#//vaguely wdk

[ballghostennis-fanball]

(begonia psoting so for convenience . maybe hse'll be color eventually idk)

[r1ngfinger]

☂️- Most common fronters?

💫- Does anyone wanna share something about their source? Feel free to ramble, anyone can answer too!

🌸- How do you keep track of your system? (Members, switches, etc)

🥀- Any childhood things that should've tipped you off to being a system?

💐- Do you like being a system?

🐚- Do you know any systems IRL?

🍄- Do you prefer in-system dating or out-of-system dating?

🌿- Best quote from an alter?

🌳- Do alters have separate accounts for games or do you all share an account?

right now it's Electrochem, Vol, Pansy, Rhetoric, Auth, PT, and many more! tbh our front roster is like half the skills at this point I think Bdhzjajakskd

Not much to ramble about rn uhhh we're a bit out of it atm but I think it's very funny how some of our main fronters have horrid memories of Harry meanwhile Encyclo's only vivid memory of the guy was trying and Failing to help him pass a test LMAO

PK and simply plural!!

major maladaptive daydreaming and like. Chronic Boredom. we kept to ourself a lot as a small child I think idk our memories are really fuzzy around that period Jdjssjdjfk

We do, yeah! wouldn't trade it for anything tbh

Sadly not :'3c it'd be cool though!!

in-sys dating. I think we're done w out-sys dating tbh tho our qpp is an exception [hiii cataquack if you see this. mwah]

oh as of recenttttt let's seeee. "I'm a tranny and my cock is huge" from Electrochem Babwjwejakekdkwf chem said that out of nowhere one morning LMAO and Vol's reaction was like "Pleaze shut up it's too early for this shit!! [lighthearted]" and uhhj "okay. can you be happy for me? i have a new hobby and it's torturing my loved ones" from Logic Aiaiakskakddks he sounded so earnest when he said it, it was so funny

Depends!! We share accounts usually but with things like Pokemon playthrus those r generally played by one sysmate at a time!

[rin-and-jade]

Okay, so we've tried several times to write an ask, and each time we just..stop ?? So this time instead of explaining in detail n shit and saying how much we're sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, I'm just gonna write :/

So, we're kind of stuck, in the sense that idk if I'm/we're(both pronouns feel wrong lol) a system anymore and,wdk what to do about it.

Because basically 5-6 years ago, when we were around 10(i think, but at this point i only know the story through the "telephone" of our retellings) our brain tried to just.. get rid of most of the DID. I'm not even ducking kidding, i think it tried to lower barriers and smush most of us together, to the best of it's ability. From what I've gathered, it planned on shoving all our trauma deep down in the innerworlds, and hiding them from the main kid. Like, getting rid of thousands of fragments, banking them in little crevices of our brain etc.

That procedure was supposed to make it so the main kid could have more of their life for them- without access or even knowledge of the sheer size of the abyss and pain in background, and thus being less affected by it till they were old enough to deal with it. Idk how to explain really, especially since i myself barely understand.

In any case, it went wrong. I don't know why much, as our memory has increasingly deteriorated since to the point i have nearly no knowledge left. I'm not sure even all that ever happened, because maybe I'm just inventing stuff and creating a story were there is none, and I'm scared that what i know isn't real and just my imagination or smth

And what's left is..me i guess. I kinda feel like a fragment in the sense that i have limited consciousness and just..person-space(if that makes sense ?) I'm not sure if I'm several people, one person, an eldritch entity of kinda seperate kinda not glued together entities.

Idek what i want to be. I want to be a full person, that's for sure, but other than that ? Idk. I'm lost, I'm a mix of tons of different opinions and vague, weak, feelings, and flashes of blurry memories and desires that don't belong to me.

So.. i know you probably can't help, but do you have.. any idea on what I could do ? Or if others have been in similar situations and if it got better ?

This is a very long ask x knows, and it's desperate, and you aren't our/my psychs so I shouldn't just dump this and hope you have answers, and I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, but yeah.

I'm sorry.

Dissociative disorders do the job, but not perfectly, what you're explaining from the words of "nearly no knowledge left" sounds like retrograde amnesia, where it is near to impossible to remember anything from the past.

I also get a bit on what you mean with not knowing who you are,, that is usually close to a blurry moment? Because everything feels jumbled, its not clear, it is hard to discern wether there's multiple or not, etc. That could sound like it;

Have you been exposed to stress? Especially long term? Has anything awful been happening? Many factors can affect memory and recognizing who you are that can stem from basic needs that are neglected like sleep or rest if you're working for long periods, or deficiencies on vitamins/minerals/nutrition because they also play a part on fending off brain fog which can cause many issues like memory recall or trouble focusing,, or it can be to even deeper issues like stress as i said before, or if it is related to trauma, or any sustained physical injuries but it could be anything really.

