#// ...........its sexy for THEM. lmao
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When a typical virus attaches itself to its host, it duplicates, right? It spreads, essentially hijacking the host… What is so unusual here is that this virus, the infected hosts seem to be communicating.
Stranger Things season two (2017)
#been gatekeeping this one from you guys for a while bc ive been such an insane perfectionist there was always something i wanted to tweak#im gonna make two s2 gifsets bc i couldnt decide between embracing the blues or recoloring them to be more natural cuz both looked good#but ill make s3 and 4 first#my gifs#stranger things#strangerthingsedit#byler#tvstrangerthings#userallisyn#usergreta#st#hawkinslibrary#scifiedit#tvedit#dailyflicks#tvfilmsource#userbuckleys#filmedit#color set#<- thats my tag for my gifsets with alternating color schemes bc I LOVE DOING THAT ITS SO FUN!!!!!!#my dark gifset with a similar color scheme to this is still one of my favorite sets ive ever made#and of course the yj one is still my magnum opus that much is obvious considering its been my pinned post for like 10 months#i really should change that but ive still not made one that even comes close i LOVE that set its so sexy#i peaked so early i made that only like a month into gifmaking lol#ok im done yapping goodbye plz dont let this flop lmao
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I have this one "OC" that does not yet have a name that I've drawn several times for a couple years. I was thinking that if I tried making them in FFXIV that I'd use elezen as a base... but then I remembered what other race have their near exact hairstyle... and now I'm like damn... I played myself...
#idk if ill do anything with them but im saving the design. just in case.#perhaps the ffxiv setting is whats needed to gain an idea of who they are#as of now i havent even figured out their gender like are they male? female? both? its one of those but which? who knows. not me!#i think besides that i knew they were really tall. a magic user. and i was pondering on some italian name#... could work with the 13th i suppose hmmm.#anyway i have more character design ideas than i could ever hope to put to use! send help!!!#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#roegadyn#hellsguard#gpose#ffxiv screenshot#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#i almost tagged edit but these are completely untouched#i tried but then id have to do all to be happy and make them match LMAO#nabaath-areng#my screenshot#i took soooo many screens but i feel like the post is already bloated yells#so these shall suffice. but please DO know that theyre painfully photogenic#and that practically every screenshot turned out super sexy
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[ID: a drawing of pye from outer wilds, standing with her writing staff. she's wearing an orange nomai space suit without the helmet, and she has a light brown face with curly darker brown fur. end ID]
figuring out how i want to draw the nomai, so here's a pye since i am obsessed with her !!!
#outer wilds#pye#she was one of the easiest to start recognizing across text because she is involved in so many different things#but then i saw the scroll where she was calculating trajectories to the sun station and i Was in love immediately#and i love that the sun station was designed (by the game artists not by pye) to look more weapon-like than anything else the nomai built#as a way to show how it goes against their nature to do something so destructive and high risk#and since pye is the one kind of leading that and being so vocally For it it implies that she is also acting against nomai nature#but i dont think thats necessarily true!! a majority of the nomai agreed or else the idea would have been voted down#(even tho it did spark arguments)#and the oldest nomai recording we have access to is from escall making a split second decision to warp to an unknown place#just to follow a signal the group was curious about and it put them in danger!!! that killed people!!!#like i know its more about the potential damage to the solar system and the life there but#throwing caution to the wind for scientific discovery is very much nomai nature From What I Saw !!!#not that i am saying the game creators are wrong lmao but i mean like. i think it is against their nature AND so very exactly their nature#at the same time and thats why there Was so much debate about it#and i think pye is the embodiment of trying Everything Possible (and impossible) to find answers and learn#AND SHE IS SEXY FOR IT#ANYWAYS. clears throat#blow up that sun girl hashtag women in stem
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Swampcat but the fic I can’t fucking write but I’m throwing the idea to the tank of sharks— I need to like clean it up but this is a very barebones sketch lol— also I think it would be slay if Kremy has reading glasses (old man)
*I sit a round table full of papers, it’s frantic, it’s crazy (normal), I sound desperate as I describe the scenes to you*
Go under here for my crazy
First lil encounter to me where they start piquing each other’s interests… you picking up what I’m putting down?
