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qqueenofhades · 3 years ago

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The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

#the green knight #the green knight meta #sir gawain and the green knight #medieval literature #medieval history #this meta is goddamn 5.2k words #and has its own reading list #i uh #said i had a lot of thoughts?

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url-is-under-construction · 4 years ago

Text

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 ~ 𝐇.𝐋 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Based off the prompt: “𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭. 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬.”

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7K

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Swearing

𝐒𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: Family always came first to you. That’s why you moved to Tokyo with your baby brother despite being miserable every single day, until you met him.

If NYC was the city that never slept then Tokyo was it’s younger sibling who was constantly trying to outdo the elder child. You ignored your younger brother who sat beside you in the taxi, leaning your head against the window and admiring the bright neon lights that stood out against the black of the sky.

No stars were visible, and the noise of the city was audible from inside the taxi, grinding against your ears. You hated it.

“Y/n.” You yanked my head from the cool glass of the window, leaving it foggy in your absence as Sean gently called your name. “We’re here.”

It was then you noticed the taxi had come to a stop, in front of a small looking building.

“This is it?” You asked, only getting a nod and sigh in response as the two of you exited the small vehicle, him sighing loudly as he picked up the bags.

You approached the door and knocked, waiting impatiently as the city air bit and nipped at your rosy red cheeks and nose.

It opened, revealing the man you recognized to be your father. You took a step back, turning the volume of the music in your ears up and letting Sean do the talking. You observed as their mouths moved, and the door closed on the two of you, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion before relaxing as it opened again.

This time he was fully clothed and a woman quickly scurried out from behind him, not giving any of you a second glance.

You pulled the earbud out, looking between your brother and father.

“Who was that?” You asked, following the two of them into the cramped building.

“A friend.” Your father responded sharply, before going over the ground rules and showing you to your rather small rooms.

The sleep was terrible that night. Unable to get comfortable on the thin mattress, and longing to be back at home in America. After all, you weren’t the child who had screwed up.

【~~~】

It took about three days for the reality of the situation you were in to settle in.

You were living in Tokyo. And you wouldn’t be returning home any time soon.

It was quite a rude shock when it finally hit you, and that’s when the tears every night started to pay visits.

You sure as hell weren’t the one who had fucked up, destroying not one but two cars, illegally racing and crashing through the frame of a house waiting to be built. No, that was Sean. But as usual you also had to pay for his mistakes and so off to Tokyo you went with him, leaving behind your friends, your family and your car.

It wasn’t like your mother was expecting you to live here forever with Sean. After all you were almost nineteen and very much so capable of making your own decisions.

She had wanted you to go with him for the first month though, not wanting him to be completely alone with no one but your father there for him, and by painting it out to be some exotic holiday she had convinced you to tag along.

It was a mistake.

Sean had started coming home later and later every night, adjusting well to life in the city. You on the other hand, had absolutely no friends, and despised your days with every fiber of your being. You had begun marking days off your calendar, counting down eagerly for the month to be over and for you to return home.

“I hate it here.” You shoveled food into your mouth, standing with your back against the counter of the kitchen as Sean absentmindedly filled a glass of water. “Why did I choose to come with you?”

“How would I know?.” He mumbled under his breath, pulling his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed.

“You know if you hadn’t been so-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” He cut you off, rolling his eyes. “I get enough if that from Mom and Dad. Don’t need it from you too.”

His accent was far stronger than yours, and you mocked him, feeling defeated when he just rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone.

He read whatever was on the screen with a small smile on his face and nosily you leaned over, wanting to get a look.

“Fuck off.” He shoved your shoulder, still smiling.

“What’s got you looking all happy?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

He looked at you, a mischievous smile on his lips as you waited.

“How do you feel about going out tonight?”

【~~~】

Bodies crammed together in the parking garage, all surrounding the hundreds of cars parked in the lot. The immaculate paint jobs shined in the harsh neon lights, and most of them had their hoods up and their incredible engines on display, leaving your jaw on the ground every time.

You stuck close to Sean and Twinkie, feeling safer with your younger brother and his best friend. You felt intimidated by the gorgeous women who surrounded you, not that you were there to impress anyone. You were there for the cars.

The shitty 1990 Accord you had back in the states was nothing compared to the beasts that were parked in here.

You could feel vibrations in the ground, from the music and cars and it brought a small smile to your face as you walked through the swarm of people.

Sean’s eyes were scanning the crowd intently, clearly searching for someone.

He finally located who he was after and pulled you and Twinkie in the direction, his smile growing.

“There are some people I want you to meet.”

You were introduced to some faces you knew you wouldn’t remember, a gorgeous girl named Neela being one of the few you did.

You didn’t miss the way they looked at each other, or the way her boyfriend would possessively interrupt when you were talking to her, much to her dismay.

“And finally,” Sean said as you approached a man leaning back against his car, a small smirk on his face. “The one and only, Han.”

You flicked your eyes up to meet his, ignoring the way your breath slightly hitched in your throat.

He stuck his hand out to grasp yours, and you gripped it back with the same smirk he was wearing.

“Y/n.” You introduced yourself, not missing the way his eyes slowly traveled up and down your body. “I’m sorry about what my brother did to your car.”

His eyes returned to you, a smile on his face.

“It’s fine. Plenty of others sitting in that garage.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, his smile turning into a shy grin.

“Better keep Sean away from them then.” You teased, turning to your brother only to realize he had left.

You noticed him standing by Neela again, walking around her car while her boyfriend, Takashi, watched intently from afar.

“He’s in love. Has been since he saw her.” Han rolled his eyes, popping a chip into his mouth.

“Hard to see why he wouldn’t be.” You said. “She’s beautiful. Kind. Into cars.”

“And what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you kind? Into cars?” He asked, following your eyes to Sean and Neela.

“You forgot beautiful.” You said with a small laugh as you moved to stand next to him, leaning against the Mazda RX-7 behind you. You were praying to god it was his car, otherwise the lucky owner would probably get very, very pissed.

“Nah.” He turned his head and looked down at you. “Don’t need to ask you that to figure it out.”

A blush crept into your cheeks and you couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on your face.

“Well, usually when someone is kind they don’t run around telling others about it.” Your eyes met his again. “And I love cars.”

He grinned at you, and you turned your head to look back at Sean.

A part of you wanted to play hard to get, but the other part knew that even after only five seconds of talking to this man you were fucking done for and he knew that as well.

“And what about you?” You copied his earlier words, elaborating when you saw his confused face. “Are you kind? Into cars? Beautiful?”

“Beautiful?” He scoffed. “Sweetheart I’m a damn model.”

You let out a laugh, feeling yourself relax.

“I was kind enough to not beat your brother to death after he totaled my car.” Han joked. “And as for cars-” He gestured to the garage, full of stunning, high performance cars capable of stealing your heart in a matter of seconds. “-I probably wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like them.”

“Yeah I suppose that was obvious.” You let out a content sigh. This was the first time you had forgotten about your little countdown, and also the longest conversation you had had with someone who you weren’t related to.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, admiring the cars that surrounded you for a few minutes before he turned back to you again.

“What are you doing here Y/n?”

Your head turned to his, your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, you think Sean doesn’t gush about his amazing older sister every chance he gets?” Han rolled his eyes at you like you were stupid.

“No. I find that very hard to believe.” You let out a small laugh. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”

“Sean told me that you were eighteen, turning nineteen in a few months time. No one is forcing you to be here, in Japan.” Han explained, his dark eyes staring into yours. “And yet here you are. Living in Tokyo, miserable, because your delinquent brother couldn’t stay out of trouble in the states. Why?”

Your mouth opened, then closed, then fell open again. You turned your head away from the piercing dark eyes and glanced at your brother.

“Because that guy who destroyed your car is my baby brother. He’s the closest family I’ve got.” You watched Sean as he spoke to Neela, hearts in his eyes. “Family stick together Han. I couldn’t let him just up and leave to a brand new country, with no one but our father there for him.”

Han watched the way you spoke, feeling a warmth across his chest.

“It’s my job to protect him and be there for him, and I don’t care if I’m miserable the whole time I’m doing it. I’m going to be there.”

His jaw almost dropped as your words hit him like bricks.

“You know,” He started. “You remind me of someone I used to go way back with.”

You scoffed light-heartedly.

“How old are you?”

He just grinned. “Too old for you.”

“Well luckily for you, my age is too young for me.” You said. Despite your tone being confident your body was completely betraying you, bracing itself for rejection.

Instead he just laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

Both of your heads snapped to the right as someone called his name, and you felt your heart fall when you realized that he was probably going to leave.

He sent a quick wave to the person who called out and pushed himself off the Mazda, gazing down at you.

“You know,” He started, a shy smile creeping onto his face. “If you ever get bored during the day you should come by the garage. I think I could make it worth your time.”

You let out a small laugh.

“We’ll see.”

【~~~】

“You made friends pretty fast.” Sean said teasingly as you entered the kitchen, your hair sticking up in all kinds of directions.

“Yeah and so did you apparently.” You sent a sarcastic smile back in his direction. “Pity she’s taken.”

The smile on his face dropped instantly and he went back to his breakfast, ignoring you.

After a few minutes of silence between the two of you he spoke up again.

“So are you gonna?”

You looked up from your phone and coffee, furrowing your brows.

“Am I gonna what?”

“Swing by Han’s garage?” He had a knowing smirk on his face. “He told me all about your little conversation.”

You just shrugged casually, not wanting to let him know how you really felt inside.

“Maybe, if I have the time.”

“All you have here is time.” He scoffed. “All you’ve done for the past few days is buy food, eat it, then sleep. You may as well.”

You let out a sigh and finished what was left of your drink.

“Yeah, and for your information Sean, it’s been great.”

“You know you wanna Y/n.” He teased, a grin on his face.

“How about this,” You started. “Let me know next time you head over there. Maybe I’ll tag along.”

“Sounds good to me.” Sean said. “Especially given that I’ll be there tonight.”

Your cool demeanor dropped and your eyes widened.

“Tonight?”

“That’s what I said.” He grinned. “I’ll be sure to let him know he can look forward to seeing you there with me.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” You whispered under your breath.

He just shrugged his shoulders.

“You’d be doing me a favor if it meant I’d never have to see your gross face again.”

“What are you? Five?” You asked.

“I’d say that’s about right.”

You just scoffed at him, heading back to your room.

Not that you’d ever admit it to Sean, but you were glad that he’d be heading over to the garage tonight.

You would definitely rather die than tell him that though.

【~~~】

You shut the car door behind you and stepped out into the cool evening air.

Sean had come by to pick you up after he had finished school, and you had been anxiously waiting all day.

Now you were finally here, and still very, very anxious.

“This doesn’t look like a garage to me.” You furrowed your brows, looking out at the water.

“That’s because it’s in there.” Sean pointed to the large brick building. “We’re gonna stay out the front, this is where Han’s been teaching me how to drift.”

“Oh.” You managed to get out, following your baby brother to a group of people who were all sitting down by stacks of tires.

All four faces were familiar, but you only remembered the names of two of them.

“Y/n.” Han greeted you, nodding his head with a smile as he casually held the bottle in his hand.

“Hi.” You smiled back at him, your nerves starting to melt away.

Sean gestured to the empty seat beside Han, and you took it.

The others tossed you friendly smiles which you returned, and Han looked up at Sean.

“Go get your sister a drink.” He said.

Sean did as he was asked, reaching into the cooler that had been brought along and handing you a bottle of something.

“Are you gonna have one?” You asked your brother as you opened it and took a small sip.

“Can’t drink and drive now, can I?” He smirked, digging his keys out of his pocket and heading back towards the Evo.

“Well that’s a first.” You scoffed, and you heard Han let out a small laugh beside you.

“I’m guessing the cowboy doesn’t wanna fuck up another one of Han’s cars.” Twinkie said, watching Sean as his climbed into the car and started it.

You looked over at Han.

“That’s your car?”

“Yep.” He nodded proudly, watching Sean as he started his usual route around the dock.

“How many more have you got hiding in that garage of yours?” You asked with a small laugh.

“You’ll have to come see for yourself.” He shrugged.

“Maybe.” You shrugged as well, missing the way Twinkie and the others looked back and forth at each other.

“You know,” Han started. “If you haven’t got any other plans tonight, I could take you out for a drive, grab some food. Maybe come back to the garage when everyone’s gone.” He said the last part quietly enough for only you to hear.

You looked over to Sean in the car, able to make out his face of concentration despite how far away you were from him. He wouldn’t miss you for one night.

“When do we leave?” You asked with a smile.

He grinned with a surprised laugh, and you could tell he had been expecting you to say no.

“Now, if that works for you.”

You looked back at Sean, wincing at the sound of the tires screaming against the road.

“Sounds good.”

【~~~】

The two of you had ended up getting cheap food from a side-of-the-road vendor, eating in silence in the car before making small talk about everything, from your life back in America to what kind of animals you thought you could take on in a fight.

You were laughing when you stumbled out of the RX-7 and into the cool night air, following Han into the garage which wasn’t that much warmer.

You didn’t know what you had expected when you walked into the garage, but it definitely wasn’t what you saw.

Han gestured for you to follow him up some stairs to an open second story, furnished with a small kitchen, table and chair, and living area.

“Wow.” You mumbled under your breath, realizing he must have some serious money to be able to afford all of this. Not to mention the cars in there, some of which cost more than your house, car and life savings combined.

“It’s my pride and joy.” He pointed towards the sofa, and you took a seat, sinking in to the plush material as he opened the fridge and called out to you. “You want a drink?”

“Yeah thanks.” You smiled, and he pulled out two of the same bottles you had been drinking from earlier.

He took a seat beside you, on the opposite edge of the relatively small sofa, and the two of you sat in silence for a moment, reflecting on your night, before you spoke up.

“Thank you.” You said quietly, and he looked at you in confusion. “For what you’re doing for Sean, I mean.”