Im guessing this is something that didn't happen in such a short time, but i do can give you some stuffs to do for starters:

Write down everything you can notice those feelings, those lingering sense of identity, or vibes, or thoughts, they are truly jumbled and it helps you organize and recognize your situation better if you have a physical record of what you're experiencing

Find the cause of problem If you can, try digging up anything you can find that could be the culprit, maybe before things get too foggy to remember that could serve as clues, and by checking with your current health (physically and mentally and emotionally) and see what could be fixed.

For sense of fulfillment It is overwhelming to know which or where you have to start from if you want to learn more of yourself, while you can do number 1 to jot down things you don't align with, this also gives you some ideas on what could be yours. Start somewhere small, like, how you like your daily morning, or preference in eating food, or the colors you think it looks cool.

It would also be great if you can leave out the tiniest bit of context next time, so my answers for now are rather vague and less pinpointed/specific. Though atleast still can suffice as a starting point to tackle your issues.

You can contact me anytime via ask box or DMs, let's see how things go for you okay?

- j

[just-antithings]

Something grinding our gears: like, you can be sex-repulsed and still not harass people over fanfiction.

And like, being an aceplex system with varying levels of being on that repulsed/affirmative sliding scale, and it feels like we're simply Stuck between both ends here:

• No! Don't harass people over fanfiction.

• But also you aren't actually sex-positive if you do not acknowledge some people will think it is fucking gross weather there is a purity culture or one is completely absent.

So even the proship spaces just seem vaguely acemisic. And we sometimes wonder how many people call themselves anti or anti-leaning simply because of how pervasive allonormativity is. We wish this could be...acknowledged more? We don't know why this wouldn't be acknowledged more. Yes ship what you want but when everything is romance and sexuality and there's very little platonic stuff in comparison it can be alienating and that can be very taken advantage of.

So nobody even has to be explicitly acemisic or aromisic, it can just be, wdk, maybe the fact that there are undercurrents of that EVERYWHERE even in supposedly accepting spaces, and that includes fandom.

If that?? Makes any sense?? Just while people are talking about queermisia in general here we wanted to pitch in on that.

(Same for aromantics, replace everything with romance-repulsed and amatonormativity and the point SHOULD be fine/about the same.)

.

[anendoandfriendo]

Ah. We see. Now THAT'S interesting.

So, this is definitely just more an us-thing but some of the way we use labels is like, it's not so much that labels that are hooked to each other are umbrella terms or even that one is more important than the other, but the further on the left it goes the more, hmmmm, encompassing it is compared to other labels.

Example: We find the "endogenic" part of our origin to be vastly more important than the "protogenic" part of "protogenic-endogenic" bit as we've said before, we are endogenic specifically BECAUSE we are protogenic.

Example: if we read transneumasc in the ways natural to us we will most likely hear/see "transneutral with a gradient into transmasculine but there's less masc in there and more neutrality" which is...INTERESTING to us because we'd always wondered about our brainbody's fluctuation between the two and why "transmascneu" wouldn't do it for us the same way. But like still, you see? The latter is still hooked to the former.

(At least we very vaguely have two -bodyic coining ideas now. Lol?)

Anyways this isn't anything special to anyone else but is very much a "OH WOW" moment for us. Like it isn't even that necessary for communication with other beings most of the time we imagine but it's. Fascinating. Because this could very much be the common way of reading the english language but let us tell you as beings who were in honors english and honors literature basically their whole school career, nobody acted like it and you really only got into honors if you were able to reasonably parrot stuff and only THEN once you were in honors would they teach you critical thinking and rhetorical analysis skills. WDK where we're going with this part of the context lol.

[anendoandfriendo]

JEEZUS CHRIST the system vibes from season 5 of this podcast, FUCK, we are went from 0 to wheezing approximately halfway through the episode between "we forgot our acoustic guitar at the apartment," and"well fuck, time travel plus some other weird bullshit has screwed up our perception of birthdays, we guess we don't have a birthday anymore," sbpaojshsl.

We also vaguely remember the podcast introducing the idea of fusing separate people into one body and not knowing if that'd make them plural/multiple or Something Else bit wdk if that's actually been enacted 'cause we've been using this for the ~ambience~ amd background noise lolsob

And it does literally take up until season five for all of that to happen afawk

[r1ngfinger]

Just do all the daemon asks. Infodump ur soul out

AKKLDKLSKJDF ALLI I LOVE YOU 

Anfang: What gender is your daemon? (Daemons can be the opposite gender, the same gender, or outside the binary altogether) -- as far as we know, she’s female or nb but female leaning!!

Belisaria: How talkative is your daemon?  What does their voice sound like? -- She’s very talkative!!!! though we both forget to project so oftentimes she just sounds like me fsjlkdjfl tho when we do remember she has a slight british accent? her voice is also higher pitched and sounds a bit squeaky

Cerebaton: Do you think your daemon is smarter than you? -- she... is not at all JSADLKFJFDF but!! she certainly has more common sense than i do!

