#//not me almost crying as i type this lmaoooo

[thancrxdwatxrs]

The Ishgardian blizzard was always bitterly cold, but Vincent had slowly grown used to it during his time in hiding. On this day in particular, he hardly felt the cold at all. There was a numbness that washed over his as he approached the all-too-familiar marker, the shield of House Fortemps still resting upon the stone undisturbed. The Miqo'te let out a shaky sigh, his breath a visible fog, as he knelt down and placed a flower upon the grave.

He had already lost so many friends - Minfilia, Moenbryda, Papalymo... He had replayed each and every moment in his mind. Had he been faster, stronger, had done something... Perhaps Harchefaunt would still be among the living.

He lifted a hand to wipe away a stray tear.

"If only you could see the world as it is...and what lies beyond. It's so beautiful... You would have loved it."

The wind picked up, sending a shiver down the monk's body. He pulled his coat tighter around his frame before standing up, taking another moment to say a silent prayer for his fallen friend.

[thebearer]

do you think once carm finds out you’re pregnant, he gets closer with richie or pete? like on a different level?

richie, yes, but in a "oh shit i forget you have a kid and you know what to do" type way lmaoooo. like where you can turn to nat and tina, he feels like he needs someone to turn to too that will understand his side of things more.

esp bc he's dealing with a new baby, but also dealing with you. not in a negative way, but in a "everything is new and i'm petrified" type way.

"cousin, you just gotta take the baby, and tell her to go take a nap."

"no, no, i-i asked her and-"

"-cousin, no. don't ask, alright? you ask, and she's always gonna say no, feels like she needs to keep the baby." richie rolled his eyes. "just take the baby, tell her to go shower- wait."

"yeah." pete agreed, sucking his breath in through his teeth dramatically. "don't do that carmen. natalie almost killed me once for saying that."

"yeah, can't believe i'm sayin this, but i agree with pete. don't say that." richie nodded, pointing at pete lightly.

"just take the baby, let her do her thing- nap, shower, eat, whatever she needs." pete added.

"just don't let her ask for it." richie gave carmen a pointed look.

"yes. because they won't." pete nodded.

"they won't."

carmen takes their advice and by some miracle, it works. you let him take teddy, nearly passing out in the bed finally, and carmen feels like he could cry he's so relieved. he'd been worried sick about teddy, more about you because you were worried about doing everything right... feeling like you were doing everything wrong.

teddy calms finally, your worried energy had startled her and kept her on edge. the house was quiet, for once. teddy in the bassinet in the living room, the soothing pattern that was gentle and rocked her. anchovy was sprawled out next to carmen, sun bathing on the rug in the kitchen while carmen cooked for you.

he texted pete and richie a brief, very carmen-esque update: both are asleep. thanks guys.

[ultrone]

Can you describe the dynamics of jackienat?

I know it is not naty bully jackie and jackie start crying like people are characterizing it in their fic.

ofc 😁 i can write some bullet points on the way i see it

keep in mind that i haven’t had time to rewatch the show so maybe some details might be off lmaoo if there's anything i forgot to add u can lmk

i honestly don’t think they’d bully each other at all 😭 i see that more as a headcanon. i know that many people like to think that since nat is an “outcast” and jackie is the stereotypical popular blonde girl, they would pick on each other and stuff, but i disagree. although they do fit those stereotypes in terms of looks, that doesn't necessarily dictate their actions lmaoo.

on the show, you can see that most of the times that jackie was portrayed as a brat or an asshole was through shauna's perspective/narration or when she was calling everybody out for doing weird shit, like when the girls almost killed travis and then pretended that it didn't happen.

the one time i remember jackie being actually mean was when she lashed out and called nat a slut for sleeping with travis instead of getting food, which obviously was wrong because she was in fact mean, but haven’t we all lashed out at someone at some point? that doesn't mean u're a bad person 😭 this explains it more in-depth.

and in general, regardless of jackie's stubborn attitude when adjusting to the wilderness, you can see that she's a very nice person. for example, it's evident when she helped misty put on makeup and told her that she deserves to be loved, or when she gave her last piece of food to shauna cuz she was feeling sick. not only that, but most people also acknowledge that she's a nice person. for instance, when the girls were talking about excluding allie, someone said not to tell jackie about it, probably because she wouldn't be cool with doing that. the coach chose her as the team captain because she influences and motivates people. and when shauna noticed jackie's stubborn behavior after the crash and gave her the pep talk, she said, and i quote, that she “makes people feel like things are gonna be okay just by showing up, and her dumb hot awesome self" lmaoo 😭 that should be enough proof.

as for nat, i have nothing to say other than i think we can all agree with the fact that even though she puts up this strong and aloof facade, on the inside, she's very sweet and caring. despite being labeled as the "outcast" who engages in drugs, drinks, and possibly breaks the rules, it doesn't mean that she's a bully or anything of that sort. most of the times i recall her being mean or acting like an asshole were when she was defending herself because someone else had picked on her first. for instance, when tai would tease her about her addictions or when she threw the alcohol bottle at those guys who were teasing her and her friends, or during that fight with jackie, that jackie started. i know there might be other instances where she lashed out first, but i honestly don't remember right now 😭 nonetheless, i think y'all get what i'm trying to get at lmaoooo. i also don't think she'd bully anyone because she's just not that type of resentful outcasted bitch LMAOO. a proof of this is that she was always against the plan of excluding allie—and then confronted shauna about it at the bonfire when everyone started arguing 🥊🥊 my girl might be bold and blunt but she's mad chill and don't even argue with me about that 🙄

WITH THAT BEING SAID, taking all those things into account, i don't think either of them would bully the other for no reason, as they're not the type of people to go around bullying others for fun. just because nat is your stereotypical alternative rule breaker and jackie is your stereotypical hot popular girl, it's not a good enough reason to believe that they would bully each other.

NOW, let's talk about their relationship.

the initial interactions we witness between them, occurring both in the pilot and throughout the show, involve nat bringing some sense into jackie lmaoo. for instance, in the pilot, when jackie mentioned that allie's wound "might not be as bad as it looks," nat responded, "you could see her fucking bones, jackie." this highlights nat's unwillingness to indulge in jackie's optimistic—and perhaps slightly naive—outlook and shows her straightforward and blunt nature. so, right from the first episode, we start to see the contrast in their personalities.

then, the first direct interaction that we see between them is jackie telling her, "nat, i love that you don't care what anybody thinks, and you're so completely yourself." instead of viewing her as an outcast or teasing her due to her addictions like others do, jackie admires how she doesn't care about people's opinions, probably because jackie herself does care about what others think.

i don't recall seeing many (if any) deep conversations between jackie and nat that highlight their friendship more in-depth out in the wilderness. however, one thing i know for sure is that by the last episodes of the first season, jackie and nat are pretty much the only two team members not buying into lottie's beliefs. even if they did argue and have disagreements, what would have happened if nat had been present in the cabin during jackie and shauna's fight? in my opinion, nat would've definitely defended jackie. i know that there might've been some recent resentment toward jackie cuz she slept with travis the night before, but they share a similar perspective regarding not worshiping lottie, and we know about nat's blunt and outspoken nature, which contrasts with jackie's. nat would've seen jackie struggling without anyone defending her and would certainly voice her thoughts, especially when jackie confronted everyone about nearly killing travis, because nat would've agreed with her. not only that, but she could've even defended her from shauna. although it's technically none of her business, shauna was clearly coming at jackie out of jealousy, and even admitted that she slept with jeff and was pregnant with his baby. not a single person called shauna out on it, letting it slide due to their resentment toward jackie for calling them out on their weird-ass behaviour, but nat wasn't being blinded by that, because she didn't believe in that bs. i just know that nat wouldn't have let that slide. she would've shut shauna's and mari's ass in record time and left the cabin with jackie.

and nat was literally the only one who buried jackie's remains when no one else would, not even shauna, who was consumed by guilt for what happened to jackie.

if nat had intervened, jackie might probably still be alive, and we could've seen more of their friendship. perhaps they would've grown closer or formed an alliance of some sort, but i guess we'll never know 😔

[the-traveling-poet]

💌🧃🎲🧸🏜️ for the asks game <3

Thanks for the ask anon! Love you guys🤎

(I trauma dumped in this one I’m sorry.)

💌~ “How many unread emails do you have right

now?”

According to the notification badge on my email app, 9,452 unread emails. I haven’t opened the app in 3 years? Besides looking through Amazon order notifications.

🧃~ “Share some personal lore you never posted about before.”

More lore huh? Aight, bet.

I was raised in the country. Like farmers. Farmers who have 0% social life. And I know a lot abt wildlife, hunting, animal care, survival, and crop management because of it. Was taught to swim, build fires, first aid, animal care, self defense, and farm work before I was 5yo.

I can smell rain 30mins before a storm rolls in but I can’t figure out when someone’s genuinely being friendly to me. Being treated with genuine respect and kindness isn’t as easily understood to me as skinning a deer for its meat in the dead of night.

🎲~ “What stops you from writing more in your free time?”

Stress!!!

I get so stressed out over my family, (even tho I place them first in my life…) and then I get stressed that no one will like my fanfic visions.

Even tho I know I’m writing “The Rose” for my own personal style of target audience. I’m guilty of fearing the public’s response to my passion :)

🧸~ “What's the fastest way to become your mutual?”

Don’t be a dick.

Don’t be homophobic, don’t be transphobic, don’t be sexist, don’t be ableist, don’t be a hatful human being.

Also, don’t tear down other people for having their own unique opinions on fandom topics. That just makes you look like a fucking pathetic child. And I hate those who tear down others for having opinions. I’ve had to live in a home that has done nothing but that to me all my fuckin 21 (almost 22) years of life. To see it online amongst people I used to be moots with? Fuck off with that. Grow up and accept that everyone has fandom opinions lmaoooo.

🏜️~ “What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?”

Ngl, it’s the ones that go; “Love this/love your writing! Pls keep writing! I’m invested!”

I’m not used to verbal praise. So any time I receive it, online or offline, I save it in any way I can so I can go back and stare at it while crying.

It means a lot to me, and anyone who’s ever commented something even remotely similar on my pages before, thank you. You don’t even know what you’re doing for me when you say those things. You’re healing my inner child who got her childhood taken away from her at an early age.

Feel free to ask more questions here!

[ohndering]

Color Analysis of The Boyz Members: Part 1

I am back again with another color analysis post. This will be halved into two parts because unfortunately, I cannot fit all 11 members in the post.

Just a disclaimer, I am not a professional nor do I have professional education, I just happen to watch too many Tiktoks and I happen to notice the differences with a keener eye than your usual person. Feel free to disagree, but I wil literally cry.

By the way, I am surprised by the amount of warm-toned people here, and even the cool-toned members are warm-toned adjacent (neutral-cool toned) except Kevin LMAOOOO

Also, another thing, I strongly align myself with Carol Brailey's rules when it comes to color analysis, therefore there are NO light seasons.

The order is not by age. I will be posting whichever member I was able to finish searching for pictures. I am sorry, but all these men ever wear is black and I am fucking TIRED.

Eric Sohn: Deep Winter

(The first pic is actually lethal. It's the reason i was inspired to do this.)

- The only Deep Winter in TBZ. He has a neutral-cool undertone and looks best with the pinks and purples of the palette. His next best palette is True Winter.

- You can just tell he's a winter palette. I already typed him as a winter and Deep Winter was my best bet. I was right.

Lee Juyeon: Deep Autumn

(I just knew he was warm-toned when the 4th pic dropped. Siargao Boy Juyeon, you're the only one I allow to gentrify that island.)

- He is a great example of a Deep Autumn that can rock Deep Winter colors. Having a neutral-warm undertone, he looks best with the violets and reds of the palette.

- This one is a no-brainer. Juyeon is easily what one would think of as a Deep Autumn. Actually, him and Sunwoo are your typical Deep Autumns. I always typed him as Deep Autumn so I am very happy that he is one.

Choi Chanhee: Bright Spring

(You would think that since Chanhee wears so much colors, I would have an easier time but NO. It took an hour.)

- An example of a Bright Spring that can pull off True Spring colors better than Bright Winter colors. With his neutral-cool undertone, he best fits the blues and the pinks of the palette.

- I originally typed him as a Bright Winter, but then I was like...he looks spring though, so I processed him again and LO AND BEHOLD, the Bright Spring palette revealed itself. He just couldn't handle the harshness of winter seasons. I was so sure about that.

Jacob Bae: Deep Autumn

(I actually gave up in looking for warm colors in this man's whole celebrity life that I just edited the pictures. Men truly will be men and they LACK fashion🙏)

- Having a neutral-warm undertone, Jacob is better suited for the darker colors of the autumn season. He can absolutely wear colors from the True Autumn palette with better results than Deep Winter. He looks best with the browns and greens of the palette.

- I thought he was Soft Autumn because he looks so nice, so I am genuinely surprised that he's a Deep Autumn, because he doesn't give me the vibes that he is one, but seeing him in Deep Autumn colors, I just know it suits him.

Kevin Moon: True Winter

(The only time I am happy that a man is wearing black or white. Do you see how it suits him? Exactly. He has it easy.)

- With his fully cool undertone, he looks best with the True Winter palette followed by the Bright Winter palette. He looks the best with the purples and blues.

- I almost typed him as a Bright Winter, because he has that brightness in him, but his cool undertone revealed itself when I gave him lime green LMAO. The season fits him though. He does look good in black.

Kim Younghoon: Bright Spring

(Leo men and the Bright Spring palette is forever my favorite thing. By the way, I hate that he always wears black or gray. Invest in a good dark brown ISTG. Also, by the way, the stylists know what's up.)

- Having a neutral-warm undertone, Younghoon looks best with the bright warm colors of the Bright Spring palette. He looks especially the best in the pinks and blues. He can pull of Bright Winter colors better than True Spring colors.

- I genuinely thought he was a summer LMAO, but there's an ongoing theme of Bright seasons looking like they belong in a Muted season, but he looks genuinely good in warmer, brighter colors.

Other members are in part two, whenever that will be released💀

[kithtaehyung]

I told myself I was way too exhausted to write notes as I went and was just gonna enjoy the read without pause this time but four lines wouldn’t let me:

“You say his name between each kiss like its habit, as if willing yourself to associate the feel of his affection with the mere sound of him.” Why tf would you do this to me Ryen 😭…all I could think for forfeit was pls say his name more pls just one more time he needs it and here we have them doing exactly that. Reader is more in-tune with what Yoongi needs than she thinks 😭. I just…I feel like this really…affected him. Made him feel some type of way you know? And my heart and stomach do all sorts of weird and terrifying things just thinking about it 🤧

“Stay in the present, and maybe he’ll end up telling you in the future.” I…can’t even explain this one. I started tearing up just thinking about typing out an explanation for it. Which might be explanation enough. If I can ever put into words why I cry when I listen to ‘Future’ the song, I’ll come back and try again.

“Just as terrifying.” I’ll never not be affected by a callback to fireworks.

“I can, too.” Simple, but powerful 😭 FUCK YEAH THEY CAN THIS IS A PARTNERSHIP NOW. They both got each other 🥺

Bonus line because I just wanted to shout profanities words in agreement:

“Because that person was brave as fuck for not walking out” ‼️ the ✨growth✨…is sexy as hell

Okay I officially have to pass tf out ✌🏽🖤 buenas noches mi amiga traviesa

Also it’s cute how you think you not posting yesterday makes this ongoing encounter of the third kind thing any better?? Cause legit the only explanations left are aliens or witchcraft 🤔🙃🙃🙃 THE MATH IS NOT MATHING RYEN FESS UP. What’s the count now…22? 🙃

MIKAYLA🥺🦋 I was excited for you to just read it so this was a pleasant surprise!! To have anything from you is a treat as always.

OH GOD THE FIRST LINES ALONE😭 I’m already choked up just thinking about what you’re thinking about, too. Because we knew what Yoongi wanted to happen tonight.. And reader’s constantly thinking about how they almost walked out. What would Yoongi be thinking, if not the fact that he almost let reader walk out without a word oh my god I’m actually choking up again😭😭😭 The way he must be feeling in this moment.. No wonder he broke like he did.

I can’t listen to Future (fuuuuc or apparently even think about it) without my chest constricting. It’s a different feeling entirely and I get you when you say you can’t write it out. But I’m honored?? Kinda? That you felt something there. And the fireworks callback just hits every time. Y’all are gonna see me crying come New Years just don’t mind me ok🧍‍♀️

YES. Yoongi said he’d figure something out in Dalo, but this time? He doesn’t have to do it alone🥺 Reader has grown in so many ways and the confidence is starting to come out without us even noticing.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you had a good sleep!! LMAOOOO STFUUUU he posted first so it’s still less weird ok?? But… this would be number 21🧍‍♀️

[noafencee]

i just remembered i never did an intro post LMAOOO so this is gonna stand in for it for now!!!!

1. NOA!! (0v0) [i almost always type it in all caps so i implore anyone to do the same LOL]

2. I think this account is relatively fresh! i think its only a few months- a year old!

3. STRAWBERRIES 🫶🫶🫶🫶

4. GREEN TEA MY BELOVED! [actually maybe any herbal tea]

5. I am the middle child of three girls 😔

6. I have two [SOON TO BE THREE OMG!!!] AMAZING,GENTLE cats!!!!!

7. I am 15!!! turning 16 in the march of next year :]]

8. I am fluent in English and can hold a conversation in Irish! Im also learning French,Latin and ISL [as gradual hearing loss (usually capping off at around 25-30) runs in my family :) ]

9. definitely has to be Stranger Things!!!! (or gravity falls, my fav childhood show LOL) And any spiderman movie lol🫶

10. i like to listen to music,burn cds and read if i have any spare time! i also crochet a bit

11. i THINK im an ambivert, i usually match the vibe of the people around me! (for example, i have to be very outgoing and outspoken for one of my close friends as they have severe anxiety, and dont like talking to people outside of their close circle!)

12. if spotify is anything to go by, usually rock,indie pop and hiphop show us the most in my wrapped!

13. either New York (a basic pick i know LOL) or Canada! (id actually like to live in Canada when im REALLYYYYY older)

14. I wish i was better at reading a room 🙁 i often keep to myself when im with people i dont know because i fear i will say something and it wouldnt be the right time/thing to say 😭

15. depends on the app!! if its on whatsapp [as all my friends use that] ill be super quick! but i often have snapchat muted LOL so itll take me a while, instagram and iMessage is the same as whatsapp🫶 i try to be very quick as i dont want anyone to think im ignoring them!

16. no😔😔 id like to have a lower back tattoo tho! or a small star on my hand

17. LESBIAN RAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

18. i LOVEEEE reading!! Im currently reading The Goldfinch and it’s definitely one of my top picks so far! Good Omens was also quite good :)

19. I don’t believe i have, atleast from my perspective on romantic love, i definitely am head over heels platonically in love with all my friends tho 💙

20. single!! for now i wanna focus on my education and finding stability :3

21. yeah, NO CONTEXT!!

