#//cause I know it's wrong but I have no clue how to fix it

[kyouka-supremacy]

Uhm

[justyn1]

The Spycrab. Why does it exist?

What is a Spycrab?

A Spycrab is an iconic animation bug for the Spy from Team Fortress 2. This bug was introduced since the game’s launch in 2007 and still exists today!

This post will cover on what causes this bug happen, how to fix it, and why it SHOULDN’T be fixed.

Debugging the Spycrab

First we need to know how do you become a Spycrab in TF2. To become a Spycrab the player have to pull out the disguise kit, crouch, look up, then start moving in any direction.

This give us a clue on what’s going on. The issue is related to looking around while crouching with the Spy’s disguise kit. We can take a look at how Valve setup the Spy’s animations since they provided the model sources in the Source SDK. Let’s take a look at spy_movement.qci since that’s where they handle all of the animations related to moving around. From this point I will refer the disguise kit as PDA since that’s what it called in the sources. Looking at the entry for Crouch_PDA and Crouch_Walk_PDA everything seems to be written correctly. Theres nothing wrong with the code itself

Line 15: $sequence Crouch_PDA PDA_crouch_idle loop alignto a_reference addlayer PDA_aimmatrix_crouch_idle activity ACT_MP_CROUCH_PDA 1

Line 424: $MPCrouchWalkWithWeapon Crouch_Walk_PDA 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 PDA_crouch_walkN PDA_crouch_walkCenter PDA_aimmatrix_crouch_idle ACT_MP_CROUCHWALK_PDA $infoNode$  

This means that the issue is coming from one of the animations itself. Lets load up the PDA crouch animations in SFM and compare with the normal stand up animations.

Everything looks fine however there’s something odd with the pda_aimmatrix_crouch_idle animation. It’s in a different pose entirely! To summarize what a aim matrix do, the animator put the character in various poses mimicking that the character is looking around. The game will take those poses and blend between them depending on what direction the player is looking. Generally you don’t want to stray way from the idle pose too much since it can cause potential problems when blending between various poses at once.

With closer inspection, it seems the pda_aimmatrix_crouch_idle animation is actually an early version of the spy’s knife aim matrix animation. Here’s both aim matrices side by side.

The Fix

Now knowing that the bug is created by accidentally exporting another aim matrix animation for the wrong weapon. The fix is actually very simple! Without touching the animation files itself. We can go into the spy_movement.qci and replace any mention of pda_aimmatrix_crouch_idle with pda_aimmatrix_idle and that’s it! Compiling spy_animations.qc and loading up TF2 we will see the Spycrab no longer works.

But should this bug really be fixed?

This is the part where I tell you that the Spycrab bug should never be fixed in TF2. Even though this bug was stemmed from a mistake and it’s pretty simple to fix. This bug should never be fixed purely because it’s very important for the game’s history and community. After this bug was discovered and popularized back in 2008. It spawns plenty of memes within the community and in-game references from community cosmetics and unusuals, an official rare taunt for the disguise kit, warpaints, and a poster from the map Carnival of Carnage a Halloween reskin of Doomsday.

Hopefully this post provide some interesting insight on how this iconic bug was created and the process of debugging animations in Source Engine!

[evilminji]

Okay, but... now I'm wondering >.>

@the-witchhunter We talked about Danny being Morningstar's feral, probably engineering oils and ectoplasmic goo covered, mad scientist/himbo hybrid (attack) purse dog. His special lil guy.

But!

I seek your Knowledge(TM).

From second hand accounts? He seems to HATE the hypocrisy. The blaming HIM for humanity's own choices. The rat race and endless song n dance of "Righteous Good VS. Cartoonish Evil". Because it let's humanity paint themselves the helpless victims. Because it's all surface level. Because it is not so easy to escape the ugliness of your Sins, yet they keep trying to scapegoat him.

Fuck um.

He was tired of it.

But? He still has CONSIDERABLE POWER. It's probably written down. And the Ring Of Rage? Is proooobably not the loveliest of artifacts? I imagine, like the Crown, it's NOT leaving Danny alone. One of those "we don't CARE if there is no throne left to sit upon, you WILL wear us, as King" sort of systems.

It genuinely would not and DOES NOT matter, if not a single soul in all the Zone bows to him. Did he defeat the previous holder of their Right To Rulership? Yes or No.

If No, fuck off.

If Yes, new monarch.

Is it hurting him? Not the rings problem. Nor the Crown's. Heavy is the weight, etc etc. But! DANNY would certainly care. He is... is ANGRY all the time now. Has no idea who would even MAKE this bullshit ring. Why JUST Rage? Yeah, it makes ghosts stronger, but at what COST?

He can't even get rid of it!

......by himself.

Luckily, he's still clear headed enough to know that he's NOT in this by himself. And it's amazing what "mom, dad, this ring is trying to drive me insane. Help me" in a terrified and tearful voice, can brush over. No one threatens their baby and all that.

It would honestly be hilarious, seeing the extended Fenton clan decend like LOCUSTS on Pariahs Keep, searching for clues, terrifying the local ghosts, if... if he wasn't so tired.

God he's so tired.

It's Aunt Alecia who... "politely encourages" a passing scholar to lend them the book they need. Took the poor sucker right out of the sky. Guy never stood a chance. RIP.

He learns he has to head..... over? Like... 27 that-ish way, then up. Huh. 27 WHAT?

Realities, apparently. He's in the wrong bundle. Branch? Neighborhood? Eh. Clan Fenton rolls back out, he packs his bags, and hilariously enough? Goes off to the devils night club. Hopes he likes rings. Or hates them.

Thankfully, being "king" means the Zone? Kinda... humors him? Like... it still has RULES(tm). He can... can FEEL that now. But it's willing to bend some for him, if he asks. And anything NOT against the rules? If it's in the right mood? He need only ask. It's weird. Being suddenly so powerful, yet NOT, at the same time.

Cause none of it's his.

All he has is the Zone's attention. The ability to ask pretty please. If you don't mind. And then? The highways between... ALL will just? Shift and change for him. He can see how it went to Pariah's head. The Zone is pretty agreeable. Is by nature Amoral, cause it's not a Being, it's... well, it's the Zone.

And everyone wants him to ask things. Do things. Demand this or that. Use this power.

Maybe he doesn't WANT too! Maybe he didn't WANT to be king! Doesn't he have the right to say NO? To refuse? Why do they think he OWES them service? An eternity of politics and people trying to kill him, for something he never wanted in the FIRST PLACE.

He's so tired.

The nightclub's pretty cool.

So he comes to ask, politely of course, cause the guy's probably busy, if Morningstar could... dunno, fix or destroy it? Want a ring, maybe? Also he heard you MADE the stars. Huge fan of all of that. Can I ask about the process? Or are you in the middle of something?

And? Lucifer? Turns around, from where he's Leaning Seductive Yet Elegantly(tm) to see... scrawny. Tiny corpse child. No... half? Corpse? Alive. Dying. Alive yet dying. Huh. Well, that is different. And here he didn't think he'd get see anything NEW. You, child, are NOT a zombie. What are you?

Halfa.

I have no idea what that is. What do you want?

He gets shown the ugliest, crudest, peice of shit ring imaginable. A genuine foul little curse. Really stinks up the place. He destroys it, obviously. This club has STANDARDS. Hope that wasn't important?

Kid just smiles the biggest fangy lil grin. No. No it was not.

Obvious, lie, but cute lil teeth. He'll allow it.

He gets dragged into talking about the stars. And talking. And talking. Mostly bragging and explaining. Kid hangs off his every word. Follows him around as he makes his rounds. Asks good questions. Completely focused, dispite the booze and barely dressed dancing all around him.

Lucifer can't help notice the crown.

Lovely little thing. Space ice and star dust, glittering like jewels and light catching the mist. If he remembers right... that one iiiiiis..... not Limbo, it's.... Zone! That crown is the Zone, it changes to suit the wearer. He recognizes the vibe. Awfully young, aren't you?

And.... it all burst forth. He didn't even need to press. Use persuasive words and honeyed tones. Like an inflamed, festering wound. The merest brush is enough to spill everything.

Negligence, greed, blood lust. Bigotry and xenophobia. A tyrants endless quest for power. Ah, humans. They truly don't change do they? Realities away, dead or alive. Now they're harrasing a child. He honestly looks miserable. Whereas just a moment before, listening to Lucifer talk about his work on the stars, his soul practically GLOWED with light. A tiny little star unto himself.

.......maybe it's the big ol "I'm you BIGGEST FAN" eyes. The sad wet cat aura. Perhaps the scrawny "could snap you like a twig" teenager, all elbows and knees. The fact he is, in fact, NOT human; for all that he once was. But?? The kid? Is... not terrible company.

He'd even go so far as to say? It's like having a pet intern.

He can sleep on the couch.

Tell you what, you stay here? I'll keep taking about stars and YOU can do the chores I don't feel like doing. I'll take care of you and all that.

And Danny? Honestly was sold at the word "stars" but? This sounds like a phenomenally terrible idea... and he has yet to meet one of THOSE he hasn't made out sloppy still with, so deal! But as a minor, that DOES make you his new gaurdian for the next four-ish years. He's legally obligated to finish schooling.

Ah.

.....well shit.

(Just? Local stressed 14-15 year old Ghost King does RESPONSIBILE thing and finds Adultier Adult. With more qualified Adult powers. Unfortunately for everyone, the adult is Lucifer Morningstar, night club owner. Even MORE Unfortunately, said ghost kind has pack bonded with the Nice Star Man, who saved him from the Bad Ring, and effectively offered to let him crash on his swanky couchs.

Now Morningstar has to? Somewhat VAGUELY pretend he gives a shit local schooling system, as he puts his charge INTO it. Actively giving waking terrors to the magical community. What evil plot is afoot? Where did he get this tiny minor death god? What is his end goal FOR said child?

No one knooooows~

But Lucifer is just doing this cause he's a Being of his word. He hates the tedious minor chores he'll be foisting off onto Danny. And? Most importantly? Look at that face. *shoujo sparkly eyes of Star Sempai Noticed Me!* it's like having a golden retriever puppy. Ffs he has STANDARDS.)

