#// but clearly more sad and heartbroken

[serial-designation-vee]

"I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you...

I'll do anything for you to see you smile..."

[silverysongs]

i feel like people (on my dash) aren't talking about so long, london and it's the song that means the most to me. like I full-on wept in my car today listening to it

[skunkg1rll]

...

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

I'm that type of romantic that actually was really touched about the small things about Colin "Last of the Romantics'' Bridgerton: - Colin defending her, telling her he loved her first and being silly just to make her laugh, happy to dance with her and make her feel beautiful and loved, already so excited that he acts like she's already Mrs. Bridgerton and once she actually is, he clearly loves saying "My wife", being happy to show her their home together; - Colin making sure their first time was good for her, making all about her pleasure and taking pleasure on her enjoyment, reassuring her all the way through and after ; - Colin not being able to pretend he's unhappy about marrying her, encouraging her to come to him at the altar. He was an emotional mess because he loves her and it showed, from his smile, dancing with her, to kissing her and caressing her face: - Colin repressing himself, trying not to sleep with her not because he doesn't love or desire her but because he is the type of guy that needs them to be perfectly connected for that, because that's how it was with her, he loves her and when they did make love it was a complete connection to him and anything less taints what they have, if he still has negative feelings and doubts, but being "weak" when she says i love you, his brain short-circuits and his heart and body acted; - Colin feeling lonely and admitting to himself that it was mostly because Pen didn't reply to his letters, him keeping her letters, and smiling to himself while he reads it; - Colin so heartbroken and sad and yet he is there, in their home, sleeping on that fucking couch but there, not on the streets making her feel insecure about his whereabouts; - Colin learning to love equally, accepting and respecting, admiring her, taking pleasure on her success, unafraid of confessing his feelings and his issues, letting himself be helped and loved back... Those are a few of the things that i love about Colin this season...yes, he lashed out unfairly sometimes, he was stubborn and had his ego bruised at times, but he learned and he never stopped trying to protect her, even if with the wrong approach at times. That, my friends, means to me way more than many sex scenes. But that's just me, i like the details, the in between the lines.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Dauntless Matchmaker Part 2

Danny knew that his strange new boss was rich. He figured that much out by the overly priced suit and the wad of cash, but when he followed him into an Uber, he never thought he would wind up at the Waynes.

Everyone knew who the Waynes were. Danny personally thought it was no exaggeration when people called Bruce Wayne the Prince of Gotham.

He thought it fit the lovable man far more than the title of White Knight. It wasn't that Bruce didn't do the most out of all the ultra-rich to help the city, but rather, it mirrored the Dark Knight too much.

Danny thinks Bruce Wayne and Batman were too different to be compared like that. At least Mr. Wayne is real.

"Welcome home, Master Damian." The butler said as soon as the two walked through the door. His intrigued eyes slowly glanced at Danny, causing the teenager to stand straighter. "And who might our guest be?"

"I believed he was here for Drake." The young boy- apparently named Damian, fibs. Danny is a little impressed that he can sound so uncaring about what is happening despite being the whole reason he is here.

Danny knows that his job is to fool the butler and act like he isn't very aware of Damian. He offers the man his best smile. "Yeah, I came to see Tom. "

The older gentleman raises a brow while Damian shoots him a look of utter venom. Danny fights the urge to cower underneath the boy's displeasure. That is one nasty scowl the boy had.

"I am afraid Master Tim, is currently unavailable in his room"

Aw, crude, he said the wrong name. "Um, I know he said he needed a few minutes to get ready, but I was allowed to go up to his room. I'm sorry, sir I'm a little nervous."

"I see," The other says carefully before sharing a look with Damian. There is a moment where the two just stare at each other, and after a few small hand signs- sign language, maybe?- the butler clears his throat.

"That's quite alright, young man. You may go to Master Tim's room. It's up the main stairway on the third level, fifth door on the right."

Danny practically ran to the stairs, throwing a quick "Thank you, sir!" as he scurried away from the Butler and his boss. The boy still looked greatly displeased with his performance.

He prays he gets better at it once he speaks with Tom-er Tim and gets their story straight. Curious, He glances around, taking in the tasteful night pictures of Gotham City and the scattered few statues.

His breath catches when he sees a large frame photo of a man lying on an old couch looking into the far distance, his smile curving with mischievous glee and the sunlight reflecting the blue of his eyes.

There is a background of an old library, but the sun streaming through the window drapes him with a glow that makes the other man seem otherworldly.

It feels like it should be a painting, but it is so clearly a photograph that Danny has half a mind to wonder if someone who looked like that could possibly be real.

"Wow." He breathes, stepping closer to the frame.

"Wow, yourself." A gruff voice suddenly says, making Danny jump. Whirling around, he finds a boy about his age leaning on the doorframe.

It takes Danny a moment to realize that he is the subject of the art he was just admiring. But while the teenager in the photo seemed like a visiting angel, draped gracefully put together the teenager before him is, in a slight word, a mess.

He was wearing an oversized, fluffy, red open bathrobe. He seemed to only bother to slip on some baggy sweatpants and one sock. His hair didn't seem to have been combed in days, and there were dreadful bags underneath his eyes.

Despite that, Danny felt his heart flutter slightly when he made eye contact with the other.

"Who are you?" The stranger asks, voice a soft mutter.

"Um...I'm looking for Tim?"

"You found him." There is a half smile, but it falls quickly as the boy's demeanor seems to grow sad. Welp, his boss did say he was recently heartbroken.

"Oh great! I was told by Damian to do this when I found you." He places his hand on the wall, knocking six times, pausing for a few seconds, then knocking four.

Tim's face flashes through emotions faster than Danny can understand before the other teens' eyes water. That's all the warning he gets just as Tim bursts into tears.

He has no idea what's happening, but Danny's protective core has him rushing forward to bring the sobbing boy into his arms. He fumbles for a few seconds, unsure if it's welcome, until Tim melts into him, sobbing softly into his chest.

"It's okay. Shh. Shhhh. It's alright, everything will be alright. Why don't we head to your room?"

"Okay," The other whimpers. Danny helps him to his room, trying his best to offer as much support as possible. He is just starting to wonder if he should offer to get him some water or something when Tim kicks the door close, and the tears are all gone.

"Alright, we managed to fool Alfred. He was watching from the stairway," Tim whispers, leaning in close to Danny's face. He gave the startled half-ghost a sneer. "Now, who are you, and why did Damian send you to be my fake boyfriend?"

"Wait, you guys have a code for fake dating? That's what that was?"

"That's not important. I want to know what your objective is."

Danny tells him everything that Damian has told him since finding him. It's only been a few hours since he was fired and since he was taken by Damian.

Tim took it all in without much emotion.

"So you're here as my pity date to get Alfred to leave me alone? And was the Demon Brat the one to hire you? A likely story."

"No, I swear everything I've said is true."

"Oh, and I bet Batman is going to come out of the closet, too," The other said, rolling his eyes.

Danny frowns. "Batman isn't real."

At once, Tim's entire body seemed to have frozen. He blinks slowly, almost as if he is delayed in the reaction. "What did you just say?"

"Batman isn't real," Danny repeats slower, suddenly afraid for Tim's mental health. Next thing he knows, Tim will say the tooth fairy is real.

"Yes, he is."

"No, that's what the government wants you to think so they can hunt him down."

Tim blicks even slower before a blush starts to climb along his cheekbones. He reaches up to play with the hair at the back of his neck. "If that's true, then what is Batman really?"

"A ghost," Danny says confidently and Tim's face grows even redder. It's....endearing.

"You're weird," Tim says, looking away. His gaze lands on a hanging mirror, seemingly taken aback by his reflection. "Oh, I haven't showered in a few days, have I? Do you mind?"

Danny shakes his head, smiling. "No, go ahead. "

Noehter notices the small boy who moves away from Tim's door. And if that boy happened to be pumping his fist into the air in celebration well, that's no one business but Damian's

[love-byers]

(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

[angrygirlromero]

OCEAN EYES

Summary: In which the son of the God of thieves, is head over heels in love with the daughter of the sea God.

Warnings: possible grammar mistakes.

Pairing: Luke x daughter of Poseidon x Little brother Percy

------------------------------------------------------------

Luke Catellan could remember much more than clearly the first time time he set eyes upon his precious Marella, the way all the campers ran to the Lake to watch the arrival of the God and Goddess of the sea, and in between them was a breathtaking little girl clinging on to her father and mother's hands.

Luke had never seen a goddess before but in that moment Amphitrite looked as if her heart had been torn from her chest, and Poseidon held a serious face. Luke observed from the sidelines next to Annabeth as Mr. D and Chiron went out on the deck to meet then, Chiron bowing his head in pure respect to the God of the sea.

All the campers observed the scene before them, the short exchange of words between Gods, Luke's eyes completely glued to the little girl who stood with pure elegance between her parents, a heartbroken look on her face, causing Luke's heart to pain at her displeasure.

Soon enough the Sea God passed a small bag of some sort to Chiron, as he let out a harsh sigh looking over to his wife who was on the verge of tears, he watched Poseidon fall to his knees before the little girl, stopping for a moment to touch her face before embracing the small girl in a hug, his wife cried next to him lowering herself as well pressing a kiss to her husband's bastard's face, she muttered soft words of reassurance to the girl before her husband gently began pulling her away

The entire camp watched as Mr. D offered the crying girl his hand allowing him to guid her to her Cabin, Luke watched as Poseidon and Amphitrite walked back into the lake, sad looks displayed on both of their Godly faces.

"Hey Luke, are you okay?" asked Percy Jackson his bright blue orbs looking up at him, the same eyes that would look up at him with such love and adoration any other day, as they had been heading towards lunch, "yeah, sorry about that buddy" said the Hermes boy before replacing his emotionless face with his usual bright smile.

"He's probably daydreaming about his precious Ocean Princess" said Chris with a teasing laugh, causing Luke to give him a death glare, "ocean Princess?" asked Percy, "Yeah, actually she's the reason he was late to training this morning" teased the Hermes boy.

Percy gave Luke a look of confusion causing him to sigh, "Marella, she's the daughter of the sea god" explained Luke to the young boy, "She's Poseidon's kid?" asked Percy, "I thought you said Zeus, Poseidon and Hades weren't allowed to have children."

