#// you were warned

[elvensorceress]

sunday snippet

I meant to have this fic done ages ago but it's now somehow three times as long as it was, I've rewritten it five times, and I'm still working on it 🫠 oh well. have a snippet from snickerdoodles.

@tizniz @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @kejfeblintz @smilingbuckley @sofa-king-lame @chaosandwolves @smilingbuckley @belasmalhotra @bekkachaos @blutterlie @sazanahashi @livinginsunnyhell @epicbuddieficrecs @sparklespiff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @dangerpronebuddie continued from Wednesday

Eddie tries again, but still sounds rough and hollowed out. “I don’t want to drag you down. Okay? You should move on and forget me and— and it’ll be better.”

Not so much for Eddie. He’s never let go of anything in his life. It’s all there hiding under the surface, stuffed in cages. But Buck should move on. Buck should survive him. 

Is this their only future? It feels like losing everything. Eddie is losing everything. He’s kidding himself if he thinks he hasn’t already lost Chris. What if Eddie doesn’t survive this time? What will happen to everyone he loves? Everyone who loves him?

Does anyone love him? Does he mean anything to anyone? Has he ever meant anything?

“Forget— I should forget you?” Buck snaps, his anger un-contained fire now, not just a hint of smoldering kindling. Vicious, spitting, sparking, living flames that will turn everything to ashes. 

Maybe they should actually fight and say awful things and then it would be easier to walk away. 

Eddie’s not sure he could even manage that right now. There’s nothing left in him. No fight, no fire. It’s all shattered, scattered pieces. But he would try. If Buck needs that. 

He might need that. He snaps again, “Like you’re a pair of socks that disappeared in the laundry? Or something I meant to pick up at the store and spaced? Like it’s easy? Like you’re nothing? Like this? Us? You and me? Means nothing?”

Okay, when he puts it that way… it sounds dumb. But how else can Eddie stop hurting him? “No,” Eddie says. Not fiery, not loud, not anything. “No. Just. Something that doesn’t—”

“You're my best friend. You— you’re— I’ll let you go. Okay. Whatever. I’ll do that because I know you and I know you need Chris and I get it. I wouldn’t want you to do anything but love him exactly the way you do. But I won’t, will not and can not pretend that you aren’t my best friend and my partner and the person I love more than anything. All right? I’m not going to do that. I’ve spend years—literal— almost a whole decade of years loving you more than anything. I’m not going to just forget that or forget you. I’m not throwing that way. I’m not ever going to lie and say otherwise. This is not a ‘move on and grow out of it’ scenario. I love you more than anything in the world. Okay? You told me I wasn’t expendable and I had to deal with that so you have to deal with this. You mean everything to me and I love you, and that isn’t going to change even when you leave.”

“—hurt you,” Eddie finishes. It doesn’t really sound finished now. He says it because he was already saying it. 

But that the fuck does he say now? 

Eddie doesn’t usually think of himself as small, quiet, or fragile. But he feels like that now. His feeble words sound like it even in his own ears. Small. Inconsequential. Torn apart.

Buck steps back toward him. Not enough that they’re touching, but enough that they’re closer. “Hurt me. Drag me down. I don’t care.”

Eddie recoils. No. No, he hates that idea. He is not doing that. Not intentionally. Not. What the fuck. 

He knows he said the words. He said them because his mother said them and they stuck and haven’t left his head or his heart and it’s all he does. Ruin people he loves. 

Buck shakes his head. “Be in the way. Burden me. Share whatever weight you’re carrying. Be something that stays even if you’re not here. Be part of my life even if it hurts. I don’t care if it hurts, I need you to be something to me. Having nothing of you would be a hundred, thousand, million times worse. I am in this with you. I always have been. Don’t shut me out just to spare me. If you’re facing the fire, I want to be right there with you. Please don’t make me lose everything of you. Please don’t— please. Don’t pretend this is nothing. I can take you leaving, I can’t take this,” he motions between them, “meaning nothing.”

Eddie stares and doesn’t move. And stares harder like it will help him understand. 

He knows he’s breathing still because there’s air. 

