#// admins and editors HATE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[m0e-ru]

bruh theres dummied out data for a social link with izanami as the gsa (gasoline stand dummy)

(was the one who edited the wiki page) anon dearest

anyway i dont have the files on board with me right now but there's really nothing much to the SL files honestly, really just dummy data. no dialogue no shit no life no nothing just a pure placeholder. There's a placeholder portrait (THAT DOESNT EVEN GET USED) and event files with dummy text but thats pretty much it. It does load to an event where it shows the gas station at a different angle and has some text like "gas station employee sl rank X dummy" and that is IT. In the end, they just used the same event IDs for Margaret's social link instead. Not that it means the attendant was supposed to be the empress arcana because they write those things at least a million years before any sort of implementation

[yoongihan]

Girl Code - HHJ - OneShot

pairing: art professor hyunjin x admin femreader

genre: office au, university au, coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff,

romantic trope: enemies to lovers (I DID MY BEST OKAY?)

word count: ~4k

rating: T (for at least one objectifying comment)

warnings: hyunjin in glasses, with paint streaks on his clothes and person; mc is kinda rude to him; someone is actually a horrible person in this; characters drink but everyone is of age; hyunjin is older (about 28), mc is 24; probably some cursing because it's me and cursing is my native language;

a/n: story #5 in the skz as romantic tropes collab with @jl-micasea-fics. this is a little bit of her fault too as when the magic school photos dropped she mentioned hyunjin as an art professor. i chose this trope (e2l) to challenge myself as it's not my regular jam annnnnnd i don't know if i really did it all that well. i did try. please be kind to this chronic f2l writer. i apologize for any typos or mistakes. i am my own editor.

-----

Pretty Privilege.

It’s not a thing you personally have experienced, to your knowledge. Maybe you have. Maybe once amongst your friend group, you were considered the stand out and someone gave you a pass because they liked the way your eyes are shaped, or how you smile with teeth, or whatever.

You’ll allow that.

But generally, you hate that it even exists. Pretty privilege. Isn’t it enough to get to be pretty in this world? Without the world groveling at your feet and simultaneously pushing any obstacle out of the way for you? 

So when Professor Hwang is hired as the new art professor at the university where you admin, you take an immediate dislike. After, at first, the overwhelming surge of attraction because he truly is the prettiest human you’ve ever seen outside of screen. 

Even when your work friends discuss romance, and when Juhye from the Performative Arts department (she has basically the same job as you, just different department) mentions that she thinks he might be interested in her, you join in that yes, he’s very attractive and seems nice, and of course he’d be a great partner for her.

Even if you kind of hate him. 

And since you admin in the same department as he teaches (Fine Arts, obv), it’s your job (according to your friends and the unspoken rules that you really wish were spoken and written down) that you hype her up when he’s in the vicinity. You have to.

Girl Code: requiring you to promote her, and not be too friendly with him because one does not want to violate Girl Code.

Once in undergrad was enough and you would do anything not to experience that ostracization ever again. 

Unspoken rules that make life more difficult that it already is. You feel very much like you hyping Juhye is as subtle as a truck, and in doing so you are as awkward as well, whatever is very very awkward.

“You locked yourself out again?” You do your best not to hiss at him, but in over one semester of him being on the faculty, the man has locked himself out of his Canvas account at least a dozen times.

Hyunjin, Professor Hwang, as he is to his students, gives you the most sheepish smile, and deep down you acknowledge that it’s cute as hell. This man who could be art himself, looking self-conscious that he can’t be trusted with the basics of technology. 

“I know. I don’t know how I do this.” He shrugs, straightening his wire-rimmed glasses. “Isn’t my laptop supposed to save that info for me, so I never have to try and remember?”

“It is.” You think to offer that he can bring his laptop and you can look to see if Google, or whatever browser he uses (probably like Firefox or something equally horrendous), is saving his passwords, but you don’t. Because it’s not in your job description and: “Juhye’s pretty good at that kind of stuff. I’m sure she could make sure it’s doing that. Saving your passwords, login info.”

He hums in lieu of a response, moving from in front of your desk to behind you to see what you’re doing. He doesn’t ask, which makes you bristle, but you’re not doing anything confidential and he’s not really breaking your personal bubble, so you can’t say anything. 

“I’ve never asked,” he begins as though talking to you while you’re working isn’t annoying. “But I assume, this isn’t what you went to school for. Did you study tech…stuff?”

You’re mildly amused that he doesn’t use the official term ‘computer science’. But just mildly. You can still dislike someone and still find them amusing on occasion. 

“No.”

There’s silence, minus the sounds of your typing and mouse-clicking. 

“What did you study?”

You don’t like lying. It’s not a thing you prefer to do in life. You do, everyone does, but you try avoid it as much as possible. So even though you know this might interest Hyunjin and you know you should not interest him, ever, you tell the truth.

“Photography. I mean, I studied business, too, but mostly photography and mixed media art.”

There’s silence yet again.

“Which is why I’m here. In this department.” The silence has become unbearable. 

“Photography?”

He’s going to ask to see something.

“You good at it?”

You turn to look at him. He seems genuinely curious, not like he’s about to pass judgment. But, he’s hard to read. That perfect face can look very RBF according to Juhye (which she thinks just makes him all the more mysterious and sexy) and even blank which gives you less on which to assess him for. 

His hair pulled back in a ponytail and black textured turtleneck make him seem even more aloof, like the rich pretty boy in an anime. 

“My grades and graduating GPA said I was.” You put very little stock into quantifying art and creativity into numbered grades, but you did graduate well enough to please your parents. 

He rolls his eyes. “Oh okay then.” 

God, he’s annoying. 

“Anyway.” You turn back to your computer. “Everything is reset. Your email has the links to come up with a new password. Try to write it down somewhere, or you know, memorize it.”

“No space,” he replies. “No space for memorizing meaningless words and numbers and symbols.”

“Really? What’s your brain full of then? Creative genius?” You don’t even hide your sarcasm.

He laughs. “I hope so. Mostly just images of all the greats I studied. And then my students and what they do. It’s a photo album that never ends and changes order. Often.”

He’s slipping by you toward the door that leads out of the Fine Arts offices. You stare at him, his words lingering. 

“Thanks again,” he says, halfway through the door. He smiles at you, a small one, a polite ‘this is how we socially interact’ type smile.

It’s still so stupid beautiful. You hate it.

–

At the next day’s lunch, you dutifully let Juhye know about how you encouraged Hyunjin to bring his laptop and technology woes to her and she brightens and preens, and you almost feel like maybe you don’t hate him. 

It’s a small consolation. 

One of the benefits (there are just a few) of working at the school that you attended, in the department you majored in, is use of the facilities. Not whenever you want as the current students and professors get first claim on any studio, extra supplies, or the dark room. 

In two years of working post-undergrad, you’ve learned when the down times, the lesser claimed times were. Certainly not before midterms or finals. Nor right when the semester begins because all the overachievers feel like studio or dark room time will somehow make all the difference. 

But right now, in the in between times, you can book some dark room sessions which encourages you that someday you might ‘make’ it as a professional photographer, that you aren’t losing your skills. 

You’d taken a day to drive up to the nearest mountains to one; soothe your soul with nature (and pollen sadly) and two: take a new set of photos. As with everyone else in the 21st century, you use and manipulate digital photographs as well, but you also do film because it’s its own thing. 

As you turn on the red light bulbs in the darkroom, negatives now fully developed, you smile because film and the process of getting from undeveloped roll of film to tangible photo makes you happy. It’s a comforting process that you can almost do in your sleep. With how late it was when you went to bed last night is a good thing because two cups of coffee is not doing its usual thing. 

There’s a knock on the door of the dark room and your smile immediately drops. 

Damn students (it’s a fruitless grievance because it is their right as they are paying a ridiculous amount for this education, but ugh, it’s annoying to be on the bottom rung of the hierarchy).

“Occupied.”

“I left something in there that I need.”

It’s like every muscle of your body tenses, and every nerve sets alight. 

“Professor Hwang?” Like you need to confirm. 

There’s a pause, like he’s registering your voice before he says your name. 

“Yes, I’ve got the safe lights on, but if you make sure everything is off out there, I can open the door.” Sooner he comes in, the sooner he can leave. 

There’s a low chuckle. “I know the drill.”

You bristle at the patronizing tone.

“Everything is off.”

You open the door and mentally curse him. Even with the lights which you’d considered an unflattering shade of red, he still looks like art. 

Art like a rendition of a fallen angel or romantic vampire with the shadows on his face and red tinge his neck-length brown hair takes on. His glasses are horn-rimmed today, his white shirt pink in the light and sleeves rolled up, black slacks. There are at least three paint smudges on his forearms.

He nods and gives you a polite smile. It’s the most reserved he’s ever been with you, at least since first meeting. You would never describe him as outgoing by any means, but certainly friendly, amiable. He doesn’t hold any of the underlying snobbery of other art professors who have lived so long in the ivory towers of academia and the art world, that any one not well-versed is unworthy of such allowances as kindness or care. 

For all his faults, Hyunjin is not the worst. 

You step back, aware that you are essentially, just staring at him like a moron. He slips in, glances at the negatives out that you’ve just developed.

“Pleased?” he asks as he moves toward the shelves of chemicals and random items (things left and abandoned by years of students and professors - your favorite is a tiny figurine of the black cat from Kiki’s Delivery Service. No one has taken it back, as though left here on purpose by someone in the past six years. He’s the official mascot of this particular dark room and therefore your favorite). 

“Pleased?” you repeat.

“With your work?” He grabs some acrylic paint tubes off the shelf. “What you just developed?”

Now you feel stupid. Obviously that’s what he’s asking about. Not if you’re pleased to see him. That would be stupid. You aren’t. Surely even he can see that.

“Um, not sure.” You return to the film and its small images. You set one image over the projected enlarger so it’s visible to the both of you. It’s not much, a solitary tree, slightly off center in the frame. “Haven’t had a chance to see if it was a total waste of roll or not.”

Even though you don’t look to see him move, you feel him stand slightly behind you to also take in the image. 

You hold your breath for a number of reasons. 

One; because you don’t need to breathe in his cologne which is actually really lovely (so you hate it).

Two; because his nearness is off-putting as he’s not really breaking any social rules by being too close and darkrooms aren’t exactly spacious, but dammit he’s close. 

Three; because you actually want to know what he thinks.

That last one pisses you off the most. You and he don’t dabble in the same medium (he’s painting and drawing; you always stuck with photography, sometimes mixed media) so who is to say his thoughts are at all valuable.

Not that he isn’t skilled. Every professor in the Visual Arts department is, even the ones you dislike the most.

Like him. 

“It’s lonely.”

You flinch at his words, his voice seeming loud in the quiet of the room. 

“Being asymmetrically composed, the tree feels even more out of place and lost.”

You force yourself to continue staring at the project and not turn to see his expression. Because you might show your thoughts and those don’t need to be discoverable by Professor Hwang Hyunjin.

“I like it. Even if it’s a bit out of focus.”

You lean into the projection to see that he is correct. There is a slight blur to the edges, fuck it all. 

