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#//He feels safe and comfortable enough with them to do that
wolvietxt · 16 hours
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𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗆𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗌!
pairing : logan howlett x reader warnings : reader has the nightmare, logan doesn’t know much about reader’s past, trauma flashbacks, hurt / comfort wc : 1.2k
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the air in the room was thick, almost suffocating. sleep should’ve been a sanctuary, a place where you could shut down the world and find some peace, but tonight... it was anything but peaceful. the soft hum of the night outside didn’t penetrate the tension. the bed felt like a trap, the sheets twisted around your legs, tightening like they wanted to hold you down.
you jolted awake, gasping. the world felt too real, too solid, and you couldn’t quite shake the vividness of the nightmare clinging to your mind. your chest heaved as you tried to ground yourself, pressing your hands into the mattress, but the fear and memories were still clawing at you.
you were back there - in the past. hands bound, eyes wide open, watching everything but being unable to do a thing. the missions, the screams, the people you’d hurt... it all replayed in slow motion, burning through your mind like it had never really left.
logan stirred beside you, his body instinctively shifting when he felt your movements. he was a heavy sleeper in some ways, but when it came to you, the smallest sign of distress was enough to get his attention. his arm draped over your waist, pulling you closer, his chest pressed against your back. normally, the warmth would be enough to calm you, but tonight you felt like you were drowning in the heat, unable to escape the memories.
“what’s wrong?” logan’s voice was a gravelly whisper, heavy with sleep but alert. his lips brushed against the back of your neck as he spoke, his breath warm on your skin. “bad dream?”
you didn’t answer right away. you couldn’t. the words felt too heavy, too tangled up in the nightmare. your hands were trembling, and it was only when you realised how tight your grip was on the sheets that you forced yourself to let go.
“yeah,” you finally whispered, voice barely audible. “just a nightmare.”
he didn’t ask for more, didn’t press you. logan wasn’t the type to demand explanations. instead, he shifted so he could pull you against his chest, his arms wrapping around you like a shield. the weight of him against your back, the solid feel of him, was grounding in a way that nothing else could be.
“you’re safe,” he murmured, his voice rough but soothing. “nothin’s gonna hurt you. i won’t let it.”
the words should’ve been enough. they always had been before, but tonight they weren’t. not because you didn’t believe him - logan would go through hell to protect you - but because the danger wasn’t outside. it was inside you, trapped in your head, a part of the past that wouldn’t let go.
you swallowed hard, your throat tight, and turned to face him. his eyes were heavy-lidded with sleep, but there was a sharpness there, a readiness to do whatever needed to be done if it meant you’d be okay.
“it’s... it’s not about right now,” you started, your voice shaky. “it’s the past. stuff i... i can’t forget.”
logan’s brow furrowed, his thumb brushing absently over your shoulder. he didn’t say anything, just waited. the silence between you was thick but not uncomfortable, the kind of silence that meant he was listening. that he’d listen for as long as you needed, without judgment.
you drew in a breath, trying to steady yourself, but the memories were still fresh in your mind, too close to ignore.
“i keep dreaming about them,” you admitted, your voice quieter than before. “the missions. the people. what i did before... before you.”
logan didn’t react right away, but his hold on you tightened slightly. his jaw clenched, and you could tell he hated that you were still haunted by that part of your life. but he didn’t interrupt, didn’t tell you to stop talking. he just let you get it out.
“i try to let it go. i try to move past it, but it’s like every time i close my eyes, i’m back there. doing things i can’t take back.”
you hated how raw your voice sounded, hated that those memories still held power over you. but more than anything, you hated that even now, after all this time, they could still make you feel like you were drowning.
logan’s hand moved up to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek in slow, gentle strokes. his eyes were dark, filled with an understanding that came from his own history, his own pain. you weren’t alone in that, not with him. logan had his own ghosts, his own past that bled into the present in ways he couldn’t always control.
“you did what you had to do,” he said, his voice low but steady. “you survived. and that’s what matters.”
you shook your head, pulling back slightly. “but it doesn’t change what i did.”
“no, it doesn’t,” he agreed, his voice quiet but firm. “but you ain’t the same person anymore. you got out. you’re here. with me.”
he said it like it was simple, like the fact that you were with him was enough to erase everything else. and in a way, maybe it was. logan had a way of grounding you, of pulling you back from the edge of your own mind. he wasn’t one for long speeches or trying to fix things with words. he just... existed with you in the moment. and that was what you needed.
you felt a tear slip down your cheek, and you wiped it away quickly, not wanting to make a big deal of it. but logan saw. he always saw.
his hand caught yours, stopping you from brushing away the rest of the tears. he pressed his forehead to yours, his breath steady and calming, like an anchor. “you don’t gotta be strong all the time. not with me.”
that did it. the dam broke. you closed your eyes, letting the tears fall freely now, no longer fighting to hold them back. logan didn’t say anything, didn’t try to stop you. he just held you, his arms solid and strong, letting you release the weight of everything you’d been carrying.
the room was quiet except for your breathing, the soft sounds of your sobs fading as the minutes passed. it wasn’t a loud cry, nothing dramatic. just a release, like the pressure had finally built too high, and you couldn’t hold it anymore.
logan held you until your breathing evened out, until the tears dried up and you were left feeling hollow but lighter. his hand kept a steady rhythm on your back, rubbing slow, calming circles.
“you okay?” he asked, his voice softer than before, almost a whisper.
you nodded, your head still pressed against his chest. you felt the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the slow, calming beat of his heart. it was enough to pull you fully back into the present, away from the nightmare.
“i’m okay,” you whispered, even though you didn’t quite believe it. but you would be. with logan, you always ended up okay.
he kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there, warm and steady. “good. ‘cause you don’t deserve to be stuck in the past. not when you’ve come this far.”
you closed your eyes again, but this time, there was no nightmare waiting for you. just the warmth of logan’s arms, the steady sound of his breathing, and the quiet promise that whatever came next, you wouldn’t face it alone.
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damiansgoodgirll · 3 days
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hi~
can i request a rhea smut where rhea is eating out her secret girlfriend backstage in theirbdressing room and either one of them are on a time limit to start their match? love your writing <3
rhea ripley x reader
likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed!!
‼️smut, soft!rhea, dom!rhea, no plot at all
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5 minutes
rhea was supposed to be in the ring in less than ten minutes to confront dom and liv, continuing the feud between the judgment day. she knew she had a time limit and yet that didn’t stop her from having you laying on the black leather couch inside the dressing room with her kneeled between your legs.
“rhea…we have to go…” you whispered, trying to keep your moans low. you had a match later that night against liv morgan and time wasn’t a problem for you, if it wasn’t for the fact that you were naked, your make up all ruined and hair all messy. you were probably the one who took the most to get ready and you knew that twenty minutes weren’t enough for you to fix the mess rhea made.
“i don’t care…let me make you feel good baby…” she moaned against your pussy. she was addicted to you, like you were her personal drug.
“you’re opening the show in ten minutes rhea…” you brought a hand over your lips trying to keep your whimpers shut.
she left a soft kiss against your clit and chuckled “i only need five minutes to make you crumble under me, you can’t say no baby…” and she was right. she knew you too well, she knew your weak spots and her mouth on your pussy was one of those.
“fuck…okay…hurry though…” you heard her laughing against your skin when you tried to give her orders.
