#//gotta get that plot development
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I went into bg3 fully ready to have a good time and have done so despite many ways in which the game is not good and have not worried too much over various dramas about patch changes but my chill streak has finally ended and I am wailing gnashing my teeth etc. about patch 7 (the supposedly final one with story/content changes) not adding companion reactivity for any of the durge content in act 2
#gotta regain my chill about this. it doesn't change the good version of bg3 that exists in my head#but like. durge is literally the protagonist character. and a huge chunk of story is just bizarrely missing from act two#all the baddies recognize you and no one reacts#warden says you were an important guest no one reacts#kressa says she had a great time torturing you for weeks no one reacts#and it's so misaligned with companion reactivity for everything else. like#I am one of those players who goes around the camp circle talking to every single companion after anything even mildly important happens#to hear the couple of lines of dialogue they have about it#because they've got a couple of lines of dialogue about every plot development and significant moment in other companion storylines!#but they don't have a single word for enormous central plotline revelations about the player character#it makes the act 3 reactions bizarre too because everyone's shocked by what gortash says and it's like#literally everyone in moonrise was like 'oh hey it's you again' what did you THINK 😭#a lot of people complain about the resist!durge final scene after killing orin being lackluster#and yeah sure I feel it's lacking in a few ways but like. at least it exists.#a cutscene does play and afterwards the companions do react. ymmv on whether those reactions are impactful or fitting#but they do--crucially--exist#whereas in act 2 there is straight up nothing#when people say right in front of the companions 'hello fellow villain fancy seeing you back here again'#there is not even so much as a 'dude are you okay' after kressa talks about keeping durge prisoner and torturing them#okay okay it's fine I'm getting it out of my system I'm gonna be normal about this again#the companions had reactions in the good version that exists in my head 😔#scribblingface plays bg3#okay actually also like larian has made so many changes based on fans complaining a lot about something#often changes that made the complaining people happy but pissed off everyone who already liked the current version#not weighing in on the merit of various specifics but it has struck me as a sometimes odd and unwise degree of#listening to what the players want. like just tell your story and accept that some parts won't please everyone#but THIS THING is universally agreed on by every durge player#because it's not something 'wrong' it's something completely absent that should have been there in order to align with the rest of the game#and yet. we don't get this change in the final update.
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A big part of author life is learning to make peace with the stories you'll never write.
#adventures in writing#there are layers to this#one part is learning that not every intriguing idea can or should be a complete story#you can just let it sit in an idea folder as a fun daydream and that's fine#then there are the ones that just cycle through#catch your attention for a while but then fall away#but every so often they come to mind and get developed further#and it's likely that one day maybe some of them will stick around long enough to get written#then there are the ones you have to let go#they interested you for a long time and may even have in-depth developments/significant parts of drafts#and you have to recognize that there were fatal flaws to the idea that prevent it from coming to life#and/or you've moved beyond the person you were then and aren't going to be able to write that story in the way it needs#but some of those still stick in your head#coming to mind and making you think maybe you could revamp them into something usable#and you gotta decide if it's worth the effort or if you should prioritize more recent ideas#because this process is cumulative and gets worse as you get older#today i am very very close to trying to find someone who's read my arateph stories#and asking if they'd let me just spill all the plot points of all the arateph retellings i've never written#some have fatal flaws but all have at least some aspect that i really loved#and it kills me not to have any of it in other people's imaginations#the main character and themes of the princess and the pea one#the character arc potential of the goose girl one#the clever (i think) twist on the central little red riding hood moment#one heartwrenching scene in rapunzel#i don't know if i'll ever be able to write the stories but the ideas still live in me and sometimes it hurts to keep it inside#anyhow have a good day