You straighten back up. “Intentional.” Not that you moving in and checking it wasn’t a damn giveaway that you are lying like a lying liar, but maybe he’s stupid.

“Ah.”

Maybe a little. Or he lies too. 

“Are you entering any contests or doing a showing?”

Does he truly want to have a normal conversation right now? In the dark room? Alone? When you are working on your own stuff?

You take a few steps away, turning off the projector. 

“I don’t have anything specific in mind. Just keeping a hand in, you know?”

He nods, the shadows lengthening then shortening on his face. “Not that this subject matter is relevant, but you know our theatre department is looking for a photographer? Dr. Kim mentioned it just yesterday.”

“They are?”

“You can do action and work with that type of lighting?”

You work hard not to sneer. “Yes. The photography program here is pretty thorough.”

He shrugs. “I would hope so, though I must admit I know little of Dr. Cha’s work with students. And only the bare essentials of the craft.” He’s smiling, looking far less like a work of untouchable art and more like someone who regularly laughs; at himself and at the absurdity of the world. 

The dried paint on his cheek is wrinkled and breaking with that smile. 

You mentally shake yourself. 

When you don’t say anything, making the silence veer on awkward, he clears his throat. 

“You should apply. I think you’d do well.” He laughs now. It’s silly. “Not that I have much understanding the ins and outs of course, my recommendation is probably worth little.”

“You’d say something?”

“To Kim? Sure.” 

“With one photo?”

He now looks amused. “I’ve seen your instagram, too. Dr. Cha often shares his former and current students’ work and I follow her.” He starts to the door. “I’ll say something.” He holds up the paint tubes. “Thanks for letting me in.”

He opens the door before looking back. “Have a good night.” And disappears through it. 

The room feels strange now. The red hue seems not as striking, and the air carries that hint of piquancy of his cologne.

You do a physical shake of yourself now before returning to make some prints. 

–

When you see Juhye out for drinks with the rest of your compatriots Friday night, you ask her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the theatre photographer position?” She works in the Performative Arts department, even updates the website. Of all people, she would be one of the first to know. 

She’s had about two more cocktails than you which means her eyes take several moments to focus on you. You lean against the bar next to her, waiting. 

“Why would I?”

You bite your tongue to retort. “Because I’m a photographer.” 

She wrinkles her nose, saying your name in the most patronizing tone you’ve heard since high school. “They want professionals.”

You jerk back as though she swung a dagger at you. 

But you try again. Because friends. And Girl Code. “I applied though. Would you say something to Dr. Kim please?”

She takes a deep breath that you can hear despite the loud house music pumping in this bar. “Honey,” The sickly sweetness of the condescension makes you want to gag. “We’re friends and all, but I am not risking my name just because you think you can do something like this. Real friends tell each other the truth.”

As she finishes this quasi-sermon, the bartender produces another drink for her, and a receipt to sign. She does, scrawling also her snapchat username. He takes the slip, makes eye contact with her and smirks before moving to another patron. 

“What was that?” you ask, still processing her apparent disregard for your dreams and talent. “I thought you were ‘in love’ with Professor Hwang?” You are petty enough to do finger quotation marks. 

She rolls her eyes and shrugs, already looking past you for the rest of your group. “I am. But wanting a luxury car doesn’t mean that one can’t ride in a station wagon.”

If you’d had more liquor, maybe you could have thrown up on her as you currently feel ill, both disgusted and horrified. 

To equate humans to cars reeks of objectification and lack of seeing someone as a whole person. 

And you might hate Hwang Hyunjin, but you know he’s more than just a beautiful (on the surface) man. 

Juhye slips by you to find the others as you realize how incredibly shit of a friend she is. Of a person. In fact, you turn to stare at her back in astonishment because you thought you were good at reading people, at sifting through the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. Juhye has never been someone you were incredibly close to, but you thought she was decent, even if her taste in men was lacking.

“I didn’t know you came here.”

As though your life is a full-on drama, you turn back to see that in her place is Hyunjin. He’s got a martini glass in hand, the liquid a vibrant green. 

“Rarely,” you answer tonelessly, your brain still trying to understand the revelations of the last five minutes. You nod to his drink. “What’s that?”

He grins, alcohol having warmed his smile. “Appletini.”

A surprised laugh exits your mouth before you realize it. You assumed he’d probably drink something like fancy single malt scotch or absinthe (the green). Here he is, this impressive and young art professor, one who has had an extolled art showing in the last year (you might have researched him some when you realized how much you hated him), drinking the equivalent of Apple Jacks in a martini glass. 

His smile is a little cute.

He isn’t wearing glasses right now, which is a shame, but his t-shirt and jeans give him less of that art prof vibe, and more of the cute guy you meet at a bar. 

“Good?” you ask, finding yourself bewildered and amused.

He nods emphatically, offering it to you as though you’re friends who share.

You shake your head, even though you sort of want to. 

“Thank you. I should go.” It might be the lighting, but he looks way too cozy with his hair tucked behind his ears, the wind from outside making it tousled. 

You look around to see Juhye and several of your friends over at a booth. They are watching with piercing eyes. 

Juhye whispers to another.

You feel it. The momentary terror of doing something wrong, the violation of the code in talking to your friend’s crush.

“Before you do.” He sets down his drink, inching a bit closer to you. “I talked to Dr. Kim. About the job? I can’t say for sure, but I think he was definitely looking forward to talking with you about it. I showed him your series with the cyclists by the Han River, from your insta. One of my favorites of yours.” 

You feel your eyes itch all of a sudden, a sudden tightness in your throat. You force back the tears that threaten. 

“I…thank you.”

His smile gets even bigger, his eyes nearly squeezed shut in his joy. 

You need to go. Like now. 

“Of course. What are friends for? Or at least, coworkers.” He giggles. 

Friends. The spike of anxiety lessens. Because you know what real friendship is. And it’s not in whispers and unspoken rules and carelessness. 

It’s thoughtfulness, it’s giving without asking for anything back. 

“If you get the job, I expect you to buy me a drink.” His playful words make you tense all the more, because you see it. You see how kind he is.

He sees you.

“I’m kidding,” he says almost as quickly. “I just–”

“I know.” You meet his eyes and smile though you imagine it’s more teary than warm right now. “I’ll definitely buy you another appletini if I get it.”

There’s no RBF right now. Only sparkling eyes, turned up lips, and kindness. 

And you need to go.

“Sure. Um, bye.” You race out of there like being chased by a supervillain. 

–

It’s the end of the school year, and even though you still work during the summer (a lowly admin’s job is never done), you feel the excitement.

Because you’re changing departments. After photographing and doing promotional shots of the university’s spring musical, Dr. Kim wants you on staff full-time, to capture all of the Performative Arts department; the classes, the productions, even the silly open mics that the students and professors do every month. The website, the newsletter, the alumni magazine; all have a credit of yours by the time May ends. 

You feel like maybe you haven’t been treading aimlessly post-university as much as you thought. 

“So,” Hyunjin says, before taking a sip of his luminescent green cocktail. He leans on his elbows across from you. “We aren’t in the same department any more.” There’s a pout at the end, a small, silly thing that makes you roll your eyes, but deep down, you think it’s (he) is adorable. 

“I know. You’ll have to bug someone new when you forget your password. Again.”

His pout doesn’t leave. “They might be nicer to me.”

In the months that followed that night at the bar, you decided to apologize to him. It was in his office, when he was sorting through papers and you were nearly on your way home for the day. You had succeeded in avoiding Juhye and him for three days when you got the email from Dr. Kim for a quick interview. 

So you stopped by to thank him, then apologize for being rude.

“You hated me? Huh. I thought you were just kind of grumpy. It’s cute.”

To say you were simultaneously both flattered and outraged (he’d not even been offended, once?) would be understatement. 

He likes to tease you about it now.

“But to go back to my original thought,” he continues, reaching out to steal a fry from your plate. “No longer in the same department. We’ll have to try and see each other instead of just happening to run into each other.” He raises one eyebrow at you.

“Yeah. Ugh, are you a clingy friend?”

“Not really.” He pauses, taking another drink before setting it back down. “I am…a little bit of a clingy boyfriend.” 

You’re holding your breath again. 

You can acknowledge that you and Hyunjin aren’t just coworkers, he’s not your enemy (if he ever was) anymore. You’re definitely more friends with him than anyone else from work (you’ve pulled away from Juhye and her little group and honestly, you don’t miss them). 

Being friends, being friendly and open with Hyunjin has its own drawbacks because now you have to contend with how lovely a person he is; how talented, funny, goofy, and compassionate. Which makes it difficult. When you hated him, he was easy to keep at a distance.

Now that you like him, you might really like him.

“Uh, we aren’t dating.”

“What do you call this?” he asks, nonplussed that he’s brought up your entire relationship as a topic of conversation, as though you’re discussing the weather, or the latest student’s project. He points at your mostly empty plates, his martini glass, your half-full gin and tonic. Then he points at you and then himself.

“I’m paying though.” Spring in academia is a sprint to the finish and though he’d been joking about you owing him a drink if you got the job, you are currently owning up to it now that the semester is over. 

“So? Is it only a date if I pay?” He tsks at you. “I thought you were a feminist.”

Your glare doesn’t have the same bite as it used to. It’s too fond. 

“This is a date?”

He leans across the table, adjusting his glasses as though it’ll help him see you better. Even with familiarity, you still feel a bit overwhelmed by him. 

“I want it to be.”

There is no policy about coworkers dating at your university, just that professionality reigns at the school. There is no reason why you and Hyunjin cannot date. Even though you often feel like professors are on another level compared to the administration. 

He’s not even that much older than you. 

Perhaps it’s remnants of being so worried that you might break ‘Girl Code’ if you’re at all nice to him because of Juhye’s ‘claim’ that you are hesitant. Maybe you need to acknowledge that he is so much more than what you or Juhye reduced him to in the beginning.

Maybe you realize that you have been ‘dating’ him awhile without even comprehending it.

Maybe you also lean across the table, letting your lips brush against his stunning ones (if you painted like him, those lips would probably show up in a piece) and hear his soft exhale as though he relaxes. Because he realizes it too.

You like each other. A lot. 

His soft kiss in return gives you actual heart flutters.

“I guess I don’t mind a clingy boyfriend. Especially one who is still marked with paint on a date.” You point to the streak of white at his jaw. 

He takes your hand in his, gaze dropping to look at his drink, but his smile can’t be hidden.

“Good.”

---

(c) yoongihan 2024. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

[centrally-unplanned]

Very much enjoyed Tracing Woodgrain's foray into the internet life of jilted ex-rationalist and Wikipedia editor David Gerard. It is of course "on brand" for me - the social history of the internet, as a place of communities and individual lives lived, is one of my own passion projects, and this slots neatly into that domain in more ways than one. At the object-level it is of course about one such specific community & person; but more broadly it is an entry into the "death of the internet-as-alternate-reality" genre; the 1990's & 2000's internet as a place separate from and perhaps superior to the analog world, that died away in the face of the internet's normalization and the cruel hand of the real.

