#//just forgot all about it. op has ADHD//

[thedemon-crowley]

Coping just fine without Aziraphale around, thanks.

This evening I ate the paper on the bottom of a bao bun before I remembered that was a thing because I ate the stupid thing so quickly I didn’t notice it and Aziraphale wasn’t there to tell me to slow down.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

this person has me blocked, which is something i used to genuinely lament because occasionally i'd see bits of their very thoughtful commentary floating across my dash, and i'd find myself sighing sadly over what other gems of wisdom i was missing out on by not having access to their blog. i'd even lament about it via dms to some of my pals who did still have access to this person's blog. what interesting discussions must have been happening beyond that "???" "this is no one" "uh, who??" opaque door that tumblr always presented to me whenever i clicked on this person's username? would i ever know?

a friend this morning: want to see a bad take to get mad at

me: obviously yes

anyway as it turns out, it looks like i'm missing out on exactly nothing, actually, so that's a huge relief

more seriously, recalling the insightful commentary that i have seen this person reblog in the past when it has come across my dash, i am frankly in awe of this one, because it is so profoundly disconnected from reality and how people experience stories. like i'm not even sure where to start with peeling back all of the wrongness layers at work here because i haven't taken my adhd meds yet this morning, but the primordial stupidity at this take's core (coming from someone who is clearly smart, ftr, i am targeting the stupidity of the concept, not the person) has made me genuinely angry. it's not even just about applying this framework to mdzs, though of course it is principally about that because this book DOES actually place class front and centre at multiple points in the narrative. it's the idea that we just shouldn't be having conversations about classism, or sexism, or [x]-ism, in the romance genre, because don't we realize the point is the romance, actually?? these other things clearly don't matter and aren't worth talking about??? and this mindset is so utterly foreign to me because at no point have i ever felt compelled to stop myself from thinking thoughts about a book because "oh, but this is genre fiction, i need to turn my brain off to read and enjoy this, i forgot." or "this thought is not appropriate because genre fiction, i'd better stop thinking it before i ruin the story."

like. i am deeply, deeply sorry for this person, actually, that they are not picking up on precisely what mxtx is putting down in the text, especially considering mxtx has explicitly explored themes of class in at least two of her novels (i'll get back to you on including svsss once i've read it). but also, a critique of class in the jianghu, or how mxtx has written her female characters, is entirely as valid use of fandom time and energy as writing one more definitely original and not remotely repetitive thinkpiece on the power of wangx!an's morally good love to overcome all obstacles (not saying OP wrote any of these, just that there ARE a bunch of them out there).

like. why do you want to simplify the experience of reading and thinking and talking about these books? why do you want to push for more boring analysis of stories? why are you using your platform to encourage this? i'm so mad about it actually. people listen to you, and this is what you're encouraging them to do: think less.

[lycandrophile]

i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!

[buttfrovski]

What are your most harmless, weird headcanons? I just know Cartman is an avid penpaller, except he's really mean and makes fun of all of his penpals.

fuck that's such a good headcanon.

i wouldn't say i'm the most original with hcs

i hc kyle is a sports-hopper like i was. signed up for every sport under the sun but eventually got sick of it and quit.

tweek had a metal / punk phase at some point, he still likes metal music tho.

i was gonna say stan has beef with his art teacher but that is kinda canon cuz of the TP episode

butters and stan love the petting zoo.

craig and kenny are the types to not bother with school and still do well. kenny way more than craig.

tweek and craig can never meet up after school cuz craig either has detention or tweek has a shift at the coffee shop.

clyde is the typa guy to run the "gyatt" and "skibidi" jokes into the ground. jimmy would make those jokes too but be more clever about it and understand when the jokes old.

tolkien and stan are now best buddies and have designated d&d sessions where they stock up on junk food. kyle is mildly jealous of this despite being friends with both tolkien and stan and hanging out with them separately.

cartman does not fuck around when it comes to just dance. he is also the worst person to play most games with cuz he will camp at spawn point and never revive teammates.

very specific... but when playing COD black ops 2 nuketown, kenny gets distracted staring at the mannequins' tits.

tweek is a jack of all trades. you can see it in the show- the darts, legos, playing piano, etc. it's a total adhd thing to pick up 600 hobbies- bonus points if you don’t master any of them.

after sumo and boxing, craig and tweek picked up martial arts together and hated it. but they did get their black belts.

ik some ppl hc tweek can NOT sing but i hc he can. you can hear his backing vocals during the opening of put it down and it sounds pretty to me.

i had some more but forgot them.

[nells-universe]

(⚠️pokemon irl / rotomblr blog, unreality warning!!⚠️ read ooc before interacting!!)

hii hello!! my name is nellie but you can call me nell :) im a girl and im 15!! i have audhd too so umm please be nice

i became a trainer last year but i finally wanted to set out on a journey, and im trying to become the champion!! i love aliens and cryptids and i really want to prove that they're real!! mostly because people still don't understand beheeyem!!

please take me seriously.

MY TEAM!!!!

peridot — espeon — my partner pokemon and best friend!! she loves going exploring with me and sleeping in the sun :D

bixbite — beheeyem — the first pokemon i caught in the wild (when she was still an elgyem!!) she's very curious and likes to follow me around!!

sapphire — boldore — my main battling pokemon!! i found her when i first moved to unova!! she's very affectionate and excitable!!

vivi — eevee — non battler and emotional support pokemon!! she has super cool fur and she's very soft!!

i also have an egg!! no idea what itll be but i hope to take good care of it!!

//OOC UNDER CUT

[also check out pokemoncryptids THEYRE VERY COOL AND INSPIRED ME A LOT!!!]

asks / anons!

musharna mail / malice is off!

pelliper mail is on!

magic anons are off!

in-character anon hate is on!

basically anything else that you can think of is on!

dni / boundaries:

- don't send me any asks that have romantic or sexual implications. this includes sexual humor, joke flirting, or anything similar. i don't care if it's a joke, it makes me very uncomfortable

- if you're gonna be a jerk you can just. leave. i don't need to put up with that 🫶 don't call anyone cringe, and don't bring that stuff onto my blog

- pokemon are treated very similarly to animals here, so don't sexualize them. don't be weird.

tagging guide / content warnings

#pkmn irl resources— reblogged tips and resources for making a rotomblr rp blog

#ic vent— in character vent posts

#blog boosting— new blog intros, reblogging for engagement

#non rotomblr blog— i'll occasionally reblog posts where OP isn't a rotomblr user, this tag is just so people know they aren't involved in any sort of RP

#pokemon pics— ...pokemon pics

- there will be a lot of references to illness, hospitals, or other medical related things. this is all tagged under the general tag of #CW: medical

- this blog will be fairly low stakes for now, but i do plan on making a bigger story for it! all potentially triggering things will be tagged with #CW: [thing], tell me if you need anything tagged or if i forgot something!!

other / about me!

- nell uses she/her, but when referring to me (the mod,) use they/them or he/him!