(It'd be hilarious to watch the hostile 5th dimensional chess DC characters have going on in the background, all while? Danny is like? Man! Isn't this universe GREAT? Everyone here is so CHILL! And nice to me! I'm so relaxed now! Finally, I can finish my education in peace.)

@hdgnj @hypewinter @lolottes @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation

[stvrnzcherries]

RIDE ME

c.sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: who could’ve thought that a cowboy hat could turn your night with Chris into something more fun.

warnings: sub!chris, smut, praise kink, p in v, pet names, breeding kink, use of y/n, swearing, creampie, masturbating, unprotected sex, (please, don’t!).

Based on this request.

not proofread!

౨ৎ

You and Chris have been dating for five months and made it public to the fans a week before their first tour.

You went on tour with him and his brothers. Chris was doing a live on Instagram in the hotel room that you guys got together in on the last day of the tour.

You were wearing a pink cowboy hat that a fan had given to you earlier, “We are so grateful for all the support that you guys have been giving to us since day one.” Chris says to his phone screen as thousands of comments pop up on the chat.

Everyone was complimenting the both of you, how cute you guys looked. It made Chris smile more than anything else in the world, he never thought that he would get this much support from the fans about his relationship. “And…yeah I guess that’s pretty much what I wanted to say in tonight’s live!” He chuckles a little as he turns to look at you. You were fidgeting with the knot that connected both strings of the cowboy hat, you looked back at him and smiled, Chris giving a reassuring smile in response.

“Here!” You took off the hat and placed it on top of Chris’ head and giggled at how it looked for a few seconds, “This is going to mess my hair so bad, y/n.” He laughs as he fixes the way the hat is on him. “It doesn't matter, you look so cute!” You kept giggling at the sight of Chris with a pink cowboy hat.

Chris chuckles as he returns the hat to you cluelessly, causing the comments on his live to go wild, thousands of comments popping up per minute. "Oh my-" Chris says in complete shock, tapping on his phone desperately.

“What’s wrong?” You ask turning your sight to peek at his phone.

“I don’t have any clue.” He replies, his lips forming into a thin line, turning off his phone and tossing it somewhere in the bed.

“Well, I guess that was it…” You patted his shoulder as you stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

Chris POV

As you were in the bathroom taking a long and relaxing bath, Chris on the other side was lying down on the bed that you both will be sharing, scrolling down through his phone to check if there were any comments about how his instagram live unexpectedly ended.

But he didn't see any complaints, mentions about that. Only thousands of videos about a specific part, to be more detailed the part where you gave him your hat. It seemed that everyone was freaking out about it.

Why would they freak out about a meaningless action?

It didn't mean anything.

Right?

Chris couldn't help but check the comment section. "What the fuck-" he murmured to himself as he read each one of the comments.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

ᯓᡣ𐭩

"What the fuck is the cowboy hat rule?" Chris murmurs to himself.

He kept lurking about it, and the more he found out the more he realized that it was just some stupid booktok thing.

It was an invitation to fuck.

He left his phone on the bedside table and lay flat on his back looking at the room ceiling.

As long as you didn't know about it, the less he had to worry about it.

Right?

Perhaps, the idea sounded...a little tempting for Chris, maybe too much for him to admit. The image of you riding him was traveling through his mind, making his cock twitch a little.

Shit.

He looked up checking if the bathroom door was still closed, the one room that you were in.

More thoughts crossing his mind about you.

How your naked body probably looked, how your boobs would bounce each time you would bury his dick deep inside you.

You guys never had sex before but that didn’t meant that you both talked about your past experiences before you even started dating.

But he never felt this needy for someone ever.

He needed you, he was craving to get a taste of you.

And that's when he felt the bulge on his pajamas grow even more, the throbbing sensation being painful to resist.

He had to do it.

As he snaked down his hand, getting it under his pajamas and underwear, feeling his precum leaking slightly, and using it as a lube to satisfy himself, the friction of his palm against his tip made him throw his head back. He then wrapped his hand around his base.

Chris began to motion his hand up and down at a frantic pace, whimpers coming out from his mouth.

Closing his eyes, the image was back again. You are on top of him moaning his name out loud.

“Oh f-fuck! C-Chris”

At this point, his hand was working at an ungodly pace, each time the dirty thoughts were building even more on his head.

“f-fuck…y-y/n” he groaned, feeling his high getting closer and closer, whispering your name as if were his daily mantra.

The ecstasy was too much for him, too much that he didn't even notice that you were now there. Looking at him pleasure himself.

“Chris!!” You snap him back to reality, the wave of ecstasy washing off of his body.

Y/N’s POV

After what seemed like twenty minutes of relaxation for you in the bathtub you felt more than ready to finally get out and dress up. You were exhausted and all you needed was to head to bed and cuddle with your boyfriend.

As you get out of the bathtub you pick up your towel and dry yourself off, feeling the warming sensation hug your skin for a while before the bathroom starts to cool off.

You toss on an oversized shirt and some white-laced panties, looking yourself in the mirror before heading out of the bathroom. You heard noises coming out from the other side of the door.

It was Chris’ voice, you could recognize that voice miles away from you. You opened the door and got out of the bathroom to only be met with the sight of your boyfriend jerking off.

Moaning your name.

The scenario made you wet, clenching your thighs. The sight of Chris arching his back every time he felt his high getting closer was just hypnotizing for you. The way his shoulders tensed at the contact of his hand wrapping his dick. The way his jaw clenched every time he added more speed to his hand.

You couldn't bear the need to fuck this man anymore, it was something you'd been craving since the day that you lay down your eyes on him.

“Chris!” You brought his attention by calling out his name. Making him look up in panic, like when a little kid breaks something up and feels guilty about it.

“Shit, y/n, I’m so sorry!” He sits up, removing his hand, and his face getting flustered with each passing second.

You could barely talk, speechless thinking about the way he was moaning your name as if you were the air that he needed.

Yet, he looked so embarrassed about he fact that you saw him.

Little did he know that you needed that too.

You stepped closer to the bed where he was lying, looking blankly at his lap fidgeting with his fingers as guilt washed over him.

You grabbed his chin in your hand, “Look at me.” You taunt him.

Those puppy eyes, begging for your forgiveness made you wetter within seconds. “What are you sorry for, hm?” You asked, gripping your hand around his jaw a little harder. “I-I don't know…” He answers hesitantly.

You caressed your thumb against his lower lip, “Seems like you still have a problem to fix down there, don’t you?” You tease, your free hand traveling down his bulge, squeezing it making Chris gasp. Taking it as an opportunity, you smash your lips against his, swirling each other’s tongues in each other's mouths.

He didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around your waist and sat you on his lap, both of your legs now resting on each side of him, grinding your wetness against his crotch. A few whimpers escaped out of Chris’ mouth between kisses as his hands roamed all over your body and were now situated under your shirt, massaging your nipples with his thumbs.

He then lowered his hands helping to take off your shirt “Can I?” He mumbled.

You nodded in approval as you lifted your arms and he finally tossed your shirt somewhere in the room, looking down at your breasts he grinned “God, ma.” Shaking his head he looked back at you and smashed his lips back into yours. His hands stroking your tits delicately.

He then proceeded to lower his kisses down to your jaw then your neck and stopped at your collarbone, nipping at the skin and leaving a few hickeys before he moved down to your boobs, sucking the left one while he rubbed his thumb on circles on the right one.

Your head rolled back at the sensation of his tongue swirling around, your eyes squeezing shut at the sensation. “F-fuck.” you breathed out.

Chris kept working with his mouth, changing momentarily to do the same thing with your right tit, your back arching, “G-god Chris.”

His lips traveled now over your collarbone to be met with your lips, crashing his into yours.

His lips connected to mine into a sloppy kiss, “Ride me.” Chris mumbles between kisses.

“What was that?” you tease, making him sigh in frustration. 

“Ride me, please.” He pleaded pulling away from your lips, caressing the sides of your inner thigh. “I need you so bad, ma. It’s killing me.”

You bit your lower lip, as you lowered your hands to guide Chris’ hands to the waistband of your panties, whispering at him “Take off your pants, now.” You demanded him.

He bucked his hips off to pull his pants alongside his boxers, his cock hitting his happy trail. He then moves one of his hands to pull your panties to the side, teasing his tip against your wet folds, groaning at the friction of your wetness against his tip. With no hesitation, he buries deep inside you as you moan out loud, bucking your hips back and forth. “F-fuck! Chris!”

You thrust slowly, feeling the stretching sensation inside you. He was big, more than you could ever imagine. Or even more than your previous boyfriends.

His eyes darted where the both of you were connected, “Ma…” he let out in a husky tone, groaning at the sensation of your walls clenching slightly around him. His eyes are squeezed shut and his head rolls back, resting it against the headboard, his fingers burying into the sides of your hips.

The pace was increasing each time, his hips bucking up as you felt his tip kissing the right spot every time he did. “Y-you’re doing s-so good…” The words escape from your mouth with difficulty. Feeling the wave of ecstasy wash over your body, your senses get numb until all you feel is pure satisfaction. Your nails dug into his shoulders as you felt the well-known knot building up in your stomach.

Chris whimpering and calling out your name countless times. “I-I’m s-so fucking close, m-ma.”

“Cum inside me.” You command him, as you kept pumping his dick in and out of you, each time hitting the right spots. “Don’t fucking hold it back.” You breathed out as you felt your walls clenching around him, your moans getting louder and louder as your release was getting closer and closer.

Your climax reached, feeling slightly sensitive as Chris kept moving your hips until he could reach his release. Tears slowly formed in your eyes as he kept thrusting inside you.

Painting your insides white, he released, whining as he did so, the both of you panting heavily “That was amazing.” You mumbled, resting your head on his chest, kissing it intently.

He kisses the top of your head, “I guess, after all, we used the cowboy hat rule.” He muttered chuckling. As a response, you furrowed your brows, “What do you mean?” you ask confused.

“I’ll explain it to you in the morning.” He looks down at you and smiles.