22. my 11th birthday party, it was the first time i had introduced my childhood friends (seperate groups) and they clicked so well!! (were all sosososo close to this day as a group this time!)

23. probably my younger sister smashing a plate on my knee (i still have a scar to this day) and then I got in trouble for “making her cry” 😔

24. i.am.TERRIFIED!!!of CRABS!!! DDDD: i can deal with spiders and snakes but CRABS!?!? id rather die than be in the same vicinity as a crab.

25. I think im both! i love waking up early and having quiet mornings to myself (or busy ones!! quiet is rare in my house lol) but i also LOVEEE the night, especially with friends!

26. 1,195! about 1k of those is photos of my friends and the rest is like byler LMAOOOO

27. I know this is for like fictional crushes but my best friend in like the whole entire universe \(-v-)/ he (yes,HE!! it was comphet i was 6 give me a break) is like the best and funniest person ive ever met and am PROUD i had a “crush” on him, even if it was bcuz of comphet lol

28. 110% HA, i love little moments and meaningful gestures, especially relationships where they just know the person top to bottom 💙⭐️

29. probably either a coffee date or a cute at-home dinner :)

30. oh lord here we go LOL

-cooking

-baking

-cleaning (dont dunk on me its relaxing)

-electric guitar

-skateboarding

-rollerblading

-crocheting

-would burning cds count as a hobby? im counting it.

-reading

-art! (painting,sketching,art murals,pottery,etc!)

-badminton,tennis,volleyball 🫶

WHOOP I THINK THATS IT!!!!!!! :33

Let your followers get to know you asks <3

What's your name?

For how long you have this account?

Favourite food?

Favourite drink?

Do you have any siblings?

Do you have pets?

How old are you?

How many languages do you know?

What's your all time favourite movie/tv show?

What are you enjoying to do in your free time?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Your favourite music genres?

Your dream place to visit?

Something you wish you were better at?

How long do you take to respond to texts?

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would like to?

What's your sexuality?

Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book?

Have you ever been in love?

What's your relationship status?

Have you ever been heartbroken?

Best memory you could think of?

Worst memory you can think of?

Do you have any fears?

Are you a morning or a night person?

How many pictures you have on your phone?

Who was your favourite childhood crush?

Are you a romantic?

What’s your dream date?

What are your hobbies?

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AHSHSHA everyone getting their turn to be dragged around by otoya so real wait imagine when otoya drags Karasu and they come back and readers like “you left???” Karasu falls to his knees like “BRO I PLANNED YOUR FUNERAL AND WROTE YOUR EULOGY AND YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS GONE??? Fake ass friends” LMAOOOO

Ok this looks like a good length for a merger pursuit continuation here

FRRR no because i definitely thought “awwww family moment” too it just hit me a minute after like “NOOOO LAST FAMILY MOMENT EVER” but yeah anyways

LAAOAPA not aiku aikuing maybe he can just travel through dimensions and crawled through via oaeu, hence why he needed pursuit nikos help LMAO but that’s so funny reos mawile just absolutely smoking abomasnow right after they had (what zantetsu would dub) their super cool mega evolution transformation

OOOH actually lowk I think that pacing good? Gives reader the chance to develop a working team slightly earlier on I think having three kinda ready to go is nice (I know Karasu and Tullia are decked out in teams already but i mean if I were in her position I feel like there’s a good number where I know I won’t die if I’m left alone LMAOO) so i think you should be good in terms of pacing!

Guys we’ve been talking to a ghost type this entire time no wonder why you have all these plots and fics ready to go but I’m crying Nagi fr would not bother to say shit about it to chigiri and Reo so when the time comes and he SEES aegislash again he loses his mind this is so funny

BAAHAHAH no he would!!! Give her a cute little bow and a bath after her wound heals fr (UHHDHHSH BAROUUUUUUU) I was actually going to mention that! Ik in game you’re limited to one mega per battle and I’ve never seen multiple in the show (usually on the premise of having only a special bond with one pokemon) but I never actually knew if you could have multiple in the universe like that? Maybe like the games where multiple pokemon can hit you can only mega evolve one at a time that would fr be cool though is gyarados could mega evolve too!

AUDBSK yeah it’s too cringey for me like nooooooooo please stop (same goes for mommy like sorry bro) I can only handle the memes

LMAO NO be proud of the memes trust it’s just evidence of your well rounded genius dw

We’ve come a long way though omg I remember when the tag was just pokemon au and now it’s full on pursuit!!!

- Karasu anon

HELP karasu would actually be the one to be so offended because he absolutely loses it every time reader almost dies meanwhile he is SUFFERING at this mf chris prince meet and greet and she didn’t even realize he was gone?? he is so heartbroken (meanwhile otoya thinks it’s because reader trusts him so much…she actually does not she just thought he was off doing some ninja bs somewhere or smth)

DWW i’m sure there will be more flashbacks so not exactly the LAST family moment plus we have their sweet reunion to look forward to :)))) can’t wait for them to meet again!!

you can take aiku out of the oaeu but you CANNOT take the oaeu out of aiku it’s inevitable he will a) end up wingmanning and b) end up needing niko to help him out SDKJGSD please i bet zantetsu’s keystone is located in his glasses (kinda like maxie in omega ruby) and he does this entire elaborate posing performance in order to mega evolve and reo just stands there and lets it happen because he’s just confused tbh?? like wtf is bro doing…and then abomasnow mega evolves and zantetsu’s like “good luck trying to beat me and my super awesome strong pokémon now” one fire blast later and abomasnow is out for the count LMAOAOA okay wait another side story is otoya and zantetsu somehow meeting up??? idk if they’ve ever even interacted in canon but in PURSUIT canon i think they would have such a funny dynamic 😭 idiot x idiot chemical reaction…bonus points karasu and reo end up having to rescue them from some mishap meanwhile reader and nagi are having some weird rivalry moment and chigiri and tullia are just gossiping HAHA

agreed i think she def needs to start building the team earlier on especially because all of them but aegislash will need to evolve so there needs to be time in the story for that yk?? but i also don’t want her to have one pokémon while karasu has four and tullia has six because it’ll feel unbalanced…my thought process is that she and otoya catch pokémon at a pretty similar rate since they’re the two who start out with only one party member each and then karasu just has his birds evolving because he only has two pokémon he needs to catch and tullia’s pretty static in terms of team development!!

YOU GOT ME i’ve fr been possessed by a ghost type this entire time #baroukin LMAOAO no nagi does not say a WORD to them tbh i bet they wouldn’t even have worried if he hadn’t left ALL of his pokémon behind they probably would’ve been “oh yeah he’s just with his not-girlfriend it’s whatever” HAHA nagi seeing aegislash is def a top ten pursuit scene because the way reader doesn’t even think about it/hesitate before throwing aegislash into battle and nagi’s just like 😱 becuase until that point he just thought he had had a really good nap or smth and that’s why he came up with that crazy ass plot for a “dream” 😭

honestly i think it would make sense if reader could mega evolve both because she does have very close bonds with both of them??? like houndoom is her starter obviously but then she literally almost dies saving gyarados i think maybe if i decide to allow gyarados to mega evolve (maybe aiku gives her the mega stone for it in a rizz attempt) there’ll be some canon explanation of it being super taxing on the keystone so it’s only really feasible once per battle…not sure yet though because honestly reader’s gyarados is already terrifying enough in-verse idk if it needs the mega evolution buff i think the team x grunts might piss themselves 😩 they’re just lucky hydreigon can’t mega evolve that would be their final straw

NO YOU’RE SO REAL i can only see it used ironically (then i laugh) otherwise it’s just like oh…is this who we are…not trying to shame anyone who does enjoy it!! it’s just not for me (i also don’t like smut in general so that’s probably a contributing factor) also LMAOOO i love my silly memes i think posting my thoughts for bllk tumblr to see is one of my top hobbies i’m so unserious with it ngl

yesss once i actually post a story i try to tag anything related to it with the story title!! so now that pursuit is officially out all of the asks related to it get the pursuit tag (although our general pokémon discussions just get the pokémon au tag so that someone who’s looking specifically for pursuit content doesn’t get confused)

[todayisafridaynight]

NGL kind of curious to know what you meant with regard to Smile being a sad kind of funny but that may be an excuse to experience the show secondhand while getting out of actually watching it...

NEVERTHELESS Garden already seemed super promising like 6 minutes in and I'm sooooo glad to hear it follows through... his character reminded me a lot of Shizuka in The Travel Nurse right off the bat (highly positive sign, that's my wife) but also Whore With A Terminal Illness is one of my favorite tropes... AND I get to see boobs... waow...

Don't Cry Mr. Ogre is def cute <3 Due to an atrocious viewing experience (as usual I guess) I do not remember much of Wish except that Tsutsumi read through some of the cookbooks they used to decorate the home set to pass the time LMAO but I hope you enjoy the rest of the movie :) See you at stream later!

LMAO if yaint plannin on watchin it then ill drop the FATTEST spoiler bombs ever. i suppose. i mean the spoilers arent anything Epic i guess but anyways. gonna put this ask under a cut since it's just turning into a review at this point LMAO

it's 'sad funny' to me because throughout the show, Our Japanese-Filipino Bestie vito constantly tells his love interest that he'll become a stronger person and he'll become better to protect her- yk that whole spiel. the problem with this is that Even Literally Hours Before He's Due To Be Executed For Murder, he's still telling her this when it's like... throughout the series Literally Every Episode or every other episode he's crying and having to rely on other people. there's nothing wrong with crying or needing help but he never sticks up for himself or does thing on his own, he ALWAYS ends up getting help or needing help.

the one time he DOES stand up for himself and protect her he's being punished for it Aka Being Put On Trial For Murder and it just leaves a really weird taste in my mouth. usually when you watch a show or movie you're waiting for some kind of character development but for our guy, it's not really there and it's just kind of sad to watch. but funny because he keeps saying he'll get better. but mostly sad.

i think i understand the angle of 'being a foreigner/perceived as a foreigner in japan is so arduous it can make someone not want to put in the effort, or theyre too scared to'- a type of Learned Helplessness right. but he's our protagonist: we're meant to see him stand up to these prejudices and want to advocate for himself, and tell us 'hey, just because things ARE this way doesn't mean they should be and it's right'. it's only because of kazuma (our Spoilers Korean-Japanese friend) that he's able to be acquitted for the death penalty- a penalty he wanted to accept because of the murder he committed (btw the guy he killed was the biggest jackass ever. like irredeemable. like he got vito in jail years ago and kidnapped him prior to his murder and wanted to put ANOTHER assault charge on him)

i get really itchy thinking about it.... korea and the philippines were both persecuted by japanese imperialism Thats A Fact, yet SEAsians are treated MUCH more differently compared to east asians. it's kind of funny (sad) how asians dont like each other and that there's almost a list of ethnicities more likely to get harsher treatment right- but i guess im getting off topic. it is something that was itching the back of my mind the entire time watching though

i'll pivot away from that Real Talk depressing-ass topic tho LMAOOOO im not the kind of guy for those discussions. 'whore with a terminal illness' is the funniest description HELP BUT IT'S TRUE THAT'S LITERALLY HIS CHARACTER i couldn't help but think of The Travel Nurse when i started watching too funnily enough... BUT YEAH I DO REC IT it's SOOOOOO good..... love it when nakai gets a terminal illness and now he has to be a family man..... it's a really specific set of circumstances but they deliver every time lol..... the show's p (✿U‿◕✿) bout the boobage i guess is a way to put it LMAO LIKE THEY NEVER LINGER AND IT'S P CASUAL but it is there and it did make me go Eyo like three times. since this ask is under a cut im at liberty to say im only asking for ONE (1) squeeze JUST ONE <- i am forcibly removed from the studio

MR OGRE WAS DEF CUTE i kept getting reminded of my old track coach lol..... im also just a baseball enjoyer so Unfortunately I Too was just sitting in my chair biting my knuckles during shit like saito bunting the ball instead of following obuchi's directions... lmao... anyways... i'm sorry to hear your Wish viewing experience wasn't good- it's cute that ttm was reading cookbooks on set tho LMAO

this ask is already nine hours long so i'll say i REALLy enjoyed wish. i already said so in my past post LOL but ill say it again in that i love crime stories, yet an aspect of crime stories that always get excluded or aren't as looked at in-depth is the family of those involved, whether they're the criminals or victims' parents. wish does a wonderful job at showing that off, and it was just a grand experience watching this family have to cope with all the bullshit goin on around them while simultaneously trying to figure out what happened to their son AND what's the right thing to believe.... was very epic to me....

[thesolotomyhan]

ismael “el mayo” zambada nsfw alphabet

a/n: there will be one day when i will stop loving him but today is not that day nor is it near because his stupid ass smile gets me everytime and i hate it and him y me enamoro mas cada vez i cry but here it is i hope you guys enjoy this because this is def one of my favorite things ive written

warnings: nsfw, p*rn whatever you want to call it but  holy sh*t this mf is 7.6k words long, lmaoooo get comfortable mis bebes (the word count keeps going up everytime i write a new one lol) 

a-aftercare (what theyre like after sex)

hasta tiemblo thinking about it all because while i feel like he isnt that into it,, he would make an exception for you :( like let me explain before you blow up on me ,,, because ive always kind of pictured him as someone who could give less of a fuck about how the other person feels? he’s just there to be egoistic if he has ever had anyone before you and i just,,,, i picture him flipping all of his values and own rules right tf upside down when he meets you :) and it definitely applies to aftercare :) because i feel like before you,,he wouldnt seem to care enough to even try it,, its out the window on sight, but of course :) when he meets you :) his chula :) he starts to lean more into the idea of aftercare and i have kind of two ideas/ways it can go,, because i can def see him being like the prepared one ? like he would have almost all of your necessities on the nightstand right next to you so all he has to do is reach over and hand it to you, just being the type that’s prepared as in him not wasting a second if he even senses you need something,,, because he’s getting up and getting it for you or secondly i can see him being the type of being more of a guy that when you both come,, after a long session,, him just draping his body down on top of you,, letting you tiredly run your hands through his hair and back,,, him lightly feathering you in kisses on your shoulder just basking in the little aftershocks your body does post-orgasm,,, and just giving you a small kiss to your collarbone,, cocky smile on his face but with a light glint in his eyes ,, and just moving to lay beside you,, pulling your body on top of his ,, moving your head under his chin and on his chest while he caresses your back, kissing the top of your head like “estas bien?” as he holds you to him,, just wanting to make sure youre ok but of course if you even think about asking him about getting something for you,, his ass is just placing one last kiss on your shoulder :)) giving you a small “ey” and moving to get up to get whatever you asked for :))) te trata como reina pues :) and i cry to that sorry i am an easy bitch to please

b-body (favorite body part)

i could go all day long giving you guys the human anatomy and why its his favorite part because he would love everything about you but ill just settle and give you all this piece of information because,,,, legs,, legs,,, tus piernas hermosas mis reinas,,, hear me out alright,,, because whether is the way they look when you’re walking or :) him placing his hand on your thighs when your both seated next to eachother at some dinner party,, the way they look underneath a flow-y sundress or when youre rolling up stockings on your legs if you like those ,,, or :) when he has you spread out by your thighs for him,, or even him holding them when hes thrusting into you,, but i can just sense he would at least have some sort of fixation with your legs im sorry i only enforce the rules here because for a quick detour off of nsfw,,, i just see him somehow always gravitating towards them for some reason,,, like i mentioned maybe its when youre both at some party, dinner in some fancy place or whatever,, but when youre both sitting at a table,, him having your chair right bumped up next to his to have you close :) i can just see him (and i fall in love i swear) when i imagine him placing his hand on your thigh :) perhaps letting his fingers gently massage you there or just hold your inner thigh if he wants to and maybe its just so he can at least touch some part of you in a normal pda matter or maybe its because he just loves the feeling of them you know? or something else i can imagine,, is when hes at home with you after he just got there after being out on the boats all day,,, you giving :) him his plate :) para que come :) (domesticity i cry) but him loving to have you sit on his lap :) while he tells you about his day :) as he eats :) fuck im sorry but that shine in his eyes coming up on his face and brightening it all up everytime he looks upon you :(( one of his hands would be holding you by your thighs so you dont slip off ,, as he lets his thumb gently caress the side of your leg hnng can you guys tell im shaking ? or to add one last example for you guys and be domestic because im soft for shit like this,, but imagining :( him being on the couch with your legs propped up on his lap, and him absentmindedly just running his hand over your soft skin,, maybe youre both just watching whatevers on the television while hes talking to you but for some reason i love the image of how he doesnt stop his hands from running all over your legs as he looks at you in some lovesick smile,, tugging you by your legs so you can almost straddle him if you want but it’s such a soft moment if you can imagine it and ugh sorry to spill what i just said

but ooooOH of course i couldnt move on just yet because that just wouldnt be fair now would it,, and to start off my little adventure here,, im formally apologizing once again because i just have to bring up the sundress again because you wearing sundresses around this mf when he has this problem of not being self controlling of himself around you when he sees you either a) all dolled up and b) by showing off and your legs :) its a dangerous fuvking game youre playing but nothing beats the sight of you walking out of your shared bedroom wearing a sundress to wherever hes at in the house or when :) you come out :) by his boat :) to give him lonche :) because the way this mf would straight up from the start of seeing you zone in on your legs,, teasing ass smile and look he would be giving you as he gets up and heads towards you :) moving his arms around you :) planting a kiss on your lips and just running his hands down your body just kills me and not to kill the build up but i just know he would live for the sight of :) seeing your sundress all bunched up around your waist,, but it keeps falling down and covering your upper thighs when he fucks up into you when he has you propped up against something :) like the desperate kind of sex you know? where he would have his hand gripping your hip,, bringing the lower part of your sundress up so he can hold it with that same hand just so its out of the way,, and he can be able to see your pussy swallow him full, but with the way your body bounces after every thrust,, your dress keeps falling back down :) which only makes him :) groan out and pump into you rougher and rougher,, your breasts spilling out from the top part of your dress :))) im sorry and just one last detail,,, but of course in our old fashioned missionary :) he would just love to continuously hold your legs apart by your thighs everytime you try to close them around him when he thrusts into you :) just loving to hold onto the underside of your thighs and press them back into your chest as he continues to plow into you :) not sure if he wants to focus on the way your becoming more and more delirious as he pushes his cock into you while he holds your legs open for him :) or the way youre entire body bounces along with every thrust he does :)) or :) cuando te hace el amor :) the way i imagine him basically having his body draped over you,, one of your arms placed on his back as you hold onto him,, your other hand holding onto the back of his neck where it meets his hair :) the both of you messily trying to kiss but both of your heavy breathing interrupting the two of you :) him having one os his hands holding one of your legs,, hiking it further up up so you can rest it around his torso :) as he slowly but roughly pumps into you :))) hnnng wow

c-cum (anything to do with cum)

finish anywhere? yeah anywhere,,, both outside and inside of you ,, this man does not care nor discriminate as long as you make/allow him to come :) and mainly my strongest point for this reasoning is because i imagine he would have some sort of self control/awareness when he fucks you, like how do i say this,,, te tiene respeto to be front about it,, like if you make it known you don’t want him to cum inside of you he has that shit sitting in the back of his mind while he’s deep inside of you no matter how pussy drunk you have him, he’s able to hold himself back you know? :))) but ofc if you don’t mind :) or if it’s ok with you :) he would absolutely love the feeling of coming inside of you :) as your squeezing around him :))) ,, being able to see the sight of his cum dripping out of your soft pussy :) but that’s just me :)

d-dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

ok lets start off with something- it’s something about him that gives me voyeriusm and im not talking about him outright fucking you in front of someone sitting 2 inches away that’s able to see the whole thing, so no dont look at me like that and stop thinking about that because what i mean by that is he basically likes you to be as loud as you want when he fucks you, i think i talked about this before but i think he would not give a second thought/f*ck if there’s people or his guys in the house/around when he’s fucking you,, instead it boosts his ego towards the roof that he can coax you to produce so many noises that it’s too hard for you to keep quiet which just in turn makes him get an even cockier attitude to those around him,(omg please dont get me started on the thought of him having the most dirtbag look in his eyes,, cocky attitude plastered high onto his fucking forehead if he does this prior and knowing he would have some bum associate / one of his men needing to get him some information,, and they walk into the house and your high pitched moans are the first thing they hear :) and not long after :) his ass coming down :) clearly fucking sex drunk from you :) but ready for business talk while you rest up in the bedroom :) hngg) , im not sure if theres a specific name for this,, but thats basically what i think would be his “dirty secret”,, because he would never outright voice it out loud to you that you being as loud as you want while others are around gets him going,, he kind of just encourages you to do it for him during the deed you know? you just unknowingly indulge him you feel?

