#Laura reads three wishes

[fazcinatingblog]

Maybe that's why all her relationships only last 6 months, maybe she's scarred from the Marcus relationship, that he only started his angry outbursts at 6 months and now, whenever she nears the same milestone with another boy... Bam, time to break up

[shxpeshifterr]

All the books I’ve read in June

[blackmistral]

Bound by Love - Alcina Dimitrescu x Reader/OC

Omg first of all - HI! so no one knows me here (😞) but if any of you ever wrote a fanfic about Alcina, i most probably read it bc i'm literally in love with her! I began writing this a long time ago for myself and decided to finish it to publish it here! My first language isn't english and I originally wrote it in french so I hope the translation isn't too bad! Please feedback for any mistakes! (it's so goddamn short ngl)

The path to the village was by no means hard to access. The only real dangers were the traps and the lycans - who nevertheless kept a relatively safe distance from the young woman. But on this day, there was no such danger.

   Laura made her own way to the village to go to the night market, claiming she didn't mind the task. Alcina Dimitrescu's three daughters, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela, had all offered to accompany her, but she had told them she'd be quicker on her own. So, she dressed warmly, given Romania's capricious October weather, and went out with nothing more than a sorrel basket and a small purse. She hadn't gone to notify Alcina of her departure, since she was still working in her office and wish not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency.

   So, she headed down towards the village, keeping an eye on her surroundings. The trees around her looked threatening, as if they were warning her off. As she went deeper into the forest and looked back for a moment, she noticed that she could no longer see the castle in the fog. Clenching her fists for courage, she started walking faster. Each step seemed to lead her back towards an uncertain danger; and she widened her eyes when she spotted a large shadow behind her. It must have been there for some time, but the bad weather had prevented the young woman from seeing properly. A hand came to rest on her right shoulder, and she jumped. Thinking at first of a lycan, she was, for a moment, calmed by the realization that the figure behind her was not a monster but a man. But when she looked at his dirt-covered face, she was astonished to discover that there was nothing human about his gaze. He was glaring at her bitterly, as if she wasn't really to his liking. A wry smile appeared after a few seconds, however, and she suddenly remembered that she was alone - and defenseless - against this stranger.

   “Did you get lost, pretty girl?”

   His voice sounded to her like a low growl, meant to be threatening. Laura tried to step aside and answer, but the hand on her shoulder moved abruptly to her throat and grabbed her neck. It was hard to breathe now, and the realization hit her once again. Not only was she alone, but she wasn't expected back at the castle for at least another hour. Alcina, she thought. She imagined her face until the grip around her neck tightened and the man pushed her to the ground. She tried to catch her breath, but her assailant came dangerously close, giving her no respite.

   She wondered how this had happened. Alcina had told her, warned her, that she shouldn't go out alone. Laura had found her reasons somewhat foolish before, until now.

   He threw himself at her, a terrifying smile plastered on his face. She began to cry now, her tears falling into the mud. The man grabbed her jacket and blouse and yanked them off, tossing the clothes aside. She was now in her underwear and bra, her face twisted in fear, trying in vain to scream for help. She felt naked, humiliated. He moved his fingers towards her chest, ignoring her pleas and cries, forcing one of his hands over her mouth to silence her. It was when he touched her breast that a ferocious growl was heard, stopping the man in his doing. He frowned.

   “What the hell?”

   Behind him, a shadow nearly ten foot tall made him break out into a cold sweat. He turned around slowly, and Laura recognized her. She'd recognized her by the rumble in her voice. Alcina. She now approached at full speed, growling again, and sank her outstretched claws into the mortal's throat. Blood splattered onto her white dress, but she paid it no mind, her gaze fixed on the one she was about to kill.

   “My wife. My partner. You dare lay your hands on her? Prostule!” she exclaimed almost breathlessly, the rage consuming her.

   He choked as he tried to answer, but she dug her claws into his chest, and he stopped breathing. Laura watched the scene before her, torn between relief and fear. Alcina dropped the lifeless body to the ground, seeming to regain awareness of what she had done. She rushed over - still with the same elegance that fascinated Laura - and knelt beside her, taking her in her arms.

   “My darling,” she murmured.

   Laura noticed that Alcina was trembling too and put her arms around her neck.

   “Alcina... Alcina,” she sobbed.

   “I'm here, comoara mea.”

   The vampire ran her gloved hand through the young woman's hair and embraced her, rising to her original height. Laura wrapped her legs as best she could around her broad torso and rested her head on her breasts. She was still sobbing, shocked by the events that had taken place in such a short space of time. Alcina stayed silent and walked carefully to the castle.

***  

   Inside, the oil lamps were still burning brightly. Laura's skin was pale, slightly bluish at the tips, and her teeth were chattering. Alcina went straight across the central courtyard and into the building where their apartments and luxurious bathroom were located. A bathtub, with gigantic dimensions to match the vampire's supernatural size, was set in a corner of the room, near a window overlooking the forest below. Alcina placed Laura gently on the cabinet and sat her down, then tried to pull away; unsuccessfully, in view of the small, trembling hand that held her by the sleeve of her dress.

   “I'll just run some hot water, darling. I'll only be a moment.”

   When the young woman nodded softly and let go of the cloth, Alcina moved to the bathtub and turned on the hot water tap. She added one of her wife's favorite foaming soaps, then returned to her. Laura had never looked so fragile. True, she was a “tiny” woman, but this was one of the only times she'd seen her so terrified.

   It was a sight she never wanted to see again.

   She approached again and slowly ran her hands over the marks on Laura's neck.

    “My beloved... Forgive me for not having been here before. As soon as I knew you were in danger...”

   The vampire lowered her face to her wife's throat and planted her canines delicately in the mark she had given her at their wedding. Laura stroked Alcina's hair as she kissed the bruises. The brunette took Alcina's face in her hands and gave her a tired but sincere smile.

   “I'm fine now. You saved me, as you always have.”

   Yet, despite her reassuring words, Laura was still trembling. Alcina stepped aside, undressed and removed Laura's remaining clothes with ease, then led the young woman to the bath. She placed her at the front of the tub and settled herself behind her before pulling her back against her chest. Warm and tender kisses were placed on the nape of her neck and Laura sighed.

   “For a moment, I thought... it was too late,” she whispered.

   The big arms around her instinctively tightened and Alcina nestled her nose in his neck.

   “I'll always be there to protect you. From anyone and anything. I sensed you were in danger the moment you came across that... horrible lucru stupid de om.”

   Alcina growled softly, then tenderly kissed the back of the young woman's neck.

   “When I sensed your fear, your anguish... the first thing I did was look for you all over the castle. The girls came to see me and told me you'd left... Why didn't you warn me? You know the risks of leaving my lands alone, my angel.”

   “I didn't want to bother you,” Laura admitted. “You're so stressed with the investors these days…”

   “Those stupid incompetents - and my wine - are not my priority. You are my priority,” Alcina whispered, turning the brunette's head to rub her cheek against hers. “I apologize if I let you think otherwise.”

   Hearing these words, Laura turned in her wife's embrace to face her.

   “I didn't mean it that way. Even though I often find it hard to believe, I know you love me,” she said, smiling sheepishly, her cheeks flushed. “And I'm enormously grateful. Without you and our daughters... I'd be nothing.”

   Alcina ran a hand through her companion's sleek hair and smiled back.

   “Just like us, darling.”

***

   When the water turned cold and Laura had fallen asleep, Alcina decided it was time for them to go to bed. Their daughters had probably gone hunting, and it was late in the night by now.

   Once settled comfortably in their bed and dressed in a light nightgown belonging to Alcina, Laura looked peaceful, the vampire thought. She lay down beside her and wrapped her arms around her again. Alcina was by no means an insecure woman. She was afraid of nothing and nobody. But in the presence of such a fragile being... She couldn't help wondering if she would ever be too late.    She frowned. “No one's going to take you away from me. I love you too much for that to happen.”

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi, sorry if this has been asked before but, regardless of trope, your favourite historicals of all time???? I was gonna say top10 or something but I read and love literally every one of your recs so top100 would work just as well <3

First off, thank you so much, you're too kind. I don't know if I can give you my Top 100 just yet (though I wish I could lol) but I CAN give you a good cluster ;).

It's been a whiiiile since I've thought of this, and it changes, so I'm happy to answer! I'm going to have some repeats, because I'm true my heart and some authors just write a good few bangers.

My top... 28, I think? In no particular order.

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas—Easy answer, I adore this book, it changed the way I look at romance and it's so, so definitive re: my taste. Beautifully written, angsty (and kinda funny too), made me realize one of my core couple dynamics is "somewhat crazy woman and stern man who just doesn't know what the FUCK she's doing and is totally thrown off by her shit".

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt—Another easy one, virgin hero (which I love) who's nonetheless quite stern, jaded older heroine (another thing I love—a jaded heroine), it has the Zorro masked man vibes, the high stakes, INSANELY good sex scenes that only Elizabeth Hoyt can write... And perfectly written angst that isn't magically resolved. Gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath—Another angst machine, has a scene that never fails to make emotional, a crazy setup that turns out to be deeply emotional. Icy proper woman/secretly deeply pining rake. AINSLEY!!!!

Princess by Gaelen Foley—A recent favorite; supremely angsty, supremely sexy, supremely BONKERS. He feels unworthy, which, please, is crack to me. She's a literal princess, giggly and flirty and horny to the max. He's a good bit older, they've known each other for YEEEEARS (... literally all her life), he works for her father. It's very ILLICIT AFFAIRS. Everything I love.

The Duke's Perfect Wife by Jennifer Ashley—Every single one of the first four Mackenzie books is a bANGER and this is the best one for me. I love a second chance romance. I love a growly hero and a heroine who absolutely owns him. I love that they've both been around the block (and have had sex before, three times, as he reminds her). Hart needed a woman who could MANAGE him and match his freak, and Eleanor is that. She boops his nose and he growls! He does a striptease for her! Perfection, even better if you've read the first three books.