Here that broad story is made specific; early Wikipedia very much was "better than the real", the ethos of the early rationalist community did seem to a lot of people like "Yeah, this is a new way of thinking! We are gonna become better people this way!" - and it wasn't total bullshit, logical fallacies are real enough. And the decline is equally specific: the Rationalist project was never going to Escape Politics because it was composed of human beings, Wikipedia was low-hanging fruit that became a job of grubby maintenance, the suicide of hackivist Aaron Swartz was a wake-up call that the internet was not, in any way, exempt from the reach of the powers-that-be. TW's allusion to Gamergate was particularly amusing for me, as while it wasn't prominent in Gerard's life it was truly the death knell for the illusion of the internet as a unified culture.

But anyway, the meat of the essay is also just extremely amusing; someone spending over a decade on a hate crusade using rules-lawyering spoiling tactics for the most petty stakes (unflattering wikipedia articles & other press). The internet is built by weirdos, and that is going to be a mixed bag! It is beautiful to see someone's soul laid bare like this.

It can be tempting to get involved in the object-level topics - how important was Lesswrong in the growth of Neoreaction, one of the topics of Gerard's fixations? It was certainly, obviously not born there, never had any numbers on the site, and soon left it to grow elsewhere. But on the flip side, for a few crucial years Lesswrong was one of the biggest sites that hosted any level of discussion around it, and exposed other people to it as a concept. This is common for user-generated content platforms; they aggregate people who find commonalities and then splinter off. Lesswrong's vaunted "politics is the mindkiller" masked a strong aversion to a lot of what would become left social justice, and it was a place for those people to meet. I don't think neoreaction deserves any mention on Lesswrong's wikipedia page, beyond maybe a footnote. But Lesswrong deserves a place on Neoreaction's wikipedia page. There are very interesting arguments to explore here.

You must, however, ignore that temptation, because Gerard explored fucking none of that. No curiosity, no context, just endless appeals to "Reliable Source!" and other wikipedia rules to freeze the wikipedia entries into maximally unflattering shapes. Any individual edit is perhaps defensible; in their totality they are damning. My "favourite" is that on the Slate Star Codex wikipedia page, he inserted and fought a half-dozen times to include a link to an academic publication Scott Alexander wrote, that no one ever read and was never discussed on SSC beyond a passing mention, solely because it had his real name on it. He was just doxxing him because he knew it would piss Scott off, and anyone pointing that out was told "Springer Press is RS, read the rules please :)". It is levels of petty I can't imagine motivating me for a decade, it is honestly impressive!

He was eventually banned from editing the page as some other just-as-senior wikipedia editor finally noticed and realized, no, the guy who openly calls Scott a neo-nazi is not an "unbiased source" for editing this page wtf is wrong with you all. I think you could come away from this article thinking Wikipedia is ~broken~ or w/e, but you shouldn't - how hard Gerard had to work to do something as small as he did is a testament to the strength of the platform. No one thinks it is perfect of course, but nothing ever will be - and in particular getting motivated contributors now that the sex appeal has faded is a very hard problem. The best solution sometimes is just noticing the abusers over time.

Though wikipedia should loosen up its sourcing standards a bit. I get why it is the way it is, but still, come on.

[discord-lurking]

Dungeons and Daddies Wiki Drama: A Greek Tragedy Told through the Medium of Forum Posts (Part 1)

Prologue

Greek tragedies are typically formatted in three or more acts interspersed with choral interludes, beginning with a prologue, and ending with an exodus. In these, protagonists often meet their downfall due to their fatal flaw, or hamartia: the ways in which the protagonists are their own undoing. Our own human failings are the things that bring us the most pain.

When considering a three-act Greek tragedy structure for this, my first thought was to use the Oresteia as a framing device, a trilogy of plays written by Aeschylus about Agamemnon's family in the aftermath of the Trojan War. Upon reflection, though, the themes of the Oresteia (revenge vs. justice, perpetuating a cycle of violence, honor and punishment) didn't quite fit the story I was trying to tell.

No, this is a classic tale of hubris: excessive pride and its ultimate downfall.

After all, what position could come with more power than that of wiki moderator for a Dungeons and Dragons podcast series?

Act One: The Beginning of the End

The D&Dads wiki has historically been... unhelpful, at best. (Source: Myself.) Trouble had been brewing for a long time.

Forum posts from spring 2022 began noting issues cropping up around the wiki. First, it was a complaint about anonymous users "disrupting" the wiki (specifically on Jodie-related pages) while also fixing mistakes in articles.

I'm unsure what specific "disruptions" were meant, but the proposal to ban anonymous users didn't garner much traction.

March 21st, 2022:

After little activity for months (only one forum post, related to infoboxes), wiki user TwoRatner had a radical proposition: wiki migration.

December 17th, 2022:

TwoRatner suggested an alternate platform that would have different editing options, then made a potentially-prophetic statement: the wiki might be cursed.

This warning went unheeded.

December 27th, 2022:

Ten days after the migration suggestion, TwoRatner came back to ask if there were any recent changes. This went unanswered for months until new user Penguinwithafancytophat reported adding art to character pages (including Glenn, a main season 1 character since the start of the podcast in 2019, who incredibly might not have had any official art on his wiki page before March of 2023).

Spring of 2023 seemed to bring along a revival of the wiki, with new editors coming in, engaging with the forum, and attempting to make suggestions on how to improve wiki organization.

March 31st, 2023:

May 27th, 2023:

July 17th, 2023:

October 2nd, 2023:

Interestingly, the only administrator seen to be interacting with these enthusiastic new editors? Gaycowboyrats. Let's put a pin in that.

Enter: the drama.

It started out simple enough- a forum posts for administrators to discuss changes that needed to be made.

November 3rd, 2023:

76 replies.

Seventy. Six. Replies. Each deeply interesting in its own way.

However, this is a Tumblr post, not an Hbomberguy video essay, so I'll keep it brief.

The discussion started out as one might expect a wiki admin discussion to start:

Mods discussed blocks, deleting stub pages, spam, etc. Standard wiki business.

The first reply to ping my interest:

Removing cast pages from a wiki about their work seemed like an odd decision, in my non-wiki-editor opinion, but the last line is what really stuck out: "Besides, I hate the idea of someone vandalizing the pages to defame them."

Several questions arose for me:

Was this a known problem? Were people constantly vandalizing cast pages?

Would a vandalized fandom wiki page really defame somebody?

Isn't the point of wiki editing to remove vandalization on articles?

The administrators began to stand out to me as deeply invested in a very specific sense of wiki justice.

Users TwoRatner, Brazil86, and TheOneTrueGod41 agreed with Honic's take.

Another thing to ping my interest: these users seemed to share a similar odd, slightly stilted, writing style. Almost Tommy Wiseau-esque.

Brazil86 expressed optimism about users engaging with wiki pages, something that would begin to set them apart from other administrators.

As I read, themes began to emerge: wiki justice, and incongruous one-liners.

Quoth Honic Washington: "I just found a wave of nonsense fish. My backyard is full of them. Hey, TOTG41, do you like jazz? I like jazz."

Truly, modern poetry.

Administrator Marth8204 suggested giving people more time. More time for what? Unclear. It seems a plan was afoot.

TwoRatner came in with a hot take: "I feel like we need a community more right now, than adding links that people can search for in the search bar."

Brazil86 agreed: Changing the navigation was less important than getting people editing and making friends.

Another theme began to emerge: wiki community as more important than wiki functionality.

Gaycowboyrats had some (incredibly reasonable) objections to this, pointing out that the wiki was a resource for many visitors who might not participate- something that is generally true of wikis as a form of content.

Honic Washington responded to this, the signs of wiki-related stress beginning to show.

Honic posts a long rant about the thankless task of moderating a wiki, which goes largely unacknowledged.

Notable TwoRatner quotes:

"You can't crack open a few omelets without punching a few egg-rolls."

"Now Freddie will get more money. What do you all say? I think I helped quite a bit."

Another theme emerges: discontent in the wiki moderator ranks.

Honic reaches full Joker mode. Again, this goes largely unacknowledged.

Honic: "I am leader. I am a painter! Keep your rules. Keep your status. Keep your friends."

"Keep your status"- words that will reverberate throughout the rest of this tale.

The final theme? Wiki moderator status, and the maintenance of it.

After Honic's bomb drop, conversation about regular wiki moderation continued, with mods considering the addition of a bot to make edits.

Admin Discussion Zone, first started by Honic Washington, ends not with a bang but with a whimper.

Over nearly a year of forum posts, patterns emerged.

Firstly- users attempting to engage in the wiki, wiki administrators not engaging with these new users, then wiki administrators bemoaning the lack of user engagement.

The notable exception was Gaycowboyrats, the only wiki administrator to engage with new users in the forums. Gaycowboyrats, the administrator whose (incredibly reasonable) suggestions ended with Honic Washington's villain-esque monologues and denouement as a moderator.

Secondly- administrators putting forth large-scale, drastic solutions to real or perceived wiki problems. This includes Cheesoid4 wanting to ban anonymous users, TwoRatner suggesting site migration, Honic deleting cast pages to prevent vandalism, and more to come.

Thirdly- wiki administrators seeming to share similar styles of speech and occasional non-sequiturs. Interestingly, this mainly seems to include the wiki administrators who agree with each other.

Funny how that happens.

Chorus

Stay tuned for Part 2, where the forum drama really starts to heat up.

[askchilchuck]

May it be alright to ask if we can learn a bit about you, our lovely admin 😊

Btw you're doing awesome! Keep up the great work ♡

Huh? What do you mean admi- Chilchuck is yanked out of frame.

OOC:

HI you’re incredibly sweet!

I’m not super good with this kind of stuff so I’ll go over the basics.

My name is Sophie. I’m 26. I live in the Pacific NW in the US (hence why my schedule sticks to PST usually). And I work an office job, which is why I get a lot of free time during work days lol.

HUGE Dunmeshi (and especially Chilchuck) fan, but I also really like MHA (Keigo/Hawks my beloved 💖) even if the ending made me really sad. (Hori should’ve taken a hiatus IMO. I fully believe he would’ve been up to following through with the plot lines he set up if he wasn’t pressured to keep his pace.)

I was also violently reminded of my massive Peter/Quicksilver (x-men movies) crush when he showed up for .2 seconds at the end of DP3, so I’ve been wanting to watch those again with my mom some time.

I’ve been on Tumblr since I was in high school. I came over from DA where I used to post my fics before my mom found out and got me into AO3 (fandom runs in the family lol. She’s also a professional author/editor and was like “no kid of MINE is gonna post to fucking da” lol.)

Not sure what else to say so I’ll give you a fun fact: I hate coffee AND tea! If I need caffein I’ll drink a Ghost energy drink (preferably the red Sour Patch Kids one) and if I want a hot drink I’ll go for hot cocoa. Also for soda I’m on team Dr. Pepper and will die on this hill lol.

That’s all I can think of, but if any of you have any questions I’m more than happy to answer! I’ll check up on the comments on this post throughout today if you’d like.

