#//THAT is v special and only for Very Particular cases

[dutybcrne]

The only way Kaeya would willingly announce he’s in a relationship is a nonverbal, very subtle gesture of his earring changing to match the color associated to to his significant other

[scudslut]

A New Years Surprise 🎀

daryl x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, poorly written smut, oral (fem-receiving), unprotected p in v, porn with some plot lol

a/n: i know i’m a little late but happy new years everyone!:) thought i’d start off on the right foot this year with some Daryl lovin<3 also don’t mind my writing i’m just getting back into it so i’m a bit rusty:/

“God, you’re such a dumbass,” you muttered to yourself, cringing at the reflection staring back at you.

Currently, you were a mess.

Tonight was Alexandria’s supposed ‘New Years Eve’ celebration, like we actually had anything to celebrate or look forward to.

There were always those few people you’d come across over the years, that had somehow managed to keep track of the time passed and as it turns out, Alexandria’s people were very serious when it came to sticking to the old worlds holidays and traditions.

Hell, they’d host parties and backyard shindigs on a regular bases, no prompt needed.

It was bizarre, and even after a full year living here, you still weren’t used to it.

Deep down, a small sliver of you agreed that it was something special about this place. That it somehow kept the hopeful humanity glimmering inside the residents. But the larger, much more sceptical side of you, couldn’t help but notice the flaws of the idea and the dangers of false hope.

Or maybe it was just because you looked fucking ridiculous trying to play dress up.

Either way, you hated the celebrations.

This one in particular though, caught you off guard.

You hadn’t payed much attention to New Years before the world ended, and just assumed that would be the same now; but when you caught wind of the party, you felt your stomach bubble in excitement.

And for one reason only.

Daryl.

You knew Daryl was an absolute sucker for dainty dresses and lingerie and you hadn’t ever gotten the chance to wear something like that for him. But a few days prior, you had stumbled across a small shopping mall on run and found this adorable matching light pink set and had to stuff it away in case the opportunity to surprise him presented itself.

Well, here it was.

And man was that excitement rapidly turning into a full blown panic attack.

Running your fingers through your hair haphazardly, you studied your appearance in the mirror.

You’d only so far put on the lingerie and a small black skirt and you already felt confined and self conscious. The straps weren’t sitting right, the cups of your bra were too big, causing weird awkward gaps.

Sighing, you close your eyes in defeat, resting your head in your hands.

This was just awful.

You could already hear the beginnings of the party going, music and laughter flowing in through your slightly cracked window and it only caused you to sink further into yourself.

You felt your mind slip into your self deprecating thoughts as you began to tune out the world around you, missing the soft creaks of footsteps on the wooden floored hallway.

The door of your shared room was wide open, as it was only the two of you that occupied the small house.

Daryl took you in for a moment, leaning against the doorframe observing your defeated aura silently.

He immediately knew what was bothering you, he could read you like a book at this point. He crept up behind you, gently touching your shoulder as to not frighten you from your thoughts.

Jumping slightly, your eyes flew open and landed on those deep familiar blue ones you adored, staring back at you through the mirror.

His natural scent caught your nose and your body subconsciously began to ease, slumping back into his chest.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you home so early,” you whisper to him as you notice his eyes drift down your body.

You wrap your arms around yourself, not wanting him to see your failed attempt at a surprise and be disappointed.

You should have known he’d be quicker than you.

“Not so fast, baby,” he says, catching your arms before they can fully shield your torso from him and twisted you around to face him.

“It’s nothing, really Daryl, I-I don’t even know what I was thinking,” you mumble feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

That’s when you notice the dark, lustful glimmer in his eyes and awed expression clear as day on his features.

Oh. He likes it.

Heat pooled in your stomach.

Daryl bunches the fabric of your dainty skirt in his hand contemplatively, drawing it up ever so slowly and tucking it into the waist band to keep you exposed.

You could feel his eyes wander your skin, like soft breathy kisses, from finger tips to the dip of your collar bones.

Your breathe catches as you feel the faintest pressure on your dripping cunt.

“This all fer me?” He whispers, slowly sliding his middle finger from the wet patch on your panties to the tiny pink bow at the hem.

He finger dips into the waist when he doesn’t hear your response, and snaps it back against your skin.

“Y-yes Dar,” you gasp.

Of course it was for him, you were his and he damn well knew that, but he simply couldn’t help himself from asking time to time.

He continued to toy with the bow thoughtfully, letting his finger tips graze over the sensitive skin there. Over your hip bones, stomach, and down to your inner thighs, never allowing too much pressure so it felt like soft tickles.

He enjoyed to watch you pant and writhe. Liked the way your skin would erupt in goosebumps every place he touched.

He was a hunter after all.

He could spend hours playing with every detail of you, work you up until you have tears welling in your eyes and your cunt was practically pulsing.

Though you’d beg and plead for him to stop, to give you what you need, he knew you loved it.

And so did he.

Daryl Dixon was a tease.

“Wanted to surprise you after the party,” you manage to squeak out and his gaze finally meets yours.

“Did ya now?” he mocks, walking you backwards till the back of your knees hit the bed and you take a seat at the edge. He looms over you, thumb grazing your bottom lip and you simply nod back at him.

“Well, ya can be certain there ain’t gonna be no party anymore,” he growls, staring you down like you had offended him somehow.

He harshly grips your hips, pulling them till your ass was practically hanging off the edge and drops down to his knees before you, spreading your legs to make room for himself.

All you can do is watch him, mouth parted open as he manhandles you however he pleases.

“And where did ya find somethin’ so pretty, hm?” he questions gruffly, once again rubbing his thumb over the wet patch forming on your panties.

You lean back on your arms, dropping your chin to watch his movements.

“I-uh, on a run the other day,” you huff, your words stuttering in excitement and anticipation.

Daryl only hums in response, as he dips his fingers and pulls them to the side, exposing you fully to him.

He barely gives you a second to register his actions before he’s dropping his head between your thighs, licking a long strip across your soaked cunt.

Your body jolts in surprised pleasure, your right hand flying to grip his soft brown locks as he laps at your clit.

Moaning loudly, your hips rock into him as he continues to lick and suck, lost in the taste of you.

“Oh god,” you whimper. Your arms are shaking behind you, ready to give out any second as you watch Daryl devour you like you were his last meal on earth.

He always looked so damn pretty, eyes closed and entrapped between your thighs.

He lifts his head, groaning at the sight of you and begins trailing kisses over your hips and down your inner thighs.

“Sweet girl,” he mumbles between kisses, “always thinkin’ bout me, huh?”

Your eyes roll back as you sink to your elbows, overwhelmed by the pleasure.

“Asked you a question, baby,” he nips at your skin causing a soft sting.

“Always Dar,” you pant, rolling your hips into him again. Your body was pulsing with lust and Daryl could sense how needy you were for him, like it had been weeks without his touch and honestly, it felt like that for him too.

He was about ready to cum in his jeans at the sight of you alone. Legs spread for him, pupils blown wide while you panted and moaned noisily just for him to hear.

Trailing his lips back up, he grips your waist stilling your movements, “What do ya need from me, hm?”

Your mind blanks for a moment, surprised by his uncharacteristic generosity. He was never this quick to give you what you need, always wanting to drag your pleasure for miles and miles until each pretty sound you could possibly make filled his ears.

“Come on now, or do you want me to decide for ya?” he asks again and you quickly shake your head, grabbing him by the shoulders and scooting back until you both were at the top of the bed.

As he lands above you, arms on each side of your head, you finally feel him and how hard he already was.

Rocking into him suggestively, “You know what I need,” you whisper.

Daryl groans from the friction, dropping his head to your shoulder and rutting into you further, chasing your movements.

You hadn’t seen him this worked up and responsive in a long time, and god were you loving it.

You pull his head up to face you and crash your lips onto his, hands finding his belt trying to discard him of it as fast as you possibly can. Daryl’s a panting mess above you, “Baby are you tryna kill me?” he groans when he feels your hands brush against his cock as you attempt to rid him of his jeans.

All you can do is whimper into his mouth as you struggle, and he kicks them down and off the bed.

He grabs you hands and pulls them above you, pinning them down as he begins to attack your neck with bites and kisses.

“Please Dar,” you whine, “need you now.”

“I know baby, I know,” he coos, attempting to soothe you as he draws your skirt and panties down your legs.

You begin tearing at his vest, needing to feel him closer to you, as close as he could possibly get. You feel him chuckle against you, “So eager for me, are ya?” as he lines himself up with your aching core, teasing you even more.

Taking him by surprise, you crush his hips into yours, filling yourself to the hilt all at once. You gasp from from the mixture of pain and pleasure, as Daryl all but whines into your mouth.

“Oh shit, fuck me,” he groans as he begins to slam into you at a bruising pace. You claw at his shoulders, rocking your hips to match his fast movements.

“Just love this cock, don’t ya?” he grunts, lifting one of your legs around his waist to drive into you even deeper.

You felt your brain cloud over, unable to think about anything other than him, drunker on his cock than you’d been from any night of drinking you’d partaken to in the past.

“Don’t go dumb on me now, darling. What did I ask ya?” he repeats, slowing his hips to sensual rolls, so it only stroked that cord in your stomach but kept it from building any further.

“God yes,” you moan, matching his slow but absolutely delicious pace.

Daryl is a groaning mess in your ears as your bodies dance a synchronized rhythm together, moulding into each other like pieces of a puzzle.

His hand snakes between you two, finding your clit easily and he begins to stroke you gently, allowing the fire in your abdomen to build rapidly.

“Oh Dar,” you moan and Daryl only picks up the pace, chasing after his own high to experience with you. Your clutching to him for dear life as he pounds into you quickly, grunting and groaning quiet praises about how good you feel.

You can tell he’s close when his hips start to stutter and shake, losing his rhythm slightly and you finally feel the cord break.

Your body floods with ecstasy, cunt pulsing around him causing his high to come crashing over him with you. Waves of pleasure wash over you as you both come down, his hips slowing to a stop.

He rests his forehead down to yours while the both of you struggle to catch your breath. You feel Daryl start to chuckle against you and your eyes lazily drift open, “What?” you mumble, running your fingers slowly down his back.

“Never was a big fan of surprises before, but ya can bet your ass I am now.”

[beetlejuicyy]

Hi again, lovely! Would it be alright to please request Bada x F! Idol reader with smut at the end? Where they've been together for years and are engaged but keeped it private. But then reader decides to surprise Bada at the SWF 2 final to support her and when Bebe wins, Bada can't hold back and runs to reader picking her up and kissing her, shocking everyone, that's how they reveal their relationship to the world. And maybe afterwards  they have their own private celebration at home after team bebes win.

The Winner Takes It All

Pairing: Bada x reader

Synopsis: you attend the swf2 final show to support your very secret fiancée. she decides to spill the secret in front of everyone

Warnings: fluff, only suggestive at the end sorry anon :'(

Note: i just realized that for me it's common sense that the reader is always a girl? that's why i never feel the need to mention it above there but i realized it might not be the case for everyone? so to clarify BADARI IS FOR THE GIRLIES!!!

Masterlist

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You’ve never thought about getting married, let alone this young. The whole ‘you haven’t met the right man’ rhetoric was the most annoying thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Because you had to meet the right woman. In the span of your six year relationship, Bada had managed to change your entire perspective. In particular, the most impressive thing she did was getting you engaged last year. You didn’t expect it, although she would drop hints and questions here and there to find out if you would say yes. She didn’t want to pressure you but the moment had to be special, unforgettable and most of all a surprise. Of course you said yes.

It didn’t mean that your relationship went public, though. You were quite comfortable with having your closest people only know. You had her only to yourself. No imprudent questions, no expectations and no judgement from anyone. You had her only to yourself and you both enjoyed the quiet and intimate moments you shared. On top of it, Bada had her career which involved a lot of time and networking, not to mention she was gradually getting more and more popular. She was the talk of town and, frankly speaking, neither of you wanted your relationship to be a public subject debated on online forums and social media platforms’ comment section.

She always had to remind you that you were an idol and the relationship would have impacted your carieer even more than hers. You were rarely seen together in public and you were thankful for that because it was already very hard to hide. She was working with SM mostly and you got to meet her through a common friend that was a stylist. You both agreed that if you would ever work together your relationship would be too obvious, so you avoided that as much as you could. Things had to remain secret.

But the exact opposite was happening right now. You leaned your head against your girlfriend’s shoulder, unlocking your phone again.

“Unnie, leave them be.” Minah said, noticing you were checking the comments again. She was sitting next to you at the table and took it upon herself to pour you another shot of alcohol.

“I don’t know why I’m so pressed about it.” You said, sighing and locking the phone and putting it on the table. Bada only looked at you briefly from the side of her eye while taking care of the meat on the grill in the middle of the table.

“What Bada unnie did was sooo cool, though.” Cheche joined. “I’m sure things will be easier now.”

“Maybe you’ll enjoy outdoor dates more now.” Tatter chimed in.

“Guys, we’re here to celebrate we won the show.” Bada said in a cute scolding tone. You knew she noticed talking about it only made you more anxious. “Gimme that.” She took your phone from the table and put it in her pocket.

She had asked you several times if what she did was wrong. And every time your answer was no. Because, to be completely honest, you agreed with Minah. What Bada, your fiancée, did was very cool and very romantic.

Only a couple of hours ago you were still waiting for the final results of the Street Woman Fighter 2 finale. If your girlfriend was popular before, her popularity was now exploding. Joining the show along with her crew had her in the spotlight, and many people found out about her talent through it. But it also meant that she had become busier than ever. More tired than ever. More stressed than ever. There had been so many days when you wanted to drop by and bring some freshly cooked food for her and her team, especially noticing how she was losing weight as much as she was losing sleep. But you couldn’t. All eyes were on her more than ever, and your relationship was still secret.

However, what you could do was be there for her at the most important moment of the show. You didn’t tell her but had been invited by the producers to be one of the few celebrities that attended the live broadcast, especially since people knew you were good friends with most of the 1million girls. In truth, you accepted the invitation because of Bada.