“It’s not a problem.” He brushed it off. “He’s a good kid, the kinda person I want to be around.”

You let out a scoff.

“Well I wouldn’t go that far.”

He chuckled at you.

“Thank you.” He said, and this time it was your turn to be confused. “You might not realize it. but coming out here with Sean has made it so much easier for him. He probably won’t ever tell you, but he’s grateful as hell and crazy lucky to have you in his life.”

A small blush crept up onto your cheeks, and you almost didn’t notice as he crept closer towards you. Almost.

“Yeah well he’s also crazy lucky to have met you.” You said quietly, your eyes meeting his as the two of you drew closer and closer. “I am too.” You whispered.

“And why’s that?” He asked, his tone matching yours, and you swore the room got hotter by about twenty degrees.

“You’re kind,” You started, remembering back to last night when you met him. “Into cars.” You continued, and he nodded along, agreeing with you.

“You forgot beautiful.” He whispered, just inches from your face now, and you smiled cheekily.

“You’re a damn model sweetheart.”

He grinned, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly and before you could realize what was happening his lips were on yours.

Your hands instinctively went to his hair, pulling him closer to you as you laid down flat on your back, feeling his hands roam up and down your body.

You felt butterflies erupt in your chest as your hands wandered from the back of his head, and so did your mind.

Sean’s face flashed in your mind and you inhaled sharply, pushing Han off of you and sitting up, breathing heavily.

“Shit.” You hissed, moving to the edge of the sofa and holding your head in your hands. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Han asked, also breathing heavily. His tone sounded confused, and guilt racked through your body. “I’m sorry.” His voice changed to apologetic. “I thought you wanted to.”

“I do.” You whined. “I want to, but I can’t. We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” He asked, placing a hand on your thigh.

“Sean.” You turned to look him in the eyes, and his face dropped.

“Shit.” He said.

“Shit.” You agreed.

The two of you sat in silence, still trying to catch your breaths, and trying to think of a way to fix the now incredibly awkward situation.

“I think I should leave.” You said, pushing yourself up off the sofa.

“Y/n don’t go.” Han protested. “It’s the middle of the night and you’ve been drinking. Neither of us can drive and I’m not going to let you walk home or get into a taxi with some creep.”

You let out a sigh, not letting him see how the fact that he cared that much made you all warm and fuzzy inside, or how the fact that it made you all warm and fuzzy inside made you want to gag.

“What do I do then?” You asked.

“Take my bed.” He nodded towards a door that you were assuming led to his bedroom. “I’ll take the sofa.”

“No way.” You protested. “This is your home Han, you aren’t sleeping on that tiny ass sofa. I can, it’s no problem.”

His eyes looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Ok. I’ll go grab you some blankets.”

“Thanks.” You smiled, laying down on the sofa.

It was undeniably comfortable, and you let your eyes close before Han returned, vaguely feeling him place a thick blanket over the top of you before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead, leaving you with butterflies.

Your mind started to slip out of consciousness, and you let it, forgetting about how you were sleeping in Han’s garage, and planning on being out of there before he woke up the next morning.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Just a fun little something that took me about a week to finish writing! Hope you like it and requests are most certainly open <3

If anyone would like to be on the tag list for part 2, please let me know!

#han lue #han seoul oh #han seoul-oh #x reader #han lue imagine #han lue x reader #han seoul oh imagine #han seoul oh x reader #han seoul-oh imagine #han seoul-oh x reader #fast and furious imagine #fast and furious x reader #the fast and the furious imagine

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pryings · 1 year ago

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knoll nods, his attention on the grave he is resting against. the sharp-lined epitaph suggests it's a relatively fresh one. he does not yet know the embalming practices of fódlan, how preserved their dead might be.

researcher's notes: the practice of embalming was invented to make the body viewable. it is, as are all things, for the benefit of the living, not the corpse. whether it be for funeral, or for an anatomy lesson, the practice of embalming makes sure the corpse does not alarm its viewer before it is placed in the ground. the fact that the state of preservation lasts past whatever viewing occurs is also for the benefit of the living. oh, how they hate to think of their loved ones rotting.

he will know them soon enough, though, he supposes. the only way to learn something is with hands-on research, after all.

he's glad that he has such an able-bodied man here. his own constitution is not the most remarkable. knoll gets to his feet. the coast seems to be clear enough.

"you're quite right. almost everyone who passes away has someone to mourn them." he knows too little about funerary practices here. do they sit watch from death until burial? do they create death masks? does it matter?

he's seen resurrection up close. hearts made to beat, bodies moving as they had in life. he does not believe in souls, in that spark that allegedly differentiates the living from the dead permanently. as though some god had kindled life itself, and set it along some course.

"this is true. there are many who would do anything to see their loved ones again." he had been part of such an undertaking himself, once, after all.

"i'm glad you seem to understand that motivation." he takes up a shovel. his constitution is poor, but there is a strong knight here with him. if he can talk him into doing the heavier work, that would be appreciated.

he's very at-ease now. how nice it is, to have someone who understands. there are ways to get a corpse to walk about, to speak as though alive, to breathe, but something is ever missing. "grab a shovel? i think this grave looks to be the freshest. i can break ground on it, but it will be quicker with two of us."

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧

#⁺ . ✕ ◞ in character ⋅#lionheartsoath #⁺ . ✕ ◞ thread: what night does whisper ⋅

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djarinvibe · 3 years ago

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After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader) Pt. 1

A/N: okay... so it’s been a year since ive posted a fic oops. Didn’t mean for that to happen. Anyways, enjoy :) Gif Credit: @manny-jacinto

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: swears, parental death mentions, sexual harassment, age-gap (reader is mid-late twenties)

Summary: After working at a club named The Cantina for almost a year, you finally meet it’s owner. But the owner seems to have already taken a liking to you.

Italics = flashback // masterlist

“This is a special order,” The head bartender, Omera, spoke over the music with a firm look on her attractive features, “It goes directly upstairs to the main office. Drop off the tray, don't look anyone in the eyes, and exit.”

The pounding music matched the racing beat of your heart as you nodded and warily grabbed the tray containing bottles of liquor. Delivering upstairs was a big deal amongst the waitresses, because it meant you got to see the club’s owner; even if only for a brief second.

Nobody knows his real name, but everyone calls him The Mandalorian. Gossip around the wait-staff has told you that it has something to do with his past. Coworkers have also told you that the man deals in shady business, specifically crime related, and if you overhear anything you’re strictly prohibited from repeating it.

“Go, he’s expecting them.” Omera caught your attention once again, shoving your shoulders gently. You swallowed and pushed away from the bar, navigating through the herds of people to get to the staircase.

The club is fairly big, large enough for tables and booths to line the outskirts of the dance floor. There was also a stage towards the back where live bands and musicians played every weekend. Upstairs only contained a balcony littered with tables and various seating, providing a good view of the stage below. It’s also where The Mandalorian’s office sat.

To your understanding, this building had been a bar with live entertainment before it closed down. The previous owners went bankrupt and got imprisoned due to money laundering, fraud, drugs, and the illegal possession of firearms. The Mandalorian purchased it after it had sat closed for seventeen years, and rebranded it into the bustling club it is now.

You've actually lived in the neighborhood of Mandalore your entire life, save for the years you were away at college working on a bachelor's degree in psychology. You remember this building sitting vacant for most of your childhood and teenage years, and it remained that way when you left. You found out later that it was during the six years you were out of state when The Mandalorian showed up.

You had planned on moving out of the neighborhood for good after graduating, but when your parents died while caught in the crossfire between two crime syndicates, you came back.

Everybody in the city knows that Mandalore is a rough neighborhood, but you never thought that your own family would be victims. It should’ve been expected though, It’s a poor community, led by generations of corrupt police and politicians who only cared about shoveling money into their own pockets.

You had tried to fight to avenge your parents’ death and have the parties responsible charged and locked up, but of course the local authorities didn’t even try.

“Look, I’m sorry, but it isn’t worth the taxpayer’s dollar.” The chief of police spoke, carelessly leaning back in his chair while sipping a fresh coffee. You scoffed at the man, stepping further into his office.

“Twenty innocent people were murdered in the middle of the day at Satine Kryze Park, but ‘it isn’t worth the taxpayer’s money’?” Your voice held heavy malice as you questioned him, but you could tell the man didn’t care. He had a nice, cushy office with access to all the coffee and donuts he wanted, plus a large salary with no supervision from the mayor.

“Kid, it’s unfortunate that your parents died. But trying to stop major crime families isn’t worth it. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.” The man sat up, obviously frustrated with you, “Or, like cutting off the head of a Hydra; two will always grow back.”

“You know what, whatever.” You waved your hand dismissively, “Police are useless assholes in this city. Thanks for your time, jackass.” You spat before turning on your heel and exiting his office.

Approaching the top of the stairs, you followed the balcony until reaching a small hallway that led to the main office. You've never had the privilege of serving The Mandalorian before, only working here for just under a year. Omera had told you that only long-term staff got the opportunity. You guessed delivering to him tonight meant that you had reached that status.

Other waitresses that served him before had told you he was attractive, and to be aware of his charm. They had also told you that he apparently constantly wears a silver bandana that covers the bottom half of his face; everything below his eyes. Nobody really knew why, most just assumed it was to conceal his identity due to his business.

Taking a deep breath, you could feel your stomach jump into your throat. Knocking on the solid, black door to warn them of your presence, you finally stepped into the room. Deep voices of a few men could be heard talking, but you kept your gaze averted.

“Moff is planning on disrupting our shipment tomorrow, Mayfeld reported back.” A man spoke, sitting on a couch that sat across from the Mandalorian’s desk. You didn't dare look at them as you shyly pushed past two guarded men that stood with their arms crossed, making your way to the coffee table.

“Double security at the docks for now. I want Mayfeld to give me more specific details; tell him to call.” A low tone filled your ears, making your stomach twist with butterflies. His voice was heavenly to listen to, like warm honey on crunchy toast in the form of sound.

“Will do boss. Also, Boba and Fennec confirmed, and they will be coming back to town tomorrow. They are looking forward to seeing you again.” The first man spoke once again, reaching out to grab a drink from the tray you had just set down.

“I want an escort to pick them up at the airport, bring them directly to the club.” The Mandalorian spoke as he stood up from behind his desk and tread over to the tray you'd placed down. Picking up the bottle of whiskey, he poured it into a small glass he already had in hand.

“I’ll do it.” A different voice chimed in as the man surveyed his lackeys.

“Great. Now get to the docks. I want my shipment protected and secure.” He quickly instructed, taking a sip of the liquor under his mask.

You swallowed heavily, watching the men scramble from their respective spots around the room and make their way to the exit. You were fast to follow behind them, however the Mandalorian’s voice stopped you.

“Wait,” His tone was low, but not threatening. It still sent a chill down your spine and caused heat to flare in your cheeks. You slowly turned around, hearing the door slam behind your back, signalling that the two of you were alone.

“Yes, sir?” You responded, voice unexpectedly quiet.

“I've never seen you here before, who are you?” A lie that only he knew the truth to.

You introduced your name shyly, swallowing the nerves down. His gaze met your own, eyes dark and piercing in the dim, moody lighting. The silver bandana mask that the other waitresses had mentioned donned his face, blocking everything below his eyes. He also wore a gray suit, one that closely matched the same hue as his mask, topped with a black tie tucked neatly under a vest.

“How long have you worked for me?” He then questioned, pacing closer over to the door where you stood. He was broad at the shoulders, and tall; nearly towering your frame.

“Just over ten months.” You answered, his presence overcoming your senses. He smelt like cigar smoke and warm amber mixed with patchouli. Something about it was so intoxicating and addicting, you wanted to fall asleep drunk off of the scent.

“So, you're loyal.” The man let out a hum of approval, his eyes looking up and down your body. You witnessed as he sipped the liquor underneath his mask again, not exposing himself in any way. He must be an expert at that, supposedly never taking the thing off.

“I-I guess,” You stuttered over your words, still consumed by the man's aura but also confused by his phrasing.

“College?” The question left his mouth so quickly, you almost didn't hear what he had said.

“Oh, uh, yes. B-But I didn't graduate.” Your voice escaped your throat timidly, embarrassed by the confession. Your parents’ murder took place only three months before you were set to graduate. However, being consumed by grief and the new responsibilities you inherited after their deaths, you dropped out.

The Mandalorian nodded, treading back to his desk and sliding into the large chair seamlessly. His dark eyes remained on your figure, admiring the way you were dressed. He took pleasure in how timid you seemed, despite knowing deep down there's a fire inside.

The man had to admit, he’s had his eye on you for a while. In his office, there’s a small window he can look out to observe everyone below; something he purposely added when remodeling.

It was a particularly slow night when you caught his attention from above. You were cleaning up a booth after a bridal party had laid waste to it, when some drunk man attempted to get handsy.

Though he couldn’t hear anything, he saw you hold your ground by initially pushing him off. But when he couldn’t take ‘No’ for an answer and grabbed your ass, you fully turned around and punched him in the face.

“Omera, who is that new hire?” He remembers asking, beckoning the at-the-time waitress over to the window and pointing towards your figure. By now, the club’s bouncers had arrived and were picking up the drunk bastard from the ground, his nose bloody and dripping down his face.

“She’s tough. Doesn’t take shit from rude patrons, and she’s only been with us for about two months,” Omera then told him your name, and he recalled it sounded just as sweet as you looked while shaking your hurt hand and flipping the patron off with your other.

“Make sure she sticks around. I like her attitude.” He then spoke, still watching as you began to clean up the mess.

Omera continued to update The Mandalorian about you over the past eight months, until he finally deemed it time to meet you.

“Major?” The man then questioned, gaze staring you down from across the room.

“Psychology, with a minor in social work.” You answered, swallowing thickly.