"they aren't that's why they are called forbidden kids, Thalia was the first of them, but when Poseidon found out he felt threatened so he decided to get back at Zeus and he had a daughter as well who he made a gift to his wife" stated Chris, "So if she was gift to Amphitrite how did she end up here?" asked Percy trying to keep up with the older boys pace.

"Zeus found out and thought his brother's actions disrespectful, but when he found out the demigod was a little girl he didn't have the heart to kill her, so he demanded she be taken to camp, Amphitrite begged him not to take her away, but her sadness was more than enough punishment for Poseidon" explained Luke, stopping in his tracks a huge smile forming on his face.

Percy turned his head to look at what he was looking at, there in the water stood a girl, her hips swaying from side to side, her long curly hair passing her lower back swaying with her movements, her hands moving in graceful motions, her writs, ankles, waist and neck adorned with different types of shell bracelets and necklaces, the water around glowed and splashed along side her movements.

"Whoah" breathed out Percy, causing Chris to laugh as he watched Luke walk down to the edge on the lake, standing behind her, Percy observed the small fishes swimming around her following her movements and the soft humming passing her lips.

And soon enough the girl came to a halt slowly turning to see Luke standing there with a stupid grin on his face, Percy was quick to take notice to the way her glowing eyes soon came to a light blue shade, a spitting image of his own.

The new camper watched the girl graceful move her hand out towards the lake signaling for the fish to return to their activities, she smiled at Luke her beautiful dimples forming on both sides of her face causing Luke's heart to race, as she so gracefully made her way out of the water to where Luke stood.

Percy watched the girl raise her hand up to Luke's hight to softly sooth her thumb over Luke's scar, Percy couldn't believe his eyes as he watched his new found friend melt by just the touch of the pretty girl's fingers, she said something to Luke but Percy couldn't hear from his stance next to Chris.

He watched the short girl giggle at something his friend said before the older boy quickly ran over to where some navy blue flip-flops laid on the beach the pretty slippers also adorned with shells, he quickly placed them down for her to put on, before offering her his arm which she accepted with a smile before Luke guided her in their direction.

"He's so wiped" stated Percy, "I know" said Chris his eyes following the pair as they finally reached them, "Ella" greeted Chris doing a playful bow in respect of her, causing her to laugh, "always the jest Chris" she said her thick English accent rolling effortlessly off her tongue.

"Oh Princess, this is Percy Jackson the new camper I was telling you about, the one that killed the minotaur" explained Luke to Marella, "oh yes, the one the Ares kids have been speaking of, it is a true pleasure to finally meet you Percy" she said with a pretty smile.

“I- it’s a pleasure to meet you too, your highness?” Said Percy his mouth hanging open slightly at his lack of words, the girl simply giggled at the boys reaction, “please, just call me Ella these two are simply messing around about the princess thing” explained the girl, “well it’s nice to meet you too Ella”

——————————————————————————

The next day after Percy's incident in the bathroom he had gotten up early before his other fellow campers and made his way out to the lake, walking out to the dock Percy soon took notice to the curly haired girl seated to the very end of it with her feet hanging off the very edge into the water.

"Hey" greeted Percy causing her to turn to face him, she beamed up at him, "Good Morning sleepyhead" she greeted patting the empty space next to her, turning back to watch the sun continue to rise.

Percy smiled quickly occupying the empty space, mumbling a small good morning under his breath, "Why are you up so early?" asked the girl swirly her feet in the water. Percy glanced down and his brows lifted in surprise as he was met with the sight of baby tadpoles following her motions in the water.

"I guess I couldn't sleep, um this girl last night, Annabeth she said I was gonna help her win today?" said the unsure boy scratching the back of his head in confusion.

Ella let out a little laugh at his words, "Oh that Annabeth always three paces ahead of everyone" sighed out the ocean beauty before leaning back bracing herself on her palms, "You know her?" asked Percy, "Everyone at camp knows Annabeth she's been here for ages along with Luke, she's led the blue team into victory three straight times" stated the older girl.

"So that's what she was talking about me being on their team?" asked Percy, "Most likely" she responded, "Are you on our team? I'm just guessing because you and Luke seem very close..." rambled the young boy.

Ella chuckled at his words, "No love, I'm not allowed to part take in such sport" she explained, "Because you're a forbidden kid?" "Not really, let's just say if I was allowed it wouldn't be much of a competition" Ella shrugged, "So I'm guessing because there is no other living forbidden children here to compete with me, Chiron asked me quite politely to not take part in it" she explained.

"Oh that makes sense" said Percy take a glance at the girl before turning back to the sunrise fiddling with his fingers, "I um have a question and I really hope you don't mind me asking, but Chris told me you were raised by Poseidon and Amphitrite..." Ella took a deep breath before replying, "You wish to know how it happened?" she asked to which Percy quickly nodded.

"When my father found out of Thalia's being he thought her a threat, and felt betrayed by his brother so he decided if Zeus was calling another war, he would also have his warrior. I don't know much of my biological mother but from what my father has told me she adored the ocean and for her dedication and love to it Poseidon gifted her the opportunity to be my mother, and when the time came he took me to Atlantis and there Amphitrite took me and raised and loved me as her own, but when Zeus found out of my being, he found me a threat to his throne, he believed my father was plotting against him, so he banished me here to camp where I am not allowed to go past the border, I am forbidden to see my father but Zeus allows my mother to visit me at least once a year" spoke Ella as Percy listened intently.

"that's not fair, to have you ripped away from your family and home" stated Percy his brows now frowned in sadness, "It does not matter what is fair, the Gods do not care, either ways Zeus was smart to take me away from them, my father has been preparing me to win a war since I took my very first step, and my mother has taught me to rule, Zeus was smart with his actions, besides if I wasn't banished I wouldn't have met any of you guys" smiled the girl which Percy hesitated before returning.

"Come on now little one we must get you breakfast, after all you have have long day ahead of you” said Ella lifting her hand to rub Percy's hair causing him to laugh, maybe he could find his place here after all.

------------------------------------------------------------

Ella resigned in her cabin alone as always, a book in hand as she laid on her bed waiting patiently for Luke to come seek her out and tell her all about his win, how she adored to listen to the charming Hermes boy ramble to her about anything and everything, just having the opportunity to look at his handsome face and listen to his attractive voice was more than enough to satisfy her.

Hearing the sound of her cabin door opening she placed her her book down to the side sitting up to face the intruder, "Ella, Chiron is looking for you" spoke Annabeth from the doorway a strange look on her face, "Why, what's the matter Beth?" asked Ella.

"It's Percy he's been claimed" stated Annabeth taking short steps forward, Ella smiled to the Athena girl "That's marvelous news, but what's the matter then Beth?" asked the daughter of Poseidon to the pride of Athena "Ella... he's been claimed by Poseidon, Percy is your brother."

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Past, Present and that of Space

Masterlist

Dead-ends and Surprise Visits

“Alrightie, Duke your classes don't start for an hour right, LightBrite?” Duke snorted, nodding as he got comfortable pulling his blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Good good, should be enough time, ehhhh maybe we'll see, anyway!!” 

Harley snagged a cookie munching on it before she began. “Sooo years ago before I was a doctor and your daddio a crime-fighting college drop-out vigilante, we went to Gotham Uni. Bruce had been studying to be a Doctor like your granddaddy, so all of us had the same base classes. We actually had a study group and we'll as a ‘Fuck Professor Tanner’ club.

We met in advanced Calculus, I sucked and Brucie was my seat buddy along with Vladdie. After a bad failed test on my part and Professor Tanner purposely marking the others down, we formed a spite study group. I dragged Crane into it and Vlad pulled Jackie and Mads in! It kinda cemented our friendships a bit!” Harley snorted, shaking her head while reminiscing on the old days.

“Jackie, Mads, and Vladdie we're going for Doctorates in Science and Engineering. Jackie was more towards Engineering that was his crazy strong point while Mads and Vladdie were genius to boot. Would've fit in very well with your bunch now that I think ‘bout it! It grew a pretty decent friend group between us. Of course Brucie dropped out after that year, but Crane and I stayed pretty close with them. It was our final year when a lot of drama happened.” Harley sighed before grabbing her Tea cup downing it.

“The three of them were convinced that another universe lay parallel to ours. Called it the Ghost Zone, they'd been attempting to make a portal to it for months. Then the accident happened, it exploded and Vlad got carted off campus, didn’t see him again after that. He transferred out and last we heard he went to Wisconsin. Jackie and Mads were heartbroken, they’d been friends for a while at that point and losing Vlad made them a little unstable. Not ya know, rouge unstable but they started designing weapons to hunt ghosts. Caught some attention shortly before graduation and got a couple grants, they were really ecstatic. They left soon after we graduated, Jackie proposed and Mads said yes, went back to Mads hometown for the wedding. I got invited but at that point I was already at Arkham and well, you know my story already.” 

Tim stopped his note taking, looking up at Harley, who seemed slightly trapped in thought. He coughed slightly, breaking her out of her remembrance of who Harleen Quinzel used to be. 

“Ghost Zone? Huh? Weird niche of all things but ya know, we dress up and go fight crime nightly.” Duke elbowed him teasingly as he ate a cookie, and Tim rolled his eyes. “Right, right I forgot one of us is  a weirdo and patrols during the day time!”

“Oi! At least I don’t have an ugly ass cowl, owl head ass.” Tim gave him the dirtiest look, already calculating how far Duke dropped on his favorite sibling list.

“Congrats Duke, Damian has officially passed you on my favorite siblings list. It’s a sad day when two siblings drop below the one that has stabbed me multiple times.” Duke went to respond but was cut off by Harley’s barking laughter. Harley was bent over holding her stomach laughing so hard Duke contemplated running to get a cure for Joker Venom, but seeing the satisfied look on Tim’s face calmed him. Tim’s plan to distract her clearly worked, besides he had enough to work on now.

Of course Danny had contact with the Realms, his parents succeed in making their portal after all. 

Alfred hummed lowly to himself as he entered his bedroom for a short break. He set the tea tray down before pulling out both his chairs and sitting down.

“You were cutting it close you know, old friend.” He sipped his tea slowly before looking up at the person now sitting in the chair across from him. “You’ve set my charges into a protective mode that will lead to less sleep. Honestly the extra stress you’ve added to my plate with this stunt.”

