#//ooohf

[elkenbulwark]

“Hm? You know the first novel I received concerning Drizzt came from a little elven boy. It must have been a century and a half ago.” Astarion said in consideration. The book was nowhere in sight at the moment. “Tattered thing now. Ren admitted he was that little elven boy all those years ago.” So it could be said that Astarion had known Ren longer in some way than Birvor himself.

Cue his ears drawing back closer to his skull as the other prattled on about...what exactly? Some weird sort of flex in that he knew Ren longer than him? He bites down the urge to remind him that of fucking course that was the case because not only did elves live a stupidly asinine length of time, but also this particular elf with his mouth full of upside down tusks and innocuously initiated insults was about as undead as a Withers' erection...and instead gives him an eye roll and a snort shortly before resting his forearms on his thighs from his roost of an abandoned crate round the fire.

"...'grats? You want a bloody medal??"

[jasperjv]

Every time I've gone to get my ID updated they asked "how tall are you" and I'd always be so specific like "I'm 5'6" but some think 5'5", no one can seem to agree" and they were just like "uh-huh.." and so my ID says 5'5" now.

Now I would say "I'm 5'5" I guess..." and people will say "nooo you can't be that short." yeah I'm 5'5.5" and it should've rounded up but y'all confuse me and men usually exaggerate their heights. So I'm 5'5.5" and autistic fuck off already

[pawnshcpdevil]

HOW ARE YOU COLOR CODED?

PURPLE CODED

purple, the color of wealth, prominence and owing your life to a king and crown, whether literal or metaphorical. you believe yourself above it all, believe that nothing can stand in your way and everything will go according to your master plan. but at the end of the day, you're terrified. terrified of what this quest for fame and glory might cost you. terrified of what you may lose in the rise to fortune. terrified of being alone even when you have so many smiling faces around you. you want truth, you want sincerity, you want... what DO you want, really?

[daxdraggon]

love playing genshin and looking at characters who i've been staring at edits of like-

this is not my beautiful home....

this is not my beautiful wife....

[5tarloid]

my dream just created minecraft ender dragon lore beyond my comprehension

[casceth]

also I got to 1k on here! actually like 1.2K followers it keeps growing ooohf im so full.... what should i do to celebrate?

[abyssalaerlocke]

Sugar

ooohf 😳 What if Tav was someone of money/power in Baldur's Gate, someone Gortash successfully charmed for it? They liked his flirting, and had a good-time with him — maybe many — showering their sugar baby with gifts

And then they end up tadpoled and see Gortash is behind it all, and when they reach him at his coronation, they scold him, Daddy/Mommy dom/me style, and he's a bit nervous and unsure, fighting the instinct to slip into subspace.

Maybe he holds it off long enough for the ceremony, but falls to his knees for them when they come up to his office after.

Better, they show up with Durge, and they're dating, and Gortash is completely overwhelmed and lets them undress him and take him apart and praise him for being good for them. And in that moment he doesn't care about the power, just wants more of this, to not be alone, and to be loved.

Maybe Tav and Durge stick around or take turns distracting him while the rest of the party deals with the absolute (or maybe they're all power-hungry and become the Absolute together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jigglybellysoftheart]

Ooohf, that’s a gut isn’t it? The swollen massive gut of a girl who simply cannot resist putting all the bad, bad foods in her mouth.

🥺🥺🥺🥺I cajt stop..

[hailieshapedbox]

i was that budtender that always gave sooo much free shit. in hollywood they literally could never figure out how i had such low sales compared. bitch its bc i dont fuck with your corporate bullshit, ooohf i went in when they told us to upsale the homeless buying $6 grams!!!! holla at the under paid, i get my fuckinn my worth

[welcometomybraincomics]

 Sam: "Oh, you're afraid you'll hurt me?" *confidently spreads their arms and plants their feet in preparation to receive a large amount of force* "Punch me!"

And because they share one brain cell, Whiplash would follow through

----

Sam, standing on a table, bobbing and weaving around, trying to antagonize Whip into hitting them: Oh, you think you can kill me when everything else that's tried so far hasn't? You think you're better than a rock slide, huh? Prove it! Hit me! Hit me, coward!

Whiplash, irritated, actually does punch Sam

Sam flies across the room and hits the wall "Ueg, not that hard" *clutching their stomach* "Ooohf, I think you bruised my ribs. And my neck. And my back, 🎶my pussy and my crack🎶" *wiggles around like they're dancing to the lyrics while slumped against the wall and immediately sags with an "Euhg" after bc that was not good for their injuries and now they feel nauseous*

Whiplash, clearly used to the cadence of Sam's references and jokes, even though he doesn't get most of them: "Stop joking around!" Rushing over "see! You get hurt too easily!"

"Yeah, that's because my bones are having a love affair with gravity" *waves dismissively, slumped enough that they're prone now*

"What the frag are bones???"

Sam perks their head up, staring in disbelief bc he 100% thought Whiplash already knew human anatomy or was at least paying attention when he was teaching Rita and Carlo

---------

Sam doing a human anatomy PowerPoint paired with an anatomy song

Sam: *slapping projection with an absurdly long pointer that's probably actually an antenna* Bones

Whiplash, who was under the impression that humans were literal bags of flesh: What the frag

[l3m-ntwo]

Oooo but... Ooohf...

