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#//I do that a lot with angst lmao
twinuchiha · 1 year
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@cinisemperium continued from here 
Kyosuke was quiet. He didn’t face his twin, not wanting to feel guilt for the hurt expression he wore on his face. It was something he had expected for a long time, but that didn’t make it any less painful to hear. The longer hair Uchiha released a soft sigh.
“...I hated you for a long time.” The raven admitted, and he felt ashamed for the utter weight that those words lifted off of his shoulders. He lightly licked at his lips, thinking carefully about what he should say next. Though, they should be at a place where they could openly talk about what happened now, right? “You abandoned me, Sasuke. You left. No goodbye, no letter, nothing. For a man who killed someone who made sure we had a goddamn roof over our heads.” A shaky breath escaped him, Kyosuke swallowing hard as he continued.  “I thought it was my fault, for not being good enough. For not being Uchiha enough for you, for anyone. Our comrades, your friends, they were there for me when you weren’t. Naruto, Sakura... they were there to help me with my nightmares, my sleep paralysis. They made sure I was alive. Not you.” Old anger flared up in his chest, and his knuckles nearly turned white as he grasped at the sleeves of his shirt. He took a deep breath. “They weren’t to blame for the sins of the Leaf. They didn’t know. They weren’t the ones who... who...” There was a strangled noise. “They didn’t kill Itachi... they weren’t the ones who had our clan slaughtered.” He remembered the day he found out... the day that he found out Itachi was really gone. How he fell to his knees and screamed himself hoarse. The pain, the sadness... the anger. “...I remember when I said it to your face... that Itachi was dead because of... because of...” Because of Sasuke.  Not Naruto, not Sakura. Not because of his team, his sister, the companies he had made, not even the Leaf village, to so extent. It was because of Sasuke. “I remember how your face contorted... how afraid I was when you came at me...” Tears and pain. He didn’t like to think about that day... he still had some nightmares about it. But Sasuke didn’t need to know that. “I was scared to admit that I resented you, for everything you had done. To the villages, to our friends... to me.” He felt his eyes start to water and he held back any urge to cry with all the strength he had. “I was scared that I would succumb to hatred, like so many others had... I was terrified because I saw what it had done to people.” Kyosuke had viewed himself as a threat to everyone around him at that time. He felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to deactivate at any moment. In that time, he resented being an Uchiha. Another deep breath. “But... I realized that I shouldn’t be afraid to feel normal human emotions. That it was my choice of what I did with it.” Warily, he meet Sasuke’s eyes, his own glistening with unshed tears.  “I love you so much, Sasuke... I was just so angry at that time...”
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seagull-scribbles · 1 year
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acekindaneat · 2 years
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reunited again with no traces of fear, only forgiveness
week 1 for wawa month - family
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tobisiksi · 6 months
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tw: suicide mention-emotional maipulation
I refuse to believe that kusuo never tried to lose on purpose in one of kusukes games
a lot of people say that he probably was too egocentric to lose but man, ku gives up on things without thinking twice just for the sake of the others
just like when he gave up on satou when he and hii got together (the only example I can come with rn but there is a lot more)
and don't get me wrong, kusuo IS egocentric, but he knows where to trace a line he has a moral code and the principal rule is "don't be an inconvenience to the others"
so there is no way he didn't tried before
kusuke saw through his facade?
kusuke is insane and a masoquist and he has some suicidal behaviour aaand
I can see him telling kusuo to never try to fake a lost again or else he will off himself
idk he just yk, he's emotionally abusive and he's too obsessed with the idea of kusuo and him playing deathly games
TOO obsessed
he even took himself as hostage and he also kidnapped and brainwashed one of his brothers friends
he would say something like that
but I also believe that he wasn't aware of the heigh of those words
(I believe that he isn't aware of the heigh of all his actions, he just have a really twisted view of what is wrong and right)
I see this kind of scenario happening when they were young, when kusuo stopped copying his older brother (the motorcycle, the little cardboard robot, rock papper scissors, guys he was copying his older brother cuz he thought he was cool) and started to feel some resentment or even pity towards him
kusuke wouldn't take pityness very well, resentment? dont care, being hated? kay whatever but feeling any form of empathy or pity?????
it makes him sick
so he would say something like that but the thing is that he sees his brother as a God who is superior to every other living being
so he thinks that it isn't a big deal because his God had more important things to take care of
wrooooong, your God it's your baby bro who is just a child who used to admire you a lot before you started to get more and more insane progressively and the thing you just said it's fucking up his head because the love and hate he has for you were the strongest feelings his baby brain could feel and now he cannot come up with a way to make you stop envying or feeling resentful cuz of his powers (that he did not choose to born with in the first place) without making you have a meltdown that will end up with you killing yourself
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piko-power · 1 month
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
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When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
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You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
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During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
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But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
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Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
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Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
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-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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riacte · 10 months
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People on MCC Reddit talking about the future of MCC and mentioning a decline in interest of MC content while I know at least QSMP / HC / Life series did well on Tumblr wrapped… I think I know what can help MCC. Fanfictionable content 😏👍 /JOKE /hell
By that I mean angst. Vaguely homoromantic content. The fun skins that we already have. The cute lobby Christmas gift giving. Teams having the option to craft and fly their banners in SkB like some sort of Royalty AU. SoT lackey in which it’s the job of one player to guard a player and sacrifice their life if needed. Teams having to guard their egg baby in Survival Games. Someone should get married on the Winner’s Podium for funnies. What if we were trapped in the SoT cage 😳 and got set on fire 😳 and summoned a fire demon 😳. TGTTOS but you can drag someone up dramatically and they land in your arms perfectly. Sports anime arc in which two underdogs team with two mentors and they win with the power of friendship, like this kind of storyline can and will fuel people for three years. Ren and Martyn role playing with each other in horrible voices for three hours. People from different teams making out in the Battle Box wool mid. Fuckass Double Life scenario in which the entire team shares the same 80 hearts and they’re all intensely worried for each other. There’s a party with flashing lights with Hermitgang plays for some reason. Impulse raps to the second hand embarrassment of many. False and Ren return to stand next to each other for thirty minutes in the lobby
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blushblushbear · 2 months
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Fck it- let’s get some ANGST rolling
All the boys reacting to their S/O dying right in front of them, and they are partially responsible for it.
