#//hope this is okay to move on over here
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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foolish-space-owl · 1 year ago
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@travelers-of-the-multiverse continued from here
The owl demon looks down as the imp weighs his answer and he tried to not look defeated already. He was certain that Blitz would reject him outright. What he'd done was so deplorable before and he wouldn't blame him at all. His head almost snaps up when the imp speaks up again. Hope began to bloom in his chest and he tried to not cry out of relief.
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"Oh... oh, of course! I... I am sorry for that as well. It will not happen again dearest, I promise." He had never meant to insinuate that he was ashamed of the other but he certainly had no idea what to do in that situation.
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moe-broey · 7 months ago
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Adjacent topic, but. One of my favorite things actually is when Alfonse pulls the player aside and is like "Let me think out loud real quick." and when the situation calls for it, "Also what do you think?" Like obviously this happens so much across any game ever, especially ones that have a designated partner character. But it feels so special to me...
Especially with Alfonse, especially when he calls the summoner by name. He didn't used to do that!! In the very beginning!!! And he slips up, as Lif. Trying So hard to take it back. It just feels so personal... 🥲🥺
#i have no greater point here i just like it a lot.#like to me i feel like he has that deep unique bond that the pmd2 partner has w the player#again could just be. two games w a designated partner character. but to me personally how i feel.#like i feel like it's comparable actually esp the way your partner pokemon will pull you aside too#making a point to include you. and also will just talk at you extensively LMFAOO but it's okay 😊💖#but also it just feels SO special and so personal and so rewarding from alfonse in particular.#like this guy did Not want that. he was so scared of that. he's also just one big loss away from feeling like he's lost it all.#one thing about me is that i don't agree. w how he feels about losing friends. i think it's okay. i think it's for the best.#i'm not lonely and sometimes it's a relief. knowing i'll never have to see that person again.#even when there's no hard feelings. even when i geniunely liked that person and they liked me well enough.#i just tell myself it's for the best. they'll move on without me. i'll cherish the memory. i hope they forget me.#but even as i say that it's like. i don't know how true it holds. but i do know it's fine to leave actually.#and i do know i'm not lonely. i've made peace w it a long time ago. i'm content by myself. i keep myself occupied.#meanwhile. i am always obsessing over what alfonse says and what he feels and i feel a DEEP. DEEP SEATED NEED.#to pelt him w rocks. FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤#this is why moe exists. the vessel. to pelt him w rocks.#fe alfonse
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shirogane-oushirou · 2 months ago
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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hoppingjester · 1 year ago
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murdxrxfcrxws continued from here
It was completely unsettling and surprising to hear his own voice come from another's mouth. He tried to not jerk back from the surprise and instead stared in mild wonder at both the bag holding the entire instrument and then also the way she spoke. How... was this possible?
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"Wouldn't say I'm often called a friendly face but hey, I'll take it," he laughed before tilting his head causing the bells on his hat to jingle. "Sooooo, you talk using things you've heard before huh? That's kind of cool."
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daz4i · 11 months ago
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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janiedean · 1 year ago
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will get to all your lovely replies asap but for now let me get down the mood with my usual
fuck but i really do hate this month and everything it represents or better the fact that each single year it gets just more miserable
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sadgirlautumn · 8 months ago
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It genuinely makes me so sad to see people on here get blocked or sent hate anons when the community here is supposed to be a fun place where we can discuss our interests. Some of you need to remember that there’s real people behind these blogs and your actions can hurt them. Arguing with someone on anon literally gets you nowhere and it’s happened time and time again. Please find something else to do rather than spreading hate online.
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cuteniaarts · 9 months ago
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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streetdumpster · 2 years ago
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I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.
#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved#I'm feeling really emotional sorryy#basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself#its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress#I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont.#btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was#so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad#and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life#so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay.#so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy#its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time?#because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right?#but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because#I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life#Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this.#I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like#all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping#Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out?#idk this has been really long im so sorry.#vent#tw vent#tws ->#abuse ment#parents ment#<- in tags
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nagihonos · 2 years ago
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finally got around to watching dragon ball super hero and
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#okay db haters look away 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️#this movie was SO good like it was corny as hell but idgaf i had a fun time!!!!!#gohan using special beam cannon as the final move maybe made me cry a little whos to say?#i like pans little character arc also as an avid pan supporter this movie made me so happy#the only downside was no marron or bulla honestly#everyone was here and had a fun little role. goku and vegeta (love them#only show up for like 5 minutes total and have a post credits scene where vegeta wins in a fight against him#this movie was just fun dragon ball stuff and i hope they continue this tone for the series#i think ill read the trunks goten mini arc now omg#also loooove that krillin is like 'hey remember when u got really big at the world martial arts tournament' and piccolo went 'oh yeah 👍'#*gets really big*#also idk if im just out of the db loop but love the new gohan entomologist lore!#also any krillin/18 content is a win for me!#actually the real downside was the continued propaganda of blue haired trunks. you will never get me to like it <3#also i didnt think id like dr hedo and the gammas but i did! they were fun!! ofc gamma 2 died tho. black racism 🫤 (i watched the dub)#sorry i just needed to get my thoughts on this movie out#anyway this movie just proved that gohan needs to be the main character :)#i just cant get over him ending cell max with fucking SPECIAL BEAM CANNON im crying and screaming not the kamehameha or masenko like!!!!!!#like i know piccolo taught him masenko but theres just something abt sbc okay👍#im so normal im so sane
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victorinoxghoul · 1 year ago
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next month I get to give Eric a new surname n flesh out his backstory more RAHHH
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ragedagainst · 2 years ago
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@taitropa , continued from here !