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omg this day might turn out to be so good actually
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#POSITIVE POST????!???#but anyways I got asked abt what I wanna do after school by a family member I don't talk to often#and that got me yapping abt it and talking abt how I love to develop characters and stories#and then when I mentioned it to my mom my aunt overheard and asked me the same question#and then THAT got me yapping abt the actual plot of my stories#IT WAS SO FUN BC SHE SAID SHE HELPED PROOFREAD A STORY (she said she helped her girlfriend but idk if she meant as a friend or not)#AND SHE (I think self) PUBLISHED A BOOK BEFORE I THINK AND SAID SHE COULD PROBABLY HELP ME PUBLISH MY BOOKS!!!!#AND SHE TOLD ME SOME OF THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO AS WELLLL THAT I DIDN'T RLLY KNOW!!#AND THEN GET THIS!!!!#I have a bracelet that is the trans flag colors and it does have my prns on it (it's normally hidden away under a sweatshirt)#AND AND SHE SAW IT AND ASKED ME WHAT IT WAS#AND ME NEVER BEING ASKED THAT I JUST LET HER READ IT#AND SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOW AND CAN RESPECT IT#I'm so happy guys 🫶🫶🫶#I thought I'd have to explain it to her but I DIDN'T!!!!#anyways I gotta get back out there and stuff#some other family is coming over that I don't get to see even LESS!! MY COUSINS EVER!!!!#I'M SO EXCITED AND HAPPY GUYS :33
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Constantly think about the coolest cyborg society concept I ever seen was the idea of it being in a setting where robots with sentience had been pre-established for CENTURIES and had many wars against humanity but the two finally settled their differences by humanity deciding cybernetics needed to be a mandated law. Every single human needs to be one or else you’re deemed a criminal. Doomed to die if you are against the system. How you can’t oppose the inventible fate of humans and robots merging into one despite how it was forced. Despise how humanity is truly losing what made them humans and aren’t truly equal to the robots-
Then I remembered where this concept is from and starts sobbing how it’s not only not as fleshed out in the series itself it’s from but its “the nichest series within a already obscure franchise” because if Gods exist they really fucking hate what I choose to obsess over.
#meg text#mega man zx#rockman zx#I CAN NEVER. NOT THINK ABOUT THIS LORE. CAUSE WHAT THE FUCK#ITS SO GOOD AND UNIQUE YET THEY NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE IT IN GAME#THE WORLD BUILDING POTENTIAL IS OFF THE CHARTS#granted I love ZX as a game too and I think the plot as is still fine but m a n#I know it didn’t get developed because the yearly cycle fucked over a lot of things#but I wish we got a remake of this series even if Capcom only gonna pour that into their money makers#just imagine telling someone in the robot timeline mega man goes from like-#two old friends form a rivalry about robotics to **this lead to humanity and machines becoming one**#legends is mainly to thank for this even if it’s so weird to place in the timeline but ZX will always tickle my brain more#just because it’s FORCED equality like what the fuck#this saids a lot about fictional society#would’ve loved to see legends and ZX finally bridge the gap but alas that’s never fucking happening#gotta cope with doing fanfics and I’m doing it in the weirdest way possible
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I walked into work yesterday while daydreaming/plotstorming for Into the Fire, and as I got to the back to put my juice in the fridge, one of the yard guys—who had apparently had a crazy morning—greeted me with, "Good morning, Allison. You're jumping into the fire." And it felt like a moment in the biopic about my life as ~an illustrious fanfiction author~.
