#//shes like ugh ur right
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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Does anyone else feel like Aylinluna was horribly out of character this episode?? I've heard that apparently some things were cut, so that might be the reason but it still felt weird. Like ur telling me Luna, who has literally been so respectful of Aylin's boundaries literally even last episode, is suddenly forcing her to go out of her comfort zone?? Okay, fine, I understand the concept of wanting ur gf to get along with ur friends, but ur telling me Luna wouldn't stand up for Aylin when someone is clearly getting in her face and making her uncomfortable?? That she would call her an ALIEN??!!!
#look how they massacred my boy#everyone clap that i even spelled that word#god idk today's ep just felt off in general#ongsasun the only saving grace#also let me tell u#u can rlly tell they r lesbians#the only other gmmtv show I've watched was bad buddy#and each step for those boys was like pulling teeth#these two r like doing a speedrun compared to that#they went confess ✅ start dating ✅ kiss ✅ have sex ✅#am i allowed to say sex on tumblr???#also that's what happened right dhsh#imagine if the towel just fell#next ep starts and its ongsa like OH FUCK SORRY#anyway back to aylinluna#the fuck is up with ton#i have such mixed feelings abt that man#sometimes he's a himbo and slay and all#but sometimes he acts like he has the brain of a toddler#earlier episodes luna would've slapped him !!#like what do u mean everyone is like U OKAY after he just accosted not one but two girls#ugh idk#i just dont like how they seem to be going the route of: im ur gf so im gonna baby u#come psppss come socialize silly#LEAVE LUNA ALONE SHE WOULDN'T#also am i crazy but like Aylin's interacted with those ppl before#maybe not ton and mawin but everyone is acting as if she hadn't been making strides in social interaction already#23.5#23.5 the series#aylinluna
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"in the original myth medusa was a rape victim!" i'm literally banging my head against the wall
#you know there are ACTUAL rape victims in greek mythology you could be focusing on rn right???#but hey these people think persephone and hades are a romance so i dont think they actually care#“feminist” greek mythology retellings that are actually more misogynistic than the original myths i hate you sm#incase ur wondering i saw a stupid tiktok and all the comments were like “i feel so bad for her she's a such a victim” and just... ugh#tbh i feel like it's pretty weird that u aren't chill with medusa just being a monster but whateverrrr#if u want a sympathetic monster the minotaur is right there#also like... it just doesn't make any sense... if medusa used to be human explain her sisters#if athena was trying to protect her why did she help perseus kill her#this also kinda goes into the whole phenomenon of thinking “men” in historical contexts means men and not humans#like artemis isn't textually a lesbian#(altho i dont actually care if u hc artemis as a lesbian i just think we need to keep historical context in mind when interpreting myth)#greek mythology#medusa#milowing
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\(_ _)
#im so upset ok literally no one cares but#my bedroom at home was getting kinda redone this summer#we repainted and added shelves above my desk and styff#so i displayed my album collections on the shelves it was so slay ok it was fire#and#today as i was adjusting things#the shelf with my skz collection just fucking rips out of the wall bro#like BROO?? there are holes in my wall now but idec bro MY ALBUMS???? l#it was so high up too im. they fell from a catastrophic height.#literally every single one of my skz albums falling to the floor which is like at least 50 or smth idek#no that sounds too high but you know. A LOT#i have from mixtape to rockstar not every singlr one but yeah#MY LIMITED ALBUMS?? THESR ARE EXPENSIVE HOLY#im taking a deep breath rn#actually looking from through my tears they didnt look Too beat up (except noeasy fuck that packaging) and except my stay in playground pho#photobook case CRACKEDDDD og my god. its judt the outer plastic case but i. am. so. sad#that is like $50 bro#anyway god#now we have to somehow fix it. we used these shelves before in my sisters room and they've held up great but she pretty much puts stuffed an#animals and thats it lol#did not account for my shitload of albums creating a ton of weight but well.#theyre supposed to hold 170 lbs are my albums rly more than that holy shit#ANYWAY#this litrtally happenrd 15 minutes ago thats why im venting rambling idk#now i have to sleep in my moms room AGAINN until these are fixed#like i love her but i like sleeping alone god pls#(i also primarily write at night and. well its not the easiest to write smut and stuff when ur mother is right next to u.)#GOD UGH. idk its fine but im#silver lining is it wasnt my loona collection bc not only are those rare ash i swear they dent from a strong gust of wind bro#I REACHED TAG LIMIT LMAO I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING BYE
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ur sophie post was made for me hi hello
i go along with the hc she’s siblings with david! (and josef ) so she naturally adopts the last name leatherhoff!! :) i hc her as the youngest and that i think she went to college for nursing for the heck of it (i think she just didn’t know what path to take) and that she’s now just running a flower shop and living her best life i have other more minor hcs in relation to the complexities of her as a person because she’s sosoooo important to meee my gosh☝️😞
hello!! :D i am so happy someone is appreciating her as she deserves !!