Thank you for being awesome, it makes doing this a lot of fun. 💖

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. we're gonna get sky-high & create a new world .𖹭 ݁

﹙ meet the admins. ﹚ ─── get to know us 𖹭 ” 

  . . . eden rose !! 🍰 :

writer and aspiring artist, editor who pulls her hair out over aesthetics a bit too much. they call me the aesthetic demon and angst monster 🩷 

the pink enthusiast on this blog <3

indian ( a strange mix of north and south bc of families mixing )

I’m a native english speaker who can speak some hindi and tamil, brushing up on my telegu. I'm a bg language learner! learning variations of spanish, italian ( hopefully ) but primarily chinese and arabic ( CRIES )

pansexual aromantic and female

lovvvesss SWEETS, a bit of a cookiemonster 

former fencer and pianist, music composer and dramatic arts student ( STEM MAJOR AND HATED IT IIIII BELONG TO THE LITERATURE )

aspiring to be an english literature or creative writing professor 

I’m a pink fairy<3 ( or so howl says )

really don’t like moths, or the dark or the ocean -

adore flowers! roses especially

love cooking but never ever let me because there’s always a disaster 

snakes are my babies along with fishies 

copper’s defence attorney + talisen’s 781’s wifey<3 ( sighs, just in general a whore for all the talisens/jingyis )

reaperfucker, reapersexual, reaperromantic ( haoyu is my bbg )

you can find my private blog @edensrose

help me steal a plane so I can get to my SPOUSE

 

. . . howl the eldritch !! 🍓 :

hello, I am howl. the eldritch artist, poet and writer, that was cast down to earth with a mission to spread some creativity and a little bit of chaos, but ended up being sold to an eldritch zoo in the 1950s for my crimes of writing too much hardcore angst.

bit of a blue devil if I say so myself — hand me something that is blue and I will steal it.

danish Italian ( with lots of other family in the mixing pot — hence why I speak and learn some specific languages )

as for the languages, I speak a bit of spanish, danish ( first language ), understand swedish, I am fluent in english and I am currently learning italian to reconnect with roots and I am trying to learn chinese.

unlabeled nonbinary ( they/them ) aromantic — one might notice that from time to time my mascot’s appearance changes in the art I make, depending on how I feel during the days I create.

SPICY FOOD LOVER RAAHH, give me all the spicy foods. also, licorice lover if you don’t like the salty licorice, hand it over to me <3

aspiring to be an author, graphics designer and artist that can one day teach art or share my art with the world and inspire other creators and artists.

former theatre student, I did improv and composed songs for the pieces that were made.

I am an eldritch being that follows eden around in all of her lives.

thalassophobic, also have claustrophobia, don’t like narrow stair cases that tilt.

PARENT OF TWO BEAUTIFUL CATS NAMED LUNA AND LUDO. ( yes eden is their mama )

I really like willow trees and lilies. ( all lilies really ! )

love cooking, it is one of my love languages, along with making art of the people I love!

1 ᴀʟᴇꜱꜱɪᴏ Qᴜᴇʀɪᴅᴏ ᴅᴇꜰᴇɴᴅᴇʀ  + alessio and rishen 781's SPOUTH ( I want all of dee alessios and rishens )

you can find my personal account here @bluezenzennie

the proudest whoreluthoe <3.

if you see me running down the streets at 3AM with a bunch of plane tickets, no you don’t.

 

. . . and so it begins !! 🍒 :

just two sillies who created a world together and are joined at the hip<3

we’re both 19+ 

we met via tumblr, may the fourth ( please don’t starwars jokes, we will not get them ), when howl sent some art to cheer up eden from the exam stress she was undergoing. the same day we began interacting about hobbies and ocs and our mutual interests in the fandoms we were in prior. we started chatting on discord and have been inseparable ever since 

we created this whimsical world on accident, by simply allowing our ocs to interact via tupperbots and silly headcanons. it soon turned serious when we discovered we were both fully invested in the lore of our accidentally created world and one day decided to make a blog to share it.

ever since we concluded we should make a blog, we eventually began getting bigger ideas and aspirations in our heads and we thought: “what if we made this world into a bookseries?” it was a joke at first. . . and then we spiralled down.

the world you see on this blog is only some of the new world and story to be featured in the books we are currently working on.

we are very connected to our ocs as they are the reason that we have grown as close as we have, along other personal factors. that said, it was these ocs that brought a lot of this friendship into blossom.

we are SPOUSES married with candied rings 

we keep one another out of trouble ( especially howl with eden SIGHS ) and fly around like two chaotic birdies just wishing to create and make our dreams come true. one day we hope to meet one another ( since we live on opposite sides of the entire fucking ocean )

. . . but we’ll make a plan and have fun while doing so <3

[bobokitty]

Just saw your latest post about how much you really like to talk about animation pipelines, I also noticed you said pipelines, with an s. Could you elaborate on that, is there multiple?

Also also could you talk about animation pipelines look like? I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to capture the entirety and it’s nuances/complexities in just a singular post (would absolutely love to see you do that tho) but like also just really interested to see what that’s like and if people outside of the pipeline usually have any misconceptions about it

(Hope that made sense 😭 activated me like a sleeper agent when I saw that post because I’m super interested in hearing this stuff LOL)

OH HO HO!!!!! PIPELINES, YES, WITH A S!!

I did a talk last month about that that was supposedly recorded, but I absolutely hate hearing the sound of my voice ahaha. So! Every studio has a different pipeline variation, and within those studios, the shows and projects have their own variations. I'm still kind of new in the industry. October will be my third anniversary. However, I love finding out how things work (I used to work in tech before making a whole career/life switcheroo)~

Here's a pipeline that I made with my personal experience on a show:

And here is one based off the book, Producing Animation:

Each of these boxes requires a team of people, size of course depending on project scale and budget. As part of the production admin (production assistant tho in name only ahahaha I am again someone who sticks their nose into things and work directly with leads and directors), you have to be those lines connecting all the boxes and make sure everyone gets what they need. In the one I made, you'll notice how there is a loop happening in various parts. Pre-pro (pre production) is what gets done before animation. Script, storyboard, character/prop design, and backgrounds. (Interestingly enough, this is not the same for every production! Boutique deals with a lot of short term projects, like ads, music videos, pitch work. Various studios make their bread and butter this way. It's short term work and sometimes you get clients who will pay a lot for like some weird passion project. Think like, The Line, or what Cartoon Saloon does between movies. Anywho! Sometimes things like backgrounds won't get done until it's time for animation!) Anywho! In pre pro, character designs are influencing storyboards which are then influencing design and what sheets need to be made and backgrounds are being made which then set what the board artists can work in but then board artists want to change location angles and suddenly next thing you know, Producers have nuked an entire sequence and all of that work is cut ahaha. You even have editors going in and adding their own touch to the boards, adding in audio recordings and temp sound effects and music to try and get the feel, etc.

Oh god this is a lot of text on my phone and I haven't even scratched the surface LOL!! Point is, there is a lot of back and forth happening. Animation on a larger scale IS a group project. Miss on that production staff glue and oh boy. You will get....something in the end, but it will not be....... I've seen some disasters ahahaha. You got what you got and things could have been avoided. (And sometimes a team can be the best team and then you got these producers who have no idea how animation works but alas they are footing the bill and what can you do????)

...I 100% cannot capture this in a single post lol! I can barely cover it in an hour lecture. We haven't even mentioned spreadsheets and other programs (I have yet to try ftrack or shotgrid but I would love to get my hands on them and see how they work in a production; they also include file management which right now I do manually). Ehehehehe it's fun~~ Every day is something new~ Oh man I want to see what it's like with live action as well! It has to be a completely different beast!!! One day~~

[fuck-customers]

are u ever gonna actually comment on posts again or are u just answering everything with 'i hate the text editor' now? I miss seeing u actually give ur thoughts on the post. Also, the staff blog probably has u marked as spam or something so they aren't even seeing u doing this.

I have given 7 answers to this. But as I am in customer service mode right now I'll tell you that it is not realistic to comment on each and every post. And Tumblr @staff changed the text editor and removed the old one leaving only the "shiny new text editor" that doesn't allow a comment-less post. So me being the smart ass I am put that I hate the new text editor.

As that can be annoying to all of you I changed it to "Posted by admin Rodney." on a followers advice. But as I have been tagging the posts with I HATE the new text editor for over two months, it will take about that long for all of them to filter out. The last one is currently scheduled to post sometime on Jun 29th. From that point on they will have the posted by tag.

-Rodney

[tamiveldura]

Friday Update!

This week was disrupted almost immediately with the news that I've been called for Jury Duty. That starts next Monday, and potentially lasts all week, which means I started the week trying to figure out how I'm going to hit deadlines with a lost week I wasn't expecting And potentially several additional days lost to recovery.

I don't have a good answer for that. The bad answer I I decided not to take a break after finishing Fated To The Wolf.

I wrapped up revisions of Fated on Monday and assembled the novella for the editor. That project goes into a multi author anthology and will be on preorder on the 15th. You'll see me chatting about it more as the preorder runs.

While revising, I have been massaging the outline for Rescued By The Dragon Assassin. (Preorder link to my website) On Tuesday I moved directly into the dictation draft of Rescued.

Normally I would give myself the rest of the week to handle admin work (never ending) and poke a bit at the outline to make it more robust. I fill in the time reading good books and generally letting the creative muscles take a rest.

But, see above, jury duty, so instead I started dictating Rescued. I got a few chapters in and made some outline adjustments. I got to the start of chapter 4 (of 10) and while I usually take the weekend off, I'm going to do one dictation session each day to help move the project forward.

Worst case scenario, I have to serve the whole week and I don't have the energy to do anything at all but survive that. Best case, I don't have to serve at all. But a really nice situation would be serving the week and still being able to come home and dictate a bit each day so the week isn't a total loss. Going downward in effort: being able to revise the first few chapters on Rescued, being able to outline the next project, being able to brainstorm the next project, or being able to do admin maintenance tasks like dealing with audio files would all progress things in the business.

Ultimately I don't know what the situation will be until Monday, which is really disruptive Now because I am autistic and rely heavily on Knowing The Plan. It helps that I have several potential plans to pick from given more information, I just hate waiting in limbo.

Rescued (20k) is due at the end of May. Vampire Mated (20k) is due end of June. I do not love how tight those are. In addition, there is a workshop I'm attending in August that will start throwing short stories at me Soon TM and with a single week deadline each, they can't be shuffled around once they arrive.

(if I get my first short assignment on Monday while I'm talking to the Judge I hope it's for a wild genre I don't prefer like the Regency, because if it's for the epic space opera I will burn at both ends to do it. Please cross your fingers it comes the week after.)

This whole situation is why I've stopped accepting group projects and submission projects for now. I want to clear these novellas, get through the anthology Workshop, and start working on some of the sequels of things these projects have spawned.

It's a lot and right now, with next week questionable, it's a lot more than normal.

Thanks for listening to the vent! Go check out Rescued on my webstore and if you'd like to get shit in your inbox instead, my newsletter goes out every Thursday with a small blog, sales alerts, and monthly free books from my friends 💜 Signup gives you a free kinky dragon shifter short story!

