#// also thank u bb for sending one in for the bros

[fushitoru]

HIIII AASHI <33 okay i'm like 3 days late on when i meant to send this but work kicked my actual ASS when i got back 🫠 but I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL <33 i feel like i've missed so much it's wild

OKAY OKAY so my entire flight back i binge read spiderman!gojo and bridgerton!gojo chap 6 you absolutely fed me on my flight back it was peak tbh and now i'm here to YAP so apologies in advance

the ANGSTTT in chapter 6 girl!! delicious i ate it up. choso is such a good brother and SUKUNAAA i'm so excited to see more of him

the conflict with reader's mom is so real i felt the fear 🙂‍↕️ she scares me like she's my own family asjfdjlkhg the angry silence would kill me bless yuji he's such a sweetheart. i absolutely love the dynamic between reader and her brothers and did i mention how excited i am for more sukuna?? i love the idea of reader's defiant and independent side coming from being super close to him growing up

and UGHH gojo!! like i GET what he's trying to do but reader is SOO valid for telling him off like boy that is NOTTT the way to go about it 😩

bridgerton au my beloved...... you absolutely cooked as always

OHHHH AND SPIDERMAN!GOJO?? aashi genuinely one of my all time fave fics i have ever read like you captured how i think gojo would be as spiderman PERFECTLY like the conflicting emotions of his responsibility and just wanting to be a student and have a normal life and love someone :((( he's so cute and i love the academic rivalry SO MUCH

like okay their little meet-cute?? ADORABLE. reader being petty and making the sweetest drink ever for him and he's so smitten already i was kickin' my feet smiling to myself the pining is SOOO good

him with his gaming laptop playing on cool math games 😭 he's such a dork i literally love him sm like the way he simultaneously is so easily confident and cocky but he's also so smart and nerdy you literally perfected that balance and he's just so lovable

AND THE ATMOSPHERE like the way you capture new york and spiderman and the SPIDER KISS i yelled

him showing up to reader's window all beaten up 😭 he's too precious like pls give this man a HUG he deserves the world he's trying SO HARD i just wanna wrap him up in blankets and keep him safe

also gojo using webs to bind reader's wrists PLEASE that's genius he absolutely would and it's so hot i have so many horny brain thoughts that aren't meant to see the light of day 🥴 literally perfection i need him so badly

ANYWAY sorry for the novel i hope you're doing well ily bb <33

- @starmapz

HIIIII TRISHHHH ILY POOKIE HOW R U?? ik its been a while since you sent in this ask but AHH this made me so happy :3

im so glad you had a safe flight <3 dude i feel like if i had reader's mom i would spontaneously combust like that shit would be so anxiety inducing...and UGH gojo is a bitch that's scared of feelings. bro thinks he's gonna die if he enters a love marraige what a fucking dumbass

AHHH OH MY GOD your spiderman!gojo thoughts are making me SQUEAL thank you thank you i thought the academic rivalry was gonna feel so awkward and like i squished it in there but im glad you like it :333

but im SORRY im so srs if he was alive in 2024 and was gen z you canNOT tel me he wouldn't be some cool math games loser that plays minesweeper during lecture like....unfortunately i am obsessed with gen z-ifying my millienial gay twink king

OMG yes do share those horny thoughts >:) i just want him soooo bad.

I AM GOOD i hope you are doing well too it seems you've been busy with work lately and i hope you're taking the time to take care of yourself!!!!

[pcstilnt]

“   don’t  beat  yourself  up  over  this .   be  kind  to  yourself ,   it’s  not  your  fault .   ” julien@gia :^)

«  sentence starters //   closed !!  updating files. 「 ♡ 」 ━ *┊ @2oners​ ft: julien

❛  she’s so pissed at me , jul .  how can i not beat myself up for this .   ❜   amelia was not answering his calls and that probably had to do with the fact that he had once   again    canceled on one of their dates or more like he had not shown up at all  .  as much as he wanted to be there , his hands were tied and his duty to his bandmates was just as important to him as amelia was. however this time around , the date had   c o m p l e t e l y    slipped his mind with the amount of things that were packed on their schedule .  .  ❛   she’s sending me straight to voicemail . ❜   there’s a pain in his voice as he looks over towards the other members getting ready to begin practice  before his attention shifts over to the youngest of the group .    julien was like another     little   brother figure to gia and often ,if not always -- he could be found around the younger when jae was not around .   he was also   a lot easier to talk to at times if he had to be honest about certain things .

  ❛  we were so busy that i forgot to tell her and it completely slipped my mind  .   ❜    he can    only    imagine the embarrassment or bitterness that his girlfriend could have had realizing that she had been stood up without a reason .  he was really bad at relationships , normally never lasting more than a few weeks but this was different . amelia was   d i f f e r e n t     and his frustration shows in the way that the eldest of the band runs his hand through his freshly dyed brunette locks .  his phone tightly holds in his other as he hits the end of his phone against his knee out of frustration .  ❛  i just --- i just need to relax right ? i mean  would you be mad if it happened to you ? ❜    he knows the answer but still there’s a way his face shines with hope that julien will tell him that he wouldn’t be upset and understand .  of course though ,amelia was completely in the dark about him being an idol -- something he wasn’t quite sure how to tell his girlfriend . in fact he often swayed the conversations of his job line away when it would be brought up .

 ❛  jul , bro . i’m so fucking screwed .   ❜  

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

[celestial--abyss]

I still suck at hcs :< but ill try for u bb <3

-

❥ since diluc is a really busy man, don't expect him to be there for you all the time. he feels bad bc of it though,, D:

so bc of that, I like to think that he shows his love in subtle ways. like yk gift giving! not as extreme as childe but more so like small gifts that hold deep meaning if yk what I mean

I ALSO like to think that he bought you two matching earrings! like yk that "have this gift to remember me when I'm not there" type of thing, yeah that's why he bought matching earrings :D

and uhm I like to sleep with plushies around me so I have a personal hc that diluc spoils me with plushies to cuddle JSJHS

all in all, diluc is not there for you all the time but he wants you to know that you are very special to him and he cares about you a lot :D

❥ omg wait hold on my braincells are evaporating

❥ kaeya is your no.1 hype man. that's it, that's the hc LMAO. but srsly though, even though he's such a little shit - he still loves you to pieces and wants you to be confident in yourself bc he wants you to look at yourself like how he looks at you! D:

-

ay dilucs part is longer bc I have favoritism LMAO but shhh nobody needs to know

I SWEAR I HAVE MORE BUT THEY ARENT COMING TO MIND D:

but enjoy these anyways bb <33 I was planning to send an in-game diluc photo but I just realized that I don't have him <//3

MATCHING EARRINGS MATCHING EARRINGS

i hate earrings bc ✨gender dysphoria✨ BUT IF DILUC AND I HAD THE KIND U WEAR ON ONLY ONE EAR AAAAAA

okay big brother diluc is on my mind again 🧎‍♀️ not that he was ever off it

and kaeya being my no1 🥺 sir come here for kith <333 u will probably tease me and not gib me the kith but <3333

ty for these so much cal 🥺🥺🥺 big bro diluc always cheers me up hehe <3

AND THANK U FOR STRAINING UR BRAINCELLS FOR ME <333

[franboos]

hiii fran! i'm sending you lots of hugs and kusjes because you are special and because you deserve the most amazing things in life! i hope you're doing well and that you're having or had the most wonderful day, because you deserve that! 🧡✨ ((btw thank you for introducing me to a whole new world of music (yeah i'm talking about "... but you're in the bathroom at a party") haha. love that bb! please keep the music coming!)) 🧡✨

aaaahhh cille, thank bb 🥺💜🥺💜🥺💜🥺💜 i’m sending u many hugs and knuffels* back <3 hope the last few days of 2020 will be good for u and i’m sending u many good vibes. and lmaooo yeah no problem bro, i’m also obsessed and can’t stop listening to those djdhbdbdbd,, i’ll send it if i find a very good one hehe. ily <3

(*dutch word of the day: ‘knuffels’ means both hugs and stuffed animal, very amazing isn’t it?)

[inkykeiji]

hey clari !! sorry to bother u, its the anon who sent in the skincare ask but i read an angsty bokuto fic and must Vigorously Headcanon to cope hope thats okay???

he volunteers a lot!! he’s a riot in care homes (6 feet of handsomeness :’) the little old ladies love him and i say this as a person who volunteers at an elderly care home w two 6-foot tall guys) but he also volunteers at a daycare bc one of his sisters hooked him up ! on the weekends he likes volunteering at animal shelters after volleyball practice <3 it helps keep him in schedule bc he needed smth to keep him busy so he wouldn’t overexert himself (re: the compression sleeves bc theyre good for muscle recovery)

i uhh ship bokuaka with my whole existence so akaashi was actually the first person bokuto began feeling comfortable wearing his hair down around :) bokuto is actually a math whiz, he just has really complex analogies. if you can follow it through, you’re golden and akaashi always manages to <3 akaashi in turn tutors him in other things and they did tutoring every weekend and bokuto vvvv shyly did not wear his hair up one day and then just stopped gelling his hair around akaashi ever since <3 akaashi makes him feel good about having his hair down bc bokuto got so used to gelling his hair up, he mostly feels confident w it like that. hes v shy w his hair down

bokuto ! in ! athleisure ! his shoes are dope. i love my gym shoes theyre adidas bounce and looks fuckin sleek but BOKUTO? sickest kicks. he buys them based on reviews so he has some really really nice lookin shoes ! and his sisters help :)

he loves sparkly makeup! he likes really cool eye looks and is a god at eyeshadow but not as good w eyeliner. akaashi is (mayhaps unsurprisingly) p good at figuring out how to do eyeliner and helps him :) bokuto likes his glowy soft looks too but his eyebrows are always perfect

really thoughtful. always buys the right gifts for people. his love language is acc quality time, theres nothing that really means more to him than people existing around him <3

the best gym bro u ever done see. the nicest guy at the gym. everyone knows him. he helps all the short people (aka me lmao i love those guys) and meticulously cleans his workout equipment bc he wants everybody to feel comfortable!

thats all hope u have a nice night clari <333333

omg babie please you are never ever EVER bothering me by sending an ask pls none of you ever bother me <333 don’t ever think that!!!!! that is absolutely okay bb pls send in hcs whenever u wanna 🥺

first of all HOW DARE YOU RIP MY HEART OUT LIKE THAT you’re a hundred million percent RIGHT i could totally see bo volunteering everywhere he’s just so !!!! :(( kind <33 and such a ray of absolute sunshine aaaaaah thinking of him with the lil old ladies has my heart going 💓💗💝💘💕💞💗💕💓💖💘💝💖💓

SHY BO IS SUCH A CONCEPT IM GONNA C R Y pls 🥺🥺🥺 tbh i just love how much of a service dom akaashi is when it comes to bokuto. i love how he praises him and takes care of him and gets satisfaction out of it <33

listen bokuto has STYLE absolutely tbh i could see him having a huuuuge collection of sneakers/shoes that he’s very protective over

akaashi HELPING BO WITH EYELINER ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ANON this is so sweet and soft!!!!!! ah bokuto would look so pretty in sparkly makeup now i’m sad :(( he’s such a precious puppy

tbh YES i agree, i actually think he’s a lot more thoughtful and perceptive than he lets on, ESPECIALLY around the people he cares about. i hc him as someone who can pick up on extremely subtle changes in mood and vibes etc and knows exactly how to approach it (usually softly, calmly) n he always offers his help or an ear to listen because he truly hates seeing the people he loves upset :((

KIND GYM BRO BOKUTO PLEASEEEE i’m smiling like an IDIOT i don’t even have anything to add to that one you’re just 100% right. i really do see bo as someone who’s so genuinely sweet and kind and caring and just :(((( i love him a lot :(

thank you for sending these in sweetpea <33 come back to hang out whenever you’d like to!!