the dregs are, in many ways, just like the partisans had been at their peak ( before saw had left jyn behind with only a ration pack and a pistol ). small, relatively close ranks, and, for the most part, loyal to each other. there's a part of her that's envious of the relationships they have with each other, the close affection inej has for jesper and nina, and even kaz reminds her a bit too much of what she'd had and what she'd lost. ( for a few seconds, when she's reminded of those years absently, she remembers maia, codo, magva, and saw fondly, warmth expanding outward from underneath her ribcage. and then, when the realization sets in, the reminder of what had truly happened, it all crumbles away. )
navigating through the busy streets of os kervo with a pirate captain at her side, the easy, low stakes camaraderie she has with the other woman is an echo of what she'd once had, but it'll never be more than that. she's spent long years ensuring that her walls stand tall and impenetrable. years ago, she'd have agreed to inej's offer eagerly, looking for anything to ease the sting of saw's betrayal ; now, she deflects the offer with only the barest passing of regret.
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" i don't think you'd particularly enjoy having me on your ship full time, wraith, " jyn replies with a flash of teeth, but her words come easy, almost teasing. for all the respect she has for inej and the life she's created for herself, jyn doesn't think she'd enjoy spending weeks on end trapped on a tiny ship. " though, by the looks of it, you might need the extra muscle. some of these merchants look as if they want to take you down in the middle of the street. "
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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My mother really out here telling me “you just make all the plans for driving and I’ll work around that” and then a couple days later once I’ve made plans and talked to people about shit she’s like hey actually you should come up a day earlier so you can get your grandparents (who are practically falling apart mentally and physically and my grandfather pisses himself and if he pees in the car that I am both sleeping and driving in I will be upset!!!) in the middle of Maine and drive them to New Hampshire for me bc I will be too tired from getting a three hour flight to go drive them :’( AS IF IM NOT DRIVING SIX HOURS OR MORE EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK HELLO??? YOU CANT DRIVE FIVE HOURS AFTER SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME ON A THREE HOUR FLIGHT LIKE I KNOW ITS CRAMPED AND MISERABLE BUT YOU’RE GOING TO GO FROM A PLANE TO A NICE RENTAL CAR VS ME SLEEPING IN THE FUCKING TRUNK FOR A WEEK LIKE GIRL WHAT YOU ALREADY TOLD ME TO PLAN EVERYTHING AND NOW YOU’RE MOVING SHIT AROUND AND SHES ALL LIKE “well your aunt is gonna be visiting on the 11th so I have to get a flight on the 12th and then graduation is on the 13th early in the morning so I just won’t have time to go get them” LIKE GIRL THIS IS THE SAME AUNT THAT IS COMING TO OUR HOUSE FOR ONE SINGULAR DAY AND THEN WE WILL SEE HER AGAIN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE WHILE WE ARE ON OUR TRIP LIKE YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME “oh don’t worry about missing her we’re gonna do the graduation party at her house when we’re up north” AND THEN YOU WONT SHIFT YOUR PLANS ONE DAY TO FIX ALL OF THE SCHEDULING CONFLICTS BUT YOU WANT ME TO TWEAK A WHOLE WEEK OF DRIVING PLANS BACK A DAY TO MAKE IT MORE CONVENIENT FOR YOU and also I simply don’t want to. Also the garbage truck just passed bc I slept in and I don’t think we got the garbage out and I know we definitely didn’t get the trash from my room or bathroom out of the house and so now moms gonna be pissed at me for that god fuck this is so infuriating I am not planning a trip while on my period ever again I want to bite my mothers head off for even suggesting an alternate plan what is wrong with me I am such a bitch what the fuck no wonder she fucking hates me okay I am going back to bed she can figure this shit out later when she’s not slamming doors and yelling about work
#I want to rip my hair out#why does she say yeah we can work around whatever plans you make and then immediately she’s like oh haha nevermind#and I know I’m overreacting I know I’m being a bitch and I should fold to my mothers needs or whatever but like simply put I don’t want to#deal with my grandparents (if they were dwarves in Snow White they would be called Naggy and Pissy) and I don’t want to deal with their huge#looming sense of dread bc they both know they are old and losing it and that their kids are dead and we are the only family they care about#and I was already nervous about spending any time with them at graduation and now my mom wants me alone in a car with them for HOURS#like I simply don’t want to and I don’t want to think about dad and I don’t want to think about them and I don’t want to drive the extra#hours or anything like ugh I just don’t want to. I want to get high on Millie’s couch and have a relaxing day after driving that much on the#way up and I want to only have to drive three hours to my brother and I want ti already be there for graduation that morning I don’t want to#go any earlier or later than I had planned bc I planned