#//he's a little confused but he's got the spirit i think
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5#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.
dear y/n.
heyy cutie.. i hope you like the gifts i got you. i know this isn’t the easiest way to communicate, but it's the only way right now. things have gotten.. complicated. i don't have much time to spare.
i’m writing this quickly and short, because things are moving fast, and i need to make sure you understand what’s going on. things are about to get messy, i know it, so i’m doing what i can to keep it all from falling apart.
the whole thing with the transport barrier and the crowd of civilians, none of that was going to be easy. but i didn’t.. fully expect this. i mean.. i did, but you know what i mean. i didn’t expect the king of cursed spirits to come together like this, or for the sheer fucking chaos that would unfold once sukuna was set loose.
and if anyone is going to deal with him, it’s got to be me. it always had to be me.
i’m doing this because it’s necessary, because i need to, and if anyone is going to deal with him, it’s got to be me. it’ll always be me. you’ll understand when the time comes. hopefully the students will explain.
i know you’ve always believed in me, hell, i’ve built my whole persona around being the unbeatable, invincible sorcerer. but i’ve learned something over the years: no matter how strong you are, no matter how much you try to control everything around you, there are things that will always get away from you. and i’ve come to terms with the fact that sukuna isn’t someone i can just 'neutralize' in the usual way. this time, it’s different. this fight’s different. and if i’m being honest, part of me knew that from the very beginning.
i’m sorry for the things i never told you. i’m sorry for the times i acted like everything was a joke, like i was invincible and nothing could hurt me. i didn’t want you to see how often i was just faking it, pretending like i had all the answers. the truth is, there were moments where i was terrified. terrified of the responsibility, terrified of what would happen if i ever failed. so i did what i always do, i covered it with jokes, with ridiculous stunts, and by being 'the strongest.' it was easier that way, wasn’t it? easier for me, easier for everyone else.
but i guess that’s where i was wrong. you deserved more than that. you deserved to see all the versions of me. so, for all the times i let you down, for all the times i acted like i wasn’t just as scared and confused as anyone else.. i’m sorry. really, i am.
the truth is, i’ve never really had a plan for how to handle all this. the higher-ups wanted me to handle everything, like i was some kind of god who could solve all their problems. but i’ve always known the world’s broken, y/n. it’s always been broken. and now, it’s my turn to do something about it. even if i don’t come back from this, at least i’ll know i gave it everything i had.
sukuna isn’t just some 'big bad guy' for me to beat. he’s the only thing standing in the way of everything. i can’t just let him continue. i can’t let him tear down what little everyone managed to hold down together. and if that means putting myself on the line.. then so be it. it’s what i have to do.
i don’t expect you to understand fully, but i need you to know this: if something happens, if i don’t make it back, just know that i’m okay with it. this was always the risk. i’ve always known that. but i want you to keep going. i want you to keep fighting. you’ve got the strength to carry on. i wouldn’t have left if I didn’t believe that, you already know that baby.
so, if something happens to me, if i don’t come back, please, don’t let it break you. keep going. keep fighting. and don’t forget that i did what i know was the best choice. i don’t have regrets about the choices i made. i just regret that it had to end this way.
i don’t know how to say goodbye, and i don’t want to. but whenever this is it, i need you to know that i love you more than i ever thought i could, i didn't really think i could love anyone after suguru. you were my greatest love. and i’m sorry i never got to say that to your face one last time.
anyways, i’m rambling now. just know this.. if i don’t make it back, i’m grateful for every second we had, for everything. you’ve meant more to me than you know.
from, your glorious blue eyed king.
p.s. take care of yourself. keep your head up. and don’t forget baby, i was the strongest. and i hope your heart will be the strongest to stomach all this.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x gn!reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen x you#jjk satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#love#love notes#love letters#angst#jjk angst#jujustu kaisen angst#jjkangst#gojo death#seraphina's letters ✎
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There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part thirteen]
Summary: Azriel attends dinner. The skies provide a bit of comfort, if perhaps not clarity.
Word Count: 4.2k
Warnings: angst, yearning, betrayal, lying, slight deceit, Elain attempting to court Azriel, miscommunication, intentional miscommunication, conflicting emotions, Eowyn in a bad place and Azriel doesn't know what to do
a/n: its been a long minute and I sincerely apologize for that! i got busy around halloween and then with the election results I was just... too upset and disappointed to do anything. but fear not, i haven't completely lost my mojo! sorry for the delay and the slight heartbreak, i promise its gonna get better, it just needs to get a little worse (oops!), also a special shoutout to those that reached out to me to make sure I'm still alive and doing well, thank you guys so much it really means a lot to me <3
Minors, do not interact.
part twelve
masterlist
"She's been loop-the-looping around my mind
Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of
Acrobatic blood, concertina
Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire"
- Arctic Monkeys, She's Thunderstorms
He notes, if perhaps a bit absentmindedly— as he tries his very best to focus on anything but the growing nervousness in the pit of his stomach— that he’s never quite looked at himself in a mirror for this long.
His clothes weren’t too much to cry about, a simple buttoned up black shirt tailor made to accommodate not only his size but his wings as well, and his black pants were casual if perhaps a little more formal than his usual clothes. He couldn’t well go to dinner with Eowyn in his leathers.
He huffed as he adjusted the simple silver cufflinks on his sleeve, reminding himself once again that it was a casual dinner with friends in a group setting, it wasn’t a date, but the thought of sitting with her, sharing a meal with her— he wouldn’t allow himself to linger on the thought of fixing her plate for her unless he wanted his pants to tighten uncomfortably for the rest of the evening (considering he had no time to take care of the issue before dinner)— and what’s more, to possibly have the opportunity to see what she hides behind her veil made the tingles of nervousness to bite at him once again.
