#//oooof but that took forever!
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I just finished reading abanb and I’m in awe!! You’re writing never fails to impress 😭
Also, when I finished it, I couldn’t help but think about an angsty alt ending where baby might not have made it and the boy’s reaction to their omega passing.. any thoughts 👀
oooof nonnie this is a dark thought… but since you asked i have thought about it 😢 this is not story canon buuttttttttt
chans whole world would crumble. his literally soulmate died and so for him there is nothing left. all he has left within him would be misery and anger. fuck he’s so angry. the most devastatingly angry he has ever been and will ever be. he goes on a murder spree, taking on every single person who had a hand in it- wether directly or otherwise.
minhos mind would would start to slip. he could vividly remember each moment leading up to omegas passing and it becomes too much for him to handle. he let down his pack- his family. he can’t take care of a pack if he can’t even protect his omega so there is nothing left for him and he would abandon them.
binnie would feel personally responsible. he feels like it was him who brought the threat right to their doorstep. he would become cold and detached; never cracking a joke again. he stops eating and lets his body whither away until someone has to step in.
oh jinnie, he self isolates hard. he never comes out of his room except when everyone is either gone or asleep. he doesn’t talk or make a sound, but when he’s holed up in his room he is screaming and crying and thrashing and just breaking everything. he tears up every piece of art he’s ever created, damming them for being a product of his emotions. this goes on for months
my sweet jisung has nightmares so excruciating he can’t sleep even with a light on. he spends all his days sitting on the porch, always with tears streaming down his face. some days they are silent and others they are violent sobs that wrack his body. he sits there and stares off down the road that leads to the house- praying for a miracle that she would suddenly come strolling up the path like she did the very first time he saw her.
felix never bakes again. he finds no joy in it anymore. he finds no joy in anything anymore. he cuts all of his hair off, buzzes it clean off until it grows out to his natural dark color. he is no longer the sunshine that omega used to call him, now he’s only a gloomy storm. lix cries himself to sleep every night
seungmin becomes detached- mean and deviant. he’s testy with everyone, picking fights both with the pack and strangers alike. he doesn’t give a shit about any body. he feels nothing but rage and anger and he takes it out wherever he can just to feel something. he acts like he’s unbothered, stone faced as a front. but no one knows that he can’t even look at himself in the mirror or he’ll break down into earth shattering sadness, for he can’t bear the sight of the claiming mark that remains engraved on his skin
innie tries to forget about omega. he instead drinks away his sorrows and lends his body to anyone with a pulse, fucking his way through this town and the next. no matter who is under him though he always imagines it’s omega, that she’s still here with him. that’s why he drinks, the alcohol makes all the faces blur together so he sees no one
needless to say none of them ever move on or love again. omega was the love of their lives and they will never forget or forgive the ones who took her
ngl writing this made me tear up. i can’t imagine a world where they all aren’t together forever like they’re meant to be 😢
thank you for the ask ❤️
-🍯
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oooof...
obviously Aoi was in a rough spot so it was good and right to not leave her alone, but the fact that Makoto just completely forgot about his date and didn't even think to write him that he'll be by later or smth and then the fact he even saw their embrace without context hurts so much T-T
And that Aois mum was actually planning to see her but then turned around so it's kind of a misunderstanding makes me angry too bc jfc it's been 10 years woman!!! how much longer do you want to wait if you did care all this time?!?!
Also - Ryuji is way too nice....I'm glad they met up a day later and are having a good time together but still....it must hurt him so much, even though he treasures their friendship just as much as his romantic feelings so i don't think he thinks it less at all (especially since it took him a while to realize and accept in the first place) but still....i just want all three of them to be happy somehow idk
maybe neither of them gets together with makoto but they can just be besties forever - so ofc i loved that they went together to star watch, but then the cinema moment between Makoto and Ryuji tore my heart apart...
nothing about your feelings is disgusting and don't say that Makoto was disgusted just bc you didn't kiss or were comfortable to hug closely etc, that's not it at all T-T
and smiling all the while saying this bc he wouldn't want to make him sad by seeing him sad i just- this isn't fair
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I know I keep flailing but this is all so flail-worthy!
You can totally tell he’s both excited and apprehensive, he’s quietly buzzing.
Her face lights up, as it always does, when she sees him.
And then she sees who he has brought behind him. Her no-good father. Who he is making to apologize to the whole factory (which last saw him waving a gun, shoving women and kidnapping children.)
Oooof! She is such a little girl in this moment.He can never fix anything with his parents - they are both dead - but her father, however awful he is, is still alive, and while it’s clear Aziz would happily shove him into a hole forever, he knows this is a constant ache for Efnan, a thought in the back of her head “what is wrong with me, why doesn’t he love me, why is he always thus?”
Bwahahah, he’s like a stern teacher or perhaps a mob boss (hi Ramo!) expecting the correct answer that he taught the man ahahahahahhahah who clearly starts parroting what he knows he’s supposed to say or ELSE...(side note,he’s never been hotter to me in this show than in this moment. I have issues.)
Hahaha at the little kid goggling and the factory workers doing the same, but I love that he didn’t just get the man a job somewhere else, he brought him over here not just because it’s easier to keep track of the man but because this is where Efnan weaves, these are her friends and they all saw her father be awful and even though they don’t judge her for it, he knows this is in the back of her head - all her friends and coworkers knowing about how awful a failure her father is, and he’s fixing that for her. He told awful dad back way when that he won’t let him take away that girl cousin’s childhood the way dad took Efnan’s and what strikes me is he can’t fix her childhood - nobody can fix the past - but he’s doing his damn level best to make sure the trauma from her childhood does not carry over into the present and future, to the biggest extent he’s able.
Ooof, Efnan.
Seriously. EEE! Oh, Aziz. It’s like he’s making sure to address all the horrible things her father said and did to her one by one, to the extent he can of course (at the party, Daddy awfully claimed Efnan is selfish and never cared.)
This is a lie but I love she insists on it. It’s such a defense mechanism.
The way he doesn’t bark back, as he normally would. Aziz is a terrifying miracle worker. But yup, next item on the agenda - she said she fantasized what it would have been like if he had a real job so here we are!
He is so nervous! Because this is so important to Efnan so he wants to get it right.
Hahahaha they are all “boss lost his mind.”
This is pretty much a quote of what she told Aziz she wanted I am DYING!!!!
This!!! I am going literally insane!!!! But also, I love that he found out who his father’s murderer is, there is gun and food smuggling, potential rebellion, and he still took time out for this. And on top of it his nemesis wants his girl, and his reaction to that discovery is not to rage or snap at her or be jealous at her but to be as good as possible to Efnan.
She’s like, he did all that stuff, you’d never hire someone like that and his response:
I caaaaaan’t!
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Fic Writer Interview
Thank you @forerussake for tagging me <3
name/nicknames: on the internet I'm almost always Lucien Telrunya or Luci, a real life nickname is 'Angel' or 'Angely'. My real name doesn't have any short forms and I don't like it, I prefer Luci.
fandoms: Hmmm, currently I'm very deep into various C-Dramas, mostly DMBJ (the only one I've written for so far), but also Guardian, MDZS, L.O.R.D. Critical World, Tientsin Mystic. I also still like Stranger Things (when will I ever finish my fics for that, I wonder) or various video games like Final Fantasy VII, VIII or XII.
two shots?: I'm not sure if this means something that is divided into two chapters? Then: None. I tend to write long ass things, even though I really tried my hand at a few one-shots.
most popular multi-chapter fic: That would be my first ever tumblr-post that started 'Like a lonely house' and also my first fic posted to AO3. I was so surprised by all the reactions here on tumblr and also on AO3, it really encouraged me to write more.
actual worst part of writing: oooof. I don't really know. Guess it depends on the mood? Sometimes it's trying to connect two scenes that popped up in my head. Sometimes it's trying to put something that's playing inside my head on repeat into words. Sometimes it's getting started with writing at all. Or endings. Or summaries......
how do you choose your titles: By looking at poetry or lyrics and trying to find a line that resonates and just feels right. Sometimes it's easy ('Like a lonely house' was easy), most times it's really hard (it took me forever to find 'We go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' and then I wasn't sure if it was too long for a title, but it fit so perfectly that I didn't care in the end).
do you outline?: A little. I mostly have a vague idea what I want and then I see where that takes me. Or I have some scenes/things I want to happend and I need to write a story around them.
ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: The Hei Xiazi/Zhang Rishan Immortals AU (I really, really want to read that, but I don't think I could write it, I feel like I couldn't do Hei Xiazi justice). Probably the whole Fo Ye, Ba Ye and Rishan in a tomb losing sight, hearing and voice and having to find their way out of the tomb. I still love the idea, but it's such a nebulous concept, I don't even know what would happen. But maybe this year will surprise me, who knows. There was also an idea for a fic about Wen Ning (MDZS) getting turned back into a living person and having to navigate all the things that come with that again.
callouts @ me: Stop comparing yourself to others, I'd say ^^°°°
best writing traits: I have no idea?
spicy tangential opinion: Ummm... It is spicy to say I don't get many of the various AUs in which the characters are gender-swapped or otherwise so heavily changed that they barely resemble the original character and I just wonder why people don't just write original fiction? Back when I wrote a lot of originals with my RP-partner we always had certain actors in mind (mostly even in a certain role) and imagined our character to look like them.
tagging: @elletromil, @s1utspeare, @daydreamorama, @kholran only if you want to, of course :)
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10, 20, 33, 34,, for the gifmakers asks!
Thank you Jasmine!!!
from Questions for gif-makers.
10. What was the first gif you ever posted My first gifset!
20. Mac or PC Mac
33. What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop selective colouring
34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out oooof I always spend forever on colour-themed (?) sets:
Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop + yellow
Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop + violet
Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop + red
If You Wish Upon Me + violet
Treasure Planet + white
send me an ask from Questions for gif-makers
#ask#answers#this was a lot of fun!!!#thank youuuuuuu#i couldn't settle on one set for the last question lol
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no thoughts only gorgeous winged fairy (she was a gift, took forever to get dressed)
poor girl can't even stand due to these: they're absolutely fantastic looking...but oooof so heavy
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It's so depressing how in 2024, this purportedly left-leaning website still refuses to accept that a stance like "kill all racists" is an insane stance to have. Feel free to swap out "racist" for your group of choice of course.
Some of these people need to be strapped to a chair and forced to watch The Good Place. And failing that, watch a basic lesson in retributive justice versus rehabilitative justice. Because a lot of these people don't even want an eye for an eye, they want an eye for a person's entire lower hemisphere.
Yup. That person's a racist? Kill em! That person beat someone up? Kill em! That person killed someone? Kill em!
Let's not think about how people are killed in the system but are found out to be innocent later on.
It doesn't help that prison systems are built around retribution, and off the dumb idea that you can't change someone's outlook and mind about things so they'd intrinsically want to be a better person. Nope, they're always gonna be "degenerates", there's no point...
I don't even think the US or Canadian prison system has even tried the opposite approach? The carrot instead of the stick? It's giving "we've tried everything and we're all out of ideas". Or maybe they did some half-assed program that never took off because it wasn't effective, and they used that as a reason to not try again and discount the whole idea. As for the money thing? Yeah rehabilitation costs a lot more. But y'know how much money is wasted by all the recidivism and catch-and-release shenanigans? Oooof.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like a stick is always a bad thing, there's gotta be some loss of freedom when people do horrible things. But losing human rights? State sponsored killing as punishment?
And I keep seeing people gasping at criminals who leave prison and then quickly reoffend... All I can think is, should we really be surprised by all the recidivism under the current system at this point? Maybe the problem is how these people are treated and whether they're really incentivised, motivated enough to change how they approach life and other people.
But nope, death penalty. Tiny cell. Throw em away forever.
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Bestie, I am living for this unhinged reblog. I fucking love it (and you)! 😘
This got long... so below the cut.
I love a good pun...and I also have the humor of an adolescent male. So, there's that. 😂
He really hasn't had to deal with grown up feelings at all. Our boy is going to try really hard though. He will definitely be putting in the work to have a solid relationship with his woman.
In response to your giggling gif...see, humor of an adolescent male. lol
Speaking of affection...that is going to be a whole thing with him. He's going to bust out the "I don't want this to just be about sex" conversation and Kat is going to eat that stuff up.
Bahahaha! That hulk gif always makes me cackle. So on point!
Yes! I love the coin analogy!
Ma'am... you're killing me withing this 👇, but it's so true. 🤣🤣
Dieter is a slave to the kitty 😹 in every sense
I feel like there needs to be some funny plant t-shirts now. If that happens...know it's your fault. I feel like there might be some funny cat daddy shirts too...
Oooof. Right? Watching (a sober) Dieter cook would be hot as hell. 🥵
About that subtext...they were getting a little ridiculous. I may have to make sure I do a Kat recap at the start of the next chapter. We need to know wtf was going through her head. 😂
Can't wait until Kat learns what else our boy is good at...cause you know there are some things that have been seriously lacking in her life (because Alec sucks at everything).
Girl, everyone under the sun is now listening to these songs and I think it's your fault. 😂 And yes, the tracks are fucking perfect. I can't even handle it.
More plant daddy stuff. Noted. ✅
I was rather proud of those names...I usually suck at names but those just came to me in an instant. lol
She is...cue the sexy Kat sketches. You know it's coming.
Dude, the thought of him singing and playing is the death of me. I feel like he would have a bluesy sound, or maybe I'm biased because that is what I am currently hooked on (again, your fault). Hint: There may be an instance coming up where he sings She Knows It. 👀
OMG...I didn't even think about Sweet Creature when I put that in. I was thinking about the product of the plant. But yaaaas! Shout out to @wildemaven and a quick happy anniversary to her Dieter and Poppy!
So happy you love Zee's name. It took me forever to settle on that...
Anika is an airhead. She can't help it. 🤭
Yes, Kat was totally jealous. I think that was probably the moment she realized, oh damn, he's not mine. You know what I mean?
Yaaas! So happy you got a laugh out of that line. I too laughed about it, but I'm also not as clever as I think I am. I was concerned it wasn't actually that funny. 🤣
Alec definitely doesn't see how great Kat is. You're right, he uses her in so many ways. Also probably gets off on having some control over her too.
I would say a lot of what Stacia does is for effect. She is very calculated about everything she does. However, Kat intimidates her. So, that tends to throw her off her game a bit.
Nope, it won't be long at all. Alec fucks up again within days. Dieter to the rescue...sort of? Maybe not because Kat doesn't really need rescuing. Its more like the menace comes out I would say...
