#//retard mention

[theriu]

How To Extinguish A Phoenix

Phoenix: ACHOO! (bursts into flames)

Me: (sprays down with fire extinguisher)

Phoenix: (sniff) . . . I think that-ah-ACHOO (combusts again)

Me: (sprays again) We might need to switch extinguishers here soon.

Phoenix: Already?! Just let me di-ah-ah . . . ! No, lost that one. Anyway, just let me die, then!

Me: Not a chance, buddy! Remember what you said: no matter what, don’t let you burn to ash, because a cold isn’t as bad as spending six months regrowing all your feathers. Focus on that! The meds should kick in soon! And I’m not giving your deposit back!

Pheonix: I knooow, but I haaate thiiis . . . ah-ah-AH—!

Me: (sprays)

Phoenix: (sputtering) At least wait until I’m ACTUALLY on fire!

Me: (sheepish) Sorry. I got excited.

Phoenix: So glad you’re enjoying yourself!

Me: Look, I do not care how much you paid me: Dodging flammable pheonix snot is not how I like to pass my time. But fire extinguishers are fun, and if we’re both going to be miserable, I don’t see why we shouldn’t relish what little joy is to be had here.

Phoenix: . . . That’s fair, I guess.

Me: Tell you what—if I catch on fire, you can spray ME down.

Phoenix: Aw, thanks. That’s really . . . ah . . . ah . . . ACHOO!!!

Me: (sprays)

———

(A/N: This one goes out to all the people afflicted with holiday bugs! There’s SO MANY OF YOU, my WORD. I hope you feel better and still have a very Merry Christmas and all the other holidays left this year!)

For more assorted nonsense, visit my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

[secundus-cinaedus]

while i 1000 percent believe it has been twisted to suit a leftist agenda, the people who believe climate change is completely fake are legitimately fucking braindead

[antiradqueerguy]

saw trans-ret⁴rd few days ago. Im legally that. It make me want to vomit

NOT THE SLUR??? RETARD WAS A MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS THAT WAS USED TO OPRESS MENTALLY DISABLED PEOPLE?? THATS NOT CUTE.

[rigormortisangel]

i get such violent thoughts when someone cries in front of me it angers me in ways i cant explain in words shut the fuck up shut up you whiny little bitch crying doesnt fix shit unless you want someone to beat you unconcious you just want me to come comfort you so you can rape me fuck you im not falling for that shit anymore kys

[800lbhammer]

one of the many reasons why i do not smoke anymore is because of how strong weed has become. i remember buying fucking dirt brick weed that has been marinating under a pile of mulch for weeks or hiding in someones basement for months, ykno the shit with seeds and stems in it. one puff of government approved Turd Spangler OG wrapped in Yacky Wacky Strudel Doo Kief has me feeling like im naked and theres ants crawling over me for real

[ballfondler37]

linda stays rotten in my base

[hard--headed--woman]

uh i reply to all your messages once i am done with that italian project. non pensate che non mi piaccia parlare con tutti voi!

[foreverunknownandbarelyalive]

imagine being upset that things are being done to minimize the impact of the most obnoxious people in our society on people just trying to go about their lives and mind their business... couldn't be me

[oetscop]

i hate how i Sound at work lately like i hate it there. but i cant even mask anymore so i come off as really mean to customers who dont deserve it. if someones being rude or a creep i tend to drop the mask very unintentionally. but people will try to make small talk and i just sound so flat and pissed and ushsjshejsbs

[transmeowsculine]

Meow? Mf

KILL YOURSELF RETARD

You are an actaul burden to society only freaks like you it will not get better for you so die <33

thought abt it. there is nothing i can say that is funnier than this ask itself. so thanks anon cause meow? mf is forever a part of my vocabulary.

[just-antithings]

An lolibro on Twitter is having a meltdown because other proshippers want them to stop using slurs. They are going on and on about how they are being racist because their white, how straightphobic they are being, and they are being genuine feel this way.

All because other proshippers told them to stop saying ret*rd, stop saying f*ggot, and to stop using the n word.

They wonder why it's hard for fans of lolis to get along with proshippers, most are willing to talk to lolicons, just not the ones like this and sadly they are the loudest (on Twitter aleast)

Hmm wonder why a group that dislikes slurs and harrasment would be against slurs and harrasment. Hmmmm 🤔

[antiradqueerguy]

quit stealing code retard

ah ah ah its not stealing code, if i was stealing code i wouldn't be crediting the original creator

Using site themes isn't stealing code when the code is free to use in the first place,

:P

I'm not even done with the site and I'm already being called slurs over something that's so easy to fact check

If you would like to use repths themes click here

[woomycritiques543]

While it's used as a pejorative, I'm pretty sure "dumb" isn't a slur. If you genuinely think it is, censoring it in the way you did it doesn't do much to help or protect anyone from it.

Please... for the love of god do your own research.

(Also for the comment, search up "ableist language" and it's the first result and it comes in the form of a PDF file.)

It's not that hard. It's not just a "insult" it's an actually harmful term to use. Same for r^tard. (Also, I censor it for my own mental health, what you're saying only effects tags, not the post.) For a community that values "time" and "research" there does you seem to be quite a few of you who lack the sympathy to do research on basic things like this. Also yes, please censor the word (unless in a tag), many people have trauma with these words. I myself, have trauma with these words, so please be honest to your word and respect other people's trauma/experinces. It's the least you can do :(

[n4talia-chaparro]

And I feel disgusting and dirty for remembering all that gross shit I went through as a child.

Almost got SAd from an old family member of mine. Been gr00med and manipulated multiple times that I grew up with it and still have all those gross disgusting thoughts since 9.

Quiet funny because that's the reason why I'm a closeted regressor and I wish I was 8 or 9 again.

And you people expect me to be normal? Well, you're wrong. I'm a disgusting person and I'm still am LMFAO

Do I feel ashamed and embarrassed to admit that? Yes. Do I feel disgusted? Absolutely. God I love and hate everything at the same time.

[nomoregingers]

[trans-wojak]

I had a whack dream last night about my abusive ex who raped me but then I used lucid dreaming skills to change it. But lucid dreaming is very complex so I ended up somehow making my ex into Rick Sanchez (in the middle of a rape scene that turned into a consensual one cause I realised I’m dreaming) and then the entire dream was about getting married to him and he was treating me right etc it was fucking random af cause I didn’t even watch or think about Rick and Morty that night LOL now I probably have too high expectations cause dream Rick Sanchez was such a hopeless romantic sweetheart who was loving towards me lmao