Doesn’t matter how; freak accident, prank/date gone wrong, ppl who have a personal vendetta against them and want revenge- I want to know how they react and how they move on from that moment onwards (if they do at all)
DO.YOUR.WORST!!!
(I’m new to this fandom btw. Hi!! 👋🏼 I rly like your writing :)
AHHHH THANK YOU! I try weirdly hard to do a decent job
but yeah okay *cracks knuckles* let's get into it B)
SHIT'S UNDER THE CUT CAUSE IT'S A LOT AND IT'S DEPRESSING
tw: character death, death in general, violence, gun violence, depression, grief, guilt, heartbreak
Nimh
So I think Nimh's is a freak accident
I think you two are just walking along the side walk together and it's nice and normal and peaceful
and then a car swerves off the road and right towards you two
let's sad for added against you pushed him out of the way on instinct
I think his vision is actually blurred at first when he looks up from his spot in a bush
he does have a heart condition so that amount of shock is gonna make him legitimately dizzy
he almost dies right there when he looks over and sees you unconscious on the ground surrounded by blood
he is full on having a panic attack and can't breath and honestly everything is a dizzy blur for the next few hours
he falls over again just running over to you and is lost to the world as the rest of the scene unfolds around him
he's full on not seeing or hearing anything as he holds you bleeding in his arms
he doesn't even notice how badly he's hyperventilating
you actually don't die right there on the spot
you're put in an ambulance and rushed to the er and then to the icu and Nimh is in the hospital with you
They're also taking care of him as well since he is actually pretty banged up and is clearly having a serve panic attack and might legit pass out if not tended to
when you finally get to the hospital and start to wheel you away to the icu as other er staff are looking over him as a patient he pretty much starts loosing his shit
he wants to go with you but they need to make sure he's okay too
he's sobbing as they take his vitals
you last a few days and he never leaves your side
his parents come by to bring him food and clean clothes and a blanket but he's not leaving you once he's found you again in the icu
it's terrifying to him how still and hurt you look
he talks to you while you're out
honestly for all 3 of those days, he still had hope
no matter what the doctors said
but when he woke up on the morning of the 4th day to the sound of your flat line he watched all his hopes and dreams crumble in front of him
his happy future he saw for himself died with you
he's honestly a depressive mess and his body has not taken to the stress well at all (heart condition and panic attacks)
it's made even worse by the fact that he keeps having dreams about you
that always turn into nightmares where he relives holding you lifeless and bleeding in his arms
I'm going to be honest
I think due to the mix of the stress this puts on his already frail body
and the fact that he's sort of lost his will to live
he actually only lasts a few months after the accident
he was already lucky enough to make it this fair into his life, lucky enough to find the strength to always keep trying and make his body better, lucky enough to find you
but I guess his luck ran out
for what it's worth, I do think he goes peacefully in his sleep
dreaming about you
but a good dream this time
it's just tragic all around
poor Nimh
Volks
Volks' is another nice day turned tragic
You guys had gone out hiking, and he had helped you climb a tree because he really wanted to show you the view
it was taller than you had ever climbed but he promised that he wouldn't let anything happen to you
and as you too are looking at the view--- well, YOU are looking at the view, Volks is looking at you pretty much the whole time (like he always does)
but for a brief moment he took his eyes off you to also look at the view with you
and in that moment a strong wind shook the branch and made you loose your balance
your security tie failed and you went tumbling
that split second moment went by like an hour to Volks
the sudden realization that you weren't there
then looking down and seeing you falling
it took all of his will power to not instinctively jump after you
but when he saw you hit the ground he never scrambled down a tree so quickly
every part of him was shaking and his heart was pounding in his ears
he came up to you and you were still alive, but badly hurt
he gently cradled you in his arms and noticed you had blood coming out of your head
he pulled you onto his back panicking
calling 911 with his shaking hand
he met them on the side of the road and rode with you in the back of the ambulance
the whole time he was just staring wide eyed and pale at you
you were alive and moving but you were so out of it
the ems said you had definitely hit your head on something on the fall (probably a rock) and that you had several broken bones
you got none of that
Volks heard every word of it loud and clear like the worst was being confirmed for him
and he was responding to none of it
just staring at you
when you got to the hospital, his mom was already rushing out to meet the paramedics
you had met her a few times, she really liked you a lot, and especially liked how happy you made her son
she was taking charge since you were already like family to her
when they wheeled you back she told Volks to follow
your vitals were starting to tank and you've lost too much blood
the er room was a panicked frenzy that you were too out of it to comprehend
and the whole time Volks just kept staring at you
in your state, you were trying to make anything out
then you looked over at Volks
and when you looked at him there was this look of recognition and almost like relief
he stared back at your eyes, dull and distant but fully seeing him, the blood running down your forehead ruining the tenderness this look would've otherwise brought him
he didn't realize it yet, but he was tearing up
you reached out your hand to him weakly
he practically jumped forward, walking to you and taking your hand
your grip was weak and there was dirt and blood on your palms
you squeezed his hand as best you could manage
and you smiled at him
gazing lovingly into his eyes
and as he gazed back into yours
he watched as your bright eyes went dark
and then unfocused
he heard the single note of you leaving
and felt a panic he'd never known before as your hand slipped from his
his vision blurred as he just stood there shaking in disbelief
he couldn't find any words or form any thoughts as tears streamed down his cheeks
in a distance he heard his mom's voice
he heard his name
she was saying something
she felt her hand numb on his back
but he couldn't take any of it in
he just stared at you
for maybe the last time
you were just here and now you were gone
he
his contact finally broke when his mom pulled him away into a hug
she was crying on his shoulder, and holding her baby boy so tight
Volks blinked and it all hit him at once
and he broke down in his mothers arms as they crumpled to the floor together and sobbed
months went by
and he barely left the house
he went back and forth between staring at the wall and looking back over pictures you took together and texts you had sent
then crying
then back to the wall
his mom checked in on him a lot
but he's barely there anymore
on one visit she brings him food and notices a rose in a vase with fresh water
it's one he brought home from your funeral
it's long dead but he keeps watering it
for the millionth time Volks' mom preaches the helpfulness of grief counseling and invites him to join her this week at the group meeting
he refuses and she goes back to unloading the food she brought him into his fridge
he's not eating much though
on her way out she kisses his forehead and tells him she loves him
she stops at the door
and looks back at the rose
then her son
'you know.... they would've wanted you to be happy... that's all they ever wanted...'