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean—Another one I read early in my return to romance, and I adore it. Bourne is the most dickish hero MacLean has written (imo) and Penelope is such a a sweet heroine who nonetheless doesn't put up with it. He has to work so hard to earn her love, as he should. I adore the childhood friends to at odds vibe, another thing I'm sooo into.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale—A pretty dark historical? Allegreto is CRAZY, Elena manages him perfectly. I love a good kinky romance, and this one is so, so sexy? The femdom is perfect, but it's also beautifully written and has a lot of deep themes. The fact that he thinks he's going to hell and she's like "Whatever, I'll go there with you". It has both corruption and redemption vibes.

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe—One of the books I hyped to a ridiculous degree before it came out, and somehow it delivered on everything. Has a touch of kink (mostly through rough sex, biting, etc) but it's honestly so soft in many ways. Lockwood isn't a pushover or a cinnamon roll, but he does have so much heart and he falls so hard. Nellie being the resistant, rakish one delights me. It has a great world (we need more Gilded Age books). It's another one where everything isn't resolved PERFECTLY, and I love that bit of realism. Just a big sigh ROMANCE romance. "I'm keeping you, Eleanor" PLEEEEASE.

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall—Definitely tonally an unconventional historical, but my God, I love it. It's so funny. It's one of the only nb/nb romances I've read, and I love that it's a historical. Definitely the only one that has a castrato soprano lead, and we should honestly have more because they FUCKED. Like. Read it up. Castrati FUUUUUUUUUCKED. It's really tender and it has one of my favorite climactic moments. A very unconventional ending that made me smile so hard.

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long. Just a classic, perfectly written age gap romance. This one doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it hits everything it needs to hit perfectly. Has a great mix of humor, emotion, and heat.

Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas—While there are the classic Kleypas issues with depicting the Romani people and I do dock this book a little for that... Look. The romance aspects are perfect for me. I know that Kev is too angsty for some people, but I love angst and I love the childhood friend devotion and the feeling of unworthiness and Win being ridiculous horny and determined to have her own happiness. Has one of the greatest love confessions of all time. One of the best "the dam has broken and they are FUCKIN'" moments. Just GORGEOUS.

When the Duke Was Wicked by Lorraine Heath—Another one that gets me super emotional. I love the horrified realization Lovingdon has as he realizes that he's so attracted to Grace. The intense desire. The denial of his feelings soooo far into the book, even when it's painfully clear to everyone that he's madly in love with her. This book also is one of the best when it comes to dealing with the Dead Wife Question. Of course Lorraine pulls it off.

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall—Another one that's so unique and great and has amazing trans representation (at least to me, as a cis person, I could be wrong). It has this AMAZINGLY romantic moment that I always find SO FUCKING SWOONY. A great mix of old school vibes and modern sensibilities.

Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt—Truly bonkers. Maximus is my ultimate alpha hero; a dick, aggressive, super stern, super resistant to love. Artemis just isn't intimidated. There's a lot of angst in this book, and honestly? I find the fact that he is a dick and Hoyt isn't afraid of embracing that really admirable, from a writing perspective.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath—JACK DODGER I LOVE YOUR WORK. A perfect "rogue meets uptight lady" book (I hesitate to call Jack a rake because he pays for sex pretty much exclusively, but he's definitely roguish). There's a wonderful dynamic here, Olivia being in denial of her attraction.

A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught—A gorgeously written book! You can see the groundwork being laid for other historicals here. A fabulous setting. The way the romance becomes so vicious at points, in a frankly hilarious way. Royce dragging Jennifer to the altar like "I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE THAN YOU DO" is amazing.

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas. Classic, everyone loves this book (well... not everyone) but with good reason. It's so very good. The perfectly executed rake/virgin book, with iconic moments, iconic characters, iconic SPIELS. The moment when Sebastian staggers out of bed trembling after the first time they have sex lives rent-free in my brain.

Indigo by Beverly Jenkins. Just a fucking knockout of a book. Another "rake/practical virgin" book, backed by beautiful prose and impeccable historical research (nobody does it like Ms. Bev). There's so much seduction in this book. A great rooomance, but then it has a fun bonkers villain situation (I know some people don't like this... I do, I'm kind of a sucker for this type of controversial and perhaps dated villain). The ending makes me cry a lot.

Scandal's Bride by Stephanie Laurens—Kind of a new one for me, and it's here because it's so fucking bonkers. Constantly entertaining, Catriona is such a difficult heroine who... crosses the line a lot. Has a scene where Richard draws a sketch of her ass birthmark to be like "I WILL SHOW EVERYONE THIS TO PROVE THAT I HIT IT FROM THE BACK IF YOU DON'T MARRY ME". A delightfully fucking weird book and I loved every minute.

Hyacinth by S.M. LaViolette—The more I think about this book, the more I love it. One that I loved originally, and it rose in my regard over time. A scarred hero (who likes it rough). They're both switches. Hyacinth is neurodivergent and very much unconventional, and doesn't even think herself capable of love because of what society has told her she is. The climax of this book? Incredible.

Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas. A gorgeously done book, so ambitious, has an iconically HORRID hero (in the best way), executes the rare feat of offering both an amazing primary romance and an absolutely fabulous, emotionally affecting secondary romance. It just hits so hard, dude. It's so good. It's probably Kleypas's BEST book in terms of general quality (though DoY will probably always be my favorite).

Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley—A great marriage in trouble book! That's also super horny! I love so much that though there was a big breaking point in Mac and Isabella's marriage, there were very normal issues beforehand that had less to do with horrible behavior or ridiculous tragedy, but... Like... Them just not being ready for marriage? Especially him. The passion was always there, but passion and great sex isn't enough for a good marriage, and I love that in this book they do have the passion and great sex but also have to build a stronger relationship on an emotional level.

Regarding the Duke by Grace Callaway—Another delightfully bonkers romance. I love that they've been married eight years and she thinks it's enough but learns that it ISN'T. He has to open to her emotionally. There's amnesia. There's VILLAINY. I also love that the hero in this one has to. not only become a better husband, but a better father? I haven't read a lot of historicals where the hero and heroine aren't just married, but have kids.

A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell—Ummmm I read this very recently but it's been sticking in my heart? It's more lighthearted than a lot of the romances I've loved. But i just love this story of a hero and heroine going on a bicycle race lmao. I love how funny it is, and how the villain kind of... grows? I love that the hero is a rake and trans. I love that the heroine is a widow who decides to like, have good sex for the first time ever and go with it (and suddenly there are feelings). It's just really good.

Sweetest Scoundrel by Elizabeth Hoyt—Helloooooooo emotion. This is one of the best "healing from trauma" books I've ever read. Asa Makepeace is just a perfect rake who's secretly so deep and so gentle. The way he introduces Eve to sex is fucking gorgeous. His patience, his tenderness, his love of what SHE'S okay with it.

A Rose at Midnight by Lisa Kleypas Anne Stuart—This is what I'd call a dark historical. It's true enemies to lovers. The hero is a rat bastard for most of the book. The sex... is very dubcon for much of the book. But man. I think it's so bold, the writing is so good, the story is so different from what I've read in the genre. It just hit a lot of buttons for me. And it has a great secondary romance, something Stuart excels at. Ummm also the fact that the secondary romance is fueled by the secondary heroine wanting to save the primary heroine, her best friend? LOVE THAT.

Scandalous Desires by Elizabeth Hoyt—Sorry dude, Mickey and Silence are just for Me. He's a ridiculous rake. She's a Quaker widow. There's that element of like "I'VE GOT YOU MY PRETTY". I actually love the baby in this book, and that can be a hard sell for me. (Several of these books include kids lol, but man, it's just this thing where you need to get it right.) It has one of my bad boy/good girl books.

The Earl Takes All by Lorraine Heath—Lol sorry, Gorilla Twins is a banger all the way. It's fucking insane. It's super romantic. It has one of the best "angst horizons" I've ever read. It does that Lorraine Heat Thing where you're like how THE FUCK is this gonna work. And then it does! It's just everything, for me. Edward Alcott, you beautiful idiot.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Lightning Bug - Chapter 18

Master list 

Warning: this chapter mentions self-harm and a depressive episode for our reader. Lots of angst. 

Word Count: 4.3k 

“Any changes?” Natasha asked her girlfriend as she walked into the kitchen, an empty bowl in her hands. 

“She ate better than yesterday,” she put the plate in the sink. “But she still hasn’t said a word.” It seemed to be the trend. The young girl stayed locked in her room since the car incident. That was 3 days ago. They feared that they were gonna have to get Helen involved because of her lack of eating but she began to eat what Wanda brought her. 

“I’m getting worried,” Kate said, playing with the spider-shaped necklace around her neck. It was a gift from Yelena when the couple first started dating. Yelena wore an arrow, similar to the one that Clint gifted Natasha. But the Black Widow was getting worried too. She even called Laura asking for advice. The mother of three gave the best advice she could, being a little out of her element since her three didn’t have powers. 

“She needs to work through this,” Natasha said. “And when she’s ready we’ll be here to catch her.” The whole tower seemed to be affected by it. But America seemed to have taken it the hardest, spending more time at the Sanctum and traveling the multiverse. The elevator opened and Maria walked out, holding a folder in her hand. “No,” Natasha found herself saying before Maria opened her mouth. The agent smiled. 

“I’m sorry but Fury asked for you and Wanda,” Natasha grabbed the folder out of her hand. It was nothing dangerous, just smooth talking with some politicians. She slammed the folder close, a little harder than she attended. 

“Have him send someone else?” Wanda took the folder from her. There was no way in hell she was leaving the tower. 

“Don’t you think I tried, Nat,” Maria opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. “We are stretched thin,” she popped open the beer and took a long sip. It was only 11:30 but Natasha saw the bags forming underneath her eyes. “I know things are tense but I don’t have a choice. 

“Sestra,” Natasha looked at Yelena. “We’ll make sure she’s okay.” There were times like this Natasha hated her job and envied Clint. She wished she had a house in the middle of nowhere with no missions or need to train. Her family was happy and safe on a few acres of land. But there was so much red in her ledger for her to stop now. 

“Fine,” she said. “We’ll do it but Fury owes me,” Maria smirked, chuckling. 