- i'm autistic and i have adhd! there might be interactions that seem awkward or unnatural, so please try and be patient with me ^_^

- pokemon is my primary special interest, and cryptids come pretty close!! i'm less interested in the supernatural side of them (mothman, jersey devil, etc.) but i do love aliens!! a lot!!

[ all likes and follows come from @.peridotporygon ]

[postcardsfromthevoid]

So ive been an MA supervisor for a couple of years now (I’ve released 2 seminars of students and now I’m in the middle of a third, each on a VASTLY different research topic, why thank you I was diagnosed with adhd recently how did u know) and every seminar has this one type of student that is a dude and also the chicken from Moana.

Why, you might ask? Well, working with them on their MA dissertation is like Moana trying to keep chicken Hei Hei alive.

Hei Hei is usually a conventionally looking European white dude with the unearned confidence of a, well, conventionally looking European white dude in academia.

Hei Hei is the dude who attended his final MA consultation on his (overdue) thesis with me, his MA supervisor, wearing a comfy sweatshirt with a “I just don’t give a fuck” embroidered on the chest and not of any ill intent but just because he did not realize what it said and how it could be interpreted as him, in fact, not giving a fuck (I asked) (did I mention this all happens in English studies).

Hei hei is also the dude who, when asked about the final chapter of his thesis, which on closer inspection (by me, his supervisor) seemed to contradict the previous two chapters of his thesis said: “So I thought the results section is just where I put all my tables with the numbers and that will show a result”, on which he then commented with a sad head shake - “I think I was wrong.” (he was, indeed, wrong on that and also the tables were wrong and the data in the tables did not make sense because you put all of the variables in the same column even though you measured them in different units hei hei)

(Hei hei the chicken from Moana regurgitating a stone, much like Hei Hei the student throwing up unprocessed data into the results section of his thesis).

Hei hei also forgot about his thesis defense. And then forgot to confirm that he is going to attend the additional date that the MA committee kindly agreed to schedule for him, keeping us all in suspense. Was he going to show up or did I ask two university professors to clear out their calendars to hang out in my office for no reason?

(He did show up 2 (two) minutes before his scheduled defense, completely unconcerned).

I got lovely flowers from this year’s Hei Hei, who got a Master’s degree even though he forgot the definition of gesture defending a thesis that was about gesture. The previous Hei Hei is happily employed in the theater industry. I am very proud of them both and hope to never have to interact professionally with either.

So all I’m saying I relate to OPs comic on a personal level.

[coredrill]

ok i lied i watched the first TWO eps of edgerunners LMAO

ep 1 thots:

VIOLENT MURDER IN THE FIRST MINUTE LMAO LOVE TO SEE IT

david experiencing sex in the first four minutes and immediately saying “cut the shit” YEAH HE WON ME OVER ALREADY LMFAOOOOO

i was taking notes in my phone and during david’s first convo with his mom i literally wrote “yoko’s gonna fucking die :(”

I LOVE COLORS

i want access to wakabayashi’s spotify account!!!!!

there is literally a man with gold-plated gloves they are NOT pulling their punches on this one huh! just like prmr w its hatred of ecofascism tbh

mom and david having different goals :(

i think david has adhd <3

good god. you can really tell this was written by not-trigger!!! for one the storytelling is very americanized imo, like i was able to predict everything that was about to happen and with nakashima (& other trigger writers) all i can predict is “some kind of alien reveal 60% of the way thru” LSDKJF. but like also iirc trigger has mentioned how they didn’t want to double down TOO hard on the whole bigotry/genocide aspects of prmr and wallow in that bc they wanted the movie to remain fun, but like, not a second of the first ep goes by when you’re not reminded of the situation david is in due to being poor (and also being born on the “wrong side of town” which i assume is a thing from the game but idk)

yukiko kakita. absolutely KILLLING the color design here, holy shit everything’s so bright and vibrant and there are so many colors. I LOVE COLORS!!!!!! but truly what else is to be expected from the color designer of prmr and bna and the twins!!!!! LIKE!!!!!!!! best in the business for real

ofc the first thing trigger animates is two sex scenes 😭

some of the slang is ROUGH lmao i assume it’s also from the game but still

WHERE ARE LUCY AND REBECCA I WANT INSANE WOMEN

also i still think david’s gonna die in ep 6-7 CALLING IT NOW

ok so overall this ep was fine but it felt pretty rote in its story (but like, it’s not trigger writing so obv) and also??? aside from the colors and designs i feel like it hasn’t REALLY played into imaishi’s strengths as a director yet but i’m hoping it’s cause it’s just starting out and there will be batshit occurrences later on

ep 2 thots:

me “i’m gonna watch one ep per day 😊” also me “i want to see the op and i also want insanity so two eps 😊”

I AM NOT IMMUNE TO GUY WALKING LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!

i do LOVE the shots from inside david’s dryer they are so niceeeeee

lucy being a few inches taller than david WE LOVE TO SEE IT

david using the ;) emoji I AM ENDEARED.

crimes hell yes

SO AT THIS POINT MY FRIEND FINISHED WATCHING EP1 AND TEXTED ME AND POINTED OUT THAT THE SEX MACHINES HAD MULTIPLE HANDS WHICH I DID NOT NOTICE 💀

the scene on the moon was so fun and cute :( like i know they’re gonna have david and lucy get together but i thought this was fun despite that :(

BRO THEY GOT ME. i was so focused on lucy carrying the visual motifs of nia and lio and being the ~love interest~ that I FUCKIN FORGOT ABOUT NOVA LMAO. anyway yes girlbetrayal equality ✊

also i really love the like (at least at this point) subverting of expectations trigger has done w the visual motifs and storytelling that they usually rely on? like idk i thought lucy was just gonna be “the love interest” (not to say that nia and lio obviously aren’t more than that but like, just w the way lucy had been set up to that point i figured 10eps they were gonna just have her and david be together LMAO) but then BETRAYAL and also how they have ANOTHER yoko expy who is not just the mom friend but AN ACTUAL MOM but unlike yoko and aina (edit i forgot the kizuna girl lmao but her too) she dies :( idk i’m having fun w it so far!!

THE TRANSITION BETWEEN DAVID GETTING THE SHIT SMACKED OUTTA HIM TO THE ROCKET LAUNCHING THAT WAS PERFECTION!!!!

the ending animation is lovelyyyyyy i love the design and the purble and i want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT LUCY. TELL ME ABOUT HER I WANT TO KNOW WHO SHE IS AND WHAT SHE’S BEEN THRU

i liked ep2 a LOT more than ep1 personally. excited to watch 3 (and prob 4 akjdsf) tomorrow!!!!

also side note my friend texted me images of kamina, sanageyama, galo, and david and said “the trigger male character cinematic universe prevails!” and first of all LMAO HE’S SO RIGHT BUT ALSO. he’s only seen the first 2 eps of ttgl and I CANNOT WAIIIIIIIT FOR HIM TO LEARN THAT KAMINA DIES >:) ONE DAY LMAO. i feel like it’s gonna knock his socks off >:)

[createserenity]

I'm not autistic but I do have ADHD and everything in this post is so true for both these things. Yes everyone sometimes displays traits that are associated with autism or ADHD but doing those things sometimes but as the OP says it's when they start affecting things in a bigger way.

