#//dan i don't think she's buying it

[fazcinatingblog]

Maybe that's why all her relationships only last 6 months, maybe she's scarred from the Marcus relationship, that he only started his angry outbursts at 6 months and now, whenever she nears the same milestone with another boy... Bam, time to break up

[astonmartinii]

pick of the crop | logan sargeant social media au

pairing: logan sargeant x fem farmer!reader

sometimes opposites attract so much that a city boy is willing to get mud on his trainers

based on this request: Logan sargeant x reader smau, where she’s like a farmer in the country, and people are surprised that they’re so different? - @indesicivelyconfuzzled

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

logansargeant

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 611,209 others

tagged: yourusername

logansargeant: never been so thankful for a two week break in the race calendar, farm time has been overdue.

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user1: did we just unlock the farmer version of logan

user2: real ones have known farmer logan since his f2 days

oscarpiastri: ugh... couple goals i guess

yourusername: you guess?

logansargeant: you wish you were us

yourusername: let's not pit two powerful women against each other

oscarpiastri: thank you y/n

yourusername: i was talking about me and lily, y'all can fight amongst yourselves

user3: you guys are fake as fuck cause why didn't you tell me logan has a gf

user4: a farmer gf ?!?!?!?

alexalbon: so i got heat from you for @albon_pets (follow me) but your gf has a whole ass farm?

logansargeant: and what? dodger would defo take otter in a fight

yourusername: stop the violence

alexalbon: see, this is why people are confused on how you guys got together

logansargeant: i'm just standing up for my dog child ?

yourusername: leave the children out of it

user5: idk how or when this happened but i am enjoying seeing another side of logan

user6: for real haven't seen his feral side since prema

user7: two weeks on a farm will do that to you

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 3,199 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: the y/ln farm takes the cota paddock, thanks @alexalbon for recommending fifi for the job of paddock drama queen

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user9: she brought a horse for her paddock debut ???

user10: idk about you guys but i am thoroughly enjoying whatever the fuck is going on right now

logansargeant: i think fifi did great (i think dan might be friends with us now)

yourusername: she's a gentle queen (omg we've made friends?)

danielricciardo: damn right you have a new friend what a STALLION

yourusername: you can ride her if you want :)

alexalbon: WE CAN?

landonorris: WE CAN?

maxverstappen1: i would like to ride the horsey

yukitsunoda0511: dan woke me up with his scream of joy so you're morally obligated to let me have a ride on fifi as well

logansargeant: well if i knew all i needed to do was bring y/n and fifi to the paddock to make friends they would've been at miami :(

user11: crying so the reports that logan was feeling really lonely were real?

user12: at least he has y/n?

oscarpiastri: cool kids have already ridden with fifi :)

logansargeant: you screamed the whole time?

oscarpiastri: semantics

danielricciardo: i'm outside williams hospitality let me in

yourusername: that was fast?

charles_leclerc: it's kinda in the job description (we're all here please let us in)

user13: the way all the teams are gonna be like where are all of our drivers and why are they all running away?

williamsf1

liked by yourusername, logansargeant and 610,994 others

tagged: logansargeant, alexalbon

williamsf1: austin you delivered !! logan and alex pick up three and four points each in logan's first points and our first double points finish of the season !!

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user14: someone tell y/n she's not allowed to go home, she's a williams employee now

liked by logansargeant

alexalbon: WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETRE I LOVE YOU AMERICA

logansargeant: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

alexalbon: don't lie you love the bit

logansargeant: no i think YOU love the bit

alexalbon: today i love YOU 😘

yourusername: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

alexalbon: i guess i love you too

yourusername: i would like to think so. don't think i didn't see you swipe a jar of marmalade

alexalbon: GUILTY

user15: williams points, maybe america isn't all bad ...

yourusername: home race did pretty boy so good :))))

logansargeant: idk i think you might just be my lucky charm and can never leave my side again

yourusername: what about the children logan :(

logansargeant: fuck dem kids

logansargeant: JOKES

oscarpiastri: 📸 📸 📸 got ur ass

logansargeant: why are you here?

oscarpiastri: i want naming rights of the next babies 😬

yourusername: logan :((((((( they have feelings :(((((

logansargeant: i'm sorry :( i just love you :(

yourusername: awwwwww i love you too

oscarpiastri: so can i name the next babies PLEASE

yourusername: you wanna give logan a tow next race?

oscarpiastri: fuck no

yourusername: then there's your answer

user16: what the fuck is going on here?

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 7,103 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: there's no such thing as a snooze button here

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user17: FARM LOGAN FARM LOGAN FARM LOGAN

user18: farm logan makes me weak in the knees

oscarpiastri: why are there two pictures of logan?

logansargeant: choke.

oscarpiastri: woah i didn't know comedy was illegal in texas

yourusername: to perform comedy you kinda need to be funny oscar

oscarpiastri: i am funny?

yourusername: sure ...

oscarpiastri: stop trying to look like a nice gf on the internet you make fun of him just as much as i do

logansargeant: she did say that she prefers dermot over 'my ass'

yourusername: LOL sorry logan....

landonorris: am i dumb?

oscarpiastri: yes :)

yourusername: ass is another way to refer to a donkey lando

landonorris: ohhhh. in that case i am a massive donkey

yourusername: oh that's not...

user19: y/n having to deal with more than logan and oscar will kill her i fear

alexalbon: SHEEP PLEASE BRING SHEEP NEXT RACE PLEASE I LOVE SHEEP

yourusername: you good?

alexalbon: i love sheep. sue me

yourusername: we actually host sheep cuddle session at the farm lol

logansargeant: can confirm they are very cuddly (not as much as you)

alexalbon: 1. why thank you logan 2. LILY CANCEL THE FLIGHTS

logansargeant: i was talking about y/n... but i knew you remembered our snuggle on the plane

alexalbon: i'm like an octopus in my sleep, just ask lily or george

user20: please santa bring me a cuddle session with the sheep at y/n's farm 🤞

logansargeant

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 503,776 others

tagged: yourusername

logansargeant: 2024 williams? no. y/n's tractor? YES

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user21: country boy i love youuuuuuuuuuuu eh

user22: third pic is doing something to me that is irreversible

yourusername: lovely lovely cowboy, i might have to ban you from working on the farm cause you're too distracting

logansargeant: saying that as if you don't make collecting eggs look like the hottest thing in the world

yourusername: you looking mighty fine wrangling the cows

logansargeant: you riding a horse makes me go feral

alexalbon: OKAY WE'LL BE ENDING THAT THERE BEFORE IT LEAVES THE PG RATING

yourusername: boooooo you're no fun 🍅 🍅🍅

logansargeant: as if you aren't posting up your feet all over the timeline 🤨

alexalbon: ffs it's just double trouble with you people

user23: only time that driving a tractor is attractive for f1 drivers

oscarpiastri: you guys look like you've jumped out of a trashy romance novel

yourusername: you read them enough to know that

oscarpiastri: what is on my kindle is between me and god

logansargeant: oscar jack piastri leave us out of your smut

oscarpiastri: oh stop being so dramatic, i don't want to know what you freaks do on that farm

logansargeant: and you'll never know. don't think of my girlfriend like that

yourusername: and don't think about my boyfriend like that

oscarpiastri: you people are infuriating

yourusername: we irritating 👯‍♀️

logansargeant: they hate to see bad bitches winning 💅

user24: this relationship is so precious to me

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 31,503 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: farm update: meet the formooooola one grid!!

yuki has eaten all of my shoes :(

alex has taken station in the chicken coup

charles thinks he's a dog?

max and daniel just snooze everyday under the orange trees

george is always right at the door every morning

oscar and logan are just obsessed with each other and the goats

yes i did name the one with the prettiest coat after lewis

fernando is always sat on some poor soul (usually one of the cats)

carlos and lando chase each other constantly

lance and esteban are chill and just like cuddles

valterri drags zhou to do dumb stuff (they got stuck in a window? don't ask)

pierre demands to be brushed everyday

checo, nico and kevin are the mother hens

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user27: stop the count!!! this IS the cutest moment of the year

yukitsunoda0511: i'm sure cow yuki has a very good excuse

yourusername: i don't have any leather shoes so at least he's not a cannibal?

logansargeant: he did eat my limited edition converse though 🤨

lewishamilton: i simply HAVE to meet cow lewis he sounds like a great dude

yourusername: he's very calm and does love affection

logansargeant: he let me give him belly rubs !!

lewishamilton: that is cute (do not try to touch my stomach)

logansargeant: ... noted

user28: i will never recover from this and need constant updates please

logansargeant: cow me might be obsessed with oscar but real me is still obsessed with you

yourusername: don't tell the others but both you and cow logan are my faves - i love you

logansargeant: awwww i love you too

alexalbon: OUTRAGE

oscarpiastri: ROBBERY

yourusername: oh please ....

logansargeant: you snooze you lose

danielricciardo: awww they can't even separate us as cows @maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: we're bffs in every universe daniel

yourusername: this is very heartwarming

logansargeant: we're still better though, right?

yourusername: oh of course

danielricciardo: ???

maxverstappen1: ???

fin.

note: two in one day? i am on a roll - i hope you all enjoy with me finally writing for logan !! i for one am glad he's getting a second season!

[impactedfates]

“Not a Pet Darling…” - Various Xianzhou Loufu Characters x GN! Reader

Summary: You go home to your partner and show them the cute fluffy wolf you found!! Can you keep it as a pet? Your partner seems reluctant...why? well it’s a Wooden Lupus…perhaps not the safest option for a companion.

Characters Included (Separate): Jing Yuan, Blade, Luocha, Dan Feng, Fu Xuan, Qingque

Genre: Romantic + Crack(?)

Warnings: None I think

Extra: Dan Fengs part is set during the High-Cloud Quintet days // Not proofread, just a funny idea I had and had to write happy to fix any mistakes tho lol // Dan Feng is probably out of character, just started writing him // Luocha + Qingques one are pretty short

Jing Yuan blinked at you slowly, staring at you and the new canine you brought home that now lay rest on his pillow, your lap. He had just gotten home from work, and wanted to get rewarded by sleeping on your lap, with your fingers running through his hair.

He went home and when he couldn't find you, he went to the garden, only to find a wooden lupus on your lap instead. His eyes narrow as he calmly walks over.

"Dove...what's this?"

"Dog"

The General blinked once, twice and again. Questioning you. How did you manage to tame such...a dangerous animal? An abundance spirit for crying out loud??

"Dove...I...don't think that's a dog"

"No it's name is dog!"

"...Dog?"

He looked at you again, taking a deep breath, noticing the movement from...'dog', he instinctively took out his weapon, to which you quickly caged the canine with your arms and pulled it away.

"Yuan, don't!! It's cute!!"

"...It's dangerous"

You puffed out your cheeks and shook your head, carefully lifting up dog. And made it look at him. Raising one of it's paws you say in a squeaky voice.

"My name is dog, I love you"

"...Dove please..."

You put down the dog back on the ground, it runs around the garden. You stand up and look at your husband.

"You're having favouritism with Mimi right now"

"HOW DOES MIMI FIT INTO THIS"

"SHE JUST DOES."

Blade called out your name again, and again and again. Where are you?? You had to go home. HE HAS THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT ON HIS ASS DON'T DO THIS TO HIM.

.

.

.

WHY ARE YOU CARRYING A WOODEN LUPUS??

He quickly walked up to you and grabbed your shoulder.

"Love...what are you doing?"

"Adopting a friend for you"

"Why for me?"

"...C'mon...you know why"

Blade is personally offended by that comment, but he loves you so you get away with it...for now...

"Can we keep the dog?"

"It's a wolf...but fine, I'm not a dog person though"

Cue him getting the dog it's own mini home, it's own toys and loving it more then he loves you/hj (He loves you more I swear)

You didn't expect Luocha to agree so fast about adopting the dog. You couldn't even ask, he just took one look at you, one look at the dog and gave you...a look that said '...w h y'

But he agrees, (reluctantly) I mean, you tamed it right? He doesn't mind having a dog if it a) makes you happy and b) it behaves. He will say that if it decides to do a stabby stab then he'll have to throw a coffin on it.

And now you have an Abundance wolf following the two of you. You have all the reasonability's, if you ask nicely enough, Luocha might pay for dog things. Make sure he's in a good mood though, not that he'd say no it's just...it's easier to get him to buy a bunch of things if he is.

You named the wolf Bob, Luocha does not approve.

Dan Feng quickly pulled you away from the wolf and quickly hugged you close to him protectively.

"My darling, please get away from that...thing"

"IT'S NOT A THING, IT'S NAME IS FANG"

"YOU NAMED IT??"

You nodded and tried your best to get out of his iron grip but he refused to let go. Too confused on why you not only named a dangerous wolf but also it seems to actually...like you?? What black magic did you use to tame an abundance beast??

Eventually he gives into your pleas, especially since 'Fang' seems to not be...dangerous currently. But he does keep a close eye on it.

.

.

.

"Darling...stop petting Fang...I want attention too"

The Vidyadhara man said, plopping his head on your shoulder as your fingers ran through the fur of the wolf. You slightly glanced at him and mouthed 'One minute'

"You've been at this for hourrss...I am the High Elder, listen to me"

He muttered, wrapping his arms around you. Looking at you like a kicked puppy.

"You're an elder? *Dramatic Gasp* Grandpa"

"YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME."

"No"

Was Fu Xuan immediate response when you entered your shared home. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at you. The wolf behind you peaked and looked at the pink haired lady.

"...what do you me-"

"You're not adopting it"

"But-"

"No buts"

You pouted a bit at your girlfriends word. Clearly she had read your future and found what you were going to do...maybe you could try to convince her anyways?

.

.

.

You did not convince her.

Qingque nearly threw her game of majong at the dog. It bonked it's head and you were quick to hug it and check to see if it was okay.

"...[Name]...you can't have that"

"Why not?"

"...well damn I can't argue with that actually"

You smiled triumphantly at your win. You two ended up adopting 11 more.

This was just a random idea I had when I was meant to be sleeping, had to write it lmao. If y'all don't know what the Wooden Lupus are, it's the white wolves that can summon more wolves in HSR.

I had fun writing this ngl, wished I had more ideas for Luocha and Qingque but couldn't. I hope you found this entertaining/funny anyways :D

If anyone wants to do this idea as well you can, you can credit me if you want (preferably) but not necessary. But I would like to still get tagged if you do, wanna read your interpretation of the characters with this idea :>

[imaprettygirl]

10,000 hours

"I'd spend 10, 000 hours and 10, 000 more. Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours"

(Inspired by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber's song (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)) Some lyrics are used here!

(Oh and credits to the original artist for the fanarts I used!)

For Alhaitham and Zhongli, consider it as the sequel to the first fics.

ALHAITHAM (part 1)

ZHONGLI (part 1)

CHARACTERS USED HERE: Alhaitham, Zhongli and Neuvillette

ALHAITHAM

"Do you miss the road that you grew up on? Did you get your middle name from your grandma?"

"Oh, why is that?" Alhaitham mumbled as the corners of his lips urged to curl up into a smile if not for him holding it back. His eyes skimmed the pages of the book he was holding although shooting occasional glances at you blabbering about how the Akademiya's strict yet ridiculous rules and customs. Contrary to his insouciant countenance, his ears were keen on picking up every word you said to engrave them into his memory; especially information about yourself. He believed that gathering up personal details of you would help him succeed in wooing you.