Volks is silent for a while
his mom sighs and gets ready to leave again
'hey mom....'
she turns
'...what time is the therapy group?'
Kelby
Ya know, weirdly enough, I think Kelby actually handles all this the healthiest of all the boys??
also before I give an actual death lemme just say it's really hard for me to think of something for Kelby that's not Final Destination levels of insane lol
but no, okay okay
ahem
I think with Kelby it's just a regular ol' run of the mill daily tragedy
You're driving together, he's at the wheel, you guys are probably headed to a nice day at the beach
or back from a nice day at the beach
it's late but he's careful
but the sad truth is careful doesn't matter when other people drink and drive
your car is hit head on by someone going twice the speed limit, and your side of the car takes the main impact
I think unlike the previous two guys, you don't get a hospital goodbye
you are most likely dead on impact
and Kelby's not looking too hot either
I think he passes out in an ambulance and wakes up a few hours later to a few new injuries and the shocking news that you didn't make it
pretty sure everyone can hear his wails from down the hall
He's actually basically crying off an on for the next few years
he spends time with family
time with friends
looks at pictures
reads old texts
cries and cries and cries
he goes to therapy and goes through the moitons
but no matter what he can't fight this new hole he feels
the one where all his love for you went
I think he actually becomes an advocate for safe driving
and joins a lot of support groups
He actually helps a lot of people work through their pain
and that helps him work through his
the sad truth about this kind of thing is that it really is a mundane tragedy
that feels like an oxymoron but this sudden heartbreak happens everyday
but through the proper channels, Kelby has found ways to cope
though every now and then the loneliness does get him
how can it not
but if he can't spend the rest of his life with you
then he'll dedicate the rest of it in your memory
and help others do the same
also he keeps your picture by his bedside and talks to it frequently
telling you good morning and good night and such
He never stops missing you
Eli
I feel like with Eli, it really is something outlandish
Like he convinced you to go romantically dancing in the rain and you got struck by lightening
and to other people he laughs it off
'ain't life a bitch, at least they went out in a blaze of glory, they always were electrifying,' etc etc etc
but the truth of the matter is he's deeply and unbelievably upset about this
at his core, he's inconsolable
and he probably jokes about that too
'haha I'm dead inside actually! :)'
he has started seeing a therapist
he's got a lot to unpack
also I know there's not super explicit alcohol mentions in the game
but we know Eli is a party boy
and he's def developed a drinking problem over this
he doesn't know how to handle his feelings so he stays out all night partying like he would do with you
tearing shit up and drinking his feelings away
all so he can stumble home alone and pass out immediately so he doesn't have to contemplate how utterly empty and pointless his big fancy apartment feels
or how empty and pointless he feels
he's also dabbled in some drugs but he's trying to be real careful about that since he doesn't wanna wake up in an alley way (at least not cause of drugs-- he might a few times over booze though)
I think there was a time Eli had a lot of self hatred growing up followed by full self acceptance and self celebration
but he doesn't feel like celebration himself right now
he's pretty sure you'd be disguised with what he's become in your absence
hence the going to therapy
he hasn't found the right therapist just yet but he's going to keep trying
he liked the good things about himself, he liked the good things about you, and all the good things you saw in him, even the stuff he didn't always see as good himself
he wants to like himself again
the way he did when he had you loving him
he truly felt the happiest with you around
but now
he lives in the club
and drinks till dawn
he wakes up in a haze
feeling sick as shit
slowly gets himself together-ish
and ends up wondering what his life has become without you
has a coffee
and a headache
reads some poetry or listens to a song that reminds him of you
ulgy cries for a bit until his headache is worse
calms down enough to eat (well, less calm and more too burnt out)
rinse, repeat.
He doesn't plan to do this forever
he doesn't want to do this forever
someday he's gonna find a way to be happy again without you
though nothing will ever compare to the great love of his life that surprised him out of nowhere
Anon
okay here me out this might be a little too real BUT
bitch I think he got swatted
he messed around with the wrong dude and he got swatted
it got messy
you were there when it happened
he is pressing SO MANY CHARGES
he is a wreck
there's a movement online to try and help and support him through this trying time but honestly
he sees very little of it
he's sort of logged off for a while
actually a long while
he moved houses cause he was just too scared and traumatized
he couldn't stay in the house he watched you get shot in
he's going to so much therapy but it's not helping much
well, it is actually
just not in ways he's seeing or feeling
normally he'd get his revenge asap but like
that sort of thing is what got him into this mess
he is still taking all the legal action he can though
got the best lawyers on his side
SOMEONE is going to jail hell or high water
but it doesn't help fill the hole
he spends a lot of time lying in silence
or going outside
or staring at a blank screen that isn't turned on
he's actually not sure he'll ever get out of this whole
he looks at his phone from time to time but only to look at pictures of you
it's not connected to the internet or anything
eventually he finally feels up to trying to be online for an afternoon
maybe check his socials a bit and play a game
that's when he finally sees the out pour of condolences people have left for him
it actually makes him feel better
you know that bit in that lil nas song 'strangers make you feel so loved, ya know?'