“That list keeps getting longer and longer. 

*

The world around you seems muted, muffled as if you were submerged underwater. Nothing was clear, everything sounded far off as you stared ahead. You had no energy to move from your bed. Every bone in your body ached and your head felt fuzzy. The only interaction you had was with Wanda bringing you food. The interaction was a loose way you’d describe it. Wanda did most of the talking, you weren’t even sure what she was saying. But you ate the food even though it tasted bitter so they wouldn’t worry. And you knew they were. You couldn’t pull yourself out of this pit you were in. Every Time you tried to crawl your way out you were pulled back in. It was an exhausting, endless cycle as your mind degraded you. Monster. Freak. Killer. Worthless. You believed every word. 

When your door opened you were sitting up, coloring on a piece of paper. It was the only thing that you could bring yourself to do. The music was too loud. Reading seemed too hard. And practicing Russian left your brain fried. You were expecting to see Wanda unsure of when the last time you saw the witch. But Natasha walked in with her girlfriend. “Hey dorogoy,” she said, sitting down on your bed. Your legs were crossed so she sat closer to you than expected. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” Horrible. Bad. She smiled. Your throat was a little sore from disuse. Wanda chose to stand behind the Black Widow. You felt uneasy. Did they finally have enough of you? Were they here to kick you out? 

“That’s good!” Wanda said. You nodded. “Nat and I have to leave for a few days.”

“Fury is sending us on a quick assignment,” you frowned. They were leaving because of you. They didn’t want to deal with you. 

“Oh,” you said, looking back down. “How long will you be gone?” 

“2 days max,” Natasha said. You nodded. “Kate and Yelena will be here if you need anything,” you nodded again. “And we’ll be a phone call away, okay?” She added. 

“Okay,” you whispered, glancing up at them. “I’m sorry,” you looked back down. “I’m not sure where my head is.” 

“It’s okay,” Wanda assured you. “We’ll be here when it gets all sorted out.” They were about to leave but you called out to them. 

“Be safe,” you said. “Come back in one piece.” Natasha smiled. 

“Always,” the Black Widow closed your door behind them. You thought you’d be grateful for the silence, to be alone again. But it unsettled you, it scared you. Oh, how you wished you could be back in time and stop all this from happening. 

*

A shower was the first thing on your to-do list when your head felt less fuzzy. You didn’t realize how much it would help as the warm water washed over you. It made you feel human. You were walking out of your closet, dressed in fresh clothes, and drying your hair when it hit. It came out of nowhere. The feeling started in your legs, which was new. Your legs began to tingle and your feet cemented to the ground. The feeling traveled up to your stomach and chest where you felt warm. That fuzzy feeling returned in your head. Your muscles tensed up as the wave of electricity moved through your body. Every time you thought it was done it kept going and going. Finally, it stopped. Black spots appeared in front of your eyes and the metallic taste of your blood filled your mouth. You fell to the ground, unable to find the strength to keep yourself standing. A sheering pain ran through your head and the world went black. 

*

Steve was watching Bucky read. It was moments like this that he treasured. No mission. No meeting or training. No paperwork. Just quietness and the opportunity to admire the man he loved. Steve glanced at Bucky one more time before returning to his sketchbook. “Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, Miss. Y/n fell and hit her hand. I’ve already alerted Dr. Cho.” Steve never jumped to his feet so fast and ran to Natasha’s floor. The elevator would take too long. He took three stairs and heard Bucky behind him. By the time Steve got to her door, his chest was heaving and he opened her bedroom door. He saw her, laying face down on her floor. A small pool of blood was forming near her head. “FRIDAY alert Yelena and tell her to get back to the tower.” Steve bent down to pick her up but Bucky placed a head on his shoulder. 

“She doesn’t like skin-to-skin contact,” he said. Steve pulled off a blanket from her bed and carefully picked her up, being mindful of not touching her skin. 

“Miss. Belova is on her way back,” the AI said. “Should I contact Miss. Romanoff and Miss. Maximoff?” 

“Negative, FRIDAY,” Bucky said, following Steve to the elevator. He looked at his boyfriend as the doors opened. “It’s probably better if one of us tells them and not an AI.” He was right. Steve looked at the unconscious girl in his arms and prayed to whoever God was listening that she would be okay. 

*

Yelena felt her heart in her throat as she rode the elevator to med bay. They left the tower for just a few hours to try to get America out of the fuck she was in. She didn’t regret leaving because it was nice to see her friend smile again but Yelena couldn’t help but feel guilty. The doors opened and she saw Steve, Bucky, and Sam waiting in the chairs outside a room. “What happened?” Yelena asked, walking over to them with her girlfriend close behind. Steve looked up. 

“We don’t know,” he said. “Helen is still doing her assessment. All FRIDAY said was she hit her head.” 

“It could be because she hasn't been eating,” Kate said. “She just may need some food and a good night's sleep.” Yelena heard the elevator door’s open and she saw Pepper and Tony walk over. A party was happening down here. 

“What happened?” The CEO asked. 

“We were just discussing that,” Yelena said, filling in the couple on what they missed. 

“FRIDAY, can you tell us what happened?” Tony asked the AI. It took a moment for FRIDAY to respond which Yelena thought was odd. 

“It appears that Miss. Y/n has undiagnosed epilepsy,” the AI said. “This is not the first incident to occur but she asked me to not notify you when an episode happened.” 

“Epilepsy?” Steve questioned, looking at Kate and Yelena for clarification. But the Black Widow was just as lost as everyone else. Helen came out of the room, gently closing the door behind her. 

“Is she alright?” Pepper was the first to ask. “I know epilepsy that goes untreated can cause brain damage. We -” 

“Time out,” Helena said, cutting the CEO off. “Epilepsy? Where are you getting that from?” 

“FRIDAY informed us she had epilepsy,” Bucky said. “And it wasn’t the first time she had an episode.” 

“She doesn't have epilepsy and she didn’t have a seizure although her symptoms mirror it.” The doctor explained. 

“Then what happened?” Yelena questioned. Helen sighed. 

“Steve and Bucky told me of her powers. Have any of you seen her use them?” A chorus of no and headshakes was the answer the doctor received. Before the incident with Pepper’s car, Yelena believed the teen would go a lot longer without telling everyone what she could do. “She is pulling energy from around her; the beating of our hearts or the existing electricity in the room. Energy can’t be created or destroyed but it can be converted. So she uses that energy and creates electricity,” she explained. “But that energy can’t stay in her body. It needs an outlet. Similar to when you blow into a balloon. Even when the balloon is inflated you can still blow air into it. Until it pops,” Yelena connected the dots in her head. “Electricity is the same way when it needs an outlet it will make one no matter who gets hurt in the process.” 

“She’s electrifying herself.” Yelena guessed. Helen nodded. 

“From the scans we took, she’s been doing it for some time and it’s causing damage to her hippocampus,” she told the group. Yelena knew that part of the brain was related to learning and memory. “Right now her vitals are stable but she’s still unconscious. You can visit her but only 2 at a time.” The group thanked the doctor and she returned to her other duties. 

“We need to call Nat and Wanda,” Tony said. He looked at the two super soldiers. “Are you two okay with taking their spot?” They nodded. 

“Of course,” Steve said. “Will you guys keep us updated?” 

“We will,” Pepper said. “Kate and Yelena, why don’t you two stay with her until Nat and Wanda get here?” 

“I’ll call them to tell them what’s going on,” Sam added. A plan was in motion and finally, it was just Kate and Yelena standing in the hallway. Instead of going into her room, Yelena sat down in the chair Steve was sitting in. She began to play with the rings on her fingers. Each one had a different story, a different reason why she wore them on her fingers. She was so lost in thought she didn’t notice Kate kneeling in front of her, placing her hands over hers. 

“My love,” Kate whispered. Yelena looked up staring into the blue eyes of her girlfriend. “She’s going to be okay.” 

“Natasha is going to kill me,” Yelena threw her head back with a sigh. “I told her we would look after her.” 

“These things happen, Lena,” Kate sat down next to her. “And Natasha will understand that.” Yelena nodded, allowing the silence to settle between the two. When she looked at her girlfriend, the archer was in deep thought. 

“What is it?” Yelena asked. 

“Do you want to draw straws on who tells America?” The Russian smiled. 

“I’ll leave that one to you, little hawk,” Kate rolled her eyes, kissing Yelena on the cheek. 

“Fine, anything for you.” 

*

“Remind me to kill Fury,” Natasha said as they rode the elevator. She was holding onto Wanda’s hand as a lifeline. When she saw Sam’s name appear on the caller ID, she knew something was wrong. They booked it back to the tower before they were off the phone with him. Wanda chuckled. 

“You're not gonna kill him. You're just upset.” 

“And you're not?” The Black Widow questioned. 

“I am,” Wanda said. “One of us has to be level-headed and not think about murdering the Director of SWORD.” Wanda hit her hip against Natasha. The small action pulled a light laugh out of the Russian. 

“You're right. Thank you, little witch,” the laugh was much needed as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Immediately, Natasha saw her sister, sitting alone in the hallway. Not even the sound of the elevator pulled her out of her thoughts. She gave Wanda’s hand a tight squeeze before letting go and walking over to her sister. “Sestra.” 

“Natasha,” Yelena stood up. “I’m sorry. I told you she would be okay and I couldn’t keep my promise.” 

“Hey, hey,” Natasha put her hands on Yelena’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she maneuvered Yelena back into the chair and sat down next to her. “This is not your fault okay?” Yelena nodded. 

“You are here now and that is what matters,” Wanda added. “Have you been in her room?” The blonde shook her head. 

“Cho only wants 2 people in at a time. She wants to speak with you two. I’ll go get her,” Natasha let her sister stand up and walk to find the doctor. She wasn’t ready for this. She felt like her feet were glued to the floor. But she dragged herself out of the chair and opened the door. The air left her lungs as she stared at the still form in the hospital bed. There was a nasal cannula around her face and Ekgs on her forehead. A small gauze was on the side of her head. It took another squeeze from Wanda to get her moving and sit in the empty chair. Wanda sat across from her. 