When she saw you for the first time she was sitting in the backstage, anxiously waiting to be called on stage. Daniel asked you to share your feelings on being there so you did your best to cheer on all teams equally and have a professional speech. Her face lit up immediately and it took her all self control not to wave at you through the screen like a five year old full of excitement, knowing she was filmed. She always went the extra mile in dancing whenever you were watching and the performances were completely out of this world. You loved it as a whole, all the team did an amazing job, but your eyes shifted to wherever Bada was at, being completely mesmerized by her. You knew how much she had worked to be there. After the performance was over all you wanted to scream out for everyone to hear was that she was your girl and you were so proud of her. You only cheered along with the audience, hoping she would know your feelings.

The most nerve wrecking moment was Daniel announcing the winner. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you looked at all the girls in BEBE team holding hands, praying their name would be called out.

And it was.

Maybe Bada was too drunk on victory. Or maybe not being able to express her happiness when she saw you in the audience was too much for her to handle. Or maybe she was simply too overwhelmed. In any case, you didn’t expect her following actions. After her never ending speech, thanking everyone she could name, checking her piece of paper where she had previously written her thoughts, she kept looking at you. For a moment, you thought that she would do something reckless and say your name in the speech. But she handed Tatter the microphone instead. They were running out of time anyway.

You wanted to hug her so badly. Tell her how proud you were. How much she meant to you. That you always believed in her. But, as you stood there in the crowd, the stage got full of people as the other contestants went to congratulate the winners. You pressed your lips together, trying to suppress the feeling of your heart aching. You were happy for her. Immensely so. But, for the first time, you hated this secret relationship thing you had. The live broadcast was finished already but your girlfriend was still busy chatting with people on the stage.

You noticed Bada hugging and thanking everyone for their kind words. However, she was growing impatient by the minute and it was harder and harder for her to respect the formalities and avoid being rude to everyone trying to talk to her. She wanted to go to you. She wanted to share this moment with you, her girlfriend, her fiancée, her soulmate. After hugging some people and taking some pictures she’d had enough. Bada hopped down the stage, not even minding to take the stairs on the side. Your eyes widened, not knowing what she was about to do. Or rather, because you knew exactly what she was about to do. She walked in your direction, some people still around you, most of the celebrities already gone after the results were out. You heard them talking, squealing. She only looked at you, her chocolate eyes making you weak in your knees. Bada stopped right in front of you and cupped both of your cheeks as she leaned down and kissed you. Her plump lips pressed against yours firmly, as if she wanted to get under your skin. Your hands instinctively grabbed her blue leather jacket, pulling her closer, forgetting everything and everyone around you for a brief and blissful moment.

To say that everyone was in shock would be an understatement. The sounds of reality came back to you as she pulled away, pressing her lips together and looking at you like a kid that just broke something he was told to be careful with. Around you some people had their phones in their hands, recording. Some started talking quietly to each other, letting out exclamations that weren’t that subtle. Some were too surprised to do anything. Even the loud laughter and chatting from the stage stopped, turning into a faint murmur. You suddenly felt anxious, noticing all those eyes on you.

However, Bada just pulled you by the hand and forced you to follow her up the stage, which for a moment gave you even more anxiety. She took a mic while still holding your hand firmly, speaking on a very bright yet nervous voice.

“Uhm, yes!” She started with a loud voice. She always did that when she was anxious, speaking loudly as if trying to snap herself out of it. “I've known y/n for quite a while and not through our jobs as artists. This is the person I want to give my biggest thanks to, the one who has been next to me at my worst and is here with me at my best. Y/n is my girlfriend, my fiancée and the best person I could ever ask for.”

You didn’t really remember how you got to the restaurant after that. All you knew was that all the contestants flocked around you, congratulating you, calling you pretty, teasing Bada and asking if you were alright since you looked rather pale. Some of them were your fans even and they scolded your girlfriend for not introducing you sooner. The members of team Bebe tried sheltering you as much as they could and you eventually ended up in a car with Tatter driving and Bada sitting with you in the backseat. You only came to your senses after munching on some meat and, most importantly, two shots of alcohol.

All of these events flashed in your mind in the span of a moment and you realized you might have had a panic attack back then. However, going out to celebrate with team Bebe was good for you. They were loud and happy and you would forget the stress of your now public relationship at times. Even if you felt the need to check once again what people were saying and what videos were circulating online, Bada had your phone and she wasn’t going to let you cause more stress to yourself.

***

You got home very late, after driving the younger members home safely. You were both exhausted, especially your girlfriend since she had been up all day, rehearsing, performing, stressing out. However, probably because of the alcohol at the celebration or simply because she was finally alone with you after a long time, she was feeling very frisky. She was touching you with every occasion she got, her hands roaming over your thigh or back more than necessary ever since you were at the table, making you feel a little embarrassed in front of her friends.

When you got home it only got worse. And, even though you were tired, you allowed her to kiss you and touch you all over, loving the way her skin felt on top of yours. However, after letting her have her way, you pushed her away, down against the mattress and she looked at you with surprised eyes, worried she might have done something wrong.

“Are you mad because of what I did?” She asked from the hundredth time. She was only wearing her bra and her hair was scattered on the sheets around her head and over her shoulders.

“I’m actually happy about it.” You said pushing strands of hair away from her chest as an excuse to gently touch her skin.

“But… you’ve been checking whatever people are saying the whole night.” You looked at her plump lips and half opened tired eyes and wondered how you could ever be mad at her. "What's going to happen now?"

“Whatever.” You said. “My management will do some damage control.” You looked at her with a gentle but tired smile on your face, taking in every detail of her face. You didn't need alcohol to be drunk on love. “You’re the winner tonight. You deserve a prize.” She started grinning like an idiot in anticipation.

“What could that be-“ She hummed but her words turned into a moan as you leaned down and licked a line from her collarbone up her neck and under her jaw. Her hands grabbed you by the waist, fingers digging into your skin as you continued to leave wet kisses along her neck. She tried grabbing your face to pull you into a kiss she was desperate for, but you only pulled her hand away above her head.

“I said you deserve a prize. Just sit back and enjoy it.” You said, your lips only inches away from hers, and you felt her hips shift under your weight in an attempt to create some friction between the two of you. “We’ll get to that soon, love.” You continued, knowing exactly what she was looking forward to. Her hand relaxed in your grip and her whole body eased up, ready to received whatever you were about to do.

“Being a winner really is great.” She managed to say before turning into a moaning mess under your touch.

tags: @ssc7514

[training4theapocalypse]

Thirsty (Adrian Chase x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: SMUT, Mutual pining, Romance, Canon typical descriptions of murder and violence, Dubious consent (they are both kind of drunk), Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Safe sex (male condom), Multiple orgasms

Summary: Your job restocking vending machines takes you to businesses all over Evergreen - including Fennel Fields where the cute busboy keeps making eyes at you. (Based on this ask by @kpopgirlbtssvt)

A/N: There’s a part where Adrian picks the reader up over his shoulder but he is a very strong boi, I am confident he could shoulder carry any thirsty MF. PS My toxic trait is that I slip a reference to Scotland in literally everything I write.

Masterlist

Tag list: @likeficsinthewnd, @she-wolf09231982,

Chapter text:

The muscles in your forearms ache as you drag your hand cart, stacked with cases of soda and water, up the ramp at the back of Fennel Fields. 

You wheel your final delivery of the day straight into their break room, as usual, and park your cart beside the vending machine, ready to start your restock. You’re greeted amicably by the staff, who know you well enough that they’re not surprised to see you. 

But one particularly familiar face spots you from across the room and practically leaps off his chair. Adrian Chase looks forward to your weekly trip to Fennel Fields, and today he can’t help but notice the glow on your face from hauling your delivery. He wonders what else makes your face glow like that. He bets he could.

“Hey, stranger,” you say, and he blinks at you as if snapping out of something.

“Stranger? It’s me, Adrian.”

You grin. You can’t tell if he’s joking or not but either way, you find it sort of cute. And, yes, Taylor warned you to stop flirting with the hot but kind of dorky busboy because he’s gonna end up catching feelings, but there’s something fun about getting him all flustered and making his cheeks burn.

“I know, Adrian. I could never forget that pretty face,” you tease. He turns slightly pink. There it is. “Thirsty?” you ask.

“Yup, and wait til you see what I got you.”

This has been your routine at Fennel Fields for a few months now. You pick up some speciality soda while you’re delivering beverages across Washington and Adrian brings you something- usually a snack or anything else he thinks you might like.

“Three… two… one.” At the same time, you pull the soda out from your bag and Adrian hands you a small, blue rectangular box.

A cassette tape. Aqua- Aquarium. 

“Adrian! This is so sick- it’s so hard to find tapes these days.” You flip it over to read the tracklist. “I fucking love Barbie Girl.”

“Me too! And I noticed your Walkman, so I thought you could use some more music.” He looks down at the orange and blue soda can in his hands, reading the label. “IRN BRU?”

“This is the weirdest soda I’ve found yet. It’s like bubblegum cream soda but it burns.”

He cracks it open, takes a sip and looks confused. “I think I like it?” He takes another sip. “It’s like my mouth hates it but needs more.”

“I know, right?” You put the cassette in your bag and open the vending machine.

“Thanks for the soda.” He nods at your tired arms as you start loading in your delivery. “Sick forearm pump, by the way.”

“Uh, what?”

“Yeah! You can totally tell you’ve been working on them- they’re huge.”

You raise an eyebrow. It’s probably meant as a compliment, but you’re not sure how you feel about Adrian talking to you like you’re one of his bros at the gym. 

“I mean- not huge! Like normal. But nice. And-“

“Have you seen Taylor?” You decide to step in before he can dig this particular hole any deeper. “I need him to sign for this.”

“What’s up, Cuz?” Taylor appears from around a corner. 

You hold out your electronic POS and stylus, awaiting his signature. “Just need you to sign this, then I’m done for the night.”

“Nice!” says Adrian “You got any plans after this?”

“Depends on who’s asking,” you tease him, a small balloon swells up in your chest with excitement. You’ve never been sure whether Adrian’s always so excited to see you because he likes you or if he just really likes soda. 

“Uh, me,  Adrian. Remember?”

“Hey man, what did I tell you about hitting on my cousin?” Taylor gives him a stern look. “Don’t you have a pregnant girlfriend to be worried about?”

You’re surprised, to say the least. The fact that Adrian has a girlfriend (a pregnant one at that) but he still goes out of his way to exchange gifts with you every week is kind of disappointing. It reaffirms your belief that there are no decent men in this town.

“Yes! I mean, no. We, uh, we broke up.”

“Because of the party you tried to throw her?” asks Taylor.

Aw, that’s kind of sweet.

“Uh, yeah, she did not appreciate the abortion party.”

What the fuck?

Taylor signs for the delivery and hands you back the device, giving you a meaningful look- I told you so. The balloon of excitement in your chest feels well and truly punctured.

“But I mean, I’m not hung up on her or anything. I actually dumped her.”

Yup, no decent men alright.

You and Taylor exchange glances. You can practically hear the wet raspberry of the balloon deflating completely. 

“I’d better go. Thanks for the tape, dude,” you say a little more coolly than you’d intended in your hurry to hide your dismay before wheeling your cart out of the break room.

“Hey, let me help you with that,” Adrian’s voice calls from behind you, but Taylor grabs the door before he can.

“I got it, man.” 

Taylor walks with you to the van. You lean up against the cab door in exasperation. Taylor offers you a cigarette which you go to accept, but he retracts the packet.

“Nuh-uh, let’s hear it first.”

“Fine,” you sigh. “You are so full of wisdom, as always, and I will forever heed your dating advice from now until the end of time,” you concede to Taylor, snatching a cigarette. He grins and lights you both up.

“Y’know what the weird thing is? I don’t think he ever had a girlfriend.”

You exhale a puff of smoke in surprise. “What was that about then?”

“I dunno. I caught him out here celebrating one night, and he made up a weird abortion party story. I think he was really out here dancing because Peacemaker came into the restaurant-“

“Peacemaker?! Jeez, isn’t that guy in jail?”

“Musta released him. But I think Adrian was being an excited fanboy and got embarrassed when I saw him. Dude’s a serial liar- I thought he’d come clean if I asked him about it in front of you.”

You lean your head back against the van. “Where are all the decent men in Evergreen?” You lament and start rhyming off, counting on your fingers. “They’re either obsessed with capes, racists, racist capes or racists who are obsessed with capes!”

“Well, speaking of capes, it’s getting dark. You better hit the road before you run into that nutcase, Vigilante.”

“Yeah, or the escaped gorilla,” you laugh, stubbing out your cigarette. 

“Put that in the trash or you’ll end up with a bullet in your head for littering.”

“I’ve charmed my way out of worse situations. Besides, maybe he’ll be the one to sweep me off my feet.”

“Vigilante? Or the gorilla?”

“Honestly, at this point, I’d take either.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following afternoon, your delivery route sends you off down the highway. It’s not a glamorous job, stocking vending machines at different businesses all over the place, but it’s easy, and you can listen to your own music. It takes you all across this little corner of Washington, and the more you see, the more grateful you are that you get to live in this beautiful, rocky state.

Even if there isn’t a single eligible man to be found on your entire route. You still feel a little crestfallen thinking about Adrian Chase. Why was he so intent on lying to Taylor yesterday? How deep does his Peacemaker obsession go if he was that embarrassed?

You pull up to the back of the Glan Tai bottling plant on the outskirts of Evergreen, put on your headphones and turn on your Walkman. You want to keep a low profile because the clients are much weirder here than the rest- Adrian Chase excluded.

They weren’t always like this. The facilities manager at Glan Tai was a friendly old man - Clive- who let you use their bathroom, and gave you filter coffee from a polystyrene cup to ease your two-hour journey home. Until one day recently, Clive wasn’t so friendly anymore. New management, you expected.

Head down, you drag your cart through the service entrance and make your way to their storage room. Aqua blasts in your ears as you wheel your way along the corridor. There are loud bangs and the ground vibrates slightly, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary in a site with heavy machinery. 

You get to the room where they keep the IT equipment, files and vending machine and start unloading. You feel a heavy hand on your shoulder and pull your headphones down around your neck.

“Oh, sorry Clive, I didn’t see you-“ 

You freeze, icy fear spreading through your veins as you find yourself face to face with - you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me - the escaped gorilla from the zoo.

You scream. Loudly.

Two people burst into the room, startling the gorilla. It backs away from you. For a second, you think they’re factory workers running to your rescue. But they slam and bolt the storage room door shut behind them.