Sometimes those ways can seem really small, but it's when you put them all together that it makes the bigger picture.

For example you were going out and collected the car key from the place you always put it (because you've managed to develop that coping mechanism over the years) but then you remembered at least two other things you forgot, which meant you took the key with you and now you have lost it because whilst collecting those things you left it in a random place that bears no relation to a) anywhere vaguely sensible to put a key and b) the location of any of the other things you forgot. This is not a minor inconvenience that you can laugh about. It happens nearly everytime you try to leave the house. It's demoralising and shit and makes you feel useless. Then you cry because you're already late (see ADHD and time management) and now you're even later because you can't find the damn key yet again and just know it will be somewhere ridiculous. Now you're extremely stressed. If there are other people around you are probably yelling at them by now. Eventually you find the key on the sofa, or besides the bathroom sink, or on the floor next to the wardrobe or somewhere else daft. You leave the house, but you're stressed, anxious and possibly berating yourself for being so stupid. You swear you won't ever do this again, but you know you will and you don't understand why you can't just stop doing it.

This is only one of the ways your ADHD will make your life difficult and stressful today.

(For the record in case anyone is relating, I solved this problem by buying a Tile, which means I can find my keys by using my phone to make them emit a loud beeping noise. This is expensive and not something everyone can afford but if you can it has actually been life changing for me.)

All this is an example of the type of low support the OP was talking about. Generally I am very high functioning and you wouldn't know I was struggling, but that doesn't mean I don't need support.

Support isn't always another person, sometimes it's gadgets or apps that help to make life easier, sometimes it's buying all your meals from one of those companies where you pick recipes and they deliver all the ingredients already measured out and ready to go because that's the only way you can plan and cook healthy meals, sometimes it's medication or therapy, sometimes it's something else entirely. The point is that support isn't needed because of laziness or a temporary period of stress or overwhelm, it's needed because for people with ADHD and/or autism the brain works differently. That support also sadly often comes at a price that people can't afford and saying "everyone is a bit like that sometimes" is one of the things that stops people being able to access the finanical support they might need in order to access other forms of support they need.

There's so much wrong with "everyone is a little bit autistic"

Yes, allistic people might know a lot of facts about the things they like. Yes, allistic people might get a bit overwhelmed or underwhelmed sometimes. Yes, allistic people might not get an expression sometimes, mostly if it's the first time they hear it.

That doesn't make them autistic.

Those traits only make someone autistic when they become disabling. Because, big shock, autism is a disability. Yeah, even if someone is low support needs, because that doesn't mean they don't need any support at all.

Saying "everyone is a little bit autistic" is like saying "everyone struggles with this, so suck it up, you have no right to need help". Which is just pure ableist bullshit. It denies the fact that autistic people have higher support needs than NTs, no matter where in the autistic spectrum they are. We're not "neurospicy", we're disabled, and denying this fact is denying us the right to get the help we need, we deserve, to have a good life.

(yes, this rant is just because I made the awful decision of listening to "neurospicy (interlude)" by Jax. honestly I'd rather be called a slur than listen to that shit again.)

[onlyonekenobi]

Hi there 🐝💕 Firstly, thank you so much for your amazing blog.

Secondly, I was a fan of SPN many years ago and fell out of it for a while, only having gotten sucked back in after 15×18 (surprise). Back when I was into it before, there was a lot of discussion about Jensen being potentially homophobic, and now I'm noticing that there's been some..... less than awesome stuff said by Misha, too, in terms of the queerbaiting on the show and having only acted Castiel as in love with Dean this past season.

Obviously the content of the show itself proves this wrong, but it still troubles me, and I couldn't find much about it online other than a few posts by people and one con transcript. Do you have any feedback on this, and would you mind sharing it?

(Thank you so much, and no worries if you don't wanna answer, just keep being awesome!)

Hi!

I’ll do my best here, and I’ll try to track down some sources. also, idk if you sent this question to anyone else as well, but if you did, i’m interested to see what they say. if not, i am flattered to be your Trusted Source.

so, first: jensen re homophobia

I could be wrong, but I don’t remember him ever making any kind of “homophobic” comments OUTSIDE OF things regarding destiel that were construed that way by some fans (if i’m wrong, please let me know). I do remember him shutting down destiel comments, etc, and the infamous “?? no” which has since been debunked by the OP as having been taken out of context. (i can’t find the debunking post on my blog but if anyone has it please link!) with the shutting down destiel comments, he was definitely brash at times! but, I do think it’s also important to note that he and misha were explicitly told not to talk about it. and we know that jensen is (or at least especially used to be) a pretty shy guy, and I think destiel questions/comments being shoved in his face in a public setting- when addressing it could get him in trouble with his job- made him nervous and upset.

however, he took a noticeable shift re: destiel in recent years. for one, we know that he gave his blessing for the canon textual confession (again, I can’t find an og post in my absolute mess of late stage supernatural tags, but if anyone has the receipts, please drop them). I could add more of my own personal spec about how jensen shifted his acting choices in light of this information, but I’ll just move on. we know that he was excited about the confession scene. here’s a second post about that.

and re: general homophobia, here’s a post of jackles with pride flags, as well as a 2019 post from his aunt, who is gay. also, this is largely a shitpost, but I saw it in my jackles tag while looking for the above, and it feels relevant, so i’m including it. a little levity before we move on.

now, misha.

I am aware of misha saying two upsetting things in regards to “the confession wasn’t bury your gays, why are you so angry” Again, if there’s more that i’m forgetting, please let me know. The first was in this panel talk (start at 35:50) from November 22. Here is a relevant post about that moment (I also watched the whole panel live and agree with this post.) The second is this video on twitter, and the following thread, from Nov. 25. However, after several fans replied to him explaining why we were so upset, he issued this apology on Nov. 26. I wanted to give you the original link there, but I’m also including a screenshot with a thoughtful and important addition here. And here is a tweet about Misha finding out about The Castiel Project.

i’ve never heard anything about misha only acting cas as in love for the last season exclusively, so I don’t have any posts to expressly debunk it, but I do firmly believe that to be untrue, just based on things misha has let slip over the years

and for both of them, it’s worth noting that whenever they were asked direct questions about the show, they could only do their best to talk around things like queerbaiting, etc, because they obviously couldn’t actively speak out against the show or the network (like this). for example, we know that misha got a couple phone calls from producers on occasions where he toed the line a little too closely, and he commented how you unfortunately have to listen to the people who have the power to kill off your character (immediately following previous clip)

in conclusion

neither of them are homophobic. to the best of my knowledge, neither of them have ever made an outright homophobic comment. and in cases regarding destiel (again, to the best of my knowledge) they have both either changed course or apologized since making any unsavory comments.

