#//hahaha it hurts
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Oh boy I drew this a little while ago and forgot to post it rip
#epic the musical#drawing#digital art#epic odysseus#epic polites#epic eurylochus#haHaHA time for pain#angst my beloved#Hurt/NO comfort. How about that?#I think I was just really down that day? And I decided to make it everyone's problem :D
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Chapter 1: Rubber
Next Chapter ->
Afterland postal master post
Next Chapter ->
Afterland postal Master post
CHAPTER 1 of Afterland Postal! The next chapter is going to be Dolus centered and a lot longer than this one so stay tuned :]!!!!!
#my art#oc#afterland postal#comic#original comic#comic art#ITS FINISHED HAHAHA#MY BACK HURTS#first semi long comic since the CT moon one#HAPPY WITH HOW IT CAM OUT HOHOH
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This one goes out to all the slow burn enjoyers, the dense Y/Ns, and the soft robo jesters that suffer in silence!
Inspired by @bamsara's “Solar Lunacy” fic.
If you feel like reading my ramblings and want to experience more heartbreak for fictional jester blorbos, check under the cut where I detail all the planning behind the frames!
so i heard this song for the first time in a while and the opening lyrics immediately made me think of moon, so i was daydreaming some scenes and then i decided to thumbnail some ideas:
and it all went downhill from there as everything became a metaphor and a parallel to each other, which i will now go into detail on!
you thought the animatic itself was sad?
*writing muse laughs maniacally* IT'S ALL A METAPHOR
Frame 1. "turn down the lights" We start with a back view on Moon. The lights are out, the Moon is out, but we do not see his face. The music and the greyscale atmosphere are enough to establish the weight of the moment and the weight on Moon’s mind.
Frame 2. "turn down the bed" We cut to a shot of Moon's body, kneeling on the ground of the daycare, like a padded cell. Moon’s hands are twitching with the effects of the glitch, with purple sparks coming from his hands. We still do not see his face.
Frame 3. "turn down these voices inside my head" Cut to an extreme close up on the dark half of Moon’s face. Now we see his face, but only a portion of it. His left eye is wide open, red and glitching out. The voices in his head can refer to the glitch but also his repressed feelings. Or maybe it could be Sun's voice in their shared headspace.
Frame 4. "lay down with me" Y/N's hand enters the frame from the upper right corner, lowering down to meet Moon where he kneels on the ground. Only a corner of Moon's face appears on the bottom left corner of the frame, his starry nightcap beginning to cover his glitched left eye.
Frame 5. "tell me no lies" An full shot of Moon on the floor and Y/N standing in front of him with their hand stretched towards him. A light spills out from behind Y/N, creating a boundary between them.
Now we see more of Moon. It is only when Y/N enters the frame—enters his world—that Moon’s body is shown in its entirely. When Y/N is here, he is no longer fragmented. He is whole.
Frame 6. "just hold me close" pspspspsps Playfully, Moon extends his own hand, beckoning Y/N to come closer, to join him. His right hand crossed over his body as he uses the playful gesture to hide his true feelings—to put distance between him and Y/N. His hat continues to cover his glitching left eye. He doesn’t want to worry Y/N.
Frame 7. "don't patronize" In response, Y/N’s hand pats Moon on the head, returning his playfulness. Moon looks surprised by the action. Moon, notably, does not lower his hand—perhaps he has forgotten it or perhaps his invitation is still open.
Frames 8-9. "don't patronize me" Moon rotates his faceplate so Y/N’s hand is touching the side of his faceplate, a more intimate gesture than a head pat. However, his hat is in the way. At this angle, his starry nightcap fully covers his glitchy eye and the dark side of his face, hiding his defect and acting as a veil between him and Y/N. A self-imposed boundary. So close, yet thinly separated. It's better this way. It's safer this way.
The lyrics are broken up by Y/N's arm, both to illustrate how the song is sung ("patronize" is drawn out and "me" is briefly added in before the chorus starts) but also to show how Y/N interrupts Moon's resolve, highlighting the irony between the visuals and the lyrics. Demanding not to be patronized, yet Moon happily accepts this play at intimacy. Don't patronize me, I am weak for it.
This is also the only instance where the red light of Moon's eyes glow and tint the surfaces around it. Visually, it makes it look like Moon is blushing (heavily inspired by @restinsodaroni's art). But also, in this moment of honesty, Moon's intrinsic light spills out, colouring the greyscale world. In this brief moment of honesty, Moon touches the world with his own colours, his own light.
(and this is also where i forgot to clean up the shading on Y/N's arm, but it's okay it doesn't need to be perfect it simply needs to be. And Moon will still love Y/N even if they are a continuity error.)
Frame 10. "'cause I can't make you love me if you don't" A parallel to a frame 4, Y/N retrieves their hand away and immediately Moon is reduced to the corner of his faceplate in the frame. Only now his glitched eye is fully covered by his hat.
The lyrics here (and in the next frame) in particular grow lighter to emphasize Moon's diminishing resolve and agency.
From here on out, the lyrics here are broken up, carrying on this theme of fragmentation. Y/N is pulling away, Moon is breaking up, the words are breaking up. Everything is coming apart.
Frame 11. "you can't make your heart feel something it won't" Y/N turns to leave. The lyrics, broken up as before, highlight the irony of the situation. Y/N, a human, can’t feel something they simply don’t feel. Whereas, Moon, the machine, feels something his code never intended him to feel.
Frame 12. "here in the dark in these final hours" Another full shot that parallels frame 5, as Y/N steps towards the light and Moon leans forward into the space Y/N once occupied. Y/N is leaving—that which makes him whole is leaving. And he is only capable of making it to the boundary where the light cuts into the darkness. The "final hours" suggest it might be the end of Y/N’s shift, or perhaps this scene takes place right before the glitch takes over—the final hours that Y/N has with the true Moon. Either way, time is running out—and only Moon knows it.
There is a contrasting display of body language here. Moon is on the floor leaning towards Y/N with his hand still left out. Whereas Y/N is turned away, walking away, and has already slipped their hand away and into their pocket. Y/N is closed off while Moon is limply open. Y/N is actively moving while Moon is on the floor, waiting, hoping, for that which he lacks the agency to reach for himself.
Frame 13. "I will lay down my heart" A close up on Moon’s hand, rising up again, perhaps to beckon Y/N back once more. This is a slight parallel to Y/N's hand reaching out to Moon. While Y/N can freely reach out and touch Moon, Moon cannot. He can't enter the light and more importantly he can't risk potentially harming his relationship with Y/N—be it through the glitch or by his feelings. He can only lay down his heart—put aside his feelings or hope that someone will pick up his pieces and make him whole.
Frame 14. "and I'll feel the power" Still on a close up on Moon’s hand, now clenched in slightly. This initially was going to have the glitch effects. However, I felt it more meaningful for it to be left without. Leave it up for interpretation why Moon pauses his hand. What is the power that he alone feels and stays his hand?
Frame 15. "but you won't, no, you won't" A parallel to frame 1, a view of on Moon's back with his hand stretched out towards the light, and Y/N walking into the light spilling through the open daycare door.
The placement of the lyrics suggest two different “you won’t”—Y/N who won’t realize Moon’s feelings, and Moon who won’t dare speak them into reality.
Another note on the parallel to frame 1, this time we also see Y/N's back, but it is notably different from our view of Moon's back. With Moon, we literally see inside him through the hole for his loop. However, Y/N is shrouded in shadow, just a solid, obscure silhouette against the bright light of a world Moon—and Sun for that matter—are closed off from. We don’t see into Y/N, just as the Daycare Attendant doesn't have any vantage point of Y/N's life beyond their time at the PizzaPlex. (The unfortunate reality of a being a character made for the purpose of being a vessel for the reader.)
Frame 16. "'cause I can't make you love me" We finally cut to face Moon head-on, frozen in place with his hand stretched out, unable to cross the boundary into the light. His eyes have gone dark. Where we began by seeing bits and parts of Moon, and never seeing his full face—now we, the viewer, see the full Moon, open and vulnerable—unbeknownst to Y/N.