[hooned]

hello, hope you’re feeling better, love 💕 you don’t know me but i love your blog and i secretly read all of your tags underneath your posts because i think they’re so sweet and relatable!! also you make some of the most gorgeous gifs I’ve seen on this site so there’s that 🥰 AND I CAN TELL THAT YOU’RE CRYING OVER JC AND WWX STILL AND I JUST WANNA HUG YOU BECAUSE GIRL? Same. It’s been days since i finished this damn masterpiece of a show and my heart’s still hurting for those idiot bros 😭❤️

AISHIII!!! 💙 hello, my love!!! oh no no let's fix that 'not knowing you' part bec i would looove to be friends with youuu!!! 🥺 hi hi bb!! i'm jelly!!! 😁 also oh noo you read all my tags?? *hides the embarassing ones* ahhck,, thank you so much thoo. i'm happy u saw bits of it that makes your day and things you can relate to!!! AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS ABOUT MY GIFS I'M 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!!!

also yes. from now on, every hour is yunmeng bros loving hour. i love them and i love that they love each other so much. i just HATE how tHEY!! JUST!! WON'T!! MAKE UP!! ALREADY!! 😭 <<< literally me till that last scene of jiang chen looking into wei ying's direction and whispering so lovingly, "take care." 😭😭😭 I CRY. I CRY HARD.

+ send me opinions!! or anything!! (anon or not) 🍂

[messedupessy]

.> (was hesitating between ut and uf for that v so you tell me uwo) sans tried using a kid leash on papyrus (when they were younger) to try and make it easier to keep an eye on him outside. papyrus saw smth and rushed to it, sans ending up having to run a marathon for the first time of his life because papyrus is STRONG and now leashes are banished. forever -B☆

Hahaha this is perfect yeess I so can see this with the UT bros af xD this also like works so perfectly into another headcanon of mine, which was that Papyrus when he was small like 3-5 somewhere there he really wanted to be a dog so he behaved as one af, like he wanted to be tied up to things and carry things around in his mouth, bite and gnaw on things xD

So this could totally have been in that phase, Papyrus deciding to run after something and Sans just holding on for dear life because yes Papyrus be strong af yes! It’s perfect I love it headcanon accepted bb frenchy fry thank u!

It’s not silly tho funny yes, silly no its good af and ily too my sweetest french fry u the best too ❤❤❤

Send me a headcanon about my characters, if I like it it will become canon

[angelguk]

you wrote my drabble scenario request again 😭 thank u so, so, so much! It was very beautiful how devoted joon was to his wife.. and he was very firm yet still loving in his parenting 🥺 I loved how much of a daddy’s girl eunha was; she really went from “hating” her baby bro to loving him 🥺 and poor oc.. it seemed like it wasn’t an easy pregnancy? Loved how realistic you made it 🥺 ur one of my fav writers on here; thank u for creating bb!couple! their love for e/o brings me joy 🥰

thank you so much for sending in those adorable requests! im v happy and glad you enjoyed reading the bb!joon au! :)) and yes oc's 2nd pregnancy wasn't easy :( also that's so kind of you to say!!! im happy i could write something that makes you happy 🥰

[holdenwoodz]

(the emoji isn't working for me bc i'm a pleb BUT the loving text ! ) ⚠️, 💫, 💡, 💀 - xoxo your blue babe

a loving text

[ 2:16 am ] WELL. IT’S THAT TIME OF NITE AGAIN, BABY. WHERE I GET UNCOMFORTABLY EMOTIONAL. SO PREPARE URSELF [ 2:16 am ]  ok so on some real shit… like whenever i see you, like, i feel my heart go “!!!!”[ 2:17 am ] nO GIRL HAS EVEN MADE ME FEEL LIKE THAT, BRO.[ 2:17 am ] like my sheer unADULTERED LOVE FOR YOU IS SO POWERFUL, i’m telling u i could power ashmont with just that forever probably[ 2:17 am ] i could create a sustanable energy based on Just my luv for u. someone teLL ELON MUSK AND GRIMEZ!!! [ 2:18 am ] no but really, i love you dude. thank you for sticking it thru the best n worst times. neither of us have biological brothers, but you’ve always felt like mine[ 2:18 am ] except that one time we made out in boy scouts. that was the only time, i was like hmmm, maybe not my bro but he could be my babe. [ 2:18 am ] but we passed that now lmao. [ 2:19 am ] or are we??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)[ 2:19 am ] anyway, ilySM MY BEAUTIFUL ANGELIC BABY LENTIL!!!!! SLEEP TIGHT.[ 2:23 am ] i was too lazy to walk to ur room and love u down verbally. i also was afraid u might be Self-loving or smth. idk ur life, but i sympathize with ur lack of Sin Content. u do u bb. literally lmao.

a text meant for someone else

[ 8:29 pm ] god you’re so hot i could fucking cry. [ 8:29 pm ] pls send me more nudes randomly like this, it makes my life actually worth living[ 8:32 pm ] lmaoooo, JK………….. thi s was just a test[ 8:32 pm ] to see if you’d do it. no homo[ 8:33 pm ] ok bye. luv u~ [ 8:33 pm ] not like that tho

a late night text

[ 3:12 am ] idk where your dusty lil ass is rn, but boiiiiiIII!![ 3:15 am ] gary come home.mp3[ 3:16 am ] no but really, if ur out at a party w/o me you’re cancelled. [ 3:16 am ] like no eggcuses, i am DONE. with you. [ 3:38 am ]  babeeEE, PICK UP UR PHONE 

a scared text

[ 12:45 am ] i keep rationalizing daisey’s death as an act of Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeouf, so that i am less scared leaving the house past 11 pm[ 12:46 am ]  but it’s made me more scared to realize cannibals exist [ 12:46 am ] like homeboi cant pull up to buffalo wild wings, u gotta go eat a PERSON? what is that? what kind of weird flex?? [ 12:47 am ] no but really im still parked outside but i rlly want to go to 7/11, a bitch just wants a glazed donut. i’ll buy u anything u want, pls just come with me /: 

an urgent text

[ 1:32 pm ] [ img_3493 ] [ 1:32 pm ] bro come get ur Kid before she fucking bullies me into feeding her this cookie that will prob poison her.

[usersasaki]

(oof :’)) :hands u all the bentos and onigiri for uni: here’s some from me too big sib!) axdjdjs thoma go to big sib :< ,,anyways ikr?? like it’s too pretty to eat since it’s still art, but at the same time it’d be kind of a waste to not eat it,,also sending lots of loves and hugs ur way as well! ~Lycoris

awww JRIFDHEJ thank u lil sis <33 thoma would be a great big sib tbh,, if i hadn't fallen for him i would've called him my big bro fr 😭 it's vv conflicting 🥲🥲 on one hand, too pretty,, on other hand, it looks yummy too,,

sending u many many hugs bb mwah

[saintjane]

"The Six Wives" by a couple of mentally exhausted high school kids with horrid senses of humour

Henry: I NEED the two s’s in life: sex and sons

Catherine: HARK - arthur died and i’m a little caesar’s pizza

H: wanna fuck???

C: *subtle nodding*

*still births and miscarriages*

Squire: IT’S A BOY-

H: ah heck yEAH

S: Wait nevermind it’s dead. IT’S A G-no dead. ANOTHER BO-another death, dang okay

C: hey i’m pregnant again

H: will it work this time?

C: *gives birth to daughter Mary* We’ll name her Mary

H: It didn’t work smh

Anne 1: *sultry-model walk-by with a flirty lil wink* aye bb you know you want this

H: *wolf whistles* you heckin bet i do

C: *awkwardly raises hand to slap him but then remembers you can’t hit a king & deep breath*

A1: sorry henny. i will only hop on that dick if it makes me queen, otherwise imma just lead you on

H: in that case, imma hit up ma main man the pope

H: Yo, popey, my wife is broken. Please fix her. The bible says I shouldn’t have married her ‘cause she did the dirty with my bro. I want sons that don’t die. Send help

Pope: your bro has to be alive, dinkis. And your wife is, like, related to the totally not German emperor cause Germany isn’t a thing yet lol, soooooo I’m not gonna cross her. You also told me they didn’t do the dirty you fracken liar. Find a better waste of my time you fukin weeaboo. P.S. what kind of loser looks for really obscure bible verses? Get a life, ginger

H: But what if I give you money?

P: Then I’ll have money and you’ll still have a wife. are u dense????

H: what am I going to do?

A1: here, read this

H: what is it?

A1: 95 Reasons Why Fuck The Church by Martin Luther

H: this is solid. hey popey screw you i’ll create my own church

P: You can’t do that

H: Watch me. *walks to catherine and hands her a paper* it’s not me, it’s you. you’re broken. enjoy a musty dusty crusty castle and don’t ever try to talk to your daughter

C: *runs out hiding her face*

H: hey Anne wanna fuck

A1: heckin yeah

A1: *births elizabeth*

H: *unamused* what is this

A1: a daughter

H: well you definitely had it because of incest and adultery and not at all because i’m in love with Jayne Seymour

H: I King Henry VIII order Anne Boleyn to be executed on the date of May 19th and on Tower Hill. An expert swordsman from Calais will be coming in to do the execution. He slices and dices heads like its nothing.

