#/ also I haven't found useful tw for this post so if you need me to add a warning let me know

[aro-pokeverse]

[ <PREV ] [ NEXT> ]

WARNING: This post mentions animal testing.

"So, where I do start, so, it happened when my buddy came to the P2 Laboratory. I’ll show you an exclusive, hopefully RotoTube won’t block this video. Just to warn, this video might shock you."

2 weeks earlier. Location: P2 Laboratory, Route 17.

"Day 47. After a couple of weeks and tests of a few Rattata, we finally achieved the result. Now it’s time to test it on a Pokémon that isn’t a rodent. And we have a volunteer for this - Nate and his shiny Dewott, Walt."

"H-hey, are you s-sure if it’s safe…?"

"Don’t worry, one shot of this and…"

"WAIT, SHOT, ARE YOU CRAZY??? I DON”T KNOW IF HE’LL SURVIVE…"

"You don’t understand, I’ll do a one shot to…"

"I EXACTLY UNDERSTAND!!! PLEASE STOP HURTING MY FRIEND!"

"W-wott…"

"WALT, HANG ON, I’LL HELP YOU…"

"Stop it, you make it worse. Now I need to..."

Colress raises his syringe.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

With the teary face Nate prevents Colress from doing his job. A syringe and pill drop to the floor. Colress gets really angry at Nate.

"THAT’S IT! GUARDS! SEIZE HIM AWAY!"

The security guards who used to be former Plasma Grunts taking Nate away.

"JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, COLRESS! YOU SON OF A-"

Thud.

"Well, I think it’s time. Today you might be a normal Pokémon, but tomorrow, you’ll be something else…"

The video stops here.

"And that’s what happened. But don’t worry, there’s a good end to this story."

Video recovery is still ongoing...

[neevblanc]

„curious” ♡

a/n —hey all! hope ur doin' well, drink water if you haven't! have this as a treat. it's 2k and some more but i cant be bothered to check for specifics. (p.s sorry if the tarot aspects of this are wonky! i did my best to research and i pulled reference from my sister's experience with tarot cards/reading.)

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— 22/ada dazai, flirting?, pre-slash, don't question why reader's given a key, reader works under ango but he's also they're dad figure, it's a whole thing, mentions of sskk though not explicitly platonic or romantic, take that as you wish, dazai's infuriating habit of burying feelings and then one day he'll die

CW/TW— dazai. (/j, none i can think of.)

note — reader's ability in this is based on one that my friend chose for our self-ship au. "Teacher of Truth by Saneatsu Mushanokoji: The user can employ tarot cards to gain insight into the past, current, and possible future situations. The user needs to know what each of the cards mean in order to properly interpret what they say." it's from a post on tumblr, but I couldn't find it for the life of me! i'll credit if i can. anyway, it's been tweaked a little so i'm here to explain. in this, reader can choose to use their ability during a reading or not, but the tarot cards are always personal to them. people they know will sometimes show in the cards if they're important to them.

The next time Dazai sees you, it’s well before the ADA opens for the day. He’d admittedly had a rough night—sleep evaded him like always, and he hadn’t had dinner because of his own laziness. His futon was impossibly comfy. How was he meant to part with its loving warmth?

The Door to the agency creaks open, the sound not unlike the groan of the cafe floorboards only steps away. One of Dazai’s favorite activities was purposely seeking out the creaky floorboards and dancing on them so loud Kunikida would have to berate him, of course. He was intimately familiar with the annoying sounds this old building could make.

The office is darker than during working hours, but he notices the meager amount of lights still switched on. Distantly, he knows Kunikida would’ve blown a gasket about the electric bill if he had found them still on. He takes a step into the room-

Something rustles. Downstairs, an old radio plays a song he does not recognize. Pigeons flutter and coo from outside the window.

Somebody was in the agency, and had it been any of his fellow detectives, he’d have known.

“Hmmm, what’s this,” he mutters absently, volume low enough to alert whoever it was had decided to trespass.

”Dazai-san?” a soft voice calls, and Dazai pauses for a moment. A short, hollow sound follows—cards shuffling. He bites the inside of his cheek. How curious.

”Last I checked, you don’t clock in with the rest of us measly agents. Surely Ango’s fuming by now?” He hums, stepping into view of you. you’re sat at Atsushi’s desk, bag perched on top of Atsushi’s empty report trays. Dazai almost smirks at the sight— silly Atsushi, always rushing to complete everything in a timely manner. One day, he’d get him to turn them in later, hopefully months later- like he did.

”Hm, no. I clocked in earlier, but Ango wanted me over here early. Something about a mission I have to hand over to Fukuzawa-dono. I got a key from him last time, so I just let myself in.” you explained. Dazai pulled his own chair out and collapsed into it, peering down at what your hands were busying themselves with.