“She looks so peaceful,” the witch spoke, breaking the silence. Natasha agreed but she desperately wanted to see the striking color of her eyes to tell her everything was going to be okay. A gentle knock on the door drew her attention from the teen and Helen walked in. 

“Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m guessing you’ve been filled in.” She stood at the foot of the bed, hands resting on the metal frame. Natasha shook her head. 

“We were just informed that she was hurt and came right away.” Helen nodded, her smile faltering slightly. Natasha listened as the doctor explained what happened. She had to admit that she was only catching every other word but she understood what occurred. Self-harm. An act she and those closest to her have gone through. 

“Can the damage be repaired?” Wanda asked. 

“I recommend introducing light exercises to her daily routine,” her eyes went to the girl. “But the most important thing is we need to stop her from continuing the behavior,” she sighed. “It’s impressive that she’s still doing okay.” 

“She’s strong,” Natasha whispered. 

“That she is,” Helen said. “Please come get me if you need anything or have any questions.” She left the couple. 

“You're right, you know,” the Black Widow looked at her girlfriend. “She’s strong so she’ll be okay.” 

“Let’s hope it’s enough.”

*

Kate found America in the kitchen making pasta. “Hey,” she said to the archer. “I figured everyone would have their hands full so I’m making dinner,” she scratched the back of her head. “I can’t promise it will be good.” Kate sat on the bar stool. 

“I’m sure it will be great,” America drained the pasta and moved the pasta back into the pot to add the sauce. 

“How is she ?” America finally asked, stirring the pasta and sauce together. 

“She’s stable. Her vitals are good but she hasn’t woken up yet,” America nodded, leaning on the counter. “She doesn’t have epilepsy like we initially thought.” America looked up suddenly. 

“What caused it?” So Kate explained it in the same way Helen told them. Somehow it was more heartbreaking as she watched her friend's face fall more and more. “Electrifying herself? I- I don’t understand. I thought she was doing better. Wasn’t she?” Her voice cracked at the end.

“She was,” Kate fully believed she was. Before the car incident, the girl now in med bay was completely different from the girl who first came to the tower. “Even though we are healing, people can regress. It’s not linear,” Kate has seen it first hand with Yelena. America nodded. “Can I ask you two things?” 

“Sure, doesn’t mean I’ll answer them,” America smirked. The archer rolled her eyes.  

“Why are you avoiding her?” The teen sighed, looking in the direction of Y/n’s room. 

“The last time I saw her I made her lose control because I wanted to fix everything,” she sighed. “But God Kate you should have seen the fear in her eyes. I don’t want to put her through that again. I can’t.” Kate understood that as she’s been in the same position as America. It was a simple mistake but Kate didn’t realize her girlfriend was stuck in a memory. She came up behind her for a hug and Yelena grabbed her wrist, flipping her over, and spraining her wrist. But the pain didn’t bother Kate; it was the fear in Yelena’s eyes that hurt more. It was in the beginning of their relationship so they were still learning about each other. Natasha had to pull Yelena out of her spiraling thoughts and got her to talk to the archer. 

“Do you like her?” Kate asked. “More than just a friend.” She added on quickly. A small smile grew on America’s face. 

“Am I that obvious?” Kate smiled, nodding her head. “Yeah, I do. There is something about her that I can’t describe. My stomach flips like I’m on a rollercoaster.”

“A little advice,” Kate said once America was done talking. “Don’t turn your back on her no matter how hard it gets,” she was listening with her full attention, feeding on every word the archer said. “Loving her will be difficult but so worth it.” 

“Speaking from experience?” America questioned. Kate heard the quiet footsteps of her girlfriend walking up behind her. 

“Yeah,” Yelena’s arm snaked around her waist and burrowed her head in the crock of her neck. “I am.” 

*

Pepper was lost in thought as she had music softly playing in the background. It was rare that the CEO let herself sit and not busy herself with Stark Industries. She couldn’t bring herself to tackle her growing to-do list. There was guilt making its home in her bones. “You're thinking very hard for someone who should be relaxing,” Tony said, handing her a mug and sitting down next to her. Pepper rested her back against his front. Immediately, he began to massage the tension out of her shoulders. “What’s got you thinking so hard?” 

“Just thinking about the past few days,” she said after a moment. Tony hummed. 

“You care about her, don’t you?” He asked. She took a sip, savoring the taste of spiked apple cider before resting it on the table. 

“Yes I do,” she said, turning to face her husband. “And I know you do too.” Tony turned her back to face forward and continued massaging. She had a big knot on her right shoulder that Tony focused on. 

“It’s her eyes,” Tony said. “Never have I seen such child-like wonder and sadness at the same time,” Pepper nodded. “I spoke with Banner and I think we can help her.” When she turned to face him, he didn’t stop her. “Cho said this happened because she’s not using her powers. I can guess she doesn't use them because she’s scared.” Pepper came to that conclusion as well. “So what if we create something where she can use her powers and do some good? It will kill2 birds with one stone, ya know? A safe and controlled way to use her powers and slowly change how she views them.” Pepper stared at him and then finally kissed him. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” she said, picking up her drink. The CEO half expected Tony to run off to his lap to work on the new project but he stayed, lost in his thoughts and worlds away. “Now who is thinking too hard?” She teased, squeezing his leg. 

“Do you remember that dream I told you about before Strange came to us?” Of course, she did. She thought about it almost every single day. “Is it something you would want to do? You would be a great mom.” 

“Tony,” she said, slowly. She moved away from him slightly to look at him. 

“Tell me to stop,” he said. “Tell me to walk away from this,” he gestured to the tower. “And I will. I have that cabin upstate and we can raise our daughter.” 

“You can’t walk away,” she said. It was a pipe dream. She’s seen the incredibly stupid things he’s done as Iron Man in the name of saving others. 

“Why can’t I?” He questioned. Being with Tony, Pepper learned the man was 5 minutes away from a sarcastic comment. But as she stared into his eyes, it was the most serious Pepper had seen him. “Rogers can handle the team and if he doesn’t want it, Wilson isn’t a bad option. I’m serious, Pepper,” he laced his hand with hers. “Tell me to walk away and I will.” But she couldn’t tell him to walk away and have a normal life to raise their daughter. She couldn’t make that decision for him when he wasn’t just her husband and best friend. Iron Man was a beacon of hope for so many. It would be selfish of her to take him away. 

“I love you,” she said. “But I don’t think the world is ready to say goodbye to Iron Man.”

“Will it ever be?” He questioned. Pepper placed a hand on his cheek and he turned to kiss it. She drew circles against his skin. 

“I’m not sure,” she said. “But we’ll know when it is.” 

*

“Knock, knock,” Natasha looked up as the door opened and saw America, holding two bowls. “I come bearing food,” she whispered, noticing Wanda asleep in the chair. “I know Helen has a two-guest policy so I won’t be long.” Natasha took the bowls from the girl, whose eyes kept flickering to Y/n. 

“I can leave,” Natasha said, ready to give her spot up but America shook her head. 

“It’s okay. Can you just let me know when she wakes up?”

“You’ll be the first one on my list,” Natasha smiled. “Thank you for the food.” 

“Of course. Try to get some sleep too. Goodnight,” she waved, carefully closing the door behind her. It wasn’t long before the smell of food caused Wanda to wake up. 

“That smells good.” Natasha smiled, handing her the bowl. 

“America made it,” Natasha blew on the pasta before taking a bite. It was good, a little over-seasoned but she was grateful for any food. Wanda giggled. “What’s so funny?” She asked her girlfriend. 

“Nothing,” she waved her hand with the fork in it. “Have you ever seen America cook?” She was right. The most the teen had cooked was toast. “It’s just amazing how one stranger can change us.” 

“Is it a good change or a bad change?” Wanda smiled. 

“It’s good,” the witch said. Natasha looked at the teen, finding comfort in the steady rise and fall of her chest. She wondered if she was dreaming or did her mind offer her one dreamless sleep. Natasha smiled. 

“Do you ever wonder what hugging her would feel like?” Wanda nodded. 

“All the time,” she whispered. “I wonder when the last time she’s been hugged.” 

“Or if she’s been hugged at all,” Natasha mumbled, angrily twirling her pasta. It made her blood boil when she thought how unfair life has treated her. “We’ll ask her when she wakes up,” she looked at Wanda. “I think it will help her feel more like apart of this family.” 

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea,” Natasha watched as Wanda reached into a bag on the floor and pulled out a book, she handed it to Natasha. It was the Outsiders. “She was reading it to you when you were hurt,” The Black Widow took the book and placed her bowl on her lap. “America says it’s her favorite.” 

“Is that so?” She opened the book to the first page. It was on the movies they made her watch in The Red Room, an American classic that was filled with their edited agenda. Kate and Peter made it her mission to show her and Yelena movies and TV shows that weren’t tainted by the Red Room. Natasha began to read, “When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I only had two things on my mind; Paul Newman and a ride home…”

_

Taglist:    @aestruvx, @toouncreativeforausername, @modedddd, @julilamoment, @mythixmagic, @yourmamacom, @vicmc624, @cherlenovix, @liliesandrosies, @whitewidowsbite, @clintsbigtoe,  @blackbirdv98

[laura1633]

Laura please tell me you understands my pain 😭

I know that the collison today was Max's fault. BUT I am crying over the fact, that everybody ignore Lando's insanely desperate and dangerous driving and divebombing! It's obvious that was the cause ofthe collison from Max's part. I hate that people behave like Lando is a saint and Lando behaves like a victim! Crying like a little child and not takes responsibility AGAIN at all! (Like in Spain)

While Max give the interviewers mature answers. And they still say that crashstappen is back, and he went back to his immature self like when HE WAS LITERALLY A TEENAGER!! I can't put up with these people anymore! 😭

They will never acknowledge that he is a grown up mature man now and won 3 championship because he HAS talent...

And for the last note, I am so sad for their friendship 🥺 after what Lando said he seems like such a fake friend and I hate it…

Thank you for reading my rambling 🫠

-🦦

Anon I am with you about the whole Lando being portrayed as an innocent victim and it is the thing that has annoyed me most about the whole outcome of the race. I should say that I am British so I am faced with British media which probably doesn't help!