౨ৎ

a/n: there you go! I feel like this sucks 😭 Also, thank you so much for the HUGEEE support that you guys have been giving to Brutal, it’s insane that it already has like 600 likes 🫶🏻🥹

Tag list: @sturniolossss @tillies33ssss @chrisloyalgf @alorsxsturn @sturnioloslurps @cindylcuwhoknows @3mm4yung @mattsfavwh3re @blahbel668 @lov3bug @ilovethesturniolotriplets

[sims3fiend]

Some dumb sims 3 updates/stuf

Or, how to develop severe brain damage in 10 easy steps.

Sooo… This is going to be more of a blog post than anything of any real substance, more of a whinge with maybe a few teasers for some stuff I may or may not release (probably not). Feel free to skip if you're after hot tips or coherent writing.

Stutter "fixer"

Sooooo…. The sims 3 has some stutter issueeesss… Incredible discovery, I know! I started looking at remedying them with settings, found some hidden settings that help reduce some of the issues but that can only do so much when the game was made in 2009 for 2009 computers.

So I had a looky at some things I thought could be causing it, mainly WinAPI functions because that's the easier route (h-haha…), and started to try to "optimize" some of the more common ones:

ReadFile: Was the first, and looking at the sheer volume of like 12783972198 calls a milisecond every time you move the camera, I thought surely I can speed it up a little r-right. Not really. I tried all sorts of… interesting things, file caching in memory, implementing the overlapped flag (took ages), etc. Oh and the performance increase? Literally nothing. It's called weirdly from wherever it's called and so we must suffer.

Threads: So, I had a look at other areas that were potential targets for speedup, ran an actual profile and it showed a problem areas namely threads and some other stuff I don't remember. ZwWaitForMultipleObjects and WaitForSingleObject take up a lot of time, so I very poorly attempted to optimize them, adding some timeout optimizations (and a bunch of other failed attempts). Despite being the most insane, this actually worked, and I got like a 40% speed increase in a very very niche metric that did not noticeably effect the game one single bit. I plan to combine all my failures into a single script eventually, maybe once combined they'll do something…

Actual insanity - Memory IPC: Then I had an idea, everyone hates e12, why don't we shove the games memory into another process and that'll fix it. No brain moment. No clue what past me was thinking, for some reason I thought you could like, access another processes memory if it was spawned from it, but uhh.. no, that's not how things work… I tried a few other things in a similar vein but it just crashed and crashed, so for now I'm just gunna work on:

Alloc/free mee - Current insanity: Currently, I'm still working on VirtualAlloc and VirtualFree (which is what I was redirecting to another process), but more from an optimizing memory usage standpoint than a… whatever the IPC thing was. There's a lot of things to try, and I've had some luck in some areas and some abysmal failures in others. There's a few promising functions calling VirtualAlloc/Free that seem to be potentially pointing towards memory leaks (004e54d0), but I'm too dumb to investigate that. At the moment, I'm going mostly just gathering more logs which takes forever and hurts my brain real bad.. On testing there's like 180 allocs that we could probably yeet no problem, which is like 750mb saved… Maybe idk.

I have plenty of ideas for deduplication, memory pool implementations to reduce churn/fragmentation, shoving things aggressively into pagefiles if they're not being used, etc. etc. Basically, there's a lot of avenues to explore, and I feel like there's potential… though I've definitely said that before and been dead wrong so…

Anyway, rambling over. I plan to release a dumb little renderer settings mod maybe-soon-ish that'll let you do dumb stuff that might be useful for reshade like turn shadows/drop shadows off and post processing off and on. I guess I could add max lots and other settings eventually too since they're static values.... Might also do a mythbusting post for some performance "tweak" stuff I see thrown around that isn't super accurate but I also don't want people to be angry at me so maybe not.

Sorry to whoever read all this, but also thanks :)

[manikas-whims]

hi lovely, first of all i wanna wish u a good day and i hope everything is going good!

i was cooking in the background but got to a block here, and i would like to know ur opinion on this:

lets say sylus (pre - relationship) somehow messes up bad with reader, to the point they distance themselves from onychinus. how do you think he would react and make up? I feel like he would observe from afar and then go ahead try to talk to them, but i have no clue what he would say, whats ur perspective?

tysm for ur work and im so proud to see u grow as a writer ❤️ byebye lovely!

Hiii! I've been wanting to respond to this for so long.. I'm just so tired by the time I'm home these days 😭

And I'm glad you think I've grown a little as a writer 🥺 means so much to me ♡ so sorry it took so long..🙏

As for the ask itself..

If Pre-relationship Sylus messes up,

then you'll definitely distance yourself from him and Onychinus itself because you still don't know him that well. He did abduct you from the auction and held you in captivity in his base. So of course it's quite difficult for you to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And Sylus seems to be the kind of person who doesn't easily takes offense to people judging him based on his line of work. But he'll definitely get mad because you aren't just some random person to him. He'll be disappointed because all it took was one mistake for you to judge him so harshly? Instead of treating him like every other person and giving him a chance?! He'd think you're just like the rest of the people who form an assumption of him based on his appearance itself. To think, he even bothered making an effort..

Thus, there's no communication between the two of you for at least 2–3 days..Not even Mephisto cawing and poking his cute, lil mechanical beak at your window 😞

And this leads to you getting even more angry at Sylus cause LOOK AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN!!! He made a mistake and now doesn't even bother explaining himself!? Doesn't even try to fix this mess!? Yeah..you should've known..he truly is like every other person from N109. It's your fault for being foolish enough to believe he might have any humanity behind those glowing crimson eyes.

But after the passage of those 2–3 days, you finally begin to sort through your thoughts and feelings.

You also start seeing some familiar faces around your apartment. Luke and Keiran do drop a bunch of packages full of clothes, accessories and other luxurious items you could barely afford on your Hunter's paycheck. Nevertheless you reject them all, and even yell at them. “Tell your stupid Boss he can't simply buy my forgiveness!”

There are moments when you just consider forgetting everything and make up but you resist the urge because that would only encourage him. He'll think he can get away with anything if you're so lenient. And so you suffer his absence for the entire week, slowly coming to believe that you weren't important to him at all..

But Sylus is a mature guy despite whatever his reputation suggests. He'll be mad for a while and put off but he'll come to terms with the fact that he made a mistake. And now after giving you ample amount of time and space to sort through your own feelings, he'll finally decide to randomly show up one day at your door, completely shocking you when you answer the door.

Before you can yell at him or push him to leave, he mumbles in a gruff tone. “I’m sorry.”

To say that you are shocked would be an understatement for it's not everyday that the dreaded leader of Onichynus utters an apology to someone. Men like him are used to making people bend their knees and grovel. Used to exacting apologies out of others instead.

You blink several times before asking. “What did you just say? I didn't quite catch it.”

His brow narrows and he scrunches his nose in that way he does whenever met with an obstacle. Sighing, he repeats his words. “I said I'm sorry..for what I did. For giving you a wrong impression and ticking off all the boxes of suspicions in your head. For showing you something that I'm not.” He pockets his hands– a sure sign of awkwardness– and cocks his head to the side. “And I vow to make it up to you.”

Out of nowhere, Mephisto comes flying, perches upon his shoulder and croaks loudly in support of his master.

You try your best to hide the smile threatening to burst upon your face. You'd forgiven him on his first apology itself because one glance at him made you realize how much you'd actually been missing him and his stupidly handsome face.

Still, in an effort to tease him a little, you tilt your head and say. “Hmm..I'll consider forgiving you if you repeat your words once more. On your knees.”

There is a brief pause in which you almost believe he will do it. His expression seems as if he is actually considering it. Then, he scoffs at you and flicks your forehead.

“Don't push your luck, sweetie.”

And you laugh in delight, punching his abdomen lightly. “Fine fine, let's start again.”

You smile and offer him a hand. He looks at it, his crimson eyes roving up to gaze at you, then he accepts your hand, and shakes it. “As you say, sweetie.”

hope you liked this lil piece ♡

» MASTERLIST «

[nyoomfruits]

Lestappen. 12

12. kiss in grief

It’s the sound of glass shattering that clues Max in that something’s wrong. He’s in the home office - which is mostly just a tiny desk pushed into the corner that they barely use and a giant sim racing set up – and so it’s only a few strides into their sprawling kitchen, one with giant windows overlooking Monaco harbor.

Charles is in the middle of it, by the giant kitchen island, back turned to Max, shoulders hunched. There’s a half opened box next to him, one of their water glass shattered all over the floor near his socked feet.

He’s shaking.

“Charles, shit,” Max says, moving backwards a little to grab a broom and a dustpan from next to the fridge. “What happened?”

It hadn’t looked like it was going to be a bad day this morning, when they woke up. Charles had been chipper, his leg hadn’t hurt that much, Max had even watched him putter around the apartment watering their meager collection of plants, humming quietly to himself.

“Your uh,” Charles says, back still turned to Max. “Copy of the Monaco trophy. Came in the mail.” His voice is thick, and his shoulders are shaking, and it doesn’t take long for Max to realize what’s going on.

“Oh,” he says, frozen in the middle of their kitchen, amid a sea of shattered glass, broom in hand.

Charles turns around then, and it immediately becomes clear he’s been crying, is crying, eyes rimmed red, cheeks wet, lip bitten raw. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I just opened it, and it was right there,” he says, voice thick, and Max’s heart breaks.

He opens his arms, an open invitation, one Charles has every right to decline right now. Max would understand, if he’s not the source of comfort Charles needs right now. If he’s too tangled up in everything. He wasn’t involved in the crash that caused Charles’s career ending injury, but he’s the one that’s still driving.

He’s the one that won the Monaco Grand Prix, two weeks after they told Charles he would never race again.

But Charles carefully steps over the glass, slots himself into Max’s arms like it’s the only place he wants to be right now, and sobs.

Max can do nothing but hold him, rub his back and whisper reassuring nonsense in his hair, press soft, featherlight kisses to the top of his head, and try not to break down in tears himself.

There’s nothing he can do. He wishes, so fucking desperately, that there was just something he could do. But there’s nothing. Just his halfhearted attempts at comforting Charles that they both know isn’t going to fix anything.

“I’m sorry,” Charles eventually says, in a wet, raspy voice, mostly into the fabric of Max’s t-shirt. Or well. Charles’s t-shirt, that Max is wearing. Truth to be told Max has forgotten, long ago, where his closet ends and Charles’s begins.