“So, an educated woman, with- I assume- about six years of college under her belt has chosen to work as a waitress in my club. Why?” The Mandalorian pressed, taking a sip from his drink, once again never exposing his face.

Twisting your fingers out of anxiety, you felt uncomfortable telling the man the reason. Sure, he is your boss and probably someone you can trust, but you only met him for the first time a few moments ago. Plus, you didn’t exactly find joy in telling people that you’re not only a college-dropout, but also an orphan.

You only entrusted Omera with that information because she was the closest thing you had to a friend. It was a saddening realization, that your supervisor is your only friend.

“Um, Omera told me not to linger, I-I should probably go.”

“She is the boss.” His tone held heavy sarcasm as he waved his gloved hand dismissively, a signal allowing you to leave.

“Enjoy your drinks, sir.” You squeaked out before turning on your heel and exiting the office.

---

The Cantina hadn't opened to the public yet, but most of the staff working for the evening had already shown up and begun preparing their stations for the night.

Coming out of the back, you were just finishing tying your apron around your waist, when the band for tonight began their soundcheck. Smooth jazz filled the silence of the mostly-empty club as you got to work, prepping the bar for the night.

It hasn't been a full twenty-four hours since your first meeting with the club's owner, but it felt as though it had just happened. Your brain hasn't stopped combing the moment since it occurred, overly dissecting every minute of the interaction. Even as you slept last night, he crept up in your dreams.

Right after you had returned from meeting him, Omera and a few other waitresses questioned you about what had happened. You told them the truth; that The Mandalorian had stopped you and inquired a few things before you excused yourself.

What you didn't tell them, however, was how infatuated the short interaction had made you. The smell of his cologne had been burning a hole in your nostrils since meeting, as if your body was desperate to not forget the scent. Cigar smoke, patchouli, and dark amber.

“Hey you. Surprised you didn't go running for the hills after last night,” A voice caught your attention from wiping down the bar. Looking up, your gaze met the sight of Omera. She held a gleam in her dark eyes and a devious grin plastered across her full lips; almost as though she knew something that you didn't.

“I need this job, or else maybe I would’ve.” You humored before furrowing your brow, “Why are you being weird?”

The woman leaned onto the bar, hands tucked under her chin, the smirk still planted on her face, “Someone made a good impression with the boss last night.”

“Oh?” Was all you managed to squeak out, immediately turning your attention back to wiping down the bar's surface. You could feel your face turning hot at her statement, grateful the lights were dim enough to hide any evidence of embarrassment.

“He’s taken a liking to you,” She gleamed, “And asked me if you could be his exclusive bottle girl for the foreseeable future, to which I said yes.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head, greeting the woman's eyeline once again.

“Omera, This- I Don’t-” You began stuttering, however, the head bartender cut you off.

“Look, I know it seems scary, but it comes with a pay raise, extra tips, more benefits than any other employee gets...” She then paused, a raunchy memory clearly coming back to her as she spoke. “Really good benefits…”

Snapping back to reality and meeting your eyes again, she suddenly looked forlorn, “And I know you're behind on your parents’ debts-”

“Please...” It was your turn to cut off the woman now, putting your hand up to pause the moment. You didn't need the reminder that you could be homeless within a few weeks.

When you moved back to Mandalore, you hadn't learned of your parents financial situation until after you had taken on all of their debt. The main reason you started working at The Cantina in the first place is because the pay and tips were great; but being just one person paying off your parents’ debt, rent, utility and regular bills, on top of your own college student loans; you had fallen behind.

“Look, he’s hosting some guests tonight. I recommend you get up there and take their order as soon as they get here.” Omera didn't pry more, only giving you gentle encouragement. You nodded towards her, a way of silently accepting the position.

--------

#mob boss!din djarin #mob boss!din djarin x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction

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toiletwipes · 3 years ago

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hoppípolla; part one

college!dream x afab reader but they pronouns

nervous college student you, smoked weed with dream one night and you couldn't ever forget it. starting a crush you knew would be the death of you. and at the moment, you had a terrible way of dealing with things. and things just kept happening, one thing after another.

a little author's note: i'm splitting it into parts because i like the attention and also because it feels right

2.37k words

----

he literally couldn't get any hotter.

you sit at a mini-bar, crossing your leg over the other, sipping at your sprite. there was he was, in all of his fucking glory, was dream. your classmate in your english course and the one person at this party who you knew, for an absolute fact, smoked weed. and although he wasn't smoking right now, the beer in his hand said that he probably wasn't going to be, tonight.

oh you knew, this was a college dorm party, and people tried all sorts of party drugs, and weed was the tip of the iceberg. no, you knew that.

but no one was also that hot.

well.

maybe they were but they just weren't dream, not a stoner, not someone who had damn good genetics, and someone who knew how to roll a joint perfectly. not to mention, his best friend sapnap? also your best friend.

he's the one who introduced you two, despite having shared english for the past year. and he's the one who brought you and dream to the party.

(yeah, you sat in the back, pulling at the cords of your hoodie, watching the sides of his face move with quiet notions, talking to sapnap as he drove and playing soft music to match the rain.)

thinking even more, you wanted to just get up and go outside, just the urge to smoke something and anything, something to fill your lungs as your mind numbs just even the tiniest bit.

you sigh, taking one more sip of your drink before leaving it at the mini-bar, slipping your hands into the pocket of your hoodie and sliding out a cigarette out of its carton. taking a step outside, you sigh in relief seeing the dry porch. several others sat in a circle, passing around a beer and two decent blunts. sometimes sharing a kiss, sometimes the smoke between their lips.

what you would give to do that with dream, you bemoaned silently, as you lit your own cigarette, inhaling the bitter nicotine as you enjoyed the patters of the rain.

wiping your hand down on a bench, and seeing as it wasn't as wet as you thought it would be, you take a seat and take another long drag.

"so, what did he say?"

a girl with a bright green mullet and the sides of her head dyed pink, and several piercings in an non-existent eyebrow, she stares at you expectantly. as if you had an answer.

"don't know. haven't really talked to him." you shrug, trying not to think about any of your past conversations with him. all dull, all about school, all about homework. there would be no reason for him to agree to anything dealing with you in any romantic sense. or sexually, if you even dared.

"you know what that means right?" you look at her with a pinched expression. "it means you start talking to him, then ask him to blow your back out, or whatever it is you want" you almost choke on the smoke coming out of you but you mostly laugh it off.

"yeah like he'd want to talk to me," you muse, finding the stranger oddly comforting as she came over to sit next to you.

"well you don't know that, do you?" you had to give her that. you didn't know. but it wouldn't take a genius to guess the right answer. "does he smoke?" she asks, turning to you and feeling like there's nothing really stopping you from becoming besties, you pass your cigarette to her.

"i know he smokes weed but nothing else as far as i'm aware." you lean forward onto your knees, pressing your chin into your palms. "but honestly, i don't know him that much to begin with, so like, what's the point?"

the mullet hands it back to you after a pondering puff, and when you take a drag, she answers. "well, the way i see it, you can ask him out or you hookup tonight, or try to move on if you're serious about him." she pats your knees, moving to stand as she stretched. "but really, i hope it goes well, and if you need anything," she flicks out a card and watches you take it with disregarding eyes, "give me a call." and without as so much another word, she's leaving in a Beetle with her circle of friends.

glancing at it, it's a card to the floral shop but with a name on it. pocketing it and then snuffing out the bud, you leave it dead on the porch, hoping to find sapnap and beg him to take you home.

you appreciated the nice girl for the conversation and maybe the start of a healthy friendship, but even just being with someone other than dream made your heart twist in your chest.

you didn't have time to search for your best friend as he clung to dream, who was dragging his ass close to the door, where you stood now.

and when you finally appeared in his vision, you see relief and a smile sink into his face. you don't know why but you push down a smile as he approaches you with long strides. but what happens next is downright hilarious.

"we have to go right now, sap just puked all over minx and she's this close to blowing this house up," his nose wrinkles with his smile, you notice, but you nod without much thought.

"need me to drive?" you offer, though, you hates nothing more than exactly that.

"please, i've had a few beers and i don't want to risk driving tipsy," he says and you want to just cry.

you nod as you hold your hand up for the keys, and upon them being dropped in the center, you swallow down the dryest, biggest lump in your throat.

hearing several honks behind you, you don't even move above the speed limit in the neighborhood, which was five. it was fucking raining and you happened to have the biggest crush in existence on the person sitting in the passenger seat.

"i know you're driving right now, but have you heard of this song?"

the first ten seconds are tense, piano notes building up to a release after the next twenty with a guitar and drums in the back.

you recognized it easily, finding it comforting. you smile as you glance behind your shoulder and flick your turn signal on. "it's called hoppípolla, isn't it? from that one movie with the cursed girl?" he laughs and your heart clenches, wanting to hear it more.

"yeah, i just wanted to see if you'd recognize it, i've shown it to like, ten people and only a few knew it." you knew it was silly to be proud to know it but you couldn't help it. you felt easy, easy to ply with.

"yeah, well, i do have an eccentric movie taste," you smile as you turn onto the next street over, finding sapnap's house immediately. originally his parents, but they were gone for a small vacation while it was the summer.

putting the car in park, you let out a breath, just happy to be done with driving for the moment. "you okay?" you jump in your seat, finding dream already out of the car with sapnap in his arms.

the man in question babbled with incoherent words, but you paid him no mind.

"um, yeah, i uh, i just- just hate driving," you grimace as you pull yourself out of the car, getting hit with the constant pelting rain.

he frowns, of all things, walking to the porch as you beat him there already, unlocking the door.

he lays sapnap down on the couch as you make your way to the kitchen, helping yourself to the gourmet chocolate cake left there by his parents' anniversary.

tasting as sweet as you thought it would be, but somehow so fucking bitter at the same time. maybe it's the way you want to cry but how lame would that be? found in your best friend's house crying as you ate their cake?

not cool.

wiping your face with the sleeve of your hoodie, you pick yourself up and sit on the counter, desperate to change how your feeling. your skirt riding up your thighs, almost hiding in your oversized hoodie, not that you noticed.

and as if he could read your fucking mind, he walks in as he's ruffling his head of hair, as if he just got out of the shower. catching you on the counter, you had half a mind to stop eating cake and get down but you just didn't care at this point.

"want some?" you offered, sliding the platter of cake towards him while you tried to hide the fact that your face was blotchy and your nose couldn't stop sniffling. you hated the way pity looked in people. but when you turned to give dream a spoon, you saw nothing but a man with flushed cheeks and darting eyes. "are- are you good, dream?" you ask, almost disbelieving that this man is anything but flustered.

"you just, uh, well. i- i don't know how to say this but." he covers his mouth and face with one hand as he points to your lap. raising an eyebrow, you turn your head down to see the little, cyan bow on the front of your grey panties.

"oh fuck-" you dropped your fork as you yanked your skirt down and hopped from the counter, barely meeting his shoulders as you went to move away from him.

tears dropped from your eyes faster as you went to leave, when dream's arm shoots out to stop you, grabbing you by the arm as he protests you leaving.

"okay, it's bad but you can stay, um, let's just finish the cake and go to bed." you really didn't want to, dream seeing your underwear while you ate cake was forcibly checked off your bucket list.

turning around, you wanted to shrink and then be crushed like a bug underneath dream's shoe, but you settled for picking up your spoon and shoveling a bit of cake in your mouth until you couldn't think about anything else.

you flashed your crush, and he asked you to stay to eat cake. cake, of all things, you mourned.

wished somebody eat you out, you weep in your head, and come to your horror, dream starts choking on cake, coughing loudly as he punched his chest.

"i have a feeling i said something out loud." you feel humiliated as you just let the fork fall from your fingers, walking out of the kitchen, not hearing the man disagree and then as you're about to just pull your shoes on and leave, dream comes out of the kitchen and puts his hands on your shoulders.

"listen, uhh, i don't want to freak you out, but a few weeks ago, when- when we went to that party with george, he may or may not have said that you had, uh, that you have a crush on me and- is- is that right?" his words fell out of his mouth faster than he could trip over his feet. "do you like me like that?"

you wanted to melt into the ground.

"can i just go?" you whimpered out, turning your head as you tried to pull his hands off your shoulder.

"please answer the question," he begs, moving his hands from your shoulders to your cheeks, cradling it as he got closer. "because i cannot stop thinking about you, and every time we're alone, you always leave as soon as possible but then you looked so hot on the counter-" he breaks off, moaning under your stare as you listen with wide eyes.

"please say you feel the same," he begged pulling your face close to his as you gripped his arms.

"and what would you do if i did?" you whispered, eyes closing as you tried to hold onto your beating heart. his breath fanned over your lips, and all you could think about was him, him, him.

"anything you'd let me do," he says and you let out a broken moan when your two lips met, slotting against each other as if they were always meant for this. he moves his hands from your face to your shoulders and down as he moved to your waist. you grabbed a handful of his hair, the other holding the side of his face, and he moves his mouth from yours and licks a stripe down your chin to your neck.

"do you remember the day we first met," he murmured against your skin as you panted. "you were shivering while we waited for the professor, and you asked if you could borrow my jacket." it does ring a bell but you're not thinking too hard when he starts biting into your neck.

"and when you keep showing up, wearing my jacket, and that pretty, short skirt," he reaches up with one hand to hold onto your neck as he sucks a hickey right into your skin, painting as much as he could with such a pliable canvas as your skin.

"the things you do to me," he lets out a moan so broken, you wondered how he could be this affected by you and you not noticing for so long.

"we have all night, we can-" you let out a whine as he sucks hard into that sweet spot, "we can try to do it, everything, everything you and i want."

reaching down, he slipped his hands underneath your ass, picking you up with ease as he moved towards the guest bedroom. "i hope you're not planning on walking anywhere tomorrow," he pants in your ear, leaning you against the door as he uses the one hand to open it. kicking it behind him, he lays you on the bed, pushing up his hoodie to mouth kisses onto your stomach.

