#// how long can I keep the funny going before he's forced to do it..... we'll see

[noisester]

@gildead: 📝 where's my fucking griddy, the odor.

Verrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy casually returns the note with a pile of NTV adverts and schedule leaflets. Watch his shows first, stinky.

[remi-thirsts]

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?

pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.

"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.

"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.

"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,

"What is your favorite position?"

Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.

"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"

"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.

"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.

Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.

"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.

"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'

"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.

"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."

"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.

"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.

-----

You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.

When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.

He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.

♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.

"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.

"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."

That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.

It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.

"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.

"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.

"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.

Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.

"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.

"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.

"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.

The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.

"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.

"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.

"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.

"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."

♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.

A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.

Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.

The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.

"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.

"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"

Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."

More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.

divider: @/plutism

[selineram3421]

*has a little idea* I've gotta listen to brain commands.

First Day

Alastor and Child Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ implied murder, mention of kidnapping, mention of heart attack, shake of head=no, fake crying lol, italic red=Alastor's thoughts ⚠

Alastor didn't understand why some demons worried over the little children that ran amuck in Hell.

That is until he adopted one himself.

Small, wide eyed, and frail looking. Of course he'd worry after a glance. But after seeing the pile of dead bodies beneath their feet, it seemed like there wasn't too much to worry about.

So all he had to do was teach them how to make others fear them. Especially after the whole kidnapping fiasco with Valentino.

And what better timing than their first day of school.

.

You were playing around in the hotel.

Most of it was following Husk around and scaring the other hotel guests. But then Charlie told Alastor the number of complaints from guests about you and your pranks.

"They are absolutely harmless! What's a little scare going to do?", the deer demon said.

"Someone had a heart attack.", Vaggie piped in.

"Nuh-uh!", you popped up out of nowhere, making the two females jump in surprise. "That frog demon croaked! He's just mad that I made him make a funny sound."

The blonde sighs before holding out a flyer to the red dressed demon.

"Look, I know you're just having fun but not all demons think its funny.", she tells you before looking at Alastor. "There's a school for demon children not too far from the hotel, maybe they can meet demons their age and make friends?"

After dinner you and Alastor sat down on the couch in the hotel room and read through the flyer.

"I don't want to go.", you pouted.

"Don't worry my little terror, we'll think of something.", he booped your nose. "Perhaps we can use this as training!"

"Training?", you repeated.

"Yes! We'll use this as an opportunity!", Alastor said as he stood from the couch, turning to hold out a hand for you to take. "Come little one, there's much I have to teach you."

.

"Remember what I taught you little one!", Alastor says, fixing their coat. "Anything can be a weapon..."

"With enough force and creativity!", they said confidently.

"Correct!", his smile brightened. "Now, let's go show the ladies that you are a proper demon with manners so they feel bad for sending you out. Remember to look sad."

"Hmhmm!", the nod again before taking a deep breath, putting on their sad face and looking down at the floor.

"Perfect.", he approved before leading them by the hand down to the lobby.

Both of the girls were waiting by the entrance doors to say their goodbyes to the little demon.

"We are ready!", Alastor announces.

"Hey! We got them a-", Charlie starts before noticing the little demon's sad face. "..lunch box."

Vaggie squints at them but doesn't say anything.

Though the Radio Demon can see that his little one's sad face is affecting her as well, the moth demon clenching her fists.

"Now, what do we say mon petit?", the deer demon pats their back.

"I'm..", they say but don't look up yet. "I'm sorry for being bad and I'll go to school so..", finally they look up at the girls with little tears starting to well up. "Please don't be mad anymore."

Charlie is obviously affected the most and looks over at her partner, receiving a shake of the head from the white haired demon in response.

The princess takes a breath before handing over the lunch box to the little demon. "Its only for a little bit, alright?"

"Ok..", they say, still keeping up with the act before turning to face him. "Bye Alastor."

"It won't be for long, don't worry.", he 'reassures' them. "I'll pick you up when school is out."

They nod before hugging his side.

He pats them on the head before waving them goodbye as they walk out of the hotel and to the school bus.

Bidding the ladies adieu, Alastor lets his smile widen after turning away from the two, wondering how his little demon will cause chaos.

I can't wait to hear all about it~

*wipes away tears after typing out the fake crying* I was that child huh.

~Seline, the person.

Part 2

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @kiraisastay @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @ducky-died-inside @biromanticboba @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[starberry-cupcake]

Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:

so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand

which is never straightforward

that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes

we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it

so get ready for bad math

this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep

I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best

SO

the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated

the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out

ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket

I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication

because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened

harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks

let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it

the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules

so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue

and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue

so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue

I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together

all of this is relative, since time in space is ????

but I need to do this for my own peace of mind

if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?

I need to organize things

I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it

this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time

here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip

this is ortus

if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by

harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"

the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about

like a ghost or whatnot

she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged

ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it

so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable

[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit

don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category

and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them

argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help

side note done]

so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people

she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people

whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean

we're here for you

and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you

I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk

so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship

she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't

she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot

WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

I mean, it's not great that she's suffering

but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL

more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive

I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon

it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss

but with an inanimate object

I'm really liking that dynamic

is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other

ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there

just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think

not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh

not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way

I don't know about this guy tbh

so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us

also, another day without camilla

I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...

[amoransia]

Really late, but here's my ekuoto chapter 70 commentary. Nothing special, just me freaking out. You know. The usual.

Watch out for spoilers!

Dante got a very special dialogue balloon with "..." in it. Which is curious to me. I'm sure it means some sort of reflection or surprise happening within him; I really want to what he's thinking. How do you feel? Knowing that the that child you were entrusted can't even bear to be awake anymore? That he runs to escapism? Must suck. Anyway.

On the other hand, dearest Daniel is real composed. Good job on getting info out of Belphegor. That's not really a high bar, though lmao... I mean, how are you a demon and can't LIE? Embarrassing... Go back to demon high school or something. Fall from grace again! The whole premise of your existence is being a lying thing that leads people to sin, and you're here having communication issues??? Dude. That's so moe.

Everyone thinking Belph's got something up his sleeve is fucking hilarious. No. Sorry. He's not Kira or anything like that. It's not all according to his "keikaku". He's just kinda dumb and suffers from Villain Monologue Syndrome...

Him saying "my witch", though... ough! (takes critical hit)

Really funny how he showed him off sleeping and everything. Why are you bragging? Is this something to show off? I guess it is for you... I'd be embarrassed if all my coworkers suddenly saw me sleeping on a plasma 100" inch TV, though. Maybe have a little consideration! Also, I don't think anyone's mentioned this before, but I think it's a cool detail that Priest's in a fetal position. Not only does this position bring one comfort, but it can also represent how he's about to be "reborn" as a witch of Sloth. The sphere he's sleeping in can kinda be a uterus, right?

Belphegor and Mikhail replying to each other while Leah was suffering out of confusion was funny. She got the straight man role forced onto her. Miha's "I see!" was cute. Very casual, as if he wasn't talking to a Demon Lord lol. To be fair, Bel is not really intimidating.

Meanwhile, Vir is busy trying to lead his shounen manga team to victory... (or not really.) They'll definitely get some piece of Belphegor though. I wonder what it'll be... he doesn't have anything like Asmodeus' eyes sticking out, so this is a mystery to me.

Me when I get excited about an interest of mine and end up yapping too much

Dante and Vergilius are heading to the same place, so they'll meet up again... I'm looking forward to the mess that comes out of that 👀.

Imuri needs to step up her game, or I'll be taking matters into my own hands because this is ridiculous. Femme Fatale? Wtf are you talking about. Fraudmuri. The Demon Lord of Fraud. Her true title.

Her biggest crime so far is being more in love with the idea of being in love with Priest than actually caring for him. Does that make sense? So far, she hasn't done any effort in actually coming to know him. She needs to KNOW!!!! At least I can respect that she also takes male rivals seriously... and her aggressiveness towards them. Lole.

She doesn't call Priest "sleepyhead" in the JP raws. I don't really mind the addition, but I thought it was worth noting here anyway. Makes it cute.

"It'll be over soon" Naw bro Imuri is coming at you with a fucking sledgehammer. Watch out.

Tiny Imuri is so fawking cute. I've been craving these Imuri flashbacks for forever because we know virtually nothing about her. What moves her. Why does she long to love!! We'll know in due time, I guess. But please show me a bit of it, Aruma-sensei...

Asmodeus being considerate enough to make sexual things vague to Imuri is nice, but it confuses me a bit. Well. I shan't dwell on it, lest my head blows up.

Imuri seems to have some complex about being a demon with no demon power, because she keeps asserting that she is a demon? Am I explaining this properly? Like in this chapter (ch.70) and chapter 3.

Anywho.

Imuri imagining the BL route... save me... my fucking sides... I burst out laughing the first time my eyes laid on that panel. True to her succubus nature, she didn't even consider the possibility of them using blood or whatever else instead of straight-up KISSING. Those are still bodily fluids, right?? Calm down, girl! Stay put!!!

"I'm not letting his first kiss go to some guy that just appeared!!" HE'S BEEN THERE FOR A DECADE! YOU ARE THE NEWCOMER!!! IMURI, GIRL!! You absolute buffoon! Clown, even!

Whew. Lmao.

This arc also feels like a callback to that one "sleeping beauty" comment from chapter 3.

...except their roles have switched.

This time, Imuri will be the one kissing Father on the cheek to wake him up, and it'll be so, so cute. Trust. Trust me. This will happen. (Going insane).

Go and make him your witch, Imuri... Dew it... Make a move... (screaming and crying)

[reverie-starlight]

heloo saw ur req was open!

Can i req smth like a fic? (or hcs if u prefer) of mammon x gn reader!