“bossy, aren’t we?” she smirked, tracing your entrance with her tongue, teasing you enough to make your legs shake but not enough to make you cum. her tongue moved skilfully against your clit, her hands over your thighs trying to keep you still and her eyes moving between your folds to your eyes. she loved seeing how hard it was for you to keep it quiet.
“ripley, four minutes” someone screamed outside banging on her door.
“i can make you cum in two…” she whispered, more to your pussy than you. she knew what she was doing, and she knew she was good at playing with you.
you almost screamed when he teeth slowly grazed over your swollen clit. your hand covering your mouth as it was becoming harder to keep it shut “oh shit…” you let a few whimpers out when rhea’s tongue added more pressure over your bundle of nerves.
she moaned, inhaling your scent “right there baby?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“mh…right there, please” it came out as a desperate cry and rhea loved every second of it. she knew your body in a way that you didn’t even know.
rhea alternating between softly kissing your clit and hardly biting and kissing it, the whole situation made your legs shake so much that not even rhea was able to keep your body down “you coming beautiful?”
you couldn’t even answer, too lost in the pleasure your girlfriend was giving you. your hands found her hair and you slightly pushed her even more against your pussy “oh fuck…rhea…” your moans were like melodies for her, she couldn’t get enough. one last flick of her tongue was enough to make you cum in her mouth, but rhea didn’t stop there.
she cleaned you up with her tongue, softly, taking her sweet time to ride you through your orgasm. when you calmed down, she rose up from her knees and she helped you sitting more comfortably on the couch. some tears spilled as you came and rhea noticed your smudged make up. she smiled to herself, bringing a hand to wipe some of those remaining tears as she softly kissed your head “i’ll take good care of you tonight, i promise…” and you believed her, because no matter how rough and mean rhea was to you in bed, she always took time to make you feel safe and to take care of you, especially in those vulnerable states.
“i know…” your voice was barely a whisper.
“i have a show to open…” she smirked, fixing her make up quickly and leaving the room. leaving you there, looking like a mess and sitting naked on the couch as you watched her making her big entrance with her usual cocky smile.
your focus went to the match you had against liv morgan that same night and when you stood up from your sitting position, your looked yourself into the mirror and noticed how ruined your hair and make up were.
“fuck!” you almost screamed, looking at the time and trying to get yourself together before the start of your match.
rhea did a good job on you and you were kinda proud of how she handled you but she left you in a horrible state and you weren’t so sure that you were gonna be able to fix it.
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machveil · 2 days
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Trying not to think about Simon 'Always Doing Acts of Service and Caring for Others Silently' Ghost Riley forgetting to care for himself as much, and how it would probably touch a part of his heart he thought wasn't there anymore if someone did the same for him. Something simple, like just a new jacket after his old one got wrecked from wear and tear, that's thick and durable but soft and comfortable, a nice weight on his shoulders but doesn't make him sweat, resting over his chair. Or after a long day of work where he's dragging himself along, finding a meal already made for him sitting in the fridge, something actually cooked and seasoned the way he likes so he doesn't have to think about cooking or go to bed on an empty stomach. Idk, this has been rattling around in my brain all day and I needed to get it out, sorry if this is weird! Also really like your art and writing, congrats on the 1k, you deserve it and so much more!
anon I’m smooching your big, beautiful brain (I wrote this in one sitting, hope it’s not terrible lol)
Simon Riley is a man of action - Ghost, the most literal manifestation of serving. Ghost follows and gives orders to assure his team, his friends, make it home safe at the end of a deployment. as a Lieutenant, Simon wouldn’t say it out loud, but he cares so deeply for his team. Task Force 141 is a second home to him, more so the people, and thus makes it his job to protect them
but Simon Riley is also a man of action off duty - a civilian who’s heart rests in your hands. loyal as a dog, Simon would do anything for you. a man of action, he’ll insist you relax, you shouldn’t lift a finger for something small. anything Simon can do in your stead he will. because, while his team is a second home, his true home is you
but Simon, stubborn and strong as he is, gets tired. front door clicking shut, mask already being tugged off, his muscles are tense and sore after a long day. dirty blond hair messy and eyes half lidded with exhaustion, he’s still only got one thing on his mind - to serve you and make you happy. he already planned on trudging into the kitchen to make dinner, something simple but filling. he pauses when he smells food already though
kicking his boots off, worn and dirty, he makes his way to the little kitchen around the corner. cracking a small, barely there smile at the sight in front of him. you, moving about the kitchen. the lights a little dim - he’d change the lightbulb later, and there you are, cooking a meal. one step ahead of him, and he soaks in the domestic scene. a part of him wants to step in, tell you you’ve done enough and he’ll finish everything off… but he doesn’t have the heart to disrupt this cozy, intimate moment
it’s only when you see him does he approach, hands a touch too rough and calloused - he’s sure you’ll make him moisturize later. “Smells nice, lovie.”, he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hairline. eyes fluttering shut as he holds your hands, a small grin tugs at his lips, “S‘pose the food smells good too.”. he relishes in the laugh that leaves you, the way you squeeze his hands. he moves to press a kiss to your jaw, slightly crooked nose nudging against you as his hands wander to your hips - touch featherlight, as if handling you any rougher might shatter you
there’s a reluctance in his heart as he lets go of you, scoffing when you tell him to go sit down. “Bossy little thing.”, he mumbles, voice lighthearted as he leans back against a counter. he stays there for just a moment, one last glance at you happily cooking - cooking for him. it melts his heart knowing that you’re just a loyal as him, that you’d both run to the ends of the Earth for each other
he’s content to finally relax, leaving the kitchen to slump against a chair in the small dining room. head tilted back a little as he rolls his shoulders, his hands move to idly take his belt off - he’d change later, a hot shower after dinner always made him feel better. maybe he’d convince you to join him, better yet— maybe he’d convince himself to indulge in a hot bath instead. and when you join him at the table, sitting down next to him with a full plate for him, Simon feels butterflies in his stomach
he loves eating with you, sharing a meal and letting his guard down. gaze smitten as he listens to you recount your day, breathing steady as he hums. and when everything is done, stubborn man, he’ll take the dishes to the kitchen. as much as he’d like to wash them straight away, he settles for leaving them in the sink tonight. soon enough he’s sweeping you up in his arms - no matter how roughed up and sore he is, he always finds the strength to carry you. he’ll ignore any protest that, “Simon! I can walk—“, a gruff chuckle rumbling in his chest, “Know that, love, but I can carry you just fine.”
and from then on, Simon feels like he’s floating. in a dreamlike state, he sets you down on the cool bathroom floor, feet making contact with tile. gently thumbing at your hips, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, “Thank you.”. soft spoken words contrasting his gravely voice, another kiss pressed to your cheek - lips a little chapped, but he’s never heard you complain about them
and when you help each other slowly strip, the bathroom filling with mist like steam, he feels the tension in his muscles give. he puts up a little fight, grumbled words, when you insist on sudsing him up. he’s all bark though, when he feels you rub his aching shoulders he feels like he could never muster up any bite ever agiain. comfortable and turning to putty in your hands, he’ll happily let you mould him into a soft, gentle man
he’ll lazily return the favor, rough hands lathered in your body wash. content. feeling you under his palms, warm skin dotted with beads of water and bubbles, Simon’s content. a warmth in his chest that he’s still not used to. the simple intimacy of washing away the sweat and filth from the day, it makes Simon feel like a new man - and to wash you? he’s happy you feel safe enough, that you trust him, to handle you so carefully
and at the end of the night, cleaned from the dirt of his daily life, Simon settles in bed with you. all gentle touches and soft, murmured praise - you did so good for him today. he fights the back of his mind off, you’ve taught him better than to believe those gnawing words. Simon Riley deserves this. a phrase you carved into his heart, long since settled at the forefront of his mind. and as he holds you to his chest, warm hand on the small of your back, he sighs deeply…
a man of action deserves rest
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carnelianly · 1 day
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this post contains noncon! please don’t read if that will be upsetting! i would never promote this in real life, and people, men or women, are always unable to consent to any kind of contact while intoxicated!