Bestie, your analysis is always spot on! I agree about Kat. Dieter is giving her all the feelings, most of which she hasn't felt in a long time.
Hmmm, Dieter is not going to do anything stupid at the present time. That's not to say he won't later... He's definitely going to be a little off though.
Zee is licensed and ready to go. Really, she showed up at the perfect time. There are lots of cuddles in her future.
Do not fret my friend, Alec will be fucking up again in a matter of days and she will be over it. I'd say some new thoughts and feelings about Dieter will probably help with that too. It's all coming together in week 4 to set things up for the really good stuff in week 5. 😉
Closed Position: Week 3 (Cha Cha Part 2)
Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)
Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.
Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.
Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.
Chapter Word Count: 17.6k
👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.
👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter being Dieter. Gratuitous use of the "f" word and talk about Dieter’s member. Cat and Plant dad Dieter cuteness. Brief mentions of intimate partner violence (more protective Dieter).
Chapter Quote: “I think I just became the bitch of a seven pound menace.”
Dieter’s POV
This week had been a fucking roller coaster. It started off with a bizarre production meeting with Stacia and Joe. I couldn’t believe they asked Kat and me to be flirty for the cameras, knowing she was engaged to someone else who is part of the cast. It was beyond inappropriate. Honestly, it pissed me off and I wasn’t OK with it. I didn’t like the position it would put her in.
They hadn’t been wrong about Kat standing out during the group performance. It was obvious to anyone who had eyes and I honestly felt proud of her. After the way Stacia had acted when I requested Kat as my partner, like she wasn’t that great of a dancer, it was almost like a big ‘fuck you’ to her. I loved every second of it and was feeling a little smug as they talked about putting Kat in the spotlight. It took everything in me not to rub it in.
The lunch with Kat that followed was an interesting experience. We really hadn’t got to spend a lot of time talking about things other than dancing up to this point. The lunch was a welcome break to have other conversations. I appreciated that she seemed interested in my hobbies. My plant hobby wasn’t something that I really got to discuss with people, so it was refreshing. I also got to learn about her plans for opening a dance studio after this season ends. I could tell she wasn’t looking forward to giving up competitions, but she seemed legitimately excited about her next steps. I was excited for her, and honestly, I couldn’t wait to see what she came up with. I knew whatever she did would be amazing.
During our first rehearsal for the Cha Cha, I found myself spiraling. Especially when we started putting the dance together. I knew the Latin dances had more of a flirty and sexual feel to them and I tried to mentally prepare myself for that ahead of time. However, I was not prepared for the way Kat was moving her hips, especially when she was doing it with her backside essentially rubbing up against my dick. When I told her I didn’t want to make an ass of myself, I was referring to the fact that it was taking everything in me to keep little bravo from standing at full attention and poking her from behind. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t relax. It was literal torture. I was obviously going to have to figure out how to deal with that or we were going to have a problem going forward. I’m not even sure how I made it through rehearsals that day.
I was shocked when a text from Kat popped up on my phone later that evening. I was even more shocked when she said we were going to a Latin dance club. I tried to play it off with jokes, but internally I was falling apart. I spent the evening standing in my closet staring at my clothes. I had no fucking clue what to wear to a Latin dance club. I ended up texting my stylist around 10:30 PM, begging her to tell me what to wear. I was relieved when she said she would have a few things sent over the next day.
I had an appointment with my therapist very early the next morning. The first topic of the day was how things were going with Kat. I lied through my teeth, wanting to change the subject. I was not ready to unpack my feelings for Kat with Dr. Smith. Mostly because I was afraid of what she would have to say about it. I’m not sure Dr. Smith believed a word I said. She gave me a skeptical look when I changed the subject, but let me continue without coming back to that topic. I did notice her jotting down some notes though. I had a feeling it was going to come back to bite me later. I knew my feelings were wrong and that I shouldn’t be having them, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like it was out of my control at this point. I had tried so fucking hard to ignore it and I was still trying but failing. Some of it was physical, obviously, but the more time I spent with Kat the more I was drawn to her personality. I had never felt anything like this before and could not even begin to understand what it meant. I just wanted to pack it away and worry about it later.
I had a photo shoot with some fancy men’s fashion magazine after that. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure which one. It was the last thing I wanted to be doing, but I needed any job I could get. I still had to prove that I had my shit together and could show up and work without issue. It was also part of rehabilitating my image. The new and improved stylish Dieter Bravo. People in Hollywood talked, so it was important that I was present mentally and physically for this. I did my best to smile and be engaged with everyone, but it all felt forced. However, everyone seemed happy with the final product, so I took that as a win. At least it kept my mind distracted from what Kat and I were doing later.
When I got home, I found that my stylist had dropped off several items of clothing for our outing. I went with what looked the most comfortable. Luckily it was mostly light fabrics, so I wouldn’t burn up. I really only needed to change clothes since I had already showered, and my hair was styled from the shoot. That left me with an hour to do absolutely nothing except get myself worked up into a frenzy. The minutes were dragging on agonizingly slow, and my mind was already going to places that it shouldn’t be. I wondered what Kat would be wearing and if she was going to be moving the way she had been during rehearsals the day before. The thought of her rubbing up against me again was already making me hard.
I paced around my bedroom, begging my dick to calm the fuck down. Nothing was working. The only resolution I could come up with was to take care of it. I had been avoiding doing this because every time, my thoughts would wander to Kat. I didn’t want to think about her that way, worried that it would open up a door that I was frantically trying to hold closed.
I huffed out a quiet “fuck it” under my breath before quickly undressing and grabbing a t-shirt off the floor that I had slept in and crawled onto the bed. I found a bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer and went for it. I didn’t even try to keep the thoughts of Kat away this time - the way she would bite her lip and look at me through her lashes, the way it felt when she touched me while we were dancing, the way her hips moved. I imagined how she would look moving her hips like that on top of me and how fucking amazing she would feel wrapped around me. That was all it took to send me over the edge. I felt like a fucking teenager who was unable to control his load with how fast I came into my dirty t-shirt over the mental image of her writhing on top of me.
I laid there with my eyes closed for a few minutes, trying to come down from the high I was still riding, but the images and thoughts kept coming. I couldn’t stop them now. I wondered how she was when it came to sex. Would she prefer it to be slow and sensual or did she have a wild side? Something told me it was a little bit of both, and I was one hundred fucking percent on board with that. Within minutes, I was hard again. Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with me? It had to be a new record because it never happened that quickly. Was it because I had been denying myself? Or was it because of Kat? Maybe both?
I looked at the clock, realizing I had to leave in 30 minutes. I sighed loudly, aware that this little problem wasn’t going away on its own. It was already almost painful. So, I went for round two and hoped that it got whatever the fuck this was out of my system.
Twenty minutes later I was a sweaty mess, standing in front of a fan trying to cool off after having one of the most intense orgasms I can recall having from masturbating. Then again, I had probably been too high in the past to remember the majority of them, so that didn’t say much. Once my heart rate calmed down, I moved to the bathroom and grabbed a towel to dry myself off some. I didn’t have time for a shower, so I threw on some more deodorant and cologne and hoped for the best. At least my hair still looked decent.
I somehow made it to the dance studio a few minutes early. I sat in the car waiting for Kat. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes, feeling strangely calm and focused. I hoped I could maintain this mood for the rest of the evening - the rest of the week even. I just needed time to desensitize myself to the intimacy and close proximity that we were being forced into this week. Once I did that, I would be able to handle anything. I had to.
I was startled from my thoughts by Kat opening the passenger side door. She laughed loudly over my reaction and it was the most beautiful sound. I could listen to her laugh all day. Then I took in what she was wearing, a simple knee length black dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen, and she wasn’t even showing that much skin.
I appreciated that she thought to warn me about the bar during the drive to the club. Most people wouldn’t have considered that. I figured there would be alcohol and other substances floating around, but oddly enough, those things were not even on my radar. I wasn’t lying to her when I said it was a non-issue because I would be distracted. I just fibbed about what my distraction would be. My thoughts were only of her, and I knew they would be for the rest of the night.
The club was as expected, the same as any other. Kat wasted no time pulling me onto the dance floor. I was hesitant at first, worried about the possible involuntary reactions my dick might decide to have. Any hesitation I had dissipated when Kat grabbed my face and forced me to focus on her. There was something familiar about the way she was looking at me that I couldn’t place as she urged me to become one with her and the music - to relax and trust her. It drew me in, igniting that connection that we shared. The connection that I had been fighting so hard this week. After that, I was surprised to find that my worries ended up being a non-issue. I had to laugh to myself, realizing the only thing I had been needing to do was beat little Bravo into submission, for tonight at least.
The longer we danced, the more at ease I became. It felt like we were just two friends having a good time together. It seemed a little flirty, but that was the general atmosphere, and it came with this type of dancing. I knew that and tried not to dwell on it much. When Kat broke away and suggested a water break, I noticed she had an odd look on her face. I wanted to ask if something was wrong, but decided not to, figuring she was probably just tired. She had been going all day after all. She offered to go grab us some bottles of water. She didn’t have to say it, but I knew she was making an effort to keep me away from the bar, which I appreciated. The last thing I needed was to be photographed near one.
I was surprised when a few fans approached and asked for pictures while I waited for Kat to return. In the past, I had been kind of an asshole to fans, and I knew it. So, I tried to make it a good experience for them. They seemed just excited to see Kat when she joined us. They had actually been fun to talk to and it ended up being a humbling reminder that they were the reason I had the life that I did. It made me appreciate my choice to get sober even more.
Once Kat and I got back on the dance floor, I could feel something shifting between us. She had that familiar look on her face again and it was stirring something inside of me. After a few songs, it finally hit me. It was the same look she had in the video I had watched of her and Alec dancing. She never had it with any of her other partners from what I had seen.
This realization sent my mind spiraling. Now that I had picked up on it, I couldn’t stop looking at her eyes. There was fire blazing in them as she looked back at me, but there was something else there too. Conflict? Confusion? The intensity of it only seemed to increase the longer we went on. I could feel the air crackling between us so strongly that it was making me dizzy. I was almost afraid to think about it, but my gut told me that she was feeling something for me too.
When I playfully dipped her backward, I couldn’t help admiring her neck as her hair slid off it. For the first time, I dared to wonder what it would be like to kiss her there. As I pulled her upward, our eyes locked. I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. She rested her forehead against mine as her hand gently caressed my cheek. I could feel her hot breath blowing over my lips as we lingered there. I really thought she was going to kiss me, until she suddenly turned to walk away. I didn’t want to let go, allowing my hands to trail down her body as she moved toward the edge of the dance floor. What the fuck just happened?
And just like that, the spell was broken. When she turned back toward me, she was smiling, but her eyes were guarded, and the fire was nearly extinguished. It wasn’t completely gone though, I could still see it simmering under whatever composure she thought she had gained. I gave her a big smile, relishing my new discovery.
I wasn’t surprised when she suggested we leave after that. The atmosphere of this place was chipping away at the thin wall that both of us had put up. If we stayed, that wall was going to crumble, fast.
I didn’t hesitate to take her hand as she led us out of the club. I was having sort of a “fuck it” moment and throwing caution to the wind when it came to touching her. I wasn’t even sure if I could stop myself at this point. We took a minute to take some selfies with fans on our way out. I kept at least one hand on her throughout that. The whole ride back to the studio I did manage to restrain myself since I had no reason to touch her while I was driving. I wanted more than anything to take her hand or rest mine on her thigh. I was dumbfounded by this sudden urge. It wasn’t one that I had before. I usually shied away from any type of physical touch unless I was having sex with someone. Even then, it wasn’t affectionate. It was for pleasure. Affection just wasn’t something I had had a lot of in my life and it wasn’t something I ever wanted. Until now.
When we got back to the studio and found Alec waiting outside, my stomach dropped. I had a really bad feeling about leaving Kat alone with him because he looked angry and a little inebriated. When she told me to go inside, I hesitated, but felt like I couldn’t just stand there. So, I went inside and got changed, realizing that I had left my sneakers in the car when I didn’t find them in my gym bag. At least I had a good excuse to go outside and make sure she was OK.
As I walked out the front entrance, my eyes immediately sought Kat out. My gaze found her just as Alec shoved her against the wall, causing her head to smack against the brick. I didn’t hesitate to go to her and shove him out of the way. I had never wanted to cause harm to someone so much in my life. It was taking everything in me not to crush his fucking face in with my bare hands, but Kat came first, and I needed to make sure she was unharmed. I’m sure my attentiveness to her only pissed Alec off further, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to bow down to his ego anymore.
I decided to try and diffuse the situation, for Kat’s sake, but that didn’t go as planned. I couldn’t say I was really surprised that Alec tried to hit me. I saw the look in his eyes and the way his hand balled up before he threw the punch. I was surprised by my reaction to it though. I’m pretty sure I closed my eyes as I flinched away from his fist, but somehow still managed to hit him pretty damn hard right in the nose. Hard enough that my hand was burning afterward. The satisfaction that I got from seeing his busted up face was well worth it.
When Alec called out for Kat to leave with him, I could feel every muscle in my body tense. There was no way I was letting her go. I couldn’t. I would hit him again before I let that happen. I was relieved when he didn’t try to fight it and left without further issue. As soon as he was safely out of our vicinity, I pulled Kat into a tight hug. I needed to check her over again - make sure she was really OK. Of course, she brushed away my concern in place of her own as she looked over my hand.
I realized she needed something else to focus on so that she didn’t fall apart. So, I let her take care of me. It didn’t stop me from looking her over again as she dug through the first aid kit. I could see her hands trembling as she rummaged around for supplies. Physically she seemed fine, but I knew her emotions were all over the place. I could tell she was in a fragile state, and it was breaking my heart. For the first time I noticed that this sweet and beautiful person was so fucking broken on the inside. She had done well to hide it, but the cracks were there, and I was finally seeing them. I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better and keep her safe. I wanted her to be mine and I wanted to take care of her the way she deserved.
I knew it was a bad idea to put my feelings out into the world right now, so I didn’t. I did, however, want her to know that I was here for her and that I was willing to help in any way she needed. It was all I could offer, but it seemed to be enough. For now. Even though I didn’t tell her how I felt about her, I did share what I thought about Alec. I could only hope she would consider my words and make the right choice for her own well being. I had already decided that I would be there for her through it, no matter what, I just hoped she would let me.