I'm going to put the rest under the cut so Lando fans can ignore this. I am also going to go on a massive ramble so I do apologise 😂

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I think it goes as far back as the end of last year. Lando obviously had a pretty decent car towards the end of 2023, particularly at some tracks. There was a lot of talk about him not battling Max enough and letting Max go by because they were "friends". What struck me was how Lando then seemed to be quite defensive whenever someone mentioned his and Max's friendship. I think in part it was because he had seen the criticisms online about how he didn't defend hard enough and wanted to distance himself from the whole friendship thing. I didn't really like the way he spoke about Max BUT I know that friends have their own way of communicating so its up to them, they are both grown men. To me though it felt like he was almost embarrassed to say he was Max's friend which I thought was strange.

Fast forward to this year and now Lando has the fastest car but doesn't have the experience or, in my opinion, the skill Max has. Max is a three time world champion and you don't win multiple world championships by accident or by being a pushover. I think Lando is getting frustrated and this can then result in desperate moves being made. He would have been much better biding his time today. Maybe this is a part of his race craft he will develop given he is now fighting at the front regularly.

Today Lando was absolutely not an innocent victim against an aggressive Max Verstappen and I hate that that has even become a narrative. It is why I did not care for Lando's comments straight after the race as he really did play up to the "Max is aggressive" idea. To me his comments were immature. I can accept that he was angry and still probably full of adrenaline but it will just fuel all those so called fans who love to hate on Max.

The crashstappen nickname is absolutely ridiculous. Max came into F1 when he was 17, he was learning on the job. I also think that if you did a deep dive into his results and collisions over his whole career the nickname would be completely unwarranted. When you go wheel to wheel you will sometimes have collisions, it happens to literally all the drivers but for some reason Max gets absolutely destroyed for it.

Max has been unfairly portrayed by the media and certain groups of fans his whole career. Honestly there are times I wish he would just move to WEC or something because some of these F1 "fans" that can't deal with racing do not deserve him.

Max this season has been mature and respectful. He congratulated Lando in Miami and when asked about the unfortunate timing of the safety car he never started complaining that he would have won without it. His post race interview today was so mature. Max has so often stuck up for other drivers and I truly wish he would start receiving the same respect back, especially from people who are meant to be his friend. Perhaps once things have cooled down it will be different but if you can't put up with tough races then you are not ready for a championship battle.

In terms of dealing with it as a fan, I will say that it's fine to get angry and upset and then it's good to take a step back and reset because otherwise it can be too stressful. In term of Max, he is healthy and successful and has people who love him so he will be just fine. He will also go down as one of the greatest drivers of all time.

[future-crab]

I spent all day reading Laura Jane Grace's memoir and felt compelled to try writing something in that sort of non-fiction/memoir/personal essay style. I'm not really sure if this is worth posting, but you can blame @unusualshrimp for encouraging me.

Laura Jane Grace’s memoir has got me thinking about diaries, and about writing down important memories before they have a chance to fade too much. And honest to God, I think seeing her in concert might be one of the best memories of my life. Walking down well-lit Cleveland streets on a warm early-summer night, just barely cooled off from a sweltering early-summer day, humming fucking M*A*S*H to myself as I left the show – a song she wouldn’t release for another few months, and that I wouldn’t even especially like in its studio-recorded form – I was as happy as I’d ever been.

My cousin’s apartment was only a block or two from the venue, and despite the late hour, I had plans to meet up with them after the show. I wished, suddenly, that they lived farther away. I wanted this walk to last forever. 

Have you had any suicidal thoughts today? Yes, I’ve had about seven or eight. A modicum of propriety kept me from actually singing it out loud, but it looped in my head, over and over, the buoyant, infectious rhythm of it setting the pace of my steps. I hadn’t caught the rest of the chorus, or if I had it hadn’t stuck, so I just filled in the space in my head with nonsense.

Have you had any suicidal thoughts today? Yes, I’ve had about seven or eight. La da da da da-di da da da da, So ba-da killing yourself today. The chorus ended, then began again. The verses hadn’t stuck either. Have you had any suicidal thoughts today? Yes, I’ve had about seven or eight…

My scuffed platform boots bounced against the pavement. I wondered if the people passing by could tell – from my outfit, from the stench of sweat and booze and weed drifting off me, from the Laura Jane Grace tee shirt tucked between my body and my bag because it was too hot to put it on, from the big, doofy grin on my face – that I had just come from a concert. As far as I was concerned, I was glowing like those big sodium-yellow streetlights overhead.

Have you had any suicidal thoughts today? Yes, I’ve had about seven or eight. La da da da da-di da da da da, So ba-da killing yourself today… 

Was it “killing” or just “kill?” I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I couldn’t relate to the song at all, just then. Unhappiness was a vague and unconvincing memory. Life was joy and sweat and sticky heat, and shouting along to True Trans Soul Rebel in a packed, tiny room that smelled like tobacco and body odor.

The world didn’t feel real. The street, the lights, the air that never quite stirred into a breeze. I wasn’t used to such complete and uncomplicated hapiness. I had felt it after other concerts before – driving back to a crappy Long Island motel room after MCR, sprinting away from Mr. Small’s through a sudden torrential downpour after an unexpectedly excellent LS Dunes show, wandering the South Side with my sister after seeing the Crane Wives together, unable to make any conversation beyond Holy shit, that was a good show! – and I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but in that moment it still felt like it might.

I bounded up the three flights of stairs to my cousin’s apartment more loudly than I should have, and more quickly, too – I was out of shape and asthmatic, but joy had given me strength. I probably wasn’t very good conversation. I was still incoherent from the glow of the concert, convinced that such insights as, She played Black Me Out, and, like, obviously she was going to play Black Me Out, but holy shit Black Me Out was incredible! were not only interesting but important. 

It turns out my cousin’s boyfriend knew her work. When I mentioned Against Me!, he went, “Oh, man, that’s her? I didn’t recognize her new name – I used to listen to them way back before she transitioned!” We chatted about the band, about the venue, about the show. I tried, probably without success, to impart what it had felt like, because it had felt incredible. I was hot and tired and miserable through both openers, because I’d had a long drive to Cleveland that morning and spent just about every minute since on my feet and in the sun. She took the stage at 10:00 pm, and at 9:59 I was wondering if I should just head home early, because even if I could stay on my feet through the entire set, there was no way I’d enjoy myself. And then the instant she stepped into view, it was like a switch had flipped. I was grinning from ear to ear. I must have looked insane, but I wasn’t about to care. I will never understand the kind of stage presence some people have – it feels like a magic trick.

Eventually I had to go back to my hotel – my cousin and her boyfriend were too polite to hint that I should leave, but I could tell that they, at least, needed to get some sleep. I was still too wired to even attempt sleep for another few hours, but I managed to resist the temptation to keep them up all night. As I stepped out into the stairwell – old fashioned art deco tiling spreading out in pretty black-and-white patterns down three storeys to the exit below – my radiant joy dimmed just slightly.  The song in my head had lost some of its energy, but it looped dutifully on.

Have you had any suicidal thoughts today? Yes, I’ve had about seven or eight… 

I stepped out into the hot summer night aware that eventually – not soon, but eventually – I would come down from this high. I’d fall asleep, the sun would rise – though not necessarily in that order – and the day I saw Laura Jane Grace perform would give way to just some Sunday in May. But for just a moment, it had felt like that night would never have to end.

[aquila1nz]

Where oh where is the Shortland Street femslash?

I'm still sad that there's essentially no Shortland Street femslash fic. There were a smattering of Nicole/Harper stories back in the day, mostly on the pit of voles (fanfiction.net).

There's a tiny set of Nicole/Maeve stories on AO3 now, and an even tinier bit of Leanne/Rosalyn. There's no Samira/Francesca, even though I know there are other people like me that loved them and were so sad when that storyline went south so fast. There was so much scope for writing fic for them. This is the heartbreak of tiny fandoms.

I want to read Samira and Francesca's conversation at the wedding reception. I want extensions of all the episodes to give them more time together. I want Francesca taking Samira on a jetboat ride while they're at the conference because Samira has never been to Queenstown before. And oh boy do I want fixit fic: Francesca doesn't leave, Samira goes after her, they meet again in several years time. Francesca has taken that job at Central and they're quietly continuing their relationship during Samira's later episodes but Samira has had enough of the gossip wheel so she's not telling anyone. Any fixit will do.

Samira and Francesca both start working at Seattle Grace at around the same time but their paths don't cross straight away. To confuse things people keep referring to "the new surgeon from New Zealand" without realising there are two of them.

And then this year, where was the Rebekah/Maeve fic? That was so sweetly done for such a fucked up relationship.

Give me Rebekah and Maeve on the run together fic. Unhealthy Maeve trying to be everything for Rebekah fic. Future fic where they live somewhere very quiet far from everything.

Give me your headcanons where Rebekah didn't have Scott kill Wilder, she really has been trying to do her best and it's just all gone wrong along the way.

Give me redemption fic - Rebekah admits it, does her time and finds Maeve in the end.

Give me a crazy prison AU - Rebekah goes to prison for Scott's murder, but the nature of hearsay, proof and what can and can't be included in evidence means Maeve still gets convicted for Wilder's. And they end up in prison together. Maximum angst.

And where is the longform Nicole/Maeve fic trying to make Watsonian sense of their crazy Doylist on again off again relationship and sudden character changes? Where is the fluff fic that ignores it all? Where is my everyone is gay fic that pulls in every possible Shortie character? Where is my future fic that ignores Wilder's death and has all three of Nicole's stepsons working at the hospital, while Pele is a trouble making teenager? Where are the AUS?

And my younger self would love fic about Meredith and Annie, or Caroline and Laura.

Tell me what fic you wish for in the comments. Share your headcanons! Or please write some!!!

[astridellejo]

I wanted to have a TDOV Easter egg cracking story ready for today, but my ADHD won. So here's something I hastily put together at the last minute (like I always do).