"as long as you'll have me," you spoke with need, your voice breaking just as much as his. and he nods hard, before he moves back over you to kiss your lips.

"you ready?"

#dream x reader #dream x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken smut #dream fic #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dreamwastaken x y/n #also woo hot mama #this felt good to write #especially after having idea after idea #and not being able to finish any of them right away #anyways #part two will probably be uploaded today or tomorrow #so be on the lookout

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oddaodd · 4 years ago

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· For Ages ·

Summary: Y/n falls for her lifelong friend, Tommy.

Warnings: SPOILERS for season 2 and all next seasons, mentions of smut, death and alcohol.

Author’s note: Wooooo first fic of 2021! Happy new year everyone, I wish you all the loveliest of years! ✨❤️

Tommy and her had been friends for ages, they had always been each others rock. The moment y/n had laid eyes on him she knew he was her person. When Tommy left for war she spent endless nights crying over his absence and when he came back she spent endless nights in his bedroom because talking to her helped keep the shovels at bay.

But much to y/n’s dismay they never did more than talking. You see, she had been harboring a secret From Tommy. One she doubted would ever share with him. She had fallen for him.

Grace’s arrival in Birmingham made y/n burry her secret even deeper into her soul. She cherished Tommy too much to loose him over an unwanted sentimental confession. Y/n saw how happy the Irish barmaid made Tommy and she didn’t want to keep him from that happiness. He needed that happiness. Having that in mind she decided to let things play out, not too worried about the outcome because after all, she expected Grace to leave after a while.

But then Tommy told her he was marrying Grace.

What do you think?” He asked. She was the only person whose opinion mattered to him.

“I-I think it’s great” she lied through a fake smile “I’m happy for you Tommy”

There was a heavy silence that y/n feared allowed Tommy to tell just how she was feeling.

“I have news too” she continued “Im going to Hertfordshire”

“Why?”

“I’ve been needing some country air”

And so before the wedding Y/n left. The county air did do her good. She knew it would be unbearable to see the love of her life married to another and each time she thought of Tommy she went and took long walks on the many flower fields that surrounded her property.

She got news of Grace’s passing and was tempted to return to Birmingham, but she didn’t know if she could face Tommy so she just wrote him a letter. Days and months passed and she was convinced she would spend the rest of her life in the old country state, but then she got a black hand and shortly after, a call from Tommy urging her to go back to Birmingham. Apparently the Changrettas knew she used to be awfully close to the family.

She arrived in Birmingham and was surprised to see a broken family. She could tell Tommy was hurting and though she tried to comfort him all Tommy did was push her away.

One night a knock called Y/n to her door. She opened it, seeing who she expected to see behind it and invited him in. That night they talked like they hadn’t in years and Y/n felt a sense of belonging she hadn’t felt in ages. The alcohol started working its magic, Tommy began smiling at things y/n said, which he hadn’t done in ages. He knew it was partly because of the alcohol in his system but also he couldn’t not attribute a great part of his improved mood to y/n’s presence. Y/n too became giddy and happy And with each sip she took from her glass she felt the chains that prevented her thoughts to traveling at how much she yearned for Tommy loosen. She wanted terribly to feel his lips pressed against her and his body on hers.

“Y/n?” Tommy’s voice broke her thoughts. Apparently she had been staring at him intently enough for a drunk him to notice.

“What?” She asked sobering up slightly.

But Thomas didn’t speak again, his eyes were fixated on her lips and in the blink of an eye he was kissing her. He half expected her to push him away but she matched his need and force to the nail.

The line y/n had drawn ages ago that she knew she shouldn’t cross in order to not jeopardize their friendship got painted over by Tommy’s touch and caresses.

Her old bedroom became witness to her old fantasy from ages ago coming true. When their ecstatic breathings came back to normal y/n once again fixated her glance on Tommy who fixated his to her ceiling, a billion of thoughts crossing through his mind. The alcohol effect was wearing off which forced him to overthink what had just happened between them.

Y/n tenderly placed a cold hand on his cheek prompting him to look at her. Her touch seemed to startle him. Was he ready for it after Grace’s ? She noticed the doubt on his features and pulled her hand away “Sorry”

“I have to get going” he mumbled standing up and getting dressed.

Y/n looked at him in bewilderment . She wanted to ask him to stay but decided against it, curling into her bedsheets after she heard the sound of her door closing shut.

The next morning she awoke with an aching heart and and anxious mind. Had what happened between them burnt the bond they shared? Knowing that the vendetta was bad enough she decided to not let her feelings show.

Tommy grew guilty as he Painfully saw her fake smile at him whoever their eyes met for the following days. He wanted to tell her everything, he wanted to make it right, but he found his words lacking. Instead he too concealed his true emotions behind.

Things went back to “normal” after a week or so. They would talk and sometimes drink together, but they never talked about what had happened in y/n’s old room.

When the vendetta came to an end y/n found herself walking towards Charlie’s yard, the place had always provided her with an odd sense of comfort, like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.

She sat on a box by the edge of the cut and let out a sigh. It was finally over. She began thinking of all the times she and Tommy had sat together on that very spot and contemplated life. All times that seemed long gone.

And then as if by conjuring, the sound of Tommy’s boots walking on the gravel hit y/n’s ears. They grew closer and closer and y/n’s heart Began beating faster and faster. He sat next to her and produced his cigarette case and lighter from his coat. Offering her one and lighting it before his, both of them entering a peaceful silence. Tommy wasn’t a man of words but the fact that he was there with her told her he felt guilty.

“Remember how we used to hide here when we were kids?” Came Tommy’s voice.

Y/n glanced at him with a melancholy air and smiled sadly “And John used to get so upset that we never told him where our secret hiding spot was”

“Yeah” Tommy began as Y/n let her head rest on his shoulder “he spent hours whining to Polly begging her to make me tell him”

Y/n chuckled and Tommy felt his emotions stir at her movements “I could hear his tantrums from my house”

It felt strange, talking about John. Raw, recent and intimate. It was the first time Tommy spoke about him since his death. He didn’t like it. Y/n took a look at him and saw conflict in his face.

“Are you going back to Hertfordshire? He asked, abruptly changing the subject as he felt her eyes on him.

She took one last long drag of her cigarette before putting it out and fixing her glance to the murky waters of the cut “I’m not sure”

“Stay”

“Why?” She blurted out. Taunting him like that felt dangerous, even after everything.

“I want you to stay” he confessed very shorty after y/n finished her question.

Y/n turned back to look at him. Her eyes full of vulnerability and unspoken pleas. Tommy took his hand and caressed her cheek. An action that caused a small, almost unnoticeable gasp escape her lips. He began slowly inching closer to her lips, giving her time to back away if she didn’t want his touch, but she stayed perfectly still until she felt his lips pressing against hers. Her arms flung to his shoulders pulling him closer to her, he could never be too close.

She felt her heart about to burst as the kiss deepened. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol that enhanced the feeling of Tommy’s tongue against hers, or maybe it was just because it was him, her Tommy from ages ago.

She parted from his lips briefly and before kissing him again breathed “I’m not going anywhere”.

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy

#Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby one shot #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby one shot #tommy shelby angst #thomas shelby angst #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders one shot #peaky binders angst

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seodami · 3 years ago

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Dearest treasure | KTH

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts together)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2021

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hueningkai, happy birthday to youuuu...” the crowd gathered in the small kitchen around said birthday boy, singing more or less in unison, while some were eagerly hitting his back, hoping he would finally blew out the 18 candles on top of the colourful decorated cake. Yeonjun, one of his friends managed to sweep some of the delicious cake frosting onto his finger just to smear it right across the now 18 year old boy’s cheek.

Taehyun let out a loud laugh, holding their other friend Beomgyu back from joining in on the incoming chaotic frosting war. It was far too crowded in this hot tiny kitchen for having at least 20 people smearing each other’s faces and ruining their make up. It was like everyone was going wild, letting free their stress and problems of the day.

It wasn’t until Taehyun himself felt something wet and extremely cake scented against his own cheek - and due to his rapid motion - also on his lips. His eyes met yours for the first time that moment. And he swears, his heart must have felt extremely sporty this exact moment because it started racing like crazy when he saw that adorable cheeky grin sneaking on your face, eyes moving swiftly down to his lips, where the frosting had been put, before going back to his eyes again. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes, which immediately pulled him into a ban. It fascinated him too much to look away.

He didn’t know how long you were just silently teasing each other, but the next moment he wasn’t holding onto Beomgyu’s arm anymore. He sweeped up some frosting himself on his index finger, deeply digging into the cake, and before you could even realize what was going to happen, there was already a big fat purple trail of frosting from your cheek up to your nose. Taehyun playfully laughed at his creation, trying to get away from you as fast as possible as soon as he saw your determination in your face. Oh you were so not gonna lose to this boy.

You chased each other laughing around the kitchen, the connection strangely already built, even though none of you could explain how or why. It was just there, like a spark in the dark. You managed to find the perfect opportunity to sneak up behind him, looking searching into the crowd, and slap some more frosting right on his other cheek. Taehyun let out a surprised squeal, with one swift motion he had already turned around to look at your big lively eyes. The blonde boy could only laugh in disbelief, seeing you burst out into a fit of giggles. Taehyun didn’t see the intense stare from his now 18 year old friend in his back, nor did he see how your heart skipped a beat when you took a glance at him.

It wasn’t his intention to only talk to you this long evening. It wasn’t his intention to ruin Hueningkais mood because he kept his crush away from him. And it most definitely wasn’t his intention to fall for you and your witty charm so quickly. But let’s be honest, life wasn’t made to be perfect. It was made to be full of surprises and colourful like a big bag of candy. You never knew what you would get.

2022

Your first kiss happened on a random Thursday evening. When you decided to tag along a few of his friends to a camping trip, Taehyun knew that would be his downfall. When you two first met at Hueningkais birthday party almost a year ago, he didn’t knew about his younger friends huge crush on you. Quite honestly, he felt horrible for what happened at this day. And he felt even worse about the feelings he was secretly harvesting for you.

When his friend Soobin told him about the youngest misery, the first thing Taehyun did was rushing to Kais house and apologise for not knowing. He could see that day how his previous actions were burdening his friend, even though he tried to hide it, they were crushing his happy self down. And Taehyun swore to himself after this day, that he would never ever want any person to change just because of his behaviour. He wanted Hueningkai to always be this bright, cheerful, innocent boy he knew and everyone adored. And what was even more important to him: he swore to never let a girl go between any of their friendships. And if you were important to Kai, Taehyun wholeheartedly meant to step back and let his brother-like friend find his happiness. He really meant it.

But it had to come differently. Taehyun tried a whole year not to come into contact with you. He tried to not be present at the same events as you, he tried not to answer your friendly ‘hey’ messages at midnight and he tried to avoid your eyes whenever you walked past each other. But how could he be prepared for this camping trip- 24 hours a day with you in close proximity. It was a challenge set to fail at the very beginning. And he knew it.

It was visible for everyone that you saw Hyuka as just a friend. You didn’t have the sparkle in your eyes like you did when you looked at the blonde boy and you didn’t searched his eyes in a crowd of peoples. You always looked for Taehyuns eyes. Not for Hueningkais. But how could anyone resent him to not realize after having a crush on you for already over 5 years. Yet nobody dared to tell him. They didn’t want him to be hurt.

But this one evening was different. Taehyun could have run away. He could have. But he didn’t when you approached him sitting alone on a small cliff, the warm sea water flowing peacefully and steadily under their feet. His face was turned slightly upwards towards the disappearing sun. It was still warm and humid. You silently sat down next to him, only a few centimetres apart. It was too close for his liking. He could smell your scented hair and see the little redness on your cheeks from the shining sun just hours before. He could see your pink lips moisturised and glistening as your tongue glided against the flesh. You were way too close and it made him anxious.

He could have just left or stared blankly ahead of him but you made it so hard for him to not to fall into a comfortable and excited flow of talking. And before he knew, the both of you talked and laughed together, shoulder against shoulder, thighs brushing against each other here and there. Anyone could have seen the chemistry between the two of you. The sparks were almost flying a mile away.

Soon, Taehyuns nervous glances behind his back stopped as darkness rolled over you and the only thing he could see was you in front of him in the soft light of the moon. Your face was so close. Your lips were just there. Just for him. And not a split second before the thought had gotten into his mind, you closed the small gap between you two.

He didn’t knew what had gotten into him that exact moment. He knew it was so wrong, yet it was so right. It happened so quick- your lips against his- maybe he even imagined it but the tingling against his own lips afterwards pulled him back into reality. He goddamn kissed his brothers crush and now he had to live with the consequences. And he was so afraid.

2023

A year later, everything seemed going in every thinkable direction. Yet, it went all differently than he thought. A lot had happened after that first kiss of yours. It wasn’t very difficult for your friends to figure out the whole situation and set together all the puzzle pieces. Soon they all knew about you two. It didn’t made any sense to stay away from each other when you two obviously were head over heels for each other. You tried hiding your blooming relationship but was it really an option to begin with?

The moment Taehyun dreaded more than anything else, was Kai finding out. And of course he did. When he saw you two coincidentally at the ice cream parlour, trying each other’s flavours, your head laying on his shoulder, he knew. Deep down he knew it before and deep down he was understanding that he never could be in Taehyuns shoes. He always felt like he was lacking, comparing himself to his best friends. It was like a heavy punch inside his abdomen, maybe also in his face. And when Taehyun turned around, meeting Hueningkais teary, hurt eyes, he felt like crying himself. He felt so much worse than he thought he would. He felt so useless, like the worst person alive. He broke his best friend. And he suddenly wanted to turn back time to Kais 18th birthday party and wished he never smeared that cake onto your face.