#plotstorming wasn't a word before but it is now#there was another moment later where another coworker said something that connected to a specific moment in the plot#JUST as I had been thinking about it#but that one isn't fun because they were talking about a case involving real people and it's just sad#and infuriating#k but I got SO MUCH development done yesterday#not writing I didn't have the time for that#but I have a note on my phone filled with jumbles of ideas#it's not gonna#[stopping that thought right now before I jinx it and it becomes novel length]#anyways it's coming along well#I have people interested in it now so I gotta get the ball rolling#but also having people interested is MAKING the ball roll#writer the opposite of problems#ITF
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i did it lads i have done yet another horror game cliche:
spooky dream sequence/flashback when the protag falls asleep/unconscious
#i dont care#its actually plot relevant and not just something ominous for the hell of it#at least there's that#listen i gotta get the 'horror' from 'horror game' SOMEWHERE#game dev#yknow originally i was gonna post this to my main but fuck it. to the devblog you go#it technically is game development so#yeah just to let people know i'm still making things for this game that arent all bug fixes#thank god bc i was getting tired of it lol#game development#indiedev
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okay! all the wipw from this past week are scheduled for tomorrow morning :D set your clocks hehe
#aghhh we didn't quite get to the jean/andrew beef in mafia front bc i had to actually add some real plot. but we're close. so close.#and there was only one each for the other three so... not too much development :') but! i have a lot for next time guys :)#except for vampdrew... i gotta... i gotta get on that.#this week it was angel neil and mafia front that i wrote a lot of. last week was arson neil...#vampdrew has been neglected TWT#diaerie
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hmm yep. got the lae'zel cut scene. finally.
#bg3#gurl took five different long rests after promising me an evening#because i got so much plot relevant shit done#i'm in the underdark and everything!!!#poor mushroom dude only has 4hp so he's going to die soon#i have no party healer and it's not good#gonna develop my durge tav just because she wants to be healed#and no-one's going to do that but herself#on another note the next long rest before bae'zel#i got the making magic scene with gale#who has........Not been in my party. at all.#baldur's gate 3#i'm going to stay with my homie tho#until at least i've confirmed that minthara won't show up later#gotta go back to playthrough one and get halsin so i don't feel bad about letting the grove die
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hate to be a hater on the main … but this season of ted lasso excels (once again) at team dynamic and the found family elements and i think the finale absolutely nailed that, i cried, i laughed, it was perfect on that. now as for the individual stories and relationships… yeah, let’s leave it at that
#(rant below ignore me)#i think making longer episodes allowed them to add stories that felt so pointless to me#what was the point of zava? to make jamie understand something about himself? could have done that better with just the roy plot#i would have understood roy and keeley breaking up of it was like ‘let’s both grow as individuals’#and roy kinda did but apparently not enough because his plot at the end is how he do better so i guess he didn’t#jamie had the best development only to then lose part of it by throwing the random video comment?? like why??#keeley my love … from the random friend that added nothing to the story to an undervelopped love interest plot line … they did u so dirty#why the hell was ted so emotionally off this last episode instead of actually talking the time to proper end things with london and everyone#rebecca was SOBBING and ted was like ‘well gotta go’ ??#it’s not about the ship or anything but what ?? and rebecca … love that she stayed with the club#but to have her end up with some random creepy man she met once and whose name WE DONT EVEN KNOW#i have no issues with ted going home to his son. it makes perfect sense. but it felt so weird#the nate plot was wrapped kinda poorly too??#sam colin and most of the guys from the team were amazing#and the found family and team dynamic was still amazing as always#the beard and jane relationship was always weird to me because it feels like joke after joke of.. abuse?#do they get married or was it a dream?? and if so was the whole sequence a dream? and if it wasn’t WHO DID THE CGI FOR THE WEDDING 💀#we spent more time with these characters this season and it doesn’t feel that way and idk this season felt weird at so many points#I LOVE THIS SHOW I DO!! first 2 seasons are one of my all time favourite seasons of a sitcom!! and i still enjoyed a lot about s3 <33#anyway sorry to be a hater on the main but it was just a weird season to end it on#anti ted lasso#<- i really don’t wanna upset anyone i just felt like ranting a little 💀 pls don’t hate me#ted lasso spoilers