that's him right now
he will never get over this
not even a little bit
and I think he's done using his powers to fuck around
I think eventually he will get to something resembling his old self but
you're still his desktop background
and he's never not going to feel that void you left
or the crushing guilt that flows
Garret
oh man
what to do with Garret
GEEZ uhhhh
I think with Garret, he just wakes up one morning with you in his arms and you're pale and unmoving
I think for him we're gonna say brain aneurysm
you just had one in your sleep overnight and there was nothing anyone could do
he was a panicking sobbing mess the whole time he waited for emergency services with you in his arms
and he wasn't much better while riding in the ambulance with you (he refused to leave your side)
you were barely breathing the whole ride and stopped breathing before you even made it to the hospital
despite the fact that literally none of this was his fault and absolutely there was nothing anyone could do he still blames himself
you died in his arms
he should've been able to do something
I think after a few years of group therapy he finally manages to get back to something like his old self
but he still breaks down in a sobbing wreck every now and then over this all
and he misses you every day
I think he constantly goes back and forth on whether to get rid of the bed you two shared on the night you died
on the one hand you died in that bed (sort of)
but on the other that's the last place you were together
either way he still hasn't gotten rid of it
and he has a locket with your picture in it that he never takes off
Dmitri
I'm running out of way for you to die guys
I think let's go with you were visiting him at the coffee shop and one of the espresso machines exploded, injuring 3 and killing 1 (that's you) (.....shut up I'm trying)
a coffee bean was launched right into your heart
so tragic
he like all the others go into a depressive state but he does very melo-drama about it
lots of tears and wilted roses and sobbing while draped across a sofa holding a framed photo of you
love poems, robe, tissues, ice cream, empty bottles of wine
his sister comes to visit him every day but it doesn't help
I honestly think he never lets this go
he wears this sorrow on his sleeve like a memorium to you
he vows he will never love again and he keeps it
there's a lot of talking to his main framed picture of you (he has a lot) and telling you about his day or his family or how much he misses you
that last bit usually comes up
he's definitely drinking more wine than before
he's not full Eli binging but he definitely gets it down
If he had a ring he was going to propose with (and he probably did let's be real), he wears it now around his neck
a reminder of the happy ending with you he will never get to see
Ichiban
I think this one actually is a prank gone wrong
or at least a video gone wrong
he actually quits his channel for a while out of guilt
he just can't stand running it
he eventually comes back for the fans but it takes like a full year before they hear from him
he spends a lot of time being depressed in the dark
playing games and sometimes talking to himself like he's talking to you
he has a really great therapist that helps him a lot with the guilt and grief
when he does eventually come back, he has a much greater boundary between his online life and his personal life
he also doesn't do stunts/pranks EVER
he actually only updates here and there cause he's putting his focus into more artist projects
the first one is an exploration of grief and how it can change a person
he's got a lot of guests from all over the internet who are here to share their stories of loss that were going on behind the camera
it's very soul bearing all around and it actually is seen as an over all good
it made a lot of people feel seen and less alone
including him
nothing will ever replace you
but he's using his fame now to let people know they aren't alone, so hopefully that's something
William
I think with William you were at the clinic visiting him and something venomous bit you
most likely a snake
you were rushed to the hospital and given anti-venom, but it was too late, the damage was already done
I think he is actually the most functional of all the dudes after the fact
like he's very much Not Okay, but he's trying his best to get through his day
the moment he gets home though he enters into the most mournful slump
he puts a record on and drinks a glass of wine and stares at your picture and just
mourns
he finds himself missing you throughout his day but the second he gets home it's a little all consuming
he's honestly kind of resigned to spending the rest of his life alone mourning you
maybe in a few years from now, he'll try for love again
but he already knows it's not going to be the same
he's always going to feel the weight of your loss on his heart
Myx
I think with Myx it's probably a very sudden yet terminal diease
he puts everything on pause to be with you for as long as he can
he gets about a few months (it's still not enough)
after another few months away from everything spent mourning he finally returns to the stage
he has basically a whole new albums worth of songs
each one of them was him working through his loss and pain
you know those albums you listen to from an artist, and you're just like 'who hurt you???'
yeah, this one is his
except the answer is life
or more specifically death
the amount of times he cries on stage performing some of these songs is unsurprising
a lot of fans send him letters of encouragement and condolences
and flowers
so many flowers
your funeral was actually a sea of flowers
some from friends and family
some from Myx's fans
but honestly mostly from Myx
his next album isn't quite so consumed with grief but honestly-- the subject always comes back up
there's also a few songs for you in there that are really sweet
it's not all tears and heartache
a few happy memories immortalized in song
though a lot of fans and critics consider the ones he wrote during that first year without you some of his most compelling and heartfelt bits of work
and it only cost him everything...
Stirling
Let us pretend my previous post about the reader gaining immortality does not exist
Stirling loses you to time
like so many things before you
and many things after
your loss stings the most though
he stayed with you until the end of your life
loving you every moment he could find
and even making some himself
but he's learned the hard way that all good things must come to an end
and frankly you were the best thing, so your end left the biggest shadow
he misses you every moment of his eternity
so many paintings and portraits of you throughout your years hang in his walls
but none of them ever did do you justice
he's found ways, like this, to surround himself with some version of your presence
though it never fully chases away the loneliness
he embraces the end gracefully
though every so often, when the night is clear and the stars are bright
he can't help but look into the heavens
think of you
and weep
Scale
Scale lost you to an enemy assassin
He doesn't know if they were going for him and just missed
or if they meant to target you just to get at him
but either way he watched in horror as a dart flew into your neck, and you fell to the ground motionless
He never stops blaming himself
He knew he was no good for you and he stuck around anyways
and look where that got you
he spends months hunting down and killing the assassin that did you in
but even bringing justice to your end doesn't make him feel any better
okay, maybe it helps a little, but it's still not enough
he sort of slinks into solitude for several years following your death
he also takes a vow of silence (for some reason--- he won't say why)
he frequently visits your grave and mourns you
he also reads over your old text convos
and he cries
a lot
he kind of lost his heart on that day
and it's truly doubtful he'll ever get it back
not with you gone
Sven
I think this one is another car
I know it's very sudden at the least
he doesn't really know how to process it at all
he's actually in quite the downward spiral for the next few months
going back and forth between trying to remain positive and being a sobbing wreck
bruh, I think your loss kinda broke him
he's seeing like 3 different therapists
they're helping a little
he still sobs uncontrollably at least once a day
honestly, I don't think he ever truly gets back to his old self
he just can't anymore
Cole
heheheheh *CRACKS KNUCKLES*
He's not sure how it happened
all he knows is that he came to on the floor next to you
He was holding you
and there was a lot of blood
you were already cold, your warmth long gone
and his head was spinning
everything was a fog
what had he...
he remembers feeling jealous
and helpless
and angry
he sort of blacked out in a spiral
there's vague flashes
you pinned behind him as
no.
no no no no no no no.
he couldn't have.
he wouldn't have.
h-he didn't mean to.
you can't be.
he staring down at your still body, limp and lifeless in his arms.
all the pieces are coming back together.
it's all coming back to him.
he let's out a nervous laugh as he shakes you gently and says your name.