Maybe he’s not breathing. But something is making air flow in and out of his body. Like rescue breaths? Supplemental oxygen? It’s not Eddie doing it, he’s not taking in air, but it happens anyway. 

He doesn’t understand. Maybe he never has. Maybe his brain stopped processing information when he stopped breathing because the brain can’t function without oxygen. Something like that. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t. 

Buck wants something of him even after everything? After all the people who have walked out on him and treated him like he doesn’t matter? Even with how Eddie fails and hurts people who care about him? He means something to Buck? Even though he’s hurting him and abandoning him and losing him? Eddie’s just another person who leaves him. He can’t hurt Buck. He can’t keep doing it. Buck doesn’t deserve this. And Eddie deserves no loyalty, no forgiveness. 

He doesn’t deserve anyone’s love. Not in any form. He shouldn’t have it. He’s never had it. 

“I don’t—” Eddie tries to say. He has to say. He has to make the words come out. “I don’t want to hurt you the way Abby hurt you. I don’t want to do that.” 

Buck shakes his head again and starts to say something.

Eddie beats him to it. “I know it’s not the same. I know I’m not— I know you don’t— It’s different. Still. I know how she hurt you, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t know how to not do that. I’m leaving you here. In my house. Just like she did when she left you. And I have to—” Do the same fucking thing? Give him up? Walk away? Destroy everything they made together? And maybe the only way to survive is to do what Eddie does best and ruin everything? 

He looks back at Buck and doesn’t mean to say it. He wasn’t going to say anything. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He should be mean and nasty and he should tell Buck he means nothing, this means nothing, and then Buck can just be justifiably angry and hate Eddie properly. 

And it would spare him. Whatever pain and tragedy that is associated with being near Eddie. It would spare Buck. 

That’s what he should do. 

That would be mercy and kindness. Pick up the weapon and blow this all to hell. 

Eddie can’t breathe. He can’t do this. Any of it. 

He can’t let go. He can’t lose Buck. 

And then he’s suddenly confessing, “I don’t want to do this."

It’s too late. It’s always too late. And what he actually wants has never mattered. He doesn’t matter. He never has. He twists his hands together and has nothing else to hold onto. It’s too late, so none of this matters. Eddie doesn’t matter. But he meets Buck’s lost gaze, stares into his eyes for three seconds, and he can’t keep it in.

“I want to be with Chris. I miss him so much. Every minute of every day. But I don't want to leave here. I don't want this. But it doesn't matter what I want. It never has. The one time I said, 'What about me? Why didn't you think of me?' Chris left. He left because I hurt him. And my dad says, ‘don’t wait thirty years to listen to your son.’ So I listen. I don’t know what the hell else to do. I listen, and I do what all of them ask. Even when it’s the last thing I want and I’ve already said, no, please stop, I need more time, please hear me. They don’t listen to me. I’m still nothing to every single one of them. And I just keep thinking why don’t I ever count? Why don’t I matter even a little bit?

"You think you aren't everything to me, too? Do you think that I don't love you just as much as you love me? But I don’t get to pick you. I don’t get to have anything of you. I hurt everyone I try to love including you and Chris. I’m not enough for anyone, in any way. I can’t love anyone the way they need or the way I’m supposed to. You say you’re defective parts, well I’m fucking broken.

"That’s why you should forget me. I don’t matter. You shouldn’t care. I should mean nothing because I am nothing. I’m not worth this. If I were a better, stronger person, I’d make you hate me. But I can’t even do that. I don’t want to hurt you more. I have to lose you and I don’t know how to lose you. I love you more than anything and it’s not enough. I don’t know what else to do but say, you should move on and forget me.”

Eddie turns away and covers his face, tries to hold his head because it’s aching. It’s too much. That was too much. He’s not supposed to be falling apart. Everything is supposed to be getting better. 

Shards of ice crack and fracture and break underneath him. Everything in the cage around his ribs snaps and he’s crying into his hands, trying to keep it together. Trying and failing. Always failing. His face is already wet. He was already broken. A long time ago. So many times. 