e-experience (is he experienced or not?)

soo just to check in with everyone once again and make sure we’re all on the same page as i am ? we have all seen the cocky fuvkin attitude this man carries right? how egoistic he can be at times?? thats the type of vibe i always seem to pick up whenever i rewatch any of his scenes ,, right ok,,, so it just makes sense ?? that this man has had his fair share of viejas ,, but with no feelings tied to any of them?and i know we don’t actually openly see him with anyone throughout s3,,, but damn it’s just the aura i get from him that makes me believe hes medio usado , for the streets,, thats the big thing here that i see him as being ,,, like especially that saying he’s always going on about ? “es que me gusta ser mi propio patron” head ass - that in itself just ties the knot for me on him since for me it means that this man is his own self , hes independent ,, and does not give a single fuck about anyones feelings besides his socios because that’s a whole different page ok? pero tu? su reina?? HIS CHULA?? the one who turned his whole sappy love life upside fuckin down in an instant and made him feel things hes never felt before ? yeah goodbye ,,he lays everything down for you if you even think of it because te trata como his reina del imperio, wow sorry to steer off of our main topic here but yeahh hes had his experience reached to a good level :) so he would :) definitely :) know the best :) way to get you on edge :) stimulate you right off the bat :) and just,, be a quick learner as soon as he catches up on what exactly you like,, he can just pick up on anything :) and :)) know like an expert on the first second :) where you like to be touched and held :)

f-favorite position 

my god- i feel like i could come up with so many different scenarios for each different position i can think about for him because i feel like hes open to a lot of them and i feel like he for sure likes more than 1 position and i just cant definitively pinpoint the number 1 favorite because hes open to it all sorry ,, but ohh this will be fun ,, i know i could easily list missionary because WOW right? so what sue me im a simple creature and i just love the thought of this position with mayo,, because you cant lie and tell me its not one of the most intimate positions because for 1. its a great position for the both of you guys to see the other in such an close space and 2) this mf,, mi mayo,, will make this position feel like anything other than missionary when the mood is set right like :) bending your legs until they almost reach your chest (like bending you right in f*vkin half ) or as far apart as your legs can go or him wrapping both of your legs around his waist,, the upper part of body still laying back on the bed and him just pumping into you just so he can get that angle and hit it over and over again inside of you,, him being able to see your entire body react in time with each snap of his hips into you or the way you arch into him when he drags his hand down the front of your body,, :) gripping onto your bouncing breasts as he slams into you,,, his eyes being able to see the way you would roll your eyes back into your head,, the pretty moans of his name spilling past your lips as you just helplessly lay there,, your hands not knowing if they want to grip the bedsheets every time he roughly thrusts back into your sopping pussy or if they want to dig into the skin on his chest to let out some of your frustrations as tears form in your eyes,, god im just hnng- and to not end things here,, maybe sometimes :) this position can move into something like :) him moving your legs to fully wrap around his waist,,, his hands moving under your back and pushing you up so your kind of sitting up with him :))) one of your arms coming to wrap around his shoulders :) your other hand planting itself onto his bicep (hnng can you just imagine the way his shoulders and biceps would be fuvkin flexing as he holds you) :) digging your nails into him while that same arm of his is holding onto your ass,, helping you bounce along with his thrusts :) his other hand is just dragging itself up and down your back :) you throwin your head back from the new angle hes pumping into you from :)) him moving his head down towards your bouncing breasts,, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples,, :) your moans becoming louder and louder as he rapidly pumps into you,, your hand thats around his shoulders coming to tangle into his hair, making him groan into you and making his grip on your ass become tighter, :) slamming yor hips down onto his pelvis :) the both of you trying to kiss the other but you cant help but spill out your whines and squeeze around him as you look down on him - wow ok um ill just leave this -

but again of course , im adding in a bit more because i have a feeling one of you guys might attack me if i leave it as i have this because missionary might be too simple so here para que no se me enojen because something else i feel like he would do is spooning :)) like in the mornings :) morning sex to be exact:))) where he would have your back to his chest :) essentially spooning you to him,,, one of his arms under you and being able to hold your breasts or travel up and hold your neck :) his other hand is holding one of your legs up :) so he can slide into you repeatedly easier, your soft moans mixing in with the sounds of his cock pumping into your slick pussy filling the room up, one of your hands would be reaching behind you :) and holding onto his hair when you feel him pepper kisses onto your neck :) you turning your head back occasionally to meet his mouth with your own,, hnng his hand thats on your breast :) moving to tweak your hardened nipple :)) his other hand that was supporting your leg, traveling down :) to your swollen clit :) wetly rolling it in between his fingers,, smiling against you when you break away from his lips to toss your head back,, your moans spilling out like the air you breathe :) and with the pinshe vista of mazatlan in front of you both :) i cant oh go- but also not me wanting to imagine how i know he would love to have you in that position, you know with your back to his chest but sitting up :) reverse cowgirl :))) but with this mirror thats propped up in front of you in your bedroom instead of the vista :) the thought of you being able to fully see how your pussy can take him full,, your breasts perfectly bouncing on time every time he thrusts up into you,, him holding your legs open :) one of his fingers :) playing with your clit :) and you being able to see his eyes :) through the mirror :) as you scrunch your face up from pleasure and how stimulating youre feeling from both the feeling of him and the view :)) hearing him groan out behind you when he feels you flutter around him :) and you throwing your head back against his shoulder,, his fingers just applying more and more pressure as he snaps his hips from roughly up into you,, him sucking little hickies onto your shoulder and along your neck :) praising you :) and just saying something like “su puta madre- mirame mi reina” wanting you to look back at him through the mirror :) im- him just encouraging you until you deliriously look up again only to lose all common sense and thought when you see him, again through the mirror,, and feel him and watch him :)) spread your pussy lips apart with his fingers :)) exposing yourself even more to him as he thrusts his cock up into your slick heat , an mesmerized look in his eyes as he watches you react :) small smirk on his face when he sees you scrunch your eyebrows together, you keening back into him again and im so sorRY woW

g-goofy (is he more serious or more humerous during the moment?) 

i see him not being too serious but not too goofy ya feel me ? i would say he’s definitely fuckin cocky all the time and there might be times he makes the both of your dreamily sex drunk minds smile lazily at eachother because of something he let slip out of his mouth or something,, but it’s all definitely heartfelt almost and in the moment passion, but never too much goofy-ness? it’s just right

i-intimacy (how are they during the moment?)

intimacyyy,, when it comes to you,,,,,, i def can see him leaning into his more intimate side ,, being so much more intimate than he would be with anyone else that exists in the world , eres special for him, especially if your relationship with him has gone on for a good while it just cranks it up even more,, i feel like other than him wanting to ruin you and see you walk funny for the next week which makes him get that even cockier attitude with everyone else,, it’s definitely something special for him to be able to let his walls down for once with you by being intimate and be able to tell you physically el nomas es para tu, and nothing will ever change that now, and so i feel like there will be days maybe specifically on some special occasion where he takes things slow for once and shows you how much he really does love you and how whipped you have him just to remind you where he stands with you :( because again as much as he tries to act all egoistic, it’s a drastic difference when it comes to you on the daily and he definitely tries to let you know that intimally when he can and doesn’t want to make you cockdumb-

j-jack off (does he jack off? how often etc)

ok,,, so sure maybe before you i could see him having his own time to himself and all,it’s definitely crossed his mind ,, but it wouldn’t be excessive nor it it be a regular occurrence ,, i have a feeling like before you it was more of little to none,, and i say that because i feel like he’s always so busy with his boat and negocios and all that that i feel like he wouldn’t take the time off to have time for himself, ? if you get what i mean ? but he’s definitely done it once or twice but it’s rare you know? i feel like he’d rather find some other method - or someone iykyk what i mean by that but when you do waltz into his life,, i just see him keeping the same vibe? he never / very rarely on the 0.01% does it because he has you now ,, you get his needs done and over-the-topped with so he sees no other method that can do that for him which includes even his own fist, so i see him as someone would would rather wait for any and all urges he may have until he has you with him, he doesn’t care for jacking off by himself

k-kink (one or more of their kinks)

hnnng i have already made a whole ass kink list for him so its tough for me to think of something else so I’ll just give you all this because listen, bondage,,, ,,\listen listen,,, mayo works on boats right,, its his front to cover up what he really does but hes continuously always working on his boat catching camarones,,, and we’ve seen him work on nets right? now im only reading the rules off to you guys so dont look at me because you cant tell me he doesnt know or at least an expert in tying knots because wow,, i just know he knows some special shit and if youre open to it :) best believe hes going to know the best way to tie you up :)) while he gets to fuck you :))) just- its such a sight for him to see you struggling :) not a single way for you to wiggle away from him :) when he has you spread out for him :) him chuckling when he gets you so desperate for him when he opens your legs for him,, slowly and agonizly thrusting his cock into you,, this thumb ghosting over your clit so him not giving you any buildup whatsoever even though youre throbbing around him,, the only thing you can really do as youre helplessly laying there is whine out to him,, trying to thrust your own hips up into him for any release while he just gives you the cockiet smirk ever and i cant do this byeE im about to -

l-location (favorite places to do the deed)

to be simple,,, i can always see him being intimate and doing the deed at home, probably even at almost any damn surface you can find hes probably had his way with you,, but best yet in your own shared room,, because only then does he actually 100% know no one is going to walk in and see what only he should be able to see ? he could care less how loud you want to be when youre both going at it at in your bedroom because as long as no one sees your body hes great,, i feel like he definitely likes the idea of privacy because then :) he can do as he pleases with you :) with no rush which is just fan-fucking-tastic for him, you know like take his time, and have his fun with you and the same for you,, its just a safe space basically for you both do to whatever you please,,, but obviously besides the comfort and “freedom” of your own shared bedroom which i feel 98% everything happens in there because its a place for sure no one can bother the two of you as ive said,, but :) i did mention “voyeuristic” vibes to an extent right ? wellll >:) i see no problem with him taking risks as hed like with you,,, loving to see the sight of either you or him whoever took the initiative to see the other crumble and try to be as quiet as possible so no one gets the clear idea of what you two are doing :) like he for sure has done it on his boat with you :),, at a party in some random but private place, but not private enough that either of you can make too much noise :) but yeah,, i can see him doing to do really almost any location if youre down, but leaning on the latter he likes doing it at home :)

m-motivation (what motivates them)

what gets him going? in all honesty, it does not take much for him when it comes to you,, something ive always pictured and imagined when it comes to him and getting him in the mood is the way you could look at him in a certain way and he’s forgetting whatever task hes at hand with and giving you his full attention,, or :) if you’re looking to get him all the way in until he’s making sure to absolutely ruin you by the first round is if you tease him, and you can definitely go down the road of wearing something skimpy and just going from there,, but it can also be you being more atrevida , giving him looks :) touching him “innocently” :) and then leaving him alone for the next hour like you didn’t just acknowledge him :) , so it takes little to no effort really to get him going,, he’s always down for you

n-no (something he wont do)

would hate to share you,, thats it,, or even the simple fact that someone looks at you for far too long/eating you up with their eyes you know? and yeah i feel like it goes for everyone because i keep seeing this pattern i do for this letter but its true, and it definitely applies to mayo here because he seems like the type to get bothered so quick he just doesn’t like to voice it or let it notice, and he just doesn’t ever like to admit he gets jealous to say the least on simple terms,, because i can just picture when some bum is eyeing you up or when someone is trying to talk you up into a more than friendly way,, this man would be lowkey throwing the harshest glare known to man at whoever is trying to take your time, his jaw starting to clench up,, and just trying to scoot you as close as possible to him just to quietly make it known your accompanied,, and i shit you not he probably starts to get a little more pda thrown out there like holding your hand, pecking the side of your head, maybe squeezing you tighter against him in the most nonchalant way to make sure you don’t get the hint he’s starting to get bothered,, lol and if you turn to look at him,, he’s back to normal, as cool as a cucumber and giving you a soft smile, and ugh him giving you an even bigger smile if you lean in to kiss him, boosting his attitude even more and once you turn around again, his fucking anger comes back but directed at whoever’s in front of you until he makes them uncomfortable heh, not wanting to descalate things into bigger shit because he doesn’t want that kind of attention you know? he kind of knows how to keep himself in check enough to not cause chaos ;) hnnnng but if you do :) try to push his buttons :) and entertain whoever it is :) is trying to talk you up :) best know the jealous sex :) is going to hit different :)) because he hates the idea of you being anyone else’s but his and i stand by my case :))))

o-oral (is he into oral? giving? recieving? 

both he is both go ahead and try to change my opinion turned fact,,, because give him the time,, and the view of you spreading your legs for him with the most atrevida look on your face and he’s already on his knees in front of you,, with his hands holding your legs even more open for him, dragging your body down to his face so he has better access,,,, his face pushed into your heat as his tongue spreads your folds,, just lapping you up through your soaked lips,, pushing :) his tongue into you, it has his fucking nose bumping your clit everytime he moves,,, im,, :) ugh him never moving his eyes away from your face, his smirk being hidden away from your folds, picking his pace up eveytime you look down at him through half-lidded eyes,, him grunTinG into you when your hands tangle into his hair and pull with fistfulls,,the vibrations from his muffled grunts shaking you through your core,, you cant help but lift your hips up :) to grind against his face him :) moving one of his hands down to spread your folds apart for him :) so he can focus on your clit with his mouth :)) wrapping his arms around your thighs so you cant move your hips so much against him :) just :)sucking your clit into his mouth :) not letting any of your slick go to waste :))) your moans and his name coming off of your lips higher each time it only encourages him to hold you in place for him even more until hes satisfies with how he leaves you :) hnng ,, going down on you would for sure bring him as much pleasure as you would be feeling :)

and ofc he is never one to ever turn down from receiving when it comes to you :)) seeing you on your knees is just a sight for him to enjoy way too much,, seeing your lips that he loves so much :) wrapped around his cock willingly :) ugh bye,,, , your eyes becoming teary as you look up at him,, some tears managing to run down your cheeks but him wiping them away as he grunts out watching you , mesmerized ,,, just you pushing his cock all the way into your mouth as much as you can fit :) until you gag on him :)) one of your hands is prettily resting at the base of his crotch :) and your other braced on his upper thigh :)) his hand is tangled into your hair to control the speed :) im- him throwing his head back slightly when you hollow your cheeks :) and he cant help but thrust his hips gently and gradually to meet the bobs of your mouth against him :) SoRry i just- ok

p-pace (is he slow and sweet? or fast and rough?)

oh my god ,,,, he is the type to give those slow, deep and rough strokes one minute but then absolutely jackhammer into you it has your body bouncing uncontrollably you have to blindly bring your hand down to hold some part of him because he could easily switch in a second to either pace,, so i want to say both,, because for one scenario,, like regular sex ? i feel like he has a buildup going on with him,, like como te digo,,, even on nights when hes fast and rough with you,, in the very beginning, when he first slides into you,, he starts slow and sensual you know? and then he just gradually builds his pace up from there until he starts pounding you into the bed you forget even what day of the week it is, and i feel like this type of sex is happening 95% of time you both take,, because i mean he loves seeing you go cockdumb ok,,, but ofc i can see him being slow and sensual sometimes, usually i can see it for when its a special occasion maybe, and he wants to make it special and vulnerable,, hacerte el amor pues,, so he’ll do slow and deep thrusts but his thrusts would still make you shake every time he bottoms out fully in you,, his hips rubbing against your pubic mound it makes you roll your eyes back wow :),, but hes a mix of both,, just leaning a bit more into rough and fast

q-quickie (is he into quickies?)

while i see him loving to drag any and all time he has for you ,, it doesn’t mean he wont push quickies out of the picture,,, while i feel like he wouldnt rely too much on quickies because he prefers the buildup without the rushing,, sometimes the ganas to have you are too much for him to patiently wait until he gets home to you,, so quickies are something the both of you might do if either 1) the teasing you both do to eachother become too much at some party or something so he takes you to the nearest secluded spot to release some tension,, or 2) it might be something where when the business starts to take off and hes not home all the time as he would like to be with you,, and quickies might bridge those gaps like early morning showers together for example :) or a quick morning sex thing just so youre both content for the time being but other than that, he definitely makes it all up in the end when time is available, he just uses quickies for when either of you break out in public :) or when things get tight

r-risk (does he take risks? experiments?)

would take risks in like the air he breathes ,,yes he’s all for it to be honest,, some of the ways i can see him taking such risks would be like car sex :) or maybe in some coat closet at some boring party,, :))) or up against the wall somewhere secluded enough but still running the risk someone curios enough to round the corner if they hear something could catch the two of you :)) i kind of explained it a bit earlier but i feel like he would definitely like the feeling of the rush/adrenaline that someone could walk around the corner or something and find you both in the middle of it,, going hard,,, because its really something about it (if he began it first) to see you try to hold yourself together as he has you up against the wall of some place, your hands palming and gripping onto his clothed back and shoulders as he thrusts up into you,, the overwhelming sensation of his hips snapping up into you in a rush, his hands grasping your legs and ass under this dress you you would have as he holds you up,, his face buried in between your neck that youre not sure if its to muffle himself from grunting too loudly if its for him to pepper kisses and bite into your skin to try and get some noise out of you just because hes feeling cocky :) and he wants to see you struggle even further than you are right at that moment and wow- but best believe the roles could most definetly switch if youre up for it :) maybe you giving him head :) because he was bored at some party you both would be at :) and what better way for you to help him with his problem by giving him a distraction :) his hand thats grabbing ahold of your hair struggling to not mess your hair up too much,, him struggling to hold his groans in and he just cant help himself but slowly thrust into your mouth when he hears you slightly gag on him :) hnng sorry im just enforcing it upon you guys that yeah hes down for taking risks no matter the place if youre comfortable enough :))

s-stamina (how long can he last?)