"They made us wear those itchy hats which are made of rough linen! It's making my scalp itch!!" You poured out all your complaints, your legs dangling upon sitting on Alhaitham's desk. "But don't get me wrong! Sumeru is really nice; a whole new experience! But I do miss my hometown and my family..."

Alhaitham heard your soft sigh at your last sentence which made his ears perk up with curiosity. A trace of a faint smile lingered on the scribe's face as he closed his book with a soft thud sound. "Who do you miss more? Your hometown or family?"

"Hm... maybe my family? They mean the world to me... Especially my grandma!" Your face lit up when you mentioned your grandmother. The scribe's lips parted to say something but instead, he just chuckled.

"Your grandmother? May I inquire why?"

You weren't the type to deduce a situation without seeing the big picture but you could have swear you heard his voice crack at the word 'grandmother'... Was he washed over by the feeling of nostalgia? You didn't know his past exactly but your guess was that he was brought up by his grandma judging from the way he weighs that specific word. Curious, you shifted your body to his direction to observe his body language so that you could confirm your suspicions. Finally after a long pause, you replied with a soft smile, "She bakes me excellent chocolate cookies. And oh, I'm not sure you know that but my family runs a small yet successful bakery!"

You paused for a while, silently weighing the words you were going to say to make sure if it was appropriate to let it out loud in front of him.

"My mother said that I take after my grandma from head to toe. That's why my middle name was named after her." You finally mustered the courage and let out a giggle to ease any possible tension between you two in case he was offended by your words.

Antithetical to what you have believed, you saw a soft smile on that handsome face of his instead of a scowl. Who knew he could be a heart-throb when smiling? Maybe you should persuade him to do more...

"Ah... I see. No wonder your middle name sounds so obsolete yet beautiful- in a good way of course"

Although the things you just said couldn't benefit him in buying gifts to your liking, he was glad that the walls around your heart were starting to crack little by little.

"But guess what?" You got off his desk and reached for the exit "I know her secret chocolate cookies recipe..."

"So get ready to taste some tomorrow!" You left the room with a wink which seemed platonic to you.

But not for him.

ZHONGLI

"When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?"

"Do tell me dear, what does the word 'forever' and 'eternity' speak to you?" The Geo lord strolled along by your side.

"Erm... the Electro archon? Lightning? Inazuma?" You made multiple guesses but each one earning his shook of disapproval. Your eyebrows knitted into a frown as you scrambled for the correct answer.

"You will get no where if you continue making such guesses far from truth. I must admit that she would be flattered by your words if she happened to be near us." Zhongli patted your shoulder as he looked down at the city of Liyue from the mountains above. The orange evening sky colored the red buildings of the city crimson and laughter and chatters filled the streets. Colorful flowers of pride blossomed in his heart at that sight; the city he built from scratch had now became a civilized one. But these feelings didn't even had a room in his heart when compared to the pride and love he felt when around you.

"Think again, dear." He raised his eyebrow in amusement upon seeing that puzzled look on your face. "Let me give you a hint then... how do you see yourself in five to ten years?" Zhongli tilted his head with his eyes closed towards the sky casting an orange glow on his face. Under such golden light, his features were more refined. When he opened his eyes, you noticed that they seem to lighten in hue which made it more alluring.

"Well, I'm still young so I'll probably stick by your side and my instrument too." You smiled at the mention of your musical instrument; you could as well as say that it was your first love.

Zhongli's breath hitched in his throat as his face went slack- his lips parted slightly with widened eyes. Being self-conscious again, he hid his happiness behind that calm, professional mask of his. "So, you're saying that you want to be by my side....forever?"

"Suppose so" You shrugged as you ran down the hill, feeling the cold wind fanning your face as it also made your ears pop. At the bottom of the hill, you found yourself followed by Zhongli and you both walked your way into Liyue's harbor. Suddenly, you heard an old woman's weak cries near the entrance of the city. Worried, you glanced at her direction and found a basket of glaze lilies next to her and it seemed that she was trying to sell them before the end of the day. You felt pity for her so you approached her with slow delicate steps.

"Erm, excuse me. I would like to purchase some glaze lilies. May I have four of them?" Your words had a gentle lilt to it.

"Unfortunately for you dear... there are only two left!" The elderly lady replied with an anxious expression. You bit your lower lip in thought but then you nodded.

"I'll have two the-

"Wait" You felt a presence approaching you from behind; Zhongli. "You said you wanted four. Shall we come back tomorrow?"

That's when you knew that you were stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea: You didn't want to hurt the elderly woman's feelings or Zhongli's. You had to find a way to please them both.

"W-Well... I'll buy only two today" you glanced at Zhongli "I hope you don't mind but I want you to buy two for me everyday...until it's big enough to be a bouquet."

NEUVILETTE

"Do you love the rain, does it make you dance when you're drunk with your friends at a party?"

"I can see that you enjoy the feeling of rain..." A man's voice interrupted the daze you were in. You let out a yelp in response and turned your head around swiftly to see who it was: Monsieur Neuvillette.

"Ahaha... Monsieur..." You chuckled nervously as you shook off the water droplets on your extended hand to hide it in your coat's pocket. You lifted your blue umbrella a little bit higher so that his face could be seen in detail. "Erm... maybe." You lowered your gaze in guilt. Being a pluviophile is tough especially when rain only pours when the Chief Justice of Fontaine is feeling under the weather. During your teenage years, you used to run in the rain alone or with friends after a party. But right now? That hobby of yours had became a guilty pleasure ever since you became Monsieur Neuvillette and Lady Furina's personal stylist. It's not like you must hide that from him but when you put yourself in his shoes, the whole situation changes: how would you feel if you see someone acting all buoyantly in front of you when they clearly know that you're distressed? Offended right?

"Ah... so my guess is correct then" He let out a soft chuckle "Why is that?"

"Oh, well... ever since I was a little girl, I would go on strolls with my mother and when it rained, I would jump into shallow puddles and play with it." A wave of nostalgia intertwined with guilt cascaded over your whole being; Afterall, the rain served as a reminiscent of your childhood. "During my teenage years, I would dance under the drizzle with my friends..."

"Really? Oh. So you used to frolic in the rain?" Your head snapped in his direction faster than the speed of light at his question because you thought he was offended. His calm yet sharp reply could be mistaken for a sarcastic comment. Contrary to what you had thought, he was, in fact, insouciant. You were expecting him to be purple with rage and fire you from your position at that instant. But no, he was just staring at you...with a soft smile.

"I-I was drunk... I didn't mean it!" You dropped your umbrella on one shoulder so that he couldn't see your face.

"Oh no, don't do that... may I?" His gloved hand reached to lift the object veiling your face. "Don't hide that pretty face of yours"

His eloquence left you flustered- you could hear the flutter of a thousand butterflies resonating within the depths of your stomach and the echo of the pounding of your heart creating ripples of sensation throughout your body. "A-Aren't you mad at me?" You exclaimed, your voice trembling. "I mean... my happiness stems from your misery."

"Hmm... for the time being let your imagination run wild. And do tell me, what kind of dances do you dance when there is a shower?"

"Like twirling...swing dance and stuff like that"

"How about ballroom dance?"

"I'm normal at it? But I might step on your shoe or even trip over it if the ground is slippery because of the downpour"

Neuvillette held himself back from wheezing when you mentioned your flaw when it came to dancing. "You like to dance in the rain hm?"

"So, If I shed more tears, will you grant me the opportunity to sway in your embrace, my chérie?"

(Guys, I'm so sorry for Neuvillette's part- It sounds so cheesy because I was so high on caffeine while writing his part 😘😘🤗🤓 trust me it's from all those cups of coffee I consumed during the day since I'll pulling an all-nighter for tests)

Anyways thanks for reading ❤️ Credits to @cafekitsune for the divider!

[sinsmockingbird]

Aight, dis the (F!)MC family with (Yandere!)Yukong request (more like a ramble I guess which you can feel free to adapt to a request/fic as you want) :3

What do you think their children would look like? They'd probably have floofy hairs/tails like Yukong (Foxian/Kitsune genetics I've always thought are probs very strong), and they'd probably grow up very spoiled, by Qingni, who'd I'd imagine would be a great older sister, and by the Astral Express whenever they visit.

I can't help but feel like there'd be some friction there between Yukong and the crew, since the crew might feel something is off about Yukong being overly protective, alongside with Stelle's sudden decision to stay on the Luofu, and Yukong is afraid they might try to take Stelle with them.

I also wonder how Qingni would react to the whole situation in the first place. While she'd probably be very happy to see her mother happy, and to have younger siblings, she might also find Stelle's sudden decision to stay a bit weird (not that'd she'd comment on it).

If Stelle and Qingni grow close during Stelle's stay on the Luofu, I could totally see Yukong using that to further try to convince Stelle to stay, pointing out how they make such a lovely family the three of them together. Something along the lines of, It'd be a shame to throw it all away to go explore, and maybe never get to come back to see them. Who knows, maybe we could give Qingni some younger siblings? She did always want some as a child. Surely it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you somehow ended up pregnant, right?

Sorry for the mess of ideas that this was oeidfvgjherhfgu I had a lot of thoughts after the fic that you made (which I may or may not have read lots of times already). Please feel free to only adapt parts of it/segment it, I can always send other requests in the future with the other sections if they don't mesh well together/get too long if you don't mind.

"PROTECTING" PT.2 | Yukong

PAIRING: Yukong x Afab!Reader

WARNINGS: Fluff, SFW, Slight NSFW, Yandere!Yukong, Manipulation, Alludes to smut & breeding.

AUTHORS NOTE: I love these little rambles and ideas. I tried to include as many of these as possible, and I'd love to hear any more ideas you have!

WHEN YOUR daughter was first born, she was a perfect mix of you and Yukong, with a fluffy tail and ears being the prominent foxian genes in her. She was immediately spoiled and loved by not only you two but the Astral Express as well. She was quickly welcomed into the family, dotted on by someone almost 24/7.

Welt was quickly deemed her Godfather, and was seen as her grandpa considering the fatherly relationship he had with you. Himeko was her Godmother, and she honestly almost cried when you asked her if she'd like to.

Dan Heng was surprisingly protective over her, despite not really knowing... how to treat her, yet he wouldn't dare let someone harm her, like a protective older brother. March 7th was, as expected, absolutely in love with her, declaring her the cool aunt who buys her so much toys, stuffies, clothes- you name it, March will get it.

Qingni was... interesting. She absolutely loved her little sister when she was born, always quick to care and play with her when she got the chance. She'd do anything for her, spoiling her with all sorts of things just like March.

Yet, despite being happy to have a little sister, Qingni couldn't help the weird feeling she had in her chest. Your sudden decision to stay on the Luofu was certainly... sudden, to say the least, and especially how quickly your relationship with her mother grew. While she was happy for Yukong to have found someone to love, she just found it all weird, but she didn't comment on anything, rather just enjoying the fact she has a younger sibling.

Plus, Qingni found herself getting close to you as well. She was really beginning to see you as another mother, despite not calling you mom yet. Which you didn't mind, you were simply happy to have a good relationship with her.

"You and Qingni seem to be getting along fine." Yukong mused as she moved to hug you from behind, nuzzling her face into your neck.

You laugh softly at her affectionate actions, watching as Qingni entertained her baby sister. "I'd like to think so."

"Trust me, she likes you." Yukong reassured, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple before laying her head on your shoulder. "We make quite a lovely family, don't we? Us four."

You thought for a moment, watching as Qingni stopped her sister from chewing on her tail. "Yeah... yeah we do."

Yukong lifted her head, eyeing you for a moment, seeing the way your eyebrows were furrowed together, sensing that something wasn't right. "Is there something wrong, my love?"

"Hm?" You look at her, before quickly shaking your head, then pausing as you thought for a moment. "Nothings wrong, perse... sorry, I'm just having thoughts about missing the Astral Express."

That made worry strike Yukong like a strike of lightning hitting a tree. It wasn't uncommon for you to find yourself having thoughts of the Astral Express crew as well as missing that adventure with them. It scared the old foxian like no other, because she's tried everything to get you to stay here on the Xianzhou with her.

Her ears pulled back against her head, tail swishing back and forth more behind her. She held a hard look on her face when you looked back to gaze at your daughter and Qingni, and Yukong realized what she had to do again to ensure you would stay here with her.

You let out a sudden gasp as you felt Yukong press her front flush against your back, pressing you against the counter you were both standing behind. You quickly gripped the edge of it, eyes widening and face flushing as you felt her press her face into your neck, inhaling your scent while kissing and nipping at your skin.

"Y-Yukong, the girls!" You quickly whispered it with panic, eyes wide as you watched your guys daughters, praying they didn't look over to see one of their mothers pressed so intimately against the other.

"We're fine, they're too distracted by one another," Yukong reassured, her voice low and sultry as she kissed your neck more.

You whimpered softly, before biting your lip to hold back your sounds, not wanting to alert Qingni. You bowed your head slightly, breathing heavy as you felt Yukong grinding her hips against you from behind, letting you feel her growing bulge under her clothes. Her sudden need for you caught you off guard, but you definitely weren't complaining.

"My love, let's go to our room. The girls will be alright by themselves for an hour or so," Yukong murmured, moving to suck on your ear lobe, nibbling on it and making your face flush more.

"J-Just an hour..?" You ask, tilting your head slightly back towards her.

"Just an hour," Yukong repeated, but she had other plans. She was going to keep you locked in your room for however long she wanted, thoroughly breeding you again.

Because there's no way you'd leave the Xianzhou, leave her, if you have a second, maybe third or forth child, right? You wouldn't dare do that to her.

She was going to make sure you'd never leaver.

ENDING NOTES: Sorry this is short! I wanted to keep this part mostly SFW. But I'll maybe do a part 3 if it's asked for.

[nerinefy]

FOREVER YOURS, TRULY...! — NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL PART I

PART II — JING YUAN (TO BE FOLLOWED)

★ synopsis: during a stroll, you find yourself facing him- the love of your life, down on one knee as the clock strikes 12 and the striking lights of the fireworks dance across the sky. despite the blaring noises heard in the background, there is only one thing you hear, "will you be with me? now and forever...?"

★ details: pronouns: you/yours | imagine | fluff | 700+ words

★ DAN HENG ★

You and the Astral Express Crew decided to visit Aurum Alley for their latest festivities for the new year. Due to all the stellaron catching and unrelated side quests along the way, you have never had the chance to explore the rich variety of goods sold throughout the market. Holding hands, you and Dan Heng went and strolled through the bustling streets. It was still quite a gentle and intimate moment despite the rush the alley was filled with. It wasn't often you two had the time to loosen up and think about each other's warmth and presence.

"Oh look, I've been meaning to try those new snacks they have at Tall Auntie's!" March 7th, who in fact was also there the whole time, informed the two of you. "I'll go buy some so sadly I'll have to leave you two here. I mean, not that it's your losses..." She grinned and winked at the two of you while pointing finger guns. "So am I coming or...?" Caelus asks. The pink-haired girl stared at him, annoyed before grabbing his hand with a tug, "we'll be off then," she said as they slowly disappeared into the crowd. In turn, Dan Heng sighed at the two's antics but then turned his face to look at you, squeezing your hand slightly.

With a deep breath, he asks, "Would you like to go somewhere?"

You tilt your head, "Why? Where? And uh...aren't you forgetting the-"

"Do you trust me?" he interrupts the string of thoughts you're blurting out in confusion.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, "I guess they're fine on their own. The blind leading the blind."

He chuckles lightly, "They'll be Welt's problem now sadly." He then leads you towards a secluded place up and near the beautiful shimmering skies.