Somethign somethign, they usually do their paperwork, accounting, tax fraud in complete silence. It’s both of their quiet time, it’s a welcomed bliss because the rest of the party is pretty loud. ADHD AUTISM BODY DOUBLING MOMENT OKAY!!!
Okay anyway, I think from what I picked up, they’re both pretty competent at handling money and numbers. (Good at math, Frost would be really into theoretical mathematicals while Kremy is more applied maths core. This is all headcanon lol). FUCK IM BAD AT SUMMARIZING SHIT BYT ANYWAYS—
Eventually during their wordless agreement, they begrudgingly let each other check each other’s work, looking for errors and proofreading shit. Mutual respect (THIS IS LIKE SEX TO ME). Blah blah blah, you’re prolly getting tired of me rambling BUT UR IN MY LION’S DEN AND YOU MUST SIT AND LISTEN TO ME!!! 🫵🫵🫵
Frost leans in as he looks over Kremy’s paperwork (this is the sexiest thing to me okay), the fur from his cheek rubs against Kremy’s scales of his neck. I think texture wise, it’s like autism heaven bruh. They’re each other’s stimboard. THAT’S THE DYNAMIC I LIKE MMM YUMMY. It just feels nice to be in each other’s presence, fur against scales, cool against warmth, thermodynamic equilibrium.
Have a Drabble meow ⬇️
————
There’s a tension in the air so thick he could’ve cut it with a knife, and the offer from Frost still rings in Kremy’s head. The lizardfolk almost felt dizzy even thinking about it.
“I can amend that”
Frost’s words repeated in his head, voice deeper than usual. It was such a vague offer but Kremy knew what laced those words, he saw the hunger in that tiger’s eyes. He might just take up his offer, the thrill of it made his spine shiver.
———-
Like imagine that, lien taht, that’s the flavor, the thrill in the anticipation of it! THEY’RE FREAKSSASA !!!!! FREAKSSSS
#my art#swampcat#my inane rambling#clay rambles#ouaw swampcat#swampcat ouaw#there’s a Drabble in there#but I ain’t a writer#Kremy X Frost#Frost X Kremy#Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost#Morning Frost x Kremy Lecroux#sighhhhh#they make me crazy#IM LIKE LAUGHING CUZ ITS JUST FOR LIKE A STUPIF REASON WHY— BUT THEY SLAY LMAO#me when I ship my two favorite characters and it somehow works#but also this also part of my like wordlessly in Witchlight polycule thing where Kremy just doesn’t know LOL— I JUST THINK THAT HILARIOUS#bro is just like “everyone is a macking it crazy style and sloppy style and no one wants to kiss me cuz im a freak and im evil#I think that’s the miscommunication I like— only when I do it (said in a very annoying way) ANGST HURT COMFORT HAPPY ENDING TYPE SHIT OKAY—#okay this is so goofy— I can’t take shit seriously becuase it feels like I’m putting these mofos under a Petri dish and examining them#this just started with the thought of what if doing math is sexy and cool— yeah SIGHHH IM SO LAME LMAO— my brainstorm got carried away lol#tw suggestive#ALSO#LONG POST
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this is the dynamic
#burnt out 20 something year-old in love with a morally questionable sexy old man. blissfully ignoring the red flags#and in fact encouraging some of them#aka the murders are part of him and i think i could fix him but also its kind of funny#david would rather TOP a TWINK than STOP and THINK!#oh also the pink stuff is remnant. i know it canonically looks like mercury but i guess i never shook the habit of making it pink lmao#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#artwork#drawing#illustration#artistsupport#self insert x canon#self insert#oc x canon#self ship art#william afton#do i tag this with fnaf yes or no... hmmmm#sure#fnaf
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OCTober, Day 4; Naveen Joseph (FHR PC)
UNDER-APPRECIATED OC: an oc you feel like you don’t talk about enough, or you haven’t fleshed out as much as you would like
"suddenly you're ripped into being alive. and life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my God you're alive and it's spectacular." —Joseph Campbell
Naveen is the least focused on/talked about from one of my least talked about current fandoms. Don't get me wrong; I really love Fallen Hero. However, I'm not particularly as hard-core as the average FHR fan. They're a at a level of consistent dedication and analysis that I LOVE to see, but I don't really always have in me [also my memory is shit, lol]. So, I always feel odd putting up my blorbos ... especially if it's some time since I've read the series, BUT don't get me twisted, I do love it and them! And my more commonly spoken about get some traction too! It's just this ... BASTARD, lol.