It was a tough time afterwards. You never knew about Kais crush on you, so it left you feeling utterly helpless. You wanted to help somehow but just made it worse. Taehyuns friendship with Kai also was severely damaged and you felt it was just because of you. To say the least, you both felt horrible. But could you really if you both just followed your heart?

It took a while but for Taehyun it was every second worth the wait when Hueningkai came to talk to him. It was a long heartfelt conversation filled with tears, apologies, forgiveness and lots of hugs. Taehyun felt deeply thankful towards his friend. Kai knew he couldn’t hold his friends happiness away from him. He knew a girl who didn’t want him wasn’t worth losing one of his dearest and closest friends. He knew his feelings for you soon or later would disappear. It just took some time.

And it indeed got better for all of you. Him and Kai were as close as before if not even closer and between you and Taehyun was nothing but love. Taehyun had never felt such feelings this strong for anyone else before. Not even his eleven year older babysitter he had a crush on when he was 7 years old for whom he waited anxiously every time his parents went out. Taehyun felt absolutely great being with you. He loved the way your conversations flowed so well and he loved the way you always supported each other. He didn’t know much about relationships in the first place since you were his first real girlfriend but somehow he knew this was just right and just healthy. You just clicked.

2026

Taehyun was 24 and you were 23 when your first break up happened. It wasn’t out of hatred or jealousy like other couples may go through, no, it was because you both decided to. It was the best move at that moment, thinking that a long distance relationship over half the globe couldn’t work anymore. It worked for a year since you left for France to work. It was a good paid job in just the right place for you and you loved it. But you hated being so far away from Taehyun.

Your relationship was amazing. It was like living on fluffy clouds, always high with the feeling of euphoria and glee. But there had to be low points as well. The sky wasn’t always full of clouds. Sometimes you had to jump off to come into touch with reality. And this was such a moment.

However, nobody would have thought that sometimes these decisions we make and find so hard to make, exactly these were the worse decisions. Taehyun felt like he was a hollow porcelain figure. He felt so lonely even though you still were parted by the ocean. And somehow he felt less lonely before the split. Now he felt like you took his heart with you. And the only person who could save him from drowning was you.

It only took him half a year- 6 months- to realize that he made the worst decisions in his life. Hueningkai, who had long lost feelings for you and now was in a happy relationship himself, literally beat some sense into his hollow brain. He couldn’t just lose you like that. And it took him only one kick to pack his bag and take the next plane towards France. Towards you.

To say the least, you were utterly shocked to see your (ex)boyfriend sit in front of the wooden door of your small apartment. His eyes weren’t sparkling like they did all these years before. And his hair had grown a bit- it was now black again. Seeing you again was like a spark of hope inside of him. He wanted to make it good again. He was determined to get you back, no matter how hard a long distance relationship might be. It was worth for him now, he learned that the hard way.

You pulled him up and inside your tiny flat. It felt so familiar touching him, yet it seemed so long ago. But you missed it…him. Before any words were shared, Taehyun pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You felt like crying, finally being with the person you loved the most. All your surpressed feelings came crashing back to you again. And you wanted to never let him go again. Hugging him felt like coming home again after a long trip. And something in this hug brought you reassurance that your story together wasn’t over yet. There would need to be much more difficult obstacles than an ocean between the two of you to part you.

2027

You cried. You bawled your eyes out. As much and hard as you possibly could. Taehyuns arms pressed you further into his firm chest, grabbing the fabric of his blue hoodie. Large wet spots were now found on top of it. The small plastic stick in Taehyuns hands felt heavy and cold. He couldn’t quite grasp this particular situation, being lost in his own train of thoughts. He was shell shocked. You on the other hand were emotionally on the furthest end. Not only were your hands shaking uncontrollably, but your whole face by now was sticky from all your endless flowing tears.

“It’s allright sunshine. We can do that. It’s just a surprise, not the end of the world, okay?” The 24 year old mans voice wasn’t as stable as he hoped it to be but it had the right effect on you anyways. Your big eyes saw his blurry face in front of you. A sob escaped your mouth. He gave you the sweetest smile, gently tapping away your heavy tears.

“I’m afraid, Taehyun…” your hoarse voice almost sounded as quiet as a breeze, you weren’t sure if he even heard it. But the man simply put his forehead against yours, patting your hair in the back with the utmost care. You could feel him nod slightly, being able to see the fear in his own eyes.

“I know baby, me too… but we can do this together. Really. You are not alone in this.” It was almost like a promise, telling you he never would leave your side. Not even when you would look like a bloated whale with calve and back pain. Not even when in less than 9 months you both would enter a totally different path in life. But you would do it together. And that was what calmed you down the most. With him you were never alone.

2029

When his big sparkling eyes met your elegant white figure, he couldn’t help but let a tear slip past his normally controlled face. No one could blame him. It was such a touching moment in every persons life being able to see their partner in front of the altar with their hand in their own. And when he saw that big bright smile on your lips, muttering the soft ‘I do’ in his ears full of confidence, he knew that life went just the right way. He suddenly believed in fate and soulmates and true love. Because when he looked at your eyes, he saw his future. Not only his past and present but all the other precious moments to come.

Your path up until this moment wasn’t easy and you both knew that. The pregnancy had been a tough one for you, containing dozens of sleepless nights, horrible mood swings and a 34 hour long birth. Taehyun still could remember the day his daughter was born as well as his own name. He still felt your squeezing hand, he still heard your painful screams and most importantly, he still remembers holding and seeing the baby for the first time, setting free emotions even he didn’t knew he had. It was a new world for both of you. But you regretted absolutely nothing.

And when he could finally lay his lips on top of yours, the priest declaring you his wife, he couldn’t hear his friends and families cheers and whistles. He could only really see you and his little daughter in her grandfathers arms.

2032

“Daddy hurry up. I want to play.” The small yet loud voice of Taehee, your first born daughter, boomed through the empty halls. Nothing adorned the blank walls yet and the only color he could see besides white, was the brown of the many carton boxes standing around on the floor. A satisfying feeling made itself known inside of the young father. The new keys pressed cooling against his palm. It was both of your hard work that enabled you to finally settle down and buy your first real house together. And it felt exhilarating.

“Soon bunny, we will first make some space here, alright? It may takes some time though. You can help me.” He offered the tiny girl his hand, which she immediately grabbed. While grinning from ear to ear, ponytails bobbing up and down, she looked way too much alike her mother. Even the way they laugh reminded him of her. Only the big innocent eyes showed him that indeed she was his child, glistening with the same amount of curiosity as his always did.

“When is mummy coming back? I want to see my little brother again. He was so cute.” The man smiled fondly at the girl in his hand and mentioned her to sit down onto the wooden floor. “They are coming this evening. They still need to rest a bit in the hospital until they can come home. But in the meantime we are gonna start unpacking and make a nice cosy dinner for mummy, how does that sound?” The girl nodded again, this time more excited at the mention of her new little brother and mother coming home. You were both over the moon when you found out about your second pregnancy. Unlike the first time, it was a happy memory free from all your doubts and fears. You already went through the first one so it showed to be a lot easier the second time. Yet it was just exhilarating as the first one, Taehyun finally found his loved ones and he would never ever let them go. He was the happiest he had ever been. It was all like a dream.

When you were finally being released from the dull hospital, this time with a tiny baby boy in the bowl in your hands, you were met with one of the beloved home cooked meals of your husband. Taehyun had gone all out to surprise you and the adorable girl besides him had the biggest smile on her face as he explained that she had helped her. The first meeting of Taehees new sibling was just lovely. Fondness was already written all across her as she carefully poked the baby’s chubby cheek. Taehyuns eyes were full of the purest form of love. Proud, yet so delicate, it was just as you had seen him on the day your first daughter was born. He was ready to give it all to his family. And he meant it.

The next day was just as eventful as the day before. Printed out pictures were all laying around the empty floor, now they were all sitting on a fluffy carpet. You were hunched over a white piece of paper, eccentricly writing down all and everything. Taehyun playfully peaked over your shoulders to get a small glimpse at the long heartfelt letter, you seemed to be writing with so much concentration, only to be met with a giggling flick on his forehead. You had told him it was only to be read in the future, not for now, so he respected your decision but it still didn’t hinder him from being curious and trying to guess what you were writing. Taehyun had always had the urge to find more about things he was interested in and constantly would sacrifice his free time to learn new skills or facts about all thinkable topics. Something you loved so much about your love.

“Alright. I’m finished. Now…bunny have you found your favorite drawings?” You folded the papers and stuffed them into a pink envelope. Glitter stickers were put all around by your little daughter. The girl nodded enthusiastically holding up a few of her fantastic, creative paintings so full of life and childlike excitement. Taehyun took them from her with a smile and layed them into the metal box together with your letter and a pile of photos you’ve carefully chose together.

You and Taehyun sitting on the couch at night, your children already sleeping tight. You felt his hot breath in your neck, letting your heart race like a maniac but still feeling completely and utterly lost and in love with this man. Laying against his upper body, you’ve spontaneously decided to hide a time capsule in your new garden full of your dearest treasures. It was a wonderful idea honestly, holding onto this seemingly perfect moment just for a moment longer before letting go and let the flow of life taking over again. A moment to freeze and lock up in a tiny box to look back at in the future. It was a secure feeling for the both of you.

After adding all the things you’ve found important, Taehyun recalled Taehee bringing one of her favorite toys and in the end there were way too many things inside, he could barely close the lid and lock it up. Together with a shovel, you made your way towards the backyard, finding a lovely spot next to a hazel bush. A place he could never forget as he saw his daughter running around with joy in her yellow sundress. Lovely. Just lovely.

Digging the hole about a meter and a half deep, Taehyun placed the box carefully into the cooling soil, smelling the intense scent of nature. With a last smile, he filled the hole with earth again, leaving back a bittersweet moment of farewell and a new segment of life. But that was how life went. Unexpectedly and still so lovely.

2045

“Dad, can you please drive me to Johnny? He asked me to hang out...” Taehyun looked up from his computer, legs crossed, too focused to fully realize what his 17 year old daughter just asked him. A distant hum was his only answer. “Dad? Did you hear me?” Taehee tried again, slight annoyance laced in her voice. Taehyun blinked surprised and snapped out of his bubble filled with work.

“What did you say bunny?” The same nickname had never left the now teenage girl throughout her whole life. “Oh dad…I asked if you could give me a ride to Johnny’s?” A hint of a red blush creeped up her ears and cheeks under her fathers piercing eyes. “Johnny who? The lanky skater boy from your class? The one who was expelled for violent behaviour?” Taehee shrunk seemingly but shook her head, trying to form an excuse. “No- I mean yes it’s him but dad he’s really not like that. You don’t even know him. He just asked me to hang out…that’s all.”

Taehyun pulled an eyebrow up but nodding, an incoming call from work disrupting his train of thoughts. “And? Can you?” She asked again, seeing her father already about to accept the call. “No…no not now bunny. I’m still working but you can ask your mum. She wanted to drive your brother to his boxing lesson.” With this he finally accepted the call, apologising for the wait. With a sigh and a short nod, Taehee turned and waved his father rejectedly, looking over her shoulder.

Little did he know… oh how Taehyun wished to relive this moment, never accepting that stupid call and just drive his children instead of you. Everything would still be alright. Everyone would still be here…

That had been the last moment he saw his daughter, his son and his wife.

When Taehyun received the life changing call, his heart fell into a sea of tiny deathly splinters. Nothing was left for him. He had nothing. Absolutely nothing. When the hospital told him about the deathly car crash his whole family had been fatally injured and in the end dying on the spot of the accident, he broke down… he wanted to cry and scream and shout and destroy everything…but he couldn’t. He was empty. And so empty, not only his family disappeared that day, he vanished as well, never experiencing the feeling of home and comfort and love ever again. He was completely lost and that forever. And that’s when Taehyun gave up. He just simply…gave up.

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emotionalsupportshelby · 4 years ago

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I've just ranted to @pipsqueak-loves-everything about ALL of Tommys trauma so here we go:

(I've probably forgot some things but let's go)

immigrant parents who Moved about a lot

Poor af

Dad never there and when he was possibly abused/beat him and the bros... Can't remember if that's cannon or just fan theories but wouldn't surprise me

Mum commited suicide

He sat for 6 weeks and, watched his First and possibly only true love die

Then was drafted into the war with 2 of his brothers and even more to that one of his younger brothers

Had one of the worst possible positions in the war which leads to ptsd nightmares and horrors, was in charge so had a lot of lives following his orders.. Lost 100s of people to which he prob has on his conscious, not knowing if he was going to ever make it home again, fought brave af to earn several medals, got mentally scarred, watched horses die which he said he never got used to... People dying sure horses no

2 closest friends Danny and Barney being HELLA mentally fucked by it, so much so Barney was in a padded cell, prob feeling like he's, the reason behind that cuz he was supposed to 'look out for them', watched Arthur lose it as well

And THEN returned after ALL he fucking went through and was expected to return to normal with no help

And that's before we get to the first series

then we get to season one

him and his closest friend since school have fallen out massively and ada is now preg with that dudes kid

best friend is losing it so much so Tommy has to fake kill him to keep him from being killed

The business he started before has boomed not giving him time to rest

He prob still has that Sargent attitude of if they see me weak they'll panic sorta thing

Dad came back stole money then fucked off

Arthur tried to kill himself

The girl he was falling for betrayed him

Being too scared to sleep incase the imaginary shovels come through the wall before the sun

Season 2

Friends dead

Brothers mental health worsening

Girl he loved moved on

Buisness is on the high again

Almost being killed - several times (I've gotta theory bout one scene I'll come back to this)

Aunt raped

Bros and cousin framed

Season 3

Started off finally 'happy'... Wife.. Son and taking a small step back imo

Then grace a stability for Tommy gets killed

His dad dies

He's against the priest who molested his cousin

The same priest takes his son, the last reminder of his wife

Has a fractured skull and is close to death

Is in WAAAAAY over his head with business - even had to deal with it on his Wedding day

End of season 3 had to imprison his family so that they would then be safe and pardoned for their crimes

Because of that in season 4

Aunt who he is probably close to the most hates him and is on drugs

Both of his in laws hate him

John gets shot and killed, Esme takes, his nephews.. Which fair but at the same time no

His cousin betrays his trust by not telling Tommy there was a plan for his death

Brother was seriously injured

Had to kill another of his friends then look after his dog...