[seattlewa-hq]

Hi everyone! This is not a drill - we open for interactions tomorrow! I really can’t believe all the attention this roleplay has gotten so quickly. I sort of feel like I’m being pranked, like people are gonna come out with cameras and reveal it was all one big joke. But so far it isn’t! So, being said, I’m gonna leave a few points under the cut that I want to tell everyone! If everyone could like this post once they read it, I’d appreciate it very much.

01. Beta Editor

So I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I think it’d be in everyone’s best interest if we all used the new Beta editor Tumblr has rolled out. Meaning, if you have an old blog with the Legacy editor, please click that big purple popup in the corner to switch over to the new editor. Now, I know this is a big change if you aren’t used to it. I also kinda hate it. But it works best for everyone if we all use it. Tumblr has said they’re planning on getting rid of the Legacy editor altogether, so it’s easiest for everyone to just make the switch and adjust.

There’s a helpful tutorial here on how to use it and the new new version of xKit, and if you need additional help then let me know and I’ll walk you through it. It’s a necessary evil and I promise it’s easier to use than it seems.

02. Intros

I don’t think I said this in the rules, which is my bad, but intros are expected from everyone! They can be as short or as detailed as you want, I really don’t mind. I just want the most basic of information about your characters, and I would like it pinned to your profile so everyone can see it!

03. Locations Page

Due to some requests in the OOC Discord, I’ll be adding a locations page to the main! It’ll take me a few days to get it all set up, but if you have any requests or ideas for it, send them to the main or to the suggestions page on our Discord if you’re a part of it!

04. Co-Mod

I’m thinking, with how much attention the main has been getting, I might need to consider getting a bit of help running things. I think I’ll put together a little co-admin application for whoever is interested, so if you are interested, be on the lookout for that in the next few days. 

05. I LOVE YOU!!!

I know I’m a broken record but I am SHOCKED beyond shocked that people have joined this roleplay. I thought I’d be sitting here, making posts into the void, getting ignored in the tags until I just lost motivation and deleted the blog. But you guys have proven me wrong in the wildest, craziest way and it’s insane! I’m so happy and so grateful for you guys, and I hope with everything in me I give you a fun writing experience here. 

[rebornnebulasystem]

Hello Tumblr, I’m Rev from the Reborn Nebula System, and here are our most frequent fronters, starting with me

Rev (🪦)

- He/They/It prns, System Host and former Persecutor, I front the most and do our day to day things.

I’m a fictive of Revivebur from the Dream SMP, and I do still somewhat relate to source, but it’s very barely

Mike (🧨)

- He/Him prns, Protector and Information Manager, he mostly fronts whenever, and just loves to update things, especially our Simply Plural, it only looks that good thanks to him.

He is a fictive of Vilbur from the Dream SMP, and like most of us, is also not very connected to source

Voided (🌌)

- They/Them prns, Persecutor and self proclaimed Professional Asshole, they front just to be a playful prick, but sometimes to try protecting us, emphasis on TRY.

They are the most disconnected from their source, being another Revivebur fictive, and they absolutely hate source, so dont mention anything about it

R (👓)

- He/Him prns, Host and former Gatekeeper, a chill (pun intended) fella who has a deep passion for sleeping and stealing cheese, all hail the rat king/ij

He is sourced from the Editor Wilbur ARG as an introject of R. Fakier, but is very disconnected from source

Nyx/Toms (🦝)

- He/It/Feral prns, Minor host, he doesnt really front much, and he’s fairly new so you cant blame it

Ferals a fuzztive of Tommy from the Dream SMP, specifically depictions of him as a racoon

And finally, Silas (🏢)

- He/They prns, Internal Protector and Admin, He does what needs sorting in headspace, or things that Mike cant handle in the real world

He is a fictive of Siren from Tommyinnits Clinic for Supervillains

Those are just the most frequent fronters, ask us who we should introduce next

[thebibliosphere]

Sooo, I have an idea for my own vampire story (it’s cool, with secret society’s and murder and lesbians). How do you go about making it a reality?

Start writing it. You can either plot it out in detail or do a vague outline and see where it takes you from there.

You’ll probs go through a couple of drafts of the idea before you get to the final rough draft. After that I’d highly recommend hiring an editor(s). (Mine are @roselarkpublishing) This advice stands true whether you decide to self-pub or trad-pub.

A good book to read if you decide to go self-pub is Let's Get Digital by David Gaughran. His book helps demystify a lot of the process, especially how to use keywords for optimizing the Amazon algorithm. (This is assuming you are using Amazon KDP which I would recommend for self-pub because it’s the biggest source of reliable income. If it makes anyone feel better, kdp contributes very little money to Amazon’s overall profit.)

If you don’t know what kind of editing you need, check to see if they offer a manuscript assessment. This can help them pinpoint which service you’d benefit from most, as well as which areas you can strengthen on your own as a writer. They might also offer formatting services, which I’d highly recommend you take them up on if you decide to self publish.

Formatting varies from ebook to paperback and isn’t impossible to do on your own (I know some people hate it) but is really easy to fuck up. I can’t tell you how many promising books I’ve returned because their internal formatting was bad enough to be an accessibility issue.

If you are going the traditional route, shopping around for an agent to rep you is your next priority. Most trad-publishers won’t read unsolicited submissions and won’t even acknowledge your submission. Remember, any agent that wants money up front is probably a scammer. Agents take their fees as commission out of the final deal reached with the publisher. The publisher will also handle any additional editing, formatting, and cover art, but you will be expected to do most of your own marketing. They’ll do some marketing for you if you’re lucky, but most trad authors are expected to maintain an active social media presence to boost their work.

If you are going self-pub, cover art should be your next step although you could also be tackling this while things are being edited.

Formatting covers for ebooks is easier than physical books as Amazon and Ingram Spark seem to decide their physical dimensions by planetary alignment and both are different despite Amazon occasionally using Ingram as an overflow printer. *jazz hands*

Using a service like draft2digital will save you a lot of extra admin spoons and will allow for easier global distribution for your ebooks (paperback is currently in beta iirc).

If you decide to do paperbacks you can use the free Amazon isbn if you want, but I prefer to buy my own ISBNs which you can buy in bulk from Bowker. You will need a separate ISBN for Amazon and Ingram iirc but at the time of writing this it’s 7am so don’t quote me on that.

Once you’ve got everything uploaded and approved (pro-tip: try not to submit queer focused manuscripts for approval on Amazon over the weekends. There’s a known issue with one of the weekend approvers being a homophobe who finds arbitrary reasons to knock back manuscripts, especially queer romance which they automatically rate as more explicit than het-romances 😬) you need to decide if you’re going to set it up for pre-order or immediate launch. Pre-order allows you to drum up some advance self-promo which can be good. But it’s really up to you.

Self-promo is a huge factor in publishing whether you’re trad or self-pub so it can also be a good idea to make uniform social media handles with your author name. An author website is also a very, very good idea to give people a main space to find your work.

Audio books is a whole other thing I don’t know much about but am currently in the process of learning about. If this is something you want to do, don’t give audible exclusive rights. At present it binds you into a 7 year contract that makes the author very little money and a bunch of people use their return policy as a library service by refunding the book the moment they’re done. This doesn’t come out of Amazon’s pocket as some people seem to think but directly from the author and is extremely crummy. Wide distribution is the way to go. There’s a service similar to draft2digita for audiobooks but I can’t currently remember the name of it. called Findaway Voices, which is supposed to be good for self pub and mass distribution.

I have likely missed a couple of steps, and certainly didn’t go as in depth as the above the book I listed above. But this is the general gist of how you turn an idea into a book. Hope it helps and best of luck!

[rosesfox]

To what that Anon said, beware im about to get some of similar complaints about ACOSF and Nesta’s growth too storm!

GOD I’m dreading Elain being ruined the way Nesta was for me too especially after how she developed her in ACOSF. Nesta being a warrior can fit any cold female character sure but a character who hasn’t gotten off her ass in the longest suddenly becoming this warrior, joining the blood rite, not having enough scenes with her sisters specifically Feyre and not getting a more in depth apology (Amren’s ass who didn’t even consider Nesta a friend and disrespected her like shit on a boot got a heartfelt apology from Nesta. ON HER MF KNEES. the hell did she do to deserve a better apology than Feyre, was saving her life supposed to replace proper apology dialogue? I guess so 🥴) suddenly knowing archery and it just made her look worse for doing nothing so what was it added to her for and after this long of no one mentioning she could do that? not even believably written, calling Elain a dog, suddenly being passionate about dancing, there being more smut than any Cassian growth or how it overshadowed the plot and proper relationship growth, disrespecting the honor of how and who joins and wins the Blood rite when with the Bat boys it was acclaimed to be so incredibly difficult and they just..won it with hiding “using logic that the men don’t” and magic bracelet manipulation by the queen as a cop out to give them Illyrian titles. I think she made Nesta’s friendship seem YA af too, they acted like middle schoolers in an…adult book. “let’s read smut hehehe” like what series am I reading? A bubble bath and baby Pegasus? Am I reading Percy Jackson or adult fantasy? Too many plot holes, retconning and just poor decisions that she apparently seems oblivious and careless about. Was the editor asleep and just let her write what she wanted to? Apparently yall 😵‍💫

I adore Elain and am worried I won’t like her growth or the way SJM writes her part of book…I’m expecting the same amount of girl bossing and smut as Nesta had no matter what we’ve known Elain to be like. I’m not saying she can’t be freaky but having her do too much does NOT fit her more modest personality. Because I know damn well she’ll write Az incredibly sexual probably even more so than his brothers considering his masterbaiting to even just a gift from Elain, MEDICINE for christs sake. Him being known to have secret lovers and SJM’s bestfriend hyping SJM up for super freaky Az? It’s going to be nasty in their book and let’s hope it makes sense and isn’t overdone like Nessian was and overshadowed proper growth and plot smh. Elain seems super secretive and I hope she doesn’t upset anyone and we have drama in the fandom over her.

All in all, SJM wrote a book I’ve never read so many inconsistencies or flaws in so yeah, I’m nervous that I’ll dislike Elain too. Feyre had the best damn trilogy and growth and I so badly want to love Elains but she seems to be writing worse now, even CC2 had a lot of cringe things, the oversexualization of Bryce and people claiming she’s meant to be a Queen when her maturity and communication and selflessness is barely there..