Basically where reader is the type that enjoys horror movie and never flinches or might even laugh at some jump scare bcuz they think it’s horrible or funny! and mammon is like ‘what?? how r they laughing??!’ while he’s shivering and clutching a pillow like his life depends on it..

YES OFC I CAN THIS IS SO FUN!!! PERFECT FOR HALLOWEEN <3

(I hope you can forgive me for taking so long to post it, my plan is to schedule this to be released ON Halloween hehe)

also I don't watch a ton of horror movies, so I'll keep it kinda general, but I hope you enjoy anyway!!!!

gn!MC, pre-established relationship with mammon, takes place in OG obey me.

HALLOWEEN MOVIES WITH MAMMON

okay so

at first when you say you want to do a horror movie marathon with him, he's hesitant

yeah, human world horror might seem a bit lackluster for a demon, especially ones centered around possession or summoning- they might even see some as comedies if the execution was done poorly

but possession hits a bit too close to home for mammon, and he's never been a big fan of horror in general

you see him hesitate and before he has the chance to hide his feelings and force himself to agree, you give him an out

"hey, we don't have to if you don't want to... I just thought it might be fun since Halloween is coming up and it's a fun way to get into the spirit of it all. I won't force you, my love."

and he almost takes it.

but then he thinks about how you were probably really missing out on human world holiday traditions... and he sees the bit of disappointment you're trying (and succeeding for the most part- if he didn't know you as well as he did you would have fooled him) to hide

so with a deep breath, he sucks it up and shakes his head. "no, it's okay. we can totally do that! pick a time and place and we'll binge as many as ya want."

your eyes light up and you grin. "really?! thank you so much, mammon! I promise we'll start off with some easier ones and work our way up! I'll go make a list."

he doesn't regret his decision one bit and appreciates that you're being considerate of his feelings

until he realizes that your definition of "easy" horror movies didn't exactly align with his.

the first movie on the list was not "easy" at all, and at first he thought you were pulling his leg a bit

until he saw that you looked almost bored whenever there was a jump scare

it was almost embarrassing that he was clutching the pillow as tight as he was, but you were so focused on the movie that you didn't notice.

you did make sure to periodically check on him in between scenes and during bathroom breaks, but he didn't want you to feel bad, so he put on a brave face that seemed to sway you

he somehow made it through the first movie, and the second, but by time you were on the third (still in the "easy" category, you had said), he felt mildly sick to his stomach

during the movies, you had actually laughed during a few of the scary scenes.

how were you so desensitized to the horror genre?!

he usually admired your bravery, but this was a whole other level.

this third movie had to do with a zombie apocalypse, and you teased him, saying it reminded you of that haunted house you both got trapped in forever ago.

he tried to laugh with you, but at that moment the main character came into contact with one of the zombies and he wasn't able to hold back his scream since his guard was down

suddenly he was hiding his face in your shoulder, and shivering in your arms

poor baby starts apologizing and shaking his head when you pause the movie to check on him

"mammon have you been trying not to let on you were scared this whole time?!"

he tries to deny it but you give him a stern look and he sighs, nodding, starting to shake less now that the initial shock had worn off

"I just wanted to make you happy! I know how much you must miss human world halloween traditions and I wanted to make it feel more normal for ya..."

you smile at him and cup his cheek.

"mammon, that's sweet, but I'm literally in hell watching horror movies with my demon boyfriend, it doesn't get more halloween-y than that for a human," you giggle when he pouts and you lean down to kiss it away

"and if you were scared, you could have told me! we can watch something else, it's totally fine. it's no fun if only one of us is enjoying it."

he reluctantly agrees, still feeling bad for "ruining" your horror marathon (to which you reassure him that he didn't ruin anything, and then apologize for not realizing sooner).

so for the rest of the night you watch horror parodies (which are definitely more his speed) and cuddle up together under the blankets until you both fall asleep, thankfully nightmare free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OKAY I really hope you enjoyed this, anon!!! and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!

I tried to keep it as general as possible because horror movies really aren't my thing, but if you're interested in more spooky mammon content, I have a fluffy halloween fic coming later today (it may already be out depending on when you read this) and I promise the quality is a lot better than what I've offered here :')

[thatonepikminperson]

How to kill all of the Pikmin 3 Bosses with ease, aka, how to drop kick six toddlers

Yes, I'm doing one for Pikmin 3, because I also have played this game too much. SHUT, I had quite a while to play this game, and I have learned the ways to beat the shit out of the local six children of this game, aka, the bosses. (Spoilers for Pikmin 3 and it's bosses down below, btw)

FIRST OF ALL, I'm just going to say this once. Unless a boss fight demands you use Rocks, never bring them to a boss fight*, they are ASS at fighting. Bring Reds, trust me.

*There is an ONE exception, and we'll get to them

Armored Mawdad

So this boi is really easy after the first ten seconds. You basically go for the very back of his tail (The tip thing) and break that. He will shake off Pikmin and rest on a wall. Rush the creature with your Pikmin (Reds first) and watch as he gets capped at 1 HP. Then when he comes down again throw one rock at it and dead

Vehemoth Phosbat

Fun fact, you only need to build half of the bridge. No joke, choose which pile you want to bring over. You can put one Captain in the dark to lure the Phosbat over, just keep in mind that you should rush the pile as soon as it starts to try and eat the Captain (It will fail.) Once half of the bridge is built, wait for the Phosbat to try and eat the Captain in the dark again, call them over, throw 20 Yellows and the Captain over and light the room up. From there, you can just bully the Phosbat with the lights you never turned on because yes they still stun the poor bat. GG easy no re.

Sandbelching Meerslug

Easiest boss in the game, like not even by a long shot. The strategy is simple, bring 100 Reds and win. That's it. Just bring 100 (I think 60 should still work, you just got to be more careful), and when the slug does his sink hole thing, RUSH THE MOUTH. It shouldn't kill any Pikmin, and it forces the slug to come up. Bombless and way easier than before.

Scornet Maestro

First of all, why do you need help with this boss. Second, if you are having trouble, just bring another Captain and have the attacks go onto them. Just remember the attacks the Maestro does don't lock in immediately, they can still switch.

Quaggled Mireclops

Alright, you got two options. ONE: Bring 100 Wingeds, and some Spicy-Spray and auto win, or two, Use Blues and Suffer. I suggest the Winged strat, as it's easier and more funny to pull off. Just rush the guy, then rush him again. Also keep an eye on his health as half way, the tonuge attack changes.

Plasm Wraith*

*(THIS IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE ROCK RULE)

ROCKS. This is the only boss fight I'd recommend using Rock Pikmin, for the shear fact that the main attack this Wraith does WILL NOT KILL THEM. The only things that can kill them are the elemental attacks and as long as you don't suck, you should be fine. Rocks can take out Fire and Rock elemental attacks at any time, electricity you gotta be fast, and Water is a don't even try. Other fun facts with this fight, one, if the Wraith is floating, just walk away. If it has nothing to attack, it's forces to land back down, and two, if the Plasm Wraith feels as if it's surrounded, it will walk into one of the elemental attacks. Try to whistle your Pikmin back BEFORE that happens.

[dazzygurl]

The Last Cigarette- Suguru Geto

TW: Smoking and mentions of murder.

FYI: Fem!Reader (Can be read as GN but there is a mention of reproducing) Suguru smokes a lot here. It's a bit melancholy but not angsty. It's a short story. He might be ooc. Please enjoy!

(Was listening to that song while making this)

  You huffed your cigarette on the tile floor of your small bathroom. The smoke filled the white room like the fog in your head. "You're inhaling pretty deeply." You said, gazing at the melancholy man beside you who sucked in the polluted cloud of smoke in the most refreshing way possible, the smoke being his water. He did not answer you. You notice the bags under his sharp eyes, identical to your own. You wanted him to tell you why he was this way, why he mirrored you so much.

  A sigh escaped his lips, a tired sigh. "I'm going to kill the weak." He stated casually as if he was set on this miserable goal. "What happened to protecting the weak?" You questioned, lighting another cigarette. You had wondered what happened to make his morals shift, a man who believed in protecting the weak. You gently tucked his long bang behind his ear, sliding your fingertips down to his large earring. What a beauty he was and he never understood his true value. He simply shrugged and grasped your hand, blowing smoke near your face. "I've changed."

   "Clearly." You marked sarcastically. "It's for the better. I'll make a better world." His brows furrowed a bit. He didn't bother to show his beautiful smile, not anymore. You realized how sensitive he had become. Perhaps you just noticed how numb he was to it. "I'll create a new world for sorcerers." He paused and inhaled deeply before exhaling the smoke with a disappointed sigh. This was his way of clearing the fog in his head. "Are you with me?" He turned to face you slightly and you caught a glimpse of those tired eyes. They were pleading with you, almost begging you to join him. You've been through a lot of Suguru and you've never left his side, always a real one to him. Now he was asking you to do the same on a bigger scale, on a scale that could potentially kill your family and friends. "Suguru, I'm the only sorcerer in my family..." You inquired, hoping he'd get the hint. "I'm not going to make exceptions." He said almost too quickly. Were you really going to let your family die for your friend? Of course you had questions!

   "Okay let's say I did decide to go with you. What about Satoru? What about Shoko?" You grabbed his chin and forced him to look at you. "I don't want Satoru to know and Shoko doesn't want to be part of this." He looked at you with empty eyes, clearly upset about it.

"We get rid of all those people, there would only be a handful of sorcerers. What then?"

"Then we create a world for ourselves."

"How do you think we'll live? We'll just die out?"

"We'll reproduce."

"What if I don't like anyone that's left enough to have their kids?"

"You like me enough. And everyone likes Satoru."

"What if I don't like you enough?"