Was reminded of his first (only) love who died, was thinking of her whilst fucking Lizzie which must have been sad af when he realised it was lizzie he was having a kid with and not Greta like he planned/wanted

Was then told to go on a break because business had stopped which was his first break since the war

Had a COMPLETE psychotic break

War ptsd in full effect

Imagining planes flying and bombing

Scared of fox hunting

Then turned to drowning his sorrows in alcohol which lead to his son being taken away for safety and his aunt going to the doctor on his behalf

Break was too much so then threw himself into politics which leads to

Season 5!

Boy is on more drugs than we've ever seen him on

He's hallucinating his dead wife and not only that his hallucinations are blaming him for his wife's death which shows he's still blaming himself 6+ years later (didnt realise it had been that long)

Kills the horse that his wife had because the horse wasn't mentally there

Which leads to his, son hating him

His cousin lost a LOT of the buisnesses money not listening to Tommy

Arthur is probably at the lowest he's ever been which leads to him turning to Tommy when Tommy can't handle it himself but puts pressure on himself cuz #sargentmajor

His work is the most stressful he's had to deal with, people looking down at him because of how he grew up

Most suicidal he's ever been

Is telling his sister to keep her kids & baby away from him

Also his work ends up getting his sisters boyfriend and baby daddy killed

As well as a child in the process

His marriage isn't healthy, his, wife guilting him saying he scares the kids + keeping them away from him

Is around the substance he abuses the most and had excess amounts of it

His plan goes wrong which leads to his best friend who was sectioned after the war because of his, shocking mental health and his aunts new boyfriend being killed also thinking he's found a man he can't defeat

Now I'm sorry but Tommy better get happiness at the end of season six because no one deserves it more than him dammit

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chalkrevelations · 3 years ago

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So, Episode 7 of Word of Honor, and where to start? No, I’m kidding, I know exactly where I’m starting, which is with some recognition of what a great job this show does of developing 98 percent of its multitude of characters, because the first two things I’m going talk about this week aren’t even Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing OR Wen Kexing’s thirst (AKA, the three main characters of the show).

Well, I guess I’m really starting with the usual warning – this is a re-watch and so there are SPOILERS here, not only for this episode, but for most of the show. Scroll away and come back later if you’re trying to watch all 36.5 eps unspoiled.

SO, I mean, come on. Of course I’m starting with the Smartest Man in the World, who has finally shown up in this episode, and I’m reminded once again what an actual cinnamon roll, too good for this world, Cao Weining is. He’s maybe the single completely good character we meet – even Chengling wants to burn down somebody’s house at one point because he’s mad. But Cao Weining is almost too good to be true – and yet, there he is! Living his best life, being good, eating good, falling in love, and refusing to let his beautiful, clever, fierce girl’s neuroses come between them. I love him, y’all. And not just because he instantly falls in love with A-Xiang when he happens to see her beat up a bunch of drunk bro assholes in the inn where he’s having a quiet little lunch by himself before she storms into his life like a purple whirlwind. But let’s do think about this from his perspective, yeah? And let’s remember it as we watch the progression of their relationship, as we wait for the revelation we know is coming, and as – many eps down the line – he learns the truth of her. Cao Weining’s first experience of A-Xiang is someone who’s brave and capable, who defies outsized odds to come to the rescue of those in need, who doesn’t allow women and girls to be abused, who expects proper behavior from the representatives of the jianghu, and who is absolutely fearless in demanding just treatment and never even thinks to be intimidated when she faces unfair censure from an authority figure. This is the girl WKX raised, y’all. This is a girl who embodies everything Cao Weining has been taught to believe in as a cultivator. And this is the girl Cao Weining sees every time he looks at A-Xiang. Maybe, just maybe, this is the truth of her, and Cao-dage sees and understands it from the very first time he spots her, and anything else he’ll learn about her is really extraneous. (Hmm. I wonder what other relationship we’ll eventually end up seeing that kind of dynamic in, where someone truly knows you and believes in you, so everything else is unimportant?) Also, Cao Weining tells A-Xiang she’s very beautiful, and how many people do you think have ever told her that before in her life? He asks why he would want to fight and hurt her, and how many people – particularly men, given where she grew up – have ever told her that before? He buys her lunch – twice, because the first round gets cold. Remember a few episodes back, when WKX asked her who the second cutest person in the world was, and she responded that it was someone who would buy her a meal? Well, here he is. For bonus points, it is hilarious how badly WKX responds to Cao Weining’s very existence after ZZS points out the pair of them having a toast at the same inn that WKX and ZZS have stopped in WKX has dogged ZZS’s footsteps into. Poor Cao Weining doesn’t even get the shovel talk – although to be fair, he doesn’t get the full-court Ghost Valley Master press, either, so WKX must have been holding back somewhat – he just gets told to get out, before WKX grabs A-Xiang by the ear and delivers some scathing commentary on her taste in men, like he didn’t immediately fall for some rando who was tits out, drinking himself to death in the gutter.

ANYWAY, from the Smartest Man in the World, we’re going to move to Han Ying, My Beloved, who we see interacting with the Five Lakes Alliance again, this time in the person of Gao Chong, leader of Yueyang Sect and host of the upcoming Heroes Conference, da-ge of the 5LA. I had honestly forgotten we got to see so much of Han Ying this early on. What strikes me here is that this is a guy who I actually could believe is the second-in-command of Tian Chuang at what is it? 21 years old? When he’s doing his job, and ZZS is nowhere around for him to make pining puppy-dog eyes at, he’s focused and determined and a bit forceful and somewhat threatening and, frankly, appropriately arrogant for the job he’s been sent to do. He’s also wearing a cloak with a mini-Collar of Evil. He comes off as, dare I say, a capable leader of an assassin organization and a guy who’s able to do a proxy flex for his boss without looking completely ridiculous - which puts him one up on Duang Pengju, omg that asshole, and also makes me feel a little better about how I want ZZS to wreck him (or I guess, technically, him to wreck ZZS, because I’ve never seen a character (except Marcus Flavius Aquila, THANK YOU for your service, Channing Tatum) who put off such subby service-top vibes. WHY is there not more Han Ying/ZZS on AO3, fandom? I thought better … worse? … better? … of you.) When Gao Chong claims the Glazed Armor is a myth, Han Ying basically calls this older, respected zongzhu a liar and gets up in his face before refusing a dinner invitation and sweeping out in his mini-Collar of Evil with a credible “PAH.” My boy has layers, y’all.

What else? We start out the ep at Luo Mansion, a wedding scene, and I’m struck by how the Ghost Valley colors match traditional wedding colors, here. I’m thinking about how A-Xiang’s wedding dress won’t be red (and I think green was more common during the Tang dynasty?) although all the decorations will be, and I’m thinking about how we have this wedding as a book-end to that wedding, and I’m thinking about how it’s interesting that a girl who was raised in the Ghost Valley and protected by the Department of the Unfaithful meets a man who’s going to be so faithful to her in the same episode as this wedding with/of the dead. Ghoul, who’s one of the attendees from the Ghost Valley, also remarks that the red makes him hungry, so there’s a meat reference to throw into the thematic basket, I guess. (Also, hey. Ghoul is played by the same guy who’s Sun Yongren in Killer & Healer.) Lovelace (ugh) briefly menaces one of the Department handmaidens before Luo Fumeng shows up, and I think she’s Yun Zai or Hong Lu, one of the two maids that A-Xiang rescued from him, although I’m not positive, because her hairstyle is so different and hides a lot of her face, here. So, we’re all attending the “wedding” of Mu Yunge, the apparent fuckboy who got got a couple of episodes ago as bait for Ao Laizi when Changing Ghost got his hands (briefly) on the Danyang Glazed Armor. We did see a brief scene with Yunge in the last ep, when he woke up tied up in bed, being menaced by someone who appeared to be his dead lover – who hanged herself while pregnant with their child – but turned out to be Beauty Ghost using a face-masking technique similar to ZZS’s disguises. In the interim, Ghost Valley has kidnapped 10 cultivators as his wedding party, and – this is the important plot point – that includes Deng Kuan, head disciple of Yueyang Sect. We get to see some of Beauty Ghost’s ruthlessness here, as she carries in the dead woman’s memorial tablet draped in a red cloth – how’s that for some foreshadowing (my f’kn HEART) – to set it down in the “bride’s” place before Yunge is forced to bow three times. (Dead girlfriend was a Mo from Broken Arrow Manor, and I … am not sure if that is significant or not. Is she possibly related to Mo Huaiyang? Does anyone know which sect is associated with Broken Arrow Manor?) Beauty Ghost also kills two of the 10 “guest” cultivators for talking without permission as she explains the next event to them – cage match. Only one of them gets to get out alive. Deng Kuan, the best of them, apparently, pleads with everyone to not let themselves be divided, but we can all guess how this is going to go. I guess maybe he’s the other completely good character we meet, but he sure is a punching bag. He ends up the last man, sort of, standing, as he kills the final other person in self-defense, but not before getting stabbed, and he goes down and is out for the count.

Meanwhile, cut to Zhao Jing and Shen Shen drinking and gossiping at an inn on the way to Yueyang. Shenshen – Shenshen – continues to bemoan Chengling’s uselessness, and also talks about the torture the other Zhang family members underwent just in time for Chengling to overhear in the hallway, so thanks a lot for even more trauma, Shenshen. Zhao Jing is so sad about it all, y’all. He’s just so very very sad, can we just stop talking about it, Shenshen, because you’re making him sad, and he’s just going to let Da-ge figure it all out, OK? Uh-huh.

Fourth plot thread of the episode is ZZS skulking around, following Chengling, trying to convince himself that this kid is safe now that he’s turned himself in to gone to live with the 5LA, even as ZZS spots Tian Chuang spies in the ranks of the Yueyang disciples and among the dumpling vendors on the streets outside. ZZS follows the dumpling vendor, gives him a code phrase and almost gets his head taken off by a Scorpion blade for his trouble, before stabbing Dumpling Man in response. WKX picks this exact moment to wander back into ZZS’s orbit, taking the chance to flirt as Dumpling Man spits up blood and dies in the alleyway, because of course he does. WKX tsks, accuses ZZS of being cruel, and quotes some poetry about fair faces and poisonous hearts, which - like all of his poetry - has a double meaning, because which of them is he really talking about, ZZS or himself? ZZS notes that WKX is openly wearing the (Danyang) Glazed Armor because of course he’s looking for trouble, but WKX loosens his stays and clutches his pearls and replies that he couldn’t possibly be looking for trouble – him? Philanthropist Wen? He’s not a merciless killer like ZZS. Whereupon ZZS finally says out loud what he’s been clearly thinking since he started going on about what an awful person he is in the LAST EPISODE, which is why the hell don’t you stop following me around, then? There’s some more flirting, and WKX continues to follow ZZS around, and ZZS takes note that WKX is obviously flaunting the Glazed Armor out in the open, and then there’s a little sleight of hand when Famous Pickpocket Fan Bu Zhi, oh noes! Steals WKX’s Glazed Armor right off his belt when he isn’t even looking! before WKX continues to follow ZZS around, conveniently into the same inn where Cao Weining and A-Xiang are having lunch. After WKX attempts to chase him away, we discover Cao Weining has had his wallet stolen. WKX deploys his Sadness Eyebrows to convince ZZS to turn over his wallet to pay for Cao Weining’s and A-Xiang’s lunch. ZZS – who does an admirable job of refusing for a bit – finally caves, and WKX orders lunch for everyone, on ZZS. Now all we need is Chengling, because the fam is not complete without Goldbean.

#cao wening #gu xiang #han ying #liu qianqiao #beauty ghost #zhou zishu #wen kexing #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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gamer-logic · 3 years ago

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Since my state, Georgia, is having the annual Peaches to Beaches event which is two days of statewide yard sales, I thought it would be interesting to show how America, the states, and any other countries wanting to participate both 1p and 2p would be during this event. So here you go!

Georgia is happily selling fresh produce like boiled peanuts and Vidalia onions and peach-based deserts. Her homemade peach cobbler and ice cream are to die for!

Antonio (Spain) also sells many fresh tomatoes, olives, and other vegetables. He doesn't understand why no one wants his Olive Juice though.

Hawaii and Alaska make a killing selling lemonade at their stand with a free complimentary handmade flower crown with every purchase. While using their sheer cuteness to attract everyone including one of those sweet biker gangs. It's really surreal to see a huge gang of buff, tattooed, tough-looking guys in leather wearing flower crowns and drinking lemonade. Allen's also there to supervise and ward of creep. Also, to provide people more 'incentive' to buy their lemonade.

Texas breaks out the Texas BBQ and is in a Barbecuing turf war with Jett (Australia). They draw huge crowds for the five-alarm chili as well and hold a competition who can eat the most without burning out their tongues and/or passing out.

Florida sells some of the weirdest stuff you'll ever see. "Want a full-scale model of a gator made entirely out of bottle caps? Only ten bucks! Want a portrait of Florida Man painted with orange juice? 15 bucks!"

Nevada also tries to sell weird and sketchy stuff to scam everyone. "This piece is the genuine article folks! One napkin gently used by Elvis Presley himself! Just 500 bucks! Also, gets into a haggling war with Lars (Netherlands). Somewhere Alfred's dad instincts go off and he reminds himself to ground Nevada.

