#//am not doing too well today so the gimmicks are just.

[ena-shinonome-official]

Magic Anon time!!

You are now floating in mid air and cant come down!

...can you please undo that?

[simpjaes]

666 ― S.JY

When does an interest in the supernatural become unnatural? You’d say right around the time a spirit told you to write his name with your own….body fluids

minors dni! | reblog to summon a hot demon

WORDCOUNT― 4.8k

PAIRING― demon!Jake x reader (ft. boyfriend Sunghoon)

CONTENT― Jake the jealous demon and is also a massive cocky asshole, reader the instigator. made up sex magic, Jake is A VERY horny demon. sunghoon also wants demon jake. peep the smut tags lol

WARNINGS ― infidelity but like ur cheating with a sex demon so, some instances could be mistaken for manipulation

NOTE― this is a halloween fic that i forgot about that i wrote for haechan on my other blog ncteez. if you’re one of the few who actually read this before, just know that I am the same person!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― cock mimicking (demon fucks you with your boyfriend’s cock), forked tongue play, finger fucking, ghostly foreplay, HUGE MASSIVE COCK PENETRATION, mind reading, horns react to touch the same way a cock does ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You've always been into halloween, Sunghoon just thought it was a cute little quirk of yours. Until he started dating you and realized that...it's not just halloween that you're into. It's just a general list of things that would be considered disturbing on any other month that isn't october.

Deities, spirits, ghouls, demons, bones, death, blood.

He's supportive, of course. October is one of the months you're allowed to openly enjoy these things, because everyone pretends to like them too at this time of year. Temporary stores open up to sell the congealed fake blood, ouija boards are moved to the outside aisles of retail stores, and of course, everything is on sale.

This is great for Sunghoon because, as your boyfriend, he knows you celebrate the month of halloween more than you celebrate your own birthday, and the gifts can be plentiful.

Lately, you've been more interested in spirit work too, so when he's on his way home from work to see you, stopping by one of those chaotic halloween stores to grab a fancy, way too expensive if not on sale ouija board? It was a given.

Anything to see that cute smile on your face.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Well. The ouija board miiiiiight have been a mistake on his part.

Knowing next to nothing on spirit work, he wasn't expecting a board game sold in children's stores to actually pick anything up for you. Yet, night after night when he comes home, you approach him with a tight hug, an excited smile, and stories of which spirit gave you their name this time.

You, on the other hand, claim to know more about spirit work than you actually do. You did not expect to get any type of response either, especially in this pristine apartment that you assume no one has died in yet.

You learned fast though. Research, research, research.

"Today I learned that spirits aren't actually trapped in one space like all the ghost movies try to say. They might be connected but they can freely come and go." You smile against Sunghoon as he settles himself on the couch, freshly showered after work.

"You really like playing with that thing, huh?" He smiles back, still believing in the shallowness of it all, when it comes to corporate companies selling boards for people to "connect with loved ones".

Nodding to him, you stand up and look at him expectantly.

"Do you wanna try?"

He's reluctant at first. As much as he supports you and your interests, they aren't his.

He's great at humoring you though. Amazing, even.

"Yeah, why not?" He smiles, standing to his tired feet and following you into the bedroom.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"Two fingers on both hands," You quietly guide him on how to use it. "If you're not comfortable asking questions, I can do it."

Sunghoon nods casually, still not quite believing in the gimmick but loving the way you're so passionate.

"I don't mind asking, can I try?"

You frown, knowing exactly what will happen when he does.

"Yeah, of course!" You turn your frown into something unreadable, hoping that the same spirit you've been talking to is off at some middle school party switching the lights to get a kick out of it.

Then, there's silence. The candle's flame that you had previously lit bounces in the still air, indicating that tonight is already primed for the various spirits you've willingly accepted into your space.

"Uh," Sunghoon suddenly feels awkward, speaking out to nothing in the room when you're right in front of him, watching him. "Hello?"

You snicker at his awkwardness, knowing that you felt it too.

"Is there anything–anyone– here tonight? We'd like to talk."

Here's the thing. From the moment you started fucking with this oujia board, you never watched your words. You assumed that using proper grammar when speaking wouldn't matter much, considering they're dead and all. You keep it respectful, of course, but...

Anything being in your apartment is a huge difference compared to anyone.

The anythings tend to make a run for it, and the anyones are forced to stay away from the dangerous energy you're unintentionally inviting.

Speaking of the anythings, there's a regular. If your frown from moments ago is anything to go by. A vulgar spirit which you know as nothing more than "Jae".

Jae, the spirit, claims to be in his twenties, slides the planchette with just your fingers on it to numbers and letters with ease, and also is very fond of sarcasm, apparently.

The last time you spoke with this specific spirit, it ended it you asking him if he left any loved ones behind when he died. The board said yes, Jae said yes.

He claimed to be male, he claimed to have died ten years ago, and claims to have been in love.

And when you tried to relate, speaking of your boyfriend, saying your boyfriend's name, the spirit stopped responding. In fact, the board flew straight across your room as you spoke of Sunghoon.

Arguably, you were thrown off and only a little bit afraid. You definitely weren't the one who swiped the board off your bed, letting it hit your wall.

Which is why, while inviting Sunghoon to try the board, you hope that said spirit is off doing other things.

Which he's not.

Sunghoon's eyes nearly roll when he feels the planchette pull, dragging to the word of "yes" after you spoke out after his awkward greeting.

"You're pulling it, right?"

You ignore him, already locked in and staring at the board.

"Can you give me your name?" You whisper, now glancing up to Sunghoon and waiting for the planchette to move again.

It does, straight to the "J", and as it continues, you lift your hands out of discomfort, unintentionally proving to your boyfriend that you're not moving it.

"A" Sunghoon whispers as he stares in disbelief, feeling his hands move against the ghostly board. "E."

And when the planchette stops, he looks at you.

"Why'd you let go?" He says, glancing between both you and the board. "This is insane!" A smile.

You can see the same excitement you had the first time it moved for you, but the fact that the same spirit is back, after rudely throwing your board across the room at the mere mention of Sunghoon is a bit worrisome.

"Jae?" Sunghoon calls out, now feeling the adrenaline in his blood push past the anxiety of talking to nothing. "How did you die?"

"Sunghoon! You can't just ask him that!"

"Him?" Sunghoon side eyes you. "What makes you think it's a guy?"

You avoid eye contact.

"Well," You tick your tongue. "He's kind of told me like, two weeks ago. Plus, that’s a dude’s name."

Sunghoon laughs, making jokes. This is harmless. This is fun.

"Oh?" Sunghoon tilts his head, lifting his fingers to encourage you to place yours back against the planchette too. "Jae, have you been flirting with my girlfriend?"

It was a joke of a question, and quite disrespectful in your mind for him to ask such a thing, but the way the planchette moves to "yes" has you sweating, and kind of, smiling.

A spirit, jealous of Sunghoon? Not something you had on your bingo card for the year.

"So you think I'm pretty?" You smile, avoiding your boyfriend's eye and watching the planchette move over to "no".

Your smile falls, and the planchette moves again.

"H."

"O."

"T."

You actually cannot explain the warmth inside of you. Flirting with a ghost, while your boyfriend participates? Hilarious scenario, surely Sunghoon isn't taking this seriously.

"You're moving it now, there's no way some dead guy is coming after my girl." Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head.

The planchette responds, moving to "no."

"Alright, stop fucking around." Sunghoon narrows his eyes at you. "A spirit wouldn't take the energy to contact us just to call you hot."

The planchette responds again, moving to the letter "B."

"Take your hands off again, there's no way." He seems more concerned this time.

"I."

"T."

"C."

"H."

Sunghoon's mouth falls open.

"Who are you calling a bitch? Me, or my very hot girlfriend that you can't have?"

"Y."

"O."

And as the planchette makes it way over to the "u" Sunghoon lifts his hands and glares at every empty space around the room.

"He just called me a bitch." Sunghoon rolls his eyes. "There is a spirit in this room, who thinks i'm a bitch."

You laugh uncomfortably, and he laughs more casually.

"Well, that was fun, I guess." Sunghoon continues, standing to his feet as you cross your fingers that the board wont go flying into his head. "I'm gonna go take a shower then."

He kisses you gently on the forehead and leaves you alone in the room where, obviously, you're still not alone.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Days pass and Halloween draws closer as you are both drawn to and forcing yourself away from the ouija board.

Something calls you to it. Whispers of your name when Sunghoon isn't home, feather light touches that raise your skin, nightmares, but your gut tells you to stay away.

Can you though? Can you really resist such a strange happening?

Of course not.

Spirit work is fun, but you can't help but wonder if this entity is a spirit at all. Out of all the research, people rarely get more than one to two answers during a session of Ouija. This Jae thing seems to hold a lot of energy, an entire personality, and the ability to haunt you in a way that makes you feel weirdly.......safe?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"Jae, are you here?" You call out in the early morning, the oujia board tucked safely under your bed as you lay there.

Your curtains move as if the window is open.

"The dream I had last night, was that you?" You continue to speak into the void, allowing it to speak back.

Except it doesn't speak back, it touches. You feel your ankle being tugged, as you scoot down the bed.

Most people would scream. Most people would call a priest. Most people wouldn't want to be alone with it. Then again, you're not most people.

You laugh, scooting yourself back up on the bed.

"I wish I could see what you really look like. In my dreams, you're just a shadow."

Another tug, and then the oujia board goes sliding out from under your bed, indicating that he wants to communicate better with you.

You take the bait, lying the board out with your sleepy eyes and drowsily smiling at the empty space in front of you.

Before you can even place your hands on the planchette, it's moving.

"S"

"U"

"M"

"M"

"O"

"N"

You should probably be running for the hills after that, but you don't. You sit, still drowsy.

"How would I manage to do that?"

"S"

"L"

"E"

"E"

"P"

And for some reason, you do. Instantly, you go back to sleep. Despite waking up without an alarm, the drowsy feeling stayed throughout your morning conversation with the spirit in your apartment. Dozing off came easy, with the oujia board still in front of you.

And there, you dream despite knowing that the sun is hitting your face as you sleep. You can feel the warmth of it in the dream as a creature, no, a man, approaches you in an empty expanse of fog.

In your dream, you cannot speak despite trying to. No voice comes out, but the man speaks smoothly, fuzzy and distorted face slowly untwisting itself into that of an actual man.

That's him. You can feel it through your heavy sleep, your hairs raising both in the astral realm and in your waking body.

"You want to summon me?" The man asks, smiling at you in a heavenly way. "You have to say my full name."

You can't speak back, but he continues.

"You have to be alone, though others can still join if the door is open. On both ends."

You stand, listening to his echoed voice through the fog.

"If you want me in the physical form, you have to do something physical for me." He continues, stepping closer and closer until his body is nearly going through you. "Say my name each time you're pleasured, and write my name against your skin with the mess of it."

You quirk a brow, and the form in front of you smiles.

"What? You thought I'd let you summon me for anything else? I've been here for thousands of years."

You thought he died ten years ago.

"Angel pussy only gets so tight, you know."

Vulgar. Yet, your physical body is tingling. Angel pussy? Is he an angel? From a religion you don't even believe in?

He notes the confusion on your dreaming face.

"You see me now, my face, if you want to feel me too, you'll do as I say." His dreamed up voice is something you know you've never heard before. His face, someone you've never seen.

You know it's not possible to dream of a physical person you've never seen, and he's so clear to you at this moment. Practically feeling his voice blow in your face.

His hair, messy, almost wet looking. His eyes are piercing, his lips, pretty.

You nod, and he smiles.

"And don't invite your boyfriend."

Then, you snap awake. Feeling as if you've just had the wettest of dreams.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Naturally, you listened to the figure in the dream, using every pleasurable mess your body makes to write his name on your skin. A name which came to you without him stating it at all in the dream.

Days go by, his name remains on your skin.

Halloween comes and, well, so does Sim Jaeyun. 

Finally.

October 30th, 11:59am is the last moment of your life where you'll be curious. October 31st, 12:00am is the first moment of your life where a ghostly touch became a real one.

You were awake, of course you were. And alone.

Sunghoon tends to spend the 30th with you, and the 31st with his parents, helping to tend to the haunted house his family likes to throw each year.

"You're alone?" You hear, whispered against your ear as you slouch against the couch.

The echoed voice is all to familiar, sending a shock through your body in an instant and you turn, only to see nothing.

"Jae?" You question into the air, glancing around the room.

A deep chuckle is heard in your other ear, and a cold feeling is felt against your cheek.

"Entirely alone?" The voice sounds out.

"I've done what you told me to do, and I still can't see you.”

"I know." The voice sounds further away now, and you follow it all too easily.

Straight into your room, you follow the whispers. You see the board get thrown again, and you tilt your head.

"You're upset?" You question to the emptiness, and you get no response at all until you feel it.

Ice cold pressure running from your ankles to the nape of your neck. Traveling up and down your body until you can barely stand the feeling of goosebumps refusing to go down.

Thunder. Lightening, and then the sound of raining rattling against your window.

You sigh at the new feeling, your legs moving on their own to your bed as you lay against it in a feeling of cold comfort.

"One more time." You feel the whisper before you truly hear it, a weight on your bed, a weight hovering over you. "Write my name."

The ice cold feeling strikes between your legs, instantly giving you the very material to do as he says. And you do, dipping your fingers between your legs in awe at the feeling of how fast you manage to get wet over this.

And there, you feel the weight against your hand, almost as if he's writing his name himself against your thigh.

And you wait.

and wait.

and wait, until....

"Close your eyes."

You do, not daring to open them until he says. You feel that ice cold energy leave, replaced with a searing hot feeling, something that makes you sweat, something that makes you shake.

You hear shuffling, you hear your bedroom door opening and closing, you hear mumbled whispers in a different language, and then you hear his voice in real space. Bouncing off your walls rather than being implied right up against your ear.

"Open your eyes."

You open them to your empty room sitting just as you left it, the air feeling neutral, the oujia board looking much less magical as it lays on the floor. Then you hear your door open. Instantly your eyes glance to the space there.

"It's you." You whisper out, looking him up and down, feeling overwhelmed, and quite frankly, astonished.

"Of course it's me, you summoned me." The figure smiles, looking nothing more than a man despite something being...off. Which is obvious, but still stirs your stomach uncomfortably.

"You're no spirit, are you?" You blurt, unsure of how rude it may seem to him.

"Oh no, clearly not." The figure looms over, taking visible strides towards you before holding his hand out to truly feel you for the first time. "I got you good though, didn't I?"

"What are you, then?" You question, ignoring that you've been writing his name on your skin day after day with the slick your orgasms produce.

"Does it matter? I'm only here physically for the night." He glares deeply at your questions. So willing to bring him here, but so unwilling to complete the other half of the deal that he, maybe, didn't expand on in previous communications.

You stare at him, still trying to process that the so-called spirit you were so excited to speak to before, is here, now, in flesh. With a voice, and a body that doesn't entirely appear to be breathing at all. He looks so human, so, so, human, yet so....not.