   He laughed as if what you said was funny. He presses his face in your hands and looks at you with puppy eyes. "You don't like me?" He whines as you pinched his cheeks. "That's a fair point, you already know my type." You sighed. "What about my siblings? Can I at least keep them with me?" He frowned and shook his head no. "They'll just make more normal people."

  You let go of his face and the two of you stare at the florescent lights of your bathroom. You both remained silent as you contemplated this. You didn't want to lose your family but Suguru was promising you a new one with him. You couldn't just kill the people who raised you and the people you grew up with right?

  An hour or two had passed, maybe, you lost count, you didn't keep track. You reached to grab another cigarette. "Ah...last one." You looked up at the pale man before you who had already finished his long before you. You tuck to cigarette between his lips and light it, watching the tip burn and crumble into ash. You gazed at his soft lips and wondered if they would crack from all the smoking he was doing. If the smoke was only hurting him. "I'll join you." You whispered, watching him burn out the cigarette.

The tiled floor was littered in used cigarettes and empty pepsi cans. He pressed his head on your shoulder, nuzzling against you for warmth. "I killed a village, I killed my parents, I killed a group..." He muttered against your skin. You wanted to feel bad, you wanted to yell at him. "Look at me..." He hugged you tight, embracing you for your attention. He squeezed your heart and made it bleed. "I'll be with you no matter what." You take the cigarette from him and smoke the rest.

(I hope you enjoyed this short story of geto telling yall his plan!)

[34saveme34]

thinking about 3 and him making friends

I don't know how everyone handles him but 4 is definitely not the only one who cares about him

also I wish they showed it more but Meggy definitely considers 3 a friend

Mario also cares about 3 in his own way

He gets along well with Bob when they both want to

he can be nice to Boopkins

we don't see him with Melony which is a shame, they should touch on that more ugh

but yea like Idk the idea that 3 is isolated in 4's grasp to justify the idea that 4 could be abusive-

Sure, he revolves around 4 but it's not really fully his fault, they're cosmically assigned as a pair so like, the fuck can he do but make the most of it?

Like I'll say, he's definitely not fully integrated in the friendgroup and he still has a lot to work on in that regard but he's far from having only 4 as his friend

I think it's just rather that HE thinks that but like he doesn't even know if he should cuz his stupid ass is constantly scared, got them trust issues

You know who has that problem though but doesn't appear a lot so we don't think about it too much? Kaizo. Bro only really knew Saiko and like, that's all we really know of him besides like being irresponsible as hell

but we didn't really like, see him bounce off with anybody else

3-Meggy bouncing off works, similarly to how honestly 4-Meggy works, it's the competitive shittalking kicking in with both, although we saw less of it, since the 34 dynamic really took over

I bet Kaizo could have a great dynamic with someone other than Saiko but he doesn't get enough screen time for that

anyways I'm still fucked over the whole 34 thing. There's so much of them. I don't know, if their whole gay little thing is gonna forever stay a bit and nothing more, it's- gonna get boring real quick

like you can try and dangle the treat in front of us, the animals, but at some point after waiting for it long enough, we'll grow bored.

But really, it feels like such an odd writing decision to focus on them so much if they're just meant to be a bit and they don't want to progress their relationship further. Like it's not like that's what people prefer. Sure, there's a minority who would want only that forever but then it's just pleasing a tiny crowd which could drive others away. It just feels like it wouldn't worth going through so much trouble with them all for that

Like if they just wanted to keep it a silly bit, they shouldn't. focus on it so much. Like, logically if they put so much emphasis on them and tease the hell out of us with things like the end of wotfi23, forced hold hands, elevator, the god damn titanic scene, squidbob34, Perfect, them bitches always being next to each other, like you'll find them mostly next to each other in most scenes they're present in

like, logically, LOGICALLY, this shit's supposed to become more than a god damn bit. Why would you put so much in a ship, the actual like, majority of your fanbase doesn't really care as much about (see: that one youtube ship popularity poll on another yt channel) and some (although a minority) even despise and call the idea of making it canon the end of the world

I am just, you know, left wondering, what the hell is it for- if not for them to make it fuckin canon at some point?

Honestly, I think I said it before, maybe not publically but I'd find it really fun if wotfi24 somehow drove them to be canon

not like as an arc thing, just a fun thing yknow.

but then again, this pair has been a thing for a really long time now

like it makes you think about like, what would even be grand enough to match them, the anticipation that is if those 2 could ever get together, what could match that?

Or would it become like the Puzzlevision movie where it's like, it's fine but still kind of weak. Like sure, but, eh, I expected it to be more cool and like making the wait worthy

then again it would be really funny if they didn't make them canon on camera, we'd just see kiss them in the background while other characters get focus. Like Idk, maybe some random characters we don't see enough, getting together in 3's cafe and like. In the background we see 4 walk over to the counter and very clearly kiss 3 and then them talking. But like they aren't the focus so imagine people actually missing it LJLKLFFL

imagine being a shipper, missing the scene and then losing your shit when people post screenshots of them kissing and you have to go back and check and lose your shit even more

Idk I'm just rambling at this point

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

Chapter 3 - Bargaining

Force of Nature - masterlist

prev next

TW: vampire whumper, hunter whumpee, reckless driving, mind control, death threat, referenced blood drinking

Everything was ready. A couple of hours later than she had planned, but Carter packed up the essentials. Clean clothes to last a week, hygiene products, she broke the legs off a dining room chair for makeshift stakes. These would get her through a few days, the monster would get bored and it would be safe to return. 

She wasn’t sure how strong his suggestion's effects were, she sure as hell still couldn’t say a word about the encounters at the office.

It was a painful moment when she realised she couldn’t bear to touch a stake anymore. She tried to pick one up and bag it, maybe to take home to slowly one-by-one replace her collection. All she saw was every single life she took, replayed over and over again in violent detail. It was best to drop it. 

The chair legs worked, and she was over the moon with the discovery. The suggestion was strong, but not clear enough, easy to find a loophole on. Julius might have been strong, but she was clever. And as long as he didn’t plan on enthralling her, she would outsmart him.

She threw her duffel bag in the boot and slammed it shut. The sun would funny go down any moment and Carter wanted to be as far away as possible by then. 

Her hand was on the door handle by the driver's seat when a strong pair of hands grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. 

“This is not how we'll go about this” he stated casually. It cost him no more energy to keep her pressed up against the car than breathing. At least it didn't seem like it. 

Carter didn't speak or move. She felt her heart hammer against her ribcage and her breathing grow irregular. She tried to collect herself, if she panicked and made the wrong move it would be over, and she needed a win. 

Deep breath in, and out. 

In again. 

Think. 

Technically the sun wasn't up in the sky anymore, but it was still light enough, so it made no sense why he would show himself. His skin didn’t appear burnt or even irritated. It was still statuesque and lightly olive toned, not a blemish or even a sunkissed cheek.

“What do you still want from me?” she seethed. So much for thinking it through, and being in control. He frowned a bit, before answering.

“I still intend to kill you, but I'm in no hurry” he let up, with a cold, sinister smile “Go, you can try to outrun me”

She didn't need to be told twice. Partly, because she knew in the back of her mind, that she will obey those words, no matter what, and partly, because it was all she wanted to do, as well. 

She practically threw herself into the driver’s seat, started the engine before closing the door behind her, and sped away. 

Carter was on the interstate in a matter of a couple minutes, they felt like hours. She kept glancing in the rearview mirror and out the windows if he was following her, but there was no sign of the monster. She had to keep checking, even though she was sure the shadowy movements in her peripheral vision were her mind overworking, finding a threat where there wasn’t any.

She could finally breathe again, when she saw the first sign, pointing her towards the nearest state line. Her mind cleared up a bit, only for the vampire’s threat to make sense.

“What the fuck was that?” she muttered to herself and stepped on the gas harder to speed up. 

Carter wanted to call someone, but there was no way of getting around the vampire's compulsion. She hit the wheel, frustrated, sending the car off its track. 

It only steered a couple of yards to the left, just a little too close for comfort to the crash barrier.

She managed to straighten out the trajectory, and stay in her lane. She looked around to see if anyone had seen it, but there were no other cars around. It was unusual for a weekday afternoon like that, the highway was usually packed by dusk, hours long traffic jams were the norm in this direction. 

The clear path gave her hope of getting further away than she had planned.

Carter had to gather her thoughts, now that she was finally on the run. The plan she had made the day before didn’t account for the monster appearing in broad daylight to threaten her. She was confident she could figure this out.

He announced his intention to kill Carter, as much was pretty straightforward. It was also true that he hadn’t actually made a move or put any effort in carrying that plan out, quite the opposite, now that she thought about it. He had pulled away before he left her with any lasting damage, when he bit her before. 

He had to have been bluffing. There was no point in scaring her from time to time, just to let her go this time. Unless he liked to play cat and mouse on the interstate highway, and planned to run after her, risking being caught on every single traffic camera on the way, she had to be safe. And even if he did have a car, what would he do? Vampires didn’t chase people from cars. In fact vampires either killed people on the spot or tried to, when they intended to kill someone. When they didn’t, Carter had heard of some creatures, who had struck deals with hunters, to protect their territories and such. The hunters, who agreed, in her opinion were the scum of the Earth. The lowest of the lows. 

What Julius was doing was nothing like she’d seen before, and she hated to admit how much that still terrified her. 

She crossed the state border without any issues and a part of her finally felt relieved. She wasn’t far away from the motel she had planned to stay at. It was a place she knew, protected by a group of hunters. She could spend a night or two there, free of charge, to lay low before she headed further. She would also be protected better than she would have been at home, and hopefully far out of the vampire’s reach for a bit.

A light lit up on her dash with a soft click, distracting her from the road again.

Carter's brows furrowed frustrated at first, then her expression turned confused, it was warning her of the low level of fuel in the tank. She had just filled it a day ago, and she’d barely been driving for an hour.