I spent all night tossing and turning, worried about whether Kat was safe. She had texted that she got home safely and was locked in, but that didn’t do anything to relieve my anxiety. I was up before my alarm went off the next morning, in a rush to get to the studio just so I could lay eyes on her. Then I realized me getting there sooner didn’t mean she would get there sooner. I grabbed my phone, found her name in my contacts, and typed out a quick text.
Me: Want me to pick you up some breakfast with your coffee? Muffin? Cheese Danish? Kit Kat? 😏 (smirk emoji).
It was my sneaky ass way of making sure she was OK without asking.
Kat: Again, I will never turn down food. Surprise me. No Kit Kats though. I’m banning them from the studio.
I chuckled. It seemed like she was back to her normal snarky self.
Me: ☹️☹️☹️ (three frowny face emojis)
Kat: OK. Fine. Just don’t let me SEE you eating them.
Kat: And Dieter…
Me: Yeah?
Kat: I’m OK. You could have just asked. Thank you though. 💜 (heart emoji)
Well, damn. She was onto me. Not that I minded. I kind of loved that she knew me well enough to know what I was up to.
Me: I didn’t want to be annoying about it. I’m happy you’re OK though. I was worried. Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep tonight…I’ll see you soon.
I hesitated before I hit send on that reply, but I wanted her to know how concerned I was and that I actually cared. At this point, I felt like I was mentally getting out a hammer and chisel, chipping away tiny pieces of wall between us. I wasn’t going to be able to keep all this in forever. Hell, before it’s over, I may end up busting through, Kool-Aid man style.
Once I gathered everything I needed for the day, I headed to the coffee shop, getting there in record time. I got Kat’s usual coffee order and added a blueberry scone. I was antsy, wanting to get the studio as soon as possible. I still needed to see her, to be sure. I knew the tightness in my chest wasn’t going to go away until I did.
I arrived at the studio twenty minutes early. I was surprised when I spotted Kat’s car in its usual spot. The space beside it was open, so I pulled in. Knowing it would be easier for me to keep an eye on things as we left later. My arms were full causing me to struggle to get inside the main entrance, but I managed without dropping anything. Kat laughed at my exasperated face once she noticed me trying to open the heavy studio doors. She ran over to help, giving me a warm smile as she took the drinks and food from my hands.
Kat sat everything down on a few chairs at the back of the room. I followed behind, eyeing her. I was relieved to see that she did seem to be OK, that was until she reached up to tie her hair back. After she finished, the wide neck of her top slid off of her shoulder, revealing bruises. I could feel my jaw tightening as I reached out to touch them.
Kat’s brow furrowed at my expression before looking down to where my fingertips softly grazed her discolored skin. She sighed, taking my hand in hers as she peered up at me, “I told you, I’m fine. I didn’t even notice it.”
I shook my head, feeling the rage simmering, then pulled her into a tight hug. “Please tell me you’re done with him,” I said into the top of her hair.
She hugged me around the waist, burying her face in my chest for a moment before she pulled back, inhaling a deep breath, “I had a ton of messages and missed calls from him when I got home last night. All full of apologies…he knows he fucked up.”
I tensed, not liking how this sounded.
“I texted him back…not ending things, but I did ask for space. I have a lot to think about and I can’t do that with him talking at me.”
I was hopeful that she would see what an asshole he was. She had to. She couldn’t continue like this.
“How are you feeling about things this morning?” I asked.
She gave me an apprehensive look.
“You know what, it’s not my business. I shouldn’t be asking.” I said before she could respond, suddenly feeling like I was prying. I didn’t want to do that. I moved to turn away from her, but then I felt her hand on my arm, “No, really…it’s OK. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Nobody knows about that side of him.”
She sighed, sat down, then ran her hands down her face. “Honestly, I’m just kind of numb. I really don’t feel anything. I should at least be angry, right? Is that bad?”
I sat down beside her. She reached for my injured hand and started rubbing her fingers over the knuckles with a lost look in her eyes. I watched her for a moment before I responded.
“Honestly, I think maybe you feel that way because you're avoiding dealing with it. Compartmentalizing it maybe? But I get the feeling it’s reaching a point where you can’t do that anymore.”
She pursed her lips and nodded. “I think maybe you might be right.”
Her eyes met mine with a sad smile on her lips, “The film crew will be here soon. I should try to cover this up. I don’t wanna give them gossip on a silver platter.”
She turned and reached for her gym bag, pulling out a smaller pouch full of makeup. I watched as she dabbed green, yellow, and purple color correctors on my knuckles then covered it with concealer, finishing with a setting spray. The discoloration and bruising were hardly noticeable now.
“Hopefully that will last long enough to get us through filming today. I’ll try to be careful and not rub it off while we’re dancing,” she said. Now turning her attention to the noticeable bruise on her shoulder. She started working to cover that as well, but struggled, not really able to see what she was doing. I reached out my hand, “Here, let me do that for you.” She sighed, but relented and handed me the color corrector palette she was holding.
I could feel her eyes on my face as I worked. My cheeks heated under her gaze as my heart pounded away in my chest. The static was crackling between us again, causing a few more chips to fall away from the wall between us. The moment felt incredibly intimate, and it only made me crave more. Once I was finished, she quietly thanked me and packed everything away out of sight.
We sat enjoying our coffee and breakfast as the camera crew started filing in with their equipment. A couple of the crew members got us mic'd up and started the interview right away while everything else was set up. Of course, they had questions about the sightings of us at the Latin club. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. Luckily, Kat handled those questions perfectly. I know I would have stumbled my way through them in a way that probably would have raised some eyebrows.
Overall, we were more relaxed during filming this week - actually laughing and having fun as we rehearsed. We had a moment where Kat accidentally kicked me in the shin while transitioning to a lift. I turned on the dramatics for it, whining and rubbing at the spot as if it had hurt badly. It really hadn’t, but I did enjoy getting her worked up over it. Once she realized I was messing with her, she lightly smacked my shoulder and called me a jerk before breaking into laughter. The crew got a good chuckle out of it, quickly catching onto my antics before Kat did. We pretty much had the routine down by the end of the day, which put us a little ahead of schedule. That took a lot of stress off us for the week, which I think helped with the playfulness between us.
The day was over before we knew it. Kat seemed to be in better spirits as she got into her car, smiling at me over the roof of it as she waved. Once she was safely on her way, I pulled out of the parking lot to head to the pet store…again. I had gone through several different brands of cat food over the last week. The Little Dude wasn’t having any of it. He only wanted Tuna. I found myself in the cat food aisle, staring at a wall of packages. They all looked the same to me. I sighed, feeling overwhelmed by the options and not knowing anything about cats. I finally settled on some meaty looking wet food and hoped for the best.
As soon as I got home, I found Little Dude waiting outside the sliding glass door in the kitchen. He was on a schedule now and wasn’t going to let me forget about it. I opened the door, allowing him to come sashaying into the kitchen to sit next to the island. Waiting and watching as I scooped some of the new canned food out onto a plate and presented it to him. He stood and tentatively sniffed the chunks, then took a few nibbles but decided against it. He sat back down and looked up at me, whipping his tail around.
“Still a no, huh?” I said to him. He meowed loudly back at me. I sighed heavily, “You know, considering you were on the streets not long ago, you’ve gotten awfully picky. I feel taken advantage of here…”
He meowed again. I rolled my eyes as I moved toward the pantry for another pouch of tuna. I tried mixing some of the juice in with the food and gave it back to him. He still wouldn’t touch it. So, I added a few chunks of tuna as a topping. He ate the tuna and left the rest of it, before plopping himself down on his haunches and staring at me for more.
I chuckled to myself, “I think I just became the bitch of a seven pound menace. Fine, Dude. You win. Here’s your damn tuna. We need to get this figured out though. I’m sure you're not getting all your nutrients from that.”
He meowed up at me happily as I added more tuna to the plate. Once he had his fill, he walked over and jumped up on the couch making himself at home. I scoffed, “Dude, come on. You smell like something out of Pet Semetary.” He had the audacity to start wallowing around on his back. I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the linen closet, pulling out a spare blanket. After moving back to the couch, I opened up the blanket and fluffed it out next to him. He wasted no time settling in, purring and making biscuits with his paws. I gave him some scratches behind the ears as he dozed off. It was clear to me now, this cat was obviously trying to move in. With a heavy sigh, I realized that I needed to get some cat stuff for the house if this was going to be a thing, but I wasn’t even sure where to start with that. It was just another thing to worry about, but I sort of didn’t mind. He was definitely growing on me, making the house feel less empty and me less alone.
Friday rehearsals went by in a blur. I arrived a few minutes early, finding Kat in the studio, ready to go. She seemed in good spirits as we joked through our morning coffee. Her twinkling laugh continued as we went through our stretch routine. I moaned and groaned through the torture while she bent my body to its limits, and I loved every fucking minute of it. I noticed that our new found comfort with each other had her leaning into me more. Her touches were more casual and relaxed. I couldn’t get enough of the feeling of her warmth against me or the brilliant smile on her face as she laughed at my ridiculousness. The hint of sadness that I noticed hidden in her eyes the last couple of days was nowhere in sight.
Once we moved into the routine, the air between us felt like it was crackling again. Heated glances and small smiles passed between us as we made it through the entirety of the dance several times without error. We were so in tune with each other now, dancing in silence as one. Moving effortlessly through the steps without any thought or hesitation from either of us. The world fell away at that moment. We could have been in the midst of a war zone, and I wouldn’t have noticed. All I saw was her. There was no question about it now, I definitely had feelings for her that were more than just physical attraction. I couldn’t keep denying it to myself.
Of course, Alec was technically still in the picture. Kat made a point to say that she hadn’t ended things with him. She had only asked for space. I was still determined not to put her in any type of compromising position. I had too much respect for her to do that, my own feelings be damned. I really needed to watch myself.
After a few hours, we finally took a break. I lay sprawled out on the floor, staring up at her as she drank from her water bottle. I could see the sweat running down her neck, disappearing in the hidden space between her breasts. I had to force my eyes upward to her face before little Bravo decided to wake up against my wishes.
When she finished, she turned to me, catching me staring. I didn’t even bother to look away. She gave me a shy smile as she sat down on the floor next to me.
“So, what are you up to this evening? More plant daddy responsibilities?”
I snorted, “Plant daddy? That’s one I haven’t heard before.”
Kat snickered before taking another sip of water.
“No, actually I need to go to the pet store…hey, do you know anything about cats?”
Her brow furrowed, “Is this some kind of weird joke that I’m about to walk into?”
I chuckled, “No, I’m serious. I’m talking about the feline kind. I’ve had this stray show up at my house and he won’t fucking leave. Somehow that’s turned into him becoming a roommate. I’m having issues finding food he’ll eat though. I also don’t know what sort of cat stuff I need if I bring him inside like he seems to want to do.”
She chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eye as she said, “So, you’re a cat daddy now, too?”
I shrugged with a smirk, “Yeah, I guess I’m trying to be.”
She had a look on her face that I couldn’t decipher before breaking into a smile.
“Yeah, I had cats growing up. They can be finicky and dramatic when it comes to food.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve picked up on that...What should I do? Can you give me a list of stuff I need to get? I’ve never had a pet, so I have no idea where to start.”
Her face softened, “You’re going to the pet store after you leave here?”
I nodded, curious what her tone meant. She paused before answering, seeming somewhat hesitant at first, “I could go with you if you want?”
I felt one side of my lips tug upward, “That would be amazing, actually.”
Kat was true to her word. Once we finished rehearsal, she followed me to the pet store. Parking in the space next to mine and smiling as she exited her car. As she walked toward me, I realized it made me feel strangely giddy to be doing something like this with her.
She hooked her arm with mine as we walked toward the entrance. I could feel warmth spreading in my chest at her casual touches. I had to fight the smile tugging at my lips.
“So, what is your fur child actually eating?” She asked.
I grimaced, “Well, up until like a week or so ago, I assume whatever he could catch and kill. Honestly, he smells like something out of that Pet Semetary movie…which reminds me…have you ever given a cat a bath?”
It was her turn to grimace, “Are you insane? Cats usually don’t like water. There are professionals that will do that for you, ya know?”
I shook my head, “This kid is not used to people. I fear he wouldn’t be able to handle a grooming salon. At least not yet…”
She sighed, giving me a serious wide-eyed stare, “Fine, I’ll help you give the cat a bath…but if I die…I’m haunting your ass.”
I belly laughed at her response as we entered the store, which seemed to draw some eyes toward us. I dropped my head and moved toward the first aisle as Kat got a shopping cart.
“A cart, huh? How much of my money are you about to spend?”
She chuckled, “Hey, I’m just making recommendations. You do what you will with them.”
She pointed things out as we moved down the aisles, some of it just for fun, some of it was needed. I ended up splurging on a couple of robotic litter boxes and cat cave beds, bathing supplies, toys, a ridiculously massive cat tree, and a collar all before getting to the food. She was relentless with her teasing about my need to buy the most expensive thing on the shelf. I loved it when she teased me like this. It caused her eyes to light up in a way that made my heart race.
Once we got to the food aisle, she again asked what the cat was currently eating.
“The only thing I’ve been successful with so far is Tuna. I’ve gotten several different kinds of cat food, and he just turns his nose up to them.”
She stood staring down the aisle with too many options, scrunching up her nose before speaking again. “OK, so he likes fishy stuff. Have you tried dry food or wet food?”
She is too fucking adorable when she makes that face. My brows arched at her, “Both.”
Her lips set into a line, “Did you try salmon flavored?”
I scoffed, “I’m pretty sure I tried every flavor they have. They were all a no.”
Her brow furrowed as she looked up and down the aisle, thinking. Her eyes finally settled on a freezer at the far end, “Maybe he would prefer something a little fresher since he’s a hunter?”
My eyes widened, “I hope you don’t mean like…live rats or something. I’m not doing that.”
She snorted, “Noooo. Ugh, no. I would never suggest that. I meant raw food.”
My eyes widened, “Ohhh. I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe…I’m willing to give it a try.”
We made our way down to the freezer and she picked out a raw salmon food. It was small scoopable frozen nuggets full of organic ingredients. It honestly sounded better than the other stuff I had bought. At least I could pronounce everything on the label. I felt confident this might do the trick. It figures I would end up with a cat that had a taste for the fancy stuff.
As we walked down the last couple of aisles, I circled back to the bath conversation, “Sooo, were you serious about helping give the Little Dude a bath?”
She nodded with a smirk, “Yes, I meant every word I said.”
I chuckled, “You wanna come over tomorrow evening for that? I can get everything set up for him tonight. I’ll let him formally move in after he’s bathed.”