*leaves to go hunting anne walks on stage gets on knees before executioner*

Executioner: any last words, cause imma slice you up anyway

A1: the king is a total 10/10. everyone should fuck him. very fair and kind lover. also, it’s a good thing I have a long ass neck because then i know for a damn fact you won't botch this

E: cool *slices off head*

H: *pops up out of thin air* She dead yet?

E: Totes

H: hey Jayne wanna fuck

Jayne: *shrugs* why not

J: *births Edward*

J: I give to thee a son

H: good lord finally someone who isn’t broken

J: *dies*

H: *laying on the floor in a ball rocking* oh,,, ok

H: I need a rebound

Squire: *holds up painting* how bout this hottie?

H: yeah sure

Anne 2: sup

H: ehhhhhhhhhhhhh wanna fuck or whatever

A2: I mean yeah we’re supposed to

H: idk i’m just not in the mood though tbh

Kathryn: *exists and breathes near the king*

H: oh dang

A2: k, i’ll just leave since we didn’t do the dirty and I’m pretty sure I never broke up with my last hubby

H: k, imma just call you “King’s Sister” ‘cause that’s not weird at all

A2: k cool bye

K1: hey

H: wanna fuck

K1: that’s kinda forward but yeah ok. Can i fuck everyone else too

H: no, that's my thing

K1: sucks *winks*

H: I don’t get it

K1: oh you will just not from me

H: wait a diddly darn minute *dramatic pause*

H: I think she’s cheating on me

S: Noooo. You don’t say

H: somebody Anne Boleyn her

E: you rang?

H: I, still King Henry VIII, once again sentence my wife to death cause this one is a jerk, guys. Okay? She just *sighs* she just isn’t loyal. These girls ain’t loyal. So kill her. Please.

E: any last words? The last girl was uber lame

K1: sorry he just couldn’t get it up and sex was so boring. 3/10. couldn’t do it anymore. I have needs and they have to be met, you know?

E: understandable. have a nice day *sword goes ching*

E: lmao. I love this job

H: now what?

Katherine: Hey big boy

H: flustered oh dang

K: my hubby died and I can’t marry your dead wife’s brother soooo, wanna fuck?

H: oh cool

K: btw, I’m named after your first wife. I’m basically an infant but let’s not talk about that

H: Whatevs

K: I find your reformation of the church mildly attractive

H: thanks I guess

K: so ummm, when are you gonna die?

H: Right now *drops dead*

K: Yay I’m free to marry that Thomas guy. Btw, do you want help with your whole regency thing Eddie?

Edward: get out don’t call me eddie, you swine

Mary: what about me?

E: no

M: Yes

E: ok. *dies*

M: yay, now to undo my father’s work *kills protestants with fire*

Elizabeth: can I be queen when you die?

M: no

E: please

M: no

E: fine, jerk

M: imma die now, just don’t let my sister become queen *dies*

E: ha ha. Get wrecked cunt. imma redo my father’s work and never marry cause guys are dumb and also HA looks like i'm getting the last huzzah enjoy your tomb in the protestant church bitch. soon i'll be buried on top on you maybe you should have played dolls with me more when we were children lololol

THE END

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E6

Welcome back to Let Me Watch TV 4 U, the blog where I watch TV for you! Tonight we’re talking bout Game of Thrones season 7 episode 6, “Beyond the Wall” aka Disney Presents The Walking Dead on Ice! Let’s jump right in to this icy abyss, shall we?!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

We open on a curious panning across of a map, and no I’m not talking about the opening credits. It looks like the giant map/table in Dragonstone? 

However we quickly cut to our Eastwatch crew...

...who are marching one by one further and further North. We’ve got Bae, (the artist formerly known as) Stoney, New-Thor (let’s just say Thor, shall we? He’s not so new anymore), Gingerbae, Gingerbun, Eyepatch, the Hound and approx 5 rando nightswatch dudes and/or wildlings who are doomed because no backstory = dead first.

First, we get some ice-breakers (sorry can’t stop won’t stop) when Thor tells us he’s never even seen snow before and I’m like bb boi come here to Chicago I’ll show you some midwestern winters! Thor is also still feeling a little salty toward Eyepatch and Gingerbun for selling him off to the red witch while the Hound keeps score and is like, Thor you didn’t really have it so bad. Gingerbun hands Thor the olive branch in the form of a flask.

Meanwhile, Gingerbae asks Bae about Khaleesi and Bae is all coy but GB sees right through that. Gingerbae helpfully reminds us that he still loves Brienne of Tarth (aka Ladyknight) very much.

Bae and Stoney swing their swords around (not a euphemism) and Bae tries to give his huge fancy sword to Stoney since it belonged to Stoney’s dad. Stoney is like naw, it’s yours man, give it to your KIDS. And we’re supposed to be thinking, whoa! Is Bae on the market for marriage/kids? Cuz sign us all up! Later Eyepatch tells Bae that Bae doesn’t really look like Ned Stark which, duh, cuz we know Bae is Ned’s nephew. But also Bae’s bio-dad was Khaleesi’s bro and apparently had silver-white hair like her so WHERE DID BAE GET HIS LEWKS FROM? Heaven, apparently.

Before we get into the meat, pun intended, let’s pop into Winterfell, shall we?

Sansa and Arya discuss gender roles and Arya tells us a tale of their dad, Ned Stark, sort of tacitly approving of her being a fighter rather than a lady. And then she’s like, speaking of, dad was killed by the Lannisters with YOUR help, Sansa. Arya brings up the letter she found last week that poor bb Sansa was forced to right by QPC and is not happy about it. And Sansa is really caught off guard but also like STEP ALL THE WAY OFF, I have been THROUGH IT. They argue about the past few years and who’s had it the worst but also as Leslie Knope would say, uteruses before duderuses, ya know?

Later, Sansa is talking to Littlefinger, who set up all this nonsense anyway and he’s like well Ladyknight can be your referee since she lurves both of you? But then Sansa sends Ladyknight away to King’s Landing to be her proxy in this upcoming summit with QPC. Towards the end of ep, Sansa decides to do some snooping of her own a la Arya last week and finds Arya’s suitcase full of faces from the face-swapping-assassin-training-academy which Arya dropped out of after a misunderstanding with a professor who wanted her killed. Sansa is like srsly, WTF? And Arya explains the face-swapping thing which sounds crazy the first time you hear it, but so did dragons and we got them now so all’s fair, right? Arya grabs a knife and basically threatens to cut Sansa’s face off but then hands Sansa the knife and scoots outta there. So at the end of the day, no Stark-on-Stark crime this week but stay tuned!

We pop in to see Khaleesi and Tyrion chatting by the fire…

She’s like, you know what I like about you? You’re not brave. And he’s like umm thanks? And then she’s like all of my fave bois are brave but stupid and she includes Bae on that list. And T is like, so you’re taking a liking to him, eh? They discuss strategy and have a little tiff wherein Khaleesi again questions T’s loyalty. And then he’s like btw, you said you can’t have kids so...who gets to be in charge when you die? And she’s like let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, and he’s like it’s called a LIVING WILL for a reason, babe.

Back North of the wall...

Bae and Gingerbae spot a bear but they’re like, that’s weird… he’s got blue eyes-ahhh zombie bear! Zombie bear kills one of the no-name/ no-backstory guys (like we care!?) and maims Gingerbun. Eyepatch smartly cauterizes the wound with his flaming sword while the Hound is too busy having PTSD about fire. Really unfortunate to be afraid of fire in a world without electricity, huh?

Bae and Gingerbae spot a small crew of ice zombies and decide to take one of them prisoner. During the scuffle, Bae kills a leader-ice-zombie and suddenly all of his pals drop dead too. They find out that you kill the leader, the rest die too- good to know! But in capturing their prisoner-zombie, his squeals seem to alert the 5 million other ice zombies to their location and next thing you know, the crew is about to be trapped. Bae smartly tells Thor to run back to the wall and tell Khaleesi the scoop. Poor Thor has to give up his hammer before he leaves so that the rest of the crew has more zombie-smashing tools.

SOMEHOW, I still don’t understand the logistics of it all, but Bae and crew get stuck on this little island surrounded by a frozen lake. The 5 billion zombies surround them but can’t walk further into the lake without falling in. It’s a real pickle. Luckily, Thor does make it back to the wall to tell No-Knuckles to send word to Khaleesi.

Speaking of Khaleesi, that raven flew fast because she already got the scoop. She is DECKED OUT in her cold-weather best and is heading North to save the day with all 3 dragons. Tyrion is like BAD IDEA HUN but she goes anyway. While Khaleesi flies like the actual wind on her #1 dragon, poor Gingerbun has succumbed to his injures or maybe freezes in the night and is no longer with us. So, much like Rose must let go of frozen Jack (but why does she say “I’ll never let go” as she is literally letting go? I’ll never understand the word choice), Eyepatch has to burn Gingerbun’s body before he becomes a zombie too.

Sidenote: Why didn’t everyone bring weapons made of dragonglass or valyrian steel? We know now that only these 2 things plus fire kills the ice zombies and Bae just mined heaps of dragonglass from Khaleesi’s basement for this very purpose. Sometimes I think I should be the King in the North, ya know!?

But back to the battle, the Hound decides to skip stones across the lake like an idiot, which leads the ice zombies to learn that the lake is frozen solid again. Now that the zombies can cross the lake, they attack the crew and they are VICIOUS. Bae and co retreat to another little island but are completely surrounded and basically dead. Bae is tweakin’ out probably thinking about what a bad idea all of this was, when all of the sudden, Khaleesi’s dragons have landed!

They all fly around burning up ice zombies by the hundreds and narrowly missing our crew. After Khaleesi successfully wipes out a good number of zombies, she lands to let her priority boarding pass holders on dragon #1 with her. Meanwhile, Bae is still fighting off some zombies. The #1 in charge ice zombie aka the Night King, throws a giant ice spear at #2 or #3 dragon (honestly idk, let’s say #3) and makes it on the first try. It’s sad that #3 gets speared and all but I’m kinda like wow nice shot. Dragon #3 falls into the icy water and sinks and Khaleesi is weepin’ about it.