He realizes they’re tarot cards. Thick and sturdy under your fingers, you set them up neatly in front of yourself. The backs are a matte purple, decorated with silver details that glint as the sunrise light hits them for just a fraction of a second. The illustrations seem to flicker with movement, almost like snapshots of time shifting through an old camera, frame after frame.

”What’s got you so busy?” he asks, exaggeratingly leaning over to look at the cards. You laugh and smile, expression wobbly. He notes the change. You briefly shake out the bracelet laying on your wrist, almost nervously. You lay the last card on the desk’s surface. Atsushi’s cute cat clock ticks from where it’s placed near his report trays.

“I do readings for the day early in the morning, just in case. Sometimes, I don’t even use my ability.” You explain, keeping your voice low so as not to break the morning peace. Dazai glances at the cat clock. Soon, the secretaries and Kunikida will clock in and begin their work day. He focuses back on you and grins, intrigued.

“Anxious, then? I guess the ability to see the future will do that to ‘ya.” Dazai sighed, crossing his legs and resting his chin on his hand. He was content to watch you finish setting the cards down in a formation he admittedly did not understand.

” What does that one mean?” he says, pointing to one of the cards. Its flickering surface shows a woman with mint-colored hair pulled up into a bun. Behind her, there’s a black mass, and she seems to be standing in a graveyard. There are two Xs at the top of the card. You redirect your attention to the card he’s hovering his finger over and smile.

”That’s Judgment—renewal, reflection, awakening, or reckoning. For a personal reading, it would mean going through a period of self-evaluation or maybe even trying to understand the people around you and your situation more.” You explain, seemingly done with the spread and setting down the other cards nearby. Dazai purses his lips.

”Sounds gloomy. Lame!” He huffs, upset by his choice. you gasp and narrow your eyes.

”Don’t call them lame! You’ll piss them off, Dazai.” You hiss, smacking him on the arm. Dazai grins and leans closer, smile growing coy.

”Really now? And how exactly does one do that?” Dazai prods. You stick your tongue out and cross your arms.

“Not telling. Now shut up and let me do my reading.” You grumble, eyes flicking over the cards. Dazai whines and throws himself forward, almost shoving you off of Atsushi’s chair.

”Dude!” You yelp, hands scrambling to grasp his coat as he rights himself. Dazai grabs you by the shoulders and shakes, intent on being the biggest possible nuisance.

”That’s boring! Do your reading laterrrr; it won’t matter, right? Ne- do a reading for me! I wanna know my future,” He begs, grinning. You blink and scowl, pushing him away.

”First off, it would matter. Doing a reading later would be a completely different outcome. Just wait. All I have to do is interpret these. I’ll do yours after.” You grumble, adjusting their sleeves and settling back into the chair. Dazai harrumphs but settles into his own chair to watch you silently read the cards.

You focus back on the cards, and Dazai settles himself by watching you idly. You’re dressed in what you always wear to work, but it’s casual enough to know doubt have been breaking the dress code had you not been working under Ango for so long.  There’s a small scrunch to your nose as you focus on your task, and Dazai can spot how you run your tongue over your teeth in thought. Dazai looks away pointedly. Taking a few breaths, he forcibly clears his mind. How odd.

”Okay, done.” You hum, straightening and starting to pick up the cards. He shifts so his whole body is faced toward you. You take gentle care of the cards, putting them back into the deck.

”Why do they flicker like that? You aren’t using your ability,” he asks, curious about the shifting images on the cards. You shrug.

”Don’t know. It happens no matter what deck I use, though I prefer using this one. The images just shift into the same ones most of the time, though some have changed over time.” You explain, shuffling the cards. Dazai reaches out and hovers over your hand before poking the back of it gently. You let him despite knowing the outcome.

The images on the cards still lying on the table flicker, completely uninterrupted, even as Dazai feels the shiver of his ability eating away at yours. He hums and pulls away. He hadn’t been paying attention when he jostled you earlier, but you were right- they were unaffected.

”Strange, but not unheard of. Some ability effects aren’t considered active enough for my ability to erase.” Dazai says, allowing you to continue. you finish and present him with the deck, pulling away when he goes to take them.

”Don’t be mean to them. They’ll be mean to you. You can’t even think anything negative; they’ll know. You’re gonna cut the deck in 3, okay? We’ll do a simple reading.” you explain, and only once Dazai agrees (crosses his heart and hopes to die!) is he gently handed the cards.

”What do you want to read? We can focus on love, or money, or your career, things like that.” You say. Dazai ponders for a moment before sniffing, mouth settled into a pompous pout.

”I want to know if someone will finally be interested in a double suicide with me.” He huffs. You scoff.

”You’re insane. Okay, so love. Think about that while you cut them.” You nod, giving him the go-ahead. He runs his fingers over the well-loved edges and slots his thumbs through the deck where it feels right, setting the individual cuts down on the desk before them. He tries to take it as seriously as possible, though thinking about love has always made him squirm and itch beneath his skin.