It all had to be a bad dream.
That was all a dream.
He could never have...
please wake up...
he's so sorry...
please wake up...
...just be a bad dream...
Poe
I think for Mr. Poet we're gonna have to go Byronic on his ass
that's right, it's Consumption baby! Aka tuberculosis!
basically meaning you get real sick
and he's with you every step of the way
staying by your side as your body gives out
documenting ever turn with a new bit of writing or poem
he's never been so prolific
nor so heartbroken
he doesn't share any of the poems about you
He actually might pull a Dickinson and never share them
only to have them found and published after his death
he doesn't know how many pages he filled sitting by your bed side as you slept
he keeps a book of pressed flowers from throughout your decline
flowers he brought you, or ones given by the hospital or friends, a few flowers from your funeral
He probably spends the rest of his life even more listless than before
definitely more heart broken
he moves on in his writing (at least for the stuff he shares publicly)
but he never moves on in his heart
Cashew
I'm unsure how this one happens, but the follow up is the same
I think after a month or so, he tries to go back to his usual life
tries to get up, go to classes, go about his life
but he can't really care anymore
he's just going through the motions
he reads a lot of books where there's a character death to cope
also a lot of romance
and a lot of crying
he's kind of a shut in off and on for about a year
he slowly but surely bounces back
learns to be happy again
be he always knows he would be happier with you
there's a lot of pictures of you and him still floating around
he likes to try and remember you always
even if it hurts, seeing your face still makes him feel a little better
he's also def a member of the talks to your picture a lot squad
one of your pictures is his good luck charm
he got it laminated and uses it as a book mark so you can still kinda 'read with him'
Seth
OH BOY
he thought he wasn't going to care much since he deals with souls all the time
but he truly forgot what this was and now he's pissed
cocky fucker legit forgot that he lives in hell
and that's not where you end up
he doesn't really mourn like the rest of them cause you're not really gone
but he does still miss you
and is trying to tug at every string he can to try and either get himself up there or you down here
it's his new main goal, but it's gonna be a tough one
he keeps trying to trade your soul for others but the folks upstairs ain't buying it
this honestly feels like more of a set up for a rom com manga than anything else lol what is this even doing here IT'S NOT SAD ENOUGH
Logan
oh okay his can get very sad
I think his is going to be learning the hard way that you can't save everyone
and that no matter how hard to plan for something, things can still go wrong
(maybe he should be spider-man...)
but yeah, he was definitely one of the emergency services that responds to yours
he heard your address and got there so fast
but it wasn't fast enough
this loss legit takes him the majority of his life to get over
he was honestly planning to spend the rest of his life with you and that future went up in smoke
he goes to a lot of therapy, both group and one on one
and it helps
but not by much
he's definitely a different person after this all
a little less cheerful, a lot more serious
and hard to believe it but a little better at his job
he went from eye wide newbie with a hero complex to grizzled vet who knows how bad it can really get
and hey look another member of the pictures of you everywhere and he also talks to them squad
keeps a picture of you in the pocket of his fire jacket, near his chest
I mean, he already did that but now it hits different
also wears the ring he had gotten for you around his neck
(though not while working, fire fighters tend to not wear jewelry on the job cause metal hot)
lots of tears
lots of cuddle puddles with the rescue animals
occasionally names one after you
you were the love of his life
still are
Reece
Reece's is definitely a wacky space adventure gone wrong
he's shaken by the loss of you
I don't know how it happened but I know it was very sudden
spends a while in his ship just staring into the middle distance
he can't believe your gone
he spends a lot of time traveling around licking his wounds
also marshaling his forces to go face down whatever entity took you from this universe
tried to go back and save you but it always ends the same
after his last attempt he actually goes back in time to before you two even met and watches you from a distance
you look so happy, you have no idea what's about to happen to your life
he doesn't regret meeting you but he wonders often if things would've been better for YOU if he hadn't
flies solo for a few centuries
every now and then stops by and visits you in a time where you two still hadn't met
admittedly he's stalking you a bit but just in small bursts
it hurts a lot, but it also makes him feel better
try as he might, there's just some things he can never change
and the closer to home it hits, the more it hurts
Aki
WHOO BOY another immortal/semi-immortal character!
I think for all the fox boys we're going to just have you go of natural causes, no immortality for you
it's both hard for him to be sad about this and equally as impossible to not be devastated
on the one hand, you two had a beautiful life together
and having you in each others lives made them so full
but Aki's learning for the first time that part of being a kistune is seeing all good things end while you have to keep going
honestly I think all Kistune to some degree are like Aki, then Haru, then Fuyu as time goes on
like they all start to some degree young and wild and mischievous, then eventually calm a bit more and chill as they mature, and then being a live for so long matures them to such a level they're almost un-reacting cause they've seen it all
everyone's a little different but it's always roughly the same path
and this is Aki's first
you're Aki's first
his first everything
his first great love
his first great life mate
his first great loss
like all kistune before him, this is an aging mark
he's going to be a different person on the other side of this
he's still going to be Aki, just a different version of Aki
one that knows what it means to hurt on this level
he takes about a century to get over it--- well as over it as he's ever gonna get
he may one day have another mate or take another lover
but it will never be like how it was with you
I'm actually not sure if he ever pairs off with someone else for good (I'm honestly not sure any of them do)
and no matter how much time and experience changes him
or how many years pass
he still thinks back on his time with you often and gets all warm again
Haru
SO!