She made an annoyed face, “Tomorrow is spray tan day.”
I puffed air out through my cheeks. “I could get some of those long dish washing gloves, then we won’t get wet…and maybe protect us from being clawed to death too.”
She snorted, “That sounds like a plan.”
“I’ll make dinner. I have a feeling I’ll owe you by the time this is over...”
One of her brows ticked upward, “I know I said I would never say no to food, but…you’re gonna cook?”
I placed my hand on my chest, feigning offense. “Excuse me? I happen to be a very good cook. It’s another new hobby I’ve picked up since rehab. My stuff is better than any five star restaurant.”
The sound of her twinkling laugh filled my ears. “Riiiight. I’ll believe it when I see it,” she said between laughs.
I rolled my eyes and gave her a playful smile, “Fine. Be prepared to stick your foot in your mouth.”
Kat chuckled as we approached the checkout counter. We were surprised when the young lady behind the counter nervously asked if she could take a picture with us. We of course agreed and snapped a quick group selfie with the girl. We made small talk with her as she rang up my items. I explained how I had a new visitor show up and Kat was kind enough to show me what all I needed to buy, suddenly worried the girl might get the wrong idea about why we were there together. I had a feeling this would show up on social media at some point.
Kat helped me load everything into the back of my car before giving me a small smile and asking to let her know how the new food goes over with the Little Dude. I thanked her again with a cheesy grin before we both got into our vehicles and headed to our respective homes.
It was a little after 9PM and I was deep into cat tree assembly when I received a text from Kat asking how dinner went. I pursed my lips as my fingers hovered over the keypad. Instead of typing out a message, I hit the video call button. I almost thought she was going to send me to voicemail, but she finally answered, her eyes wide as they jumped around the screen. It looked like she was lying in bed in a dimly lit room. Her hair fell around her face in damp waves, like maybe she had just showered. She looked beautiful. It took me a few seconds too long to find my voice.
“Hey, sorry, are you in bed?” I finally managed to sputter out.
She smiled, “I’m in bed, but not sleeping. Just watching trashy TV and doom scrolling. How did the new food go?”
I smiled at the screen, “Amazing. He devoured it…didn’t even hesitate.”
She smiled back at me, “Good. Happy to hear it. What is he up to now?”
I huffed out a laugh, “Laying at the end of the sectional, silently judging me over my struggles to put this damn cat tree together. I swear you have to be a fucking engineer to figure it out.”
I turned on the front camera of my phone to show her the cat, stretched out on his stinky blanket at the end of the couch as he gave me that judgy stare. She laughed loudly.
“Oooh he’s pretty! He does look very judgy right now though.”
I switched the camera back to me, “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Why are there so many parts?”
“Hey, you’re the one that had to get the biggest one they had in the store. Deal with the consequences. I told you that you should’ve just asked for the floor model that was already put together.”
“Ummm, no. I wasn’t about to buy something that’s had a million grubby little hands on it and who knows what else. Dude only gets the best…brand new out of the box.”
She rolled her eyes at me, “Did you try looking at the instructions? I know that’s hard for guys to do.”
I scoffed and rattled the paper in front of the camera, “Umm…excuse me? I have been looking at the instructions and they’re garbage. Do you SEE this? It’s literally really bad drawings with no words. I can’t tell the pieces apart. It’s bullshit.”
She let out a loud laugh at my dramatics, covering her mouth with her hand to try and hold it back. I loved seeing her like this. A small part of me wondered what it would be like to lay in bed with her, laughing at trashy TV shows while we were wrapped up in each other under the covers. I shook my head slightly to clear that thought.
“Is this your way of asking me to help you, without actually asking…out of fear of further judgment?”
I furrowed my brows and snorted, “I’m not afraid to ask. Judge me, I don’t care. I have no shame…but if you’re offering…”
“Send me a picture of the instructions. I’ll hold your hand through it.”
I rolled my eyes, “Oh yeah, thanks. You had to go and say it like that.”
I did send her the instructions and we spent the next hour and a half on facetime putting the cat tree together. She had my full attention every time she would pull up the drawings to look at them. Her face would scrunch up in the most adorable way as she tried to figure out the next steps. The only thing that could have made the day more perfect is if she had been here with me in person.
Once the tree was put together, we said goodnight. I noticed Kat lingered on the call for a moment before finally ending it. It caused my stomach to flip. I wished I knew what she was thinking. Is she feeling this too? Or am I just being delusional?
After getting Dude settled in the garage for the evening, I finally crawled into bed. I laid there thinking about what I should cook for dinner. I didn’t want to do anything too over the top, but I did want to impress her. Then I moved on to picturing her in my house, in my space. Us in my space together. It was almost overwhelming. Realizing how badly I wanted that almost scared me.
Sunday rehearsals flew by. We did the last of our fine tuning to the routine, running through it several times with the music track. We nailed it each time. The flirty aspect of the dance seemed to come to us easily now. There was no longer any lingering awkwardness between us. We were both comfortable and trusting of each other and having fun.
We ended up leaving rehearsals a little early to get over to Television City Studios for the cast spray tanning session. We were hoping to get finished quicker by getting there before everyone else. I also felt like Kat was trying to avoid Alec too, which gave me a surge of excitement. It gave me hope that she was possibly thinking about ending things with him for good.
After heading to our respective dressing rooms to get changed into our robes, we found each other again outside the large room used for the spray tan setup. To our surprise they were able to get us in quickly. Kat went in first, then they called me in several minutes later. After I was finished, I wandered back to my dressing room and changed into my gym shorts. I took a minute to dig around in my duffel bag for a t-shirt that I didn’t care for in case the spray tan rubbed off on it. There was no sense in ruining all of my shirts for this shit.
There was a quiet knock on the door, I moved to unlock and open it, assuming it was Kat. She stood there, eyes racking over me with a smirk on her face. I gave her a quick smile as I turned my attention back to my bag, “I’m almost ready…just trying to find a shirt that I don’t care to mess up.”
She came in and leaned against the countertop of the vanity, “No problem, take your time.” She sounded amused. I glanced up at her, she had her arms crossed over her chest as she watched me with one brow raised. “Is something funny?” I asked.
“Every time I come in here, you're half naked.”
I found the shirt I was looking for and pulled it out, standing to my full height to face her, “If that’s the case, why do you keep coming in here then?”
Her face reddened, “Touché. You got me there.”
I laughed, “Yeah, see how that works? I mean…it’s a dressing room. There’s bound to be various stages of undress happening. Don’t act so shocked. At least I have pants on this time.”
She rolled her eyes before looking away. I moved to put my shirt on, purposely taking my time to pull it down over my head. Just as I yanked it down over my face, I caught her eyes shifting away from me. She was definitely checking me out. I could see it in the flush of her cheeks. Well, that's interesting. Maybe she was feeling the spark between us just as much as I am. It doesn’t matter, Bravo. She’s technically still taken.
I turned to pile all of my junk back into my bag, pretending I hadn’t noticed her staring. She finally broke the silence, “So, what are you making me for dinner? I need to start preparing myself now if I’m to survive it.”
I scoffed, “Come on. Give me some credit. You should know by now that I excel in all my extracurricular activities.”
Her eyes widened briefly, a small smirk playing on her lips, “I won’t believe it until I have firsthand experience as proof.”
Are we still talking about cooking? I felt like this conversation had a double meaning. I gave her a cocky grin, “Then prepare yourself for the most…pleasurable…food experience of your life.”
She snorted out a laugh as she moved toward the door, “Right. We’ll see.” I grabbed my bag and followed behind her. Within minutes, I was in my car, driving toward my house with Kat following behind me. I tried not to think of what the evening held, but I knew I needed to behave myself. I had to keep reminding myself that I couldn’t cross any lines with her, no matter how badly I now realized I wanted to.
A short time later, I was keying into my front door with Kat standing close behind me, taking in her surroundings. I was suddenly nervous for her to see my home. It made me feel naked in a different kind of way that I wasn’t prepared for. She would be seeing pieces of me that no one outside of my very small inner circle had. I would be opening myself up to her in a very raw and unfiltered way and I worried she wouldn’t like what she found.
We were both quiet as she entered the living room. There was a small smile playing on her lips as she slowly walked around the space, running her hands over things as she went. Stopping to look at books and little knick-knacks I had sitting around from my travels. My stomach quickly rose to my throat when she focused on the paintings hanging on the walls. There were several duotone abstract pieces I had painted throughout my early days of recovery - visual representations of where I was emotionally at the time I painted them. I had hung them to remind myself of my progress. She spent a lot more time looking at these than anything else, raising her hand to touch the one closest to her.
“These are amazing,” she said quietly, almost to herself.
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I watched her fingers drop down to the rounded DB initials in the bottom right corner. Her eyes suddenly widening as realization set in. She turned to me, her face now lit up in a way I had never seen. Her eyes were sparkling with wonder as she peered up at me. “Dieter…d-did you paint these?”
I nodded shyly. I couldn’t speak, afraid that my emotions would reveal themselves to her. It meant more to me than I expected that she liked them. Now realizing that her opinion was the only one that ever really mattered to me.
She smiled, “Well…I guess you do seem to excel in your extracurriculars. I can’t wait to see what else you have up your sleeve.”
I smirked at her, swiping my thumb across my lip before speaking. “Hmm, well…I’ll have your mouth watering within the hour. You wanna help me get started?”
One of her brows twitched upward, “I’d be happy to.”
I led her to the kitchen and began pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator and pantry. She stood nearby, taking everything in.
“I’m actually a little jealous of your kitchen. This is nice and so are all your gadgets.”
I chuckled, “I do spend a lot of time in here. A fancy kitchen was one of my requirements when I moved.”
She nodded, then pointed at the speaker on the counter. “Do you usually play music while you cook?”
“Yeah, you wanna turn something on?”
“Sure, it’s almost too quiet in here. I like a little background noise.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up the music streaming app - hitting play on whatever playlist was already queued up. A soulful blues song started emitting from the speaker. Kat smiled and nodded in approval. I went back to pulling out the rest of the ingredients, piling everything that needed chopping near the cutting board on the island then grabbed two knives from the drawer.
“Can you handle chopping the veggies? It’ll make this go a lot faster.”
She nodded, then took one of the knives and got to work chopping the mushrooms that I sat in front of her. We worked side-by-side in silence for a few minutes. My mind wandered to thoughts of how domesticated this felt. I liked it…too much.
My attention was suddenly drawn back to Kat as her hips started moving to the rhythm of the music. Fuck, that’s distracting. I placed my hand on the small of her back, causing her to pause and look up at me, “You’re gonna chop a finger off moving around like that.”
The side of her lip tugged upward as she peered at me through her lashes, “Don’t worry…I’m a pro at my extracurriculars too. I can do a lotta things with my hands while my hips are moving.”
I sucked in a sharp breath at her words, my mind started running through all the possibilities behind them and none of it was wholesome. I finally managed to choke out a laugh, before going back to chopping the celery I had started on. Kat continued moving to the music beside me, humming along with the chorus. Fucking hell, I’m gonna chop my own finger off if I don’t watch it. The next song started playing. I was too distracted by Kat’s rolling hips and my thoughts that I didn’t realize what it was until the chorus hit.
Fuck me like you mean it / Make me believe it / Walk the wire, it's alright / Love me like you need it / 'Cause I can feel it / Take it higher, show me why
The knife in my hand clattered down onto the cutting board, I was slightly mortified.
Kat’s movements paused, “Well, I didn’t see that coming…that's a little dirty...” She snickered.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize what song this was…. I’ll change it.”
Kat placed her hand on my forearm as I turned to grab my phone, “No, I actually kind of like his sound. Leave it.”
Her hip movements continued as I switched to chopping the carrots and her the tomatoes. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. I stood there willing my dick not to get hard. Luckily, I got through the carrots quickly, and took the opportunity to turn my back to her. Moving on to peel and cut an onion under the cold water from the faucet. Which is probably just as well, because another song by the same artist came on that was sending my mind straight to the gutter. It felt like a playlist straight from my debauched thoughts.
Hypnotic lover taking over my mind / Your spell is binding, makes it so hard to fight / She twists her hips and keeps it coming all night / I can't control myself, that girl is so fine
Thankfully we finished with all the vegetable cutting soon after that. I moved on to preparing the pork and getting the frying pan and oil up to temperature. I was happy to have something that required my focus. Kat appeared, leaning against the counter next to the stove, watching me intently.
“So, are you ever gonna tell me what you’re cooking?”
I smirked, “Pork cacciatore.”
She gave me a deadpan stare, “You do know I’m a vegetarian, right?”
I was briefly hit with a streak of panic, before I realized she was messing with me. She had eaten a steak burrito in front of me, twice. I let out a dramatic sigh then smiled, “I guess I’ll be eating alone then. Oh well, more for me.”
She laughed as she playfully smacked my shoulder. I moved in front of her, placing my hand on her hip to scoot her out of the way as I reached above her head to get into the cabinet that housed all the spices. I muttered a quiet “excuse me” as I glanced down at her eyes that were looking up at me through her lashes. She didn’t really move. Instead, she stayed pinned between me and the counter. I could hear the faint sound of her breath hitching at my proximity. I smirked, then turned my attention back to the cabinet, pulling out the dried rosemary, oregano, and basil before finally removing my hand from her hip and stepping back to the stove. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time.
As I started mixing in all the ingredients to simmer, she leaned down on her elbows and inhaled deeply, “Mmm…you were right. My mouth is watering. This smells amazing.”
I gave her a cocky smile, “I told you….and it tastes better than it smells. It’s like an orgasm for your taste buds.”
Shit. I probably shouldn’t have said that. My mouth got ahead of my brain. Her tinkling laugh filled my ears, “That’s a lot of confidence you’ve got in your cooking skills, Bravo.”
I shrugged, “I promised you a pleasurable experience. I’m just delivering on my word.”
Fucking hell, I’m being ridiculous and getting out of line. Reel it in, Bravo!
She didn’t seem phased by my comments, if anything it felt like she was enjoying the banter.
We soon sat down at the dinner table, which I couldn’t recall ever actually sitting at to eat. Kat proceeded to moan through several bites and gush about how delicious it was. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. It made me feel almost giddy that she enjoyed it. Our conversation flowed easily, as we talked about different things. Getting to know each other a little more and slowly chipping away at that imaginary wall that separated us.
“I’m just gonna start coming over here for dinner every night. My cooking can’t compete with this,” she finally said with a joking tone as she scooped that last bite off her plate.