Maybe it's because they're the third. Maybe because I originally didn't play book 1 with them. Maybe it's because their character concept is a bit hard for me in certain ways -- while also being real easy for me in other ways -- so I feel disjointed when I try to grasp or discuss them. I don't know but I feel Naveen gets the short end of the stick.
Some things about Naveen:
Naveen really ain't shit. I mean Naveen IS the shit. They're the richest of my steps and has a clearer, more self-focused goal of the three. They're least likely to be deterred [until .... dun dun dun] of the lot. I think it is because their desire is very straight-forward and doesn't really hinge on the Rangers or their approval [or even disapproval!]. It certainly isn't twisted up in morality, right?
Their desire is freedom. Money and success are avenues to that. Sure they DO love luxury and yes they DO love art [art thief bg what's up!]. However, their goal is freedom from their past, freedom from connections that would weigh them down [bye Ortega!], freedom to be who and what they want to be. I think of my lot Naveen is the one who is most alive -- or most wants to BE alive. They want to live life as and believe they are a Real BoyTM more than they others do.
c/ping this here, the famed want. need. dread. meme: Naveen Joseph (FHR): want: it’s not weakness to love him. he loves you too | need: you’re making it. and you will be free. | dread: there’s no escape.
Freedom also includes the freedom to make the world their oyster ;-D. As Marina stated: "All I ever wanted was the world."
Some villain/hero stuff about Nav: Their villain name is Starling (... nobody's darling). They're a streetwise tactician. Their puppet name is Amelie (and yes that's on purpose!). Their highest trait is their arrogance first and then their ruthlessness.
SOMEHOW! They fell for Daniel. Despite themself! It was good. Until it wasn't.
They/them, nonbinary. Quirky streetwear, fond of the facial piercings.
And that's that!
Oh, and the hands photo is by Elijah Grimm on Unsplash.
#bweirdoctober#oc-tober#oc tober#insight: naveen joseph#naveen x daniel#i didn't talk much about them but the hands is them. there is a picture of two hands reaching in their tag hahahaha#what does naveen love more? hehehe lmao ahhhh#naveen @ daniel: Your so annoying. . Unfortunately in a kinda sexy way.#flystep#grapes chars#meet my ocs#grapecase moodboards#oc: naveen joseph#does this make sense? idk im sleepy but i wanted to do this orelse i wouldnt have tiiiiime#umm#sidestep#ookay bye#... this moodboard really couldve been better#sorry naveen#moodboard#it's this or nothing#its so ugly. im regret#sobs
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sobbing over this new chase atlantic album!!!!!!!!!!!!