“No! Unlock the door!”

They whip around and point their guns at you. You drop the case of water you’re holding and hold your hands up in surrender.

One of them, you recognise from the news. A man in a black and teal suit, armed to the hilt, with his face almost entirely obscured- except by a red visor covering his eyes.

It’s him. It’s Vigilante. And a blonde woman you don’t recognise. 

He lowers his gun and nudges hers away from your direction.

“Shoot her before she kills us both!” snaps the woman, irritated. 

“She’s not a butterfly,” says Vigilante, his voice muffled behind his mask. “I know her.”

He knows me? How?

“I’m just delivering water, I swear!” You beg her, looking between them. 

Just then, the gorilla appears from behind the shelves and launches the blonde woman across the room.

An involuntary yelp of shock escapes you again and the gorilla returns its attention to you. Thinking fast, you tip your cart forward, and the giant ape trips up on the cascade of cans and bottles.

“You didn’t think to tell us there was a gorilla in here?!” Comes the annoyed blonde woman’s voice from behind a broken table.

“I was preoccupied with the guns in my face!” 

The door to the storage room is blasted open and another woman bursts in, followed by none other than Peacemaker.

Adrian would lose his shit right now, you think to yourself.

Peacemaker looks at you through the eyeholes of his helmet “She’s clear, Adebayo” and the other woman lowers her gun. The gorilla gets up. “Oh shit!” says Peacemaker as it sends a swipe in your direction, sending you tumbling off your feet and onto the floor.

You cower in the corner as they fight the gorilla. Vigilante stabs it but it bats him away easily and does the same to the woman called Adebayo. Peacemaker launches himself onto the gorilla’s back but the beast throws him off onto the hard floor.

“Die, human!” 

Did that gorilla just speak? What have you gotten yourself into?

The gorilla raises its fists, ready to crush Peacemaker, when a man with an oddly patchy beard runs through the door, chainsaw in hand and proceeds to kill the gorilla, sawing it almost in half and sending blood splattering everywhere. 

A small winged creature crawls out of the dead gorilla’s mouth. The blonde woman gets to her feet and shoots it casually. What the…? Was that some kind of parasite?

The gunshot leaves your ears ringing but hearing your name whispered in your ear brings you back to reality. You blink stupidly at Vigilante, who is now crouched down inches from your face and you try to make out his eyes through the red visor. You know those eyes. But how? How does the mass murderer of Evergreen know you?

He hooks his arms under yours, lifts you to your feet and wipes the smattering of blood off your face. Your heart is racing as you continue to stare at him silently, dumbfounded. You know you should be scared of this masked man, who’s wanted on multiple counts of murder. But here he is, claiming he knows you, making sure you’re okay.

“What do we do with her?” asks the bearded man with the chainsaw. 

“Who, me?” you try and sound nonchalant. “I didn’t see anything. I’ll just get out of your beard- hair! I mean hair.” You go to put your headphones back over your ears but the blonde woman rips them off.

“Hey!” Vigilante steps between you and her. “Look, she’s cool. She says she didn’t see anything, so she didn’t”

“How do you know she’s not a butterfly?” she challenges Vigilante.

“X-ray helmet,” interjects Peacemaker. “No butterfly in that pretty little noggin.” He winks at you and Vigilante bristles, folding his arms in an irritated sort of way.

“Listen, I’ve got like four more deliveries today so…” You trail off as your body starts to go on autopilot. There’s an awkward silence as they watch you bustle around, stacking the blood-covered cases of water and soda back onto your cart.

“She’s clearly in shock,” says Adebayo, more gently than the blonde. 

“Hey, let me help you with that,” says a muffled voice from behind you.

‘Hey, let me help you with that.’

In the exact same cadence as yesterday. 

“A-Adrian?” you say hoarsely and you turn back around in time to watch Vigilante drop the case of water. “Adrian Chase?!” you repeat, your voice slightly hysterical. 

“No!” says Adrian unconvincingly but at the same time Peacemaker says:

“Godammit Vij. How does she know you?”

Adrian groans in frustration. “She delivers drinks to my job too!”

“That settles it- she’s a witness and she knows Vigilante’s identity. Adebayo, you need to end this. Don’t make her beg for her life like the other guy,” commands the blonde woman, clearly in charge of the team.

“Nonononononono,” Adrian stands in front of you with his arms folded. “No way. I am not letting you kill her.”

“That’s an order, Adebayo. Vigilante- move.”

“Wait,” says the guy with the beard. “She might actually be useful, Harcourt.”

Harcourt raises her eyebrows. “Well?”

“We’re looking for other leads, right? Other places where the butterflies are?” He looks at you. “Hey, water girl. Does this company have any other locations?”

“Y-yes,” your throat feels dry.

“Can you tell us where they are?” he asks.

“Will you let me live if I tell you?”

Everyone looks at Harcourt. She groans. “Fine. But we’re gonna need to figure out what to do with her to keep her from blabbering.”

“C’mon, she already said she was cool!” says Adrian.

“And you trust her?”

“One hundo percent.” He gives you a reassuring thumbs up.

“I wouldn’t trust his judgement,” says Peacemaker and you immediately feel faint. It must be obvious on your face because he backtracks. “No! Not that we should kill her! Definitely not. But Adrian would trust any hot girl. We can’t just let her go.”

Harcourt pinches the bridge of her nose as she thinks. 

“Vigilante,” she says finally. “I’m telling Murn that water girl is your responsibility. You’re going to keep her with you 24/7 until the mission is over. Any fuck-up, if she does or says anything that jeopardizes our objective, she’s dead and you’ll be doing black ops in Belize. Got it?”

“Cool, got it!” says Adrian enthusiastically, as if that isn’t the most horrifying thing he’s ever heard.

“Wait, don’t I get a say in this? I have a job! I have people who will be looking for me.”

“Do you want to cooperate or do you want to die?” 

“Which one do you wanna do?” asks Adrian.

If you hadn’t already figured out that Vigilante was Adrian Chase, that would have been the dead giveaway.

A few moments later, Adrian is leading you by the hand back through the factory to where your van is parked while you cover your eyes with one hand. He had suggested it after your knees almost gave way when you saw the pile of bodies at the door. And he liked that you had rejected Peacemaker’s offer to hoist you over his shoulder and carry you out.

“Oh, no… Clive,” you whisper, making the mistake of opening your eyes and seeing the old man crumpled on the floor, next to the coffee machine. You cover your eyes again.

“Watch you don’t slip in the blood here,” says Adrian gently, guiding you to side-step.

You groan. You think you might puke. 

“I can’t believe you killed all these people,” you whisper, wishing you could disassociate from this whole thing.

“We didn’t, not really- I promise. I’ll explain on the ride home.”

Harcourt instructs Adrian to drive your van, following theirs back to Evergreen. When you’re both out of earshot and in your van, Adebayo sits in the driver’s seat turning to Harcourt, Peacemaker and Economos. “Isn’t it kind of weird seeing Vigilante like this?”

“Like what?” asks Economos.

“Like, compassionate, sweet… not all hell-bent on murder?”

Peacemaker shrugs “He’s like this all the time. You should hear the way he talks about this other girl, his friend Taylor’s sister, or cousin, I think. He’s just a sucker for anyone who’s nice to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, you’re sitting on the couch in your apartment, waiting for Adrian to finish up in the shower.

On the drive to their headquarters, Adrian had explained all about their mission and how an alien race called ‘the butterflies’ had taken over the bodies of (and, therefore, killed) all those people in the factory long before Adrian’s team had arrived.

At headquarters, you had told them everything you knew about your clients at Glan Tai and had given them the coordinates for their other delivery location- a small farm thirty miles north of the factory. Murn seemed to be satisfied with your intel and approved of Harcourt’s plan to have Adrian keep you under close surveillance. Great. 

Adrian grabbed his go-bag from his Sebring and drove the two of you in your van back to your apartment, where you immediately ran to the shower, to try and rid yourself of all the negative feelings from today.

He now appears in your living room, fresh out of the shower in a pale blue t-shirt and jeans, looking much less out of place than when he was in his full combat gear. But he still stands awkwardly, not sure what to do with himself. 

“Thirsty?” you ask him. “I’ve got wine.”

“I shouldn’t. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on you.”

You find two wine glasses and place them on the coffee table. He sits on the edge of your couch. “What am I gonna do, Adrian?” You open up a bottle of red wine and start pouring. “I could barely stand seeing all that shit at the factory. Do you really think I’m gonna kill you?” You slide a glass towards him and start filling your own. 

He looks down at the wine but doesn’t touch it. You raise your glass. “To forgetting the worst day of my life.”

“The worst day of your life? Today was awesome!” He looks genuinely surprised that you’re not sharing his elation. “We killed a ton of butterflies, and now thanks to you, we know where they keep their cow.”

It’s a sentence that wouldn’t have made sense to you a few hours ago. And you hate that it does now.

“We’re saving the world,” he continues. “And you helped!”

You push his wine glass closer to him. “To saving the world, then.”

He takes a sip and screws up his face. “Do you have any beer? Ooh, or soda!”

“It’s in the van. And most of it’s covered in blood now.���

“Then this is great,” he says, a little too politely. 

“If you’re not used to it, the first glass tastes like acetone,” you tell him, draining yours. “But the second one…” You pause, pouring yourself another. “The second goes down real smooth.”

Adrian copies you and gulps down the red wine. You refill his glass, and he takes another sip.

“The second one isn’t so bad, actually.” He sounds surprised. 

You sink down on the couch next to him. “So now what?” you ask. He looks confused, so you elaborate. “What do you usually do with hostages all night?”

“You’re not a hostage!” He looks offended. “I’m more like your bodyguard.”

“Oh yeah? Who are you guarding me from? Your friends?”

He looks up over his glasses in thought. “Well, just Harcourt. And Murn. But it’s mostly to keep you safe from the butterflies.”

You take another drink of wine. Studying his face, you think he’s telling the truth. He really doesn’t consider you to be his hostage. As you look him over, you realise you’ve never noticed how curly his hair is before- he’s normally wearing that dorky little Fennel Fields hat. 

You’ve always thought he was cute in a wholesome kind of way but now that he’s out of his work uniform, you can appreciate that he’s, like, ridiculously, conventionally handsome. You wonder if he knows it. You wonder a lot of things about Adrian, especially now that, come to think of it, everything you know about him is probably a lie to keep his secret identity hidden.

“Truth or dare?” you blurt. 

“What?”

“Go on.” You gesture towards him with your glass. “We’ve got a long night. I want to find out more about you. Adrian. Vigilante.”

He looks excited. Maybe it’s the prospect of playing a game, or maybe he’s just happy someone wants to know more about him. Both sides of him.

“Truth then.”

“Does your pregnant ex-girlfriend exist?”

He groans and leans his head back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “No. I was just trying to cover how stoked I was that Peacemaker was out of jail.” 

You laugh, but your eyes linger on his exposed neck and the way his Adam’s apple moves when he talks.

He turns his head to look over at you through his wire-rimmed glasses. “I don’t think Taylor likes me.”

“Taylor likes you just fine,” you lie, sipping your wine.

“Truth or dare?” asks Adrian.

“Truth.”

“Has Taylor ever told you that you shouldn’t date me?”

“Ugh, fine. Yes. He told me not to give you my number.”

“Why?!”

“If you want to ask a follow-up question, then you need to take a drink. That’s the rule.” He does so- quickly. “Okay, fine. He says he doesn’t trust you because you’re always lying about things, and it kind of annoys everyone because you’re a bad liar.”

“Everyone?! I thought we were talking about Taylor?”

“If you want to be liked and have a secret identity, you need to be a better liar.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” admits Adrian, twisting the stem of the glass between his fingers. “Your turn, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

He thinks for a couple of beats. “I dare you to finish your drink.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“It was the only dare I could think of that wasn’t a sexy dare.”

The newly formed idea of Adrian asking you to do something sexy for him makes you pause. Warmth pools deep in your tummy as watches you, waiting. God, why does red wine always make you feel so slutty? You raise your eyebrows over the rim of your glass, and you drain the rest of the liquid. “Why don’t you want to give me a sexy dare?” you ask, setting your glass down.

“I dunno, don’t you think there’s kind of a power imbalance?” 

“That’s true. You are my bodyguard after all.” You nod contemplatively. “And I guess it would be awkward since you need to stay here for a few more days.”

“Oh, I meant-” Adrian cuts himself off. What he really meant would sound incredibly childish now. 

You get up from the couch to retrieve another bottle of wine from the breakfast bar that separates your kitchen from your living room. “Go on, what did you mean?”

“No, I meant what you said.” 

No, he didn’t. What he meant is that you have all the power because he has such a huge crush on you. And the way the wine is going to his head, he’s not sure he trusts himself to give you a dare without it having an ulterior motive. Adrian watches as you twist the corkscrew into the bottle with precision. Your chest jiggles in your tank top with the recoil of your arm extracting the cork, and it makes Adrian blush bright red. He discreetly adjusts himself in his jeans.

You bring the new bottle of wine over to the couch and sit down cross-legged, your back leaning against the armrest so you can get a better look at him without constantly straining. Fuck, he’s gorgeous like this, you think, as he gets comfortable, changing position so he can look at you too. In the soft light of your living room, you can make out that his cheeks are pink again. “Does wine usually make you flush like that?” you ask. 

“Uh, I wouldn’t know. Can wine do that?”

“To some people, yeah. For me, it just makes me feel kinda sexy.” You clap your hand to your mouth, watching Adrian’s eyes widen. “Ugh! Sorry, I wouldn’t have said that if I hadn’t had two glasses already.” You scoff and shake your head. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

The wine is making you feel bolder. “Have you had sex in your Vigilante costume?”

“Today?”

You almost choke on your newly poured drink with laughter. 

“Okay, that answers that question. In which case, I have a follow-up,” You take a sip, pointedly. “What’s Vigilante’s favourite sex position?”

“Oh, uh…” Adrian thinks back to when he last had sex as Vigilante, with Amber and Peacemaker a few days ago. “Any, I guess.”

“Any? C’mon, you picked truth!”

“It is the truth! I don’t take my mask off, or my suit if I don’t have to. So it always feels the same. Fun, I guess, but sorta uncomfortable. Funcomfortable.”

You smile and rest your head on your hand, elbow leaning on the back of the couch. “What about Adrian?”

