#i also have this rly weird memory of walking on all fours while having a spare rib in my mouth one night and my parents not approving of it

[messedupessy]

.> (was hesitating between ut and uf for that v so you tell me uwo) sans tried using a kid leash on papyrus (when they were younger) to try and make it easier to keep an eye on him outside. papyrus saw smth and rushed to it, sans ending up having to run a marathon for the first time of his life because papyrus is STRONG and now leashes are banished. forever -B☆

Hahaha this is perfect yeess I so can see this with the UT bros af xD this also like works so perfectly into another headcanon of mine, which was that Papyrus when he was small like 3-5 somewhere there he really wanted to be a dog so he behaved as one af, like he wanted to be tied up to things and carry things around in his mouth, bite and gnaw on things xD

So this could totally have been in that phase, Papyrus deciding to run after something and Sans just holding on for dear life because yes Papyrus be strong af yes! It’s perfect I love it headcanon accepted bb frenchy fry thank u!

It’s not silly tho funny yes, silly no its good af and ily too my sweetest french fry u the best too ❤❤❤

Send me a headcanon about my characters, if I like it it will become canon

[horsegirlhob]

what's your opinion on each 1d album? as in bad songs, good songs etc

Up All Night: Bubblegum pop, not really my speed and definitely the album I listen to the least. The singles are the most memorable parts of the album. Best song is I Want, worst song is Taken.

Take Me Home: Still very poppy, but the songs are consistently bangers. Not a big fan of the slower songs (same with the first album) because often with slower songs lyrics are very important and the lyrical quality in the first two albums is,,,,,,, something. But yeah, I was home alone all week and this is the album that I blasted while I was cleaning. Best Songs: Heart Attack, Rock Me, She’s Not Afraid, Loved You First. Worst Songs: Over Again because “I can make your tears fall down like the showers that are british” is a terrible line and also I associate it with being on an airplane for some reason, and Live While We’re Young because it is and always will be a Glee song to me. 

Midnight Memories: I think it’s weird that this is considered their worst album considering that this is where I personally think they started hitting their stride. Best Song Ever and Story Of My Life are two of the most iconic One Direction songs and they’re both off this album. I also appreciate the more rock influences (it’s still clearly pop, but it’s more along the lines of something I could get away with forcing my family to listen to.) I like that they were starting to write their own music more on this album. It’s certainly not as good as their last two, but I like it better than the first two (or the first one at the very least).  Best songs: Diana, Strong, Happily, Little Black Dress, Little White Lies, Better Than Words. Worst Songs: Half A Heart (because it fucking SUCKS), You & I purely on the basis of the music video, and Best Song Ever due to personal soccer trauma reasons

Four: This is by far the album that grew on me the most, and I can see why it’s widely considered their best album. Not much else to say here, It’s a solid album. Is it my favourite? Sometimes. No I will not elaborate. Best Songs: Ready To Run (I once cited this as my all time favourite 1D song. This is half because it’s a rly good song, and half because I have really fond memories associated with it) Where Do Broken Hearts Go, Girl Almighty, Fireproof, Stockholm Syndrome (I do prefer Harry’s solo cover though), Clouds (purely on the basis of the scream at the beginning). Worst Songs: Once In A Lifetime, Act My Age, Night Changes (once again due to music video crimes) 

Made In The A.M.: Is this my favourite 1D album? Probably. Is it the album I would choose to listen to while sitting in the Arizona desert watching the sunset one last time as an asteroid collides with the earth eradicating all of humanity? Absolutely. Best Songs: Hey Angel, Infinity, If I Could Fly, Olivia, Love You Goodbye, Walking In The Wind, Wolves. Worst Songs: Perfect, I Wanna Write You A Song

Top 5 songs: Ready To Run, If I Could Fly, Walking In The Wind, Where Do Broken Hearts Go, Olivia

[philcmenabadadink]

cisfemale — ever hear people say PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL looks a lot like NATALIA DYER? I think SHE is about 19, so it doesn’t really work. The FREELANCER is here because THEIR VAN BROKE DOWN and they are from WOODSIDE, CA. They can be WHIMSICAL, but they can also be APATHETIC. I think PHILLY might be N/A. ( snot goblin. 20. est. she/they. )

hi hello friends ,,, i bring to u my third character and the Newest Muse i have created ... which means i’m still working on her ! so pleathe bare w/ me as i have no idea how she’ll rly truly turn out. but !! as always, give this a LIKE and i’ll come bother u !!!

TW: CANCER, IMPLIED TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. MENTAL HEALTH )

a e s t h e t i c s

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers.

general info !!

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th lmao !!

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: ??? $500 ebay mystery box. pansexual if you had to label it.

pinterest

stats

biography !!

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are ... eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children ... it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels...less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen ... van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way. 

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

she gets medication, and life is normal.

it’s four years later and they’re in vermont when their good ol’ trusty van - affectionately named florence - breaks down in a town called livingstone. the cost is more than they have at the moment, and they’re stuck. philomena thinks she likes the town - but she doesn’t know about the watershed. 

personality !!