There must be a problem with the display, she decided. The car was old already, when she got it used. It needed repairs from time to time, especially on its electronics, but that didn't calm the uneasy feeling the appearance of the little red tank sign stirred. 

“Engine trouble?” The voice was clear as day, but without an actual source. It appeared in the back of her mind, as if it came from the base of her own skull. It was his voice she noted with a shiver. 

“There are no gas stations nearby” This time it came from her right and she spared a glance that way. 

Julius’ hand shot out to grab the wheel, which she let go of immediately upon yanking it to the side. 

“Grab the wheel and decide, if you want to brake or accelerate” The engine screamed in unison with her and the vehicle almost stopped. Someone else sped by, furiously blaring their car horn. 

They came to a full stop in the middle of the road. Julius looked at her incredulously “You absolute moron! What are you doing?” Only lit by the faint lights of the dashboard, his face looked like something straight out of a horror movie. His eyes bore holes into her as he stared, and she was convinced he bared his fangs as well for a moment. 

“Get out! Leave me alone!” Tears spring to her eyes without her say-so, her heart beat so fast she thought it would jump out of her chest. He was sitting in her car. And they were in the middle of a completely empty road in total darkness. 

She felt nauseous as her other senses caught up to his presence, his cologne was crisp, but it didn’t cover up the ancient air he brought about. She couldn’t hear him move or even breathe.

“No,” he replied simply, “Start the car and drive” he instructed and laid back in his seat. It wasn't just instruction, though. 

Her hand reached for the ignition involuntarily and turned the key in its place. 

The lights lit up, and the dash was back to normal, the tank over three quarters full. 

“Why won't you just leave me alone?” Her voice quivered, but she wasn't crying. Only a couple of tears managed to run down on her face. She couldn't let go of the wheel so she wiped them off on her shoulder, the sturdy green denim dried her face up immediately. 

“You hurt me, I hurt you back, simple, is it not?” He answered casually and looked out the window. “We’re turning around, turn right at the nearest exit”

“You have hurt me, though, you drank from me” she pointed out. There was no way she’d sit in silence, even though arguing with him was most likely stupid, and possibly a death sentence.

“You’ll wish I had only done that once we get back,” his tone darkened slightly, but he kept his composure. “Let me tell you what will happen now”

“How about you surprise me?” she asked sarcastically. He stayed silent for a brief moment and continued, ignoring her.

“You will not run, you will not call for help, you will stay in your house and wait for me to take my fill every night, for as long as I see fit. And when I decide it was enough, I will drain you and you will die”

“No” Carter managed to blurt out in disbelief, but the protest was a grain of sand against the current of his words washing through her mind.

“And you don’t get to end it in some idiotic car crash, like you did now” he continued mercilessly.

“I wasn’t trying to- I didn’t-” He cut her off again.

“I will decide, when it’s time and you can only hope, I choose to do it soon” He finally looked back at her. “Clear?” 

[the-acid-pear]

hoo boy another ask. sorry 'bout this Luly, but uh. Had Thoughts About Jack And Dee Again!!

so like. how i imagine June 26th went from Jack's perspective:

he was forced to work at one of his other jobs that day. he Wanted to stay with Dee that day. would've given anything to do it without potentially risking getting fired. but he couldn't. he hoped she'd have a good day, and promised to be back that evening.

now, an extra bit of context: so uh. Jack was REALLY not doing well after his parents died. like. Not At All. he was really close to them, and the knowledge that he likely wouldn't be able to go to college (something he really wanted to do), would have to get a job while he was still grieving because well. their parents' money wouldn't last forever, and they still had stuff like the house and funeral expenses to pay for, and would also have to help care for a child when he did not have the maturity or life experience to handle that. well, it's clear that any mental problems he had before that point were going to get worse. to put it one way, Dee was one of the few things holding him together at that point. scratch that: the MAIN thing holding him together.

so Jack comes back that evening. he has cupcakes for a much smaller party that was gonna be happening that evening with him, Dee, Peter, and Caroline. he shows up, gives a quick hello to Henry, and goes to find his sister.

at first, he can't really see her. huh, that's weird...maybe she's hiding? for one thing, she gets overwhelmed by a lot of noise and bright lights, so maybe she went to hide under a table because of that. she also doesn't like Henry too much. maybe he couldn't take a hint that Dee didn't want to talk to him too much, and so she's hiding from him so he would leave her alone.

either way, Jack starts getting more frantic as he searches around for her in all of the places he could check. calling out for her by saying "Dee, i-it's time to come out now! I'm back! It's time to go home, Sis!" and "DeeDee, this isn't funny! Please, where are you?! C'mon! Let's go home! Please!"

eventually, Jack starts having a breakdown. the realization that Dee's missing hits him like a car. he sits up against the wall and starts basically sobbing.

it's the first, and only, really, time that Henry ever sees Jack cry.

he (fake) comforts Jack, promising that Dee's gotta be somewhere around here. There's only so many places she can hide, after all. Jack's practically inconsolable, and the only thing that fills his mind while this is going on is that it's his fault, he should've been there, what if she's been kidnapped or hurt? or worse?

Dave tries his hardest to comfort Jack (he feels guilty, hiding the fact that he knows what happened to Dee and had some involvement in what happened to her), promising that they'll find Dee. all Jack can get out through the sobs is "Peter's gonna fucking kill me." because that was the last promise he made to Peter before he moved out; to protect her and keep her safe. and look how he fucked that up.

now, Peter and Caroline hadn't moved to Colorado yet (that's not until later :)), so Jack calls Peter to tell him to come down to the diner, because y'know. Dee's Missing.

Peter finally gets there with Caroline, and they do their best to get more information. Jack is basically fucking dissociating, hoping desperately that he's asleep, that this isn't real. that he'll wake back up at work and it'll be time to go pick Dee up from her party.

Peter decides, now that the police are here and they've exhausted all of their options, that he should take Jack home. the guy's stressed, tired, and is at his wit's end. Jack needs rest, and it's not like they can do much at this point. Henry encourages this, and basically says "yeah, you should go. we'll deal with things from here :)" (because Henry knows that the next stage of grief after denial is typically anger. he doesn't know How long it's going to take Jack to reach that stage, and he'd prefer not to deal with a pissed off Jack right now). Jack eventually agrees to leave with Peter, but...not before he feels a presence. and hears a voice saying "I'm here."

it's her. it has to be her. she's still here! they can still find her, they just have to look harder! Peter, who didn't see or feel anything, thinks that the stress was getting to Jack, and decides to keep dragging Jack back to the car to take him home.

(Henry saw her though. he knows damn well Jack wasn't hearing things.)

- dogboyjackkennedy

Dandy you're fucking killing me.

[moroser]

ill say, its kinda funny youve got 2 aus where Lilith just ends up taking care of a young Hunter cuz Wow You Really Like The Idea That Much (the "when all the characters you like follow a pattern" kind of funny.) but I am also obsessed cuz...the idea of Lilith with a child is fascinating, especially with Hunter. She's already so exhasperated with Eda's childish endeavors as it is, and she seems to not be..exactly good with children per se? (the times weve seen her interact with children at least.) And she also doesn't hold Hunter in high regards and so the idea of "What if Lilith raised him when he is but a small child?" is so entretaining and I think your Vampire AU explores it in a great way!! Like shes mildly annoyed at all times but its bc shes tired and hungry and stressed out and shes also in the position of basically raising him and she knows she should be gentler with him but she cant, and thats so very Lilith. Like such a very close to canon protayal of her.

Im sorry for making this very long, I was just rotating ur aus and ideas so I had to spill em out!!

ahhh!! please dont apologize i love talking about lilith and esp that vampire au lol. and it's actually a worry of mine that people think i don't understand lilith or am mischaracterizing her, simply because i happen to draw tender things!! (i say this because i don't see lilith as a very tender person, not naturally.)

thank you for saying that about my vampire au wheeze, cause i try very hard to use that au for that!! she's pretty rough with him because she's in this position where she's forced to care for something that is both a child and a predator to her. like he can literally kill her dead. but she was also a very solitary person prior to finding him and i really like thinking about her coming to the decision not to kill him and taking him under her wing. lilith is not heartless and we see that she has a conscience about others, particularly when she's not in competition for something. (when she was younger and shared pain with eda, when she hugs eda and tries to comfort her when she's crying about luz being so young and involved in all the chaos.) but she's not maternal, she's not naturally tender as an adult, she's not someone who's had to think about caring for another living thing, she thinks selfishly. she's someone who's had her focus on herself, hiding, feeding, keeping herself going all these years. and in the au, in hunters case, i kept him as an isolated character that hadn't experienced a caring guardian or parent and even though lilith is not very good at it, he doesn't know any better because of that and because he's so young. so it's almost like lilith has room for error and to build their relationship as she is because hunter just doesn't even know.

sometimes i think about the part where lilith shields luz from the stone sleeper. she throws her entire body over her, but it's all while saying ''eda is going to kill me, eda is going to kill me." this isn't to say she doesn't care about luz, but her drive to protect her is for her sister. she doesn't... like, she doesn't naturally have this instinct to be a guardian. WHEEZE, so it is the most fun and greatest of my past times to think about lilith parenting hunter in different aus. lol. I LOVE IT!!! i love her and i love him.

before i get going too long with this i'll just say thank you again and im so happy and glad that people like the aus so much. i have a human au i am really interested in sharing because it's just so cute. it's lilith with a BABY so it's very interesting to think about it all. im a little shy 'bout this one but we'll see how it goes.

i'm also going to use this ask to clarify that i don't just shove lilith and hunter together this way cause i like the idea. of course i LOVE the idea, but i do think about it as thoroughly as i'm able to, and because i love lilith (and hunter) so much, exploring her character in depth is something i just love doing. i think about her so much rip.