art is your friend. not your boyfriend. not your dog that you can tug around on a leash like you seem to think you can. he has a girlfriend. he’s madly in love with her. he doesn’t want you. sure, he can acknowledge that you’re pretty and he can tell himself, in the comforts of his own head ‘if i were single, i’d.. definitely go for her’. in another life, maybe he was yours. not in this one.
but he was invited out to the bar by patrick who also invited you and a couple other friends and he doesn’t mind your presence at all. you’re.. you’re nice enough. you may make him a little nervous when you smile like that, but that’s not for him to say. he keeps himself polite but distant in conversation with you.
he drinks a little too much. patrick always suggests shots and what is art supposed to do? say no? look like a pussy?
he downs them anyway, one after another until it’s two hours later and he forgets he’s barely eaten much all day and there’s so much alcohol in his system that he can’t stand up straight.
not to worry, you’re them to catch him before he falls over. patrick and the others are off talking about some nonsense, but you’re being so nice and helpful, you wipe the drool from his chin and fix his hair and he smiles faintly at you in gratitude.
you smile back at him, one arm holding him up since he’s not stable enough to stand on his own, half leaning on the bar counter and half relying on you to keep him up. your other hand is… art isn’t really paying attention. feels weird, though. it’s between his thighs, rubbing the skin softly, almost teasingly. art isn’t coherent enough to understand what’s happening.
you’re smiling at him, telling him everything is gonna be fine, because it will be. everything will be okay. he doesn’t have to worry, you’ll take care of him, keep him safe. there’s so many bad people in this world that might try to hurt him, steal his wallet, take advantage of him. you’re not like that. you’re just gonna keep talking to him like this until it’s time to leave and then you’re gonna take him home. he’s too drunk to get back to his place by himself, so you’ll just let him stay at yours. so gracious of you.
he listens because he has no other choice, and he’s not as much letting you touch him but not able to stop you. your hand is on his crotch, massaging him through his jeans, and he moans and he falls forward into you, resting his head on your shoulder. he’s weak. unable to do anything but take this treatment. your hand that was keeping him upright moves to his ass, always so plump and thick, god, he obviously does it for his girlfriend but he might as well have done it for you, in this moment.
you could so easily take what you wanted from him, especially because you’re sure he’s about to black out and remember nothing. but you’re a better person than that, you tell yourself. you’re just touching, you’re not gonna break anything.
you end up taking him into the bathroom, and he’s too drunk to know what he’s doing, but hey, he kissed you first, even if he’s tripping over his own feet and practically drooling into your mouth. it’s hot, and you feel him up some more. it feels wrong to fuck him, too permanent. he’d definitely know what happened then. he’s smart when he’s sober, smart enough anyway.
in the end, he’s taken home with patrick and a couple of buddies, taking a shared uber home while art is blacked out, while you go off by yourself.
the next time you see art, he definitely does not remember what happened that night. he does feel a little weird around you, but he can’t quite put his finger on why your presence is so.. uncomfortable all of a sudden…
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swiftiethatlovesf1 · 3 days
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Back home p.5
Hey guyss, I hope you enjoy this part and if you've missed part 4 here it is.
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Charles steps closer, his brow furrowed with concern as he gently places a hand on your shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay?” His voice is soft, calming, but you can hear the underlying worry. Without thinking, you nod, though your heart is still racing from the encounter. The relief of having Charles step in hits you all at once, and before you know it, his arms are wrapping around you in a comforting hug.
You lean into him, grateful for his warmth and steady presence. He holds you just tight enough to make you feel safe, and you close your eyes, letting the moment calm your nerves.
As you stand there in Charles's embrace, you don’t notice Arthur approaching from across the room. But he sees you. The way Charles is holding you, the protective way his arms are wrapped around you—Arthur’s chest tightens with a mix of emotions.
That should be me, Arthur thinks, his jaw clenched as a wave of jealousy rushes through him. He’s always been the one looking out for you, keeping you close. And now, seeing his brother comforting you, it feels like something is slipping away, something he thought was only his.
He quickly crosses the room, pushing those thoughts aside as he approaches. "What happened?" Arthur's voice is tight, though he tries to mask the storm brewing inside him.
Charles lets go of you, and you take a deep breath, turning to Arthur. “Some guy wouldn’t leave me alone. Charles showed up just in time.”
Arthur’s eyes darken as he processes what you’re saying, a flash of protectiveness sparking in him. “What did he do?” he asks, his voice low and serious now. The tension is clear in his posture as he steps closer, his gaze flicking from you to where the guy had disappeared into the crowd.
You shake your head. “It’s fine. He just… wouldn’t take no for an answer. Charles handled it.”
Arthur’s expression softens as he looks at you, his concern overshadowing the jealousy he feels toward his brother. Gently, he reaches out, his hand brushing your arm as he steps even closer. “Are you okay?”
His touch is different from Charles’s—more familiar, warmer in a way that makes you feel safe, like you’ve been here a thousand times before. You smile softly, trying to ease his worry. “Yeah, I’m okay now.”
But inside, Arthur’s thoughts are far from calm. Charles is always swooping in, isn’t he? he thinks, though he hides it well. He wants to be the one you turn to, the one you feel safe with—not his brother. The jealousy gnaws at him, but seeing you shaken like this, his priority is making sure you’re alright.
“Let’s get out of here,” Arthur suggests, his tone gentle but firm, still not quite able to shake the possessiveness he feels. He looks over at Charles, who nods in agreement.
The three of you leave the party together, Arthur keeping you close by his side. He glances over at Charles, who walks on the other side of you, and for a brief moment, he catches his brother’s eye. There’s a silent understanding between them—both of them are here for you, but Arthur can’t help but feel that old rivalry flaring up again, just beneath the surface.
As you step outside into the cool night air, you feel a sense of relief wash over you. Arthur stays close, his hand on your back, while Charles walks quietly beside you. They’re both there, looking out for you, but in Arthur’s mind, there’s only one person he wants to be, the one you need..
As the three of you walk out into the cool night air, the tension from the party starts to fade. The silence feels comforting, but you can sense that Arthur and Charles are still watching over you closely. You feel their presence on either side, and it’s reassuring, but also a little overwhelming—like you’re caught between them in a way you can’t quite place.
Suddenly, Charles breaks the quiet. “How about we get some ice cream?” he suggests, his voice light and easy. “Might help brighten the mood after… all that.”
You smile at the idea, grateful for the distraction. “Ice cream sounds perfect.”
Arthur, though still a bit tense, nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’m in.”
A short while later, you’re sitting outside a small ice cream shop, the three of you at a quiet table. The atmosphere is much more relaxed now, and you find yourself laughing at something Charles said about the last time he tried to cook. It’s easy, comfortable—just like old times.
As you take a bite of your ice cream, Arthur glances at Charles, his voice teasing but with an edge of curiosity. “By the way, doesn’t your girlfriend miss you right now? It’s getting pretty late.”