"Woah, where did you find this place? The view's majestic!" You ask in astonishment, your eyes shining even brighter than the stars above.

"I think I've seen this place somewhere in his memories, and I thought I'd like to show it to you too..." He answered, his eyes wandering towards the sky. "I just realized that...all of these missions we go to...it was just- it was different..." He begins. "Right after you came and traveled with us...everything changed. You gave me more purpose in this life and I'm so grateful for the color you've spread in this world, in our world. Dire situations still give me hope and unwanted circumstances still give me the push to go on...all because of you. Going through all these expeditions and knowing you're there by my side, fills me with ease I've never felt before. You gave me a new home, a place of serenity and security...all in your arms. I know I've been blabbering too much, so I'll stop and get straight to the point..." He says as he slowly gets down on one knee, revealing the small velvet box he's been holding onto the whole time. Sweat dripped down his forehead and his palms began to get shaky despite the snow falling around you- that's the effect you have on him. You gasp as you realize, tears forming in your eyes. "I may not promise forever, but 'til the end of our lives...may I be yours and will you be mine?"

You then grabbed him by the collar to lift him and kissed him, lip to lip, skin to skin, as the fireworks began shooting up to the sky. "I don't want to spend the new year with you." You mumble in between kisses, the man in front of you then wrinkles his forehead in disappointment. "I want to spend my whole life with you..." you giggle as he sighs in relief.

"Happy New Year, my love..." he mutters, a faint blush tainting his pale skin. Click You look from the sides in surprise as you see the crew standing in awe.

"Sorry Dan Heng, we couldn't help it! We just had to..." March 7th says, still holding the camera up near her eye, and Caelus smiling at the two of you.

"Congratulations...I hope we still see you two after the wedding," Welt says while giving you a nod of approval.

"I hope not to see you all after this..." Dan Heng sighs, hiding a chuckle under his breath. With that, you feel a squeeze on your hand once more, and you're reminded that you're not alone anymore. He's forever yours, truly.

©nerinefy 2023-2024 all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate.

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷ now playing

Frances: Look, I’m sorry about my friends. I swear, they aren’t that weird all the time. Well… 

Icarus: [ chuckles ] It’s fine. They seem to care about you a great bunch. 

Frances: I honestly think they would take a bullet for me. I’d do the same for them.

Icarus: That’s good though, I’m glad you have people looking out for you.

Frances: Would you say the same for your friends?

Icarus: Yeah, I think so. This your room?

Frances: Mhm. You can come in.

Icarus: You sure?

Frances: Or we can talk right here. Although I imagine you’re gonna get a bit tired of the drunk people running into the door.

Icarus: [ small laugh ] Good point. You like to collect a lot of things. Is this a rock?

Frances: A geode, I think if I wasn’t a music major, I’d probably be a geologist. 

Icarus: You could always study for another four years.

Frances: Pfft. Absolutely not. I never want to buy another textbook again. 

Icarus: Are you excited for what comes next?

Frances: Actually, about that. I need to talk to you about something.

Icarus: Is it bad?

Frances: Sort of.

Icarus: Then we can talk about it another time. We’re celebrating.

Frances: Icarus…

Icarus: You gonna deny me that?

Frances: [ shakes head ]

Icarus: Good. 

-

Dan: Oye pendejo! Where are you going with my alcohol?!

Ares: JESUS!

Dan: It’s okay I know him. Pues?!

Atlas: No te preocupes, vamos a divertirnos! Mwah! / Don't worry, we're going to have fun!

Dan: [ grumbles ] That fucker.

Ares: Context??

Dan: He literally always does this. He always steals my alcohol!

Ares: You should beat him up.

Dan: I should- Why are you encouraging me?

Ares: I dunno. Feelin’ evil I guess. Got a light?

Dan: Now what the hell is up with you not having a lighter? 

Ares: I do! I just never refill it. 

Dan: I don’t even think said lighter is in the room with us.

Ares: You know there are some things I’m allowed to not be put together with and this is one of them. 

Dan: Here. Keep it.

Ares: I am not keeping your things.

Dan: You sayin’ there’s something wrong with it?

Ares: I’m not doing this with you.

Dan: Oh so you hate me.

Ares: Yep, I guess I do.

Gabriel: Dan! Now why the hell were there two people making out in the entrance? 

Dan: They’re still doing that?

Gabriel: I mean good for them but like… Get outta my way, you know?

Dan: Pfft! Thank you for coming! 

Gabriel: Of course! I brought a bottle of wine but Gum took it. 

Ares: Gum’s here? And she’s alone?

Gabriel: She’s fine. Knows exactly where I’m at, besides something caught her eye. 

-

Frances: You’ve been practicing.

Icarus: I have a great teacher.

Frances: Man, I’m gonna miss this.

Icarus: Sit. I know you’re scared that things are changing.

Frances: Icarus, I need to-

Icarus: I’d like it if you enjoyed this moment with me. Please?

Frances: Okay.

Icarus: When do you leave?

Frances: First week of July. God, leave it to the universe to cosmically fuck up my life.

Icarus: Not even! 

Frances: I mean is it selfish for me to be a tad bit unhappy? Everything I’ve worked for, built up to this very moment and it’s not enough. 

Icarus: Sometimes expectations are just that. A lead up to disappointment. 

Frances: I’m sorry, I’m being so negative right now. We were having a moment and I started to ramble.

Icarus: Don’t apologize. From the time I’ve known you, I can see you’re a bit of an overthinker but! Before you give me that look, it isn’t a bad thing.

Frances: It isn’t bad… It’s horrible.

Icarus: [ chuckles ] Stop it! You like to see things in every perspective and it’s endearing. 

Frances: Said the only person ever.

Icarus: Why are you so keen on giving me a hard time?

Frances: Why not? I think you like it.

Icarus: I like a lot of things about you, Frances. Be here with me?

Frances: Even if it breaks my heart?

Icarus: At least you won’t be alone in that.

[scaredpigeons]

More than some stress relief

Blade x Stelle NSFW 18+ MDNI

CW: Stelle asks Blade to spar with her, and unfortunately that results in some unresolved sexual frustration, because c’mon, he’s still a whole ass man. Luckily, mama Kafka steps in to lend a helping hand. (Not her literal hand, she just buys the toy lol) phone sex, mutual masturbation? The fleshlight blade uses is connected to Stelle through the (magical) necklace that was part of the set. (Magical) creampie.

WARNING: Blade is very violent in his descriptions of how he threatens to bone Stelle. If you’re uncomfortable with him saying things along the lines of: —until the carnage is unrecognizable, —until you’re nothing but hot pulp running through my fingers (just to paraphrase loool) please do not read this. Blade is a very broken man, I was really trying to play off his more violent tendencies with this one. Stelle is so fuckin down bad tho (relatable)

If you are 18+, comfortable with some gory descriptors, and willing to read, please continue! Enjoy.

——————————

🐺👾: you want to…. Spar with blade? Are you a masochist or something? Should I be concerned? 

🦝🗑️: shut up 

🦝🗑️: I have this crazy lance and I don’t really want to hurt anyone by practicing with it 

🦝🗑️: I know he’s got that healing thing going on 

🐺👾: 👀 …. 

🐺👾: I’m telling him you called it that 

🦝🗑️: DONT U DARE 

🦝🗑️: JUST PLEASE ASK THE MAN IF HE CAN SPAR WITH ME WITHOUT KILLING ME 

🦝🗑️: AND DON'T TELL HIM IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HES WEIRDLY INDESTRUCTIBLE 

🦝🗑️: I don’t wanna like, offend him or anything. Obvi I don’t want him to get hurt, but like, the off chance I slip up with this thing… he isn’t gonna get murked. You know? 

🐺👾: okay okay I get it, I’ll ask 

🦝🗑️: 😩🩶🩶💯🔥

🐺👾: he agreed. Here’s the coordinates. Have fun, don’t die. 

————

“Thank you for agreeing to this, I really appreciate it!” 

The man in front of Stelle says nothing, only stares as the winds coming off the water pick up loose strands of his hair, making the inky strands flow behind him. 

“You… remember me, right?” Stelle tentatively asks. 

Still nothing. 

“It’s okay if you don’t, we don’t even have to go through with this, I just thought you would be the best person for what I’m—“ 

“I remember you, Trailblazer. My mind is not so far eroded that I’d forget you so easily.” 

His voice is dark, just as raspy as she remembers it. She has to clench her teeth to suppress a shudder. If March could hear her thoughts, she’d blush and squeal, smacking her arm in scandal. If Dan Heng could hear her thoughts… he’d institutionalize her immediately. 

This man is dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. Stelle had to lie about where she was going just so no one would try to talk her out of it. 

Danger always pulled at something inside her though, that nasty, deranged thing inside her that craved violence and adrenaline. She figured it was a side effect of hosting a stellaron inside her body, but man— did this guy make her wish she could have something else inside her body too.

 *Wink wink*

Aeons. She’s such a fucking simp. If it wouldn’t make her look bat shit insane, she’d smack herself right now just to get her shit together. 

“Oh…” she said instead. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

An awkward pause lingered between them, and she found herself thinking that maybe she was standing a bit too close to him, despite there being at least two feet between them. 

“Are you… doing well? The last time I saw you, Kafka was… helping you feel better.” She said hesitantly. 

It could’ve been her imagination, but she swore that the furrow of his brow softened ever so slightly. 

“We’re not here to discuss such trivial matters.” His voice was harsh nonetheless. 

“Right, right.” Stelle said, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. “So, how do we do this?” 

Blade summoned his sword, dragging his fingertips across the edge before spreading the tainted blood across the flat of it, causing the cracked blade to glow and radiate with unnatural power. 

“It is not your time or place to die here, so luckily for you, I will show restraint.” 

—————

Stelle could tell Blade was holding back, true to his word. 

Any flames she created were either quelled by his winds, or overfanned by his elemental power to the point that they grew too dangerous for the environment around them, or even Stelle herself. 

She found that with her control over the lance, she could call forth and dissipate her fires at will, so the damage to herself was minimal. 

She worried that if the flames grew too large, she’d lose control over them— but every time, she willed them away and they would flicker out, leaving charred shrubbery and stone in their wake. 

Didn’t mean they weren’t hot as shit though.  

The first time she’d used the lance, the freezing temperatures of Jarilo XI dulled just how hot her new weapon could become. 

But now, well she couldn’t tell if her sweat was from the flames or just how hard her opponent was pushing her. 

He was toying with her, clashing together brutally before jumping away and circling her like a hawk. 

He was resistant to her taunts, though keeping up with him left little room for her to pause long enough to think of something to say. 

He seemed completely at ease though, the violence in his eyes and the murderous grin doing nothing to help the degenerate part of her brain that was screaming and crying and throwing up at the opportunity to observe him like this up close, without Dan Heng around to make her feel guilty for admiring this man so much. 

Her arms grew heavy, and she’d not even made him sweat, let alone injure him in any way. 

She knew that the lack of true danger was causing her to remain at a reasonable power level, flash backs to the Herta space station incident making her shudder. 

She was really no match for him in this kind of situation. 

He lunged for her again, and this time, she was too tired to react properly. She parried his strike, but missed the signs of his next move, getting her feet swiped out from beneath her as he tackled her to the ground. His sword stabbed into the dirt just beside her head as he landed on top of her, effectively straddling her as he pinned her with his intense gaze. 

Her eyes flitted back and forth between his as her breath heaved in her chest, her heart racing as she struggled to right herself after being disoriented so badly. 

Something in his expression shifted, and instead of murderous amusement, his gaze seemed… hungry. 

He leaned closer, ever so slowly, and continued staring at Stelle so intently it made her do something so embarrassing she knew she would never live it down. 

She whimpered. 

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he was gone. 

He pulled away from her and disappeared within the same breath, leaving her lying there in the dirt as she caught her breath. 

She ran her hands over her face. “Well fuck.” 

—————

🐺👾: what did you do to him? 

🦝🗑️: ??????? 

🐺👾: last week. When the two of you sparred, did something happen? 

🦝🗑️: ….

🦝🗑️: why 

🐺👾: ever since he got back he’s been fucking pouting. 

🐺👾: well, I mean pouting in the way that blade does. It’s more of a scowl than anything else, but I’ve known him long enough to differentiate between his various types of frowns. 

🦝🗑️: … nothing happened. We fought. I lost, obviously. But no one was hurt or anything. 🙃 everything’s totally normal 

🐺👾 added Kafka🕷️💕 to the chat

🐺👾: Kafka, what’s she hiding? 

Kafka🕷️💕: some sexual tension, most likely. 

🦝🗑️: …. -_- 

🦝🗑️: mother, why hast thou forsaken me????

 Kafka🕷️💕: nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetie. 

Kafka🕷️💕: Bladie may be a tragic creation of the abundance, but his body was once human. It wouldn’t be a far stretch to say that some of the more… human tendencies of a man may still linger within him. 

🐺👾: F

🦝🗑️: F 

🐺👾: so you’re saying he’s pouting and kicking shit because he’s sexually frustrated? That’s fuckin nasty. 

🐺👾: @🦝🗑️ you need to fix this. I don’t wanna look at him sulk anymore 

🦝🗑️: me?!!?!? Tf am I supposed to do??? How is this my fault??? 

🐺👾: you fought him and now he’s horny. Fix it. 

🦝🗑️: … bruh 

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think the traditional way of solving this problem will be the best idea, silver wolf. 🤭

🐺👾: wym? 🤨

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think it’s safe right now for our little trailblazer and Bladie to get together on a more intimate level… he’s still a bit unstable mentally. 

🦝🗑️: you let me fight this man while hES UNSTABLE 

🐺👾: heh. L 

Kafka🕷️💕: fighting is what he knows. It’s what comes natural to him these days. Emotions? Not so much. 

🦝🗑️: I mean… I’m always down to help anyone whenever I can

🐺👾: *tucks hair behind ear* “i’M aLwAys DoWn tO HeLP aNyONe WHeNeVEr I cAn”

🦝🗑️: BRO FIGHT ME 

🐺👾: no thanks, I have better ways to waste my time 

🦝🗑️: ENGAGE ME IN A BATTLE OF FISTICUFFS RN 

🦝🗑️: IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HELP BUT USUALLY I GET NICE REWARDS TOO 

🐺👾: heh… you want a nice reward for this one too? 

🦝🗑️: I STTA ILL COME FIND UR LITTLE HOLOGRAM AND SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU 

🐺👾: wtf does stta stand for you heathen 

Kafka🕷️💕: ooh! She’s used this one with me before. It’s “swear to the aeons.” Cute, right? 

🐺👾: 🙄 

🐺👾 has left the chat

Kafka🕷️💕: I think I have an idea on how you can help, if you’re open to it. 

🦝🗑️: …

🦝🗑️: what do I need to do? 

———

“Stelle sweetie!” Himeko knocked on her cabin door. “You have a package here.”

Stelle nearly slipped as her sock feet slid along the smooth floor of her room in her haste to reach the door. 

She tumbled along gracelessly and threw open her door, huffing as she took the package from Himeko. 

A box, about five hands wide and three hands deep, wrapped in plain brown paper, with a little card tapped on and slathered with all the necessary postage. 

“Thank you!” Stelle said hastily, reaching for her door. 

“Wait—“ Himeko put a hand to the door shaft, stepping forward a bit with worry in her eyes. 

Stelle cringed a bit, looking up at Himeko and trying to hide the shame she felt creeping up the back of her neck. 