there are also WAY more posts on all this that I didn’t include here. if you search the jensen or misha tags on my blog, or probably the blog of just about anyone i follow, you could look into it more

all that said, it’s also important to note that i am Just Some Guy. i did my best to compile this information in a relevant and meaningful way, but i have oversaturated-sponge-adhd-brain that has been actively following this fandom for a decade, and i’m sure some things got lost in there. so to anyone reading this, if i forgot anything critical, please don’t yell at me, i am but a simple internet jester, just like you.

and while we’re here, I’ll say that- while I do think it’s important to keep a critical eye trained everywhere- if we were going to criticize any spn cast members for unsavory comments, these two are certainly not where i would start

tl;dr, ultimately myself and jensen and misha are all Just Some Guy, and none of us know them, but as far as I can figure, they are both genuinely kind and thoughtful people who care about and respect the lgbt community, including their respective characters’ involvement in it and the real world consequences that has

[bi-rising]

i'm the attraction anon! as ever your answers are a fountain of knowledge to my ignorant ass lol. i do see your point about how attraction may be different for every person, so thanks for that!

i'm not a native english speaker tho so when i try to make my asks as short as possible not to bore people, the meaning of what i wanted to say in the first place changes. i did not mean to imply that lesbians (it was an example, they could be replaced with gays or straights tbh) don't ever have relationships with trans women!! i forgot the word "passing" exists so when i said female bodies, i meant to say a pre-op trans woman who doesn't pass and therefore has a masculine body, which i assumed lesbians wouldn't normally be attracted to (there are trans ppl who manage to look androgynous or like the sex they're aiming to transition to before they do, i mean those who don't—i said it sounded harsh at the end bc it's not something that i say lightly, without knowing how fucked up of a reality it is for trans ppl).

i know there are ppl who can't transition and that there's nothing wrong with that! i'm bi so to me it doesn't really matter, but i was trying to put myself in the shoes of a monosexual person. for example, imagine ariana grande happens to be a trans man. he can't transition bc he's not out, or for whatever reason that is ofc valid, so he has a female body/sex (i mean there's no other word for it, right? femenine? breasts, curves, long hair, etc). would a gay man or a straight woman be attracted to him when he fully looks like a woman? that's the kind of situation i meant. bc of what you told me, now i understand that there are people who don't mind the sex as long as the gender is the one they're attracted to (and that yes, it's wrong to bar pre-transition ppl from relationships), but i meant attraction at first sight, like being attracted to someone you see walking on the street. also, when you say genitals are the core of my point, yes, but i meant to say (again, my bad) that biological sex has a lot to do with attraction because consequences of one sex or the other (secondary sex characteristics) are related to masculinity and femeninity, but i guess that falls more on the preferences side? rather than actual sexuality... idk.

also, sorry that there are people shitting on you for your answer, to put you in such a position was not my intention at all!!

hello!! thank you so much for clarifying, like i said in the post, i wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, and i'm very glad that i was right in that!! and it's totally okay that you're not a native speaker, i think we just had a little bit of a misunderstanding between that and my adhd adskjfalsdkf oops

but yes!! going off of passing, then yes, i agree with you! if a person is not passing as their gender, then it's totally understandable for a monosexual person to not be attracted to them. i had misunderstood, and thought you were mainly talking about genitals and not passing/social transitioning! it's completely understandable for a monosexual person to not be attracted to someone who doesn't pass. which is tough for trans people, absolutely, and is one of the reasons why things like depression rates in trans people is so high.

anyway, yes, with your clarification, i agree with you! and as for the asshole in my notes, that was totally not your fault. idk why she even came for me; i've never seen her blog in my life, and it seemed like she was just going around looking to cause problems, based on the highly transphobic and biphobic things on her blog. it absolutely had nothing to do with you, so don't feel guilty about it, she was just looking to start a fight with someone and decided i'd unfortunately be her target adkaldskfasdf

[ckret2]

Okay so I got an ask like,

anonymous asked: whose ur favorite Hazbin character? Like your absolute #1 and why?

and technically my answer is Alastor, but Sir Pent is such a close second that I gave my reasons for him too in that ask, and now I’m making a second post about Alastor.

Reasons I really like Alastor but like, only slightly more than Sir Pent:

- Honestly “I can suck ya dick” *IMMEDIATE BRAIN BREAK FACE* is probably the moment I, like, mentally latched on to Alastor’s character, and at that point I don’t think I even knew yet that the creator had said he was ace. It just... I could feel the aceness in my soul. Like that thing where Jedi run into somebody and go “oh you’re strong in the Force, I can tell.” That was just such a perfect and succinct ace joke, and by that I mean like it feels like a joke from an ace perspective. Like it was so relatable.

- tbh half my reasons for liking Alastor are “oh that’s relatable,” which is hilarious, because like... I don’t like characters because I relate to them, ever, but because I think they’re interesting in their strange/different ways. Alastor is the sole exception I can think of where half the reasons I like him is because I look at him and go “oh big mood.” Other ace or aro characters I’ve seen in the past just make me go “oh... okay. cool. nice, representation for me” and then I don’t really care about them. Alastor, though, the SECOND I learned he was ace, something in my brain went “FUCK YES. ONE OF OURS.” I immediately sat down and started writing a character study fic about Alastor being ace/aro in the exact same precise way that I’m ace/aro, and that was even before we got confirmation that he was aro. I was ready to go all in on him anyway.

- Half the reason I like his ace/aro-ness when I don’t care about it as much on other characters is because like... usually, when you get an ace/aro character, it goes one of two ways:

1) their entire character is built around/“in tune with” their ace/aro-ness, in a way. Most obvious when you have the stereotypical “robot/alien that cannot love,” but also seen in “character that is naive and pure and innocent and lustless,” “character that acts like an actual literal child,” “character that acts like a bad autism cliche,” “character that’s too cold or cruel or emotionless to feel love,” etc. And that’s boring, when they’re only ace/aro because the writer cannot imagine a character Like That being any other way, or because the writer cannot imagine an ace/aro being Any Other Way. 

Or, 2) they’re written as “too normal,” as in, like, NOTHING ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY or life experiences or anything seems shaped AT ALL by the fact that they do not share an internal sense of lust and/or romance that most of the rest of the human species not only has, but also is obsessed with.

And Alastor falls in neither camp. He’s gregarious and talkative and puts on little performances wherever he goes, and he obnoxiously butts in on somebody else’s group project by begging for an opportunity to help out and then obnoxiously volunteers his friends who hate him to help with the group project, and he’s manipulative and dangerous and secretive and violent, and he hides his emotions and he disguises when he’s feeling weak... and also the quickest way to throw him off his game is to make a sexual pass at him because he’s blindsided so hard by it that it’s like for a moment there he forgot that sex exists.

And that’s what I want to see. A character whose personality isn’t based on/tied into his ace/aro-ness, BUT we can clearly see his character IS INFLUENCED by the fact that he views the world through a completely different lens from everyone else.