“Don’t be,” Max says. “I’ll get that thing out of here,” he continues, gestures at the box on the counter.

Charles lip wobbles again. Max knows he wants to say it’s fine, wants to be strong, and for anyone else he probably would have. But they’re Max and Charles, and they’ve been together for so long now, and so there’s no use, really, in lying. “Okay,” he says, and then gently takes the broom and dustpan out of Max’s hands. “I’ll clean up the glass.”

“Wait,” Max says, when Charles goes to move away. He grabs Charles’s wrist, pulls him close again, mindful not to disturb his leg, and then presses their lips together in a kiss.

It’s meager at best, and it tastes salty from Charles’s tears, but it’s a promise. I’m here for you, even though I don’t know how to fix this. I love you.

Charles kisses him back, however briefly. I’m okay, I just need time. I love you too.

Max mails the copy of the Monaco trophy back to the Red Bull Factory the next morning. Tells him to put it up for charity, or something. He doesn’t care.

Trophy’s are just trophy’s. Charles is Charles. And Max would do anything for him.

[dyaz-stories]

Cuddling — Day two of Inukag Fluff Week

Second one shot for @inukagfluffweek! This one is set in canon, and probably a little more on the hurt/comfort side.

Keeping an eye on Kagome was second nature for Inuyasha. After all, if there wasn’t food on her plate, she’d grow hungry and Jewel shards hunting would be interrupted. If there wasn’t a fire to keep her warm, she’d be too tired to go on. If they were caught in a downpour without shelter, she’d get sick. If she kept going when her legs hurt, the next day would be hell. So he got her food, he built the fire, he found the shelter, he carried her on his back. Not ‘cause he cared, though, well, he did care, a little bit, the normal amount, whatever that was, but for purely practical reasons.

That meant he figured out early on that something was wrong. He couldn’t pinpoint what for the life of him, though.

He’d added wood to the fire. He’d caught and cooked a rabbit. He’d carried her on his back half the day, holding her two-wheeled thing in one hand. He’d even offered his services in ridding some farmer of pesky yokai, so they’d get to sleep in a barn for once. Sure, he wasn’t Miroku, and he couldn’t secure them a place in some luxury house, but he was trying his best, ‘kay? Miroku wasn’t around anyway, and Kagome had never complained about luxuries before.

And still, when everything should have been fine, something was clearly wrong. Kagome kept looking in the distance, eyes turning glassy, mouth curving downward as she buried herself in her thought, keeping him so, so far away from her even if she was sitting right next to him.

 Inuyasha had no damn clue how to fix it.

“What is it this time?” he snapped at last as she was finishing her food in silence, taking small, slow bites, and she jumped at the sound of his voice. Her wide brown eyes focused on him at last, and that simple action was grounding enough for him that he would almost have felt sorry for his outburst.

Almost.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, and the immediate frown on her face told him she was not to be messed with right now — too bad he didn’t care, at this point.

“What’s wrong with you, you mean,” he scoffed, folding his arms and shaking his head. “You’ve been sulking for days. So tell me how to fix it, or just stop doing that already!”

If he’d been self-aware enough for that, he would no doubt have realized how childish he sounded. Kagome could have, too, but instead, her face flushed.

“I’m fine!” she replied, her voice too high-pitched to be convincing. “It’s not your problem anyway, so just forget about it!”

“How is it not my problem when you’re all—” He gestured at her, frustrated. “—and it’s a pain to travel!”

“Well if it’s a pain to travel with me, why don’t you just go with someone else?” she replied, raising her voice a little more.

“Because I don’t want to travel with someone else!” he yelled back. “I just want you to tell me how to not make it hard for you!”

She went quiet then, uncharacteristically so, red spreading to her ears, and Inuyasha growled under his breath, muttering to himself. He wasn’t sure what to do with this quiet Kagome. If she needed to scream at him to feel better, well, she could get on with that, and at least then she’d be fixed or whatever, but even picking a fight wasn’t working, damn it.

“I’m sorry,” Kagome whispered at last, and Inuyasha started like he’d been stung by a bee. Uh, yeah, not good. She didn’t do that. Even when she was in the wrong, she needed her time and space to calm down, and then she’d apologize, often while bringing him an offering of ramen. She never turned down a fight with an immediate apology.

That was when the tears came.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, sniffing.

“Wh— No— Don’t—” he pleaded, voice cracking, but she paid him no attention.

“I just— It’s been a very long year, you know? And I— I— I miss my mom,” she finally broke, waterfalls on her cheeks, quiet sobs wracking her body as she wrapped her arms around her knees.

Inuyasha froze. He reached out for her without thinking, overwhelmed by the need to make it stop, make it better, make her better, make it so she’d never ever cry again, but his fingers curled up before he could touch her, caught by some other part of his instinct.

“W-why didn’t you just say so! You can just— you can just go home then!” he scoffed, trying very hard to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t keep the worry out of his voice.

“But we’ve been on the road for days,” Kagome sniffed, “and it would take days to go back, and we haven’t found that stupid Jewel shard, and I just want her to give me a hug, and—”

“Ha, well I-I can do that too! You could have asked me!”

That made Kagome stop crying for long enough to give him a blank stare.

“Come on, Inuyasha. I’m not going to force you to hug me.”

“W-who said anything about forcing me!”

“Well you don’t look thrilled about it,” she said, doubtful, and at least she was crying a lot less now, but her eyes and nose were still read and he wasn’t going to let that slide, was he?

“J-just— just don’t move, okay?”

Clumsily, despite how careful he was being, he put both arms around her, awkwardly tugging her until he’d brought her against his chest. He was barely touching her, his arms forming a misshaped circle hovering around her. He’d hugged her before, but it had been an impulsive action, not one he’d thought about. He— had no idea how to do it intentionally.

Against his chest, Kagome giggled.

“You have to actually hug me, you know? Like that.”

She did it without hesitation, wrapping her arms around him. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his, and this time when he froze, there were very different emotions running within him. On the top of his head, his ears were twitching, all his senses alert, taking in her breathing that was getting more even, her smell, her breath against his skin. Swallowing, he finally brought himself to close his arms around her, and she sighed contentedly.

“See?” she asked. “That’s nice, isn’t it?”

He could barely reply around the knot in his throat. She felt so soft against him, so delicate. His half-demon strength would make it so, so easy to break her in half — and she knew that. Her warmth was spreading through him, from his chest and face to the root of his hair and the tip of his toes. Everything he felt was Kagome. With great care, he ran his fingers through her hair, not wanting his claws to cut through them by accident. She shivered, tilted her head forward a little to give him better access. Mesmerized, he kept going. Her hair felt soft between his fingers, silky.

Everything about this was calming. And she’d been right. It was nice.

It caught him by surprise when she moved, entangling herself from him.

“Thanks, Inuyasha,” she said, sniffing again. “I’m feeling better. It was nice of you to— Oh!”

He pulled her back into him, this time with a tighter grip.

“You said you needed a hug, so I’m giving you one that’ll last you until I can get you back to your time,” he said gruffly. “Now just sleep, ‘kay?”

Her laugh vibrated through his chest, and he found it to be the best thing he’d ever felt.

“Okay,” she said. “Thanks, Inuyasha.”

He would have told her that he was just doing it so she’d be in the mood for shard hunting the next day, but if she’d called him out, he would never have been able to lie with a straight face, so he chose not to.

‘cause truth be told, now that he was experiencing it, he thought he’d needed that hug at least as much as her.

Don't have ideas for the upcoming themes so this will probably be my last entry for the week! Thank you all for the love on yesterday's entry, hope you've enjoyed this one as well, and I'll see you when I see you!

[itsabouttimex2]

Sooooo... How do you feel about the season 5?

In short? Mid. 6-6.5/10.

In long…?

A severely rushed season that bit off way more than it could chew. A season that had the characters pull powers from their asses more frequently than ever before. A season that had shitty “dramatic” moments for the sake of having dramatic moments. A season that lampshades issues instead of fixing them. A season with so, so much wasted potential.

It basically boils down: everything they wanted to do COULD have been good, but they just didn’t have the time.

I’ll go into some varied details below. I’d also like to make clear- I’ll be tagging all of my Season Five Posts with “Lego Monkie Kid Season 5” and “LMK Spoilers” until August 1st. Then the gloves are coming off and I’ll stop tagging them.

(I still liked the season, for what it’s worth- and you can watch it in full here! I’ve got some drafts and bots cooking as we speak!)

This was a cute send-off to Flying Bark! It was nice of them to acknowledge, in some way, everything that those dears did for the show- because Lego Monkie Kid would NOT be where it is without them.

Significantly less cute-

The absolute kick in the fucking face that constantly superimposing old footage over newer, worse footage is.

You don’t want us to be constantly reminded of the animation downgrade- that’s the literal last thing that anyone wants. Why would you constantly remind us that it used to be better?

What the fuck does this accomplish? Okay, let’s make comparisons, cause that’s the only thing that can result from pulling this shit-

This is what happens when you constantly reference the older, superior content.

PEOPLE CONSTANTLY NOTICE THAT YOUR CONTENT IS WORSE.

Also, why is it so saturated? How do you make a Lego Minifigure look like he has jaundice?

It’s just a bad look to constantly reference content you can’t live up to. I’m hoping they’ll just recreate old content instead of sloppily pasting it into the background of the show- it’ll be less jarring.

Alright, what else…

———

Uh, I fucking called it! Nuwa is not MK’s “loving though bereft mommy”! Which I had been guessing ever since the Celestial Pagoda leaked, actually-

I mean, come on. He’s literally stealing the stones away from her as she reaches to take them back.

And the Season confirmed it! Nuwa might’ve be been MK’s creator, but she certainly wasn’t his momma.

And you know how the series subtlety clues you in to how little she cares about her “son”?

Nuwa didn’t give him a name. She had hundreds, maybe thousands of years to think on it- but no. No name.

We mortals name our pets, our vehicles, our art. We love them enough to bestow monikers.

Nuwa didn’t even bother to name her own sapient mortal creation.

But when he makes a move against her, does something she doesn’t want, takes destiny into his own hands?

She calls out to him with one word- not “son”. Not “MK”.

Nuwa angrily calls him “mortal”.