My personal trans lore below the cut:

I grew up as a child of the 1980s and had absolutely no idea that trans was a thing. All I knew is that the body I had was not the body I wanted. Those thoughts started around 1983 when I was nine years old. I thought it was just a normal part of growing up, and that everyone in the world felt like that. Even in my senior year of high school when I was eighteen years old, I was still having thoughts like, "I wish this wanting to be a different sex and gender than the one I'm stuck with part of puberty would hurry up and finish, because it's getting really old now."

[egg emoji (not actually an egg emoji)]

Again, I didn't know trans was a thing. It was about 1995 when I would finally see actual trans people for the first time on some daytime trash television talk show. At which point I was like, "Wait, what? Oh no. I'm gonna be really bad at that, then. Because I just don't have it in me to be that ostentatious." I just wanted to wear black and sit in a dark corner of a café and draw in my sketchbook.

Now because it was the 1990s, your average cishet didn't grasp the difference between sex, gender, and sexual orientation. (It's 2024 now and most still don't.) So everybody thought I was gay. And I was all, "Well, technically yes. But not in the way you think."

See, my crushes in the early 90s were Winona Ryder, and Laura Dern, and Gillian Anderson. And who I wanted to look like was Gina Gershon in Bound, or Ally Sheedy in High Art. But back in the day, the idea of a butch lesbian trans woman just blew everyone's minds. The idiot gender headshrink (the person I had to get a 'permission slip' from to begin my transition) just couldn't wrap that around his brain. Which is why I only saw him three times before demanding my letter.

Then finally in summer of 2002, I began my transition (after almost five years of roadbumps and occasional self-doubt). I began second puberty and went through the really awkward teenage girl phase of transition figuring out my new self expression while my body slowly morphed into a shape that I was much more comfortable having.

It has now been 22 years since I began my transition and I'm happy to report that now I look more or less how I wanted to look in 1998, but with hair that is almost three feet long. (Ooo! Long haired butch!) Plus that hair has streaks of silver in it now, making it so much hotter!

I'm going to be 50 in September, which just short-circuits my headmeats. Does that make me a trans elder yet? Or do I need another decade? Whatever. It'll be interesting to see how my midlife crisis plays out.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Happy Transgender Day of Visibility!

(The selfie is from three years ago because I'm too lazy to go take one now.)

[fazcinatingblog]

i feel bad for gemma. stay strong, don't break his heart, he's really happy and

[beevean]

What are your thoughts on the critique of Netflix Castlevania (and perhaps the wider franchise as a whole) that it's version of Carmilla Karnstein has basically nothing in common with the character from the original novella from 1872.

Where's the melodramatic poetic aspect of the character? Why is THE archetypal lesbian vampire... not a lesbian? Why has she reduced to either reduced to an angry karen and/or Dracula groupie?

I criticize the games for wasting her and the show for making it worse :P

Carmilla in the games is mostly a name. In some games, he's even just a floating mask lol. I like her frilly design in CoTM:

But I have to agree that even in that game, she doesn't stand out in personality, she's a fairly simple Dracula follower and the one who corrupts Hugh against Nathan (wonder how that went).

Now, I haven't read the book (I want to, though! As soon as I can!), but I know that game Carmilla is associated with masks because her book version was killed during a masquerade ball, at the very least. Also, technically speaking, Carmilla in RoB is fought together with Laura, so they kept that part :P I like it, but sadly she hasn't appeared in more substantial games so we don't know much of her. (I don't count Judgment lmao)

As for the show... well. It's very interesting that the archetypal lesbian vampire was turned into a misandrist :^) I would complain about the fact that the only hint of her sexuality is her mentioning "three sleeping boys", basically making her straight, but maybe it's better than the "men bad" character is not also a lesbian. Of course, they could have not reduced her trauma to "men bad" and kept her as a villainous but fleshed out lesbian, if they wanted to.

I wish they kept the mask motif with her, or the skull motif - broooo can you imagine if in the final fight she rode a giant skull? Now that would warrant a "I am a queen" <3 But of course not. N!Carmilla is just an OC that stole a famous name.

[mer-acle]

Alright, since I'm super active on AO3 again recently I thought I might as well do a breakdown of my work :)

My current fandoms are Marvel (MCU) and EPIC the Musical

The characters you are almost certain to meet are Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow), Clint Barton (Hawkeye) and Athena (Goddess of Wisdom)

Okay let's have a breakdown (epic people you'll have to scroll)

The Spy and the Assassin

This is a series about the backstory of Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton, starting from childhood and catching up directly to Iron Man 2.

This is the most "inspired by visual media" of my works. Parts of it is written in Script form and the chapters are meant to be 25 minute episodes of a TV show that would run for three seasons.

It's MCU phase one compliant and takes some inspiration from the Avengers Assemble TV show canon (mainly for Clint's backstory)

Good for: People who like Phase 1 best, and who wished for a more comprehensive Black Widow origin (this is 500k words type comprehensive)

Coming back for you

What about another Black Widow origin, but Phase 2 compliant this time?

When writing The Spy and the Assassin, I did my best to adhere to the superhero genre, so you could feasibly believe this was a true prequel

For this one, I took more liberties, and focused more on hurt/comfort.

Laura and Cooper are in this, and so is a Budapest scene bc how couldn't I?

Again, technically Phase 2 compliant if you tweak the timeline just a little, but still no Black Widow (2021) to be found.

Good for: People who enjoy hurt and comfort with a focus on recovery and healing. People who like Laura Barton XD

One I will break, the others I will tear apart

Technically a sequel to The Spy and the Assassin, but stands on its own.

In about 2014, Steve, Tony, Clint and Natasha are kidnapped and imprisoned by a smug and sadistic asshole named Victor.

His plan: Torture one of them, watch the others break apart from guilt and anguish. And he chooses the one who has already endured more pain than anyone ever should to be his sacrificial lamb.

This is unapologetic Nat Whump. Like, there is intense physical and psychological torture in this. Nobody except Victor is having a good time.

(This is my favorite fic I've ever written)

Good for: People who like their whump and like it brutal. People who agree with me that Nat is the best avenger

The time they broke me

A retelling from Natasha to the team of what happened in The Spy and the Assassin. That's it. People enjoyed it for some reason lol.

Good for: People who want a Natasha backstory but want to know how the Avengers would react.

The Avengers Scenes

A series of deleted/extended scenes for the MCU. (Yes Natasha is in all of them)

Okay Epic friends, now for you

All of my epic fanfic is gathered in the Warriors of the Mind series, but I'll introduce you to the episodes.

In general, I know what you are like, those of you who liked the Wisdom saga will probably read anything with Athena in it atm

The Reunion Trilogy

(Work 1-3)

After the Events of God Games, Athena's first meetings with Odysseus, Telemachus and Penelope respectively.

Light h/c and lots of cute moments

Hermes presents: God Games

(Work 4)

Hermes explains our favorite wet man Odysseus what went down during God Games, things are appropriately chaotic.

Later, Athena receives a prayer

You can go home now

(Work 5)

Athena goes to free Odysseus instead of Hermes. H/C ensues cos guess what she's injured actually

Has two separate endings, one with Hermes and one with Apollo.

The one who makes her kingdom fall

(Work 6)

What happened on Olympus after God Games. How did the players treat their injured sister afterward.

Apollo, who always wanted a relationship with her

Hephaestus, who has known her the longest

Aphrodite, who has seen a different side to her

Ares, who deep down knows he never hated her

And Hera, who starts to believe she's done wrong by her

And all concludes with a crazy divine council meeting.

Goddess and Man

(Work 7)

A reflection by Athena on the times Odysseus called her "Thea"... And how she starts to think he didn't mean "goddess", but something more endearing.

Athena deals with feels. In the end she gets to confront them in person.

Ichor is not meant to fall like rain

(Work 8)

Athena meets her father for the first time after God Games. It's... Complicated.

Note: Winged Athena

Still watching over you

(Work 9)

A thunderstorm hits Ithaca. Both Athena and Odysseus may have some PTSD about that type of thing.

Also honorable mention of the absolute legend that is Eurycleia.

Fighting to be loved

(Work 10, in progress)

Athena is pretty badly hurt. The royal family of Ithaca tries their best to help her.

(FW this is whumpy as all hell)

[miraclesabound]

When It All Goes to Hell

Summary: Shoresy manages to really fuck things up between himself and Reader, and while Laura is willing to help patch things up, things get ugly first. Sequel to "That Hits The Spot".

Pairing(s): Shoresy/Laura Mohr, one-sided (?) Shoresy/F!Plus Size Reader, eventual Laura/Shoresy/F!Plus Size Reader, background Sanguinet/Mercedes

Notes: I know this makes her a little more like an OC, but I'm now expressly writing Reader as a plus size woman, and Shoresy has given her a nickname related to her job as a publicist for the Bulldogs. She can still be read as any race. Set after Season 1. Any italicized dialogue is meant to be in French. Also on AO3.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drunkenness, romantic frustration, canon-typical language, past fat-phobia on Shoresy's part, Reader using Shoresy's first name, misogynistic and fatphobic language, sexual harassment, aggravated assault, mention of police, description of injuries, hopeful ending (Friends to Enemies to Possible Lovers)

Tags: @pettyprocrastination, @captainsbestgal, @magpie-to-the-morning, @deadbranch, @brewed-pangolin, @ironmandeficiency

When Shoresy calls you over to play foosball with him and Sanguinet and Mercedes, you figure it’ll be guys vs. gals like it’s been most of the evening at the lanes.  Generally, it’s been you, Nat, the twins and Mercedes on one side, and Shoresy, Sanger, Hitch, Dolo and Goody on the other.  However, he surprises you by nodding to his side of the table. When you ask, he says, “Trust me, Pubsy, small game like this – makin’ Sanger play against his sweetie would just be mean.”

Honestly, you don’t mind the nickname. You like your job as a publicist for the Bulldogs, and at least he didn’t choose Pubby. That sounds too much like “Tubby”, and you hope that your weight isn’t the only thing Shoresy sees about you. In the last few weeks since he helped fix up your back, you’ve found yourself getting more and more sweet on him.