[liliallowed]

Fuck it call me the voice of the smitten because true love, friendship and NOT MURDERING PEOPLE is totally going to fix this situation! We'll find a way to save ourselves from the demon and help sans, 100%!!! We just gotta stay determined!

[ Even if you don't admit it, the weight of the Demons words still hangs in the air and festers in your mind no matter how hard you try to convince yourself. You still try and stay determined. ]

[ SAVE? ]

ah power of friendshiping this are we? let's see where it goes~

[continuation of prev ask]

you make your way towards where you think sans was at first...

you're panicked you're confused. are you really trapped in a loop? that demon did this they KNEW...

screw them. you'd tell sans and hopefully sort things out.

you face the skeleton explaining everything with a panicked face.

he nodds sympathetically.

but he asks you the same question as before.

"how many times have we had this conversation?"

his tone is the same. there's little indication of him wishing to hurt you yet you can't help but feel a chill on your spine. as if your instincts are telling you to THINK before you lie or tell him the truth.

"second." you had no reason to lie.

his grin sharpens only for a moment. only for a SECOND you saw something in his eye that... made you shudder.

"hm. you're so cooperative. you didn't lie. but it's so strange how I don't recall your resets. could you REALLY be telling the truth?" his grin is now colder. his eyes are sharper on you.

"I can make this right! how do I give this thing to you? I'm not lying! I just want to get out. I don't want to relive this day... I want to help you! and ... to ask for your help. can't we work together?" you take a small step back subconsciously.

something isn't right. something FEELS wrong.

his smile feels so fake. it feels like he's barely even putting effort into it.

was he actually going to kill you?

"I know. I know you had nothing to do with this. I know you're scared. it's alright. it's only your second time. I get it. where is the brat?" he puts his hand on your shoulder slowly comforting you.

something about his compassionate words felt... sweet and warm. TOO warm. it felt... a bit off but that was probably due to the brainwashing of the demon. he hadn't hurt you yet. why would he this time?

you tell him everything you know about the demon. he smiles as you offer the red soul, this time more easily.

they didn't even struggle this time.

everything was going great! now you just needed to get rid of the reset...

"to think they'd give something so precious to YOU." he chuckled.

"while I had to suffer through hell to take it by force. heh... funny. you seem to just... jave everything go wrong and someone else gets rewarded." he broke the soul to shards, destroying the demons life force.

you want to comfort him. let him know you'll do whatever it takes. you want to make it right.

he glances at your soul... then you. "you said this is the second time this happened right?"

you nod.

he frowns.

"well... I know a solution. but you have plenty of time before you die. I'll use it as a last resort. after all. if it fails... heh. nevermind. as long as you don't die it'll be fine." he mutters to himself.

"what... is your method?"

"you don't need to worry about it. not for now at least." he grinns.

you agreed to let the skeleton take charge to keep you safe to prevent the reset. you agreed to stay where he told you and did anything he said.

you didn't want to make an enemy of him. and he genuinely seemed to like you!

days turned into weeks... until you found the two of you growing closer.

you would occasionally notice a faint dark bluish purple blush on his face whenever you hugged him or... whenever he would lay his head against yours.

friendship slowly turning into love. you confessed and he accepted.

you felt safe you felt happy... at home.

the demon was wrong. you made it. you turned things around! he wasn't the monster they thought he was. you had changed him.

they were only lying to you because they wanted you to fight him.

the small embarrassed faces he'd make whenever you flirted. the small sweet gestures of just being... vulnerable next to you. relying on you relaxing next to you....

it was almost too good to be true...

....

...

..

.

🩶

"what are you... why are you doing this?"

you look at him with tears in your eyes. you felt so betrayed by the pain in your chest... your soul cracking under the pressure of his magic.

"it's nothing personal. I do like you. it was fun to be toghter. I wanted to give you a good life before resorting to this. that soul of yours. it needs to die. not just physically. I have to break your will. you're determination is what's keeping it bound to you." he gives you a bitter smile. there's a faint sadness in his eyes but... also something... dark... bloodlust... sorrow shame guilt... anger.

"was all of those things you said to me a lie?"

"no. I meant it. you're a nice human. an unfortunate one. it's a matter of circumstances. I don't hate you. but... let's just say I can easily detach myself from personal feelings. been doing it for a while and you're not the first. it's alright if you hate me after this. I deserve it anyway so you'd be doing both of us a favor" he shrugged.

"least I could do was give you a happy experience before sending you off. I'm sorry. you understand right? you've been so nice to me. you'd understand why I have to do this. don't make this harder than it needs to be. you'll just... just be sleeping. yeah." he chuckled to himself.

he was NOT doing okay... you couldn't see any clarity on those eyes. only an increasing sense of danger and bloodlust.

he was actually going to kill you... no. not kill. TORTURE you till you were out of a will to live...

was this MERCY? you don't understand. you did everything by the book... why did he do this? was this really the only way? you DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!

"it's okay. I'll make it as painless as I can... it's okay to hate me too. I know it hurts. just... give up. it'll be fine. you'll be okay." he tried to comfort you as he held a small serum in his hand.

"you know I love you right?..." he looked at you in the eyes.

"so please just let go. don't make me hurt you more than I have to."

"you don't have to do THIS! we can find another way-" you saw his eyes flared up red... as if you had said something that triggered him.

"and look where HE ended up by saying those exact words hehehehehe." he began to break down... slowly losing himself. you had seen him talk to himself from time to time but THIS felt different. it felt unstable. you felt unsafe... this wasn't good.

"no. of course you're not above them. no... no. you'll join them. it's okay. I wouldn't do that pap. I know. no ... I'm not giving up. I know... "

he muttered as he clung onto the side of his hood.

ah. so this was the side he wanted to hide from you...

and you thought the demon was crazy... he clearly needed actual psychological professional help...

in hindsight all the red flags you were ignoring during your relationship with him were starting to make a lot more sense now...

but you just assumed it was because the DEMON warned you...

they never lied... you felt so sad. you KNEW he didn't want to do this. you knew this was supposedly the only way...

but you couldn't give up.

bones... needles saws... weapons that only gave you a promise of pain and suffering... all were closing in on you... was he going to cut you open? how much pain did you have to go through?

your body was paralysed by fear... you couldn't move... only cry in silence as you felt the tip of the blade slowly scratch your skin-

*you don't want to die.

*you called for help...

*they hear your call.

\that's the spirit\

*you're filled with determination.

a flash of red light enveloped your body as it whipped the weapons away.

"it's been a while goody two shoes. told ya you'd need me back"

you stared at the hooded demon standing in between you and the skeleton.

oh... no...

[the-firebird69]

Walt Disney world and Disneyland all of those places are in debt and we don't know how they did it they had sales of paraphernalia to hold them over and it was selling pretty good I couldn't go there so they started buying Mickey mouse cups and all sorts of stuff and really it's really bad management if you can't do that and of course I was tryi John remillard a lot of people hate him for it and now he doesn't own it nope so here we have a problem the place is owned and operated by a Mac and he's not doing anything with it beyond a few small renovations that he's been planning for 50 years they're just going to let our son just sit here and do nothing. And he also wants to put him in the mental hospital as soon as tomorrow or today our son says no, never and we shall stop it and we'll stop him he's been doing it for years and he is insane and that's why he's doing it he has a frontal lobe that doesn't let him fit straight it's absolutely true but right now he's got that load inside him. We don't want you here we don't want you around to make you the wrong decisions everyday every few minutes in other words you've been detected as a loser and join up with them and hang out with them you should have no place to go no you know and then request elsewhere cuz you're made up of funny people who don't know how to do stuff to begin with and are annoying as hell it's unfortunate for you you're going to keep talking and talking and talking to never do anything they don't want to work they don't want to go outside they don't want to go to the museum or see something new or even go to the same park and behave they want to be a problem and just have stuff given to them it's some sort of baby bird. But your problem is you right now we cannot have you doing these things to our son mac Daddy we can't. So we're going to start taking your stuff as your forces are dwindling anyways by the time this conflict is over between you two morons both sides will not be standing and it's a waste of time you see that other armies are forming up to go down is this what needed to happen now we're upset and we're angry and we are coming down on people but yeah that's what we're doing her son says it every time he sees you the stuff is getting a week from him and wants things for nothing and right now we are heading in to his area and we're heading into the rings and we're going to shut down this idiot show he's going to set up some groups and I'm going to do it special teams to take over your companies because you're not incompetent but you're pretty much going to be there pretty soon and it's not your fault it's your boys

Thor Freya

This is bad and this is horrible but it's expected you boys suck can I sell a company what am I going to buy there's nothing to buy if they don't want I just be sitting there buying stuff and sell it we can't run stuff because you're all stupid that's not really that good. All my life back you voice of mine took my life a long time ago you can see what's going to happen it's not my fault and you were turned into someone who think differently and ruined me and I don't need that they do understand this point do you think my people should take over that stupid argument and of course I don't want them to but he wants to survive every time he goes there he's under some kind tap that you idiots supposedly justice system is you with your fat face f****** it up you understand it's like you're announcing to the world our kind of lawless slowly carefully so they can kind of remove Us and how they have to I need new people out of my life supposed to go down there and arrest just the people who are trouble and people stood up for this piece of garbage to live like him went to head primate and everybody's going to die for nobody called Trump he left the building too he's also a TBI victim I don't know what to say I got to have you out of my life you ruined what I was doing you ruined my life before that as you retards now you're working on ruining whatever else you can and he's aware of it that you are these suicidal freaks and you do have an attitude about you and it's terrorism and you're trying to convert people to not care about themselves but I'll tell you what you're just going to die anyways I'm watching you go and I got you what you did to me and he has not heard it yet but that's what it is you want to take down the whole realm so what I'm not even part of it because of you idiots now you're not part of anything and you can't see that you're all going to die he says and I agree you're a freaking stupid I tell him this some of them can figure it out a little we had this argument a lot he says they figure out a little and they forget those are that Swift can you imagine everybody else because talking is idiots is a waste can you imagine a group of people that have a leader who can't tell from what you see happening to these morlock at the tunnels what's going on with it can you believe that it is amazing to he and I they're going away they're gone forever anyways it's been a pleasure getting screwed by you f****** morons and you're out I've got you I got you back one way or the other either way you look at it you're dead

Mac Daddy

Our son says and daughter I guess he doesn't want to sell Disney and he's laughing but really he does not want to and doesn't care if it's in arrears doesn't have to be but the place will be bankrupt if he sells it to anybody else and gone so he won't be able to hold on to it and we don't want the max in there and who says I want ownership so you want to talk to him about it cuz he didn't start out owning it and other companies

Thor Freya

Olympus

[alien-hybreed]

OVERTIME - Part 3: Promotion

Read Part One Here!