distances by how much driving I thought I could take at a time and If I add an extra#day of driving I will be exhausted and add emotional exhaustion to that from seeing family and add fucking bitchy mood and being judged on#my music or my driving or being asked about what I plan to do with my life or what have I been doing since dad died or are you okay? is your#mother struggling? (and not being able to talk about my mom going out and dating and getting laid and ignoring my dead father and their dead#son bc it’s the only way she’s coping with any of this anymore)#I just don’t want to. and I hope my mother will step up and change her shit to deal with them but if they don’t I’ll have to deal with it#and just get over it but fuck I really really really don’t want to#it just annoys me that my mother would rather move all of my plans back a day than not see my aunt for what six hours here when we’re#literally going to see her up north like five days later#like can’t you just wait to see her. like she has seen the house before. she knows what a screened in patio looks like. they’ve seen the car#before like they will know if they want the car or not before they see it they know the model and they know it’s sat in our driveway for#months and months like they are aware of the car so you don’t need to say that’s the big important reason for them to visit#I’m such an asshole what the fuck is wrong with me I’m really unwilling to have any changes made to my plans#my brother would fucking bend over backwards and do whatever my mother asks and she is so mad that I’m not like that and I should be why am#I not like that why don’t I do all the shit she does for me why am I such a bitch what is wrong with me#I am already exhausted today I only slept for four hours#I just want to skip to me being on the road already. need to smoke a cigarette at a truck stop out of state it will fix me honestly
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face-breaker · 2 months ago
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@byanyan asked:
at what point they fell asleep, they're not really sure. something about the movement of the car must have been enough to lull tired eyes closed though, because the next thing they know, a shove at their shoulder sends their loose body toppling against the door and results in their head slamming against the solid glass of the window with a painful thud. it's an extremely rude awakening that has them instinctively whipping their arm out to hit their attacker back with all the strength they can manage in such a confined space. " what the fuck?! "ㅤwords hissed out between clenched teeth, byan cradles the side of their head with their free hand and shoots cassidy a withering glare through a curtain of dark hair.ㅤ" you trynna make sure i stay unconscious so you can carry me up to lena's door an' pretend like we're suddenly buddies, or somethin'? jesus fuckin' christ. "ㅤtongue sharp as ever despite the way their head throbs, the teen spits another string of profanity, pulling their backpack up from the floor and into their lap.ㅤ" a nudge would do, asshole. was only out for like ten goddamn minutes! "ㅤ(look... i haven't stopped laughing about this entire idea since u mentioned it, okay...)
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The key is pulled from the ignition and dropped into a cup holder after coming to a stop in front of Lena's flat, Colton taking a moment to sit back in the driver's seat and glance over at Byan. Who evidently fell asleep at some point in the ride.
He's sure they needed it — after the night they had.
Between getting ruffled and tussled by those wannabe THUGS and the verbal beatdown from the bartender himself once they got back to the bar, tonight was...a lot. A bit more than they can chew evidently, seeing as Colt had to step out there himself and practically save the kid — though he's sure they would never agree to using that terminology to describe how tonight went. Even after their little heart to heart...
He finally nudges a few fingers into their shoulder, with no response. A few more seconds pass by before a hand moves again to give them a possibly excessive SHOVE — a bit of that passive aggression evidently still in his system from earlier.
The bartender chuckles first at their retaliation, then again at their suggestion, the little trick to get on Lena's GOOD SIDE. "Hey, that idea ain't half bad!" he admits, jokingly raising a fist and bucking towards them as if preparing to swing. But he quickly waves them off with a shake of his head, relaxing back into his seat before folding his arms across his chest. He figures they've seen enough of that tonight.
"Go on, I already called Lena an' let her know..." he huffs, gaze straying a moment before falling back to the kid with what could possibly pass as a bit of sympathy.
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" — let her know that you fell asleep at th'bar. An'...I was waitin' t'close up shop t'bring you home." Which...was partially true. He did drag them back to the bar so he could properly close up — and they did end up eventually falling asleep, just not at the bar. So he only felt partially bad for lying about it. "Keep ice on that thing for th'night, might keep it from bruisin' — might keep her off your back for a bit."
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