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in livingstone - would hate to make enemies whilst florence is getting repaired.

they’re staying in a motel, currently, in the cheapest room they could get. philly will still visit florence. will sometimes go home with strangers purely to take advantage of a comfortable bed and a shower with better pressure.

it’s a common occurrence - she doesn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weasels her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. 

will consume a n y t h i n g you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggles.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

wanted connections !!

random encounters - she’s new in town and doesn’t know many people - if anybody at all, so :-)

alternately, people she’s run into with elektra during their journey. whether they’ve stolen from them or stayed with them somewhere or just, ate dinner with them. anything.

someone whose couch she’s crashed on after a night of whatever - a party, adventure, etc.

people she does jobs for !! people who commission her to make stuff for them. people who need a babysitter.

people who think she’s weird - and those who like it. or those who hate it. people who don’t understand her - people who do, in their own way.

someone trying to get closer to her but she keeps slipping out from between their fingers.

a parental / older sibling figure !! they take one look at philomena and instantly want to swaddle and protect her.

people who take an immediate liking to her. people who introduce her to the music scene. people who show her around town.

someone who catches her stealing or about to dine-n-dash.

late-night walking pals.

a dealer b/c weed ? a thing.

someone who gets into a debate with her about conspiracies or superstitions or anything !! someone who gets frustrated at her apathy.

somebody who just immediately distrusts her for whatever reason.

??? you don’t have a smartphone ??? cue someone trying to teach her how they work - and philly hating it !!

thrifting pals.

m a y b e a hook-up, eventually, but it’s questionable.

something unrequited, likely on their end b/c philly is ... a hard egg to crack.

maybe something returned !! eventually. slowly. slow.

god ... someone she just tells her entire life story to. like this meme. 

i’m rly down to brainstorm and think of anything !!! dnt forget 2 leave a like :)

[srawesleyghuewrites]

Always - Part Four(Last Part)

Series: Always(Part One, Part Two, Part Three)

For desktop users: masterlist

For mobile users: mobile masterlist

Pairing: Damien x MC(Catherine Park), in which she also dates Hayden and Sloane

Book: Perfect Match

Word Count: ~ 2,000

Rating:  M for language

Author’s Note:

And here is the last part *sniffs* that I loved writing because I miss Perfect Match a lot!!! Anyway, it’s been a nice road and I’m rly glad about this little fic, where I got to explore parts of their relationship that PB did in a different way AND write about Damien again <3 (the man has my heart!!!)

I don’t know very well who to tag so I’m just gonna throw some of my favorite people here and hope they like it: (feel free to let me know if you don’t want to be tagged or if you do haha):

@pukichun , @eileendannie , @drakewalkerstan , @walkersdrake , @tacohead13 , @minion-on-board , @simmerbychoices , @damienazariostan , @goingbackwardsfromdeath , @countrymusicandncis-blog , @lovelanique , @princess-andromeda-nazario , @the-everlasting-dream, @mrsnazariowalker , @mrsnazariowritesagain , @ughhhxjazzy , @indiacater

Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me I just borrow them from Pixelberry!

The left side of my bed’s an empty space

“Cracks won't fix and the scars won't fade away

I guess I should get used to this

The left side of my bed's an empty space”

The apartment was quiet as the clock ticked 2:43 AM. Nadia and Steve were sleeping in their favorite position, with him being the big spoon. Hayden and Sloane fell asleep with their legs tangled and their heads in the most weird angle as possible, the tv still on, but on mute so it won’t wake them. Catherine sleeps with her eyes closed shut so strongly it looks like she’s in pain, and she has curled her body into a ball for the past half hour, her usual nightmares haunting her ‘till her bones. Meanwhile, Damien’s wide awake in Dames room. His memories still to fresh to allow a good night’s rest, he’s laying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling in the hope this may help sleep him fall asleep. There’s the light snoring coming from Nadia in her and Steve’s room, and absolutely no other noise.

Until there’s a scream. 

Except for Sloane, everybody else wakes up with the loud noise. Hayden rouses in a scare, heart racing and mind getting full with all the horrible possibilities, then she feels the weight of someone’s leg over hers and sees her best friend still sleeps peacefully. She doesn’t get up, knowing damn well to who that scream belonged to. Cath’s been having nightmares about Damien since the kidnapping so she also knows that he’s probably the only one who can help.

Steve has the same thought when Nadia tries to get out of his embrace in a desperate move from waking up scared, he looks her in the eye and starts caressing her back gently until her quick breath starts aligning with his calm one. She still stares at him with teary eyes, worried about her cousin having the same night terror for so long, but he simply kisses her on the cheek and whispers: “She’s gonna be alright, Damien’s here.” And that’s what it takes to keep Nadia at peace to get back to sleep.