At the same time, Bae is now fully overrun by interloping zombies and this FLIGHT IS ABOUT TO DEPART, honey! He falls into an ice-hole and Khaleesi sees the Night King winding up his ice javelin so she has to go. I know what you’re thinking, wow Bae is super dead, right? He fell into a frozen lake whilst being attacked by zombies. WELL YOU ARE WRONG.

Bae crawls outta that ice hole, grabs his fancy sword, and starts walking. Soon enough the zombies see him walking in a non-zombie-like fashion so they are on it. BUT Bae’s uncle Benjen (who is pretty much the only person whose relationship with Bae is unchanged by his whole bio-dad and bio-mom thing!) rolls up on his horse with his incense-swinger! Uncle B saves Bae (remember Uncle B saved Bran last season?) and sticks him on his horse, but stays behind to fight off zombies with his incense-swinger. Bae, who is like 65% Leo-from-Titanic-frozen at this point, heads back to the wall.

The rest of the crew are back at Eastwatch and we learn that the Hound is the one who’ll be bringing the “sample zombie” back to show QPC. Khaleesi is watching from the top of the wall to see if Bae makes it back while Stoney is like, let it go, he’s dead, I’m alive and recently not-Stoney...when suddenly Bae rides back to camp.

On the ship back to Khaleesi-ville, Khaleesi sees Bae on the operating table and notices that he has a stab-scar on his heart. Remember when Bae died and then got brought back to life but then Bae has been super secretive about it? Well the secret's out babe! She watches him being warmed up/revived and sits there watching him sleep for awhile #gottaenjoytheview. When he wakes up (still topless!) he’s like wow I’m so sorry #3 dragon died this was a horrible plan. And she’s like no, I’m glad I saw the army of zombies. I will fight with you, Bae.

And Bae is like wow, also I know I said I wouldn’t kneel to you but honey, I will. Then he calls her Dany and she’s like...eww...my creepy bro used to call me that. And he’s like well then I’ll just call you MY KWEEN. And I’m like yassss gaga. Also they hold hands. Also, she’s like I can’t have kids, ok?!? So just… cards on the table. They hold hands some more and it looks like we might get a little kiss but naw, she’s G2G.

In our last scene, we see thousands of zombies working together (good for you! teamwork!) to pull dragon #3 out of the frozen lake. The Night King walks over and touches him and BAM! ZOMBIE DRAGON. SHIT IS GONNA GET REAL.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: Uncle Benjen? How did you know Bae was in this part of town?

Biggest letdown: I wanted more witty banter from Thor! Also, enough with the will-they won’t-they, GoT. This isn’t Cheers!

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi’s Wintertime Fantasy Realness was GIVING ME LIFE. THAT. COAT. 

Who died this ep? Gingerbun, a lot of ice zombies, Uncle Benjen (although he was kinda already dead?) and dragon #3. RIP Gingerbun I will miss being confused-ly attracted to you.

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends and subscribe!?

[padfootdidit]

burn through my soul

a  fyre festival au because i have 0 chill, set in the ‘marble hearts collide’ universe bc ria asked for like an 80k companion fic, and because 36 of you seemed to like the idea. basically: it’s half fyre and half ust denial jily and a Big Mess.

for @gxldentrio @petalstofish who asked for more and @fredweasleying who supports james and sirius’ stupidity

most of my info is off the snapchat stories, articles and tweets but i’ve also done a lot of exaggerating, so take all reference to the festival with a bit of salt

It’s Sirius’ idea because, if it involves a stupid waste of money and the promise of celebrity chefs, it will always be his idea. And, because it’s Sirius’ idea, James is in. 

“It’s ridiculous,” Lily says, scrolling through the festival’s instagram. 

“No, it’s luxury,” Sirius says and snatches his phone back, “you wouldn’t understand.”

Remus raises an eyebrow, “she practically lives with you, I think she understands what luxury is.”

“And waste of money,” Peter adds, helpfully. 

“I can’t believe I let any of you into my house, when you’ve just come to insult me!” Sirius pouts, throwing himself dramatically back on the chaise. 

“Criticise your money spending habits,” Remus corrects, and just manages to dodge a throw pillow Sirius launches at him. 

‘What does Potter think, anyway?” Lily asks, looking down at her own phone. 

“Why does Potter’s opinion matter?” Sirius retorts. 

Lily is definitely avoiding eye contact, “It doesn’t.”

There’s a murmur of disbelief, and Lily scowls at her phone, knowing that if she looks up she’ll be accosted by five raised eyebrows, because only Sirius has learnt how to raise both separately. 

“But, seriously, when is Prongs back?”

“Well, Moony, funny you should ask...” Sirius smirks, “he arrived last night.”

Lily’s head shoots up, “but -”

“But what Evans, not happy to see me?” A voice comes from the doorway, and they all turn to see James leaning, not as gracefully as Sirius would have, against the doorjamb with a smirk to match Sirius’ on his face. 

“How long have you guys been planning that?” Peter asks, and he’s not as fast as Remus so a throw pillow hits him in the stomach.

Remus laughs, “probably longer than they’ve been planning this festival bullshit.” 

“Losers,” Lily mutters, finally looking away from James, pretending that her phone screen is more interesting than the bit of chest his loosely tied dressing gown shows. 

James Potter to lily evans’ home for peculiar children: we made it to the airport folks

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black: fight me bitch

Lily Evans: we thought ur chauffeur might crash on purpose 

James Potter: why would he do that???

Sirius Black: i dont have a chauffeur

Sirius Black: i have wesley

Peter Pettigrew: who is a chauffeur

Sirius Black: no he’s my driver

Remus Lupin: difference?

James Potter: more importantly tho

James Potter: he would never crash on purpose

Lily Evans: he would if he thought it might shut u up

Sirius Black: y would anyone want to shut us up

James Potter: yeah

Sirius Black: thanks bro

James Potter: i got ur back bro dw

Remus Lupin removed Sirius Black from the group

Remus Lupin removed James Potter from the group

Lily Evans changed Remus Lupin’s nickname to our lord and saviour

“Do you think they’re there yet?” Lily says, watching Remus as he methodically searches through Sirius’ drinks tray. 

“I think we would know if they were,” Peter answers drily. 

Remus pauses to inspect a label closely, “Pete’s right, we’ll know.”

“Missing them already?” 

“Fuck off,” Lily scowls, “just want to ask Sirius his netflix password.”

“You don’t know already?” Remus says at the same time Peter says, “bitchbetterhavemymoney, capital B.”

Lily frowns, “he told you? He doesn’t tell anyone.”

“Correction, he told James, and it’s way easier to bribe James than Sirius,” Peter smiles triumphantly. 

“I swear you use it all the time? Remus asks, setting down the bottle in favour for a shorter, fatter one. 

“He logs in for me and then makes me log off afterwards,” Lily says, rolling her eyes. 

“Here we go,” Remus stands, presenting a bottle of scotch to Peter and Lily, who are cuddled up together beneath a blanket on the sofa, and grins, “the most expensive bottle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Because, last time you said it was and then he came back and told us it was only his third most expensive one and -”

“I’m sure,” Remus says, interrupting Lily. “Not only is it the most expensive bottle on the living room’s tray,” he gestures around the room they’re in, “it’s also more expensive than anything in the drawing room.”

Lily Evans to ovaries before madame brovary: remus found it

Lily Evans: party @ 10

Mary MacDonald: should i bring snacks

Gemma Jones: ahhahaha gd one

Mary MacDonald: thank you <33

Lily Evans: he’s put a padlock on the chocolate cupboard but the pantry is full

Marlene McKinnon: I can’t believe we know someone who has a pantry

Lily Evans: shameful isn’t it

James Potter changed the group name to WASSUUUUUP

Sirius Black: blocked

James Potter: u said u liked it???

Sirius Black: yh i lied

James Potter: fight me bitch

Peter Pettigrew: ur plane didn’t crash then

James Potter: landed safe and sound

Remus Lupin: shame

Lily Evans: have they showered u in gold bars yet

Peter Pettigrew: have they got a red carpet for u all

Remus Lupin: are all the other rich ppl as rich as u

Lily Evans: have u had a competition to see whos richest

Peter Pettigrew: i bet the toilet had tenner notes for paper

Remus Lupin: more like fifties

James Potter: u all suck

Sirius Black: they’re just jealous bb 

Lily Evans: but srsly

Lily Evans: what’s it like

James Potter: amazing 

Sirius Black: the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful

James Potter: it’s like a rich persons dream

Remus Lupin: u, as a rich person, cannot make rich ppl jokes

Lily Evans: ***rich bitch

Lily Evans: check ur privilege potter

Sirius Black: says the white girl

James Potter: checkmate

Lily Evans: point 

Peter Pettigrew: have u seen a jenner yet

Remus Lupin: is the only available beverage pepsi

Lily Evans: ^^^the real question

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK DID MCKINNON JUST SEND ME A SNAPCHAT OF HER IN MY BATH

Peter Pettigrew: i’ll ask her

Peter Pettigrew: she says it was for the vine

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE IN MY BATH

Sirius Black: GET HER OUT OF MY BATH

Sirius Black: u r having another party aren’t u ohMYGOD

Lily Evans: brb

Remus Lupin: idk i can’t read suddenly

Peter Pettigrew: gtg sorry bye

Sirius Black: TRAITORS

“What if James finds, like an heiress though? What are you going to do then?” Tegan asks, leaning so far across the table Lily can see down her shirt. 

“Potter can do what he wants,” Lily shrugs, “why do I care?” 

“Because you’re in love with him,” Marlene says, high-fiving Mary. 

Lily downs the rest of her wine glass, “factually incorrect.” Factually incorrect meaning unwilling to admit the truth. 

Gemma shakes her head, “how could you not be in love with him?”

“Very easily,” Lily snatches the bottle from Mary’s hand and pours herself another drop. Drop meaning entire glass. “It’s like this,” she pauses to take a sip, “you guys are projecting your fantasies on to me-”

“Oh, no no no!” She’s drowned out by cries of protest and drinks the rest of her glass as a distraction. Drinking red wine is so easy when she’s already drunk.

Thankfully, she’s saved from any more discussion about a particular black haired man by Peter sprinting in the room, skidding to a halt with his phone held out in front of him, “Have you seen this?”

Fyre Festival Goes Up in Flames

The luxury beach festival due to be held this weekend in the Bahamas has begun but, unlike the promotional videos, there is nothing luxury about it. Festival goers who arrived early have been reporting rabid dogs, empty tents, and not a single celebrity in sight. 