Charles’s expression shifts slightly, a small shadow crossing his face. He lowers his spoon, and for a moment, he hesitates. “We broke up,” he says simply, his tone more serious than it’s been all night.
You stop mid-bite, eyes widening. “Oh, Charles… I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Without thinking, you reach out and place a hand on his arm, your touch gentle.
Charles gives you a small, appreciative smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. It wasn’t working for a while now. But thanks.”
You nod, giving him a sympathetic look. “Breakups are hard, but you’ll get through it. You always do.”
Arthur watches the exchange quietly, trying to push down the flicker of jealousy that rises in him when he sees you comforting his brother. He knows you’re just being kind, but it still stings to see how easily Charles seems to pull you into his orbit. I need to be the one she turns to, Arthur thinks, but he keeps it to himself, staying focused on you.
After a moment, Charles glances at you, his expression curious but lighthearted. “So, what about you? Anyone special in your life these days?” His tone is casual, but there’s an underlying tension in the question that you don’t notice.
You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Nope. Just me.” You take another spoonful of ice cream, completely unaware of how both Charles and Arthur are subtly watching your every move.
What you don’t realize is that the moment you answered, both brothers held their breath, waiting for what you’d say. They both feel a strange mixture of relief and anticipation at your response, even if neither of them lets it show.
“Well,” Charles says with a playful smile, trying to keep the mood light, “that just means they haven’t met someone as great as you yet.”
Arthur chuckles, but his smile is tight. He’s glad to hear you’re single, but he also knows this changes things. There’s no competition—except between him and his brother.
You smile back at both of them, oblivious to the tension that simmers just below the surface. To you, it’s just another night with two of your closest friends, not realizing how much more it means to them.
Tag list: @iamapersonwholikesunicorns, @janeh22, @victoriaholland, @abq654, @iamapersonwholikesunicorns, @anaferreira-4, @larastark3107, @itgirlofthecenturysposts, @boherahpsody, @iamkaku, @jz12
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jasntodds · 1 day
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Penance [7]
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader
Words: 8,230
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni
Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞
It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?
Right?
A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.
You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?
“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.
“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.
“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”
“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.
“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.
“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.
Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”
“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”
Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”
“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.
“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. ���Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”
“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”
“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.
“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”
“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.
“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.
A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.
You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.
“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.
Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.
“Hey.” Gar chimes.
Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.
“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.
Nothing going on, sure.
Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.
“What happened?” Gar asks.
You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.
“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.
You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.
You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.
You: What? Don’t trust my driving?
Jaybird: No ☠️
You: Fuck you 🔪
Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe
You: You suck
Jaybird: 🤤
You: 🤮
Jaybird: 🖕
You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around
Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?
Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.
You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd
Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe
You: That a dare?
Jaybird: I dare you
You: Okay
You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.
“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.
“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.
“She’s doing what?”
“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.
“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.
You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.
“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.
“Hey!” You yell.
“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.
“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.
Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.
You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.
You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.
“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”
This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.
“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.
You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.
Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.
Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.
You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.
“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.
“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.
“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.
“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.
A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.
A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.
His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.
You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.
But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.
“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”
“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.
“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.
“So are you.” You quip.
“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.
“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.
“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.
You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.
The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.
Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.
Your steps stop right at the top.
You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.
Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.
Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.
“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.
“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.
Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.
Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.
Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.
“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.
“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.
What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?
“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.
What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?
“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.
Fuck it.
You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.
His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.
You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.
You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.
You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.
“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.
He fucking snickers.
And stills your hips.
“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.
“What’s that?”Jason teases.
“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.
Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.
“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.
You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.
Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.
“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.
There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.
You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”
Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.
Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.
It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.
The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.
You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.
He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.
Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?
“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”
“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.
“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.
Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.
Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?
What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?
“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“
“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”
You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.
“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.
Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.
You can't know.
“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.
“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”
Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.
“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.
You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”
Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.
You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.
"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."
"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.
"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."
"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.
"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.
Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”
“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”
Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”
“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”
It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.
“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.
“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.
You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.
Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.
Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.
“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.
Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.
“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.
Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.
“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.
Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.
The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?
You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.
Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.
You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.
He sucks a mark into your neck.
And then another.
And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.
He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second. 
"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.
Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand. 
Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"
You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."
Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"
"I could just do it myself." You quip back.
"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.
You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."
Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.
"Then I get to watch you."
Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.
His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.
Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.
Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.
His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.
He'll tell you later.
Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.
Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.
You'll tell him later.
Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.
"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.
A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."
A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.
Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.
You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.
"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.
"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.
"H-harder." You get out.
Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"
Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."
You don't have to ask again.
Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.
You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.
It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.
Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.
You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.
Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.
“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.
Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.
“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."
He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.
Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.
Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”
“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"
Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.
You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”
Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.
You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.
“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.
“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.
“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.
“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.
“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.
“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"
Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."
"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.
"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.
"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.
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series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
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Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai //
@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //
@velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 //
@stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao //  @somehow-lovable-trash  // 
@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased //
@scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 //
@septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp //
@strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii // @adorabluesposts // @jasontoddthings //
@bbiaa420 // @todorokiskitten // @krishavania
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em-harlsnow · 20 hours
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i’ve said it before but i’ll say it again, people need to talk more about the dugouts scene with ian and mickey when ian hits him. im tired of people acting like mickey’s the only violent one in the relationship.
(note: i’m not justifying anything mickey’s done, i think he’s done some terrible things to ian, but i want to talk about ian for a minute. also i love ian, im not hating, im just tryna hold him accountable for the stuff he’s done as well)
because during the scene at the dugouts, mickey tries to help ian by telling him not to drink. now, i get that the whole caretaker shtick can get annoying. but mickey has never taken care of anyone but himself (and even then, barely) and the fact that he wants to take care of ian is a big deal given his past. also the fact that he feels SAFE enough to try and help ian and show his more vulnerable side.
i know ian was in a bad place generally, as well, but that doesn’t excuse abuse. because ian punches mickey hard in the face for CARING, and when mickey doesn’t rise to it and won’t hit him back, i think ian assumes mickey doesn’t think he can fight anymore because he’s bipolar. he thinks mickey is treating him with kid gloves. and maybe he is, but he’s also just trying to love ian.
so mickey doesn’t hit back, he just lets ian punch him. so then ian starts yelling at him, insulting him, calling him a faggot just to get mickey to punch back. and mickey does, and they fight. but the fact that mickey’s been abused his whole life, likely been verbally and physically abused for showing any vulnerability… the scene just really fucking hurt. it hurts that it’s the first time mickey feels safe and comfortable enough to be soft with ian and gets hit and shouted at for it, by ian, when he’s already had that his whole life.
it’s like every time he takes a step forward he gets hurt. and that makes me sad.
i understand ian in that scene, i really do, just like i understand mickey when he beat the shit out of ian at the buildings. does that justify them? fuck no, they both did really shitty things to each other.
anyway, the dugout scene turned out okay in the end, so that’s a bit better.
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plumbob-pudding · 2 days
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There's something to be said about change and time and fate: wise words strung together to explain that horrid, yet inescapable destiny that plagues every person as the clock ticks closer and closer to adulthood. Just as the warmth of a nest abandons the baby bird and the softness of her mother's fur leaves the poor kitten, adulthood seems nothing but an empty chasm of loneliness.
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The letters brought her comfort, or at least that's what she told herself for lies were all the Germans had spared them nowadays. Seeing that "Dearest sister" when Fraser was feeling sentimental (if a little mocking) or the "To Lorna" when Charlie didn't have the time (for he never did, at least not for her). She was lucky to get that much. Many people didn't.