Damien’s up as quick as possible and he recognizes Catherine’s voice in the same speed, the terror already installing on every fiber of his body. But he needs to think as a former Interpol agent and not as a fool in love who just heard the love of his life let out a painful scream in the middle of the night. He shuts down all the horrible scenarios in his head and walks discreetly towards her bedroom. Her door is slightly ajar and from where he was standing, just outside the room, he could see her thrashing and sobbing in her bed. It wasn’t possible to see if there was anybody else in there, silently he opens the door enough to get inside. His eyes search the room for any threat to her or anything that would cause Cath to scream like that, when he finally assures himself that the room is safe, there’s another huge anguish boiling down in his mind. 

Why didn’t he fucking slept by her side tonight? He wanted to, so very much , but it didn’t seem right for her to endure his sweaty nightmares.

Those weeks away from her were torture and not only because of the actual torture Cecile put him through, physically and emotionally, but for being away from her. Not knowing if she was alright, if she had even realized he’s been kidnapped, if she had chosen to stay with the ‘better version’ of him, or if she was in a cell like his experiencing all the horrible things that him. That was the worst part, not knowing about Catherine. It’s what truly broke him and since he’s been back, his thoughts are on how this broke him and changed him in a way might never be fixed. However looking at Catherine right now, curled into a ball as she sobs uncontrollably and mumbles disconnected words, sweat covering her beautiful features that now portrait deep pain and desperation, he realizes how this changed her too.

“I remember we were strangers

So tell me what's the difference

Between then and now”

He takes a step towards her and another scream erupts from her lips. Catherine’s body still squirming in bed and the nonsense gasps now are pleading words, he freezes when he hears them for the first time.

“No! Please don’t take him… please I’ll do anything… just don’t hurt him! Damien… I’m so sorry..”

She’s having a nightmare about him, much like the ones he used to have on his cell. Damien puts a gentle hand on her arm before sitting next to her. Her eyes are still closed and her crying gets every minute stronger, she almost can’t breathe. And then she starts mumbling louder and louder.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM! DON’T YOU DARE HURT DAMIEN! PLEASE CECILE PLEASE DON’T… DAMIEN…”

“Catherine.”

He tugs on her arm. Which only makes her squirt more and start whispering between the sobs:

“Damien… where’s….please… Damien…”

Seeing that Cath won’t wake up with gentle touches, he holds both of her arms and puts her in a sitting position, all the time whispering comforting words to her. 

“Catherine, it’s me… I’m right here ok? You gotta wake up babe, it’s just a nightmare.”

She opens her eyes slowly and the second she sees him, her arms lounge his neck as she buries her head in his chest. Damien is more than happy to pass his hands around her waist, bringing her closer in a tight hug as his lips kiss her head several times.

“She...she.. to-ook you from me-e…”

“But now I’m here. We’re both here, in your room, safe.”

“Oh Damien…”

She clutches him as strongly as possible, wanting his embrace to take away all the fear and pain inside her. Slowly her breathing’s becoming more even and the sobbs are stopping too. He strokes her back sweetly.

“I’m here with you and I’m safe, alright? It was just a nightmare Cath, just a really bad nightmare.”

He repeats the words once and keeps repeating until her teary eyes finally find his expectant ones and he says it for the last time. It’s a whisper against her lips, his hands now cup her cheeks, their faces inches apart and yet Damien doesn’t move a muscle until she moves closer. Their foreheads are resting against each other, Catherine closes her eyes and he kisses her so slowly she forgets everything else for a while, enjoying to much how sweet and fully their lips feel when brought together. The feelings inside her are still confusing from everything that went down, however what she feels for him it’s so clear almost hurts her that she’s never declared that to him, even when more then once they almost lost each other. Yet, maybe she postponed the moment until now without realizing, just so that it could be as perfect as those chocolate intense eyes, with bright spots from the lamp on her nightstand, now gazing lovingly at her

“I love you.”

As terrifying as Damien thought it could be, after hearing Catherine’s words and seeing her smile shyly, nothing sees more simple and natural then what he saysnext.

“I love you too, Catherine. So fucking much.”

Their next kiss is more passionate, more intimate, full of all the sentiment those words meant for both of them. Catherine hadn’t said this for a long time to a romantic partner and she’s not sure she actually meant before because she’s never felt like this with anybody else. Not to the point where there’s no limit to how much either would risk to save one another, or when simply gazing at each other can make their heart flutter and melt at the same time. Meanwhile Damien has never said this to anybody, living most of his life trying to keep the distance from anything to get attached. Never even crossed his mind that he would say this to Catherine.

And when they break apart she plays with his hair, his eyes taking a long time tracing her features. He cleans the last trace of tears with his thumb before getting up and giving her a kiss on the forehead. She holds his arm before he can go anywhere and with pleading eyes asks:

“Stay?”

Damien pretends to think for a second and then murmurs a ‘scoot over then’. She eagerly moves aside for him to lay beside her and once he does, she quickly embraces his waist. He smiles tenderly at her and rests his palm over her head, saying in a playful tone:

“Well, since my very beautiful face keeps you from having nightmares. I suppose I can do the sacrifice.”