Previous Chapter Here

Something is wrong in Woodshurst.

Neither Mike or Luke were ever seen again after their late shifts with Laura and Rhiannon is growing increasingly suspicious. With nobody in town paying any heed to her, she is forced to go to the police.

Will Senior Sergeant Daisy Sofen be able to help her? And what is Laura's next move?

"Lady, do I look like I give a crap?" Sighed the clerk at the front desk of the local gym "You don't understand, Luke is here every morning. Even if I skip out, he never misses a beat" Pleaded Rhiannon despite the man at the desk rolling his eyes at her. "Look, your man's clearly ghosting you. Take it on the chin and move on" he replied dismissively as he turned his back on her. "We're not... he's not... look that's not the point. Two people went missing from my work last week. Including Luke. And if he's missed a week's worth of gym..." Continued Rhiannon, hiding out a stack of missing persons flyers. "Please..?" She implored in her sweetest voice. "Ugh, fine" pouted the clerk as he turned around and took the flyers from her. "We'll keep these around for whatever good it does"

"Thank you so much, I just... I just need to know they're alright, y'know?" Said Rhiannon with a tremble as she stifled a painful sob. The clerk gave her a solemn nod and she turned to leave. As Rhiannon began to open the door, the clerk spoke up. "And uh, you're sure you're the last person to see them?" He asked with the first hint of sincere concern Rhiannon had heard all day. "Yeah... just me and that bitch Laura" Rhiannon replied with a derisive snort "Oh Lauara? From the Snack Arnold's downtown?" Asked the clerk "Huh. That's odd. Now you mention it, she stopped coming in last week too. Used to be here in the evenings all the time" That is weird, thought Rhiannon. But what would that rude bitch even care to know?

* * *

Laura feigned a hearty chuckle at the terrible joke her date had just made. To further sell the performance, she playfully bit at her index finger while looking Warren in the eye. "When did you get so funny, Warren?" She chuckled "I don't remember you having such a wicked sense of humour in High school" She purred with a sultry smile. "Oh I'm plenty of wicked things" Replied Warren, completely oblivious to how out of character this behaviour was for Laura. "I'll bet you are..." She whispered, deliberately exaggerating as she leaned down to take a long, hard suck on the straw in her drink. "Maybe I'd like to find out just how wicked" She continued, staring intently at the heavyset jock as he began to blush. Warren had never been good at much besides football and that hadn't really changed at since he dropped out of senior year nearly ten years ago. Laura giggled as she brushed her foot against his leg under the table. "Tell you what, I've gotta close tonight, but how about you swing by Snack Arnold's tonight after we shut and we can share a free meal in my office" purred Laura as she stood up and gathered her things. "Oh I can't do take-out, it's training season so I'm like, on a real strict diet" Sputtered Warren "That's not the eating out I had in mind" chuckled Laura. "11pm stud, see you there" She whispered before turning to leave the empty Cafe. Warren had wondered why on earth Laura had asked to see him today after all this time. And in a dive like Jimmy's of all places. Nobody came here for the food, matter of fact, nobody came to Jimmy's at all if they knew what was food for them. But it was worth it. Warren had crushed on Laura all through high school and she'd always shot him down. But tonight? Tonight was gonna be different.

* * *

The drone hissed as its body ached. It had been almost a week since Laura implanted it with her eggs. Since then, its balls had continued to swell until its sack was almost three times its original size, heavy with the lifeforms incubating within. It had made it difficult to work on the nest with the same level of dexterity as the other drones. It didn't understand where they had come from or who they had been. It just knew every night, Laura returned in her car with a new one. There were six of them now, all identical in appearance and behaviour. Who they'd been before didn't matter, Laura was all that mattered now.

Two other drones had been implanted with Laura's eggs. Lke this one, they had curled up in the webs of their hive to hibernate while they nurtured the tremendous responsibility their queen had bestowed on them. Meanwhile, the other drones worked diligently to extend the webbing throughout the house. Laura's room was almost completely smothered in the stuff, as was the hallway outside and most of the top floor. They'd be webbing up the ground floor and basement soon enough...

The drone's muscles ached again as it grew increasingly restless. It begn to idly stroked its cock until a dribble of precum came out. Thick and purple, more than it had been the dozens of times it had done so over the last day or so. Yes... it was nearly time to pull free from the webbing and begin the next step of creating Laura's new world...

* * *

"And I'm telling you, they are missing" Shouted Rhiannon, stamping her feet as she glared at the police officer, a wiry young man by the name of Daniel Kocheck "Ma'am, we can't just declare someone-" Replied the exasperated officer Kocheck. "People! Plural! There's two of them and they've both been missing since last week!" Interrupted Rhiannon with a shrill cry. "Well, yep" said kocheck, raising his hand in a 'stop' motion. "That there's two of them is all the more reason we can't be too hasty, so far you're the first person to come forward about this. Try to understand how that looks?" Offered Kocheck, calmly trying to diffuse the situation. "Looks like what!?" Cried Rhiannon with an angry sob. "Well, you said you're all good friends? Maybe they've gone out of town for a bit? Trip to the city? Boys being boys?" Suggested officer Kocheck but Rhiannon just shook her head. "No, no, I saw them both before they disappeared. Luke would have bragged about it that night and Mike... Mike shares everything with me. No way they would have went out of town, not when Laura kept them back" "Sorry, who kept them how?" Came the sweet voice of the senior constable, Daisy Sofen. Daisy was average height but with a lean, stocky physique. Rhiannon relaxed a little at the sound of Daisy's voice. Daisy Sofen had been on the same baseball and volleyball teams as Rhiannon's older sister, they'd been good friends until she'd joined the force. "Laura. Our boss at Snack Arnold's. She kept Mike back last week. No idea how long they were there that night, it was... it wasn't much better when we got in the next day" sobbed Rhiannon as she shifted her focus to Senior Constable Sofen. "And Luke was there that night also?" Enquired the senior constable with a sincere, compassionate tone. "N-no. No. Luke worked late the next day... with Laura" continued Rhiannon. "Laura says they told her that had some kind of bug and couldn't come in, but she's the only one who's heard from them since I last saw them." Senior Constable Sofen frowned, she didn't like the sound of that. "Look, tell you what Rhi, we'll start looking into it. Get the ball rolling. That way, when and -if- they are missing, we can put those next steps into play quickly and legally. Yeah?" Offered the Senior Constable. Rhiannon nodded, wiping away the snot and tears from her blubbering with a tissue officer Kocheck offered. "In the meantime, go home. Rest. Maybe call in sick if you're working tonight, yeah?" Suggested the Senior Constable. Rhiannon nodded and left the police station in a solemn mood, leaving the two officers at the desk. "Laura... ain't that Carter's daughter?" Said Officer Kocheck "Yeah, your sister used to babysit her right?" Replied Senior Constable Sofen. "Yeah, yeah... she was a monster" chuckled Kocheck "you don't... you don't think she's done 'em in do ya?" "No, Kocheck. But something ain't right in that Snack Arnold's. I say we pay her a visit tomorrow, see shat her side of all this is" stated the Senior Constable. "You don't think them boys are just avoiding that pretty young thing?" Replied Kocheck, nodding towards the door Rhiannon had left from. "Dunno, but ghosting or not, those boys are gonna break that girl's heart" Replied Senior Constable Sofen.

* * *

The drone bounded through the underbrush on all fours. While it's emotional range was quite limited, there was a simple pleasure to being free of the webbing and exercising its muscles like this. The sun was low on the horizon as night began to fall, the drone understood that would make it safer to travel, though it didn't understand why it felt compelled to.

The drone knew it was in the woods outside the nest, albeit now closer to the human town than it was to the nest. The drone liked the forest. Easy to hide in, easy to move through. Plenty of places perfect for... perfect for what? The drone came to a halt as a terrible cramp began twisting in its guts. It could feel its swollen ball sack wriggle and squirm as something began shifting through its insides.

Instinctively, it moved towards the nearest tree. Hunching over, it let out a single cough and with a wet slurp, spat a large glob of purple slime on the tree. It felt a terrible shiver down its spine and instinctively darted towards another tree nearby and retched again. Another glob of purple slime spattered across the base of the tall pine and the drone shuddered again. This process repeated until the drone had hacked up slime onto at least a couple of dozen trees in the area before the shuddering finally abated. Looking closely at the glob, the drone could see a large pink-purple orb throbbing amidst the slime. What looked like dozens of spidery veins were spreading out from the orb and plunging into the tree. The areas around these veins were already looking less like wood and more like flesh. Gently pulsing and spreading with surprising speed.

That felt right to the drone. Everything would become them eventually, that was their purpose as a species. To convert everything to be like them. By infecting the trees, the drone was fulfilling a vital step in the process of making the immediate surroundings more suitable for their kind. The drone was relieved to feel its balls were lighter now, but something still writhed and squirmed inside. There was one final step before this reproductive cycle was completed. The drone could feel its arousal steadily building as the familiar need for sex began returning.