Fixing his hair, although he only pushed it from one side to the other and then pushed it back in frustration when it didn’t fall the way he wanted it, he pulled himself away from his reflection, figuring there was nothing more he could do and finally slipped out into the hall towards the dining area.
Before he could hear the people in the room, his shadows rushed back to him, reporting on Cassian, Nesta, and Gwyn’s attendance but not yet Eowyn’s. Figuring it was best if he came in before she did, lest she think he was late, he calmly strode in and nodded in greeting at his friends who cheered upon seeing him, already seeming a few glasses into the wine.
“Am I late?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, finding himself in a rather pleasant mood, if not to say excited.
“Just in time,” Cassian assured him good-naturedly but Azriel needed to only spare him a glance to notice there was something only slightly off about his brother. Unlike Nesta and Gwyn who seemed in rather bright spirits as they both went into the kitchen to bring more wine, Cassian didn’t seem to be drinking at all, his face a little more serene than usual.
“Surprised you agreed to this,” Cassian admitted to him when the girls were out of earshot.
“Why?” Azriel shook his head, as he took a seat, directly in front of his brother to leave them both room for their wings.
“I just.. didn’t think you were interested in her,” Cassian admitted, much to Azriel’s confusion. Hadn’t Cassian been the one pushing Eowyn and Azriel to train together, hadn’t he been the one to gossip to Rhys about his feelings, feelings he could barely even admit to himself, having been so hurt so often by his choices— and he was surprised?
But before Azriel could answer him, Gwyn and Nesta came back in, not yet tipsy but seeming just a little lighter than usual. Their light idle chatter filled the space as they set the items down, followed by the feast the house thoughtfully spawned out for them.
Nesta immediately took her seat at the head of the table to Cassian’s right, leaving her between Cassian and himself, while Gwyn sat on the one directly next to Azriel. He tried to not be bothered by it and the fact that it would leave Eowyn in the seat diagonal to him.
Gwyn grinned widely, if perhaps a bit abashedly at him as she placed the bottle down on the table.
With that action came the realization that the table only had four sets of silverware.
“Here, try this,” he looked up to find a blushing Gwyn gently stacking a small cracker with a creamy spread and thin cold cut of meat for him to try. He felt himself go pale at the forward act.
Food sharing was sacred among fae. No female shared food, especially directly feeding anyone that wasn’t already part of their families. This was solely an act of courtship, something he truly didn’t want to entertain, despite the way he’d seen Gwyn’s eyes following him wherever he went.
Azriel felt at a loss, not knowing how to proceed. What if in an attempt to spare Gwyn’s feelings, he accepted the food and gave her the wrong idea? What if Eowyn walked in and thought the same thing? But what if he disrespected Gwyn’s kind act by rejecting her and ruining the entire dinner?
Since when did he overthink things so much?
“I— thank you,” he tried to smile graciously, but both the words and his facial expression gave away his awkwardness.
His shadows flurried around him in offense at her forwardness.
He took the offered food from her, careful not to touch her as he did and took a small bite.
She watched him with wide expectant eyes. “What do you think?”
“It’s… good,” he cleared his throat to fill the silence.
“Thank you,” she blushed harder, either from his response or out of embarrassment, he wasn’t sure.
“You ladies cook all of this yourselves?” Cassian saved him, the mood lifting with his playful incredulity as he raised a suspicious eyebrow at his mate.
“We had help,” Nesta rolled her eyes.
“We?” He continued to tease, causing Gwyn to laugh lightly, eyes sparkling in glee despite the lingering awkwardness from her interaction with Azriel.
“Nesta made a beautiful layout,” Gwyn defended, waving a hand over the board containing a variety of cheeses, cold meats, and spreads. “Wynnie helped us with a few side dishes and I roasted the chicken and vegetables,” she grinned proudly.
Azriel felt his heart leap at the sound of her name. It offered him the perfect segue to ask about her.
“When is she coming? Is she alright?”
They all turned to look at him and several things happened all at once.
Azriel wondered for a brief second how anyone thought he could make a living out of noticing those kinds of things. He was supposed to be a Spymaster, for Cauldron’s sake! He was supposed to be aware of everything in every room all at once, and yet he hadn’t noticed— or perhaps, he’d willingly chosen to ignore— that which was so glaringly obvious the second he stepped into the dining room: Eowyn wasn’t here.
Still, all he could do was gather all at once every intake of breath, the barely noticeable gasp leaving Nesta’s lips, the twitch to Gwyn’s jaw and the way her gaze dropped— every minuscule movement everyone in the room made at any given point to give away something they were hiding. Seeking what they knew.
All at once he noticed the way Cassian’s head snapped up to look at his mate, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that spoke of both accusation and betrayal. Gwyn, who was filling a plate either for him or herself froze in place and focused on the plate for a second before looking up at him with something akin to betrayal in her gaze, while Nesta merely stopped chewing on her own bite of cheese and cracker for a second before continuing her slow mastication, gray eyes set firmly on the food she was piling on her plate.
“Eowyn isn’t joining us tonight,” she said simply, all wine playfulness gone.
“Why not?” he couldn’t help but snarl under his breath and this felt much too familiar, much like when he’d snapped at Gwyn the night before as she told him Eowyn’s decision to stop training with him.
“Well, she… said she didn’t want to intrude,” this time Gwyn spoke up, seeming recovered enough to speak although her tone was more questioning than telling. He turned to her and noticed the pink tinge to her cheeks and the glow in her eye was gone, replaced by a paleness to her skin and a distant countenance. “She helped with dinner, but said she didn’t want to be a fifth wheel on our double date.”