“Apologies are in order for that, you know I should not interfere too often. Their eyes weren’t on me for only a few seconds, talking with Young Timothy was not possible.” His form shifted and Alfred hummed taking in the appearance of the elderly man in front of him.

“Your form has changed. I see you added to your family circle, congratulations.” Clockwork chuckled knowing he had taken some aspects from the kids he had practically adopted when they were fourteen.

“Indeed, not as many as your brood, but I am content. They have fine futures, fine futures indeed.”

“I see, and their futures are now intertwined with my charges.”

“Yes they are, we will be seeing more of each other in the future. Young Timothy will get along very well with my Phantom. They will be a force to be reckoned with.”

“Dear Clockwork, I believe they are on their own, together they could rule the multiverse.” Clockwork and Alfred were silent for a while, simply enjoying tea together. However he was the first to break their silence with a chuckle.

“I believe you are quite right Alfred. Quite right indeed.”

Dani typed silently on her phone as she sprawled across Danny’s back. The other Halfa too busy editing a video to pay attention to her. The others in their family were in varying places of Fenton Works but the two self-proclaimed siblings had holed up in Danny’s room. At first they simply sat staring at the ceiling, or rather staring into space, literally. After discovering Danny was the new Ancient of Space came even more power training that had Danny wish to rip his hair out.

Danny had discovered the ability to make a rift that could remain open until he willed it away, it was unlike portals that he needed to concentrate on to keep open. No those portals were Dani’s expertise, able to portal them to any place and even universes. Danny’s rifts allowed him direct access to space, and since discovering it his ceiling had been a constant show of the different galaxies that graced their universe. So often the others would come to call them for dinner and find the two’s eyes locked on their stars.

Val often joked that Dani’s love for space came from her template. Of course Dani wasn’t as crazy about space as Danny was but she still loved it. Dani paused her typing looking up at the ceiling for a moment before grinning.

“Danny, I have a great idea. Our next video should be in space.” Danny stopped editing mind racing between different ideas before his core was vibrating so hard in excitement that he was purring. Dani’s mirth couldn’t be contained as her body took flight lifting off him and towards the rift. “We could do so much!”

“Visiting other planets!”

“Space fights!”

“A day in the life with off-world species!”

“Jumping universes! People will lose their minds if we go to the ‘Futurama’ universe!”

“Oh my crown Dani! The possibilities are endless!!” Danny laughed as he took flight playfully taking the girl out of the air, both phasing through his bedroom floor and bouncing off the couch as they began a mini fight. Wes watched them amused as he paused his show, thankful he was sitting fully to the left of the couch and not in the middle. “Black holes! We can explore black holes!!” Danny announced laughing as he got Dani into a headlock only for her to phase out and land a hard elbow to his gut.

“Yes! Oooooh I want to kick you into a black hole so bad!!” We can cut the video there and the next one can be you in the Futurama Universe trying to find your way back!!” The two cackled together as their fighting amped up. 

“That is a pretty good idea.” Wes hummed, blinking as mischievous eyes locked on him. “Don’t even think about it you two.” He warned as they started grinning, he threw himself to the side flipping over the arm of the couch as they lunged at him phasing through and landing on the other side in a crouch. “Damnit!” Wes yelled as he scrambled up taking off up the stairs. The two grin as they jumped flying up through the floor to the hallway waiting to ambush him, only to be surprised when the front door slammed shut.

“Did he just?” Dani asked as she stuck her head through the wall Danny followed a second later as they watched Wes booking it down the street.

“He just juked us. Oh we gotta get him now!” The two flew through the wall, not even transforming as they rushed after him, waving to a few people who called out to them. Jack and Maddie watched them go from where they were unloading groceries from the Fenton Ghost Assault vehicle.

“Oh I hope they have fun hunting Wes!” Jack said with a laugh as Maddie slid a fifth bag onto his right arm. “Ah these kids keep up young Mads!” Maddie laughed leaning up and kissing his cheek as she grabbed the last four bags and locked the assault vehicle.

“Those kids of ours they really do, and they’re all growing up and breaking my heart! I wish we could have more.” Maddie said with a small laugh as Jack wiggled his eyebrows at her, Tucker opened the door for them as they approached and Maddie kissed his forehead in thanks as they walked to the kitchen. “Thank you Tucker dear. Are Sam and Val here?” Tucker nodded following them after he took some bags from Jack.

“Yes, they’re in the kitchen waiting to help with groceries. I was gonna let the other three know but Danny and Dani were having one of their bonding fights, then Wes got dragged into it.” Jack laughed as he put the last bags on the counter.

“We saw that! If it wasn’t for the groceries I had I would’ve ran after to join them! It's that Fenton blood after all!” Maddie chuckled, sharing a look with Sam before she moved over to the fridge starting to clean it out.

“And the fact that ghosts literally bond through fighting, it's like another language to them.” Val said with a chuckle as she unpacked some bags. “How about spaghetti tonight?” Moving aside the needed ingredients as agreements rang out from the room. “Sweet, is it alright if I invite my dad? He makes some mean garlic bread.”

“Of course Val! You’re our kid now and that makes him a Fenton too! The more the merrier!” Jack said moving over to pull out the needed cooking utensils. Sam was quick to take them from him, shooing him away while waving a spatula.

“I’ll invite my grandma over too. She made cookies yesterday and wanted more people to try her new recipe. I’ll make dinner with Tucker, you two aren’t allowed to make food anymore after those hot dogs took over the town.” Jack held his hands up defensively with a laugh as Maddie didn’t make eye contact with anyone.

“In my defense we didn’t know they were hot dogs from the Infinite Realms!”

“We came back to them trying to sacrifice Lancer, Dash and Kwan to their god.” Val said deadpan remembering the return home from their senior trip. “I smelled like hot dog water for weeks. I couldn’t look people in the eye anytime they questioned the smell.” Maddie couldn’t hold back her snort as she continued to not look at them. He shoulders shaking as she remembered the look on their kids faces the moment they stepped through the portal in front of City Hall. Laughter finally burst from her lips as she shook her head sitting on the floor in front of the fridge.

“Your faces that day!! You all, you all looked so done!” Soon everyone joined in laughing with Maddie as they remembered that day and the fight that followed.

“What's so funny?” Danny asked from the doorway Dani standing next to him with a slightly bruised and pouting Wes slung over her shoulder. Everyone turned to them laughter pausing for a second before they just laughed harder remembering when the biggest hot dog attempted to eat Danny.

Universe Hopping and Reunion Trip Planning

[am-i-interrupting]

hazbin hotel vees who cheat on their s/o bc they just wanted to hurt them and manipulate them but instead of crying or yelling heir s/o legit laughs when they find out and then dump their ass bc they won't waste their tears on them? sorry I just dumped by bf bc he cheated on me and I'm a little sad and need a confidence boost

The one time I will add in Valentino. I don’t normally write for Valentino but for this one, I absolutely will.

Valentino

He’s not as secretive as he thinks he is.

Not that you think he was trying to be secretive.

You knew getting into a relationship with him that he would still be having sex with other people.

That wasn’t the problem.

The problem was when he’d act like that wasn’t exactly what he was about to do.

Then he’d come back just smelling of sex. Of course, that was normal for him but it always felt different those times.

It was when you figured out that he was going out to abuse Angel that you stopped caring.

You just waited. You wanted him to be the one to bring it up or slip up badly enough that it was extra fucking obvious.

It wasn’t long until that happened.

“I know.” “You— what? You already knew?” “Yeah, I did.” “Well, where are the tears, muñeca?”

You laughed.

“You wanted to cry? Cry over what? You? No. No, I’m not crying over a rat like you.”

He seethed when you called him a rat. His eyes narrowing.

“I have nothing to cry over except the abuse you put me and Angel through but I’m done doing that too. I’m gone and so is he.” “And how do you intend to do that?”

Not even a week later, his studio got blown up.

Velvette

She’d been acting weird lately.

You noticed it in the way she’d turn her phone away from you when she was on it.

She started going out more.

She started. . . wearing a different perfume?

Which was odd. She never strayed from her favorites.

Then she left her phone in the room with you, unlocked and facing up. It chimed.

Not wanting her to miss something urgent (as this was her business phone) you picked up.

It was not a business message.

You just stared at it. She came in the room.

“You got a message,” you told her as you handed her the phone. You silently got up. “I’m going to go pack.”

“Why are you doing that?” “Because I’m leaving.” “That’s it? That’s all the reaction I’m getting? Shouldn’t you be heartbroken?” “Why should I be heartbroken over someone who clearly doesn’t love me?”

Vox

Vox was probably the most successful at keeping his secrets.

He’s a very busy man so him working over time for multiple days in a row is nothing that isn’t normal.

It’s when you go into his camera room and see the security feeds still playing that those over time hours click in your head as to not being over time.

You’d come into the security room to try to convince him to come back on time but clearly, he wasn’t over working himself as much as you thought.

You sunk in his chair and watched, watched him flirt and tease and kiss and touch.

You felt anger bubbling up inside yourself.

You were angry, angry that your time and care had so clearly been disrespected and disregarded.

Slowly, you got up as you heard footsteps, his footsteps come closer.

He opened the door and closed it, leaned against it and sighed. You knew that sigh. It was his content one.

Well, if he was so content without you.

You began walking towards the door and that’s when he noticed you. He opened his arms with a grin.

“Darling, what are you— oh shit.”

You brushed past him and yanked open the door.

“See how well you do without me.”

The door slammed shut.

[babyleostuff]

Hiii!!! so I just read your cheol fic when he was being a dick for his s/o caring (it hurts... it's the beginning of the title, sorry brain is fried from uni) I was wondering if we could get the in-between of the fight like in the practice room after s/o left and everyone was shocked. mingyu fought him?? like gotta know what happened, anyway sorry if this is too long

hope yoyr day, night, evening, morning, or whatever time it is for you is going well!! your writing is so captivating too btw

-Nabi

thank you so much for your request 💜 hope you enjoy this!

you can find part 1 here

HURTS SO BAD | PART 2 | CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

summary | seungcheol’s pov from my previous fic

genre | angst

word count | 1k

pairing | choi seungcheol x gn!reader

“Fuck you, Seungcheol.”