Golden Monkey: Are there any unscrupulous traits that you find your daemon possesses?  Would you say they are your dark side? -- weeeellllll for the most part yeah i suppose. she’s my common sense and all but she’s also that voice in my head that’s like “this person being sad over something reasonable to be sad about is stupid and annoying and wow cant they chill” but thats. usually only if we remember to project and separate her thoughts from mine lmao

Hester: How would adventures with your daemon be like? -- THEYD BE A MESS SNDLSKJDFLJ. she’s a big ol boa constrictor usually so itd all involve people being like “excuse me hello WHY HTE FUCK IS THERE A BIG SNAKE FOLLOWING YOU” and im like oh its fine thats my daemon :) NDSLKFDFJG

Kaisa: Does your daemon notice things before you do?  Are they more aware than you? -- kinda!!!! but its a very vague noticing so its like “!!!!!!!!! danger!!!!” “whats wrong dude” “idk but somethings up!!!!!!!!!!!!! we’re going 2 DIE” “no its fi-oh shit nvm yeah thats a problem. aw fuck. we’re fucked.” “YEAH NO SHIT”

Karossa: What mood is your daemon usually in?  Do you even feel their emotions? -- id say shes either in a mood i cannot describe or i cant feel/recognize her emotions at all. alexithymia is a fuck but sndskjdfl honestly i have nooooo idea what mood shes in when i do remember to project her tbh

Kirjava: What form do you think your daemon will settle as?  What do you want them to settle as?  If you are settled, do you particularly like their form? -- wdk!!!! she seems to quite like her boa constrictor form so i think she’s settled on that one but rn she’s decided to become a phoenix but didnt really Want To Commit To That so now im laying on my bed with an overgrown boa constrictor with firey wings laying on me

Kulang: Do you know your daemon’s personality types?  Would you say their personality is the opposite of yours? -- uh kinda!! she’s a bit more curious than i am and shes also very cautious!! i suppose we’re still working on personality tbh ^^;; she jumps from caution to wanting tof ight very quickly though NFLKDJF

Kyrillion: How do you think your daemon would interact with the daemons of others?  What about with other humans? -- she’d be weary but quickly jump into asking tons n tons of questions!!!! shes a very curious bab

Matapan: Does your daemon comfort you/cheer you up when you are down? -- she does so matter-of-factly ! she uses facts and whatnot to cheer me up, such as “hey man at least u didnt somehow fuck up even worse tbh everythings gonna be ok its fine you’ll live” shes... not the best at comfort but i appreciate what she does LMAO

Musca: What do you think your parents’ daemons would have named your daemon?  Do you think it would have been a fitting name? -- OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY i have no idea lmao. it probs woulda been something more otherworldly and not DIPPER thats fr sure lmao

Pantalaimon: Does your daemon argue with you a lot?  About what?  Who’s right? -- we do!!!!!!! we argue constantly!!!!! its mainly about paranoia-based things!!!! she keeps me from having major anxiety attacks tbh. shes almost always right

Ragi: Is your daemon more mature than you? -- i dont think so! 

Ratter: What forms did your daemon take before you were settled? -- a tarantula was her first ever form! soon after that she shifted into the boa form she has now. i think she’s just lazy tbh cuz ik a boa isnt totally fitting for her and she knows it too but she Likes The It its a comfort form i suppose

Salcilia: Would you give up your daemon for anything?  What would life be like without them? -- id trade her for one corn chip and honestly she’d do the same to me ASDFLKJGLJFG

Sandling: What is your daemon’s outlook on life?  What are their opinions on various philosophical topics (the afterlife, the nature of morality, etc.) -- she is extremely pessimistic when it comes to life and such, and she assumes she wont reeally exist in the form she has rn when i die. its... ueah. dark. ndlksjdlsd

Sayan Kötör: What would your daemon be like if they existed in corporeal form?  Do you wish corporeal daemons existed? -- a very very long boa with teeny lil wings made of fire tbh. yes i do

Sergi: Would you have liked to undergo separation (a la the witches) from your daemon? -- nO!! nslksjljksfd i need dipper to function tbh jfc

Stelmaria: Has your daemon ever fallen in love?  What do they think of your past datemates/crushes? -- she has not!! she’s most likely aro/ace like myself. she has no issues with my past signifs except for He Who Shall Not Be Named, but when i was dating him, she got along alright with him.

Sophonax: How well would your daemon’s form have matched your physical appearance? -- this one’s worded weirdly SKLDJKLF uhhh her form currently doesnt match my phyisical appearence all that well but whatever tbh

Zohariel: What is your daemon’s name, and what does it mean? -- According to a user from United Arab Emirates, the name Dipper is of English origin and means "Adventurous boy". She’s also trying out the name Paracosm, which means “detailed imaginary world“.