He remained silent at that, head blank despite his boiling blood.
“I see,” he spoke stiltedly after a minute of silence.
The tension in the room could be cut with even the dullest of blades and yet there was nothing anyone could do to bring back the lightness. Gwyn, seeming recovered enough, straightened her back and jutted out her chin. “You came because you thought she would be here?” She confirmed, although they all knew at that point it wasn’t necessary.
Azriel had made it clear to all at this point without needing to say a single word that he cared about Eowyn. Everyone knew. It wasn’t a secret he was trying to keep, he cared about her, that much they all knew. Just how much he cared, he was only starting to figure out himself.
“Yes,” he replied simply yet honestly, wanting nothing more than to get up and leave the room and possibly hunt Eowyn down and demand an explanation.
He thought back to the conversation they’d had that day, attempting to recall her wording.
She’d told him the girls were making dinner and asked if he wanted to join. He wanted to both kick himself for not confirming her presence and scold her for not correcting him when he said he’d see her at dinner. Wanted to rip his own heart out to justify the unrelenting pressure on his chest.
“You love her,” again, she stated rather than asked.
Azriel remained silent however, and that was all anyone needed to know.
—
He considered going straight to the library and storming into her office to demand an apology, but most importantly, an explanation for her clear deception.
After the disastrous dinner he’d been blindsided into joining (a rather brief encounter) he found himself taking to the skies instead, needing to clear his head.
He considered everything that had happened in the last few days, or rather, the last few months of his life.
He flew for hours, relishing in the exertion on his back, the soreness of his cold wings, but all he could think about, every possible thought he had, always led back to her and how she’d crept her way into his life
He’d found her…interesting at first, that he couldn’t deny.
He’d always noticed a quiet spark under those captivating black eyes, a certain knowing look that was both thrilling and challenging in a way few dared to look at him with. She was a breath of fresh air and she was a mystery to him, and the more time they spent together and the more he uncovered the layers that made her her, the more he grew immeasurable fond of her.
He’d sworn, after his brief disappointing fling with Elain, that he would not allow himself to fall in yet another pit of unrequited love.
He’d sworn off females for the sake of his growing desperation for belonging, for a mate, and he’d given up on seeking it and trying to force it to happen with females that were either uninterested in him entirely but were too kind to tell him straight off, or were barely interested in something short while and empty.
That had not been the same with Eowyn. Mostly because his interest in her wasn’t based off of his attraction to her (at least at first) but derived from a curiosity that might’ve remained friendly if not slightly distant had they not spent almost every day together, training in the morning and as of more recently, spending a few hours together in the few and far between occasions he wasn’t needed elsewhere.
He had subconsciously sought her out every instance he could, and while the itch to see her hadn’t come to him all at once, it was undeniable and ever present now.
While he was self-aware enough to admit that his attraction to her hadn’t spawned in a day, but through the small intimacies shared, the trust and friendship they’d built, as there wasn’t anything licentious rooted in their relationship. He hadn’t salivated after her like some kind of beast, hadn’t even considered crossing any lines with her that went beyond their respective roles as trainer and trainee, for despite the fact that priestesses in Prythian weren’t generally considered pious and virginal maidens, these priestesses were special.
This group of females resided there to stay away from males lusting after them.
Eowyn was never outwardly flirtatious and outspoken, but she was also not meek and docile.
She was like an impending storm, she was the anticipation between a bolt of lighting and its following thunder. And like a raging rainstorm that had begun in the furthest distance, raging closer with a speed that bade it impossible to escape yet took it’s righteous time to flank him entirely, the tempest was upon him now and despite his careful precautions, he was now caught amidst its chaos and found he never wanted to leave after witnessing its splendor.
He cared not about mates, not anymore.
He didn’t even care if she didn’t want him the way he wanted her, he simply found he couldn’t be without her. It was beyond the fact that no one truly understood him like she did, no, it wasn’t about him. It was about the privilege of knowing someone like her.
He’d had a taste of divinity every time he was near her, and he didn’t know how he would go on if he could no longer be by her side, in whatever way she wanted him.
He couldn’t be selfish, not when it came to her. He didn’t know what had been done to her, didn’t know if she was interested in males, interested in him, but he would never expect anything of her. Not when it came to that.
In his roiling thoughts, he wondered if he’d come off too intensely in their last few meetings. He wondered if he’d scared her off by hovering over as close as he could to hear about her well-being. He wondered if… wondered if his pathetic attempt to kiss her had made her think he was an animal of a male who sought nothing more than sex.
He wondered if she cared about him even half as much as he cared about her.
With his jumbled hurt and angry thoughts that merely circled and intertwined in his mind, he found no answers to his growing list of questions and doubts. He was, however, exhausted after flying for five hours straight, and found he couldn’t feel properly surprised when the shadows he’d left behind to guard the library entrance rushed to tell him Eowyn was waiting in the greenhouse.
She sat with her legs crossed on top of a sturdy windowsill at the furthest wall, looking outside with her back to the entrance.
He bit his tongue to hold back from scolding her for it, for her lack of precaution and safety.
“You’re angry,” she stated, rather than asked.
Not wanting to risk snapping at her and driving her further away, he remained silent.
She sighed at his lack of response and twisted around to face him, although it accomplished nothing as he noted that despite her loose hair, her face was still covered entirely so that he couldn’t even see her eyes.
“I would be too,” she continued.
“Would you,” he snarled through his teeth.