Natural causes, no immortality for you, you just get old and die
so they way I was talking with Aki and how all kistune probably have a similar life path as they age visa vee experiences and firsts
Haru actually is the way he is cause he was trying to AVOID that at all costs
he ran through life trying his damnest to not let anyone get too close cause he doesn't wanna deal
ESPECIALLY humans
sad, pathetic, emotional, short lived little humans
but then you actually managed to break through
and he kind of like--- got it then
like he gets it now
he understands how a connection can be worth the risk of pain
though I will say he does start the relationship fully in denial about the inevitable
he doesn't want to talk about loss, he doesn't want to think of you dying, he doesn't want to have to figure out what a world without you would be like
I think the biggest slap to the face Haru has ever gotten is when he gave you one of his 'I'm gonna spend the rest of my life pleasing you' and you kinda gently threw out 'well.... the rest of MY life anyway...'
I think hearing it from you made him actually like--- hear it ya know???
he generally doesn't loose his cool much but he def looses it then
or anytime someone brings up that you're mortal
I think all of the kitsune do at some point try and find a way to make you immortal but with Haru it's low key a thing he never gave up on
he's not always actively searching, but he's searching on the down low
weirdly I think the person that helps him cope the most with your death is you
YOU knew what you were getting into
and you're not afraid to talk about it with him
especially cause he has a hard time staying mad at you so you can kinda say whatever
he takes a lot of solace in the fact that he made your life very happy
and he enjoys the fuck out of every moment you two have together
he tries so hard not to dwell on it
but once it actually comes and is in front of him
he has a hard time processing
he's not good at processing big feelings okay
I think he might become a drunk for a while
just a grumpy depressed drunk
he actually goes back and forth between a picture of you being the last thing he wants to see and the only thing he wants to see
he's another person whose going to come out different on the other side of the loss
I think he tried at one point to take another lover but he ended up getting upset, and kicked them out before anything could happen cause he just wanted you
and now he's alone and drunk and crying, look what you've done to him
ngl I think he becomes that like--- emotionally wounded, grizzled, often drunk samurai type (like Yasuo back at the star of his story)
he went from fuck boy to lover boy to grumpy older dude whose a little stand off-ish but honestly he's actually very sweet he just has a lot of pain to work through
also even though your face is sometimes the last thing he wants to see (partly cause he's ashamed at what a wreck he's become without you), he still keeps a picture of you near his heart
Fuyu
I'm so tempted to have your end be violent with Fuyu cause he's mr. war crimes but honestly
I think growing to trust again and learning the lesson that violence was never the answer is not only Fuyu's character arch, but low key all of the kistune boys character archs????
but yeah, so no, despite my temptations
natural causes, old age, no immortality for you
so Fuyu is no stranger to death or loss
and he has seen people he cared about die (fandom headcanons, one of them WAS Natsu and I am behind the idea that he didn't wanna do it)
but you just hit differently
he truly never met anyone like you
nor has he loved anyone as deeply
nor will he again for that matter
he tries his best to mourn your death with grace
but behind closed doors he's a sobbing wreck
I think the full time line of Fuyu at least for the parts that we see him are as follows
Angy, deep down Very Sad and Lonely, Uptight, RAWR -> Learns to chill and love and repent and be more open and is just generally still kinda stuffy and stiff but a lot more warm and happy -> still not the monster he once allowed himself to become, still a bit stuffy but also still chill, very solemn, very sad
so he didn't loose his gentleness that his time with you taught him
but he did get back his sad and lonely
He thinks about you everyday
and talks to your spirit in his moments alone
( not actually your--- you're not a ghost, making that clear--- more your memory)
you honestly made him a much better dude
and your company lead to him being able to open himself to more people
but none of them are you
and they never can be
he still writes you poetry
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zrllosyn-art · 3 months
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An array of Kaiju 8 ocs.... [ft. @izfaish's Yamato and @snailpost's Pati]
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velnari · 1 year
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templars of the white glass
(twitter)
at some point during my gideon re-read last year i became so obssessed w/ the eighth house,,,
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genocat · 5 months
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this one iterator OC i never post because his trauma is too fucking severe for anyone to even be able to comprehend in one sitting
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moonlit-tia · 7 months
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I'm genuinely surprised by how little dawnbreaker content there is
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velvet-games · 18 days
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the latest 666 update has been haunting me all morning lmao
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satoruxx · 23 days
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PLS IT’S A THURSDAY AFTERNOON WHY AM I BEING CALLED OUT LIKE THIS???? @novasatoru
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sweetandglovelyart · 1 month
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You’ve heard of Momranza and Haltmom, now get ready for Dadeleine(s)! Here’s Adeleine with my OCs Tache Doo and Archmage Doo, her fathers. Tache is an artist and Archie is a mage who works for Kracko.
My lore for them and how they ended up raising Adeleine is that Tache and Archie traveled to another planet to study the art and magic there, but during their trip they found a baby Adeleine all alone. They searched around to see if they could find her parents/figure out where she came from, but they soon realized that she was all by herself, so they decided to adopt her and brought her back to Popstar.
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angelpuns · 1 year
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knocks on your door i have a fake fanfic title:
"Big, broken, Red heart"
My immediate thought is Future! Raph comic?? I've only seen like two of those smh HE DESERVES FUTURE FICS TOO!!!!
anyway, maybe F!Raph survives and he gets to go back in time??? Anyway he saves the timeline or whatever but fnds it too painful to stay with his family, as much as he wants to. So it's more about wanting vs not wanting to stay kinda deal?? mannn thining about hwo differently he would handle saving the timeline than F! Leo or any of their other bros might. Like he grabs present Loe and is just like ' I don't blame you for this. We were just kids. I get it now - you're a great leader when you lead the way YOU want to' orrrr smthn lke that? Like F!Raph understands now that Leo wasn't jsut being a brat, he was scared asf and was trying to lead the only way he could think of!! I have many thoughts on their dynamic in the movie okay :)
I'm not v good at writing Raph but I'll give it a go:
Raph's footsteps echoed through the tunnels, far louder than they had in his youth. He wasn't too late. He wasn't too late to fix this!