“Is that another follow-up question?”

You acquiesce and take another drink but before you can even swallow he says “Missionary.”

“Boring,” you tease but he doesn’t seem fazed.

“It’s not. Not when you really like someone anyway. Missionary is fucking great - when you can kiss them, hold their hand, stare into their eyes…” He pauses, his green eyes burning into yours. “Boring is not being able to even taste someone because of my mask.”

You realise you’ve been holding your breath. You look away and exhale slowly, trying to steady the growing arousal burning hot, deep in your pelvic floor. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I-” When you raise your head again, he’s still looking at you intently. “I just realised I haven’t been fucked like that in a really long time.”

He shakes his head. “Yeah right! I bet you go on tons of dates.”

“I do,” you admit with a tilt of your head. “But did you know that like 90% of women don’t orgasm on a one-night stand?”

Adrian’s eyebrows knit together “That doesn’t sound right. Women always cum when I-”

“That’s what all men say, Adrian. But honestly, I don’t think a man has made me cum in, like, the entire time I’ve been single.”

“I could,” he says, matter-of-factly. It’s not a boast, it’s a simple statement. 

Honestly, you're not sure if it’s the alcohol or the vivid image you have of Adrian making you clutch at your bedsheets and moan his name, but something’s making the blood rush to your face and other parts of your body that you’re still desperately trying not to think about. 

“I’ll do it right now if you want?” 

He’s asking if he can try to make you cum as casually as if asking if he can help you restock the vending machine. It’s bolder than you’d expected from the shy busboy. Then again, you’d never expected him to be Vigilante either… maybe you should review all the preconceptions you have of him.

Your abdomen clenches. Fuck, you can feel how hot and sticky your underwear is as he blinks at you behind his glasses, waiting for your response.

You look at his face hungrily, eyes lingering on his lips, now stained with red wine. “Adrian, listen. I’m sure you’re very good, blah blah blah. But I just… I don’t want to set you up for disappointment. It’s kind of hard to make me cum.”

“Let me give it a shot. And if I can make you cum, you let me take you on a date.”

You stare at him, feeling your chest pounding as you contemplate his offer. There’s something about his voice that’s so sincere and so fucking desperate for you, your brain can’t think of a reason not to say yes.

“Truth or dare?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Truth.”

“Do you want me to go down on you? I’m really good at it.”

Yes! You want to scream- already stupidly soaking fucking wet at the mere idea of it. 

Instead, you squeeze your eyes shut and nod. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Yeah?” His tone makes you think that he wasn’t really expecting you to say yes.

“Yes, Adrian.” You laugh in disbelief. “If you make me cum, you can take me on a date.” He grins and you shift inelegantly, not sure how to proceed. “So… how do you wanna-”

Adrian pounces on you before you can ask the question, his red-stained lips crashing against yours. You kiss him back- hard. You’re thirsty for him, you realise, as you taste the alcohol mixed with the slightly metallic taste of his saliva. You want to drain him, drown in him.

He groans when you grab the nape of his neck and suck on his bottom lip. He can’t believe that you’re kissing him like this- like it’s you who’s been pining after him and not the other way around.

You pause, lips barely touching his. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to kiss you like this for so long,” you whisper.

“You- you have?”

“Adrian, I spend half my week trying to find you new kinds of speciality soda just so I have an excuse to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Realisation dawns on him. All this time he just thought you were really, really into soda. 

Adrian gives you one last deep kiss and pulls away. He gets on his knees on the floor, and the sight of him there, with his hands on your hips and his body between your legs, makes your cunt clench. You bite your lips in anticipation.

His fingertips hook the hem of your sweatpants. “Can I take these off?” You lift your hips, permitting him to remove them.

“Fuck,” he breathes, staring at your pussy.

“Adrian…” You mumble, suddenly self-conscious. Exposed. You try to bring your knees together, but he places a hand on each of your thighs, holding them firmly open. 

“You’re wet already,” he says, in a self-satisfied sort of way that makes your skin feel like it’s on fire. “When did that happen? Was it when I said I’d make you cum?”

You shake your head. “When I was wondering what kind of sexy dare you wanted to give me.”

He grins “I wanted to dare you to take your top off.” He traces a finger along your hot, wet folds. You gasp, feeling the calloused texture of his fingertip brushing up and down against your skin.

“Like this?” You lift your tank top up and over your head, tossing it aside and then you squeeze your tits together. 

He sits on the floor, lips parted slightly in awe. You feel like he’s looking at you like you’re the most-

“You’re the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Now you really are embarrassed but before you can respond, he dips the finger that was sliding along your folds into your pussy. You bite your lip to stifle the vulnerable, blissful sigh that leaves you.

“It’s okay- you can moan for me.” He reassures, pushing a thick finger in and up. You feel your walls squeezing around him in response. “God, you’re so tight around my finger.”

“Fuck-” you plead, as he teases you, gently stroking your g-spot. His lips haven’t even touched you yet and you already feel like you’re having to consciously stop yourself from cumming.

“You needed this, huh?” he asks and you watch as he kisses your inner thigh, sucking the sensitive skin there. You have to look away- just the sight of his jaw muscles moving as he traces his tongue along the crevice where your thigh meets your body almost sends you over the brink.

“Adrian, I’m- fuck-” After all your warnings about how difficult it would be to make you cum, you’re are shamefully close already- and Adrian knows it. Everything below your waist is hot and shaking and swollen as his finger curls up inside you, tapping rhythmically. 

“Wait not yet- I’ve got to taste you. I want you to cum on my tongue.”

Warmth envelopes your clit as Adrian opens his mouth and slowly glides his tongue over the bundle of nerves there, tasting you for the first time. He barely moves at all but you’re so close that just the pressure of his mouth on you sends the crashing wave of your orgasm rolling across his hot tongue. Your back arches and your walls clamp down around his finger. 

He lets out a groan, sending pleasant vibrations across your clit. 

“Shit, Adrian-”

Blinding lights appear somewhere between your eyelids and the centre of the universe. Your thighs tense as the pleasure shoots through your body, your pussy flooding his mouth between your legs. 

When you finally stop twitching he removes his tongue from you, giving you a moment’s respite. 

“That was, like, really easy,” he smirks as you run your hands through your hair in disbelief. “I didn’t even have to take my glasses off.”

“I’ve never-” You try to catch your breath, blinking at him. You’re not sure you’ve even made yourself cum that quickly before. “That’s never happened -so fast- ever.”

“I shoulda asked what two orgasms would get me.”

“Literally anything. Do whatever you want with me-” you babble, staring up at the ceiling. You pause to look down when you feel him remove his finger from inside you. 

And he takes off his glasses, ready to make you a fucking mess.

It’s the singular hottest action you’ve ever seen anyone do in your entire life- Adrian Chase is going to be the end of you.

He hooks his arms behind your knees, lifting your ass off of the couch and pulling you towards him. 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he says, mesmerised by the way your chest still heaves in the aftershock of your orgasm. Adrian buries his face between your legs, delving his tongue between your lips and exploring your entrance.

He pulls back for a second “I knew you’d taste so fucking good.” 

Fuck. 

You watch as he sucks on two of his fingers and sinks them deep inside you, up to his knuckles. When you repeat his name over and over, he answers by flicking his tongue over your clit.

You gasp at the sensation and grab a fistful of his thick, curly hair. His tongue rolls gentle circles around your clit as his fingers work in and out, softly stretching your pussy. Adrian takes his time now and it’s agonising. 

For so long he’s been having sex as Vigilante. Adrian’s missed this, the freedom of having his mask off. Of taste. And he can’t believe that it’s you that he’s devouring. 

Fuck, and you could lie here like this forever, just enjoying him exploring you, like he wants nothing more than to make you gush all over him and cry his name again. Normally you’d feel under pressure to perform, to give him that second orgasm he’s so determined to draw from you, but the way he’s taking his time, lazily swirling his tongue in circles, and curling his fingers into you makes you dissolve into a puddle.

“Fuuuck,” you whine helplessly, feeling the familiar sensation of you losing yourself, the heat that’s been slowly building deep in your core threatening to boil over. “Can we do this, like, the whole time you’re here protecting me?” Your eyes try to find his but he’s staring at your tits. His other hand is on your hip, fingers not quite stretching up towards you - as if unsure what the boundary is on touching you when it comes to this silly little deal you’ve made.

You pull his hand to your chest, encouraging him to squeeze you. He moans needily between wet, sloppy licks. The sound of him being so turned on just from touching your body, when you haven’t laid a hand on him yet sends ecstasy searing through you.

And it comes, whipping through your core and cracking like thunder. You squeeze your thighs around his head and he lets you set the pace, as you grind yourself wildly onto his tongue, his lips, his chin. Adrian groans in encouragement when you grip the back of his head, his fingers still pressing into your g-spot as you press yourself against his mouth. 

You cum hard again, your rocking hips eventually shuddering to a halt as he gives you a few last long, slow licks. The faint prickle of embarrassment you feel from letting yourself come undone like that vanishes when you see Adrian’s face light up, his lips swollen and sticky, totally enamoured by your now slightly dishevelled appearance. 

His mouth looks irresistible. You slink down off the couch to join him on the floor so you can kiss him desperately. Fuck, why did you ever listen to Taylor? You needed this. Needed him. You taste the sweet, salty juices on Adrian’s lips and on his tongue.

“I’ll admit-” you breathe, pressing your forehead against his. “- you’re like really, really fucking good at that.”

“Told you.” He leans on the couch and gets to his feet. “So, where’s your bedroom?”

“Uh, down the hall, across from the bathroom. Why?”

“Two orgasms and I can do what I want with you. Deal’s a deal.” Before your brain can catch up, he hoists you to your feet and over his shoulder, making you squeal involuntarily with delight.

Oh my fucking god.

Adrian slaps your ass and carries you through to your bedroom, tossing you onto your bed where you burst into a fit of giggles. He smells warm and clean, like your favourite shower gel he must have used earlier. He crawls on top of you and plants tiny kisses all over your lips, your cheeks, your nose- every inch of your face and neck peppered with his affection. 

He pulls off his T-shirt and - Jesus Christ, he has abs. But you also notice his torso is covered in scars and bruises, the evidence of his double life painted across his body. A streak of white scar tissue here, a purple welt there-

“Don’t girls usually ask about all these injuries?” You ask, tracing your hand down his chest.

“I usually keep my suit on.” He shrugs.

And that’s when you realise- he doesn’t just happen to have sex as Vigilante. He only has sex as Vigilante. You feel a pang of understanding, thinking about the way he so wistfully described missionary earlier. You’re the only one who’s seen him like this. Both sides of him.

Adrian undoes his belt buckle and looks down at you lying spread out of the bedsheets in front of him, still flushed and glowing. He knew he’d be able to make you glow like that.

He pauses. “Do, uh, do you have a condom? I wasn’t expecting to…”

You find a condom in your bedside drawer while he undresses and then you help to put it on him as you kiss the small trail of dark hair below his belly button. He’s big- bigger than what you’re used to. You’d really, really like to suck it, you think. But Adrian has other ideas. He guides you back to lie on your pillows and climbs on top of you.

Wanton anticipation bubbles over inside you, you sigh needily as he kisses your neck and brings his calloused hand between your legs again. He slides his fingers into your folds and you hear the wet sounds of him rubbing your slick on his cock. It’s greedy but you’re already impatient for him- you want to cum for him again.

He positions himself at your entrance and looks into your eyes. “You okay?” he murmurs.

“Yes,” you breathe. “Fuck me- please.”

The way you plead makes him twitch- he can’t take it anymore. The erection he’s had since you opened that second bottle of wine is throbbing. Adrian’s hips press into you and you feel his cock pushing through your folds, into your centre. A soft whimper escapes your lips as you feel him filling you up, the walls of your pussy struggling to accommodate him.

Watching your reaction, he double checks “Sure you’re okay?” 

You nod. Because it aches - but in the best kind of way. 

“Good,” he says. “Because you feel so good. Your pussy feels so fucking good around me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist. Fuck, he has such a slutty little waist, you think to yourself as he grinds into you, pushing deeper, the head of his cock pressing into your g-spot. You slip your hand between your bodies to touch yourself and he moans quietly in your ear.

“Oh my god, yeah. Fuck, rub your clit because I’m not gonna last long.”

He clasps your other hand, fingers intertwining with yours- half holding it, half pinning it to the bed. Your body writhes under him, leaning your head back into your pillows and he takes the opportunity to suck at your freshly exposed neck.

“You look so good taking it so deep like this,” he groans, tilting his head down to watch his cock slide in and out of you. “I can’t believe I’m fucking inside you.”

Everything he says makes the hairs on the back of your arms stand up. You feel so, deliciously full- the indecent slapping and squelching noises as he picks up pace and pounds into you only makes you wetter.

Your legs squeeze around his waist as your whole body tightens like a spring coiling, ready to be released. The friction of his body moves yours, driving you into your mattress, and putting even more rhythmic pressure on your fingers against your clit. 

“Adrian, I’m- ah, fuck- I’m gonna cum again.”

“Fuck, look at me. I want you to cum when I cum. Let it all out for me.”

You try and keep eye contact with him while bliss rockets through your body as his hips slam into you harder. It spreads from your centre right down your legs, now in a vice-like grip around him. You curse his name incoherently, your pussy tightening and releasing as you cum around his cock. 

“That’s it- fuckfuckfuckfuck-” His full weight collapses on you as he empties himself. You feel Adrian’s cock pulsing inside you as he groans your name and comes to a halt.

You both lie there for a few moments, Adrian breathing raggedly into the crook of your neck, his heartbeat and yours pounding against each other. Your euphoria is interrupted only briefly when he pulls out of you and disposes of the condom. 

Adrian returns to your bed and pulls you into his chest. 

“I am never listening to Taylor ever again,” you say, face pressed against his pectoral muscles.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, unless…” You tilt your head up to look at him. “You still want to take me on a date right?”

“Are you crazy? Of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Nevermind.” The dating scene in Evergreen has sucked so hard for so long, your first thought was that he might not want to see you again.

He grabs your face with both hands, trying to drum sense into you. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for months. You’re not getting rid of me.”

Adrian plants a kiss on your forehead.

Maybe there is a decent man in this town after all.