Yes, it needed to head towards the human town. One final task to complete for its Queen. The drone began to bound through the trees once more, as the need for sex compelled it to seek a suitable partner. Presumably the Queen, the drone wasn't really aware of any other possibility. Under the cover of darkness the drone began making its way to Laura's workplace...

* * *

Rhiannon glared at the back office as she arrived at work. Against the advice of Senior Constable Sofen, she'd resolved to come in for her closing shift. Something was rotten with Laura's story and grief was making Rhiannon bold. If she couldn't confront Laura about it, she'd at least see what she could glean from her.

To say it made for a strange evening, was an understatement. Laura had been more aloof than usual, spending most of her time hidden away in her office when she would have normally been out amongst the crew barking orders. Rhiannon had caught glimpses of her buried in her phone, scrolling through what looked like a dating app. When she'd tried to strike up a friendly conversation about it, Laura had just glared at her until she dropped it and made a hasty retreat. Curious, but not exactly out of character.

What was curious was when Rhiannon quietly slipped past the bin room and saw Laura hurl several giant garbage bags and a bike into the dumpster like they were nothing. Laura was infamously weak and that had led many to believe this was a major source of her permanently foul mood. Could Laura be on steroids? It could explain a lot and the guy at the gym said she had been coming in late... it couldn't have made her homicidal though, surely? Rhiannon was starting to feel less inclined to have a direct confrontation with Laura.

The next oddity was when passing the office while Laura was on her dinner break. Rhiannon tried to strike up a conversation about wishing her friends well and hoping they'd be back soon. Unsurprisingly, Laura was quick to shut the conversation down. Rhiannon nearly persisted, wanting to probe at how they were behaving when Laura last saw them. But when she caught a glimpse of Laura's dinner, she quickly excused herself and left the office in a hurry. There was no way to know without tipping off Laura, but it looked like the meat in her chicken sandwich was completely raw. There was definitely something strange happening with Laura and Rhiannon had seen enough goofy horror films to know she needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

When closing time rocked around, Rhiannon was rushing to leave with Sammy and Maria who'd been filling in while Luke and Mike were off. The three of them were nearly out the door when Laura called out to Rhiannon, stopping her dead in her tracks. Her blood ran cold as she quickly deduced she was about to be asked to stay behind and end up in a sandwich like Luke and Mike.

"Hey Rhi-Rhi..." said Laura in the insincere, sweet voice that often meant an unreasonable request was coming. Rhiannon was poised to bolt for the car park as Laura walked up to her. "Y-yeah?" Croaked Rhiannon, trying her hardest to mask how frightened she was. "I know this Mike/Luke thing must be really hard for you..." Continued Laura, laying a reassuring hand on Rhiannon's shoulder. Uner any circumstance, it would have been comical to see. Rhiannon was a fair bit taller than Laura and clearly not appreciating the gesture. "Oh it's, it's nothing really..." stuttered Rhiannon, trying to shake off Laura's hand as naturally as possible. "Well it is. We're all pretty worried" said Laura "I want you to take the next few days off, don't worry about us, we'll be fine" She continued in that sickly sweet tone" "Oh... thank you, well ok. Yeah. Thank you" Replied Rhiannon inching out the door, if this was her opportunity to escape, she had to take it. "Oh and Rhi?" Called Laura as Rhiannon was halfway out the door. Rhiannon slowly turned to look back at Laura. "Have a good night." Said Laura with a wry smile. Rhiannon let out a nervous chuckle. "You too, Laura. Don't stay back too late, yeah?" She replied anxiously. "Oh I always do" purred Laura as she strode back to her office.

* * *

The drone panted hungrily as it watched the woman leaving the place where it had been reborn. It thought it had been drawn here because Laura, its Queen was here, trying to keep up the act of being human. But when the drone saw this woman... it was like a switch flipped in its brain and a whole new understanding of what it had to do was just there. The drone's heart pounded as it began to beat faster. Yes. This was what had compelled it to leave the nest. Carefully, the drone crept across rooftops and darted through alleyways as it followed the woman, staying out of sight. It new better than to try and make a move where it could be seen or interrupted so easily. Just as well. There was a large, broad shouldered man on the opposite side of the street heading back towards the building Laura was in. There was a momentary pause as the drone contemplated intercepting the human male, but it knew that wasn't even close to threatening the Queen. If anything the drone would likely return to the nest and find a seventh drone had joined them. No, it had to fulfil the instinctive need that drove it to follow the woman.

Something about the tall brunette and her route was oddly familiar to the drone. As if it knew she always walked this way after working a late shift with the Queen. The drone could almost recall it as if it had walked with this woman on a night like this, but not as itself. It couldn't determine if it was drawn to this human by that familiarity or if it was drawn to her by how 'right' her pheromones smelled for what the drone needed to do next. As she rounded a corner and began walking through the dimly lit park in the town center, the drone knew it was now or never...

* * *

Rhiannon pulled her scarf tighter arou d her neck as the bitter chill of the night air made her nose and fingers feel awfullly numb. She hadn't minded walking home from  work when Luke or Mike would walk with her. But on her own? And with Laura acting so strange? It was profoundly uncomfortable regardless of how cold it was or wasn't. Rhiannon couldn't shake the feeling she was being watched but that was surely just a reasonable paranoia with every thing going on? She couldn't wait to get home to the safety of her apartment.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as she rounded the corner in the park and something leapt from he nearby bushes, tackling her to the ground. She let out a terrified squeal before she hit the ground and had the wind knocked out of her. Dazed by the blow, she flailed her arms as giant, blue, scaly claw clamped over her face and dragged her head first into the bushes. Her attempts at screaming were muffled by the monstrous hand, despite how hard she slapped, punched and shoved at it, the hand wouldn't release her. She kicked her legs, scattering dirt and flowers in their wake for whatever good it did. Maybe random passers-by would see the mess and come to her aid, as unlikely as that was a this hour...

Rhiannon's eyes widened with fear as she felt her attacker's other hand snatch at her waist followed by a rush of cold air on her hips. Her mind reeled, the creature was stripping her. And it was definitely a creature. Despite a vaguely humanoid silhouette, she could make out a glassy, translucent exoskeleton shimmering in the moon light. It's eyes glowed an eerie green and red as they leered at her from the darkness. Tears streamed from her eyes as the creature treated at the blouse of her work uniform, exposing her breasts and stomach to the cool night air.

Rhiannon pushed against the creature until her arms hurt. It was dragging her deep nto the plot of trees and bushes in the middle of the park where they couldn't be seen, then it would surely eat her or rip her to pieces. Surely that's what happened to Luke and Mike after all?

Satisfied with where they were, the creature hefted Rhiannon off her feet and pinned her against a large boulder. She tried to keep pushing it away but her arms were going limp. She had already run herself down at work, she had so little stamina left to resist with. Slowly the creature leaned in close, pressing its large, muscular body against her exposed flesh. Rhiannon trembled and continued her muffled shrieking. Being heard was the only thing that could save her now, but with the creature holding her face so tightly, someone would need to be very close to hear anything at all.

Rhiannon's screams turned to whimpers as the creature began to nuzzle at her neck, its lips gently tracing along her collarbone. Tears streamed down her eyes again as she felt its jaws slowly open. This was it, it was going to plunge those horrible fangs into her and rip her throat out like Dracula. Wincing, Rhiannon anticipated a painful bite that never came. Instead she shivered for a different reason as puckered lips kissed at her neck. There was an oddly pleasant prickle as its tongue slid across her neck. Slowly, as the creature continued to kiss her neck, Rhiannon lowered her arms and let her muscles relax.

Satisfied she was no longer fighting it, the creature released its hand from her face and moved to look her in the eye. Rhiannon gasped as its scaly hands gently ran up and down her sides. "You're uh... not so bad huh?" She whispered quietly, trying not to startle the creature. The creature replied simply by kissing her on the lips, it's tongue slowly snaking into her mouth as Rhiannon reciprocated. She'd kissed boys before but nothing had ever quite felt so nice. Despite the rough introduction, the creature seemed to be taking great care to make her feel... comfort? Pleasure? Every man she'd ever kissed had paid no heed to her own enjoyment, while this thing seemed to be prioritising that.

"Wow... wow..." She gasped as their lips finally broke apart, her whole mouth tickled with the after taste of the creature's Sour saliva and the same prickling feeling its tongue had made. Rhiannon felt a little light-headed, almost like being tipsy. "We're a uh, regular beauty and the beast huh?" She sighed. The moment she said it, Rhiannon was keenly aware of a warmth in her loins. She loved beauty and the beast. Especially the beast. It wasn't the furry, cursed prince from her fairy tale fantasy, but as she looked down to see its enormous cock brushing against her inner thigh, she couldn't help but wonder...

"Is that for me?" She whispered, carefully moving her right leg up to rest against the creature's flank. "Yes" Croaked the creature, one voice sounding oddly familiar and human while another echoed it with a beastly growl. Rhiannon felt a surge of warmth in her vagina as it grew increasingly moist. There was no denying the sudden yearning she had for her captor. Rhiannon struggled with getting aroused by men despite her attraction to them, it took a lot for sex to become an option to her. But this, right now? As crazy as it seemed, it felt so natural and right, like she'd never needed anything so badly in her life...