Still she spent every night wandering the grounds, walking up and down the endless corridors, sinking her bare feet in the mulchy grass, begging to feel anything but this. Longing to be seven again when wars were just scary stories with dragons and knights, something so fantastical that it seemed impossible and Charlie and Fraser, her steadfast knights, seemed forever.
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As she read the cramped, barely legible words over and over, fingers blackening at the tips as she stroked the words, she suddenly began to feel a prickling in her neck.
If she weren't a proper sort of girl, a girl that perhaps believed in magic and superstitions-like those circus folk Mother hated- she would have thought it a sign, a harbinger of hell or something of the sort. But she wasn't that sort of girl. Perhaps she ought to have been.
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She allowed herself a singular gasp and a much too generous second look at the darkening sky heavy with planes-German planes (and German bombs though she declined to focus on that) before shrugging on the familiar Form captain uniform and marching the other upper sixth girls all down to the shelter. Her face, like any soldier, remained unmoving, uncaring, unafraid, even as Alison kept trying to catch her eye.
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It was only when they were all safely hidden at depths even the bombs wouldn't dare dive down to, that she allowed herself to breathe. The silent, dank box provided an unusual comfort. It was so strange how war made everything turn topsy turvy, her bedroom a danger but this basement with the wooden beds they'd nailed together just last week, a safety.
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The rest of the girls played as they ought to. They were children and she was not. She couldn't be, not now, not when they all needed her.
Ms. Crumplebottom caught her eye and pulled her to the side.
"The sirens are not working," she said, voice trembling, hands shaking even in the heavy woollen robe she donned. "I must go warn the village, the planes will get to them soon enough."
Lorna nodded without complaint, hearing the implicit instruction to look after the rest of the girls.
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"Yes, Headmistress. Will do," she added, trying and failing not to see Charlie and Fraser doing the same. It's funny, she allowed herself to think, they were all living remarkably similar lives yet lives still so very separate.
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tarithenurse · 3 days
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Pirate's Bounty II
Fandom: MCU AU
Pairing/starring: 1st mate!Bucky x Pirate princess!reader
Word count: 1128
Content: Smut
A/N: Woopsie! Wrote a part 2. Hope you’re okay with that.
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Pirate’s Bounty II
Sharing a room at the inn, the Pirate’s Cove, was Bucky’s idea of safety. Falling asleep fully dressed after the ball was not planned but she has slept wonderfully albeit rather brief.
Waking up, [Y/N]’s vaguely aware of the soft light coming through the curtains from the courtyard beyond. What’s more pressing, however, is the weight over her waist that holds her warm and snug against a hard shape behind her. Glancing around, she’s soon verified that it’s Bucky who has scooped her into his arm and drifted off on the comfortable bed before she woke.
Lying as still as she can, the captain considers disentangling herself but...it actually feels lovely. Safe. So instead she remains where she is, fingertips slowly caressing his knuckles until the light of dawn starts to fill the room and he wakes from his rest too.
Yawning. Stretching against her form. She can feel his muscles flex and his hip push against her behind, causing her to remember that night on the deck.
“Good morning,” the young woman whispers.
“Morning.” He pulls her closer, then freezes at the realization. But: “Shit, I fell asleep!”
She twists to look at him. “That’s what you take from this?”
He doesn’t bother to look sheepish even as he maintains his grip. “Figured I’d feel if you tried to sneak away.”
There’s a certain logic to it, of course, as offensive as it may be to be called out on something she very well might have done just months ago. But now no longer.
“I know I can’t do that,” she admits, turning her head away.
“You’ll get your freedom back some day,” he offers surprisingly kind.
She sighs. “And until then you’ll watch my back.”
“Please!” he grins mischievously, “I’ll watch all of you.”
“Bucky!” But she can’t help laughing softly.
He bends down, finding her mouth with his lips even as he mumbles a “pardon me, m’lady” against her.
She’s soft and pliable, greedily taking what he offers even as his large hand begins to roam, slipping under the soft top to explore the swell of her breasts before sliding along her hip and slowly but surely hoisting up the skirt.
“Get rid of this,” he growls, giving up on the many thin layers that keep sliding back.
[Y/N] gets to her feet, suddenly insecure but also driven by a need she’s only felt a few times now. Slipping the skirt down, she steps out of it as it pools on the floor, leaving her in naught but the top and her undies and that top is the next to go, slowly lifted over her head to bare her form to a hungry looking 1st mate. She’s about to get back into the bed when he shakes his head.
“All of it,” he demands.
Stepping back, she slides the little bit of modesty she has left down her legs, revealing all of her.
“And now?” she asks, voice whispier than she wants.
Getting over to her, Bucky allows his hands to brush down her arms before skimming up her sides to cup her breasts once more.
“Those bastards have no idea what they’re missing out on,” he growls, referring to her suitors
“Please don’t make me think of them now,” [Y/N] pleads.
He grins cockily. “Oh, I’ll take your mind off things.”
Next thing she knows, she’s been more or less tossed onto the bed, automatically spreading her legs to cradle Bucky between them even as he holds himself off of her.
This time the kiss is hungry. Searing. All teeth and tongue, little bites that wander down her jaw and onto her neck while her fingers tangle in his hair. She gasps when he takes a nipple in his mouth, suckling gently but hard enough to sting just a little and she knows she’s done for as the pressure within her increases, begging for more. Like a knot wanting to be cut.
But for one as brusque and direct, Bucky takes his time teasing and winding her up until she’s a whining mess, begging for more although his mouth and hands have been everywhere.
“More?” he double checks, looking up from where he’s kneeling between her legs, lips glistening from her juices. “Are you certain?”
She whimpers. “Yes. More. There must be more.”
About ready to cry when he steps out of the bed, the young woman is quickly silenced as she sees him untie his trousers revealing something she’s only seen once in real life and that in a different state. Now his cock stands erect, proud. Bobbing slightly at the newfound freedom but mostly scaring her with the sheer size.
“Come here,” he steps closer, reaching for her hand.
With him, she touches his erection for the first time, feeling how silken the skin is despite the hardness of the member. She explores, learning how it pulses when she touches beneath the head that’s a dark purple and slowly it becomes less scary.
Making her scoot over, Bucky lies down and guides his lover on top of him, slowly showing her how to pump the cock between her hands until she finds a rhythm that makes his eyes fall shut and the large man groan in pleasure.
“Fuck yeah...”
But he doesn’t allow her to continue, instead repositioning her with the tip of the cock nestled in between her legs right at the entrance to her cunt.
“Take it slow,” he guides her, “a bit at a time.”
Her heart is hammering in her chest as she slowly sinks onto him, spearing herself on the blunt tip. The stretch burns but it’s delicious too and each inch earns her growled praises from Bucky. Rocking back and forth, she eventually can’t take any more, she feels, and when she looks down, she finds that she’s fully seated on his cock. So full.
“Yeah?” he asks her.
“Fuck,” she sighs, gently gyrating the hips to really feel him in her heat.
Large hands find her hips, help her find a rhythm again. Slow and steady up and down until her thighs are burning and her body tenses and she can’t breathe or see but only arch her back in ecstasy.
“So fucking beautiful,” she vaguely hears him growl.
Then her world spins and she finds her beneath him, legs wrapped around his hips that move with a new purpose, bringing her high once more at the same time as he stutters in the movements and growls into her neck something guttural. Something primal.
