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convxction · 4 years ago

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HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

SPEED: It varies. If i was inspired and motivated, I’ll reply fast, however, i am but a human being my brain farts and even if i have the motivation, words refuse to come out naturally. I won’t use the ‘English is my second language’ excuse, but at times it is really the case. I can imagine the reply in my head but nope what is proper english structure? haha. But yes, my speed can go from SMASH THAT REPLY FAST to um…give me a week?

REPLIES: I can write short and length replies. However, I highly dislike and can’t write the too-much-literature-flowery-language replies. I cannot process what the character’s action is amidst that fancy writing. However, I do not condemn people for writing it because wow that is a talent to be able to write that, believe me. I try to describe things, especially my muse’s feelings, even if there are not supposed to be visible to the other muse, to get my partner to know what they can work within the next reply, or expect at least. But yeah, can’t do fancy writing;; Also, I do not expect my partner to length their reply to match mine; if you can deliver something to work with in one paragraph that is cool by me. I expect the same because i dont like writing pointless things that do not add up to the thread or the character development.

STARTERS: They are cool. I use them to get inspiration when I cannot focus on the main plotted threads. They are a good way to figure out what sort of new threads i want with that muse and mine, or their relationship. Starters whether one line or paragraph etc are cool because they are just set without planning. Cool stuff can happen when winging things. However, I do value plotting because we, myself and my partner would know what we are working with–no sudden surprises that could potentially ruin the thread. So yeah, i like wining and plotting. I take it seriously for plotting things because i wanna know what you are thinking so we can brainstorm; I cannot brainstorm on my own and you go ‘ok sounds good’ and thats it. please, join the idea one-two pass, alright? I don’t mind people suddenly writing a starter if they had an idea and wanted to just try it, though I highly find it disrespecting and annoying when you are not mutual and just write something to FORCE me to interact with you. Plus, using some tropes that are fan-made not canon wise, or just hyper-focus on one trait in a character which could, in the end, paint my muse in a really wrong way. Just, don’t do that, dudes. Really. There are a lot of things in a one muse, don’t butcher the muse’s personality and boil it down to ONE single trait.

INBOX: Keep them coming. The only thing I have is if I ever sent you something, please, for the love of god, do not just delete it if you cant find an answer. I will be waiting for an answer. It is absolutely not hard to come to me and just “hey, so i cannot think of an answer so can i delete it? or you can try a different meme or send something else? or maybe try a different approach or let’s talk about this so i can think of something and get inspired by our brainstorming” kind of thing. I find it honestly, quite rude. If i send you something, please have the courage and courtesy to tell me it is not going to work for your muse so i can try something else. I will do the same of course and i always have. Be sure i will notify you if i cannot think of something for your ask, and most certainly inquire about a way to get around that block.

SELECTIVITY: I used to be open for all back in the day but with how time constraint it is, i prefer to focus on the people i follow only. My inbox is always open for everyone but for plotting and having any relation to my muse you have to be a mutual. I like giving people chances because i’d want that too from people, however, if i cant see our muses click or i tried to approach by asks or IMs and you went cold i’d assume you are having me as part of the count and just soft block you.

WISHLIST: I am very open to suggestions from others, especially AUs and the such. I would like to explore more sides of chro/m even the game lore itself, work on the parallel worlds concept, maybe figure more about g/rima and their birth; how came they to be, etc. all these good mwah *italian hand* ideas i may or may have not already cried about million of time. let me explore...LET ME EXPLOOOOOOORE.

HONEST NOTE: notes? maybe. ok. if you follow me for a ship, be frank about it. because god only knows how many times this had happened and when it does not work for them, they quickly unfollow me (and at time block me lol) i respect people who are honest. if you wanna a ship, tell me. i will then discuss things with you and see if our muses and us, as muns can communicate well. I except the same amount of excitement to come from you as well. one hand cant clap. if im the only one of us who is sending stuff, writing things, or basically annoys you with ideas then dear, please, tell me you wanna this to be over, ok? i want to know that you care about the thing we built together, is it bad? and most of all, if you want to end anything, be polite about it. do not assume i can read mind and know you want to quit. no, i cant read minds, whoops. i am not asking that you talk to me 24/7 at least make me feel that we are not just bound by ‘dumblr rp’ and we are actually friends even if we stopped writing out muses. do not make me feel like i am a part that you could replace whenever you want or just part of the hype at that certain moment when we started the ship and now you just see me and my muse as extra luggage. Going by the inbox one too, please DO NOT drop a thread without telling me. i will not ever stop you just please tell me so i know not to wait and actually start thinking of something new for us. it is your right but hello ~ it is me waiting for your reply~ i at least require a heads-up no more~ i will sing this to you if you want. and another thing, i try not to get into drama here so if something happened and UNLESS it is really, really and extremely dangerous thing, do not get me in it. I will if i found the cause reasonable and not just simply witch-hunting. and oh, another thing. if you have a beef with me, TALK TO ME. ME AND NOT BEHIND MY BACK. i am tired of hearing by mistakes at time that X is talking about me, or Y does not like me. if you have a problem with me come talk to me. crying to someone about me is just …dumb. if i made a mistake i would very much would like to apologize and understand the situation so i do not add to it without knowing. all i ask is…just come talk to me. a lot of the world’s problems will end if people talked and not ASSUME things. thanks. oh oh another thing, !!!!! important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! graphics are not everything. smaller icons size are kind of ugly and especially the weird ass pds used make it hard to recognize the facial expression. please, do not let this aesthetic bandwagon take hold of you. just idk man do whatever you want but it would be nice to think of others who can hardly see a thing. be kind to each other.

Tagged by: i stole it from mah selfu

Tagging: you do it, too~ like a paws~

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks)#//..wink wonk.#//do i sound..aggressive? idk. another thing i cant tell and some says i do ;#q this because it would be annoying to have it twice on your dash haha;#⚔queue.⚔ (signed documents)

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compassionatereminders · 2 years ago

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So, feel free to just delete this, obviously this is your blog lol I just feel like I need to spill it to a 3rd party, I hope that's ok- it's really long though so 100% there is no expectation to read or post it LMAO

So, I got into a big argument with my (now ex) gf where I basically said she and her friends, who said they were my friends too, were pretty much leaving me out of group chat convos and talking behind my back (I know this because they brought stuff up that I'd only told her.) And like- I understand I'm not going to be involved in literally every conversation she has! Some things are just between her and her friends, that's fine, I have friends I talk to without her too! But the fact that *nothing* I told her stayed between us made me really insecure and paranoid, so I stopped telling her important stuff, and then she got upset that I wasn't talking to her as much or giving her as much time. When I told her why, she got more upset and kind of dodged the accusation, saying that if I respected her more and gave her more of my time then we would be better off and I would be a better girlfriend.

I left the group chat pretty suddenly because I was overwhelmed and just didn't feel like I could do it anymore; they all expected me to be online 24/7 even when I told them I couldn't be, and because of this, there were a lot of times where my ex would send a picture of herself, get lots of support from the friends, and then they'd turn this silent spotlight onto me to see what I had to say about the selfie. Then, when I didn't respond bc I was busy, they would all get passive aggressive, and my ex would (I hate to use this word but I cant think of another one) mope about it until I apologized or did something to make up for it.

Recently we all made up, i apologized for whag i said because some of it was mean, and I was invited back to thr original GC, but it turns out they had all been talking bad about me behind my back, saying I was a coward for leaving, i was jealous of her talking to other people, and that I needed to support her no matter what, even if it was something I didn't agree with (we'd gotten into minor spat about abortion rights; im pro-choice, shes not, and it made me upset to find out). I dont really know how to feel. On one hand, yeah- they were supporting their friend who had a (fairly messy? Idk, that was my first relationship) breakup and sometimes a little smack talk is warranted, I won't pretend I was perfect. But on the other... they brought up a lot of stuff I did before we broke up that I didn't realize was a problem. How I don't like group calls because of my anxiety and that made me even more of a coward, how I didn't like sending pictures of myself and that was apparently me faking being insecure for attention, how I wouldn't answer things in the GC immediately even though they knew I had work and at the time was my nephew's most reliable babysitter.

My fight or flight activates pretty much every time I even open the app, but I don't want to just up and leave again because then they'd get mad all over. They haven't said anything to my face, so maybe I'm just projecting my insecurities or something, and I knew things wouldn't be the same as they were before, but I feel like my being back in the group has caused some serious tension. 2 of them clearly don't like me but won't say anything about it. 1 of them claims he's always blunt and will call me out if I go too far or smth, but he never has, and he was a big part of talking about me.

I don't know. They make me want to just ghost them and find new friends but 1. I would feel terrible if someone ghosted me and 2. I don't really have many opportunities to meet new people at the moment. I have 1 friend who isn't part of it but he lives an 18 hour drive away.