Snapchat videos and tweets show people arriving to what some have described as the ‘season finale of the Walking Dead’. Inside the tents, which are being fought over as we speak, empty mattresses and tables which look like they’re from IKEA are stand ins for the promised ‘5 star accommodation’. Since festival go-oers paid between $2,000 and $12,000 for this, it’s understandable that they’re annoyed.

Reportedly, celebrities who promoted the festival, such as the Jenner sisters, Bella Hadid and other supermodels/quasi-celebrities, were warned not to attend in advance of the festival. 

Lily Evans to the lord of the flies just got Real: hahahahhahahahahaahhahah

Remus Lupin: anything u want to tell us lads

Peter Pettigrew: we kno that u r online

James Potter: what are u talking about

Remus Lupin: “”””the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful”””””

Lily Evans: http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39743303/luxury-fyre-festival-is-cancelled-with-ticket-holders-still-stranded-in-bahamas

Sirius Black: technically

Sirius Black: i only lied abt the tents

Lily Evans: firstly...... are u guys okay?

James Potter: yh

James Potter: pissed off n hungry but yh

Sirius Black: i’m gonna sue

Lily Evans: secondly

Lily Evans: ahahahahahhahhahah

Peter Pettigrew: what a scam

Sirius Black: they lost my gucci suitcase

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black removed Remus Lupin from the group

Peter Pettigrew: are u gonna start eating each other

Lily Evans added Remus Lupin to the group

Lily Evans: r they dividing u into groups to fight to the death

Sirius Black left the group

The thing is, Lily isn’t in love with James. She knows what love looks like. Her parents were in love, Petunia loves Vernon (not that Lily understands why), Frank and Alice are in love, Marlene and Tegan are in love. She has seen love. It’s holding hands and forehead kisses and long trips away to the beach and getting a dog together and sharing interests and watching tv all day in pyjamas and sharing bank accounts and smiling when the other person isn’t looking and wanting to spend the rest of your life together and having inside jokes and knowing as much as possible about the other person and knowing that no matter what you’re always safe with them. 

And sure, she and Potter have a lot of inside jokes, but she has a lot of inside jokes with Peter too. And sure, they’ve spent all day watching tv together, but never on the same piece of furniture. And sure, if she needs help she goes to Potter, and if she’s sad she rings him, and if she sees a funny otter video she sends it to him, but that’s how it’s always been, and sometimes she goes to Sirius too. Plus, they don’t have a puppy together and Lily is pretty certain they’ve never held hands. So, really, she can’t be in love with James.

The conclusion is a good one, Lily thinks as she finishes her third glass of wine (third really meaning ninth) and allows herself to pay attention to the others again. It’s difficult to play charades when she’s distracted by the thought of being in love with James Potter, but now she’s cleared that one up, it’s easy to guess that Remus is acting out National Treasure 2. 

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u better not let anyone in my bedroom

Lily Evans: locked

LIly Evans: dw

Sirius Black: stop having parties w/out me

Lily Evans: stop locking away all the good booze when we have parties w u

Sirius Black: point

Peter Pettigrew to mckinnon just threw up in the bathtub: hows the prison food

Sirius Black: did mckinnon acc throw up in the bathtub????

Sirius Black: which one

Sirius Black: the red room?? downstairs guest ensuite?? MINE??!1?

James Potter: better than evans’ cooking

Sirius Black: wHICH BATHTUB

Remus Lupin: lily would like to say that “””if i had any energy to waste in replying to potters insult then i would remind him that euphemia said i was a better cook that him””””

Sirius Black: pSTOP IGROING ME

From: jamesfpotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

To: euphemiapotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

Subject: Betrayal

Dear Mother,

Evans told me that you said she was a better cook than me. Just emailing to check that you would never betray me like this.

Love, 

Your son,

James

Sent from my iPhone

From: euphemiapotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

To: jamesfpotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

Subject: RE: Betrayal

James darling, 

Please don’t use the company’s email for personal matters, you know it annoys everyone.

Lily’s cooking is a delight. It’s not a betrayal if it’s a fact. 

Love,

Mother

P.S Your father told me that festival you’re at turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Are you planning on coming home?

Lily Evans to James Potter: i CANNOT believe u emailed ur mym

Lily Evans: acc i take that back

Lily Evans: I CAN U LOSER

James Potter: u r durnk

Lily Evans: n u arent?????

James Potter: ppl r looting

James Potter: kinda scary shit

Lily Evans: dont let any1 steal sirius

Lily Evans: hed go for a Lot on the black market

Lily Evans: aahahaah

Lily Evans: brb gptta share my pun w// the group

James Potter: we’ve booked a flight for tomorrow afternoon

James Potter: gun get wasted on beach tomox

Lily Evans: legendz

James Potter: didnt cum to the bahamas not to get a tan

Lily Evans: cum ha

Lily Evans:  u r permanentnly tanned?????

James Potter: ik

James Potter: just wanted to remind u that im in the bahamas n u r not

Lily Evans: blocked

Marlene and Tegan get the downstairs guest room, Remus and Peter crash in the extension Sirius constantly denies he added so they could have their own rooms, Mary and Gemma take the upstairs guest room which Lily usually sleeps in, which means Lily is left with five choices. She could share with Mary and Gemma because it’s a king sized bed, but Gemma snores. She could sleep in one of the other two guest rooms, but she’s pretty sure one of them is haunted, and the other one has a broken bed from when Alice and Frank stayed around last week. Which leaves her with Potter’s room. Unless she really wants to picklock Sirius’ and risk facing his wrath.

It’s an easy choice really. Potter’s room is sans snoring, sans ghost and sans broken bed. Lily nods to herself, and walks up the staircase, waving a middle finger at Mary and Gemma when she passes their open door. The gits. 

Potter isn’t even here. It’s not like she’s sharing a bed with him. 

Lily shivers at the thought.

She shuts the door behind her and climbs into the bed, definitely not looking at the millions of framed photographs he has on his bedside table. One of him and the boys back at boarding school, arms looped around each other, smiles wide. Mary had taken that one, the day they all finished their GCSEs. One of him and his parents, at their vow renewal service, James and Fleamont towering over Euphemia. One of him and a bunch of kids all sat on a hospital bed, a sign above the bed saying ‘thank you!’. One of him with Graham Norton, both looking too excited. One of him and Sirius, young, really young, looking almost identical. One of him and all of them, taken by Euphemia at his twenty first birthday party, just before Remus threw up all over everyone’s shoes. One of him and -

Lily squints, leaning out of the bed to look at the one tucked away at the back, almost hidden. Fuck, it’s her. It’s them. She remembers it. It meaning the moment that landed them in seven gossip magazine, too many online columns, and one list of the hottest couples this month. It was one of his charity balls, for mental illness she remembers, one filled with celebrities and champagne trays and tiny snacks which would never satisfy any normal human being. 

They’re standing on a balcony, London spread out before them. They hadn’t noticed a photographer, or anyone, because they’d been too busy discussing the pros and cons of making a rope out of Lily’s dress to escape. Potter had suggested tying it to the balcony, climbing down and hailing a cab. He was kidding of course, because he loved these things, because it meant he got to talk about all the causes he loved and everyone had to at least pretend they were listening or their photograph would be splashed beneath a headline which read ‘B List Celebrity Hates Kids’, depending on which cause the ball was for that month. 

But Lily, Lily who had grown up in a mining village and worked for every penny she had, still wasn’t used to these balls even after five years of them. She loved the glamour and she could pull off confidence easily, she just didn’t like that she could never tell if people actually cared or not. 

So Potter, ever kind, had gone along with her escape plan, coming up with more pros then even she could manage. Then the flash had gone off and they’d jumped, quickly returning inside because James had to make a speech. Or something. 

The photograph hadn’t captured their shock though. It had caught her laughing, bright and full, and him smiling, kind and soft, and really, they did look like a couple. They were standing too close, looking too happy to not. Except they weren’t, and the group had had to spend the next three weeks batting away reporters about who was the stunning red head who had captured humanitarian James Potter’s heart. Then it had died down, and everyone had forgotten about the picture, even Lily.

It shocks her that it’s there, on his bedside table. Makes something burst in her chest, a rogue party popper. 

So, instead of confronting all the thoughts that pop into her when she sees the picture, like a rational adult, she rolls over, buries beneath the silk sheets and promptly goes to sleep.

James Potter to can someone tell me which bathtub please??: so someone recognised sirius

James Potter: so now he’s trying to make a raft

James Potter: out of his remaining gucci luggage

Remus Lupin: let me know if he drowns

James Potter: why is no one recognising me

James Potter: my achievements way out rank his

Peter Pettigrew: yh but you’re not a black

Peter Pettigrew: n u’ve never been in a commercial for toothpaste

James Potter: im a potter tho

Remus Lupin: plus u’ve never been pictured naked in the sun

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: shhhh stop buxxing my phone

James Potter: mary told me u were sleeping in my bed

James Potter: u better not have chundered in there

Lily Evans: brb gtg kill mary

James Potter sent a video.

James Potter: if u evr wanted to kno what sirius screams sound like when he gets his hair wet

Remus Lupin: did he fall in??

James Potter: some tit capsized him

Remus Lupin: brilliant

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[30/04] Pictured: minor celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.

Remus Lupin to which fucking bathtub was it: have you heard the news?

Remus Lupin changed Sirius Black’s nickname to minor celebrity.

minor celebrity: blocked

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: did u get the banner yet

Remus Lupin: i cant believe we r throwing them a welcome home party

Remus Lupin: they were gone for like three days

Lily Evans: but they survived a disaster remus

Lily Evans: a disaster™

Lily Evans: a travesty™

Remus Lupin:  i got the banner

Remus Lupin: what r we adding to it

Lily Evans: i want it to read ‘welcome home minor celebrities’

Remus Lupin: padfoot is never gonna let u in his house again

Lily Evans: we both know that isn’t true

Remus Lupin: point

James Potter to it was all the bathtubs: we landed safely

Remus Lupin: shame

Peter Pettigrew: u better have bought us some souvenirs 

James Potter: does duty free count

Peter Pettigrew: blocked

“Surprise!” They all yell, as James and Sirius step through the door, their bags brought in moments later by Wesley. James jumps, looking satisfyingly surprised, whereas Sirius just scowls and turns to help Wesley with the remaining suitcases. Clearly, their antics were old by now.