[zahri-melitor]

What's the Williamson thing? I don't think I've read much of his work

This is not exclusive to Williamson in any way, but he's part of it.

There are a bunch of DC writers who have a decided tendency to place more emphasis on biological relationships than adoptive ones. Williamson's a known example.

This affects variously families differently. Flashfam are less affected because they're almost all actual interrelated family members, however it's particularly noticeable in the writing of Bat, Super and Arrow titles.

(Aquafam is its own special case because 'biological v adoptive v foster' dramas extend back to the Bronze Age. Fortunately nobody seems to have let these writers near the Marvelfam/Shazamily much)

But essentially, it shows up as a tendency to define Damian Wayne, Jon Kent, Connor Hawke and Emiko Queen specifically by their biological relationships to Bruce, Clark and Ollie, and minimising the importance of adoptive bonds.

This is where you'll see things like Dick Grayson referred to as "Bruce's ward" in a title published in the 2020s, or Dick mention Bruce to Damian as "your father" (not ours), or have Ollie thinking about "my son Connor and my former sidekick Roy", or describing Roy as "like a son", or suggestions that there wasn't a Super Family before Jon arrived and that obviously the only possible Superman replacement for Clark is Jon, and so on.

It's this insidious "adoptive relationships and foster relationships are great but this here is your own flesh and blood, your biological child, and that is something that has its own special importance above and beyond any child you have chosen to look after". Which is something that some people do think and struggle with in blended families! But which gets really noticeable when it's prioritised in properties that were originally about families of choice.

Because we're talking about Joshua Williamson, and I was referring to his writing of Damian in particular:

It's having Alfred say to Damian “Bruce would have wanted you to be Robin” and claiming that is a scene that happened during Batman R.I.P., even though Tim was very much still Bruce's Robin at the time, had been promised by Bruce that he could be Robin as long as he wanted to be, and was literally in costume as Robin trying to hold the city together and track down and imprison Hush with Dick.

It's the attitude that Damian was entitled to be Robin because he was Bruce's son, and being Robin is a marker of being Bruce's Blood Son, whether or not Damian is actually doing the job of Robin.

It's scenes of Bruce and Damian going "Father and son. Batman and Robin. We don't need anyone else" even as Tim is currently also Robin and a very important thread of Bat family storytelling for the last 30 years is that yes, actually Bruce does need his family, he does need more than one single connection, the network is important at keeping him grounded and sane and able to do the job.

It's just...sigh. Joshua Williamson at it again.

[xf-cases-solved]

i've been doing my xfiles rewatch, but i've also been watching twin peaks for the first time with my partner (v weird that i haven't seen it before bc it's very much My Type of show, but w/e), and silence of the lambs was already my favorite movie. so since my personal aesthetic is apparently very specifically honed in on creepy and weird early 90s entertainment centered around fbi agents, here's a collection of random crossover thoughts i've had while watching these things, in no particular order:

-twin peaks, xfiles, silence of the lambs, except all the characters are shifted one plot to the left, so you have mulder and scully trying to figure out the death of laura palmer, clarice assigned to the xfiles division, and dale cooper having to make a rapport with dr. hannibal lecter

-separate thought: if mulder and scully met dale cooper, mulder would be absolutely delighted, and scully would want to put his head on a slab. this would just make mulder more delighted

cooper would be very pleasant to them both, but would find mulder's lack of self-care unsettling. mulder would be trying to talk about the case when cooper would interrupt him to tell him to try the mulberry pie and take a moment to savor it

he would also be able to follow scully's reasonings and would know all the references to scientific studies she makes, and would be like, "very clever! you're very intelligent!" not in a facetious way, he'd mean it genuinely, but then he'd still insist that his dream will lead them to the killer and she'd want to rip her hair out

-cooper to m&s, apropos of nothing: so how long have the two of you been in love?

-scully would not enjoy twin peaks. too rustic, too weird, too many affairs to keep track of

-mulder would love it for all the reasons she hates it

-if clarice and scully met they would get to know each other carnally, obviously. msr can still exist, but mulder has to be ok with being cuckolded by special agent clarice starling

he can watch sometimes, if wants ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-agent crawford would have one (1) conversation with mulder and would immediately write him off as insane and never talk to him again

-crawford and scully would get along fine

-clarice and cooper would be buds, bc even tho cooper is fucking weird, he would be very enthusiastic about how clever she is, and would talk her up constantly, and clarice would appreciate the validation and kindness (besides, she's pseudo friends with hannibal lecter, cooper's idiosyncrasies are nothing in comparison)

-hannibal lecter wouldn't be able to manipulate mulder, but he wouldn't be that impressed by him either. it would be a mutual disdain. they could potentially have a hannibal/will graham-esque relationship but eh

-as badly as a "quid pro quo" scene between scully and hannibal would slap, i can't imagine scully giving hannibal anything to work with. she wouldn't stick around to play games; she doesn't have time for it and would never be able to regard him as anything besides a monster

mulder would agree to take on the puzzles, and hannibal might give them to him, but he'd taunt him and send him on wild goose chases more than he does with clarice, bc mulder doesn't have anything he particularly wants, but he is vaguely curious to see if he can figure it out. (mulder WOULD figure it out, but only with the addition of scully's analysis and theories, not hannibal's direction alone)

-hannibal would not talk to cooper lol. cooper would figure out who buffalo bill is anyway, tho

-nobody at the fbi in the xfiles universe would know how to handle dale cooper. skinner especially would be very -squints- about it, bc he'd get results, but would just be so fucking Weird™️ about it, but in such a different way than mulder is weird

-the lone gunmen would be very sweet and protective over clarice. they would be very confused and vaguely unsettled by cooper

-clarice would be skinner's dream agent bc she would listen to him and value his input and rarely punch him in the face or hold him at gunpoint

-while i can picture clarice getting the hang of the xfiles, i have trouble picturing her in twin peaks (tho, do note that i haven't seen all of it so mb that would change)

-this isn't a headcanon so much as a v obvious observation, but they are all so fucking hot, what the fuck??

-final thought: dale cooper, clarice starling, dana scully, and fox mulder = dream blunt rotation

anyway those are some of the things i think about in my spare time

the end

[jawnscoffee]

Sherlock's Wedding Speech

ok so this is a very random onehsot i've head in my head for AGES and it rained today and that means: perfect day to stay inside and write :D

the title says everything (even though i have NO idea if sherlock would actually say sth like this but i just love his best man speech way too much). hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ladies and gentlemen, family, friends, and...uhm... others. 

When I stood here for the first time, I was babbling something about telegrams that John received, which, in case you forgot, are still not actually telegrams; we just call them telegrams. I still haven't figured out why, by the way. I guess I'll just have to be content with the fact that it's a wedding tradition.  

When I stood here for the first time, I thought telegrams were stupid because I didn't know what it was like to receive telegrams myself. I didn't understand why people would congratulate you on something like a wedding or on finding somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. I thought it was stupid since a wedding is nobody else's business anyway, and after all, it is very rare that you actually do end up spending the rest of your life with the particular person you married that day.  I didn't understand because I didn't know back then what it felt like to have found someone you knew you would love for the rest of your life and even longer still, no matter what. I didn't understand because I didn't know what it felt like to be loved by this particular person just as much in return. 

When John Watson asked me to marry him, I suddenly did.  

John Watson. My friend, John Watson. My...love. 

When John first broached the subject of getting married, I was confused—even more so when he asked me to be his best man.  I confess that at first, once again, I didn't realise he was asking me. It took me a little longer to understand what he was saying than when he asked me to be his best man and why he, all of a sudden, knelt down in front of me. I couldn't express just a scrap of emotion, which, understandably, unsettled John a bit.  Looking back at it, I think the reason why I couldn't do it was because, just as I didn't expect to be anybody's best man or best friend, I didn't expect anybody to ever kneel down for me. Or, well, propose to me, as I later understood.  

For a very long time, I thought that a wedding was nothing short of a celebration of all that is false, specious, irrational, and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. I considered a wedding to be nothing but honouring the death watch beetle that is the doom of our society and, in time, one feels certain, our entire species. I, unfortunately, stated both of these fairly openly, if anyone has trouble remembering.  

When John knelt down in front of me and asked me to be his husband, though, this mindset died just like my false belief about telegrams, and I finally started to understand. 

John Watson right here is not only my helpmate during my adventures, which I consider to have been ours for a long time, actually. John Watson is not only the bravest, kindest, and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing, even though this is, by any means, the case. 

This man, whom I am lucky enough to call my husband from now on, is far more than that.  

John Watson is the person I have never even imagined meeting, since it takes a good bit of luck to meet your special someone. But I did have this luck. Because John Watson is my special someone.

He is the person I will love for the rest of my life and even longer, and he has saved me from so many misfortunes I'm unable to put into words.

He is not only my best friend and the one whom I love most in this world, but also the one who showed me what it's like to be loved in return. He showed me that receiving felicitating telegrams is actually not a stupid thing at all, because sometimes even I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found my very own kind of forever.

He showed me that weddings are not a death watch beetle that is the doom of our society, but rather a promise that I am more than willing to make.  

This time, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion, John. I'm still an utterly ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship and...love. But, nevertheless, I will happily thank everyone who congratulates me. 

When I say I love this man and will love him until all eternity, it is the truest promise of which I'm capable.

I won't say that I love John more than anybody has ever loved anyone before, since you cannot and should not compare one love to another. However, when I say I love this man, I mean that I love him more than anyone will ever love him and has ever loved him before, and that I have a lifetime ahead to prove that.  

With the bright rings on our ring fingers, I've made an even brighter promise I will never forget to try to fulfil. 

John, when you knelt down, you made me, and this is something I can say for certain, the happiest man on earth.  I wish I could describe it more in detail, but I simply love you more than words can say.  

With the rings on our fingers, you stole the very last piece of my heart, and I'm not afraid to call myself a heartless man any more. 

I don't need legal papers to say that I'm yours and you're mine, because I already am and will always be yours. But if this is the way to celebrate the luck I've got, I'll be more than happy to raise my glass to the man who is not only my love but also my husband from this day on.  

I love you, John Watson, more than everything I've ever loved before. Thank you for making me the happiest I've ever been.    

tagging: @topsyturvy-turtely @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk @peanitbear @just-a-fixed-point-in-time @dw91165 @writingloud @7-percent @blogstandbygoy @johnlockifconvenient @kat987 @mary-johnlocked @meohmycroft @consultingtribble @paulineholmes02 @jameshavinganxiety @lastsociopaths @catlock-holmes @jobooksncoffee (hope that's okay! tbh still don't get when and what people you're supposed to tag...)

[lilac-cat-draws]

Been taking my time, adding some stuff in this AU, mostly starting off with writing some dialogue along with some sketches that I think would fit the characters in the Genshin universe

I’m not going to write all of the voice overs, so I'll be mostly focusing on the ones I think would be more interesting to write about, also it was very difficult for me to get this to sound in character so this is my attempt

Dazai’s “Voice-Over”

Hello

Greetings I’m Osamu Dazai, it’s a pleasure to meet you. If you need any help, come to the Armed Detective Agency and we’ll deal with the issue. But looking at you, you seem to be handling things fine on your own, but if you’re considering feel free to contact us.

~

About Kujou Sara

Ah, you mean the tengu lady in the Tenryou Commission? Why yes I’ve met her, she would work along side us on more difficult cases and we don’t really see eye to eye most of the time which is unfortunate.

~

About Shikanoin Heizou

Never thought that the Tenryou Commission would have their own skilled detective, he’s sharp like a certain someone I know and his method of investigation is quite unique. A detective who stops a crime before it even starts, hmm interesting.

~

About Nakajima Atsushi

Atsushi has been my most fateful subordinate ever since I took him in. The boy has a lot of potential under all of his insecurities, also he’s been the most reliable when it comes to doing the paperwork I don’t want to do.

~

About Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Oh him? I don’t have anything special to say about him in particular but I had something in mind. What is it? Well I’m not telling.

~

About Nakahara Chuuya

Ugh, that slug? He can be irritating sometimes, not to mention his fashion sense I mean really? *sigh* Besides that, he has his moments where he’s a lot more bearable and it is fun to mess with him whenever I get the chance.

~

About the Vision

I didn’t think the gods would acknowledge me of all people to deserve a vision, well I personally don’t mind this, but I doubt I’d really put this thing to much further use, other than what I used to use it for.

~

Birthday

Hey, since today is your special day, thought I’d take you around they city and grab something to eat, and as for the bill you don’t have to worry about that, my work partner can pay the expenses for us later.

~

More About Osamu Dazai: I

Have you ever been to our detective agency by any chance? It can be quite the treat if you get the chance to know us and as someone with first hand experience I’ll gladly give you a tour of the office and the various cases we deal with on a regular basis, hey I could even recruit you in, you seem to have the skills to join. No need? well it’s fine but if you change your mind, the offer is still on the table.

~

More About Osamu Dazai: II

There is this one coworker I know who is really fun to tease, he sticks to his ideals so much he can be a bit gullible. i would sometimes give him what he thinks could be vital information only for me to them tell him it wasn’t true. Believe me, it really livens up the workplace.

~

More About Osamu Dazai: III

Whenever the agency gets reached out with a certain case, it would be something along the lines of what the usual police couldn’t handle and on some instances we would collaborate with them for the more serious situations and It also means there would be more paperwork for the Agency to deal with *sigh*, and it’s no fun having to do nothing but that so I just don’t bother.

~

More About Osamu Dazai: IV

Why did I join the Armed Detective Agency? Well you’re pretty nosy aren’t you. It’s nothing special, but let’s just say that I joined because I’ve made a promise to someone long ago. I’d rather not have someone poking into my past like that so this is all the information you’ll get out of me.

~

More About Osamu Dazai: V

I always wonder what’s the value of living, what purpose do we need to serve in order to continue that. You seem to know what you want and by the time you get it, what now? As for me, well I’m just going through the motions and see what happens next and maybe I’ll find the reason I’m searching for

This is the best I could do, might edit this since I wrote this late at night

[mrssimply]

Hi!

Sorry to brother you with one of your old cyberpunk 2077 works, but I've been tortured by "what if" scenario. What if it was Kerry who died in "Until we meet again" world?

HELLO!

First of all, you're not bothering me AT ALL, I'm super happy you want to talk about that fiction. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, Until we Meet Again has a very special place in my heart, because it's not only a work I'm proud of, it was also a friendship adventure!