Becuase that’s all he ever was to her, really. A mortal pawn. A handmade puppet.

Someone designed to fulfill a sacrifice. Even though her intentions were good, MK’s sole purpose by her hand was to shoulder the weight of the world like a good little hero.

So… a potential villain in the making?

———

Lampshading the fact that you’re doing the “macguffin hunt” again does not excuse doing the “macguffin hunt” again.

Lampshading the “apocalypse after apocalypse” plots doesn’t make them any less exhausting.

Lampshading Macaque’s lack of narrative consequences does not undo the awkward and weak redemption arc.

———

They changed Mei “no longer wielding” the Samadhi fire, I guess.

Ignore that she never displayed a hint of concern or sorrow over “losing it” because now she’s sad and worried (after backlash from the fans over her losing it) about losing it.

Like, Subodhi knows so much about the world and the universe that he’s aware of his existence in the ink scroll- but he gets Mei not having an interplanetary level threat inside her wrong?

I smell a retcon.

———

Macaque’s redemption arc is still shit. I’ve got a whole rant queued to release soon, actually- I imagine it might be the final time I comment on his arc until Season Six.

To put it short- Macaque still falls upwards into redemption. No pushback or difficulty or introspection. He’s just a magically better person without any onscreen development to make the change believable.

But they reference this at one point?

Sun Wukong points out that Macaque escapes the trial without any punishment, and is just allowed to mope in place of an actual consequence.

So maaaaaayybeeeee they’ll do something in Season Six? I’ve lost all faith that he’ll ever be an interesting character again, though.

He’s essentially just “brooding rival #80058”. Instead of being a character that calls back to Seasons 1-3, from 4 onwards he’s just a brand new dude who totally didn’t commit any atrocities with a smile on his face- and he’s a worse and more boring character for it.

———

If I haven’t misjudged the intent, I think Monkie Kid will be going back to being an episodic series for the extent of Season Six. Again, they lampshade the “apocalypse after apocalypse” thing, yeah?

And now they have a perfect formula- find someone who’s having trouble with their new power, and help them.

And we might see Bai He again???

Let’s hope for a good breather season!

———

Rest in piss Li Jing their asses did NOT cook with you sorry papa

You could’ve been interesting in the writers didn’t try to pull a “loving father” bait and switch after you got like four scenes of being a raw jackass

If they were going to deviate from the source material and make you a good dad couldn’t it have just been:

“Li Jing, you were not invited to the trial!”

“STF that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy-“

“Father I’m 300-“

“Hush son, let daddy take care of this- that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy when he stole the Samadhi fire map!”

Maybe next season you’ll get to be interesting, hun.

(I’m still writing for Lotusfam though)

———

Drama for the sake of drama. 0/10 scene. Could’ve just had the interruption come AFTER they held hands, but no. Gotta drag shit out for the shippers or whatever. There was no reason to prolong this reunion.

I’m really not a fan of the “just wait another season for it”, mentality. Stop stretching shit out. You had a chance to do something sweet and heartwarming, and chose not to for the sake of trying to drag a conclusion out.

Ugh.

———

Characters just pull powers out of their ass for the sake of forcing dramatic scenes.

THESE ARE DOGSHIT SCENES

THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. THIS IS DONE SOLELY FOR THE SALE OF “MUH DRAMATIC FINALE” AND IS BAD

ITS BAD WRITING TO HAVE CHARACTERS PULL NEW MAGICAL POWERS OUT OF THEIR ASSES FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

IF WUKONG HAD THIS POWER FROM THE START HE SHOULD’VE USED IT AGAINST HIS FUCKING LETHAL ENEMIES AND NOT SAVED IT FOR HIS PRECIOUS STUDENT

MK NEVER LEARNED TO USE THE FILLET SPELL. THE WRITERS PULLED IT OUT OF THEIR ASS TO FORCE DRAMA BY HAVING MK TORTURE HIS MENTOR LONGER THAN EVEN THEIR ACTING ENEMY LI JING DID WITH A CIRCLET THAT IS CANONICALLY TIGHTER THAN HIS FIRST

WE SEE HOW FAST HE IS WHEN HE FIGHTS THE AZURE LION

MK CAN MOVE FASTER THAN WUKONG

HE COULD’VE BEATEN HIM THERE IN AN EQUALLY CLIMATIC RACE

I FEEL NOTHING WHEN I WATCH THIS BECAUSE IT IS FORCED DRAMA FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

—————————————————

💚💚💚

[uselesslexbian]

the tortured poets department sentence starters.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating. i wanna kill him.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. 'cause we're crazy.

who else is gonna know me?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

we could've played for keeps this time.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

'cause fuck it, i was in love.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

you swore you love me, but where were the clues?

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

i forget if this was ever fun.

no, i'm not coming to my sense.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

i'll tell you something about my good name - it's mine alone to disgrace.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

i will never lose my baby again.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake.

they said i was a cheat. i guess it must be true.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

tell me i'm dispicable, say it's unforgivable.

am i allowed to cry?

i keep recalling things we never did.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

if it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

you don't get to tell me about "sad."

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

who's afraid of little old me?

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him. no really, i can.

come close, i'll show you heaven.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you said i'm the love of your life.

well, you took me to hell, too.

what we thought was for all time was momentary.

are they second-hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead?

you're the loss of my life.

i can handle my shit.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive. it's an art.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they said, "babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and i did.

'cause i'm miserable! and nobody even knows!

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

they just ghosted you. now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm making a comeback to where i belong.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

[munsonsfairy]

cowboy cowboy 🍒🥧🤎

ib layout: @beforeimdeceased

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ sfw

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who sees you pulled over to the side of the road looking into the hood of your old truck. he sees you standing in front of it with no clue of what is wrong.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who’s voice is sweet and warm like apple pie. his dimples have you giggling like a high school girl.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who refuses to take your money after fixing your truck, but does say, “i think a home cooked meal will do the trick, sweet girl.”

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who shows up to your door in white shirt and blue jeans that hug his legs in all the right places. he has a bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in newspaper and you swear you could kiss him.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who could instantly melt seeing you in an apron with a floral dress underneath. the porch light shines the color of your eyes just right and he wishes he could stare at them forever.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who blushes when you pull him into a hug giving him a chance to smell your perfume.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who sits at the table and watches you do your things in the kitchen. you’re babbling about your job at the local nursery and he can’t help but admire how animated you get while talking.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who wishes he kissed you that night after dinner, but he promises himself next time.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who talks real slow ‘cause his uncle is in the other sleeping before work.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who takes you driving through the backroads. you’re sitting shotgun with your hair undone in the front seat of his truck.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who lays with you in the back of his chevy truck to look up at the stars. when he looks up, he just stares at you with love and whispers, “the way your eyes shine puts these indiana stars to shame.”

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who promises to build you the life you dream of. he probably can’t buy it but he will try his hardest to give you everything you deserve.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who kisses you that night under the stars. it’s passionate and breathless. his rough hands hold you close to him as if he’s scared you’ll disappear.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who’s favorite thing to do after a long day is sit on the porch swing with you cuddled into his chest. he will sometimes smoke a cigarette or sip on some warm honey tea you made. (it’s usually the tea lol).

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who stopped his truck during a tim mcgraw song and dragged you in front of the headlights just to slow dance. your head laid on his chest and it suddenly felt like home.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ nsfw

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who has you pinned down in the back of his truck. his mouth leaves sloppy kisses on your neck while he thrusts deep inside you.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who whimpers when you pull his hair while his tongue laps around your clit. his rough fingers fill up your hole having you cry tears of pleasure.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who makes you rub yourself against his bulge when you give him an attitude. he sits back smoking a cigarette while you cry and leave marks all over him — begging him to have his way with you.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who ties you up in the barn and has his way with you when he needs a break from working. the warm breeze hardens your nipples making eddie lose his mind.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who is the sweetest man ever to your parents only to have you bent over the sink while you’re washing dishes. you see his reflection in the window with his shirt unbuttoned and sweat dripping down his chest.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who wants to make you barefoot and pregnant so always finds a chance to fill you up. loves to watch his cum leak out of your abused pussy then uses two fingers to fuck it back inside. doing this only makes him hard again, “gotta make sure it stays inside sweet girl.”

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who watches you from across the ranch. you’re wearing your a cami with your panties — his favorite too. he has his hands on his hips with a smirk on his lips. you’re “watering the flowers,” but he knows damn well what you’re doing. “saw you lookin’ so cute from other there. think i don’t know what what you’re doing?”

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who isn’t giving you enough attention so you lay in his truck with nothing on. he hears your whimpering along with your wet pussy being fucked by your dildo. he’ll stand in front of the door and lean in making his muscles more prominent only sending you over the edge. eddie eddie eddie is all he hears. he licks his lips when he sees you cum all around the toy.

ꕥ cowboy!eddie who sits you at the edge of the tailgate with your legs wide open for him. your fingers are buried in his head of curls. his hand reaches up for your tits when his tongue flicks your clit. when you try to hide your moans, he squeezes your cheeks open with his rough hand then slaps you. “next time it’ll be harder if you don’t let me hear those pretty noises.”

[chaeonlyknows]

Casual - Jasper Hale

A/N: i know that jasper would NEVER, this is just for the sake of my angsty imaginations okay? he’s a gentleman and so so inlove. how could he? just bare with me in this alternate universe okay? anyways, please tell me if you hate it lol this is my first time publishing so forgive me if its shit. i tried my best, if this doesnt work out, maybe writing isnt for me… enjoy! and thank you for reading!

also, this is inspired by chappell roan’s casual, i just love her!!

edit: just fixing my grammatical errors.

Warnings: a little angst and mentions of sex, i think there were curse words? 18+!

my friends call me a loser cause im still hanging around

“y/n? what’s wrong with you?” angela asks you, jessica has been talking on and on about her and mike, so much that you unexpectedly drown in your own thoughts about you and jasper. “she’s thinking about jasper again.” jessica says, rolling her eyes. you turn your head around to sneak a peak at the cullens. “ugh, what are you guys anyway? what? edward got bella now his brother wants to mingle with you as well? like, come on people, im losing my friends to the cullens!” jessica keeps on rambling but your mind seems to be elsewhere. bella gives you that look that says “are you okay?” and you nod, ignoring jessica’s comments, once again, getting drowned in your thoughts. “—plus i heard that he had some type of thing going on with another girl. didnt emmett and rosalie talk about that?” and suddenly, upon hearing this, you turn to jessica with the look of confusion. angela and bella noticed this and angela spoke up. much to your dismay, you were so stupid. stupid enough to actually think that jasper hale would ever like you for you.

i’ve heard so many rumours that im just a girl that you bang on your couch.