“Yes,” she replied immediately, latching onto his response, “I would. Because what I did was idiotic and insensitive—“
“Don’t do that,” he cut her off, “don’t try to empathize with me by putting yourself down.”
She stilled and her back straightened, suddenly looking away and he noticed for the first time that she sat next to Thelxie, and that the once bright and proud flora now dropped sadly at her side, wilting.
She turned to him fully then, legs hanging over the side, back straight and if he could see her eyes, he knew he would see them looking straight at him.
She only gave him a brief nod before speaking. “Ask your questions then.”
Again, he was faced with the closed off and cold Eowyn. He narrowed his eyes at her in disbelief, a pang of guilt and self-deprecation eating at him as he watched her put her true mask on and push him away. For a second, she’d acted like herself, if perhaps layering it on rather thick to get on his good side, but could he not even express justified anger at her clear betrayal without her slinking back into a shell of who she was?
The anger that had been directed at her suddenly turned inward and he chastised himself for it, for he knew better than to allow a blinding and useless emotion such as anger get in the way. He breathed deeply and tried to let the rise of emotions ease into a steady stream.
“Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t,” she replied, her voice cool and tempered and he realized that in the few seconds it had taken him to calm himself down, she had used that time to do the same and strengthen the walls she erected around herself. Dammit. “Everything I told you about my father— about myself, is true-“
“Not that,” the wave of anger tacked him yet he relented against it, for he’d had much time to think and he now came to realize that although she’d clearly made rather important omissions to her story, she had been truthful in everything she’d shared. Intimacy like that could not be fabricated. “You think you’re so clever, inviting me to dinner with Nesta and Gwyn and not correcting me when I said I’d see you there?”
She remained silent for a beat and he knew, without seeing her face, that she was gaping at him. “I- technically, that’s not a lie—“
“Eowyn,” he snapped.
She sighed, “I’ve no excuse for that,” she spoke quickly and sharply, “that was just me being a coward and not wanting to explain everything after training, and, well-“ she turned her head to look at her plant, gathered herself and spoke with the same speed, if perhaps a bit stiltedly, “Gwyn likes you. That’s all I would hear, every time I came back to myself from those horrible visions. She was by my side and she would tell me you were waiting outside the library walls, always so attentive and caring, and always so kind to her and anyone that would share a bit of news of your dear friend, and she asked me if I— if it would bother me if she asked you to dinner, and why would it? She’s the kindest fae I’ve ever met, she’s brilliant, she’s funny and sweet and beautiful and you deserve nothing less—“
“Eowyn—”
“-and I know I should’ve asked you first,” she nodded quickly, hands fidgeting in her lap, “I know I should’ve, but I was so weary… so tired, and I didn’t want to talk about what the herbalist said, and I just wanted you to give you both… an opportunity.”
If he thought his emotions were jumbled before, they were nothing but a mere puddle in the raging ocean within him now. “Eowyn, that wasn’t your decision to make,” he stated simply, unable to hold his words back, even as she nodded again and hung her head, “do you think I don’t know how she looks at me? You think my shadows don’t keep me aware of her reactions— of anyone’s reactions to me? I’ve been the target of people’s lust just as often as I’ve been the object of their hatred, their fear and disgust. I don’t mean to sound arrogant,” he frowned, feeling uncomfortable speaking in such a haughty way, “but if I wanted Gwyn, I would be with her. She is not the one I want.”
Eowyn gripped the windowsill tightly, her back ramrod straight. “You’re right,” she spoke after a moment of silence, “I’m sorry for deceiving you and for just— going about this all wrong. I should’ve asked you. She should’ve asked you without me being in the middle, but she thought she could trust me and I went and fucked it all up.”
“She should have asked me herself,” he found himself agreeing, listening to her breath as it halted for a beat longer, her only tell in an otherwise unmoved reaction. “That way, I would’ve been clear that I have no interest in her.”
“Right,” she murmured, sufficiently agreeably if perhaps dismissively, “are we not going to talk about the pegasus in the room?”
And while he wanted to push and prod at her to understand why she was actively trying to push him onto her friend after their own day together in the obsidian cave, he knew the subject could not be ignored for much longer.
“Are you a witch?”
She sighed. “It’s complicated,” she pushed herself off her seat and paced in front of him, one hand resting on her hip while they other pinched the bridge of her nose, “everything I told you about myself is true, I haven’t lied about that, but—“
“Are you a witch?” He repeated.
“Yes,” she snapped, and stopped pacing for a second before she continued, “or I was. I don’t have access to my power anymore.”
His eyebrows furrowed at that, “why not?” And while he was at it, “and why didn’t you tell me?”
“Out of safety,” she turned to him and he couldn’t see her face but he knew that if he could she would be looking at him with incredulity. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t have told your High Lord I’m a witch the second you knew? As a matter of fact, why haven’t I received a visit from the High Lord?” She crossed her arms and looked around as if Rhys would spawn out of thin air.
He frowned at her. “I haven’t told him, and I find it quite offensive you’d suggest otherwise.”
“Is it?” She tilted her head, “don’t you ‘live to serve’?”
His frown deepened, not liking her tone, “don’t use my own words against me.”
“Oh that’s right,” she continued, “you needed to confirm with me first, right? Well go ahead and tell him what you want, it’s not like I’d be of any use to him anyway. I have no way to access my powers even if I wanted to.”
“Stop that,” he scolded, “stop trying to antagonize me.”
“I’m not,” she snapped, suddenly standing before him with her arms crossed over her chest, chin tilted up and he knew that her obsidian eyes were looking straight at him, “I’m simply stating the truth, and if I’m being entirely honest, I don’t blame you: having a witch at your disposal would’ve been helpful during the fight with Hybern but unfortunately for you, there was nothing I could’ve done to help you.”