I can imagine that Alastor had to puzzle through What Is Love/What Is Desire, purely on a psychological “what’s going on inside other people’s heads?” level, as an outside observer incapable of participating it and trying to understand it based on anecdotes and fictionalized accounts and descriptions and conversations, comparing it to the emotions inside his own head and trying to go “so it’s kind of like this feeling plus that one and those, but More, and Different, and in that Other Direction.” I can imagine that as a kid Alastor “decided” to have crushes because he knew it was about that time it should be starting, and it hadn’t happened by then, so maybe what he needs to do is pick whoever he thinks is best-looking and get going with the crushing on them, right? I can imagine that Alastor spent his teen years waiting for his desires to “turn on” the way they did for everyone else, and being slightly puzzled when they took so long, but also okay with it because the more he thought about it the more it seemed like it was probably a nuisance—no one around him was someone he’d like to be attracted to—so he was fine with the fact it was taking so long, and he sort of assumed that it wasn’t because he didn’t have the capacity for desire but because none of his peers were desirable to him. I can imagine that he had his first kiss at like fifteen and thought it was horrible and gagged on it, and within an hour decided this was absolutely hilarious.

I can imagine Alastor having all these experiences—which are experiences I had. I’ve never seen another ace/aro character I can easily and naturally imagine having a single experience in common with me. Because no other ace/aro characters feel to me like ace/aro characters. They’re either characters with an ace/aro sticker arbitrarily and meaninglessly slapped on them, or they’re a walking stereotype about lovelessness.

- Besides Alastor’s spectacular Asexuelle Panique™ face, the other single line that made me latch onto him was “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” There are some very specific character types that I’m an absolute sucker for, and one of them is: extremely powerful character, at the top of their game, unstoppable and uncontrollable and unmatched, a loner who likes it that way, BUT they’re bored as hell, either because they’ve met all their goals or because they don’t know how to set any—and the boredom is eating them up inside, it’s driving them slowly mad, the sheer tedium of trying to fill one day after another with nothing to do is weighing down on them, if depression is usually compared to a heavy rain then this depression is like an endless empty waiting room, or depression like solitary confinement, or depression like an unmoving sun shining on an infinite flat desert, the depression of a completely empty hollow life leveled flat by infinite interminable boredom, a boredom they would do ANYTHING to get rid of, a boredom that’s like a withdrawal, a boredom that makes your hands shake and your pulse quicken with desperate need for the drug to stave off the withdrawal symptoms, but god, you don’t even know what the drug IS, you just know you NEED it, some form of stimulation, ANY stimulation, you’re going mad in this empty desert with your hands trembling and the withdrawal clouding your mind—

Have I mentioned that I have ADHD? Did you know that untreated ADHD can result in depression specifically due to chronic mental understimulation? I keep telling myself “bruh, don’t headcanon Alastor as having ADHD, you don’t even headcanon that he has any other traits that line up with ADHD symptoms,” but like. That one line. “Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” I felt that in my very bones. There is desperation in that man. There is desperation in him that speaks to me like nothing else does. Like to the point that if it turns out that Alastor secretly DOES have a secret evil manipulative scheme going on I’m going to be annoyed/disappointed specifically because his driving motive isn’t boredom, lmao.

Anyway I feel for characters like that. I like to explore that desperate despairing boredom. I like to force them through that understimulation withdrawal, drive them to do stupid wild desperate things to try to get the stimulation they need. And then, when I’m feeling nice, I like to help them find a cure. Usually I imagine the cure is “dude, you’re such a loner that you’ve cut yourself off from the rest of the human race, you have NO human connections, even when you’re technically interacting with other people you’re still completely emotionally isolated inside your own shell. Make some goddamn friends and start to care about other people and their lives and you’ll find that the act of having other people exist in your world who matter to you will give you that stimulation you’re desperately missing.” Because these desperately bored characters are also desperately emotionally isolated. And they might be happy/content in their isolation—but they’re not doing anything to cure their own understimulation like that.

(“Hey OP is that how you cured your understimulation?” nah I got ADHD meds.)

- Remember everything that I just said about how much I love that Alastor is aro? Well forget everything I just said. Chuck it out the window. Bye.

So every once in a while I find a character that, for whatever reason, I really, really, really want to see pining. I want them to be in love, and I want it to be unrequited, and I want it to go on for years. I want them sobbing in private and then hiding it completely when they face anyone else. I want them to hurt so bad they feel like they can’t breathe. I want them unable to think about anything but their beloved. I want it festering inside them like an infected wound. I want it to hurt. Forever.

(“Hey OP do you uh, do you ever, yknow, want them to get their loved one?” yeah sure whatever)

For some reason, Alastor is one of those characters. Why? I dunno. I haven’t figured out my mental pattern on these ones yet. Maybe it’s specifically because it’s so incongruous with his outward appearance/and attitude. Maybe it’s because he’d do a really really good job at hiding it, but also I think he’s probably kind of a mess inside under his mask, and I think adding unrequited desire under that mask would mess him up anymore in really spectacular ways. Like a china cabinet that shifted in an earthquake so that if you open all the doors all the plates will fall out and break, except they’re already all broken inside of the china cabinet, but he’s in denial about that as long as he doesn’t open the door. I dunno, I’m speculating.

- On that note: I feel like he’s probably, like, hypercompetent and super powerful and super successful on the outside, but actually he’s a sort of screwed up dork who’s got no idea what he’s doing. (I present the furby organ as supporting evidence.) I like extremely powerful deeply feared dorks, ESPECIALLY when they have no idea what they’re doing.

- Also, affable villains. Totally friendly/sociable and totally evil.

- I dig his weird radio schtick. Like, Radio Stuff isn’t a thing I specifically like about characters, but on him I think it’s cool. Character gimmicks that can go a lot of ways and that you can do a lot of stuff with in character development are fun.

I think that covers all the important bases.

[keira-kaz2y5]

I want more stories with queer people in them instead of stories about being queer. I want nuanced and compelling stories led by LGBTQ+ people where their identity isn’t the obstacle but a part of who they are.”

THIS.

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ! !

(I can never get it this simple and focused sentences like this bc of my adhd, so I always just have to messily explain my head. )

We need more film where we have queer people in the same storylines as straight couples, where their identity isn’t the issue. I’ve been saying for years I want to see Rom Coms with pretty lesbian women with a beautiful intricate love story, that doesn’t make their queerness the issue. That doesn’t end in death. That isn’t ruled by homophobia. especially as a young bi woman, who’s still a teenager, I really need to see this. I can name you 3 romance films I’ve seen with wlw main story, and all of which were bittersweet, all of which I had to search out, and I really need this kind of representation in my life. I almost forgot I was bi last year because I lacked so much representation and had some accidental repression, like that’s insane. And 9-1-1 abc show with Evan Buckley literally has changed my life the last year, I always watched shows like that creating my own representation, seeing myself in characters that I believe to be queer but never canon, well until now for Buck and Tommy (and Eddie soon? 🤞) like Dean Winchester (the first one in my life when I discovered I was bi and realised I also saw him that way). Anyway I realise I’m really really rambling now so I’m sorry but yes. Thank you for putting it so PERFECTLY!!! As you can see I could never get it so precise. Thank you OP ilysm

Guys okay I understand that not everyone was satisfied with the finale. And I get it

What we saw is the final outcome of what Marvel was willing to show and what the writers wanted to tell. It definitely felt like some scenes were cut and purposefully restructured because they needed to establish Wiccan in the MCU.