“Listen,” Himeko started, eyeing the little card on the package with Stelles name written in pretty, looping letters. “I know you and that stellaron hunter have some strange connection that we aren’t sure about, and I know you’re unsure too, but I just want you to be careful, okay?” 

It took a solid two panicked seconds for Stelle to realize that Himeko was speaking about Kafka, and not the other stellaron hunter she’d so guilty formed a connection with recently. 

When the realization dawned on her, she tucked her package to the side and pulled Himeko into a tender side hug, snuggling into her chest a bit as she usually did. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, Himeko.” Stelle said, pulling away. “It means a lot to me, and I promise I’m being careful. I won’t do anything to jeopardize the safety of anyone on the express.” 

Himeko sighed, smiling as she pulled back too. “I know, I just worry about you. We’re all here to support you through this, you know that.” 

Stelle grinned. “I do, thank you.” 

The red haired woman nodded, smiling still as she said her goodbyes and left Stelle to her own devices. 

She’d never closed and locked her door so quickly before. 

Throwing the package on her bed, she hastily sat beside it and pulled the card from the packaging. 

She took a moment to trace her fingers over the pretty script on the card, before she tore open the envelope and read its contents. 

Stelle, 

Inside this box you’ll find the fun toy I told you about, along with a new shipping label to send it off to Bladie. 

I’m off on my own right now, far away from him, and I figured he’d handle it a lot better if it came from you, and not me. hehe~ 

Also, you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. 

Thinking fondly of you always, 

K 

Stelle blushed a little, Kafka was always saying the strangest things. She tucked the card away in her nightstand and gently pried open the package, not wanting to tear the postage stamps. 

Inside was indeed the… thing that she was told about, and she blushed furiously while looking at the nondescript white box, though the size and shape was very indicative of what was inside.

She pulled the new shipping label out, looking at the address inquisitively and realizing she had no idea where Blade even was, not recognizing the planet. 

She sat it aside and pulled out the other small box inside, opening it up and finding a rather beautiful blue choker necklace. The colour was reminiscent of her garter, and she smiled, happily pulling the gift from its box and wrapping it around her slender throat. 

It clicked nicely in the back, and fit perfectly. She smiled, patting it and thinking about how it was such a thoughtful gift, however strangely unrelated. Then again Kafka was a bit of an enigma regardless, so who knows what her thought process was when putting these two together. 

Stelle closed up the box, slapping the new shipping label over the old one and eyeing it as it sat in the middle of her bed. 

Fuck, I should probably write him a letter, some kind of explination so he doesn’t just throw it away without opening it. 

She scurried to her desk, pulling out a very cutesy animal themed stationary set that March had gifted her after their mission on Jarilo XI. 

The envelopes and cards were soft blue, covered in cute little bunnies and bears and what Stelle thinks are pink raccoons, surrounded with hearts and little stars. 

She laughed at the idea of Blade handling such delicate paper, and got to writing a quick note on her desk.

Hey, 

Don’t hate me, but SW was complaining about your… mood lately, and I thought this might help. I totally fuckin get it, trust me, I understand. Traveling with a group of people that’s more like family than anything else can really put a damper on your… personal time. So please take time for yourself, if not for me, then to at least make silver wolf stop complaining to me that you’re moody. 

I look forward to the day you’ll spar with me again. 

-Stelle 

It might’ve been doing a bit too much, but Stelle couldn’t help but feel like the note might help him to be more receptive to the gift. 

Being a bit delusional never stopped her before, so why should it now? 

She slid the card in the envelope and slapped it to the package, picking it up to go and have it delivered. Hopefully she could feel a bit more at peace once it was gone. 

—————

A quick and impatient knock sounded on his room door, pulling him from his deep meditation on the floor. 

“Hey asshole, you’ve got a package.” 

He and Silver Wolf were sent together to fulfill one of Elio’s scripts, and it was a brief period of lull in their respective duties. 

The inn they were staying at wasn’t lavish by any means, but they were discreet, and that’s really all they could hope for. 

Blade released a breath through his nose as he rose from the floor, walking over and opening up his room to find his fellow hunter standing impatiently, tapping her foot on the rough carpet of the hallway. 

Blade hated carpet in the hallways of inns. Always disgusting and ridiculously coloured. 

“Here.” Silver Wolf shoved the box in his hands, her grin was wide, spreading to her eyes which twinkled up at him with the mischief he tried so desperately to avoid. 

“Who could possibly know where we are right now.” He grumbled at her, though she was already turning to leave. 

“I have an inkling, and hopefully the stick falls out of your ass soon.” She laughed maniacally as she waltzed down the hall. “Enjoy!” 

Blade felt his brow scrunch up tight as he eyed the package. The blue envelope tapped into it was terrible to look at, the childish print making him want to throw it away immediately, but the unfamiliar lettering spelling his name across the paper made him pause. 

He brought the package to his bed, sitting down and thumbing open the envelope. 

The contents of the card made his stomach drop and then lurch into his throat. He was ready to run silver wolf through with his sword. 

Calm yourself. 

He took steady breaths, though he was angry, he was also rather curious about what exactly was in the box. 

With a carefulness he didn’t remember he had, he pried open the package to find a smaller white box without any words or indicators of what could be inside. 

He lifted the lid, only to drop it in shock at what lurked within. He knew what that was. He was older than most but he was still a man, and he knew exactly what had been sent to him— what was to help his “mood.” 

He sighed, pinching his temples. He didn’t know whether he wanted to thank silver wolf or strangle her. Either way, he’d be getting some kind of relief today. 

———————

Stelle was eating dinner when she felt the first phantom touch. 

Fingertips, as soft as a whisper, ghosting over her pubic mound and making her stomach dip. 

Her eyes darted around, but everyone else was still enjoying their meal, chatting quietly together with the melody of silverware accompanying their voices. 

She was sat beside Dan Heng tonight, but both of his hands were above the table. 

She leaned back to look at him below the waist, looking to see if he’d manifested his tail and was making a pass at her, or more likely, was absentmindedly flicking it about like he did whenever he took his secondary form. 

But no, he was tailless this evening, and now eyeing her a bit warily as her eyes darted around. 

“You okay?” He murmured, not wanting to bother the others. 

The touch ghosted along her outer labia now, making her drop her fork in shock. 

Everyone was looking at her now, and she felt something pulse around her throat, right where her new necklace rested. 

Her face heated, and she placed her utensils onto her half finished plate before scooting from behind the table. 

“I’m… not feeling the greatest. I think I’m gonna go to bed early, if you all don’t mind.” 

She stood quickly, standing there for a moment as the touches continued, soft and inquisitive. 

“Are you alright?” Welt asked, concerned. “Would you like me to bring you some tea, or medicine?” 

“No!” Stelle jumped, before she caught herself and smiled sheepishly. “I’m alright, just feeling a little off. Probably just need some good sleep. I’ll see you all in the morning?” 

They all nodded, watching her go with worried eyes, but letting her leave without more questioning, which she was so grateful for. 

As soon as she made it to her room, she felt the first touch swipe through her core, and she nearly keened. 

Her throat pulsed, the necklace weakly glowing in the dark of her room. 

Her body felt hot. She was embarrassed at the amount of wetness that was pooling in her underwear, but most importantly, she was so fucking confused at what was going on. 

Something wet and blunt prodded at her entrance, and her knees buckled as she locked her door. 

She nearly crawled to her bed as her choker pulsed and pulsed with a weak glow, and the blunt thing, which felt suspiciously like a pair of fingers, finally slipped inside her, curiously prodding around, as if feeling her out. 

She slapped a hand over her mouth as she squeezed around the phantom digits, their touch lingering at her g spot with ridiculous precision. The fingers withdrew and she breathed a sigh of relief, though it was short lived as something much, much larger prodded itself at her entrance. 

Her eyes widened, and she scrambled to pull Kafkas card from her bedside drawer. 

“you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. “

Stelle hadn’t realized what those words meant at the time, but as the blunt head of a ridiculously sized phallic object pushed at her hole, the meaning slapped her in the face like a rouge automaton. 

Her back arched off the bed as the phantom cock pushed into her, and she choked on a moan as it buried itself deep within her. She was so ridiculously wet she wanted to cry, and knowing who was on the other end of this feeling made her eyes roll back into her head. 

The thrusts started slow, but slowly worked their way up to something more intense, almost violent. Her insides churned, and she felt the telltale signs of an orgasm building up so quickly she might scream. 

No, no no no. She scrambled, reaching for the necklace, but when her fingers reached the latch, the thrusts changed angles, pounding directly into her g-spot and she cussed into the dark of her room. 

Her orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave, crashing into her and seeping deep into her bones. It was the first actually satisfying orgasm she’d had in an incredibly long time. 

Her fingertips shook as they lingered on the necklace a moment, before she threw them back to her sheets, gripping them tightly as the thrusts continued. 

Fuck, this feels too good.

Through the post orgasm fog, she wondered if he knew. 

Did he know it was connected to her? 

She suddenly felt overcome with guilt. If he didn’t know, this felt a little like taking advantage of his struggles. If he did know, then she wanted to hear him say it out loud, that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. 

She wanted him to hear exactly what he was doing to her. 

With shaking hands and twitching thighs, she slapped around her bed for her phone, biting her lip through the pleasure to scroll through her contacts. 

It was nearly at the bottom, and the last time it was used was a hack of Silver Wolf’s, and Kafkas words, not his own. But she had to try regardless. 

She clicked the call button, bringing her phone to her ear as she bit back moans. 

Suddenly, the thrusting within her stopped, though the phantom cock remained buried within her. 

She gasped as the ringing came to a halt as the line picked up.

There was no answer, though she swore she could hear his breathing, just a bit heavier than usual. 

“Don’t… don’t stop.” She whispered. 

She thought she heard his breath catch in his throat. She definitely heard the swallow before he spoke. 

“What are you talking about.” His gravelly voice reverberated through the phone, and she felt the cock inside her move ever so slowly, in and out. 

She bit her lip. “I didn’t know at first, I swear.” Her thoughts were scrambled as the soft thrusts continued, and the knowledge that he was actively fucking himself with the toy while she spoke make her stomach jump in pleasure. 

“You didn’t know what?” He said, voice low and nearly at a whisper. 

“It’s… we’re… we’re connected.” 

The toy stopped, and she sucked in a breath of relief, hoping to gather her thoughts so she could properly explain herself. 

Suddenly a moan was ripped from her chest as his cock thrust into the toy with vigor, and his intense pace was picked back up tenfold. 

She tried to hide it, but the damage was done, and if he didn’t know before, he certainly did now as he listened to her whine and whimper through the phone. 

“I thought the inside felt far too realistic.” He growled. “You’re squeezing me so tight, little Nameless.” 

She gasped, his voice along with the stimulation was far too much, and another orgasm was quickly approaching. 

She tried to play it off like she wasn’t being fucked within an inch of her life though. 

“Yeah well, it’s… been a while since I’ve gotten any action, s-so forgive me for being a little tense.” She stammered. 

He switched his thrusts to hard and deep, so hard Stelle could nearly feel the sensation of his hips hitting hers, and she’s almost positive the fat of her lower half would be rippling in the recoil if he were actually here. 

“I knew as soon as I saw you that you were just a needy hole begging to be filled.” Blade said, voice deep and oh so condescending. 

Stelle fisted the sheets, her eyes nearly rolling into her skull as her needy moans slipped through clenched teeth. He was right, he was so right— but that didn’t mean she needed to concede so easily. 

“That’s bold talk…” she hissed, biting her lips until they felt raw. “…For someone who literally ran away from m-me as soon as his blood traveled south.”  

His dark laugh made her squeeze around him, and she knew he could feel it because the laugh trickled off into a deep groan that set her face on fire. She felt like her fingertips were alight with electricity, like her body was attempting to defy the artificial gravity on the express as she arched off her sheets. 

The pounding within her never faltered as he continued speaking his vile, filthy words at her. 

“You’re lucky I did, little Nameless.” She could almost imagine his murderous grin, the violence that vibrated through his voice was astounding. “If I had stayed I would have fucked you until not even your beloved crew would have been able to recognize the carnage I’d left behind.”

She couldn’t stop the noise that flew from her throat, a guttural keening that had her gripping her cellphone in embarrassment as he laughed once more. 

“Oh?” He teased, voice edged with gravel and venom. “You must be desperate to enjoy the idea of me fucking you until you’re nothing but hot pulp slipping through my fucking fingers.”

Oh she was so desperate, so fucked. If anyone else had said something so absolutely horrifying, she’d have run far, far away. 

“Does the rest of the express crew know how fucking depraved you are?” His thrusts seemed to pick up speed, which would’ve seemed nearly impossible, except she couldn’t exactly think at the moment, only sob as they slammed against that spot inside her over and over again until she felt herself slipping slowly. 

“Do they know that their precious little star wants to be fucked by a monster?” He snarled, and she cried out into the soft light of her room, thrashing around as her orgasm teased its way at her— but she was holding it back, why, why?

“Please,” she gasped. “Please, can I—“ oh, she thought distantly. Oh I’m so fucked up. 

Blade groaned, the slick sounds of him thrusting into the toy ringing in her ear. “So desperate, so polite. You really are something else.”

She keened, arching her back as the feeling licked at her further, so close to toppling over the edge.

“Go on then,” Blade whispered darkly. “Cum for me.” 

It crashed over her, more powerful than anything she could remember feeling. It pulsed through her in quick waves, so strong and violent as he just kept going. 

It started to dance into sickly sweet overstimulation as she heard his breath quicken, and she steadied her breath, wanting to savor this moment. 

“You know,” she breathed. “I’m a lot tougher than you think.”

His breath stuttered, his pace faltering ever so slightly. 

“I could take it,” she whispered. “I don’t think you’d hurt me in any way I didn’t want you to.” 

He faltered, and she heard him cuss under his breath through the phone.

“Yeah?” He whispered. “You’d take what I give you?”

She nodded at her ceiling, knowing he couldn’t see her, but her mind was too foggy with brutal pleasure to think straight. He was undoing her. 

“Every disgusting, violent, nasty thing you��d give me Blade,” she said, clutching the sheets as tears welled behind her eyes, praying he was almost finished but simultaneously never wanting it to end. “I’d take it so well for you, and I’d thank you for it.” 

“Fuck.” Blade moaned, deep and guttural, and his thrusting seized inside her. Much to her shock, she could feel the warmth of him filling her up, pump and after pump of him coating her insides. 

They both lay there, staring at their ceilings and breathing heavily over the phone, not speaking but not really wanting to anyways. 

Finally, once the breath returned to her lungs unlaboured, she felt him pull himself from the toy. 

She felt like she’d been hollowed out, like a crater had been formed where her insides should be, and without him there plugging her up—-her guts would fall out and she’d be left empty. 

He made a confused noise, and just as he did she felt the telltale squelch of cum slipping from her still twitching insides, and she groaned in frustration. 

“Well then,” he chuckled, softer now than before— almost a forbidden sound. “That makes cleaning up easier for me.” 

She smacked her hand over her face. “This is the weirdest toy ever invented, and I'm going to cry the next time I have to face Kafka.” 

“I figured this had something to do with her,” he said, shuffling noises heard from his end of the line. “She can never stay out of my business for too terribly long, unfortunately.” 

“Mine too it seems.” Stelle sighed. She smiled when he made a neutral sound of agreement. 

“You sound like you’re in a better mood.” She said, uncaring of the consequences.

“Well, before I realized what this really was, I was just hoping to release some inconvenient pent up energy.” He said, voice flat. “But I suppose doing it this way has added benefits. I’m no fool, I understand how the human brain works.”