“I haven’t told Rhys,” he repeated, needing her to understand that. “I wouldn’t.”
“But you thought about it,” it wasn’t a reproach, it was a statement of fact. She knew him well enough to know his duty always came first to him. He was a soldier, he was a warrior and not only was he loyal to his High Lord based on his unfaltering belief in him, but he also held an innate sense of pride in his Court that was as deep-rooted as it was repressed, having been an outcast to his own homeland. Eowyn knew him well enough to know he would have at least briefly considered going to Rhysand.
“It’s fine,” she repeated, almost to herself as if it were a mantra, “Not many… know about that. Only Clotho and now you, but I’m-” she sighed and shook her head, “I’m not who you think I am.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” He took a step forward but stopped when she took a step back.
“I just told you,” she snapped again, but it no longer sounded as firm and decisive as before. “No one knows. No one is supposed to know, and if you knew even half of what I used to be… of what they all expect me to be, you wouldn’t be having this pleasant little conversation with me.”
“Then tell me,” and although his tone was firm, it was out of desperation and need more than anger and frustration. “Nothing you can tell me will change what I know-”
“You-”
“—because I know you and don’t you dare say I don’t. I know you, Eowyn-”
“No, you-“
“I do,” he insisted, refusing to let her cut him off, “I may not know all the details of what you’ve done or what you’ve been through,” and when he stepped towards her that time she didn’t pull away, so he gently took one of her hands and held it between them, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles in a soothing caress, “but I know who you are.”
She remained silent and said nothing more for a long moment before pulling her hand away from his.
“I’m sorry… for what happened today,” she began and the way she collected herself and shifted slightly, looking over his shoulder and towards the door told him she had not and would not budge on the subject, “it was a mistake.”
taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel , @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland , @adventure-awaits13 ,
#acotar#azriel#azriel fanfic#azriel fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel x ofc#acosf#acowar#azriel acotar#azriel x eowyn#eowyn isn't a bad friend#she just isn't the best at communicating#azriel x oc#there'd better be a mirrorball#yearning#angst#heartbreak#azriel doesn't want gwyn or elain#what's wrong with eowyn?#azriel x witch!oc
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late night adventures `๑🍻
swerve x gn! human bartender headcanons /
i need more of this adorable little guy.
sfw / suggestive under the cut.
"wait a minute. you gotta go to academy to make drinks?!"
you end up on the lost light completely by convenience. sure, cybertronians haven't exactly gotten the best reputation - a waging war following wherever they migrated wasn't pleasing for the planets caught in between a billion years of conflict. still, you're tired of working in a shitty bar with shitty customers and shitty pay.
while brainstorm first suggested to find a way to mass displace you (which you tend to just tune out his plans because he makes zero sense), the crew has settled on just making you a mech suit. it's not boxy, fitted for your frame. you don't have a helmet on because the mechs like to look at you.
kind of like a zoo animal exhibit to be honest. look, the alien in the tin can can speak!
you quickly develop some favorites. tailgate is adorable and cyclonus is terrifying but warms up to you over a few months. rewind is chatty. rodimus is.. rodimus. whirl has his charm and you love to hear skids ramble.
but who you really click with?
swerve.
my god he is OBSESSED. a human? on board? in his lifetime? at HIS bar?
it's even better once he learns you share interests.
you talk about your experience as a bar tender and yap his audials until he's melting. he loves it though.
he finds it interesting all the personal touches humanity tends to do for drinks.
like little fruits in fancy cups? burning a glass just for the fun of it?
"do you ever experiment with drinks?"
"well, yeah. to an extent."
"huh. do your customers sometimes offline for a lil?"
"... no honey i don't think they ever have."
please help him convince ultra magnus to include their trades for wines and spirits.
sometimes he lets you get behind the bar top.
he gets posted at your side and gushes like a goof. he finds the way you're able to talk and make drinks very, very impressive.
he learns to make drinks for you over time.
the first time you kind of gag and he freaks out, but you just end up patting his helm and choking out it's alright, he just gave his drink some extra kick.
HOOO. that is LIQUOR sir.
"what's wrong, starshine? feeling nervous?"
so. swerve isn't much of a flirt funnily enough. mechs laugh at his jokes and he's gotten some great connections, but not nearly the time to actually go out of his way (or shell) to banter like that.
it doesn't help that not a lot take him seriously. :(
when you talk to him about the culture of bartending, you joke about whether or not he had to sweet-talk his frequenters for tips and such.
he looks so confused.
"huh? why would i? you come to a bar to.. drink. right?"
oh boy.
you laugh though pat his shoulder when he gives that tiny pout of his. and you have the brilliant idea to show him what you mean.
it turns into a bet. if you can casanova the armor of em you win! and he'll get to see you in your full element. that means one night, human bartending - which drags in a HUGE crowd.
swerve bumps into mech after mech, shooting a lazy set of finger guns before knocking his way up to the bar. why was it never this busy when he was tending?
maybe he should hire the human. they certainly got some flair. for business purposes, of course. not like he's been thinking about them in the middle of the night staring up at the ceiling still as a statue. that would be weird. and creepy.
is it hot in here? it's definitely hot.
he eases himself on a stool. it feels funny being on the receiving end for once.
imagine his surprise when he spots you effortlessly zipping around, making drinks and finding him in the crowd! that look in your smaller optics sparkle and he feels the ship shift. is he having a spark attack? maybe premature crisis.