Buck is suddenly behind him. Not distant. Close behind him. He touches Eddie’s back gently and then steps around until he’s standing in front of him. He reaches between them and rests his hand on Eddie’s chest. As if he can stop the never-ending bleeding that’s somehow always pouring from Eddie’s heart. “You are enough, Eddie. You’re more than enough."

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

[socialjusticeinamerica]

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

Me and the girls walking down the witches’ road (plural possessive) with our shoes off

[quinloki]

....

So, I'm going to start this off with - Fuck My Brain, because this traitorous little cunt just came up with the most horrifically heart wrenching thing I think I've ever thought and I have no excuse for it.

But

So

What if Sabo had been rescued by Garp? (Or if you don't think Garp was that deep into Marine ideology, pick a different marine).

But he's still got no memory, and now he's being raised as a marine.

Who ends up a Marineford.

Who remembers who he was-

-after beheading Ace.

...

So he's standing there, blood everywhere, eyes locked with Luffy's, as realization sinks into both of them. Luffy realizes it's Sabo, Sabo realizes it's Luffy, and what he just did.

This absolutely cruel thought was brought to you by thinking how my heart breaks for Sabo if I think about things too much and then I saw art of him in what looked like a Marine Captain uniform. And my ruthless brain just went from there.

[dancingwiththefae]

I’ve only known Halsin a hot minute but I feel like he would lie with me in a field weave flowers through my hair and then destroy my pussy

[respectthepetty]

All's I know is Playboyy drops next month, and I will be watching it partially for the plot, but mainly for the depiction of sex.

A lot of sex.

For money.

For pleasure.

For the mere sake of having it.

"The series about relationships of 'human' through various definitions of sex . . . the series about relationships that presents 'sex' EXPLICITLY" 18+

We have a whole ass man with a whole ass tattoo that reads "Play With Me" so . . .

Treat this like an AO3 tag and act accordingly instead of making that damn Pikachu face all season.

Amen.

[omorialone]

You can’t stop me

I’ll pat you whither you like it or not

I’m immune to be bitten

[animatronic-assistant]

No, they absolutely deserve nothing. *pops a few of the bloodbags and disappears*

She takes her kitchen knife and stabs you through the hand before you can disappear. She is not playing.

[voices-of-favor]

If you are reading this first, theres Night Lords trilogy spoilers ahead, so make sure to scroll faster than you can read if you havent seen it yet

Anyway

Somehow, the evil murder machines are breaking my heart

Bruh, respectfully

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

[infinitegeli]

I’m going in. like to see me dead in the woods

[talesfromcordonia]

The Billionaire's Baby is over

I'm going to be rude AF and angry as hell under the cut

Fuck this book. Fuck the people that wrote this book and the fucking trash this book is. Fuck every person at PB that this book went through to get a release.

It makes me so angry, there is NOTHING redeeming about this book. It's a dumpster fire that pushed out the carbon that destroyed the human race.

FUCK THIS BOOK, SEND IT TO HELL.

[decaflondonfog]

the reason why jackie/shauna is so bloody compelling is that it’s built on the same foundations of unwavering love and devotion as every other homoerotic teenage friendship

shauna’s entire existence is wrapped in jackie’s like:

i want you. i want what you have. i want you. i don’t know who i am without you. i want you. i wish my life was more like yours. i want you. your hair is so pretty— can i touch it? i want you. i don’t let anyone else dictate what i do but i have shaped myself entirely around you. i want you. why can’t i be more like you? i want you. i wish i was you. i want you. i wish we were one person. i want you. i don’t want you to be happy unless i’m the reason why. i want you. why can’t we share everything? i want you. i don’t know where you end and i begin. i want you. i’m not supposed to. i want you. you’re my best friend. i want you. i know you never will. i want you. i’ll never admit that the you in my head is better than the real you. i want you. i don’t want to share you. i want you. i will have you in every way i can. i want you. it’s my fault. i want you. it should have been me. i want you. i will have you. i want you. i can’t let go. i want you. i will sink my teeth into your skin. i want you. you will always be a part of me. i want you. i must be the one to have the first bite. i want you. i love you. i want you. i love you. i want you. i love you.

[geekalogian]

How am I supposed to be normal about this

[candont]

It's Friday somewhere