Instantly, as these words escaped your mouth, he regretted every single thing he just said, praying that he could somehow turn back time. But there was nothing he could do now, the damage was done, and he simply watched you leave with a heartbroken expression.

He wanted nothing more than to crumble into a small ball and hide somewhere far from here. 

Despite the music still playing from the speakers, the silence in the room was almost deafening. Seungcheol could feel the hard stares from the boys, as they tried to wrap their heads around what just happened. 

“Did you actually lose your mind?” Jeonghan was the first to speak up. Seungcheol didn’t dare to look up and face the disappointed expressions of his friends. 

“Never in all those years we have been together have you ever said anything so cruel, no matter how fuck up things were. And now you lash out at your, mind you, partner for being worried about you?” Jeonghan scoffed, clearly angry at his bandmate. 

Seungcheol knew that there was nothing he could say or do to make this situation better, he only stood there with hunched shoulders and a tight throat. 

“What has gotten into me,” he thought.

Yes, he was stressed as hell, and everything irritated him lately, but he swore he would never take his anxiety out on you. Well, until now. 

The jacket you threw at him caught his attention, laying abandoned on the floor. Is this how you feel right now - left behind and neglected, by the person who was supposed to love you no matter what? He took a step to pick it up, still feeling the warmth of your body coming from it. 

“I’m going to fix this,” Seungcheol said quietly, putting the fabric to his chest. 

“Did I hear you right, hyung? You’re going to make it right?” laughed Mingyu, approaching the older one. “You just yelled at your partner and told them the worst things you could have ever possibly said. We can put up with your bitchy behavior, but that’s not an excuse to treat them like shit,” he said, clearly very agitated by the whole affair. 

“Let it go Mingyu, he knows what he has done. It’s his problem now how he’s going to get out of this shit,” said Jihoon, putting an arm on the taller’s shoulder to calm him down. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact that he just basically emotionally abused one of my best friends.” 

“Hey, don’t you fucking dare saying I abused them in any way,” Seungcheol raised his voice at at younger boy, his emotions getting out of hand. “I know what I have done, and I’m going to make it right again,” he said, not exactly convinced himself. 

“So what, you think you'll buy them flowers, pout and make puppy eyes, and they'll forgive you?” he scoffed and crossed his arms, making him look bigger than he already was. 

“No, making puppy eyes is your thing, I’m not that cheap,” Seungcheol fired right back at him. 

With each exchange between Seungcheol and Mingyu the tension only escalated, the atmosphere becoming charged with a mix of anger, frustration, and hurt. Their tones harsh and cutting, both of them tried to defend their position. Sadness, and disappointment were evident on their faces, further fueling the intensity of the situation. 

“I messed up, alright? But you're acting like I hurt them on purpose-.” 

“Well, to us it looked like you wanted to-.” 

“Could you just stay the fuck away from my relationship and focus on your shitty love life?” 

The rest of the boys, who were skeptically watching what was going on, knew this wouldn’t end well. Mingyu might have been passive most of the time, letting the others walk over him and still not batting an eye, but when it comes to his friends and their well being, he wouldn’t just stand around and watch. 

Wonwoo who was standing by the mirrors slowly came up to Mingyu and patted his back. 

“There is no use Mingoo, you’re not helping here,” he said sternly. 

“Well, I have the right to be angry.” 

“No one said you didn’t, but let’s not add more fuel to the fire, okay?” 

Mingyu glared at Seungcheol for the final time, before turning around and walking out of the room. 

“I’m going to check up on him,” said Mingaho. 

As the tension evaporated the second Mingyu left, Seungcheol could feel his anger turn to sadness and powerlessness. Now not only has he hurt you, but also his friend, who was so dear to him. 

Seungcheol felt trapped, not knowing what to do next and feeling extremely mentally and emotionally drained. He sighed deeply with a blank stare, drained from all of his usual energy. 

With the silence still apparent, everyone parted ways to give Seungcheol some space. Only Jeonghan and Joshua stayed by his side, not knowing what to do. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” asked the oldest, with a tired voice. 

“We’re all here for you, Coups and you're not alone in this. Don’t worry about Mingyu for now, he’ll come around,” said Joshua. “Take a deep breath and try to think clearly about this.” 

“It's just that everything seems to be going wrong, and I feel like I have no control over it.”

“We know, but you should have just talked to them. Why didn’t you do it? Why did it have to come to this Coups?” asked Jeonghan. 

“I don’t know, I really don’t. I thought I was stronger than this, that it would pass and everything would be okay. I just didn’t want to be a burden to them.” 

“Well that didn’t end up too well,” said Joshua, laughing at Seungcheol’s pouting face. 

“Thank you for being here for me. I really need that right now.”

“Of course! That's what family is for. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re all so pissed at you right now,” said Jeonghan. 

“Yeah, for a second there I thought Mingyu was going to punch me or something,” chuckled Sungcheol. 

“I wish he did,” muttered Joshua, and walked away quickly before the oldest could respond. 

“I’m going to make this right,” thought Seungcheol. “No matter what it takes.” 

[bellaxgiornata]

Don't Walk Away [2/2]

Pairing: Frank Castle x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.6k [Part One]

Summary: Frank is a good man–you learned that the day he brought your dog Lucky into your life. The two of you soon began a relationship afterwards, one that was rather unconventional with how often Frank was always on the road. But one night when he's back, you're hit with the realization that you're in love with him. Noticing your nerves, Frank eventually pulls the truth out of you–and then you're left confused and heartbroken when you wake up to find him gone the next morning.

Warnings: 18+; Angst with a happy ending (in part two), emotional hurt/comfort, smut (in part two), love confession

a/n: Y'all have been waiting a long time for the happy (and somewhat smutty) conclusion of this fic, and here it finally is! Feedback is always appreciated!

Frank Castle One Shot Tag List: @blackhawkfanatic @heimtathurs @marcysbear @linamarr @nerdytreeflower @powellssaturn @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @shiorimakibawrites @xxdrixx @leikelle @pinkratts @1988-fiend @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @stilldreaming666 @will-delete-this-later-probably @yarrystyleeza @pone21 @sleepysleepymom @harleycao @kezibear @justanerd1

The house was much quieter than usual all day today. Even Lucky appeared to share in your miserable mood, not having much of her usual energy herself. She’d spent most of her day either lying quietly on the floor beside you, watching you closely with her sad brown eyes, or meandering over to the window as if she still expected Frank’s truck to reappear out front. Meanwhile you’d spent your day off of work from the animal clinic moping and crying ever since you’d awoken to discover that Frank had left you. He’d never called, either. Not a single text the entire day after he’d quietly disappeared from your bed.

Now here you were once again, buried face down on one of the couch pillows with a blanket covering most of you, as if that could somehow hide you from the reality of what had happened. That you’d confessed to Frank that you loved him in the middle of the night last night only to have him disappear on you before you’d woken. And like hell if his response of leaving without a word and ignoring you all day today hadn’t cut you deeply and spoken volumes in itself. 

You weren’t delusional. You hadn’t expected him to say it back to you when he’d finally pried it out of you last night. You’d known what he’d been through with losing his family–what he was still going through over the loss of them. But while you hadn’t expected a perfectly romantic declaration in return from him, you certainly hadn’t anticipated this reaction. 

He clearly wasn’t as ready for a relationship as you’d thought. Especially not one that had gotten so unexpectedly serious. You’d tried to tell yourself that it was alright, that he couldn’t help it with what he’d been through, hoping that would ease just a little bit of your pain. You’d even tried to remind yourself of your unusual relationship with him for months now, telling yourself that you should’ve expected this. But no matter how you tried to reason with yourself or make sense of his actions, you still wound up in another fit of tears.

Why the hell had he just left without a word? Why was he still ignoring you?

Even with your face hidden and the blanket pulled up high over you, you could still hear the sound of Lucky’s whines just over the sound of the rain coming down outside. Turning your face, you buried it further into the dampened couch pillow, feeling another wave of sadness wash over you again. He’d hurt Lucky when he’d left, too. 

Tears once more fell down your cheeks as you began to softly cry yet again, your sobs muffled against the fabric of the pillow. Lucky’s little whines began to pick up, almost as if she was lying on the floor beside the couch and mourning the loss of Frank with you. And maybe she was. That thought only had the tears falling faster, your heart painfully tightening in your chest for both you and your dog.

A crack of thunder roared in the distance as rain continued to batter at your windows. The fact that the sun hadn't peeked out from behind the gray clouds once today seemed fitting. Almost as if the universe knew exactly how you were feeling and was wallowing along with you today.

All day you’d been back and forth, contemplating calling into work and taking tomorrow off. You didn't know how you were going to make it through a full day tomorrow without entirely losing it. Were you really supposed to just get out of bed in the morning and act like your world hadn't just fallen apart around you? Because that's exactly what had happened and pretending otherwise felt impossible right now.

Lucky’s toenails scratching along the floor as she abruptly rose to her feet met your ears over the sound of the rain. She trotted away from the couch, sounding as if she was once more making her way over to the living room window. You figured she was probably yet again planning to dejectedly press her nose to the glass in her hopeful search of Frank's truck, still expecting to find it outside one of these times. It was something she had been doing repeatedly all day and it broke your heart to keep watching. At the sound of a particularly high-pitched whine coming from her, you partially unburied your face from the pillow.

“He's gone, girl,” you croaked out, voice hoarse from the crying you'd done all day. “It won't help to stare out the window. He’s not there.”

Lucky looked back over at you from where she’d wedged herself between the curtains. She responded with two sharp barks almost in defiance of what you'd said. 

“I'm sorry,” you muttered miserably, more to yourself than to her as you buried your tear-stained face back into the pillow. “You don't understand what's going on.” Your lips trembled as you curled further into yourself on the couch under the blanket. “And neither do I.”

Lucky paced her way back towards the couch, her toenails clicking along the floor as she walked. She let out another two sharp barks directed at your form buried beneath the blanket. You sighed, lifting your face from the pillow again. 

“He's left, girl,” you told her, rolling over to face her entirely. “And he's not coming–”

You stopped when you saw the sudden shift in her demeanor. Her ears were perked up, excitement glinting in her eyes as she leaned forward, bumping your arm with her cold nose. But most importantly you caught the way her tail was wagging–exactly three wags before it stopped and started again a few seconds later.