Frame 17. "if you don't" But in the dark, behind closed doors, there is no one to perceive him—no one to receive him. The light dwindles as the daycare doors are closed. Moon stays frozen where he kneels. It is no longer the glitch that plagues him, but a far deeper dread.
But a lone streak of light peaks through the gap in the daycare doors. Perhaps that is just enough. A silver lining. A frail hope. A single, ethereal thread out of darkness and into light.
Thanks for reading and watching!
We'll be back to our regularly scheduled fun and games shortly!
#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#so this idea had me by the throat ever since I heard this song again#I've never done an animatic before but I wanted to give it a shot#the opening lyrics already reminded me of moon right off the bat#but then i kept listening and started thumbnailing some frames#it was actually the frames with moon receiving the head pat and turning his faceplate that convinced me i had to do this lol#the sweetest images resulted in this work of angst#thank you if you read all this!#i promise to post something cute soon to balance things out#and no promises but i will say the second verse of the song is PERFECT for sun#“morning will come and I'll do what's right just give me 'till then to give up this fight” /lyrics#hahaha it hurts :')#crab art#traditional art#digital art#traditionally inked and digitally coloured#animatic
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would alfie merch ever be on the table? 👀
asking for the delulus like me who aren’t scared of his emotional unavailability haha he’s too powerful! how were we ever supposed to resist?
WHAT!? Would y’all want that!??!
Well, if so, I’ll try to keep it cheapies
#hahaha the niche within the niche 😆#a random hazbin fan’s fankid#also don’t worry I will not be hurt by the vote lol#it’s so cool to me that there’s even two people interested in Alfie merch (I’m counting myself and this anon)
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And that's a wrap! Ford happily dies right by Bill's arms :D
Creator: @honeqq
7/7
Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 |
Thanks for all the support and tears you all have supplied, it fueled my motivation to finish this comic! XD
This idea came to me in a dream one day and I couldn't stop thinking about it, so after days I finally decided to make it. This is my interpretation of how Ford died and the before events of Route #9 in the Mr.BillPines AU! I really love that au and it's potential for angst, so definitely props to Honeqq for inspiring me :3 (Go check out their AU if you haven't yet 🫵)
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#billford#the book of bill#stanford pines#If you listen very closely. you can hear me gushing over every reblog and comments I get HAHAHA#I had fun making this comic and sharing it with you guys!#it's genuinely the highlight of my day. after classes I make sure to post each new part on time and await for you reactions XP#I hope you guys don't find the comic confusing? it's actually my first try on properly making a comic :'P#also! Idk if y'all noticed..... there's a very obvious code im the comics (very simple cuz I can't come up with complex puzzles)#there's a bonus piece if the code is cracked :3#though it will take a while since Midterms are coming up :'))#I promise it isn't angst anymore. this comic hurt me as well guys 💔#endlesspaint#delicioustarong
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I think people forget with Cullen, and characters like Cullen, that indoctrination is a thing. We're lucky to live in an age where we have a surplus of access to resources that allow us to think critically on the structures around us, to the point where we overlook that most people won't and haven't. Cullen was raised in a backwater village where the main educators and leaders were Templars. He was likely taught scripture by Chantry Sisters, he possibly learned to read and write through them. From the day he was born, he was being taught to love and obey the Chantry with out question--and the Chantry teaches that Templars are a force of good.
So I ask you, how the hell was Cullen, at eight or thirteen years old, going to learn about the crimes of Templars? How was he going to unlearn propaganda that was fed him to him every day by people he respected and possibly loved? How was he supposed to be aware that this idolized image of Templars being the saviors of the people and even mages was a lie?
And then he gets shipped off, happily, to be trained a Templar. Again, he's put into this position where he's fed nothing but propaganda. He doesn't get a real taste of the Order being corrupted until he's out in Kinloch and he's not sure what the hell to do because what he's seeing isn't jiving with what he's been taught for nearly two decades. So yeah, he tries to justify it, he tries to have his cake and eat it too by reasoning that mages should be treated like people but also the Order wouldn't lie to him, so they must be right to act like this. The Maker always had a plan, right?
If Cullen had been lucky, maybe he could have realized earlier on that the Order was abusing mages, that he had been tricked, he could have gotten out and unlearned the bigotry that was planted inside him.
But then BAM! the Broken Circle happened and I don't see how no one gets how perfect this is for the Order? They now have a templar that is so traumatized by mages, he will literally do and say anything to justify their abuses because now? Now he's afraid.
And remember, after Origins, Cullen becomes so erratic, he has to be sent off to a Chantry to 'even him out'--where he was more than likely manipulated even further by the Chantry to be this blood thirsty agent for them. When he's shipped to Kirkwall, they could have not delivered to Meredith a better second in command.
So yeah, is it really surprising that he says shit like 'mages aren't people like you and me' when we meet him in Kirkwall? Man is sleep depraved by the looks of him, swallowing all Meredith's frenzied rhetoric on blood mages, he's seeing for himself the damage these mages are doing, he's isolated from his family, he has no actual friends, and he's living with C-PTSD among other issues. Even under the best of conditions, none of what he says or does in DA2 is surprising when you put it all together.
And yet, the man still had enough of that idealistic child left in him to realize see that Meredith was going off the deep end and that he should be protecting the mages. That's text. That's in World of Thedas. The reason why Cullen is able to turn on Meredith in the end is because he was able to see, even clouded by his fear and hatred, that what she was doing was wrong.
And all this isn't to excuse Cullen's wrongs. It's weird how every time someone brings up Cullen's history, it's assumed that it's just a justification for his actions. It's not, it's an an explanation. Cullen was a victim of the Order that became an abuser, a tool, and he is responsible for his actions.
But the thing is, by DAI, Cullen is well aware of his sins and he actively works to better himself by leaving the Order and getting off lyrium (which for most people is a death sentence). People can argue all day about whether or not Cullen's arc in DAI redeems him or was satisfying, or if he did enough to 'prove' that he was sorry or--good god--does he deserve redemption in the first place (which is such a Catholic way of looking at shit by the way; no one 'deserves' redemption; you do it to be better or you fucking don't) but the fact is that Cullen says that he wants to be better, that he sees the Order as--at the very least--flawed.
That, yes, he's still unlearning all the bigotry he held as a younger man and he's ashamed that he was like that to begin with.
You can hate him all you like, and whatever, but Cullen's story--intentionally or not--is about a man born into an oppressive society, raised to uphold its beliefs, used and abused by it, and then awakening to those lies and trying to free himself from those beliefs so he could be a better person.
And sometimes I genuinely wonder if the reason so many people hate Cullen is because they themselves might have dealt with something similar in our own oppressive society where they also had to unlearn harmful bigotry and maybe, just maybe, he hits too close to home.
#cullen rutherford#writing#this about this guy again and how he gets such an unfair shake when I know for a fact a good portion of us are no better#you can say you are that you would know as a CHILD that this was wrong but hahaha I guess some of us aren't able to see through propaganda#man is nuanced as hell and the statements 'Cullen was a victim who was brainwashed by the Chantry' and 'Cullen is a grown man who actively#hurt mages for his own selfish reasons' can co exist quite easily#you know like how Blackwall also killed an entire family for money and yet has spent years trying to atone for that mistakes#anyway I'm right get out of my house
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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is helluva boss allergic to doing anything interesting with stella at all or what
#im not asking for a sympathetic character im asking for A Character. a character? A character?#shes octavias mother and stolas spent his entire life with her can you at least pretend for half a second#that youve given her any depth. any. at all. anything?#a shallow evil character is one thing TRUST ME I KNOW but jesus christ#literally every single scene of hers is about her either hating stolas or being happy stolas is hurt. to the point its ridiculous#and it makes stolas and vias charcaters way harder to see with much depth to bc the second you try to imagine#how their lives before canon were like theres just this. impossible paper thin caricature of a bitch wife#i was actually excited to see how shed twist things to make via be on her side but i didnt even get that#just. hahaha i hate him so much haha... im eevvvillll#. ok#helluva boss critical#anyways vias song was good
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Safe (M, cold)
Well, here I am.
It's been a few months since I've written anything in the Elliot's universe, but recently someone asked for a Mark-centric story, and this behemoth is what ensued. Allow me to preface by saying this: Mark is basically my self-insert. This was a very hard story to write. If it sucks, my apologies, hah.