I gave her a toothy grin, “I’ll cook for you anytime you want me to.”
She laughed, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
I laughed it off, but she had no idea how fucking serious I was. I would cook for her every night of forever if she’d let me.
After several minutes of Kat fussing over helping with the dishes, I finally convinced her to let it be. I had a housekeeper that would take care of it in the morning, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal. We decided to take our chances by giving the Little Dude a bath after that. I led her out to the garage which was still a mess with boxes, but Dude didn’t seem to mind it. He had turned it into his own personal playground.
I had set up everything we would need for a bath next to the utility sink so we could get right to it. Kat grabbed one of the towels and laid it out on the counter and got the brushes ready, saying we should brush out all the mats first. As she was explaining the steps we should take, Little Dude decided to make his presence known. He came strutting out from somewhere in his box fort to meow out me. He then proceeded to rub up against Kat’s legs. She giggled at him, bending down to pick him up.
“Ooof, he is rank,” she said through a chuckle.
“I told you. I swear he rolled in something dead.”
She grimaced, moving him away from her body to sit him on the counter.
“He’s really pretty though. He seems young. Have you taken him to the vet yet?”
“Not yet. I’m working up to it. I didn’t wanna stress him out too much all at once…though…he seems strangely fine with everything. He’s the one that wants to move in,” I said - laughing quietly to myself over the absurdity of it.
Kat began to look him over, “He has some pretty bad mats under his arms, we may have to cut those. Do you have scissors? They aren’t too close to the skin, so I think I can cut them easily enough.”
“Uhh, yeah. I have a whole clipper kit with scissors. I’ll go get it.”
I ran to get the kit and was back within minutes to find Little Dude sprawled out on his back while Kat brushed at the hair on his stomach. He seemed to love the attention. I stood next to Kat, keeping him distracted with pets while she worked. She ended up cutting a lot of the mats out just to save time. After several minutes had passed, she turned to me, a concerned look on her face.
“What? Is something wrong?” I asked.
“I would say so. We have a major problem here.”
My stomach was suddenly in my throat. My mind now conjuring up the worst things, “What is it?”
She fought to hold back a laugh, “Dude is not a dude.”
My brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”
She snorted, “There is no twig and berries down there. Dude is a Dudette.”
“Seriously? You’re joking?”
“Nope. Did you even check?”
“Do you see how much hair she has? I was just guessing. I couldn’t tell. It makes sense why she wouldn’t leave though…chics do love me.”
Kat snorted again, “Staaap. You’re so ridiculous.”
I chuckled, “At least now I know why I was getting the judgy looks.”
“Well, now you need to give her a proper name. Something cute…that is not Dudette.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to think about it. Damn.”
After a brief pause to laugh about our discovery. We continued. Luckily the cat’s top half wasn’t as bad, so Kat made quick work of it. Then we took a minute to prepare ourselves for the chaos of the bath. Strategizing on the best way to handle it if she freaked out. It turns out, we didn’t even need to do that. The cat apparently loved water, which blew our minds. She sat still, enjoying the massage we gave her as we worked the shampoo into her fur. She nearly fell asleep as I used the spray head to rinse her, occasionally pointing the stream in Kat’s direction just to be obnoxious. After reminding me that we had just gotten a spray tan, I stopped. She said I wouldn’t be able to endure her wrath if I made her streaky.
Once we got the Little Dudette clean and dry, I picked her up and brought her inside. I took a minute to show her where the litter boxes were, her beds, and her new cat tree. I sat her at the top of the cat tree, and she immediately began exploring it. Kat and I watched her for a few minutes, before Kat looked around the room.
“Hmmm…the plants could be an issue. I know some are poisonous to cats.” ��
My eyes widened. I hadn’t even thought about that. Damn I already suck at this cat dad stuff.
Kat pulled out her phone and found a list of toxic plants and let me look over it. I sucked air through my teeth, then moved to pick up the Aloe plant sitting on the end table, “Sorry Barb. Looks like you’re gonna be banished to the art studio.” I handed it to Kat, “Please hold Barb for a moment.”
She started laughing at me. I turned to grab the Cutleaf Philodendron that was sitting in the dining room. “You’re out too, Cutlet,” I said as I picked up the medium sized tropical plant.
“Follow me. We’ll put these away in another room.”
As we made our way through the house, I grabbed another Aloe plant that was sitting on a bookshelf. “Sorry, you’re out too, Spike.”
I could hear Kat snickering behind me as we ascended the stairs. Once we reached the door to my studio, I juggled the plants in my arms to turn the knob. I suddenly felt nervous for Kat to be in the space, but tried not to dwell on it as I pushed the door open with my foot. She followed me inside and set Barb down on the window sill next to Spike. I set Cutlet down on the desk. I’d have to find a spot for him later.
I could tell Kat wanted to explore the room, but she held back, shyly looking down at the ground instead. I was sure she could sense this was an extremely personal space for me and didn’t want to intrude.
“You can look around if you want.” I finally mustered up the courage to say. I trusted her enough to share this side of myself. Not many people got to see it.
Her eyes lit up with excitement, “Are you sure? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
I nodded and gave her a small smile. Standing back to watch as she walked around the room looking at the various paintings leaned against the walls. Her eyes roamed over every surface, pausing to spend extra time on the sketches spread out on the tables and desk.
I hadn’t spent any time in this room since rehearsals started. I hadn’t had the time, and when I did, I was too tired. However, I suddenly had that nagging need to. There were images swirling in my head that I needed to get out onto a canvas. I was shocked to find they were colorful shades of purple and blue with hints of magenta. There was no black in sight. I knew the cause of the shift, it was Kat. She was my new muse. Replacing the self-hatred and unhappiness with her light. I wanted to paint her dancing with the fire in her eyes. I wanted to sketch all of my favorite parts of her - her lips, her eyes, the curve of her hips.
Seeing her in my home and how easily she could fit into my life was making me want things I never thought I would. I wanted her to be part of everything. My other half. I wanted to share my existence with her. Then reality set in. She still belongs to someone else, Bravo. Stop thinking like this.
I shook my head to clear it as she looked my way with a smile. I tried to return it, but it didn’t reach my eyes. She walked toward me, “Dieter, all of this is amazing. I-I don’t have any words. You’re so talented.”
My brow furrowed, I was suddenly feeling emotional. I murmured a quiet “thanks” to her as she turned to look around the room one last time before turning back to me, “Would you paint something…for me? I would love to have one.”
I gave her a genuine smile now, “Of course. I think I already have an idea for something.”
Our gazes locked for a moment, something unsaid lingering between us, but it passed. I motioned toward the door, “Well, would you like a tour of the rest of the place? I have a feeling you might enjoy my other sanctuary.”
She gave me a quizzical look, “Lead the way. You have me intrigued now.”
I snickered as we walked into the hallway and closed the door behind us. I led Kat down the hall to the room where I did everything else - music, reading, writing. It really was my other sanctuary. It was a large open room with glass doors that opened to the balcony overlooking the ocean. The espresso colored hardwood was covered by a deep navy and maroon Persian area rug. Floor to ceiling shelves lined one cream colored wall, full of books and scripts. Two leather chairs sat in one corner with two acoustic guitars perched on stands between them. Several other guitars hung on the wall nearby. Another wall of shelves housed my record collection. The old record player stood next to it, connected to vintage floor speakers. An espresso colored wicker hanging chair with a white cushion hung from the ceiling in the corner near the record player. An extra large white furry beanbag sat nearby, with a few deep yellow throw pillows on it. There were plants everywhere - large potted ones sitting on the floor, vines hanging from the ceiling, small succulents scattered throughout the shelves. A small writing desk sat against the wall next to the balcony doors. The few open spaces on the wall were home to more of my paintings. The center of the room was completely open. Aside from my studio, it was my favorite place to be.
When I opened the door and motioned for Kat to enter, her face shifted. A hint of a smile ghosted her lips as her eyes rounded and sparkled. She stood in the center of the room turning in a slow circle, taking in the space.
“Dieter…you’re right. I love this. Everything about it is perfect.”
She walked over to one of the paintings, an abstract sunset of black, deep blue, red, and yellow. It was a more recent one, not as dark as the ones downstairs. Her fingers grazed over the DB scrawled in the bottom corner. One side of her lip turned upward once she realized it was another one of my paintings. She turned, moving back toward the center of the room and spun around with her arms out.
“This room is huge…big enough we could rehearse in here.”
My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, biting back a smile. I loved that the thought had crossed her mind. That she wanted to be in this space with me.
“We could. There’s a lot of open space. I left it like that so I could come in here and paint if I wanted. Depending on the time of day, the lighting can be better here than in the studio. Plus, I can open the doors and hear the ocean. It’s soothing.”
She nodded, a pensive look on her face as she continued looking around the room.
“I take it you probably didn’t expect all this, huh?”
She shook her head as her brows pinched together, “No, honestly. I’m not sure what I expected, but strangely enough, I’m not surprised. I know you're not shallow and emotionless like the tabloids often make you out to be.”
She was standing in front of me now, her eyes roaming my face. “I see you, Dieter. I know you feel things deeply…even if you don’t always admit to it. So, it doesn’t surprise me that this is how you spend your time. Us tortured souls have to get the feelings out somehow.”
I couldn’t breathe. The way she was looking at me literally took my breath away. I knew without a doubt that she meant what she said. She did understand me better than anyone ever had because we were the same in a lot of ways, but complete opposites in others. We balanced each other out and fit together in a way that filled in each other's gaps to make a whole. We were meant to find each other, I could feel it in my bones. If only she could see that and finally get rid of the disease in her life that was Alec.
Kat’s face turned almost wistful as she stared at me for a beat. Finally turning away and moving toward the leather chairs in the corner and sitting down. She turned, eyeing the acoustic guitars sitting next to her.
She pointed, “Are these for decoration or do you actually play?”
I shrugged, “I guess you can call it that…I had to learn for a role many years ago. It kind of stayed with me after that.”
She raised a brow in my direction as her hand slid around the neck of the nearest instrument, “Do you mind…” she asked, pausing for my response.
Curious where this was going, I shook my head. “No, I don’t. Have at it.”
The way she handled it told me this was something she was familiar with. I could hear the blood pumping in my ears from excitement at the thought that she might play something. I shuffled over to sit in the seat next to her and picked up the other instrument as her fingers slid over the strings, like she was getting a feel for it. I bit back the anxious feeling that was forming in my chest and started plucking at the strings on the guitar I had just picked up. Playing chords for the first song that came to mind.
Kat watched me for a moment. Her eyes narrowed at my hands, “I know this song…”
I smiled up at her as she hummed along for a few seconds, trying to place it. She surprised me when she started to sing along.
She's the place I go / When there's nowhere left to run to / She's the one I hold / When there's no one to hold on to
I was awed by her. Her voice was amazing - soulful, velvety, and pure. She was so fucking beautiful it hurt. The moment caused something to swell inside of me, making me emotional. I had to take a deep breath to fight it back as I watched her place her fingers on the frets and start strumming along with me. She continued singing the chorus. Without thinking, I joined in, which elicited a brilliant smile from her.
She's been with me late at night / When I was drowning in the dark / She heard my every word / When I was pouring out my heart / So I thank my lucky stars / For every crack, scratch, and scar on this guitar
Our voices harmonized together perfectly, causing goosebumps to break out across my body. I suddenly felt connected to her in a way that I hadn’t before. I picked up the next verse as she continued playing with me.
She's given me her best / When I am at my worst / When I can't find the pieces / Fingers scratching in the dirt / She offers no forgiveness / 'Cause she likes to make it hurt
Her eyes stayed on mine. I could see the fire blazing in them again. I couldn’t help smiling as the words passed through my lips. She returned it as she joined back in for the chorus. We finished the reminder of the song with a flourish, breaking into laughter when it was done.
Once the laughter settled, I finally asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you played? And can sing for that matter?”
She shrugged, “It’s not really something I do a lot of anymore…Not since my dad passed. He taught me to play when I was younger…before things got bad with him. We picked it up again after he was sober.”
A sad smile formed on her lips, “He had a few friends he would play with on the weekends…pickin' and grinnin' is what they called it. Just a bunch of friends and their families hanging out in someone's backyard, having fun. I learned a lot from them.”
I had a sudden urge to hug her, but then the sparkle from that damn engagement ring on her finger caught my attention for the first time that evening. It was a stark contrast against the black bout of the guitar, silently screaming a reminder that she was still with the asshole. It broke through the delusional thoughts that had started to swirl around in my head the last few minutes.
I cleared my throat, “Well, you’re really good. I didn’t see that coming.”
She gave me a genuine smile now, “You’re not so bad yourself. Still excelling in all areas apparently.”
I had the sudden need to be away from her. I was feeling overwhelmed by my conflicting feelings. I glanced down at my watch, “Hmm…it’s getting late. We should probably call it a night. I don’t wanna be your excuse for being tired tomorrow.” I let out a nervous laugh.
She looked at her watch, “Oh damn. Yeah, it is…and I still have a 30 minute drive home.”
An awkward tension settled in the air as I placed the guitars back on their stands. We walked in silence down the stairs. Kat took a minute to give the kitty some scratches before collecting her purse and phone to leave. I asked her to let me know when she made it home as she leaned in for a side hug.
“I will…and thanks for dinner. It was amazing.”
When she pulled away, her hand lingered at my waist. She smiled before finally turning to walk toward her car. I kept an eye on her until she was locked inside and backing out of the driveway. This was getting to be too fucking hard.
I sighed, walking through the house to turn everything off and lock up for the night. The cat followed behind me every step of the way. Once I got settled in the bed, I felt her jump onto the mattress. She tentatively walked over and climbed up on my chest, purring into my hand as I scratched behind her ears.
“Maybe you're meant to be the only woman in my life. I should probably accept that and move on.”
Her eyes drooped under my touch. A quiet meow squeaked out in response. “I guess I should give you a proper name now, because Dude is not gonna cut it.”
I thought for a minute. A plant name might be cute, right? “How about poppy? Ehh, no. That might raise some eyebrows given who your dad is. Let’s avoid drug references…”
I laughed to myself. It was so ridiculous that I had to think about stuff like that.
“Hmm, how about Rosie? Na…that’s too girly. You’re kind of a bad ass critter catcher.”
She meowed loudly, almost like she was agreeing with me. I chuckled. “I’ve got it. Zinnia. Zee for short. That’s cool, right?”
She was asleep now. She could have cared less. “Zee it is. Zee my little warrior queen.”