“im really sorry to be the one to tell you this, y/n..” alice says, confirming what angela has told you. “i heard that jasper brushed off the rumours of you and him by saying you were only fucking, not so much as a relationship or bond. you guys were only casual.” angela’s words never left your mind.. you try to hold back your tears and nodded at alice, you thanked her for her honesty and left immediately.

i thought you thought of me better someone you couldnt lose.

how stupid are you y/n? why? why did you let yourself fall for such an arrogant boy?? you thought to yourself whilst walking on the way home. he didnt even feel the same way, he didnt feel what i felt whenever he calls me by those weirdly lovey nicknames, he didnt feel what i felt when he kissed me on my cheek. he never did. and you were just stupid to think that he’d actually reciprocate your feelings. you kept beating yourself up for falling in love with a cullen. unfortunately, you weren’t as lucky as bella. she fell inlove with a cullen that loves her back and you fell inlove with… well… a boy.

you said “we’re not together” so now when we kiss i have anger issues.

“hi darlin’, i missed you.” jasper greets you with a kiss as he sits beside you during your shared class. you pull away quickly and he could feel the irritable emotion that you’re feeling and immediately catches this. “what’s wrong baby?” he asks you searching your eyes for clues. you dont look at him and hum in response. “nothing, jas… im fine.” you respond without looking at him. it hurts, it just hurts. but i cant let him go.

you said “baby no attachment.”

“what’s happenin’ to you y/n? i thought we were on the same page? no attachment, remember? honey?” he asks. you feel rage creeping in you, how dare he? no attachment? and then he calls you honey? “i know, jas.. sorry” you apologise, finally looking up at him “no attachment… right, i forgot.” you said bitterly. you two had argued when he picked you up for a “date”, because he tried to kiss you as if nothing happened, you brought up the fact that he was seen with another girl and he got defensive which lead to this. he kisses your cheek and promises to make it up to you.

but we’re knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?

“i’ll make it up to you sweetheart” he says as he adjusts himself on his knees whilst you’re in the passenger seat. he fiddles with your skirt and underwear as his lips start tracing the inside of your thighs. his grip on your thighs are tight and you feel your climax coming down. he continues, inserting his tongue in and out of you while his other hand losens it’s grip on your thigh and rubs on your clit.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

“hello y/n!” rosalie greets you on your way to history class which startled you and made you jump a little. “uhm… hi rosalie.” you greet her awkwardly, taken aback by her sudden kindness to you. maybe she felt pity. “i just wanted to let you know that we’re having a quick trip next week, esme wanted to let you know that she wants you to go with us.” she says as emmett walks towards you both. “yeah, esme really misses you both, jasper will be there” emmett gives you a wink which you try hard not to roll your eyes at. “i’ll think about it, i might be busy though. thanks rosalie, emett” glancing at the both of them and walking away. you definitely dont want to get caught up with jasper on a trip, with his family. remember, it’s casual.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual.

“jasper!” emmett calls him, “esme wanted to invite y/n over next week at the beach house, we already invited her… so… just wanted to let you know.” emmett says as he and edward smirks at this. “you invited y/n?” he asked, very much clueless. “yeah, carlisle wanted her there too, he said she was a nice girl.” edward adds. “i might not come with you guys then.” jasper states, clearly annoyed. “what’s wrong with her coming with us, jas?” emmett asks sarcastically. “oh right! you two are just casual.” edward answers the question for jasper and the two snicker at this. jasper shakes his head and walks away before they could taunt him further.

if it’s casual now, baby, get me off again.

jasper kisses you, hard. he loves doing this to you. overstimulating you. making you come, again and again, and again… he loves how you feel, clenching around him when you’re about to come. his grip gets tighter and he fucks you harder. kissing your neck, chest, everything. and after you guys are done? every praise, assurance, word that he said vanishes. discarded. once he gets his pants on again, he leaves, giving you a peck on the cheek. and that’s all.

if its casual now, if its casual now then.

it’s saturday and the girls wanted to hang out, and you decided you wanted to go with them. you guys planned a sleep over for next week and you talked about boys, movies, and prom. which you didnt know whether or not you’d be going to attend. “y/n?? y/n!” jessica basically shouts your name to get your attention. “yeah, huh?” you say cluelessly. “didnt you hear what angela said?” jessica asked, you shake your head no and angela repeats herself. “as i was saying, this boy… andrew.. what’s his last name again?” she asked the girls, “andrew jones?” bella answers. “oh right! andrew jones! anyway, he was asking me for your phone number. he wanted to ask you out!” angela tells you and her and jessica squeal in excitement. you felt weird though, going on a date while you’re with jasper? “oh come on, y/nnnnn! dont tell me that you’re thinking about that jasper again?” jessica rolls her eyes. “i am, dont you think it’ll be weird? going out with someone else while you have a —thing— with another person?” you state.

dumb love i love being stupid, dream of us in a year, maybe we’d have an apartment and you’d show me off to your friends at the pier.

“so? jasper did the same to you, with multiple girls. plus i thought you guys were clear on no attachment? remember? it’s just casual.” jessica argues. “she’s right y/n, you shouldnt settle for a casual fling.” angela agrees with her. you look at bella and she says “im with them on this one, y/n. im sorry but you have to be honest with yourself.” feeling bad for you. you nod your head and gave andrew a chance the next week.

i know “baby no attachment.” but we’re…knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out is it casual now?

jasper told you to meet him by his car because he “missed” you, and you reluctantly agreed. you couldnt stay away from him. he then opened the car door for you and same old story, he kisses you, you fight, he “makes it up to you” and you let it go, not wanting to argue any further.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

declining the cullen’s offer, you didn’t say why or explain your reason. you just told rosalie that you couldn’t come and she understood. but, bella accidentally mentioned it to edward and alice because alice told her that you were supposed to be there with them and bella mentioned you and your date. “what?! y/n’s going on a date???” alice squealed in excitement which grabbed everyone’s attention. “who’s going on a date?” emmett asks, which made rosalie and jasper look at the three of them. as alice was about to speak, bella cuts her off by saying “no one! alice just got excited, you know..” widening her eyes at alice to contain herself. “y/n is.. you know? the y/n that jasper has a fling with?” he sneers and bella nudges him rather aggressively and he groans. “i told you not to tell them, it was supposed to be a secret!” bella whispered-semi yelled. “oh.” was all edward said and smirked at jasper who seemed a bit mad but oh well, it’s just a casual fling.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual..

andrew gets out of his car and knocks on your front door with flowers in hand, your dad opens the door and he gulps. “hi sir, i’m here to take your daughter, y/n, out on a date. i promise that i’ll take good care of her and bring her home before 8pm. we will just be going out, to the theatre, nothing else. we will be watching (your favourite movie) and after that, i’ll bring her straight home.” he offers your dad a smile and your dad is taken aback by this and hesitantly lets you go with him. before you leave he gives andrew a strict look and tells him “before 8.” and closes the door.

you and andrew had so much fun, he asked if he could kiss you on your cheek and you agreed. you asked him questions about himself and he answered them quite nicely and he let you speak about your interests. before escorting you to your doorstep at 7:48… he opens your car door for you. “let’s do this again sometime? i’ll see you on monday y/n.” he smiles at you and kisses your hand. he walks to his car but doesnt leave until you got inside safely. you were daydreaming about him a lot now, he was so dreamy. you thought. he was a gentleman and from what it looks like, he’s the perfect match for you. he treats you the way you want to be treated… but..

if its casual now then baby get me off again, if it’s casual…

andrew picks you up more frequently after your first date, he became your ride to school the past few days and you guys had talked back to back, jamming to your favorite songs… you never experienced this with jasper. when you both arrive, he opens the car door for you and almost everyone at school stops to look at you both. even the cullens.

“oh my god.” angela says in shock. she’s happy for you and andrew. she’s proud of herself because this was her doing.

“no way!!” jessica exclaimed. “bella are you seeing this?” she calls, the three girls smiled at you as you and andrew walk up to them.

what you didn’t notice was, jasper looking at you both. more like glaring into your souls. if he was alive, his blood would be boiling right now.

FLASHBACKS:

its hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser.

he unclips your bra while making out with you, both of you shirtless and his lips start tracing your neck and chest, he throws your favourite bra on the floor, discarding every piece of clothing you two had on. he couldnt wait to feel you again.

it’s hard being casual when im on the phone talking down your sister.

alice wanted your help on throwing a party, she called you because she was in distress about it. “i cant think properly y/n! it just seems like something is missing!” alice exaggerates as she rambles about what theme or what color she was going to use for the party.

definitely casual. you think to yourself.

i try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space.

“it’s not fair jasper! you’ve been going out with girls, you were seen last night by MY friends! do you not know how embarrassing that is for me?” you yell at him not being able to take it anymore. “baby… baby… calm down. they were nothing. look, i dont know why you’re acting up again, i thought you agreed? casual? honey?” he reminds you.

i try to be the chill girl but honestly im not.

“what the fuck? that’s all you have to say?” you couldnt hold off your anger anymore and opened the car door and you left. jasper chased after you, “baby… come on… i’ll make it up to you, i promise.” he tries to convince you, being the pathetically inlove girl you were, you agreed.

knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out.

same old, same old. his fingers play with your skirt and adjusting your underwear so he could insert his two fingers inside you. you moan at this and he begins to fasten his fingers’ pace, making you cry out his name. he kisses your thighs and removes his hands, replacing them with his mouth.

END OF FLASHBACK!

two weeks and your mom invites me to her long beach house.

“oh hi, y/n! we weren’t expecting guests…” esme trails off, looking at you and jasper. “hi mrs. cullen, no worries, i was just passing by.” you greet her with a smile and she smiles back. “well, do you wanna maybe stay for dinner? we’re having italian..” she offers you and you look at jasper who nods at you, well.. how could you refuse? you smile at esme.

i know what you tell your friends.