In this, Mark gets sick from Matt and wants to hide it from Elijah. It is significantly more hurt/comfort-slash-sickfic than snzfic, honestly. It starts fairly benign, fluffy, and silly and gets really intense a few pages in. There's a lot of musing, a lot of being inside Mark's head. Idk. I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. This is the first story I've written on here that has taken me a full week to get down, and that I've written and scrapped multiple scenes. It is very long. I really hope you enjoy it if you read it. I'd love to hear your thoughts, but also understand if it's just too long-winded for people to read. Also, there's a real chance of spelling/grammar errors because I just can't look at this monster of a fic any longer, ha.
Anyway. Onward.
CW: Male snz, illness, coughing, contagion. 6K words (almost exactly)
Safe
“Don’t go near them.”
It’s the first thing that hit his ears as he pushed through the swinging kitchen doors; no ‘hi, Mark,’ no, ‘good morning’, just a barked order with absolutely zero context thrown in. Mark whipped his head in the direction of the stern voice of his boss.
“Good morning to you, too,” he muttered, making his way towards the office, where Elijah was stationed, seated, but not doing any computer work. “Who and what are we avoiding?” he asked as he entered.
“The chefs,” Elijah said, moving his chair to let the younger manager in to sit. Mark placed his backpack on the ground, tossed his coat over top of Greyson’s on the second office chair. Waited for further explanation that did not come.
“Okay…” he said, sitting beside his boss. “And we’re not going near them because…?” Mark hadn’t even seen Greyson or Matt yet this morning. The avoiding was being done for him, so what was Elijah’s deal?
Elijah hummed a low disapproval – of what, Mark couldn’t guess – and turned towards his computer. “You’ll see,” he said, shaking his mouse and pulling up an order guide. “Just don’t breathe your boyfriend’s breath, okay?”
Mark colored at the implication; it had only been a couple of months since Matt and Mark had been outed to the restaurant, and the floor manager still wasn’t used to their relationship being casually dropped into conversation. While Elijah busied himself with admin work, Mark stood – time to figure out what the fuck Elijah was on about.
You would think that finding chefs in a kitchen would be a relatively banal business; they’re chefs. They’re cooking. Hardly a moving target – but you’d be wrong. Somehow, the second a front of house manager starts looking for a chef, they become a ghost. They haven’t existed for a thousand years – are you sure this restaurant even has a chef? Mark couldn’t help but ponder how the fuck this hundred-square-foot kitchen somehow became a labyrinthian nightmare the second he wanted to find his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s boss; c’mon, he’d checked the walk-in, the back kitchen, even the dock to see if they were smoking, where the fuck were they?
Maybe Elijah had told the two of them to stay away from Mark and the front of house staff before the floor manager arrived, and they were playing a cat-and-mouse style keep-away game that Mark was unaware of. Or maybe they had gone to the store to pick up chicken or some shit. Either way, Mark was done looking. Elijah said don’t go near them, he thought to himself, heading back towards the front of the kitchen, easy enough.
Of course, it was the moment that Mark decided he was done looking that he quite literally bumped into his boyfriend coming through the kitchen doors.
“Oof,” Matt grunted as they collided. Greyson, not even a step behind him, turned their two-person bump into a three-car-pileup that nearly ended in hot coffee being spilled over all of them.
“Christ, Chef, watch where you’re going,” Matt muttered untangling himself from the middle of the pack.
“Mbe watch where I’mb going?” Greyson asked, wiping his coffee-covered hand on his chef’s pants. “The two of you are practically grinding on each other here and I ndeed to watch where I’mb going?”
Mark clocked it in the chef’s voice immediately – oh. That’s what Elijah meant.
But… he had said both of them… right?
Mark’s head shot up from checking to make sure he didn’t have coffee all over his button-down to look Matt directly in the face – ah. Fuck.
“Hh-! Hh’ITSHZH-ue! HRTSHH-ue!” Matt collapsed to the side to sneeze, seemingly in lieu of responding to Greyson’s dig. “Snf. Fuck off, Chef.” There it was.
“Bless you,” Mark said, attempting not to sound accusatory. Matt just nodded.
“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. “Sorry.”
Before Mark could respond to the unnecessary apology, Elijah’s voice rang out once again from the office. “Mark, I told you to stay away from them!” The GM stood from his desk chair and strode into the kitchen, physically pushing Mark and Matt away from one another. “Six foot distance,” he said, pointing at both of them. “And you,” he said, addressing his counterpart, “didn’t I tell you to go get some tea and sit the fuck down? We have a big night tonight and I need you conscious, please.”
Greyson rolled his eyes and held up his cup. “I was on mby way to sit when the children starting gyrating on each other in the mbiddle of mby kithcen,” he said. “Don’t put this one on mbe.”
Elijah squeezed the bridge of his nose, frustrated. “First of all,” he said, moving towards Greyson and plucking the cup from his hand, “that isn’t tea.”
“The tea we buy is gross,” Greyson whined. “And I’mb ti – hh! Hh...hhuh-ETSHZH-ue! Snrf, fuck.” Greyson took a moment to collect himself, to wipe his nose on his sleeve and cough – a wet, concerning sound – before finishing his sentence. “I’mb tired,” he said, snatching the cup back.
“Which is why I told you to go sit down,” Elijah said, pressing his palms together and accentuating each word with his hands. “And please do not get my front of house manager sick. I beg, Greyson.”
“Talk to him,” Greyson said, thumbing towards Matt. “I’mb ndot the one with my tongue in Mark’s mbouth twenty-four-seven.”
Mark’s face flamed once again, but Matt, either too sick to care or beyond the embarrassment that was a public relationship in the work place, just rolled his eyes.
“Jealous, much?” Matt asked under his breath. Greyson shot daggers with a glance at his sous, and Mark decided it was probably time to step in.
“Listen, how about I go grab the two of you some medicine from down the street, you both take a rest, and then by the time the meds have kicked in, everyone should be good for service.” Mark looked to Elijah for his blessing; his boss was obviously mulling it over, considering. “And this way, I’ll be out of the metaphorical splash zone,” he finished, which finally prompted a nod from Elijah.
“Okay,” his boss said. “Good idea, Mark. You two – come with me.”
The GM led the two chefs back into the dining room to lay in the back booth while Mark let out a sigh. He was happy, of course, to be out of the fight, to have seemingly calmed everyone down, and to have put his boss’s mind at ease.
Unfortunately, he was fairly sure that – despite Elijah’s eased mind – it was already too late for keeping himself away from the newest restaurant pestilence.
***
“Elijah is going to kill me, Matt.”
“Oh, please, he is ndo – ITSZCHH-ue! ndot,” Matt said, swiping the bottle of Dayquil from Mark’s hand and chugging it. “You gonna sit?” he asked, sniffling and patting the milk crate beside him and shivering. Mark sighed.
“I’m not gonna sit, because Elijah is going to kill me even more if he sees me sitting right next to you.”
“I’mb gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s ndot possible,” Matt said, dissolving at the end of his sentence into a chesty cough.
“You’re coughing now, too?” Mark asked, worry about Elijah’s anger usurped very suddenly by concern for his boyfriend. Mark placed a hand to Matt’s head. “Oh, honey.”
“Sorry,” Matt said, not bothering to move Mark’s hand. Mark huffed out a little laugh.
“Don’t apologize for being sick. Please,” he said, moving his hand to cup Matt’s cheek. “Even if Elijah might kill us both.”
Matt smiled, pressed his face harder into Mark’s hand. “You might ndot get sick. You ndever know,” he muttered, eyes closing as Mark held his head up.
“Matt,” Mark laughed, “I mean… I don’t think that’s, uh, possible after last night.” Matt’s eyes blinked open at the mention of it, and a little smile flitted across his lips.
The apartment had been quiet.
“Matt?” Mark called as he stepped inside. “Babe, are you home?”
He strained his ears; the shower was on. Mark had an idea.
He tiptoed across the cold apartment floor, quietly stripping as he went; by the time he got to the bathroom door, he was nude as the day he was born. The bathroom door wasn’t closed all the way, so he pushed inside silently and pulled back the curtain.