i want to say that i imagine he can go pretty far,, :)) he loves the sight of you having aftershocks after sex from both the intensity and time he took with you,, so i just have to say his stamina is definitely up there somewhere enough so he can fullfill that promise and sight for the both of you,, and he’s never one to turn you down whatsoever no matter what, so if you even ask him either verbally or con tus ojitos hes signing his name down to take care of anything for you and your pleasure,, he definitely vows to some secret shit that he wants to make every orgasm he makes you have to be better than the last, so he gets his stamina in check for you

u-unfair (how often does he tease?)

ok so again,, i just know he getss a kick out of it when he hears how desperate you can get for him,,(like the foreplayyyy my guys im telling you all,, because the build-up from him getting you to your breaking point before he even gets to fuck you fully is just my absoulte favorite palete sorry,, but anyways,,, i feel like he has a thing for when hes continuously teasing you,, and then giving into you but backing away all together when he feels youre about to cum,, and just the way your moans and breaths come out quicker,, the way your body might seem more sensitive and reactive to either his hand lightly traveling over your body pleases him to no extent, he loves the whole package of teasing alright ,,

but im sorry to add in that i also love the idea of you teasing him back :) like if you wear clothing thats barely covering you at all and not giving him any attention so much it gets him desperate for you is just ugghhh or when youre encabronada at him for some stupid shit he mightve pulled to get him on your nerves and if he doesnt see any wrong in whatever he did :) you just playing along with him when youre at your point,, indulging him in things like making out with him, wearing lingerie perhaps :)),,, maybe youre on top of him when hes leaned back on your shared bed frame ready to get ready to go to sleep but you have other plans :) like you starting to grind your hips down onto his :) building him up until hes heavily breathing against you,, his grip on your hips rock hard as you lean down to kiss him :) your hand coming in between you both,, under his pants, :))))) beginning to palm his hard on and getting him built up even more as you pump him in your hand,, and just when hes on the verge of coming :) you stopping everything and just getting up :) giving him this fake smile as he looks up at you all drunk but confused on why you stopped until you remind him that youre mad at him :) and youre not giving him the satisfaction of releasing :))) y that you want him sleeping on the couch for the rest of the week as you move to get yourself ready for bed,, acting like he doesnt even exist at the moment lol,, ayy you literally make him get blue balls and i laugh he probably wont ever do any dumb shit after all of this to be honest but i just love the thought of you teasing him back to the full extent as well :)

v-volume (is he loud while doing it?)

his volume,,, i dont see him doing a lot or overboard for that matter,, what i picture coming from him are groans and grunts ? but only for you to hear, so he’s either always grunting into your skin when he’s thrusting into you repeatedly or groaning in your ear when he feels you scratch down his back and shoulders or :) when he feels you tighten around him as he snaps his hips into yours :) or something else that falls under volume is the way he will whisper/lowly speak shit to you or praise you :) ,, just letting it be known to you how good you’re making him feel and all :))) and when it comes to you, ive said it before and i still stand by it he lives and breathes for volume / noises coming from you :) it makes him know he’s doing shit right if he’s coaxing you to make those noises for him :) and it only boosts his encouragement/ego if he hears you go louder :)))

w-wild card (something random)

i am currently screaming because im reading off of my little brainstorming list of ideas i have for him , dont look at me,, and i cant choose,, i want to share them all but ofc this whole work is long enough so let me just focus on one thing here because get this ,, i was originally going to add this into his nsfw headcanon i wrote a while back but i chickened out and scribbled it out in my final draft but it’s always been on the back of my mind and everytime i come to add something down on mayos ideas/left over writing, it’s one of the first fucking things i see which :) is cockwarming , now hold on let me tell you something because you know how i keep saying that i feel like he loves to see you lose your common sense by the seconds if hes teasing you or just building you up ? :) c*ockwarming is one of those traits :) because hes inside of you,, filling you to the brim as he :) perhaps :))) has you on top of him,, while hes slouched back :) youre just fluttering around him, your nails digging into his clothed chest/shoulders ,, him not wanting you to move or grind against him :) he just wants you on top of him with his cock inside of you,, and if you do try to move him :) him stopping you by gripping your hips,, :) quieting your whimpers :) by kissing you :)) whispering soft praises into you hnng im sorry i cant or something else i can picture thats somewhat differently is when he has you in bed,, and it happens during foreplay,, right before hes going to fuck you,, like :))) maybe him pushing your final button by sliding into you,, but stopping once hes all the way in you and staying there,, :) distracting you by kissing your lips :) and when you slightly buck your hips up into his to like signal him youre ready :) him coming to hold your hips down towards the bed in a harsh grip :) so you cant move :),, him leaning his body back so he can see you fully, youre eyes half closed, mouth open with small pants coming out from the pressure of his cock filling you all the way :)))) him just pushing his cocky side of his attitude out that he has by bringing one of his thumbs to massage circles onto your clit :)) wanting to see how he can make you moan this way without pumping into you :) just filled completely by him only and feeling your warmth wrapped around him wow ok

y-yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

probably average to high?? and i say that because i feel like his yearning is definitely always sitting on the back of his mind simply because i can picture him always wanting or needing to touch/hold some part of you when he has you near him and i dont know if it’s because he’s whipped for you so much he just needs to feel you next to him :) or if maybe he likes having that security sense that he has you close to him in case something goes sideways and he can protect you but it might be both,, so i feel like all of that definitely transfers to his yearning/sex drive to say the least since i feel like he’s always down for whatever as long as you give the green light to him,, because for example say his name once in the most neutral or even yet the softest tone ever and he’s internally turning into a puddle because it’s you his favorita mujer/tesoro de sus ojos that’s calling out to him and he’s dropping everything pendiente to see why you need him and :) if it’s you :) needing him :) or showing him a surprise :)))) of you wearing something :) his ass is 100% ready :) just imagine a light switch if you will when it comes to his yearning, he keeps it away when not needed but he’s ready to go once you say so :)

z-zzz (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)

listen he won’t ever admit it,, but he turns into such a sap for you after sex, even if he’s cocky 99% of the time,, i know mi hombre like no other because you both were just being intimate with one another , even if he fucked you into no tomorrow but you both were literally at your most vurnable points he can’t help but literally let all of his walls down (not that he doesn’t already with you around ) but he feels like it’s his “duty” to make sure you’re alright and attended to ? so he definitely waits for you to fall asleep first, and in the meantime :) i can most definitely as i slam my hand down see him filling up the time in between you slowing down your heavy breaths to the time you fall asleep by just holding you against him, your head just on his chest as he wraps his arm around your shoulders,, saying the most random shit it would have you softly giggling against him, ugh him planting soft kisses to the top of your head,, loving the feeling :( of you cuddling against him :( your hand that’s on top of his chest probably drawing random figures but it makes him burst on the inside :( and ughhh him just holding you closer when he sees you starting to fall asleep :(( giving you hardcore h e a r t e y e s :(

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let me know if you want to be added! 

[melis-writes]

oo what if Victoria told Michael about Arthur, a lawyer she went out with, years after they got married 😏can u imagine Michael’s jealousy esp cause Arthur is someone she has a lot these in common with 😭😭

Omgggggg!! Okay, I definitely missed writing jealous Michael, honestly lmaoooo! 😂😳❤

“Sooooo…” You slip off your kitten heels, curling up next to Michael on the patio swing with a grin. “You must have missed me, huh?”

“Did I?” Michael murmurs, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “I missed you all last night but I certainly wouldn’t miss seeing the sight of dozens of lawyers stuffed in one room.”

“Fair enough,” you giggle, unable to help yourself from blushing at the sight of Michael so relaxed and casual; only in a loose white dress shirt with the unbuttons halfway undone and a pair of black trousers—his hair simply brushed through and tousled as the two of you spend time with one another at the estate’s gazebo.

“How was it, baby?” Michael pulls out his cigarette pack from the pocket of his trousers before planting a kiss over your cheek. “I know I didn’t get a proper chance to ask how the reunion went last night because you were so exhausted.”

“Oh, I think if you asked I’d probably have fallen asleep answering the question halfway.” You admit, sheepishly. “I didn’t expect the event to last so long, for one and I almost certainly didn’t expect everyone to show.”

“Full party, hmm?” Michael puts a cigarette in his mouth, tossing his pack onto the patio table next to him. “All the graduates from 1945 were there?”

“Just about,” you nod as Michael takes out his lighter and cups his hand around the flame to light up his cigarette. “Salvatore Romano’s family was there too, you know. I know he technically never ‘graduated’, per say as he should have, but his parents knew how much he loved Dartmouth so they wanted to have a little celebration to honour his memory.”

“Hmm.” Michael leans back, relaxing his muscles as you both swing back and forth slowly. “I would have hoped you’d remind that brother of yours about this.”

“No use, believe me.” You cross your arms with a soft sigh. “I got so emotional just seeing them cry over Salvatore’s graduation portrait, I had to actually separate myself from them. They didn’t come to celebrate, they came to grieve.”

“Understandable,” Michael nods at you, “but at the same time their loss isn’t shared by everyone else. I don’t personally see it appropriate to do that at a celebration, but a funeral.”

“Right.” You run your hands up and down Michael’s arm as his hand rests over your thigh, massaging as you go. “I decided the only way I was going to enjoy my evening tear free was seeing all my colleagues and sorority sisters there too. Lots of familiar faces.”

“I always found it interesting we were both involved with sororities and fraternities.” Michael gazes at you. “Wouldn’t surprise me if Niccolo and Verona did the same.”

“Very true.” You chuckle, “but also too soon to tell. Is it true that’s where you met most of your girlfriends?”

“My girlfriends?” Michael raises his brows at you, but doesn’t sense any semblance of jealousy from your tone of voice or over your expression.

“Yeah.” The grin on your lips grows wider as you gently nudge Michael. “Or was Fredo lying to me all those years back when he told me Moe Greene teased you about ‘all those cheerleaders’ you went out with?”

“Fredo,” Michael rolls his eyes and takes a short drag out of his cigarette. “Of course Fredo told you. No, it wasn’t a lie. That did happen.”

“How many?” Curiosity grows in your eye as you tug on Michael’s arm. “Tell meee…”

“Baby, who cares?” Michael rests his head against the patio swing cushion, looking at you. “Nothing but pointless college flings and relationships years back—unless it’s bothering you?”

“Bothering me?” You burst into a fit of giggles, shaking your head. “Don’t be ridiculous, why would that bother me? You take me as the very jealous type?”

“Maybe.” Michael chuckles, holding his cigarette between his fingers and stealing a kiss from your lips. “Either way, it amuses me. Why do you ask?”

“Just seems like something the Michael Corleone would do.” You smirk, shrugging your shoulders innocently.

“College flings are pointless.” Michael flicks off the ashes on the tip of his cigarette. “You’ve had them yourself, hmm?”

“Yeah, very, very pointless and spontaneous.” You agree, “just one casual relationship and the rest is history.”

Michael pauses, instantly feeling a spike of jealousy shoot through him. “Casual relationship?”

“Hmm?” You blink back at Michael, having no intention on purpose to actually make him jealous as the words just slipped out of your mouth.

“You were in a relationship with someone?” Michael’s eyes dart back to you as he puts his cigarette in his mouth.

“Yeah, but just one.” You exhale softly, relaxing. “That was waaaaaay back, I’m talking 1942, 1943.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” Michael points out. “I would have remembered.”

“Would you?” You hold back your giggles, “does it maaaaaatter, Michael? Years and years ago, remember? It’s all water under the bridge now. He and I bumped into each other last night and—”

“Who is he?” Michael’s question comes out much more stern than even he anticipated to speak out as.

“Michael, baby,” you can’t help but almost feel a little thrilled at the sudden sight of Michael growing very jealous. “Come on.”

“He was a lawyer too?” If anything, Michael feels his blood run hot just asking the questions.

Although the relationship you and Arthur Kirkland had was over a decade ago before you and Michael even knew of one another, just the mention of another man loving you and being with you romantically stuns Michael with immense possessiveness.

“Mhmm. His name is Arthur Kirkland.” You decide to play along, knowing the most Michael will do is accompany you to Dartmouth reunions as your husband but nowhere near anything violent or ridiculous such as how your brother Lorenzo had Salvatore Romano killed.

An instant look of annoyance crosses over Michael’s face as he diverts his attention to his cigarette. “Two lawyers dating one another, huh? How did that happen?”

You get that it’s a rhetorical, sarcastic question but there’s no way you’re not answering it now. “We had more than enough in common and couldn’t stop bumping into each other outside of lectures and seminars, let alone in class.”

“Should have married him.” Michael mutters, blowing out smoke to his side.

“What’s that?” You lean in, giggling. “Is that…?” You kiss the tip of Michael’s nose, “jealousy?”

“You’re teasing me.” Michael rolls his eyes. “I am no such thing, I was merely curious.”

“Sure, sure.” You laugh softly, plopping back down on the patio swing and putting your feet up on Michael’s lap. “I saw how fast your mood changed the minute I mentioned it! So Michael Corleone can date cheerleaders but I’m the bad guy for dating Mr. Kirkland?”

“Not at all, I wouldn’t imply so.” Michael puts out his cigarette, not impressed at all whatsoever with the conversation. “Just that you saw him last night, didn’t you?”

“Uh huh,” you graze your tongue over your teeth as Michael begins to rub over your legs and thighs. “Of course he was there, we graduated together.”

“My absence aside, I’m sure the two rocks on your fingers told him you were happily married.” Michael gestures to your engagement ring and wedding band over your hands.

“Mhmm.” You giggle quietly. “Don’t worry, he knows. He congratulated me about it. It’s hard to miss, not like that jealousy of yours.”

“You can keep saying that word but it has no meaning to me.” Michael pulls you up onto his lap by your thighs. “All I know is that you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“All I know,” you repeat after Michael, cupping his cheeks. “Is that you’re jealous.”

“Victoria—” Michael groans in annoyance.

“And sooooo sexy,” you tease, kissing him over the mouth. “Mmm, mwah. You’re mine now and forever,” you hold up Michael’s ring finger, waving his hand in his face. “Just as we promised each other eight years ago. No cheerleaders involved.”

“No ‘Arthur Kirkland’ involved.” Michael squeezes your thighs, looking at you expectantly.

“All gone and forgotten in the past, baby. You’re still jealous though,” you giggle quietly as you straddle Michael’s lap.

“Stop saying that word and just kiss me already.” Michael rolls his eyes again, leaning into you.

[ssahotstuff]

HOME//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader PART 6

Summary: Emily Prentiss convinces Aaron Hotchner to get a nanny, and she knows the perfect girl for the job. You.

word count: 14K holy wow lmaooo

Warnings for this series: SMUTTTT of all the types, minors DNI!! any minors that interact with my work with be blocked! my blog is 18+, violence, depictions of ab*se, terror, cursing, drug/alcohol content, death, crime, in-depth explanations of abuse, trauma, etc, mentions of scars from abuse, this part is a wild ride tbh. proceed with caution

also this is formatted so weird i had to do half on my desktop and half on my phone and ill fix it whenever im not crying lmaoooo

no smut in this chapter. pregnancy warning, also a warning for like anxiety maybe? this made me anxious to read and i wrote it

ALL PREVIOUS PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

as always you are loved, you are wonderful, and i hope you enjoy.

You felt like right when you needed him most, he was right back to being cold again. When you'd finally woken up, it was almost ten AM. He was gone already, and Emily was in his place.

"I brought you coffee and donuts," she said softly, seated at the kitchenette table. You joined her, gratefully taking the coffee.

"Where is he?"

She sighed, hand on yours from across the table.

"He needed a few. He'll be back."

"Of course he did. My brother dies and he needs a few."

"Y/N. It isn't like that. He has other priorities also, you know that."

"I know. I don't mean to be rude. I just want to be left alone," You muttered, taking your coffee in the general direction of the bedroom and away from Emily.

"Hotch said you quit your birth control," she was following you with a paper bag, and you almost got scared that he'd had your prescription refilled behind your back.

"I did."

"I know you have a lot going on, but you're especially moody. Hotch said you've been complaining about being moody for weeks."

"I was on the pill for a long time," you rationalized, and she opened the bag and handed you a pregnancy test.

"There's no way I'm pregnant, Em."

"But what if you are?"

"Is that why he's freaking out? He really is unbelievable," you spat, snatching the test from Emily and heading towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind you.

"He just thinks it's not the best time."

"He should have thought about that before he told me to quit my birth control. He helped me decide! He said he had been thinking about a baby nonstop, and of course I want that too! We decided together! This isn't just on me," you cried, fighting to rip the test out of its packaging.

"We'll see what it says and go from there, okay?" She said from her spot on the other side of the door.

This was supposed to be a happy memory. Not one that was forced on you by your best friend because your boyfriend was too afraid to express his concerns to you. This should have been something you couldn't wait to do. If you were pregnant, how were you supposed to feel excited knowing that Aaron was already upset?

"Fuck."

"Was that, 'fuck it's positive' or 'fuck I peed on my hand?"

"I'm definitely pregnant."

She was coming through the door as you pulled your pants up, two positive lines laughing back at you from the counter.

"God, I knew it. As soon as he told me you quit the pill I knew."

"Don't you dare tell him, Emily," you warned, realizing she was already reaching for her phone.

"He gave me orders to," she told you, and you shook your head.

"No. That's not how it works! He doesn't just get to decide how he finds out. This... this is not what I had in mind when we discussed a baby."

The fantasy you had of surprising him when you did eventually find out wasn't even a possibility because he was treating it like another day at his job.

"So what do I do? Lie to him?"

"Tell him, I don't care."

"You seemed thrilled," she teased, and you should have been. You were happy, that wasn't it. You were just disappointed that the circumstances were shit.

"Yeah, well, being ordered to take a pregnancy test can kind of put a damper on the excitement factor. Especially when I don't even get to tell the father myself."

"You know how he is."

"Yeah. I do. I'm going to bed."

You pretended not to hear her call Aaron to tell him, instead, you buried your head in the pillows and tried your best not to scream. You cried instead. You cried for the excitement you should have been feeling, and you cried for your brother. Mostly, you cried for yourself, because no matter what you did, you could never seem to win with Aaron Hotchner.

✨✨✨

"Dave," I motioned him over, hanging up the phone with Emily while we waited for Lea to give us any answers at all. She hadn't, not yet, but JJ was having a breakthrough with her that we were confident was going to give us some answers.

He stood to my side, leaning in so only he could hear me.