I know your relationship dynamic changed recently (in a good way, right?) so I really hope this wasn't like, uncomfortable to read or anything. Sorry for the mega rant

These people sound emotionally immature to the point of being toxic. I don't think you'll regret leaving this chat and moving on

#chat with kat #abortion tw

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atiny-piratequeen · 3 years ago

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Oh okay, in the story I'm writing the character who is being penetrated is the dominant one, and I think it would be really hot for her to train him gradually over time to adjust and be able to accommodate her body, moulding and conditioning his dick as well as his mouth to be able to take her, purely for her own benefit. I'm into d/s and powerplay so I assume this is why I like it. I into everything that comes with it, her "training" his dick to adjust to her pussy including being made to have his dick inside her for extended periods of time as part of his training, as well as him being told to use toys to size train himself on his own. And then slowly introducing different sizes (could be bigger or smaller, honestly I was kinda confused when you immediately started talking about smaller sizes cause in my head I was actually imagining size training to take larger orifices like how you were saying about in my first ask with larger insertions), and how it would be slightly painful/uncomfortable for him at first but she praises him and tells him how good he's being the whole time. I have some sadist tendencies I'm also into the idea of him getting to confident and trying to take more than he can handle at that moment and going to rough and hard and it being painful for him as a result and ending up "bambi walking" as you put it lol (although I feel like this is a different topic to gradual size training, and also even though I find the idea hot I don't actually want to send anyone to the hospital by fucking them, I don't find sexual injuries sexy in real life). Maybe it's weird, but I find the idea of his body literally needing time to physically adjust to her extremely hot, as well as his body being trained to take something it couldn't before and her needing to spend time on with him to help him and prep him properly to take her without being in pain and not risk hurting him if he's not ready for it, I like the vulnerability of him possibly being hurt so she has to help him prep and be gentle with him.

I'm not talking about if the partner being penetrated isn't turned on enough or isn't wet enough, or if they're uncomfortable or in pain, I'm just talking about them training their partner to take them before actually fucking them. Also, what if it's a demon au like with your fic and they literally have a different biology to humans and their genitals are different and so their dick needs to be trained to get used to it (this is not what I'm currently writing, it's just another thought I had).

Obviously using a toy that's way too small can be uncomfortable and cause injury but like you said, that's also true of someone who just decides to insert a 12 inch dildo up their ass no?

"there’s no real reason to train someone’s dick for insertion" "i suppose the only 'training’ you can do is with fleshlights that are a bit small for your dick size but like…thats a bit of an extra step when you should be prepping your partner" Idk tho isn't it kind of weird to prescribe what is the "right" way to do things or what "should" be done or that there's no reason to do something because surely that is down to the people involved and what they like/prefer? It seems you're saying that size training is necessary if you want to have sex with a toy/dildo that is larger than average? And quite a few people liked it so I'm assuming they agree, but what I don't get is what do people do if someone with a larger than average dick and/or their partner don't like or want these roles? Like I assume this must have happened before? You said that words of praise are important but what if the other partner doesn't particularly like to receive praise and would rather give it? What if the person with the larger dick likes the idea of being trained by their partner more than their partner being trained? What if the person being penetrated prefers to be the one to give foreplay and help prep their partner for sex and the big dicked person prefers to receive foreplay and be taken care of and be gently and slowly prepped by their partner?

Like I like having vaginal sex and I'm not into painful sex or receiving pain during sex but if I meet a partner who happens to have a larger dick, does that mean I have to do this if I want to have sex comfortably? Honestly I hate the idea of needing to be "trained" or "prepped" to take someone's dick, just thinking about it is kind of making me feel sick to be honest. I would much rather be the one doing the training and prepping, I want that role instead, but I still want to be penetrated at the same time, so where does that put me?

It sucks that it's not called size training, because for better or for worse the more edgy or obscure the kink or tag is the more attention and notes it tends to get and size related kinks in particular are usually very popular. I guess it just sucks that I see so many writers writing for these kinds of kinks like with your demon au fic and they get so many notes and comments from people who just love it praising them and gushing about how hot it is and it sucks to know that I'll probably never get that kind of attention because like your saying it isn't possible for me to write those kinks in reverse or if I can it won't appeal to as many people because there's no real reason for the act or doesn't make sense like it does the other way around and then I just, feel like I can't compete because I can't write stuff like that or write those kinks because it doesn't work that way around. And then I feel bad for feeling bad or for wanting that same kind of popularity or attention because I feel like I'm being ungrateful or bitter and I don't know how to deal with it. But thank you for talking to me.

I...m not gonna lie like the end of this ask really has a kind of vibe that rubs me the wrong way tbh.

I was going to try and tackle the several points here but on fucking god the way you came at me over this and how shit in here is worded really comes off as fucking rude. I never said every single time someone takes someone larger they need to be trained for it. Your first ask was literally "what is size training" not "does someone always need size training to take a larger person"

People always write things that may not be 'common' or have a specific name for it but the fucking passive aggressive (whether intentional or not) "I'll never get as many notes as you/people who write it like xyz" really rubs me the wrong way and felt like a fucking punch in the face to someone i was trying to help in earnest based on the questions you asked me.

Write whatever you want. But you dont go into someones fucking ask box and basically guilt trip them because of note count just because of a difference in the content you make and how you make it and the way readers consume it.

I cannot tell you how many times I've written something maybe my readers have never seen before or dont quite have a popular niche but people end up loving it. If you're that passionate about your work, write it the fuck anyway but don't ever go into someone's box sideways with the way you spoke to me at the end there.

By the way, what you're talking about sounds closer to cock warming with a submissive male and possible orgasm denial. Because like i said in both asks, you cant really train a dick for tighter things. If HES too uncomfortable taking a partner thats too tight, his partner should be looser. If your female character sits on his dick to get him used to her vagina, thats still her body slowly loosening up and eventually it'll be easier on him. And obviously size training isnt needed in every case and people are different. I never said anything was a hard line in how sex should happen.

#bruh ngl this shit fucking killed my whole vibe and ruined a bit of my night #the absolute fuck is that tone and wording what the fuck?#asks #anontiny

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realcube · 4 years ago

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TW: Angst, 3 AM thoughts LMAO, breakups, mentions of an Ouija board (tho not actually used cause I'm to scared to use it), heart broken pretty boys, idk what else to put-

Ok so I was up at like 3:33 AM bc I was considering on playing with an Ouija board cuz yk I wanted to summon Freddie Mercury and have a singing battle with him. And then I realized that i needed another person to be able to play so I went back to bed. bUT THEN THOTS WERE BEING THUNK.

So I started thinking of like the introverted and respectful boys of hq (more specifically Sakusa, Akaashi and Tsukishima, maybe even Kageyama?? Lol idk anymore). And so imagine that you are dating one of these boys. These boys particularly stand out to me bc even tho they are shy, they aren't particularly social and they aren't really good at vocalizing their feelings, they are extremely good emotional readers. They can notice when something is off about a person, but they won't really say something about it. With that being said, if you ever try to prank them it really won't work cuz: 1. You won't really get a reaction out of them and 2. They will realize the prank before you even get a chance to make it happen. So in hopes that you can actually get a reaction out of them, you decide to do a breakup prank. I mean, its a simple harmless prank right? You were just gonna tell them as a joke that you wanted to breakup with him, get a reaction from your bf, tell them it was a prank, and just get a good laugh after it. But the thing is, the simple prank turned into something so real. You decided you would do it while walking home from school with them. Out of nowhere you just said to them "I think we should breakup, this isn't working" all while trying to contain your laughter at their faces of shock. You were about to explain that it was a prank, but you were quickly cut off by your bf telling you that "You know I was actually thinking the same thing Y/N, I think it's best that we breakup." You quickly turned to face him to see if they were joking, but when you saw their eyes, the only thing you could see was seriousness and uninterest. You tried telling him that it was just a prank! But the dead serious look in his face told you that what he said was for real and well, yeah. You guys ended up breaking up that night, and while the guys were at their houses thinking that their decision was best for both of you, you were literally crying non-stop regretting everything and questioning yourself over what you might have done for your bf to loose interest in you. Months later after the breakup, you got over them and you were living your best life. Meanwhile, the boys after some self reflection, they realized that all that time they were actually in love with you, but they were scared over the feeling of love. They never actually wanted to breakup, but the new feelings they had back then scared them. And instead of bracing you as they should have, they pushed you away. And now all they can do is stare from a far see you happy as ever hugging your new lover, wondering if they could just travel to the past and tell you how much they love you. But sadly, that will never happen, bc now you were in between the arms of another man. To be more exact, you were currently hugging, kissing and giggling their best friend(oH hOw tHe tAbLeS hAvE tUrnEd) (also LOL for example, you were with tsukki so now you are with yamaguchi, you were with sakusa so now you're with komori, you were with akaashi so now you're with bokuto and you were with Kageyama so now you're with hinata LMAOOO).

OMG SORRY FOR SENDING ANGST LMFAO 😭 BUT THIS HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD AND I CANT GET IT OUT- ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD DAY CUBE-CHAN!

-🍦

wait you need two ppl to play on an ouija board? hm, i had no idea..also a singing battle with freddie mercury ?? lemme join ✋😳 ik i said i can’t sing and i’m not exactly a queen stan BUT aggressively singing bohemian rhapsody at a demon in your loft like it’s a spirit repellent chant sounds like a vibe :))

also omg :o I LOVE IT 😭 maybe i am on an angst high but i just- yes. i adore everything abt this. it appeals to all of my taste buds: ‘harmless’ jokes/teasing/pranks gone extremely wrong, pining exes and the trope of breaking up with someone and dating their best friend 🤠👍

you’re a genius, 🍦anon- ALSO YOU’VE GIVEN ME THE IDEA TO WRITE SOME OUIJA BOARD SCENARIOS WITH SOME OF THE HQ CHARACTERS ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ THANK YOU !!! also, in the words of that one girl who did a mukbang in her car, [you] have the the mind of a mastermind :o so pls don’t apologise for the angst, it was like a cleanse (★‿★) i hope you have a good day too!!

#🍦lovely #chattingcube

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choconanime · 5 years ago

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[[Pomefiore choco]]

Currently trying to stress relief,barely can sleep,head hurts and still have work to do but even zo have Pomefiore Choco au the timeline where she didn't run away from a certain attack in her past and decided to help on her own accord,ending up just Like lotus,losing something they feel proud of themselfs.Chcoo was her eyes and now she has no sight,because of this events 3. things:

1. shes always angry and very snappy

2.she always has her tail out to help her tell the way of objects infront or back of her

3.This au she and lotus are inseparable,becoming Choco guide and Choco becoming her voice(Og Lotus hate Choco with passion and Choco doesnt even come near her)

•Very unfriendly (wow from every au shes the least friendly one)

• Pomefiore choco is the only au were shes constantly heard singing

•Even when singing her songs sound mysterious and sad but oddly relaxing?