But back on topic.

I really never thought about it before seeing your ask, and it really threw me in a loop. I really came up blank at first, like it was just impossible.

Also, a funny thing is that @koda-shoulda-woulda-but-didnt and I were talking about a similar scenario he had for a story a few weeks before your ask, so my first move was to send him that with "maybe you should answer it xD".

No that I've thought about it a little bit more (sorry for the delay), here is what I can say.

[Spoiler for the fic, obviously, so I put everything under the cut just in case]

What makes the situation in the original fic particularly tragic, is that V is the cog that finally makes it work between Johnny and Kerry. Him dying also means the end of that (which is why Johnny end up nearly killing Kerry out of grief). Any other member of the trouple dying would've been a better outcome (I know it sounds harsh like that) simply because V is the only one in that trio who know how to articulate emotions and deal with them. The other two are too emotionally immature to get by by themselves. They deal with grief by turning it into violence against themselves, against each other, against the world.

V being alive means he would've been here to help Johnny through his grief. I think in that case, despite the process still being pretty violent, Johnny would've come out better and more balanced. I think he might have taken a bigger leadership role into the revolution (in the fic, people think he and Kerry are the leaders but it's actually Rogue who is doing all the work, they're just here to fight and kill people and then they basically disapear, you won't even see them at the debrief). V being here to help him through the process would've had a similar result than what we see in game, he would be more tempered and less angry, he would try to do something positive for the world. But I also think he would become particularly paranoid about V coming to harm, so he would constantly be trying to stop him from going on dangerous jobs, and they would fight a lot about how, since V is the leader of their revolution, he shouldn't be on the field so much, he should send Johnny, Johnny is there for that, it doesn't matter if Johnny dies (You can imagine V's reaction to that particular argument).

Helping Johnny through his grief also means V doesn't have a lot of room to deal with his. V dealing with his grief would be pretty much invisible anyway, he would deal with it inwardly and silently. His mother would help him deal with it, but she would be the only one he would let in. I think it might even lead people to wonder if he was really attached to Kerry, if he seems to be doing so fine just a few months after. The truth is, he would probably be so worried and focused on Johnny he would "forget" to deal with his own emotions, and it would backfire at some point, probably months or even years later. The moment Johnny would show the first signs of being able to walk on his own, V would probably crumble, and he would totally try to hide it from Johnny, from fear it would worry him. Grief would make V close up on himself more, he would be really exhausted from it. He wouldn't grow cold, quiet the contrary, he would throw himself at the grief of others, help them through it because it's the only way he knows how to deal with his. But he would certainly become more... mysterious?

They would have that relationship where they try to protect the other so much they end up hurting themselves and the other. It would drive Rogue mad because they end up making decisions to try to protect the other from harm instead of beeing rational and seeing the big picture. She would totally learn how to play on that anyway because she ain't the Queen of Darnkess for nothing <3.

But I think in the end, he and Johnny would've broken up, probably in a weird way where they just drift silently appart, and don't talk about it and one day Johnny takes his stuff and moves out and V doesn't say anything about it so he thinks that's it, that's what he wanted. They both think that the other left because being together hurt too much. And they would be those weird exes that clearly still love each other, get jealous when the other is seeing someone else (but I'm not sure V would ever have any other relationship, but Johnny would absolutely have a string of meaningless flings he would parade in front of V just to get a reaction, and be disapointed when V seemingly doesn't care). Contrary to Johnny and Kerry in the original fic, they would'nt sleep with each other anymore (V's rule).

Now, another point is also how Kerry ended up on that mission, and I think it's pretty easy. He nearly did in the original fic, actually. The moment they get on the chopper, he regrets not going with them so it's easy to imagine he would decide to go at the last moment. I really think he had his gear ready, but he hid it from Johnny and V because he lept hesitating to go. He really wanted to get out of merc life, go back to music, but at the same time the mission looked pretty dangerous and he needed to be with them. During the mission, Johnny and he would fall back on their habit from the war, so Kerry would follow him in his mad taunting of Smasher, and Kerry would take the hits instead of Johnny. Also, V would totally be haunted by the idea he could've lost both, since they were standing so close. For a moment, he thought they were both dead, since Johnny still took some bullets too.

As for Kerry being brought back to life as a clone, Arasaka would follow basically the same idea as in the original fic. I just think it would work even less because Kerry is a LOT more feral than V, so he would've made a pretty bad bodyguard xD. So instead of that, they would've turned him into a starlet like the Us Crack. Getting him on stage and singing in front of thousands would've been the only way to keep him somewhat in line, and that way he also brought them money. His stage persona would be wearing a mask or a helmet to prevent people from reognize him. He would be a pop star, but couldn't help but lean into rock, and fight his creative team to push for more gritty sounds, like this band, Samurai? And the team would be like "oh no, Kerry-san, Samurai is super bad, lets focus on your collab with Us Cracks?" (he would've totally been working on a hard rock cover of their collab song with the girls in secret).

That's how Johnny and V finds him: they are to meet with Yorinobu in secret during the concert to get the relic, but Saburo learns about it, comes to the concert, cue chaos happens (everyone survives, including Jackie who was part of the team on site, of course). In the mayhem, V and Johnny end up fighting off Arasaka guards on stage, and by some Divine Intervention on the author's part, Kerry's helmet gets thrown off his face.

I think the key difference in that story would be that... Kerry was sorta happier in his rebirth as a clone: he gets to be on stage, to sing, be heard and admired, it's bascally what he wanted. He also gets pampered from the starts (since they're observing the long term consequences of cloning and using the relic, he's basically a diva), so he wouldn't know any of the hardships he knew in his past life. Sure, he gets the same feeling of missing a vital part of himself, but it just makes him a better musician, and he probably thought it was part of being born to create music.

Meeting Johnny and V is first a rush of joy when part of himself recognize his soulmates, but the more he learns about them, about who their are, what they're doing, and who he was before... The less enthusiastic he is about it. Johnny of course doesn't react well to that (what a surprise), because it's such a slap in the face to have Kerry reject and critisize the life he had, saying he was pretty much miserable from what they're telling him, and that he doesn't want it. Seeing his best friend, the one that was here from the begining, that saved him time and time again, dismiss their time in the war, their struggles, and their causes, being such a fucking bitch, he would hate it.

V, ever the respectful baby that he is, tries to give Kerry space, understand his perspective etc etc. But at the same time, the grief he burried deep inside of him is coming full force, and he's going to have to face it now. Kerry is actually a lot more interested by that, by this mad who seems so fucking sad, who has such pretty puppy eyes, and who treats him like he's divine, and yet it's so different from the worship he gets from fans. Kerry would actually want to make him feel better, because when he looks at V, he just wants to hold the man and cry.

Kerry and Johnny would probably reconcile through music (very original, I know), when Johnny discovers the cover Kerry and the Us Cracks were working on. It sounds like a Samurai song, and the lyrics that sounded so bland over a pop song actually resonate a lot more with heavy riffs behind. Suddenly, it's a revolutionary song.

The rest of the fic's events would probably happen the same way. I think Kerry would've about the same struggles to reconcile who is and what he was. Also, I imagine the conversation with Alt would be enlighning like "Oh yeah, Johnny loved me but even I wasn't such a fool I couldn't see he loved you more and was just afraid that saying it out loud would curse it and you would be taken away from him, and hey, look, he was right! Now, kiss your doppleganger so I can get back to destrying Mikoshi".

I think the story would end on V finally crying, finally talking about his own grief, finally being conforted by Johnny and Kerry.

There. I aswered. It was a wild ride actually, and a very interesting exercise. Thank you so, so much anon for asking about it. Allowing an author to talk about their stories is the best gift you can give them, and me in that occurence!!!

So really, thank you so much, whoever you are <3

[godlizzza]

Hi can i ask who your saw guys are, so i can read your fic without watching? ❤️👀

Okay so here's a basic run down on my Saw Guys:

This ^ is Tits McGee, aka Mark Hoffman. He's a homicide detective, who's working undercover as the Jigsaw killer's (John Kramer) secret apprentice. Helping him set up his traps, kidnap his victims and overall just being a sneaky lil boy. His sister was murdered by her boyfriend at the time, and he only served 5 years for it, which obviously upset Hoffman quite a bit. So, he made his own trap, put the guy in it, killed him and tried to frame it as a Jigsaw murder (this is the iconic pendulum trap from the opening sequence of Saw V!). This got John Kramer's attention and he ended up accosting Hoffman and offering (via blackmail) to take him under his wing. Once John died in Saw III, Hoffman took over the mantle as Jigsaw and continued putting people in traps, many of which John designed before he died.

All you need to know about Hoffman is that he's the most ruthless of John's apprentices and I love him dearly, bastard that he is.

This deranged man ^ is Peter Strahm. He's a special agent who works for the FBI. He and his partner, Perez, are introduced in Saw IV to assist the police unit Hoffman's a part of in investigating the Jigsaw murders. A lot of things happen, a lot of people die, and Hoffman walks away as the only survivor. He tries to kill Strahm by placing him in an unwinnable trap (the water cube trap from Saw V), but Strahm miraculously survives, throwing a wrench in Hoffman's plans. Strahm is then very suspicious of Hoffman and investigates him, even after he's been kicked off the Jigsaw case. He slowly uncovers Hoffman's past/crimes, which leads to him following Hoffman into a murder maze beneath his house. This is where we get the iconic glass coffin trap (which is also where the ship name 'coffinshipping' comes from).

That's where this scene, which you will see in practically every piece of hoffstrahm fan media in existence, comes from. Basically, Strahm throws Hoffman into the coffin, thinking he's won and put him in one of Hoffman's own traps. That is until Hoffman pulls out the ultimate uno reverse card and it turns out the coffin is the only way to survive this particular trap. The coffin, with Hoffman safely inside it, lowers into a gap in the floor, while the walls of the locked room begin to close in. Strahm tries to escape but it's futile and he gets squished to a pulp while Hoffman watches on, smirking. You also see that while Strahm has been looking into Hoffman, Hoffman has been planting evidence to frame Strahm as the secret Jigsaw accomplice, putting him in a better spot than ever before.

The appeal of the ship largely comes from the cat and mouse dynamic the two of them have. Also, their mash of unhinged, violent personalities just makes for the best kind of conflict. They really only have very few scenes of the two of them interacting directly, but the amount of time they dedicate to obsessing and wondering about the other makes it so juicy.

My current hoffstrahm wip, 90s Killer, is a kind of 'what if?' type fic, where Strahm is suddenly transported back in time at the moment of his death in the crusher room. He meets a younger Hoffman, pre his sister, Angelina's, death. This version of Hoffman is quite different from the one Strahm met in the present day (though also similar in a lot of ways), and Strahm is trying to change the past to prevent Angelina's death and keep Hoffman from ever going down the Jigsaw path, and eventually killing Strahm in the future.

I'd personally recommend just watching all the hoffstrahm scenes on Youtube (they're pretty easy to find, esp since Strahm is only alive for 2 of the og 7 Saw movies). This will help give you an idea of their vibe both individually and together. Happy reading!

[awhalesrider]

Our beloved V and her love

Players have been looking at the world from V's perspective. Valerie is the observer who brings our eyes. We see the story of many characters, but we have less opportunity to observe our girl. Perhaps it is easy to be less sensitive to many of her behaviors and emotions, since we have been long used to seeing those options as a means to serve the plot of the game. However, if we do not take it all for granted, but think deep inside the logic behind with some of our subjective initiative, we will realize that the johnny/v relationship from V's perspective may be a perfect example of "showing instead of telling".

Valerie seems to be more accustomed to show her love and care to others. She is the one always offering a helping hand in her established relationship. You can say this is a coincidence caused by the characteristics of the first-person RPG, but in any case, the result is that she is relatively more introverted in various relationships. She listens instead of telling. It's more like everyone needs her than she needs them [born to be a merc, don't you think?]. She listens to everyone's troubles and solves all kinds of problems, but she seldom easily shows her vulnerability until she has to. Even if she decides not to hide the sad truth from her friends, she rarely asks for support directly. What she says more is "It's okay." or "I feel better now. No worries." or "I've found a way. Hope it works". This is what I find most endearing and remarkable about our girl - the main storyline is her plight. She is dying. Her life is counting down. She is the one who needs help. But beyond that, dozens of side jobs are basically about her pulling others out of the shadows, out of the mire, and into a new life. Imagine a patient with terminal cancer who is still doing psychological therapy for others, and you will find that she is so strong and brave, and so good at pretending; that she can even fool the group of strangers behind the screen who think they know her best. The new legend in NC that we knew doesn't even know how to escape the scythe of death.

This is where it gets interesting. With Valerie, we visited Judy's hometown flooded by the reservoir. We met the family members who are dependent on River. We understand the past of Panam and Aldecados. And we know very well the years of light and gloom of Kerry.

The problem is, we don't know much about V. We have only a one-sided perception of her life. Again, you can say that this is the beauty of first-person RPGs! Leaving enough room for the player's imagination! We can totally make up our story for our V. But the objective truth is that our knowledge of V's memory in the game is from the prologue and some seperated side jobs about her background (i.e., street kid/corpo/nomad). In addition, what we get is only fragments of her childhood that she dictated to herself, and Johnny's words.

Yes. Johnny's words describing the first half of V's life.

The man is the closest obeserver of V.

V: "Sure seem to know a lot about my past."

Johnny:"Well, seen flashes of your past, just like you've seen flashes of mine."

That's what makes their relationship so special. Valerie rarely reveals her past voluntarily and shows her thoughts, but whether she wants it or not, she has a partner who shares these secrets with her and is as close to her as her sense of self. I have to mention her time with the joytoys in the clouds that connects her subconscious. In fact, if we talk to the end, we will find that it is very much like a simple conversation she had with Johnny back in the Tapeworm. Angel and the Sky have slightly different lines, but they both end with the phrase "If you must kill, kill. If you must burn all the world to the ground, then let it burn.", I don't think this is an echo without any particular purposes.