"She's pregnant."

"Congratulations. That usually happens when women don't take contraceptives."

"I know. We wanted this. Just bad timing."

"As long as this is your life, you'll never see anything as good timing."

"I don't think that's true."

He shrugged, nodding towards the window where we could see Lea, in full hysterics, making some sort of confession. We were too far away to hear.

"You took a week off work and decided you wanted a baby and a future with her. You either jumped the gun, or you're self sabotaging because you're afraid to start over."

"Don't do that," I said, shaking my head.

"Aaron, this is a good thing. You're happy. Jack is happy. How can something so good be so bad?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Why are you so afraid of being happy?"

For once, I had no rebuttal.

"Exactly," he continued, patting my shoulder as he went to join JJ and Reid. "Congratulations. Go hug her and grab something to eat. We've got this."

My mind raced the entire drive to the hotel. Emily had already warned me that she wasn't in the best of moods, and I couldn't blame her a bit. I didn't expect her to be locked in the bedroom, Emily with her back to the door, trying to coax her out.

"She may be asleep, but I'm not sure. She's cried all morning."

"That's understandable," I said, knocking lightly at the door.

"You good here? I'm gonna go help Rossi," Emily asked, and I nodded, telling her I'd be here for the rest of the day. She left without another word, leaving me alone to deal with Y/N.

"Baby? Will you let me in?"

"In a minute," she replied, her voice hoarse. I had no clue what I was going to say to her once she let me in, but if I'd learned anything from being with her, something was better than nothing at all. I heard her shuffle across the room to let me in, crawling back into the bed and under the covers immediately.

"I know you're probably angry with me," I sat down next to her, placing my hand on her head. She was mostly hidden under the covers, barely peeking out at me. Her eyes looked so tired, despite the fact that she'd been sleeping a lot. I knew between her hormones and Beau's death, her emotions were in a tailspin.

"I just want you to know that even though we didn't want to find out this way, I'm happy. I know it probably doesn't seem like it because I left, but I needed to think. Rossi said something a few minutes ago that made me realize something."

She was sitting up now, listening to every word I said. She still didn't seem happy, but she was awake and alert, and that was a start.

"I don't think I've ever sat and mapped out my life without the BAU being a factor. This has always been who I am. I had an image of me doing this until it killed me. I don't want that for myself anymore. I don't ever want to leave for work again and there be a possibility of me not coming home. I have been selfish. I've taken from Jack, and from you. I've left at the drop of a hat every single day for as long as I can remember, and I thought because I was out there hunting down the bad guys, it made me a good guy."

"You are a good guy," she reassured me, reaching out to take my hand.

"I've not been a good father. I've not been a good partner. I missed so much of Jack's life, some days I don't know how I live with myself. I don't want that anymore. I want to be able to put my gun away, and lay down at night without worrying that someone that I've pissed off is going to hurt my family."

"I don't want you to think I'm mad at you. I'm not," she tried to explain, but I silenced her with a kiss.

"You have every right to be. You didn't even get to tell me yourself that you're pregnant."

"That did upset me a little."

"I know it did. I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm so sorry I took that moment away from you." My first instinct was to touch her belly, and surprisingly she didn't object. I didn't even mean to, really, I was just stunned that we'd made a life together so quickly.

"I wonder how far along you are," she had moved a bit closer so she could wrap her arms around me in a hug.

"I'd say probably 6 weeks, best guess. I've been trying to figure it out myself. Probably after we came home from the cabin. But I definitely need to make an appointment to find out for sure."

I nodded, momentarily blinded by visions of blue and pink and all things baby related. This was really happening. Another Hotchner baby.

"I missed a lot of those with Jack. I don't want that this time around."

She nodded, satisfied that I wanted to be there with her.

"I don't want anyone else to know yet, not until we know for sure everything is going to be okay," she said softly, and I agreed, knowing it was wise to keep it to ourselves until we knew things were in the clear.

"You've got to pick a house," I chuckled, and her eyes lit up.

"I found one yesterday morning that I liked a lot. Granted, things have been crazy since then, but I remember where it was and who the listing was under."

"Whatever you want, baby."

"We'll see about it when all this is over," she said, and I promised her we would.

"Lea was confessing when I left. Shouldn't be too much longer and we'll know why all this is going on. Why don't you get dressed, and we'll go see about your brother before he leaves?" I suggested, and surprisingly she agreed, getting dressed as quickly as she could. The Claremont was across town, but I had offered to pick Ben up and take him to lunch with us if he was interested.

He met us outside, climbing into the backseat.

"You okay?" He asked Y/N, and she nodded, telling him to buckle up.

"Bossy."

"Maybe so, but you're adopted."

"The mothership dropped you off in a field," he countered, the sibling banter between the two of them so different than how she normally was.

"I found you under a pile of leaves. I thought you were a stray dog so I brought you home," she said, face set seriously the entire time.

"Ouch! Okay, damn. You win." He joked, causing her to burst into laughter next to me. I grabbed her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. I didn't usually do that when I drove, but I couldn't help it. I never wanted to be away from her laughter again.

"You two are so much alike," I whispered to myself, realizing the back and forth was just the beginning. The playful banter lasted the entire car ride, causing me to laugh right along with them. She seemed so at ease with him around, it made me wonder why she didn't want him to know about her life.

"Hold up," Ben held up his hands to pause the conversation, motioning to my hand in hers.

"You didn't mention that yesterday," he said to me, and she looked at me curiously.

"I wanted to make sure it was okay with your sister first," I told him, making sure she was okay with what I was saying.

"I don't have to tell you to not tell her about my life, right Ben? You already know how I feel about that." She was tapping.

"I know, and I won't. But you don't have to forget I exist."

"I didn't forget that you exist, Ben. She never hurt you! It was only me! She's good to you when I'm gone, isn't she?"

We were parked, and she was unbuckled, turned around in her seat to face him.

"We'll, yeah, but-"

"Exactly. I know it seems selfish, but I have to keep myself safe. You never had to worry about that. Even 600 miles away, I still worry."

"It is selfish. I don't know anything about you."

She shrugged, rolling her eyes.

"You don't understand, that's how it has to be. I have people that I care about and I can't afford for her to come ruining it."

"What about me? What about Beau? You just left us! You left us and you never came back! That's fucked up!"

Him yelling at her enraged me.

"You need to lower your voice when you speak to her," I told him, not wanting to cross boundaries and upset Y/N.

"Did she tell you that she found us somewhere to live just so she could leave? Were we that much of a burden that you couldn't even stick around to make sure Beau was able to become a man? This is your fault!"

"Out of the car. Now."

She was an absolute wreck in the front seat, crying so hard she'd had to open the door and vomit. I understood completely why she didn't want them knowing anything now.

"You know none of this is her fault. She doesn't deserve this." I was trying my hardest to keep my cool.

"My mom blames her."

"You're not your mother. Think for yourself, for once in your life. The woman sitting in that car sacrificed her entire life so you could stay safe. Your mother left you, a crying infant in the arms of a child. That wasn't fair to either one of you, and I'm sorry. But she did everything in her power to make sure you and Beau were alright. What happened to Beau isn't her fault. That was a shitty thing for you to say. I realize you're hurting, but your sister is too. Between this and the baby,-"

"What baby?"

Fuck. I looked to the car to see if she'd heard my slip up, and she had. She was coming around to the side of the car, standing behind me.

"You will never utter a word about this baby to anyone, Ben. Never. She will never know. Do you understand?"

He nodded, eyes on her stomach.

"You're really going to bring a kid into the world? Knowing what being pregnant did to her?"

"I'm not her. She's a drug addict, Ben. I'm nothing like her."

"Not yet. But there's always a possibility."

All I could do was stare in disbelief.

"Baby, you don't need to hear this, not right now," I turned my attention towards her, leading her away from Ben.

"He's going to tell her and she's gonna come looking for me," she whispered, and I swore to her I'd never let that happen.

"This was a bad idea," she mumbled, and she was right. I didn't think things would escalate so quickly.

"I'm going to order something to go and send your brother back to his hotel in a cab. Are you okay with that?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to see him again," she admitted, and even though it was clearly breaking her heart, I knew deep down she was right. She walked towards him calmly, hugging him tightly before she told him goodbye for the last time.

✨✨✨

"Aaron's gonna call you a cab," You told him, arms crossed as you kicked at the ground beneath you. You wondered what had happened to the innocent boy you knew, the one who'd never utter a harsh word to you in a million years.

Pain had hardened him, and turned him cold. You were crushed to see it happening, but deep down, you know how things were going to go when he got in the car.

"So this is it? You start a family and forget Beau and I for good?"

"You're insane if you think I could ever forget. Ben, my entire life was spent on you and Beau! I dedicated everything to you. You're a grown man now, Beau. If you want away from her, you'll figure out a way, just like I did. And when you do, I'll be the last person on your mind. I will never stop loving you. But this goodbye has to be the last one. I won't put Aaron and my family at risk for anyone."

He stood protectively at your side, hand on your waist. You could tell he'd been fighting the urge to shield your stomach during the entire exchange between you and Ben, and you loved that about him.

"You don't think you'll regret this?" He asked finally, and you shook your head.

"This has to be a new beginning for all of us, Ben. One day you'll understand why."

He pulled you forward in a hug, making Aaron go rigid next to you. The action was just abrupt, not meant to hurt you, but you saw how it scared him nonetheless.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you," he admitted, and it took everything you had not to break down.

"Go live your life. It's time, Ben. For both of us. And the only way we can do that is if we let each other go."

"We really can't see each other again?"

You shook your head, eyes on the ground.

"I can't keep living like this," you said weakly, knowing that it was for the best, but god, it was like losing two children in one day. But they weren't your children. Jack, and the baby inside of you, those were the babies that needed you. You'd given your entire life to Ben and Beau. It was time to give it to your own babies.

"I will always love you like my own, but I have babies that need a mommy around."

"I hope for their sake, you're a good one."

"Me too."

✨✨✨

Aaron had Derek sit all day at school with Jack, so you had his undivided attention long enough to have lunch with him and show him a few different houses. He also favored the one you liked the most, making plans for the three of you to go look at it next week. You pretended not to notice, but his hands were on your stomach constantly.

Jack showing up was a godsend. You'd been patiently waiting on him all day, ready to curl up with him. He was on the couch with you immediately, digging through his backpack so you two could get started on on his homework. You led him to the table, helping him get started while you looked for Aaron.

"There's been some new development. Garcia and Morgan are on their way here to stay with you and Jack." he pulled you into the bedroom after he'd hung up the phone.

"Great, Derek can go on a grocery run, because constant take out is not good for any of us," you muttered, looking through the empty cabinets.

"You don't leave this room, not with anyone. You stay right here. Understood?"

You nodded, knowing whatever the news was must have been enough to scare him. He reached into his pocket, handing you his personal cell.

"I know you're probably going crazy without yours. Text me on my work phone if you need anything at all, and I'll have another phone for you by tonight."

He kissed you softly, hand cupping your face gently. His free hand was under your shirt.

"I'm sorry," he removed his hand from your stomach, but you put it back.

"Don't be sorry. I love it."

"Me too. It's all I've thought about."

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

"Make a list and I'll send Garcia to get some things from the house, whatever you need. Text it to her, Derek should be here any minute. If you need anything, send Garcia. Someone who can operate a firearm should be with you at all times."

"Aaron... What aren't you telling me?"

He sighed, holding you a bit tighter.

"Your mother. She's here, in Virginia. I don't want you going anywhere."

You held your breath, knowing that it was impossible.

"She was the one watching us. Lea was just helping her."

You weren't sure what to say, but Derek was at the door, Aaron letting him in.

"I'll be back a little later. I love you." He whispered, leaving you and Jack under the watchful gaze of Derek Morgan.

"You two seem to be in a much better place now," he observed, and you nodded, looking over Jack's homework, making sure he understood what he was doing.

"We are. He just needed some time."

He hummed, not entirely satisfied with your answer.

"Yeah? I hope you used that time wisely," he winked, cracking a giant Derek smile.

"What are you winking at?"

Derek turned around, your positive pregnancy test in his hand. You snatched it before Jack could see, dragging him down the hall.

"Top absolute freaking secret," you scolded him, making sure you hid it in your bag this time so no one could find it.

"God, I can't believe it! I never would have guessed Hotch was your type."

"He very much is exactly my type."

"You aren't kiddin'," he laughed, and you couldn't help but be excited that someone else could share your excitement now.

"Why top secret?" He questioned, and you explained how you weren't even sure how far along you were yet, and you and Aaron wanted to wait until things were okay before you blabbed about it.

"I can keep secrets, but Penelope Garcia is going to know. She has a 6th sense for pregnancy."

"I was gonna tell her anyway, it was you that wasn't supposed to know yet!" You laughed, and he pretended to be offended until you told him that you were making chicken carbonara for dinner and that there would be enough for him to take with him later.

That won him over.

Penelope joined you shortly with your list of groceries and things from the house, so the two of you made dinner for the 5 of you, since Aaron said he would be back at some point.

"Alright, spill it sister. I can tell something is up because I grabbed a bottle of wine out of courtesy and you haven't even touched the first drop." She was mid chop, eyeing you curiously from her spot at the table. Jack and Derek were watching tv, completely oblivious.

You motioned for her to join you in the bedroom where you handed her the positive pregnancy test and told her the same thing you'd told Derek. Top secret. After a very happy dance, she hugged you tightly and swore her lips were sealed. You figured it was wise the people protecting you knew, so if god forbid something happened, and Aaron wasn't around, they knew what to do.

You finished dinner, eating and getting Jack changed and ready to settle down for the evening. You'd just gotten him settled in his bed with his library book when Aaron texted you.

Aaron: I miss you.

I miss you baby, any idea when you'll be back?

Aaron: I'm meeting with Strauss in ten. Should be back after that. Rossi and Emily are handling things with PD

Why are you meeting with her right now?

Aaron: I'm stepping down as Unit Chief effective immediately so I can stay on the case. I need to get Garcia back to her office so she can help find your mom. Derek will stay until I'm back.

I love you.

Aaron: Are you upset with me?

No, baby. Not at all. I promise.

Aaron: I'll see you in 30. I love you.

I love you.

By the time he'd arrived, he looked exhausted. After Derek and Penelope had left, he pulled you into his arms, kissing your head.

"How did it go?" You asked, and you felt the breath he was holding release into you as he finally showed you a little bit of emotion.

"I never thought I'd walk away. I never thought I'd be making plans to be in a classroom 5 days a week instead of on a plane every few hours."

"If at any point you ever want to go back, I want you to know that you have my support. I told you that I'd be behind you on whatever you decided, and I am. 100%. I know this is what you want to do, and I love that. I never thought I'd see the day Aaron Hotchner left the BAU."

"I know you'll support me regardless. But this has to be done. We deserve this. We deserve a normal life."

You nodded, knowing the decision was made and there was nothing you could do to change his mind. Jack had found the two of you, chatting about his day to his dad as Aaron ate dinner. It was late, almost Jack's bedtime. You had to admit, you were filled with glee at the thought of having Aaron in your bed every night, and him being around whenever you needed him rather than being on a plane going god knows where.

You excused yourself to shower, leaving Jack and Aaron to hang out as you washed the stress of the last few days off of you. You had a lot to think about and process. Things had become very stressful very quickly for you, and honestly, it was a wonder you hadn't shut down completely. The days prior were finally starting to get to you. You were exhausted beyond measure. By the time you'd gotten clean and dressed, you were ready to crawl into bed with Aaron.

That wasn't happening any time soon.

"I don't care what it takes, Morgan. Keep her from coming here. I've got men posted at every door. She won't get far."

"What's going on?"

He looked at you, the concern clear on his usually composed face.

"Rossi says your mom knows about the baby. He thinks Ben left and said something to her immediately. They found her car dumped on the highway. There was a brand new t-shirt inside. 'World's Best Grandma'. She wanted us to know she knows."

You were sick, physically ill at the thought of your mother hurting Jack, or Aaron, or worse.

"Hey, listen to me."

He was leading you to the bedroom, sitting you on the edge of the bed, hands holding firmly to yours.

"I am not going to let anything happen to you. I swear to you, I will protect you and our children with my life."

Our children.

"You have to get Jack out of here."

"He's already gone. He left while you were in the shower. He's in my office with Penelope."

"Aaron..."

"No. Absolutely not. No. I know what you're thinking, and it's not happening. I can't protect you if you leave here."

"This won't end as long as I'm holed up in a hotel room. We both know that."

He shook his head furiously, enraged that you'd even suggest it.

"I've seen what she's done to you. I'm not letting that happen again," he said firmly, and you knew then his mind was made up. But yours wasn't, not by a long shot. You knew he'd be furious, but you also knew there was only one way to stop your mother, and that was to give her exactly what she wanted. You.

"Okay. I'm gonna head to bed. Are you staying tonight or are you leaving?"

"Derek's on his way."

"Okay. I love you, Aaron."

"I love you. I'm going to find her. She'll never be able to do this to us again."

You knew that part was true.

You went to bed, as promised, but you didn't sleep. You waited until you knew Aaron was gone, and then some, so you didn't seem suspicious. When you found Derek, he was aimlessly watching baseball highlights.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, and you shook your head, realizing he had indeed laid his jacket on the kitchen table in the other room. Surely his keys would be in there.

"I'm just thirsty. There's some carbonara left, do you want some? I'll warm it up for you," you offered, and he agreed quickly, still distracted by the television.

You used the racket of the microwave to conceal the jingle of his keys, quickly padding down the hall so you could hide them in your room. Your heart pounded at the idea of Derek realizing what you were doing and how furious Aaron was going to be when he found out.

Aaron was going to be livid.

But that didn't matter right now, all that mattered was distracting Derek with food so you could change clothes. You wore jeans and a black hoodie that Aaron had gotten you for Christmas, along with a pair of tennis shoes in case you needed to run.

Fortunately, Derek made things easy enough by going to the bathroom, you could hear him watching a video on his phone, so you took the opportunity to leave, taking the service elevator to the parking garage so you could steal your federal agent friend's car and go end things with your mother once and for all.

You were calling her as soon as you were on the freeway, knowing her number hadn't changed.

"What took you so long? Was afraid I was gonna have to use that kid to get your attention."

"Leave him out of this."

"I have no use for children. Do you know how long I tried to get rid of you three brats? I suppose I don't need to tell you to come alone?"

You were speeding as fast as you could down the freeway, trying to put distance between you and the hotel as quickly as possible.

"I'm alone. Just tell me where to come."

"There's an abandoned junk yard a mile from your friend's cabin. Be there in an hour. I'll know if you tell your little boyfriend about our meeting, so toss your phone when you're done."

"I'll be there."

You hung up, knowing that you'd probably not be around to hear Jack's voice again, so you broke the rules and made one more phone call.

"Are you okay, Y/N?"

Penelope's voice was full of worry, but you assumed it was over something else entirely. She didn't seem like she knew you had Derek's car.

"I'm fine. Just can't sleep. Will you put Jack on the phone?"