Your eyes flew to the window she'd been looking out of moments ago, quickly pushing yourself upright into a seated position on the couch as your tears began to slow. There was only one reason she ever wagged her tail in excitement like that. There had only ever been one reason in the past eight months.

Frank .

You'd barely managed to throw the blanket off of yourself before you'd heard the three almost hesitant knocks at your front door. Feeling like you weren't even breathing, you rose from the couch in almost a daze as another crack of thunder growled in the distance. You made your way across the room, wiping the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand as you went.

Stopping in front of your door, your hand hesitantly hovered over the lock. You weren't even sure if it was Frank at your door right now, having been in too much of a hurry to have stopped and checked for his truck outside before you'd rushed over. But as your gaze dropped down to Lucky who was standing just beside you, you couldn't mistake the impatience in the whine she emitted next. 

Without further hesitation, you unlocked the deadbolt before swinging the door open. Frank was indeed standing on your small front porch, the little overhang he was standing beneath just barely shielding him from the downpour of rain. Though you noticed that his clothes looked damp and his dark hair wet. He must've been outside in the storm at some point recently today. 

Pushing the screen door open a fraction, you stood there in silence staring at the guilty and forlorn expression spread across Frank’s face. His dark brows were drawn together, a deep crease formed between them. The corners of his lips were downturned and faintly twitching, making it look like if his frown could deepen any further, it would at any moment. There was also pain and sadness lingering in his dark eyes as they fell on you, somehow softening further the longer they took in the sight of you.

You didn't know what to say as you stood there with the door held open, Lucky now seated next to your feet, her tail wagging along the floor at the reappearance of Frank. You were still partially in shock that he was even standing there after the way he’d just left without a word and ignored you all day afterwards. Part of you was even pissed off that he'd suddenly shown up on your doorstep without warning, as if what he'd done hadn't torn you up. Your hand tightened around the screen door handle, lips pressing firmly together as you stared back at him, anger burning in your gut now.

“I'm sorry,” Frank finally said, breaking the silence.

“That's all you've got?” you asked sharply, eyes narrowing. “You left without a damn word, Frank. While I was still asleep next to you. Your phone has been off all day. You didn’t leave a single damn message. Not a damn explanation. Now you show back up and all you can say is ‘I’m sorry’?”

He nodded solemnly, his gaze guiltily dropping down to his dirty black boots. “You're right,” he agreed. “I left you like an asshole without a word. And I'm sorry for that. I am. I didn't exactly plan that to happen. But I just–just needed to go somewhere to think after what you’d said last night.”

Your teeth ground together as you eyed him standing there, watching as he continued to avert his gaze from you. He kept staring down at his boots, hanging his head as the rain still fell heavily down around him just past the overhang of your porch. Beside you, Lucky let out another impatient whine, clearly not understanding why Frank hadn’t just come inside and pet her already.

“You went somewhere to think?” you asked him. 

Nodding, Frank looked back up at you through his lashes. He almost looked a little nervous as he stood there, his head still partially hung in obvious guilt. Your teeth grit together at the sight, anger and compassion fighting within you at his response.

“Yeah, I did,” he replied. 

He began to shift back and forth on his feet awkwardly, one of his hands rising up and running across his mouth. You rested a hip against the doorway, your hand still holding your screen door open partially, though you weren’t exactly ready to just invite him back inside. Not after how his abrupt disappearance had hurt both you and Lucky all day today. You needed an explanation first–a good one.

“Look, I–I wasn’t expecting to meet you when I found Lucky that night, alright?” he eventually blurted, his eyes earnestly meeting yours. “I was just s’posed to be passin’ through here. Like I do everywhere. But then I found this injured dog and I couldn’t just leave her. And for some reason I couldn’t shake her from my mind once I’d finally left this damn town despite knowin’ she was okay. So I came back. And then I just…couldn’t seem to shake you from my mind afterwards, either.”

The tension eased a little from your body as you listened to him speak. Frank had never been so forthright about his feelings with you about anything other than the loss of his family before. And even that had understandably taken a long time for him to open up to you about. But now here he was suddenly spilling things to you that you’d never truly heard him tell you before and it had completely taken you off guard.

“I wasn’t lookin’ for anything with anyone,” he continued. “I mean, hell, look at who I am. The things I’ve done.” He shook his head bitterly, his gaze still holding yours. “I ain’t a good man, sweetheart. I’m not fooling myself into thinkin’ otherwise. And I kept telling myself that I should stay away from you all this time, that you deserved better than me, but I just…couldn’t. I couldn’t leave you. But I–I couldn’t make myself stay, either.” Frank’s brown eyes further softened along with his voice. “Because you deserve so much better than me. Someone with more to offer. Someone that's good.”

“You are a good man, Frank,” you told him. 

He almost looked like he'd flinched at the comment before he shook his head again. 

“I don't know how you always say that,” he countered. “I sure as shit don't see it.”

“Well I do,” you stated. “You're a good man despite your past, Frank. Been through some of the worst heartache I could ever imagine. Yet you're still a good man in the end, even with the things you've done. Because of the heart you have in that big damn chest of yours. But Frank,” you said, eyes beginning to water as you remembered waking up to an empty bed this morning, the pain hitting you almost all over again. “Why the hell did you just leave me like that?”

His gaze guiltily dropped back downwards, his shoulders visibly dropping. The sky flashed with a streak of lightning behind him, the rumble of thunder hitting your ears a few seconds later.

“Maria got pregnant three months after we started dating,” he began, voice quiet and oddly even as he focused on his worn boots. “I proposed to her the day she told me. Never thought twice about it. Planned to spend the rest of my life growing old with her, raising our kids.” He paused, his eyes still downcast as he shifted his weight on his feet again. “I never planned to be with anyone but her. Never imagined ever being with anyone else. We got married and I said those vows and I meant them. I meant them. But of course I–” he hesitated, emotion suddenly thick in his voice, his face pinching tight, “–I never could've anticipated what was gonna happen to her and the kids.”

You felt your heart softening immediately to Frank, watching as one of his hands slipped out of his jacket pockets. He wiped at his eyes quickly with the heel of his hand, though he still refused to look at you. 

“I never planned to feel like that for anyone else,” he continued. “And I honestly can't say that I'm ready to–to repeat those words to you and mean them quite yet, either. And until last night,” he said, his eyes finally meeting yours again, “the only woman who'd ever said them to me was Maria. And hearing them again–”

He broke off mid-sentence, his expression twisting up in a mixture of pain and grief that hit you straight in the chest. Without a word you were stepping outside and letting your screen door slam shut behind you. Your arms wrapped around Frank's shoulders, drawing him into you without hesitation. He buried his face into the crook of neck, his own arms tightly encircling your waist in return. There was a dampness forming around the collar of your shirt the longer you held him there and you knew it was from his tears. It only had you holding him more firmly in your embrace and wishing there was more you could offer to ease that neverending pain of his. 

“I just needed to think ‘bout things,” he croaked out. “That's all. ‘S’all it was. I’m sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

Turning your head towards where Frank’s was buried into the crook of your neck, you closed your eyes and rested your forehead against his temple. The anger you'd been feeling at the sight of him appearing on your front porch had completely disappeared after what he'd just shared with you. How could you have blamed him for needing time to think about everything? After everything he'd been through? It made complete sense that hearing someone tell him they loved him for the first time after losing Maria would’ve stirred up a confusing mix of feelings inside of him. Feelings he’d need to take time to process.

“It's alright, I understand now,” you assured him softly. “Though I still wish you'd have at least said something. Left a note or a text saying you needed time to process things so that I wasn't just left feeling abandoned when I woke up.”

“I know. I wasn't thinking, though,” he admitted. “And I'm sorry. So sorry, sweetheart. I fucked up and I hurt you.”

You sighed, your arms still holding Frank to the front of yourself. His face was still buried against your neck, your shirt still steadily growing damper. 

“Do you want to come inside?” you asked hesitantly, unsure of what he’d say at this point. “Get out of the rain?”

“If you still want me to,” he answered.

Shifting in his arms, you planted a gentle kiss to his temple before you reluctantly released your hold on Frank, his own arms unwrapping from around your waist in return. You reached out and grabbed his hand, turning and opening your screen door before leading him back inside. The moment he was in the entryway Lucky was back up on her feet, her tail wagging so hard her entire back half was moving along with it. Frank chuckled lightly at the sight of her as you closed and locked the front door behind the pair of you.

“I know, I know. I fucked up, girl,” he told her, bending over and reaching a hand out to scratch her behind the ears. As he pet her, he glanced back up at you, an apologetic look spread across his face. “Promise it won't ever happen again, though.”

A small smile slid onto your face, your eyes holding his for a moment. Lucky continued to relish in the ear scratches, clearly happy to have Frank back after his abrupt departure earlier. She had easily forgiven him the moment she'd seen him.

Clearing your throat, you pointed a firm finger at his boots. “You still need to take those dirty, wet things off before you come inside,” you told him.

The corner of his mouth curled upwards as he nodded back at you. “Yes, ma'am.”

As Frank began to undo his boots and slip them off, you stepped further into the living room and watched him. Nervously you began chewing on your bottom lip, curious as to how things might change in your relationship with him now after how he'd reacted to you saying you loved him. Would things continue as they had been? As if nothing had changed? Or would it be harder to navigate this weird relationship now?

“Is it too soon for me to ask how long you're planning to stay this time?” you asked hesitantly, afraid the question would have him pulling his boots back on, running back out to his truck, and peeling out of your driveway. “Like…will you stay if I make dinner tonight? Will you still be here when I come back from work tomorrow evening?”

Frank’s hand left Lucky’s ear, lowering back to his side as he rose up to his full height despite Lucky’s protesting whine. He began slipping his arms out of his jacket before he silently stepped over towards your entryway closet, opening it and pulling out a hanger to hang his coat on. You watched him closely, waiting for him to answer. He didn't speak until he'd closed the closet door and finally focused back on you, one large hand still pressed against the door. You noticed he once again looked a little nervous as he eyed you in return.

“About that,” he began slowly, his weight shifting back and forth between his feet. “Was kinda thinking maybe I'd try staying this time…if you still want me here?” 