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for the record, if i ever talk about a muse on here that i wanna bring back/start writing, you can absolutely message me about writing with them! i tend to hesitate a lot when it comes to adding muses bc i worry about making my roster too long or that maybe i won't use them very much. but if i'm thinking about them enough to post about them, then you have my permission to bug me about writing them after all <3
#literally the only reason i'm not adding all of arata's bandmates is that i'd be adding three muses to my already lengthy roster#but i'd love to have an excuse to write and develop them#i love thinking about my lil found family uvu#and same goes for literally any other muse i ever talk about#canon characters are a lil different in that they'll require more discussion and plotting bc i really gotta get a feel for#their personality and motivations and whatnot#but still! i'm just saying it's an option since i tend to hesitate over adding muses all the time#get ready to ramble | ooc
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btw here's your reminder that i'm always willing to explore a ship even if our muses haven't interacted yet! if you can see it working, then i wanna hear about it and discuss it! i'm never gonna judge anyone who enjoys shipping when i myself am a big ol' romantic. so long as nothing's forced and everyone's on board and happy, i don't see an issue with wanting to see if two muses end up smooching
#sometimes i'll post lil wishlist things that're romantic like what i just posted for chiyo#and i just wanna make it clear that anyone can write those plots with me whether our muses have interacted or not#or even if we haven't interacted yet#i love developing relationships of any kind and i'm honestly laidback about that stuff so just! don't stress it <3#i say as i myself will get nervous and wait to like any shipping calls until i think the other person won't feel like i'm#only here for shipping asdfgh#but that's why i wanna say this every so often bc i know how i am so i know there's gotta be others like that too#okay now lemme go take a whack at some starters B)#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Probably will add more detail and such as i edit but next chapter of the fic is writen
Also thinking of cutting what I thought I might do for the next chapter but we'll see, I want it but I need to make sure it develops the relationships between these two more if im goinig to include it
Either way deffinite fic update im thinking Friday? That way I'm not dropping same day as wild life episode 2s
#developing plot and characters is hard in a mostly fluffy slice of life fanfic#but also possible chapter 16 would be fun#because its a superhero au so someone might get injured in front of their partner#but you didnt hear that fron me#think i actually just talked myself into writing it.#just gotta also figure out how i want to format texting by the time i publish the chapter in two ish weeks#the other me fic
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So, I was tagged in a "Top 10 Favorite TV shows" post a little while back, and I've sadly lost it (even though I really wanted to do it!):( And thank you to who tagged me in the post. I think it was @i-love-books-because-reasons? If I ever find the post again, I'll reblog it properly. But for now, I'll just answer it this way. (For some reason, I've decided not to included animes or cartoons, because no one did in their lists. Maybe that will be its own list. Or "younger shows," like Disney channel ones. But if I did, Lizzie McGuire would have made it:))
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series (though I'll be listing them separately) - have become my favorite shows of all-time (though they're also slightly tied with Dark Angel). They're just... so good and perfect, with such good writing and themes, and I could analyze and obsess over them for hours (and have), so of course they're here.
2. Angel the Series (mentioned above). - Though it and Buffy aren't exactly like. They're definitely their own shows and I love them both for different reasons.
3. Dark Angel season 1 - I just really latched onto Dark Angel, and have never been able to let it go... which is funny, because I didn't like it that much in the first few episodes: probably because they really went over my head as a kid. -shrugs- But I love my reluctant, badass heroine Max and how she grows. Speaking of Max? Love of my life. The love story between her and Logan is still one of the best written in all of TV to me. And the relationship between Max and her "siblings"--and just learning about this poor girl created in a lab, who had never even been in a house before when she was nine and things like that--has always spoken to me. The "fight the man" and "protect the downtrodden" plot is also great.
4. Tru Calling - It's thanks to my sister that I discovered this awesome show, and Eliza Dushku. The premise is just so wonderful: Tru having the ability to relive days and save people who died before their time. And whenever the show threw a wrench into the usual formula was fun. Particularly when Jack showed up, who was the opposite of Tru: trying to stop her actions, because he thought she was messing with the natural order of things and there would be disastrous consequences to it. The show was really finding its footing when it was canceled. And what the writers released of their plans for what they were going to do next? I cry that we didn't get to see that. But alas.