“Here are your disaster survival kits,” Tegan says, offering them two first aid kits which Peter had filled with tiny vodka bottles, rape whistles and Finding Nemo water proof plasters. James accepts both, Sirius just leading Wesley through to the kitchen. 

It’s not long before they’re all at least tipsy again, Sirius having finished his temper tantrum over a) the amount of booze they drank and b) the fact that McKinnon had never actually thrown up in a bathtub at all. Lily finds it especially easy to get drunk, probably because she starts drinking whenever James tries to talk to her. 

She’s not sure why, but she suspects it has something to do with the photograph. The photograph which she keeps seeing in her head, framed next to his bed. So, every time he comes near her, she brings her glass or bottle to her mouth and refuses to make eye contact.

A successful technique with Potter, but no one else and it isn’t long before Sirius has her cornered, having spotted her new found avoidance scheme. 

“You throw us a party, but won’t even talk to one of the special guests,” he says, swirling his scotch around the glass, “would you care to comment?”

“I prefer A-listers to minor celebrities,” she says before she can think of anything else, and because she knows Sirius is still sore about it.

“If you would just stop, and listen to one of us, you know you’d be so much happier,” he sighs. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lily says, and promptly turns her back on him. 

James Potter to Lily Evans: mum wants to know if you’re coming over for sunday lunch

Lily Evans: when dont i

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: u recovered from ur traumatic time yet

James Potter: not sure

James Potter: thinking of setting up a charity for everyone who went

Lily Evans: omg ive got a rlly good name for it!!

Lily Evans: trust fund

Lily Evans: oh wait..........

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[01/05] We would like to apologise to anyone who may have found insult in one of yesterday’s tweets concerning the Fyre Festival. A redaction has now been approved: “Pictured: Celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.” 

[pacman-tattoo]

Would it be possible for big brother Michael headcanons? 🔎👀 (I really like how you write Michael honestly aaaa)

i thought about big brother michael a lot while i was writing the big bro jeremy headcanons because i mean michael might as well be family

im lov him

so big brother michael. best big brother btw like fuck everyone else i got requests for, michael is gr8

also like i said with big bro jeremy how michael might as well be family, jeremy is there all the time????

also i said this with jeremy but VIDEO GAME SIBLING BONDING

BUT ALSO WORSE

CASUAL CHEATING

“YOU LITTLE SHIT” “MICHAEL UR THE ONE WHO SHOWED ME THAT” “THAT DOESN’T MEAN U CAN USE IT, THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT U LIL S HI T” 

good times

y’know how michael buys 90′s soft drinks in the back of spencer’s?? sometimes he’ll let u have some

sometimes there’ll be certain shit like “aw dude i wish i had (whatever discontinued soda)”

michael remembers this shit

one day ur having a bad day and he just walks in and holds up a 2-liter or w/e of said soda

“mICHAEL YOU DIDN’T-” “who’s the best big brother???” “that’s a tough question. i mean, jeremy is pretty cool- but jeremy doesn’t bring me discontinued soda so… it might be you.”

thanks michael

u went with michael (and jeremy since when is jeremy not with michael) when he got his pac-man tattoo??? “can i get one-” “no” “ughhh jeremy pls tell him” “no” “this is unfair ur both teaming up”

michael and jeremy teaming up against you happens a lot but MICHAEL AND YOU TEAMING UP AGAINST JEREMY???

bye jeremy

he’s gone

he’s dead

you two killed him

and like, this is just over non-serious shit like michael would take ur side in a heartbeat if things were serious

but sometimes you three play video games just because u pester them enough and michael’s like “fine go get the other controller” but also because jeremy’s kind of ur friend too???

(”kind of” more of “actually is” because “jeremy’s cool!!!! he’s kind of a nerd but he’s cool!!!”)

but you aren’t nearly as close to him as michael is so after jeremy gets squipped and starts ignoring michael, you’re more pissed on michael’s behalf

michael starts questioning shit and wondering what did he do???

“michael i’m gonna punch him” “[y/n] don’t punch him-” “I’M GONNA PUNCH HIM HE’S UR BEST FRIEND, HE DOESN’T GET TO DO THIS SHIT WITHOUT REASON”

you don’t punch him.

sadly.

(yet)

michael comes home pissed??? and upset???

jeremy talked to him for a moment before just… leaving.

“michael, i’m gonna punch him and u can’t stop me.”

next time you see jeremy you approach him and basically tell him off.

he responds with some snarky comment and his friends just kinda laugh you off. you’re kinda mortified but you straight up punch the boy in the face because no one fucks with your brother, especially not his best friend

you get detention for a week. it’s worth it.

michael doesn’t think it was but it kinda was.

michael comes back from that halloween party??? he’s shaking and obviously really panicked and ur like ‘FUCK WHAT HAPPENED’

i like to imagine that michael wouldn’t really cry in front of u because he needs to be the “strong big brother!!!” and you’re his little sibling but he just kinda breaks down and you just kinda sit there while he cries on u

:(

he starts burning the stuff??? from jeremy??? ur kinda sad but, fuck, what can you do

:((((

seeing michael!!! happy again!!! after he gets his best friend back!!!!

alright that was a lot of just me rehashing the plot because i have No Self Control when it comes to that shit

so uh

michael has bad days sometimes so you send him shitty memes

he groans but he also smiles a lil

you two… really don’t fight? like, video games are one thing, but for the most part you two are pretty laid back.

michael gets stoned. you have a couple vids of some of the stupider shit. blackmail.

alright so like, halloween. imagine you two having matching costumes growing up????

like its all nerdy shit but it’s cute shit

michael gets his license. ur happy but ur just like “fucking finally i have a ride places”

also dumb inside jokes

OKAY BUT YOU TWO REFERENCE VINES ALL THE DAMN T IM E

“and they were roommates!” “oh ym god they were roommates……”

it annoys jeremy sometimes because you two jUST NEVER STOP WITH THE VINES S T O P TURN THE MUSIC BACK ON MICHAEL P LE AS E

also imagine having conflicting music tastes??? you two fight over it.

that’s also the reason jeremy gets to sit in the passenger seat and he’ll usually get to play whatever music

thats all i got bb but if i come up with anymore i’ll probably make another post

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 1 - “Okay, I’m back so fucking buckle up” - Trace

But not two minutes into the game and I'm already stressed out of my mind to see that Nehemiah is here. I swear to god if that kid decides to fuck up my game YET AGAIN, I will lose my fucking mind.

Timmy doesn't seem like a gemini. He seems a little boring. Maybe I'll make a f2 deal with him. That seems predictable though.

Okay, I'm back so fucking buckle up.

This is an interesting twist. I really hope we don't get targeted because I filmed my introduction for 5 minutes. that would suck.

Also, am I the only one that thinks Devon on the Leo tribe looks like Bertram from the show Jessie?

Also, willow, my sign partner seems cool from the one exchange we've had. Hopefully we can work together in this game.

Ok, matt the saggitarius seems really cool. His entire introduction was memes which I approve of. He may be a social threat down the road as he seems very likable.

So anyway the twist of our two person tribes is that we must vote out an entire star sign. This is supposed to be taken sort of as a "first impressions" vote.

The way I see it it would make the most sense to vote for a star sign pairing with a winner since they have already made it to the end in the series and got the votes to win. I think that narrows it to two people (I could be wrong as I am on my phone looking at stuff and it is unreliable.

Owen and Kait have won and Kaits win is less relevant in my eyes since she has gotten sixteenth on her following games. So it makes sense to me to target Owen's sign.

On the other side of this, should we or others choose to target players they perceive as annoying or a liability in the game I think my sign has a high likelihood of being first gone. Nehemiah does not have the best reputation and some might see it better to vote him out before he stirs the pot.

I dont blame them.

Anyway, I kind of like this twist and if I am one of the first out and it's not a twisted twist where we go to redemption island or something to that effect I want my survivor avatar for this season to not be Lil but to be changed to Wanda Shirk.

I am aggrivated at the fact that Matt S. does not know the correct way to eat an oreo.

I sware everyone in this season is from Chicago except for me. 

Bro Matt stop eating the damn oreos. I'm trying to hear what you're saying but all I can hear is the crunching noises from the chewing!

mr oreo literaly said he has a deep history of being a wildcard and that you should work with him because he's trustworthy.. this doesn't add up my guy

this dude is literally named chips. now that is epic

Nehe is really ecstatic that he is legal. bruh

Nehe has the weirdest ways of showing the number 6 on his fingers.. like what?

Nehe says he is very emotional.. idk how willing I'm gonna be to work with someone who could potentially use emotions in this game.

Nehe, stop with the gang signs please

Drinking Game: Take a shot Nehe does a gang sign.. post your results below

hmm.... this ascension twist is funny. I am crying laughing because i was like, so timmy, who do we think we should go for? and he was like... nehe hates me.

JOIN THE CLUB. this is the only time that i think a vendetta worked in my favor! so luckily me and timmy are on the same page and hopefully nehemiah is packed up before the game even begins.

I am going to be paranoid quite honestly all day long, because if nehe doesn't like both me and timmy, then that is a big problem for me. also gemini's are batshit, so people could target us for that reason alone. I am hoping that some people will look at other star signs that have really big players and target them, but i'm not idiot. the sheer number of seasons I have played already puts a major target on my back.

I hate this because I basically just have to sit back and watch. but hopefully the pisces will be sent packing and trace will live to see another cracked out day.

Ok so this twist got me big mad. Like I’m happy I don’t have to try to message many people, but only one other person...and this twist wtf. But I’m happy it’s Trace because he seems cool yet here I am being a dead lobster because I suck at having good opening conversations. But I want to talk about the cast I can remember, or at least all I feel like typing right now. Trace and I want the pisces out and thank god because nehe hates me so that’s exactly what I want so it’s lit. Chips is ok but still I’ve fought him in orgs before so it’s for the best that he goes too. Owen and Stevie are scary and this probably is a perfect time to get rid of them but I guess that’s how they (mainly Owen) go far since they know how not to be the biggest threat while still technically being a threat. Maynor is a king...but the last game I played with him I idoled him out so that’s a thing, hopefully we can work on that though because he is a friend. OH OH OH CULLANS INTRO VIDEO OMG THAT WAS A RIDE. Like omg it was over 5 minutes long and he just kept going and I loved every second of it. I’ll look at the rest of the cast tomorrow so expect another cast assessment. Stay litty.