You join Shoresy on the red team, while Sanger and Mercedes take blue. “Rules are simple,” Shoresy says. “Gals on goals, guys in the middle, reset the ball if no one can reach it, we’ll play best two of three, losers buy the next drinks.”

You’re decent at bowling and billiards, but it turns out that foosball is much more your speed. With your goaltending and Shoresy on the attack, you absolutely annihilate the other couple. A third game isn’t needed, and you even join Shoresy in a bit of trash talk before Sanger goes to get your victory shots.

You and Shoresy stay a team for the rest of the night, and his arm keeps ending up around your shoulders. The others aren’t blind to the two of you getting cozy. Hitch and Dolo make particular note of it, and their conversation makes Nat’s ears tingle, even over the noise of the bowling lanes.

“You think he’s wheeling the publicist?” Dolo asks.

“Dunno, me son,” Hitch responds. “But ‘s true that where she’s to, that’s where ‘e’s at.” He smiles. “They do make a right pretty pair – would knit a fine coupla’ little ones.”

Nat’s managerial instincts are screaming at her. When no one’s looking, she pulls out her phone and sets herself a reminder – she needs to talk to you within the week about this Shoresy situation.

--

“Am I in trouble?” you ask. Coming into Nat’s office during the day is rare – she usually leaves you to your own devices in your room down the hall.

“Not at all,” Nat promises. “But I need you to be straight with me about something – are you and Shoresy a thing?”

“Um…” you shrug. “We’re not officially giving it the old college try, but we’re not not a thing…I think?” You wish you could give a clearer assessment. You and Shoresy have spent time together every day this week, and he’s been physically affectionate, but he hasn’t tried to kiss you either.

“Fuck…” Nat mutters. You look at her funny, and she speaks more clearly. “Listen, you’re a grown woman, I can’t tell you who to spend time with, but there’s some shit I think you need to see.” She pulls out her laptop and opens it to a video link. “Did you watch the National Seniors Championship back in ’19?”

“Didn’t get the chance.” You come around to her side of the desk and crouch to see the video. You squint when she hits play – “Is that Shoresy and JJ?”

“Yup – and it wasn’t pretty how they met.”

Your eyes grow wider and wider as the video goes on. It’s not just Shoresy hitting JJ’s leg that gets to you, though that’s one of the uglier hits you’ve ever seen. What’s viscerally upsetting is what Shoresy is saying to JJ through the whole thing. You’ve heard some vicious anti-fat talk in your time, both directed at you and in general. However, the pure vitriol coming out of Shoresy’s mouth is enough to make you nauseous.

The video finishes, and Nat turns to you. “You see why I’m worried?” she asks. You nod your understanding. “Plus, he’s getting Laura Mohr to warm up to him. He’s cleaned up his act, but he’s still a loudmouth, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“No, no, I get it,” you say. “I appreciate the lookout.” You really do, even if you feel your heart deflating.

--

Nat’s words echo in your head for the next few weeks, especially after Laura finally accepts Shoresy’s request for a date. You hold out hope that it’ll just be a one-off, but when she starts attending practices and coming along to group outings, you know she’s Shoresy’s sweetie for real.

You don’t hate her – far from it. In fact, as she integrates into the group, you understand why Shoresy is into her. She’s more his type, especially with the age gap, and she’s just good fun to be around. This woman knows every joke you can think of and then some, she’s got good taste in movies, and when you see her around her kid, you recognize that she’s a wonderful mother. You’re even comfortable with her calling you P in front of the gang.

No, it’s not Laura who ruins things between you and Shoresy – it’s Shoresy himself. You understand him pulling away from time together; you’d be doing the same thing if you’d met someone. That part makes perfect sense, even if it stings. That said, when you see him, he’s still kind to you – or so you think.

However, one evening changes all that. You’re finishing up paperwork in your office, and you hear the guys on the team chatting down the hallway. You’re not above gossip, so you put your work down, trying to focus on what they’re saying.

“Think we’ll ever ask JJ back?” you hear Hitch ask. “The man could do his work, b’ys.” You’ve been wondering the same thing yourself – you know he ran back to Quebec after some woman trouble, but you never knew the particulars.

You hear Shoresy’s voice chirp back, “Not if I can fuckin’ help it – Frankie’s a fuckin’ coward who doesn’t know how to treat women. Fuckin’ walrus pulled Laurence LeBouef and didn’t worship at her fuckin’ feet? Fuckin’ fat loser…”

You tiptoe to the office door, close it as quietly as possible – and then go back to your desk and sob. Nat comes by to check on you about ten minutes later, and you tell her everything.

--

You’re not going to have Shoresy booted from the team; you’re not that vindictive - but you do cool considerably around him. You’re still cordial to the others and to Laura, but to him? You are winter incarnate. One time, he tries to tease you about something innocuous, and your response shocks him.

“Knock it off, Fenton, you’re too old for this.” NO-ONE, not even his dad, uses his first name. He doesn’t know how he stepped in it, but he has to make it up to you.

It’s Laura who texts you some time later, asking if the three of you can meet up at Doghouse. You haven’t been answering Shoresy’s texts or calls, and you know that he’s using Laura as a workaround, but if she’s going to be there with him, maybe this won’t be so bad.

On the night in question, you get there early, and you find a seat at the bar. You’re looking at your phone when someone taps your shoulder.

“Hey, is this stool taken?” The voice belongs to a decently attractive man with dark well-groomed facial hair and a stylish haircut.

“All yours – my friends’ll use these other ones when they get here.”

You think that’s the end of it, but instead of taking the stool elsewhere like you expect, the man sits down next to you. “Buy you a drink while you wait? I’m Rolland, but everyone calls me RJ.” You can’t remember the last time a guy took the initiative so quickly to chat with you. You ask for a whiskey and Coke, and RJ gets a tall pint of some beer you don’t know the name of.

The conversation flows easily at first – but then you find yourself ill at ease. You don’t know if it’s RJ’s mannerisms, or if he’s looking too intensely at you – but something here isn’t right. It doesn’t help that he finishes his pint rapidly and is already on a refill while you’re only halfway through your cocktail. When he asks if you want to leave with him after only about fifteen minutes of chatting, you’re only too happy to tell him no.

“Told you, I’m meeting my friends.” Your phone buzzes, and you see a message from Laura. “In fact, they’re parking now.”

RJ has been smiling, but now that smile turns into a snarl. “You got some fuckin’ nerve leading me on, you fat bitch!” Before you can chew him out, something crashes into your face and shatters against it. You lose your balance and hit the floor hard.

As you try to sit up, RJ is staring down at you with a twisted grin. “Not so high and mighty now, are ya?” He reaches out like he’s going to grab your hair, but in a blur, he’s shoved back against the bar, and Shoresy is there, his eyes burning like the wrath of God.

You’re so disoriented by the last twenty seconds that you think you must be seeing things – when did he get here? That said, Shoresy’s voice is unmistakable. “YOU DON’T HIT WOMEN, YOU FUCKIN’ ANIMAL!” He bellows, and he lands at least two punches on RJ, both to the face.

Someone touches your arm and you nearly jump out of your skin. “Hey, P, hun, it’s just me…” You turn, and Laura’s right next to you. “Can you stand?”

You nod, and she helps you up. Two bouncers are pulling Shoresy off RJ, and when you hear a siren, you realize someone must have already called paramedics, cops, or both.

--

The paramedics confirm that you avoided a concussion, but RJ isn’t so lucky. The small cuts on your face are also nothing compared to his black eye and broken nose. The cops even try to hold Shoresy briefly for assault. They don���t let him go until they get the video from the manager showing what happened. By the time it’s all figured, it’s past midnight, and you just want to go home. Laura’s been helping you stay calm, but when Shoresy finally comes over to check on you, you lose your shit.

“Fuck you, Shoresy!”

“Fer what?!”

“Fer bein’ a fuckin’ hypocrite!” you tell him. “I know how you feel about fat people; I heard you shit-talking JJ when he’s not even here to defend himself – and then you go and nearly goddamn kill someone because I’m insulted??”

“But Pubsy, it was more than –”

“I’m not fuckin’ finished! You do this in front of your sweetie too? Like I’m…fuckin’…like I’m yours to save? And now I’m gonna hafta explain this whole goddamn thing to Nat and try to keep it out of the news and….and…oh fuck me…”

You can feel tears stinging the edges of your eyes as the last of the adrenaline leaves your system. Laura lets you lean on her, and she tells Shoresy, “Babe, I think it’s gotta be just us girls for a minute – see you tomorrow?” Shoresy pouts, but he accepts a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye and he scoots out.

You and Laura sit down on a nearby bench, and she pulls a tissue out of her coat for you. While you dab your eyes, she says, “I’m not gonna tell you not to be mad at Shoresy, but did you actually see what it was that RJ hit you with?”

You shake your head. “Nope – just that it crashed on my face and I hit the deck.”

“It was his pint glass – and I saw that one of the shattered pieces looked like a dagger. I don’t read minds, but I know I feared the worst – and I bet Shoresy did too.”

A cold feeling runs down your spine as you remember the violent glint in RJ’s eyes. “You…you think he might have…?” You make the throat-cutting gesture.

“I dunno,” Laura admits. “But I know Shoresy doesn’t want to take any chances when it comes to you – he likes you a lot.”

You want to be happy about that comment, but everything just feels like shit right now. “I’m sorry,” you groan. “I swear I haven’t been trying to steal him – fuck’s sake, I’ve been actively pushing him away!”

“I know,” Laura says. “But…if he were to get himself figured out, would you … be willing to share?”

Your mental gears grind to a halt so fast that you’re surprised steam hasn’t come out of your ears. “….WHAT.”

“That’s what we wanted to talk about with you tonight before everything went pear-shaped.”

The idea Laura’s presenting is something you just cannot process right now. Your confusion must read on your face, because she offers you a hand to stand up and says, “Let me get you home so you can sleep – we’ll catch back up on this in the morning.”

[sun-lit-roses]

Emily of New Moon Book Club Chapters 15, 16, and 17

I am *desperately* behind, so now I get to gulp down several chapters at once 😁

Chapter 15

The Old Lee Well!