And yes it sucks that Agatha and Rio didn’t get a proper backstory but it is still HUGE progress for a marvel show. Marvel is a an enormous conglomerate that has so much influence worldwide in setting conventions and establishing norms. This isn’t an indie film where the writers and directors have much more control over the story and how to tell it. This is a mega corporation and they put lesbians on screen!

With every new episode I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to brush off the relationship or to just abandon the storyline. But they didn’t! What’s more they did not allow for any dismissal of their relationship. They show us in their interactions, in other characters flat out saying it’s an established relationship and an on screen kiss that they are romantically involved. You can’t deny that they’re together and it’s a big step forward.

So even if I’m not completely satisfied with the ending I will be a forever fan. I want more stories with queer people in them instead of stories about being queer. I want nuanced and compelling stories led by LGBTQ+ people where their identity isn’t the obstacle but a part of who they are.

[wildefire]

You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream.

Summary: You like Ice Cream- but what will you do to get it?

Prompt: “Never. Do that. Again.”

Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Tickling(does this count?)

Word Count: 1252 (why do I do this)

A/N: This was written for @bolontiku​‘s writing challenge! (I’m super sorry that I was late, I forgot to post it.) This was so much fun to write, I hope you enjoy it!

You knew what you were doing was wrong. You Just couldn’t help yourself. You sat on the counter, eating ice cream. Specifically, Steven Rogers ice cream. You were paranoid, jumping at every sound that was strewn throughout the compound- Steve could be here, any moment. You tried to stop yourself, you really did- but, it was too good. You finished the pint, and threw it away- and came face-to-face with Tony. 

“Christ on toast! You scared the shit out of me!” You place a hand over your pounding heart, and try to calm down

.“I sincerely hope I didn’t, that’d be messy,” he said with a signature grin. You scoff, and roll your eyes.

“Nice, Tony.”

“Sweetheart, what are you doing in the kitchen? Late night snack?” He looks at the spoon, still in your hand, and puts two and two together. You were eating ice cream. ‘Really, y/n?”

“Don’t judge me, shorty.” He gasps in feigned indignation. “How dare you, shrimpy! I never expected something like that from you!” The thing about calling Tony short? You were shorter than him, and knew it. And the only thing you could do was wear heels. Heels. Ew.

.“Hey, tones, I need a favor. I’ll repay you back in literally any way possible.”

“I need my lab organized, so I’ll do this favor. What is it?”

“I need you to go and get another pint of Steve’s favorite ice cream.”

“That’s it? Can’t you do that by yourself?”

“Well, uh, see, I can’t exactly go to the place where they’re sold.”

“Y/n, did you offend the owner?”

“Well, heh, uh, I, kind of broke the owners sons heart back on an op…” you had been running with the CIA before you got transferred to S.H.E.I.L.D, and then, you know, everything went to shit.

“Oh ho, the juicy bits. Alright, I’ll go to this store, if, you organize my lab.”

“That’s fine.  If, you go, like now.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because if you don’t go, I’ll be in trouble.”

“With who- oh no, y/n. Not again!”You smiled sheepishly, and shrugged.

“I have ADHD, and that means shitty impulse control.” The excuse was bullcrap, and the both of you knew it.

“That is possibly the worst excuse that I’ve ever heard. I thought you were a CIA agent? Aren’t you supposed to be good at that type of thing?”

“Be good at what,” came another voice. Steve’s voice. You were so dead. Tony just grinned maniacally, and you tried to not look guilty.

“Y/n, what did you do? You’re giving me the ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ eyes, and you only do those when you’ve done something wrong.”

“I, uh, ehm…”

you weighed the jumble of the things you could do in your head. On one hand, if you told him the truth, you’d probably get less of a punishment. But, if you ran, and evaded him, it’d be fun… and fun is what you live for...so you looked up at him, and say, “gotta catch me to find out,” and you darted past him, running full speed towards the hallway. You were sprinting, and took turns at a whim. As you came to the end of a hallway, there were no more doors, and no escape. Fuckfuckfuckfuck, you were in deep shit. Like, thirteen feet under deep shit. Still facing the end, you hoped if you stood still enough, he wouldn’t see you. Yes, invisibility. That is my new power. Like that girl from the movie? With the family? What was it called? your thoughts drifted off, and, with that, you didn’t notice Steve watching you. He’d been hard on your heels, and had been behind you when you’d skidded to a stop, and started to stand stock still. Suddenly, it hit him. You were trying to be invisible. He decides to stalk on you, like a wolf hunting prey. You were still oblivious to him approaching, and he smiled. He got closer, less that half a foot away, and you were still deep in your thoughts, whatever they were. He starts to gear up for an attack, and strikes, like a viper. He grabs your waist, and hoisted you over his shoulder, like a potato sack. What the shit? What's happening- oh, fuck. Invisibility didn’t work. You sigh, and prop yourself up with your elbows.

“You caught me, huh?”

“I sure did. Seems that invisibility didn’t work very well, did it?”

“How’d you know that I was thinking of invisibility?”

“Because you use it to try and get out of training at least once a week. Wanda even told me what you think of during it.”

You sigh, and let yourself hang back down his back, and notice something. He sure has a nice ass. Wonder what he’d do if I smacked it? The thought was tempting. His ass was, to understate it, beautiful. So what do you do? You raise your hand, and pause- what would he do if you did it? Probably make you run. Ugh, running. The thought stays in your mind, and in typical no-impulse-control fashion, you bring it down- hard. Hard enough to make a satisfying crack.

“Never. Do that. Again.”

You don’t know it’s happening until it's too late, and his hands are on your sides, just below your ribs, and above your hips- and, oh no, he knows. But, his hands just rest on your sides, keeping you in place- and you try to not move, try not to tense up as his hands move as he walks. You can just see the shit-eating grin on his face. The light starts to change, and you know you’re being brought back to the common room, or maybe the kitchen. You see couches and the coffee table- and, oh shit, Nat and Bucky. Both filming the entire thing on their phones.You push yourself up to lecture them, and Steve squeezes your side- your body jerks, and drops into its original position. You lift your head up and shout, “You’re filming me without my express permission!”

Then, Steve’s right hand leaves your side, and you try to not let out a sigh of relief. He takes his other hand away, and now you’re just hanging there. You start to think, his fucking shoulders are the size of my goddamn torso, what the fuck?

“I didn’t realize that you liked my shoulders that much, y/n.”

“I said that out loud?”

“Very much so. Now, what did you steal? What did you do?”

“I, uh, ate your ice cream.”

“Again? Seriously y/n?”

“What? Yours was the only kind left…”

“Not an apology.” You snort, and roll your eyes. An apology? Is that what he wants?

“I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Thank you y/n. In return, you’re going to have to do me a favor.”

“What type of favor?”

“Just stay still.”