Smallville - Baby's first show for teens and up:) I have so many fond memories of discovering Smallville... and rewatching the episodes again and again with friends, and between new seasons. Also, watching new episodes when they aired. I feel like the idea of Smallville was great: tell the story of Superboy growing up on a TV show. It worked so well: and made so many people connect with Clark Kent/Superman, who otherwise might have trouble with it. It developed him and his relationships so well... and we won't talk about how well Lex Luthor was also developed (and played by Michael Rosenbaum): the best part of the show to many people. And how genius it was to have them start out the show as friends only to become the enemies they were fated to be. -sobs- Also, as it's been said, we wouldn't have the Arrowverse if Smallville hadn't come first. So credit where credit is due. And speaking of that, this was the time before the MCU and that sort of thing. So seeing hero cameos on this show was so shocking, new, and the best.
Alias - The first badass female heroine I ever saw on live-action TV--and fell in love with--was Sydney Bristow (aside from Xena: Warrior Princess, that I don't remember that well, because I was, like, five when I was watching Xena). Also my introduction to the wacky world of J.J. Abrams' writing. And as wacky as J.J. Abrams can get, and we all know it, I think he did a good job with Alias, and was pretty nuanced and tame here. There was just enough of his Mystery Box stuff to keep me intrigued, in this interesting spy story that I loved. And Sydney Bristow is seriously the greatest, and deserves the world. And Alias actually has one of the few TV endings that I actually like, for the most part.
Kyle XY - Another show similar to Dark Angel, in that it's about a human made in a lab (though that's a mystery for most of S1). And I really liked this show--and its main family the Tragers. Definitely one of the best things ABC Family ever did... and I'll forever be angry that it ended on a cliffhanger.
Roswell - A TV show about what if aliens did crash in Roswell, and lived among us as half-aliens, half-humans. This show is definitely largely a romance, but there's definitely more to it than just that: with some battles with other aliens, the aliens trying to get home, and stay alive from the government trying to kill them, etc. Maily it's the characters and their various relationships that make this show so great. It's certainly a product of its time, early 90's WB, but I'm nostalgic for it and love it too much. And we wouldn't have a number of shows we do today without it. Liz and Maria also have one of the best female friendships of all time. And this show is another one where I actually like the ending.
The Chosen - A TV show that tells what Jesus' ministry was like through the disciples' PoV. And I can't explain just how well made this show is. Seriously. People who aren't even religious watch it and love it. People have compared its quality to Game of Thrones... err, in a good way (I know that can be considered an insult now, after S8). This is what all Christian media should always attempt to be.
Bonus:
Dollhouse - The idea of this show is really neat (with people who have their memories and personalities wiped, and someone else's placed into them, when they're "bought" to live out someone's fantasy), but also hella problematic... though, granted, it's sort of problematic on purpose to draw attention to these problems in real life, but still. This show also becomes completely different by the end, than how it started out (I actually love this plot twist, and won't spoil it for those who don't know). But sadly, it didn't have too much to delve into this twist before it was canceled. But I do still love this show for what it did, and all the potential it had.
Game of Thrones - I loved this show so much, originally. As most people did. But then it really started going downhill when it ran out of books to adapt. Even before that, though, you could kind of see the cracks, with how they changed Daenerys so much... Or how they changed Robb Stark's marriage plot line from being about honor (like how Ned died) to love, etc. But even so, we still (mostly) have a few really good seasons, at least.