"hiya, handsome. the regular?"
he doesn't even look down at the glass you set before him, but it's his favorite engex mix and you remember, you remember what he likes. frag. you are a real sparkthrob.
"haha, already starting with the show, huh? you're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna prove your point."
it doesn't take a detective to sense how nervous he sounds. or an magnifying glass, because his gaze is a little focused on where your aft would be. your mech suit is real nice. there's orange and yellow accents, dark coal mesh barely visible between rivets of armor.
sometimes in the shower he thinks about how you'd look as a cybertonian. you'd probably be just as hot.
hot galaxy babe. ha. so he's a hopeless romantic and a xenophile.
"you're my favorite customer, swervey. just admit it feels nice to be pampered. big, hard-working mech deserves a little treat now and then."
then you toss that impish look over your shoulder, shaking two steel mixers together. the motion is standard. up, down, up down, up down, shake shake.
your grip is firm and confident on the equipment. your fingers can't really fit fully around the circumference.
he gulps.
"y-you're not slick. nuh-uh-uh. takes a lot more than saucy words from a pretty thing to get this motor running."
"oh. so you'd like me to demonstrate? i am a hands-on learner."
"this kind of talk wouldn't fly around here for long, sweetspark. makes me kind of jealous - you doing this for all the crew? cause i gotta tell you, there's some reaaaal bastards--"
thank primus it's loud in here. you don't help you know, tipping over the bar with a wry grin.
something pops into his mouth. an energon cube. raw.
"then it's good i just like teasing you."
you slide down about four drinks along the metallic table. swerve wonders if love at first sight is truly like the movies.
"tell you what. these drinks? on the house. and if you stick around.. i can teach you some chemistry outside of just making a damned good cocktail."
steam whistles out his vents.
..........
yeah. you won.
#swerve x reader#first contact au#mtmte x reader#tf mtmte#swerve transformers#swerve tf#headcanons#transformers x reader#transformers idw#maccadam#mtmte#transformers
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you really never should have told wesker about that new study on human pheramones, now you're going to be stuck there a while...
suggestive image + drabble below! tag: A R M P I T, wesker with CHEST HAIR, shirtless. no bad smells :>
i think he's got this whole flirting thing a little confused... but he's got the spirit
can he really help it when you're so crass? how very obvious of you; so primitive. consider it a test and a punishment. or should it be a reward, considering how you flush so cutely? you think he's going to let you go now that he's pinned down a weakness? you really are such a naive little thing.
keep squirming. it's feeding his ego.
he didn't pick up on pheramones when he was fully human, but the idea that you might is certainly worthy of avenues of study. his roots are deep in research, after all. everyone's a little different... but how different are you?
anyways, he smells mostly of soap and a little like cologne and a lot like him, but it's pleasant and... and dizzying. when did he get so compelling? is this another strange uroboros thing?
#albert wesker#wesker#resident evil#albert wesker x reader#tw suggestive#suggestive#I don't have context for any of these I'm just going hog wild#these are purely selfish and have NO plot. and I am going insane.#/dev/art/#nsft
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HELLO! (points directly at url)
the stitchwraith is made by phineas taggart - a guy who wasnt incapable of feeling emotions (or something equivalent to that) and he loves to expiriment with agony, so he got acouple of items - including an ella doll, if youve read 1:35 am you mightve recognised him as a little cameo (he speaks to plants, and even called the creation of the stitch his own tin man, hes funny, i think tumblr wouldve loved him) and dies the moment the stitchwraith comes alive
the stitchwraith is compromised of two spirits: jake and andrew
jake was a 9 year old boy who had cancer and is the protagonist in the 6th books 2nd story the real jake, its important to note that his father, while away at war iirc, had a small doll that would speak to jake every night, hidden behind a closet, and jake would tell the doll what 'he did that day' (what he wouldve wished he wouldve done) and his caretaker, margie, would come in every night and draw on a thing related to it - if he said that he got into a baseball game then she would draw on a black eye on him, a missing tooth, red around the mouth to signalise the pizza he said he ate that day, as a surprise for him when he won the battle, unfortunatly both jakes father (whos named evan, funnily enough, he has an uncle named micheal too) and jake passed away, leaving margie with the home, which on a unrelated note became infested w cats lol, phineas had used the dolls head (which, inspite of it being implied that jake possessed the doll and ran away, i have zero clue how phineas got his hands on it)
andrew is the, i guess 'antagonist' of the man in room 1280, where hes been keeping william alive for a good while now and keeps confusing four nurses to the point of them calling a priest, he wears an alligator mask i think thats cool, and because of how much agony he has in him and how bitter he has at william (vaild) he is the reason why phineas had died by his touch, he has such a strong sense of emotion it just. kinda goes into everything, if youre wondering how his spirit got into the stitchwaith andrews spirit was also in fetch's battery, i dont know the story about that either ur guess is as good as mine
andrew and jake, together in this stitchwraith body, would collect the rest of what andrew had 'infected', which i only remember foxy from come closer being mentioned
andrew dissapears in the 6th epilouge iirc, long story short william in a massive trash pile monster form (yes he still has those goofy rabbit ears mentioned) had appeared and the two struggling not to kill our other protagonist - detective larson - had plunged themselves into it, andrews spirit is dragged away from williams, leaving jake alone in this vessiel
jake discovers, via accidently touching a homeless man, that he can go into others memories and make them plesant, so the death touch is gone for good, also by skipping towards the end he kinda becomes like, a guardian angel for the ballpit? with the memories of eleanors victims (also not relevant to the conversation dont worry about it) being in there, when he makes millies last memories her spending happily with her family, a single ball had started to glow, and the rest of them slowly did as well
i liked jake, i think hes a sweet protagonist, i thought andrew was interesting too but thats just me being tumblr user stitchwraith-stingers to each their own lol
if anything i wouldnt really exactly say that the stitchwraith is a villain, yeah andrew going "LETS KILL HIM" to some guy in his 40s is bad, but its more or less of a "dont judge a book by its cover" shtick (ESPECIALLY considering the whole renelle plotline), they arent finding trouble they just happened to be able to do that
TLDR: two ghost jokes in one expiriment body, one of them is pissed enough to kill people by touching them and after his spirit gets dragged away the other one can visit peoples memories and kinda maybe sorta becomes a guardian angel, dont worry about it
i fuckign HATE the latter half of fnaf lore so fucking much. i dont care about the mimic. i dont care about the stitchwraith. i dont care about the glitchtrap virus. i dont care about remnant. i CARE about haunted animatronics. can we please go back to haunted animatronics???? with the ghosts and the dead people and etc?? not whatever sci-fi bullshit is going on nowadays??