“So this… helped you?” Stelle asked tentatively. 

He sighed. “I’d be lying if I said it was entirely useless.” 

Stelle smiled, stroking the choker around her throat, the delicate glow now completely faded. 

“I’ll keep my end of the connection on, it's simple enough. Just call me next time, okay? I don’t need to embarrass myself at dinner again.”

“I make no such promises.” She thought she heard the faintest of smiles in that last sentence before the line went dead.  

[bonknigirlinthehood]

LEISURE TIME [2]

Blade brings you out for shopping!.

Author’s Note: I can’t believe I actually finished this because I need papa blade content so much. Anyway, this will be the last part of Leisure Time. Next, I wanted to make Dan Feng or Jing Yuan…, but the Dan Feng one will be most likely angst since my dude really left his child alone out there [bottom text].

Warnings/CW: Family content, the reader used she/her pronouns but only mentioned like 2-3 times so mostly gender neutral. Blade tries hard to be a father, family fluff, it’s just a sugar overdose, Blade dressing like a criminal while his bby dressed like a princess. Reader is a toddler/child around age 4-6, Kafka and SW are here but only for background characters. Blade is weak for his child. Icanthelpmakingitbladexdaughterreadersinceihavedaddyissues

"Hey"

"Hm?"

"You see that guy over there?"

"The one with black coat?"

"Don't you think he looks suspicious??"

"I think so…should we report him?"

"I don't know man…but he looks like a criminal, wearing sunglasses and a mask like that…huh?"

"Daddy!"

"W-what's that kid doing there??"

"–wait did that kid just call him daddy?"

The two guards who were gossiping suddenly come to a halt when they see you running towards Blade. They look mortified seeing a little kid literally bolting towards a man who looks like he escaped prison just 2 hours ago.

"Daddy! The shopkeeper gave me this! It's delicious, you should try it!" You jump in excitement, both hands holding something akin to dango while Blade crouches and opens his mask, and takes a bite of the food.

"Mmm…it's sweet and sticky" he commented, "you should brush your teeth after we get back–or your teeth will rot" 

You gasp, then nod obediently. Blade picks you up so he can walk to the next destination while you eat your snack. Passing the guards who were gossiping about him just a few minutes ago and shooting them a glare. 

The guards stay silent when Blade passes by them, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you think we will get into trouble if we report him?" One of them asks after the subject of their conversation at least 30 meters away from them.

"Yeah, for sure. Let's just ignore him for now…"

The two of you walk into the busy shopping district, the place is bustling with people. It was a semi-outdoor place where the roof was transparent, so people could enjoy walking without worrying about rain or heat.

You look around curiously, still chewing the snack without realizing the mess you made in your mouth. Blade has to stop for a bit to clean it with the wet tissue he always brings whenever the two of you are out. Many people take a glance and giggle, seeing a man dressed like a criminal wiping off the mouth of his child.

"I'm full, daddy" You hold up the remaining snack to your father, expecting him to eat the rest. Blade sighs, throwing the tissue to the trashcan and taking the leftover snack from your little hand all the while picking you up again back to his hold. 

"All right, fine" Blade bites into the food, and back walking down the shopping district, looking for the children's section.

And he knows he is at the right place when your eyes suddenly light up, getting excited seeing lots of toys getting displayed from each store you pass. You have never seen so many kinds of toys before! You unconsciously lean your body forward, trying to look more closely at the display toys to the point Blade has to hold you tighter so you won't fall. 

"Can we buy toys?Please?" You begged, giving him the best puppy eyes you could give. Blade looks at you with his same deadpan expression, it's just that he's screaming inside because he wants to take a photo of your puppy eyes so badly.

"Okay, which shop do you want to go to?" He finally asked. Your eyes gleam and start looking for a store with toys that really get your attention before pointing to one of the stores. "That one, Daddy!" You point your finger at the shop that has music boxes on one of their shelves. 

Blade nods and enters the shop you picked. There are quite a lot of wooden toys in this shop, and your eyes sparkle at the sight alone. You really like wooden toys for some reason, and everyone except you knows why. It’s just Blade refused to talk about it and let your mind wander on your own.

As he puts you down inside the store, you waste no time looking around eagerly, trying every new and interesting toy you find (with Blade’s help so you won’t accidentally break one). Before long, you find yourself engrossed in one of the music boxes. It has an intricate design and a variety of music sheets to be played, and the figurine is a little girl playing with a swan. You keep coming back to that specific music box even after roaming the store twice.

“Do you want that one?” Blade asks, and you nod eagerly, eyes still glued to the said music box. Blade knows once you have something that catches your eyes and attention, there’s nothing that can stop you from having it. A trait you inherited from him, which sometimes annoys him too while Kafka keeps teasing him about it.

At the cashier, you do a little jump, impatiently waiting for the cashier lady to wrap the music box before putting it into a bag. Blade takes the bag and gives it to you, telling you to be careful.

“Thank you, Daddy!” You chirped happily while receiving the bag carefully, looking inside it and smiling, can’t wait to unbox it at home!. The bag was a little too big for you, so when the two of you are out of the store, Blade takes the bag back from you before holding your hand to walk together.

You swing Blade's hand around along with yours, humming and giving out an occasional yelp of surprise whenever you see something interesting. Your father makes sure he holds your hand tight, but just enough to not hurt your little one. It wasn't until the two of you passed the food court that you stopped in your tracks. Blade looks over and calls your name, but your eyes are fixated on one of the stalls, a crepes stall. 

Blade knows exactly what you are going to do next. 

You tilt your head to him ever slowly, all the while putting on the most overkill puppy eyes you could muster to him.

He immediately averted his gaze, avoiding your pleading look and pretending to not see anything. He attempts to pull your hand and make you walk again, but you refuse, pulling off your hand from his hold, crouching and now sulking. 

"I want it!" You pout, not caring about passersby looking over. Blade sighs and now crouches in front of you, pulling his mask down and taking off his sunglasses to see you more clearly. 

"You already had too many sweets today, You'll have stomach ache if you eat more" 

You pout even more hearing his explanation, and when Blade is about to pick you up, you writhe and attempt to set yourself free from his hold to no avail. Your power is clearly no match to him and he easily picks you from the ground. You hit his shoulder a few times in upset, now giving him teary eyes.

"Please, Daddy?, Pleaaseeee?, I want to try it" You beg, whining and clasping your hands together. Blade sighs in defeat, looking back and forth between you and the crepes stall. 

"Fine, but you have to promise me to eat twice the amount of your veggies tonight" 

He looks at you with a serious face and you gasp. Twice the amount of your normal veggies!!, now that gets you doubting. But your desire to try that thin-looking food is so strong, that you close your eyes and nod vigorously, hoping you could eat the veggies tonight while Blade sighs again and walks towards the crepes stall.

After a few minutes of choosing flavors and you watching intently how the worker makes the crepes, you finally get to try the food!. You bite into the cream first, causing a mess in your mouth. It was delicious! You immediately went over and took another big bite, not giving your father a chance to wipe your mouth. 

"Is it good?" He asks, and you nod with a smile, mouth full of whipped cream and other toppings. "Just eat it slowly, your tummy will hurt if you eat too fast" Blade added, wiping off the cream around your mouth. While he waits, Blade decides to chat with Kafka and inform her about where he is, attaching your photo devouring the crepes. He cringed a bit at the mess, and the high possibility of him needing to finish the rest of it when you full, at least he was used to it already, at the beginning he always threw away his leftover food but now he just eat it without hesitation.

Kafka: Awww, cutie pie eating her snacks well.

Silverwolf: Damn that crepes look good, what crepes stall was it?

Blade: She needs to eat a double portion of her veggies tonight.

Kafka: haha, Bladie seems to act more like a strict parent now~

Blade: She got spoiled too much.

When he looks away from his phone, to his surprise, you are actually eating all of the crepes, currently licking your fingers for the excess cream. Blade immediately pulls out his pack of tissue and clean both your hands and mouth before pulling out your bottle of water and giving it to you.

“Drink”

You take the bottle from him and drink it vigorously, looking around as you wait for your father to finish cleaning and throwing away the trash.

“All right, we should go back now. You have to keep your promise of eating twice the amount of your veggies tonight, okay?” Blade warned you, and you nodded, raising one of your arms so he could pick you up from the chair. “Good girl”.

As he puts you safely in his arms, he can’t resist the urge to kiss your cheeks, slightly chubby and red after eating the crepes. So he does, kissing your soft cheeks and you laugh at his action, before giving him a kiss in return.

“Can i go and buy the crepes now?”

“Not yet, just a little bit more”

Silverwolf clicked her tongue in annoyance as she waited beside Kafka who was busy (secretly)  taking pictures of Blade and you exchanging kisses. She smiles so proudly at the results, before finally letting the gamer girl buy her crepes after the father and child pair is gone.

“Bladie has grown to be such a good father now~”

After arriving back home at the Stellaron Hunter base, you already fall asleep. Blade puts you to bed first, and when he is about to leave, he glances at the bag containing the music box. Well, he was just a tiny bit curious, so he decided to open it and see if it required to be assembled together.

Needless to say, he got too engrossed at building the music box, and accidentally building the entire thing. Blade then decides to put the finished music box back into the box and seal it again, and good to say you don’t suspect a thing when you wake up and finally get to open your new music box.

You spent a lot of time looking at it in awe, even finishing the two servings of your veggies without realizing it (Blade feeds you since your eyes are too glued to the music box).

“I want to build something like this too!” You exclaim, and Blade immediately feels bad for actually finishing building the whole thing by himself, so the next day he goes out again and buys another one with a different model this time, claiming that this one comes in many parts and you need to build it yourself, “unlike the one yesterday where it came finished”.

You are so excited, spending the whole day trying to assemble the new music box. Blade helps you too, helping you put the parts that need a lot of force to put be together. It was a bit frustrating, but you enjoyed it, even more so since your father is there to help you out. 

When it’s finished, you put it side by side together with the one from yesterday, enjoying your hard work before falling asleep because of the exhaustion.

It’ll be a little secret Blade keeps for himself. Well, maybe until you are old enough to finally realize it, but for now, he just keeps it for himself. 

[luce-ing]

Dan/Blair fics

All the Lights that Light the Way are Blinding - 5.1k - "Blair, 25 and sparkling and starting over."

good night bad morning - 19.2k - Blair refuses to be so hard up that she's giving Dan Humphrey the eye.

this is how it’s meant to be - 23.8k - Chuck buys Henry his first bowtie and a three-piece purple suit to match. Dan buys Henry his first baseball glove and comes over every Friday afternoon to play catch. Blair watches them play together and keeps thinking back to when she'd asked Dan if he didn't think it would matter that her baby was another man's child so many years ago. She remembers how, in that much too earnest way of his, he'd said, "It wouldn't to me."

the milk and honey route - 32.2k - She wishes Dan Humphrey had never taken a seat across from her their first week here. She wishes she didn’t have to contemplate the way she feels about him at all.[or, Yale AU].

Checking It Twice - 6.2k - Blair creates a checklist for her "perfect man", but someone surprising happens to match up to her demands.

oh la la, c'est si doux - 2.2k - Dan loses his voice. Blair doesn't miss a beat.

crash and burn girl - 11.7k - Blair is not prepared for the full force of Humphrey's affections.

write this down - 35.3k - “I am so going to regret asking, but—what exactly are you getting at, Blair?” Blair takes a deep breath, sitting up straight, and lets it all come out in a rush: “Come with me to Paris and pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Wrapped in Ribbons - 20.6k - Dan leaves. Blair gets everything she thought she wanted. And they don't ever think about one another. The rational part of him — the part that recognizes Chuck and Blair rely on one another in a way that escapes him, and the part that never could quite believe Blair Waldorf was his girlfriend — that part doesn’t believe for a second she’ll show up to the airport. He’s ashamed to admit there’s another piece of him, small as it may be, that has taken the shape of a hope balloon and refuses to deflate. Dan is fairly certain it’s the same part to blame for kissing Blair the first time, or writing about her the first time, or thinking that telling her he loved her was ever a good idea.

[i-like-media]

S3 - E5 - The High School Reunion

Nahhh you see, I'm not buying the episode's ending narrative of Dan always having been liked. Not with both Chris and Dan talking about them getting bullied/ridiculed. As someone who grew up with undiagnosed ADHD/Autism, my ignorance has always been exploited to be the butt of the joke. And I don't think the ending is any different from that. (strap in, it's a long one)

In this episode we learn Dan bullied Chris back then too, but we ALL know Dan is a very reactionary guy who acts largely on "setting things straight". It's not that outlandish to think Dan either acted his frustrations from getting bullied out on Chris OR Chris being caught in the crossfires of Dan getting back on someone.

And Chris honestly had it Terrible... Just look at how much he's been with his class and done for them, and how little they remember him.

Elise wants Chris to have a good time and reunite with old friends (to get rid of Dan), so when Dan shows up she locks him in a locker... And he responds like this:

He's BEEN in those lockers before. His classmates PUT him there.

And he desperately wants Chris to see nothing's changed.

But Chris only remembers High School positively on his end... (even though he got wedgied too) So what gives?

It's because Chris stayed ignorant, but Dan didn't. Dan likely used to be just as ignorant as Chris, trusted people, and got hurt because of it. He learned not to trust people and to assume everyone's out to get him, because it's easier than getting humiliated or tricked, again. Chris never did! He always assumed it was just his friends goofing off, even though he got hurt in the process. And we can feel that in a later scene too.

Yes, Dan could be saying this because he genuinely thinks the costume is dumb, but if they both were getting bullied, Chris would very likely have been ridiculed for wearing it! So in his messed up Dan way, he DID try to save Chris, because HE'S learned to not trust any smiling faces.

Which is very apparent in the next scene, where he's strung up from the ceiling after he'd fallen.

If you watch the episode, "BACK OFF" doesn't sound like his usual overly confident and aggressive tone. For a second, he sounds a bit frightened. He's constantly struggling to get out and doesn't say anything besides threatening people to leave him alone. People start listing all the ways he's taken revenge on them..... and then start cheering. Now, usually in a show like this, the main character would stop struggling and be baffled by the positive reception of his appearance.... but not Dan. He keeps warning people to stay away and keeps struggling.

People are laughing and cheering as they try to get him down, and he starts panicking. some tense music picks up as he flails, music usually used (in other cartoons too) when a character is in a scary situation.

He falls to the ground, looks up at everyone laughing

And runs. He doesn't try to fight anyone, he just runs.

And Elise and Chris respond with this:

"So your classmates actually LIKED Dan?"

"High school was somehow not as I remembered..."

So what happened here? Well, that's how they got bullied. That's how it started. And that's often how autistic people get bullied, too. They pretend to be nice to gain your trust, and then exploit that trust to belittle you, bully you and put you into humiliating situations. All while keeping up the "nice" act to make said autistic person doubt themself about whether or not the hurt they feel is warranted or not.

Chris isn't remembering High School wrong... Dan was right. They haven't changed. Even though they remember Dan fondly, he was never their friend. He was their play thing. Their personal jester to poke at and make fun of BECAUSE he reacted and lashed out. Chris never did, which is why he was never deemed "interesting" enough by his peers to be remembered.

Dan even says it himself in the scene after, trying to explain to Chris why it's all fake, but after all these years, Chris is still too ignorant to see it.

Dan is explaining to Chris as clearly as he can, how these people used and bullied them. They took advantage of their struggle to read social cues and used them both for entertainment.