I went off 🥲 I’m sorry admin but so many people complain about this that imagine how cringe she can write Elain. I don’t even want to see her become a High Lady of Dusk like everyone so badly wants because…hy the hell would my girl become that? What has any other sister besides Feyre done to deserve their own court aside from being a Lady? I love Elain and can say that if she becomes a High Lady I will sell my book and only claim Feyre and leave fandom. This isn’t hate for Elain! that quick ass growth to a High Lady just makes no damn sense. Bring dusk back to life possibly that’d be exciting, heal it bring it back to life sure or do something to the prison but please SJM don’t make her a damn High Lady. That’s it..

i agree with everything you said. i hate it when they make acosf look like a decent book or as if nesta is sarah's most developed character when there are all these inconsistencies and sarah has managed to make the relationship between the sisters even worse.

all your concerns about elain are perfectly understandable. i'm also afraid that sarah's going to make a cheap, disgusting porn like she did in acosf, and that she'll ruin azriel like she did cassian. when we compare it with acosf, it's really scary. i hope she stays true to the personalities of both azriel and elain, as they both exude romanticism and affection and not just sexual energy (since, come on, nessian doesn't have the slightest romantic involvement and there's only sex in the book.)

i also find the oversexualization that sarah has with the characters disgusting and unnecessary. It's not empowering, it's just embarrassing. bryce definitely wasn't fit to be queen and it's not even the kind of development she's had. also, i don't think elain will become a high lady because that theory doesn't make sense and doesn't fit anywhere. helion is more alive than ever and i find it very difficult sarah to kill him for nothing.

my theory is that elain will discover herself as a seer, she will have to interact with azriel and do quests for night court while she makes her own decisions. i want to remain confident that sarah will respect the characters she has created and developed over the years and that it won't change everything.

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi Kitty and Piggy! I'm applying to a graduate certificate program that I'm hoping will be the gateway to my new career after working in admin for nearly 4 years. I want a career that will support me financially. Before choosing whether this program is the right thing to dedicate my time and money to, I'm asking grads of the program for informational interviews. I'm great on the job stuff, but how do I ask them what they make at their jobs/what I could expect to make after the program?

What a great question, my pet! I went to a graduate certificate program that led directly to my career as an editor, so if you were to interview me, I’d say it was worth it.

But (and that’s a BIG BUTT), I wasn’t as smart as you, and I didn’t ask the question about salary. Publishing is notoriously underpaid (I’ll share that story in a link at the end), and while I had a lot of success in my publishing career, I ultimately left for a slightly different position in financial media because it paid metric fuckloads more.

Anyway, here’s how you avoid the awkwardness: don’t ask them. Do your research online instead. There are sites like Glassdoor that will help you determine your potential future salary based on the industry, job title, and region. So do that research before going into those informational interviews.

Or you could ask a slightly more delicate question like “Given your current salary, do you think the cost of the certificate program was worth it?” They can tell you their salary if they want at that point, but it gives them the leeway not to.

How NOT to Determine Your Salary 

A Millennial's Guide to Growing Your Salary 

I Hate My Job and I Don't Know How To Leave It: A Confession 

[goddesswritings]

“Can I slap her for you?” - Corpse Husband | Part One

Title: “Can I slap her for you?” – Part One

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Reader

Summary: Being stuck living with the queen of YouTube drama and partying during the pandemic has seriously worn down your patience. Meeting Pokimane has changed your life for the better, making Among Us a pivotal part of your life.

Word Count: 5.3k

I’m always writing so much plot! I hope you like it. Part Two is in the works.

********

Credit to PIC owner!

This pandemic was hell for you. Being stuck in this apartment with your bitch of a sister was not something you would wish on even your enemy.

When you first moved to LA with her, things were fine, and you got along. She had a budding YouTube career, and you were working a good job. Pretty quickly, she’d hired you as her editor since that was a daily part of your real job, you happily agreed because it meant you could get money on the side and still work.

Your sister was mainly a beauty YouTuber but last year she gained over 3 million followers when she started a series where she would interview people in other lines of entertainment and then test it out. Since then, she’d become a horror to live with.

Now with the pandemic, you’d been furloughed from you day job and working full time for your diva of a sister. She had only been getting worse and worse. Being stuck with her was crap, especially since she was selfish and still went out to party and do collabs with people like there wasn’t a massive virus out there.

“I hope you finished the editing I needed done.” Olivia, your sister, asked as she shut the front door.

You were just finishing up the edits from your spot on the couch. “Yeah, I did it while you were out risking lives.”

“Shut the hell up. I’m an adult and I can do what I want.” She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Even when it’s killing hundreds of thousands of people?” You were so sick of her attitude. She has no care in the world for anyone but herself. In the last month, her name had been posted all over the commentary YouTubers channels. Slamming her for partying while the world dealt with Covid.

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Those people are not my problem at all. If they are so afraid, they should just stay home.”

“Why are you so selfish?” Her behavior was completely out of hands these days.

“Do I need to remind you that I pay you?” She sent you a glare before heading off to her room. You grumbled and threw your head back. There was no way you could handle her.

Stressing out over her was no good, so you decided to take your laptop back to your room and play some games to calm yourself down. Among Us was one of those games that allowed to you just play and forget the stress. You booted up the game and joined some random lobbies. It was hard to find good games because you usually ran into some sour players who couldn’t just play the game without causing drama.

A few rounds in, your phone buzzed, indicating a text. You exited the current game, one of the imposters had already killed you anyway, and picked up the phone. There was a text from Poki. The two of you had become quick friends when she appeared on your sisters series but she clicked more with you since you were more of a gamer.

P: Hey Y/n, what are you doing currently?

It was an unexpected text because you had been fairly sure Poki had a stream tonight.

Y/n: Nothing since I just finished editing my selfish sisters video. What’s up?

She knew very well how horrible Olivia was and she’d been the one person who you could talk to about it. You appreciated her for it.

Poki: Damn, did she go to another party?

Y/n: Yup, she sure did. Then threatened my job when I called her out on it.

Poki: Wow, not cool. Hey, so you know how I’m streaming tonight?

Y/n: Yeah.

Poki: So I had everyone set up for the game but last minute someone dropped out. We need one more person and I know you’re amazing in Among Us. Would you join our game?

This was a surprise. You weren’t a YouTuber or a streamer, so for her to ask you, meant she really was desperate.

Y/n: Sure, I’m free. Who’s playing tonight?

Poki: Rae, Lily, Ethan, Mark, Felix, Toast, Sykkuno, and Corpse.

Wow, that was a packed game full of some pretty big names. Your nerves kicked up at the thought of being in a game with these amazing people.

Y/n: Sweet!

Poki: I will send you the discord so you can join the chat and the game code.

Y/n: Thanks.

She instantly sent you the links and you got your self set up with your headphones. Poki connected you into the discord call.

“Hey, everyone welcome my good friend, Y/n. She’s the one who will fill in on the open spot tonight.” She introduced you to the group.

A chorus of hello’s was heard. You knew Rae, so she jumped right into welcoming you.

Pushing the nerves away, you managed to little hello. Your voice was softer than you’d intended. Damn nerves.

“Guys! Y/n is so good in Among Us. Her skills rival Corpse’s.” Rae gushed. You’d played a game with Rae and Poki and a few of the other girls, but no one had been streaming.

“Whaddup baby.” The deep voice of Corpse said. His voice was something else.

“Don’t make her too nervous there, man.” Felix commented which made the other guys laugh.

“Oh no worries, I’m not nervous.” You said even though you really were nervous. You switched into the game and typed in the code Poki had sent you. Immediately the game lobby popped up, filled with everyone who was on the call. Your character popped onto the screen and took the white color.

“Good to know. I look forward to being an imposter with you.” Corpse said making your cheeks heat up just a little.

“You really need to watch out for her.” Lily said making you giggle. She was right. You were a deceitful imposter.

You quickly changed your hat to the halo, making you match your chosen username, Angel.

“Look how fitting her character is.” Mark commented. “Is that an indication of how you will be?”

“Perhaps.” You were starting to calm your nerves. “You will just have to find out.”

“Okay, let’s get started.” Poki said as the countdown started on screen. You muted your mic. The screen flashed the crew-mate title, and you felt a little more relieved. You hated starting as an imposter.

The map you were in was Polus, your favorite. The first thing you did, was the navigation task before also doing keys. Nearly everyone was there, which meant the two imposters were faking the tasks. After that, you ran off entering the building that housed electrical and o2. You looked around for tasks.

“I have my eye on you, Angel.” Felix said as he came into o2.

You unmuted your mic. “Good, then you can watch me teach you how to do tasks.” You sassed, making the group laugh.

“Damn, I already like her.” Ethan said, getting sounds of approval from Sykkuno, Mark, and Corpse.

“Stop simping and play the game.” Poki commented, making you laugh.

Leaving o2, you ran outside to check the weather nodes. Felix was still following you closely. He was convinced you were an Imposter.

“Why is this guy following me around?” You asked, trying to run from him.

“Felix, what are you doing?” Rae asked as she popped up beside you.

“Making sure she’s not an imposter.” He sounded innocent.

“Well I’m not. Now go do your tasks.” Once again you ran from his character and entered the office. You passed Corpse’s black character before heading in, to do card swipe.

Suddenly a body was reported. Felix’s body.

“Whoa, okay, Y/n did you kill Felix?” Toast asked.

“What? No? I left him to go do my tasks.” You defended.

“I can confirm she was in office with me. I watched her do card swipe.” Corpse added.

The thing was, you passed him as he was leaving the office, and he definitely didn’t stay to watch you. He was headed in the direction you had left Felix and Rae. So, both were sus.

“Okay, then Rae where were you?” Sykkuno questioned.

“I left Felix by weapons. I was headed to lab.” You couldn’t decipher a lie from her.

“Hmmm, okay. Skip then?” Ethan offered. The group agreed.

Once back in the game, you decided to head to labs to find the rest of your tasks. Sykkuno followed you but broke off to go through decontamination. You did your scan in peace before another body was reported. This time it had been both Mark and Lily.

“Any sus?” Ethan asked.

“No, I was in electrical.” Toast said.

“I went to o2.” Poki added.

“Y/n, where were you?” Toast questioned. You were sure he thought you were an imposter.

“I was in the lab doing my scan, which I never got to finish.” You hated being interrupted mid-task.

“Anyone see her go there?”

“I passed her while I headed to decontamination.” Sykkuno vouched for you.

“Sure but the body was right outside the lab. She could have gone back to kill Mark after you were gone.”

“But I didn’t. I was doing my task.” You repeated with a little smile. You loved this game.

“Sure. I don’t believe you.” Toast was a hard one to convince.

“She didn’t do it. I entered lab and she was doing her scan.” Corpse spoke up. Again he was covering for you when you know he was not in Lab with you.

“Okay. I guess we skip?” Poki said. Everyone agreed but when it was done, you had two votes but three had skipped, so you had been spared luckily. Toast for sure voted for you, you had no clue who else did but it didn’t matter.

Back in the game, you headed back to lab to finish your scan. Once done, you headed to decontamination, then to the specimen room for a task. As you entered, you found Corpse.

“Hey Corpse, having fun with your tasks?” You asked as you went to your own task.

“I sure am.” He stated before his character was running out of the room and up to the lab. Once your task was done, you had finished all your tasks and headed back to Admin. You entered office to find a dead Sykkuno, so you hit report.

“That was for sure a self-report.” Toast quickly said.

“It wasn’t, but okay.” You said shaking your head. Toast was so sus on you all game.

“I’m sus of Toast.” Rae said while Corpse and Poki agreed with her.

“Wait, Ethan is dead too. Damn, these Imposters got around.” Toast commented. “By the way, I am not an Imposter. Y/n is.”

“She’s not. I have seen her do her tasks all game.” Corpse was quick to come to your rescue. It was sweet how he was vouching for you all game.