She chuckles and playfully hits his arm. He’s starting at her in such an adoring way, he’s happy his teasing caused the smile on her lips. 

“You’re lucky you have that beautiful face, because your jokes are getting worse by the second.”

“Always disregarding my very good sense of humor. As if yours was any better.”

“At least I’m not the one always making the crappy jokes.”

It’s Damien’s time to chuckle now. A few minutes later he gives her a peck on the nose, and a goodnight kiss he always dreamed to give her while in that cold and empty cell.

“Goodnight Cath.”

Catherine kisses him one more time, lingering with her lips above his to whisper.

“Goodnight."

THE END

[fellintotartarus]

i think we partied too hard

on ao3!

i'm obsessed with one night stand amy gets pregnant fics rn (literally don't ask why... shut up) I'm also VERY MAD about the green book win (it was a category filler?! roma deserved it shut up) so you get this, i guess.

Jake sat with his head on the table groaning. He had spent 29 hours awake, running on 2 hours of sleep, and he could not crack this case. Amy sat next to him in the same fashion, in the same situation.

 After 29 hours of looking at the same case board, interrogating the same perps, and running the same routes, they were no closer to bringing down this mysterious drug lord. The clock ticked teasingly in the corner, reminding them of the time elapsing that they couldn’t solve the case.

 All of the sudden, Jake’s head snapped up.

 “Ames,” he whispered. “It’s the sister.”

 Amy’s head shot up. They stared at each other before smiles crept onto each of their faces. They solved it.

 —

 That night, the whole squad went to Shaw’s to celebrate. They were waist deep in shots, pints, and, in Holt’s case, Charbonay. It was a sloppy drunk kind of night.

 Four-drink Amy had come out to play. Terry tried to get another drink in her so that she would stop terribly winking at everything that walked, but the bartender had cut her off and was watching them with a hawk eye. They wanted to stay more than they wanted five-drink Amy, so they let her horniness run rampant.

 Jake was not a heavy drinker, but this case closing was a cause for celebration, so he was wasted. He didn’t have a tiered drunkenness scale like Amy did, but after six drinks he was strangely flirty as well.

 The rest of the crew was very weirded out by their gross and alcohol-fueled vibing, and they gravitated away from Jake and Amy into another corner.

 Soon enough, Jake and Amy were sitting huddled up at the bar, steadily drinking enough to keep them at the “horny-drunk” level.

 “Jake, you know something? You’re super hot. I totally would sleep with you, but I’m too much of a chicken to say that,” Amy slurred, poking his chest (surprisingly firm, she might add).

 “Whaaaatttt? You’re the sexiest ever. Every time you wear that red dress it makes me suffer because I just wanna lift up the skirt and fuck you in it,” he breathed in her ear.

 The conversation had taken a significant turn from playful flirting to very serious dirty talk, and it was reflected in their proximity to each other and their heavy breathing.

 Amy moaned under breath. She took a nibble of his earlobe and whispered lightly, already grabbing her purse, “Do you wanna go back to mine?”

 Jake stood up abruptly, nodding, wobbled a little bit, and grabbed her hand. They half-ran to the door, giggling the whole way.

 —

 The next morning, Jake rolled over to find the good lump on his mattress only to find a foreign bed and a warm barrier with its arms wrapped around him.

 Confused, Jake groggily opened his eyes to find a very naked Amy Santiago sleeping peacefully next to him.

 His eyes went wide and he gasped slightly, causing Amy to stir and open her eyes. As soon as she saw him, her reaction was about the same as his.

 After a few tense seconds of just looking at each other with surprise, they simultaneously sprang apart and let out yelps.

 Amy, realizing they were both naked, tugged the sheet over her body, leaving Jake’s (very nice, she had to say) body exposed. He gasped and grabbed the sheet and pulled it over himself, leaving Amy’s (extremely sexy, he thought) body exposed. It was a slight battle of tug-of-war before they gave up and starting mad-grabbing for their clothes on the floor. Amy found her underwear pretty close to the bed, but, holding her boobs in place with her hands, she found her bra in the hallway, and her pantsuit on the couch. Jake was luckier to find all his clothes in the bedroom.

 They met in Amy’s kitchen.

 “So we... uh...” Amy trailed off. She was visibly tense in the shoulders.

 “Seems like it,” Jake laughed awkwardly a bit, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

 A pause. Then, suddenly, laughter filled the apartment. They were belly-laughing, the good kind of laugh that left you aching. Tears welled in their eyes.

 “Was I any good?” Jake choked out through laughs.

 Amy stopped laughing and said seriously, “I don’t know. You were my first.”

 Jake stilled. “Wait, Ames, really?”

 A laugh forced its way out of Amy’s throat. “No! Oh my god, who do you take me for, a 30-year-old virgin?”