A fact about Matt that shocked Mark more than anything was that the man did not get scared. He had yawned through their first haunted house together; he fell asleep during the Terrifier movies, for Christ’s sake. So Mark was unsurprised when, instead of screaming bloody murder the way he would’ve if Matt snuck up on his in the shower, his boyfriend simply turned away from the spray and smiled.
“You’re early,” he murmured, ushering Mark in.
“I came right from the gym,” Mark said, wrapping his arms around the shorter man. “I wanted to see you.”
“Mmmm,” Matt hummed, pressing himself into Mark’s arms. “That’s nice, baby.”
They stood that way for a few minutes, until Mark tipped Matt’s chin up towards his face. “I wanted to see you,” he said, pressing his lips onto Matt’s neck, “but I also wanted to… do things. With you.”
Matt’s breath caught in the back of his throat. “Yeah?” he asked, voice low. “Like what?”
Mark stood back to his full height, and pushed Matt against the shower wall. “Let me show you.”
“Fair enough,” Matt said now, lifting his head. “But, I mbean, are you feeling okay right ndow?”
He was, for the moment. But, Matt had seemed alright last night, and clearly he’d already been on the trajectory towards ill – despite that fact that he had been very good at hiding it. Whatever he and his boss had picked up was certainly quick to come on.
“I’m fine, baby, don’t worry about me,” Mark said, rummaging through the drug store bag to hand Matt, who’d fallen into another paroxysm of coughing, the Robitussin. “I’m more worried about you than anything.”
Matt snapped the top off and chugged this medicine as well, seemingly without any concern about mixing two medications. “Babe, it’ll be fine. I kndow Elijah is worried about getting through the weekend, but it’s ndot like any of us haven’t worked with a cold before.” He shrugged then, handed Mark the medicine, and stood. Mark stood as well, and once again cupped Matt’s hot face – this time with both hands.
“Please just take it a little bit easy tonight, okay?” Mark said. “I know Greyson is sick, too, but don’t try to do too much. We don’t need another moment like a few months ago.”
“And to think I’d just forgotten about that,” Matt said, going on tiptoe to kiss his boyfriend. “I’ll be okay.” Mark kissed him back, a little longer than was maybe necessary; long enough that neither of them heard the back door open until it was too late.
“Mark, what the fuck are you doing?”
Oh, fuck.
Elijah.
***
By the end of the night, Greyson and Matt were shadows of their former selves.
“Hh-! Hhhuh… hhNGTSHH-ue! HRTSHH! ETSZCH-ue! Fuuuck mbe,” Greyson muttered as he wrenched into the sleeve of his hoodie – chef coats had been abandoned about an hour into service, when both he and Matt started shivering hard enough to fuck up the plating on more than half the dishes – for the millionth time that night. He attempted to clear his throat, prompting a flurry of congested coughs.
Behind him, Matt was sitting on the cold, industrial kitchen ground, head between his knees. “I’mb gonna pass out, I just kndow I am.”
“Don’t fuckigg pass out,” Greyson growled, pulling his sous to his feet. “You ndeed to get your blood mboving, you gotta stand up. Idiot.”
The two of them, bickering and sneezing in near-unison by the pass, had captivated the attention of both front of house managers, who had turned away from their computer work to watch the mess unfold.
“Hope you like what you see,” Elijah said, finally. “Because that’s gonna be you tomorrow.”
Behind his boss’s back, Mark rolled his eyes. “Boss, I’m fine. I don’t feel sick at all, trust me, I’m going to be okay.” It was mostly true; he’d sneezed a few more times today than was normal for him, yes. And he was a little tired – no more than usual, surely. The rawness in the back of his throat was easily ignored with huge gulps of water. He was fine.
“Mmm,” Elijah said, swinging his chair around to look the younger man in the eye, “sure. Whatever you say, Mark; just remember, if you look even close to how bad Matt does tonight, you’re off the floor. And I mean off the floor until you return to normal. A cold is one thing; whatever these two have is entirely another. Understood?”
Mark swallowed around his burgeoning sore throat; off the floor. Off the floor didn’t mean relegated to busywork behind the scenes; it meant sent home. Being sent home meant days without a backup manager to help Elijah on the floor, and no one to help on the floor meant Elijah would realize there was a gap in their team. A gap in management. Mark had been the only floor manager in all the years Elliot’s had been open; Elijah had mentioned a few times that maybe they should hire another person, someone to cover if both Mark and Elijah couldn’t come in, but Mark had been vehemently against it. Elijah couldn’t hire another manager, because if he did, he’d see how truly unqualified Mark had been for his position all this time. Once he saw how unqualified he was, he’d be out on his ass. No job, no money… no second family. No place he truly belonged.
Mark’s face flushed, and he cast his eyes towards the floor. “Yes, boss,” he said. “I understand.”
“Good,” Elijah said, nodding. “Now, go collect your boyfriend and take him to bed.”
***
The first time Mark was sick while working at Elliot’s was well over a year into his tenure.
Elijah had regarded Mark with concern, clocking him as unwell the second he sat in the office. “You don’t look well,” he said. “Are you feeling okay?”
Mark’s face had flushed, embarrassed; not getting sick for over a year working front of house was honestly a feat of accomplishment in the restaurant industry, but he still felt guilty for coming down with something, despite its inevitability. He shrugged, an attempt at playing it cool.
“I’mb okay, boss,” Mark croaked. “Just a cold.”
Elijah nodded slowly. “Are you sure it’s just a cold? You feel okay to work?”
Mark raised an eyebrow, confused. Did he look that unwell? “I mbean… yeah?” he said, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “Why?”
“Well,” Elijah said, opening a drawer and pulling out cold medicine, along with a small bag that looked like it could’ve come from his mother’s medicine cabinet. “A cold, we can work with.”
The GM explained to him, then, that there were marked differences between the front of house cold, and the back of house cold. “You’ve seen Greyson sick at work a dozen times,” Elijah said, passing Mark a cup full of pills and a water bottle. “Right?”
“Sure,” Mark said, swallowing the pills around a painfully sore throat. “It’s ndot like he’s hiding it.”
“Right. Right,” Elijah said, popping open a stick that looked like – was that concealer? “The chefs, the cooks – they don’t have to hide anything. Us, though? No one wants to be served soup by someone with a stuffy nose. We all get the same shit, but only they’re allowed to look like shit.” He dabbed the concealer under Mark’s eyes, used an expert finger to blend it into his skin. “That’s the industry for you.”
“Are you… putting makeup on mbe?” Mark asked, laughing a bit.
“Sure am,” Elijah said. “A little concealer goes a long way in this profession, Mark. Concealer, and enough meds to tranquilize an elephant.” His boss closed the little concealer pen, put the medicine and makeup away. “I want you on the floor, but I want you to look… alive.” Elijah shut the drawer, shrugged. “Let me know if you start feeling really shitty. Otherwise? Come to the back to blow your nose, and feel free to help yourself to whatever you want in here.”
Mark blinked, a little confused, but grateful for the advice. Elijah seemed… almost fatherly, like this, and he could feel embarrassing tears welling in his eyes at this, the smallest gesture of being cared for. Mark looked down, cleared his throat. “Uh… okay, boss. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Elijah said, patting Mark’s knee. “We’ve gotta take care of each other in this hell hole of an industry, y’know?”
Mark couldn’t look up. The thought of his boss seeing him cry was entirely too much for him to handle. “Right,” he whispered. “Right.”
***
The hardest part of hiding an illness, Mark knew from experience, was speaking.
Putting on makeup and looking like a human instead of a corpse? Easy. He’d learned how to apply concealer so it didn’t look like he was in drag – just enough that in the dim lighting of the restaurant you couldn’t tell if those were dark circles or shadows. He’d learned if you added a tiny bit of blush to your cheeks, no one noticed that your nose was also red, and he’d figured out the hard way that there was never a world in which he needed eyeliner, even if it made his eyes look less bloodshot.
He always dressed immaculately when he wasn’t feeling well; extra-crisp button down, sport coat, his expensive Ray Ban glasses, not the cheapos from Zenni he usually donned. Mark shined his shoes the second he felt a tickle in his throat, broke out the cuff links if he suddenly sneezed more than thrice in a row. He’d been trained well by Elijah to hide the visual cues of any oncoming malady.