He doesn't falter at your reaction much longer though. It's been hundreds of years since he's managed to get a woman to call out for him in such a vulgar way. It was funny to him, really, looming in every corner watching you do as he instructed. Reading your mind when you're intimate with Sunghoon.

"Last night– you were thinking of me instead.." Jaeyun smiles warmly, uncaring of how strongly he comes off because opinions and thoughts are something he is well versed in.

He can read everything you're thinking, and you want it. He's gentle when he moves to you, claiming his spot hovering over you, staring down at your eyes. He never knew what it was like to look at someone, to cherish and love, even. He only knows how to look into and through a person.

"I did." You admit, unable to look away from him, unable to feel fear, or pretend that you want to squirm away from his weight loosely pinning you against the bed. "Were you always here? Watching?"

He nods with a smile.

"Quite pretty when you're writing my name," He comments, leaning down to lick against your bottom lip. "If only you knew what it all meant, in the grand scheme of things."

"Hm?" You try to question, feeling like you're in a trance by the way his tongue flicks out so quickly, satiating your entire body with just that single act.

"Six times." He breathes. "You did so well."

You sigh at the feeling of nothing, as he pulls his face back from yours. There's still a ghostly pressure against all of the right places, and he's very aware of it.

"I own you." He comments with a chuckle, moving his hand down your body to feel the wet he created with no effort at all. "You'll never be rid of me."

You find....great pleasure in that. He knows you do. Even if he couldn't read every thought behind your eyes, the way your body moves toward his hand is enough to go by.

Humans, so desperate. So obsessed with praise, so...selfish. Just like him. Time and time again, he will grow bored of the sex other realms offer. It doesn't matter how many forms of fog he can get his claws on. Becoming human, being with a human, it sears hotter for him.

Makes him hotter. Makes him feel like the god who damned him.

"I'm a demon, babe." He laughs, now effectively thrusting two fingers into you and enjoying the way you seethe out at the heat he can't help but emit.

Deep down, you knew. You accepted it. You brought him here, you kept him here. You simply don't care. Otherworldly beings are meant to give curiosity. Who cares if you gave in? You didn't know where your everlasting soul would end up anyway, at least now you know that it'll end up with this....humanly thing who works his fingers like magic.

Because it is magic. Hellish magic.

"Is this what you always look like?" You ask, "Is this what you always sound like?"

The demon chuckles against your throat, fingers making little effort in the way it quite literally feels like you're already having the best sex of your human life.

"Does it matter? You gave yourself to me, I can be whatever you want me to be." He whispers out, licking against your naked skin.

That's right. Somehow, you're undressed. You felt no fabric, and you could honestly care less if he snapped them into the void.

You moan at the feeling, comprehending only slightly how his tongue went from flat and humanly to...forked. Two tips of his tongue, wrapped around your nipple, moving smoothly, wetly, hotly against you in a way that feels as blasphemous as it looks.

And when you reach up, on your very earthly instinct to grip his hair, you're met with a pair of curled horns.

You moan again, and he chuckles, knowing that this is for your pleasure, not his own quite yet.

"You can touch them." He insists, sliding his fingers out of you and writing his name again against your thigh, essentially sealing the contract you already agreed to. "You'll have no choice but to hold on to them later."

You, for some reason, take that promise as if it is seared into your fate. Forever damned to take hold of a demon's horns, forever blessed to be fucked by him.

"I like that thought," the demon chuckles with a second voice, seemingly penetrating your thoughts more than the place between your legs right now. "Blessed." He smiles, tongue long as it remains against your nipple and yet, he still is able to lift up to make eye contact with you. "Cute."

You're so entranced by the happenings in this moment, that Sunghoon seems...lesser. He feels like the past to you, as you feel and experience a hellish hand, and a hellish tongue. Soon, possibly, to experience whatever kind of cock demons have.

"Lesser? Fitting." he comments straight into your thoughts with that second voice, soothing your ambitions of being anyone other than his. "and my cock..."

You listen so intently to that second voice, your body is burning up with pleasure. The way he continues to write his name on your skin somehow feels better than when his fingers were inside of you. All of it feels better than anything you've ever felt in your life.

"It can be more, can be less, can be bigger, smaller, doubled, tripled, and even..." His secondary voice pauses with a chuckle, "if you're into experimenting, i am and will be whatever body you're interested in being fucked by."

That...seems exciting.

And it is. Trading a human life for whatever the fuck this is seems like such a great idea. Entranced or not, you still have a mind of your own and it's one that wanted this. He knows it, you know it, and no one else needs to know it.

"That's right, work your little brain." He pulls back, leaving your nipples more than swollen while he uses his real voice. Raspy, vulgar, enticing. "You made this choice." He taunts, flattening his palm against your thigh and pressing your legs open, hooking one above his other leg and instantly sliding into you.

The moment he hears your thoughts, searing in the pain you summoned upon yourself, he smiles. He coos out, pitying the way you so willingly want this deal to be real. And oh, it's so real.

That pain you're feeling with the cock he perfected just for you. He knows what you want.

"Familiar?" He smiles wickedly against your neck, darting his tongue out to lick a searing heat against you.

You can barely think through the feeling of his cock practically morphing inside of you. The pain from before, with the large hardened length turning into that of something...not only familiar but, too familiar.

He's fucking you with Sunghoon's cock, and can't help but notice how much you fight against wanting anything other than that.

"Too familiar?" He repeats your thoughts, stretching you open more than you think you ever have been, as his cock becomes thicker, heavier, hotter. "So, mine will do then?"

You try to nod, but you're a bit busy trying to comprehend the fact that a demon cock is quite literally tearing you apart right now, on Halloween fucking night. How grossly cliche.

"We like gross though, don't we?" He smiles, pulling his length out only a bit, and feeling the way your pussy grips it as if you'd find a way to threaten him for not keeping you filled to the brim. "You like feeling like you're being split in half, don't you?"

You do nod this time, arms reaching up to his horns and squeezing tightly. He grunts at it, loving the feeling of someone touching on him while lying helpless beneath him. Such willpower you have, such willpower you don't want.

He feels what you feel, that pain? You love it. The warmth in his horns? Nearly pulsing against your palms at the pleasure of this act? You love that too.

"It's like you were made for the hells, babe." He comments snidely, pulling out, then pushing into you roughly. "Made just for me." He continues, claiming you, fucking you, all while knowing that you're already his. 

All while knowing that there's another person entering this apartment, and you're too far gone to pretend that this isn't temptation. It's willingful lust, and it's a deed you signed for.

"Weren't you?" His secondary voice demands that you respond with your voice rather than your thoughts, as he continuously stimulates your entire body through his own made up form.

"Weren't you?" He echoes again, real and secondary voice now filling your senses alongside the squeezing in your gut, your g-spot stimulated by a demon cock seemingly built for doing just this. A body built for pleasure, a demon created for it.

"Weren't you?" He echoes through a seethed whisper, tongue darting out and between your lips, forcing an answer from you.

You wail out in pleasure, sheer lack of humanity showing through the sound. He loves the way you sob a "yes!" through amazement. Humans aren't meant to comprehend what he's doing to you, or what he will do to you.

Humans aren't meant to accept seeing either, yet, here comes Sunghoon. Sprinting to the room where he's just heard his beloved girlfriend scream.

Only to find you gripping onto a pair of pulsing horns. Legs spread wider for this creature than they ever were for him. A forked tongue looking as if it's sucking the life straight from your throat.

But those screams aren't from pain, Sunghoon sees it plainly.

The sound of a cock too big for you, pleasuring you. The grip you have on this creature, and the grip that creature has on you.

Sunghoon can't find it in him to even ask what the fuck is going on. He just stands there frozen, knowing you don't notice him there. Who would?!

The creature, makes eye contact.

"I tried to fuck her with your cock," It echoes out to him in a, almost apologetic voice and it sends shivers down his spine. "She needed more."

Sunghoon is still standing in the doorway of your bedroom. Frozen solid, his heart is racing as he watches that he's not only being cheated on but like, goddamn, with a fucking....thing?! Not even a person?

Your ears are ringing, sure you've orgasms a dozen times by now, both feeling all of it and not feeling any of it at all because the demon just keeps going. Listening to your every thought, cooing at each orgasm and willing more, more, more. Until he can trace his name six hundred and sixty six times into your skin. "You could be mine too, Sunghoon." The demon calls out, forcing his voice into the man's head, reading every thought, half-assed prayer, and unbelievable idea of trying to intervene. "I know you want to."

[existentialterror]

ARG notes: ZampanioSim

Okay, a work this metafictional and also that (I think) responds to audience interaction is going to need a high-caliber gimmick. Hang on.

...

Alright. Hey guys, catfishAnabasis (Light) here, taking a moment out of my surprisingly busy day tell you about a weird thing on the internet.

ZampanioSim is an intricate and brainbending ARG. It takes direct inspiration from Homestuck, The Magnus Archives, and House of Leaves, as well as the creator (JR, jadedResearcher/justifiedRecursion)'s previous canon of Homestuck fan-work and games. A major theme is "unreality".

HERE IS YOUR TRAILHEAD.

Feel free to ignore the rest of the writeup and check it out now.

I know very little about JR's other work, right now. However, among my many INTERESTS, I am something of a TMA ENJOYER and an AMATEUR INTERNET INVESTIGATOR, and if I were in a HOUSE I like to think I could LEAVE it pretty easily.

So, yeah. I figured I'd just describe my experience of this rabbithole and maybe you'll want to check it out too. I'm sure this will only scratch the surface.

ZampanioSim is structured as a nested labyrinth. In the same way that:

Homestuck is a webcomic framed as an interactive adventure game about an account of kids playing a video game (Sgrub) that doesn't exist, and

House of Leaves is a novel framed as a found scholarly discussion about a documentary (The Navidson Record) that doesn't exist about a house that doesn't exist,

ZampanioSim is a game-based ARG framed as an attempt to simulate a game (Zampanio) that doesn't exist based on a found FAQ of the game (that only sort of exists).

More concretely, ZampanioSim features a lot of nested browser games, as well as audio, narrative, an actual audience-interactive narrative game (the way Homestuck was originally), external websites, and more.

The starting point is, of course, the House:

ZampanioSim takes full advantage of the browser as medium. There is content accessible via the address bar, developer tools, cookies (I think), the developer console, and probably more that I haven't realized.

Like, to give you a sense of the kind of rabbithole we're dealing with: Here's a map I made of the House outset page today:

...And I say today because the House does change over time. Today (a friday) when I clicked on the EastEast route, for instance, I was greeted by this grotesquely distorted version of Rebecca Black's "Friday":

Okay, let's talk about what we have going on in the House map, starting from the doors and working out. (I've given some of these my own names for clarity.)

North

The Classpect Menu Game:

This, I think, is the main titular "ZampanioSim". It's the part that's intended to recreate the experience of a supposed old computer game, but by and large, you only experience the menu screen, not the rest of the gameplay. You can select attributes (based on Homestuck's Classpecting system + the Magnus Archives fears) gain points and select skills and (depending on your seed) eventually "beat the game". It's glitchy, it's a hellscape, there's an entity or two in the menu system that are trying to talk to you. It's great fun. Contains links to a rabbithole (which you can plug passwords into for more secrets) and + some secrets to you in the credits.

(While mostly the aspects seem to add flavor to the menu options, there's a special class called "Waste". This appears in neither TMA nor Homestuck, but comes from a fan or meta-joke that Andrew Hussie and Toby Fox, the writer and a major composer for Homestuck, are classpected* as the "Waste of Space" and "Waste of Time". By telling it you're a "Waste"you're more likely to get weird glitches and new options in your Classpect Menu game run - there's a fun recurring element in some of these games about the game changing depending on who you tell it is playing. I learned about the Waste trick from JR's youtube channel. Also, setting your birthday as Halloween might also do something.)

I have no idea if the different iterations of games here are substantially different. I haven't checked. There's a lot going on. "There's a lot going on" is a good summary of ZampanioSim overall.

*( Uh, classpecting is this in-Homestuck personality system where game players are a [Role] of [Element].)

Eyedlr: Eyedol Games is the company that supposedly made the original game Zampanio. Eyedlr is their spambot-filled tumblr clone, which also has secrets in it. (Actually, just assume everything has secrets out.)

East

The House Exploration game: It has the same setup screen as the Classpect Menu game, but this one drops you into a game with visuals: An infinite(?) procedural house you navigate with imagery derived from your choices.

Peewee's exploration game: When it's not blasting Rebecca Black's Friday But Weird into your ears, the EastEast route is another procedural infinite(?) maze, except that you type directions to Peewee, a snake guy with goggles who also moves around on his own. This one also introduces named characters we learn more about elsewhere.

Bathroom text: Procredural bathroom maze, unless it's just some text telling you to take a break. ZampanioSim really likes telling you to take breaks and hydrate, so that you can better appreciate and spread Zampanio.

Absolutely not. Also, I'm a busy woman. I have to finish this writing summary first.

South

The Train Game: a game - notably not a maze - where JR walks down a series of train corridors and monologues to you about the game and the "reality" behind it.

The mazecrawler game: You tell a little guy how to navigate an infinite(?) maze - and if you choose right and open up your browser's Console menu, you can learn a great deal more about

West

The only West route is AdventureSimWest, which is an actual text narrative game where readers submit commands that the author incorporates into updates - just like early Homestuck. It's still going. The logs are extensive but it's mostly about the antics of a new employee at Eyedol Games, which is stuck in a time loop.

Other

Then there's some other scattered clickable text -

The truth about alt: An exchange between two shapeshifters.

A transcript: A dialogue between two people who apparently work for Eyedol Games.

The lower left leads you to an apparently rotating selection of other Zampanio-related games. I particularly liked NagaGirlfriend.

None of this is even the stuff you can reach this page exclusively through the Console menu.

And much more

And there's a lot of stuff that's NOT branching directly off of the house. There's other things you find buried in links or by searching - a discord and a wiki that both straddle the line between in-character and -out, Archive of Our Own content, a youtube channel, the Eyedol website...

Is there a "story" to ZampanioSim?

Yes.

Like I said, there's a lot I haven't seen yet. But what's going on is something like this:

JR is attempting to recreate this game, Zampanio, of course, and tap into its fanbase. The game Zampanio is an infectious meme. Eyedol Games is a transdimensional company that is perhaps both trying to spread the meme and contain it, by removing its spores, e.g. the Zampanio FAQ - the thing that inspired JR to make ZampanioSim - from the internet.

Various parts of the game recognize that they are fictional and may identify you the reader/player as "Observers".

There are a few recurring characters who have gotten swept up into the meme, either working for Eyedol or trapped in ZampanioSim or both, and have followed it from variant to transdimensional variant.

(this is an image from homestuck. it's a reference.)

Japes aside, this is a brain-bending, very cool, and completely ludicrous unfiction project which I believe is made mostly by one person with an unparalleled hand for web sorcery, whimsy, and vibes. The vibes are so good.