•Use songs to call for lotus when she get separated or when she trying to find someone nearny,surely her voice will get someone attention.

•when she's alone ,she becomes less aggressive...just a tinny bit

• Has no insecurities this girl is full rounded sure of herself while not narcissistic she just believes in herself a lot in terms of independently and emotionally

•Physically she doesn't care much but tries to keep up her physical appearance with the help of lotus

• has the brand of having her make up look messy like she cried,whenever she actually has cried or not is a myself

•Who's trey?idk know him,legit she doesnt in this au she would care for anyone else that isnt Lotus or another character I will introduce

•her other sences become more stronger,while not as strong in human form,dormouse form can hear the faintest of steps which to her annoyance is very loud n pisses her off.

•her personality started to shift when she used to talk for Lotus sake,who Lotus had a very strong personality and she only adopted that personality becoming very defensive.

•Hates flying with a passion,it scares her,she cant feel and even worse see what she doesnt so it send her to a panic state

•if for some weird reason you stubbornly try to be friends with her and she accepted you,that's great bc now you have less possibility to die and a great friend who will happily drug someone for you

• Let's say you somehow you made her happy and not piss off at you,her past cheerful voice of the usual Choco we know comes back,doesnt last long

• Her eyes are actually cursed,is not going go be an easy fix since you'll have to go back and convince/kill the fiend that cursed her to break half of the curse.

• Since the fiend was never killed,lotus magical items to be capable of talking was never made.

• choco...has some weird accessories on her from having fake eyes on a bottle to liquid that looks like blood,or is it blood?

• Choco does indeed cry a lot in this au but is bc she can't see and it feels frustrating bc it feels like shes missing out which in return also makes her angry.

• Around her room at night can be heard singing lullabies

• By day shes super sleepy by night shes super awake,like a normal dormouse

• Only thing making this girl smile is lotus,his "big bro"thats somewhere around school guarding,sweets and medical drugs and healing books

• her laughter is compared to a child laughing, sounds very childish??and innocent???She simply sounds cherrful,,her opposite of her usual demeanor

• Doesnt like new people at all,doesn't like parties bc is so loud, doesnt like the day bc everyone awake,more than 2 people talking can cause her a headache if she tries go focus on both,simply put this girl is made for solitude

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #my art #art box #choco

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an-everything-blog · 5 years ago

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Everything's Different

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Language, some angst

Summary: You were best friends with Billy, kinda fwb but not really? Anyway you confess your feelings and he don’t know how to deal. Strongly inspired by the song Body Ain’t Me by Pink Sweat$

Word Count: 1.7K

Author’s Note: I’m obsessed with writing for Billy rn idk why. I think s3 just really got to me. But anyway I’m usually not a big fan of song fics, but these songs just keep making me think of Billy! I highly recommend listening to the song, it’s very good!

Used to know you, but I don't know you now Everything's getting so blurry now Vision hurting, I can't stand the look of you now Everything’s different

Another night, another party, another hookup.

It’s been like this since May. Since the day you left him. It has been three months since he’s seen your beautiful smile. It’s all his fault. He’s the one that can’t properly love. You gave everything to him and he threw it away.

Billy shook his head aggressively trying to get the thought of you out of his head. Most nights he finds himself getting drunk to the point of forgetting the look in your eyes the last day he saw you.

Billy downed another shot of Jack and threw his arm around the nearest girl that was more than willing to follow him up to an empty room.

I heard you're movin' back from out of town I heard you travelin' all these miles and miles Tryna get back to my love, but it's harder now Everything's different

“Did you hear (Y/n) will be back on Monday?” Lauren said to Stacy in a low voice in hopes no one would hear her. To Billy’s dismay he caught your name and he physically couldn’t stop himself from listening. He was leaning against his car in the mall parking lot smoking a cigarette while waiting on Max to finish doing whatever she was doing. Lauren and Stacy were only a few cars down making small talk before they went their separate ways.

“Yeah I heard she was coming back from her internship! Did you know she had the option to stay, but word has it she is coming back for Billy Hargrove! Can you believe it?” Stacy laughed. Billy pushed the smoke out of his lungs in shock. She was coming back for him? After what he said to her?

“Well yeah I can believe it! She is desperately in love with him! It’s sad honestly. Seeing her draping herself all over him. I heard that he dumped her ass though and that’s why she left. Sad.” Lauren shrugged making Stacy giggle. Billy threw his cigarette down angrily. Half the shit they were talking about was bullshit. Billy hates small towns like this because word gets out quick and then it all turns into bullshit.

Billy turned and threw open his car door and deflating into his seat while hitting his steering wheel. You shouldn’t be affecting him this much. It has been three months and he most definitely didn’t have feelings for you. So why were you always on his mind? Why were the color of your eyes always in his sight?

He turned his key in the ignition aggressively and pressed down on the gas speeding past Lauren and Stacy and past the town forgetting about Max entirely in the process. He needed to get you off his mind...

I can't lie, I want you on me And girl, I wanna love you closely I don't want nobody on you If that body ain't me, body ain't me I lied when I said I hate you Baby, I was tryna get through

“I hate you! Get out! Just leave me the fuck alone (Y/n)!” He yelled abruptly. He was gripping his steering wheel much too tightly and he was looking forward refusing to look you in the eyes. You noticed his eyes were brimming with tears as yours were already falling. You didn’t understand and you wanted to hold him or shake him to try and grasp why he’s acting this way.

You told him you loved him. You hadn’t told him that yet because he hadn’t officially asked you to be his girlfriend. Yet he would always hold your hand and call you baby at the end of the day. And it was true. You did love him. Too much that you couldn’t contain it anymore. You loved the way he gave you that special smile that was only reserved for you. You loved the sound of his genuine laugh that you heard so rarely. You loved the shape of his birthmark right in the middle of his back, so small that not everyone would notice and you most definitely loved the way he cared even though he claims he doesn’t.

So when he pulled into your driveway and he kissed your cheek so tenderly you murmured it to him against his cheek not thinking twice about it. This made him freeze immediately and you feared you made a mistake.

You continued to look at Billy in shock at his confession. Hate is such a strong word and it made you flinch the moment it left his beautiful lips. He couldn’t possibly mean that right? Yeah he was upset when you told him you’d be leaving for the summer for your internship, but you didn’t think he’d be that upset by it.

You didn’t say anything as you slowly reached for the door handle hoping he would take it back, but he didn’t and your heart dropped like a stone on your stomach. You pushed the door open and closed it harshly before quickly walking into your house. You looked out your window watching as Billy beat his steering wheel before hitting his car in reverse and speeding down the road. You pressed your back against the door and slid down slowly as you stared blankly at the floor.

I don't want nobody on you If that body ain't me, body ain't me I've been hearin' voices, can't get 'em out You still playin' cool, but I need you now Vision clearer, I can see it all better now Everything's different

Billy was already four shots in the party he was at and the thoughts of you were well on their way out of Billy’s mind for the night as he eyed the crowd for yet another girl he could capture. Ever since you came back to town his thoughts were louder than ever. He hated feeling this way so he did what he did best. Drank away his feelings. Spotting his next target he started making his way over to her.

Suddenly his beer fell to the floor and he realized someone had bumped into him.

“Hey, fucking watch it-“ he exclaimed turning around.

“Oh my gosh I’m sorry-“ Billy gasped inaudibly hearing that voice. It couldn’t be. He turned fully and stumbled a bit getting a whiff of the perfume you always wore. Fuck. He cant do this right now.

You looked up to him in shock not expecting to see Billy so soon. He still looked so beautiful and your heart twitched seeing that head full of curls. You noticed he looked scared and you hated that you made him feel like that because you were the one that he went to for everything. He quickly stumbled away from you and out the door.

Billy gasped for fresh air as his heart dropped and stomach turned. He didn’t expect to see you so soon and he most definitely was not prepared for it. He wasn’t prepared to see those eyes or the curve of your nose. Your beauty struck him in the face and he immediately noticed that you got a trim on your hair and he hated that he noticed something so minute about you when he told himself he didn’t care for you.

He then suddenly realized at 12:43 in the morning, that he loved you too.

Yeah, I know you got a whole lot to figure out Just know that I'm always here for you girl, no doubt Before buildin' up, sometimes gotta break it down Everything's different

It had been a few days since you seen Billy at the party and you have to say, you were pretty shaken when you saw him. You knew you still loved him, but you thought maybe it would be a little better seeing him. As it turns out it made it that much harder and your feelings immediately came back stronger than ever. You sighed trying to will him away from your thoughts like you’d been doing all summer.

There was a soft knock on your door and without thinking much of it, you hopped of your kitchen counter and pulled open the door. You gasped seeing him.

“Billy..” You sighed before he spoke up.

“No, please before you say anything just let me say what I have to say, okay?” Billy said softly looking into your eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything so you just nodded.

I can't lie, I want you on me And girl, I wanna love you closely I don't want nobody on you If that body ain't me, body ain't me I lied when I said I hate you Baby, I was tryna get through I don't want nobody on you If that body ain't me, body ain't me

“Look... I know what I said was... awful. Like really awful. But I hope you know that I lied when I said I hated you. I could never hate you. Like ever. And I’m going to be honest here, when you left I became a complete Jackass. I slept around a lot and drank a whole lot more. That’s not fair to you and I’m sorry. I was just trying to get through all of my thoughts and trying to push them away at the same time. But when I saw you the other day I couldn’t run from it anymore.” Billy breathes out pausing for a second. You look into his eyes hopeful before he inhales and continues.