Both of your brows rose up onto your forehead in surprise. You hadn't expected that. Anytime the idea of him staying longer or more permanently was brought up, things had always ended up going poorly between you both. Usually he’d disappear and take longer to show back up for another visit. For weeks now you had been wondering if things would ever change in your strange relationship with him, afraid to ever really discuss it for fear of scaring him off for good, and now here he was saying he wanted to stay this time. 

“Of course I want you here, Frank,” you told him. “I've wanted that for a long while now. You know that.”

Frank smiled a small smile at you, his hand reaching out to give Lucky another couple of pats on the top of her head. Then he made his way over towards you almost shyly, something soft and gentle radiating in his eyes with the way he was looking at you. The sight had something nervously fluttering in your stomach almost as if it was that first night he'd stopped by and asked you out all over again. 

Opening your arms to him, he easily made his way back into them as if he'd never left at all. He lowered his forehead to carefully rest against yours, his strong arms once more drawing you against the front of himself as they encircled your waist. The smell of rain mingled with Frank's usual scent and it filled your nose as your fingers dug into his back through his dark shirt. Closing your eyes, a smile formed on your lips as you held him close. 

This felt right. 

Shifting in his arms, you hesitantly tilted your mouth up towards Frank's, capturing his lips in a tentative and hesitant kiss. One that was uncertain as your lips moved slowly and cautiously against his, afraid of pushing past his boundaries with him after what all he'd just revealed to you tonight. But his mouth moved firm and certain in response, kissing you back in a way that had your hands soon fisting the fabric of his shirt in them, pulling him tighter to the front of yourself.

With his mouth still attached to yours, you took a tentative step backwards towards the hallway. Back towards your bedroom. Instead of pushing you away or breaking the kiss, Frank began to walk you backwards, clearly aware of what you were trying to do. You figured if expressing himself with words wasn’t a possibility just yet, you hoped he was still able to express himself through his actions. Through the tender way he always touched you and the gentle way he often loved you. That was what you wanted right now–what you needed from him–and it appeared to be exactly what he needed, too. 

Your hands began tugging at the hem of his shirt while his hands slid up the back of yours, the warmth of his large palms seeping pleasantly through your skin as they ran up and down the length of your spine. The kiss quickly grew heated, your house filling with the sounds of both of your panting breaths as you continued making your way down the hallway, bumping occasionally into the wall as you blindly led him to your room. 

The pair of you only broke apart once you finally reached your bedroom and stepped inside. You shut the door in a rush, breathing hard and shooting Lucky at the end of the hallway a brief apologetic look as you did. Then you turned back around, your hands returning back to Frank, quickly working to pull his shirt off before throwing it to the floor at your feet. His hands were on you next, tugging your own shirt up and over your head before he discarded it carelessly to the side. 

In hardly any time, both of you had managed to undress each other, pausing only to lose yourselves in another passionate kiss while your hands blindly fumbled to strip a piece of clothing off of the other. But once all your clothes had finally been discarded, you'd led Frank by the hand over to your bed, pulling him up onto it with you. He followed easily, his eyes locked on yours as if you were all that mattered, a feeling that had your body feeling like it was on fire. 

Sliding a single arm around his neck, you drew his naked body towards you on the bed while your other hand reached down between the pair of you, beginning to stroke his hardening cock. Frank’s large hands were on your hips, focusing on taking their time to sensually roam over every inch of your body as you did. His hands explored their way tenderly along you, both of your breaths coming in sharper while his fingers trailed over your hips, your thighs, your back, your breasts. He buried his face against your neck as he did, his mouth trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin as he grew harder in your hand.

Eventually you couldn’t wait any longer for him, rising up onto your knees before him as your hand slid up the back of his neck, your fingers curling themselves into his hair. Then you inched yourself forward, your knees on either side of his as you straddled Frank's lap for a moment. Your other hand held the base of his cock steady while you carefully began to lower yourself down onto him, guiding him into your wet and aching core. You sighed at the feel of him gradually filling you once more, the fear of losing him melting away as your body stretched to fit him.

With a pleased hum, Frank's hands splayed wide over your back in response, holding you tight to his firm chest as you gradually began to sink entirely down onto his cock. Your hand in his hair gently tugged him away from your neck, raising his face up towards yours. From your position above him in his lap, you watched as he gazed back up at you, his eyelids lowering partially in a mix of pleasure and relief. He looked like this was exactly what he'd needed after today–the two of you connecting in a way that felt full of meaning and emotion. Something you'd been sorely missing before he'd come into your life.

“Won’t ever do that again,” Frank murmured. “Promise you that, sweetheart. I won't ever hurt you like that again.”

Slowly rolling your hips forward into his, you felt his fingers digging into your skin, his blunt nails urging you onwards. Wordlessly he leaned up, connecting his mouth back to yours in a passionate kiss that had your toes curling along the mattress. The kiss felt full of everything you knew Frank had wanted to say but didn't feel ready to tell you. And it was more than enough for you right now. 

“I know,” you whispered back, your faces mere inches apart, breaths mingling in the small distance between your mouths. “I still love you, Frank,” you assured him, watching as his eyes snapped shut at your words. Both of your hands rose up, cradling his face between your palms as you continued to ride him beneath you, the slow drag of his cock back and forth inside of you feeling like heaven. “And I’m always going to be right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Connecting your mouths together again in a tender kiss, you lost yourself in the way Frank’s mouth moved against yours. Lost yourself in the way he filled all of your senses–the way he filled all of you. You didn’t need to hear him say those three words back to you, not right now. Not with the way his thick arms wrapped around your back, nearly crushing you to the front of his very solid chest as he began to match the movements of your hips with his own. Not with the way his warm breaths ran down the length of your neck, raising goosebumps along your skin. And certainly not with the way his hands were holding your body, cradling you to himself with such firm but tender care.

You didn't need those three words from him right now because you knew he was going to make damn sure you understood exactly how he felt tonight with every thrust of his hips, caress of his fingers, and touch of his lips on you.

[williamsonarssnal]

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | L.W (part.1)

SILVER SPRING ⸻ leah williamson x swimmer!reader.

warning: angsty, mentions of marriage, heartbroken (L & R), confused (R). English isn't my first language!

In London, the vibrant city that pulsated to the rhythm of football, Leah Williamson shone like the Sun, illuminating the Emirates Stadium with her grit and talent. Y/n, on the other hand, an Olympic swimmer, was the Moon, gliding through the crystal-clear waters of the pool with the grace and strength of a celestial body.

Leah, the fearless captain of Arsenal, was admired by crowds, her radiant smile and unwavering leadership making her an icon of the sport. Y/n, on the other hand, conquered the world with her perseverance and discipline, each stroke bringing her closer to Olympic glory.

Though Leah and Y/n admired each other from afar, their worlds seemed to coexist in different orbits, like the Sun and the Moon. Leah, always surrounded by spotlights and applause, craved a quiet and cozy love. Y/n, dedicated to her passion for swimming, saw marriage as an obstacle to her freedom and dreams.

One day, fate brought them together at a charity event. Leah, enchanted by Y/n's beauty and determination, approached timidly. Y/n, admired by Leah's strength and humility, felt an unexpected connection.

"Hi, I'm Leah," she shouted over the loud music.

"Y/n, nice to meet you, England captain."

"The pleasure's all mine, gold medalist."

Over conversations and secret meetings, Leah and Y/n discovered a deep and sincere love, a feeling that transcended societal expectations. But, like the Sun and the Moon, they also carried their own dreams and ambitions.

Leah, wanting a future with Y/n, proposed marriage. Y/n, overwhelmed by the love she felt, found herself in a dilemma. Her heart belonged to Leah, but her soul longed for the freedom of the water.

"I can't, Leah."

"What?"

"I can't focus on starting a family with you right now."

Leah was still in shock by the woman in front of her's response. She was sure Y/n loved her with the same intensity. She was sure she was doing the right thing, the woman just got up and walked towards the door, since clearly the movie had been ruined. Y/n, on the other hand, sat on the cold living room floor while her shared dog lay on her legs trying to comfort her. Marvin was a Golden Retriever that Leah had given her for her birthday after finding out how much she loved the breed, he was a constant reminder of how much Leah cared about her and how they were already a family. This crazy decision of hers was already affecting their son.

She was already regretting her actions and how she was being arrogant putting her career above her perfect relationship, but now it was too late and Leah was probably at Lia's or some teammate's house. Tears streamed down her face, she was feeling so stupid for letting the love of her life walk away.

Days went by and Leah still hadn't spoken to her or even sent a message, she was living on autopilot. She entered the club without greeting any teammates and just changed in silence, training non-stop. In addition to taking advantage of the times when Lia asked to pick up Marvin to stay with Leah for a week and since the dog was shared she agreed immediately starting to accept the end of her relationship. Lia was angry at what she did to her best friend, but sad to see her state as she packed the dog's things.

"You're an airhead, girl," she said, and you just shrugged, trying to ignore the woman's words, just smiling faintly when your dog barked trying to get your attention. "Don't ruin your family, he needs you two together." You looked at her a little surprised, not knowing what to say, just lowering your head as you both walked away.

It was exactly a week after Marvin left and without the dog at home you spent more time training until the peak of exhaustion, doing several laps of different strokes each time wanting to break your record. Your cell phone was on silent so no one could disturb you, you were swimming butterfly and it was clear how much you liked the stroke, your favorite, you had such a great facility. The adrenaline was pumping through her veins, pushing her to surpass her limits. But then, a sharp pain shot through her calf. A relentless cramp seized her, paralyzing her movements.

Panic took hold of S/n. She tried to fight the pain, but it was futile. Her arms grew heavy, her legs refused to obey. She began to sink, the crystal-clear water turning into a suffocating nightmare.

In her last moments of consciousness, images of her life floated through her mind: the Olympic glories, Leah's love, the promise of a future together. Anguish and regret gripped her. She had sacrificed everything for her dream, but now, with death lurking, she realized that Leah's love was what mattered most.

