Scars (part 1)
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Has: bar setting, panic attack
James and his family belongs to @starliight-whump
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"I'm sorry, I really need to go to the bathroom. Will you be okay, or …"
"I'll be fine." James hoped his smile looked reassuring rather than strained. "Go."
"I'll be right back."
James held onto his glass with both hands as he watched his sister walk across the room, her dark curls bouncing past her shoulders.
When they arrived, it had still been early in the evening. The bar had been sparsely crowded, easy enough to keep track of. But now, the bar was filling up, and James hadn't realized how much until Julia was gone. He stared down at his water and counted his breaths as he waited for her to return.
"Is this seat taken?"
James startled when a man slid in next to him. He was wearing a sheer black top under a leather jacket, black smudged eyeliner, and several piercings in his ears and left eyebrow.
"Um," James said, his mouth dry. Once upon a time that might have been because he wanted the interaction to go well, to lead somewhere. Now, it was nothing but fear.
"Can I buy you a drink?" the man asked, gesturing to James's glass. "After you finish that one?"
No. James was not going to take a drink from a stranger and he was not going to finish this one. He was going to wait for Julia to come back, and then they were going to leave.
The man frowned. "Are you okay?"
James saw the hand move out of the corner of his eye, and pushed to his feet. He had to leave.
He took two steps before he was stopped by a wall of bodies. He couldn't push through. He couldn't get out. He stood there, paralyzed, and then he felt an arm behind his back.
"Come on," the man said, and started leading James through the crowd.
Where were they going? James couldn't think straight, couldn't stop or protest. Julia wouldn't know where he was. His phone was in his jacket - which he had left at the table. How could he be so stupid? And now he had no way to let anyone know what was happening. And he was just letting it happen, going where this man guided him without even trying to get away. He deserved it, whatever happened tonight. It was his own fault, for not fighting back. For going out in the first place.
A door opened and cool air hit his face. A line had formed outside the bar, and James should ask the bouncer for help.
"Come on," the man said, taking James a few steps away from the line. "Are you okay? What's your name?"
James tried to speak, but he couldn't make a sound around the lump of fear in his throat.
"Here," the man said, and shoved James's jacket into his hands. James hadn't even noticed him taking it. "Do you have a phone? Someone to call?"
James managed a nod. He had to call Julia. But his hands were shaking, and the man was standing so close, he couldn't make himself move.
"Is everything okay?" a new voice said. A woman. James jerked his face to the side to see a short woman with pink hair and a black dress coming toward them.
The man nodded. "Just a lot of people in there," he said, and turned back to James. "Look, this is Hanae, she's my least scary friend. Do you want her to stay with you while you call someone? I can go back inside, but I don't think you should be alone right now."
Hanae did look less scary than the man. James managed a nod, and she came to stand with him while the man went back inside. James's hands still shook, but he managed to open his phone and call Julia on speed dial, begging her to take him home.
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see, as mira's #1 fan I think I should be very pumped to see her again this chapter...and I am but... while everyone is going insane over whether gun or johan's gonna die or johan's ending or whatever, I'm over here feeling underwhelmed by mira's reappearance and her reuniting with johan. i imagined it being more grandiose... and you know... mira getting more than 2 panels? especially with how traumatic their last time together was for BOTH JOHAN AND MIRA.
but alas, every scene mira is in has to be about a man in her life. if not zack then johan. I have accepted that mira is just not important to the plot on her own and I should stop dreaming of the day PTJ gives her depth (lies, I will continue to imagine her in the most poetic lookism spin-off about her and other lookism girls)
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Hiii! Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers (sorry if you have received this already feel free to skip it if so! ❤️)
...do I HAVE TO??? I mean...I suppose I could. I'll admit, this will be hard for me probably. (Mira's note: yes. this was hard. it took me over an hr to do this.)
1. I like my eyes. Big, wet, sad, puppy eyes. Sometimes they look a little crazy, but I can live with that i guess.
2. I'm rather pleased with myself that I have a spiritual path that is unique to me. It's a huge part of my identity, and I have fought hard for that.
3. Not to be...uhm...crass...but I really like my t*ts. Honestly, they are annoying sometimes, but damn they are nice. And free. they were free. (thanks, genetics).
4. I like my ability to help people. Especially when it has to do with spiritual stuff. It's why I really enjoy tarot, and why I would love to do Reiki some day.
5. Is this weird to say? Maybe...but I like that I am Demisexual! Not that i didn't like it before, but i just didn't know that was an aspect of myself. I simply didn't know that was a thing with me. I know I don't have to slap a label on myself to make it valid, but it's just nice to know that there is a something that is out there in the world that defines a part of my identity. It's kinda neat.
I guess the takeaway from this is that my individuality and identity are so important to me. I was forced into being a trad-wife (not a bad thing...just not for me,) when I am more of a free spirit. I didn't get to have an identity that was separate from my kids or my (almost ex) husband. So, finding all the words and phrases that make sense to me, that help me figure out who me actually is...it's really important to me.
Thank you so much, @senualothbrok for encouraging me to do this. I almost didn't...b/c truthfully, I don't really like myself. I'm learning.
Thanks for helping me grow ^^
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Colonel Matthias Jung
31 years old Jung grew up in Northern Amestris and entered the military academy at the age of sixteen. After his graduation, he got transferred to Fort Briggs, where he began his career with zeal. Because of his efficiency and intellect, he caught the attention of Briggs' current commanding officer quickly, who then pushed his growth.
Jung is a rational and calculating man who prizes discipline and obedience. He takes great pride in his station at Briggs and joined the military for two reasons: To serve his country and to shape it. His subordinates value Jung for his strong-will and his visions and he has a huge following of Briggs soldiers that stand behind him. Loyalties that are keen on helping him in taking on the position of Briggs' commanding officer, as the current General is close to his retirement.
To his rivals and others that seem to endanger his plan, Jung is cold and merciless. After all "Survival of the fittest" is the law of Briggs for a reason and Jung learned to take this law literal. If he sees use in someone, he makes sure to understand their interest and to create a positive view of himself in their understanding. All to play the cards given to him with all their potential.
Jung’s plan on taking on Briggs command seems flawless and inevitable, despite his rival, who also seeks to get to Briggs' highest position. In his eyes, Armstrong is simply too young and severely lacks important characteristics of a leader. Nevertheless, he looks vary at those two men who newly arrived at the Fort with Armstrong. While Jung doesn't understand the purpose of bringing the grey haired man to the Fort, he knows that there is something more to him. Something he can't yet quite name. But the young doctor who also came along could prove useful for his visions.
In the end, only the strong shall survive and Jung will do anything to be part of the new future.
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