“I am in love with you. And it scares the absolute shit out of me and obviously I didn’t know how to handle being loved back because I fucked this all up and I’m just sorry. I understand if you need time to think or just don’t want to see me. I just had to tell you.” He concluded looking to see your reaction.

“Oh, Billy...” You sighed sadly. You felt so many different things and you had no idea how to form the words. Instead you curled your fingers gently in his hair and pulled him close before pressing your lips to his. It was slow and sensual and it poured all the emotions you had been feeling throughout the past few months: longing, sadness, frustration, but most of all love. You smiled into the kiss at the realization that Billy Hargrove loves you. He’s in love with you.

“I love you Billy Hargrove.” You murmured against his lips like you had done months previous. Except this time Billy gave you that smile that was only for you.

“I love you more, Baby.”

#billy #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy stranger things #stranger things #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst #stranger things x reader #dacre montgomery #hargrove #dacre imagine #dacre x reader

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quackspot · 4 years ago

Note

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.”

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

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themcfuckups · 6 years ago

Text

ok, below is an rp i and @monty-enzo did, it sorta peters off when i guess i left the rp mood, which is why it switched from first person? to just us talking about them. (also my end started out not rp-like bcuz idk i do that sometimes when i dont feel like typing real rp responses) warnings: some nsfw at the end, otherwise its fairly safe word count: 2069(nice)

Monty was a mess, he said he would be home in a while. But his 'while' had dragged on to longer then he wanted. When he got home he just collapsed on the couch, too tired to move too upset to clean up. To much pain for anything else. He takes out his phone and looks at it bleary eyed, then deletes the messages then texts Oscar. Sorry I'm late. -M Are you still home? -M I hope you made yourself some dinner. -M Please don't wait up for me. -M He drops the phone onto the ground and lays with his face in the couch.

oscar was prob crying bcuz he was lonely and sal prob hung out with him till it got late then went home, and the lonely part isnt montys fault, oscars just really extroverted and has a need to be around ppl a lot. but when he hears montys back he'd immediately go greet him. sit on the floor next to the couch and be like hi im glad ur home bby

Monty felt sick, and the expectant look on Oscar's face made his stomach turn. What was he supposed to say? He didn't say anything he just started crying and clung on to Oscar. "S-stupid, h-hormones." he sniffed. "S-sorry I hic took s-so long t-to sob come ho-home.."

Oscar wasn't expecting the burst of emotion from monty. he hugged him from the floor, rubbing his back "aw hey, what's wrong baby? who's ass do i needta kick?" he said the last part with a hint of aggression, always ready to throw down if someone hurt monty in any way.

Monty sniffed trying to get his words out without sounding to blubbery, "Atlas invited me over.. to introduce me to someone I never met." he wipes his face. "It was my dad..." he mumbles "Then Atlas got mad when I said he couldn't come to the wedding..."

Oscar wasnt sure how to respond to that. he'd always assumed monty's parents were dead, since he'd never heard mention of them. but of course, the main thing that rung in oscars head was that atlas was the one who'd upset him. he leaned back to cup his face and kiss his forehead, with sincerity and a small smile "do ya want me to punch him? i can punch him for ya."

Monty actually let out a weak giggle at that "No his face has to be pretty for the wedding you know..." he wipes his face and snuggles with Oscar. "I just dont know how he expects me to suddenly allow someone like that, back into my life..." Monty choked up again "He didn't want me."

oscar nuzzled him, happy he'd gotten a smile out of him."well, he made tha mistake of his life, clearly. look at what a wonderful person he missed out on knowin." he wasnt fond of thinking about family that didnt want him, but he could relate a lot to it, and he didnt want monty to feel alone in it "if it helps any.. my dad didnt want me either. i was told he seen me after i was born in the hospital and jus left then and there.. but ya know, fuck em. theyre just shitty people who dont give a fuck about their own kids.. id bet money their ribcages are empty." he said the last sentence with a sneer.

Monty didn't want to dwell on the subject any longer, so he just smothered Oscar in kisses. In his mind he claimed they would be the better dads and not leave their kids and never look back. He slides off the couch and carefully sits in Oscar's lap "Were you able to get yourself some dinner?" he asked finally, "Also you smell like Sal," he leans close and sniffs him. Sure he didnt have the smelling power Oscar's moms did but he could still smell that.

oscars tail thumped the floor a little before he controlled it to stop, happily kissing back and cuddling him close "wasnt hungry, and sal hung out with me for a bit. they got some dinner for me before they left, think its chinese.. ya wanna eat it?"

"No, I'm not really hungry... I don't think the baby was to happy I got upset.. and kind of hurt me a little." Monty rubs his stomach slightly then rubs Oscar's. "And how are you my little turtle dove, did you get lonely too?" he coos and smooches Oscar's stomach.

oscar grins lopsided and does his best not to wag his tail again at the cute display. he was really getting tired of this tail business. the small fetus responded by giving a weak little kick, "heh, i think they missed ya too. looks like ya got two number one fans now, huh?" it takes him a moment to backtrack to the first sentence, grin dropping in worry "do ya feel ok? should we go to tha doctor? are you bleeding? are they moving?" barage of questions as his hands moved under montys clothes to gently feel his stomach.

Monty slightly tensed under Oscar's hands and his face colored "Yes I feel fine, no we dont need a doctor, no I am not bleeding, and yes they are moving." and just as he said that Shiloh turned over, the movement felt against Oscar's hands. Monty shuddered a little knowing that Oscar's fingers would reach where the strap would be if he had a bra on. Which he promptly removed as soon as he got home.

oscar grinned at the movement, feeling his soul flutter in response. that was his baby in there, a tiny little thing he made with monty. he completly ignored his tail thumping the floor now, too concentrated on monty to care "youll tell me if ya dont feel good, right? and you should eat, what if it's hungry?"

He smiles softly "Of course babe, I'll eat for them, and I will tell you if something is wrong." Monty gets up with a little effort and waddles into the kitchen for some cinnamon oatmeal and milk. Something warm and yummy and filling for the baby.

Oscar didnt have nearly as much trouble as Monty did with getting up, following behind him and being what some would consider an absolute annoyance, hovering, rubbing his shoulders , ect. Though at least he helped assist monty on getting items. He got a text, fishing his phone out to glance at it before shoving it back in his pocket without giving the words of the text a second thought.

Monty honestly didn't mind Oscar hovering him, he had been used to it for a long time, and knew how to do things without tripping over him. Monty made dinner and while he was working on it watched as Oscar got a text "Who was it?" he asked seeing him shove it back into his pocket, concerned. "You okay babe?" he frowns stopping what he was doing and turning around to give Oscar his undivided attention.

Oscar looked at him a little confused, almost already forgetting the text. "Oh, it was jus ma." They had left for a few days to go deal with something else, but both texted him several times a day to make sure he wasn't slacking on taking care of his baby. Monty turning his attention towards him though, he crouched to nuzzle him again, being his ever affectionate self and ignoring whatever his mother had told him.

Monty had finished making the oatmeal, since he wasnt entirely hungry, though it was for Shiloh's sake. He kissed Oscar for a moment then turns to get his bowl and starts eating, "Was it something important? You shouldn't ignore her texts."

Oscar sits down, frowning a little "I'm not ignoring her, I seen it, it was just about-" he glanced at the bowl and frowned more, looking guilty "oh.. hm.." he fiddled with his sleeve a bit "I guess I should eat too. Heh.." its not that he was trying to not take care of himself, it just didnt really click as important to him unless he actually thought about it.

"So, you didn't eat when Sal brought food over?" he asked as he spooned another mouthful of oatmeal into his mouth, he felt the baby shift inside of him. Rubbing his stomach "There there little one you'll get some food it will just take a little bit." Monty sits on Oscar's lap "Aahh." he holds a spoonful of oatmeal to Oscar.

Oscar shrugged "put it in the fridge, that's why I asked if you wanted it.." he felt bad now for neglecting his baby. And stupid that he needed to be reminded of something so simple. He still smiled a little at the cute offer, eating the spoonful before kissing montys neck "if only eating you out counted as a square meal, I'd never forget to eat." He sat monty in his place, going to grab the food hed put in the fridge since he didnt want monty having to share his meal with him.