“wow jasper, that was unexpected.” rosalie jokes, “what is?” jasper asks. “the way you let her stay for dinner!” emmett adds snickering at jasper. they all know that he’s falling for her. jasper ignores their comments and went up to his room, where you were sitting on a chair, with a box full of your stuff that you’ve left behind. jasper had a plan, he wanted to talk to you and make it official before andrew beats him to it. he wanted to let you know how much he cherished and needed you.. he agreed to give back your stuff, but he wasn’t giving up without a fight.

baby get me off again.

“baby, what’re you doin’ there?” he notices you checking your stuff, polaroids and letters you’ve sent to him that he never bothered to open. “nothing, jasper. just checking.” slightly cringing at the nickname. he reaches for your hand and pulls you closer to him, making you stand up. he leans closer to you and you pull away, “what are you playing at, jasper?” you ask him and you laugh at his attempt. realizing that he isnt joking, you feel annoyed. “stop. dont even start.” you spoke. “start what baby?” he asks innocently. “dont.” you said sternly. he pulls you closer and kisses you, you melt in his touch. you know that it isnt right, you know that this is not what you should want… but you cant stop.

i fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner..

(you guys didnt fuck okay, just kissed)

you got the strength to pull away and push him off. “whats wrong, darlin’?” he asks. “stop it jasper. im with andrew, i cant do this. i came here to get my stuff back and end things. i cant do this anymore.” you told him. “baby, we can talk about this.. please. i need you.” he responded. before he could do anything else, you walk away.

your parents at the table..

esme and carlisle hear you and jasper walking down and as esme was about to update you on the cooking, you bid your goodbye. “im sorry mrs. cullen, i have to take a raincheck… thankyou though.it was nice of you to think about me.” you say in a rush. carlisle and esme found this unusual. “well.. atleast bella and edward are on their way.. no food went to waste.” carlisle spoke.

you wonder why im bitter,

jasper runs after you and he pleads for you to talk to him. “baby please. i was dumb to ever think that this was only casual. i dont want this to end, please. dont go with him. i’ll treat you right, i’ll treat you better.” he says while holding onto you.

bragging to your friends i get off when you hit it,

shaking your head, you dont say anything, it seems like you’re lost for words at the moment and you break his hold on you, running to your car as fast as you can and starting it. jasper stands still, if he had a heart, it would be breaking right now. he feels regret, and heartbroken.

i hate to tell the truth but im sorry dude you didnt.

driving off, you finally felt free.

jasper on the other hand, he felt frozen in time. wondering why he took you for granted. wondering why time is such a pain.

i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself. i hate that i let this drag on so long, you can go to hell.

part two?

[livelaughlovetojiii]

Imagine Stepdad!Jake fucking reader after she flirted with other boys again but this time she threatens her to actually get her pregnant so everyone knows she is his

PRAISE THE LORDDDDDD.

hell yes.

it was a great day. the clan was celebrating, everyone was dancing, drinking and over all having fun. you were drunk and honestly had no clue what you were doing. you were dancing with a boy your age. your hips pushes flush against his pelvis and your back against his chest his hands help your hips as you swayed from side to side feeling each other up. in that moment there wasn’t a care in the world. nothing could stop you. or so you thought. as you and the boy danced and laughed he suddenly stops confused by him stopping you turn around to look at him “what is wrong?” you ask and he doesn’t answer you turn back around and look forward. jake. he was just standing there arms crossed. angry look on his face as he made direct eye contact with the boy. you knew you were in trouble. you sigh and walk forward to jake “what’s your problem?” you whisper but he doesn’t answer he just grabs your wrist and starts to drag you back home. “let me go jake! let me go!” you trip over your words still drunk. jake let’s you go inside and still hasn’t said a word to you. he turns around getting you some water. as you watch his back you cross your arms and pout. jake turns around handing you the water “drink up princess” he hands you the water and sits back down on the cot. he wasn’t mad? you thought how wasn’t he mad? you sit next to him and put a hand on his thigh “daddy i’m sorry.. i didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off completely changing the subject “drink the water you’re gonna need it.” he doesn’t even look at you. you furrow your eyebrows and try again “daddy just listen to me-” but he still doesn’t let you finish “drink. your water. you’re gonna need it.” he says again sternly.

you look away from him and sigh finishing your water. you set it on the small wooden table next to the cot. jake gets up and stands in front of you kicking your legs open with his knee so he can stand in between them. he cups your chin making you look all the way up at him. your big sweet eyes boring into his. “you know better.” is all he says “you know fucking better.” he says again. his eyes angry “lay down” he says pushing you back. you don’t even hesitate to fix yourself on the cot because you were gonna do exactly what he wanted to get his anger out. fuck.

as he lays in front of you he grips your hips and pulls you forward.

your body is still on the cot but your ass is on his thighs. he makes eye contact with you as he’s taking off your loincloth “you thought it’d be cute huh?” he says as he aggressively throws your loincloth somewhere in the room. “daddy no i’m sor-” you try and protest but soon realize he’s not even listening. he’s staring at your pretty little pussy. he spreads your legs further. on hand on your left ankle and the other on your pussy. his thumb rolls your clit in small circles and then moves it down to your slit, he gently moves his thumb from your clit all the way to your hole over and over again. teasing you. your head falls back as your hole clenches around nothing “daddy please..” you whine but obviously he doesn’t listen but he does stop. that causes you to look at him as he’s licking your juices off his thumb and puts his hands on your hips. he reaches behind him with one hand and untied his loincloth and throws it. his cock was hard and it looked like it hurt. he puts his hand out in front of your mouth “spit.” he says staring at you. you gather up the spit in your mouth and let it fall down into his hand. he takes the spit and strokes his cock with it. mixing the pre-cum and your spit together.

he grips your hip with one hand and guides his cock into your sopping folds with the other. as he buries his cock into you he lets a groan “fuckkkk, who’s pussy is this?” he says moving at a slow pace “it’s yours daddy” you moan as you throw you head back but as you rest it back jake grips the back of your hair and forces it up so you look at him, his hand falls down to your neck and he grips that but he doesn’t stop there. he takes his other hand and puts it over that hand. both of his hands on your neck now. he starts ramming into you at a fast pace “daddy!” you scream as your eyes slam shut and your mouth falls open.

tears prick in your eyes as you clench down hard on his cock. he hits your sweet spot over and over again making you sob. “aw my sweet little girl can’t take it?” he coos at you. you shake your head “daddy i can’t!” your legs trembled as he fucking into your cunt. “what if i get you pregnant baby? hmm how you feel? everyone would know that you’re a little slut for your stepdad huh?” he says groaning in your ear. you sob as you cum on his cock “daddy i’m sorry! no don’t please! i’ll be a good girl!” you beg and cry as he pulls out and finishes himself shooting his load on your stomach. you sigh out in relief. “c’mere baby” he says softly pulling you in. you lay your head against his chest “i’m sorry” you say, your voice raspy. “it’s okay baby just don’t do it again yeah?” you nod “never again daddy” you say looking at him with puppy dog eyes

“that’s my good girl” he chuckles.

IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR STEP!DAD JAKE MY GODDDD. hope y’all enjoy 😰

[armored-angel4798]

2023

Steve knew, the moment he saw Eddie’s first message that he wasn’t going to like what they had to say.

EdM0112: Are you busy?

KingSteve: no, why?

EdM0112: I have some silly little news to give you. It’s nothing bad!

KingSteve: what is it? Wait, let me guess, YOU’RE PREGNANT!

EdM0112: hahaha, no, nothing like that.

KingSteve: so what?

EdM0112: I am engaged!

KingSteve: oh, really? That’s Great!!!

It was, in fact, not great. Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest felt so, unbelievably heavy and tears started pouring, unbidden, down his cheeks. Robin. He needed Robin, she would know how to help him. She helped him the last time his pesky feelings came out of the hole he had buried them in.

See, Eddie and Steve had never been good together. Steve was well aware of this fact, thanks to endless hours of talking to Robin. They were teenagers when they first got together, and neither of them had any clue how a relationship should work. Eddie was figuring themself out and they weren’t comfortable with Steve’s easy affection or deep wells of devotion and love. Steve had been too much. He had loved much too hard and much too fast and it ran Eddie away. They had never been good at the communication side of the relationship either. They were never on the same page or even in the same book most of the time. Yet, none of this had stoped Steve from giving his heart to Eddie. None of this made him think for even a millisecond that they couldn’t figure it out, that they couldn’t be together, that they wouldn’t be together forever.

Steve had always thought that he would be the one putting a ring on Eddie’s finger. Until Eddie handed his heart back to him in a million tiny pieces.

2019

“Eddie, please. I love you, Eddie.”

“Steve, we aren’t good for each other, can’t you see that? We haven’t done anything other than hurt one another this whole past year of dating.”

“You don’t have to do this Eddie! I can be better, I can be whatever you need me to be, just please don’t leave me.”

“Steve, the fact that you don’t see how fucked up that is only solidifies that this isn’t good for either of us.”

Steve was sobbing. He was sobbing and Eddie was mad at him. He just needed to know what he was doing wrong. He could fix it. He had to fix it. If Eddie left it would just prove what his parents had always shown him. He is unloveable. He is never good enough. Never strong enough. Never caring enough. Never enough. He just wanted to be enough.

“Steve, this has to be over. For both of us.” Eddie sounded so exasperated. So tired.

Steve nodded, still sobbing.

“I’m… I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy, Eddie. I’m sorry. Please, I love you.”

“And I’m sure I will always love you, but I’m leaving. I have to go. I can’t be myself here, Steve.” Eddie was whispering now, running their cool hand down Steve’s cheek. Steve watched Eddie’s tears roll down their own cheeks as they wiped his away. “I’ll still be just a phone call away, but I have to move on.”

Steve grabbed Eddie’s wrist and nodded. Giving up hurt worse than anything but he couldn’t keep causing Eddie pain. He couldn’t keep them here if they would be unhappy and anything other than wholly themself. Eddie moved across the country that day and never looked back.