So for Valerie, the relationship with Johnny is different from her other intimate relationships. In the dialogue with Johnny we can see Valerie releasing her various emotions to the greatest extent possible. She rarely comes across as the strong and reliable merc who seems to be powerful and always makes people feel safe. On the contrary, in Tapeworm and Chippin' In, we can see V show her vulnerability and sensitivity while changing Johnny. She often expresses her confusion and anger. She no longer says "I found a way". She asks "what do you want". She can be confused, fearful of death, and greedy for life. she becomes a resentful and incomprehensible about the city and her fate. She becomes an ordinary young person, resentful and uncomprehending about the city and her fate. Johnny knows her past like he knows the back of his hand. He knows everything she cares about most and the root of all her fears. He listens to her, understands her and even stubbornly decides to save her. He keeps asking her forcefully to accept his help and reminds her after the meaningful concert that "Kerry's got his life back. Whereas we should be worryin' about how to get yours back". So Mr. Pondsmith, the original author of the board game, is right in saying that because of Johnny's presence, V was cushioned before she had a nervous breakdown and became a cyber psychopath.

Such companionship and closeness would be like painkillers. Perhaps V is unconscious to herself, but she has developed dependence long before she realizes. Her subconscious habit of defending him would have been able to show her subtle preference. Before she knew it, Johnny was already a source of security. No matter how much she usually argued with him and said she didn't want to hear him anymore, her subconscious was looking for him at the most fearful and uncomfortable times.

When V first accessed the cyberspace in the Pacifica with the Voodoo Boys, she uneasily seeked confirmation from Johnny as she stepped into the biting cold water. And before she had a near-death experience of that time of unconsciousness, she fell to the ground and called out Johnny's name, saying in her mind that she was going to die, until he held her wrist and said she ain't dying yet cuz he got her. It is said that people are most honest when they are dying. Did Valerie find her true feelings about him at that time? Did she realize that she only wanted to rely on this pure solace of the heart, despite all the friends she had met, despite knowing that Johnny could not technically and literally offer her a hand in the material world?

Maybe that's why she gave that answer when Johnny asked her if she would take a bullet for him.

The Johnny in her head is just a mass of data, a phantom, and a copy of the engram. Everyone including Johnny knows this, and Valerie reminds herself of this fact from time to time, but she still believes in the end that he is a part of her soul, a comrade who will accompany her to the end. The kitten (Nibbles) they picked up together was real, the tattoos he left on her arm were real, and so were his dog tags and his promises.

Valerie's desire to live is so strong, but in the most ideal development path of the plot, even if she had to endure the suffer because of the RELIC, she didn't even take much of tablet to block him out until the final rooftop choice. Could it be that she would rather endure physical pain than experience sudden loneliness and isolation on a spiritual level? She emphasizes her control over her body, yet she swallows Endotrizine for him again and again to fulfill his last wish when she knows she is getting closer to death. Why could she trust a man who was destined to take her life? Why can you trust someone who has shown all his "previous conviction" to her, someone she knows is a jerk in the past?

Only Valerie knows why.

In the deleted dialogue, Hellman says that she, letting Johnny control her body, is like a young girl in love and doesn't care anything else (I dont know the original lines in English but I do see the line in the Chinese ver voice package). In the end of the secret ending, Rogue said that Johnny must have made a pretty big impression on V for getting on board. The truth is it's hard for an outsider to really understand what it's like to have someone so close in spirit.

It's never the same thing as "Let's try. We can break up if it doesn't work out". Once that "you're in me, and I'm in you" state is confirmed, she can't get out of it - unless she denies herself. As long as she can't let go of herself, she can't let go of him. She's willing to give to him as much as she's willing to give to herself.

So even at the end of the six months Valerie has left to live, she will feel that she can't hear him anymore and can't see him anymore, but she will never lose him. There will always be a part of her soul that belongs to him. Maybe she will listen to his songs, holding all the traces of him left behind and missing him without a word, because no one can understand.

She will only tell them that she just got used to him.

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XXXV

-𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔞 𝔮𝔲𝔦, 𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔦!

{or indirect communication devices between prisonners}

Once is not enough, from Devices heroiques et emblemes, by Calude Paradin (1614)

make sure to read @sainteverge and @counterwiddershins 's posts as well

Our heroine has managed to continue the siege in her room under the threat of suicide. Debby has made a habit of inspecting her room, and one time scanning the woodworks, she finds a graphite scrawl on it saying “cerca qui, troverai” or “search here, you will find”. She introduces her fingers on a gap in the frieze. She is able to remove it, and to introduce her hand in it only to find a small volume of Petrarca (a poet who specialized in Love poems, and whose adressee Laura -fun fact-was a distant relation to the Marquis de Sade)(that's basically all i know about him)

Debby correctly asumes there has to be more than just a hidden book to the mystery but the volume is all she can find, so she sits down to read her favorite sonnets to soothe herself. (Debby was taught italian as a young girl, by her maternal grandfather, unless i am misremembering, so she loves the language because Borel is a Romantic and she -despite being Irish- is a latin coded woman with everything that implies in this era, to this particular writer, but it also echoes those happy childhood days)

and she is correct, there is more to be found. She finds more graphite handwritten words in the blank page before the frontis. The handwriting isn't easy to descipher... since it was surely written in secrecy and perhaps in a hurry. But it also seems metaphorical, one has to make a physical effort to get to the truth, if this is indeed a real testimony by a prisoner. (which I tend to think it is, but given that we've all seen V for Vendetta we probably all suspected this to be a perverse device by the jailers, since as we will see, the testimony aims to bring peace and passivity to the newer captives)

The letter reads as written by a candid and naive woman. The letter is also contradictory, it mentions an imperious need for distractions from suffering, since the writer is a victim of kidnapping and is kept a prisonner who is expected to sexually satisfy a complete stranger who is clearly very powerful; but the letter also expresses immense gratitude for her fortune. All this suffering has led to a fortuitous event. The man is not just any nobleman (as Deborah already suspected, the story about the noble benefactor who would eventually marry her is a lie) he is the King himself, and the person writing the letter is soon to birth a bastard son of the monarch. So she is to be “set free”. And she is happy and grateful for she is, like the narrator says, a madwoman. a poor fool. It is not impossible that the woman and her child were both already killed. It is counterproductive to the regime to have out of control bastards lying around and women blabbing about the secret harem where children and widows are kidnapped.

The writer is also, a fervent catholic, which seems relevant given how we have seen how faith in most cases, makes our heores passive -making Patrick leave everything in the hands of god when he could have taken the initiative and acted earlier- and vulnerable-Deborah lying on the floor in public in a place she is known to frequent, making it easier for the king's men to grab her and kidnap her) Maria degli Angeli, her name or what she was called back in Ferrara, asks her “beautiful stranger”to tear the page off and burn it, which points towards Deborah being the first reader, the first one to find the secret message.

Deborah is obviously destroyed by this touching testimony. She cries for her distant friend, and for herself. This knowledge makes her change strategies. She will interrupt her siege. She will pretend to be “submissive, good and kind and honorable.” She considers herself lucky to be in hands of the king who surely cannot be as perverse as Villepastour (we should not forget how both Patrick and Deborah's first instinct is to assume the royals to be reasonable and honorable people)

this is the madwoman passage I had in mind before before:

“(...)she came to her knees and thanked God for having not abandoned her in her affliction, for having made her aware of the traps set beneath her feet, and begged him to bless the crazy Maria-degli-Angeli, the generous instrument of his will.”

(tr. saintverge)

I find it ambiguous if this “crazy” is part of Deborah's inner monologue or if it's an adition by Borel's ever elusive narrator. "Instrument of his will" definitely seems to be hers so it's an interesting irruption by the narrator because of how un highlighted it is. If Deborah thought her crazy, why would she think herself relatively lucky and blessed after discovering her master is the king himself? As we will see, she will entreat the king and ask him not to force her, to set her free without sexually enslaving her....if she were lucid enough to find Maria crazy, would she have changed her strategy? The siege couldn't last forever anyways. And even without her tendency to idealize monarchs, the posibility that a man who kidnaps women for kicks to be a man open to being reasonable and honorable and letting her go is extremely thin but not impossible.... ... .........

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

James Dean: Tribute to a Rebel 1991 Rock & Roll / Pop-Rock / Hot Rod / Instrumental Rock / Teen Tragedies

Well, this album definitely felt a bit weird and ham-fisted. Normally, tribute albums are made in order to celebrate and honor the legacy of a certain artist or band, but in this case, Capitol-EMI sublabel CEMA Special Markets thought it a good idea to celebrate and honor the legacy of someone who *was not* a musician: the posterchild for mid-50s male youth rebellion himself, James Dean.

But only a few of the songs on this album actually seem to make any reference to the guy at all: the opening classic bit of minimalist 1974 brilliance, David Essex's "Rock On," mentions Dean's name directly; the closing somber a cappella done by The Beach Boys, "A Young Man Is Gone," is a lyrically revised version of The Four Freshmen's rendition of a song called "Their Hearts Were Full of Spring," and is a clear ode to Dean himself; and an obscure, sweltering, mid-60s hot rod instrumental in the middle that feels like it was made for the open road, by Davie Allan & The Arrows, shares the same name as the film that Dean was most famous for starring in: "The Rebel (Without a Cause)."

And before that Arrows one made its way onto this comp, the only other place you could've found it was on an Arrows LP called Apache '65, which was released in, you guessed it, 1965. It wasn't a hit, wasn't released as a single, and it wasn't on any other V/A comp either, so props to whoever was ultimately responsible for compiling this thing for including it, because although it shares the same name as Dean's most famous film, it's also probably the most obscure song on this album. Go figure!

But the rest of these songs don't really seem to have anything to do with James Dean, besides carrying the same themes that wound up defining his persona and story: cars, racing those cars, ungrounded rebelliousness, and tragic motor accidents.

And there are a whole lot of songs out there that are about all of those subjects, so I guess I really just find it kinda odd and crass to try to cash in on this dude's legacy by retrofitting a bunch of songs onto a compilation and then claiming that they somehow specifically represent his very own essence. Can't say that I'm particularly a huge fan of this strange angle.

But still, every song on here, on its own, is nothing short of great. Had CEMA tried to market this collection as something more vague, with a title that's more clever, but basically means the same thing as Songs for and About Cool Dudes😎, this album definitely wouldn't have left as sour of a taste in my mouth as it did.

Great collection of pop and rock oldies that span the 50s through 70s, but an awkward theme to unite them all under, I think. There’s gotta be a classier and more authentic way of celebrating and honoring James Dean than this.

Highlights:

David Essex - "Rock On" Duane Eddy - "Rebel Rouser" The Shangri-Las - "Leader of the Pack" Eddie Cochran - "My Way" Chuck Berry - "No Particular Place to Go" Dion - "The Wanderer" The Arrows - "The Rebel (Without a Cause)" The Allman Brothers Band - "Ramblin' Man" The Beach Boys - "Shut Down" Link Wray - "Rumble" The Rip Chords - "Hey Little Cobra" Gene Vincent - "Race With the Devil" Jan & Dean - "Dead Man's Curve" The Beach Boys - "A Young Man Is Gone"

[magnoliamyrrh]

im actually not kidding when i say, instate the matriarchy. i dont want equality between the sexes, i want equity - which i believe leads to matriarchy.

the female is not like the male. this is actually a point of conflict ive seen before between some islamic feminists and some branches of western second wave/radical feminism and even marxist feminism and even liberal feminists; tho its not like theres a super distinct line between the first 3, the women of colour of the second wave had a particular influence on some of the most prominent islamic feminists, and ive seen plenty of marxist influence, open international discourse and all. this is also a point of conflict between some branches of radical feminism and separatist and/or pro-matriarchy branches

some branches of western radical feminism hold that the male and the female are equal. the biological difference does not mean that one sex is either above or below the other, it does not mean women should be treated different than men and vice versa. children should be rised ideally in a world which has abolished gender, in which their biological sex will not mean they get socialized one way or another. no "you wear this you wear that, you play with this you play with that, youre allowed x and youre not allowed y". the goal is equality between the sexes, the abolition of gender stereotypes, the abolition of the importance of sex differences in how we treat each other. the liberation of women from patriarchy and all its many facets etc etc. okay, good goal, very high goal as it is with all radical movements, generally im on board with this

but, to say what many have said before - the female is not like the male, and this must be taken into account. different =/= inferior. the female will always be unique in her ability to reproduce, which is the root cause of most of our opression anyway, she will always continue to be uniquely vulnerable and require certain things because of this difference....despite islam functioning in most cases as a patriarchal system (the worlds largest matriarchy is the Minangkabau, an indonesia people. the islamic system exists at the same time as the indigenous matrinilial system. v cool), this i suppose would be the idea you Hear but not See often, that women get special benefits and privileges in islam and have more rights then men in some regards, that a woman ought to be treated like a queen. well, its like that, except Actually putting it into practice, and not in a patriarchal system. i do not believe equality gives woman her deserved role and protection

speaking in theoretics of where to aim - society would need to accomondate for the differences between male and female. we may try our best to abolish gender stereotypes, but sex differences are a material reality which we will always have to negotiate with - and were going to have to keep society from sliding back into a patriarchy and males Once Again taking advantage of our reproduce labour. so, how do we do this? well, some things:

the female, due to her reproductive capabilities, is unique in that she can be raped with the purpose not only of rape itself, but the purpose of producing children - in a patrilinial system, these children being to the benefit of the male and his wealth and influence (they take his name, they are under his control to marry off to increse social standing&wealth etc girls get married off for wealth and connections boys do too but differently. children also can provide household and farm labour, also to the males benefit as he owns land and family wealth)

this is an obvious bastardazation however, of the role of woman as life giver, as mother, as the one who sacrifices to create and birth a child. all the male does is shoot sperm, the sperm actually not being half of the genetic material even. the female egg holds most of it, and the female body and psyche and soul is the one which actually does all of the work to create, sustain, and give birth to a child. unfortunately, we are not seahorses. it is her body alone who can make new bone, new flesh, her body which can grow another heart and conciousness. probably one of the most batshit and awe-striking things in existence. the male does barely a single damn thing to this - and then the male creates male gods in his image and dares say that male gods created humankind! hah! and he dares to say the female - which he owes his very existence to, is inferior and unholy! he has no right claiming the child with his name, for his line of the family and benefit. he has no right to claim the role of life giver, and he has no right to subjugate the female and thus his mother to whom he owes his entire life, and to whom we owe the existence of human civilization.

she is also the primary caregiver of the child, naturally. as i said in that other post, this is because shes the one who carries the baby, and the one who breastfeeds for months-years. it is on her that the child is primarily dependent on and cannot survive without. the existence of baby formula and such is a very new invention, an expensive one, and, also, studies have shown that it is lacking in comparison by a whole bunch of things (a big one being the transfer of antibodies hormones etc etc which increse immunity and chances of survival). part of the reason why children were nursed for longer is that while in times of food scarcity it may be very hard to feed a toddler, the female body still produces milk under extreme circumstances of malnournishment; up to a point. so, point being, she's the primary caregiver and have been through history

it is her line, then, which the child should pass through - the matrilinial line. it is her who is responsible for giving life and sustaining life, her labour and effort, her sacrifice and potential death, her which is before anyone else responsable for shaping the life of a human. i also hold that, yes, the female and the mother Should be given spiritual and communal respect and power specifically because of this - though not in such a way which diminishes the importance of women who cannot give birth or do not wish to give birth.