The host website, Farrago Fiction (which AFAICT is a multi-person project), hosts a number of often-homestuck-inspired weird games and simulators.

I know ZampanioSim is now a few years old and is still actively updating. Consider checking it out.

2024-08-24 edit: Part 2!

[weirdmarioenemies]

I am going to rank all of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

That's right! I'm ranking all of them! All ninety-one of these things! Hi, I'm Mod Hooligon, and you may recognize me as "the mod that posted about Super Paper Mario a lot", but did you know? The Super Mario Galaxy games are maybe my actual favorite Mario games! In fact, I've never even beaten Super Paper Mario! I'm a fraud! But I'm a cute fraud, right?

But I'm not a fraud when it comes to Super Mario Galaxy, because I've 100%'d both games, and have replayed them multiple times over! And when you play some games that much, you start to have opinions. And then you want to subject everyone else to your opinions! So that's what I'm gonna do.

This is gonna be a little Weirdmarioenemies mini-series I run outside of our usual posting schedule, so expect a new part of this list every Sunday, until there's no Galaxies left to cover. Today we'll be tackling all the low-tier Galaxies, because there's not enough of them to warrant making three separate posts for F-tier, D-tier, and C-tier.

Got that? Good. Rankings start under the cut!

91. Sling Pod Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Well, something had to be the worst. If you are an ardent Sling Pod Galaxy fan, I am so, so sorry. Let it be known that you are entitled to your own opinion, and that I understand.

But I'm also entitled to my own opinion and my opinion is that Sling Pod Galaxy is Not Very Good! Really, not a lot of the Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game are, we're gonna be covering most of them in this post...

The Sling Pods aren't an awful gimmick in and of themselves, it can be fun to slingshot Mario around, and they're used to great effect in the Tarantox boss fight! But I feel like they can be a bit imprecise, and nowhere does that show more than in Sling Pod Galaxy, where you're required to fling Mario from Sling Pod to Sling Pod with precise timing, and not a lot of wiggle room.

If your aim or timing is just slightly off (and let's face it, it uses motion controls, so it's probably going to be) then you're gonna sling Mario right into the void. There's a cool concept here, but at the end of the day, I'll always find Sling Pod Galaxy more frustrating than fun.

And besides that, it's just not very thematically interesting! It's kinda just cobbled together out of miscellaneous assets, but doesn't manage to make it feel like a Theme the way Space Junk Galaxy does.

90. Snow Cap Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Oh look, another Hungry Luma Galaxy! That didn't take long at all.

I feel like most people wouldn't consider the bunny chases the highlights of the Super Mario Galaxy games, and Snow Cap Galaxy is a galaxy that makes you chase three bunnies, all of which start the mission hidden, under a pretty strict time limit. There's a small chamber you can open that you can chase the bunnies into, but in order to open it, you need to activate a number of Flipswitches, most of which are hidden in the snow, which you need to use your cursor to clear out...

I feel like this mission asks too much of you in too little time, and ends up being another one that ends up more frustrating than fun, especially with how inconsistent chasing down the bunnies can actually be! That being said, I'll give it the edge over Sling Pod, since I think it's at least a little more aesthetically interesting. Bunnies hiding in the snow! It's cute.

89. Stone Cyclone Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: F

If the Hungry Lumas have the worst galaxies in the first game, then World S has some of the worst in the second. I wouldn't say the track record is nearly as bad, I think Super Mario Galaxy 2's quality is much more consistent all around, but that didn't manage to save Stone Cyclone from escaping the bottom tier...

I like a good challenge, but I like a good challenge, and I don't know if I'd consider Stone Cyclone Galaxy good. It's a repeat of the Stone Cyclone planet from the first game (which I do like!), but with all the Tox Boxes, Thwomps, and moving platforms moving 4 times faster. You're given switches that can temporarily slow everything down, and make everything much more manageable, but since it's all temporary, you better be able to manage the faster version once the timer's up!

I don't know, there's a cool concept here, but I feel everything moves so fast when time isn't slowed down, that making jumps between the moving platforms in particular can be really difficult. And when the Tox Boxes are moving faster than you do, sometimes it feels like there's not much room to move without getting squished soon after!

88. Flipswitch Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Yep! Stone Cyclone was the last of the bottom-tiers. Again, there's not really a lot of galaxies in these games I don't like. Now we're at the "I don't necessarily hate them, but also find them kind of pointless" tier!

And no Galaxy feels more pointless to me than Flipswitch Galaxy, which is honestly kind of a joke. Flipswitch Galaxy is One planet. That's right, you get one! This is an entire Galaxy that could easily be a mission in another Galaxy, and even that's being generous. This is a stopgap between two planets in a cooler, more elaborate Galaxy.

Flipswitch Galaxy isn't really frustrating at all, it's probably one of the easiest missions in the entire game, but it's so short and so pointless, that I just wish they did a little more with it, you know? Add a couple more planets, let things escalate a little more, I know you want to keep it easy because of how early in the game it is, but if Flip-Swap Galaxy is any indication, you can do a breezy early-game gimmick galaxy much better than this!

87. Bigmouth Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Okay, quick question, how many of you have beaten Bigmouth Galaxy the intended way? I genuinely didn't know until a pretty recent playthrough that there even were Star Chips in this Galaxy. I always just used gravity shenanigans to jump from the top of pool to the other! I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and that the jump was just a little annoying to get right! I'm not sure if I've even ever done this mission the intended way. The jump is just way quicker.

Bigmouth Galaxy is pretty whatever. It sure does exist! I think it's funny that this is a Hungry Luma Galaxy, but Penguru says he likes to come here frequently just to think. He's been a frequent here ever since the galaxy was born five minutes ago!

What do you want me to say about Bigmouth Galaxy. It's a shorter, easier, more mediocre version of Slimy Spring Galaxy, I guess.

86. Drip Drop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

I'm just not giving these Hungry Luma galaxies a break, am I? Don't worry Hungry Lumas, you'll do better in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Anyway, Drip Drop Galaxy is a single planet where you kill a few Gringills with shells, and that's really it. The underwater controls in this game can feel a little janky, so aiming the shells can be a little frustrating, but it's not especially hard, especially if you can find the Red Shells, which retain their homing ability from Mario Kart.

Pretty unremarkable, not especially fun, but I don't dread it the way I do some others, so that's a plus. Apparently this is where Penguru lives.

85. Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Wrapping up the D-tiers, we have Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor, the most forgettable of the Bowser and Bowser Jr. stages. King Kaliente is a cool boss and all, and I think the sinking lava platforms are a cool shakeup to his fight, but for the final boss of the fifth dome, you kinda think they'd do a bit more, right?

There's not really a lot of buildup to the boss, and the boss itself isn't all that difficult, which makes this mission feel pretty underwhelming. I'm curious if I'd put this higher if it weren't one of the Bowser Jr. stages. My stance is "probably, but not by too much". There's not a lot going on in this galaxy.

84. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I don't know what it says that this is one of the better Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game.

Let's talk positives first! I think it's cool that they give you a rematch against the Spooky Speedster, and I like that it shakes things up so much. The idea of you getting the Boo Mushroom to become more "equal" with the Spooky Speedster is cool, and I like that they further differentiate things by making it a 2D level. That's all pretty cool!

It's just that... I think this mission is really easy. The Spooky Speedster isn't really all that speedy here, and unlike the shortcut during the first race which you kinda have to go out of your way for, this time it's in plain sight, and not hard to reach at all. Besides that, I just don't think the Boo Mushroom is an especially fun powerup to use in a Race. It's a good powerup, make no mistake, but in the context of a race, it feels pretty sluggish...

83. Loopdeeloop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Super Mario Galaxy has a handful of motion-control based minigames, and of the bunch, I think the ray surfing is my least favorite. I don't hate it, I kinda like how wild riding the waves can feel, but at the same time, that wildness combined with the motion controls can make it feel at times like you don't have a lot of control over where you're going, you know?

Loopdeeloop Galaxy is the galaxy that introduces this minigame, and it's fine. I generally prefer its more challenging variant (which we'll see later, but not too much later), but this works well enough as an introduction. It's just kind of a basic version of a minigame I'm not that big a fan of, there's not a lot to say about Loopdeeloop Galaxy.

82. Honeyclimb Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

As far as single-mission gimmick galaxies go, this one is alright. I like the use of Mandibugs and Meteors to spice things up. Unlike something like the Flipswitch Galaxy, this has a pretty solid sense of escalation, which I like!

That being said, it's still pretty basic, climbing honey walls isn't exactly the most exciting gimmick in the world, so I'm not gonna be that huge on a galaxy built completely around it. I guess the focus on the honey climbing lets it feel a bit more distinct from the other Bee Mushroom galaxies, but it's also easily the weakest of the Bee Mushroom galaxies, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

I feel like I don't have much to say about any of these mid-tier Galaxies. Sorry.

81. Grand Finale Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Of all the galaxy rankings, I feel like this is one of the ones I feel the least certain about. Part of me feels it should be lower, part of me thinks putting it lower would be unfair, so instead it ends up here!

From a gameplay perspective, Grand Finale Galaxy is not really that interesting at all. There's no challenge, you just grab the Purple Coins, which are all just out there in the open, and that's really it! That's the star! I don't even know if you can die in this galaxy at all.

But like, that feels like the wrong way to assess this galaxy, because it's not meant to be a challenge in the slightest, it's meant to be this nice little reward you get for getting 100% in this game. You beat the game twice over already, so get to enjoy the Star Festival without Bowser rudely interrupting! Get to spend a little more time with all the characters you've met on your journey before being done with the game for good, it's here as a nice little bonus.

That being said, as a Grand Finale, I feel it sort of lacks... grandeur? I dunno. It's cute as a nice little goodbye, but part of me feels they could've done a little more with it.

Don't ask me what! I'm not a game designer, I'm just some autistic girl on the internet talking about a 16 year old video game! Leave me alone!

80. Mario Squared Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

I'll give Mario Squared Galaxy this: it has one of the best names of any galaxy across these games, and that gotta count for something.

Mario Squared is pretty much just a reused planet from Toy Time Galaxy in the first game, just with the rotating squares swapped out for Flipswitches. And I mean hey, if you're gonna reuse content from any galaxy, Toy Time is a pretty good pick. but also the very nature of being reused content means I'm bumping it down a bit, because eh! We've already seen this before! I don't need a galaxy to be a small part of a better galaxy!

I'm pretty sure this galaxy solely exists so they could bring back the infamous Luigi's Purple Coins mission in Super Mario Galaxy 2, which I guess is fair. That mission is difficult, but it is fun, and I like the twists they add in this game (like the Cosmic Clones, and the fact you have to grab all of them this time)! Fun way to create a new take on one of the first game's most challenging missions.

...But can I really rate a galaxy that highly for redoing something another Galaxy already did? I don't know if I can give Mario Squared Galaxy a super high grade for copying Toy Time Galaxy's homework and changing it a little.

I think it's funny that the objective of this mission is to turn all the blue Flipswitches yellow, so it looks like Mario's SMB1 sprite, but once all the Flipswitches are activated, they all turn green, making the whole thing feel kinda pointless. This is fine because green is a better color than yellow anyway.

79. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Another one of those short gimmick galaxies with only one mission. I think building a galaxy around these disappearing panels is a pretty fun idea. Once you stand on one of them, it's gone forever, so you have to plan your route carefully, but don't spend too much time planning, because all the ground is disappearing panels. It creates a fun dynamic, that's true to the galaxy's name! There's a solid chance your route will be a little off, so you might have to make some big leaps to grab notes you may have missed. It's cool, I like it!

But not like, that much. It's still a pretty small galaxy all things considered. This one gets a little buildup before the end, which is nice, but it's not much buildup, so the whole experience ends up feeling a little short.

Not helping is the fact they repeat this mission later in the game, but more challenging, and in a galaxy that has other things going on. That does subtract from Hurry-Scurry Galaxy a bit, I feel.

78. Sand Spiral Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I know I've mentioned multiple times in this post how mediocre the Hungry Luma galaxies in the first game are, but for emphasis: this is the second best one, and it's in C-Tier. Don't feel too bad, Sand Spiral Galaxy. You'll still outshine most of your siblings at the family reunion. At least if you're ignoring those pesky Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies.

This Galaxy gives you a choice between the Bee Mushroom and the Boo Mushroom, and I pretty much always pick the Boo Mushroom I'm pretty sure. There's obstacles for both on the way, so it's not like one's strictly "better" than the other, but I always appreciate the extra control the Boo Mushroom gives me here. After a short tunnel, you lose your powerup, are sent to a spiral planet spinning around a moon, where you grab a Rainbow Star and run through some mines to grab the Star at the end.

It's a pretty short mission that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to do, but at the very least, I appreciate that it gives you multiple options, the visual at the end is pretty striking, and making big jumps during the spiral as a Speedrun Strat can be pretty satisfying.

77. Boss Blitz Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

If you couldn't tell already, a lot of World S in Super Mario Galaxy 2 is reused content, and that's a lot of why these galaxies are scoring so low. Boss Blitz Galaxy is a string of five boss fights from the first game in a row, which I guess makes it a bit interesting in the context of the sequel, given none of these bosses show up in the main quest, so if this is your only Super Mario Galaxy game, you kinda gotta figure them all out on the fly.

Thankfully, most of these boss fights are still pretty fun, though again, they're all reused so you're not really getting much new here. The timer challenge is sort of teetering on the edge between being "challenging in a frustrating way" and "challenging in a fun way" for me. Speedrunning all the boss fights can be really fun, but none of them really have shortcuts the way the bosses in say, Super Mario Odyssey do, and some of the RNG in the Bouldergeist fight can make the challenge feel a bit inconsistent (even if that IS the best of the bosses), so sometimes your pace feels a bit out of your control.

It also feels weird to have both Dino Piranha and Fiery Dino Piranha, it's kinda redundant, though I do like having them as the bookends, I guess.

76. Twisty Trials Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

Woah, reusing content from Super Mario Sunshine now? Slow down, World S!

For what it's worth, reusing Sunshine content is a bit more interesting than reusing Galaxy content, because it's a different game with different controls and different physics and whatnot. Still, it's not like Twisty Trials Galaxy is that interesting. It's a series of progressively more difficult rotating platforms that you have to keep your balance on, and that's really it, though I do like the comet challenge where they move twice as fast, and you have to use the Cloud Flower to keep on pace. That's pretty neat.

I wish they kept the music from Sunshine. I like the weird a capella version of the Super Mario Bros. Overworld theme way more than Super Mario 2007.

75. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

"The Galaxy's Greatest Wave". I mean, there's only two ray surfing galaxies across both games, this one and Loopdeeloop, so is there really that much competition?

That being said, yeah, I like this more challenging version. I know that the ray surfing minigame still isn't really my favorite (it's in C-tier for a reason!) but having a more difficult course I think brings out some of the best aspects, like how wild it feels to control! And also some of the worst aspects, like how wild it feels to control! It's still as much of a double-edged sword as ever, just a bit more extreme due to the more extreme course.