“Huh?” He grins, and you realize- and turn to run, but he’s already got you in a steel grip. His arms are crossed over your torso, fucking bear-like hands at your sides- and despite the fact that you know you can’t get out of it, you start to wiggle. In turn, he begins to tickle you- and, being ticklish, you squirm even more, and start to giggle. Soon, you’re both laughing up a storm, and his grip has loosened slightly. And that’s when you realize, being in his arms isn’t that bad. So, you decide to stay, and see what happens.

[cranial-bakery]

Crappy Appointment

TL;DR: *has had ADHD symptoms all my life* *takes initiative and tries to talk to the NP I’ve been seeing about these symptoms and their possible causes* *NP treats me with contempt, and belittles both my concerns and my progress thus far before abruptly ending the appointment*

Me: *tries to broach and talk about my lifelong ADHD symptoms and ask about what could be causing them, whether it’s actually ADHD or a crap cocktail of other disorders* Nurse Practitioner: *barely lets me get a word in edgewise* Nurse Practitioner: *monopolizes the appointment with scolding about how I haven’t gotten a job or started going to school yet and claims that no one will give me treatment (for a condition that makes it incredibly difficult to get and keep a job or do well in school) without a job or if I ain’t in school* Nurse Practitioner: *only symptoms she questions me about are (external) hyperactivity when, outside of fidgeting and random pacing, my symptoms are internal and primarily concern sensory issues and problems with attention, concentration, and working memory (the piece of paper I gave her to broach the subject made this very clear)* Nurse Practitioner: *callously dismisses one of my VERY RECENT and INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT personal improvements (being able to finally draw well again and actually FINISH these drawings) with a declaration of my not yet having made any money on my art and writing in all this time, DESPITE THE FACT I HAD JUST FREAKING TOLD HER I HADN’T BEEN ABLE TO CONSISTENTLY FOR YEARS* Nurse Practitioner: *borderline accuses me of laziness by saying we need to “rule laziness out” when she knows darn well I have depression and anxiety and should know, especially by now, that I hate not doing things* Nurse Practitioner: *claims I need to be responsible and need to act like an adult before I can be treated like one... As if taking initiative for one’s health and trying to take control of one’s own life is not an example of that* Nurse Practitioner: *gets up and starts to leave without asking if there’s anything else and callously dismisses my trying to tell her about one my sensory issues AS SHE’S WALKING OUT THE DOOR* Me: *afraid to stand up for myself / be assertive due to years of that going horribly and legit concern of being mislabeled as a drug seeker*

FYI, I’m pretty sure the whole “won’t treat ADHD”/”refusing to treat ADHD” without having a job or being in school thing is uncommon if not outright BS because I’ve been googling that since the appointment and have so far found only two people saying they were told that... On the same six-year-old page of the same website with everyone else (who all have adhd fyi) on that thread saying they’d never heard of that before, calling it unethical, and recommending OP change doctors. ¬_¬

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot to say anything about the most WTF thing that happened in this appointment.

The NP “cut (me) a deal” that she’d get me treated for ADHD (which she didn’t even seem to believe I have) if I went to counselor twice before my next appointment.

Like, wtf, man.

So... Yeah, I rescheduled my appointment so I’d see the Dr instead of the NP.

[hideyoshineki]

haikyuu!!

Thanks Alyssa!

Send me an anime: 

Haikyuu!!: 

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

Fav characters: Noya, Oikawa and Bokuto!!!

Least fav characters: Uhhhhh idk I don’t really outright dislike anyone. I got pretty pissed by the Nohebi team, but I actually like Daishou so idk. 

Fav relationship: Oikawa and Iwaizumi!!

Fav moment: TSUKISHIMA’S BLOCK AGAINST USHIJIMA IN THE SHIRATORIZAWA MATCH! The one where everything stops and Bokuto’s “once you find that one moment it will get you hooked on volleyball” line is brought back and Tsukishima yells and everyone is yelling and cheering and AAAAHHH it’s such a fucking good moment I love it so fucking much and it honest to god gives me chills!!! 

Headcanons/theories: - I’ve seen an ADHD headcanon for Bokuto around before and I like it. Thoughts about the future of Haikyuu!! that I was originally writing up for the unpopular opinion section but falls in between opinion and theory territory and I don’t know if it’s a popular or unpopular thought: 

- (Slight manga spoilers) I don’t know what the opinions are surrounding the future of Karasuno and the plot/manga so I don’t know if this is unpopular, but I don’t necessarily want Karasuno to win against Nekoma. My reason for this is that, since Seijou and Shiratorizawa have been beaten, the rival team we care the most about and have the most narrative impact now is Nekoma. Once Karasuno beats Nekoma… I don’t really see what to do after that. Fukurodani exist, and so do other teams with star players that we’ve been introduced to, but I think a lot of those are a step down impact-wise once Nekoma is beaten, especially since so much of Haikyuu has been building up to the Battle of the Trash Heap. Therefore, I think Karasuno should lose to Nekoma. (Unless Furudate chooses to end the manga immediately after a win, but I wouldn’t want him to since there characters and character arcs and future match-ups that have been introduced and hinted at which would just be gone if the whole manga ends anytime soon. No, the manga has to keep going for a long while longer. Also I don’t want Haikyuu to end soon so :P) 

(But like on the one hand while my mind is like “lose to Nekoma now and after having time to finish other open ends and have Ennoshita as captain and they get all the way back up to Nekoma and finally beat them as a “Final Boss” of the manga, on the other hand will it even really have the same impact without Daichi, Suga, Asahi and Kuroo?)

But I mean Furudate is a damn good mangaka (like, I say “other teams are a step down impact/hype-wise from Nekoma” but Furudate is probably more than capable of hyping up post-Nekoma teams) so whatever he does end up doing is gonna be great and I’m gonna be happy. 

Unpopular opinion: 

- I’m a Believer and Hikari Are are both easily better OPs than Fly High (while I like it it’s never been close to my favourite but it seems to be the favourite for a large amount of people) 

- Tenchi Gaeshi is the best ED by far. (Mashi Mashi seems to be the favourite which is ??? for me because again, it’s never been close to my favourite)

How’d you find it: I saw it around tumblr when the first season was airing because I was following a lot of Free! blogs and many people who were into Free! also were into Haikyuu so that’s where I saw it. I started watching in like the last week of the first season airing after I saw a comic of Kageyama and Hinata and I became interested in their dynamic. 

Random thoughts: Haikyuu is the anime I consider the best ouut of my favourites. The characters are all so unique and layered and you’re made to care about them all. The anime is visually amazing during games, the soundtrack is so good, and it’s adapted so wonderfully from the manga!!! 

Also I’ve been looking over a lot of discussions, OST tracks, and anime clips (one of which was like a compilation of the best moments holy fuck I forgot how good so many of them are oh my god I’m emotional) while I’ve been answering these questions and holy fuck the amount of times this anime gives me chills or makes me so happy and hyped oh my god it’s so good!!!!!!!