I got a text from Kat a few minutes later, letting me know she got home. I sent her a thumbs up emoji then set the phone on its docking station for the night. I somehow managed to drift off to sleep.
I was woken up about ten minutes before my alarm went off by Zee, making biscuits in the crook of my arm and purring. I couldn’t even be upset about it because it was too fucking cute. This cat was already making me melt and had me wrapped around her paw. I nuzzled my face into her fur, she smelled so much better. It was nice to finally have her properly clean so I could cuddle her without being grossed out. I don’t know why I fought against having her for so long. It felt nice to have another living being in the house with me.
I finally rolled out of bed and took a quick shower. It was show day, so I couldn’t be dicking around this morning. I threw on clean shorts and a t-shirt, then headed out. I stopped to get our usual cups of coffee before heading to Television City Studios. Kat and I were one of the first groups there, determined to get the rough run through out of the way.
Kat was already chatting with the band when I walked in and handed her coffee over. We went through the routine a few times to get the camera blocking out of the way and gave feedback on the music. The other couples had started to filter in by the time we were on our last run through. I could see Alec sitting, waiting for his and Lana’s turn. I hadn’t seen him since the incident, so I wasn’t sure what the damage was. His face was pretty bruised up around the nose and under the eyes. I had to hold back the satisfied smile that was tugging at my lips as we walked by him.
Kat did take a minute to add some makeup to my knuckles. They were still a little bruised. We didn’t want the cast to see it if we could help it. After she finished, we headed into hair and makeup to get slathered in more makeup and hair gel.
Kat and I were seated next to each other again. We chatted with each other while they worked on us. I told her what I decided to name the cat. She laughed at first but wasn’t at all surprised that it was the name of a plant. She finally relented, admitting that it was cute and giving her seal of approval.
About 30 minutes after sitting down in the makeup chair, Anika approached me. She had a shy, but flirty smile on her face as she leaned against the vanity in front of my seat and purred out a “good morning.”
I smiled at her awkwardly, unsure of what was happening. Anika glanced toward Kat, then turned so that her back was toward her.
“What are you doing after the show tonight?” she finally asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t know yet. I suppose it depends on how tired I am.”
She laughed like I had just told the most hilarious joke. I now realized what was happening. Fucking hell. Please don’t do it.
Her hand rested on my knee, “How about we go out for drinks after? Maybe we can hang out for a bit.” She gave a suggestive squeeze with her fingers as she spoke.
I could tell from my reflection that I had the deer in headlights look. My brain completely shut down. I was not interested in the least. “Umm, I dunno. I really need to get home…and feed my cat.”
“Oh, come on, just one drink. You can do that after.”
It was Kat who responded with an agitated tone, “You do realize he’s sober, right?”
Anika looked surprised, then laughed nervously. “Well in that case, you can just watch me drink. You don’t have to have anything with alcohol.”
I sat there with my mouth agape, not really sure how to respond to that. I couldn’t stop anyone from drinking around me, but damn. If she was trying to win me over, that was not the way to do it.
“Are you a fucking idiot? He’s sober. He doesn’t wanna be around alcohol.” Kat was having none of this from her.
Anika huffed, “I don’t think I asked you, Katarina. Mind your business. Shouldn’t you be worried about what your own man is up to?”
I realized the ladies that had been doing our hair and makeup had stepped back. Kat looked like she was about to come up out of her seat after this girl. I cleared my throat, “Ummm thanks for the offer, Anika…but I think I’ll pass. Maybe another time?” I said nervously.
She gave me a disappointed look before flipping Kat off and walking out of the room.
Kat puffed air out of her cheeks, “Ugh, I fucking hate that girl.”
The ladies who were working on us snickered before continuing with their task.
I glanced over at Kat, “Thank you for that. I wasn’t really sure how to handle it.”
“Well, you better figure it out, because I’m sure she’s not done asking. Unless you wanna go out with her, of course.” Her tone was very clipped, and I wasn’t sure why. It surprised me. Did I do something wrong?
Kat was quieter after that, seemingly lost in her thoughts. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. It was making me feel off. I was happy when hair and makeup had finished with me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I made a beeline for my dressing room to get changed into my costume. I didn’t hear from Kat for a while, assuming they had dress rehearsals for the group performances.
While I waited, I texted my assistant and asked him to bring me some brunch to pass the time. It was a little early for lunch, but I was already starving. A few minutes after he dropped off the food, I got a text from Kat, asking where I was.
Me: In my dressing room. I have 🌯🌯🌯. (three burrito emojis)
It wasn’t even a full minute before there was a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I managed to garble out through a mouth full of steak goodness. Kat pushed the door open, standing there with a disapproving look and her hands on her hips.
“You're hiding away to eat burritos? Really?”
My ability to speak left me as soon as I laid eyes on her. The only response I could muster was to hold out the extra burrito I had gotten for her. She looked fucking amazing in her costume. The hem was asymmetrical, showing off her toned legs. The shorter side revealed her entire right thigh. The front was lower cut than I had expected, showing the curve of her breast. From the sketches, I knew the back was non-existent. There was only enough of the fringy fabric to cover her ass. They had left her chestnut hair half down this time. The front of it was pinned back leaving the soft curls cascading down around her bare shoulders. The red shade of the dress, if you could even call it that, looked amazing against her golden skin and made her red lips pop. All of the exposed flesh definitely had little Bravo’s attention. It took everything in me to refocus my thoughts and get him under control.
She raised a questioning brow at me, a smirk forming on her lips as she took the burrito, “You OK, Bravo?”
I nodded as I swallowed down the food I had been chewing even though I wasn’t ready, nearly getting choked in the process. I coughed uncontrollably for a moment, then reached for my drink. I ended up dropping burrito juices on the robe I had put on over my costume.
Kat laughed, “Good thing you put the robe on. I wouldn’t want to explain that mess to the costumers or producers.”
After taking a long drink through the straw, I managed to get myself together enough to respond, “No kidding. I have an extra one hanging over there if you wanna use it while you eat. I know these are messy.”
“Why yes, I think I will. Thank you.”
Whatever had been bothering her earlier seemed to have passed. She was back to her normal smiley self as we rushed through our meal. It helped me feel a little more at ease and out of my head. Once I was finished with my burrito, I pulled the robe off, checking to make sure I hadn’t gotten anything on the costume. I turned to ask Kat if she saw any evidence left behind. I didn’t miss how her eyes looked me up and down before focusing on my shirt.
I couldn’t help teasing her, “You see something you like, Kit Kat?”
She narrowed her eyes at me, “I was just getting a look at your costume. I hadn’t seen it on you yet.”
I stood back, pulled the blazer open, and did a little spin for her, “You like?”
“Oddly enough…yes. The 70’s vibe suits you. I can’t believe you have it buttoned all the way up though. I was beginning to think you had a button allergy.”
I gave her a cocky grin, “If you wanna see a little more skin, just ask honey. I guess I probably should show a little more, in solidarity with you.”
She rolled her eyes before taking her last bite. I turned to the mirror and undid the top few buttons. I could see her watching me in the reflection, shaking her head with a smirk on her face. A few minutes later, we headed toward the ballroom for our final dress rehearsal. As we stood on the outer perimeter of the dance floor, Alec and Lana came to stand behind us to wait their turn. Kat seemed to be ignoring them, which was surprising. I couldn’t help glancing over at Alec. My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own as I took in his appearance.
“It looks like hair and makeup did a knockout job on you today, Alec. Can’t even tell that your face is fucked up.”
Kat snorted next to me, covering her mouth with her hand to hold back the laugh. I was surprised to see that Lana also had a hint of a smile on her lips.
Alec sneered, “Don’t get too excited, Bravo. You didn’t hit me that hard…nothing is broken.”
I gave him a toothy smile, “Nothing but your pride, right?”
“Fuck you, Bravo.”
Kat turned to me, placing her hand on my chest, “That’s enough, you two. Shut up or I’ll throat punch both of you.”
I was still smiling when I muttered a quick “sorry” her way.
She gave me a playful wink that Alec couldn’t see before looping her arm with mine, forcing me to turn away from him. We were called to go through our routine soon after that. We nailed it the first time through. The lightning, music, and camera angles fell into place perfectly for us. We went through it two more times just to be sure.
I don’t really know what came over me, I assumed it was because Alec was glaring at me the entire time, but I made sure to turn the flirtiness of our routine up a few notches. Kat didn’t seem to mind, meeting me where I was. Not that it was all an act. The way the fringy dress accentuated her hip movements really did almost have me on my knees. The woman’s body moved in ways that my brain could not handle.
I have to admit, I was getting a small thrill out of knowing Alec was seeing how good Kat and I were together. I didn’t want to make things harder on her, but he really did need to be put in his place. He needed to know that Kat was desirable.
I could feel the static crackling in the air between me and Kat as we walked off the dance floor, hand in hand. She had that look in her eyes again while we waited for final feedback. We were given the all clear to head to our final fitting after that. Kat kept hold of my hand the entire time. Only dropping it as soon as we ran into Stacia and Joe in the hallway. We moved to walk around them, but Stacia stopped us. I noticed she looked both of us over before she spoke to Kat, “Care to share what happened to Alec’s face?”
Kat’s eyes widened slightly, “What did Alec say happened to his face?”
Stacia’s eyes narrowed, “He didn’t…just said he’s clumsy.”
I worked to keep my face neutral, but I really wanted to laugh at the absurdity of everything.
Kat gave her a tight lipped smile, “Well, I won’t argue with that. He is clumsy.”
“So, you’re not gonna spill the details?” Stacia prodded.
“I’m afraid I don’t know the details. He was fine the last time I saw him…so I can’t help you there.”
I could tell by the way Stacia was looking at Kat that she didn’t believe her. It was almost like they were having some sort of standoff now, eyes locked in an intense gaze. Stacia’s eyes finally shifted over to me, her head tilting slightly. “How about you, Dieter? Do you know what happened to his face?”
I shrugged, “What makes you think I would know anything? I hardly see the guy.”
Stacia studied my face for a moment, almost like she was trying to read if I was lying. Her lips eventually turned upward into a smirk, “Well, good luck you two. Your dress rehearsal looked perfect. You’ve really turned up the heat this week. I’m sure the viewers are gonna love it.”
Joe stood by smiling like the Cheshire Cat through this entire interaction. Only mumbling a quiet “Good luck” as they walked away. Kat and I gave each other wide-eyed looks as we turned to head toward the wardrobe department for our final fitting. Once the fitting was done, we stopped in for hair and makeup touch ups. Kat had to go change for the opening performance while I went to the staging area to wait.
Since I skipped out on watching the group dress rehearsals, this was my first time seeing it. I remembered Stacia saying that they were going to put more attention on Kat, but I didn’t realize how much. She was the performance. Everyone else might as well have been background dancers. She worked the room and the cameras like no other and had the audience going crazy. She was magnetic and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
I lost interest once she was off the dance floor, opting to scroll through social media on my phone instead. I went down a rabbit hole of hashtags for the show, curious what people were saying. Kat was indeed a hot topic, and it was mostly positive. They fucking loved her and that made me happier than it probably should have. I definitely felt like Stacia was getting a heavy dose of karma after insinuating that Kat wasn’t that good in the beginning.
I eventually came across a Dieter and Kat hashtag. I thought twice about clicking it but did so anyway. There were apparently a lot of shippers for us out there. It now made more sense why Stacia and Joe were pushing that narrative. I was honestly surprised at the support for it. Usually, my fans flipped the fuck out anytime I was linked to any sort of serious romantic partner, but they seemed ok with this. I saw Kat coming in my periphery, so I hit the hashtag ‘follow’ button then locked my phone just as she made it over to me.
We were buzzing with anticipation as we awaited our turn. Kat hooked up her earbuds to her phone, “You ready for some hype music?”
I nodded, “What’s it gonna be today? Eye of the Tiger?”
She chuckled, “Oh no. I only pull out the big guns when it’s serious.”
She handed me one bud and my ear was immediately filled with the familiar guitar riffs of Walk this Way by Aerosmith and Run DMC. “Yaaaaaas! I approve!” I said with a wide grin. She laughed, bobbing her head to the beat while my fingers played the chords on my air guitar. It was exactly what we needed to get hyped up.
Before we knew it, it was our turn. I was strangely calm as we stepped out onto the dance floor and took our places. Kat’s confidence and sparkling eyes seemed to keep me grounded in the moment as the spotlight dropped down on her. I stood off to the side in the darkness, waiting until it was time to join her. She opened with the flirty strut and hip shaking thing she does so effortlessly before I came into the light, playing the lovesick puppy matching her every move while she shimmed and gyrated around me. There were a couple of instances where there was no space between us as our bodies moved as one to the beat. Kat’s cheek rested against mine, our fronts pressed together, our bodies twisting downward before popping back up for me to dip her backwards. She pushed me away dramatically before we transitioned into a lock step sequence followed by cross over breaks and a chase with full turns. We ended with a flourish as I spun Kat around and dipped her backward again, this time pulling her leg upward into our ending pose.
When the lights dimmed, I pulled Kat upward and hugged her against me as she bounced up and down. Her arms wrapped around my neck as her cheek pressed firmly against mine. “I swear, that was fucking perfect. We killed it,” she said loud enough for me to hear it. I could feel her hot breath against my ear as she spoke. I couldn’t help burying my face in her neck for a brief moment. I inhaled her scent quickly, it was sweet like berries and a spring day. I didn’t want to let go, but I had to. The producers were finally getting what they wanted, our whole interaction since stepping foot on the dance floor was over the top flirty and sexy. More so than it had been during rehearsals as we continued matching each other’s energy, not holding anything back. If the connection between us continued to grow like this every week, it was only a matter of time before something happened between us. Having this much chemistry was unsustainable in its current form.
While I did my interview and waited for the scores, Kat stood hugging me around the middle with both arms. I wrapped one of mine around her and pulled her tightly into my side.
The judges didn’t really have any feedback for us. They mostly gushed about the sexiness of the performance and how in sync we were with each other. Noting that we probably had a stronger connection than any other couple on the show this season. My head was spinning from the adrenaline of it all before we even got our scores. My knees felt like they were going to give out as they started calling out the numbers. They gave us two 8’s and two 9’s. Kat and I were both in shock as we stood with our mouths agape. She had to give me a little shake to bring me back down to earth as the host asked how I was feeling about having the highest score of the night.
Afterwards, we walked back to the staging area with smiles on our faces. Several cast members congratulated us as we passed by. We found a spot in the back corner, away from the others. Kat pulled me in for another hug, “That is the highest score I have ever gotten. I think I’m in shock.”