That being said, since it's more challenging, that makes finishing it feel a lot more satisfying, and I'd never say it really feels unfair. Sure, falling off can be frustrating given how difficult it can be to control, but when it's all done, I end up feeling more "yeah, I did it :D" than "oh thank god that's over with", which I think is the important distinction between an F-tier and a C-tier.

Don't take that as meaning I'm in love with this galaxy, though. It's still here for a reason.

74. Bonefin Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

The cooler Drip Drop Galaxy.

That's really pretty much all this one is, it's Drip Drop Galaxy again but this time it's a boss fight, and it's a bit more exciting because of it. Heck, you need to beat Drip Drop Galaxy to unlock this one, so the resemblance isn't unintentional!

Since it's pretty much Drip Drop Galaxy again, it suffers a lot of the same issues that Galaxy has, but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't get boosted a lot from the Style Points, though I also think having a single large target to hit ends up feeling a lot better than several smaller targets. Aiming your shells feels a lot easier, but since it's a boss fight, there's also a better sense of escalation here.

Still, it's pretty much just the boss fight, and I mean, being a slightly better version of a D-tier Galaxy isn't exactly something I'll sing my highest praises about. If nothing else, at least it has a killer atmosphere.

73. Sea Slide Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Wrapping up the C-tier is Sea Slide Galaxy, the worst of the "big" Galaxies from the first game. To quote myself from earlier in the same post, "Well, something had to be the worst." But also not quite like that since it's nowhere near as bad.

The biggest issue with Sea Slide Galaxy is there's really not an awful lot of diversity in its missions. Of the six missions here, three of them are basically "swim in a loop around the galaxy," just with slightly different distances. The Silver Star mission, thankfully, fares a lot better, as does the Improved Version of Hurry-Scurry Galaxy (here it is!) but the last of the missions is one of the boring Purple Coin missions. Mod Hooligon's Tip: If you start a Purple Coin mission and it doesn't have this banger, I'm Sorry.

The galaxy definitely has a unique layout, but there's not really much to do in the water besides swim in a circle, since every mission that doesn't involve swimming in a circle usually has you ignoring the water outright. Would this galaxy be better if it had more swimming? I dunno. As stated, the underwater controls in this game can be a bit finnicky, so maybe I should be glad it's either swim in a circle or don't swim at all.

And that's it for today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you disagree? If you're a Sling Pod Galaxy fan, make some noise!

And if you're looking for the B-Tier galaxies, you're in luck, because you can find those here!

[cram-cram]

Bonjour everyone

So, I am here today to yap about ZZZ because Y E S

I made two tier lists and I shall comment on them because why not

This post will be for the first tier list, which is regarding playstyle, while the other post will be for companion quests. So let's get to it!

So, you could say I like fast playstyles but then BOOM, Anton (he doesn't have a fast playstyle per say, but it is very fun still). So, let's tacke each tier

Fun playstyle, feels great and satisfying to play

For this tier, we have:

→ Billy - fast playstyle leaning playstyle with certain gimmicks that I find super fun. His signature W-Engine, in my opinion, enhances his playstyle by incentivating the player to do his beyblade dash attack more often (the Engine's passive buffs attack for 10 seconds after doing a dash or basic attack). His skill does a HUGE ammount of damage and, when put in a team he has resonance with, using his skill before the burst will buff the burst's damage (and if you burst AFTER a chain attack, the burst ALSO gets buffed!). So, in general, really fun to play! Love dodging with him by just... Pressing a movement key while he's in his crouched state (yes you can do that), it makes me feel like a pro (it fails 90% of the time). Fun fact! Billy is one of the fastest running units in the game after Lycaon and Ellen I believe! So ye, love my lil' android man, he's amazing

→ Ellen - Another one with a fast leaning playstyle!(Did you notice I have a preferred gameplay type?) But her playstyle is SUPER fun, albeit I'm still fetching her gimmick. The fact that you should dodge, continue sprinting, and THEN attack instead of doing a normal dodge counter is a bit tricky, but as you play her more, you manage to get used to it. Ellen's playstyle is very forward imo, which isn't a bad thing at all. Enter stalk mode, hold attack to charge the scissors, let go, get basic attack stacks, basic attack, repeat. While I don't have her signature (didn't have enough time to fetch it, augh) the Engine I use, starlight knight, is very good, since it buffs dash attacks and basic attacks as well (made for her and Billy eh?). I also love her burst animation and I usually play her with Lucy and Soukaku for big pp damage. Highly recommend getting her on her rerun if you missed her on her banner!

→ Anton - BABYGIRL I LOVE YOUU! Anyways, his playstyle was VERY confusing at first, but you get the hang of it rather easily. His main souce of damage comes from his burst mode (not actual burst, but skill activation). Once in that mode, he will do constant electric damage, but you need to pay attention to his energy meter because, once it reaches zero, you're back to dealing physical damage. While off field, with his resonance passive activated, Anton will regain energy. Other ways to regain energy WHILE in burst mode is to assist with him. As soon as you hear the attack noise + see the glow, press space and his assist counter will refill part of his energy meter! His actual burst is also SUPER satisfying to use, doing big damage in an aoe. I was using the summer event weapon on him before getting his signature and GYATT he was doing some VERY good damage (he's not even properly built as of rn). Tldr, Anton, while having a playstyle that requires a bit of time to do damage, is very rewarding when the big pp damage mode is on.

→ Qingyi - Soldier 11 I hate you for making me lose my 50/50 to you... QINGYI IS SO FUN TO PLAY! Genuinely speaking, her playstyle is SO fun, love me some stun units (I don't have any stun units that I use, sorry Anby). Qignyi also has a fast and to the point playstyle. Just keep pressing basic attack until she enters tazer mode and then hold the button once the little gold bar beneath her energy is gold. Big pp dmg and the stun is great. I love her dodge counters too (I have only played her on quests and trials, but gosh I love playing with her). In general, there's nothing much I have to say about her playstyle, it's direct and rather simple. Just zap ppl, fill up gold bar, hold attack button, do damage. Great playstyle, I will get her on her rerun.

→ Caesar - FUN SHIELDER LET'S GOOOO. Fast playstyle on the basic attacks but that is not her purpose (you could absolutely play her as a dps tho). Her shield build off of her impact, which I found very interesting and fun! To play her, you just counter an incoming attack with her skill (shield) and press it again. Bam, shield is on, time to swap out! However, I recommend you keep her on field a bit longer and do a held attack before leaving. Why? Well, her held attack, the spinning shields, gather small-medium enemies into a horde, making it easier to attack them in one go! She's great in teams that have characters that can do aoe dmg, so I highly recommend her for literally ANY team that has a physical or sons of callydon character (such as Piper, Lucy, Corin, Jane or even Billy). One negative point tho, there are no A rank or B rank Defence W-Engines with an Impact substat, the only one is her signature. So, if you want the W-Engine buff, I highly recommend getting her signature, unless ZZZ plans on launching another A rank defence engine with impact substat (which I find unlikely).

→ Piper - *signs the entirety of the beyblade opening*. But yeah, that's her gameplay, LMAO. Albeit being ok the slower playstyle side, she is still very fun to play. You can spam her basic attack and use the section in which she jumps to avoid enemy attacks or ya can just, y'know, dodge them. Since she's an anomaly character, her dmg lies in anomaly buildups and procs. Do three of her basic attacks and press her skill (when glowing) and she will enter her fast spinning mode faster, acquiring stacks. Those stacks, when her resonance passive is on, buff her and her teammates' anomaly dmg when doing the physical anomaly reactions. She's great for solos (I solo'd the Dead End Butcher on Hollow Zero with her but hey, it's Hollow Zero lol) and just fun to play in general. Love spinning with her and hearing the SHING sound when she procs and Assault reaction.

→ Grace - ELECTRIC GRENADEEEE. Also fast style gameplay, just normal attack with her, wait for her bombs to charge up beneath her energy meter, wait for glowing skill, BAM. Swap her out for your electric dps. That's her playstyle frfr, just NA, skill, leave. Albeit being having a rather... Short time on screen, she does HUGE damage with her skill due to being an anomaly character (the ammount of times she got the MVP because of her shock procks are not listed). She's a great Electric character support and is just fun to play in general. Just be aware that she has a rather smoll ammount of hp, she's very frail.

→ Jane - normal attack, charge passion, held to spinn. Essentially piper but normal attack instead of skill. Her Assault procks are great and her dmg is just, MWACK, phenomenal. Fast playstyle with very smooth moves that make even FIGHTING against her difficult. The enemies are legit just... Tanking a thousand blades. Again, albeit being straight to the point, the fact of how fast you hit enemies and the shing sound of the anomaly procks are just prefection, love it, very satisfying to just put the enemies in the Jane blender (she fr blends them up with how fast she attacking, we gonna have enemy smoothie at this point).

Good playstyle, also fun to play

→ Burnice - she also has a very fast paced playstyle but I don't feel the vibes to put her on the tier above. Love that she pirouettes with her flamethrowers and that, to charge her basic attacks (there's a meter beneath her energy meter) you have to press the skill to just burn the enemies with her flamethrowers. Very straightforwards, very fun to play, just doesn't scratch the funky itch for me, but her playstyle is great! Pair her with Caesar and you'll have a great time burning everything to the ground.

→ Nekomata - SHING SHING SHINNG. Fast kitty has the zoomies and she is going to turn you into sashimi. Again, only played her on her quest and on the trials, but her playstyle, while being fast, doesn't hit as much as the others. Love how fast she goes, love how she just slides on the floor while slashing the enemy's kneecaps, but it just doesn't scratch the itch as much as the others... Very good and fun still tho!

→ Rina - press her skill and leave the field. That's it, that's her gameplay. She's mainly here because of how fluid her moves are and how good it feels to use her on the few moments she's on field. Her purpose is solely to buff pierce, but she still manages to have a fun and fluid playstyle while fitting that role perfectly. Wife, please come home, your W-Engine is waiting...

→ Lycaon - while he has fast attacks, that's not how you're supposed to play him. It's a bit tricky and I was considering lowering him a bit, but he's fun still so he stays here. The deal with his playstyle is that you have to hold the attack button so that Lycaon can do ice damage, otherwise is just physical, so keeping the ice combo is a bit complicated (skill issue on my end mb). Still, while being a bit slower due to that little gimmick, he still mantains his fun factor.

→ Lucy - HIT EM WITH THE BAT, GURL. But yeah, her gameplay is also very to the point, wait for her skill to start glowing, hold it, swap out and enjoy the attack buff. You can also build her with crit, since once her resonance passive is active, her little boars will inherit her crit ratio, doing damage alongside your on field dps. So I'd say is worth it to try and build her with a bit of crit, just for her boars' sake. I find it rlly funny that she just... Hits her children boars with the bat, and the hit is SO STRONG that they come back down like a fiery comet. Lucy, hun, pls take better care of your babies-

→ Koleda - NYOOOOOOOOMMMM. GIRLY IS FAST! But like, where the fire dmg at-. Love the weapons, love her hits, love her speed but... She's just a physical character with some fire stuff. I came to that realization while playing with her on a trial on the new event thingy we have at the HIA headquarters. She attacks rlly fast, but 90% of those attacks deal phys dmg instead of fire, with her only fire dmg hits being the end of her basic combo, skill and burst. She's still fun, but the lack of fire saddens me a bit.

→ Corin - smoll delicate gurl with beeg chainsaw, love her. Her playstyle is a bit on the slower side and she thrives in dealing repeated damage due to her chainsaw. Majority of her damage comes from her skill, where she keeps the steadiest grip I've ever seen on her weapon as she walks, hitting whatever the fuck is in her way. While it's fun, yes, it's also a bit... Boring at times, I think? Idk, I loved playing her at the beginning, with her hitting bitches around with her chainsaw, but nowadays, since I don't play her much, whenever I use a trial her I'm like "I mean... It's fun, but she only has like, one attack variation and her dodge attack is kinda... Meh" idk why, but she's still fun

→ Soldier 11 - I hate you, I hate you so much, you have no flavor but... Your playstyle is actually a bit fun. Her fire damage is WAAAY more present and, even tho I don't play her (I refuse to) the few times I had to I had a surprising amount of fun. Like, yes, she's almost a carbon copy of Anby, but she's a faster fire version of Anby, which makes her a bit more satisfying to play in my books (I'm so sorry Anby)

A slightly clunky but still solid playstyle

→ Soukaku - yes, I know she's a support, but her skill is a bit clunky to use imo. You have to use it three times in order to get the max buff she can provide, yet her skill activation time is so slow and leaves her vulnerable to enemy attacks. While yes, she has INSANE interruption res while using her skill, the vulnerability while releasing her ice circles (when she waves her weapon like a tennis racket) is very annoying to me. Like, should I give her more hp? Probably. Will I? No, she gets the attack, deal with it.

→ Nicole - same thing as Soukaku. Her skill is great, love the suck and the aoe, but why is it SO SLOW TO CHARGEEEE. GIRLY POP, YOU'RE VULNERABLE TO THE ENEMY DAMAGE, CHARGE THAT GUN BAG FASTER! As you can see, I don't like slower playstyle characters, it takes a LOT for me to like them. But besides her skill, her playstyle is ok. Don't use her so often besides trials and when the game forces me, but yeah, I'm not rlly... A fan of her playstyle (love her character tho)

Playstyle is clunky

→ Ben - he is, quite literally, the SLOWEST character in the game. His attack animations are great but... I just don't like his playstyle. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Ben as a character, but his playstyle just... Rlly doesn't hit home for me. Yeah, his skill is fun, but I keep forgetting to press it twice instead of only once.

→ Anby - girl... Girl I'm so not counting how many attacks you did to do your electric charged. Like, "once she's done four attacks, hold the attack button to-" BITCH YOU THINK I COUNT? Like, I understand if you love Anby, me too! I love her character! But... Why, why do I have to count to properly use her... My brain needs stimuly, not mathematics 😭 I'm so sorry Anby

→ Zhu Yuan - why are you so clunky. I rlly just don't like her playstyle, it feels so... Clunky and choppy and NOT FUN to me. I completely understand if you like her playstyle, that's great, but I just rlly can't bring myself to enjoy it. When I tested her I already felt soooo icky, she felt so choppy and rigid to play like, why... I know she's a cop and her moves are precise, but Qignyi, who's also a cop, plays smoother than her imo

Playstyle feels stiff and non enjoyable

→ Seth - Seth... Seth my love... I am so sorry... I rly don't like his playstyle. His dash attack? Confusing. His skill? Takes SO LONG to charge and also leaves him vulnerable to damage. And his normal attacks are like... Ok-ish? But he feels so stiff and clunky and I just can't enjoy myself while playing him... I'm so sorry Seth, but your playstyle, in my humble opinion, is shit. Not for me, 0/10, please never force me to use you again.

[cevansbrat0007]

The Lonely Hearts Club: Part One

Summary: You decide to press pause on your relationship with Andrew Barber. Too bad your hotshot attorney of an ex-boyfriend doesn't understand the meaning of the word. Takes place directly after the events in Photo Shoot Faux Pas. Read Part Two!