Anthropological/arch research etc discovers all the time, the woman is the cradel of civilization, not the male. Most cave paintings are made by women. As it is often said, as has been said by many, woman in actuality invented culture and society- and without her there would be nothing. Also why some of the earliest human societies were matriarchal. Nope they werent perfect as some radfem theory says but uhh, better. We owe everything to the women who were our first ancestors in Africa. Everything - as we owe everything to nature. It was the male who forgot this, whose ego takes over, who dared to proclaim that he is both above woman and above nature at once, so that he may subjugate us both to his benefit.

Apart from this - that i think some kinds of feminism do not give the woman and mother the proper respect for being the creator of life - society needs to accommodate this. It needs to be one which allows for the female sex a period long enough of stability, rest, saftey, and free time not only to carry a pregnancy but to raise a child. If society wishes to do more than just Pretend to care for the mother and pregnant women and babies - as the conservatives do - then society needs to create systems of communal support. We must also take into account that in the vast majority of cases, it is the woman who ends up a single mother and takes on this role, not the male. This is already in a regard a privilege over males, or rather an unavoidable difference in rights which arises. I would also include here that as the female menstruates monthly, and this is known to often be a painful, exhausting, and even disabilitating thing, society ought to accommodate for this too. yes. every month. males have been shoving women in menstrual huts or banishing them from villages globally - nepal parts of africa some pre-colonial american indigenous tribes, just a few off of the top of my head. no. how about we do the exact damn opposite and respect the female body, reproductive system, and person/human which is the whole reason any of us exist, and accomodate women and girls instead. how about maybe instead of considering it a dirty or unholy thing, we do the opposite.

One of the highest causes of death of pregnant women is being killed by their male partners. If not the highest cause of death. This is also something we need to protect women from, and why i think partial segregation of the sexes must exist. Full segregation of the female sex, as in societies with no men, has been achieved at smaller levels (the umoja village in Kenya and the several matriarchal all-female villages that followed), but at a larger scale this is,, i dont place my bets on this. Partial segregation however i think can be done. Taking example from the matriarchal Mosuo people of china perhaps, in which the matrilinial female line all lives together and some village women live together separate from men - men may only visit for relations. This protects not only pregnant women, but infact girls and boys from being molested (not that females dont rape, just at incredibly lower statistic rates), it also protects women and their children from domestic abuse and being murdered. Living alone with a male can be very dangerous - so. how abt we do less of that. It also happens so often that the woman just ends up doing so much work for the man and being exploited - how about we do less of that. This also means that boys grow up with several female role models and, like, seeing women as human beings

Next, apart from the reproductive thing. Females tend to be smaller and less strong. Yea this isnt always the case. This also has something to do with the effects of patriarchy being around for so long, and also with women and girls often not being encouraged to work out and develop as much as men, and being fed less. Still, generally speaking, in many cases, mannnyy cases males are the stronger sex, physically. which is why in many societies across the globe sex roles are divided with them doing harder manual labour. they tend to be bigger and develop muscle mass different than us....,, humans out of the ape families dont have drastic sexual dymorphism (more visible in gorillas per example) but we still have it. issue here being. it is actually very easy for most males to kill a female. theres case upon case of /teenage/ boys raping and killing grown adult women. case after case. most men do indeed have the strength to trap or strangle or kill a female, very quickly.

so. this is another reason why women need special protection in society. laws which acknowledge this (which we dont have, because of the difference when women get physically attacked they will use objects to defend themselves, but the courts will not admit this and punish them). protection not only to flee to a place of saftey in domestic abuse cases, but protection in general. this is why women living with women is a ,,, much safter idea. ill choose to have a go at it with a random woman any day than even a teenage boy.

There's other ones for sure but the general idea is there; equality wouldnt take this into consideration. The female is not like the male. For there to be equity, the difference needs to be acknowledged and balanced.

Must also say, i have never seen a matriarchy do what patriarchy had done. never. not once. The patriarchy subjugates and opresses, it rapes, it enslaves, it tortures, it exploits, it kills. It in one way or another declares the Woman as less than male and claims merit for her labour.Almost every single damn time..... Matriarchies do not do this. They do not subjugate males, they do not torture them, rape them, enslave them, kill them. When men are in power it is a nightmare. When women are in power, it is not, and not only is the male treated as human, but finally the Female as well - and she gets to know what it is to live a life free of fear and psychological subjugation.

[bam-monsterhospital]

the "dork"ening

whenever i remember isobel is a companion you can cart around with you in elder scrolls online, i'm always reminded of the huge deal they made about her when high isle was being advertised. she's voiced by laura bailey, who not only is a prolific voice actor but also voiced the fandom-favourite follower, serana, in elder scrolls v skyrim.

before coming out, zos and any advertising surrounding isobel would always describe her as a "dork". it felt a little weird, hearing the specific use of the word "dork" again and again without further elaboration. Isobel is a "dorky" companion. What does this mean? Is she socially awkward? Is she overly obsessive with becoming a knight? Does she know niche factoids about select special interests?

No. none of those things are the case.

Oh, okay, so what does it mean then? What's isobel's deal, what's she about, what's her personality?

Nothing!

So why the continuous description of "dork"?

WELL. Seems like "dorky" is the new "quirky" shorthand for not actually writing a character.

Which is so weird because isobel has TONS to work with! Her introduction/recruitment quest shows character, shows all sorts of things:

She's a jock. She doesn't like the idea of spending time in a library looking through books. She doesn't seem to particularly like books BUT she does like stories. She has a childhood friend who she would do anything for who totally isn't her girlfriend you guys omggggggggg, winkwink nudgenudge. And my favourite part, she hems and haws and frets over having to come up with a poem all throughout the recruitment quest, but at the end she's like 'no shaddup, i came up with one don't you DARE LAUGH aaaaaaaaa', and then reads the monstrosity like ---ohhhh wait for it --- an actual dORK? WHAT? It's awkward and horrible and she KNOWS, she knows aaaaaa she's so awful at poetry and hates it but wow she still did it and you didn't even have to help her and she puts up with the embarrassment and just boulders on through it and you kinda feel proud of her for doing that when she was dreading it so much, and WHAT IS THIS, CHARACTER?!? IN A ZOS GAME? IN MY ELDERSCROLLS?

But then when you bring her around exploring with you, all adventurer-like (because the game only sees your character as some nebulous 'adventurer'), all that potential is washed away in favour of worshiping the ground you walk on, and we get the absolute. worst. lines. of nothingness.

like this! :

"I can't wait to explore this place! I know, I know. I'm strange."

This single line will not leave my head. It rots me. It rots me to my very core.

In a game centered on exploring where the writing deliberately refuses to see you as anything other than an adventurer who explores, with a function like the companion system where the entire premise (even IN THE WRITING) is you are joined by an npc to explore and the npc knowssss exploration is what they signed up for and is always the exact reason they join you at all...

the writers decided isobel should make this quip about being quirky because she likes exploring.

In a vacuum, the sentence is fine. Hell, it even has the whisperings of potential characterization like "Oh, why do you think that's strange?" and "you're so quick to dismiss it like people have told you you're a weirdo for voicing it before". But we don't get that here. This sentence by itself does. not. work. here. It does not work for the game, for the mechanics of companions, or even the individual "reason" (it's always the same reason) this particular character is exploring with us. That's literally what we're doing right now in this screenshot, we're exploring! This does not work!

Instead this line reads as self-congratulatory and out-of-touch with reality (on both isobel and the writers' parts)... which could be an interesting path to explore, but that's not what the writers intended with this. They intended this line to set isobel apart and above the crowd as an explorer... in a game about exploring.

Honestly it reminds me of the serana line that drops a lampshade on her backstory, making the character come off as "i'm not like other girls" and written by an idiot. That's what this line feels like. It feels like a window into the writers' brains when making this character: like they feel they're breaking new ground and making this character oh so special, when instead they're just playing with cardboard.

I haven't adventured long enough with isobel to unlock her friendship quests (but i have an idea of what circular path they'll go), and there's just so much more about her writing that turns me right the fuck away. It's honestly so disappointing (especially after all the hype-mongering) when we get tidbits of an interesting character who just loves the thrill of adventure and has a big major crush on tolwife lyris. It's a huge letdown.

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Battle Tower (Alt) Leon

I hate that it’s alt, but I guess “Battle Tower Leon” is a lot more to write out, so they went with Alt Leon.  Sure.  Thankfully, he got the cool outfit, and the cool Ghost Pokemon, so he’s-Dragon type?  Really?  Come on.

General Overview Leon is a Dragon Tech, who really should’ve been a Striker.  Leon’s main selling point is Dragon Darts, an effectively 200BP move.  This is excellent, and is actually stronger than SS Serena’s Core Enforcer.  With just this and a trainer move that performs the standard +4/+3 self buff, and an excellent speed tier of over 500 with +1 speed on TM, Leon really didn’t need for much more.  But he got it, in Piercing Blows.  Not only is his damage excellent, his gauge control is strong, and his damage cannot be stopped.  Adding a Max Move for burst damage makes this even more threatening.  Impervious, while generally inconsequential, does permit Leon some tools that will likely do well in Gauntlet.

So why do I not feel as impressed with him?  I think it comes down to expectation vs reality.  Leon’s a Tech, and his conditions are...painful.  Burn requirement but no Go Viral until 4/5, and needing as many debuffs as possible but only getting maybe 4 at a time is incredibly damning.  His opening sync is very slow acting and kind of a pain, and legitimately I think it’s less worth it to run his Buddy move if he’s the star of the show.  Just throw out Dragon Darts, it’ll do more.  His sync damage is around the standard for Tech, which means a bit better than Lucas and Drasna but not as good as Anni Raihan or C!Iris.

Leon is still really good.  I love debuffs, so I’m kinda partial to the kit, but he’s also really...odd.  He reminds me a bit of SS Cyrus, in the sense of “pick one thing and only do that.”  If he’s supporting another striker, just spam Buddy move.  If he’s dealing damage, just spam Dragon Darts.  There’s basically no reason to ever burn someone yourself.

EX and Move Level? Because he’s a Tech, EX is generally recommended.  That said, I do stand by the belief that his strength is DPS and having a Max Move.  1/5 is likely serviceable.  His sync multipliers are a rough time anyway, and he’s not getting great boosts to DPS since it’s only Burn Synergy 3, which is hard to set up.  I don’t agree with it.  But, there is a strong case to be made for 4/5, sadly.  Go Viral is legitimately fantastic when you’re running Burn multipliers and...*sigh*...Breaking Swipe: Hit Burned Opp Stat Down 9.  Guys, I know these skills are meant to be descriptive so people know what they do, but can be please just go back to using keywords?  You sound ridiculous.

Team 1: Alt Leon, H!Caitlin, Lucas Did someone say caps crit but needs a bit of attack?!  Hello naughty children, it’s Caitlin time!  Truth be told, she’s likely overkill, you can use something lower tier than that, but favoritism.  Lucas is chosen for the Zone, but admittedly, this is an issue with Leon.  He’s physical, and the Dragon Zone is special.  CS demands reallocation of points as a result.  Which isn’t great, but it’s manageable if desired.

Team 2: Alt Leon, V!Agatha/Bugscyther, H!Morty/V!Kiawe If only Bugscyther were real.  Anyway, the focus of this is on Leon’s sync.  H!Morty is a decent partner here, thanks to Spread Burn.  V!Kiawe can at least set up Power Play, and with Defense Crush lucky skill, actually contributes meaningfully to anything.  Bugscyther tops off attack and gets Leer debuffs, but in absence of him, any defense debuffing support like V!Agatha can work out.

Team 3: Alt Leon, Skyla One of the nice things about Leon is that he has Piercing Blows, and the ability to debuff, making him a pretty solid Gauntlet Duo choice.  Skyla in particular is great.  Defense buffs complement his attack debuffs, and the speed keeps gauge rolling.  Potion for survival, and you’re set to go.

Team 4: Alt Leon, C!Iris, Sonia Alt Leon’s debuffs are basically a buffed Leer that deals respectable damage in addition.  It’s a worthwhile consideration!  It’s especially worthwhile when you’re dealing with a partner who can hit for roughly eleventy billion damage on a single target, provided some debuffs are present.  C!Iris is a great partner to Leon.  Leon’s DPS is super strong, but C!Iris is the sync nuking monster that capitalizes on it all.  I actually ran this exact team this morning, with Leon 1/5, and we actually cleared before Iris could sync.  Leon’s spread damage is very respectable, and Iris’ Dragon Rush is more than enough to kill on-type.

Final Thoughts Here’s a question for you.  It’s the month before anniversary.  All of this is bait, and you might be looking at your gem stash, cautiously considering whether it’s really worth it to get any of these new pairs.  What does Leon offer you that doesn’t already exist?  That you don’t already have?  AoE Atk/Def/Spd debuffing?  SC Steven does that while pumping your damage up to infinity.  Burn?  Not until 4/5 he doesn’t, and SS Lysandre is far more significant for off-type clears given the absurdity of his damage and Buddy move.  Dragon damage?  It’s top of the chart, but I don’t think it’s necessary to pick up.

I think Leon is good; very good, even.  If you’re a paying player looking to pick something up this month, he’s not a bad choice.  But if you’re not?  If you’re saving for anniversary?  Why break for him?  What’s he offering that doesn’t exist elsewhere?  Is this necessary?  And if it is...do you need anything beyond 1/5?