 “Jesus, you scared me!” Jake laughed.

 “Okay, well, I’m glad this isn’t weird and all, but I am majorly hungover and would like to take my day off,” Amy said.

 “No, yeah, got it. I was just on my way out.”

 They shared a genuine smile as Jake walked out the door.

 Amy lay in bed later that night and texted Jake.

 To: Jake Peralta

Isn’t it... weird that we aren’t weird?

 From: Jake Peralta

not rly tbh. the way i see it is we have a funny inside joke now. also i literally remember nothing.

 To: Jake Peralta

Yeah haha. Makes sense. Definitely don’t remember anything either.

 The thing was, she did. Or, well, she had evidence. She woke up with the mat in her hair that she only got when she had sex in her favorite position, she had the good ache between her legs of being well-fucked with a big dick, and her clitoris was really sensitive, meaning multiple orgasms. She didn’t entirely like the conclusion, but Jake must be really good at sex. Gross (Or was it? her brain said). She wondered why she couldn’t stop thinking about it, until she realized that it was weird now. She had made it weird by remembering.

 Or maybe it was the way he made her laugh like nobody else, or the soft curl of his hair flipped to the side, or his strong arms holding her as she slept away the morning.

 Amy blushed and shook the thought out of her head for the millionth time that year.

 At his apartment, Jake lay awake with memories flooding back. Jake had the rare gift of retaining memories slowly when he blacked out, and he had never been happier. Besides the obvious, Jake was mind blown that Amy freaking Santiago had given him the best sex of his life. She was such a nerd, it seemed impossible! Just remembering the night’s activities sent a shudder down his spine and warmth through his core.

 But it also begged the question: was it just the sex? Or was it also the halo of light around Amy’s face when she laughed, or the way her hair shone softly, or her adorable hate face reserved only for those who had invoked a pure form of hatred from a cinnamon roll of a human (looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you).

 Jake wondered for the millionth time that year why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was his colleague for Christ’s sake, his frenemy within the precinct. They competed constantly and bickered more than an old married couple.

 Jake sighed, punched the good lump into shape, and fell asleep.

 —

 Jake and Amy’s work relationship hadn’t changed much at all, except now they seemed to have a lot more to laugh about. Every once in a while, they would be sniggers coming from their desks from a seemingly new inside joke.

 The main thing that changed, however, was the way they looked at each other. Their glances would linger while the other wasn’t looking, and there was something unidentifiable in their eyes. It was soft, and it was absolutely torturous. The rest of the squad had bets on the outcome of this newfound grossness.

 Jake’s deniable crush on Amy had spiraled into a full-blown infatuation. He thought about her constantly, texted her when he wasn’t with her, and even improved his life to please her. He cleaned every week, he sold his unnecessary stuff, and started chipping away at his debt. It was a goddamned miracle.

 Amy found herself thinking about Jake too much for it to be normal. She always suspected that she liked him as more than a friend but was always able to tamp it down and ignore it. Not anymore, she thought with a sigh. Now it was like everything he did was the cutest thing. His smiles always sent her into a soupy mess, and every time they touched by accident it was like electricity running up her spine.

 Then one day, a month after That Night, it became impossible to not think about him.

 She woke up that morning feeling nauseous for the second day in a row. She violently vomited a few times and then lay against the cool bathroom floor, the cogs turning in her brain.

 Idiot, she thought to herself.

 After nervously checking her period tracker and seeing that she was a week late, she immediately called Jake.

 “Hey, I was just about to call you to see if you could meet up for coffee before work. I wanna talk to you about something.” He sounded hopeful and groggy, like he had just woken up. But Amy was not concerned about that right now.

 “Peralta,” she whisper-yelled through the phone. “Did we not use a fucking condom?”

 She heard shuffling on the other end of the line. Then, Jake’s voice rang clear and awake. That obviously had gotten his attention.

 “Ames, what are you saying?” he said nervously.

 Amy pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly.

 “I can’t stop puking and I’m a week late,” she said softly. “Jake, I think I’m pregnant.”

 Silence.

 Then, after a beat, “Okay. Get dressed and meet me at the CVS on the corner by your apartment. Everything’s going to be okay.”

 Amy wiped away some stray tears and did as Jake instructed. She found him waiting at the entrance of the pharmacy. When they made eye contact, his eyes lightened, and a small smile crept onto his face. He held his hand out for her to take. It was corny, but Amy really appreciated it.

 They navigated through the store, finding the pregnancy tests, and Jake insisted on buying the most expensive one to put Amy’s mind at ease.

 They stepped into the bathroom together, receiving strange stares from the employees, and Jake turned to the corner while Amy peed on the fancy test (Why was she comfortable with him in there? God, she must really like him). Then she set a timer and they waited.

 Standing there in the bathroom waiting for the timer to go off, Amy turned to Jake and asked, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

 Jake raised his eyebrows. “Oh, right. That.” He sighed. “Well, I guess now’s as good a time as any.” Awkward smile. Deep breath.