2023

Steve isn’t really sure when he called Robin, but he apparently did because she was here. She was picking him up off of the floor that he had sank to, his phone still on the couch cushion behind him.

“Hey, hey, Steve” she patted his cheeks and he blinked. “There you are. What happened Stevie? You called but never said a word so I came to check on you. You don’t look good. Why are you crying?”

Steve brought his own hand up to his cheek, it came back wet.

“Eddie is getting married.”

“Woah, okay. I didn’t even know they were dating anybody.”

“Me either” Steve whispered.

“And how are you handling this information?” Steve gave her a glare that he’s sure lost some of its sterns by his no doubt puffy eyes. “Yeah, so not great.” Steve snorted. “Do ya want to talk about it.”

“I thought I was done with this. I thought I had moved past it. Why? Why did I break the moment they told me that they were engaged.”

“I’ve gotta be honest here, Steve, the situation you put yourself in wasn’t the best. You knew Eddie was moving on. They told you they were. You never really let them go. You stayed close and kept your own hopes up. This just crushed them.”

Steve flopped his head over on her shoulder.

“Why cant you be my therapist, again?”

“Conflict of interest, babe. I would be too clouded by my love for you to give you the advice you need.”

“It’s never stopped you before.” Robin chuckled and ruffled his hair. “I don’t think I ever actually let myself work through my heartbreak. I just kind of shoved it down far enough that it wasn’t a problem to keep talking to Eddie as if they’d never broken my heart. I still wanted them to be my best friend. Eddie knows me better than almost anyone, besides you, and it felt harder to lose that than to bury my feelings.”

“Yeah, you’ve buried more than you would ever let anyone you love even think of going through. Don’t you think you’ve held on to enough? Just let it go, Steve. It’ll be okay. I’ll be here.”

“You won’t leave me too?” Steve’s voice sounded so so small, even to himself.

“Never.”

And Steve broke.

[qqueenofhades]

Do you think part of what makes people feel like voting isn’t worth it because things don’t get better under democrats is because we can’t see what would have happened? Like I see a lot of people saying “well biden hasn’t made america much better so there’s no point” but it’s like they don’t understand that under a republican they would actively do everything they could to cause more harm. It’s like they don’t understand that 1. The president can’t do much, and 2. IT WOULD BE WORSE. like they don’t understand the possibilities. Idk people just frustrate me

I'm sorry, as I know you're just relaying what these people think and not claiming so yourself, but the whole "things don't get better under Biden/Democrats" line to which we are subjected so very, miserably often is a lie!!! It is demonstrably a lie! It is peddled by people who deliberately live in their echo-chamber leftist misinformation bubbles and either don't read the news, don't accept anything less than the Magical Socialist Revolution Now, and don't think partial or incremental progress (aka the only kind of progress that exists) is valid. "Biden hasn't single-handedly fixed everything wrong with America and the world after the most damaging presidency ever to exist and 250+ years of flaws, while other countries actually are their own actors with agency making complex choices, so we shouldn't vote for him" is a bullshit lie and I'm tired of it!!!

(Again. Sorry. This is not directed at you. This is just my frustration with this entire ridiculous situation speaking.)

We have had multiple elections now where people voted for Democrats, which resulted in abortion protections, protections for LGBTQ people, the biggest climate legislation ever to pass Congress/be signed into law (the Inflation Reduction Act), vast improvements in the job market, executive actions both large and small, improvements in labor and the economy, a general democratic system, a defense of the rule of law, a warning against fascism, and everything else that Trump trampled on in 4 years and will finish the job of doing if this godforsaken country is either right-wing-zealot or left-wing-zealot enough to put him back into office. (Like, people. Google is free. You're welcome to look up the improvements Biden has actually made, but that would harm your Narrative.) So much of this misinformation is also peddled by people who are proud that they don't have a clue how the American government works and/or deliberately lie about it: see all the claims that it was Biden's fault for not magically stopping a Trump-stacked SCOTUS, selected for the express purpose of overturning Roe, from overturning Roe. Because the president could just unilaterally overturn the Supreme Court with no problems at all if He Really Wanted To, I guess. Even if that is literally not the way it has ever functioned in history.

All the noxious Republicans in state legislatures passing anti-trans/anti-abortion/anti-voting laws ARE NOT SOMETHING BIDEN CAN STOP. If you're going to criticize him for not doing something, for God's sake at least make it for something he can do (like not calling for a ceasefire in Gaza, though I would argue he's already taking a more nuanced approach than the entirety of the American establishment during the War on Terror). And then vote for him when/if he follows it up, not just throw your hands in the air and scream about how you Can't Possibly Sully Yourself (especially when there is some very selective support going on here and a deliberate white-washing of how many orders of magnitude worse absolutely everything else in America and the world would be under Trump. So.)

I'm tired of it. I'm really, really tired of it. I've been trying to cut back on my politics posting because my mental health is bad right now and I often feel like a broken record screaming into the void. But. Yeah. Anyway. Whoof.

[urapunk]

(TW; mentions of self harm and vomiting.)

A Gary Smith writing that I made, and'll probably make more of.

People Dont Consider Me a Tradgedy And I Wish They Did

It's funny how alike he is to Petey. He's no different, he gnaws his nails quietly in class and listens to conversations around him because its embarrassing to start a conversation other than being the one spoken to. But thats a lie. He's just nervous and it tastes bittersweet and disgusting in his mouth like straight syrup.

But he cant even get better. He just cant. And so in the back of the ambulance with his snapped arm and new cuts from glass, he found himself crying. Crying for once. He's going to be fixed up and.. And well.. Sent away. Three months they said. Thats an entire summer. A summer in a looneyhouse and then its right back to the hell of bullworth if his grandpa decides to offer enough money. Those same faces. Those same, disgustingly familiar faces that he knows are staring. They're always looking, looking and looking and looking.

The EMT can see the cuts lacing his arms up and down until they get to his upper arm, because they feel even worse there and he doesnt hate himself so much as to make it sting even worse.

But he still does it. Theres atleast 12 cuts on his upper arm and they were all from really bad times. Times he's repressed and forgotten, times that make him want to rip his arm off and grow a new one, times that make him vomit from the anxiety of them happening again.

The lights are so bright in the roof of this death van. They hurt his eyes so bad, and he's sure his ankle is broken or wrist is shattered. He doesnt even know its his arm yet. Why didnt he just get Jimmy kicked out instead? Did he have to take over bullworth? Couldnt he just... Couldnt he just talk.

But he doesnt know how. He babbles like a small child when it comes to his stupid emotions because what are they. They all feel the same, his heart races, his face contorts, and thats it. Thats only how it feels and it will never feel different, and thats only the literal sense. They can either make him feel like hes driving a bumpy road or they can feel like his guts are spilling out so disgustingly in his lap.

It doesnt stop, and when they give him a therapist in happy volts itll still be the same. His therapist would ask him questions, like 'what caused this for you,' or 'why'd you do it?'...

'Why'd you do it?'

'Why'd you do it gary!'

And thats when he let out a loud, frustrated groan of pain.... He couldnt hear the sirens. Where had the sirens gone? Why couldnt he hesr the ambulance that he was in-?

He noticed he was wrong. He wasnt in it. He was now in a hospital bed, light beaming through the curtains and illuminated the cast on his right arm.

The cast. The cast that would restrict him. He was restricted now. Restriction is a bitter word. He doesn't like it because it specifically restricts him. Restrict, restrict, restrict.

It hit him that he had just woken up. He disnt remember falling asleep, maybe they out him out because he was writhing too much or- crying. Did he cry? Was he crying? He shouldnt have been crying. But nevermind that. He had obviously woken up from something frustrating him and he had no clue what it was. Maybe its best he doesnt remember.

It wasnt much longer in the day when he was checked into happy volts. He felt sluggish, and he quickly recognized the disgusting, stomach churning 'calm' of medication. His therapists all said the same things throughout those 3 months. Each time he was first meeting them he'd do a survey; with one question that stumped him every time, not matter how many times it was explained. 'Are panic attacks frequent? On a scale of one to 10, how bad do your attacks get?'

What is a panic attack. His therapists all just gave him the same answer, but he was searching for one that really set it up in him. He underatood it, a little, but it was like the knowledge of the ocean. It has fish and is very deep; it's emotional and very scary.

The thin mattress he slept on was annoying, and he couldnt tell if it made his slouch better or worse. He didnt have to wear one of those stupid gowns, they gave him a nice blue sweatshirt and white sweatpants with...

Grippy socks.

It made him want to die the amount of times he tried to slide down the hall only to remember, these arent normal socks. They have GRIP to them. He'd nearly fallen a less than safe amount of times. He couldnt even be childish, he had to be reduced to a 'calm' medicated zombie that felt sick all the time.

The clothes were comfortable though, the bed was.. Okay, but the showers were awful. He didnt feel clean. It never got hot enough to help him feel soft and fuzzy.

And it reminded him that he'd never wipe away the punches thrown at him over the years.

But that was for his therapist to hear, only because she was paid to. He's talk to his grandpa when he got home, but.. His grandpa wouldnt want to hear that. He wouldnt want to hear about how his grandson fought more than he should. That his grandsontried to take over the school and broke his arm in the process, that he fought ontop of bulworth academy and his last name would be slandered now. They shared nothing but the word Smith sometimes.

When he finally got out his grandpa had brought him clothes to change unto before leaving, a soft white tshirt and black cargo jeans, and a dark green jacket. He loved that jacket so much. It was like the perfect shade, the color that was the embodiment of gary! When he finally settled in the car he noticed his grandfather gripped the wheel angrily.

"So why'd you do it Fish?"

'Why'd you do it?'

'WHY'D YOU DO IT GARY!'

That made him wanna hurl. He couldnt stop thinking of Jimmy when anyone asked, but hearing it from his grandpa was sickening. Especially with the nickname he had aince a boy. He always loved aquariums and fish and all to do with fishing, so papa called him Fish, or just... Gary.

His grandpa was met with silence... And it did worry him. A little bit. But there wasnt room for worrying about gary now.

"Fish, tell me." He wasnt spitting venom out alongside his words, but more like a bittersweet syrupy medicine thats overly sweetened, the kind you'd take as a child and wanna throw up after.

"I dont know."

...