[rubywonu]

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱

“i've got some shit i should mention, pretend my ego is dying, ask me if i love attention, and I'll say no, but i'm lying”

summary: in which seungcheol missed on countless important event with you and you decided it was time for confrontation.

pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader

genre: angst to fluff, not mentioned but established idol!au

warnings: arguments, swear words.

w/c: 2.7k

nia’s notes: i don’t know what is just wrote. song is loved by b.i

it was your birthday and the person you wanted to celebrate it with was nowhere to be found. it was a small get-together, consisting of a few of your friends and your boyfriend, who was not there. 

you checked your messages and you were a bit let down when the message wasn't seen. it was like seungcheol was ghosting you. for the past few days, your boyfriend was always at his studio. seungcheol would disappear way before you would wake up and return hours past midnight. for some time, you wondered if he was even coming home. 

for the whole party, you were glued to your phone hoping cheol messaged you back or saw your message, but each time you were disappointed. 

you tried to stay alive and cheerful for your party but it was hard to do so. by the time your friends left, you were angry and sad. each year you and seungcheol would stay up till midnight and write letters to each other for your birthday. it was a stupid tradition but it kept your love alive and this year, you were questioning if it would happen. 

you sat down on the couch, after bidding your friends goodbye and you checked your phone, again. you let out a long sigh as you were let down, once again. it was funny to you when you remembered all the other times you were disappointed by your boyfriend. 

for the past few weeks, you and seungcheol were supposed to go on dates, and each time, cheol canceled last minute with the same excuse, i'm stuck in the studio, sorry. 

this time you were sure you weren't going to let it happen again. so with a bold choice in your mind, you changed your clothes, to one of cheol's sweatshirts and a sweatpant from your closet. you walked over to the counter, trying to find your car keys. you smacked your head slightly when you realized that your car was at the repair shop. it looked like you had to walk to the building, it wasn't far so you had no problem with it. 

so you locked the door to your apartment and walked out of your house, slightly regretting not wearing a jacket. the wind was chilly and it burned when it touched your face. you winced as you wrapped your hands around you, you tried to speed walk to the building when you saw the storm clouds coming over in your direction. 

in a matter of a few minutes, you reach the company and you let your shoulders relax at the heat inside. you smiled at the receptionist when you walked over to the elevator. 

you pressed the floor button and waited to arrive. the ding snapped out out of your thoughts and made your way to the studio room where your boyfriend would be.  

you opened the door a little bit, in hopes of surprising seungcheol. "cheol." you called out and the man in front of you snapped his head to meet you. you expected him to be happy maybe even a little glad, but not in a million years did you expect seungcheol to be angry. 

"what are you doing here?" seungcheol stood up from his seat. he looked stressed out and it worried you. you walked inside and closed the door behind you. it the light, you were able to look at him more clearly and you were concerned. the lack of sleep was evident on his face, dark circles were present under his eyes. 

"well, i got worried when you didn't show up at home, so i decided to stop by." you smiled trying to relax your boyfriend, it was clear to say you did quite the opposite. 

"you don't have to come here, go home, it'll take me a few more hours." you were shocked at his words. 

"what do you mean a few more hours? cheol what about our tradition?" you asked feeling heartbroken at the behaviour your boyfriend was showing you. 

"i don't have time for that, yn. my work is more important." if seungcheol was awake, he was sure he wouldn't say the things he was about to.  

you were taken aback at his cold tone and even more when cheol sat down at this desk, continuing his work. "what are you saying? do you mean it?" 

"yes. yes, i mean it, now get out." the harsh words that came out of seungcheol's mouth felt like a knife pushing through your heart. 

"seungcheol, you need sleep and food, come on let's go home." you walked over to your boyfriend, and gently put your hand on his arm. that seemed to piss him off more. 

"i need to complete this, yn. either leave by yourself or i'll do it." seungcheol was sleepy, hungry, and drained. he wasn't in his right mind and each word he said proved exactly that. 

"what? do you realize what you're saying?" you were angry, you were pissed at the way he was speaking towards you. 

"yn, i don't have time for you or your petty fights, just leave." seungcheol rubbed his hands over his face while he pleaded with you. 

you didn't know when but a lone tear cascaded down your eye. you were hurt beyond explanation. "what?" each time seungcheol said a word, your heart cracked and bled in despair. 

"leave, yn!" you flinched at the intensity of his voice and moved back. "god, you're so needy, it's annoying." cheol mumbled as he went back to his laptop. you walked away from him and towards the door, trying to contain your tears. you couldn't believe that the mouth that whispered praises and confessions was leaving you in pain, for the first time choi seungcheol made you cry, no he made you sob. 

you slammed the door behind you and quickly walked outside the building, in the elevator you could feel yourself breaking down, you put your hand on your mouth, trying to soften your sobs, but it didn't work. without looking back, you excited the building, regretting that decision when you felt the big droplets of water fall on you, it was raining. 

you needed shelter but there was no way you were going back into the building, especially after what had just happened. so you put your head down and slowly made your way back to your house, being extremely careful to not slip at any given moment. 

before you stormed out of the hybe building, someone saw you leave and was very concerned about your condition. it was obvious for him to realize the culprit of this incident. so he walked over to the elevator, making his way over to seungcheol's studio. 

he rushed over and opened the door, confusion visible on his face. "seungcheol." the mentioned man turned around and he became more annoyed. sure, seungcheol regretted what he said to you, but working on a time crunch can do that to people, it didn't look like his fault. "why did yn leave, crying, no seungcheol, she was sobbing, why?" 

"i do not want to deal with your bullshit as well, jeonghan just leave." seungcheol regretted the statement as soon as it left your mouth, even more, when he saw the anger displayed on jeonghan's face. 

jeonghan was like a brother to you, and the both of you became extremely close when you and seungcheol started dating, you became closer with han. 

"shut up and listen to me." jeonghan started. "what did you do for yn, one of the happiest people on the face of this planet, sob while leaving the building. and before you ask me questions like how i know, or something stupid like that just remember that you promised to not make her cry." 

jeonghan didn't know what he was saying but he kept on going before falling on the couch in exhaustion. on the other hand, seungcheol remained silent. he didn't realize the gravity of the situation until jeonghan screamed at him. 

each word came back to haunt him, he could visualize the perfect smile on your beautiful fade into a gradient of hurt and sadness. seungcheol sat there wanting to take back everything he said that hurt you in any form but that wasn't possible. seungcheol had hurt you beyond description and oh boy, did he feel disappointment rush through his blood. 

it didn't prepare him for what he was about to hear though. "gosh, i do hope yn reached home safe, it's pouring real bad." he heard jeonghan mutter and seungcheol felt his heart drop. his eyes were wide and his stance was ready to sprint but he couldn't move. "what?" 

"it's raining outside, i hope yn can see anything from the car." once again, seungcheol felt his world stop spinning. 

"yn's car is at the repair shop." seungcheol said slowly as the realization hit him. he saw jeonghan turn to him and ask him to repeat himself. "yn doesn't have her car." 

this was the last straw, before completing his sentence, seungcheol ran out of the room, and completely ignored jeonghan's call behind him to grab a jacket. but he didn't care, all he cared about was you and he hurt you.

seungcheol spammed the elevator call button, furiously. he was angry at himself, angry at the world, he was angry at everything and everyone but you. 

"fuck!" seungcheol screamed and rushed over to the stairs. he started to rapidly climb down the stairs. he was on the higher floors but he did not care at all.

once he reached the base of the stairs, he slammed open the door and ran out of the building, not minding the glances he received while doing so. 

the rain looked worse than jeonghan made it seem, big droplets were clouding his vision but he moved on. seungcheol slowly started to walk into the rain while scouting all his sides in hopes of finding you. 

he saw a small figure pushing through the cold rain and he immediately knew it was you by the familiar sweatshirt. and then seungcheol ran, he ran for his life. he didn't care about the slipperiness of the ground and he didn't care when the rain got harder, the only thing he cared for you so he ran in search of your warm body. 

he was right behind you now, and he grabbed your arm, regretting it as soon as he saw you flinch at the touch. "yn, it's me." seungcheol spoke with a soft voice and he begged the gods for you to be alright with his presence, but it looked like his prayers were skipped. 

you pulled your hand away and continued to walk away, leaving seungcheol's heart to shatter. "get away from me." 

"yn, listen to me, please." seungcheol didn't give up just yet, he ran in front of you and held you by your shoulders, trying to be as gentle as possible. "let's just go back to the studio, i promise we'll talk there." 

"you don't care about me, did you forget about it already?" you moved away from your boyfriend and walked away from him, again. 

"what do you mean?" you turned around at seungcheol's ridiculous statement and scoffed, anger seeping into your face. 

"'what do you mean?' are you crazy choi seungcheol." cheol flinched at you calling him his full name, ever since the both of you started dating, he had never heard his name come out of your mouth like that, and boy did it hurt. 

"first of all, you gave up on our tradition, you know how much it means to me but you left that. then, you disregarded me, seungcheol. i was worried about you and what did you do? you screamed at me, telling me to leave you alone and as if that's not bad enough you proceeded to call me clingy and needy, you said you were annoyed by my actions. since when did my care and love for you turn annoying? i was looking out for you, but you took my heart and broke it." 

seungcheol didn't realize how much he messed up until he heard your feelings and regret swarmed his whole body. 

"and you did it all on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, my birthday." your voice cracked and tears struck down your face. 

realization came sticking to cheol as he stood there in shock. he forgot about it because of his hard schedule, he forgot your birthday. you turned around, trying you hide your crying face. 

behind you, seungcheol pondered at his bad decisions. he hated himself, he hated the way he made you feel, and he hated to be the reason for your sadness. 

for the past month, you and seungcheol had talked about all the things the both of you wanted to do for your birthday and they were in contrast to what was actually happening. what was supposed to be a day filled with loving you turned into a day where your relationship was in danger. 

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry." seungcheol's soft voice behind you only made you cry harder. you turned around, and the sight left you speechless. 

seungcheol was on his knees, he was crying. "i'm so sorry, yn." the rain and your boyfriend's harsh sobs were the only things you could hear, apart from your own cries. 

no matter how angry you were with seungcheol, it pained for you to see a man so strong break down in tears while on his knees. you joined him on the floor, and the both of you cried while holding each other in the rain, gaining warmth from the other. 