Ok, so I’m looking at the cast reveal now so I’ll talk about those who I haven’t yet. Renée: I think I’ve see Renée around before and like I feel she does well a lot...she might be the one who has won bb Pokémon but idk, if so, gotta keep an eye out. Chole: we stan a European queen like love her accent and she seems cool. Ian: idk who that is and...idk their intro is sports so who cares. Timmy: oh fuck that ugly bitch, they don’t know how to have a social game so they’re gonna flop majorly because they suck. Jacob: honestly idk how I feel about Jacob. I like him more as a person than i have previously like I respect him, but idk how this game will go. Madison: oh she scary and I love her with all my heart and yea but she scary. Idk who Corey and Devon are. Stephen: I LOVE STEPHEN. So I was in his first game ever, which was also Madison’s first game, so they’re family because that cast honestly is tight. At least we were, but I love them all and he is such a good person and I want to play this game with him but idk how it’s going to go. Either way he is one of my favorite people in the community because he is nice and real. Also side note, i was in Maynors first game too (different game than Stephen and Madison) and he won so he’s scary but I love him because I knew him from his start. Idk Taylor but we stan. There are 12 cast reveals so imma stop here because I’m so tired.

First of all, I have never done Tumblr Survivor until now and right of that bat, I'm confused as fuck. My partner, Kait, seems extremely nice and we were forced to be besties day 1. She seems to know more about this community than me so hopefully she can help. I noticed that Beastman (Matt B.) was in this game and Willow? I don't know if that is the Willow I played with previously. I think I also noticed Maynor and Chloe from the FB Survivor community and I am glad to be playing with them. I hope this first vote me and Kait can survive because going out day 2 would be a shame.

Pre challenge eliminations are dumb, that being said I honestly don't care if Taurus is eliminated because of it, literally nothing to be done to avoid it. Fucking do it. I know jack shit about Chloe, I don't care to at this point in time, if we aren't eliminated we'll be on opposite tribes, if we both last long enough to be on a tribe together, that's chill. Every game I've lost because I've played for other people, this go around I don't give a shit about nothing or anybody.

This sign partner twist is very nerve wracking. Because u cant talk with anyone but your sign partner, makes it hard to figure out what the others would vote for. I just hope my partner and I dont get voted out.

This twist was not the way I was expecting the game to start. Clearly the hosts are ready to send us right into it, but at this point I just really feel like me and Timmy are being lead to the slaughterhouse.

I was talking to Timmy about it, but neither of us know that many people in the game, which could be a good thing for us while we hope our names are kept out of their mouths. Of the few people I have interacted with on this cast, we have pretty mutually pleasant relationships so hopefully that will also keep us safe. I don't know, this is just really tough because there is not much we can do in terms of trying to save ourselves. I will most definitely be sweating all day long until these results are posted.

I am starting to like Timmy more and more. He seems like a nice guy, but sometimes can be a little bit hard to talk to just because he seems to be a man of very few words. No problem with that, just hard to read people that aren't super talkative and open. I have a feeling that we will be split from our teams to make tribes if we make it past this round, so hopefully the little seeds I have planted in Timmy and my's relationship will grow into a beautiful flower by the time we get to a swap or merge situation.

Other than that, there isn't much I can do but to cross my fingers and hope for the best. Hopefully this won't be the end of my journey in Kuwait, but at this point I have to expect the worst possible scenario...

It feels good to be back but I did assume there was gonna bemore newbies than veterans. Yet there isn’t so that’s interesting. The whole zodiac thing is cool in itself but it sucks that someone has to go home so fast best based off past impressions of others. I mean people do t like me. I have a reputation so this twist is not in my favor and Chips my Pisces partner does not necessarily help me jut there either. Chips is likeable but conniving. I mean we def could be the one to go. And it sucks

We ‘decided’ our votes are going on the Scorpios. Like we didn’t have a lot to go by. We brought it down to Libra and Scorpio then we random.org to decide their fate. I cant believe we did that but o well. I just want to survive this first vote.

This is a crazy twist but oh so much fun. I definitely do not feel safe, but that’s every round. I think we made a good choice.

Fun fact: my reasoning for wanting to eliminate Cancer is more than "fuck cancer" that's just the excuse I came up with to tell people as to why I "randomly" voted for Cancer when they inevitably aren't the ones eliminated.  It's purely my motivation to eliminate everyone I have have been in a game with before, starting with Madison.  If it happens, chill if it doesn't I'll have to find another way to go about getting her, Devon, and Trace eliminated in this game.

omg. Devon is fake as shite I don’t trust his judgment but I also think I can play him in the long run and I genuinely think he thinks I’m a d*mbass (which is what i want). I think I might go home especially if Renee spoke to ppl she has preexisting relationships with (I know it’s not allowed I just think it could happen). I hope I remain in this game bc I’m excited to compete tho!

So... this is annoying. This whole star sign twist is kind of forcing my hand in who to try and connect with, and you know the others are bonding too. But still, even when voting out one star sign thats 22 people, i mean Australian Survivor starts with 24, but most tumblr seasons dont get near that. What else do they have up their sleeve to speed things up?

Willow is really chill and cool. I think we can work well together and stay libra strong. I'm personally wanting to try and get Pisces here because they have the potential to be social threats later on so might as well vote off threats while we have the chance.. however, I have a gut feeling they aren't actually going to be eliminated and may come back later so that is something to look out for.. if so, we need to claim we voted someone else incase they find out.

Willow and I had a very long conversation about college and stuff and I can really see myself working with her in this game. We have lots in common so as long as we trust each other we should be able to go far together. I have a feeling we are going to be split by ourselves after this so I probably won’t have willow by myside until a future tribe swap

Also, my partner seemed a little all over the place at first. He eventually calmed down. The problem with new players is they usually try to make their mark early and that could be trouble.

I had anxiety through out that whole tribal. I’m glad that Renee and I survived and didn’t get a vote. Pisces being voted out is 🤷‍♂️. Like idk why but I felt they were gunna get a few votes. Between the two I want Chips to survive and come back. I think I could work with Renee but we havent talked much so going to try and see howni feel later.

You had no fucking idea how stressed I was when I saw that there was one gemini votes. Whoever did that has one person to answer to: jeff fucking probst christ.

I am SO happy that Nehemiah clearly has enough adversaries in this game to make himself an automatic target. Hopefully he will be sent home during this retrograde situation, but I have a feeling he will stay because he is very strong in challenges. I feel a little ridiculous for having such a strong vendetta for him this early on in the game, but I know that he is a number I cannot trust so it'd be ideal for him to head home earlier than later.

Thank god I can rest for another day...

hello friends.  i told myself that i’m gonna force myself to write these .   So first couple days have gone past.  not too much has been going on.  24 person cast was kinda expected tbh with the season being battle of the signs and whatnot.  my partner SUCKS!!! he hasn’t talked all game until this morning so we’ll see how that goes moving forward.  having all the teams vote out one team was something else and unexpected but expected to cut down the size of the cast.  where the game goes from here, i have no idea and i’m excited.  i’m even more interested to see how the game shakes down after the pisces challenge.  cause that leaves 23 ppl and a whole lot of ppl left

randomly voting people without talking to people I'm sleep. my partner is boring and doesn't talk to me it's all zzz

Im BEYOND thrilled that there is someone looking out for me and like seeing what a fucking snake Nehe is. Karma got to him last night and I was living for it. 4 votes from 12 tribes. That's 8 people that DID NOT want him here. And oh my god, I was living. Yeah sure we (Aquarius) got a vote but that didn't matter because I'm very close, oh so very close to not seeing Nehe in this game EVER! So I'm pulling for Chips to win and let's put that out in the fucking universe because Nehe winning and returning probably means that he'll get some secret advantage that may bite me in the ass down the road.

Sorry I’m just sending one for the first time. Just kinda ranted to my Skype.

I’m indifferent about Pisces getting voted into the elimination. I didn’t talk to anybody so as long as I’m okay i don’t really care at this point. My partner seems nice enough - hopefully he sticks with me.

I’m looking forward to interacting with people. The intros made everyone look like they have very similar personalities, so I’m hoping to find a few people who i actually think are cool and interesting. I’m out for blood, mawma.

So far so good? The two person tribe thing definitely freaks me out, and it shows that I have to put in work to maintaining a good relationship, but I feel like Adrian and I are on the same page. I always strive to have one really really solid ride or die per game and usually it doesn’t work out for me, so this time I’m willing to do what it takes to keep this duo. It was interesting to see that there were four tribes who wanted Pisces out, but I also was nervous about the one Aquarius vote (I hope it was from Pisces so that we don’t have to worry about them, but if it was from Willow then I’m anxious!).

This twist is weird FHSHSHD at least we voted in the majority tho?? I kinda wanna see Nehe come back from the challenge bc we've played before and he was pretty cool and he's friends w Benj!! Anyways I like Cullen he's pretty cool to talk to

Welcome to Kuwait bitches !!!! I just had a huge margarita and I’m drunk so now I’m gonna tell u about it.

Nothing has happened for me yet except I’m with Stevie who is a Capricorn. He said nice he is my masc gay friend because he plays flag football. Kinda cool he’s my bud but I rlly wanna TALK TO OTHER POEOL!!!!!!!! 24 is a too much cast I hope Nehemiah beats chips because I am friend with Nehe and people clearly don’t like him I guess Iran kinda suspicious that four teams all voted him!!!!

But hey listen you wanna know what’s even fucking worse ?????!!!!!!! = TWO FUCKER ZODIAC SIGNS VORED FOR ME AND STEVIE!!!!! What the Afuck is UP WITH THAT!? So I’m coming into this game with a grudge already except I have no clue who the grudge is against. It’s honestly kind of upsetting and I rlly want things to get started so I can talk to people and be cute. I’m trying to think they’re rlly aren’t many hot boys yet except trace is kinda cute. I need to find out which straight boys there are the.

Ummmmm I love corey I was in nyc with him so thays cool we met and we’re sisters. Kait is a queen and I rlly hope she wants to work with me but it’s scary bc sometimes she ones after me. I bet she wrote the same thing about me lol. If she voted for me and Stevie she is dead to me!!!!!!!! Redhead Timmy is cool he’s nice and my friend. Love Brandon, I hope he wants to work w/ me bc last time we played a game together he got mad evacez. That girl named Chloe seems nice too bad I voted for her but a t least no one else did

This confessional has been so fonking boring I’m gonna make a video later don’t worry

brought my poppers to the party now I’m ready to watch the fun xo

Hello, So Aries got no votes and I feel blessed but also y’all stuck me with maynor, the drunkest person in this game, who’s chill but also I feel like he’ll fuck me over first chance he gets. But anyway I didn’t really want Pisces to go, mostly for chips because I think he’s the one that sent me a $10 google play gift card in 2016 for winning fan favorite once in a game he hosted and I STILL remember the movie I bought with that $$$ so I wanted to play with him so hopefully nehe goes so I can play with chips and get more google play gift cards hehe. Ok I need to go talk to maynor more even if it’s difficult bc I need allies ok bye.