#she says as she’s on the first fucking song LMFAOOOOOO#favela is just so good already like what a great opener#fucking banger man#god i sound like a frat boy LMAO#omg i’m so in love with it already tho#i loved beauty in death but it was SO depressing#like absolute art of course but i could only listen to it at very specific times or else it would make me SO sad#it’s imbued with a ton of emotion#and that makes sense given when they wrote it and when it was released#so its really fun to see them return to music that’s a little more fun and a little lighter#god there truly is no one in the industry doing it like them#also i’ve got such a raging crush on mitchel cave its actually fucking insane#i just think he’s so talented and like#talent is the sexiest thing to me ever ever ever#also his voice is sexy and as u all KNOW i’ve also got a fucking RAGING voice kink#anyway <3 already in love#can’t wait to hear the rest!!!!!#clari chatters
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big fan of this genre of character
#you're like those are frogs#maybe.#but i also like when herps and bugs are drawn with these kind of sensibilities. hard to explain#i think i like frogs in particular bc they are funny and difficult to anthropomorphize#i don't like a lot of furry stuff bc its like. DESPERATELY sexy. e-thot behavior#i like the frogs in naruto bc they are in the yakuza#WAIT HOLD ON I FORGOT ABOUT THE TURTLES lemme add them in lmao
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all i said was "what if magolor with a gun" and my mutuals rushed in with headcanons.....what a beautiful world....(taking notes)
#look them up its really fun#the parentheses say (the sexy looking one) (the chunky eccentric one) (the one that suits him the most in the world) lmao#also the text after marx is 'he can swing around a gatling gun'#tysm すみそあえ(mora1249)さん and 折り紙(07283186k)さん........#btw. grabs you by the collar. if you have a twitter. go follow them both#sphere.txt#media.orb#IDK ANYTHING ABOUT GUNS (other than like. ak47) pls tell me if i wrote smth down wrong#gikabi#<-initially was thinking like. orb magolor with a shotgun but it ended up being gijinka related so
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🖤 for misa about light ??
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
#answered.#dynamic; misa & light.#brb kms#italics mean sometimes !! the present is all answered in the context for the on the run / survival au !!#anyway she ............. loves that man. SO MUCH#despite everything#like. especially after That she feels shell never be pretty enough tall enough kind enough compassionate enough smart enough or sexy enough#even though logically she KNOWS she's the shit#like she already struggles to forge genuinely meaningful connections w/ people especially w/ bpd#i genuinely think even if she's the second kira she'd try to use her vast fame & platform for humanitarian causes#& i think she'd try to influence light to do the same w/ her in the hopes of creating that new world light always wanted#im personally of the belief that despite how oof the beginning of their relationship was that there WAS some tenderness there#bc like im sorry u dont go through SIX YEARS of being w/ sb & not have any affection for sb thats just not how it works lmao#& we talked about them a fuckton in dms already on how eventually in this au they slowly start to get closer after losing everything#& its rly sweet & like really fucking sad at the same time. bc like. it took That Long for him to finally recognize her worth & how she's.#really the only one who truly genuinely unconditionally loved him & he's like. astonished by that. & it took him literally almost dying#& especially after That reveal like they get a lot closer#but the fact that she literally dies not longer after him literally on the exact same day as him tells you everything you need to know#she loved that man SO MUCH. they're each other's red thread of fate but where it digs into the hands like red barbed wire & bleeds.#anyway they make me so fucking feral#prodigum
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY LOOK SO GOOD
#i try not to freak out a lot over them here because its sooo much to type#but BUT#Jeongin DESTROYING A MUSEUM?? saying he's i.n in that voice of his??#changbin with A BASEBALL BAT K*LL ME NOW#han han han han han han han#with EYEBROW PIERCING AND THAT SHIRT AND HIS VOICE SCREECHING#hyunjin and felix's face i DIED.#hyunjin's love for painting being included in the teaser has me softttt#chan CHAN CHAN CHANNNN he's actually illegal in that mask#literally looks like a sexy game character im DED#minho's im cute agenda strong as always and he IS but its funny that he does it when he looks extremely sexy LMFAO#seungmin bathing in popcorn is so random and he has such an old school bad boy hair in that shot?? what's he upto what's my lil guy doin??#felix popping in at the start ahh he's a cat fr lmao but also his pretty face popping up is what reminded me OH 5STAR AS IN 5STAR MICHELIN#N THEN I STARTED SCREECHING#yes self referencing kings we stan so hard#stray kids#skz thoughts#five-star
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You still beefing with loewe is so funny, please never change.