"im so sorry, im so sorry for everything i did. im so sorry for the way i spoke to you, you didn't deserve it. you were just trying to be a good girlfriend but i screamed at you, i'm so sorry. please forgive me, don't leave me, yn, please." 

seungcheol's ramble made you cry harder, you pulled away from him and grabbed his face, making him look at you. "i'm not going to leave you, don't worry." you go up and pulled seungcheol up as well. "let's go home and talk there." 

the both of you walked hand in hand in silence, wiping the tears on the way, the rain washing away your tears and replacing them with a cloud of sadness. when you reached home, without talking you and seungcheol walked into separate bathrooms to clean up. it was obvious that both of you wanted to talk about it but the wound was too fresh. 

you finished your shower and dried your hair, you were currently walking to the guest bedroom where seungcheol was cleaning up. you opened the door and seungcheol was on the bed, the room was dark, and he was drying his hair. you heard a sniffle and it damaged you. 

you made your way in front of your seungcheol grabbed the towel without saying anything and proceeded to rub his hair. as you did this, seungcheol's tears only started to come out faster. 

you dropped the towel on the bed and placed your hand on his face, seungcheol leaning into it. you swiped your finger under his eyes and removed his tears. the action only seemed to make him cry more. 

"i'm so sorry." you pulled him into a hug, and seungcheol immediately responded by placing his hands around your waist and pulling you in as close as possible. 

"it's okay baby, i didn't like it at all but i understand where it came from, so i forgive you. just promise not to do that again." seungcheol's eyes snapped open no light up at your words. 

"thank you, i promise to never make you cry ever again. i'll cancel all my plans for the next week, it'll be you and me, that's it." seungcheol stood up and held your waist, your hands immediately going to his neck. you smiled at his enthusiasm and it was then you realized he was sincere. the both of you kissed, leaving the troubles of the day to be washed away by the rain, and you and seungcheol emerged like a rainbow during the pain. 

and from that day onwards, seungcheol never broke his promises, he never let you cry and most of all, seungcheol never forgot to make you feel loved. 

taglist: @xomingyu . @pixieskie . @bangchansbae . @weird-bookworm .

[cinnamostar]

01: self-fulfilling prophecy 

part two.

pairing : jisung x gn!reader

summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.

wc : 8.5k

cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.

a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!

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Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 

“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”

“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”

“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”

“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”

Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 

Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!

It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 

What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 

He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.

Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?

Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?

He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.

Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.

However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 

People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 

He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.

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For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 

Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.

Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.

He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 

As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.

After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.

“Jisung! You made it!”

The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 

Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”

Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”

Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 

The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.

Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.

“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”

Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”

He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.

He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.

Oh, shit, they’re cute.

Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I- Oh, uhm, I…”

You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.

“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”

“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 

“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 

Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,

“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”

Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.

Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.

You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”

Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-

“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”

Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.

Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 

You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”

Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.

“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”

Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”

“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”

Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”

Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.

“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”

“Are they dating anyone?”

The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.

“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”

“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.

“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 

“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?

Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 

“Say it.”

“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.

“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”

The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,

“Seungmin, stop-”

“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”

Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.

Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.

“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.

Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 

Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 

Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.

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A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 

Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 

Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 

Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.

Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.

Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.

However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 

He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!

It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 

It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.

Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 

But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.

Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.

It was doomed! 

And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 

If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 

On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 

All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 

Oh, but you were so wrong. 

The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”

“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”

“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”

Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.

Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.

“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”

Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”

“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”

This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 

“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”

Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”

In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.

“I think Y/N likes him.”

Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 

Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”

“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.

“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”

Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”

The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”

Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.

“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.

Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 

You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.

Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 

You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.

If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.

Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 

Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 

You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”

“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”

“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”

“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”

Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”

“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.

“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”

You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”

He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”

Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”

“Especially you.” 

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 

After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.

Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.

He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.

He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.

Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.

All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 

As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 

He just couldn’t be your love.

God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-

“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”

Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.

Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 

“I… I’m sorry, I just-”

You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”

You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”

Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.

“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”

There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 

Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.

Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

[inumkii]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ idiots to lovers - yuta okkotsu x reader

bullet point scenario

genre: fluff!! idiots to lovers (obviousllyyy)

wc: 1.3k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n: i figured it was better if i posted this instead of letting it sit in the dungeon (my collection of drafts that’ll never see the light of day)

okiee yuta timeee

i love annoying misconceptions and (falsely) heartbroken pining

the way i see it is that yuta strongly admires maki’s strength and resolve that, to you (who’s hopelessly pining after him), it can get mistaken as romantic ..

and it doesn't help that panda likes to be annoying about the two of them together ,,, it just all deflates your mood a little bit whenever you see them together 

and you know you have no right to be sulking about this,, maki and yuta are your friends.. it shouldn't matter if they did like each other,, it's not something you could control

but you just desperately wish that yuta could look at you with the same level of admiration that he has when he talks to maki about sparring or whatever it may be

hell, he could barely look you in the eyes

it makes you a little sad seeing everyone’s friendship with yuta develope rapidly throughout his time at jujutsu tech,, but when it comes to conversing with you, things still feel a little different 

its not like you two are merely acquaintances! you wouldn't hesitate to call okkutsu yuta a friend of yours,, but it's a simple relationship. not much complexity beyond your conversations during missions or gojo’s lessons

unfortunately for the both of you, you’re unaware of yuta’s affection for you

the reason why he doesn’t look at you with the admiration you wish for is because he can’t even look you in the eyes without getting too flustered ….

poor boy

he’s definitely gained a lot more confidence after joining jujutsu high, but it's still not enough to muster up enough courage to ask you to lunch or even have an in depth conversation without him getting too red in the face

he doesn’t know why you have this affect on him,, his previous relationship had been so easy- then again the carelessness of childhood was not a luxury he has anymore. though it was simpler, he knew he didn't have the mental capacity at such a young age to be overthinking shit like he does now

to add on, your friendship with toge has him struck with the familiar worries that you experience with maki

catching a glimpse of the spectators during his spar from the field, he can’t help but feel a little disappointed when he sees you seated a little too close to inumaki up on the bleachers. 

“how long have yn and toge been friends?” he questions maki in the midst of their spar as he blocks her oncoming attack

“oh those two? just as long as we all joined jujustu high” maki switches to the defensive as yuta charges forward. yuta moves to strike her but maki smirks, “though i think they oughta start dating sooner later”

her words cause yuta to freeze for a split second and she shoves him to the ground, effectively placing herself on top of him. she holds her staff to his neck, signaling her win. one point for maki

she laughs in victory before lowering her voice back to her previous volume.

“i was kidding, by the way. there’s definitely no feelings between them” she helps the defeated (and visibly embarrassed) boy off his feet, “clearly there are for the two of you, however”

she struts back toward you, panda, and toge to retrieve her water, leaving yuta a flustered mess on the ground

and in that whole instance, you hadn’t heard any of that conversation 

you had been leaned up against toge murmuring your complaints so panda, mediating the fight ahead, couldn't hear you

“they look good together” you say in self sabotaging pity

toge only shakes his head and disagrees

“okaka”

you’re sure he’s just doing this to make you feel better about yourself

“shes so pretty,, how couldnt he like her” you wail pathetically. toge is so fed up with this but its not he can just tell the other side how you felt (he would never rat you out like that though),, but hes certain yuta likes you back and that you're over analyzing him too much

he places a hand on your shoulder and waits for you to look up at him

the expression on his face tells you clearly, ‘you need to stop’

you sigh. toges right, he always is- but it still doesn’t do anything to quell your fears

and low and behold! your thoughts are interrupted by maki’s victory laugh. she was on top of him, rendering him unable to move

god you wished that was you………

you bury your head in your hands in utter frustration and groan. this is the worst feeling- you know you’re being stupid but jealousy is a disease and you’re dying over here!!

yuta swaps out with panda, who was waiting eagerly to fight the victor 

he joins you guys up on the bleachers, seating himself beside toge. he quickly notices your distressed figure

“is,, everything alrigjt?” he asks tentatively 

to his dismay, toge answers for you with a hum. this causes yuta to be a little peeved when it's him answering in your place- he tries to ignore it

you and inumaki seem way closer than you would ever be with him,,

but to yuta’s delight and your demise, toge stands up from between you (he doesn’t think he can stand to be sandwiched between the pining idiots anymore)

your blonde friend lets out a noise, motions to the line of water bottles at the bottom of the bleachers, and promptly leaves

yuta takes this opportunity to scoot himself closer to you, who’s still slumped over + wallowing away

“what were you two talking about?” he asks, trying to gauge why you’re sulking

you have to choose your words carefully. you couldn't just tell him you’re upset over something trivial like his spar with maki

“i’ve just been frustrated” you mumble vaguely

“frustrated?” he inches closer to you, trying to mimic toge’s proximity from before. he questions you with the utmost sincerity

“yeah. sorry i dont really know how to elaborate” you lift your head, deciding to stop staring holes into your shoes. you’re trying so hard to make this conversation not awkward- but your short answers don’t help your case at all.

“its alright, you dont have to talk about it if you dont want to” 

if there's one thing you love about okkotsu yuta, it was how sweet he is

for the first time in the last hour or however long you had all been out on the field, you let out a genuine smile

“thank you yuta, i appreciate you” 

his ears turn pink within a split second but nevertheless, he reciprocates your smile

the problem with conversing with you is that most of your conversations were too short

he could get so lost in your smile at times he finds himself silent, forgetting to carry on whatever you were talking to him about

this time he manages to snap himself out of it

“did you wanna hang out after practice? i mean- if you’d rather be alone right now that's fine to!” he knows he left the option to decline open but he hopes you didn't take him up on the latter,,

“that sounds nice.” you’re biting back a stupidly large grin 

neither of you notice that maki and pandas fight had already concluded or that inumaki had been gone a suspiciously large amount of time to just grab a drink of water 

makis smiling at the two of you up in your own world while toge almost sighs in exhaustion, 

“sujiko” 

(finally)

being around the two of you was quite a taxing event for them both

panda, on the other hand, is finally catching on- eyes shifting back and forth between you and yuta and his friends at the bottom of the bleachers in disbelief

it was an unspoken understanding between toge and maki that they should avoid panda becoming aware of the sprouting couple to avoid some- awkward comments, though he meant well

well, there’s no hiding it anymore with the two of you hopelessly blushing at each other + toge and maki’s shared smirks

before panda could say anything to disrupt the moment, his two friends were already dragging him off the field to avoid him opening his big mouth

“they wont notice we’ve left” maki says with a chuckle

“salmon”