I chuckled, “I know, I’m in shock. That was…wow. I have no words.”
“We should celebrate with a big greasy burger after this,” she said with a toothy grin.
I nodded, my hand still resting on Kat’s hip after she pulled away from the hug. Her hand sat on the back of my shoulder as she leaned into my side. We stayed like that while watching the next couple’s performance. The energy was still buzzing between us when we were interrupted by Alec. I noticed his eyes drop down to where my hand was on Kat, anger briefly flashed across his face, but he managed to compose himself.
“Kat, can we talk for a minute?” he finally asked.
Her lips set into a tight line before she finally nodded and pulled away from me. He’s not really gonna do this now, is he?
They moved further away into the back corner, but I could still hear him begging her for another chance. I rolled my eyes, trying not to listen, but I honestly couldn’t help it.
“Baby, please, I swear. I’m not gonna fuck up again. I’m really gonna try to do better. I went to an AA meeting yesterday. I haven’t drank at all since that night. I feel terrible and I realize I can’t keep acting like this. I’ll do whatever you want. I’m still going to anger management, I’ll do therapy too if that’s what you really want. Please, I’ll do anything.”
I chanced a glance in their direction, Kat looked like her resolve was breaking. Fucking asshole. He was saying all the right things and I bet he didn’t mean a word of it.
“Alec, I can’t keep doing this.”
“I know baby, I don’t blame you. Just one more chance, please.”
Kat sighed, “OK. This is the LAST time though. You fuck up again and I’m done. It’s on you. You hear me?”
I didn’t even hear Alec’s response. I felt like the air had been knocked out of me. I had gotten my hopes up - let my fantasies of her being mine run wild and infect my senses. I felt dizzy for a different reason now, realizing my breathing was turning shallow.
My attention was drawn back to Kat when I heard my name.
“You need to get over whatever your issue is with Dieter. He’s done nothing wrong and doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. I’m not gonna put up with it. I want you to apologize for trying to hit him. That was on you.”
I don’t want his fucking apology.
“I’ll do whatever you want, just let me come home with you tonight. Please? So, we can talk, and I can show you how sorry I am. Let me make it up to you.”
She puffed air through her cheeks before nodding, “Fine. Whatever.”
I felt sick. I needed to leave. It felt like the walls were closing in on me and everything was suddenly too loud. Sweat was beading at the nape of my neck and running down my back. I felt like I was gonna have a fucking panic attack.
I turned to leave, nearly bumping into Kat who was now holding Alec’s hand at her side. I just stared at them wide-eyed. I could see the concern on Kat’s face, but I didn’t care.
“Dieter man, listen…I’m sor…” Alec started to say.
“Save it. I don’t want your fucking apology.”
I glanced down at Kat, “Enjoy your evening. I’m not feeling well, I need to go.”
I could hear Kat calling after me as I left the staging area and moved toward my dressing room. I quickly changed out of my costume and stuffed it into the dry cleaning bag, sitting it outside my door for pickup. I closed the door behind me and locked it. I sat down in the chair, my head in my hands as I fought to control my breathing. The tears pooled in my eyes as I tried to reason through why I was reacting like this. It wasn’t normal. The hurt was too much.
I was startled from my thoughts by a loud knock on the door.
“Dieter, are you in there?” It was Kat. I didn’t answer her.
My phone buzzed with several incoming text messages. They were from her, but I didn’t bother to look at them. I couldn’t.
I exhaled slowly, running my hands down my face. What is my fucking problem? It was then that the realization finally hit me. I was in love with her. “Fuck.”
Next: Week 4
A/N: Y'all ready to come at me with pitchforks? Don't worry, it won't last long. Alec is a class A fuck up. You know it's only a matter of time. So, there was a lot that went down in this chapter. Now that you've read Dieter's side, who do you think is down worse, Dieter or Kat? There was a lot of flirty banter in this chapter and I am here for it. Do we think Kat was intentionally flirting? What do we think about them singing together? I can confirm, this will not be the only time that happens... We got a small glimpse of plant dad and cat dad Dieter in this part. Are we swooning yet? How much did we love Dieter being a smart ass to Alec during dress rehearsals? I feel like we need more snarky Dieter. What about Dieter's revelation at the end? How do you think that is going to affect his interactions with Kat going forward? Now for some fun stuff... a big shout out to @readingiskeepingmegoing for introducing me to one of the music artist featured in this chapter. I. AM. OBSESSED. The three songs referenced in this chapter are linked below as well as their performance song. I have also included another fun Cha Cha video that I took inspo from.
youtube
CP Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept
@survivingandenduring @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love
@readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981
@guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty
@rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte
@timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime
@copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75
@bunniboo0015 @quicax3 jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap @pedrostories
@angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held @gwendibleywrites @senorabond
👉 If your name is marked out, it wouldn’t let me tag you. ☹️
If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.
Credits: Support/MDNI Dividers: @cafekitsune Disco Divider: @deadbranch
#dieter bravo#dieter bravo fic#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfic#dieter bravo x oc#dancing dieter#daddy dieter#plant dad dieter#cat dad dieter#reblog love#trash panda queue
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The Spider,
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Oh the 2am dysphoria moments are kicking off aaaaaa
#autumn says stuff#was trying to read some short stories and got to a point where I was like ‘oh huh. this author is suddenly really transphobic. wow.’#needless to say#mental health took a big oooof#then got thinking why so many people are so transphobic??#just in general tbh#how are so many people just bigots about anyone that looks/acts different from them#*sigh*#this next thing is a recurring ptsd thing but then I got thinking about my shitty bio father#like my dude I just want a dad#but instead I got this asshole#haven’t seen him in forever#but honestly he was always kind of absent regardless#and the times he was there he was just a fucking stupid piss donkey#still can’t believe he has the audacity to tell me in one of last ever conversations that ‘if he ever did anything right#it was being a good dad’#DO YOU EVEN#then there was that time he stole my prescriptions and god damn#I remember my little 17 year old self being so angry#he never gave me back those prescriptions#pretty sure he just threw them away#I was able to explain the situation to the pharmacy there and get my prescriptions by paying out of pocket but god damn#idk I might have been 16 then? can’t remember anymore#anyway. really wish that cps got involved sooner than they did#I honestly feel as though abusive parents really do brainwash you.#I never realized back then how fucked up both of my bio parents are until I got older.#(it’s not the good kind of brainwashing that comes from drone stuff)#I always wonder what my bio father is up to these days. all I know is that he moved out of state after I semi-ran away.#I know he has my current phone number because he got it from his equally abusive ex wife.#tag limit hit. will reboogle this to continue
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THERES AN UBER OUTAGE IN MY AREA???? GIRL NOT RIGHT NOW!! I GOTTA GET TO THE TRAIN STATION!!!
#taking a bus is NOT an option bc i WILL miss my train if i do that#i had to download lyft make an account which took WAY longer than it should have to do jfc stupid verification codes taking forever to send#i am now STRESSIN#according to the gps we will arrive with plenty of time to spare but WHAT IF THERES TRAFFIC#the lyft is also RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE RN holy shit#surge pricing is AWFUL bc of the uber outage + the fact that its nearing end of work time so traffic and im going over the bridge oooof
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rei babyyyy! 🥺 thank you for following the series, aaaaa 😭
they are the most chaotic dup i've ever written, and i do lovingly call them my chaotic idiots so hehe, glad we agree upon the adjectives! oooof yessss feeeeeeelings 😩 they're in too deep and deciding to let their idiot sides show at the very wrong time 😔
thank you thank you, the birthday scenes took me forever to write bec finding a balance between too playful and too cringey so that it's just the right amt of sOft is harder than i thought 😭 so happy to know you liked it!!! <333
i'm afraid jk is gonna be a dumber baby for a while... u can spank him if u want, here, use a ruler: 📏
thank you sooo much for reading, more angst incoming in the next part, i love youuuu 😩❤❤❤
make-believe it’s hyperreal | jjk. (m)
The Chairman of Jeon Security has finally decided he needs a Vice Chairman to shoulder the responsibilities. You know you’re the only one at the company who deserves this post, so if everyone thinks the promotion should stay in the family? Well, fuck that shit; you’re gonna get engaged to your frenemy-with-benefits, Jeon Jungkook, and join the damn family! Or, at least – you’re gonna pretend to.
pairing: jungkook x reader
rating: m (18+)
genre: angst | smut | fluff | fake dating!au | enemies to lovers!au | fwb!au | chaebol!au | ceo!jungkook
word count: 20 k
— warnings: swearing + alcohol + misogyny in bulk + reader’s dad’s soul got left behind in the 13th century + unhealthy parental relations + daddy issues? ig? + hints of the beginnings of an emotional breakdown + angsty confrontations + some crying + pining + misunderstandings + insecurities + overthinking + multiple smut scenes + explicit sexual situations (dom!jk, sub!reader, sex against a wall, rough sex, unprotected penetrative sex, oral (f.&m.), kind of a rougH blowjob bec JK likes some teeth action, strength kink, biting, marking, dirty talk, degradation, praise kink, spanking, throat fucking, cum eating, face-riding, jungkook is still a Boob Guy™, one (1) playful/loving slap to one (1) boob, breast play, nipple biting, clit biting, pussy slapping, spanking…i think, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms) + A GLIMPSE INTO JK’S POV!!! + oc is sad in almost 75% of the fic :( + jk is sad in the last 5% :(
— note: i knoW it took me too long w this (pt.3 was posted in julY???) and i apologize :( i got busy w too fkn many exams and then a full time job and more exams - ugh. but it’s finally done! guys, the first dash of angst in the endless hilarity, are we excited? 👀 i hope y'all like the developments in the story~ 🥺💜
ps. title’s from lorde’s buzzcut season that makes my heart bleed for no reason <3
in case this is your first encounter with this universe: i would recommend reading at least disaster management to get a better grasp on the characters and setting, but to briefly summarize - jungkook and reader come from chaebol families that are great friends, but they have grown up as rivals even tho reader has always found him hot af. reader is working as vice president and now president at jungkook’s dad company, and he has recently (some ~4 years back) been brought on-board as the ceo whom she was earlier tasked to train. now, things have progressed b/w them physically but reader still can’t bear his presence.
— masterlist | taglist | feedback?
↝ the damsel & her knight ⁘ 01 02 03 [04] 05
You wonder if this conversation would still still be so unbearably shitty if your dad didn’t keep interrupting Chairman Jeon with his two cents every five seconds.
Probably not.
Keep reading
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(Young!Melino, while still living in the Arafinwion household)
After setting an elaborate prank, Melino did his best to seem inconspicuous:
“How do you fare today, father?”
@melino-lost-arafinwion
“I am well, thank you.” Arvo replied, completely unaware of whatever Melino was planning. “And you? How have you been today? Busy?”
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VERY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.
RULES. repost; do not reblog! tag 10! good luck!
TAGGED BY: @summoners-path
TAGGING: I was going to tag my other muse but it turned out the princeling was easier to finish that Auron (who can be such a recalcitrant bastard at times, I swear) - @oshimai, @fallal, and by this point I think most people have done this? If you have not and you’re seeing this, then I’m tagging you, yes, you, whoever you may be. Do the thing!
BASICS.
FULL NAME: Auron ( アーロン ) - no last name. I’m one of those with the opinion that Spirans don’t generally have ‘last’/family names.
NICKNAME/S: Rikku calls him big meanie, and probably sometimes red. Still others might call him Sir.
AGE: 25 (at time of death) - 35 (at time of Sending)
BIRTHDAY: Some point in the mid-Spring. The date wasn’t recorded.
ETHNIC GROUP: Human (Yevonite), Macalanian.
NATIONALITY: Yevonite
LANGUAGE/S: Spiran Common. He knows a few basic words and phrases of Al Bhed but nothing more.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Grey-ace, sex neutral.
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic, perhaps slightly inclined towards men(?). Intensely monogamous.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: unattached (verse-dependent)
CLASS: Practical: Warrior - 2H Sword (ATK, DEF, tank, debuff) ; Social: variable, depending on the point in his life. He’s gone from low-working-class to mid- then high warrior class, then booted back out into near-poverty, then to Dream Zanarkand where he didn’t fit anywhere.
HOMETOWN / AREA: Bevelle - from age 8 (There was once a small village back in the mountains of Macalania that a young boy called ‘home’. It’s not there any more.)
CURRENT HOME: (verse-dependent) Wandering.
PROFESSION: Originally, a warrior monk in the Church of Yevon, dedicated to the protection of the people against Sin and fiends and heretics and upholding the law of the land. After that, a guardian, dedicated solely to the protection of his Summoner. (After and in-between, he had to find something to do in Dream Zanarkand that wasn’t just babysitting Tidus…)
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Black, streaked with grey. Long when he was young, kept short when older save for a long queue at the back.
EYES: Amber, appearing mid-brown in low light but bright in full light. After his death, he only has one and developed a light sensitivity in the remaining one. It’s one of the reasons that he wears the sunglasses, along with the added bonus of obscuring his face - they protect his eye from brightness or sudden changes in light intensity. He also has impaired depth perception that he had to learn to work with, relearning even things as basic as how to navigate, much less fight.
NOSE: A fairly average-sized nose with a straight bridge, the tip pointed out slightly more from his face than you’d see in southern Yevonites or Al Bhed.
FACE: Oval face shape, with a gentle taper from cheekbones to jawline, firm jaw leading down to a strong chin. Slightly v-shaped hairline. When he was young he always kept clean-shaven, but as he got older, he has a sort of permastubble going on, as sometimes he bothers to shave and sometimes he doesn’t, but is apparently incapable of managing to grow an actual beard.
LIPS: Somewhat thin, often chapped (this man needs a chapstick, has Zanarkand invented those yet?). Prone to turning up into a smirk when he’s amused, but he doesn’t fully smile very often, much less grin.
COMPLEXION: Pale with yellow undertones, though he’s usually slightly tanned from being outside often. In places like Bikanel or the southern islands, he will burn (and be extremely irritable about it).
BLEMISHES: A massive scar that crosses his face from above his right eyebrow to his jawline, sealing the eye shut, and continues down from his shoulder to just above his right hip. He also has a fair amount of less drastic scarring incurred in battle, but aside from a few larger or more severe wounds, those are relatively minor due to the availability of healing magic and potions.
TATTOOS: None.