“Sure, I’m voting Y/n.” Toast said as his ‘I Voted’ badge popped up.

You decided you were going to vote off Toast because he was getting on your nerves. Apparently the others were feeling the same because everyone else voted off Toast as well. His character was launched into the Lava. Toast was NOT an Imposter.

Back in the game, you ran around, just seeing if you could spot anyone being sus before Poki was killed. Straight after the defeat title showed, and the Imposters were revealed to be none other than Rae and Corpse.

Everyone dropped back into the lobby.

“I told you I wasn’t an Imposter.” You boasted.

“Sorry Y/n, I should have believed you.” Toast said.

“No worries. But hey, Corpse and Rae had plenty of chances to kill me, but they didn’t. Why?” It was interesting to you.

Rae laughed. “I didn’t want to kill you right in the beginning of your first game with us. You deserved to have some fun before you got killed.”

“Well thank you.” It was sweet of Rae to do that.

“I didn’t want to kill an Angel. It wouldn’t be right.” Corpse stated with a cute laugh afterwards.

Felix groaned. “But you have no issue killing anyone else.”

“It be like that sometimes.” Ethan stated which had you in stitches, as well as the rest of the group. “Okay, let’s begin another round.” He added.

The next few games were fun and interesting. You were always a crew member, but someone was always sus on you. But no matter what, Corpse would vouch for you. Sometimes his character would follow you around, do tasks with you. It was pretty freaking cute and clear to see the man with the alluring deep voice had taken a liking to you. It was sweet.

“One more game?” Poki asked after a slew of other games. Everyone agreed. She started the game and after the countdown, the screen flashed that you were finally an Imposter. Your fellow Imposter was of course Corpse. It was only natural.

You and he teamed up and killed many of the others. Starting with Rae and Lily, moving onto Toast and Sykkuno. Then someone finally reported the bodies.

“Four bodies already?” Mark stated as the red x’s showed up on their icons.

“Damn, someone is having fun.” You said, pretending like it wasn’t you who had done half of the killing.

“I saw Poki headed into Electrical where Lily and Rae were.” Corpse said, sounding genuine as always. He was so good at Imposter. His ability to lie was excellent.

“Sure I went to Electrical, but I left after fixing the lights.” Poki said.

“I don’t know. You seem sus.” Ethan said. “I saw you enter lab, and after I saw Sykunno’s body right before someone reported Lily and Rae’s.”

“I swear, it’s not me. I was just doing my tasks. How could I kill four people in that short amount of time?”

“It’s possible. You could have vented.” Corpse was right too.

“Guys, please.” She pleaded as everyone put in their votes. Nearly everyone had voted for Poki and her character was launched into the lava, only to show she was not an Imposter.

“Sorry Poki.” Ethan said before everyone hopped back into the game.

Once again, you and Corpse were teamed up, but you saw Mark head one way while Ethan was going another. Almost silently, the two of you decided to split up and take them. You followed Mark into O2, trailing him into the tree. No one was around, so you killed him before quickly venting away from there. Making sure no one was around when you resurfaced. Corpse must have killed Ethan because the Victory screen popped up for the two of you.

“Damn, I should have known this was a team effort between Corpse and the Angel. You’re far from an Angel when you’re an imposter.” Mark complained.

“That’s part of the thrill.” It really was. You loved being able to shock people that way.

“Good job, partner. You’re a great Imposter like me. We need to team up more often.” Corpse’s words made you feel all warm. It was insanely fun being Imposter with him. Your combined skills made things that much better.

“Okay, I think it’s time to call it a night. Thank you so much for joining us, Y/n.” Poki yawned to show it was getting late.

“Of course. I loved playing with all of you. It was much better than playing with randoms.”

“I get that. Randoms can be very annoying.” Sykkuno agreed. “It was so good to meet you, Y/n. I hope you join more games so I can be an Imposter with you!”

You loved how excited he sounded. “I guess we all want a chance to be Imposter with her.” Felix stated what everyone else was thinking.

“Hey, no one steals my Imposter buddy.” Corpse spoke up, which once again had you feeling some kind of good way.

“Corpse, you’re being such a simp.” Rae laughed, which made everyone else go nuts.

You all bid your goodbyes before you exited the game and the discord call. You found there was a huge smile on your face after that fun you had just had with Poki and her friends. They were all super welcoming of you, despite not knowing a thing about you.

Poki: Thank you for playing with us. I hope you had fun! You didn’t mind being on my stream?

Y/n: I had so much fun, everyone was so good to me. Also, not at all!

Poki: Good because my chat loved you! They couldn’t stop gushing about how much they loved you. It was so cute.

This was not something you had expected. Her stream had never met you, so for them to like you playing a game with the group, that was nice.

Y/n: Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting that. That’s so sweet!

Poki: You also seemed to get Corpse simping for you. Sykkuno is super jealous.

You laughed when you read that.

Y/n: Sykkuno doesn’t have to be jealous. It was a one-time thing, and he can have Corpse back in the next game.

Sure, you wanted it to be more than a one-time thing, but you weren’t going to let your hopes get too high. Poki had many streamer friends, who would get their streams way more viewers than you ever could.

Poki: I wouldn’t count on that. We’re definitely going to use you for more games. You’re one of us now, even if you don’t stream.

Her words warmed your heard. Poki had been one of the very few people you had made friends with when you moved to Cali with your sister and your friendship was only 10 months old. It was nice to have someone who wanted to include you in on the things she was doing.

Y/n: Are you sure? Because I would hate to be taking someone more interesting’s spot.

Poki: You shut that mouth. The group loved you and we’re all looking forward to playing with you again.

Y/n: Okay if that’s what they want.

Poki: They do, now get some sleep. I know you’ve been overworking yourself for your sister.

Y/n: You would be right. Thank you for the fun night, Poki. You get some sleep as well.

Poki: 😊

You liked her message before deciding it was indeed time for bed. Editing those videos did take energy out of you, especially since your sister would review and have you re-edit the things she didn’t like. Not fun at all.

****

The next month passed by with Poki inviting you to more games with her and her friends. Most of those games included Corpse, who’d taken a liking to you. The last few games, he’d been bugging you to tell him who you were and how you met Poki, but you were keeping that a secret. You really didn’t want him or the others knowing you were the older sister of selfish party girl Olivia Bella.

Your sister had found out you’d been playing the game with Poki and her friends and decided she was going to say some shit.

“How did you get Poki to let you play with her and the other streamers?” Olivia said with clear distaste towards you.

You shrugged. “She just asked me to step in for someone one day and now they enjoy playing with me.”

She laughed obnoxiously. “That such a joke. I needed that laugh, thank you.”

You clenched your fists, trying to contain your anger against your sister. She was really grating on your nerves these days.

“Damn, I would do anything to play with Corpse. His voice is so hot.” She muttered looking deranged.

“He’s much more than his voice you know.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s whatever I want him to be. God, I bet he’s so sexy behind that screen.”

“Please stop, he’s my friend and talk like that is uncomfortable.”

She cackled. “Corpse is not your friend, you loser. He just tolerates you like the rest of that group. I bet Poki only asked you to join out of pity.”

Her words slapped you in the face and threatened to strangle you. It was unbelievable that your younger sister was really acting like this to you.

“Why are you like this to me?” You questioned in all seriousness.

“Because you annoy me. Isn’t it obvious. I meant if I had the money, I would have moved here without you. Living with you is the worst. You know you’re like the most boring person in the world?”

The insults just kept on coming. She truly didn’t like you and it felt horrible. Family wasn’t supposed to be like this. “I get it, thank you.” You walked away before she could say anything else, she was horrible to you.

Her words made you sad. The only thing that could cheer you up was the fact that Poki had invited you to another game. It was something you needed after that conversation with your sister.

Poki: Hey girl, this kills me to do but Sean invited someone else to play tonight. Someone he said was eager to play with us. I’m so sorry.

This was simply perfect. The one time you craved interaction with the Among Us crew, they added someone else to the game. Of course it was always a possibility, but it didn’t stop from making you upset.

A couple of tears streamed down your face before you wiped them away. You wouldn’t let this get to you.

Y/n: No, please don’t worry. I understand it is always a possibility. Have a good stream!

Poki: I think you should know the person joining us is your sister. I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, but they didn’t really believe me. I’m so sorry.

Your sister was the reason you have been replaced for tonight. Perfect. Of course it was her. She always took the things you liked, away from you.

Y/n: Please stop apologizing, I completely understand.

Poki: Should I tell them she’s your sister?

Y/n: No, please don’t let them know that.

Poki: Okay, please know we will miss you in tonights stream.

Doubt filled you. After reading those words. There was no way they would miss you in the game tonight. It was clear you didn’t bring in viewers for the streams, but your sister would be able to do that without any issues. Now your night was truly ruined. Thankfully, you could just lay in bed and sulk all you wanted.

The bedroom door burst open. “Hey, can you set up this game for me? I assume you know I’m playing Among Us with the crew tonight. Told you they didn’t care if you were there or not.” Did she ever stop this shit?

“Why should I help you?” You grumbled, glaring up at your blonde-haired sister. She looked like she was dressed for another party, not an off the cuff stream.

“Well, I pay you and if you want that to continue, you will help me set up the game and stream.” Her hanging your only source of income over your head was really shitty.

You growled but got out of bed, passing by her in a haste. You entered her office and quickly got to work setting up the stream and discord. Then you showed her how to load the game. She just nodded, not looking happy at all.

“Have fun.” You sounded bitter but at this point, you couldn’t hide it.

“Oh I’m going to have so much fun with them. It’s going to be so good, and maybe they will ask me to join them more often and they can stop faking their friendships with you.”

“Cool, good for you.” The audacity of this bitch. You left once you were sure it was set up correctly. She didn’t see, but you shot her the finger as you left. She was a bitch through and through.

You retreated to your room to sulk some more. This day was such a let down for you. Over the last month, you had really clicked with the Among Us group. Meeting more streamers as Poki had more games. They all seemed to like you, but your sister was probably right, they were just being nice because they could.

As you stared at your ceiling, you heard your sister talking and knew the stream had started. Groaning, you threw on some headphones and put on your playlist that was saved strictly for when you were sad. It helped to take your thoughts from the stressor at hand? And ease your mind.

****

Meanwhile, the stream was hell. Sean majorly regretted inviting Olivia onto it. To be fair, he was only being nice because the girl had been begging to join the game for a while now in his DM’s. But it was a huge regret with the way this woman was acting. She couldn’t even be Imposter without outing herself and the second Imposter.

“You guys know Y/n is my sister right?” She said offhandedly as they were waiting in the lobby for the next game.

“Wait what? Is that true?” Ludwig asked in disbelief. This woman was nothing like Y/n. She was a total ditz compared to Y/n.

“Of course it is. I have lived with her for twenty years now, I know a lot of dirt about her.” Hearing her say this angered Poki.

“Don’t go there, Olivia. Just play the game.” Poki didn’t want her to spill anything about her friend. It was messy that she would even want to.

Olivia sighed. “Awe but you would love this.”

“No, let’s just play the game.” Corpse was quick to cut her off.