Monty blushed, though looked down when he got moved "Oh," he frowns he didnt really want take out "It was very nice of Sal to bring you some food while I was away." he stated eating more of the oatmeal, even though he wasn't exactly gone very long. Though again just thinking about it had his mind full of thoughts. His dad, suddenly coming back into his life which he had no idea he still was alive. Why had Atlas not said anything until just now? Monty stopped eating. -------

m- I guess Monty would of just told Oscar hes not sure what to think about inviting his dad to his wedding, and hes not happy Atlas didn't tell him his dad was still alive until now and hes not even sure he wants Atlas to go. Like 'you cant just forget about that and not tell me.'

o-Oscar wouldnt know what to suggest, just be like 'follow ur heart'

m-I think Monty would be mad for like a while and fuckin extreme clean the house. which .. Oscar should stop him since hes pregnant -v- dishes, scrub the floors, counters, wipe the walls, dust. vacuum

0-Be like bitch stop that and sit down

m-babe lift the couch for me >:V

0-Massages his feet and kisses his toes

m- Monty just dsklhsdf and blushes hes ticklish slightly

0-Oscar's like if u want a workout, just bend over and I'll help you with a much better one. That doesnt include possible bad cleaning supply smells or toxins. Just nice organic stuff

m- fklshd Oscar is like "Welp time for baby yoga lets go." Monty gets down on the floor on all fours and sticks his butt up in the air. "Yeah I guess this helps." fksldhf

0- Well he meant his dick, but that works too

m- summon the dicco :V and I know you did I think Monty might end up crying during sex though cause hes super emotional lmao "Babe can we just snuggle.. Im sorry" sniffle

0- hed kiss him a lot and hold his hands "We can absolutely snuggle" Rub his tummy His dick can wait Like shhh it's ok, I can get off later, I just wanna smooch u and make u feel loved

m-hlkfhg Monty keeps pushing his plump lil ass against Oscar's hips like "plz fuck my thighs"

0-WELL ITS HARD TO REFUSE IF U DO THAT MONTY

m-dslkfh do it oscar stick your dick between those plump thighs meng give him a good ol squeeze.

o-Fine but hope montys prepared to have him panting and groaning curses against his neck

m-klshdf Monty is super blushy and still got tears from crying before but now hes fucking aroused and shit might fucking nut just from the rubbing

o-Hell yeah, dick rubbing over his puss Nuts all over his thighs and tummy

m-Monty is all panting and just gives him sloppy kisses clinging onto him "Thanks babe I feel a lot better now." nuzzles his face. - theeeen starts crying again "I love you so much." -sobs

o-Hfgdgdxvhfhg oscar just peppers kisses all over him and tells him how sweet and perfect he is

m-Monty turns and snuggles into Oscar touching him all over and cuddling up to him. Then probably just falls asleep against him afterwords tuckered out from stress -------end

#oscarrp #rptag

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shadowed-moonrise · 7 years ago

Text

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

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daydreamin808 · 6 years ago

Text

BROOOS😂😂😂my god this is another diary entry cause I like to vent about my life on here and um..some bizarre shit has been happening umm ya uh it’s so awkward to tell lmao SO BASICALLY last night was wild I..don’t...even...know

So I have this friend who I kinda have a crush on so she hits me up and her and her friend come over and we go to my pool it’s like 10pm. I bought these percicets off a guy months ago and finally we decide we wanna do them so throughout the night me and just her (not her friend) take 5 each and honestly we didn’t feel much and we were mixing with alcohol (which don’t do apparently it’s very dangerous but js we both felt fine) and her friend was just drinking whateverrrrr

So we decide to go swimming at like 11pm ish and we all strip to like bra and underwear and we’re just chilling vaping, drinking wutevr

Then some other irrelevant shit happens and now it’s like 12am and we decide to go back in the water and also her friend really wants to kiss a girl cause she never has and she’s straight so me and her (we’re both ain’t straight lol) agree and it’s wtevr! Like I think you know where this is going...

So ya ummm we decide we wanna skinny dip so we take the bras off and like (aOg H MY GOD I LITERALLY CANT TELL THIS IMMMMM😩😂😂) we start feelin up each other’s titties ok idfk why were just all curious

Then we start making out. Ok so they kiss first and it’s the friends first girl kiss and then I kiss her and my crush friend (we’ve made out before this isn’t our first time lol) is all claiming I’m a good kisser and shit and whatever and then I was too shy to ask her yet but she goes “we haven’t kissed in awhile do you want to” and like before she even finishes that sentence I’m like “yes” and we just start like ya we’re both kinda aggressive kissers and are like eating each others faces off and her friend SAYS AFTER WERE DONE “y’all kiss like y’all wanna fuck each other” and I’m just like,..silent cause THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANNA DO TO HER lmao sorry and I didn’t look at her face but she was quiet too so idk what she was thinking 🤔👀👀 but judging by her silence...anyway

That goes on awhile we all start making out and TJIS IS SO FINNY so we’re all topless and we decide we wanna three way kiss idfk so we all have to like get in a circle...and oh my god this story I wanna die ya that happened it was as weird and awkward as it sounds

So um anyway other stuff happened that’s not as important and I don’t wanna disclose it even on here. It’s between all three of us. but last night I finally got to make out with her again (it’s been 3 months since last time) and I got to feel her titties lmao which are very nice by the way:) and on a much more serious note, which I don’t really wanna get into, I found out why she was being so distant with me lately (CAUSE LITERALLY SHE WONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE and I was high key suspicious something happened) and it hurts me to admit. Like so she really likes this other bitch who isn’t me (oh my god if I cry I swear to go I didn’t even care when I found out) and she was lit crying about it last night and I’m just like..quiet cause she doesn’t know I like her still (but I think she suspects) but it’s whatever I’ve gotten over it for the most part and now we’re just friends who kiss a lot lmao idk she likes making out with me though (: she told me :) that I make her like really flustered :) but she doesn’t like me🙃 she just likes my lips bros

Um but mainly I’m sad cause I thought I lost her guys. And like I didn’t know why and I never came on here to talk about it cause I truly didn’t know what was up with her and it’s really sad on her end cause she feels like she hurt me and ugh I needa talk to her fuck I don’t know why I didn’t last night I was just like too shook. But she feels like a burden on me which is kinda hilarious cause I literally miss her all the time and she’s such a bitch I was so pissed off. I still needa fix things she’s so fucking complicated all the time.

Um what the fuck was this. Okay that’s all. Ya, that’s it bye😶😶😶

#i wanna die but also im happy but also fuck her #but also i love her and it hurts but fuck that #tumblr diary

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ts-akhmim · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 6 | “His best Amanda Kimmel "Go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation” - Liam

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ryrU-tXQbMyAa2Sl_GFiJb61i6qUNY-x/view?usp=sharing

aj went home??!?!?! hello!? JAKE SURVIVED SO THERE IS A GOD

Who feels like shit? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And now I remember why I feuded with Jakey... he literally did what ever he wanted. Which is very inconvenient for the rest of us. I know he put my name down. Granted 3 minutes ago I was sure it was Dan but after briefly snapping at him I put it together. Dan, 7:21 PM Seriously I’m not mad about it ahha I can see how my words were taken. And then I definitely said this afternoon we hadn’t talked and that was why I thought you would be the vote on my end Yeah you were a target before AJ started throwing my name out. I own up to that 100% So now it's time to play voting detective... yaayyyyyyyyyyyy (em llik) This entire vote started off with Jakey and Dan. Dan claims that he didn't bring my name up, but it would be an ass pull for Jakey to come to me with Dan wanting me dead immediately after the immunity challenge and then suddenly manifest it. Jakey immediately comes to me and I immediately come to the Dumb Betches (tm). I want Dan out but it's just not realistic as the other side isn't as comfortable playing with a pure beauty team. Next day we form the Thots R Us alliance and Jakey and Scott plead their case for AJ to leave and we, like idiots, go for it. Dan continues to campaign for me. Devon gets into the mix at some point and tells Dan that AJ is voting for him. Dan changes his vote. Now according to Augusto around this point, Jakey mentioned the possibility of having an extra vote before completely shutting it down. Claiming it to be "unnecessary". I think this sparked the idea to tell AJ about the vote under the guise of "golly gee I don't wanna vote for Dan because honor and stuff so I'm voting for you". I assume it's around then he wrote my name down. Like a bitch. Sorry I'm trying to be less hateful and aggressive but man it's harrdddddddd. My guess is that he wanted a beauty out no matter what and figured he'd have better luck convincing the others to vote for me in a situation where an idol is played. He probably also wanted me and Dan to turn further against each other. Unfortunately for him, I spent all of my impulse control that day on not chewing Dan's head off and I snapped immediately afterwords and so some things were cleared up. It has to be Jakey not just because of all the things lining up and not just because it is in his character but I genuinely can't imagine anyone else doing so. - AJ and Amir are loyal hoes. Plus if one of them did something that absurd, it wouldn't exactly benefit them. It puts strain between our relationships with the other players and honestly I don't know why they'd waste a vote on me when if an idol is played they risk losing a beauty majority. - Devon doesn't seem like he would make any waves and seems to have taken a liking to me. Granted I'm less sure about him then the others but he did put most of the work in convincing Dan not to put my name down. Plus he doesn't seem to have anticipated AJ having an idol. - Scott, to do something like this would have been risky. I'm his primary connection to the beauty alliance, if AJ were to play an idol he would have risked losing an asset. - I truly think Dan isn't lying to me because he genuinely believed if he didn't vote for AJ he'd be fucked. He wasn't comfortable with where the votes lied, to throw a vote towards me would have been pretty dumb and insanely reckless. Jakey is the only person I can think of who would go out so out of his way for something like this. Chaos is more or less his calling card. Plus it would be in his best interest to keep around someone in his majority alliance and get rid of a beauty. And he probably thought that I was a better option considering past history or whatever. :/ So now we have to sacrifice Jakey to the survivor gods not because he wrote my name down but because I can't trust him to keep his shit together and vote with us. We were going to target Dan next and he probably won't be chill with that. He probably would prefer to aim for Devon or One of the beauties. And that well, wouldn't be in my best interest either. In the mean time, I'm just going to sit still and look pretty.