"Yeah babes, give me a sec. Jack, Y/N wants to talk to you before bed, kiddo."

In seconds he was on the phone, causing part of your worries to melt away. He was safe, and that's all that mattered.

"Hi, Y/N. I miss you. Dad forgot Chewy."

"I'll have him bring it as soon as he can buddy. I need to tell you something, okay? Can you turn your listening ears on for me?"

He made a robot sound, just like he did every time you two sat down to do his homework and you needed to get his attention to concentrate.

"They're on!"

"Great job bud. I want to tell you that you are the best little boy I have ever known and I love you, very much."

"I love you. I told Penelope you're my extra mom, that's right, isn't it?"

You choked back a sob, praying you could keep your composure for just a few seconds longer. You needed to pull off the road and calm down, but you didn't have time. You were pushing it already.

"That's right. I'm so glad I got to be your extra mom buddy. I'm so glad we got to build legos and bake breadsticks and I'm so glad I got to be able to love you and your daddy. I need you to tell him something for me too, okay? Can you remember?"

"Yes, I can!"

"I knew you could, smart boy. I need you to tell your daddy that I'm sorry. That I only want you both safe. Tell him that I love him and give him a really big hug the next time you see him, please."

"I will. A big squeeze, like me and you do?"

"That's right, a big squeeze. He'll need a lot of those, so that's your job. Big squeezes for your dad every day."

"Got it. I gotta go tell dad, here he comes!"

"I love you, Jack."

You swore you heard the crunch of the phone under your tires as you sped towards Rossi's, thankful that you were able to talk to Jack, even if it was the last time.

✨✨✨

"Hey bud. You okay? Who was on the phone?"

Jack was bounding into my arms, Penelope shrugging at the sudden display of affection.

"It was Y/N. She gave me a job and told me two big things."

His arms were around my neck, squeezing as tightly as he could.

"That's the job she gave me! She said big squeezes every day for you. And she told me to tell you something," he said in my ear, my chest going hot once I started to realize she wasn't calling just to say goodnight.

"What did she say, Jack?"

"She said she wanted us to be safe, and that she loves us. She's my extra mom, because you're allowed to have two mommies." He explained as I sat him down and pulled out my phone, Derek's number already dialing.

"Morgan."

"Check on Y/N," I demanded, urging him to open the door if she didn't answer immediately.

"Fuck, Hotch. She's gone," he confirmed my worst fear. I knew she'd do this, and I'd tried to plan accordingly, but she'd already tossed my phone by the time Garcia realized what was happening.

"Oh god, sir, I didn't realize... Oh god, okay. How is she going anywhere? She doesn't have a car," I put Derek on speaker, waving Rossi, Emily and Reid in so they could hear also.

"She has my keys," Derek told us, which meant Garcia would be able to track the car, because it was government issued.

"Text me the location. Let's go," I told them, all of us heading out. The car was parked at Rossi's cabin, so she couldn't have been too far ahead of us. I was flying down the turnpike, racing towards her so I could stop this once and for all.

✨✨✨

The ride up gave you time to calm down. You were calm enough, knowing that you'd be gone before Aaron got there, so he wouldn't have to see what your mother was going to do to you. You tried to make peace with everyone in your head, starting with your baby and Jack. Aaron may understand why you had to do it, but Jack never would, and Aaron would never recover from losing you and a child. You knew that, but there was nothing you could do to change it.

The walk from the cabin to the junk yard gave you time to reflect, and the only thing that you could recall at the moment was Jack's face right after he woke up in the morning, and the way Aaron had clutched your stomach so lovingly, even if you only got to enjoy it for a day.

You thought about joining Beau, and you wondered if he'd be happy to see you when you made it wherever you were going in the next life. You hoped he'd be there, and your father too. You hoped you'd find Haley in the afterlife and tell her what an amazing little boy she created, so you two could share that love together in a place where the memories were all you had of them. You couldn't wait to share this little baby with Haley wherever you ended up, knowing she'd help you, just like you'd helped Aaron with Jack.

You prayed this didn't harden Aaron for good. You hoped eventually he moved on with someone else, and was happy. You hoped he stuck out the transfer and was home for Jack every day. You especially hoped he bought the house you loved, so he and Jack had somewhere that would remind them of you.

You didn't want Emily blaming herself. You knew part of her would, but Aaron would take the brunt of the blame. You didn't want that for him, because it was never his fault. He always made sure you were safe, even if he was oceans away.

You remembered the faces of all your friends. You wanted them to be happy, even though they were surrounded by misery.

You were sad that you never finished your book. That was the one thing you'd started selfishly, something purely enjoyable for you. You'd never get to decide the ending.

As the chains of the fence rattled, you swore you heard sirens in the distance. You shook it off as false hope, maybe your mind playing tricks, pulling open the gate and making your way inside to find your mother.

She was waiting near a school bus, sitting on a burn drum, legs crossed, eyes bugging out of her head. She looked like she hadn't slept in a year, but she was also a drug addict, so it was always a possibility.

"Bout time."

"I walked up."

"So, we should make this quick then?" She asked, and you nodded. You knew she couldn't do anything quickly. She'd drag it out as long as possible, and for once, you hoped she did. It would give Aaron time to find you, hopefully.

"Come here, you filthy sinner."

You'd become so accustomed to not hiding your feelings that you hadn't realized you were crying in front of the one person who couldn't stand the thought of tears.

"No, no. I didn't mean it,-" her lit cigarette made contact with your cheek, causing you to wince in pain. You did your best to push her backwards to no avail, she was clenching her legs around the drum, secured in place by sheer strength.

"Shut up! You've been sinning for months! Living with that man, screwing him, unmarried!!" Her boot was the next object to meet your face, you flying backwards onto your tailbone. You scrambled up as quickly as you could, trying to find anything you could use to keep you and your baby safe. You spotted a crow bar just behind her, so you decided to provoke her off the drum so you could make a run for it.

"You weren't married to any of the men you screwed for drugs!" You shot back, spitting in her general direction.

"I was a baby raising kids you made but couldn't bother to love. You think I'm a sinner? The only sinner here is you. You nasty, wretched woman," you continued, watching the ticking of her jaw for any indication that your plan was working.

"God told me to give you those kids. He said you deserved the punishment because you were a dirty sinner!"

You laughed, realizing she sounded just as insane as she did when she told you the exact same thing twenty years ago.

"You're mental. Absolutely fucking bonkers. That wasn't God, Brenda! That was meth!"

She lurched forward, giving you just enough time to duck out of her way and reach for the crow bar. Once it was securely in your hands, you turned sharply on your heel only to be met with a gun in your face.

"Surprise, bitch. This is the part where you pay for your sins," she muttered, shoving you to your knees so she could slap you across the face with the butt of her handgun.

"Killing me wont bring Beau back, and it won't make you any less deranged," you told her, watching her rear her arm back, ready to swing on you again.

"Brenda Collins! FBI! Put the gun down!" Aaron and Emily were to your right, guns trained on your mother. Rossi and Reid to their opposite, waiting for Aaron's signal.

"Shoot me! But I'm taking her with me!" She had the barrel in your mouth, the metal cold against your tongue as you tried your hardest not to cry, especially at a moment as crucial as this. If you cried, she'd shoot you, no questions asked.

"You don't need to do that, Brenda. We can get you some help. I know you've been hurting since Ben was born and no one would listen to you, isn't that right?" Emily tried, taking a step forward. This caused your mother to shove the barrel further into your mouth. You couldn't meet Aaron's eyes. You wanted to, for any sort of comfort. But if Brenda shot you, you didn't want your face in this moment to be the last thing he remembered.

"She ruined me! It started when she was born! I never wanted her. She's been a burden since the beginning."

As much as you hated her, her words still hurt.

"What will killing her solve, Brenda?" Rossi questioned, and I watched my mother try to rationalize with herself momentarily. It was a split second of clarity, but you saw it.

"I didn't ask to be here," you whispered to her, meeting her eyes so you could show her that you were serious.

"He left me to raise you and I didn't even want you," she muttered, talking about your dad. She always blamed him for you, no matter how crazy that sounded.

"You didn't raise me. I raised me. You kept me alive for a little while, but you didn't raise any of us."

"Shut up! You shut your filthy mouth," she screamed, gun waving around in the air. You secretly hoped anyone took the opportunity to shoot her.

"Brenda! Put the gun down and come talk to me," Emily urged, moving in closer by the second.

"God wanted me to do this long ago," she stated, falling to her knees so she could be at eye level with you. She had the gun aimed directly on your forehead. At least it would be quick, and virtually painless.

"Quit being a coward and do it then. You've waited this long, what's stopping you now?" You questioned, accepting your fate. You knew none of them had a shot without the risk of shooting you too, or else they'd done it already.

"YOU WANT THIS?" She slapped you harshly across the face, the sharp sting causing your eyes to water. As soon as she saw it, she had you on your feet, gun now at the side of your head and she wrapped her arm around your neck.

"This is what you want to save?! A pathetic, crying SINNER?" You heard the click of the safety, knowing your tears had caused your demise. You knew they would, eventually. You just didn't realize it would be in front of everyone you loved.

"Brenda, she's your daughter. Surely you can distinguish the delusions and your own blood," Rossi yelled, and you shook your head.

"She can't. She's weak! She can't distinguish anything anymore because she's destroyed her brain," you replied, knowing you were only aggravating her, but you couldn't handle the back and forth. You wanted it over with.

"That's not true! I'm a good person," she whispered in your ear, gun at her side as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

It was now or never, so you punched her right in the face, realizing she'd dropped the gun when you did it. You kicked the gun towards Rossi, who was already pulling you backwards before you could hit her again. Rossi was so distracted that he didn't see her pick up the gun.

"Get down!" Aaron yelled before firing a single shot, Brenda crumpling forward into the dirt. They all rushed forward, Reid calling for a paramedic, Emily making sure Brenda was actually dead. Rossi was in your ear, telling you everything was okay.

"Is Jack okay?" You asked him, the Hotchner men the only thing currently on your mind.

"Jack is fine. Aaron's fine. You're gonna be okay," he promised you, helping you up and leading you to where Aaron was waiting for you.

"I'm so sorry," you said immediately, rushing towards him with an urgency you didn't realize you had.

"God, you could have gotten yourself killed. What in the world were you thinking, baby?" He tried his hardest to scold you, but it was obvious by the arm wrapping protectively around you and the one securely protecting your stomach that he was worried more than anything.

"I know, but she was going to come for Jack, and I couldn't let that happen." He was scooping you up to carry you bridal style towards the arriving ambulance. You knew your face was a bloody mess, but that was the only place she'd hit you, so everything else should be fine.

"She's pregnant, is there any way you can make sure everything is okay from here?" Aaron asked the EMT, who began hooking you up to a fetal heartbeat monitor so you could make sure everything was alright. Another paramedic worked to clean the wounds on your head, Aaron's hand holding yours tightly the entire time.

"Heart rate is 166. Everything is just fine," he told Aaron, who was sighing with relief next to you. The woman was working on your face, making sure you didn't need stitches. Aaron didn't leave your side the entire time.

"I'm so sorry she did this to you," he whispered, hand tight in yours as he glared the EMT down. She was being as gentle as she could, but the gash above your eye needed stitches.

"Don't be. I knew it was coming. When she threatened Jack, I knew I had to come find her. I'd already planned to talk to her before that, but, ouch, she threatened Jack on the phone so I basically knew when I came up here what was gonna happen. She told me she would know if I called you. That's why I called Jack. Well, that and I wanted to make sure he was okay. Say goodbye."

"Her adrenaline is pumping, so she's gonna be really sore tomorrow. She needs to see a doctor." They told Aaron, who looked more worried than you'd ever seen him, despite knowing you and the baby were okay.

"Can I take her?"

They agreed to let him take you, the two of you riding back up in Derek's car to the local ER so you could be seen. After determining you were okay, bloody and bruised up, but otherwise fine, you were released with mild pain killers and strict orders to stay in bed the next couple of days.

The entire ride back to the hotel, Aaron didn't let your hand go. Derek forgave you fairly quickly for stealing his car, as long as you promised not to do it again. Penelope had already brought Jack back, and he was sleeping peacefully in the master bed.

"I figured you'd want him close," she told you, hugging you tightly, the tears on her face making you realize how many people you were surrounded by that truly cared about you. They may not be blood, but they were your family.

You checked on on Jack, Aaron following closely behind you the entire time. You knew he would be like this, and you appreciated it. You were honestly still really rattled, and your nerves had been on edge for days.

But, the hard part was over. Forever.

✨✨✨

I'd shot her mother without a second thought. I told everyone on the way up that I would. Selfishly, I wanted to be the one to do it. Seeing Brenda abuse her firsthand was all I needed to know about her childhood.

I feared the burn may never fade from her face. I was afraid she'd wake up every single day and see the last scar her mother ever gave her, and she'd hate me for it.

That wasn't the case at all.

After we'd returned, I ran her a bath after she checked in on Jack. Things were finally quiet, calm. We were finally alone and safe for the first time in days.

"Come on," I pulled her towards the bathroom, undressing her so she could step into the water. I saw the relief on her face as she sank into its warmth, leaning back, head on the wall.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, watching me from my spot in the floor next to the tub.

"No, Angel. I'm just glad you're still here," I told her, leaning forward so I could grab her hand.

"It was stupid, what I did. But I've never been so happy to know someone was gone forever."

"It wasn't stupid. You did what any parent would do to save their child. That's love."

"It was for you too. I knew she'd never stop, even if I was gone."

"I know. That's why I'm not mad. I was terrified. I've made that exact same drive to save someone I cared about before, only I wasn't so lucky the first time around," I whispered, looking down before she could meet my gaze. I was terrified the entire drive up that I'd be bringing her back home in a different way.

"I know, and I'm sorry that I put you through that twice. But I had to keep you guys safe," she kissed my hand, and I understood, I really did. I would have done the same exact thing.

"I know, baby. It's over, and you don't have anything to worry about now. What do you want to do about Beau?"

"What do you mean?"

"He deserves a proper burial. With your mother gone, there's no reason he can't have that."

"I haven't been home in a long time," she told me, stepping out of the tub so I could wrap her up in a towel. I followed her to the couch, finding her some clothes so I could get her changed. She didn't object when I pulled the shirt over her head, and she was more than willing to let me put her sweatpants on her. I was glad she was letting me help her. She had a tendency to be hyper-independent, a habit I was planning to help her kick.

"If that's something you'd want, we'll go. Just us," I assured her, watching her face closely to make sure I didn't make her upset. I knew home and her brothers were a touchy subject, but she seemed to entertain the thought.

"What about Brenda?" She asked, voice cracking as she said her name out loud.

"She'll get flown home and someone will have to claim the body."

"What happens if no one does?"

"Cremation, I think. They store the urn away until someone claims the remains."

"I need to think about it," she said finally, releasing a breath.

"It's entirely up to you. But you deserve to say goodbye to him."

"I did that a long time ago, Aaron. It's time to let him rest. We can go," she said hesitantly, "but we leave right after. That's not somewhere I want to stay for long."

"I'll call Jessica in the morning and make arrangements for Jack. We can drive, if you want."

"I'd like that."

✨✨✨

She slept most of the drive, which wasn't surprising. She'd dealt with a lot in the last couple of days, and the painkillers made her tired, so I let her rest. It was peaceful, the radio playing softly on whatever she'd set it to when we started our journey. It was a 4 hour drive, but the scenery was gorgeous, so I didn't really mind.

"Want me to drive for a little while?" She was stirring, stretching her arms as she raised her seat back to its upright position.

"We'll be there within the hour. I'm okay," I assured her, her hand rubbing lightly at the back of my neck. Part of me had enjoyed the drive, mostly because she relaxed so quickly once we were alone that I didn't want to do anything to dampen her mood. She seemed content, rubbing circles on my skin and snacking on her yucky Combos. She loved the pizza flavored snacks, and she turned Jack into a fan. I'd never join that club. There was nothing pizza about them, but they made her happy.

"I had a baby dream," she yawned, sipping on the coffee in the thermos we were sharing.

"Tell me," I urged.

"We were painting a nursery in the new house. It was yellow. So no clue what that means. But I was huge," she laughed, and I felt myself beam proudly at her.

"I can't wait to actually experience a pregnancy with someone," I told her, turning off on our exit. We were merely minutes away from our destination.

"Me too. I can't wait to tell Jack. I want him to help pick names," she was so excited, the motherly glow already so natural on her face. I was anxiously awaiting seeing her become a mother, not because I was scared, exactly the opposite.

Anyone with that much love to give children that don't even belong to them would be a wonderful parent, and I was sure of that. I saw how she put her life on the line for Jack, and myself, and I couldn't wait to tell our kids what a hero their mommy was.

Life with her was going to be wonderful, and I knew that with every fiber of my being. With the days of the BAU long behind me after some necessary time off to get my family adjusted somewhere new, and the relief of having Brenda gone, I'd never been more hopeful.

Dr. Burton Grebin once said, "To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself."

Watching as she stood statue still next to me, they lowered Beau into the ground and left us alone so she could tell her brother goodbye.

"I can go to the car," I offered, and she shook her head, hand keeping me firmly in place.

"Please don't leave me," she shuddered, voice hushed by the traffic around us. We were right off the highway, in a small town that Y/N had tried her hardest to forget. I'd counted two red lights in its entirety, and 4 cemeteries.

This was the one she'd chosen, next to her father. He wasn't Beau's dad, but she had wanted them together. She said Beau needed a dad, even if it was a little too late.

"What a sweet boy you were," she leaned down, crossing her legs to sit on the ground. I stood behind her, close enough for comfort, but far enough that she had the space she needed, if that was what she wanted.

"I want to say I'm sorry. But I couldn't have changed anything. I'm just glad you don't have to fight anymore. You don't have to run. You can just rest, and it'll be okay, Beau."

She sniffled the tiniest bit, and I ached in a way I didn't know I could. I hated to see her cry.

"I wish I could give you one more big squeeze. I give those to Jack now, and he loves them, just like you both did. I hope wherever you are is better than what we had. I wish I could have given you more, Beau Andrew. I hope you can be a kid now."

I wish I could take back every single day she spent of her childhood caring for someone else. Who was supposed to save them? Surely I could try now, give her everything I could. But this kind of hurt was something she'd live with forever. I wasn't ignorant to that fact, however, I knew between Jack and Baby Hotchner, they'd help her heal, day by day. That's part of what made her bond with Jack so special to watch. They were one another's silent comfort, even if Jack was oblivious to why.

"I'm ready," she announced, letting me help her stand to her feet. She had dried her tears before I could see, and that hurt. I prayed seeing her mother didn't shut her down. She'd came so far, being so openly emotional, always telling me exactly how she felt. It was one of the things I loved the most about her. She was unapologetically full of love, and emotion, and she didn't care if anyone saw. Until now.

"I would love to take you out to dinner, but we both know that always goes," I chuckled, and she took my hand, taking one last glance at her dad and Beau.