Perry!!

Perry and Ilse have such dramatic introductions. Ityfitting - but such a contrast to Teddy who ghosts into the story through hearsay more than anything.

'Keen grey eyes' - another one for the unusual eyes bucket. Actually, Emily eyes are described as grey here, too. Typo or do they change color? They're 'great grey eyes that looked blue under her long lashes.'

Wait, were Teddy's eyes ever described? Yes, 'black-browed blue eyes ' Hm, very normal. (Suspiciously normal?? 😂)

Aw, I forgot Perry decided to hire on at New Moon because Emily lived there. And to start going to school! All in one paragraph. Fast worker, that.

'I told him he should not call his Aunt Tom an old beast but he said he had to because she wasn't a young beast.' I love Perry.

...and the drama begins! Perry doesn't like Teddy who doesn't like Perry who isn't liked by Ilse, except sometimes none of those things are true.

The wallpaper trick does get another mention! I thought it disappeared altogether after the first. I still wonder if it's something LMM could do.

Emily arguing that she'd rather be Frances Willard than Joan of Arc because she's still alive is priceless. No wonder Ilse turned that argument into a fight!

Ooo Cousin Jimmy recited his poetry in front of Perry as well as Emily! That seems significant since he wouldn't do that for anyone but Emily during the potato boiling.

Chapter 16

This whole chapter always makes me just as mad as the first time I read it.

Perry is a brick from first to last in this chapter. The kitchen loft scene is so good!

And Teddy with his drawings! Revenge on Rhoda and Miss Brownell. I wish they'd ever done an illustrated version of Emily with interpretations of Teddy's drawings.

What was Ilse doing while all this went on, I wonder? We only got Emily, Perry, and Teddy's actions.

Dear Aunt Laura!

Chapter 17

'My ears are not big, only pointed.' I know this has come up before in the book, but LMM certainly laid the fae elements in thickly with Emily.

'I thought I need not be fritened. The angels are here. But then I felt I would be as much fritened of the angels as of anything else.'

Emily earned the praise of Aunt Elizabeth! No higher goal doth there be.

I am curious when she baked the cake though - if she didn't start until after the visitors came, was Cousin Jimmy keeping them entertained while she baked?

Emily asking if Aunt Elizabeth would like to be handsome and then wondering why she was annoyed 😂

I'm glad we get a little update on Jennie!

The first Jimmy Book! And an actual date for the age she's turning. I seem to recall the time frame getting muddled in the last book of the trilogy, so it's nice to see some stable time stamps here.

I wish we got to hear some of Aunt Laura's stories about Juliet! We know so little of Emily's mother, so while Emily is learning more about her, she's still a blank to us.

Oh, the letter to Aunt Nancy - it is so much harder to write for a critical audience. But clearly Aunt Nancy just writes from the hip - 'child must be stupid.' 😂

That's all I can read tonight, but I'm catching up! Reading these three all together makes it clear how quickly time passes. They covered November to June straight through!

[laurasbailey]

hey, sorry to come out of nowhere with this, feel free to ignore! just wanted to get a bit of perspective on the c3 negativity i've been seeing for so long, which i've tried and failed to avoid and has been bumming me out more than i would like. this is my first campaign, it has brought me so much joy and company, but every time i end up reading a deeply negative take i can't really shake off the feeling that they're actually right, cause some of it makes sense to me and i can't unsee that. i know i'm being paranoid about it and truly setting myself up to be miserable and ruin the whole thing, which at this point i might've already done, but i just get sad wishing i could've had experienced the things everyone raves about (like different pacing and a lot of RP) for this campaign, which i'm so close to. do you think c3 is actually, objectively, worse or shallower than the previous ones? is there truth to the criticism (about it being too plot-driven, about the characters making each other worse and not being a good fit for this story, about the cast not being as into it and so on) or is the internet being the internet, and i should basically touch grass? it's not like i would drop it, honestly, i'm just sad thinking about how this story and these characters could've worked out if the "quality" was the one i keep seeing everyone talk about in regards to c1/c2. i know it's not that deep and it shouldn't matter in the long run, i'm just struggling a bit to not give in to the negativity and wanted to get your take on it, as someone's who's navigated this fandom longer! and again, truly sorry for the unprompted rant and thanks in general for being cool and taking the time to make gifs and recaps :)

you said it's brought you joy and company and it's seeing the negativity that's starting to ruin it, which is, honestly and sadly, a common thing that happens in online fandoms. negativity will bring the mood down regardless, because it just spirals into further misery. personally i stopped looking at fandom opinions and i've been a lot happier ever since! half the stuff you've said in here i've never heard before, that's how off the grid i am now lmao.

to answer your question, no, i don't think c3 is necessarily "worse" because, while people are entitled to their opinion, i think that's such a lazy, basic ass way of looking at it. also i just don't think a dnd game with people who are storytellers for a living can be shallow unless that's their goal, quite frankly. are there aspects of c3 i dislike? of course! but the same is true for all campaigns. there were parts of c2 i thought were very weak, despite the entire internet praising it like the second coming of jesus. there are things i think c3 does better than c2, even. and there are things c1 does better than both c2 and c3, and so on.

do i like that most of the campaign has been bells hells vs. a ticking clock? not really, it does mean certain sacrifices are made. do certain characters get on my last nerve? absolutely (but that's not exclusive to c3 lmao). at the same time though, i get the three women front and centre of the main plot, which has never happened before. i get a laura/marisha character romance after watching them have great chemistry for years. i get c1-level stakes and fantastic female npcs/villains, which c2 was mostly lacking. i get ashley full time (!!!) coming out of her shell and being her best and most chaotic self. and i get SO MUCH of the c1 characters? i'm fucking spoiled if you ask me.

maybe some of the criticism is very real and warranted (again, haven't seen it and don't plan to) but at the end of the day, this isn't my game of dnd or yours or any of the viewers'. we are literally watching other people play an improv game where they're crying one minute and making dick jokes the next, you just have to be along for the ride. going into the campaign with certain expectations is really silly and critiquing it the way you would a tv show just doesn't work. also unless these people are friends with the cast and speaking to them irl, how could they possibly know they aren't enjoying it as much like be serious 💀

i'm gonna be so honest here: idk if the people who are constantly spouting negativity are just miserable, but they sure look it! also stupid! why? because normal people who hate something simply ✨ stop watching and move on ✨. sure, hatewatching can be fun if you and your friends are in someone's living room or discord call shooting the shit, but doing it online day after day after day? honestly i just feel sorry for those people. happy people do not spend their time throwing essays worth of negativity up for the big wide world to see! how do i know this? because i was that person in my teens and i was severely unlikeable!

if you've enjoyed something without the bias of someone else's opinion, then you've enjoyed it! but your opinion can also change as the campaign goes, that can also be true! i would be interested to hear the reasons you loved it initially, because i think you'll find that most of that core stuff is present in all three campaigns.

the recent plot of c3 has been more stressful than any plot in previous campaigns, so understandably people have big feelings. my advice: the block button is your friend but so is the follow button! criticism is healthy, find people who deliver it in a way that's not some whiny entitled baby. letting someone else's opinion influence yours will never make you happy.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4/5

Book Blurb:

If a fairy godmother can get one sister into a marriage, getting another out of one should be easy…

Lady Theodosia Balfour has certainly gotten the short end of the stick—her stepsister, the newly crowned Princess Beatrice, is telling everyone in polite society that Theo, her sister, and their mother are evil, wicked, and horrid people who treated her like a slave. Though Theo knows this isn't exactly true, it seems her life is thoroughly ruined by the rumor. With the Balfour family estate on the verge of bankruptcy, Theo's only path forward is a forced betrothal to the Duke of Snowbell, a foul-tempered geezer who wishes only to use her as a brood mare for spare heirs. 

Desperate for help, Theo clings to the only thing that might save her: the rumor of a fairy godmother, one that supposedly helped her stepsister secure a prince. After discovering a way to summon a fairy in Beatrice's old room, Theo thinks her prayers have been answered. But the fairy she meets isn't at all what she imagined. Drop-dead gorgeous, incredibly cunning, and slightly devious, Cecily of the Ash Fairies is much more interested in gathering powerful favors and smoking her pipe than providing charitable magic for humans in a bind.

Before she receives magical assistance, Cecily sets Theo to three tasks, seemingly to prove that Theo is a selfless and kind person. Helping her along the way are Cecily's familiars, the flirty human-turned-mockingbird Phineas and the aloof Kasra, a fox shapeshifter who should not be as handsome as he is for someone with such cutting remarks. As Theo works on her tasks, she shockingly finds kinship with the magical creatures she's helping, and starts to wonder if a continued life among her human peers is what she really wants after all.

From debut author Laura J. Mayo comes a hilarious new spin on the Cinderella tale!

Review:

A cozy fantasy reimagining of Cinderella but from the perspective of her evil stepsister! Lady Theodosia Balfour is sick and tired of being second best and constantly losing to her stepsister, Beatrice, who just happened to get married a prince. When Theo's mother tells her she's got her a proposal from a Duke, she couldn't. be happier... until she finds out that said duke is a foul tempered old man and Theo doesn't actually have a choice since the family is broke and Theo's mother essentially sold her. Desperate for an escape Theo discovers a mysterious book that tells her how to summon a fairy godmother... but everything has a price and if Theo wants help from said fairy godmother she has to complete three tasks. Along for the journey are the fairy godmother's two familiars, a flirty human turned mockingbird named Phineas and the fox shapeshifter Kasra, who is as handsome as he is blunt. Theo finds herself thrown into a world of faeries, magic, and the start of her own journey of chasing what she wants. This was definitely a unique retelling of Cinderella and it is the first book in the series. It's got about one grain of romance so don't go thinking it's a romance heavy story, rather its a cozy friendship kind of story about growing and about the shenanigans. It's a cute book and I am intrigued to see where the second book goes with how this book ends. The retelling aspect was fun and I liked the twists of the story overall. It's definitely an easy read and one i'd recommend for fans of Cinderella retellings!

Release Date: October 8,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Orbit Books | Orbit for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*