He bounded into the lair, shouting carrying through the subway tunnels back to him. He remembered this. it was one of those things he'd been thinking about since the kraang had taken over. How he and Leo didn't have to fight like this. Sure, Leo was egging him on, but Raph knew better now. He understood Leo so much more now that his little brother was gone.
Raph stopped at the top of the stairs, breaths coming out ragged and shallow. CJ wasn't here yet. But then again, he probably didn't know how to get to the lair. Raph would have to find him later - he had to do this now. The key - as much as he wanted to go for it on his own - it could wait. It could wait for him.
The shouting stopped at his entrance, his heavy breaths and footsteps giving him away. He'd long lost the sight in his right eye, but he could still see the vague shapes of himself and his brothers. He'd know them anywhere.
They leapt into action immediately, but Raph was faster than he used to be, even if he was getting on in years.
Mikey was fast and unpredictable, whipping his chuks out and immediately going for the capture. Raph knocked them away easy, grabbing the youngest out of the air and tossing him away. He was holding back, just a little. He didn't want to hurt them, after all. Leo was on him immediately, kicking off of his arm, portaling behind him and going for the back shot. Raph heard the static of the portal before it appeared, turning and grabbing Leo's outstretched leg. He flung him away, too, the slider crashing right into..himself. Younger Raph.
Donnie was suddenly in his face, his bo whipping through the air with a sharp sound and landing a blow on Raph's arm. It was sort of like being hit with a cardboard tube - he'd lost feeling in that arm years ago. He grabbed the bo and spun, Donnie backwards several feet and landing easily.
" Who are you!? How'd you find this place?" Donnie snarled, Leo reappearing next to him, " I didn't get any kind of notifications - the security system should have alerted us and lasered you into pieces!"
(mehhh idk what to put here)
Raph sighed deeply, his breath crackling in his chest. He squeezed Leo's shoulders, marveling at how tiny he used to be.
"Leo. Nothing that happens today is your fault. You can't take all the blame when Raph was arguin' back just as hard.." he chuckled, watching Leo's face change as he spoke, " You were just a kid. Hell, we were all just kids thrown into a shitty situation..."
He swallowed thickly, unsure what to say. He'd always been shit at pep talks.
" Look, you got a good head on your shoulders. You lead however ya need to and Raph will back off a little....he's just scared, Lee. And I know you are, too"
Raph pulled him into a tight hug, Leo's arms hesitantly coming up and squeezing him back. Raph turned to his past self. H looked tired. Did Raph himself always look that tired?
He guessed it was the burden of responsibility from a young age, Yeah, that would tire anyone out.
"c'mere, kiddo" Raphael pulled his past self into a hug, the fact that he was so small comapred to Raphael making something fragile in his chest curl up and cry a little. Right, they were all just kids.
" I'm sorry ya had to carry everyone like that...I know how hard it is. Leo's gonna be a fine leader, okay? Just..learn ta talk to him" He murmured, " I know we've never been great at that kinda thing, but he'll get it. I promise he'll get it"
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meimi-haneoka · 6 months
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Cosmos - Akiho/Kaito one-shot
Once upon a time, when chapter 48 had definitively broken the cage to my admiration and support for the YunaAki pairing, I couldn't help but start imagining their future together.
And one of the first headcanons that came up to me was this one. Not in depth like you can see developed here, but the setting was definitely this one. An intimacy that didn't require for them to necessarily "jump on eachother". And for personal reasons, I needed to reclaim this headcanon so badly, write it down and release it to the world. Just because of that, I can already feel like this little thing spilled here will be one of my favorite writings.
I'm pretty sure this one, at more than 1600 words, is categorized as a fully fledged fic, right?
Now, this is another quite romantic one, but I managed to sneak in a tiny bit of delicious angst towards the end, just cause it's so much their element and I can't stand over-sugary stuff myself. I can't believe I also made actual research for this one. Get ready for some cosmic magic under the cut ✨
Genre: fluff, romance, a sprinkle of angst. Akiho is 17 years old. They haven't found a cure for Kaito yet, but! She has disclosed her true name to him. Snippet: "Akiho-san...do you know the origin of your name?" "...My name?" "Your true one."
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All the curtains were closed tightly. The spacious living room was completely immersed in the darkness, except for a couple of scented candles on the ground, faintly illuminating the floor. Any hindrance out of the way. A generous number of soft cushions of all sizes was arranged on the floor, on top of a large camping mattress, right between the two candles.
Akiho threw herself enthusiastically on the pile of cushions, while Kaito lay down in a slower motion.
"....Ready?" Kaito whispered with a soft smile, while the girl next to him nodded excitedly, azure eyes shining in the dark.
One press on a button of the remote controller, and the whole ceiling turned into a sparkling planetarium.
Akiho gasped. "Oh my god....this is amazing!" She instinctively brought her hands to her face, covering partly her mouth while her voice was choking with emotion, a quirk that even at 17 years old she couldn't drop yet.
The starry vault rotated slowly, while some stars twinkled, giving a quite realistic effect to the scenery. Every now and then, a shooting star would appear randomly, inviting to make a wish.
Kaito looked to the side to check the reaction of the girl, pleased with himself. The star projector had been his present for Akiho's 17th birthday, but between study, book repairs and moving out to another country, they hadn't found a moment of quiet to put it in function. That perfect moment finally came this evening of December.
Of course he bought the most expensive model out there, and this one could even add sound effects to the experience, which he had set on sea waves through the remote control. The idea was "we're lying down on a deserted beach at night, in the early summer", instead of the chilling winter they were actually in.
"Kaito-san..." - Akiho moved her finger up in the air, "what constellation is that one?"