Ok, I need to make a quick apology. Talking to Autumn and Duncan has been the highlight of my game thus far. Autumn went to the same undergrad as me and Duncan is one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. I feel terrible for ever being doubtful of being on the same tribe as them. Because now I really think I have two more people that I feel I can trust and move with further, which (in the words of the perfect Mrs. Kim Spradlin) means I have options, and I think this can guarantee a spot for me at merge and a really good group to make some moves with that isn't as obvious to people. If we were to go to tribal, I think my target would be Connor which should be an easy vote given his general lack of activity on the tribe thus far, but I'm also not against the prospect of blindsiding Ali as I think there's a chance he has that Apis idol and I'm certain he has a few tricks up his sleeves.

okay soooo i have two LONG video confessionals uploading from the last two days but wow stuff is happening... so first off, the nuThoth tribe voted off... AJ?! which is so unexpected, that shakes up the game completely, like now it means the game is changed... it means the brawn four on this tribe sticking together is a really bad idea, and it just... everything has changed. i'm so so glad jake has survived, which keeps one good ally in on nuThoth. I'm still scared of Augusto/Amir/Kendall/Scott, but hopefully one will go if they go to tribal again? idek but yeah a lot of this will be repeated in my video, but god is a woman. and her name is autumn, i called with autumn for TWO HOURS yesterday and it was a transcendent experience, i literally love her so much. and it was such a good conversation, like i 100% overshared but it was great to kinda link up... i talked to her about adam (more on him later), she filled me in on the brain hot goss and she is of course someone i want to stick with. on this tribe, the two i feel best about are tj and autumn - tj i was SO mean to at the start but i actually get really good energy from him now? i really want to solidify something with him, i definitely want to stick wit him. jordan i think trusts me a lot but for some reason i continue to have anxiety about him (but he is a good shield in a merge situation). i for some reason get really good vibes from connor? i think i would love to talk to him more (will pm him today) - i think connor gives off good vibes and particularly since adam's conspiracy of a beauty illuminati is over i think i could trust him a lot? we haven't spoken much but he has really good ally potential imo. adam is a tricky one. for some reason i do NOT trust him. he is in EVERYONES pms peddling this same narrative and is just doing a lot? i think he is a real slippery player, and i feel like he is a fish who if we release into the ocean of a merge tribe we will never get back? i have such anxiety about him making it far so i'd love for him to go as soon as possible. its tough tho because now that a beauty majority voted off a beauty, i feel like the brawn four on this tribe need to do similar? so maybe i need to vote off liam? its just annoying because i trust liam, and i'd LOVE to get adam out but i dont see the numbers to pull that off. so i feel like we have to vote liam to give ourselves wiggle room as brawn players, but from there idk... because i want adam GONE grrrrrrrrrr its frustrating. hopefully we win this challenge, and the other tribe has another chance to get rid of someone... like the less decisions i have to make the better at this point i take it back jordan is so sweet, he is like a teddy bear... its just whether he is a care bear or lotso from toy story

i cant remember what my last confessional said so im just gonna start with last tribal: aj got voted out ........ of all the false beautys it had to be him the ONE who actually was nice to me and was the whistleblower on that main alliance? when i said it'd ironically beautiful to me to see one of the beautys voted out he was NOT any of the ones i was talking about then we get our next immunity and oh would you look at that... THREE people have to sit out meaning there's gonna surely be another chat with 5 people in it to say lets vote adam out AGAIN.......as soon as i saw this challenge my ptsd immediately was triggered and i was trying SO hard to sound like i wanted to be in one of the things even if i wouldnt have been good at it just so i could rest easy but it didnt really work out, in fact the highlight of the challenge was actually me and duncan and our contribution of sitting on the sidelines looking pretty while they all flopped but bless their hearts at least they tried, so now we're going back to tribal, and again i didnt compete in immunity which apparenly is cause for a target now so ... im HOPING that doesnt happen again, and if it does then i probably deserve to go home! i was kinda just.... not in the mood to talk to anyone much of yesterday or even today just because um.... i didnt want to dfakdfs mostly due to that dumb bitch DeDe Pressión just making me wanna do nothing but lay in bed and torture myself by watching more real survivor but i woke up today in a better mood, the moods they come and they go, much like me i love being elusive so hopefully people just dont think im like such dumb bitch who doesnt wanna talk or whatever, because believe it or not the gorls can be so hateful over you not being able to recite their whole life story back to them at the final triabl! they ripped me to shred my first season because i couldnt tell them so and so had a purple sheep back on the farm in late october 2007 like gorl plea .... so yeah ive been trying to talk to more people today to compensate, not sure where it will go, it did reassure me a bit that liam messaged me like RIGHT after the challenge and began already saying stuff about connor like ooh gorl michael_jackson_i_love_this_song.gif, but i just need to be careful because i dont want to seem like im the one controlling the vote, because odds are im gonna get made to look a fool and ill go home, or be left in the dark, but im gonna try to have slightly more faith in these people and hope they're buying what im selling, because it's pretty good stuff, i just want to feel like im the most expensive iphone in the store you know, like i want to be able to say im building relationships nonetheless and will make people come running to ME with information but who knows. I'm either playing decently and in a good spot right now, or im a fucking delusional schizophrenic so im hoping tribal reveals something like that one way or another. at least if i get voted off i can stop letting this game stress me the HELL out in the middle of a fucking pandemic

youtube

When AJ leaves and you can trust your new alliance with the beauties and Jakey https://media.tenor.com/images/b4c2f5c658c1d3ade7e506ee7ffe3c5e/tenor.gif When you win your first tribal immunity challenge of the season https://i.imgur.com/8xzlbRW.gif When you don’t have to see Alyssa and Jess at tribal https://media.giphy.com/media/6nuiJjOOQBBn2/giphy.gif My tribe when I get to go to bed early because I don’t have to stay up stressing about tribal https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/58c16a15208b4945c3920cf0/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/nicole-kidman-seal-clap.gif

Second tribal of the game for me and I am feeling good once again. i see myself in a position where I dont think i am being targeted and I really just have room to grow and form my social relationships. I feel bad for connor cause I think he will be going home barring anything crazy happening. He was someone I wanted to work with going into this game, but ill be honest his social game is just abysmal he needs to talk to people more. I originally thought he was just not talking to me cause he assumed we were good but apparently everone feels like they cant have a convo with him. Its way too early for me to do something crazy and deviate so I think hes gonna be blindsided tonight. Maybe I want to lock down a final 2 with TJ soon im starting to trust him more and more and hopefully he feels the same way. Im pretty confident that were gonna merge at 12 because thats the first time my legacy advantage is coming into play but im not sharing that information, that power is as locked to the chest as can be I will not tell a soul all game about it, thats how you become a fan favourite game changer sierra dawn thomas and I will not be her, married to joe anglim what a thought. Im off focus, either way Ive talked a lot about feeling very rocky in this game so far and feeling like I havent found my footing, but Im getting a foundation built now and once I get going, theirs no stopping me.

Is it seriously only Day 14..? Ugh, this game drags on for so, so long. Tonight is gonna be deja vu of Kvaloya in which I once again send home Connor, hopefully unanimously again. I respond to his fucking messages, and he's doing his best Amanda Kimmel "go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation right now. It's ANNOYING. I can't work with someone who does this!

oh duncan. oh duncan duncan duncan. every single time we play together you underestimate me as a player and it is infuriating? so this time you don't want an alliance with me? that's fine... but don't think i wont find out. i'm literally my blood is boiling that he thinks he can get away with this... grr. but also i love autumn for telling me, it shows me i can trust her and we are gonna go the distance. anyway so i do think connor is going to leave tonight and me freaking out will only make it me instead... so i will go with it. but now im waiting to see what jordan and tj say... and to see if they tell me. i dont think tj will tell me, but i do think jordan BETTER. i'm defending him to autumn, so he owes me plus he says we are a duo so he better JKASLDFAF. so now? i feel like i need to trust adam and stop being so nervous to trust him... he is on the bottom with me and we need to flip this upside DOWN. if me/adam link up, that will be good... because im not down to be stuck on the bottom for more than a vote... being on the bottom is how to go home and that's not my thing

So now that the vote is looming, I think that we have it fully on Connor now. Duncan and I came up with the fake vote of Adam which Connor seemed to take? Although he's asking questions that seem fishy, so let's just hope he buys it. And Duncan and I made an alliance of me, him, Jordan, and Autumn which is perfect to have going into merge. I still need to figure out how best to integrate the two so that they can know Jakey is going to work with us but not enough so that they don't know that me/Jakey/Jordan also have an alliance together. But this is awesome going into the next round, and I'm just praying that we don't see an idol played, because that would be DISASTER!

the way i've called adam shady for days and days and now i trust him one of the most? wow a growth arc. i'm still heated about duncan. he is SOO likable and charismatic, and is someone who is genuinely always just fun to play with? so him being in this gamebot really dry state is so frustrating because ik if he just relaxed and let his natural personality out he would snap?! he is just so fixated on doing well this season that he is getting in his own way (at least imo, but this is coming from mr im not in an alliance so im bitter KJSAFD). so anyway now that duncan is not a viable ally anymore, i need to solidify the other connections... and i think adam and autumn are the move. adam is clearly just desperate for allies and while he is over-eager, i think he is earnest so ill stop being paranoid about him. autumn is just a queen and a goddess so im gonna stick with her too... liam is lovely too... i just want duncan OUTTTTTTTTTTT he will not get away with this, i am the meddling kid(s) who will ruin his plans... will duncan go to the end as the gamebot leader... well... https://gph.is/2dmg9hV

also can i just say i love tj?! like i sent duncan very similar messages about feeling like i've been out of it, and the difference in their responses is remarkable: tj: I think everyone understands that you haven't been 100% the last few days, so I doubt anyone is going to fault you for that. And everyone knows that it's a game, real life does come first. like... sweet, supportive without being patronising? validating duncan: and i don't think things have really kicked off over here yet, i think its going to be an "easy vote" but we'll see what happens duncan.... immediately to game, almost his own conversation... i'm... over it?