"I'd much rather shack up in some motel and eat takeout," she said, gripping me tightly as we made our way back to the car. We'd already decided not to drive back today, so we were going to leave her hometown and drive 30 minutes south to a hotel until morning.

"Be nice to just be the two of us," I said softly, eyes trained on her belly. I swear the swell of her breasts was more prominent now, her hair seemed shinier. Pregnancy was treating her really well so far.

"We better enjoy it now," she gave me a quick peck while I navigated us towards the hotel, glad to almost be done driving for the day.

"What sounds good for dinner?"

"A chili dog."

I cut my eyes at her, raising my eyebrows curiously.

"That is an oddly specific request."

She shrugged, her cheeks tinted pink.

"I've wanted one all day. I don't care where it comes from," she giggled, and I felt myself smiling like mad.

"I'll eat everything you crave unless it gets weird," I promised her, hoping I didn't regret it.

"You don't have to," she assured me, but I shook my head in protest.

"I absolutely will though, because if it makes you happy, it makes me even happier."

She was staring, and I could feel her gaze as I pulled into a gas station.

"What?" I questioned, shutting off the engine.

"I can't wait to marry you," she said softly, leaning forward to meet my lips. It took me by surprise, only because she hadn't really mentioned marrying me on her own, only when we'd talked about it together.

"You're sure you want that?"

She nodded like she'd never been more sure of anything in her life.

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? I have everything with you that I could ever want." Her lips were on me again, and normally, I'd have felt weird making out with someone in a gas station parking lot, but she wasn't just someone, and the urgency behind her lips was something I couldn't ignore.

"Let me find out where I can get you a chili dog," I breathed, momentarily stunned by the taste of her still on my lips, rushing in to see if the gas station attendant knew where to get a good hot dog.

✨✨✨

The rain had started almost as soon as Aaron left the car, the sky opening up and pouring down so hard that the windshield was nearly impossible to see. If you were already at the hotel, you'd have been thoroughly satisfied with the rainy weather. You wanted to stuff your face, ignore the television, and wrap yourself up in the man that had spent the last week keeping you safe.

When he returned to the car, you realized he was carrying two bags, one filled with drinks and snacks, the other filled with plastic trays.

"You'll never guess what I found," he said proudly, the chili smell making your mouth water almost instantly.

"How the heck did you do that?!" You laughed, realizing he'd gotten a little bit of everything as far as candy went. Salty, sweet, chocolate and fruity. You only liked chocolate sometimes, but he always got you some at the gas station, just in case. He was the best at buying snacks, and you really liked that about him. He was always buying you candy, and you often wondered if it was because he was trying to feed the soul of your inner child.

"He made these fresh for you, sweetheart. I couldn't believe it either." He tried to wait out the rain, but once you both realized it wasn't letting up, you headed for the hotel anyway, being extra cautious. By the time you'd pulled in you were starving, letting Aaron check you guys in while you grabbed the duffel bag you were sharing with him. He'd never let you carry it, but you moved it up front anyway so he didn't have to get soaked rummaging for it.

When Aaron came back for you, he had an umbrella, making sure you stayed dry on the way inside. He left you in the lobby to go back and get your things, the rain causing his white dress shirt to cling to his skin. You couldn't help but stare as he shook the water from his head before he walked through the sliding doors. You were hungry for something else entirely now, a chili dog being the furthest thing from your mind.

You followed him quietly to the room, letting him settle the two of you in as you watched patiently, biting your lip harshly when he started to peel off his wet clothes.

"Need some help?" You asked, working at the buckle of his belt, blindly undoing it and letting it clatter to the floor. You started on the buttons of his shirt next.

"I'll never say no to you undressing me," he purred, voice like fire to your thighs. He let his hands fall to his sides as you stripped him down, leaving him in his boxers and his mostly dry white t-shirt.

"Want to come sit down?" You asked, leading him towards the bed in the center of the room. This hotel wasn't nearly as fancy as yours back in Quantico, but it was quaint and cozy and warm, and the bed appeared to work just fine. He let you sit him down and you slid to your knees in front of him, taking the sight of him in. He looked so sexy with his messy hair, still slightly damp from the rain that was coming down like crazy outside your window.

"Oh, baby..." he whined, needy for your mouth, and you knew it. He didn't try to hide his neediness either, pulling your hands towards his length, moaning once you freed him from his boxers and started pumping him in your hand.

"Look so good like this, Aaron," you told him, planting a kiss on his thigh before you licked a stripe up the center of his dick, the goosebumps on his skin the only indication you needed that he loved every second of your mouth.

"Fuck, baby. I've missed this with you. Never want to be away from you ever again," he hissed as you took all of him in your throat. You loved every second of having him in your mouth. The reaction, the subtle thrust of his hips mixed with his fists tangled in the comforter, was enough to make you a quivering mess every time.

"Look at me, pretty girl," he pleaded, tilting your head to meet his gaze. You wanted to hide your face, considering the current state it was in. You refrained, only because Aaron was looking at you like you were the only person in his world, and you'd never had anyone look at you with so much unconditional adoration in your life.

"Hey," his hands were on your shoulders, pulling you onto his lap with no warning.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he told you, causing you to grind against him in response. His mouth met yours, tongue inside your mouth instantly. This drove you mad, Aaron being so blinded by desire for you that he let go of every single inhibition that would have normally caused him to hold back. He didn't do that with you, and it made you weak in your knees. He didn't make it a secret that you held all the power with him sexually, and that was a massive turn on, especially considering his stoic, hard exterior with everyone else compared to how he was now. His eyes were wide and glassy, like he'd been drunk on you for ages, lips swollen from peppering kisses anywhere you'd let his mouth wander.

"I can't get enough of you," he panted, your hips moving so deliciously against one another that you were nearing an orgasm and he hadn't even touched you. He was grinding furiously against you, and occasionally a moan so gruff and sexy would fall from his lips, causing your eyes to roll back in ecstasy.

"I am crazy about you, Aaron Hotchner," you whispered in his ear before taking his earlobe between your teeth, sucking lightly. You trailed your tongue over the vein in his neck, pulsing wildly, warm and throbbing beneath the heat of your mouth.

"Can I take this off?" He was tugging at your shirt, but he'd been undressing you with his eyes for a while now.

"Any time you want," you replied, giggling when you were topless in a matter of nanoseconds. He was wasting no time, one of your nipples already in his mouth while his fingers toyed mindlessly with the other. You lifted your hips, letting him drag your pants down your legs, leaving you bare against him.

"I want to take my time, but I can't remember the last time I needed anyone so badly," he breathed, sliding you onto his length, his forehead resting against yours as you both took a second to adjust to one another.

"You fit me like a glove," he sighed, sliding all the way out of you just so he could hear you whine at the loss of contact.

"Don't be greedy," you pleaded, his eyes going massive at your eager tone.

"I've never heard you so desperate, baby. You want me that bad?" He teased, using his length to spread you open.

"Please, Aaron. Do you want me to beg?" You asked, sucking hickeys onto his chest, knowing better than to leave them on the more visible parts of his skin. In his line of work, a hickey on his neck was something that would be hard to conceal, so he let you mark him up everywhere else to make up for it.

"Fuck... Yes. I do want to hear you beg for it. That was a silly question." His continued to slide himself against your entrance, causing you to shake with anticipation. You were a whining mess, and it only fueled him more by the moment.

"Please, baby, let me feel you. I've wanted you so bad for weeks. Don't you want to fill me up, baby? I can tell it's taking all the restraint you have not to bury yourself inside me right now," you weren't sure where all of this was coming from, but he was in a trance, absolutely enthralled with every word falling from your lips.

"You're filthy, baby, absolutely filthy. You know that?" He slid into you once more, this time gripping your hips roughly so you could ride him like mad.

"Only for you, only ever for you, baby," you cried, feeling the stress you'd been harboring fade instantly as you reached the first of many orgasms.

"That's it, let me make it all better," he whispered, slowing his movements so he could find his rhythm rolling into you, causing a sensation you weren't entirely sure was possible until now.

"Aaron," was the only word you could coherently form as you came again, only this time was different. You felt yourself drench his dick, covering your legs and his with arousal as your entire body shuddered against him. You were stunned to say the least, body crumbling against him, your limbs suddenly too heavy to hold up.

"Fucking hell," he cried out, practically screaming as you felt him finish right after, both of you a wet, sweaty mess.

"Do you know what just happened?" He asked, and you shook your head, still trying to recover.

"You squirted. That was really, really hot."

"I've never felt anything like that in my life."

He kissed you roughly, carrying you to the bathroom. You both needed a shower, legs stuck together with your arousal, the both of you sticky with cum. He left you long enough to grab your shower bag, returning with the biggest smile still plastered to his face.

"God, that was incredible," he said, sitting you on the counter long enough to shed the rest of his clothes and adjust the temperature of the water. He let you step in first, stepping in after and wrapping you up in the security of his arms beneath the water.

"I wanted to ask you something," he was still holding you, reaching behind you to grab your shampoo so he could lather it into your hair. It was a gesture so intimate that it almost brought you to tears.

"Ask me," you let your eyes close as he massaged your scalp, leaning into him as much as you could.

"If I asked you to marry me now, would you think we were moving too fast?"

You laughed at him saying it out loud.

"Well, I'm carrying your child, so is anything moving too fast at this point?"

He moved you back to rinse your hair, leaving you to do that while he washed your body. He looked heavenly, bent down to lather your feet and legs, like he'd done it everyday his entire life.

"I suppose not. Well, if I asked you right now, would you say yes?" Even through his lashes, coated with water droplets as he looked up at you, you could see the tears filling his eyes as he waited for your answer.

"Of course, I would have said yes if you asked me 2 months ago," you were trying to pull him to his feet, blinking away tears as you enveloped him in a hug. You were partly in disbelief, because you never expected to love him so quickly, or that he'd be so obviously crazy about you after the rocky start you two had.

"I want to spend every second of my life making you as happy as I can," he muttered against your lips, and you believed him, letting him make you promises of forever there in the shower, your own private memory bank full of these precious moments. Aaron had a tendency now that he'd let you in to be extremely emotion-driven with things relating to your love life. He wasn't ashamed to admit you had him absolutely hooked on you, and that made you giddy. You felt like you were finally experiencing the kind of love that you saw in movies.

Aaron Hotchner was keeping his promise, healing every part of your broken upbringing however he could, and that was love. You never thought you'd marry the first person you dated, or that you'd fall in love with someone so quickly. He hadn't expected it either; meeting you with so much resistance in the beginning that you weren't sure how you would ever get him to come around.

"Maybe we can start planning a wedding once we're settled in somewhere new," he suggested, your brain foggy at the idea of actually planning a wedding. You were never sure how he did it, but for every bad moment in your life so far, he'd found a way to replace the sour memories with new ones entirely.

Love was something you never expected. Sure, it was nice to daydream about. What little girl doesn't sit and ponder the day they meet their person? You'd told Aaron the truth; you'd been on dates before, well, two whole dates. But they were a disaster. Thinking about it was enough to make you cringe.

Your biggest fear was not knowing how to love someone properly because your own idea of love was an abstract concept that you'd never really experienced firsthand. Your brothers relied on you; sure, they loved you. But it was the kind of love that was returned out of obligation, and blood.

This was nothing like that. This was raw, and pure, and solid. You weren't sure how it came so effortlessly, but you were so happy with your life that you'd never question it. There were days, especially the ones where he was gone, that made you have doubts, especially in the beginning. But once you understood that he was absolutely petrified, and overwhelmed, you realized how much you two actually had in common, even if you responded differently.

You meet his defiance with love, and he put up a wall. Not for long, and not enough to ever shut you out completely. Your love for him was so deep, so consuming, you'd never give the hard days a second thought, especially not now that he wanted you to be his wife. But you could tell that there were times he still had trouble forgiving himself for keeping you at a distance for so long. You'd both agreed that it was long forgotten, but every tight squeeze of your hand and completely out of character act of comfort from him was a silent apology. That was how he loved; gentle, but loud. There was nothing quiet about the way he cared for you, and you needed that more than you'd ever admit.

You hadn't really had time to process the fact you had someone that was half of the man you loved so much growing inside of you. Things had been so scary so fast neither of you had time to catch up, and the excitement was replaced by fear.

"We're really gonna have a baby," you said, stepping out of the shower, him trailing close behind you.

"We are. You need to make an appointment tomorrow when we get back, and we have a meeting to see the house on Tuesday." He said nonchalantly, trying to hide his smirk as you perked up at his statement.

"You mean the house?"

"I mean the one you want, yes."

There really was no limit on what he was willing to do for you. He didn't even let you reply, he was on his knees in front of you, still drenched from the shower. His lips were on your stomach, head just below your breasts. Snaking his arms around your waist, he left you speechless. How long had you spent discontent and unfulfilled? It seemed like most of your life, but you couldn't remember, especially now.

You'd never seen anyone so gorgeous in your life, and you certainly never expected to spend the rest of your life being touched like this by Aaron Hotchner. His hands felt like fire on your skin, causing you to heat up rapidly, the water droplets on your skin evaporating with every kiss Aaron delivered to your stomach.

"You're mesmerizing," he breathed against your thigh, tongue leaving wet kisses on any skin he could reach. Without warning his tongue met your center, your knees going weak under him.

"I've got you," he moaned into you, hands behind your legs to keep you steady and in place as he sucked wildly on your clit, your hands blindly reaching behind you for anything to keep you upright. It was no secret that he loved to taste you, but this was more than that. He was oblivious to everything around him when he was like this, and it drove you wild every time. He was hyper focused, you being the only thing he could draw his attention to.

All you could do was watch, mouth agape, gripping the counter so hard it made your knuckles go white. If you were to tell anyone that Aaron Hotchner, stone cold, stoic, the true definition of intimidation, was in front of you on his knees, a quivering mess, they'd never believe you. They'd never believe that the same man that barks orders and barely cracks a smile at work was at your mercy, his pupils completely blown out as he made you cum. It wasn't even about the orgasms for him, you knew that. It was something else entirely, and it was enough to make you see stars.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

"That's it baby, don't cover your mouth, let me hear you," I urged her, my head still nestled between her legs. The echo of my name throughout the bathroom mixed with the taste of her was all the motivation I needed to lead her to the bed so I could continue. She whimpered at the sudden loss of contact when she felt my mouth leave her, yelping in surprise when I scooped her up.

"I'm moving you to the bed," I announced, her legs wrapped around my waist, her lips sucking love marks on my shoulders. It made my skin prickle with goosebumps at the mixture of her warm tongue and the cool air around us. I groaned at the sensation, wondering if I'd ever grow accustomed to how she felt. Not just sexually, but as a whole. I caught myself noticing small things about her that very first day, and I'd kept them in my head all of this time, just to be baffled by her still all these months later.

I often envied Reid; his eidetic memory would come in handy with her. I wouldn't use it for greater knowledge, or to read novel after novel until my eyes were sore. I'd use it to brand her into my brain for life. From the soft pads of her hands to the red chipped paint of her toenails, I wanted every drop of her with me at all times. Part of me was sad that she'd tossed my old phone, because I'd compiled an entire list of things I'd admired about her, even before we met for the first time.

It didn't take meeting her one on one to know that she was the kind of woman you settled down with, the one who knows how you like your coffee and makes your favorite meals on a bad day. She radiated something almost supernatural, and I'd been struggling to find the words for her since the moment Emily had suggested bringing her into my home. She was a little too eager at the idea of us getting to know each other, and now I understood why. I'd always be grateful that Emily cared enough about the both of us to know that we needed each other, even before we figured it out for ourselves.

How was I ever supposed to tell her that part of me loved the idea of her before she knew anything about me? I knew as soon as I showed up to the coffee shop that things were going to go well. That day had started out like utter shit, and I'd almost cancelled on her because of my sour mood. My mind changed quickly when she sent me a text making sure we were still meeting. It was completely formal until the last line; she told me that she was excited to finally get to know me.

I only knew a little about her at first, like where she worked and what I'd overheard in passing. The first night we met, on Emily's birthday, she came up to me and introduced herself, and I'd been curious about her ever since. Even more so when Emily told me that Y/N wasn't the type to just start casual conversations.

I was at the cafe an hour early that day. I'd gone from wanting to cancel on her to waiting to know what it was about me that she was so eager to meet. And when she showed up a nervous mess, it only made me want her around more. I'd never had a woman give me the kind of attention and care that she did, even before things escalated between us. I think that was part of what caused us to move so quickly. She never felt out of place with me, and if she did, she didn't show it.

She had been my home this entire time and she had no clue. How was I ever supposed to tell her? There weren't any words for the way she surrounded Jack and me with love, despite the fact that Jack wasn't her blood. She loved Jack like her very own, proving that when she was willing to literally sacrifice her life to save him.

And me.

It sounded crazy considering it was my job to put my life on the line. I did it every time I set foot on a crime scene, and I was accustomed to it. She was only used to it because she wasn't given a choice otherwise. What she did for her brothers was something incredible, despite the way things with Ben had gone, I knew her love for him was unconditional, even now.

But to steal a car and risk her life all to keep me and my son safe? I wasn't sure why Brenda had done to her before we got there, but we watched her take one hell of a beating and crawl back for more. Seeing the exchange was hell on Earth. It was like revisiting Foyet, and all the painful memories that came with it. Only this time, I had to watch. Only this time, it was to keep me safe. She let the woman who gave birth to her put a gun in her mouth, all to keep me alive. She knew that Brenda wouldn't stop until she got to us all, and she made sure that would never happen again.

I'd wanted to tell her then how brave I thought she was, how she'd never understand the emotions I felt watching Brenda hurt her in front of me and not being able to do anything about it. The rage built up inside of me so quickly that I took the first available shot I had. I knew it wasn't protocol, and there was plenty of heat on me after, but all that mattered was she came home next to me instead of in a body bag.

How do you repay someone who gifted you with another day on Earth? Is there any amount of time or love that would ever be enough to make up for the sacrifice she was willing to make? I didn't know, but I was certain that I'd spend the rest of my days trying to figure it out. For now, I'd just cover every inch of her in love and hope it was enough to say everything I wanted to, but didn't know how.

taglist: @sammyrenae68 @insomniren @realdirectionx @ellamalfoypotter @deblou008 @ssamorganhotchner @dangerouslittlefairy @iamanironmanfan

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga >:) pt. 3

more and more paragraphs ahead.  BE PREPARED!

i’m also writing this at 3 am so please bear with the horrendous grammar and punctuation.

chapter 63

i know he’s probably like this with everyone but i love how excited he is bragging about his students to her.  he’s like a child telling his mother about an amazing adventure he had with his friends, making sure he mentions every detail.  in the anime, their conversation lasted for 3:41 :3 backwards 341 is 143 which means i love you.  