Warnings: Angst, Break-ups, Cursing, Andy Being a Menace, Insecure Reader, Eventual Smut, Manhandling, Punishments, Minors DNI

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! This multi-part fic will feature a combination of requests from the likes of @writer84, @lexivass, @moejdaw, as well as several other anonymous readers. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

___

“Come on, girl. You can do this.”

“Yeah, but maybe…” You trail off as you approach Andy’s front door. Fishing the key out of your pocket, you insert it into the lock. Thanks to your shaking hands, it actually takes a few seconds longer than it probably should. “Maybe I oughta wait.”

“Babe.” Your friend blows out a breath, the noise coming across the other line like static. “We’ve been over this like a dozen times already. Today is just another day; it’s no different from any other.” 

Your friends had been quick to remind you that Valentine’s Day didn’t really matter. At its core, it was nothing more than a cheap gimmick big corporations used to upsell mediocre chocolate and subpar rom-coms. Right?

“I know, I know.” There really wasn’t much more you could say beyond that. Not after the two of you had painstakingly broken down every detail of this very scenario just last night. During which time you also managed to consume several bottles of wine. 

You’d been all up in your feelings from the moment you’d arrived at your best friend’s house. And Sara had spent a good hour sitting with you on her living room floor, gently rocking you back and forth while you quietly sobbed into her sweater. 

Andy hated it when you cried. But when you did, he was always so good at using his big body to comfort you – to calm you down. He’d been the one that you’d really wanted last night. You’d been so tempted to call him, even before the alcohol had started flowing. 

However, all your girls had said “no”. And when they couldn’t get you to listen to reason, they’d instructed Sara to remove the temptation by swiping your phone and hiding it away. At the time you’d been highly upset. But now you were grateful for their interference. Because this was something you had to do. 

Provided that you could make yourself stick with the fucking plan.

“Are you in yet?” Sara asks, her voice briefly snapping you back into the present.

“I am. I–I’m just gonna leave it on the table. Along with the muffins.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you brace for the sound you’re pretty sure is about to viciously assault your eardrums in three…two…one…

Here it comes.

“YOU BOUGHT HIM FUCKING MUFFINS?!” She screeches, her tone rife with stunned exasperation. “Are you being serious right now?!”

Yes, you did that. It didn’t seem right to just drop the note and run. At least not without leaving a little something else to go with it, apparently in the form of cinnamon spice crunch.

“Don’t judge me, bitch. This shit is hard enough as it is.” You growl into the receiver, setting the box of delicious smelling baked goods onto his kitchen counter. “I just wanna make sure he has something to tide him over until we – until we, um…” Gripping the edge of a chair, you force yourself to take a series of deep breaths.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.” Your friend immediately backpedals. But it doesn’t matter. It’s not like you can hear her anyway over the sound of the distant roaring in your ears. “I know this is hard, honey. But you’ve got to pull it together.” 

This whole thing was making you feel ill. 

Fuck! Like it or not, she was right. The last thing you wanted to do was start crying again. Because you knew if you allowed yourself to break down here, it would be impossible to stop. And that’s exactly where you could not afford to let Andrew Stephen Barber to find you right now.

Standing in the middle of his kitchen, openly crying. Desperately wanting to be held by the one man who had the power to shatter you into a million glittering pieces with nothing more than a simple touch.

And while that might seem a bit dramatic, it also didn’t make it any less true. Which meant that you needed to get out there, fast. You couldn’t allow yourself to forget that you really did have somewhere else to be. Standing up straight, you tuck Andy’s house key into the folded up piece of paper and then place it on top of the muffins.

Time to go. 

Turning on your heel, you make a beeline for the exit. Hopefully you’d feel better once you were on the road. As you leave, you make a mental note to worry about everything else later. Until then, you just had to focus on the now.    

“Fuck!” You hiss as the door slams closed behind you. 

“What? Is Andy home? Did he –” You cut her off, feeling frustrated even as the sickly-sweet taste of regret threatens to claw its way up your throat. 

“No. I just forgot to grab that stupid fucking album is all.” With a huff, you jog over to your car. “And it’s not like I can go back in for it or anything since I left him his key. Fuuuuck!” You close the driver’s side door before turning on your vehicle and putting it in gear.

“Girl, who gives a shit!” Sara snorts, clearly relieved that your activities weren’t interrupted. “Look at it this way, whether you like it or not, you just gave that ungrateful bastard something to remember you by.”

Good point, Sara. That’s exactly why she had been designated as your emotional support person for this entire emotionally draining escape. 

“True.” Time to focus on the road. If traffic cooperated, you had just enough time to get yourself to your next destination without risking getting a ticket.

Not that that mattered much anymore. The days of anyone giving a shit about your potentially reckless activities were most likely a thing of the past. Oh well. You looked forward to no longer having to stock up on aloe. Yeah, the price of that stock was about to go way down. 

A tiny giggle bubbles up, escaping before you can stop it. 

“Are you okay, Y/N? I know that was rough back there, but I really think you did the right thing. Plus, I’ve been updating everyone on the group chat, and they all agree.” You resolve to check the thread later so that you can provide everyone with an update.

See that Andy Bear? This whole damned thing had been workshopped from start to finish. You can’t possibly accuse me of being impulsive now. You let out another burst of laughter, this one sounding a touch more hysterical than the last.  

“Also, Rhea really wants to know where you got those friggin’ muffins…”

“Tell her I’ll message her with the name of the bakery later.” You merge onto the highway as you head towards downtown. “Thanks for all your help today, Sara. Couldn’t have done it without you girls.”

“Hey boo – you know we love Andy’s fine ass. We just happen to love your ass a hell of a lot more. Now drive safe and text us when you land.” You know she’s telling the truth. All of your girls were pretty darn fond of your man, but you were their girl first. And their loyalty was to you.

Something for which you were exceedingly grateful.

“You got it – talk soon.” 

You end the call before settling in for the remainder of the drive. Not wanting to be alone with your thoughts, you quickly decide to turn on the radio – only to be surprised when Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” begins playing over the speakers.

“Wow.” You whisper with a shake of your head. “That is so not fair.”

Sometimes the gods possessed a real fucked up sense of humor.

Your bottom lip quivers as the lyrics hit home, hot tears blurring your vision. You let out an audible sniffle before dashing at them with your sleeve. But you don’t change the station. And you no longer try to stem the flow. Instead you finally give yourself over to the pain that was your heart breaking – piece by piece.

You’d talk to Andy in a couple of weeks. He’d give you space. He’d give you time. And if he didn’t want to work things out when it was all said and done…then you would have to find a way to live without him. And you would find a way.

But first, you had a plane to catch. And then you were gonna get yourself a margarita and – no – scratch that.

Make that a bottle of tequila.   

___

Five hours later…

Andy shoulders his way into his house from the garage, absentmindedly toeing off his shoes as he sorts through his mail. 

Bill. Bill. Junk. A Postcard from his Dentist. Another bill. And more junk.

With a grunt, he tosses the stack of unwanted papers onto the table. And then he spies the pink box resting on the counter. A smile curves its way across his handsome lips when he realizes that you must’ve stopped by at some point during the day. 

But he does find it rather odd that you wouldn’t have let him know. Sure, it was Valentine’s Day, but the two of you weren’t supposed to get together until this weekend. 

Still smiling, Andy makes his way over to the box of treats, humming a little tune as he goes. While he had a feeling something was going on with you lately, he’d simply chalked it up to stress. But he also knew that once he got you in his bed and settled himself between those gorgeous thighs, it was only a matter of time before he’d have you speaking in tongues…

Which would hopefully lead to you spilling your pretty little guts. So that he could finally try to fix whatever it was that kept making you seem so sad.  

He picks up the note, his head tilting to the side as he tries to make sense of the meaning behind your interesting dessert choice. Confused, he decides to read your message. With a sigh, he unfolds the piece of paper. Only to be caught off guard when a key falls out and onto the surface below, the sharp clatter making him jump.

“What the fuck?” He snarls as his eyes quickly scan the tear-stained piece of paper. “No. Oh no, baby girl…fuck no…” 

He could not fucking believe what he was reading. 

Andrew grips the edge of the counter as his legs threaten to give out underneath him. However, it’s not until the fourth reread that it all finally clicks into place.

You'd just tried to break-up with him. On fucking Valentine’s Day of all fucking days. But if you thought that leaving him a “Dear John” letter and a box of muffins before running off to god-knows-where was going to be the end of it, then well…the joke was on you. Because there was no way in hell he was ready to let you go. At least not without one hell of fight. 

"Alright." A dark chuckle escapes as he crumples the note in fist. Part of him wished that he still carried a lighter so that he could go outside and burn your fucking letter. “But make no mistake, sweetness, we’re not done here.”

However, Andrew Barber could be patient until he saw you again. He’d give you a couple days to get your mind right. But when he found you – and he would – he wasn’t going to stop until he had you back in his life and in his bed, right where you fucking belonged. 

You could count on that shit.

END

[livfastdieyoung69]

Can I pretty pls have a 90's edge x Fem reader where some people are scared of him but when he talks to the reader she says "You don't scare me" and it leads to fluffy with a kiss? Love your writing! 🥺

A NEWFOUND LOVE

(The Brood!Edge x Y/N)

“Um..excuse me?” A soft voice and a gentle tap on the shoulder brought Edge out of his conversation with Christian, making him turn around to find one of the new talents, Y/N. Eyes wide and unused to people approaching him and Christian, Edge was able to stutter out a yes with wide eyes.

“Sorry, I just can’t find the merch staff, I was supposed to grab a shirt from them. Do you know where they are?” No fear was clear in the voice or face, only confusion.

“I think um, I think they should be over that way.” Stuttering through his response, he quickly pointed down the hallway.

“Oh, okay, thank you! Sorry for bothering you.” Y/N took a few steps back, thinking the conversation was over before Edge had a chance to respond.

“No problem, we’re just not really all that, all that used to people..not being scared by us, I guess.” He chuckled awkwardly while he and Christian watched as their eyebrows crinkled with confusion and were quick to ask why.

“The whole Brood gimmick makes us a lot more intimidating than what we are.” Christian was quick to explain from next to Edge, a grin growing on both of their features.

“Yeah, what he said. I promise we’re not scary.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you’re intimidating at all! Actually, you’re quite nice. And pretty. Anyways, I gotta go find these guys, but thanks for all the help!” Before Edge had the chance to do anything but blush from their compliments, they were quickly leaving.

—————

“Hey, Edge! ‘Scuse me, Edge!” Y/N yelled through the overcrowded gorilla, shoving their way over to The Brood who had just finished a match. Edge stumbled around at the sound of them but he was unable to make out their voice in the crowd, so instead, he grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled them along. After making it to the trio's locker room, Gangrel and Christian were quick to leave the two outside the door.

“I just wanted to say that I met a lot of people today, and you were probably the nicest to me, so I just wanted to say thanks again.” Y/N’s praise put the grin and blush back onto his face.

“Oh! Nothing to thank me for, but you’re welcome. And, um, I think you’re pretty too.” Edge’s comments made Y/N equally as giddy as the big, blushing man inches away from them.

“You’re getting a lot of thanks out of me today, huh? Maybe I could..maybe I could thank you in a different way?” Y/N’s voice turned into a soft whisper as they moved in closer, heat creeping through both as they stood in the door way. Edge nodded his head, unable to find words.

Y/N moved in even closer, noses nudging and eyes meeting. Their hand moved to the back of his neck, his own coming to tangle with theirs, lips finding the soft skin of his cheek before they barely pulled away, noses still brushing.

“I got a ride with Trish, so I gotta go, but maybe we could meet up on Sunday after Heat?” They still whispered, fingers fiddling in his hold and giving his a quick squeeze, while the two grinned, ear to ear.

“Yeah. Yeah, that would be really nice.”

short but sweet :) idk im not in luv with it but its cute!

i did make it a lil cheek kiss just cuz idk it seems weird to me for them to meet and then boom their kissing like two paragraphs later

also payback omgg that was def one of the best ppvs this year, the cage match and the tag team match were absolutely gorgeous even if i dont like who has the titles now (if you couldn’t tell i am a huge judgement day hater. like i like them seperatly and irl, but altogether, i hate judgement day. I would explain y but it would be paragraphs long and i dont want to do that to yall

[quinloki]

I'm sorry in advance. (●^o^●)

1 & 26 for Izou, Marco, Rayleigh, and Ace, please.

xD Greedy! Alright, though, alright, let's do this

Why do you like or dislike this character?

This is... harder than expected XD

I like Marco because he's Marco like. Augh. Words are failing me right now I think XD He's just so calm, it's rare he loses his cool, he communicates so well T-T and he's hot. He's so hot. That voice, those hands, that height, those eyes... the talons. Gods have mercy.

Izou is just a beautiful man. Stunning. Such a brat. You just KNOW it too. It doesn't matter how graceful he is, he's a brat, and I love that. I love his strength, his power - how he's just like... dear words, I need you now, stop going away.

They're all just so complex - every fucking character in that show has more to them than just one thing or some gimmick - not even Buggy has a single layer to him, and I just--

Rayleigh is chill, and that experience and knowledge under the surface isn't hurting anything either. He's in the doghouse with me right now too, but he won't even stay there. You know he could remove a bra with one finger.

And Ace T-T Ace just deserves to be loved. All the love. all the hugs. They all belong to Ace. Poor, sweet little greasy desert rat T-T I wanna hug him.

(In my defense, today was my first day back to work after a month off, so I am slightly brain fried.)

We'll do 15 for the 26.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I've said before, I'm not a big canon x canon shipper, but this is too funny to pass up.

MarAce Marco/Izou/Thatch/Ace Izou/Marco Rayleigh/Marco

[topazadine]

Five Common Anxieties of Newbie Writers, Demystified

A simple post for today to address common concerns I have seen from younger writers over the years, which includes:

"Everyone else is so much better than me; I'm behind."

"I can't share my writing or someone will steal my idea."

"I am in direct competition with other writers; their gain is my loss."

"I shouldn't read while writing because it will ruin my unique voice."

"If I don't explain everything in meticulous detail, people won't understand my vision."

As always, this is my experience and my opinion as someone who has been writing seriously for about 15 years and reading, well, since I was a tiny baby. I also have several years of experience tutoring younger writers at both the K-12 and collegiate level.

Here goes!

1. "Everyone else is so much better than me; I'm behind."

You are not behind. Even if you start writing in your 60s, you are not behind. That's because there is no such thing as being behind in writing; you are where you are, and you'll only get further if you keep going.

Of course you're not going to write like Brandon Sanderson, or Tolkien, or Stephen King, or whoever when you're 20, because you're twenty. You just got out of high school two years ago and haven't even graduated college! These writers have decades on you and are naturally going to be better because they have had more time to learn.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You will not be happy if you are always comparing to yourself to every other writer and bemoaning your lack of experience.