Hiding how he really felt came even more naturally; he’d been practicing that since childhood. Complaining wasn’t in his nature, or had maybe been stamped out entirely at some point – either way, Mark could be actively passing out, unable to breathe, coughing so hard he couldn’t form a sentence, and he wouldn’t even mention it. Of course, he’d been sent home from work for being ill before, but never once had he chosen to go. Even the thought of saying ‘I’m sick’ made him dizzy with unease. You need to work through that in therapy, Matt had said to him multiple times, and he knew it was true, but it was also helpful. In this industry, admitting defeat was akin to admitting you sucked at your job.
The voice, though? That was always what gave him away. No matter how much medicine he took, he could always hear the rasp that overtook his voice immediately. His m’s and n’s turned to rounded shadows of their former selves even if he blew his nose every five minutes. His timbre lowered considerably, to the point that when Matt first saw him sick he asked how it felt to be able to do a perfect Johnny Cash, but only when he felt like shit. It was a problem, but Mark was a pretty quiet guy in general. If he was quieter than usual, usually no one was the wiser.
That’s what he hoped – that his boss would be none the wiser – as he dressed in his perfectly-tailored suit that morning, stifling sneeze after painful sneeze into handfuls of tissue all the while. Just don’t talk, he thought as he dotted Maybeline under his eyes. No one has to know.
Of course, not talking was a bit… difficult when his boss was around. “Good morning,” Elijah called to Mark as he buzzed through the kitchen, trying to make his way into the dining room without having to make small talk. Dammit. Mark stopped, begrudgingly, and nodded at his boss, who raised both eyebrows at the younger manager’s outfit choice. “Is there an event tonight I’ve forgotten?”
Mark shook his head, straightened his tie. “Just felt like dressing up,” he said, tactfully avoiding words with too many nasal letters. “How’re you, boss?”
“I’m well,” Elijah said, pointedly. He patted the empty chair next to him, prompting Mark to sit; don’t let him get a good look at you, a voice in Mark’s head chastised. Don’t get taken off the floor. “Greyson’s not coming in till three, if you want to do your preshift report in here today.”
“That’s okay,” Mark said. “I like the dining roomb.” Fuck.
Elijah cocked his head to the side, but didn’t mention Mark’s voice. “How’s Matt feeling?” he asked, another pointed question.
“He’s okay – a little better. Said he’d be here at four.” Mark patted himself on the back for maneuvering around any pesky m’s or n’s that time. Elijah nodded slowly.
“Glad to hear it,” Elijah said, standing. The younger manager was several inches taller than his boss, but Elijah was still able to look him fairly closely in the eye. Once again, one word rattled around in Mark’s head: fuck. “How are you feeling?”
Mark allowed a smile to form on his rapidly-chapping lips. “Good, boss. Ready to work,” he said simply. God, he needed to clear his throat. And more than that, he really, really needed to blow his nose.
Elijah nodded. “Alright,” he said, apparently placated. “Go ahead, then.”
“Thanks, boss,” Mark said, stepping out of the office doorway and pushing through the swinging kitchen doors before Elijah could say anything else. He’d made it through the first test, somehow. Just in time, too, he thought, making a beeline towards the bathroom. Because I really fucking need to -
“NTSHH!” Mark stifled a near-silent sneeze into his wrist as he yanked open the guest bathroom door. Finally, locked in the bathroom alone, he allowed himself to be as disgusting, as sick as he really was.
“Hhuh -! Hh- ETZSCH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Huh… hh’RRSHH-ue!” Mark collapsed in on himself, scrambling to collect a handful of tissues so he wouldn’t ruin the sleeve of his suit. He blew his nose as thoroughly as he could – not that it made any difference, he was still stuffed up to the gills. A pathetic little cough escaped his lungs, prompting another tickle in his sinuses. “HUHTTSCHH-ue!”
Shut up, shut up, shut up, he chastised himself, blowing his nose again. He’s going to fucking hear you.
He waited a moment or two to see if Elijah would push through the door – he didn’t – before sitting fully clothed on the toilet and pulling out his phone.
11:56AM
Mark
what is this, the fucking plague?
Almost immediately, Matt texted back.
11:57AM Matt
o shit, did we get you already? baby im so sorry. u shouldve told me u weren’t feeling good last night u couldve stayed over
11:57AM Mark
not your fault. and I’m ok, just trying to avoid Elijah, he’s gonna be so pissed.
11:59AM
Matt
omfg he’ll get over it. its not like someone in that restaurant isnt sick every other week
Mark sighed, his lungs crackling at the effort. Matt was right; someone was almost always sick at Elliot’s, that was the way of things in this industry. They all shared drinks, they worked in close quarters, it was bound to happen. This was less about the illness itself – of course he’d been sick at work before, who hadn’t? - and more about the look he knew he’d see on Elijah’s face when he’d finally have to crack. He’d gone directly against his boss’s orders, had put his job and the restaurant second to his baser desires. That’s no way to get ahead in this world, his dad’s voice bellowed from the base of his brain. Mark shuddered; he wasn’t sure he’d be able to face Elijah’s look of pure disappointment. He wasn’t sure he had it in him.
Slipping his phone into his pocket, Mark stood and washed his hands. He took an inventory of his face in the mirror – eye bags poorly covered by drugstore makeup, his nose raw and red, his mouth slightly open to allow him to breathe – and realized how truly awful he looked. Was there even a chance that Elijah didn’t know he was sick? Doubtful, his dad’s voice muttered.
You have to just try, another voice in his head pleaded. Just push through, you know how to push through. You’ve done it a million times before. He doesn’t have to know.
That voice, Mark knew, was delusional – a child’s gnawing plea to be accepted, to not get in trouble, to not be thought of as a burden – but he knew that sometimes you had to be delusional, had to listen to the saddest, smallest part of yourself to get through a day. He pulled his phone back out before leaving the bathroom.
12:04PM
Mark
just please don’t say anything to Elijah when you get here, ok? I’m fine, I promise. its honestly probably just in my head, it’s probably nothing so just don’t say anything. see u soon.
Pathetic, his dad’s voice spat, and Mark knew the voice was right. But that was nothing new, nothing to dwell on; he’d always been pathetic. Mark switched off his phone then, not wanting to be comforted by his boyfriend, and stepped onto the floor.
***
“Mark,” Matt said, reaching up to touch the front of house manager’s forehead, “you really need to go.”
Mark pulled away before Matt could touch him, though not by choice. “HRRSHH-uhh! Hh-! HhNTZSHH-ue! Snrrf. Leave mbe alone.”
Matt’s hand recoiled at the ice in his boyfriend’s voice, obviously hurt. Normally, Mark would’ve nearly fallen to his knees at the thought of hurting Matt’s feelings, but today, with the cold from hell progressing quicker than he ever could’ve anticipated, he couldn’t even find it in himself to apologize. Obviously he needed to go, but that would mean admitting to illness; it would mean begin taken off the floor until god-knows-when. It would mean Elijah replacing him.
No. He wasn’t about to go.
“Honey,” Matt said carefully, touching Mark’s hand across the expo board, “I’mb sure Elijah would understand. It’s a slow ndight, he already sent Greyson back home. What are you trying to prove?”
Of course, Matt was right; last night’s crazy shift was in stark contrast to this evening’s steady pace. There were hardly twenty more covers for the evening, and yes, even Greyson had admitted defeat and slunk out right at six p.m., in a fevered haze. The only reason Matt was still here was because his fever had broken this morning and, despite the lingering cough and stuffy nose, he was clearly feeling better. Good enough, even, to have gone behind Mark’s back and talked to Elijah.
“Matt told me,” Elijah had cornered him right before preshift started, in the back server station while everyone else ate family meal. Mark felt his stomach sink. Fucking Matt, he thought, clearing his throat to address his boss in the most normal voice he could muster.
“Told you what?” he asked, straightening his tie. Elijah gave the younger manager a knowing look.