At the end of the day, they exploit Dan's struggles with social cues again to convince him they all genuinely liked him for who he is (conveniently leaving out all the times they pushed him in lockers)... While in reality, he was only ever good for bringing entertainment. What's even sadder, is that Chris envies him. He still can't see the full picture and wishes he could be in that spotlight.

Showing that ultimately it's not JUST the classmates that haven't changed, but Dan and Chris haven't either.

And it's another reason as to why they're still together after all these years. The only real friends they HAD were each other.

[jacksjargon]

I'm typically only a reblogger when it comes to AFTG, but I physically couldn't help it when I stumbled across these shirts. So, here are some funny shirts that the Foxes would wear and why:

Aaron, for obvious reasons. Nicky have it to him and he wears it in secret. It's his comfort pajamas.

Renee gave this to Andrew and he wore it one (1) time and it was at an exy banquet while wild and fervent protests about his past were all over.

Any of them, really, but I imagine a three way tie between Wymack (not paid enough for this), Alison (she gives the vibe), and Dan (when anyone talks to her that she doesn't know)

Matt vibes. Dan defffffffinitely pegs that man. He thanks her.

Andrew. Renee gave him this one, too, but it's a common sight.

Aaron. Maybe Katelyn got this for him as a joke and he wears it as some pathetic, wet cat, Minyard way of processing love. They got engaged the same day. It becomes Aaron's lucky shirt.

This is either Nicky or Allison's. I feel like Nicky would wear it ironically, but it could also be one of those lesbian things for Alison

Aaron. Neil gets it for him and it's how they start to bond.

Kevin, little history bitch

Bee. The team gets it for her for her birthday. She wears it religiously every Friday.

Hear me out: Kevin. It starts as a joke because he's the only single fox (in a world where he and Thea aren't together, I'm not particularly fond of that ship), but then he wears it on a date because he's a dumbass at heart and forgot that the team would totally fuck with his closet and he managed to charm and bag the sexiest, most emotionally intelligent woman ever. They last for two years before Kevin finally realized he's gay, but they stay friends and laugh over everything.

Dan. She gives mad homebody vibes outside of exy.

Neil. Self explanatory.

Matt. He's such a wife guy, and honestly, good for him. I know that I would 100% let Danielle Wilds do whatever the hell she decided was best for me. Oh my shit.

Renee. This was from Andrew, as revenge for the other shirts. She treasures it, but only wears it on his birthday.

Alison and Neil buy it for the twins. I'm a strong advocate for bitchy friends. Love that for them

They only manage to evade death via Neil's survival skills, a pair of strappy heels, a spoon, and a small frog. Don't ask.

Matt and Nicky unironically share this shirt.

It was originally Matt's, but Dan claimed it as hers, and now he just sorts it into her clothes pile when it's his turn.

Wymack. I think Kevin would rather die than get this, so Dan (his adoptive sister), Alison (nosy bitch #1), and Neil (nosy bitch #2) tag team and sign his name for him. He goes on to have a mental breakdown, but he and Wymack get closer. Somehow it's revealed that Nicky wins the bet regarding what's going on between Wymack, Abby, and Bee.

Andrew bought this for Kevin.

Alison and Renee have matching shirts exactly like this. In response, Neil and Andrew have matching shirts that say "I like it bushy" with a cat in a bush. It's the first time the upperclassmen see Andrew smile like that without involving Neil.

This is what inspired this, actually. So, Neil. He'd wear this out and in press conferences just to piss Kevin off. Gives Andrew a heart attack every time he sees it, though he'll never admit it. No one's really sure how or where it came from, there's actually a betting pool regarding this. Alison has money on Andrew buying it. Nicky thinks it was Kevin. Renee even joined in by offering Neil.

(in reality, it was Abby. She thinks shit like this is funny. She's a fox, after all)

[fairvstairs]

DAN AND MATT WEDDING!!!

The events take place about 4/5 years after their graduation.

You could say that their wedding is the most anticipated of the year.

Because of their careers a lot of journalists tried to crash the wedding to get good pictures of the foxes. Neil was in charge of hiring the security but one of them disguised himself and got past them. Andrew smashed his camera and almost punched him.

The wedding is amazing, almost everything is perfect, but the proposal couldn't have gone more wrong. After buying the ring, Matt goes to Neil's apartment to show him. Andrew lives in another city, they are in different teams, but they share custody of a cat. Of course, with their luck, when Matt goes to leave... the ring is no longer in its container. The cat swallowed it. Of course he did. They go to the vet but they just have to wait for... nature to take its course. When it finally does- it is not Matt's ring. It's a normal ring. Not his very expensive engagement ring. They look everywhere in the house for it but it's just gone out of thin air. He starts to think, what if it's a sign? What if he's not meant to marry Dan? What if this is the way of the universe to tell him that he shouldn't even ask her? Neil slaps him to make him come to his senses. It works.

Later that night, at dinner, while he's sitting in front of Dan, he has to pretend that everything is fine. She, of course, notices that something is wrong but he just blames it on a rough round of practice. After they finished cleaning he gives a kiss and then goes to take a shower. He has only taken his pants off when he hears something hit the floor. He takes a good look around and that's where he spots it: his ring! He inadvertently screams out of joy only for Dan to come rush into the bathroom, thinking he has fallen. They both stare at each other for a couple of minutes: her, still with her hand on the door handler, looking at him with wide eyes and him, in only his shirt and boxes, with the ring in his hands. Matt lets out a breath, kneels and asks her.

Neil is the best man, Allison is the maid of honor and Renee officiates the wedding. Nicky cries after her speech. Very loudly.

Bee, Abby and Wymack are sitting in the front row, he walks her down the aisle. He doesn't immediately let her go, he just looks at her while nodding his head, he then gives her a kiss on the forehead and goes to take his seat. He takes Abby's hand between his own and doesn't let go for the entire ceremony.

Dan is the most beautiful bride ever and, even if their wedding is considerably small, everything looks and feels like a fairytale. Of course, Allison was the wedding planner.

They do a private first look and Matt immediately starts crying. They don't really talk much, they just hold each other while silently crying. Tears of joy, of course. Dan's cheeks hurt by the end of the ceremony.

They get married in late June, at the beach. (I don't even like beach weddings but it's just perfect for them!)

Dan's vows are absolutely amazing but Matt's just leave everyone speechless. Witnesses claim they saw Kevin Day wipe away his tears. He will later be seen scream at Aaron Minyard that some sand got in his eyes.

Matt doesn't even wait for Renee to finish her sentence ("You may now kiss the bride") that he immediately lunches himself at Dan. The kiss lasts for a long time. And I mean a very long time. Nicky whistles.

During the reception, Matt takes Neil aside and thanks him for being the best best man. He knows it's not easy for him being in the spot light and he really appreciates it. Neil thanks him for giving him this opportunity. He looks for Andrew and spots him walking towards the beach with his phone at his ear, away from the eyes of everyone else. He, of course, follows him. They stay in silence for a while.

"Would you want to do this one day?" the blonde asks.

"Would you?"

Neil expects Andrew to say "I asked you first," but, instead, he takes out a box and hands it to him. Inside there isn't a ring but a key, it's bigger and heavier than the others. On it there is a writing that says "Stay forever".

"My coach called, the transfer was accepted. I'm moving to your team."

Five months later, they enter their new house for the first time. Just them, two cats and two rings on their fingers.

[iawaaaaaa]

CHAPTER 2 ☆ WONDERHOY!

re-collide of stars - a writer!dan heng x singer!reader smau

wc: 412

"Thank you for coming with me! Given the fact all of you are busy…" You say as Firefly, Sunday and Robin follow you. "No way. Declining a request from THE y/n? Never." Firefly playfully says. "It's nothing, Y/N! Me and Sunday's schedule was actually free today! I also want some new make-up…" Robin adds on. "Well, I came here because of Robin." "Gasp, I should've known you do not love me…!" "Wait I didn't mean tha-"

"IS THAT THE PENACONY TRIO???" An energetic voice cuts off Sunday as everybody's gaze turns to the optimistic girl. "I'M MARCH 7TH! I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR WORK!!! PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME!!" She introduces herself while kind of begging you. "WAIT THE MARCH 7TH?? IM A BIG FAN OF YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY!! I'D LOVE TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU!!" "Here we go again, Y/N coming back with her energetic charisma." Sunday says, visibly annoyed. (i wonder why :3 - iara) Firefly and Robin are clearly holding their laugh. "YAYAYAAYAYAY THANK YOU MISS Y/N!!!" "YOU'RE TOTALLY WELCOME!! "Please calm down. We are in a public area."

After many photos later, you two exchange contact information but before march leaves, you speak up. "How mamy friends do you have?" "3! Why do you ask?" March asks, a bit confused. "Here." You say as you take out 4 VIP tickets for the show. (dont ask where the tickets came from. thank you very much. -iara) "See you at the show?" "WOOOOAH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! platonically, ofcourse…. BYEBYE Y/N!" March runs away after saying that. "What an energetic girl… My social battery is absolutely drained." you think. "She kinda looked famalier thou-" "Can we go now?" An irritated voice gets you out of your thoughts. "Sunday, stop acting like a grandpa." Robin says while sighing. "Oops, sorry! Let's continue our trip!" You say as you make a mental note to buy something for your friends later. Soon, you all walk towards the shops.

Bonus: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! GET THAT STELLE AND CAELUS! I MET Y/N FASTER THAN YOU GUYS!" "NOOOOOOOO" "YOU WERE CHEATING!!!!" "Keep your voices down. please. Why are you guys so energized anyways?" "March saw THE y/n. Can you believe i-" "Wait. Who?" "You don't know THE Y/N, DAN HENG???" "March." He takes hold of March. "I have some unsolved bussiness with you." "LET ME GOO" March shouts as she's dragged into her room.

a/n: i loved writing this

taglist: @huanator @scarletttcroww

@2024 iara, do not translate my works nor repost them as yours.

[mire1li]

Surprise Stars!

Robin had been preparing for her concert when, just 10 minutes beforehand, for some unknown reason, she fell unconscious. Luckily though, her manager had caught her and placed her on the couch in her dressing room.

When you, March and Dan Heng heard of the news from Aventurine, who got the information from god knows where, you and March essentially dragged Dan Heng to Robin’s dressing room, her manager pacing around when you three entered.

The manager watched you, confused and worried as she stopped moving, studying the three of you.

“Who…? Oh! You’re Robin’s friends…”

“Ah, yeah, we heard Robin fainted, is she alright?!?!” March immediately stepped forward, frantically, though took a moment to look around in adoration of the large room, seemingly forgetting of the current predicament, before snapping out of her thoughts and jogging over to the couch where Robin lay unconscious.

Robin’s manager shooed March away from Robin, claiming that ‘she shouldn’t be seen at such a vulnerable time’, albeit understandable, it also seemed rather unreasonable, though none of you questioned it.

“So… why are we here again?” Dan Heng chimed in, looking between both you and March for a reply.

“Uhh… well obviously we’re here to help!”

“We are?” You asked “How?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? I THOUGHT YOU ALSO HAD THIS IN MIND?”

“No???”

“Ah! You’re insufferable!” March sighed dramatically, turning away from the two of you.

“Okay… um… well, I don’t really see how you three could possibly be of help in this situation…”

The manager glanced towards the clock nervously, placing her hands over her face for a moment before looking back towards Robin, who looked as though she was taking a casual nap.

“Oh… yeah, uh… I didn’t really think this through… haha…” March chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck.

Soon enough, too much time had passed and the crowds were getting restless, causing the manager to panic and return to pacing the room, constantly looking back and forth between Robin and the ground.

"Ok… It's fine!" She exclaimed.

"I could… I could reschedule the show for tomorrow… uh… oh for- ok… I can't do that…" she rambled on and on, when you decided to propose a rather ludicrous idea.

"Ah… excuse me, what if we just… went on stage for Robin and called it an opening act?"

"What?"

"What?!"

"What."

The manager had stopped her pacing, glaring at you, as though you'd just suggested blowing up the entire place (though that wouldn't be too out of character for you). She sighed pinching her nose bridge.

"How ridiculous would that be? Absolutely no one would like that at all!"

"Hey! I'm only trying to help. Besides, you don't know that!" You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring right back at the unnecessarily hostile woman, though you assumed her stress was bringing about her attitude.

"Uh… I… didn't sign up for this..-"

"The trailblazer is always filled with such silly ideas haha! But I think it would be fun… and it could buy you time to wake up Robin!"

March added on, cutting off Dan Heng, clearly trying to rope him into this… impulsive idea, soon-to-be reality.

The manager groaned in irritation, falling back on the arm chair in the room.

"Fine. Fine. Do what you want, however, I'm not involved in this."

And so, there were the three of you, on the stage, dressed in fancy-ish dresses borrowed from Robin's wardrobe, wearing wigs, earrings, and other accessories to really sell the performance.

You tapped the microphone, testing it, causing the audience to go silent, before March stole the microphone from you.

She cleared her throat and confidently spoke into it.

"Hello! Uh… unfortunately, due to uh… technical difficulties Miss Robin's performance is scheduled for a bit later, but don't panic please! We'll be performing first until that time!"

Though, the crowd booed, unhappy with the sudden change, most of them went silent when she began speaking again.

"I'm… ah…" March glanced at you, before being hit by an epiphany.

"Oh! I'm April 1st!" she continued, striking a confident pose, leaving you and Dan Heng feeling… well, not pleased, but you guessed it was better than nothing.

March passed off the microphone to Dang Heng, who also cleared his throat before speaking, though when he did, you and March nearly died laughing on stage as he attempted to mimic a female voice, somehow sounding convincing enough to fool the crowd.

"I'm Cold Dragon Young.." He, or rather, 'she', introduced 'herself' as, trying to sound as gleeful as possible before immediately passing the microphone to you with a glare.

'Nobody forced you' you mouthed to him before introducing yourself as (your chosen name).

Then came the music, specifically "If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking". The three of you were aware it'd be best with just one singer but… three is always better than one, so if you mess up, at least you have the comfort of knowing you aren't alone!

You began singing the first verse of the song, doing the dance Robin would do at the beginning, though adding some of your own spark to it.

The chorus was sung by the three of you, though it was clear Dang Heng was beginning to struggle a bit, so you decided to give verse 2 to March.

Upon the arrival of the second chorus, you and March decided simultaneously to stay quiet and let Dan Heng take the spotlight, causing him to falter slightly and look at you two in an irritated manner, though continuing to sing.

Whilst you were all performing, Robin slowly began to gain consciousness, causing her manager to gasp and rush over to her.

"Robin! You're awake! Very good, alright, we have to get you ready, you go on in like a minute!"

The manager rushed Robin, though first letting the poor girl gain her footing whilst explaining everything that's happened thus far, though only about half of it registering in Robin's brain.

"Wait, hold on… what time is it…?" Robin asked, still disoriented and slightly shaky.

"Uh… well, the show started 3 minutes ago" Her manager repeated, handing her a glass of cold water, which Robin drank almost immediately, causing her to feel a bit better than before.

"What do you mean 3 minutes ago?! I should be out there!" She panicked, standing up and jogging out of her dressing room and going to stand by the backstage curtain, from where she could see three figures singing and dancing.

Though they were a bit… sub-par compared to her, it was still entertaining to watch. Robin sighed in relief.

"Yes, Robin, I was telling you that your friends decided to help out and… well" The manager motioned to the stage, 'April 1st' slightly stumbling, though now the crowd cheering, enjoying the slightly chaotic performance.

Once the song ended, Robin went on stage, waving to her fans, and standing by the three of you.