California, Oregon, and Washington collaborate and California sells anything vegan or made with avocadoes and the autographs of Hollywood stars, Oregon sells his old tye-dyed shirts and records, they also made him sell his old groovy hippy bus from the sixties he'd never got rid of no one knew they had. Oregon can be a bit of a hoarder, so they had to tie him to a chair and gag him because he wouldn't surrender the bus without a fight. Washington also tries to sell and drink cups of coffee, but in the hot Southern heat, this doesn't end well.

Louisiana sells anything Cajun-style from frog legs to fresh gumbo, to beignets. Also has a full collection of Mardi Gras masks and shrunken voodoo heads on sale for two bucks a pop.

Gilbert (Prussia) gets tricked by Nevada and gets a ton of stupid things he doesn't need. Ludwig (Germany) tries unsuccessfully to keep him on a metaphorical leash.

Ludwig always checks the quality of things he sees and buys dog toys and supplies for Blackie, Berlitz, and Astor. Later, he actually buys a kiddie leash for Gilbert.

All the while Lutz (2p! Germany) is asleep in a lawn chair with his hat on his face after drinking like six cold beers from this really good booth. All the while, Klaus (2p! Prussia) finds an antique Teutonic Knights flag from a vendor whose family was from Germany.

Vash (Switzerland) buys antique guns from Alabama and Roderich (Austria) also checks out some of Tennessee's guitars. He's horrified upon seeing Alabama's banjo and washboard.

Mathew (Canada) and Emma (Belgium) combine their powers and tag team to sell the best pancakes and waffles on earth with genuine Canadian maple syrup.

New York sells tons of baseball memorabilia and collectibles. Allen, trying to save his bad-boy image, tries to be discreet when buying some while taking Hawaii and Alaska around to get something with their lemonade money. James also gets some hockey memorabilia with Michigan and Minnesota who also got snow cones.

Alaska and Hawaii see a giant deluxe dollhouse but are almost in tears when they don't have enough money. But they end up getting it for free because no one can resist their weaponized puppy dog eyes. Also, no one can resist a growling Allen. Using the leftover money, they buy cute little rainbow umbrella hats for everyone and have Allen wear one who begrudgingly accepts it.

James, walking by with an armful hockey gear and flannel shirts, bursts out laughing when he sees this. In revenge, Allen forces him to wear one too and help him carry the dollhouse, much to Hawaii and Alaska's delight! "I said go my way puck head!" "No, it's my way, you vegan loving hoser!" A passing Francis (France)' is in stylish horror when they also make him and a nonchalant Luis (2p! France), holding a case of vintage wines, wear them too. Hawaii and Alaska go around giving umbrella hats to everyone including a sleeping Lutz they pass by.

Loving (Romano) practically has to supervise Feliciano (Italy) and keep him from buying anything too stupid on impulse or get scammed. They still end up with stacks upon stacks of cookbooks, kitchen wear, and a Mona Lisa made entirely out of Macaroni. They also get umbrella hats.

Flavio (2p! Romano) browses through clothing racks to get ideas for his vintage line. Also checks out the handmade fabrics like quilts. "Such craftsmanship! This pattern is so unique and chic! I simply must have it! What's your price Bella?" The nice old woman selling the quilt just smiles, "Oh just about five dollars young man." "Perfect!" Flavio hands the quilts off to Andreas (2p! Spain) who's practically buried underneath the fabric. Luciano (2p! Italy) facepalms while holding a new knife set in its case. "Oooh! Look at those adorable hats I just have to have one." Cue three more umbrella hats and a humiliated Luciano. "Just kill me now..."

Katyusha (Ukraine), Elizaveta (Hungary), Lillie (Liechtenstein), Natalya, (Belarus), Katya( 2p! Ukraine) and Anastasia (2p! Belarus), and Michelle (Seychelles) explore with armfuls of clothes, new ribbons, and a gun case for Switzerland (Lillie), cast iron frying pans (Elizaveta, watch out Prussia!), farm tools (Katyusha), Jewelry and unmentionables (Katya), dresses (Anastasia), an assortment of switchblades (Natalya), and one of those singing fish on a plague (Michelle). It's definitely an interesting group.

Kiku (Japan) and Kuro (2p! Japan) find a nerd booth selling comics, manga, and Japanese weapons like katanas. Kuro test swings a blade and tries to slice the table so hard it breaks the blade, "Hmmm, not sharp enough for me, got anything else?" He throws it on the pile of broken blades he's already tested. Kiku stockpiles on limited-edition manga and he and the vendor end up getting into a huge, heated by Kiku standards, debate on who's waifu is best. Further down, Alfred reads every Marvel/DC comic while keeping an ear out on every state's location. He checks on Texas via his glasses and notices he's beating Australia in the chili contest. "That's my boy!"

Wisconsin wearing a cheese head sells anything cheese-based. He's got cheddar, goat cheese, string cheese, cheese spray, gorgonzola, grilled cheese, cheese curds, Mac n' Cheese, cheese sculptures of all world monuments, you name it he's got it! He also starts a war with Iowa's corn dishes and Idaho's potato dishes. They eventually end up flinging cheese, potatoes, and corn after they start dissing each other's foods. "Take this cheese brain!" "Nice aim, I-da-ho!" "I told you not to call me that!" "I'm gonna go children of the corn on y'all's behinds!" Poor Nebraska is stuck in the middle.

Alfred (America) hears the commotion and using his parent radar, immediately knows who it is and reminds himself to ground Iowa, Wisconsin, and Idaho later along with Nevada who, though still grounded for sure, makes him feel a little proud of since he managed to out haggle Netherlands.

New Mexico and Arizona also sell Native American handicrafts along with things like dreamcatchers and giant inflatable aliens. While Delaware, being the boring stick in the mud that he is, walks by with a framed and complete U.S. quarter collection from a vendor.

Kansas sells out of every sunflower she had courtesy of Ivan (Russia). Ivan and her the team up to buy out every sunflower seed from here to kingdom come. Viktor (2p! Russia) buys all the vodka he can find and a new shovel while Xiao (2p! China) tries giving people tattoos for 10 bucks a pop.

He tries to convince Yao (China) to get a hello kitty one to match the giant plushie he's holding, with the encouragement of Leon (Hong Kong) and Yong Soo (South Korea) who all collectively agree he needs to quit being such a grandpa. They also like calling him an antique-like the items on sale. " Aiyah! I'm not that old, aru!" "Yeah, you are Sensei." "Don't deny it! Da Ze!" Respect your elders!" "Tattoos originated in Korea da ze!" He totally is that old.

Oliver (2p! England) holds a bake sale and has people lined up for blocks to get some. Arthur (England), after having his scones shut down after it poisoned some unlucky squirrels, fries selling authentic magical items like unicorn hair or pixie dust. Everyone thinks he's a little crazy but he did sell a good bit of old magic books he needed to get out of his house, after making sure no one could actually use them of course.

The Nordics also went perusing for antique and handmade furniture when Mathias (Denmark) spots two full sets of Viking costumes and tries to get Lukas (Norway) to try them on with him. Lukas wasn't amused.

Berwald (Sweden) and Tino (Finland) also find a great handmade table to get after inspecting the workmanship and a full Lego set for Peter (Sealand), now if only Mathias would stop squealing like a little kid at the full piece lego death star. Emil (Iceland) keeps thinking he's the mature one until he spots a mini top hat and cane for Mr. Puffin.

In the end, everyone ends up wearing umbrella hats courtesy of Hawaii and Alaska, loving all the strange things they bought or counting the profits they made. Alfred (America) is proud of his kids and visits everyone one of their stands. He ends up looking pretty funny with an umbrella hat (HW, AK), a washboard, (AL),a picture of Florida Man, (FL), a balloon alien (NM, AZ), a tye dye shirt (CA, WA, OR), hockey stick shaped glasses (MN, MI), a giant stack of comics with a replica Thor hammer and Captain America shield on his back, all in a shopping cart (NV), and a giant turkey leg in his hand (Tx). Unsurprisingly, it was a tie between Oliver, Texas, and Australia for who earned the most with their food. Georgia just smiled as this was another great year for her state and people!

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violetwolfraven · 4 years ago

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Willie Headcanons

So I actually came up with this like a month ago and forgot to post it. Anyway enjoy my headcanons about our favorite sk8er boi. Be ready for feels.

Tw: death, car accident mention, emotional manipulation.

...

In my mind, Willie had a good relationship with his parents. They were supportive and everything. They both loved Willie very much.

And Willie has youngest child energy so I’m saying he has a sister who’s 2 years older and a brother who’s 5 years older. Their names are Delilah and Austin.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES.

Seriously imagine the worst possible combination of head empty only skateboarding and you’ve got Willie, Delilah, and Austin.

Austin started skating when he was 7 and got Delilah hooked on it a year later.

Their parents kinda didn’t like the idea of it but those two had already started teaching Willie basic stuff by the time he was 3.

But... the other two had other interests. Delilah was into art (painting) and Austin played piano (like, really well).

For Willie, skateboarding was his thing. And it always was.

He had fun with it when his big brother would put his hands on his and teach him to play a bit, or his sister would give him some paint and a spare canvas and they’d doodle together, but it wasn’t like skating.

As far as I’ve seen (which admittedly isn’t that far) it’s widely accepted that Willie has ADHD so I’m leaning into that here.

And Willie inherited his brain from his dad, who had a bad experience with meds and so wouldn’t let any of his kids go through it.

So Willie grew up unmedicated but probably better off for the time period. His dad taught him coping mechanisms. Him and Austin. Delilah didn’t inherit it but she was taught to empathize with her brothers and recognize when they needed her help with something.

She’s a badass who can and does beat up anybody who’s mean to her brothers for missing social cues.

But anyway while Austin had piano (and skating as a side thing) Willie got even more hooked on skateboarding than either of his siblings because his brain latched onto it from a young age and couldn’t let go.

We all have our outlets. The chaos in our brains has to go somewhere. For Willie it goes into skating.

When he’s young he and his siblings will skateboard to school and then after school they’ll skate all around Hollywood for hours.

They do their homework in random McDonalds and Denny’s and tbh become local cryptid customers. Like they’re just these 3 super friendly skater siblings who tip really well and visit every fast food place within a 20 mile radius of their house with varying frequency.

They also find e v e r y skatepark, empty pool, and vacant lot in that 20 mile radius that they can possibly find.

Their parents have to bail them out of jail for trespassing and the occasional vandalism every so often.

Sometimes one of them has stuff to do and it’s just two of them out skating but if two of them are busy the other one never goes out alone cause it’s dangerous. We’ll get back to that later.

So anyway when they’re 17, 14, and 12, Delilah comes out as a lesbian.

And the family is supportive of course because they’re a good family.

But her coming out gets Willie thinking. About how some of his friends have crushes on girls but he just... doesn’t see the appeal.

Like he has a couple friends who are girls and they’re great and he likes hanging out with them at recess but he doesn’t get the hype. They’re just more friends. So he doesn’t really see what his big sister is so interested in either.

In my mind Willie actually is from around the same time as the boys (dying in like 1999) so one day while nobody else in their house is home he and Delilah are watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Willie’s again wondering why people think Leia is so hot cause she’s cool and all but Luke is right there and he looks really good and—

Willie: I think I might be gay.

Delilah: Yeah I know.

They talk about it and Willie does decide to tell the rest of the family but he’s a bit wary about anyone else because he saw how some of Delilah’s friends turned on her after she came out. He doesn’t want that to happen to him.

He does end up telling a few of his friends but he doesn’t quite not care what people think of him the way his big sister does.

Austin is the only straight one and he’s like. So awkward about it but in a sweet way.

Austin: So, Britney Spears is hot, right?

Delilah: Stop.

And

Austin: So I saw you hanging around Chris the other day are you two..?

Willie: ...no...???

Austin: Cool, yeah I didn’t think so. Just had to make sure. Not that I’m doubting your ability to get boys but I’d have to shovel talk him if you were.

Willie: If I ever do get a boyfriend, please don’t.

He tries. He’s a himbo if that wasn’t clear. Where did you think Willie learned it?

So anyway fast forward a couple years and they’re 22, 19, and 17. Austin and Delilah are both in college and Willie’s the last one left at home and things between their parents start getting... tense.

Like they don’t fight exactly but they’ve fallen out of love and things are awkward.

Even Austin and Delilah can tell and they’re only home on breaks and some weekends but for Willie it’s right there and he’s watching it happen. He has no option but to see.

They used to have a rule that they don’t go skating alone because it’s dangerous but Willie just can’t make himself stay home so he goes out skateboarding.

At first it’s never too far from home or anywhere where there’s too much traffic but as things get increasingly awkward at home he goes out farther and farther, chasing the adrenaline high he used to get from going anywhere and everywhere every day after school with his siblings.

Then his parents officially tell him they’re getting divorced and

And it’s not like he couldn’t see it coming, but... it still hurts.

And neither of his siblings are coming home any time soon so

So he goes out skating on his own, way too far from home. He keeps going until he doesn’t even know where he is anymore.

He isn’t really paying attention the way he should but that’s not why he runs into trouble.

The driver of that red pickup is drunk and he rounds the corner out of nowhere.

If Delilah or Austin had been there they could have yelled for Willie to jump out of the way, or maybe up on the hood so the impact wouldn’t be as bad, but he’s alone.

So he gets hit, and the car was going fast enough that he’s dead before he even hits the pavement.

After that there’s a lot of confusion but once Willie figures out he’s a ghost... it’s too painful to think about going home, so he just... doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to see his family mourning him, so he just distracts himself, skating everywhere he couldn’t before without getting busted.

Plus some old routes where he used to go with Delilah and Austin, just for something that’s familiar but not too familiar.

He’s on one of those more familiar routes a few weeks after his death when he’s skating down Sunset Boulevard one night, singing along to Toxic by Britney Spears blasting from a nearby club and a man dressed in a purple suit comments on how he’s got a good voice.