“You don’t look like you feel well, Mark,” he said, obviously trying a different tactic. This time, Mark’s stomach knotted; he felt, for a moment, like a little kid, wanting to fall to the ground in front of his mommy and just allow himself to be comforted. He thought for a fleeting moment of how good it would feel to just admit it; I’m sick, he would say, if he were a normal fucking person, I want to go to bed.
Instead, Mark shook his head. “I don’t kndow what Matt told you, but he doesn’t kndow what he talking about,” he managed, his voice cutting out only once. “I’mb fine.”
Elijah sighed. “Mark, listen, I know I was an asshole yesterday -”
“Boss,” Mark cut Elijah off. “Please. I’mb okay. Just please, let mbe work.”
He’d walked away then, hadn’t let Elijah say whatever it was he wanted to say, and had avoided Matt as well as he could throughout service. Now, mid-shift, when all the cooks and servers were side-eyeing them from he expo board, was not the time to hash this out.
“I’mb ndot trying to prove anything, Matt,” Mark said now, grabbing two plates from the window. “Just stay out of mby business. What table?”
Matt bit his cheek, peaked at the chit. “Please don’t be mbad,” he said, voice quiet. Mark prickled; he couldn’t help it. He was mad. He’d asked one stupid thing of Matt, and now here he was, career in trouble, embarrassed in front of both of their staffs, and once again gearing up for another painful -
“HTTSHH-ue! God, fugck,” Mark swore, ducking expertly away from the plates he was holding. He sucked in through his nose hard enough to make himself dizzy, and looked back at Matt. “What table, Chef?” he asked, pointedly. Matt winced.
“Thirty-three,” he said finally. Mark nodded.
“Great. Thangks.” He turned on his heels and pushed out the kitchen doors.
***
Before it happened, Mark found himself thinking exactly what his boyfriend was moaning the night previous: I’m gonna pass out, I know I am.
The only difference was, Mark was correct.
He’d been feeling shittier and shittier as the night went on. It began with spells of dizziness that came anytime he moved his head too fast, then moved on to an ache in his chest every time he coughed. A cold is one thing, he remembered Elijah saying the night previous. Whatever they have is entirely something else.
Elijah the prophet.
He kept pushing through. Plate after plate came out of the kitchen on his aching arms; he shook drinks while coughing into his shoulder, and sniffled his way through seating guests. Mark could feel Elijah’s eyes on him, though his boss refused to speak to him throughout the shift. I’ll show him, his fever-addled mind kept saying. I can do this. I’m fine.
It wasn’t until the last table had sat that his body well and truly told him he’d had enough. Mark was seeing stars when he grabbed a filet and swordfish, and once again he ignored it. He ignored the room swimming before him as he pushed out of the kitchen. He ignored the sway in his step.
“Shit, Mark!” was the last thing he heard, standing in the middle of the dining room with hot plates in each of his hands. There was no way to tell who said it – Elijah? Matt? – but it didn’t really matter, because before he could respond, his vision became a tiny pinkprick, his knees buckled, and the lights went out.
***
When the world came back into focus, he had somehow teleported into his bed.
At first, Mark tried desperately to get up; he’d fallen in the middle of the restaurant, that he unfortunately remembered immediately. There had been people around, guests watching, and he immediately felt his face flame with embarrassment. Oh, Elijah is going to kill me.
That was when he realized he was no longer in the restaurant. Mark placed a hand over an aching eye; was it all a dream? He looked down – no, it couldn’t be. He was still in his tailored suit, the tie and ciff links missing, but otherwise dressed to the nines.
“Whoa there, kid,” a familiar voice came from the doorway. “Go ahead and lie back down.”
Mark blearily glanced towards the voice. There, just outside his bedroom, stood Elijah, a steaming cup in one hand and a thermometer in the other. Fuck.
“Shit, Elijah, I’mb so sorry I ca – HTSHH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Fuck, ’scuse mbe,” Mark, any facade of health finally washed away, used his expensive suit jacket to wipe his nose. Elijah glided across the small room and sat on the foot of the bed, handing the younger man the cup. Tea.
“Save your breath,” Elijah said. “You already apologized about a hundred times at the restaurant.”
He had? Mark gave Elijah a confused look, and sat back on the pillows behind him. He hadn’t even realized he’d come to at the restaurant at all.
“Mmhmm,” Elijah said, nodding. “To me. To Matt. To the guests. To the EMTs. I would think you’d be apologized out.”
EMTs? Mark cringed; as if he hadn’t been embarrassed enough. He wanted to ask, but at the same time he figured it was probably better that he didn’t remember. Small mercies, he thought.
“Lij,” Mark croaked, taking a sip of the tea, “I really amb… sorry. I mbean, I can’t imagine how mbuch I embarrassed you. Thangk you for bringing mbe home… I understand if you can’t…let mbe, uh. Work there. Anymore.”
Mark, destroyed by fever, and aches, and what was probably some sort of bronchitis-sinus-infection super-fucking-hybrid, couldn’t help but let the angry, ashamed tears fall as he said it. Matt wasn’t here, which most likely meant he was out both a boyfriend and a job. You fucking idiot. You stupid, fucking idiot, how dumb could you -
Elijah broke through the screaming in his head – he took Mark’s arms in his hands, placed his cup on the side table, and pulled him in for a hug. “Mark,” his boss said, “you really had us worried.” He pulled the younger manager back, concern painted on his face. “Of course you aren’t fired, I don’t know why you’d think that of me,” he said, a moment so raw that Mark felt like he’d been sucker-punched. “You should’ve just told me you were so sick. So you could go and rest. I would’ve even let Matt go with you.” Elijah patted his knee then, and handed Mark back the mug. “It’s just a restaurant, Mark. You’re more important than service.”
Mark felt his eyes well up once again. Had anyone ever told him he was worth more than the work he did? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure, and that felt like an even harder gut-punch.
“I just…” he managed, wiping beneath his eyes. “I just didn’t wandt you to replace mbe. I’mb sorry for letting Mbatt get mbe sick.”
At this, Elijah actually laughed. “Mark,” he said, “you’re young. You’re in love; it comes with the territory. I was annoyed because Greyson and Matt are constantly getting everyone in that restaurant sick. I wasn’t trying to attack you.” He smiled then, a small and slightly sad smile. “I’m sorry if that’s how to came off.”
Mark didn’t know what to say; he felt awful, like he’d been hit by a semi, and he just wanted to sleep. See Matt. Apologize for being a dick. And sleep.
“Is Mbatt mad at mbe?” he croaked, pulling his legs into his chest. This time, Elijah actually laughed.
“I don’t think Matt knows how to be mad at you,” he said. “He’s just closing up the line; he was actually the one who brought you back here, but you were racked out so I said I’d come keep an eye on you till he got back.” Elijah shrugged, gave a little knowing smile. “He’ll be back soon. Okay? We don’t have to talk any more about this now. Just… try to sleep.” He patted Mark’s shoulder; a fatherly gesture from a man who claimed to know nothing about being a parent. “I’ll call Matt.”
Finally, finally, Mark conceded. He wanted to thank Elijah, or maybe apologize again, but he couldn’t make his mouth form words. Instead, he just nodded, grateful, and sank back into his pillow. He felt his eyes close, and allowed himself, for once, to let someone else take care of him.
He knew, maybe for the first time in his life, that he was safe.
#whiskeyswriting#snz#sickfic#snzfic#snzblr#coldfic#male cold#male snz#whump#whump writing#hurt/comfort#this is such a long fic and does it even make sense??? idk#the beginning and the end are so drastically different it feels insane to even post#but whatever. i've spent like thirty hours on it at this point so it's getting posted#i need to write something fun and silly after this hahaha#if you take the time to read this you're a saint
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Closed doors
#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#shoko ieiri#gego#satosugu#Sooo our city was bombed again at night and I was sitting in the corridor listening to the explosions#Then the air raid alert ended#So I sent the comic to my friend because she lives in the same city as me and she's not sleeping anymore anyway and I told her about this i#And she was like#I'm not going to read the second page because it hurts too much#So I realized that we were just “sitting on the floor of the corridor at night” hahaha#my art
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Me while live posting my nier automata playthrough in blue sky: so I finished route A & B, time to start route C !
My friends: good luck :) you're gonna have the best time of your life!
Me, starting route C: haha wow! I can't wait!