So here I am!!! First confessional of the game! I am honestly shook that Kait and Owen are playing ahhhhh!!! Scary!!! But also my first impressions made me not like Chips so much so I’m glad he’s been voted “out”. My only hope is that he is the actual first boot of the season and that the other guy comes back! 🤞🏻

So it comes as not surprise to me that the Pisces get the majority of the votes. Even not knowing the details of Nehemiah and his relationship with others I am aware of the impression he gives. I was in the viewing lounge for International House of Survivor where people actively rooted against him as well as the duo's season of House of Shade where he was not taken seriously at the finale.

Truthfully it is kind of terrible to be targeted because I am on a tribe with someone who is not well liked by a chunk of the cast but I guess those are the punches you roll with. It would be similar in situation for anyone who had been put with a winner had the players not voted personally.

Instead of getting voted out we were given the chance to do a challenge. The challenge is counting as high as you can go and Nehemiah asked me to throw it for him. He said that he is not playing anything and that this is all he has. I told him that I didnt sign up for the season not to play at all.

I decided I am going to count to 1337 and then stop. If Nehemiah wants it more than me and he counts higher then he deserves to continue on. I want to play and I want to compete but I have had a busy day with my wife celebrating her birthday and my infant needing lots of attention.

I hope this is not my last confession but if it is it will be a fun experience getting first boot.

So we have this TikTok challenge for immunity and the one thing going through my mind is how the Hell are me and Kait going to do this? Neither one of us know how to use TikTok and now we have to make a video using it? Hopefully we can adapt quickly. It shouldn't be that hard.

A tiktok challenge. Really why. I hope Renee and I are able to be part of the 6 signs who are safe. I dont know how tiktok works so hopefully what we came up with is fine. I will literally die if tiktok is the reason we lose immunity and i go home. Like please dont let that happen.

I feel fairly confident that I’ll be going to tribal council this episode, because the Tik Tok challenge is proving to be a bit difficult, and I would do it alone if I could but I can’t! I wanna make this whole thang work with Adrian but now it’s making me nervous. If I get eliminated from Survivor because of Tik Tok I’ll SCREAM for a hot minute then work it into a standup bit or something

Well it is day 3 in this game and I am still pretty bored. I am PRAYING that me and Timmy can pull out a top 3 win in the video challenge so that way I can have other people to talk to. It's not that Timmy is THAT boring, it's just hard to only speak with one person when the game has 22 others.

Normally I hate these kinds of challenges, but I actually think that I came up with a pretty good idea. Hopefully Timmy can supply and we will be able to pull this one out. Obviously I am happy to not be first boot, but sitting around and waiting for stuff to happen is my least favorite way to play these games. Wish us luck!

Renee is editing our video. I am very nervous cuz idk if the judges will like it. We dont have go be the best. All i care is for us to be in one of the 6 spots of saftey. I dont want to have either one of us in danger of leaving. Im crossing my fingers and i hope they like it enough. This 2 tribe  twist is so nerve wracking. 😧

Think I might just take a nap bc stevie isn’t giving me any ideas to work with and I rlly don’t have a single creative idea in me rn I’m actually so annoyed like can he please just come up with something I’ll do all the work I’ll edit and whatever if he can just make the CHOICE!

So the past round has definitely been eventful for the sole fact that I was already voted out of this game before it even started. Like it kinda fits though seeing how I am and the relationships I’ve made over the months and years I’ve played these games. There are definitely tons of people from different games and different reasons to which I screwed them over. Definitely left sour tastes in majority of their mouths and I didn’t even realize who majority of the cast was until I was voted out 4-2-1-1-1-1 cause we voted with our sun sign. Chips was cool and I personally wanted to rebond with the dude after Kilimanjaro and on top of that I just feel bad. The dude was voted out for being my partner. I sent that motherfucker home unintentionally.

I had no faith in myself that I was winning that challenge yet now here I am still in the game with a chance. Yet the game was hit with another massive wave in the form of a twist that honestly is clever. The tribes of 2 is staying that way which unfortunately for me means my tribe of 1 is also staying that way. Top 6 teams will be safe meanwhile the bottom 6 go to the war zone aka tribal council. Where one is voted out. Now in my perspective if I was to lose this challenge (which hehe all on a tribe by myself having to depend on comp skills puhlease) I  will be attending an 11 person tribal council with all tribes having 2 but me. So I would outright stand as an easy target but I’m not going to roll over and die. The best way to survive would definitely be to worm my way into the ins. I also definitely need to right the wrongs that I have committed to some of these people who already decided to not want to deal with me. I mean what’s the point of getting rid of someone who is definitely going to be in the war zone a lot cause he can’t win by himself BUT he would most definitely be a number for your game if you choose to use him. The game is gonna merge into official better tribes sooner or later and I want to be there when it happens and I know I’m a loyal person to have by my side. There are people in this game that I haven’t played with or met and this is good for the power of surprise to the type of player I am.

Ok woo, so trace and I voted in the majority for the first vote so that was amazing. I'm sad Chips left and not Nehe because that would've made the game a lot better. I'm just hoping with this challenge and nehe being alone that his score is lower since it'll probably lose some comedic value...or at least I hope. I hate this challenge with all my being though because music video type challenges are the thing that gives me the most anxiety in orgs. Going to tribal doesn't even give me as much anxiety tbh. I usually don't even submit this challenge but I can't let trace down because that would suck for both our games and right now I need to focus on his game as well. Trace has been so helpful with this challenge and I'm so thankful that I'm on this tribe with him since he came up with the song and is doing the editing (i just had to film 15 seconds of me not trying to look totally disgusting). But all in all I think this will be a good video and I'm excited to see the results.

So my partner Devon and I are safe this week. For now, this is ideal as I need my first impression to be lackluster but still.. safe. I want people to see me as a loyal but foolish pawn who could be useful in competitions (not deadweight) but no comp threat. The downside is the lack of socialization. I can still only interact with Devon and am isolated from people I need to interact with, such as Madison or Owen or literally all the people I have absolutely no knowledge on. I fear pre-mades / pre-existing relationships. 4 votes on Virgo seemed unlikely but Chips leaving was good imo as there seemed to be more than 1 person from their cast in this game if I correctly recall from the intros. I will try to DM Devon more than I have as I need us to have somewhat of a bond or understanding even if it's only till ponderosa as I know most duos will have similar kinds of deals/bonds and to not have one is a disservice at this point although having him leave could get rid of the potential deadweight in upcoming challenges. Regardless, a healthy social bond never hurt me. I am excited for this twist to end whenever it does because it really is slowing down my momentum and makes me feel like I'm behind (I said this before I was isolated with immunity too). Final thoughts: not bad for a dead bitch!

Wofhei Stephen ❤️ Hopefully he wants to work with me. The last time we played I did blindside him, very hard. The two ppl i want to strengthen my bonds with is Stephen and Madison. Ive meet Madison before so this is gunna be exciting to get to know her more. And hopefully wants to work together in this game. Matt B from Marmoreal I need to talk to because it’ll be noce since I kinda talked to him in my host chat. Also someone Im leaning towards working with.

This twist is so awful, so much strategy and factors are removed by not actually being in tribes. Its a mess, and a 12 person tribal? awful. But hey I have a planning day tomorrow so I dont teach, get to spend the day getting some form of alliance going, hopefully that can protect me cause..... if this twist continues ill be going to tribal a lot

Hello, Honestly fuck this twist!!! Making me play the first night small talk game AND the first tribal panic game in 1 day this is NOT fair. Actually I’m being dramatic it’s kinda interesting because it’s forcing me to play without knowing shit. Anyway I think I can trust maynor, ian has been really fun to talk to so I’m glad for that, I reached out to almost everyone else.. hopefully we can all agree to just go for someone inactive for this vote, then hopefully y’all will finally make us real tribes (hint hint) thanks ok bye

It’s been nixe talking and getting to know the other people but like we have a tribal and vote someone off. So kinda nervous havent heard anything about that. Renee and I decided to try and get votes for Cloe. She seems really nice but havent talked to her much. Im sorry Cloe if you do end up going.

Safety? For being the only duo to make a TikTok with a Survivor moment and not a song? Iconique! Who knew the judges were such avid Brenda Lowe stans. I live and love them for that! AND we scraped by the first tribal!!! YES safety!

In other words, Nehe being the one with the top score this challenge..... What the fuck? I seriously need him to go like NOW. Its probably weird of me to be all obsessive about him, but like the things that this kid can do. Like people should fucking learn that you never can trust him and since he's all alone- the moment he goes to tribal, Im gunning for his ass.

I have talked to Cullan, Willow, Ian. (New people to me). Ive talked to Stephen, Matt B, and Madison (who i know). I havent talked to Cloe, Brandon, Taylor, and Jacob. I really like Ian but idk how he feels about his partner Cloe. Since Cloe is mine and Renee’s target.

At some point the ball has to start rolling, if it already has I'm fucked and didn't get out ahead of it fast enough. I've played real nice and friendly because first and foremost you need numbers and have to maintain those numbers before you can get into a position to start trimming the fat. I need this vote to go one really anyone but me and Chloe, I still need her, for now. Chloe needs to be my get out of jail free card. As of writing this, Brandon seems like the most likely target to pin the vote on. He hasn't talked to me yet and I'm under the impression he hasn't talked to others either.

We roughly have 2 hrs before tribal and None of these FOOLS are talking about the vote. :p imma die but i think atleast it might end up being between Cloe and BDC. I really like Ian and Matt B but the two targets are their partners so i hope me voting BDC or Cloe wont affect them potentially working with me.

It looks like BDC may be going which is awesome because he really hasn’t talked to me (or anyone else). I really hope people aren’t lying to me when they say they are good with voting BDC tonight. This is giving me facebook game flashbacks where there wasn’t much game talk and I was blindsided. That once tribal has given me soo much anxiety and makes me very paranoid this first tribal. I just hope me and Renne dont get any votes tonight.