#long post#tv shows#shanna's tv shows#there are probably some other ones i could have mentioned like once upon a time or supernatural... but i really started disliking them and#stopped watching and moreso like them at the start or in a 'i can fix them' kind of way. so that's why they don't make my top 10 i guess#i do like gossip girl... but that show also starts annoying me (and technically i haven't finished it yet) so it would probably be unfair t#list it. and i don't think i like it more than other ones on this list actually. i do like it though#i also didn't get into buffy and angel much here (maybe i should have) because i never shut up about them on my blog#so i feel like people already know about them because of that who know me. but maybe i should have. oh well#also... you gotta love how four of my favorite shows have eliza dushku in them. but i'm so not complaining. lol#oh! nbc's chuck was supposed to be on this list as a bonus but i accidentally deleted it. oops#once upon a time in wonderland and boy meets world would also be good bonuses#syfy alice (2009) would potentially be on here if i didn't see it more of a movie and if it wasn't SUCH a short mini-series. but it is grea#lost is another show with supernatural and ouat with me that i really liked at first but oh did it do things#for me i think the good still outweighs the bad with the characters and their development despite the bad ending and so many plot threads#being meaningless but i also completely understand when others feel the opposite way
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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also saying this is so earnest that it makes me wanna vom but i like,,,, miss being in a fandom where people like my ocs as much as i do wwweehhh
#silver jelly#i'm 90000000% talking about arch*r and honestly i need to just rewatch and get back into it full swing y'all are so supportive and kind <3#like idk i don't want to sound ungrateful for the people who Do like/are interested in my op oc i just...........#okay. i really enjoy hearing about people's ocs i really really honestly do; it is for real one of my favorite things.#i'm a storyteller and i LOVE stories; i would be dead without stories.#and i really enjoy when people infodump about the lore!! but i dooooooo notice when i've asked like a dozen questions about Their Guy and#they haven't said one word to me about mine. and that's happening;;;;;;; kind of a lot with these new op people .#i just feel like theeee world's biggest tool being like 'so what do u think about my guy/this plot thing/etc' idk maybe i'm being silly.#and i should probably noooooooottttt be venting about that Here ashdjbfubh i don't think anyone's trying to be mean or doing it#on purpose i guess i just. i thought there'd be like a;;; click? maybe? putting this into words feels so stupid lmao it's fucking crazy how#much of my ego i put on other people caring about my guy. my therapist is nooooot gonna like that jfmbjgbkgm#anyway !! i might spend some time developing my guy and figure out if there's something else that might give me the feeling i want#i've worked so hard making a story that i think is cool and frankly;;; i deserve attention for it jmbjfgkbmg#maybe there's somewhere else that has better rapport like op is popular there's gotta be some somewhere for ocs .#god don't make me take up rp again i won't fucking do it .#anyway maybe tomorrow i'll watch arch*r and do some research (and think about how funny an op crossover would be <3)
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"Maybe we could use this as a brand new start."
@did-i-do-this-write
Elsie reached up and caught her staff from the air. The polished verdis wood caught the fading light of the sun as it fell and it glinted,a flash in the dappled canopy of the forest. With it in her hand she looked more powerful than she ever had before, but this time Nikolaus wasn’t wary of her - not like he had been once. “I’d think I’d like that,” she said, and turned her face to him, the ragged tips of her haircut brushing her cheeks.
Nikolaus felt self-conscious - he couldn’t help it. “I’d like that, too,” he found himself replying. Not quite sure where to put his feet, he leaned back on the rotted log, the moss soft and squishy under his bare feet. “I’d like to do a lot of things with you.
“I’m sorry,” he added a second later, clapping a hand over his mouth. Sweet Serenis strike him down on the spot, he thought he was past these embarrassing blunders. Maybe Kay would do him a mercy as well and cast an ice spell on him. “I, I didn’t mean it like that -”
“Heh.”
Nikolaus froze. Slowly, he lifted his hand from his mouth, stunned as a tree nymph in a garden of wolf-flowers. “You -” he began, a hesitant whisper, and then stopped.