Me, after getting to A Specific Part in Route C:
#I'm having the best (worst) time of my life right now hahaha#it's the section of pascal's village + the children in the abandoned factory haha#HAHAHAHAHA#<- laughter filled with pain#miry's yapping#this is going to get worse isnt it#yoko taro u awful man#why do u hurt me like this
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grinning and giggling and kicking my feet about the placement of this burn mark i see you tlovm twitterrr
#<- no. 1 glintshore enjoyer of all time#i love my bbygirl of all time just as much as i love seeing him get fcked up#percy de rolo#critical role#tlovm#vox machina#tlovm spoilers#<- vaguely.#cr#vm#so so so excited to see what they do with glintshoreeeeeee#tragedy enjoyers when media makes you hurt: HAHAHA YESSSSSSSS
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rgrk 🌙🌑⛓️
SwapDream Nightmare by @song-song-a-deactivated20230619
Nightmare Sans by @jokublog
#i want them to run away together#and to be GROSSLY codependent#or toxic and forced to hurt each other to survive under swad's grasp#they dont even realize theyre doing iy but theyre s t a r v i n g abd theres a source of negativity. right there.#each other's only tether to sanity and resistance in that hell#hahaha anyway#undertale au#swapdreamtale#nightmare sans#dreamtale#swapdream nightmare#I just want them to stare at each other and recoil at what they see in the mirror#but understand#“how could i become that kind of person” but. they know exactly how
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Hey Minnie! How are you doing? It’s been quite rainy and gray where I’m from and its my favourite weather for reading. Do you perhaps know a fic where Sebastian hurts himself (not too badly, just a clumsy mistake) and Chris becomes an overprotective mother hen; taking care of Sebastian and carrying him? Or would you mind writing a tiny drabble? Thank you! Much love, Anon.
Hiii sweetheart! 💗 Ah, I'm so sorry to hear it's been so grey and rainy where you are - same here, I'm so so sick of it 🙈 But you're right, it is perfect weather to read, so that's a silver lining!
As for your question, I absolutely have to rec the wonderful @luninosity's fics Stars Out Of The Blue and Just Like Honey To The Bee, Baby. Two perfectly lovely and slightly angsty (but mostly sweet) hurt/comfort fics 💕
And, because you asked so nicely and it's such a lovely request, I also wrote a quick little thing for you, nonnie. Hope you enjoy! 😘
**********************
“Ow! Fuck!”
At the sound of Sebastian's distressed voice, coming from somewhere nearby, Chris is up like a shot – never mind that he'd only just put his head down for a nap. He flings open his trailer door and finds Sebastian hopping around on one leg in front of his own, neighboring trailer, cursing up a storm.
“Seb?” Chris asks in alarm. “You alright?”
“I'm fine," Sebastian says, though his face, contorted with pain, says otherwise. "I'm – oh shit, fucking ow.”
“Seb, hey,” Chris says, a little out of breath from sprinting over. He grabs Sebastian's shoulders to steady him. “Don't – no, don't try to stand on it! Here, come on, let me help –”
He takes Sebastian's arm and slings it around his shoulder, propping him up. Sebastian, meanwhile, keeps up a steady stream of cursing under his breath.
“I'm such a fucking – ugh, I wasn't even doing anything, I just stepped off the step wrong and twisted my ankle. Who does that, Jesus Christ. Me, apparently, ‘cause I'm a fuckin' idiot.”
“Hey,” Chris says firmly, squeezing Sebastian’s forearm. “It happens. You're not an idiot, Seb, it was just bad luck.”
Sebastian just grumbles some more, leaning heavily into Chris's side. Chris distantly registers how nice Seb smells, but he pushes that useless thought away in favor of focusing on the present.
“Does it hurt badly? Can you walk at all?”
Sebastian gingerly lowers his boot-clad foot to the ground and winces immediately. “Oh, fuck. Nope. That doesn't feel good.”
Chris frowns. “Shit. You think it's broken?”
“Probably not,” Sebastian sighs, “but a sprain wouldn't be great either. I'm scheduled to –”
“Don't worry about that,” Chris interrupts. “We'll think about that later. Right now we've gotta get you lying down and outta that boot. If you're swelling up, we should make sure it's off as soon as possible.” He looks around, seeing if there's anyone else around who might be able to get someone qualified to come over and check Sebastian out, but seeing as it's lunchtime, the area is deserted.
Chris nods to himself. “Okay,” he tells Sebastian, “brace yourself.”
Sebastian blinks and asks, “For what?”
Chris doesn't elaborate, letting his actions speak for themselves as he bends down and slides his free arm behind Sebastian's knees
Sebastian catches on just in time. “Holy shit,” he squeaks, scrambling to get a better hold on Chris's shoulders as he gets lifted into a bridal-style hold. “Chris, what are you –”
“Can you open the door, please?” Chris grits out as he sets his right foot onto the steps leading up to Sebastian's trailer. Oof, Sebastian is a little heavier than he looks.
Sebastian hurries to do as he's asked, and Chris carefully maneuvers them both inside, taking care to avoid banging Sebastian's injured foot – or his as yet uninjured head, for that matter – against the doorframe. Inside, he carries Sebastian over to the worn, black couch in the corner and carefully lays him down on it, with his head cushioned on one of the armrests.
Chris straightens, catching his breath as he looks Sebastian over. His long hair is a little dishevelled, and there’s color high on his cheeks, but Chris assumes that is because of the exertion.
“This okay?”
Sebastian nods, not quite meeting Chris's eye. “Yeah. Thanks.
Chris doesn't stop to think about what he's doing before he drops to his knees next to the couch and starts unlacing Sebastian's black leather boot, which Chris recognises as part of the Winter Soldier costume.
“Tell me if it hurts too much, alright?” he orders, as he carefully starts to inch the boot off Sebastian's foot.
Immediately, Sebastian sucks in a breath through his teeth, his eyes squeezed shut and a pained look on his face. But he doesn't cry out or tell Chris to stop, so Chris doesn't, not until he's got the boot all the way off.
“Good,” Chris says soothingly, “that's good, Seb. I'm gonna take your sock off too, okay? I just need to have a quick look to see what we're working with.”
Sebastian clears his throat. “Um. Yeah, sure.”
Slowly, Chris tugs off the knit grey sock to expose Sebastian's bare foot, and then slightly pushes up the cuff of his pants so he can have a proper look. He hums thoughtfully. “A little swollen, but not too bad yet,” he reports. He puts his hand under Sebastian’s heel, cradling his foot, before very, very carefully turning it inward to test his range of motion.
Sebastian hisses, hand flying up to his hair.
“Sorry,” Chris says, wincing in sympathy. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean –”
“It's fine.” Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Keep going.”
When Chris attempts to turn Sebastian's ankle outward, Sebastian actually whimpers, tears springing to his eyes.
“Fuck, sorry,” Chris says, feeling like an asshole. “Okay, no more, I promise. You're okay, Seb. I got you.” He gives Sebastian's thigh a reassuring squeeze, not letting himself dwell on how warm and firm it feels under his hand. “Let's just keep it elevated for now and I'll get you some painkillers and some ice to put on it while I go grab a medic, alright?”
“Wait,” Sebastian says, hand shooting out to grab Chris's shoulder. “Don't – Please, I don't want to make a whole fuss over nothing. I'm sure it'll be fine if I just ice it for a while or something, right?”
Chris frowns. “I don’t know, Seb. You've very likely got a sprained ankle. That's gonna take more than just some ice. I wish I could just, like, magically kiss is better for you, but I'm afraid that's not gonna cut it.”
Sebastian huffs out a slightly delirious laugh. “Well, we don't actually know that, do we?”
“I mean, I guess not,” Chris replies, smiling. He waggles his eyebrows. “Want me to give it a shot?”
And it's a joke, of course it is, but part of Chris can't help but wonder what would happen if –
“Okay.”
Chris blinks up at Sebastian, feeling like he missed a step on the stairs. “Okay?”
Sebastian doesn't say anything else. He just keeps watching Chris intently, as if waiting to see what he'll do, and –
There are several things that Chris should be doing right now. He should laugh it off, then get up to grab some ice from the mini freezer, and call a medic. He should make sure Sebastian is looked after properly by people who know what they’re doing.