"Please..." She murmured, eyes widening as she slipped deeper into the haze of arousal couding her mind. Almost immediately, the creature pressed it's entire length into her. Rhiannon moaned and kicked as she pressed her hips up to meet it. There was a delicious slurp as the throbbing shaft glided into her, it's bony ridges caressing the inside of her pussy like no human cock ever could. As it began to slide out, Rhiannon kept bucking her hips up to it, her hands moving to clutch at the creature's shoulders. Immediately, the creature thrust back, its cock pressing into her once more. The force of its thrust pressed Rhiannon's curvy ass against the cold, rough surface of the rock beneath them. She let out an elated gasp and held the creature tighter, pressing her body against it. It repeated the motion, causing her to Arch her back and wail with glee. "Ohhh... oh God. Oh God..." again the creature thrust, it's hips grinding against Rhiannon's as she spread her legs wider. "Fuck. Oh fuuuck!" She cried out with an orgasmic moan as the creature's lips began to press against her left nipple while it thrust again. The gaps between its thrusts was getting shorter and Rhiannon's lust had reached a fever pitch in record time.

"Mmm yeah... yeah. You're my beast, you're my fucking beast!" She growled as their hips frantically collided with one another. The clouds were parting to let the light of the full moon shine down on them, allowing Rhiannon to admire the entirety of her inhuman lover. Under any other circumstances it probably would have been a horrifying sight, but right now? This was the kindest most enjoyable interaction she'd had since her friends disappeared. Rhiannon didn't mind admitting to herself she needed this. With a gentle push, she rolled the creature onto it's back.

"Submissive huh?" She moaned as she slowly reared up to straddle the creature "That's fucking hot" She continued. The creature bucked up hard, making her loudly cry out with an ecstatic moan.

"Yass girl, get it!" Shouted a voice from the other end of the park followed by several chuckles. Rhiannon blushed. Of course now someone could hear her. The creature remained unphased and bucked up harder, bouncing Rhiannon on its cock. She shrieked with glee and tried to bite her lip as she was met with more laughter and encouraging cheers as the voice from before moved further away. Rhiannon chuckled ad she rode harder, normally any infringement on her privacy was instant mood killer. But whatever the creature was doing to make her so attracted to it was all-consuming. She just needed more. She shrugged off the tattered remains of her blouse and jacket, casting them aside into the nearby bushes.

Her hands caressed the exposed ribs of its exoskeleton while it reached up to playfully knead her breasts. Rhiannon's eyes fluttered as the bony ridges on its cock nudged at her g-spot. Her mind was almost completely blank, her whole world was this moment and the erotic bliss bestowed upon her by this magnificent thing. She tried to speak but only guttural moans and unintelligible mumbling came out. Her vision was blurring as the creature continued to overwhelm her senses.

"Gonna. Gonna fucking... Ugh... cum. Cum. Want... cum" She managed to gasp between moans. She wanted this moment to last forever but she also wanted to be pushed over the brink into an orgasm the likes of which she'd never felt before. She wanted to suck this creature's cock and taste its cum as it splashes across her face. Again, completely at odds with her regular preferences but for this creature, in this moment, it's all she wanted.

At her insistence, the creature began furiously gyrating in and out of her. While the sudden erotic turn to the encounter had given Rhiannon's energy levels a considerable second wind, she was rapidly hitting her limit. Unable to keep herself up, she flopped around like a ragdoll until the creature rolled her onto her back. Her eyes rolled as her orgasm finally hit and crashed through every nerve in her body. Shuddering as it neared a climax of it's own, the creature cupped her head in its hand kissed her once again. Rhiannon groaned as several large globs spewed forth into her mouth and down her throat. Rhiannon was too exhausted to do anything but happily moan as she swallowed the slimy balls. Meanwhile, a giant bulge was shifting through the creature's cock and writhing into her. She leaned back and let out a final elated howl as what felt like a mass of wriggling snakes moved into her pussy and began spreading through her body. This last rush of sensations was too much, even for how willing Rhiannon's mind had been moments ago. With a shiver and a gasp, her word went dark as Rhiannon blacked out.

* * * As Laura in her human form led the drone formerly known as Warren into her kitchen, she paused to look at a mass of dried skin and bone scattered across the floor. In her gut, she knew this meant her first clutch had finished incubating.  She motioned Warren to wait for her as she gingerly stepped around the corner. Lying on the living room floor was the first drone she had implanted. It writhed as it slid free from layers of skin and extended bone, revealing its original self. Noting its balls had reverted to normal, Laura smiled a wide predatory grin.

"You've had a very big day haven't you my dear" She crooned "Yes... woods..." mewled the drone as it tried to get back on its feet. Laura stroked his cheek, turning his face to look her in the eye. "Well..." She purred with a wicked grin. "I think that needs a reward, don't you?" She continued. "How about you come join your new brother in pleasuring me upstairs hmm? After all, it's almost been a week since you got to have sex isn't it?" She purred, her body already beginning to shift back to its true form. The drone simply smiled and obediently followed her.

* * *

Rhiannon woke to the sound of trucks loudly honking outside. She blinked as she ran her fingers through her hair and rolled over to look a the time on her alarm clock. Eleven AM. How had she slept so late and come to think of it how did she even get home? The last thing she could clearly remember was...

"Beauty and the beast" echoed the memory of her voice. A flash of vivid images of her and monster fucking in the park. Rhiannon blinked again. Surely that was a dream, an odd enjoyable dream... had she completely blanked on coming home, getting changed and flopping into bed? Maybe so. Stress could do that, right?

Flinging the covers aside, she sat up and slipped her robe on so she had a little more to keep her warm than just a tank top and shorts. It was the darnedest thing, she was usually slow to get out of bed. But today? Except for a slight throbbing in the back of her head, she'd never felt so fit or invigorated this early in the morning.

Tutting at herself for leaving a window half open overnight, she closed it back up and moved to her kitchen where she then set her kettle boiling. Maybe today would be a good day after all, she thought. While she stood there flexing her arms and fingers, there was a knock at the door. Normally she would have tried to talk to the visitor through the door, but today Rhiannon felt more confident and sure of herself than ever before. Opening the door wide, she was met with the sight of her neighbour, Josh, standing in the hall outside.

"Josh! Hi!" She said with a big smile. "Uh hey Rhi" he replied, nervously running a hand through his short, coppery hair. "Look I uh, I hate to ask but last night you made a bit of a racket when you got home. I know it's been a rough week, but if you could um... y'know. Not so loud in future?" Rhiannon couldn't help but notice him ogling her cleavage through the folds of her robe. That it was clearly throwing him off made her smile. "Oh my, I am so sorry! It won't be a problem, Josh, I'd hate to keep you up" She replied, shifting her posture so that her right leg poked out from her robe all the way up to her thigh. Josh struggled to not be too obvious that his eyes were now roaming up and down that leg.

"Oh, no..  well I also just wanted to see how you're going y'know. Seems like you could really use a friend right now" he ventured "You know, I really do need that right now" said Rhiannon with an enthusiastic nod "Do you wanna maybe come in for a bit?"

Continued in Chapter 4 - Human Resources

[mistwraiths]

2.5 stars

Me and this book did not get along.

I like vampires, I like fantasy, I love magical competitions/trials. However, I found this book to be dreadfully boring. I wasn't entertained while reading it nor was I ever on the edge of my seat, nor did I find myself caring about the characters at all. So instead it just felt way, way too long.

The worldbuilding is paper thin. If at any point I asked myself a single question about anything in this book, it made a plot hole. We're told multiple times the human districts is "protected" but our main character kills like 5 vampires a night feeding on people and NEVER even thinks about why or how or where's the protection, instead just pats herself on the back. What were the Hijai and Rishan vampires fighting for?? Like they're both Nightborn??? What's the point of the goddess doing this competition every 100 years??? Like she's gives a gift but what's she's getting out of it?? Why did it start? She's not a loving goddess either so like why do they love her??? Why are these vampires living literally in the desert?? How are they able to literally leave the castle during the competition??? How is the king not supplying Oraya with poison filled blades not cheating?? How is an ATTACK on the goddess' own palace during HER competition not sacrilegious and despite her activity, she does NOTHING????? I could go on.

This book doesn't have bad writing by any means. It absolutely is plot-driven more and while I could punch holes through things, I can appreciate the fantasy. I like that Oraya struggled with grief of a death of a friend. Vincent was by far the most interesting character. I loved that he did truly love her and while he wasn't a GOOD man, he did what he believed he needed to do. And I loved that Oraya loved him despite grappling with the horror of what he's done. But honestly it does feel like Oraya never really actually put thought about anything or anyone.

Raihn. Look, I like him, I do. But BOY does he have the "I'm not like other men/other vampires" going SO HARD for him. He's not Born, he's Turned. He's rugged, not beautiful. He cares about humans. He's nice. Etc, etc. And of course, he's keeping secrets too. He's Rishan, which of course is her father's enemy. I found it also a weird choice that when they finally group together, the author chooses to skip time to be like "they trained for 3 weeks" and we miss at least a CHUNK of them possibly beginning to know each other.

Other than Vincent, Raihn, and Mische, there's really no other characters that matter. Mische I found almost juvenile at best, really you're laughing at anyone who makes a sound like flatulence?? We don't get to spend a lot of time with her before she's sidelined anyways. Oraya is an okay character. I liked her but never loved her.

How things happened and ending was fairly predictable. Nothing was truly very shocking. It also lasts longer than it should. But it IS a little funny how hypocritical it turns when Raihn like WELL POWER IS A BLOODY BUSINESS and it's clear the city is being attacked within likely both vampires and humans which is the same thing Raihn didn't agree with. And is like well we'll change it AFTER. Like sir you aligned yourself with the House of Blood who aren't good and you abandoned your people so they don't want you either? And then Oraya is forced to marry, locked in her room with FOUR locks on the outside and cursed windows (but she's not a prisoner?) and her throne is stolen after the love of her life murders her father on front of her. I'm sure it'll all be fine and forgiven though in the next book.

This was just a very average fantasy book. I absolutely can see why people would love this!!! I just couldn't help being BORED and couldn't help questioning things that didn't make sense while reading this.