The reason for his bewilderment was right in front of him and she had light blonde hair and a green cape and she went by the name Elisabeth Klaus. Right there in front of him Elsie had smiled, and laughed - a real laugh too, showing her crooked teeth and all. In all the years he’d known her, from two apprentices to Dark Magic Masters to a solitary mage and the woman who’d bought her way in to be his mercenary guide, to a real mercenary who’d sold him and his friends out to the Dragon Empress Samandris under the mountain, he’d never once seen her laugh - her true laugh. It pulled on the scar on her cheek and it was warm and real and he felt as if he’d lain eyes on something he shouldn’t, something far too intimate.
And yet, all Nikolaus could think at that moment was that he wanted to see more of her laugh, her smile with crooked teeth again and again and again.
‘You're always saying foolish things like that,” Elsie swatted his shoulder with a gloved hand. “Didn’t anyone even teach you that all words have meaning when you’re practicing magic? And you call yourself a mage?”
“You know very well what Master Hermann taught me. You were there with me. Slane made you his student for a reason.”
She was silent, then, tilting her head back to the canopy of leaves, cast in dark green shadow from the light above. “And yet Old Man Slane is gonna build up a whole magic school from the ground. A whole bunch of students to replace me, his star pupil, and he doesn’t even care enough to ask how I’m doing.” she laughed again, and her voice was light and airy as the sunlight or the soft gentle springtime in the woods. “And you know what, Nik?”
“What?” Nikolaus asked, hesitantly.
“I’m not even bitter,” Elsie still had her face to the sky, so he couldn’t see her face, but she stepped forward on the ground, one foot in front of the other, so that she was walking in a straight, smooth line forward on the troll-stones littering the forest floor. Her slippers made a soft shhh with each step she took. “I’m not even bitter, because I have everything I need. I’m not his apprentice anymore. I don’t owe Samandris anything anymore, not even my soul, and Kay and Gerda don’t expect me to be their dark mage anymore, because now they have you for that. I think I might be free, Nik. I think I might actually be free now.”
Sometimes he’d felt like the Elsie he’d known wasn’t the Elsie he wanted to know, and right now Nikolaus felt the opposite - like the Elsie Klaus he wanted to know wasn’t the one he’d gotten to know, or the Elsie Klaus that he was getting to know again, right now. Loss carved a hole in him like a canyon eroded by a river at the realization, and he accepted it, because he couldn’t dream of anything more painful, or less brilliant than this. “And does that mean you’d like to finally come with me to my grandmother’s house?”
“Perhaps.” Elsie gave him a predator’s smile over her shoulder, the kind that hunted children in narrow caves of mountains. That smile had promised jjim a lot in the past, but not anymore. This time, it was his smile that promised something to her, and it spread across his face like the rising sun. “And what if I change my mind, Nik? What if I want to go someplace else? Will you follow me then?”
Nikolaus covered his hands with his red sleeves and took his first step toward her. “Always,” he said. “I told you once, Elsie. You’ll always be the Piper to me, and I’ll always follow you to the ends of the Earth. And I always keep my promises.”
‘And you always keep your promises.” Elsie repeated. The space between their feet on the green and red ground grew smaller and disappeared, and he slipped his hand into hers. Her fingers were strong and warm - the hands of a musician, and the voice of a charmer.
“I was thinking we could go to my grandmother’s house and celebrate Christmas with her, help her paint the gargoyles on her gateposts, prank the local mage Guild, all the stuff neither of us ever got to properly do.”
Elsie grinned. “I like the sound of that. I’d like to prank the Guild with you, Nik. I’d like to see them old folk squeal like piggies.”
#i tried to do this#this story is a mess so i dunno why i'm posting it#but it helped me sort out some key points for the characters' development so something good came of it i guess#u don't gotta reblog it or anything like dat#i was kinda thinking of doing a cleaned up version of this too but who knows#zehm tag#because of the plot stuff#my writing#when i write in my journal it gets far too stream-of-consciousness
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