Bucky manages not to collapse onto the considerably smaller female, instead rolling them so she rests on top. There, they just lie, catching their breaths.
“That was...” [Y/N] tries to articulate, “that was...amazing.”
“Fuck yeah it was,” the 1st mate agrees.
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robiinurheart33 · 2 days
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Part 1
The next time Soap wakes up, he isn’t screaming anymore.
He sort of felt that after passing out from the pain of Ghost’s touch along with the stitches that he was gonna wake up in a shitton of pain but surpringly he felt…comfortable. Soap opens his bleary eyes to take stock of the situation. He’s obviously in one of the rooms in the safe house, the room completely void of light. Not even the moonlight is able to pierce through the blackout curtains. No doubt Ghost probably would’ve also dead locked the windows. He feels the cooling touch of a bedsheet under his fingers, the whirring of a fan blowing on his face. He can hear shuffling downstairs, Ghost probably settling down for a few days at the house before they’re cleared to go out.
Johnny sits up with a soft groan, hand patting his side where his stitches lie. His mind feels blissfully silent, like for once a higher being is allowing him to rest, if only for a short while. He feels 10 again when his socked feet slide across the ground as he stands, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and opening the door to the bedroom. Johnny isn’t completely sure of where his bedroom is located, but he manages to find the living room easily and by extension; Ghost. He looks ethereal and deadly in the moonlight, sitting on the couch and cleaning his guns.
“About time you woke up.” Christ, he sounds exhausted. Has he rested even once when he patched Soap up?
“How long was I out?”
A pause. “Long enough.” Ghost sounded more gravely than usual. Soap tries not to dwell on it, what it implies. He knows that even if he tries to get Ghost to rest, it would end up fruitless. He knows other ways to trick him into resting.
Johnny spots his phone on the table and checks the time. 2:37am. Shit, it’s been quite a while since he passed out. They left for the op at 4am, and arrived at the safe house at around 7:30am. He’d been sleeping all this time. He sighs and perches himself onto the couch arm. Far enough that he isn’t invading Ghost’s personal space, but still remaining within his reach. He stares at the generic wallpaper his phone is blinking back at him. His real phone is back in his bedside table at base. The wallpaper is of his family about 8 years ago, all of them grinning at a eyefish filter Johnny’s sister took. Johnny looks ridiculous, his mowhawk not yet making its debut, and an old phase of a beard is evident on his face, bushy and proud. This was taken when they were all on vacation together, a rare occasion when he was able to save enough offs and before all the kids, complications and death. There were the MacTavishes, once upon a time. His mother, two older sisters and a little, blue eyed John. Remember John, His sister hissed, wagging a finger in his face. You’re a Mactavish. When we get down we get the fuck back up again. He’s always admired his sister. he misses them both so, so, much.
“Do you sometimes ever wonder if this life is really worth it?” Johnny suddenly blurts out. He feels his face immediately start burning. God, that’s embarrassing. “Being in the military, I-I mean.”
He knows that Ghost, out of all people would be the worst person to talk to about feelings. He’s an important person that has more responsibilities to lie his focus on, much less his feelings. Shit, can he take back the words? No, that would be even worse. Can Ghost just ignore him? No, wait, that might be even worse if they just stay in this stupid awkward silence Soap subjected them to-
“All the time.”
Johnny whips his head around so fast he’s sure he has whiplash.
“A-all the time?”
To be honest, Johnny never really thought Ghost has a life outside of the military. He never talks about family, friends or maybe even a girlfriend. He doesn’t like to think of the implications or anything about his past. It just felt invasive and inappropriate to do so, even if they were close. Price had told him one late night, smoke curling lazily behind his ear, with low murmurs and blood shot eyes that Simon has no one left to mourn him. Johnny didn’t ask for the details. He didn’t have any right to.
“Yeah.” He doesn’t elaborate. Johnny doesn’t blame him.
He turns back to staring at the wooden walls deprived of any decoration, not even a small potted plant. He takes a deep inhale and sighs, breathing in the stale air. Fuck it. Whether he wants to hear it or not; Johnny can’t take the pain of awkward silence.
“My mom back home, she…” He wet his lips, thinking for a moment. “She writes to me, sometimes. Tells me every single detail of her day, that old hag.” Johnny chuckles, tracing the gnarly stitch work Ghost had done on him over his shirt. “But that’s just because she doesnt have anything else going on in her life. Which, I mean, it does sound depressing, but she’s in her own little bubble y’know? She goes to her yoga class, book club, she bakes, and she’s just fine with that life.” He looks over at Ghost, who’s now looking right at him, gun hanging loosely from his hands.
Soap thinks it would probably be a nice way to go. If Ghost shot him in the head right now.
“She’s…. Happy. I think. I hope so.”
“Hm.”
Soap scratches at the base of his neck, looking out the window. The grass seemed to stretch on forever, into the horizon. The moon is just a sliver today, peeking over from its shadow, casting a light blue tint over everything. He thinks if he stood on the road and looked straight ahead, it would look something like those pictures they make you stare at when they check for eyesight at the doctor’s, but without the hot air balloon.
A soft click alerts Soap back to reality, watching Ghost place down his gun.
“Let me get dinner.”
He blinks.
“You haven’t eaten?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Soap hears a few pots cutleries clink against one another.
“…was waiting for you.”
And fuck, if that just makes his intensities melt and swirl together. Ghost was waiting for him? He was waiting for Soap to wake up to eat dinner together? Jesus Christ. He manages to crack a smile, and a little too tender “aww, Ghostie.” Gets breathed.
He comes back around to face Soap, handing him his MRE with a plastic fork sticking out of it, stream curling from the packet. He can smell the curry chicken and he almost sobs.
“You got me my favourite?”
“Don’t sound so emotional, Sargent. It just happened to be in my bag.”
Ghost plops down onto the couch and pulls off his mask to scarf down his bag, barely stopping for a breath.
Soap chuckles. “Goddamn animal..” He ignores the way his ears feel hot and his chest feels itchy, just holding the packet in his hands.
He fidgets around with it, letting the heat seep into the palms of his hands, wondering how long it would last, if it would stay there forever, cupped in his skin, his bones. Wonders if he could press it to his chest and the heat would spread throughout his body, into his head. If he ate the food would it warm him from the inside out, would it taste as delicious as how Ghost’s considerations made him feel?
“Jesus Christ just eat the fuckin’ food Johnny, before it gets cold.” Ghost grumbles, speech a bit muffled due to the food in his mouth.
He giggles before picking up the fork, scooping up some of the rice and shoving it in his mouth. He lets out an appreciative hum, scooping up more rice and chicken, stuffing more and more into his mouth.
Eventually, Johnny slides from the armrest to the actual couch cushions, tossing the empty packet onto the table with a content sigh. Ghost had resorted to staring out the window now, arms resting on his knees with his hands clasped together as if deep in thought. The Scot lays his head back on the cushions, closing his eyes for a bit. He doesnt want to disrupt the silent peace they have going on right now.
“Soap.”
“Hmm?”
“Let me check your stitches.”
He opens one eye to look at Ghost.
“Mkay.”
Before he could shift his body towards him though, Ghost already slipped to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of soap’s legs.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“It’s easier this way. I don’t want you to turn any more than you have to. This’ll be quick.” he says, like Soap isn’t currently fighting for the air to go into his lungs at the way he just with no hesitation start to go for the hem of his shirt.