well we have tribal in just a few hours, and tonight it's gonna be pretty clear cut in the sense that, ill finally have answers because um it's either gonna be me or connor ive been doing my best to lead this smear campaign against him, only because he made the wrong move by coming for me first and continuing to lie to my face about it so at this point i wish i felt bad but i dont. I could be completely delusional but I do think it's working because people have come to ME first and said they want to vote connor, because of both what i was saying and because he just hasnt been talking to many people besides right after the challenge so like... people can see how transparent that is pls also because MULTIPLE people have approached me first today telling me he plans on voting me out so unless they're specializing in some hardcore reverse psychology...i think i have a shot at it being 7-1 connor but once again i literally could be being made out to be a whole ass goof and not even know. or even worst have got all the numbers on my side but then get idol'ed out fdhaskj both very likely scenarios because things never seem this easy in this game ive been trying my best to get to know people and i feel like im slowly connecting more with some of them, so i guess tonight at tribal will be a test on those relationships because all the people ive been talking to will either, believe me, trust me, and wanna play with me, or theyre gonna listen to connor and vote me out, and honestly if they vote me out over him then i completely deserve to go home because clearly im doing something wrong my biggest fear is im hoping i havent come off too strong trying to play by painting this narrative of the old hathor's and connor being so against me, because while yes obviously i want connor gone for my own reasons, the trick is i dont want people to think im leading a charge against him (even tho i absolutely am) because i dont want that kinda target on me but truly who the fuck knows, i could very well go home but idk. this game is like walking into a serial killer convention and trying to stay alive, that's how i feel like im putting my faith in the hands of killers, it's making a bitch shook so i guess we'll see but in a perfect world..... connor will leave....which may look bad because of old tribe lines, but im really trying to wor any magic i have to where me being the only beauty on this tribe would be beneficial for me to hopefully be sought after by any brawns or brains, but if you ask me old tribe lines are about to be nonexistent. even though there will be 4 brawns next round, ive been trying to connect to some of them in the hopes that theyll ditch any old alliance they have to work with me but only time will tell so um yeah keep me in your thoughts and prayers pls

Not gonna lie, I haven't done much of anything this round but I don't mind it! Sometimes I just wanna be a lazy bitch yknow? But yeah, Thoth FINALLY beat its 0 challenge wins curse and we won immunity which I am thankful for given tribal would've been extremely messy? With the Kendall vote last round (which I think was Jakey or Jakey telling Dan to do so), who knows what would've been the outcome! Yay for safety <3

hiiiii no video because i no longer want to do them. let the record show that i was the 1st to say adam's name, if he goes, i did that. if i go, i did that.

i didn't make a confessional this round and tribal is about to start! im going to expect connor to go but this would be a shitty last confessional if i go home tonight. I'm hoping to establish trust within this new tribe. Wish me luck! XOXO Gossip Girl. also my dog just ate the cake i left on the counter >.> thats why im late.

I can't give y'all a real confessional right now cause Cagayan has me screaming but I believe Connor is going home 7-1 and I gave the green light to an alliance I plan on turning on whew so see y'all soon

So basically, tribal happened, beauties lost a number unanimously, theres pros and cons to this. Pros: ppl think the idol left, beauty is less threatening, we show loyalty to more people and build relationships. Bad: someone lied. that kendall throw away vote was to ensure a beauty went home in case aj played an idol, and everyone claims it wasnt them, so someone on this tribe has a case of the LIE-ABETES. * anyway, here is Shit I learned today aka dirt on ppl: 🎃Devon - told me that dan was afraid of an all beauties thing 🎃Jakey - told me dan Ali him and Jordan were a majority - told me Ali has the idol - told me Ali is a rat who warned lovelis - called Adam annoying and ugly - said he wants Devon out next - thinks Devon voted kendall 🎃 scott - told me Devon screwed him over and got himself voted out on brains - told me autumn and Duncan are a duo 🎃 Dan - told jakey that he thinks the brains tribe voted kendall to divide beauty and brawn 🎃 kendall - hidden secret alliance with Jakey - hates dan 🎃 augusto - super close with Devon - wants to blindside Jakey - thinks Jakey is the kendall vote

#BackWithVengeance

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demiboypercyjackson · 8 years ago

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Idk if you write headcanons but, can you do an ace!Jason and bi!Percy headcanon list thing? (i also requested some from i'mnotstraightorcis, etc. etc. , lmao. thank you in advanceeeee

@dontcallmestraightorcis is a great blog for anyone whos into content similar to mine - aka That Gay Shit tm B3c lil promo there

and ace jason and bi percy are my lifeblood tbh yes please

• jason (gr)ace figures out pretty early on that he’s not into people That Way - you dont grow up raised by wolves and then as a soldier beside other soldiers and not hear about The Do and how fun it is. he doesnt understand it though - if anything, it sounds gross and unnecessary. why waste time with something like that when you can be doing something else? the idea that he cant Provide that for someone stops him from dating in the barracks even before becoming praetor, however, even though dakota flirts constantly (which mostly just makes him laugh)

• percy doesnt get that hes bi until hes around 13-14 and hes talking to someone who Isnt like “yeah those guys are super good looking” “haha wow gay” “nah im straight” “those are not straight thoughts percy jackson” “…oh. guess im not then” and he doesnt beat himself up over it too much. its another thing that fugliano would have hated about him and the idea feels like rebellion, like blue food. it makes him grin

• when they meet, they’re ridiculous. percy is all peacock, being aggressive and showing off and trying to be The Coolest. he doesnt get that he has a crush. jason responds back to percy the same way, and KNOWS that he has a crush on percy. hes never liked someone that much before and really doesnt want to. hes afraid of not being Enough, of “leading percy on”, so to speak. he hasnt accepted that there are people out there that wont expect that of him - that would be happy with him as he is and would find no shortcomings in that which he could give. luckily percy doesnt seem to like him much, so that suits jason just fine (even if he is maybe secretly pining a little)

• percy is hanging out with piper and they get talking about jason. jason is on percy’s mind 24/7, the way luke was, the way annabeth was for a while, and he Knows but he hasnt put 2 and 2 together yet. piper, luckily, does. “percy, you like him. you like him and thats super gay and i approve.” “[gasps] piper, you useless lesbian, i cant believe this” “youre the useless lesbian. now go find jason and tell him the OTHER L word”

• so percy goes to find jason and apologize for his behavior because pigtail pulling is not an appropriate way of displaying a crush. jason goes stock still and is like “…a crush?”

percy goes on to say its okay if he doesnt like him back and that he’d get over it eventually and no sweat, i just came to say im worry, it wont happen again and jason hushes him pretty quickly. “its fine, percy… i mean. i kind of like you too just… i dont know. things are different.” he struggles to express how he feels. “but i dont want to lead you on.”

percy thinks hes saying “i dont ACTUALLY like you” and nods, a little hurt. ‘i like you but i dont wanna lead you on’ then what was that, he thinks bitterly. but he thinks he understands. “its okay, dude. dont worry about it.” jason shakes his head and says “but i DO worry about it. i want to be able to go all the way.”

percy blinks. “wait, what?”

“i just,” jason struggles again, bringing his hands into the air and looking exasperated. “i just.. i dont know. i want to go out with people and kiss or hug or whatever but then theres what comes next and i just cant do that. i dont think ill ever want that.”

theres a beat of silence, jason looking at the ground while.

“then we wont go that far.” jason looks up and when they meet eyes, percy shrugs easily. “youre a really cool, strong guy. youre nice, too, and you care about people. i wanna get to know you better, maybe not be at your throat all the time trying to 1 up you to get you to like me.” that makes jason laugh. “im okay with just taking you out. i dont think i need to 'score’” he uses air quotes here, pulls a face at the word. “to score with you, if you know what i mean”

jason is smiling and blushing and maybe his throats a little tight and his eyes sting because a cute guy totally just used an awful line on him and doesnt mind that it wont get him into jasons pants. “then… okay.”

“okay?”

“okay, ill go out with you.”

and if percy raises his fists in the air and yells “WOOHOO!!!” then let it be known that jason didnt stop laughing for a long while after that

…wow im gay wtf - mod will

#jercy #jason grace #percy jackson #ace jason grace #bi percy jackson #mod will #iris message #my fic #fic rec #kinda?#ah well

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needhelpforrealnow-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Here is her story