[akasugaro]

that one through fifty thing bc i write books and this seems like a cool thing to do

Delilah Fae/Violette Monroe -  my self insert bc im a narcissist 

1. A little-known talent of your OC?

She can sing pretty well.

2. What trait does your OC like best about themself? (Eyes, guitar skills, random bird facts, etc)

Her 87% survival rate.  There were a few times where she died, but she always came back.

3. How many pillows does your OC sleep with?

Two.  Always two.  Unless they’re especially flat, then it’s three.

4. Is your OC good at keeping secrets?

Well, no one knows she’s basically a God.

5. Your OC’s worst habit?

She flirts with everyone.  Literally everyone.  It gets her into trouble more often than she’d like to admit.

6. Does your OC prefer tennis shoes/sneakers or flip flops?

Flip flops.  She feels trapped in sneakers.  She likes to be able to take them off and put them back on without any special effort.

7. What is your OC’s opinion on body modifications?

She loves them.  She’s gotten many, taken them out, gotten them again, so on.  She’s just very indecisive.

8. Your OC is given a full-ride scholarship to any college they could want to go to. Where do they go and what do they major in?

Anywhere she can get an arts degree.

9. What chore does your OC hate the most?

Dishes.  She tends to gag any time she has to load the dishwasher.  Emptying it isn’t as bad though.

10. Would your OC prefer to live in the city, the suburbs, or the country?

She literally couldn’t care less where she lives as long as there’s cute girls or guys.

11. Is your OC a blanket hog?

Yes.  She will take the blankets from every section of the house and wrap herself up in them.  She tends to get really cold at night.

12. Would your OC play by the rules in a fight or take cheap shots?

She doesn’t believe in rules for fighting.

13. Does your OC have a widow ’s peak?

Yes.  It’s usually hidden though.

14. Happy birthday! What kind of present would your OC want?

Video games, a cat, any form of positive attention, stuffed animals.

15. Something that grosses your OC out?

She thinks most bodily functions are absolutely disgusting and is grateful that she doesn’t need to do any of those things.

16. Your OC is suddenly on an adventure! Where do they go and what do they do?

Depends on what dimension she’s in.  Usually she just tags along with the people who belong in the dimension.

17. Is there a real person that looks like your OC?

Me.  She’s basically an OP self insert because I was lonely and had no friends and decided to write myself some.

18. Something that makes your OC laugh without fail?

Vines.  She loves vines.  Also memes.  And stupid jokes.  She’s very easy to make laugh, actually.

19. Something that makes your OC cry without fail?

Movies.  She always cries at movies.  The ending to a series, any series, also gets her a lot.  Same with characters dying.

20. A obscure/ridiculous fear your OC has?

She’s scared of moths and lady bugs.  Spiders?  She thinks they’re cool.  Snakes?  She has one as a pet.  A ladybug lands on her shoulder?  She will start crying and screaming and somebody will have to get rid of it for her.

21. Does your OC have any type of disability, whether it be mental, physical, etc?

She has severe depression and anxiety, as well as ADHD and Dyslexia.

22. Does your OC get frustrated when people forget to close the door behind themselves?

Sometimes.  Depends on her mood. 

23. What is your OC’s first memory?

Her mother telling her she loved her before sacrificing herself.

24. Something you like that your OC would hate?

We like the same things lol

25. Your OC is going into battle/on a mission! What song is their anthem?

Victims or Do your Worst, both by New Years Day.

26. Does your OC have good or bad posture?

She has pretty good posture.  But it also really depends on her mood.

27. Most despicable thing your OC has ever done?

She kills people and fucks with people’s lives if she doesn’t like how the story ends.

28. Is your OC a conspiracy theorist?

Not really.  

29. Someone does something awful in front of your OC. How do they handle it?

Depends on what it is.  Someone steals something?  Eh, not her problem.  Some murders a person?  She’ll do her best to stop them.  Someone rapes a person?  They will be going down to the deepest depths of hell.

30. What is your OC’s favorite drink?

Apple cider.  Sparkling, warm, cold.  Doesn’t matter.  She’s a slut for apple cider.

31. Does your OC prefer to sleep in a warm or cool area?

She doesn’t care as long as she has a blanket (or a hundred).

32. Would your OC like you if they met you?

I don’t know.  I hope she would, as she’s just inter-dimensional me.

33. A song that reminds you of your OC?

Hey There Delilah by the Plain Whit Ts, Primadonna by Marina, Teen Idle also by Marina, Human by Christina Perri, Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko, I’m No Good by New Years Day.

34. Is your OC a nail biter?

Definitely.  It’s a nasty habit she can’t seem to kick.

35. What is your OC’s favorite quote?

“You’re just jealous ‘cause my tits are better than yours.”  “I’m sorry; I’m a terrible person.”  “I am LITERALLY going to KILL MYSELF if _______ HAPPENS/DOESN’T HAPPEN.”  “Badass!”

36. Your OC’s favorite fashion era? (20’s, 70’s, etc)

She’s interested in the Victorian and 1920 eras, but she wouldn’t be able to live without her leggings.

37. Does your OC get excited when they get mail?

Yes.  She always hopes for a confession of love, but then is disappointed by only getting the thing she forgot she ordered.

38. Random thunderstorm! How does your OC react?

She will literally drag her S/O out into the rain so they can have that romantic RomCom moment.

39. A strange talent of your OC?

She always comes back.

40. Assuming your OC doesn’t have them already, what superpower would they want? If they do already, would they change it, keep it, or get rid of it?

Depending on what dimension she’s in, she has certain abilities, most commoly: telekineses, the inability to feel pain, the ability to fly, and not needing to eat sleep etc.  She’s able to remember the lives of all the parallel universe Delilahs.

41. Does your OC like/make puns?

Yes.  Most of her humour is shitty puns.  All of her friends hate her.

42. What kind of shampoo does your OC use?

She usually uses Suave professionals in anything rose scented.

43. Your OC wakes up with a coin super glued to their forehead. How do they react?

She probably wouldn’t care at all.  She’s beyond the point of caring.

44. Can your OC sleep if there’s any kind of light?

No.  She uses a sleep mask because even the smallest amount of light that comes through the curtains at night annoys her.

45. What kind of self-esteem does your OC have?

It depends.  She either has really high self esteem, or she’ll feel like she’s an awful, horrible person who doesn’t deserve anything.

46. A word that your OC can’t stand?

The N-word.  She hates it more than anything.  Words like that disgust her so much.

47. Does your OC fold their clothes, hang them up, or just leave them in the basket/dryer?

She has a basket for clean clothes that she just throws them all in.  Unless they’re Victorian era clothing, then she hangs them up.

48. Would society call your OC a good guy or a bad guy? What would they say they are?

Again, depends on the dimension, but soceity usually says she’s a good guy.  She, however, thinks she’s the worst of the worst, undeserving of love and affection and anything nice.

49. Your OC’s most prized possession?

A necklace with a bear paw opal pendant.  She’s had it since before she became an all-knowing, inter-dimensional God.

50. What is your OC’s happy place?

Anywhere that has all of her friends.