“Jesus, okay! Fine, i can do it myself.” He grumbles, slapping Ghost’s hand away before quickly pulling his shirt off.
Now, it isn’t the first time Ghost has touched him, nor will it be the last. For fuck’s sakes, he was screaming in anguish just less than 25 hours ago, and Ghost was touching him in the exact same spot. But this time, it was different. It wasn’t physical contact for the sake of keeping all his organs intact, it was more out of concern for his safety. It is also a helluva lot more intimate the last few times they’d touched. (Not like he was keeping count) The moonlight hits him from the back of his head, making his brown eyes shine in the dark. He always looked like he was on the verge of tears, Soap noted a long time ago. They were constantly glassy, waterline reddish-pink an eyelashes longer than a damn horse. His pupils always looked intense and scary, black in the sunlight, caramel in the moonlight. Soap’s sweating now, more so that he’s actively pinning Soap under that stare, watching for any painful expression.
As he reached forward, big bastard he is, knocks his knees apart so that he’s more in between his legs than in front of them. Johnny breathes. His ears are definitely red now.
The first touch felt more like a jolt than anything, cold fingertips pressing into his side.
“Fuck, Ghost, you don’t have any blood in ya?” Johnny cracks a nervous smile, trying to lighten the mood. Ghost doesnt reply, eyes now trained on his midriff.
His left hand cups his waist, their contrasting temperatures slowly making its way to even themselves out. Soap can’t help but shiver, Ghost suddenly whipping his hand away like he’d burned him. He blinks, looking up at Johnny.
“Sorry.”
“S’ okay, sir. Just didn’t know you have the touch of an ice princess.”
He slaps his ribs, pretty eyes narrowing as he focuses on his stitches again. His left hand comes back to cup his waist, thumb right above the stitches. His right thumb is below the wound, hand resting on his belly, pinkie on his military-issued shorts.
In all honesty, Johnny’s completely losing it. The touch is like liquid nectar spread across his middle, settling under his ribs and squeezing his lungs. He feels indulgent, gluttony taking in the form of Ghost’s touch. It’s so much more than he’s expected it to be, and he feels a bit light headed. The thumb tracing so, so carefully along the uneven stitches almost feels like it could be mistaken for care, for love. Johnny’s light headed, and his limbs feel heavy like it turned into lead. It felt feather light, and all too special. Like if Soap wasn’t completely honed in on whatever the hell is happening right now, the moment would slip away and he would regret it for the rest of his life. So he savours. He memorises the touch pads of ghost’s fingertips against his skin, the light framing his body, his eyes fixated on the stitches. Fuck, fuck. What Soap would give to feel like this all the time.
In spite of his internal turmoil, Ghost looks up at him, eyelashes fluttering.
“You good?”
Johnny swallows, Ghost’s eyes following the motion.
“Yeah- yeah I’m good.”
please touch me more. please hug me. please cup my face and touch me as gently as you do for my wounds. please take care of me. please care.
Soap’s flushing hot now, he doesn’t need to look in a mirror to know. Ghost’s eyes hone in on him, pupils trained onto his body for what, soap doesnt even know. He tries to look as normal as possible with your CO’s hands on him so warm, so gently, like he belongs there.
Whatever Ghost is looking for, he finds as he sighs softly, letting his hands drop and now resting on his hips.
God fucking damn it Ghost is driving him crazy
“You got any siblings?” His hands absentmindedly squeeze him, and Soap mentally checks out. He’s done. He’s actually dying. This is heaven. Or hell. Either way, he doesn’t ever want to leave.
“Two sisters.” He manages to squeeze out as much as he can without his body moving. He’s tuned in with every nerve, so, so scared that if he moves Ghost will take away his hands.
“Youngest?”
“Mhm.”
“Can tell.”
“Haud yer wheest.” He grumbles, looking at anywhere but Ghost. Why hasn’t he moved yet?
“Tell me about them.”
Johnny scrambles for any kind of information on his sisters to tell him.
“Well- uh. Marjorie is my oldest. Uh- oldest sister. She hates her name. Has a bubbling little husband little ways from our home. Lovely guy, has no backbone. Honestly could not tell you how he managed to bag my sister. He even says it’s a miracle, heh.” The more he talks, the more he relaxes. “Middle sister, Gwyneth, she.. uh. She has a little rascal running around at home. Little runt, that kid. Fuckin’ love her.”
“Sounds like your mom has a knack for naming her kids.”
“Yeah right, imagine a Marjorie, Gwyneth and then just John.” He shakes his head, chuckling softly. “Lame name.”
“It’s a okay name.”
“Ghost, i can literally name you 10 guys I’ve met with the same name as me. Our captain is named John.”
“Yeah you’re right there. John is a shit name.”
“Shut up!” Johnny giggles, raising his hand as if he was gonna hit Ghost.
“It’s better than Simon.”
A pause. “What’s wrong wit Simon? Right bonnie name, there.”
Even with the darkness, Johnny can feel Ghost’s eyebrow raising.
“Am’ serious! Simon…. Yeah, it’s a good name. Solid.”
He huffs, as if not believing it, one of his thumbs tracing patterns absentmindedly on the soft part of his midriff .
“Who wouldn’t love a Simon in their life, hm?” Soap hums, tapping the cheekbone of Simon’s mask with a finger.
“Simon.” He whispers again, just for good measure, and Ghost looks up at him, eyes shining so, so brightly. He looks almost wistful, hopeful if he looks too much into it. The hands at his hips squeeze.
Fuck.
“Simon.”
I love you.
I love you so much I can’t bear it sometimes.
Johnny says nothing else.
“We should probably go sleep now. We have to get up in less than 5 hours.” He whispers.
Ghost hums an agreement, but neither of them move for a long time.
“Okay.” Ghost mumbles, breaking the spell first. He climbs up to his feet and looks down at johnny one last time, hooking an index finger to his chin. “I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?” Johnny can feel the rumble deep in his chest. He doesn’t reply, only nods as he watches Ghost disappear down the hallway.
Once he’s out of sight, Soap buries his face in his hands and groans softly. God, his whole body is alight. How’s he ever gonna sleep now? How’s he going to move on with his life knowing how ghost’s hands felt on his waist, his hips, his chin? His face feels hot, and he scratches at his chest, wringing his shirt he picked up in his hands nervously.
He lays his head back, staring at the water stains on the ceiling.
He’s fucked.
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legomonkiefics · 3 days
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💚🐍 At the Edge of The World — Xiangliu x GN Reader Drabble 🐍💚
Genres: Romance || S5 Spoilers || They/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed
@icelordofwinterandwendigos
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚。⋆୨🐍୧⋆˚。⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . Finally. After all the work, the waiting, and the final battle, Xiangliu could finally return to where he belonged. The Chaos. The driving force that stood to give him the freedom he so sought. Though it might not have unfolded exactly as he had planned, he was filled with contentment as he looked over the swirling mass of dark clouds, finding comfort in the golden sparks among them. Just one more step, and he could be free. He stood beside the Harbinger of Chaos, looking out at the sea of restlessness. The Harbinger was tense, anxious at the sight. He took a few steps away from the edge of it all. "Is that..?"
"The edge of the chaos" Xiangliu replied, sighing softly "I've been gone a long time". "What does that mean?" The Harbinger asked, turning to Xiangliu. "It means he's winning" Xiangliu responded, taking a step closer to the edge. "Winning? Who's-" the Harbinger began, Xiangliu cutting him off "Good luck, MK. You, and whatever's left, you'll need it". As MK tried to process the words, Xiangliu looked at the mass that awaited him. This was everything he had wanted, all he had hoped to accomplish. But he felt... empty.