[brownornaterugs]

uuuuuggggghhhhhh i just think about if i was still working at the aquarium and pikmin bloom was out OOOOOOH the steps id be accomplishing OOOOOH the cute aquarium postcards i'd had OOOhf

[yuzuavenue]

Y’all Remember When

shoma wore that pink bow at wtt 2017 because i just remembered and now i’m cryin again

[opalescenze]

Current mood: Love Zen A Lot

[bigassnocash]

Unexpected (Bo Larson x Reader)

Hello babes!! I am so excited to be behind the computer and writing again! I am so sorry for the brief hiatus I took, I was just so busy there for a while. I just recently moved to a new city, into my dorm and started college all in the same week so it's been pretty jam packed! Enough with my life story, back to the fanfiction! I think I'm going to take a break from writing Tom fics for a while, I don't feel comfortable writing for anyone with a partner. I'm still open to writing for Peter and Arvin if you guys are into that. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing and as always, be nice in the comments. I'm still new to writing!

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You had been sitting there for 20 minutes waiting for Patrick to show up. He asked you out a few days ago and you said yes. Despite some parts of his personality, you thought he had some redeeming qualities and that he was kind of cute.

He told you to meet him at Hugs Restaurant so he could take you out to dinner and a movie. You guys agreed to meet at 6pm and it was now 6:45 and still no sign of him showing up.

Where are you?

Are you close?

Hello?

He wasn't responding to any of your texts even though when you check you can see he was online. You felt the tears well up in the back of your eyes, and your throat start to contract in embarrassment.

"Honey the other party needs to come in or you'll have to leave. We can't keep waiting all night, we have other customers to tend to," the waitress tells you. She was your age, you recognized her from school which was even more embarrassing.

"Sorry I'm late, my boss kept me late and then traffic was a bitch." A tall, handsome guy walked up to you and kissed you on the head then sat down next to you. "Well dear, have you decided on anything?"

"I'm so sorry, I'll give you guys a couple minutes," the waitress said.

"Thank you darlin', again I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting." He turned to look at you. "Hi, I'm Bo. I work at the fast food place across the street and I saw you sitting over here. I figured a pretty girl like you who gets all dressed up shouldn't have to face being stood up."

"I appreciate that Bo, but you really didn't have to do that."

"What's your name?"

You had quite the dilemma; on the hand you could tell Bo your name, open yourself up to him and have a nice time. On the other hand you could leave Bo, go to the store and buy junk food then go home and watch cheesy romcoms while crying.

"Y/N, my name is Y/N."

You and Bo hit it off right away. You guys had the same taste in music, movies, books. You learned he used to go to private school but transferred this year, he was a frycook at Harpies, and he used to play basketball. You guys left after he paid the bill at his insistence and were now standing outside in the parking lot by your car.

"I had a nice time," you told him while looking at your feet.

"So did I. This was the best unexpected date ever."

"Do you do this a lot? Save pathetic girls who've been stood up by shitty guys?"

"Hey," he pulled you chin up so you were looking directly into his eyes now, "Don't call yourself pathetic. If anyone's pathetic it's the loser who stood you up."

"Aww Bo, you're too sweet."

"I was wonderin' if I could take you on a real date? Like a planned one?"

"Ooohf, I don't know. The last time I agreed to go out with a guy he stood me up and this brave boy swooped in and swept me off my feet so you have some big shoes to fill," you both laughed "but yes Bo. I would love to go out with you, on a real, planned date."

"Great, how about tomorrow after school? We can go to the library and study and then I'll take out out to a nice dinner."

"That sounds so nice."

[the-nysh]

Seeing the manga Garou vs Saitama fight, I can't help but think Saitama is in the position of Bang in the WC — it's not meant to do anything productive and just a mere exercise in futility. Saitama is just venting his grief and rage in the fight, not fighting for justuce whatsoever

Ooohf;;...when it's primarily to vent his frustrations over his perceived failure, and yet...it can't fill the void or ease his pain, rage, or sense of emptiness either. I keep thinking of how non-constructive it is too: his punches can't help anyone back on earth, can't save Genos, can't fulfill Tareo's promise, can't 'save' (free) Garou either or maybe they can, and then probably the most futile thing of all - his punches can't fix or heal what's already been lost/broken. :') It won't make Saitama feel better about the current situation or himself, esp if he's left all alone to believe all his heroism amounts to in the end, is showing up late to destroy everything after the fact (and just how fucked up is that. D:) With no true justice dealt to rectify the actual unjust problem, if he's influenced to basically murder someone he was tasked to save, while god, the true evil, gets away without any punishment for his unwelcome meddling. Essentially: what a mess this could become, if Saitama continues unchecked sacrificing all of Jupiter or more without anything drawing his attention to what's wrong, or regaining his usual levels of clarity and discernment. What will it take to restore even Saitama's hope and faith in himself, I wonder?

But of all the things his punches can do - they can alert Blast & friends to their location for transporting/assistance's sake, warp him & Garou to even more places, or if there's anything similar to Child Emperor's mental battle vs Phoenix Man, maybe his serious punches can mentally 'release' Garou enough from god's influence for Garou to alert or give Saitama more clues towards what's actually up. Anything other than Saitama outright killing him (or we'll never get anywhere), or god trying to tempt Saitama into becoming its next vessel at his lowest, most vulnerable mental point (or we're all truly fucked. D:)

Since the manga twist which feels almost like a role reversal to me has become about addressing Saitama's unresolved problems (and not just Garou's), once again, I'll be damned delighted actually if it takes some of actual Garou's active participation or involvement to stop Saitama from losing himself. :O Especially if Saitama himself can't do everything alone either, then aside from Blast, who else is the best dormant 'hero' who's still missing (yet to find himself) that could possibly 'help' him this arc? Huh...I wonder~