Honestly Willie is just so relieved to have someone to talk to that he forgets about stranger danger completely.

Plus he recognizes an Elder Gay in Caleb and assumes he can trust him because the Elder Gays he met at pride that one time he went with Delilah were so nice and understanding of how reassuring it was to see queer people of older generations who got a happy ending.

Caleb barely even has to try. He just lets this 17-year-old obviously-queer ghost rant at him for a few minutes, asks a few questions and finds out that he also can play piano, and convinces him to come to the Hollywood Ghost Club the next night.

From there it’s not like Willie has anyone to save him so of course he has to join the club.

At first he’s completely alone because the other performers scare him almost as much as Caleb does.

Then slowly, he sees how they give him space because they know he’s scared of them. How they turn a blind eye when he leaves the club without permission. How they don’t critique his mistakes with the same sarcasm they show each other.

Willie starts to realize that the other performers are doing their best to look out for him, and he starts being less afraid.

They’re all too concerned with their own survival to really protect him but if they draw some attention to themselves occasionally so Caleb doesn’t notice Willie being slow to pick up some tricky choreography, that’s not too risky.

The others are all like 21 at the youngest and they really don’t appreciate Caleb tricking a literal child into working for him no matter how talented said child is. (Cause Willie is good at singing and piano. It’s just not his passion.)

The twins are 22 but they died in 1925 and before that they were performing to support a younger brother who they never got to say goodbye to so maybe they see Willie as a kind of second chance.

Lyssa (what I decided to name drummer woman because I don’t know her real name if she has one) is 25 and she died in 1984. She had a daughter who’d be about Willie’s age now and... who knows? Maybe they were friends.

Fuego is 24 and from 1951 and he had a childhood best friend who enlisted and died in WWII that he thought he might get to see when he died but that boy moved on and so... well, Willie’s just a little younger than his friend was the last time he saw him.

In short Willie becomes everyone’s baby brother and they do what they can to look out for him even if they’re just as scared of Caleb as he is.

And the better adjusted Willie gets to (after)life at the HGC and the better they get to know him, the guiltier the others start to feel about him being stuck there.

Eventually a combination of guilt and worked-up courage leads Fuego tells him about the whole unfinished business thing, in hopes maybe he can figure his out and get away from Caleb.

It doesn’t take Willie long to think of his family, how hopeless he felt about the divorce, how worried he was it would change everything and then how scared he was to see his family in pain because of his death.

He realizes his unfinished business is probably seeing them. Letting himself say goodbye.

He almost gets away with it.

Caleb catches up and stops him in the driveway of his house and poofs them back to the HGC.

He convinces (gaslights) Willie into believing that saying goodbye was never his unfinished business and even if it was it’s not like it would matter because Caleb wouldn’t let him do it.

The next morning he ships the HGC out to Tokyo. They stay on the move for a long time and when they are in town, Willie is basically locked in his room.

The next time he’s allowed out in Hollywood, his parents don’t live in their old house anymore and he has no way to find them.

As a coping mechanism, he just starts making the best of a bad situation. Becoming better friends with the other ghosts. Helping soften the blow whenever someone new comes along.

None of that means he stops checking the faces of passing skaters or keeping eyes on restaurants his folks used to like, but it does mean he more or less gives up hope.

That’s what he’s doing when he bumps into Alex.

Look, Willie loves his friends at the HGC. He really does. But there’s a big difference between 17 and 20-something. Like the others will drink alcohol some nights and technically Willie was born over 21 years ago but he still feels weird enough about it that he doesn’t drink.

He hasn’t talked to anyone his age in a long time so Alex is a breath of fresh air.

Also he’s like. Really cute. And sweet. And funny. And shit, Willie’s fallen for him before he even has time to think about it.

He keeps thinking about how Alex doesn’t seem like he’d be physically capable of hurting someone on purpose so Austin would approve and every once in a while there’s that sarcasm that pops out which means he’d get along great with Delilah.

In general Alex is the kind of guy he would’ve loved to take home to meet the family. Them not included, he’s kind of... everything Willie’s missed about Hollywood in the form of one person.

Then they hang out more and Alex is still everything he’s missed but he’s also so much more than that and...

It almost feels like a part of Alex is still alive. And for the first time in years, a part of Willie feels alive, too.

They’ve known each other for like a week tops and Willie is already in love.

Not that he’s admitting that to anyone, because he’s learned the hard way that anyone you care about can be used against you.

Still... when Alex asks for help getting revenge on Bobby, he can’t bring himself to say no because he needs to keep Alex in his (after)life and the only way he knows how to do that (or to make people be nice to him in general) is to be as useful as possible.

That turns out to be a big mistake, because Caleb sees right through him in an instant, targets Alex to confirm it, then immediately starts the process to trick the boys into committing to eternity at the HGC.

Willie feels like an idiot for thinking he could actually get away with it. Doing something good for someone he cares about.

He hadn’t thought Caleb would be interested in them because he’d never actually heard them play. The assumption was that he’d make them do some small favor and then let them talk to their bandmate for 5 minutes. A clean deal where they never have to commit to anything. Willie forgot to take magic into account.

He almost manages to convince himself it was all a bad dream, but when he seeks out Alex and his friends to check on them, he can almost feel the jolts himself, and seeing Alexthem in pain feels terrible.

Willie knows that theoretically they could figure out their unfinished business and cross over, but that all depends on finding it and doing it fast enough and if they failed...

People you care about can be used against you. And Willie does not want to be used against Alex again. He doesn’t want to see Alex used against him.

So he keeps his distance, in hopes Caleb will think he lost interest. He’s pretty sure once the boys find out about the stamp they’ll hate him, anyway.

And plus, as he’s been taught by his friends at the HGC, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Maybe you hurt somebody by not standing up for them, but you can apologize later and hope they forgive you. You can’t apologize if you’re gone, and it’s not like it would make a difference anyway because Caleb is too powerful for anyone to beat.

The thought of how spending eternity with Alex might not be so bad even if it has to be at the HGC does come up, but ironically that’s what makes Willie decide to screw his courage to the sticking point and tell them.

Because he has seen what decades at the club has done to his friends.

They’re all great performers, and they perform happiness well even to each other, but Willie knows them enough to know how tired they all are. How they have been doing the same thing over and over again for decades and they are sick of it.

They’re young, talented tragedies lost to drug overdoses, or AIDS, or accidents, or suicide, and they should’ve gotten to rest after everything they went through in their lives. Instead, they got a curse disguised as a blessing. They got to stay on a stage, got to keep performing and soaking up applause, never got to stop.

Willie has been there a shorter time than most of them and he feels it. The exhaustion, because ghosts are supposed to haunt for a few years then figure out their unfinished business and move on. They’re not meant to be trapped for decades, used as party tricks.

A part of Alex still feels alive and being trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club for years on end would kill that part of him.

Willie can’t let that happen, so as hard as it is...

He tells the boys what’s wrong with them. And by that hurt, betrayed look in Alex’s eyes, he’s honestly expecting him to never forgive him.

But then Alex does. And that almost hurts worse because whether he figures out his unfinished business or not, Willie doubts he’s ever going to see him again.

He honest to God almost cries when Alex hugs him because... shit, he hasn’t gotten a hug since he was breathing.

He goes back to the HGC and tries to go about his day, and keeps replaying how good it felt to have Alex’s arms around him, hoping that memory will get him through the next few decades on his own.

The ghosts at the club do actually gossip a fair amount and by this point all of them know about the 3 dead members of Sunset Curve.

So when Willie admits to Helen (what I’m calling one of the twins) that Alex hugging him was the first time he’d gotten a hug since he died, she hugs him tight for a good 20 seconds, telling him she’s sorry he has to lose him, and if Willie closes his eyes he can almost pretend it’s Delilah.

The next thing he knows, he’s locked in a closet.

Caleb comes to talk to (intimidate) him a few hours later, saying he knows what Willie did.

He’s magically locked in his room alone for a couple weeks after that and it’s essentially psychological torture.

Helen, Anna (what I decided to call the other twin), Dante, Fuego, Lyssa, and everyone else tell him not to test Caleb for the next couple years, but Willie has a heart full of love and a head full of fuck it, so he doesn’t listen.

He gives it exactly one day of being/acting scared and obedient, then goes out without permission again, fully intending to scream in a museum alone to let out all his feelings.

Remember: Willie didn’t see the Orpheum performance. He doesn’t know the boys didn’t cross over but by Caleb’s mood he has a feeling the outcome of that scenario was not in the magician’s favor.

He gets there and it’s literally this comic by the very talented @williessweatycherrysocks

He can’t stay long but he and Alex scream in each other’s faces, talk a bit, maybe sing a duet.

After that, they sneak to see each other when they can but don’t get to see much of each other for months.

It’s hard on both of them but they don’t give up on their relationship.

Through long and complicated events which I will outline later, Willie eventually gets free of the HGC, hugs his friends goodbye already making plans to take down Caleb for good to free them, too, and promptly declines an offer to stay in the Molinas’ garage.

As much as he wants to be close to Alex he’s done being confined to one place.

He still comes and visits like every day tho.

He knows a lot more about ghosting than the other boys do so he and Carlos get along amazingly like:

Carlos: So do you know who Jack the Ripper was?

Willie: No? How old do you think I am?

Carlos: I dunno but I thought it might be Caleb cause that would explain how he never got caught.

Willie, taking notes in his Things To Potentially Use To Take Caleb Down notebook: You’re a tiny genius.

No one was expecting it but everyone is in awe of how well he and Carrie get along. Between the two of them they know so much celebrity gossip. (and it’s definitely a good thing he’s on good terms with her cause she and Alex are close)

On the angsty side, Willie also bonds with Nick over how they both know how it feels to be manipulated and used by Caleb.

Also it takes a long time before he’s able to trust him, but he does get adopted into the Molina clan by Ray.

Ray reminds him a lot of his own dad, once Willie’s able to see that he’s nothing like Caleb.

Ray’s honestly just 100% happy to Dad™️ anyone who needs a dad so it works out great once Julie and the boys figure out how to make Willie visible.

But anyway back to important stuff.

Now that they don’t have to hide for any reason, Willie and Alex can both breathe a little easier. Or... they both feel better. Ghosts don’t really breathe.

Willie can finally let himself get used to feeling alive again.

The whole ghost gang goes (invisibly) to the Los Feliz Homecoming dance and maybe it should make him feel a little on-edge with the kind of club-like environment but...

He’s got Alex there, and they’re dancing to some corny pop love song from the 90s that Flynn probably put on because she knew the ghost boys would be there so how could he feel anything but safe?

For a minute it almost feels like actually being alive and there’s yellow and pink and blue lights coming from everywhere reflecting in Alex’s eyes and Willie is suddenly very aware of the fact that though they’ve been together for a long time now, they haven’t had their first kiss.

Then the Cha Cha Slide starts up and the atmosphere switches and Willie totally forgets about the whole romantic tension thing because it’s the Cha Cha Slide everybody has to dance along.

Dirty Candi performs towards the end of the night and the ghost boys cheer the loudest despite how Julie’s laughing at them. They don’t care that Carrie can’t even hear them, they’re being supportive!!!

Everybody screams even louder when Flynn runs up on stage and kisses Carrie and Willie feels a big burst of affection at how Alex shouts ABOUT TIME!

Then he gives Willie a quick hug and leaves cause he and the rest of Julie and the Phantoms have to go get set up for their performance.

Since Alex was able to flip Carrie’s hair in All Eyes on Me I’m saying that ghosts can touch lifers if they focus and believe it will happen hard enough, so the ghost gang has developed a system for alerting their non-Julie lifer friends to their presence.

So while they’re waiting in the crowd Willie taps Carrie on the shoulder like: • - - one short tap, two long taps, a Morse code ‘W’ and Carrie lets Flynn know that he’s there.

(Nick can see him too but Nick’s off somewhere with his date {one of his lacrosse teammates you know the one})

Anyway so Julie goes out and starts up the song and then the rest of the band poofs in but

Something’s unusual.

Cause it’s not Luke on the lower main vocals.

It’s

Alex

Singing while he plays the drums and fucking killing it.

Willie totally bluescreens for a second but then when he actually focuses on the lyrics...

It’s a new song about beating the odds and being with the person you love in spite of the challenges that come with them.

And yeah there are Julie elements in there, (and she’s definitely making heart eyes at Luke even as he sticks to backup vocals) because of course there are since she has to start the song up, but

But Willie might not have any formal music training, but he was at the HGC long enough to know his stuff about music and recognize different artists’ styles.

And there’s a time signature switch on the bridge that’s a little off from how Luke would write it. There’s a swing to the melody that’s a bit more ‘pop’ than the band’s usual songs. Julie’s harmony doesn’t go as high as it normally would, as if whoever wrote the song didn’t have as high of an upper range to work with as she does.

The song is so unmistakably Alex that no one else could have written it.

Flynn and Carrie are quietly making smug comments on what they bet his face looks like right now but Willie’s not listening to them.

On the last chorus, Alex fucking winks at him right before poofing out.

Willie has whiplash like how did they go from him having to psych Alex up to break into a museum even when there’s zero chance of getting caught to Alex openly flirting with him from the stage?

He poofs backstage right as the boys get back from dropping their instruments back in the Molinas’ garage and he honestly doesn’t know what he even wants to say to convey how amazing that performance was.

Then Alex just smiles at him.

Alex: So I take it you liked the song?

Willie: Can I kiss you right now?

They both kinda freeze after he blurts that out and Reggie goes wow really quietly before he and Luke poof out to give them some privacy and whoops now they’re both flustered but

Alex: Wow, didn’t expect that. That’s... um, wow. But yeah.

They kiss and it’s a total romcom moment.

And the story’s far from over, but to Willie this definitely feels like happily ever after.

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