i've seen a lot of the hc of her and david being siblings and ive always thought it was cool :3 its an interesting way to connect the characters to one another and adds an layer of hilarity to the idea that david was the one who hit simon lol
in my mind she's the oldest and has a younger brother who she helps tutor after her classes and before her parents get off work- i like the idea that she's close with her family, she deserves it :(
the idea of her owning a flower shop is so good i love that- i hc that her mom is really into gardening and so sophie picked up drying/pressing flowers from her! and she picked up her love of taxidermy bone art (i think she would make stuff like darkferncreations on Instagram- mixes of pelts and skeletons and plants- check them out if you aren't sensitive to that sorta stuff! their work is gorgeous) from her love of museums and the general concept of preserving the act of life after death. she'd find it comforting, i think. making beauty out of something so tragic.
i am so sorry for rambling so much in response i just love her so muchhhh
and i would adore to hear more of ur ideas about sophie :3c the game gives us NOTHING and i need other fans to help fill the void
#cry of fear#cry of fear sophie#askbox cryptid#she is my everything rn#like listen simon baby light of my life i love you but ur best friend is so cool and i need to hang out with her irl right this instant#she!! had so much potential!! give us SOMETHING#let her be a freak! a weirdo! the girl who talks about bugs and bones and the decomp process and has not a single inch of space on her wall#I FORGOT TO MENTION I LIKE THE HC THAT SHE PINS BUGS#she would find them so pretty :((#sending simon one million pictures of beetles and he responds only with the thumbs up emoji at like 3am#and she'd like knitting :(( make gloves for her friends and a blanket for simon and a sweater for her fat old cat named beef stroganoff#UGH im sorry ill stop talking ahbdkjasbd i adore her and want to be her friend
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does anyone have any suggestions for like. side hustling things? not to get too personal but my mom's work place was destroyed by Helene and she's getting unemployment for now but is thinking she ultimately wants to use the circumstances to relocate up closer to where I live
I want to like. do Something. art commissions? writing commissions?? I have some jewelry I've made that I need to like set up a website to sell or like go to a local art thing and sell or something. I'm getting back into pixel art/animation. idk. I'm gonna be earning more from work with the holiday busies but I want to be able to like Really help her financially bluh
#I'm thinking I should also make a solid list of like Christmas gifts and stick to them rather than going wild this year#so technically alice is covered bc I bought her new headphones and said they're early Christmas#Taylor is covered mostly. J is covered mostly. jena and Alex I'm working on. fen and Heather I got no damn clue#ugh I should get my boss something but she would also understand if I Didn't bc of helping my mom move lol#idk. this is a general outreach for ideas#maybe once it gets down to it I'll just start promoting my Kofi and being like yeah I'll doodle ur blorbos or something#we don't know the timeline yet either of like if she's gonna move right away or if she's going to wait until spring or what#if she waits until spring she wants a laptop to work from home where she's at right now#but if she wants to move Now then I need money Now u know 😬#idk idk. stressed but not crazy stressed but also Stressed lmao
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don’t you love it when ur friend forgets about u and ignores ur existence the second she’s near her best friend
#/sarcastic#but ugh i feel like an idiot#like yes i understand she’s ur best friend ur super close u know each others deepest darkest secrets u have inside jokes etc#but why the fuck are u completely ignoring me??#no eye contact not a single word to me and i have not idea what u guys are talking ab and im RIGHT HERE#like i know im short but i know u can fucking see me#the past few weeks have been nice we’ve hung out a few times and talked and it’s good#but the second her bestie is there is like i don’t exist#like am i missing something?? i know her bestie doesn’t hate me bc she said hi and hugged me#but she was also low key ignoring me and not including me in the conversation so i’m also annoyed with her#tbh from now on i won’t initiate convos with her like idc im sick of feeling like she’s only friends with me as a last resort#bc fun fact: we didn’t talk much for about 2 years and then out of the blue asks if we want to hang out months after she had a fight with#someone and lost all her friends except like 3#so idc i don’t wanna drag this on anymore#ok rant over time to enjoy my boba#ani’s stuff
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brain is overrated let me be a sea sponge 👎👎👎
#feeling horrible bc the only person i could talk to about how i feel is terrible at comforting me lol#she'll be like 'youre not gonna cry in my office right lol'#or I'll say i haven't felt able to wash my hair and she'll just go EwWww#girl please im trying so hard to stay afloat rn#i want to vent to someone but im just picturing her reaction if i said how i really feel ...#and it seems whenever im depressed and less talkative and don't contact her as much#she's never the one to reach out. but then i get 'why did u not message me??'#like idk maybe because my brain is killing me ????#ik im not the best friend either but just hate feeling like i have to hear all of her problems and she doesn't really do the same for me :(#and it's like that for school things too. could literally recite her thesis for u rn but i don't think she has ever read any of my work ugh#anyway fuck. remember how it feels to be in a relationship & someone cares about ur thoughts and work???