 Amy waited with bated breath for what she thought (and hoped) he would say.

 “So, after That Night, I, uh, realized that I like you. And I wanna be with you. Romantic stylez. Stylez with a z.”

 Amy was shocked. She knew she felt the same way, and that she wanted that, too, but their life might be about to get really complicated.

 A part of her brain told her that it would make things simpler if there was a baby, but another part thought of Jane the Virgin and how complicated Mateo’s life became with on-off parents.

 But heart and mouth seemed to be ahead of her brain because she found herself saying, “Me, too.”

 Jake smiled so genuinely it hurt Amy’s heart. She smiled back and, before she could think, pulled Jake in for a tender kiss.

 If Jake had to describe it, he would say it felt like taking a deep breath after too long under water. Kissing Amy was like coming home and smelling your pillow after being away. Kissing Amy was like heaven.

 If Amy had to describe it, she would say it was like pulling on a soft shirt straight out of the dryer. Kissing Jake was like a fresh, warm binder and a clean apartment.

 Then the timer went off.

 Amy pulled away and made eye contact with Jake. There was panic and worry in her eyes.

 “Deep breath,” Jake said reassuringly.

 Together, they looked down.

 Not Pregnant.

 Amy could almost cry with relief. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.

 She looked up at Jake, who also looked pretty relieved. He caught her looking and tried explaining.

 “I would’ve been a good dad. Y’know, if that was the case. I would have stayed and cared, I’m not—”

 Amy cut him off. “Jake. I know. I don’t doubt it even for a second. But relief is fine. I am definitely not ready, and you probably aren’t either.”

 Jake smiled pulled her in for another kiss, only for Amy to stop him.

 He looked worried and said, “Oh, shit, did I mess something up?”

 Amy laughed. “No, you goof. It’s just that we are definitely not going going to make out in a CVS bathroom.”

 “Oh. Oh, okay good. Geez, I thought I fucked up for a second.”

 “No, Peralta. We’ll be fine.”

[blookmallow]

more Spooky Woods Adventures... this one went rly long 

this time we’ve got ginger 

huh

this looks....like a grave? but doesnt seem to do anything. hm 

i tried walking the wrong way/away from grandmother’s house but  

eventually i just ended up back at the phone again so i think you just loop back if you walk far enough out :’) 

i went back out into the woods on the right again (same as i did with rose, ruby was the other side) 

well theres the bathtub i found before, so 

more evidence to the “everything is actually in set locations it just changes based on who you are when you find it” theory and also the fact that the road loops because i went the same direction as i did with rose and ended up here 

oh wow that is........a Lot of bullets, what happened here, 

interesting, but. doesnt seem to do anything this time 

found a campground and a campfire, you can open a shed and sit by the fire but again nothing seemed to be happening 

ive been getting weird shadow images of other sisters sometimes?? i wonder if its hinting at who i need to be for something to happen here 

o H GOD 

I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT I DONT LIKE IT :’) 

thats the grandmother but im not. sure why she is manifesting on my screen suddenly

im not sure what the grandmother represents either, maybe something to do with the “wolf disguises himself as grandma” thing (grandmother herself is not always the wolf though because she was clearly there when i walked through without leaving the path and every time it acknowledged a Wolf Encounter i didnt see her in the house) 

ohhHHHH SHIT I FOUND A GRAVEYARD!!!! FUCK YEAH

we got skulls. we got headless angels. we got ominous lighting. i love it. i Love it 

well im hopelessly lost

ive passed through like four different Areas of Interest and yet have had nothing major happen yet ??? im finding a bunch of Memory Items and whatever those little flower tokens are but nothin else and this forest is REALLY hard to navigate in any kind of efficient way

like its definitely mostly designed for “wander in and see what you find” you’re probably not meant to carefully examine every inch of it and map it out logically but right now im just lost as shit :’) 

i eventually ended up back at this wall near the bathtub where i started from and realized i could interact with the wall now, when it appeared not to do anything when i was rose, but this also didn’t trigger the Bad End scene either so i think there are objects out in the woods that only particular sisters can interact with even if it’s not where their Ending is 

oh my GOD i kEEP ENDING UP BACK AT THIS GODDAMN CAMPFIRE NO MATTER WHERE I GO :’ ) 

i got stuck walking in circles for a rEALLY long time i just. no matter what i tried to do i would always either end up back at the bathtub, the campfire, or the graveyard 

theres like. wispy things that appear on the edges of the screen sometimes but i couldnt figure out if they were trying to lead me somewhere or were just Aesthetic, theres occasionally like. a ‘map’ thing that appears briefly that shows you a dotted line of where you’ve been walking and a star marking where you are but i cant figure out any way to intentionally bring that up, it just sorta appears sometimes when it feels like it and disappears quickly so i dont really have time to sort out which direction i need to go