“Come on Corpse, are you sure you don’t want to hear all the embarrassing things I know about her?” Everyone was quickly realizing just how messed up in the brain Olivia was.

“You do realize most of us are streaming this live?” Rae stated, sounding just as frustrated as Corpse felt.

“Please, let’s start the game.” He all but growled, wanting to shut this woman up. The game started and he pulled out his phone. He was going to finally get Poki to tell him Y/n’s instagram.

Corpse: I know you told me you couldn’t tell me what Y/n’s instagram is but please, can I get it now? Her sister is a fucking bitch.

He has so much more he wanted to say about Olivia and entitled attitude but making sure Y/n was okay was his number one priority.

Poki: She’s going to hate me if I do it.

Corpse: Please, this is important to me.

Poki: You owe me. Here’s her insta.

She sent him a link that led to a private instagram under the name Y/nY/l/n96. He requested to follow her.

Corpse: Thank you, let me know when to pay up.

Poki: Will do, now get into the game or Olivia is going to kill you. She’s imposter.

He got back into the game, hoping Y/n would accept his request.

****

After an hour of ‘sad girl hours’. You decided to do something that could help you not to focus on Olivia streaming in the other room.

Clicking instagram, you saw a notification. corpse_husband has requested to follow you. This was interesting. Either he’s smart enough to figure out who you are or Poki told him.

You accepted his follow and followed him back. He only had seven pictures, and of course there weren’t face pics. You admired him for keeping himself faceless to his fans. Now you hoped he wouldn’t bend to their pressure and reveal his face. Being faceless was good for him and his anxiety. The latest pics were his hand reveals he did for the fans, they made you giggle.

Corpse was good at keeping himself secret and you liked that. You did what you could to stay secret as well. Your Instagram profile picture was not even you, so no one would be able to point you out even if they knew your face. Also, you have hidden the account from Olivia, so she couldn’t send her fans to torment you.

As you scrolled Instagram, you received a DM. It was from the one and only Corpse Husband.

Corpse: This stream is hell without you tonight. Why did Sean have to invite her?

It made you feel a little better to see that Corpse was missing you in the stream tonight.

Y/n: That’s a question you will have to ask Sean. I was looking forward to playing Among Us with the group as well, but hey, it looks like they found someone who will bring in the views.

Corpse: Nope. She’s chasing away everyone’s viewers. Your sister is the worst. I see why you didn’t want us to know the two of you were related.

Your blood ran cold. How did he know that?

Y/n: How did you know she was my sister?

Corpse: She won’t shut up about it. No one can get her to stop. I’m sorry if you didn’t want us to know about this.

Of course, you should have known that Olivia was going to tell everyone that. She was also probably opening her mouth about so much other stuff.

Y/n: Well fuck. This sucks.

Corpse: Hey, don’t worry about it. No one is judging you for this, but we are wondering how you manage to handle her.

A soft giggle left your mouth.

Y/n: It’s not easy. I mean sure I’m the older sister, but she acts like the queen around here.

Corpse: Damn. Here we go again. Your sister is trying to start some drama.

Hearing this, you realized you had to do something about this. There was no way you could let her sit there and continue to mouth off about you or anyone else in her life.

Y/n: Brace yourself, I’m about to ruin her stream.

Corpse: Good luck!

It was time to put her in her place, you got up and headed to the utility closet by the front door of the apartment. The fuse box was located there. You opened it and found the switch for her office and clicked it off. It was half a second before a loud scream was heard.

In less than thirty seconds she was running out of the office with a livid look upon her face. “What the fuck have you done?” She screamed while stomping up to you.

“I heard you were talking shit about me and decided to end it.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“I can say whatever I want. The group was enjoying it.” She tried to act smug.

You laughed in her face. “Do you ever not lie?”

“Do you ever stop being a bitter bitch?” The anger was clear, but you didn’t care.

“Oh fuck off. You were annoying them with your ridiculous bullshit. I completely saved your ass from making a fool of yourself.”

“I fucking hate you!” She stepped up to you. “I’m kicking you out. Pack your shit and get the fuck out of my apartment.” The look on her face, showed she was serious about this.

“Fine.” Was all you said before you turned around and went back to your room, well your former room now. Pulling some bags out, you stuffed some clothes and important items into them. Once filled, you pulled on shoes and made sure you had what you needed until you could come get the rest of your stuff. Currently, you didn’t know how to feel about any of this, but you did need to get away from her.

PART TWO >>

[butch-bitch-dyke]

Some Stuff(tm) about the MOGAI Wiki but not what you're expecting

(I was not involved in... whatever the fuck Kris did and left before that happened, I am bewildered.)

Hi! I’m not sharing my name, though you might be able to guess. Refer to me as "butch" or "dyke" and use it/its pronouns.

I used to be a MOGAI coiner, centering on pagan, lesbian, and Latin identity. I also used to be an extremely prolific editor for what is now the Mogai Wiki (the Ezgender Wiki, when I was an editor), writing 40+ full pages and editing possibly 200+. And I left because of transmisogyny. Fun.

At the time, the wiki & Discord didn’t have a single active transfem mod. The only mod who is maybe transfem was extremely inactive to the point I’d never seen them post anything in the server. This remains the case, apparently. (Can't say I'm shocked the owner left due to being overly defensive given the incident this post is about.)

The server was also very, very absent of transfems. I think there were maybe three of us total that I saw.

So, the incident that caused me to leave:

One of the (at the time) admins messaged in a chat asking if it was okay to identify as [transmisogynistic slur]. Said admin was transmasculine. A member (who is prominent in the MOGAI community) linked a Wiki page I wrote on the term, that explained extremely clearly with sources why [slur] should not be used by non-transfems. And was seemingly used to say “yes, it’s cool.”

I entered the conversation and politely asked if they actually read the article. They had.

I then said that, since they knew better—and since their first time fully deciding to use the term was after knowing better—using it would be extremely transmisogynistic.

They did not like that.

I was accused of erasing gay male history. They tried to convince me that I was wrong about the term’s origins. They refused to even at least censor the word on request if they were going to continue saying it. When I said I was the only transfem present and was being ignored which, bad look, [prominent community member] said I wasn’t. I… definitely was. I knew all the people involved were transmasc or transneutral, because I knew them personally. I was told I was doing “discourse” and ordered to stop speaking on the issue by (again, transmasc) mods.

So I muted the server for a few days, because that experience was fucking degrading.

When I finally looked back on it, i found [different transmasc admin] had pulled me in a ticket, and warned me for “biased articles” and “hateful language.”

The biased articles? [Slur]. Obviously. And one article on the black triangle that was at worst biased towards not erasing Roma experiences regarding the Holocaust, which had been up for months (and read by mods) with no prior issue. That article was from November. This issue was in January.

The hateful language? A message from the week before reading “cis people are cancelled, men are cancelled, transmascs are cancelled, this is so transmisogynistic” when explicitly speaking about transmisogny regarding [slur] a week prior. Which, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings by generalizing when calling out bigotry that you immediately turned around and perpetuated. Point proven for me, though. (If you “not all men me” on this I swear I will bite your legs off.)

I then found that [transmasc owner] had rewritten the entire page to almost entirely be about gay and trans men. They removed my transfem primary sources. They removed the definition’s source and didn’t bother sourcing a new one. They watered down every place I mentioned it was a transmisogynistic slur to downplay or fully erase the term’s history as one. The majority of historical context I provided was deleted without replacement. To be clear: [slur] is an equivalent slur to tr-p. Like. 100%. Which is part of what my sources discussed.

The only transfem sources they included? Naturally, transfems saying it was totally okay because “we all experience transphobia” and “the gay and transfem community are really close,” which is just… extremely ignorant of history and also definitely a minority opinion in the transfeminine community. The slur is transmisogynistic. Not transphobic, not homophobic, not femmephobic. It is a slur against specifically AMAB transfems & trans women.

So, naturally, I was fucking pissed.

I may have written a very long, very angry reply, as one does when implicitly accused of ‘tranmisandry’ for calling out transmisogyny by a transmasc. Essentially, it was pointing out the issues I said above. Then I left.

For a few days I did not unfriend the moderators. I never blocked them, and they can easily find my Discord and Tumblr. It’s been four months with no message or apology, and last I checked the page is still what the former owner "corrected" it to, so I don’t see how I could be expected to believe the wiki or people involved changed.

Currently, only two mods for the wiki were there when I was a member. Only one of said mods was involved in the issue. So I’ll give the new mods benefit of the doubt.

But yeah, you guys wonder why you don’t see a lot of transfems active in the MOGAI community? Why every wiki seems so devoid of us? This shit is why.

You all are only against your idea of transmisogyny, not committed to protecting transfems. You hate TERFs more than you love trans women.

You can’t stop talking about how TERF ideology is just as bad for transmascs when they literally want all transfems murdered—yeah, they hurt transmascs a lot, but they’re killing us. You can't stop trying to make transmisogyny about you. You refuse to analyze transmasc-specific bigotry through any lense other than comparison to transmisogyny.

If you get told to stop using one slur, get a little uncomfortable, feel like we’re being too mean? That “allyship” goes straight out of the window.

You’re more averse to speciesism than transmisogyny. You’re more upset by “kinnie” than by [slur].

Maybe treat us like you give a shit, and fucking listen. Then you might realize that, hey, this community isn’t just transmascs and enbies, and it never has been.

(on the slur censored in this post:)

[Slur], which some might have guessed, is femboy. While transmascs and gay men use it… a lot, now, it originated in the 90s as a sibling term for trap, but even more sexualized. As in, it literally came from the same discussion boards.

The main difference, and why the f-mboy is even more sexualized, is that since they’re not “deceiving” men, they can have very visible bulges. This is also why the term is extremely pornographic, reclaimed or not, and minors really need to stop throwing around.

Frankly, the whole queer men "reclaiming" it has made it way fucking worse. Conflating a slur calling trans women men with queer men is extremely fucking gross. "Reclaiming" other communities' trauma and erasing them from the discussion is gross. (And, no, "I wan't a term with history" isn't an excuse when that history is the sexualization, trafficking, and murder of trans women. Want historical terms? Scroll down.)

The movements formed around it are cool. Yay feminine men. But the use of the slur is still violently transphobic even if the culture is nice.

It feels a bit too late to stop completely at this point, but the least you (and the MOGAI Wiki) could do is not actively spread transmisogynistic misinformation on the word.

If you're looking for alternatives that don't fuck over transfems, consider:

Lavender boy - Much more history within the gay community, and more of a connection to queer men than f-mboy will ever had. Referring to a feminine queer man/masc. 1920s

Rosboy - A modern equivalent to the exact definition of f-mboy used by queer men/mascs, but this time the definition used is accurate to the term itself.

Tomgirl - Opposite of tomboy

Femme - Literally just femme. We've had femme the whole time. Just use it

Femme man, masc, guy, etc. - See femme

Make something up, or do your own research! Both are definitely options for anyone

Also, yes I have sources on all of this, I'm just not posting them publicly because I would be immediately outed if I did. If anyone involved/in the Discord wants to back me up without saying who I am or showing my user/nickname, feel free.