.
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"So, bunnyboy, what if I have a nice, big carrot for you?"
"I don't see any carrots, though? What are you up to? You're going to ask me to do something, aren't you?" Or could this perhaps be... what people called an innuendo?
#misc; answered#gryscled#ic; tai#connection; tai & remo#//he's a little confused but he's got the spirit i think
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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The growth from K saying her and Evan didn't work out because it's hard telling and showing someone how much you love them and having them not believe you, to seeing Evan a couple years after that breakup tell Sam that it was an unfair assumption of him to make that she wasn't being sincere and genuine in her kindness to him, and that he used to think love would fix things but that alone isn't enough and he does need to work on himself and accepting the love his friends give to him.
And even then!! The growth isn't done because he's still trying to adjust HIMSELF into making sense in other people's lives, instead of adjusting his THINKING to accept the love freely given, which Sam reminds him of. It's just so beautiful to see the journey and it's not complete yet, Evan still has some work to do, but he's not doing it alone and it will ultimately be so healing for him 😭😭😭
#dimension 20#misfits and magic#saw some bad takes about k and the k/evan ship and i just think these players put so much more nuance in this#it's like that 'i wish you wouldn't think about me like that' quote which is the point evan has now arrived at in his healing journey#that in his unlearning of his self-hatred he has realized he's been unfair to his friends by not accepting their love#and learning to do that is the next step in his healing#even if he's not quite got it down yet#very 'he's a little confused but he's got the spirit'#anyway all this hits in the evan kelmp AND evan buckley feels so 911 enjoyers got a double whammy tonight!#brennan when i catch you!#and don't even get me started on danielle who just CRUSHED this scene
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happy pride month to the minnesota wild's number one ally jon merrill (donates his time & money to lgbtq/pride organizations both related to and separate from hockey, was one of the few players who advocated for the importance of pride night even after the team mostly pulled out of it ahead of time, etc etc etc) and to the minnesota wild's former number two ally dean evason (when a member of team staff came out a few years back he expressed his support by offering to threaten anyone who was rude to him)
#he a little confused but he got the spirit etc#this is NOT a serious post pls i just remembered the tweet from brandon skfjdjf#i just think its so funny that his response was. in order. 1) I'm proud of you son 2) violence
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i do think it's quite heartwarming- considering how many thousands of years old nolan is- that beating the shit out of the son he's had for not even two decades (which would probably be business as usual on viltrum) was enough to make him go holy shit i need to kill myself RIGHT NOW
#tho i'm sure a part of it is also driven by the shame of failing his people with those pesky human emotions he's developing#but it's still sweet#i think they do a good job this ep of showing how he's sloooowly starting to get it but he's still latching onto the wrong things#'he's a little confused but he's got the spirit' type deal#invincible#willow whispers
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autistic becoming a neutral/positive adjective in todays culture would make my younger neurodivergent self so happy and hopeful (and i hope others can find that too:))
#it definitely has not become fully positive#i have seen it be an insult (to me and others) in casual conversation#<- someone said i was the boring kind of autism and i have grieved ever since then (/hj)#<- people also just add on to anything weird or wrong i do ‘ur autistic’ which I’ve come to realize is in a demeaning way#(didn’t realize bc of the autism)#but i feel like i can tell people that i am autistic now. as opposed to when i hid it so people wouldn’t think less of me#or change how they acted around me#now i have people being like (real conversation btw) “yeah but that guys an asshole. and the other is autistic and cool’’#<- this was a neurotypical childhood friend who would never say this a decade ago#I’ve heard kids say cute things like ‘i am so happy you’re you’‘I wish i was autistic like you’ <- a little confused but he’s got the spirit#i know the world is still shitty and rude and disrespectful#but i have seen such a growth of love and support and overall normalization in todays world#and progress is progress <3#don’t forget that!!#autism#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#positivity#idk what else to tag#but ily all<3#the rare og text post
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Fluff to cure the soul, in the face of oncoming angst….