As I have said multiple times throughout my blog, I encourage you to try to write 1 million words before you even think about publishing anything. Do fanfic, because then you can't publish it and you know you're just practicing. You will likely look back at where you started, with your first story, and go, "oh thank god I didn't try to publish that. I wasn't anywhere near ready."

And even then, you still will not be behind, because there's no one track toward success in publishing. You are just where you need to be right now, and you'll keep going where you need to go as long as you keep writing.

2. "I can't share my writing or someone will steal my idea."

I have seen a lot of this on writing subreddits. People will ask questions, but be intentionally vague about their plot because they are worried about someone else filching their idea and making it their own. However, they will refuse to share nearly anything useful, making it impossible to answer their question with any specificity.

Now yes, theft does happen. There was a horrendous story recently where an agent stole one of their author's ideas to give to another author, who then published faster because the agent had left Author 1 in Revision Hell on purpose. I'm not saying it never happens.

But the thing is that it is not the idea that makes any story special, it is the execution.

My Eirenic Verses series centers around poetry magic. That's the whole gimmick. But poetry magic has been done before to great effect by several other authors! There's a book called The Poet Empress out on sub that I'm hoping and praying will get published because I want to read it; everything about this story sounds AMAZING.

From the blurb, this book is vastly different from my own, which is a great thing. Both of us came up with this concept and took it in unique directions, giving readers more options for engage with poetry magic in completely different ways. And I love that!

Don't worry too much about people stealing your ideas. After all, your idea has been done dozens of times before already, even if you haven't been able to find an exact copy of the plot. We are all riffing off ancient plot forms and tales.

3. "I am in direct competition with other writers; their gain is my loss."

The joy of reading books is that you can read hundreds in a year if you want to. It is not like car sales, where people buy one single car every few years.

People buy books that they don't even intend to read; how many of us have dozens of books in our TBR pile that we'll probably never get to?

Yes, it's possible to lose out on competitions or publishing slots to other writers, but that is the nature of the economy, not the fault of any other writer. Placing yourself in opposition to a well-respected writer, especially one in your same niche, does you no favors.

Other writers are your peers, not your antagonists. No matter what you are writing, no one will do it quite like you, so you shouldn't worry if someone else's story is somewhat like yours. That just means that there is overlap between your audiences, and you should support them even more so that people like both of you.

The best way to be successful is to build community. People support those that they like and who are nice to them.

4. "I shouldn't read while writing because it will ruin my unique voice."

Your 'unique voice' is a mishmash of every other writer you have ever read because that is how learning works. You have absorbed the lessons of every other book you've put before your eyes (or into your ears), picked out what you liked, and left the rest. So yes, you do have a unique voice, but it is based on other writers, and the more you read, the more you refine that voice.

My favorite authors are Emile Zola, Willa Cather, Emily Dickinson, William Carlos Williams, Robert Frost, China Mieville, Terry Prachett, and Herman Melville. As a child, my favorite books were the Redwall series and The Unicorn Chronicles. My favorite nonfiction series is The Inspired Traveller's Guides by Sarah Baxter.

You can find all of those influences in my work, but you can also find dozens of other authors I have loved throughout my life. There are books that still haunt me today whose titles I can't even remember, just the concept or a specific scene.

My writing voice has become so strong because I like so many different kinds of writing and I have synthesized them all together. I learn something from every single book I read, even if it's just what not to do.

You can't become a strong writer if you don't read. It's essential to developing your voice. The more you read, the more you develop your voice, and the more that you can resist the urge to completely change your style based on what you are currently reading.

But you can only get to the point of having a strong, coherent voice by reading. So don't shy away from it.

5. "If I don't explain everything in meticulous detail, people won't understand my vision."

Here's a brutal truth: it doesn't matter whether other people see exactly what you see in your work. What matters is that they enjoyed what they saw. No one is going to have your exact same vision unless you turn your book into a movie.

Everyone's journey through a given book is influenced by their own life experiences. For example, if you asked a French person to describe a castle, they are going to say something completely different than what a Japanese person would say. What an Indian person envisions when you say "sword" is going to differ from what an English person thinks about. And that is fine and good!

You do not need to put your reader in a chokehold and make sure that they are seeing exactly what you see. This can be a huge turnoff to readers, especially if you do not present things in the proper order, because now they are constantly having to revise their setting with the new details you are providing.

Here, for example, is a description from my first book, 9 Years Yearning:

Every few steps, he ran across another example of a High Poet's work: ostentatious stone structures with smooth stucco sides, dramatic depictions of wild animals and fantastical beasts jutting from their surface. Others were more sculpture than home, tiny pebbles that slotted together to make a swirling mass of windows and doors. Goldnin, being one of the more well-heeled cities, had many wealthy merchants more than willing to spill quillim for a poetry-infused property.

Everyone who reads this is going to see different "wild animals" and "fantastical beasts." They are going to imagine the pebbles as different colors; maybe one person thinks they're all different shades that make gradations, while another wants them all to be tiny chips of quartz that sparkle in the sun.

I am fine with this. A story is a scaffold to allow readers to adorn with their own imagination, creating a personalized experience. I have given the reader some specific elements but left the rest vague so that they can envison what they want, and I'm okay with it not being exactly what I intended.

Once you have put a story out into the world, you're done interpreting it for the reader. It is now theirs to enjoy. They can do whatever they want with it, just like you can go buy something from the store and spraypaint it neon orange if you want to.

Your job is not to grab the reader by the face and tell them what you want them to see; it is to provide enough detail that they can see what they want to see. Giving up ownership like this allows you to make a story that isn't oversaturated with detail but still enables readers to have fun with it.

I hope this helped to ease some of your fears about writing. The most important part is to have fun, relax, and continue to learn all the time!

If you enjoyed this, maybe you will consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning! This gay coming-of-age romance follows two boys in a military academy as they learn the arts of love and war. It includes poetry magic, strong sibling bonds, and all the awkwardness that young romance entails.

[jones-friend]

Exactly one week ago…

…I started the Elden Ring DLC. Shadow of the Erdtree. Today I’ve finished the last major boss and completed it. All that’s left is to find any loot or face off against any other bosses or dungeons.

I have thoughts but its important to know I have platinum’d Bloodborne. I have a layer of patience with these kind of games you may not. Take my thoughts with a grain of salt, I enjoy speed and difficulty in Fromsoft games and I’m willing to put up with a lot of nonsense you may not tolerate.

I had an incredibly good time with SotE. Its bosses were showstoppers and its new weapons were genuinely unique and creative. I found some new mainstays and found some new spells to try out with other builds. I feel the Scadutree (shadow-tree) fragment system works, these fragments aren’t hidden if you’re exploring new areas they will pop up frequently. It makes it so level is irrelevant, its all about your build and the scadutree blessings.

I have more thoughts and spoilers below the cut. But this game has become a hot button in reference to its difficulty. As someone who ate up the old hunters dlc and ds3 fire fades edition I did not feel the difficulty was off kilter. Get some fragments by continuing into new areas.

What I will say is there’s a few bosses who have hitboxes that are not as tuned as we normally get from fromsoft designs. They’re the flagship of incredibly well made hitboxes and some enemies don’t have well tuned hitboxes. I will also say they repeat a gimmick too often of “you thought the boss’s attack combo was done? Wrong 4 more attacks”. The windows for punishing are pushed too small and the bosses get away with too many hits compared to your one attack you get in between. I think those are both valid criticisms.

Holy shit. I love so much of what they did in this dlc. From Midra to Messmer to Miquella every remembrance boss is a banger. This dlc has formed so many new core memories from turning the frenzied flame ending into a boss to stunningly beautiful rot saints and finger mothers.

Not to mention the level design. The specimen gallery is one of my favorite fromsoft levels of all time. Like an advanced research lab from bloodborne its a vertical tower. There are hanging statues and the hand of one seemed to be beckoning me so I took a leap, and I was correct. That was what they wanted me to think.

My build was Str Fai and I found a number of insanely fun weapons to use on ng+. The Light Greatswords are super fun to use especially with Wing Stance. The Blacksteel Hammer is crazy good at guard counters. The Greatsword of Damnation makes pvp so much fun and has the craziest tracking I’ve ever seen on a weapon art. There were also so many weapons outside my build that look crazy fun to use, from new rot incantations to intelligence twin light greatswords to a wide array of arcane based weapons.

When I discovered who the final boss was there were howler monkey sounds. Radahn was the only demigod we did not fight at full power and now we get to, just as I the player am at full power and that fight did not disappoint.

Theres so much richness to indulge in with the DLC and it absolutely rewards a curious mind. Its one of my favorite things fromsoft has released and after it marinates and I get time with it I’ll absolutely do it again.

[rainchyna]

𓆩♡𓆪 episode five: WRESTLING WAR I.

i fought for my life so that y’all can see this so y’all better like it because we will fight >:( this ep is pretty uneventful apart from the promo but it’s kinda boring so i don’t blame y’all if you don’t like it LMAO we could’ve had FOUR EPISODES by now but tumblr stay being the biggest mf opp

6:47 am, training.

the nWo formed two days ago.

it’s been a really long time since you’ve last seen producers, writers, Vince and others be so panicked. it all happened so quickly too, the last thing anyone expected was for Hulk to be the the third man of the faction. it’s not like they can change anything now.

a day that has training usually starts at five for you and Bret. when you both arrived, Randy was there too. the place was a mess. there were a lot of employees running by, paperwork for upcoming storylines was being thrown around, rooms being turned into meeting halls. Randy explained that Vince, apparently, had trapped some people with him since last night and they’ve been writing and rewriting Raw for hours.

“I’ve never seen him so stressed” Bret said as he laced up his boots again, “it’s like his whole head of hair turned white overnight”. you hum, laid out on the ring mat. this meant a lot for you, you had to reinvent your character. introduce new moves, come up with some catchphrases, design some proper ring gear. last thing you need right now is for the audience to get bored of you.

“y’know” you sat up, “back in Japan, when I was in a mixed team with Shinya, we used to do this move where he’d power bomb someone then set them up on the turnbuckle, then I’d hit a running frankensteiner out in the concrete. do you think that would be too much if i do it here?” you ask.

“you worked with Shinya Hashimoto?!” Randy asked, “yeah?” you answer, “didn’t you know that?” you ask. Randy shrugged, “mixed matches are basically unheard of here” he says. can’t blame him, he’s right.

“I don’t think it’ll be too much, considering what will happen for this next period of time. I think Vince will be open to any type of exciting change” Bret says.

you began thinking of new things to add to your character and ways to introduce yourself to the fans, because up until now your gimmick just seems to be a shell of who you were in Japan. maybe you should just use your first name? or talk a certain way? maybe a major gimmick change! hm…

“Y/n?!” Bret called out for you, “huh?” you were zoned out. you look at him and there suddenly was a wild Vince Mcmahon standing outside the ring. his appearance made you jump a little, his hair was an absolute mess, his under eyes were dark and his eyes were red. his button up was wrinkly and the stress of work was showing on him.

“are you okay?” you ask, he nods with a hum as he rubs his temples. “I need all three of you in the office” he says, voice raspier than usual.

as you four walk towards the office you feared the worse, it was obvious that Vince was not in a great in mood at all. you were scared he’d ask you to do something stupid, or to change your gimmick and make a joke out of you.

you exhale, it was Vince McMahon. only so much can go wrong.

Vince begins scrambling for some papers as soon as you enter the office, you, Bret and Randy cram into a random couch in the room. it was something you guys always unconsciously did, cramming in one spot when there’s plenty of room around you.

“here” Vince hands you a paper, you quickly grab it and both men lean in with you to read as well. you frown, the paper was split into two parts, and names were arranged in columns and rows. Vince had picked out the teams for you and Taker.

“I thought you were going to let us pick out our own teammates..?” you half ask, it’s not like you hated your teammates, but you would’ve liked to have picked them out yourself.

“well, they’ve already been selected.” Vince said. you wanted to make him let you pick, but you didn’t want to argue with him today. “okay” you respond.

“why is my name on there?” Randy asked, “wouldn’t that be unfair to the other team?”

“don’t worry, I have a plan for you” Vince said.

please let this go well.

“for tonight’s Raw, I wanna see if you can do an unscripted promo. Taker’s part has been printed out but we left your lines out of his version.” Vince says sitting behind his desk.

“are you sure?” you ask, he nods. “I wanna see if you’re as reliable on a mic as you are in the ring” he explains.

please let this go well.

“okay”

10:22 am, y/n’s locker room.

“which one goes better with my shorts?” you ask holding up two tops in front of your mirror, both strapless, one is red leather and the other black denim.

“hello?” you look behind you, Steve had passed out on the couch while Owen was trying to shove what looked like a pen up his nose. “guys!”

Steve loudly snores himself awake while Owen immediately tries to look innocent. “you’re really not helping” you put the clothes down. “w-what? no, no, I am” Steve sits up, you roll your eyes. “you fell asleep” Owen says, “and you were trying to put a pen up his nose!” you flip on a chair near you.

Steve turns to smack Owen but you quickly jump between them, “you touch my baby, and I’ll smack the accent out of your speech” you threaten while Owen sticks his tongue out at Steve. “whaddya need help with anyway?” Steve asked.

“I wanted to know what I should wear for tonight’s segment” you say, “hasn’t your official gear come in yet?” Owen asks and you shake your head. “that red shirt looks alright” Steve points to your pile of clothes that was almost on the floor. “this one?” you pick it up.

“yeah” he nods, “what do you think Owen?” you ask the blond, “yeah, I think it’ll look cool, wear it with dark pants” he suggests.

“should I wear heels?” you ask, “high heels?” they both ask. “aren’t they a bit impractical?” Steve asks, “yeah, but we’re only doing a promo later, I’m not wrestling tonight” you reason. they both shrug, “go for it” Steve says.

you put on the outfit and your shoes, then unintentionally started an argument about cowboy hats between a texan and a canadian. Steve was raging about how you should wear a white one because it’s ‘classic’ and Owen wanted you to wear a red one to match your shoes.

never in your life did you ever think you’d hear Steve call Owen ‘maple syrup boy’.

“and what the hell do you know about cowboy hats, boy?!” Steve spat, “more than ya fuckin’ do!” Owen faked a southern accent. “guys?” you interrupt, “a red one would look better!” Owen said, “the hell it ain’t” Steve crossed his arms.

“guys!” you yell, they finally pay attention to you. “there’s hats of all colours in the dressing room” you explain. Owen gets up and grabs your arm, “then we’ll go and see which one looks better” he says.

hilariously, they’re both angrily stomping their way to the dressing room with you following closely behind them.

the door flies open and thank god there’s only two people in the room, it was Bret and Randy. y’all would’ve looked crazy in anyone else’s eyes.

as both men continue to argue while pulling out random hats from the accessories’ closet, Bret and Randy look at them confused, as if you could explain anything without them giving you their ‘really?’ faces.

you go and stand next to them, “Vince rewrote Raw” Bret said, your eyes widen as you look at him. “what do you mean he rewrote it?” you ask. you were supposed to be improvising, you weren’t worried that much, but you still wanted to know. “he printed you a promo I think” he added.

now you needed to know.