"Hello! I apologise for the delay!" She began, looking back at her manager.

"As compensation… I would like to perform a song with my friends here!"

Thee three of you were already rather tired from performing the previous song and were now being dragged into performing another… you could only wonder what tragedy this would end in (though, ultimately, you three accepted anyway).

Most people's attention was turned to Robin now that she was up on stage, therefore less people noticed any minor mistakes and instead enjoyed the collaboration, hopefully to it's fullest.

Eventually, when the song ended, you left Robin alone on stage, allowing her to finish the rest of the concert as it should've been since the start.

Upon returning backstage, you were greeted with the sight of Robin's manager holding a conversation with Sunday, who then turned to look at you and waved you over.

By this point, March and Dan Heng had left, probably to change out of their costumes. You took off your own wig, placing it to the side and walked over to the manager and Sunday.

"I will presume you're both already acquainted. Now to the topic at hand… we were discussing your idiocy, most crowds at a concert don't appreciate such surprises."

Sunday chuckled "Whilst that may be rather harsh, I do agree. You got quite lucky with this crowd, Trailblazer."

"Yes, so you see, I just have too much rizz!" You exclaimed proudly, placing your hands on your hips.

The manager sighed, crossing her arms, momentarily looking behind you, at the stage where Robin was currently performing.

"Sure… well, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you did that since it allowed Robin to regain her consciousness. I just hope we won't have a repeat of today."

"Hm… well, even if this happens again, I'm sure March and Dan Heng wouldn't mind doing this again~"

"Absolutely not."

"But you must admit, they certainly put on something of a show… enough to entertain the crowds, at least. I'm sure my sister is grateful though."

The three of you continued to talk for a while before you received a text message from Himeko saying that everyone should return to the Express.

You quickly finished up the conversation before bidding the two Halovians adieu and leaving. At least you'd have an interesting story to share with everyone now!

[spectralscathath]

Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Chapter 5- Mystery Twins Birthday Bash

Stan and Ford didn’t expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not their Grunkle fleeing the cops, not a surprise party, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford’s smarts and Stan’s punching, there’s no mystery they can’t solve.

Ao3 Link

The sound of a cellphone was what heralded Dipper's latest problem. He nicked himself mid-shave by accident as his pants buzzed, fumbling the razor and knocking over half his shaving kit. It clattered as he took a breath and grabbed the phone, hitting 'answer' and tucking it into his shoulder, trying to pick everything up. "Mr Mystery of the Gravity Falls Mystery Shack, what do you want?"

"Hi, Grunkle Dipper!" A man's voice on the other end had him short-circuiting on who it was being so friendly before he realised it was A) a familiar voice, and B) calling him something only three people in the world had the right to.

"Shermie!" Dipper smiled. "How are you?"

"Great, things are great. I just wanted to call and say that I've sent something up for the twin's birthday, and I hope it arrives for tomorrow but if it doesn't just let them know it's on the way. Thirteen's a big age."

"Birthday?" Dipper repeated, smile plastered on.

"Yeah! I'll try call tomorrow too, I know mom will as well. And maybe Grandpa, just text us what would be a good time, we don't wanna intrude on anything."

"No, yeah, I'll text." Birthday. Crap. "Take care, Jupiter."

"Great! Okay, I gotta go, light's gone green. Chat later!" Shermie hung up. 

Dipper waited for a moment to see if there'd be anything else. 

Silence. 

He panic-dialled Wendy. 

"Corduroys."

"Hi Wendy it's Dipper don't hang up I need advice-" he got it all out in a rush.

"Alright. Shoot." Wendy sounded the same as always, calm and amused. 

"I have twins in my house and their birthday's tomorrow, what do I do? I've never thrown a kids birthday before- I mean, I crashed a few- but for work, not because- listen, there was this body-hopping ghost clown I was tracking-"

"Dipper, relax," Wendy laughed. "Birthdays are easy. Cake, balloons, presents, it's easy. I've done it for sixteen years with Dan, you can manage one."

"But I don't even know their favourite cake flavours! Or the best choice for balloon colours! Or what kind of presents they want! What if they want party games, scratch that- a party?"

"If they want a party, us Corduroys can show up." Wendy offered. "Dipper. Just talk to them. Ask what they want."

"But that would admit that I forgot they're thirteen tomorrow."

"They won't care, probably won't be surprised. You're kind of a disaster."

"Thank you, Wendy, really helpful."

"Anytime."

"I- Wendy-" Dipper felt the urge to apologise. Again. He didn't think he'd ever stop apologising. But that didn't fix things. "Dan's doing great, by the way."

"Yeah he is! He's a flippin' Corduroy," Wendy laughed. "Let him know the plans for tomorrow. Bye, Dipper."

"Bye." Dipper hung up and pulled out the day's to-do list, scratching out half the stuff on it and writing down 'cake, presents, balloons, party? Ask preferences'. He'd need to go into town, but he couldn't buy their presents in front of him- and there were still so many variables. He'd also need Carla to cover the tours while he wasn't here, she was a bit bubbly but the enthusiasm really got people excited to take pictures. Dan could use some register practice anyway- oh man, what was he doing?

He panic-dialled a second number. 

"This better not be a waste of time, I'm doing my makeup." 

"Heyyyyy Paz, it's Dipper."

"I know, I'm rich, I have caller ID." Pacifica huffed haughtily. "What is it this time? Mothman texted, wants to get back together?"

"Ugh, I hope not, I blocked his number. It's a children's birthday party."

"I thought you got rid of that clown ghost-"

"No, not that guy! It's for the twins, its their birthday tomorrow-"

"And you forgot," Pacifica summed up. "I had heard you had kids this summer. I was wondering how long it'd take you to crack and ask for help. You lasted two weeks, congratulations."

"Thanks, they haven't died yet." He was actually quite proud of that fact. 

"So, you mentioned a birthday party." Pacifica hummed on the other side, sounding far away for a second. Was he on speakerphone? Her and her beauty routine, he never dealt with makeup unless he had to show up somewhere as Mabel. 

"They're thirteen, it's a big one."

"Arbitrarily, but kids love to make big deals out of small things. I assume you've started a list."

"You know me," he wrote down 'make a big deal'. "I already got some information, balloons, cake, presents. Anything else?"

"Definitely don't try to handle it yourself. You'll overcomplicate it and wind yourself up into a nervous wreck until it blows up in your face." 

"I'm getting so much feedback on my personality today, it's really great." 

"Awwww, poor you." She matched his sarcasm. "Just get your old mechanic to help, he's much more of a party person than you."

"Paz, you're a genius." Of course! Maybe he could even drop the boys with Soos while he went into town to get all the supplies. 

"Obviously. That's why we tolerate each other."

"... Do you wanna bring Preston to the potential party if it ends up being a thing?" Maybe it would be good for the kid?

"We're busy." Her tone dropped below freezing point and Dipper suddenly remembered why.

"Oh- yeah. How, uh, how's the divorce going?"

"You're going to be buying me something obnoxiously foul at that disgusting biker bar you like once it's all over. I have complaints."

"Oh boy. Good luck, Paz." 

"You too, Dipper." She hung up. 

"Okay!" He looked in the mirror, the small cut on his chin dribbling a little bit of blood. "You have a plan, it's going to work great. Don't overcomplicate."

#

"So if you could both fill out those six-page questionnaires before we reach my friend's house, that would be super helpful to my shopping today."

"Grunkle Dipper, this is double-sided." Stan flicked through the sheets of paper as Dipper ushered him into the back seat of the truck.

"Aw, there's no maths questions." Ford sounded so disappointed as he leafed through his own, following his brother.

"Seatbelts on," Dipper took a big swig from his travel mug as he hopped in the front, a bandage on his chin. Fourth coffee of the day, he'd need way more to survive town. "You'll like Soos and Dolores, they're good people. Soos was my handyman before he retired and Dolores had a summer job at the shack for a few years." Cashiering like Carla.

That reminded him- "Carla! Since it's a Sunday, remember to charge double for-"

"Photos of the reverse harpy, I remember!" Carla saluted, dressed in her version of the Mr Mystery adventure outfit. 

"And remind Dan to triple-check anyone who pays in just coins! They could be scammers!"

"We've got this, go!" She shooed him off with a laugh, affixing her flower to her explorer's hat.

"Why don't we get to watch the till?" Stan asked, Ford already on his second page as his pencil flew across paper. 

"Because I need you on questionnaire duty, get answering." He really should show them how to use a till, get them some life skills with money. 

"Can I copy Ford's answers?"

"No- wait, do you do that?" He glanced at the rearview mirror as he pulled onto the road.

"Uh." Stan looked at his own questionnaire, his wrist no longer braced. "No."

"Only on some things! I don't mind," Ford defended. "He's actually really good at Spanish."

"I'm not, I got, like, a C-  on my last report card."

"Hey, I scraped a D, Ms Lopez was disappointed." Ford clearly tried to cheer his twin up, but his own tone didn't sound cheerful. It sounded brittle. Dipper remembered hating getting anything less than a B+ on his own school reports, he understood. "Guess I don't have a knack for languages."

"Languages are hard." Stan sighed. "I barely speak English good."

"'Well', Stanley," Ford corrected offhandedly. "Grammar is important."

Stan groaned and kicked the back of the passenger seat as Dipper turned on the radio, deliberately sparing them BABBA so they could focus. If the questionnaires didn't work, his Plan B was to get Dolores to do some snooping for him. 

He could absolutely make this party go well. See if he could make up for the puppet incident. The looks on their faces, because he lost control of himself, of his fear… he wasn't made of stone. He had to fix that. 

It was gonna go great. They were gonna have the best birthday ever, he could make it happen. Party Guy Dipper Pines. He had a plan, the steps were in numerical order, it had headings and sub-headings, it was gonna work perfectly. Bonus: he wouldn't even need to clone himself again. That went really bad last time, good thing he destroyed that printer and got rid of all of them.

#

Stan led Ford into the small house on the outskirts of Gravity Falls's suburbs, shocked to see their self-admitted people-hating Grunkle willing accept a hug from both the old guy in a Hawaiian top and the lady in a snazzy pink dress with poofy brown curls. 

"Dolores, Soos, these are my grandnephews," Dipper introduced, still looking as wild-eyed as when he chased them out of the Shack and into his truck. "Stanley and Stanford Pines."

"Ay, qué lindo!" Dolores looked at them adoringly, as Dipper ushered them forward. "Señor Pines, they're so cute!"

"I'm not cute!" Stan puffed up. "I'm tough!" Like a tiger. The fact that Dolores only cooed more did not make him feel better.

Dipper patted his hair and Ford's at the same time. "Yep! Adorable! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching them for a few hours while I do some stuff in town?"

"Si, no prob, dude, we're gonna have a great time." Soos waved a hand. "It's gonna be the bomb."

"I should have never taught you young people slang, abuelito," Dolores sighed, but she didn't look angry. 

"But it makes me so hip and trendy!" 

"Hey, Dolores, can I talk to you super quick?" Grunkle Dipper cut in, giving Ford and Stan a little shove into the house as Dolores stepped by to join him outside.

"Si, what do you want?" Dolores glanced back. "Abuelito, the cookies should be cooled, if you want to make tea?"

"You got it, Lola." Soos smiled at her and lumbered towards the kitchen, his hair white and thin. 

Stan started to double back to try and eavesdrop before Ford caught him and pulled him along. Right. Another adult was there. Getting in trouble immediately was a bad idea. Good thing he had Ford around to keep him on track.

Besides. Cookies.

The kitchen smelt amazing, Stan didn't regret following Ford as they entered, both taking a deep breath of baked goodness. It smelt like the Belgian waffle place next door to dad's pawn shop but even better. 

"You dudes like video games?" Soos asked brightly, using tongs to place cookies on plates. They looked like little round spheres. Stan took one and bit down, not expecting the jam inside. Yum!

"An old person who likes video games?" Stan mumbled through a mouthful of jam cookie and looked at Ford.

"That seems like a statistical anomaly," Ford agreed, taking a cookie himself. "Thank you, Mr Ramirez."

"Call me Soos, little dudes. Everyone does." He moved around the kitchen. "You dudes want tea?"

"Why do you say 'dudes'?" Stan asked bluntly. "It's not what old people say."

"I picked it up from my grandkids, I talk all rad like them now." Soos chuckled. His voice had a soft accent around some words, just like Ms Lopez. "I play video games with them too. Lotta good skills in those, good for the brain."

"We don't get to play them much. Consoles are expensive." Ford stated after swallowing his cookie. He didn't talk with his mouth full like Stan.

"You wanna use mine? I love playing video games with people, dawg."

Stan and Ford glanced at each other, and while Ford had done all the tests and conclusively proved they could not, in fact, read each other's mind, somehow they knew. 

They really wanted to try it out. 

#

"Okay, okay, you crazy man," Dolores laughed at Dipper. Cool. Today was going great for his ego, he wasn't bitter. "I'll find out details, now you go, do your shopping.."

"I owe you both for this. Thanks, Dolores."

"And don't worry about a cake, I'll make something better."

"You really don't have to-" the glare in her eyes cut him off. Oh boy, time to backtrack. "I surrender to your wisdom."

"Good!" She clapped her hands together with a smile. "We will also be at the party tomorrow."

"Got it." He really wasn't escaping a party, huh. "By the way- have you heard anything interesting recently?"

Dolores' eyes sparkled with the promise of gossip. "Do your shopping first and be back in time for lunch, maybe I'll tell you something."

Dipper chuckled and tipped his hat as a 'yes'. "Let me let the boys know."

He stepped inside, unable to stop a smile at the sight of Soos in his armchair, talking the kids through the basics of a racing game. He should take them to the local arcade some time, they'd probably have fun. He could also make sure he still had the top score on Space Invasioners while he was at it, he was gonna be dead in the ground before someone else took that title from him. 

"Okay, I'll be back in a few hours. You two behave, alright?" He leaned over the back of the couch.

"We will," Ford smiled.

"How much are you gonna pay us to behave?" Stan held out a hand expectantly. 

"Ha! Nice try. Seriously, behave." Dipper pointed at him. 

"Dipper, dude, are you going to the mall? If you do, can you-"

"I will bring back something from Hoo-Ha Owl's Jamboree," Dipper agreed. Least he could do for springing babysitting duty on Soos and Dolores at such short notice. "Even if that place is creepy."

"Yes!"

"Okay, enjoy your games, don't get in trouble, and Dolores-" he pulled out his wallet and handed her some cash. "If I get arrested, pay my bail with this."

"I will," she nodded solemnly. 

"Bye, kids! Don't die or something." Seriously, those twins attracted trouble like nothing else, just one calm day, please.

#

"Video games are so cool!" Ford smiled, much preferring the one where he and Stanley could work together to beat up enemies and find stars to the racing ones.

"Yeah! Man, dad's missing out, I'd never be getting into fights if I had something this fun to do instead!" 

"Heh, yeah, you should get Dipper to take you to the arcade." Soos had his hands folded over his stomach, sticking around to remind them of button functions and point out stuff they missed. "I love that place, I worked there for a while before I was hired for the Mystery Shack."

"Why was that?"

"Oh, Dipper's great, little dudes, but he can't swing a hammer."

"No, he is useless," Dolores agreed. "He'd live in a pigsty if we didn't keep him alive. With the pig."

"He does love that pig." Ford agreed. "He talks to Waddles Jr. a lot."

"Yeah, it's kinda cool." Stan liked how big the pig was. He thought they were all tiny piglets, but Waddles Jr. was a beast. It was awesome. 