mostly it just would be a sudden absolute tangled mess of me walking in circles and Sometimes id get a brief hint of which direction might lead to Somewhere I Haven’t Already Been To 800 Times 

i mean i got loads of memory items for whatever thats worth :’| 

they seem to carry over into the next run too i got the two-headed bear with ruby and its still here 

i eventually managed to find my way back to the Ominous Scarecrow, which i thought at the time was just another strange place in the woods you can find but doesnt really Do anything but, at a loss for anything else to do, i went over to it and this time it DID trigger an Ending 

so its possible i might have already found the Ending locations for other sisters and just dont know what they’re for yet 

also sighs i found this like. really early on with rose and yet could not find it for AGES with ginger even though i was on the same side :’ ) 

also i never saw the swamp with the boat at all with all that wandering so its possible some things might only appear to certain sisters. but then again its also possible i just never walked the right direction considering how fuCKING LONG it took me to find this 

im also not sure if you can find your way back to the path again after a while if you go out too far into the woods, it might start looping at some point like the road did bc i tried several times to get back to the path in an attempt to start myself over/get unlost and could never find it 

aAAGHh WHY 

also the mystery girl (who i found a LOT wandering through the woods all that time, she was almost always/maybe Always there whenever i found anything interesting anywhere, sometimes id find her just dancing around but she wouldnt lead me anywhere and was just sorta There) is now wearing red, which ive never seen before 

i dont remember exactly what happened here but they laid down in the grass together and then 

g  oD HONESTLY IM JUST GLAD FOR THIS TO BE OVER I HAVE BEEN LOST IN THE WOODS FOR 70 YEARS 

oh god ok

thats. not normal 

in all my wandering i apparently managed to. do whatever it is needs to happen in order to unlock the secret rooms, so i went through a lot more of the house than i have before (you dont have free movement in the house, you can only keep moving on a set path) 

ominous scarecrow is now tiny and under the bed for some reason, 

theres Strings everywhere?? also i think that’s the boot i found somewhere in the woods? 

??????????????

4535 meters is apparently about 3 miles which honestly isnt as bad as i thought :’) 

i dont know what the ranks mean, i got loads of memory items/all the special rooms/found the End and its a B so /shrugs

i dont have any idea what this story was about either. ginger’s kinda tomboyish and graffities up the wall/etc so i guess maybe her thing is Rebellious Disobedience, maybe the girl in white becoming a girl in red could be something to do with falling to peer pressure (but ginger/all the sisters are already Red, their names are all variants of red, they’re all ‘red riding hood’ figures, so the mystery girl wouldn’t be a symbol for Peer Pressure herself? maybe she’s someone who was hurt because of something ginger did?) but. i dont know. i genuinely dont know :’) 

like this game is aesthetic as fuck and its really interesting but i very much do not understand the narratives

its definitely Supposed to be surreal and open-ended so maybe im not supposed to understand, i dunno 

[thegeminisage]

zeldablogging! i actually quit playing hours ago but i didn’t have time to post it until now

firstly my bro came over and let me use all his amiibos and i got epona and some SWEET gear, but it's like, a random chance to get one of the three piece fo each one, so he has to COME BACK so can get everything

i got one of link's iconic hats haha im Sad

also i went to the wasteland tower and i can see the divine beast from there!! i think with the flying island bird thing i've now seen them all

altho if that ship thing really is the beast and i can see if from that far away...holy Fuck. they are so Big

my brother wanted me to go north to the woods at the top of the map to get the master sword, but im just not Ready yet. i wanna see more plot. he also told me that there was no special quest for it which like :/ weak?? im disappointed tbh

the interactive map shows a stable along the road so i guess i will start there!

i'm a little intimidated by the big desert tbh

god everything here is so tall and vast...i'm pretty sure bits of this are from one of the cool parts of the trailer

omg there's a talus on this hill

dont feel like fighting it now tho lol

KASS IS HERE <3

omg four dudes lost in the gerudo region...now THIS sounds familiar

ahaha :')

actually, i think i'm gonna go ahead and head to gerudo town first before exploring everywhere...which is the opposite of what i SAID i wanted to do after death mountain but this desert is big and vast and it'll be easier to keep track of what i've done, and tbh i'm afraid of running into the divine beast while i explore LMAO

plus: i wanna see plot!

i like that horses follow the roads, i can kinda see the sights and scope it out a little before Deep Exploration

wait can i not

oh god can i not ride my horse out here....?

oh jesus

ohhh my god what a long walk.......haha i've become spoiled

oh well here we go

lol i put on the link hat and got like. overwhelmed, emotionall.y too much. so much. to see him in green rn. altho lowkey disappointed he hasn't been in green for most of the game thats just His Color

omg it gets Cold in the desert at night!!

i bet in the daytime it gets hot hahaha

ooh i got a gerudo shield and scimitar from this lizalfos! nice!