“when did he do that?” you ask, “like an hour ago” Randy said, “and why didn’t he tell me?” you sigh. “you should talk to him, me and Steve have a match later and he rescheduled it like five or six times so far” Bret explained.

you groan, head falling into the palm of your hand. “no I insist!” Steve’s voice bellowed behind you, a white cowboy hat was suddenly placed aggressively on your head. “not now, Austin” you mumble. “he rescheduled our match again” Bret told him, “jeez, what’s going on with him today?” Steve asks.

you leave the dressing room and head towards the office, heels clicking against the floor. the place was quite, it was still relatively early, only staff in sight. you knock the office’s door before entering. Vince, Pat and a producer were in the room, papers were scattered everywhere, and the atmosphere was tense.

“am I interrupting something?” you close the door behind you, the staff member excuses himself before walking past you and exiting the room. “no, not really” Pat said.

“I heard you changed tonight’s episode” you began, “ah, right. I forgot to tell you” Vince said as he shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. he picked up a paper and held it out in your direction.

you grab the paper examining it, “keep it with you” Pat began, “we still don’t know if we should let you improvise just yet” he adds. you sigh once more, “the decision is still not set though” Vince says. what the hell?

do they want you to improvise or not?

“I guess..”

you didn’t want to start anything with Vince today, the man seems to be going through it. you began walking back towards the door, “y/n” Vince stopped you, “please do your best tonight”, you raise an eyebrow before quickly nodding. “of course” you smile. “nice hat by the way”.

you wanted to grab some coffee to rehearse your lines with since you were feeling a bit tired. you immediately notice Chyna and Lita sitting at a table having breakfast. “where have you two been?” you ask as you sit at their table.

“we just arrived” Lita explained, “and I heard Vince is not having a good day” she adds as she pokes around her pancakes. “oh trust me, he not” you chuckle as you begin reading your lines.

it was generic promo, nothing too crazy, apart from making fun of Taker every now and then. “love the outfit by the way, especially the hat” Chyna said as she drank some orange juice, “you should’ve seen the war that happened for me to wear it” you respond.

“war?” Lita laughs, you nod.

you three just continue chatting and talking about your day, which was a bit hectic so far. “y’all wanna go out later?” you ask, “I don’t really have anything later”. Lita hums with a mouthful, nodding her head. “yeah, this day’s been quite something” Chyna says, “true honestly, Vince is going off of rage autopilot” Lita adds.

the man is clearly trying to get rid of the kiddy, family friendly taste the WWF has to counter the nWo’s renegade antics. every once in a while you could hear him yelling about something being ‘not controversial enough!’.

poor Vince, someone get him an ice cream.

“so a bar later?” Chyna asks, “yeah” you all agree.

3:21 pm, dressing room.

what was it with you and Shawn always being the dressing room together? it felt like you were destined to meet every time here.

“are you following me?” Shawn asked, you slowly turn to him giving him a mean side eye. “I came here first..?” you say putting down your blush palette. you did a plain look today, basic base and some highlight. you added three red rhinestones to the outer corner of your eyes.

“you’re always here when I’m here” he said, brushing his hair. “coincidences happen” you spray your face with setting spray. “nah, I think you’re following me” he reassures and you roll your eyes.

“why would I follow you?” you ask, “’cause you want me” he smirks as he flexes in front of the mirror, ‘I swear my eyes will fall out of my head’ you think. how many times do you have to go over this conversation?

you groan loudly then breath out, calming down. “for the last time Shawn, I don’t want you” you explain. “eeehhh, they all say that at first” he laughs. “annoying ass bitch” you mumble.

you grab a random hairbrush and before you can touch your hair, Shawn immediately grabs it out of your hand. you groan, “give that back! why do you always take my stuff, man?!” you try to swat it away from him, but fail.

“I wanna brush my hair!” he laughs, “you just did your hair!” you pull on his arms, “Shawn give it back!”

he grabs one of your arms and pulls it behind your back, “Michaels, I swear to god-” you begin, he chuckled. “what are you gonna do, hm?” you wriggle in his hold.

“just give me the fucking brush back” you push against him, “or what?” he asks. you roll your eyes,

“Shawn” you warn, “pretty girl” he taunts.

you manage to break away from him and hit with a half assed upper cut. he quickly lets go of the brush and you grab it away from him. “stop with this highschool jock shit, I will break your fucking nose” you threaten.

“I’d love if you do that” he smirks, you stare at his stupidly punchable face, you raise your finger to say some smart shit but stay quite.

“you’re really fucking annoying” you mutter, he steps closer to you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “and you’re really fucking pretty” he says.

pushing him away, you roll your eyes again.

10:28 pm, RAW <Live>

you were in the main event tonight, the last half hour is all yours. the segment tonight was to determine you and Taker’s groups. simple.

you were rightfully very excited, this was your first feud and you were going up against the big leagues, this was going to be fun. everyone was crammed in gorilla, you look back at the men and women and you slightly cringe. get nice and cozy in there guys and pray that each one of you showered, because they’re about to be here for a long time.

you felt giddy, the type of happiness that had you giggling to yourself. Taker clearly noticed, your energy was quite infectious and he couldn’t help but crack a smile himself. “well, someone’s happy” he crossed his arms. “dude, this is gonna be cool as fuck” you smile, there’s a sudden tug on your arm and you’re yanked to side.

“y/n listen” it was Vince, he startled the hell out of you. “fuckin’ hell, Vince” you place a hand over your chest. “the promo we gave you earlier? forget about it” he said, and you look at him wide eyed, “what?” you ask. he nods, “I want you to improvise” he explains.

your mind immediately felt like that fuzzy, black and white screen that a t.v displays when he it’s disconnected. you had came up with some lines when were still going to improvise earlier in the day but you threw out most of them, not thinking much of what will happen.

“and you’re telling me this now?!” you ask, “I know, I know, but pass it off for tonight. I’ll pay you back” he apologetically says. you sigh.

and just like a switch had been turned, and of your excitement suddenly fizzled out.

this was your first feud and you were going up against the big leagues, hopefully this is fun.

you stood by the ramp and a staff member counted you down until your music hit, you fixed your hat and threw your championship over your shoulder as the crowd popped for you. you get in between the ropes and into the middle of the ring, holding your championship up high. a ring side staff member handed you microphone and the crowd settled down quietly.

“so everyone knows about my little situation with The Undertaker. we’re both backstage, he thinks i’m being rude, we almost fight, and all that, you know what happened, whatever, right?” you begin, “but me personally, I really wanna fight that guy, like what’s not good enough about this?” you ask pointing to yourself and the crowds cheers.

“exactly!” you smile fixing your hat, “okay, now everyone listen” and the crowd quite down again. “I wanna issue a challenge to The Undertaker, Taker, I know you’re back there and I know you can hear me. I want you to listen, so listen carefully - actually, why don’t you come out here?” you ask and the crowds pops.

you wait, everyone waits - and waits, you begin getting nervous, yeah you’ve been trying your best to keep the crowd invested in what you were saying, but this wasn’t supposed to happen. scripted or not, he was supposed to come out immediately.

everyone is waiting, still waiting and commentary are starting to question whether or not The Undertaker is coming out.

“look man, I get you walk slowly but hurry up now.” you say. you lean against the ropes and begin chatting with the people at the front row, damn where is he?

“he’s scared of you!” the girl you were talking to yells, “yeah! he sold out!” they guy next to her agrees.

they both begin chanting ‘YOU SOLD OUT!” and those around them follow suit. it took away the nervous smile you had one and replaced it with a genuine one.

the lights dimmed down and first dong in Taker’s theme song was heard. however, he didn’t get the cheers he usually got, instead, he was drowned in the “YOU SOLD OUT!” chants.

one couldn’t tell by the Deadman’s face but he was raging on the inside, not only were management backstage siding with you, but now the fans were too.

he steps into the ring and is handed a microphone as well, “whatever it is that you want to say, or challenge me for, do it now. you’re wasting my time” he said, and the boos he was met by were unimaginable.

“oh, i’m the one wasting your time?” you spat, “so I was the one who took one hundred years to get to the ring?” and crowd cheers so for you. “don’t get smart with me now, little girl” he orders and you shrug.

“just stating the obvious” you say, “now, as I was saying. my challenge for you is that we form our individual teams, people to fight each other. obviously because we can’t wrestle since that’s banned or .. something like that, but our teams can go through something like a tournament to see who comes out on top” you were immediately getting into the details of it all, this segment was already dragging.

the crowd listened closely to every word you said, interested in your offer. Taker raises the microphone to his mouth, “go on” he says.

“we’ll pick out our teams, men and women in both so that it’s fair, and we’ll go at it” you explain. “and what does the winner get?” Taker asks.

“the winner will be in Survivor Series as the main event!” Randy exclaims.

everyone’s attention and cheers are now diverted to the announcer’s desk, Randy tips his hat at both of you and you smile. “you heard the Macho man, is that a deal for you?” you ask.

Taker doesn’t answer you. he’s silent for a while and once again, the crowd is annoyed at his slowness. “oh brother” you groan.

you heard it when it began, the “YOU’RE SCARED OF Y/N!” chants. they almost make you break character, but you tilt your hat and pretend to admire your championship to hide the grin on your face.

“is that what you think?!” Taker yells at the crowd, “yes, you have a deal, Y/l/n!” he bellows and you push your hat back with a smile. the crowds pops.

“how about we pick our teams now?” you ask looking the crowd who cheer again. “Randy?”, Randy pulls out what looks like a bowl from under the table and jumps into the ring with you two.

“the bowl has papers that have wrestlers names in them, each of you gets to pick four. Y/n, you get two women and two men. Undertaker, you get two women and two men, both teams will consist of five members, are we clear?” Randy asks and you both nod.

the crowd didn’t even question how Randy knew about your challenge, they didn’t even care that he knew that there will teams and that he prepared. they wanted to know who was in the teams.

you dig in the bowl, mixing the paper around a bit before picking one out and unfolding it.

“Chyna” you smile, and the crowd cheers, they cheer even louder when she comes out to stand with you in the ring.

Taker picks out a paper and quickly unfolds it, “Luna Vachon” he reads and the crowd cheers again.

you pick, “Sensational Sherri”.

Taker picks, “Lita”

you pick, “Owen Hart”

Taker picks, “Shawn Michaels”

you pick, “Bret Hart”

last pick goes to Taker, “Steve Austin”.

the ring was now filled with wrestlers, Chyna, Sherri, Owen and Bret on your side, while Luna, Lita, Shawn and Steve were on Taker’s side.

“all is fair in love and war, including this one if that’s what we’re calling it.” Randy began, “now I’m gonna ask you two to shake hands. to vow on professionalism in the name of wrestling, no tricks, no lying, no cheating, no stealing. can you?”

you and Taker glare at each other, an intense stare down. you stick your hand out, he stares at it then takes it in his.

“call it wrestling war one then” he says.

little did he know that the reason your team was giggling among themselves and why crowd behind you were chanting your name was because you had crossed your fingers behind your back.

it’s on.

still there was one thing left.

the bowl had one last paper in it, you noticed it. Taker noticed, the crowd did to.

“who’s remaining in there?” Taker asks as he points to the bowl. you grab the paper and unfold it, your brows furrowed with confusion.

“Macho Man Randy Savage” you read and the crowd goes wild, while everyone in the ring looks at each other confused.

“now hold on, hold on, hold on. who’s side are you on?” you ask, and Randy laughs as he begins to exit the ring.

“can’t spoil the fun now, can I?” he smiles.

[metalkitty21]

Investigations thoughts

Finished Investigations 1 today! It was great. Kay and Lang were just as loveable as I expected them to be, it was great seeing Franzy, Gumshoe, and even characters like Ema and Larry who you still see in Apollo Trilogy. Characters I didn't expect to like such as Badd (@cactours knows how badd I am for this man) and even Palaeno. Logic is a very fun gimmick, and all the references are so fun to see.

Case rankings are: Turnabout Reminiscence (AAI1-4) Turnabout Airlines (AAI1-2) Turnabout Ablaze (AAI1-5) Turnabout Visitor (AAI1-1) The Kidnapped Turnabout (AAI1-3)

Detailed spoilers under thread!

Reminiscence is definitely the strongest case of the game. Seeing baby Miles and Franzy, and baby Kay. It's a great set up for Ablaze and Calisto's return, and seeing the Judge and the brief appearance of Lang was fun. Kay also kicking Edgeworth in the dick was extremely funny. It's a strong case with amazing characters although god Deid Mann is horrible. It introduces Tyrell (who I've already written 3000 words for) and it's nice to see how Gumshoe and Edgeworth came to be the little duo that they are. Airlines was another good case! Teneido is...something /neutral. The murder being in a lift is fun, and seeing Edgeworth getting tied up on a plane is funny. Cammy is a fun culprit, although she is a bit obvious, her personality shift I wasn't expecting. It also sets up the smuggling ring very well, with the statue and the victim being interpol. Despite everyone's hatred for it, I do like Ablaze! As a case 5, it's definitely weak. The only case 5 I think is weaker is Great Ace Attorney 2. The story itself is very good. Shih-na was obviously but still so well executed. Return of Larry is fun, Kay gets into trouble because of course. Palaeno I was so suspicious of at first but by the end he really grew on me and he was just a silly guy. Coachen being dead was fun and the second victim, while definitely unnecessary I feel, was a fun callback to 3-2. Alba is a great villain, and his transformation is very good too. It does drag on though. I feel like if Alba's downfall was cut shorter it would be a much stronger case. Badd being a member of Yatagarasu didnt cross my mind once, but his reveal is so well done in the mix of Kay being at gunpoint. Lang getting shot and limping off with Shih-Calisto was fun, especially when he returns like five minutes later. ALSO MISSILE!! I hc the entire time Edgeworth and Lang are debating while Missile is around Lang is holding him like Gumshoe is in the key art. Case 1 isn't no 4-1 but it's a good intro case. Having elements of the case link in with the overall story (Badd putting Edgy at gunpoint) is fun. It does have the troupe of showing the killer but even without that it's case one so it being Portsman is kind of obvious without the cutscene anyway. Maggey getting into shit again is always fun, her and Gummy are always adorable. Boy Kidnapped Turnabout is rough. I like how it introduces Kay and Lang, Meekins returning is fun, Ema's very brief appearance. Little Thief is so fun. That's about all I like about the case. I think the mystery is obvious, Lauren is extremely uncomfortable, Lance is annoying, the case drags on unnecessarily. It's a weak case with obnoxious one-off characters.

[wisismydumpstat]

Tell us everything you feel about Ascians and Shadowbringers, do! You only get to do this for the first time once after all, and we're all dying to know what you think is going on, what you are pretty sure is going on, what you are positive is NOT going on and every speculation and heart palpitation you got so we can all bask in the confusion and hand flapping by proxy.