I wont 😇
#i like how you said still as if this is a long time thing#but what you dont know is back in the day i was obsessed with kstew and even tho that obsession chilled#I still to this very day find time to shit talk chanel bc she got an ambassadorship with chanel and her outfits immediately became 1000#times more boring (theyve actually finally been slightly more gay and sexy and fun lately tho. credit where its due i guess.#took em a decade. like literally)#like I do not give a fuck about old money european fashion houses- if they put my lil guy in shit clothes than i will say so#i owe them nothin so like lmao#thanks for the ask 💌
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you know that thing where like men will wear dresses or be feminine for a gimmick or as a trend etc which is all well and good but then theres people who can only handle seeing a man in a dress as a gimmick or as like a Thing where it's not casual or an everyday thing like they can only handle it when its specifically for a Bit bc they could never take a man just casually in a dress as anything casual, it'd be an affront to them for you to think a man in a dress can be anything but a gimmick so if you try to do it casually you're insane, and if you do it as a bit you are agreeing with them (youre not but they think you are). anyway this is how people are with genderfluid characters they can never just exist and casually be genderfluid they Have to be some sort of shapeshifting or weird over the top mystical being and it has to be a gimmick or it has to fit their persona or something for you to even consider them genderfluid because nobody could possibly casually be that without it being some sort of set piece for a punchline. how often do u see people even hc characters as genderfluid just cus. yknow.
#i literally dont know why im thinking about this lmao#anyway hcing geto and madara as genderfluid gives me immense joy bc they have such fucking drama going on#me saying theyre genderfluid and it being a drop in a bucket compared to the other shit theyre doing . its so good#anyway i dont know i think about it and its a feeling of just very like dry laugh haha i love genderfluid rep in media amiright .#if i kin a character theyre genderfluid sorry .#if i kin them theyre aroace too . rip to u#ZHONGLI zhongli is my baby babygirl for being so genderfluid in canon and its such tiny lore that nobody fucking talks ab it#so then i get to keep it in my heart#thats the other thing to actually every genderfluid mf is like omg theyre so mysterious and sexy#wow youre a girl ... and then youre a BOY .. ..#thats such a thing actually ive seen it mildly here n there but its like omg theyre hot ... BOTH WAYS ...#fuck that i loveu zhongli my geriatric old bitch#i need to draw him more ill b real i love madara but im sick of drawing his hair i need a new old man to draw#enter zhongli#jk i need to likeeee . make my face hc for him bc i have a specific way i draw madaras face everytime#so i can reference my old art and draw him real easy#not zhongli tho !! i draw him 4 million different ways and it makes me mad#im tangenting anyway bye#the gamer speaks uwu#genderfluid#DONT FUCKING START DISCOURSE AB THIS WITH ME BTW I DONT HAVE TIME TO ARGUE ON FUCKING TUMBLR
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god i know that complaining abt fic which most of you haven't read, and which i won't, for politeness' sake, identify in this post, is a great way to come across as both dickish and boring—
but i've been rereading a very long, very satisfyingly plotty series that's a fandom darling and the thing is, when you read like 400k of an author's work at once it really starts to become painfully apparent what their priorities are, by which i mean two things:
holy shit they're obsessed with 'what if strong powerful men who could hurt you didn't (but did hurt Bad Guys) (and it was sexy of them),' which leads into
holy shit they do not appear to have thought through the implications of saying 'i will have my heroes take over the same power structures that have enabled abuse, make no real changes to those structures other than swapping out the leadership, and then claim that everything is wonderful now bc Good Men Are In Charge'??
like. i don't necessarily need every passing fantasy to present me with a coherent, revolutionary system of politics and ethics—sometimes things are just fun and sexy and not especially Examined and that's fine!—but by the time someone's written literally almost half a million words, and done a lot of worldbuilding while they were at it, i am going to start squinting if they seem to think a Good Man can e.g. become an emperor by killing off the leadership of multiple countries and installing puppet kings loyal to him and still remain a Good Man, even if the justification was that the original leadership was maltreating its citizens and deserved to be extrajudicially executed. like. this shit was a bad, autocratic move when the US did it in real life and it's still bad now that you're having our mutual blorbo do it in fiction! and that's not even getting into the whole thing where like. they've got servants who the Good Man and his friends ""treat well"" but who very much remain second-class citizens in terms of how the story actually frames them and their concerns. [this was also a huge issue i had with foz m*adows' most recent book—everyone wants to write about fantasy nobles but they also want to make them good people and it's like. honestly i think it might be better to get comfortable writing about flawed people, but also—if your aristos aren't treating their servants like equals and your text isn't either, you haven't actually cracked the Moral Aristo paradox, sorry!] like, there's nothing that says your story has to depict a fully Healed World, nor should there be! but it's troubling if you seem to be convinced you've written one (and have your wide-eyed love interests constantly marveling at it!) when you very patently haven't.