1 letter = i

4 letters = love

3 letters = you

chapter 63

i love her fit!  i also like how both of them like to wear baggy clothing that accentuates their collarbones `w` it’s like they’re matching in a way.  even if she did tell him to cut the crap, she still let him run his mouth to his content LOL i feel like if he didn’t compliment himself at the end, she would have said something different.  UGH HE LOOKS SO HAPPY CALLING HER

 ah, let me translate the conversation just in case anyone needs it.

utahime: you wanted to talk about the investigation, right?

gojo: well, got any idea who?

utahime: i have no idea.  no one seems suspicious.  what do we do now?  should we ask the students for help?

gojo: yeah, that’s fine.  i’m busy so asking the kids would be okay.  keep looking.  i’m counting on you.

I THINK THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SAY.

OR it could mean that she’s asking if they should start investigating the students.  it would make sense either way because gojo says in the next panel that he doesn’t want to assume that the mole is a student, and in chapter 79, gojo sends the trio to utahime to help her.  

chapter 63

these two love their students to death.  neither of them wanted to assume that the mole was a student.  in chapter 79, when utahime is talking to the trio about the mole, nobara points out to the group that the traitor must be from kyoto because utahime is the one who’s reaching out to the tokyo side.  utahime has a dismal look on her face, almost like she’s saying, “i didn’t want it to turn out this way -- for this to be true.”  after mechamaru says his farewells to miwa on the train, mai tries to talk about what he did to which utahime says, “it doesn’t matter, he’s dead, after all,” with a similar sunken expression.  i just love how her care for the students is one of the biggest aspects of her personality that’s been showcased so far.  it’s also cool how it ties together with gojo’s belief that no child’s youth should be taken away.  i truly think these two have the capacity to understand each other to a deep level, down to the core.  seeing as utahime is also a teacher, it’s safe to assume that she also wants to raise the next generation of sorcerers to be strong.  utahime and gojo’s similarities and contrasting elements are so interwined, i really wonder if it’s intentional.  like am i looking too much into this?  are utahime and gojo really meant to be this connected?  think about it.  similar motivations, care of the kids, contrasting palettes, the bickering, long history.  IT’S JUST TOO MUCH. 

also can we mention how their phone calls and meetings must be heavily planned out?  this means they’ve talked and interacted with each other A LOT behind the scenes.  she doesn’t answer his call with “what do you want?  don’t bother me on my day off.”  she knows exactly why he’s calling her and they even speak in code.  she probably meets up with him and tells him to call her on a specific day and at a specific time.  they must know each other’s schedules very well in order to execute this investigation in complete secrecy.  when he says, “we can never be too sure who is listening in around utahime” it implies that they find calling a risk, so in order to guarantee that there is no one around, they have to meet up in person.  see where i’m getting at?  they talk A LOTTT and most likely are aware of each other’s daily lives.  

the fact that gojo is her main source of stress when he’s literally a 3 hour train ride away from her is hilarious LMAOOOO.  you know what that means, right?  he must call and text her constantly about random things to annoy her.  

chapter 65

ah yes, my favorite moment by far.  look at that smile on his face.  

chapter 65

he loves saying her name.  he probably rushed over with the sole purpose of doing something like this to her LMAOOOO like i mean, mei was in there with her so technically they both needed to be helped but judging from his words and expression, he only wanted to help utahime.  notice how mei’s not there in the debris.  could she possibly have suspected gojo’s presence or an outside force?  or was she fast enough to avoid being in the debris?  either way, her lack of presence in this scene helps highlight the fact that this is a special interaction between utahime and gojo.  he refers to her in a very familiar sense.  the most formal way to address someone is by their last name followed by the honorific, -san.  in gojo’s case, he should be calling her iori-san if they weren’t acquainted.  he doesn’t even bother to call her utahime-senpai.  granted, gojo is not the most respectful and socially competent person out there because geto points this out to him.  he isn’t even aware that she finds him annoying because he views her bad attitude toward him as her just playing along with him.  he probably thinks she’s flirting back LOLOL

since he asks her “you cryin?” that definitely means that gojo witnessed her crying on one occasion or maybe multiple.  who knows, the old utahime could have been a very emotional person.  while this is happening, mei is close to gojo, she then asks him if he would console her if she were to cry in a flirtatious manner.  gojo dismisses her attempt at flirting with him and says she won’t cry because she’s strong.  now normally, you’re supposed to face the person you’re talking to, GOJO.  he KEEPS his eyes on her even when more people come to join the conversation.  

now, we can all agree that geto, mei, and shoko are better at picking up social cues than gojo.  they probably knew the vibe of the conversation and decided to play along with gojo’s antics.  

chapter 65

WE were worried about you.

pay attention to the order of the characters that show up.  gojo makes his appearance first, then geto, followed by shoko.  based on utahime’s reaction to seeing shoko, it’s evident that these two share a close bond.  shouldn’t shoko be the one to arrive on the scene first?  she’s the closest to utahime and would therefore be more concerned about her condition, right?  i know shoko’s technique doesn’t really allow her to do anything other than treat the wounds of others, but if you heard your friend was missing, you would definitely rush to the scene.  

look at geto’s reaction when mei says, “you’re the one who’s picking on her, geto.  you don’t even know it.”  i think it’s mei who’s saying this because gojo calls geto “suguru”.  but anyway, mei is aware that they’re picking on her.  i don’t think she’s the type to legitimately bully someone for their strength.  her reaction to all of this is very playful and her “heh heh heh” is proof of that.  when geto shows up and swallows the curse before it gets to utahime, he says, “satoru.  it’s not nice to pick on the weak.”  by saying this, he pisses utahime off because he too, is joining in on gojo’s joke.  i believe he’s unaware that he’s making fun of utahime because his reaction is “gah!” with a sweatdrop.  he probably thought gojo was making fun of weak people in general.  

geto’s usually a gentleman seeing as it is canon that he is more popular with girls than gojo.  BUT WHO KNOWS...you gotta be a specific type of person to be best friends with gojo.  maybe he ain’t shit too...  okay, my point is that everyone is just playing along.  when shoko shows up, utahime is relieved to see her because shoko doesn’t tease her like this.  since utahime tells shoko to not become like those two, this implies that geto teases her as well (probably not as much as gojo).  we all know geto is really big on looking out for the weak so he probably wouldn’t have insulted her for real.  

verdict: utahime being weak is just a joke.  i’ve mentioned this so many times, sorry if it’s getting annoying and repetitive hehehehehe...

chapter 65

these three aren’t irresponsible.  geto and gojo are a troublesome duo for sure, but they’re dependable.  seems unlike them to forget something so simple and essential to pretty much every mission.   

chapter 65

here’s my headcanon.  they were hanging outside or in the car when their assistant manager got a call.  the assistant was informed that two days have elapsed since mei and utahime went on their mission (or last contacted someone).  

gojo: that’s weird.  mei’s with her so they should have finished exorcising the spirit sooner.

geto: you think something happened to them?  maybe it’s a strong special grade.

gojo: utahime probably dragged mei down with her.  poor mei-san~  

gojo gets up 

geto: where are you going?  

gojo: going to save utahime!  it’s fine i’ll put up a curtain!

manager: gojo wait!!!!!!!!!!!

geto sighs

shoko: that idiot’s always running off without us.

they pin the blame on gojo for saying that he’ll put up a curtain and leaving the assistant manager behind.  you know what this means?  he ran and the manager couldn’t catch up HEHE... why the rush, gojo?  were you actually concerned about her?  

tbh i don’t see gojo ever running to something unless it’s urgent.  the fact that he ran to save her says a lot.  

----

let me know if you have any thoughts or questions!  i forgot to add this but gojo had a more serious expression when he was explaining how they must’ve been trapped in a barrier that messes with time.  he then states, “we thought it was weird even though you’re here, mei.”  i know he was probably worried sick because if mei couldn’t be contacted then that means something must’ve happened to utahime too.  okay that’s it for now.  i’ll be bringing up this little detail i’ve noticed about utahime in the manga next :3

[jiminrings]

hi OHMDHHD STEM KOO is the cutest and sulky stem!koo!!! r u kiddinggg. So What if jungkook sees yoongi eating off of y/n's lunchboxes and his mind just goes...

stem koo sees someone else eating from his lunchbox(s) and freaks out 🥺🥺! senior oc is like o_o! thank u for writing

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo’s so mad that he might pop a vein

“do i even wanna know what happened to you last night?”

yoongi grimaces at you first thing in the morning, his grogginess proving no hindrance in being annoying himself

you’ve woke up with no hangover at all because you didn’t go back to the party to get your fill, the fresh experience still a little new

“jungkook asked me if i could walk him home and i did.”

:O

you did wHAT now

sure, yoongi knows that no matter how ruthless you could be, you’d still go the extra mile if someone asked you to

but for jUNGKOOK?!?!

as in jungkook, the junior you have (maybe had at this point) a crush on, and have been making lunchboxes for a duration of two weeks?

also jungkook, the same guy who was a colossal asshole and have been more or less giving away the lunches you’ve secretly been making him??

THAT jungkook????

“y/n what do you have to say for yourself?” he gasps audibly, trying to shove at you but not without almost poking his eyes from pointing out the crusties

alright you expected this

you kinda deserve this

“buT he was like, two seconds away from a breakdown so i felt compelled to take care of him.” 

that bit’s actually true and kook was about to cry in the middle of a party right then and there

he would’ve also rubbed his eyes raw to the point that he’d forget he made the stupid decision of wearing his eye contacts!!!

“yeah, yeah, i understand that part!!!” yoongi admits and he commends you in all honesty, “but what if he misinterprets that?”

oh

you stop in your tracks at making a hangover bagel, attention clearly more piqued this time

“but there’s nothing to misinterpet..?”

LMAOOOO

ok maybe that’s where you’re wrong

yoongi scoffs at the question marks floating above your hand, scoffing even more when you still don’t get it

“no offense, but have you ever seen jungkook? he looks like the type to get attached too quickly. to the delivery guy. to a stain on the wall. to a laminated copy of his class schedule. he’d be a puppy sniffing at your heels in no time, y/n.”

>:(

“no he wouldn’t.”

......

uhhhhh

you, in fact, should probably listen to yoongi more

it’s monday and for the entirety of your day up until lunch, you’ve been getting stares at the back of your head!!!

you can’t see who but you kNOW that someone just keeps looking at you

you want to stare back to creep them off but you just!! can’t!! tell!! who!!

it’s frankly getting annoying and it’s making the hairs at the back of your neck stand up

“you’re the bEST!! you made me lunch and i didn’t have to beg??” yoongi exclaims when you slide a lunchbox towards him, hugging you by force when he sees that it’s his favorite rolls inside

lol cute

if only you didn’t view yoongi completely platonically and in a very repulsive way, he would’ve been your boyfriend by now

“yesterday. you didn’t beg yesterday and you only had to beg twenty times in the days before that,” you chuckle as he squeezes you, having to tug at his hair as soon as the hug started getting too long

man that is fREEING

you wipe off the imaginary crumbs he’s given you, scratching at the back of your neck when you furrow your brows in annoyance

“hey yoongi, is there someone behind me? jesus, someone’s been staring at the back of my head all day and it’s literally burning me.”

he’s been glancing up the whole time, cheeks full from the rice and it’s only when you call him out loud that he sTOPS chewing, head tilting automatically

yoongi actually starts chewing faster and that makes you THINK he has something to say, making you feel pressured nonetheless that you jostle him to get him to chew faster

jeez why’s he choking now

you offer your water bottle to him that he takes a longer than necessary sip from, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, only to nonchalantly gesture to the back of you

“you mean jungkook?”

huh

alright WHO now

listen

you have nEVER seen jungkook like this

BUT NEITHER HAS JUNGKOOK EVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS

NOR YOONGI

NOR EVERYTHING LIKE THIS!!!

he woke up extra early and all because he was beyond motivated

and he even stayed up last night to search up crafts!!! 

origami box crafts to house your eyedrops that he was gonna return to you!!!

but tHEN he realized that the paper would quickly be ruined regardless if he puts them in his pocket or backpack

and so jungkook mADE a little drawstring pouch instead

but then it started looking a little too plain and a little too perfect that you’d probably think he got it from the store and that he didn’t make it himself!!!

SO NATURALLY

jungkook had to design it somehow and learn how to stitch on a heart!!!!

but what if that was a little too romantic for eyedrops?? :///

alright fINE

he stitched on an outline of a carebear holding the heart

bUT WHAT IF you’d think it was just a ratty hand-me down or something???

jungkook stitched on your initials on the carebear

..... hold on

is he even sure that those are your initials

fuck it

jungkook has an origami box, a carebear heart initial drawstring pouch and a plain ol’ ziplock baggie in his backpack just in case

he devised a strategic plan on how to drop in the item at the last minute when he decides which approach to take after he finds you

a-after..... he finds....... you

is that..

is that his fucking LUNCHBOX????

THAT’S HIS LUNCHBOX???????

jungkook could literally see red

his yearly check-ups are all up to date but holy fuck absolutely NO ONE said that his blood pressure is capable of rising up like this

all he has is tunnel vision for his pastel blue lunchbox and the unfortunate blonde guy attached to it

he has NEVER walked this fast with so much purpose

he doesn’t even realize that people are going out of his path because sheesh they’ve also nEVER seen jeon jungkook from stem ever look this determined nor furious

he’s clenching his jaw so hard that he might not have to get his wisdom teeth taken out

“that’s my lunchbox.”

jungkook seethes from his teeth and the vein at the side of his neck is making the same appearance as his flared nostrils

he’s seeing red to the point that he doesn’t even realize that he’s seething at his senior, and even min yoongi at that

he’s seeing red and his blue lunchbox at the same time that he doesn’t even realize that you’re sitting rIGHT next to where he’s stood while he stares yoongi down

no one knows how to react actually

you’re too frozen, yoongi’s too appalled, and jungkook’s too angry

oh my fucking god

wAIT

it’s actually dawning on you that you’re about to get found out in front of jungkook and almost half of the entire university a-and-

“you think you’re the only one with the same blue lunchbox in the world?” yoongi recuperates from his shock and saves you as soon as he realizes the gravity of the situation when your eyes are wide and emotional instead of being narrowed and blank, “you’re not that special. think again, kid.”

yeah his tone might’ve been patronizing

but gOD yoongi is beyond offended

yeah jungkook might be a lil pissy bitch but he IS eating from “his” lunchbox or whatever

but never in a million years did he think that the kid would have some balls on him to approach him like that

fyi yoongi would nEVER come to his senior like that!!!! he wouldn’t even have the gall to come up and approach seokjin like that just some years ago!!!!!

jungkook balls his fists at that and he comes down off of the situation a little, but it never gets quite diffused

“maybe i’m not.”

his gaze lightened on yoongi but it’s still as hard as it’s skeptical, walking away wordlessly but not without sending you a soft gaze quickly

“but i know that sticking my nose to where it should belong is my specialty.”

[wendytestabrat]

Is there any moments where kyle feel heartbroken by cartman, like you said when kyle alaways mad but never cries, I know he feel betray and sabotage and lied by cartman, but what about heart break? 🤔

omg i got so excited when i saw this question LOL like honestly it’s hard to tell when kyle has been heartbroken bc he isn’t the type to like weep and cry when he gets sad, like if cartman hurts him or betrays him he just gets rlly pissed off and plans revenge or some shit LMAOOOO. the only obvious moments i can think of were in s20 when kyle cried after breaking cartman’s stuff and when he got upset after seeing cartman & heidi together. but i’ve said this before i think the entire tragedy of kyle’s character and his dynamic with cartman is that he just feels sad & butthurt bc he feels rejected by cartman. that’s why he cares sooo much when cartman insults him like kyle acts like he doesn’t care what cartman thinks and tries to act all tough and shit but he rlly does care about his opinion of him, i mean why else would kyle let cartman manipulate him so easily in so many episodes? LMAOOO like a moment that rlly surprised me was in “the list” after cartman joked around kyle should sit with the other ugly kids so he won’t feel ugly anymore, kyle actually took to heart what cartman said and then sat with the ugly kids LMAO. or the time when he went and saw the passion bc cartman wouldn’t stop talking about it and told him he should see it bc of the stuff about jews. if kyle rlly didn’t care what cartman thinks he would’ve just ignored these comments and gone about his day. but it’s like this with how cartman feels about kyle too u can tell cartman harbors a lot of jealousy towards kyle and feels like he’s not good enough for him either which is why cartman is insecure about admitting his feelings. it’s basically mutual unrequited love LMAOOO. even tho i think cartman is way more aware of what’s going on between them than kyle is. kyle is completely oblivious and he gets hurt and takes it to heart way more easily when cartman insults him than cartman does when kyle insults him bc he honestly just wants cartman to like him and to get along with him and he thinks when cartman is being mean and insulting him he means it for real. with cartman it’s almost like he gets a sick kick out of kyle insulting him bc he knows kyle doesn’t rlly mean it or something and can see right through kyle’s bs that kyle likes him back LMAOOOO.

[kiri-tired]

Thank you for providing yujikiri goodness 😊😊😊😊

😅 😅 😅 💦 💦 HOO BOI... don't thank me just yet..!! at some point I will definitely provide some yujikiri TRASH that'll make you (and everyone else) feel instant regret LMAOOOO

but ahhh, I'm glad I could provide some food for the fandom, I hope it keeps growing! (⌒▽⌒) I've actually been watching it from afar for a very long time. I think it's been almost 2 yrs now. (pandemic killed my sense of time LOL)

These two really have become special to me, I personally haven't found an anime duo this compelling and fulfilling in awhile---and I just only happen to find them by accident??

Gosh, I don't even remember what & how exactly I discovered them, but I know it was through this damn screenshot... (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

I was so SHOOKeth to learn that Kirito: the long-time anime mmo/isekai harem king icon--was GAY. or that SAO had gay content in general! This was a very bold move and quite a pleasant surprise. I friggin love the irony of whenever a supposed harem anime has one(1) single secret gay route. (It's like cracking open a tasty chocolate easter egg.) 😎

But most of all, I was immediately drawn to that polite-looking blonde, just from this pic alone. Who is he? I thought. It was pretty much love at first sight. 🙈 I could tell he was a sweet, dreamy/sensitive boy---which is just my type??  Also he looks gnc AF 

The more I learned about Eugeo, the more huggable and lovable he became to me.

And as more as I looked into Eugeo, the more I got to see T H E M...

I already said it but Yujikiri really was one of the most if not THE most compelling and wholesome anime duo's I've seen in awhile. Their handshake and their opening sword stance is so iconic, and they in general are just precious and badass. There's alot of other beautiful things about them that I just don't even know how to describe...

They’re such the healthiest relationship and the deepest pair of bros. Eugeo brings a new “Genki Aniki”-side to Kirito and I think it��s amazing. Honestly, their friendship rivals other anime bro/bestie duos like Killua&Gon and Kamina&Simon for me---what they’ve built with eachother and how they are mutthafuggin hopelessly gay mutually pining for eachother is just absolutely unparalleled. 

They'll make you smile, they'll make you hyped, they'll touch you and make you friggin cry & rip your heart out when they suffer... I seriously had my heart stolen by this pair, and I’m glad to be (finally) dedicating a whole-ass blog to it. 😂 👌 💯