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl bishops#cotl oc#with things getting so angsty in my fic I’ve felt compelled to draw Fluff from it lately…#with the exception of the first doodleskdkd#he can have a little carnage . as a Treat ❤️🖤#and Heket can have some Soup . as a Treat 😩😩😩#also . about the third drawing .#now the proud owner of a Shamura pillow case 😩#credits to @ MouseDarkArts on Etsy for the design I am a Very Satisfied Customer#Aynno’s trying his Best 💔 he may be a little confused but he got the spirit /ref#watching the constellations… ……… Narinder tells them about the story behind each one I think#Heket loves being a big sister 😩#n then made an oc (the hedgehog) for like a one-off comic and grew attached to her so now she has a whole backstory and everything#smiley squid……. on god I need to draw more random scenes from my fic#and finally…….. 👀#probably won’t post the whole thing for a while yet but still 👀
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Heretic Skippy shenanigans
#i need to catch up with my mutuals#alas life has had me in a cruel stranglehold#still thinking about Exforce though#exforce stuff#this bot is my little guy he's very precious to me#he's a lil confused but he's got the spirit. and he likes cats#the forsaken heretic#skippy the magnificent
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Do you guys think my dad ships Wenclair or just thinks they’re gal pals?
#Elena#wenclair#wednsday addams#Wednesday#wednesday netflix#the pumpkin speaks#my dad is very ‘a little confused but got the spirit’ abt queer stuff#but I don’t think he knows they’re a ship#i think (Like me) he’s rather subtext illiterate
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AU where Midoriya isn't able to convince Bakugou to work with him during the finals
1- Izuku tries. You can't say he doesn't try. But Bakugo would rather lose, and Izuku can't beat All Might right now. To win, he has to leave the exam.
2- he doesn't go directly for the door- All Might is expecting him to be reasonable and try. Instead he vanishes down a side alleyway, taking a post of the fence All Might threw at him.
All Might expects a sneak attack and stays prepared, covering his weak side, but by the time he realizes Izuku has snuck around and back, Izuku's too close to the exit and makes it just through in time.
3- Izuku passes the exam. He got through on time, he has to. It's just a matter of of Bakugo will or not. All Might, RG, and Aizawa discuss. Aizawa shrugs and says pass both, even if he prefers them to have worked together. All Might honestly doesn't feel good about Izuku running, it feels antithetical. RG frowns at both of them, and strongly disagrees. She's the one who watched the entire exam, and Izuku finally did what she told him he needed to do at the SF, and also tried to work with Bakugo, but he just refused to. All Might thinks about about the start of the year, how Izuku almost told him about OfA, and has to agree. The decide to pass Izuku, and fail Bakugo, and Aizawa prepared a set of noice cancelling headphones to deal with his reaction in class.
4- When the League attacks the camp, they know one of their targets is in the lounge, and warps in closer to there. Kouta is never near Muscular - until Izuku carries him there, as the students sent back to the lounge realize it's on fire. The remedial students inside all got out safely, but then had to fend off further attackers. It's utter chaos, with half the students focused on the lounge and slowly beating the villains back, and the other half slowly dropping to sleep in the woods after Ragdoll was taken.
In the aftermath, the villains forced to leave at Kurogiri's pickup, they don't take Bakugo. But they do take Tokoyami, snatched up by Compress in the woods.
5- some things do not change. Izuku is going to help the rescue team. This is not an exam. AfO will not leave Tokoyami alone if Izuku sneaks away. This is the villain Izuku has to face, and he will save his friend along the way. Some things do change. Aoyama, a dear friend taken, wavers more.
And Bakugo, pride twice burned because he failed his exam and he doesn't get why, because he and everyone else at the lounge heard that the League was after him mostly, a target, a victim, a failure - Bakugo goes to Izuku and says Izuku isn't running this time. He's going to help Bakugo beat the villains and get Tokoyami while Bakugo blows Tomura to smithereens. Which, Izuku was already going to go with the rescue team. But if Bakugo is going to start helping now, well, they'll take him for any extra fire power they can get.
#Izuku‚ leading Bakugo to the idiot rescue squad: he's a little confused but he's got the spirit#Momo: oh we're all going to die.#there would be a lot of interesting ripples i think#like the media swarm unfortunately about tokoyamis quirk#and ua not only having to defend itself but also address the quirkism#maybe point out that of all the attacking villains like.. two had mutant type quirks#they're not going to point out the real target#which means Bakugo just has to suffer that like.... privately#still blaming himself#while also feeling guilty shame about everyone else in the world not blaming him for kamino#lots of adjustments in his world view if he's just like..... actually allowed the consequences of his own actions#instead of..... anyway#pocket talks to people#ask game#deusverve
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So you remember this guy?
I fucked up his save file so I had to make a new honor run. I'd decided before I started Luka's that each new honor tav would be a reincarnation of him (he's a high elf), and that every time I had to start over I would roll a d20 to see if they would be a durge. This time around I had to get a nat 1 and. Well.
So meet Aconitum! He's a resisting durge. His guardian is his best friend who was killed by Orin during the Lobotomy Incident :)
#i decided that his eye color would be the throughline between each reincarnation#maybe pastels will be another throughline lol#Connie's a gloomstalker ranger#im planning on romancing shadowheart if i get far enough#i think im gonna have him take a level or two in bard after alfira dies b/c he's met her already#he has a little teensy tiny bit of a fixation on names. it's fine he's fine#his guardian is the first one that is gonna be fully 100% trustworthy at first#* first guardian among my tavs'#b/c he doesnt remember her *dying* but her face *is* familiar#& is one of the only positive associations he has from what little he *does* remember pre-tadpole#gonna have to research gnome names#he's my first tav w/ a strong body type and the height difference is?? so funny to me??#i didnt manage to get a screenshot but there was one point where it looked like the other party members were hiding behind him#he also scared the tiefling kids :( he's a little confused but he's got the spirit#gale & laezel are the angel & devil on his shoulder#image id in alt text#aconitum#bg3 tav#bg3 durge#dark urge#bg3 screenshots#bg3 ranger#bg3 high elf#my post#bg3 honour mode#bg3 honor mode#bg3#my ocs
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