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this old bitch is testing my patience
#the floral manager is on health leave and isnt coming back so me and a coworker are supposed to be filling in both of us 2gether#and she keeps doing shit without my input and shes not even like wanting to be the manager when applications open#and i am#and im like the obvious choice bc she cant even work the hours#and shes like oh im just here to support and like she doesnt evn want the manager position#yet im trying to do my best and learn everything and do what i can and shes like doing ahit without my input and im UGH#and im like yeah i did the paperwork yeah i did the whatever and shes like oh are u sure u did it right and im like yeah#and then shes like ur supposed to do it this way#AND ITS NOT EVEN THE RIGHT WAY LIKE SHE DOWSNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING YET 2ND GUESSES EVRRYTHINH I DO FUCCCKKK UR OLD DEMENSIA ASS OFF
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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Wow, Manifest could be such a fun story to play with if it weren't such aggressive copaganda.
#manifest#manifest netflix#every single time this character goes 'you can trust me im a cop' it's like dude#i would be laughing in ur face right now#also WHY do these shows always be like yeah this cop character loves being a cop. hates every single rule and process though.#like you could just make them a private detective with a friend who is a cop and it would be 500% better#and easier to stomach#but naur its like 'shes a good cop! because uh. she breaks every cop rule :) that's a good thing i prommie!'#it makes me want to frow up for realsies#it's a TIME TRAVEL story we didnt need COPS#also her cop boyfriend is!!! the fucking worst! he's so aggressive!!!! he doesnt trust her!!! girl!!!#UGH i hate it here#the system speaks
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WHAT DO I DOOO
#my friends ex bf just messaged me to ask me to ask my friend to unblock him#specifically he said if shes doing ok hed love to speak to her but if she has enough on her plate i shouldn't ask her#and like . ...WELL YEAH . like . ok two things#she has not much to do rn but she has a lot on her plate in terms of like...getting over him and healing and trying to get a job etc but#she is ok . BUT ALSO. this relationship was like . not great for her and also shes been in relationships back to back to back#for many yrs and she knows she has a massive problem w getting back w her exes even if she knows she shouldnt etc#and when she does it leads her to not work on her own life anymore . anyway i have seen this pattern for many yrs#and like ik the ultimate harm of them getting back tgth would be more than the good . and like shes just starting to get over it etc#and get used to a life without a partner for the first time in yrs. BUT. ON PRINCIPLE I CANT JUST NOT TELL HER RIGHT#LIKE IF UR EX BF MESSAGED UR FRIEND SAYING HE WANTS TO TALK TO U SURELY YOUD WANT TO KNOW#omg#....#UGH
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Sounds like that girl just wanted to get ally brownie points without putting effort in and figured the quickest way would be to befriend a bi man she could pretend was completely gay, and it also kinda sounds like she's the 'oh you're bi/lesbian? Don't fall in love with me' type. I'm sorry your friendship got fucked bc she can't be normal tho :(
this was literally exactly it and i kinda knew it even as it was happening but i guess i was in denial bc that was the first time something like that happened to me. like i remember her (tory) mate came up from down south once and she was SO strange around me. like you know when straight girls fish for a gay girl's attention bc they want the validation but get weirded out the MOMENT it happens? like that. like we were talking about piercings at one point bc i have a couple and she was like 'i have my nipples pierced, wanna see?' and obvs instantly very uncomfortable bc i KNEW i would be the one made to look bad no matter how this went, but she then just started laughing like 'WAIT YOU'RE BI HAHAHAHA' and i was like. yeah. im not the one who told you that so it's fun that it's so important to my mate to literally be a point of conversation when im not there. this is so fun. im glad you're both obsessed with this random gay boy though. ally!