Okay i need someones help. I have a friend that ive known for almost 10 years she's like my sister. My Dad knew her father and grandmother for years. she, Her father and grandmother live just down the street from me and my family. She would often be at my house practically living there. She even had a bed in my home to sleep in and she even goes as far as calling my mom her mother. The father was the one with custody and he stuggled to provide but what he did have would often go to beer and drugs. she didnt like her father cause to put it bluntly he was an ass. She's told me stories of when her father had choke her almost to the point of blacking out and how when he would try to hit her, the grandmother would step in with a frying pan and said "if you dont stop this right now, and leave her alone then i will use this" he would step forward and she would hit him with no hesitation. The mother wasnt in the picture because she was an alcoholic and a drug addict as well. The father would let the mother spend time with her. Obiously she didnt act terrible because the mother was only going to spend so much time with her daughter. She would buy her stuff she wanted, take her places she wanted to go[that were often funded by one of her many boyfriends] my friend never met the moster she was. She didnt get the off feeling my mom and i would get but didnt know her enough to put our finger on what it was. But the grandmother knew how she really was and didnt allow halie to enter her custody while she was kicking. the grandmother was her saving grace and mother figure. She would cook for her, clean her room and buy anything she needed...but she passed away over a year ago from a heart attack...thats when hell broke loose the demon labled as a mother decided to take custody. Just a few months after the grandmother's death. The mother took the opose his daughter right after he lost his mother but when the judge asked who she wanted to go with. My friend was depressed and only knew her father as an ass and so chose her mother. This is one of her biggest regrets. She absolutely hates her mother. The mother is verbally abusive and is a danger to the public because she often drives drunk with he kids in the car. She's a great actor though so you can never tell the difference between her being drunk and her sober but guess what she recently has refused to feed my friend only ever buying food for her 2 year old son that my friend constantly has to be watching. the mother claiming "i dont feed people who dont love me" the mother forced my friend to break up with her boyfriend because while in an argument the boyfriend texted. She's called her a shit head an idiot. Even going as far as calling her a whore when she found out my brother was providing her food at school because the mother refused to feed her at home. [no strings attached. my brother has a child of his own and has known halie just as long as i have which is close to a decade] Even going as far as threatening to call the cops on my brother and her ex boyfriend. The boyfriend is a year and a half older than her but she threatens to the cops on him because he will turning 18 in june. [its feb 7 at the time this is writen]I have gone to her house too. This was when she was still going to school with me. it was around 10:30 but we went over so we can get some of her clothes that she refused to bring over earlier. When we got there we called to let her know we were outside and when we entered her brother was crying on the bed while the mother was screaming her head off " you woke up the fucking kids! Why the fuck are you coming at fucking 11 at night! What the fuck is wrong with you! You fucking woke him up!" all while picking up some of her sons toys and throwing them aggressively in a corner while my ftiend was trying to let her know that i was there as well. We came and left pretty quickly with the mother still cussing the whole time and the last thing we hear is "you better fucking get your ass back her by tomorrow!" her brother still crying the whole time. Now my friend loves her brother with all her heart. I would imagine so she watches him the majority of the time. Some People where she lives believe that he is her kid. One man saying "i have a boy around the same age as your son" that is how often she watches him almost every single day. To the point where her son would rather be carried by her than his own mother. Here's another story but this one invovles her son on second thought i share two She was outside with a buddy of hers drinking while her at the time 1 yearold son was inside sick with a fever. My friend wasnt home at the time cause she was at my house Spending the night. She gets a call that her little brother had gotten a seizure because of how high his temperature was! Apparently she didmt know you were suppose to give the medicine every so many hours and pretty much left him and she knew he was haveing a seizure because her buddy saw him through the window! He's fine now so dont worry infact he use to walk on his tippy toes before his seizure and now walks normally! Heres another story with this boy. One time when my friend was taking a shower her mother was passed out on the couch with the sliding door slightly opened. And her 1 year old playing on the floor. He went to the door pushed it even more open and was wondering outside in the rain heading towards the street. My friend had gotten out of the shower not to long after and couldn't find her brother she noticed the door open and look outside to see him heading towards the street with a couple of neighbors try to get him to come to them and away from the street. Sadly but unsurprisingly he doesnt like other people very much often sticking towards his mother but mostly towards my friend. When she saw him she called out to him and he finally came back to their house.And hell as a short bonus: the mother has even driven with her youngest child in the front seat of the car!Now this story is one that happened very recently like feb 5 recently. And to let you know as to why my friend doesnt call the police herself its because My friends phone is not connected so the only way she can talk anyone is through wifi And a app called kik or messager on facebook. Now the app only allows texting and her mother refuses to connect her phone. So even if she wanted to she would beable to call for help and so on sundayI was at home asleep when i felt my phone buzzing like crazy! I look at my phone and i was horrified at what i had been reading. My friend had texted me saying for me to call her dad or to call the cops because her mother threaten to beat her and grabbed her roughly and locked her outside the house and that she had been drinking she was scared to try and call someone else because she would grab her again. Now my friend doesnt like cops and neither do i but to read from her asking for them it made my heart drop to my stomach and i immidietly jumped out of bed and called guyfriend [who had been getting close with halie as well] that i needed a ride right than and there to her house. he lived near by so it was only 2 mins for him to get to my house. I jumped in the car and texting her that i was on the way with our friend. As we were going i called her father and told him what his daughter had texted me. He claimed that his car wasnt working like it always isnt and that he had a friend over but he didnt have gas and when he hung up my friend had texted me saying for me to tell her dad not to believe her mother. The father called back i told my guyfriend to circle around to his house since we hadent left the street yet and when i picked the phone up he said for me NOT to pick her up. My guyfriend had just parked in front of his house. i was confused, he told me that she was just angry over an argument over a boy and to not pick her up. I was furious at what i was hearing and told him that she was obviously distress and that her mother threaten to beat her and he then yelled at me telling me that he heard her 'in the house' and that he's not going to stress over it. I motion for my friend to leave And then he practically shouted in my phone "DONT PICK HER UP!" I wasnt going to argue anymore and all i saw was red. And that last remark so i hung up. I called my mom to let her know i was had to go only to be told she wasnt home to begin with. I told her the situation and my mom calmly told me that she was going to head home and speak with the father befor hanging up. And told mu friend to head to her house. I kept in contact with my friend to make sure she was alright. And the text from that point on went like this:Tell my dad [1:41 pm] Not to listen to her About me and marco She's drunk She wants to make him hate me and him Are you coming or not i couldnt here what my dad said He told me not to pick you up Why not I cant stay here Please convince him Ill walk over there then. Im picking you up. Im not going to try and Convince him Of shit. Is he mad i cant use the fucking phone anne I know and im coming I cant fucking call him cause she's going to get me againYour coming where? To your house I called my mom she sounded calm but said she was going to his house in a bit Are you okay? No im not okay Where r u ? At my moms She left I need to take care of my brother. I know that She left him here Fuck It's whatever My dad doesn't want me over there So it doesn't matter anyways Well we do halie You can't pick me up I can't stay over there I don't even have any clothes I don't know what I'm going to do We're still coming She came back ): Idk if she'll let me What is she doing You want me to call the cops cause i can Just come and if she doesn't let me we'll call the cops We are here [ 2:05 pm]When we got there i was so nervous and angry i couldnt even think straight. And told my friend to start it off i handed him my phone so he can do a voiceHe nocked on the door and mand when she said hello my friend tried to get out out of the house and the mother said"what are you doing? What are you doing?!" "Ima leave" "your not leaving anywhere get your ass inside. She aint going nowhere. get inside" "my dad said i could leave""YOUR DAD did not send nobody get inside NOW! Get inside now before I FUCKING CALL THE COPS and your ass is going to fucking juvenile" "why?" " YOUR DAD did not call them" "yes he did" "YOUR DAD JUST CALLED me right now. Get your ass inside your dad did not call them your dad said he didnt even have a fucking car to take your ass to school" "you said i cant! I can go." "BECAUSE I HAVE EVRY FUCKING ATHORITY OVER YOU....EVERY AUTHORITY OVER YOU.YOU HAVE NO REASON TO EVEN BE WITH YOUR FATHER BECAUSE HE'S NOT EVEN CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF YOU! HE HAS NO FOOD HE'S A DRUG ADDICT AND HE DRINKS! AND YOU WANNA FUCKING LEAVE" "yea" " YEA, I dont care what you want" "okay" "i dont care" durning that argument she called her father "SO YOU SENT ANNE AND another friend of hers to come and pick her up?.....FOR what! Why didnt you tell me that. Why did you tell me that she was going to stay here. So whose going to take her to school? IF YOU dont have a car than whose going to take her to school.......exactly, exactly" "anne can take me" "NO! She is not your responsibility" "she can take me!" "i dont care" "of course you dont" "your staying here. I dont care, your staying here"" no im not" "yes you are""no im not""yes you are...bye chuck" "no im not" "your staying here" "why""because i said so" "why""because I said so because you are not the adult i am and next time you listen to me" "THEN NEXT TIME DONT LOCK ME OUT""WHEN THE FUCK DID I LOCK YOU OUT, YOU LIEING LITTLE SHIT HEAD. MY SON WAS OUT THERE WITH YOU! DID I LOCK YOU OUT" "yEs!" "I JUST STOOD RIGHT THERE INFRONT OF THAT DOOR""not really""cause i asked you to take care of him""YOU LOCKED ME OUT"" OH BUT YOUR WILLING TO GO A MEET FUCKING OTHER RANDOM GUYS LIKE A LITTLE WHORE""i knew you veiwed me as a whore" "GET THE FUCK INSIDE you guys got to gWe waited outside and two cop cares showed up one came to us he was around is early 20's and the other was older mabey 40's but i didnt get a good look cause he just waked pass us to the door. We told the cop how we were worried for our friend and i showed him the text on my phone and told him i had a recording. He told us to wait there and went inside as well when he came back out and told us that my friend and her mother just got in a argument over a boy and said that even though it was in good intentions i should stop the door again. I asked so what was going to happen and he said nothing that tshe's not drunk she's doesnt show signs of abuse so there's nothing to be done and that we're only getting my friends side of the story not the mothers. It was at that point i started to cry. I had failed my friend and quit honestly. Just wanted to scream i looked and my friend to see what we can do and noticed him crying as well. I tried to stop myself from crying thank the officer. He ask which car was ours and when we told him, he took down the rest of our information and wish us a safe trip and went on our way. I have never felt so mentally and emotionlly exhausted. I quit hoestly felt like screaming and crahing the car. The cops took the mothers side they didnt even bother testing her and we didnt even talk to the other cop but the cop talking to us talked to both the mother and us and if was obvious which side they took. I told my friend to take me home and when i got there i just started bawling i wanted that lady gone. I wanted the grandmother back. I just wanted it to be over. I hated i couldnt help my friend when she needed me the most. I texted my friend and she told me that she was sorry and that the mother is lying to the cop and that she was going to literally kill herself ...i told her not to and while i dont believe she would im slowly doubting that belief. This is the guy friend- I made this account cause if you read it all than you can see why we need help. We are backed against a corner and we need help, so if any of you can give us the help than please

#send help #help me #help #help us #verbal abuse #abuse #emotional abuse #academic abuse #psychological abuse #crazy mother #friends #we just want to do something

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