WOW ANOTHER GERUDO HI HELLO IM GAY

uh

why......doesn't my map work rn

what the fuck??

i opened it and?? static??

please tell me it's the divine beast and not an area thing i can't LIVE without my map

wow the air got all green and windy here when i walked towards a shrine...dnw dnw 

see this is why i worried about exploring but it's Right There if igured it'd be no trouble

thats what i get for thinkin

omg a SAND SEAL?? they are so weird lookin haha and it scared me for a sec moving thru the gloom like that. thought it was a monster

uh

it strikes me with no minimap i can't fast travel and everything looks just the same out here...what if i get lost?

oh there's the shrine thank god

omg my map works inside the shrine ;w;

tbh i dont feel like doing it rn i'd fast travel out of this green shit if that didn't mean having to start the whole walk over

i guess i can just fast travel to the shrine itself at least now i know the direction i need to walk to get out

yep and here goes the temp climbing. jesus

luckily i prepped for this when i stop to cook i like to make a bit of everything and i knew i was coming somewhere hot, so

LMFAO out of sheer curiosity i took all my armor off and that worked too.

ohhh amn this no-map green-sand no-visibility thing is WIGGING ME OUT dude i pray it's a divine beast thing bc i can't explore like this AND i couldn't really see the whole beast bc of the sand. so. fingers crossed

please let me find the road please let me find the road please let me find the road

put all my armor back on bc i spotted an enemy and thats super weird even without special food the sun isn't killing me anymore...maybe it's a noontimeish thing? but no, it was sunrise before and 10am now.......mysterious. i don't like it. i do not like the desert. i Do Not like the desert.

I JUST HEARD THE BEAST ROAR

oh my god and there it is...what even IS that jesus christ

it's so big im scared and crying

and the lightning!!! it's so powerful!!!!

like, my brother said the dungeons were too easy but the FEEL of these things...they truly are fucking divine

oh thank fuck i see fire. help me please

MY MAP'S BACK YES

thank GOD

and i'm at gerudo town i think!! somehow

but i missed the oasis and i know there was a memory there painter dude told me ):

wait, no...this IS the oasis! yes!!!!!! i made it to the road in the perfect spot!!!!!!

wait they;re saying here "voe" aren't allowed in gerdo town...oh my god are they being serious rn

I HATE THE DESERT LMAO

but frankly i can't blame them. tbh if i had a society of all females i wouldn't let any men in either.

there's. so many pretty women in here. they're so tall. i'm so gay

omg there's a rito and a goron here!

oooh the highlands tower sandstorm apparently dies down for a few hours every day!! good to know x_x

god if it IS a regional thing im totally fucked.

oop the temp kicked up again once i left the oasis

WAIT i almost forgot the memory jesus christ!

ok ok

WHOAAA HOLY FCK

zelda was running from the yiga clan and link stepped in and saved her at the last second AND THE MAIN THEME PLAYED A LITTLE

altho i kinda hate this helpless damsel zelda stuff...i guess it's mostly par for the course, tho - very few games have had her able to fight and even the ones that did got her captured at the very end

there's a rock outcropping here and i can SEE the sandstorms, jesus

i hope they're less frequent after i free the beast

maybe the one near the shrine/tower broke up for a sec and that's why the temp kicked up? everyone says it does once a day...but my map didn't change lol so idk

lol got to tell a gerudo she was my dream girl

haha so they travel and leave to find husbands and have kids? she mentioned "training"... great potential for trans characters here but alas that's WAY beyond nintendo rn

i like that they speak another language, it makes the world feel bigger and more real (and they even teach you some!!)

omg you can RIDE the sand seals?!

i...need a shield...to sand seal SURF

that sounds. like the coolest thing ive ever heard in my whole life

apparently there's a guy who slips in every night that i could follow!! i wish i could just sneak in myself, tho

all right nothing doing so i loked it up and APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TO CROSSDRESS LOL i love it

like i've seen that outfit in guides and i thought it looked a bit nonfunctional

altho i hope this plotline doesn't make crossdressers the butt of a joke!!

aw you can tell the person on the rock "you're a man" but im gonna pretend she's trans and not be a jerk

AAAH I LOOK PRETTY

ok, i absolutely gotta dye these pink

AWWW LINK LOOKS BASHFUL WHEN TOLD HE IS A GOOD-LOOKIN GAL

MY SWEET SON

yes i am fast traveling this instant to dye these

i know this game is probably being gross about this but frankly i love the idea of agender link

and these are my favorite clothes i wanna wear them and ride my pink horse all the time

aaah and now i am pink!! tbh i'd love to sneak in now but i have a stream to get ready for ))):

maybe i will just look around really quick i still have a few minutes

im usually a little late starting anyways lol

ooh the music in the day here is rly cool!

OMG A LIL BABY GERUDO GIRL SHE'S SO CUTE im crying

LOL THERE'S A GORON HERE

why did they let him in! i thought there were no girl gorons

lmao even he doesn't know......omg

omg an OLD gerudo too finally!!!

gaaaah i wanna look around more but my time is up for tonight!!