He had vaguely studied astronomy as part of his magic education, but he had forgotten a lot of it...for a moment he was tempted to use a magic spell, but then decided against it, not wanting to irritate the girl beside him. She always reprimanded him whenever he lazily tried to use his magic for the most mundane things. They hadn't found a cure for him yet, so she wanted him to keep the use of magic at the minimum, to avoid affecting his health. Therefore, he pulled himself up and went next to the star projector, changing the little disc with a different one.
The projection changed to a similar starry vault complete with the constellations map, and plopping down next to her, he said with a smile "Akiho-san, that seems to be Virgo!".
"Really?! That's my zodiac sign!!" Her brows furrowed for a moment, then "Indeed, with a bit of imagination that could look like a maiden...without a head". Kaito chuckled. "Wait, where's Pisces?"
Kaito checked the constellation map on his phone (which he had downloaded precisely for this occasion), and after a moment he indicated it, pointing his finger towards the ceiling. "Over there."
"....That one?! Oh....that looks more like a flower with two stems than actually two fishes, doesn't it?" she blurted out, laughing playfully.
"...Akiho-san..." Kaito couldn't help but chuckle again, reveling in the cheerfulness of his beloved. Nothing could send tingles to his heart like the sound of her laughter.
"Akiho-san...do you know the origin of your name?" "...My name?" "Your true one."
Akiho stared at him with curiosity, cheeks tinted slightly with a pink hue. The topic of their true names was usually off-limits. They didn't make a rule for it, but being both very well acquainted with the customs of the magic world, the unspoken agreement was to never bring them up...unless it was something serious.
"I was named after a flower, right?"
"Of course...but do you know why cosmos flowers were named that way?"
The girl stared at him, thinking for a moment about the question. She realized she never actually thought about why cosmos flowers bore that name. So, she shook her head slightly.
"Back in the 17th century, Spanish priests found the flowers in Mexico and cultivated them in their mission gardens."
He looked away from her, turning his gaze towards the starry sky.
"Originally, Kosmos is a Greek word that means 'order' or 'harmonious arrangement'. The priests were fascinated by those flowers' orderly arranged petals, they found them...." He paused.
"...Breathtakingly beautiful. And perfect." His eyes were now twinkling, still fixed on the firmament over their heads. "Just like the universe, the cosmos. So, they named those flowers after it."
Akiho's heartbeat quickened, and if she knew the man next to her well enough, his heart was doing just the same. They had spent enough time together for her to understand all too well what he was trying to say.
Kaito felt Akiho's hand searching for his, and they intertwined them silently.
"Thank you...I didn't know all of that. I've always thought that cosmos flowers were pretty, yes, but not particularly remarkable or unique... It is nice to know that the right people could see the true beauty and worth in them."
As if replying to her, she felt him squeezing her hand.
After a moment of silence, Akiho's right index finger moved up in the air once again. "Wait, what about that one? What is its name? It's big, but the stars don't look particularly bright"
"Hmm...Aquarius, apparently. This one would be basically impossible to see by naked eye, from an urban area."
Akiho made a face once again. "The water-bearer, hmmm... I can see his legs but...these constellations all seem to be missing their heads!", she blurted out, feigning annoyance.
Kaito couldn't hold it in, and burst out laughing, causing her to do the same.
Yes, she was just perfect the way she was.
☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★
Kaito groggily opened his eyes in the dim light of the candles, ceiling still covered with stars. The clock of the living room showed it was 2 am.
Clinging onto his right arm, Akiho was soundly asleep next to him. Consciousness rapidly washed over him, remembering what happened.
Akiho's exploration of the starry vault had gone on for more than an hour, but at some point her remarks and answers had become more and more absentminded, till he realized she had actually fallen asleep. Smiling tenderly at her slumbering form, he was ready to pull himself up to go pick up a blanket for her, and eventually arrange some cushions for himself farther away from the camping mattress (he didn't want to wake her up, but didn't want to leave her sleeping alone in the living room either), but he had quickly realized with dismay that she had turned on the side and literally latched onto his right arm.
He had frozen right there and then. He didn't want to wake her up, but he had started to overthink as usual - this is not appropriate, we shouldn't sleep together, what if-- The result was that the stress made him incredibly sleepy, and after a few minutes of ruminations, Morpheus had taken a hold of him too.
Now that he was fully awake, he mentally scolded himself for falling asleep, and proceeded to do what he didn't have the heart to do before: slowly, slowly, he tried to disentangle his arm from Akiho's grip. When he managed to slip away, he rose to go pick that blanket up, because he couldn't risk for Akiho to catch a cold due to his imprudence.
"Where are you going?"
Her tone made him stop in his tracks immediately. Turning around, what he saw made his heart drop.
Akiho was propped on her elbow, staring in his direction but not quite focused on him. She was clearly still half asleep, but what ripped Kaito's heart apart was her expression, halfway between a scowl and wanting to break into tears.
It didn't take him long to understand why she had that expression. Even after 4 years, the trauma he had caused to her resurfaced sometimes in her dreams, upsetting her when she woke up.
"I'm just going to get a blanket.....I'm not going anywhere." he answered, while painfully making sure to emphasize the last part.
Akiho blinked her eyes twice, awareness coming back to her. Her expression slowly turned into one of realization, then she looked briefly to her side, panicking. "Oh my god, I'm sorry...I didn't fall asleep on you, did I? ...I didn't want to bother you-"
"You've never bothered me once, Akiho-san."
The girl stared at him, misty-eyed. His expression was kind, but tinged with guilt. His figure against the starry ceiling reminded her of that fateful night, when he fought his stubborness and the monsters inside his head to go back to her.
The girl casted her eyes down and to the side, pink hue emerging on her cheeks once again. "Then...once you took that blanket...could you...could you get back here next to me?" she said softly, finding the courage to look up once again.
Kaito had already understood long time ago that he was done for. He knew that no matter how much he tried, he would've never been able to refuse anything to those blue eyes of hers. Especially if he wanted it himself, in the first place.
They stared at eachother for a moment, before Kaito breathed out the air he was unwittingly holding and said with a smile "I'd be happy to, Akiho-san."
Akiho beamed at him, sure more than ever that there wasn't any place on this Earth or in the entire cosmos where she could've felt safer, other than next to him.
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