"Yeah, he was a total wreck when Waddles Sr. was gone, nothing cheered him up 'til he got a new pig." 

"It was very sad," Dolores agreed before moving on. "Now- my friend also wants a cake for her son's birthday but wants to surprise him. What do you think, chocolate? Vanilla?"

"You should make them something minty, it's the best flavour," Ford jumped in immediately and Stan switched to damage control. 

"No, no- not mint, it's an evil flavour." Stan ignored Ford's offended gasp and flailing hands in his face. "Dolores, go for the vanilla. Classics are classics for a reason. Choc chips if you really need to spice it up."

"I see. Very smart, both of you."

The front door opened and closed with a bang, all of them turning to see Dipper with his back pressed flat to the wood, chest heaving, partially on fire. He had a bag in one hand.

"Sheesh, what happened to you?" Stan had to ask and Dipper shushed him, head cocking.

Stan did the same, and heard sirens blare in their direction, louderLouderLOUDER then fading as they went by. Dipper waited until they vanished before he took a deep breath. 

"Grunkle Dipper…?" Ford asked warily.

"No structural damage!" He raised his hands, half his face covered in soot, the fire on his sleeve starting to spread from his shoulder to his jacket collar.

"Grunkle Dip, you're on fire." Stan had to point it out. Did he not notice?

"I am?" Dipper looked properly at himself and panicked, hurriedly ripping his hat off and batting at the flames. "I am! This is bad!"

Dolores pulled out a fire extinguisher from under her chair and took aim. "Hold still."

"No I'm holding food!" He raised his hand, hat out like a shield. "Fire's out!"

Dolores lowered the extinguisher. "Hm. Crazy man. I'll get the first aid kit."

"It's not that baaaa-and she's gone."

"Dipper. Dude, did you get lunch?"

"Yeah, I got your creepy animatronic pizza," Dipper gestured at the bag, carrying it over and using it as the shield instead. Soos accepted and began doling out pizza as Dipper gestured at the twins. "Budge up, boys."

Ford dutifully moved over, forcing Stan to do the same unless he wanted bony twin elbows shoved into his ribs. "Seriously, what happened?"

"One of my friends should get a job writing horoscopes," Dipper collapsed with a groan. "'Blow up in your face', c'mon. That's not fair. How's your day going?"

"We're playing video games!"

"It's so much fun!"

"They're really good, dude," Soos told him seriously, offering out pizza boxes. Stan grabbed one for both of them to share before they were presented with a second pizza. Wow, one each? Soos continued, settling back in his armchair. "You should put 'em in, like, tournaments."

"Will do." Dipper gave a thumbs up, placing his hat over his face as he leaned back into the couch. "Nap first."

"You're sleeping through pizza?" Old people were so weird. He glanced at Ford, who gave him the same confused face back. "Grunkle Dipper, you're a lost cause."

Dipper grumbled something that sounded like 'four for four'. And Ford thought he was an anomaly, Stan should let him know he had nothing on their Grunkle.

#

Grunkle Dipper was a hard taskmaster when he wanted to be, Ford was deciding, on his third round of scrubbing clean all the various plaques for the permanent attractions. 

"Grunkle Dipper, can we go outside already?" Stan sounded on the verge of either saying the P word, a statistical impossibility, or hitting their grunkle with a broom. Ford was well-past any state of trying to convince him otherwise, maybe the broom would set them free. 

"Not yet," Dipper leaned in the single entrance to the attraction hall, the gift shop on the other side. Freedom was so far away.

How much cleaner could the attraction hall get? Dipper kept running his finger across surfaces, checking for dust and somehow finding some even though Ford knew there wasn't any. Why were they even cleaning? Weren't there supposed to be tours? It wasn't one of the days the Shack was closed. 

This was the worst birthday ever, and that included the year dad made them scrape barnacles off the pier for a friend of his. It included the year Stanley got them both grounded too, actually. It was a low bar, yet somehow Grunkle Dipper managed to crawl under anyway. 

"I still see dust on the Roman sarcophagus. And there's marks on the bog body glass." Dipper checked his flip phone for the fourth time in ten minutes before he busied himself with adjusting the new Cursed Board Game exhibit. 

"That's because the cloth for cleaning the glass is gross," Stan huffed as he swept. "Can I have my smoke bombs back?"

"Will you stop trying to escape?"

"No."

"Then no."

Stan swiped at him with the broom, Dipper managing to dodge. He wobbled, but stayed up. Dad definitely wasn't that light on his feet and he was younger then Dipper. 

"How do you do that when you're so old?" Ford had to ask.

"Well I've been chasing after a pair of troublemakers for the past two and a half weeks-"

"Dipper," Ford pouted. 

"Daily stretches do a lot for a guy, what can I say?" Dipper tipped his hat before wincing. "Still hurts though. And don't smoke, seriously. If you learn nothing else this summer, learn that."

"I don't like the smell anyway." Ford hated the way it made the house smell in Jersey, but he couldn't just tell mom and dad to stop. "And it has lots of health risks."

"And expensive, dad's been complaining about the price." Stan chimed in.

"See? Stinky, dangerous, and expensive. Don't ever do anything that hits all three, those are bad life choices." Dipper preened like he said something clever. Ford wondered if other people thought he looked as smug as his Grunkle did when Ford said smart things. Except he was actually a genius, a real one. 

"Don't tell me what to do," Stan muttered rebelliously. 

Dipper's phone buzzed and he checked it. "Great, okay boys, we can stop cleaning now!"

"Finally!" Ford dropped the cloth like it was about to bite him. 

"What's this 'we' business?" Stan demanded, pointing the broom menacingly at their Grunkle. "You just stood there telling us to do things!"

"It's called 'delegation', it's great," Dipper stepped away from the entrance he'd been sort of blocking. "Alright, let's all go outside!"

"Race you!" Ford ran by his brother and tagged him on the back, Stanley whooping and taking off after him as they ran through the surprisingly empty gift shop and outside past a bunch of cars. They had been cooped up inside too long and had energy to burn. 

"Go round the back!" Dipper called. 

"Eh, why not?" Stan shrugged and tagged him back before sprinting. "Keep up, slowpoke!"

"Don't call me a slowpoke!" Ford chased him with a grin, managing to tackle him right when they rounded the Shack. They landed in a pile of knobbly joints and laughter, right when there was a massive yell of "SURPRISE!"

They froze, taking in the scene. 

Carla and Dan had massive grins as they stood under a banner held up by Dan's trio of uncles, Tad and Fiddleford beside them holding balloons in Tad's case and fireworks in Fiddleford's, also grinning. A tall red-haired woman in an eyepatch and flannel sat beside a pair of adults dressed neatly with pleasant smiles. Waddles Jr. sat among a collection of party games that had been set up. Soos and Dolores stood by a table piled high with food and- oh, wow, two cakes!

"Happy birthday, boys," Dipper said from behind them, sitting on the porch couch and making a 'go ahead' gesture.

Carla barely managed to beat Manly Dan as they raced over, her arms wrapping around them both. Ford heard Stan make a squeaking noise as she hugged them tight, pulling back with a bright smile. "Welcome to being teenagers! It's super cool!"

"Thanks," Stan's voice cracked, and when Ford looked at him his face was bright red. Was he sick?

"My turn!" Dan scooped them both off the ground, squeezing tight enough Ford was sure his spine's alignment was altered. 

"Go easy, Danny!" The woman with the eyepatch called out in amusement, while Dan's three uncles started chanting 'Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!'

"Happy birthday!" Dan yelled as he put them down. "You have presents!"

"We have presents?!" Ford's eyes bulged in shock. No way, those were so rare!

"You're pulling my leg, big guy," Stan visibly tried to get back his cool. 

"Never! It's not a birthday without presents," Carla grinned. "But you gotta do games and cake first!"

"Those are the rules of partying." Tad tied a red balloon to Ford's wrist and repeated the process for Stan once Stan finished giving him a suspicious squint and stuck out his hand. 

"You're all forgetting a step!" Fiddleford chimed in, hefting the pile of hazardous materials in his arms with a wild grin and a mad laugh. "Fireworks go last! Whoohahaha!"

#

Dipper put his hat over his face to try to sneak in another nap when hands grabbed his arm, hefting him to his feet. He yipped and waved his free arm for balance, Wendy towering over him as she let him go. He wasn't that short, she was just NBA-tall. 

"You think you have a pass to conk out like an old man just because the party started?" Her wild red hair was jammed under a dark beanie and her green eye was bright with guarded amusement. "Wrong idea, buster."

"Wendy, I am an old man." He put his hat back on. "Okay, what am I missing?"

"We all have to watch the kids play party games and clap when they win, then you take pictures of the cake. Didn't you ever have a birthday as a kid?"

"I sometimes skipped my parties to read." Sometimes it felt easier that way, at least until Mabel found him and pulled him out of his head and into a game with all her friends. "I'm just glad people showed up today."

"For those twins? Of course!" Wendy punched his arm with a grin. Ow. He rubbed the spot with a wince as she laughed harder. "Don't be a baby. They're good kids, got plenty of people who'll show up. Why'd you think otherwise?"

She knew why. "I'm surprised you're even here, Wendy." 

"You act like I'm supposed to be some twitchy paranoid wreck, I think you've got that covered." Wendy rolled her eye and patted his back. "Don't get so weird, Dip, get out there and mingle."

She shoved him off the porch and he almost ate dirt, flailing for stability as he stumbled into the small gathering of grown-ups. He recognised Wendy's brothers who all were cheering for the kids, no point talking to them, and he wasn't gonna get away with not talking to anyone. Soos would be easy, but maybe he should at least learn the names of the unknowns on his property?

"Hi. Dipper Pines." He waved awkwardly at the Stranges. He vaguely remembered meeting one of them when he paid the mortgage off, but couldn't remember a name. He also couldn't remember if he'd ever seen them blink. Time to observe. "Nice to meet you properly."

"Hi." The man who looked and sounded way too much like his son, except for his brown hair, held out a hand with wide eyes. "I'm Carl Strange. This is my wife-"

"Celia Strange," she also held out a hand, staring with a smile that matched her husband's. "It's lovely to meet you, Mr Mystery. We love your Shack."

"Thanks." He bit the side of his tongue as he forced himself to shake their hands one at a time- eeny, meeny, miney, you- and kept on the showman's smile. Mr Mystery was a lot braver than Dipper Pines. "Regular visitors, then?"

"Oh yes, we like to drop by. Reminds us of our old town," Celia laughed, her glossy black hair cut in a neat bob. 

"We love your snowglobes, ever since we stopped travelling it's been great for our collection." Carl put his hand on his hip, smiling placidly. Still no blinks.  "New designs each year, how do you do it?"

"I take my inspiration from the world around me." He looked over at the kids as they tried to pin a tail on a cartoon pig drawing. Aw, cute. Waddles Jr. deserved the homage. 

"How artistic! You know, we're so glad our little tadpole's made some friends here."

"I've never seen him so excited."

Dipper squinted as he studied the kid squad. Nope, the Strange kid still had that singular smile on that seemed to be his one 'setting', so to speak. Same one as what his folks had. Eerie. 

"Yeah. No, he seems like a good kid." He looked back at the happy couple. Was that abnormal pupil dilation or…? "It's good for the twins, I think they need some normal in their lives."

"Well, we're as normal as can be," Celia chuckled. 

"Yes, indeed," her husband agreed. "Though it must be exciting, running one of the local town attractions."

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine." Someone save him from small talk. Wait, was that a motorbike? "Actually I think I hear the delivery guy, I'll be back in a sec, great to meet you both, you're welcome to come back for a tour anytime."

"We will!" They chorused. It sent a chill down his spine. Okay, he was going to never talk to the Strange parents again, great idea. 

He walked around the Shack to see Jimmy pull up out front, sighing in relief. Someone he could deal with. "I've never been happier to see you in my life, Snakes."

"Whatever, old man." Jimmy pulled off his helmet, snake tattoo in a different position today. He hefted two giant boxes off the back of his bike. "Here's the dumb packages."

"I didn't send you out for anything?"

"Nah, they're from that rich lady with the brat kid. She actually paid me," Jimmy sneered. "You should try that some time."

"I don't have money." Dipper stated, standing in front of his functioning livelihood. "Are you saying Pacifica sent you?" 

"Uh-huh."

But why would she- wait. The realisation clicked and he ran over, actually reading the labels on the giant boxes. Insane. Pacifica Northwest was apparently insane. Who did this? "She got them bikes for their birthday?! How?"

"Wait, am I on a birthday present run?" Jimmy sounded so offended.

"Get your butt in gear and do your scale thing, kid, you're carrying these."

"I hate you."

#

It was a whirlwind of fun and cake and so many presents. Stan still couldn't believe that they had an actual birthday party. One where people wanted to be there. Dan and Carla and Tad and Fiddleford and Jimmy- who showed up late and stayed for cake before leaving- had all actually wanted to be there. Stan had no idea how to even handle all that, and clearly Ford didn't either.

"How's the cataloguing going?" He asked as Ford wrote down everything in their present haul. Whatever made him feel better.

"A bike each from someone named 'Paz', flannel jackets from the Corduroys, toy dinosaurs from Soos and Dolores, free passes to the local carnival from Carla, Shermie mailed us toy boats, Fiddleford got me a book and you a comic, and Tad gave us both a whole thirty bucks each." 

"And…" Stan hefted up what had been on their beds after the party ended. 

"Right. A beginner artist's set, one for you and one for me." All Dipper had said when they turned on him for answers was a shifty 'family could use more artists' statement. 

"This is the most insane present haul we've ever gotten." Stan summed up.

"It's too much. Way too much." Ford agreed. "We- do we just keep it all? Are we allowed?"

"I mean- how are we meant to give it back without looking like goobers?"

"I don't know, I've been running calculations and everything beyond keeping it all seems rude, but that also seems rude?"

"Maybe we figure it out tomorrow?" Stan could put the moral complexity stuff off forever, honestly. "After all, we gotta call mom." It wouldn't feel right without hearing her say 'happy birthday'.

"We gotta call mom." Ford's eyes went wide, remembering the most important part of the day. "Okay, we know what to say, and what not to say so dad doesn't drag us back home yet. We've practiced. To the phone!"

"Yeah!" They ran downstairs and Ford dialled, easily remembering the number on the landline. The fact that Grunkle Dipper still had a landline was comforting. Mom did too, one that dad kept in top shape so she could work. 

It rang once, twice, thrice, before it was picked up and on the other end- "that'll be 99 cents an hour."

"Ma!" They chorused.

"Stanley, Stanford! My baby boys!" She sounded way more interested now, her voice husky from cigarette smoke and warm with love. "Happy birthday! How's it feel to be thirteen?"

"We're not babies anymore, ma!" Stan snatched the phone. He hoped so much Pa wasn't around on the other side, as weird as Gravity Falls was, it was nice to feel like he could breathe without being weighed down by dad's disappointment. "We're teenagers now!"

Ford snatched the phone back. "Grunkle threw us a surprise party and all our friends came!"  

"That sap," she laughed. "Guess Shermie was right, sounds like you're having fun up there."

"We are!" Stan chimed in. "And my brace is off so I can punch things again!" It still kinda hurt a bit, but that was just healing, probably.

"That's my little spitfire! Tell me about your party, I miss you both." Stan hoped that was true. He wanted it to be.

"We miss you too, ma." Ford smiled sadly. Stan hesitated before he reached out and took his hand. Ford smiled gratefully at him before he took a deep breath. 

"So first we were cleaning the Mystery Shack…"