Sorry about the late reply, this week has been A Week!

I was kinda waiting until I was a bit closer to the end of 5.0 before doing this, but it sounds fun and I think it's funnier if I do this now and then I keep updating all the things I was wrong about as I get closer and closer to the reveals!

So! I am currently on quest Return to Eulmore, 24 quests left to reach the end of Patch 5.0, and those are my opinions and feels about... stuff!

Spoiler-filled text dump incoming!

Ascians Ascians are cool! :D I'm a sucker for immortals of any kind, I do like their possession gimmick, I like that they're way too intense no matter what they're saying. I don't particularly sympathize with their revealed backstory so far, and I'm glad the game brought up the whole "Cool motive, still murder" aspect of it. And that's just assuming I actually trust Emet-Selch, which would be a stretch.

An Emet-Stretch.

Please laugh.

2. Shadowbringers

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I am really enjoying this expansion. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone at this point that I greatly enjoy drama and emotional pain, and this expansion is giving a lot of both in a very realistic way. I like the WoL's dialogue prompts getting angrier and snarkier as they get fed up with everything, I like people getting tired of all the secret-keeping and the moral ambiguity (Great for a plot, bad for a team), I like how hot Urianger is now, I love Alisaie having a well deserved turn on the spotlight, I like how hot Urianger is now, I like the whole "Ardbert and the WoL are friends now thanks to their mutual existential crisis" arc, I freaking love that Thancred is a dad now, and HAVE YOU SEEN URIANGER THIS EXPANSION??

3. Random speculation and thoughts!

I would like to punch Emet-Selch on the face. Amazing voice actor tho.

The whole absorbing-light-thingie is clearly bad. I would love to have something like an inner soul battle or something to destroy your corruption. Very Kingdom Hearts.

I... don't know what to think about the whole "Vauthry controls Sin Eaters" thing, but the way this expansion is going I fully expect to get into Eulmore and discover he has a disgusting one chained in a dungeon or something. Either that or Eulmore itself is a sin eater somehow. That'd be cool.

I don't trust the Crystal Exarch. At all. I would also like to punch him on the face, once I'm done with Emet-Selch. Which, admittedly, will take a while. This game has taught me that people with hoods and/or any way to cover their face are evil. Privacy bad.

Hydaelyn being a Primal makes So. Much. Sense. I was suspecting something was afoot since I realized every other deity and figure of legend was just a primal, but somehow I never made the connection.

Does that make the Echo just a very polite way of tempering?? Are the random flashbacks actually a "Go do my will" tactic instead of just a convenient plot artifact??

Someday I'll get Titania's theme out of my head.

It isn't gonna be today.

Help.

FALALALALALA

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Fight out vivid colors! - Chapter 11

Translation of chapter 11 of the event ‘Fight out vivid colors!’ from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Reporter: “Now then, this edition’s highlight of the street fair, the real life Splashy Colors event is going to begin at last!”

Reporter: “And the one match to keep your eyes peeled for will be the hero's showdown!”

Reporter: “The four heroes of Yellow West will be split up in two pairs and going up against each other! No doubt it will turn into a heated battle!!”

Reporter: “Now then, let us introduce the players!”

Reporter: “With the athletic abilities of a wolf, he’ll liven up Splashy Colors like no other! Dino Albani!!”

Dino: Everyone, thanks for all the cheers! I won’t lose today's battle no matter what! 

Reporter: “Paired up with the youngest of the four, and packed with potential, Leonard Wright Junior!”

Junior: Hehe, I’ll show ya my playstyle★

Reporter:  “The other players against them are---”

Reporter: “The self-indulgent hero Keith Max! Although lately he’s been hosting a cooking show, and he’s rumored to be a man that gets the job done when he has to!”

Reporter: “Show us how you’re part of the Miracle Trio!”

Keith: Aah~ don’t go getting yer hopes up for me. Ain’t gonna lose this fight though. 

Reporter: “Paired up with, the one whose looks are enough to heat up the venue… looking cool as ever! Faith Beams!”

Faith: Aha, those are some amazing cheers. I’ll do my best, in moderation♪

Reporter: “Teams, take your weapons and move to your assigned positions!”

Reporter: “The rules are simple, cover the stage in ink during the allotted time, and secure the encampment. The team with the most ground covered will win!”

Faith: Alright, we act as planned. Keith

Keith: Yeah

Dino: Junior, I’lll leave Faith to you

Junior: Yeah. If we take him out it’ll be harder for Keith to get around

Dino: Most likely. I think tearing down Faith’s strategy will be our road to victory

Reporter: “Now then, ready?”

Reporter: “Go!”

Junior: First I’ll have to find that shitty DJ---

Junior: Woah!?

Faith: Aha, you’re full of openings, Ochibi-chan

Junior: Damn you, stay put!

Faith: No way♪

Junior: Ooaah!?

Junior: FUCK!! You bastard, ain’tcha enjoying yourself too much now!!!!

Junior: Goddamnit------! Gonna bring you down as if my life depends on it!

Reporter: “Both teams are securing the encampments with ink! While using the gimmicks and skillfully moving around, we have Faith Beams!”

Reporter: “He has adapted to the game, and the way he plays is akin to an expert, what a brilliant performance!”

Junior: Grrrr…! Fight fair and square you shitty DJ!!

Dino: “Junior, calm down! Faith’s more used to playing than I thought he would be”

Junior: I know how to play the game too….

Junior: I’ll try using these gimmicks too! I’ll drive him into a corner like Gray had taught me to before!

Dino: “Got it. Don’t overdo it”

-

Keith: (Haven’t run into Dino so far… can’t be careless though)

Faith: “Keith, are you sticking to the plan?”

Keith: Yeah, I am I am. How’s it over there?

Faith: “I’m in a bit of a pinch. Ochibi-chan’s coming at me with gimmicks now.”

Keith: Oi oi, ya good?

Faith: “Hmmm~ I haven’t closed up on Dino yet. I wanna keep an eye out just for a little longer, can I leave it up to you, Keith?

Keith: Good grief… Well, gotta fight him anyway. I’ll bring ‘im down by my own hands

Faith: “Good luck. It’ll be our win as long as we stop Dino.”

Reporter: “The battle is getting more and more heated up!! Both teams have seemingly gone on the offense!”

Reporter: “Dino Albani, who has been sticking with securing the encampment, is finally on the move!”

Reporter: “And on the other side Keith Max had suddenly changed the way he was acting a few moments ago!!”

Dino: It’s on, Keith!

Reporter: “Dino Albani has gotten a hold of Keith Max!”

Keith: Spared me the trouble of searching for ya…

Keith: Bring it on, Dino!!

Dino: Haaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Keith: ….!!

Reporter: “Both are locked into a heated exchange of shots head-on! Who will come out unscathed….!?”

[retphienix]

I haven't played too much today thus far since I'm confined to solo queue and solo play today (oof) but some opinions on some of the adjustments.

Short version: Looking forward to much much more and thoroughly enjoying what I've tried on difficulties 4~8 range (I don't like soloing helldive since I feel tunneled to stealth and jack of all trades loadouts- so not bothering)

Punisher: MUCH better place than it once was and arguably is just where it should be in terms of how primaries are balanced. It does it's job and does it well as an ammo stable slightly harder hitting but slightly more accuracy demanding Breaker. I think I love it? But I am still holding out for the pseudo med armor pen of the slugger once I get that thing (bought it while typing this).

Heavy Laser: MUCH more fun and useful than it was. I actually never considered the "intended use" the devs claimed for pre-patch, it was a damn poor version of a Machine Gun- infinite ammo or not. But as a medium armor pen weapon it definitely shows a lot more promise and effective utility in a loadout.

But.

It kinda still falls into a middle ground between "swarm clearing" and "heavy targeting" that's a bit awkward- definitely has potential in a squad but not something I would recommend to anyone playing solo like I was.

It instantly melts through any medium armor targets like hefty bugs or most bot targets, but it's still entirely useless against heavy armor and as such struggles to tickle chargers outside of post-charge which is the same period of time when literally any weapon can tear them down so- it has found "a place" but that place is strictly medium armor clearing and slight ammo efficiency buff to your other weapons. DECENT buff, definitely needs some more in my opinion- perhaps a complete rework of lasers in general would help as some have posed that "heat" weapons should melt off armor with extended contact. Purely hypothetical, but that'd do it.

Stick to unsafe-charged railguns for heavy stuff, if you're so inclined. (or any other option, I'm just pointing at the recently-brought-in-line-but-still-extremely-effective option)

Flamethrower: 10x more fun and effective, still demands team play or it slacks. The thing does nearly immediately kill anything in its flames that isn't heavily armored. Not sure what people claiming it does well against chargers are on about- unless they mean in team play where nothing else is involved.

In a "literal 1 v 1" with no distractions I think it'd do alright- it acts like the arc thrower in just "doing damage" and not super caring about the armor, but just like the arc thrower it's not an armor destroying monster- it takes TIME to kill the charger (10~ shots of an arc thrower can do it and I find that far more reliable than using a flamethrower).

But, I was solo and dealing with swarms AND chargers, so maybe in that 1v1 scenario it can melt their health bar reasonably, I can't say after 1 field test.

Now, the flamethrower does not in any way need to be an armor killer, I'm just mentioning it as it's one of the two things I tested against. It's MILES better against adds now, but it's not magically a charger killer- it just "can" do the job. Good buff! Still holding out that they implement some CC to fire damage so that enemies are staggered/scared by flames!

120kg barrage: Eeeeh. It's definitely 300% better than it was, for reference the 120 and 380 were fucking useless prior- their gimmick of "A barrage of explosions over a HUGE area" just didn't serve a real purpose in gameplay- not to mention they didn't even, you know, "barrage" an area, they kinda just went "This 9000 square feet area? We're gonna drop... hmmm.... 3 fire crackers in there randomly. Hope that helps!"

NOW, the 120 is actually pretty nice at softening up some objectives because it actually stayed near the intended target area. I tossed one onto 2 different egg batches and saw it genuinely soften up the area- nearly solo'd one 40~ egg batch on its own while killing a lot of the enemies in the area and even knocking out a nest or two I believe. It ACTUALLY serves a nice purpose of "slightly big area getting softened up".

Now, the utility of that depends on what other strategems people bring, but I know my preference for such things would pick something like the orbital barrage for its spammable cannon spray over this thing- but at least it WORKS now- I can see this actually helping!

Shield backpack: It's still insanely good. I genuinely think this is "almost" the perfect nerf because I can't say I think it's entirely overpowered anymore, but I can say it's still an incredibly versatile "get out of jail free" card that skips staggers and damage more often than it doesn't.

I genuinely think increasing its recharge delay in and out of "shield break" did well to make it no longer a borderline invincibility tool that you feel obligated to have at all times on higher difficulties- opening the way to more backpack options in my opinion. Kinda.

Because I said "almost". It's still an insanely useful tool and I still can't rightly say I'd prefer a backpack weapon over it, but perhaps I'm being a coward for disliking sudden slows from hunter tongues. In truth, that's a skill issue now ain't it, I simply think until we have more options to avoid stagger/slow or "ignore a damage source every now and then" like the shield does- the backpack will remain HIGHLY valuable to almost-if-not-certain overpowered degrees.

Still a good nerf in my opinion.

Liberator Concussive: It just got a name change don't go expecting anything. It's still bad and nothing changed beyond getting a much better name.

Railgun: I don't use railgun like at all, but I know what it did (and used a handful of times) prior to the patch and I have seen/heard what it does post patch. Sounds like it now HAS to overcharge to unsafe ranges to accomplish the same thing it did pre-patch in safe.

So like.

That means it's literally the same as it was pre-patch except you have to put some skill, timing, and positioning (to have time to charge) into using it, lol, sounds like a good nerf to me. If you want backpack-less armor pen with ammo to spare then it's still the tool to pick, you just have to use unsafe all the time now which seems more than fair when every other weapon has to be used intelligently to succeed. lmao

Breaker: It literally lost 3 rounds and some max ammo, big whoop lol

Still need to test the 380 and I plan to run the railgun for a few 7-8-9 runs to get a real feel for this new "actually try" era of railgun, but overall I like most of what we got adjusted.

Oh, and the spray and pray, but I'm not holding my breath much. I mean it's DEFINITELY gonna be better than the unusable state it was in, but it's also just not the weapon I'd strive to use much anyway so I'll certainly test it but I don't expect much.

I'm still looking forward to MUCH more in terms of balance adjustments, as I think many are, but I enjoyed what's here.

Also armor works now. It's underwhelming, but I'll be completely honest, I kind of expected as much because speed > armor in 90% of games so I figured armor would get fixed and still not really impact higher difficulty play much.

Maybe later adjustments will make it matter more? But for now it's still "Be fast, bro." and that's fine enough.

[the-arcade-doctor]

We’ve been telling you since the beginning. THE BEGINNING OF YALL RELATIONSHIP because we knew Dashes would do this. Things like “she doesn’t love you” or “ she sucked my dick”. All to get you to remove her from your life. And you didn’t see it. We’re not stupid, Jay. If we just told you straight up told you “Dashes will kill you” We’d fucking die. So we left hints. We tried to get you so that you don’t trust her. And you never realized. You were Blinded.

You’re blinded, Jay. Blinded by love. We were too, at first. We got y’all together, and y’all seemed happy so we didn’t notice. But the cracks started to show. Not in the relationship, but her own cracks. So we started to deteriorate you too. So y’all would separate. But y’all were blinded.

We knew that, yes, Dashes loved you. But was either 1 or a million, so we tried everything we could. And yet, you couldn’t figure it out. One million lives. One million innocent lives because you couldn’t decide. One million lives from your own pathetic, selfish reasons. One million lives because of one fucking chatterbox you couldn’t get enough of. One million lives…because you were blinded

And you still think it’s Ast- No. I’m breaking character for this but I don’t care. I was Astrid. I was the anon you assimilated. I was Chaznon. I was Every little bit who tried to make you believe she didnt love you, I was the ones who tried other ways to break you, I WAS FUCKING THE ONES WHO TRIED TO CHEER YOU UP TO SEE IF IT WAS WORKING. Hell, I was even here BEFORE dashes existed. I was here waaaaay back. I. Was. The. Ones. Who. Were. Horny. For. You. And to think you never knew, never suspected. Adrenaline was the only one I didn’t do, and he was caught. Dumbass.

Remember this?

We remember you…

YEAH, ALSO ME. THEY WERE ALSO SUPPTO DETER BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED. I EVEN GOT Z IN IT. And yet. You never saw. You never looked into it. Why? BECAUSE YOU WERE BLINDED

All my work…ruined. Plans failed. All the gimmicks I was supposed to do, ruined by you. You’re not a coward. You’re just dumb. You couldn’t realized after everything I did. So. You can probably guess who I am now. Would be a shame if you didn’t. Because if you couldn’t, you would always be… blinded…

[ oh, well, congrats! you won! i'm this close to ditching her after all the bullshit that happened today. ]