Depsite what his goals were, he had gotten closer to you. He'd allowed you to see his vision, hoping to inspire another. After your willingness to listen, he became attached. Spending time with you helped make him feel less on edge about what was to come. You helped keep his hopes up that this was going to work, that he could finally be free. And yet... it didn't feel the same without you here. After all the time you two had spent together, the planning and the confiding, he kept focused on his one goal. He didn't expect that achieving everything he'd wanted would leave him so profoundly lonely. This should be enough, right? It has to be.
But it wasn't. And Xiangliu could sense that. This wasn't enough anymore. He turned back, looking at the wide pillars of the temple they were in. He began stepping towards the staircase. "Hey-! Wait!!" MK began, rushing to catch up "What do you mean?! Where are you going?! Who is 'he'?!?". Xiangliu chuckled, looking up at the white void surrounding the building. "I've got one little gem I need before I can truly be at rest" he said simply. He turned to the Harbinger, his cape billowing a little as he did so. "As for you... you just opened the cage" Xiangliu began, black bolts of energy crackling around his form. "Wait what do you-" MK began, before Xiangliu grabbed hold of the hero, pushing the two out with a shot of energy.
They landed on the outside, MK flopping hard on the ground. The other heroes rushed to help him up, and Xiangliu glided past them. "Kid!" Pigsy cried, helping his son sit up. "I'm alright-" MK begean, before immediately being wrapped in a tight group hug. He sighed softly, leaning into their arms. This was safe. They were safe now. He peeked an eye open to see where Xiangliu was. His golden slits had softened to wider pupils, and he approached you directly. He went a few feet past the group, greeting you with the soft smile you had come to know better than anyone. He kneeled down, extending a hand to you "Come with me. Let us go home together. We can finally be free"
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brooklynn3253 · 2 days
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Fractured Moments
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Bucky Barnes paced the dimly lit streets of Brooklyn, the cool autumn air brushing against his skin like a soothing balm. He could still feel the sting of the argument that had pierced the heart of his relationship. His fists were clenched, not out of anger but rather an insistent need to keep his emotions in check. His girlfriend, Sadie, had always been his anchor, and now – now he had somehow let them drift apart with reckless words.
Earlier that evening, they had been sitting in their cozy apartment, the aroma of tonight’s dinner lingering. What was meant to be a quiet night had spiraled into chaos. A seemingly harmless discussion about their future had turned sour as old wounds reopened. Bucky, still grappling with the shadows of his past, had reacted to her concerns with pointed remarks, hurting Sadie deeply.
“Do you ever listen to yourself?” she had shouted, tears glistening in her eyes. The pain in her voice had pierced through him like a bullet to the chest.
“I just want to keep you safe,” he had replied, his voice low but filled with an intensity that might have intimidate others. “I don’t want this life for you. Not with me.”
“It’s my choice, Bucky!” she had screamed, her voice echoing against the bare walls, the words sharp enough to cut through the air.
And in a moment of pure frustration, Bucky had stormed out, needing space to breathe, not realizing the impact of his departure.
As he roamed the streets, the city lights twinkled like distant stars against the backdrop of his guilt. With every step away from their home, the weight of regret pressed heavier upon his shoulders. How had he allowed the past to overshadow the possibility of a future with Sadie? Memories from his wartime experience crept into his mind, shadows of battles fought and people lost. He could still feel the cold grip of remorse.
After what felt like hours of aimless wandering, Bucky found himself standing on the waterfront, overlooking the glistening waves of the river. The rhythmic sound of water crashing against the shore brought a sense of calm, but deep down, a longing tugged at him. Sadie was everything he had ever wanted; she was the light in his dark world. He closed his eyes, replaying their argument, questioning why he had let his demons dictate his choices.
With the weight of indecision still heavy in his mind, he shoved his hands into his pockets and turned back toward their apartment. Each step felt longer than the last. The return journey, while necessary, was also laced with the fear of what awaited him. Would Sadie still be there? Would he be able to comfort her? Or had he created a rift that would prove insurmountable?
As he reached their building and ascended the stairs, the sounds of the city faded away, replaced by the rapid beating of his heart. He fished out his key, hesitating for just a moment before pushing the door open. The sight that met him was one he had dreaded. Sadie sat curled up on the sofa, her red rimmed eyes flooded with tears. The warmth that once enveloped their home felt cold and desolate.
“Sadie…” he began, his voice cautious, but the plea hung heavy in the air.
She turned her gaze to him, the hurt written all over her face. “You came back,” she replied, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Bucky stepped closer, his heart aching at the sight of her emotional turmoil. He knelt down in front of her, searching for the right words to heal the still fresh wound he had inflicted. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice breaking, honesty pouring out. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. You have every right to be scared or concerned. You’re not choosing a life of danger—I am.”
She sniffled, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, and he saw the turmoil reflected in her eyes. He reached forward, his hand gently touching her knee, offering connection that he desperately wanted her to accept.
“I don’t want you to feel alone in this,” he continued gently. “I don’t want to push you away. Let me be a part of your life, Sadie. Please. We can face whatever comes together.”
“But you never let me in, Bucky,” she choked out, the pain of the truth resonating between them. “You act like I can’t handle your past, like it’ll ruin me. I’m here, I want to help you, but you keep pushing me away.”
He exhaled shakily, memories of dark times creeping into his mind. He fought against the urge to close off, to resign everything to solitude. “I’ve lost so many people I care about,” he confessed, his voice trembling. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you too. It’s not that I think you can’t handle it. I just... I don’t know how to navigate it.”
A moment of silence passed between them, an unspoken understanding. Bucky could see the hurt in her eyes, but in that moment, he also saw her strength.
“Bucky,” she said softly, reaching for his hand. “I love you, but you have to let me in. Let me be your partner, not just a spectator.”
His heart swelled. Tentatively, he intertwined their fingers, feeling warmth spread through him. “I love you too,” he whispered, the words laden with both sorrow and hope.
With a deep breath, she smiled through her tears. “I want to fight the demons together, Bucky. You don’t have to face this alone.”
And in that moment, as they sat together on the worn-out couch, hands clasped tightly, Bucky knew they could begin to mend the fractures in their hearts. Together.
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dutybcrne · 3 months
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Love the idea of Alhaitham being a sleepy drunk
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skoulsons · 2 years
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Thinking about winter and their physical affection and now literally none of these happen under happy circumstances.
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milkbreadtoast · 3 months
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random but I've been thinking about it for a while and decided to update pronouns in my bio (they/he instead of just they/them)... main reason is i've been "accidentally" called he a few times and was like hey.. this doesnt feel too bad actually🤔 testing it out...
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kimbapisnotsushi · 1 year
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i'm just. thinking about how kuroo told kenma that the setter didn't have to move around much to get kenma to play setter. and i'm thinking about how that was such a blatant lie. how we already knew. how the narration TOLD us that. but kuroo built a team where kenma wouldn't have to move anyways. he built a team AROUND kenma. he built a team for kenma's sake and comfort because he wanted to keep playing with kenma. and i'm not saying that he was begging desperately for kenma to stay, or that he didn't care about the rest of the team beyond what they could do for kenma (because of course he did!!), but what i AM trying to say is that. kuroo really REALLY cherishes the people who are an essential part of his life. and he'll do EVERYTHING he can to get them to stay.
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