#as if she hadnt just offered to flash a total stranger like ur right babe that's soooooo funny#ugh#ask#hella goes to uni
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Maybe I rlly should just move onto apex....like this is what I do to cope, distract, help my mental health, no goddamn way imma deal with a hint of anything that does the opposite.
#like ugh ugh reader x Valkyrie#ur hurt and falling from the sky and fall into her strong strong arms.#or god you revive loba and she kisses you on the cheek and says thanks beautiful#OR OR OR you get a good headshot in and bangalore looks you up and down...simple 'i like what i see'#WAH!!! THE WOMEN OF APEX!!! HOT#anyways this blog is supposed to be fun#like an oasis for when life is shit#and life is rlllly shit rn and suddenly im being called a cun cuz i wont update your omegaverse fanfic on time#like damn...its not my fault u cant write it yourself#i mean u could try....but we both know it wouldn't be as talented right?#okokok thats just a jab at that one person i highly encourage everyone to make works themselves#the more the merrier#or yk i might just post here#ppl tend to comment less so. less demands#and im just never gonna respond to ao3 comments now#used to live conversing but everything is always fucking ruined :/
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Thinking abt my teenage years .
#and the tumultuous feelings#I came across some drama scene lol and got reminded of boys. like. as a genre#like teenage boys. they r. insane#abt how ppl do things that are unnecessary as if they are oblivious but i rlly wonder is everyone really oblivious#also maybe im just really easy to win over like do i stand a chance against the fitnah of this world man#i rmemeber this kid. A whole grade below me. the new board member for my friend's club. I was helping her w/ club stuff on the computer#(he was also tall and kind. that. was the problem. not to be a sterotypical Girl. but)#and this kid casually just. leaned over me and put his hand on the mouse (on which my hand alr was)#like. how do u do that. casually. unintentionally.#obv i pulled my hand away and avoided him since lmao cuz. who wants to catch feelings for a whole 10th grader when ur in 11th grade right#ig thats why it was a shock to me. i thought boy-crazy mali would just like whoever it is she talked to first. and yet here i am#having talked to at least 3 million guys on 3 million blind dates and yet found none of them attractice#attractive*#is there smth wrong with me lol. maybe i just like the idea of guys. and not guys that i actually might end up with lol#lskdfjalkfd#anyway ig was living my best life these past few months being too focused on not feeling well to think abt boys as a genre#cuz yeah what a waste of my morning today thinking abt all this garbage#💀💀💀 oversharing again oof its been a while since i felt the need to do that man#i swear shaitan waits for Friday to whisper stupid stuff into my brain#like. let me live i just wanna read surah kahf and teach my classes ugh#delete later#uhm also like. ik its a 10 year old story but i hope to god my friend isn't following me aldkjfaskdjfaf#can u blame me tho. i was. like 15 or 16#it was much easier in middle school there was only like 15 boys in my grade and i disliked them all
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I cant wait to see the options in book three for the reactions sidestep can have to Mortums betrayal
#Im sorry I’m just so excited#so many complex emotions in that one ugh#like—with Marcos running away in his puppets body cause they’re freaked out is also so interesting#like??? get ur ass back there!!! BUT ALSO HIS BODY CAN MIND CONTROL HIM NOW RIGHT??? he can’t use his telepathy#granted he didn’t rely hardcore on it so it’s not ‘that’ strong (how will that b incorporated into the game?)#If oros body had been the one possessed—she strong af in force of mind so that would be worrying#ughrbbebr#like great! the mob crew has the body but it’s completely out of his control#and oro dosnt have anyone on her side 💀 and now has to figure out how to WAKE UP and escape the lab#i wonder how long she’s gunna be in there🤔#i wonder how Marcos will convince anyone that he’s a beautiful woman now
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