#in all honesty—i've framed a lot of this as political/ethical critique‚ and like‚ it IS‚ but also—#i'm just really frustrated because like. the whole 'what if people were shockingly nice to you' thing feels like it SHOULD be better for me#but in actual fact i find myself totally turning up my nose at it and i can't totally work out why#i mean i guess part of it is that this author's Traumatized Love Interests are always really innocent victims#which i can't identify with emotionally because i feel like a piece of shit#so i need a story that's more like 'person who's been told they were a monster for so long they believe it gets convinced they aren't'#'(lovingly and sexily)'#but also i think a lot of it just. isn't subtle enough. like i need to have to put pieces together so i'm implicated in my own catharsis#being constantly told 'wow it's so amazing i'm not being abused by this person who COULD abuse me!! that's so sexy of them!'#is just. not doing it for me. like. 'not abusive' is not actually sexy to me‚ unfortunately. i need some character traits.#and unfortunately the ones this author tosses in for flavor ALSO don't convince me#because they never actually manifest in the story. it's like 'oh this character is so prickly—but never actually offends the LI.'#'oh this other character is so gruff—but the LI understands that about them from day one and doesn't take it personally.'#like. if the hero's 'flaws' don't actually cause any problems—they aren't flaws#anyway. i've definitely complained about this exact series multiple times on here at this point#but that's the thing—it's compelling enough i keep going back to it‚ so i get extra-frustrated by its flaws#whereas like. there's a lot of stuff that's much worse that i've been much less frustrated by#because i never had any particular hopes for it#anyway. thx for yr patience in this fully self-inflicted Trying Time‚ lmao#i guess this can get filed under#bookblogging
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I’m just curious, I’ve seen you mention Mormons a couple times (something about Nia too that I forgot) and I’m curious if you’re like, post/ex Mormon or Mormon-adjacent or something? Bc I am… idk it’s complicated lmao spiritually/mentally out, but physically halfway in, I guess? So I was just wondering, hope you don’t mind!
Feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable
ex mormon baybee!!!!!!!! baptised at eight & everything
long story somewhat short is that me & my immedeate family left the church when i was like 12 when my dad came out as gay, but i personally specifically didnt go to church much before that bc my Neurodivergencies made it hard so my parents basically gave up on trying to wrangle me every time id have a meltdown about it (long and boring + uncomfortable clothes i hate = disaster for the undiagnosed adhd trans egg and his parents) so its not like i was too indocternated in the church & all in all i came out surprisingly (but not completely) unscathed. i hear stuff from when my parents were younger and im like "fucking WHAT" like all of the time
but like it was still a big enough thing in my life for me to hc characters (modern!Nia) or see paralells in media (the church of Helios) or even write my own characters as ex-mormon (HWU!Avalon)
so me mentioning mormonism is kinda like 50/50 dunking on the old religion / feeling empathy for ppl that are stuck in a place that is not right for them. maybe more like 40/60, it really depends on what im talking about
#i do *occasionally* still do church stuff but its mostly limited to tuning out the livestream of the sacrement meetings#that my granpa & aunt play for my granma while theyre actually at church & then skedaddling it outta there when the relief society shows up#but thats Only when im visting my grandparents & we live a few states away so its not that often#(im gonna be honest i dont think my granma gives a shit about listening to the service shes mostly deaf)#(+ my mom said she pretends to fall asleep so the relief society ladies will leave faster)#(sometimes it works sometimes they leave my granma's room and start talking to Us)#(i think one of them might have seen a sexy guy image over my shoulder while i was scrolling tumblr once)#(i wasnt sitting in a way to intentionally give her a peek but my mom said shes kinda nosy & she left pretty quickly after that lol lmao)#(it wasnt even that scandelous he was just in a sexy outfit)
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