HEIGHT: 6’0”, probably 6’0.5”-6’1” in his boots - some people find this surprising, as his presence (most often!) gives him the impression of being an even larger man
WEIGHT: I’m terrible at judging/guessing this tbh - maybe somewhere around 200 lbs?
BUILD: BRICK WALL. Mesomorph, and very fit. He’s extremely solid, with a core like a steel beam from swinging that sword around like he does. Definitely looks like he could toss Braska to safety without a second thought. Nice legs, broad shoulders and hefty arms, a muscular but rather flat ass.
ALLERGIES: Incompetence. Mold and mildew, as well as mild lactose intolerance.
USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Mostly unstyled. Queue bound back with a tie or thin ribbon, the shorter majority he simply runs his fingers through and that’s good enough.
USUAL EXPRESSION: Resting murderface. Ah, stoic. He tends to show his emotions readily on his face but the changes of expression are always very minor, so one has to look close and know him well to see what he’s feeling. The signs are always there to be picked out, though. Everything is thrown out the window when it comes to very strong emotions, though, usually anger, which is obvious for all to see. When he was younger, his expressions were usually more obvious, but that changed over time.
USUAL CLOTHING: Dark, dark grey pants with a lighter grey vertical stripe on the front, back, and sides that tuck into tall black boots, which have a protective plate on top of the foot and a decorative medallion at the top of the boot that helps secure the strapping. A very basic undershirt between skin and a black hardened-leather cuirass with simple yellow-gold detailing. A tall grey cowl with leather strapping attaches to the cuirass itself, and with a pair of oval-lensed sunglasses does a good job of hiding his expression.
Over top, a long, ankle-length heavy red coat evocative of a haori, with a thick collar/front edging of blue edged with white. A pair of buckled straps at the end of each sleeve allows the wide sleeve to be pulled closed not unlike the standard yoroi hitatare worn under armor. His right forearm is bound from the wrist halfway up and covered over the back of his forearm with a bracer made of three plates, his right hand gloved with black leather. On his left shoulder is a pauldron of hardened brown leather, finely tooled and decorated.
The coat is held closed with a wide belt of scaled grey-green under double straps of brown leather, which is covered on the sides and back with a protective layer of steel detailing and blue lamellar plates. At his belt he carries a large jug, held with braided leather straps and a cord of decorative beading.
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR/S: failure, letting others down, enclosed spaces, losing himself to becoming a fiend
ASPIRATION/S: When he was younger, he was far more idealistic in some ways - he wanted to help people, to protect, and he did. The main ideal of that aspiration didn’t change as he got older, but the scope did. It became not so much an aspiration as a hope, a desperate goal to frantically grasp at even as it slipped through his fingers.
POSITIVE TRAITS: Determined, protective, intelligent, enduring, loyal, forthright (younger).
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Bossy. Prideful. Stubborn. Acerbic. Secretive. Can and will walk right over you if you stand between him and his goal.
MBTI: ISTJ - The Logistician
ENNEAGRAM: Type 8 - The Challenger
ZODIAC: Aries (sun) - Virgo (moon)
TAROT: Justice (young), Death (in-game)
TEMPERAMENT: Choleric
SOUL TYPE/S: Hunter (with Thinker/Helper/Leader all tied for second place)
ANIMAL: well the test was terribly wrong for him but the closest thing there was Rhino, though that one underestimates his mental capabilities (many thanks to B-chan for helping me scour the choices)
VICE/S: This man can hold grudges. Usually big ones, but sometimes he can get in a snit and be very petty (see: the stop at the Macalania Travel Agency where Tidus calls him ‘old’ and Auron stops talking, turns away with a hrmf and a snide remark and then won’t even look at Tidus for the remainder of the stay). After his death, self-loathing is a serious vice as well, one that wasn’t present before (or at least until the very end of his life).
FAITH: Once, he believed in Yevon. Now, that couldn’t be further from the case. What faith he once had was thoroughly crushed.
GHOSTS?: As an Unsent, he himself is one, after a fashion. Even if he wasn’t, fiends would fit the definition well enough. In Spira, ghosts are not so much a matter of superstition as they are a natural part of the world; it is why summoners are needed to Send souls to the farplane, and the existence of fiends and unsent are abject proof.
AFTERLIFE?: Yes. As with ghosts, this is not so much a matter of faith as it is natural and evident. While one can debate whether the images the living see of their loved ones on the Farplane are a projection or truly their souls, that does not deny the truth that one can visit the Farplane itself.
REINCARNATION?: Yes, though mostly in the less comforting knowledge that one can become a fiend after death. A truly new life… he’s less certain of the possibility, though he’d like to believe.
ALIENS?: He’s been to and lived in a world created from dreams and set foot on the alternate plane of the afterlife. He’s inclined to think that anything is possible. There are so many stars out there, of course some other worlds with people on them are out there too. It just doesn’t have any bearing on his world here and now.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: For much of his life, Lawful Neutral/Good and a supporter as well as part of the reigning religious oligarchy/theocracy. Later and near the end of his life, as well as his unlife, Neutral Good/True Neutral and in (at first) subtle opposition to the established Church and then actively attempting its complete overthrow.
ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: He never really had much of a need or want for material goods. He always had a few treasured possessions, but between his personality and his lifestyle he never accumulated many ‘things’. After he dies, he has even less to his name, but he’s content with remaining that way. He travels, feeling out of place, and so keeps his pack light rather than gathering and keeping objects. As he doesn’t spend much, he doesn’t particularly want for money.
SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: He’s… famous, being the (a) Legendary Guardian, but that doesn’t really afford him anything other than awe, and occasionally a free room. He stays out of politics once Yevon is brought low. It’s up to the people who will live for the future to determine it, after all.
EDUCATION LEVEL: Once he was dedicated to the Church of Yevon at 8 years old, he was granted good schooling along with all the other child-acolytes and training to enter the ranks of the warrior monks. Before that, he didn’t have anything in the way of formal schooling and was illiterate, though he’d been learning practical skills for some time. He was of an age that he was starting to try his hand at trades and would have chosen one to apprentice to had circumstances not changed his fate.
FAMILY.
FATHER: (deceased)
MOTHER: (deceased)
EXTENDED FAMILY: brother (Feron - deceased)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): none (verse-dependent)
NAME MEANING/S: high mountain/mountain of strength (Hebrew); gold (aur) - a divine ending/death (on) (Old Celtic/Welsh); gold (aurum - Latin) gilded/gilt/noble (aureus - Latin); dawn (Áron - Quenya)
HISTORICAL CONNECTION: What familial history he may once have had is lost. The Church broke its ties with him, and he with it. What connection he has to history is his part in the story of Braska’s and Yuna’s Pilgrimages, until those stories are told no more.
FAVORITES.
BOOK: He likes histories and tales, whether fiction or not - a good story. The ending of it does not matter so much as what happens during the book.
MOVIE: He’s not much of a movie person, actually, but as with books, he’d prefer one with solid characters and a good story to it over anything else.
DEITY: He’s not fond of gods these days, self-proclaimed or otherwise.
MONTH: October
SEASON: Autumn
PLACE: Somewhere not the South. He prefers cooler climes and does terribly in hot weather, growing irritable the longer he has to deal with it.
WEATHER: Sun out but clouds in the sky, with a crisp breeze blowing.
SOUND: Gentle rainfall, the crunch of leaves and evergreen needles under boots, soft humming.
SCENT/S: Cedar wood, pine, stone in the forest slightly grown over with moss, the brightness of a mountain stream’s spray.
TASTE/S: Seasoned game meats, fish; will steal your berry tarts.
FEEL/S: Wood and tree bark, slightly textured paper, braided fabric, simple glazed pottery.
ANIMAL/S: Auron is most definitely a dog person. He’s also fond of flying creatures, and you’ll often see me associate him with the red-tailed hawk.
NUMBER: Three. It is a good, solid number, is it not?
COLOR: He likes red, favouring it enough to choose the colour for his coat, and in general likes autumn and winter tones.
EXTRA.
TALENTS: planning, combat, snarky commentary
BAD AT: Magic. White, Black, Blue, Time, it doesn’t matter. Absolute shit at it. I have a headcanon that he doesn’t even have the capability for it, backed by the fact that the abilities in his grid is essentially all physical - the debuff-abilities can be explained as ki-type physical energies rather than magic. He’d like to be able to cast even as little as a simple Cure, but it’s beyond him. Also bad at empathising.
TURN-ONS: Entirely dependent on the person, and pretty much null in general unless he’s romantically attracted to or involved with that person.
TURN-OFFS: Arrogance, superiority, degradation, arguments, pain, excessive testing of his patience (a little is fine but don’t push it too far-), et al.
HOBBIES: He doesn’t really have much in the way of hobbies. There’s almost always been something to keep him busy, and so he never had much time to develop fun down-time things. He does whittle, if there’s dead time and he’s feeling inclined. It’s an easy enough thing that keeps his hands busy, and he can just pick up wood wherever he’s settling down to camp and discard whatever he makes if he doesn’t care to keep it, so materials are never really an issue save for keeping his knife sharp.
TROPES: BFS; Dead All Along; Determinator; The Atoner; The Stoic/Not So Stoic; Taking the Bullet; Tall, Dark, and Snarky, I Gave My Word
AESTHETIC TAGS: I actually don’t have a dedicated aesthetic tag for him and I really should. Hmm. I’ll get on that…
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Oh gosh I forgot to say I wanted a matchup!! Jojo matchup please hehe >~
I forgot the part too ;~; I curse my ADHD uhhhh parts 4 or 5? UwU
Heheh I wonder if you can figure out who I am? I’m ENFP, 5'5", I have a very open and kind atmosphere which tends to draw people towards me, specifically people who carry emotional baggage. I tend to be very nurturing to people and if someone says something hurts I’m in full Nurse mode. I am very adventurous and curious and the thought of a new place to explore and new things to learn turns me into a kid on Christmas. (½)
I’m very hyper and giggly but I know when to be serious if I have to be. Im very caring and I’m always there for people when they need it. I love to sing, read, write, dance, and take photos of things that catch my eye. I dont like people who cant take a joke, being limited in things, or feeling constricted or controlled. I plan to travel the world and photograph everything I can, but I’d also be quite content with being an actress in theatre. (2/2)
Your match is:
Fugo!
Initially, I leaned towards Josuke because you both want to travel, but I think he’s more like your personality twin instead of romantic match! So I went for Fugo instead! Your ENFP is a good match for his INTP and while he has past emotional baggage to work through, he would never take advantage of you. Your kindness would be comforting to him, like a place he could always be safe in and know he’d be protected.
Fugo is 5’6, so you’d be really close in height (maybe even taller in heels? heh~).
Your kind, open personality would be sure to draw Fugo in, and though you admittedly attract people who need healing, he would be careful not to burden you with his past. Because of your nurturing spirit, he would feel safe enough to open up to you, spilling all of his secrets and giving you the details he would never reveal to anyone else. He would willingly accept your love and healing, from then on completely trusting and relying on you. He would try to be open with you if thoughts of the past were haunting him or if he had bad dreams.
While he’s grateful for your kind nature, he would never assume that it was the only reason you were with him. First and foremost, he wants to be your partner and companion. Your “nurse mode” would absolutely be part of you, but not the only part he loves. Your passion for adventure and exploring would make him more excited about life and bring new joy to rediscovering his town and the surrounding country. He’ll take you on day trips whenever possible to take photographs of the beautiful scenery and try the local cuisine (you love beautiful locations, he loves delicious food—it’s a win for both of you!).
Fugo might be more reserved at first (as he is around the others in Passione), but around you he begins to open up! When he first hears your jokes, he might be stoic or analytical, but as he realizes that it’s harmless humor, you can see his playfulness come out. He would agree with your dislike of being limited or controlled and try to be as open as possible in the relationship—loving and affectionate just enough to let you know he cares, but never smothering or overwhelming so that you feel trapped.
Finally, Fugo would love getting to know your hobbies and interests, sharing whatever music he likes, enjoying private times to dance with you, and quiet moments of reading your writing or sharing his favorite books. He’s never done much photography, but he adores seeing yours!!
He’ll ask you about the places in the photos, which ones are your favorites, and if there’s any special meaning or compositions behind them. If you choose to pursue acting, Fugo will be in the front row at every opening night. He may be quiet at times, but he’s loving, devoted, and fiercely loyal. He will need reassurance at times, but you can count on Fugo to be a supportive partner.
Your first date would be after exhibiting some of your photos at a local cafe. Fugo would wander in to grab coffee and happen upon the opening night. As he looks them over, you catch his eye. He’s blushing already, putting his focus quickly back on the photos. You don’t approach him, but instead sit at your table with a fresh cup of espresso. He soon walks over.
“Are these yours??” He motions to the photographs, coffee in hand.
“Yes, they are.” You smile up at him, motioning to the chair across from you. “Would you like to sit?”
When he does, you two slowly open up over your art, sharing stories about the subject matter between sips of coffee. It’s really warm and gentle and the atmosphere is welcoming—you’re at ease (for Fugo, this is the ideal! He’s been shy ever since college, but this meeting helped him open up again!). Before he leaves, you give him your business card, saying you’re open to talking any time and hoping he’ll make the next move. It’s a welcome surprise when he does that evening and you two soon make plans to meet again!
Your first kiss would take some time to happen, only because Fugo needs lot of time to warm up to anything physical. With his past history of abuse, he would very very gradually open up about it, initially shying away from hugs or holding hands, but not quite knowing how to tell you why they make him uncomfortable. With time (a month or two, depending how many dates you go on), he would finally start to open up, beginning with a mention of abuse and that physical touch makes him nervous. Gradually, you’d get the full story, Fugo falling into your arms after it all, needing comfort and finally ready to be close to you. You hold him in your arms, kissing his hair, and telling him over and over that it wasn’t his fault. After he’s adjusted to being held, holding hands and hugging wouldn’t be far behind. He trusts you with everything now. So when Fugo finally asks you for a kiss, you’re pleasantly surprised. It’s been a long time coming and is worth every moment of patience. Fugo leans over to you with a quick peck on the lips. You take his hand, asking if you can have another. If he agrees, you lean in, gently tracing your fingers over his jaw, before pulling a slightly longer but still gentle kiss from him. He’s amazed! He likes affection now, but only on one condition: it has to be from you and only you~
#oooof sorry this took forever uwu#idk was this Sarah????#hahah#I should have done mista if it was xD#anyway hopefully u like this guess me anon!!#matchup#jojo matchup#pannacotta fugo#jjba
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can i request light bulb mirror lighting everywhere i go in life
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