Chris should not be slowly leaning down. He shouldn't be swiping his thumb gently over the arch of Sebastian's surprisingly elegant foot, and he definitely shouldn't be pressing his lips tenderly to the hot, smooth skin of Sebastian's injured ankle, but – that's what he does nonetheless.
At the contact, Sebastian draws a shaky breath. When Chris looks up and meets Sebastian's eyes, they've gone big and dark, the loaded look in them causing a shiver to run up Chris's spine.
“So?” Chris asks finally, voice a little rough. “Think it worked?”
Sebastian swallows, then licks his lips. “Not sure yet.”
Chris drags his eyes from Sebastian’s throat, via his mouth, up to his eyes. “Maybe –”
“Yes?”
“Well, I'm just thinkin'… Maybe this particular case requires a different sort of kiss? Something a bit... less localized.”
“Right,” Sebastian nods, eyes fixed unwaveringly on Chris's lips. “That makes sense. I think we should try that.”
“Okay,” Chris agrees, and then he carefully places Sebastian's foot back on the couch, before leaning up to hover over Sebastian's reclining form.
There, he hesitates – until Sebastian lifts a hand to the back of Chris's head and pulls him down. Their lips meet in a kiss that is both hesitant and inviting at the same time, infinitely thrilling in its newness. Chris closes his eyes, humming softly as he lets himself melt into it, deepening the kiss while still taking care to avoid Sebastian's injury.
He may not be able to kiss Sebastian's ankle better, Chris thinks as he starts to mouth his way down Sebastian's throat, but he can damn well make sure Sebastian feels good everywhere else.
#sebastian stan#chris evans#evanstan#rpf#fic recs#my writing#hurt/comfort#minnie answers#oh and I hope you're not squicked out by feet nonnie 🙈#apologies if you are!#I just think seb has such nice feet and ankles hahaha
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"Why didn't you tell me?"
#masters of the air#e01#hahaHA im taking damage from this sorry guys#this is a strictly one ep per day kind of day kind of show#i love it but it hurts kind of thing#my gifs#more to come yall...#the scientist speaks#tw blood#austin butler#callum turner#gale 'buck' cleven#john 'bucky' egan#notes: 100
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(today is a day for ideas, good Jesus)
This is like my third ask today but I have so many ideas and I have to write them down or I'll forget. Sorry you have to face the blunt of it. This request is kinda sad, that's also my fault
Hobie Brown x reader but where reader had a crush on him but Hobie never seemed to notice but after she gets fed up with it and moves on. After she does this she's much more natural and sure of herself because she's not trying to impress him anymore, that's when he starts to fall for her too.
Please tell me someone else can even slightly see this vision
Thank you, take as long as you need
And I hope you a happy time
I'm gonna turn this request into a two-part fic because I don't think I'll be able to get the whole plot into one lol 😭 thank you for requesting!!
Forgotten Girl Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader Part 1/2
Synopsis: You got tired of running after someone who wasn't interested, so you stopped...only for him to gain interest right afterwards.
WC: <;1k
TW: unedited, somewhat angst/pining, femreader
Taglist: @therealloopylupin2099 @spiderrinn @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @d0ubl-tr0ubl3 @lauryn2558 @sunasslut69 @ask-1610-miles @axels-garden @s6onder
PREV|NEXT(Coming soon)
TAGLIST ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ─── MASTERLIST
He never noticed you. No matter how many times you made eye contact with him, waved at him, batted your eyes at him, put your hand on his shoulder, giggled at one of his stupid jokes, he never ever seemed to realize you were there.
Of course...he noticed you...but he didn't notice you. His head never turned when you walked into the room, he never looked at you longer than he had to, and worst of all, he called you his mate.
The most platonic term you could call someone.
Mate.
Never darling, never love, never sweetheart.
Mate.
"Oi, whatcha doin' there mate?"
You snapped your head to the side to see none other than Hobie Brown, looking over your shoulder with a slight smile on his face, squinting to read the words on the page of the book you were reading.
You flinched forward slightly, not having expected him, before giving him an awkward smile. "Just reading. You?"
"Just watching you." he replied with a friendly grin before glancing back towards where he'd come from. "You haven't seen Gwendy or Pav around anywhere, have you?"
Your expression deflated. "I think I saw Gwen walk past a couple minutes ago. She was heading towards Miguel's room." You said softly, looking back down at your book and crossing your legs together, trying to bite back the waver appearing in your voice.
"Mmm." he nodded, looking back over his shoulder at you. "You here all by y'self?"
"Yep. All by myself." You said as you cleared your throat. His expression softened slightly and he walked back over towards you, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his vest. "You alright?"
"Fine. Why do you ask?" You tried to avoid his eyes, keeping your head buried in your book.
"I just-" He hesitated, "I don't think I've ever talked to you alone before. You're acting a bit...shy."
"I'm not shy." You mumbled, glaring back up at him. "Of course not." He replied, shooting you a sly grin. "Can't blame me for wondering though. You barely say a word to me, so I can't read y'like I can all the others."
"I talk to you often."
"Really?"
"I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?"
He chuckled deeply, looking down and shaking his head for a moment. "Cheeky." You felt your face heat up and you immediately looked back down, clearing your throat. "Hobie?"
"Yeah?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at you playfully.
"You ever thought about being in a relationship?" You asked awkwardly.
"Wot?" He blinked, a smile spreading across his face. "Where'd that come from?"
You clasped your hands together with an embarrassed expression, staring straight at the ground. "I dunno. Just did."
"Well...I s'pose. I never really thought about it. I don't think anyone'd have me to be honest." He laughed. "What about you, mate?"
"I'm sure someone'd take you." You replied, ignoring how he shot your question back at you. "I mean, look at you." You immediately swallowed, looking back down as the weight of your words suddenly collapsed onto your shoulders.
He didn't seem to notice, simply laughing and nodding. "I am a bit of a looker, aren't I?" He teased, standing up straight. "It's all part of the Spider-punk charm." he winked.
"I agree." you smiled gently, looking up at him. You were being fairly obvious at this point, but he still didn't seem to be taking the hint.
That was how it'd always been. It was like he couldn't dream of being with you. He never seemed to notice your badly-disguised glances and awkward giggles. The way you'd adjust your suit when he walked by, looking down at the ground when he was in front of you and almost always refusing to make eye contact.
It was so obvious and still wouldn't realize.
In fact, the conversation was beginning to get tiring. The two of you simply continued, with your attempts at flirting quickly being shut down by how normal he was being.
"I think you'd make a great partner." You'd say, giving him a crystal clear smile, only to be met with a, "Oh definitely. Whoever I end up with is gonna be lucky."
The conversation would continue on...
"Very lucky. I'd kill to be in their position."
"Ha! You're a funny one, mate."
There was nothing you could do in response besides nod and smile, silently begging for some sort of escape. It was so embarrassing that you just couldn't handle it anymore.
And this happened every damn time.
Honestly...was there even a point anymore? It was starting to look like he'd never catch your drift.
Maybe he knew. Maybe he just didn't like you that way.
Yes, that was probably it. There's no way a normal person wouldn't be able to take a hint so obvious...he just wasn't interested.
Sad. But understandable.
"Weren't you looking for Gwen and Pav?" You said quickly, interrupting him. He raised a brow slightly, his expression lighting up. "Oh, right! I'll go find them then. See you around, mate."
He tipped his head towards you and gave you a smile. You returned it, your expression immediately dropping the moment he turned away. You watched his lanky figure leave, releasing your breath in a long deep sigh.
There was no point.
It just...wasn't meant to be.
He didn't notice you.
And he never would.
#hahaha crying again#I love hurting myself#dw part 2 will be out soon pookies#atsv#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spiderman atsv#spiderman#atsv hobie#across the spider verse#spider punk#hobie brown headcanons#astv hobie#hobie my beloved#hobie spiderverse#hobie x reader#spiderverse hobie#hobart brown#hobie x y/n#hobie x you#hobie brown x y/n#hobie brown x reader#spiderverse#hobie brown x fem!reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown x female reader#x reader#atsv x reader#atsv x you#atsv x y/n
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