You reach over once he’s done and clear your throat, carefully picking the top cards on each deck and laying them out in front of him. On the left, the first card flipped is a wheel, seemingly in the sky and surrounded by clouds. The clouds float by calmly, though Dazai can’t find anything particularly personal to you the way some of the other cards would show.

It’s made a little more difficult considering the card’s orientation- upside down.

You hum at it before moving on. The card in the middle is revealed, and this one piques his interest. He grins a little at the image. Two figures hold goblets in their hands, strings of power rising from the cups and meeting above their heads to form a Yin and Yang sign. The figures are startingly familiar- one dark-haired, the other light-haired. Accents in their hair match each other, silver and black clashing and melding nicely. This one’s facing right-side up. The image flickers to show the energy that swirls around, occasionally circling their respective holders.

The last one flicks onto the wooden desk with a hollow sound. The image is soft, not unlike the first one with the blue sky. A sun takes up the upper half, rays pronounced against the sky. Ttheire’s a little kid in the illustration, their beaming face scrunched up in happiness. There’s a flag clutched in one hand, with the other gripping onto the mane of the white horse they’re perched upon. Sunflowers frame them, peaking over the illustrated garden wall behind them.

It’s an endlessly endearing picture, and from the smile, he has a feeling he knows who it is. Like the last one, it’s right-side up.

You settle your chin against your palm, leaning on the table with a hum.

”That’s….a really nice reading, actually.” You move to point at the cards. Dazai sits patiently with his hands on his lap. Nothing more fascinating than seeing someone in their element, he supposed.

”That first one is The Wheel of Fortune. Upside down, it’s a little darker. It represents your past,” you pause, looking at him for a moment. “I think for you, it’s focused on the feeling of helplessness—lack of power or control…like you had love but couldn’t control how and when you lost it,” you say, your voice soft. Dazai fights to ignore the discomfort building in his throat.

”Well, what can I say? My dark past haunts me,” he bemoans, and you huff a soft laugh. You move on to the next card- the cups. You look a little embarrassed by this one.

”This one is the present. Two cups represent…well, partnership. More specifically, the realization of a new partnership. This one can be pretty romantic. I guess you’ve got something to look forward to soon,” you say, pointedly ignoring the images of his two kohais. He grins, sparing you of the teasing. He didn’t know how well you even knew Akutagawa- but it was amusing to see everyone could see what those two denied vehemently.

”The last one is the future. You got The Sun, which is actually really sweet.” Through your embarrassment, Dazai watches a sweet smile grow on your face. He matches it easily.

“It means joy and success, for you in particular. It means…whatever or whoever your two cups is for, you’ll be very happy together.” You say, and Dazai sighs wistfully.

”Maybe someone will finally want to commit suicide with me! This news might keep me alive a day longer just yet,” Dazai coos. You groan and take a deep breath, seemingly ignoring him as you duck your head down and then start to put the cards back.

”You better hope you didn’t piss this deck off, Dazai.” you huff, glaring. Dazai pouts, cradling his face in his hands.

“What?! I followed all your rules; I would never,” he whines. You flip him off and busily tuck the cards into a soft leather pouch. He lets his hands drop and watches for a moment.

”Thanks for the reading,” Dazai says, his voice back to normal. You glance at him and smile.

”Yeah, no problem. It’s nice to read without my ability once in a while,” you admit, expression soft. He grins. Something stirs in his chest.

”You can read me whenever you want, lovely.” He purrs jokingly. You startle, flushing. You glare and kick him with your foot.

”Don’t say shit like that,” you mutter. Dazai whines out a laugh, having settled on teasing you until he could see the smoke coming out your ears.

Before he could continue, the door creaks open, and the overhead lights flick on. Multiple people come shuffling in, and Dazai can hear Kunikida conversing lowly with Fukuzawa. The secretaries also file in, chattering contently amongst themselves. Fukuzawa and Kunkida pause only to greet them both. you wave politely, and Dazai salutes them both.

you blink your eyes to adjust to the light now flooding the room. Dazai huffs and stands with a groan.

”Alright, I’ve got five minutes to get out of here. You’ll be going in to see Shachou, right?” He asks, stretching. you stand and nod, giving him a look.

”Where are you going?” you ask, picking up your bag. He groans at the way his back pops as he rights himself from his stretching.

”Home. I only came here 'cause I was bored. But in the long run, it’ll be a lot funnier if Kunikida’s mad all morning when I don’t show up~” He snickers. you shake your head, a smile pulling at your mouth.

“You’re so lame. See you, then.” You sighed, heading down the hall Kunikida and Fukuzawa had disappeared down.

”And yet you love me. ‘Till we meet again,” he calls, pointedly ignoring the yell you let out.

”Whatever!” you yelped, and Dazai let the agency door click closed behind him.

He grins. Curious indeed.

note — can you tell i love brothers! atsushi and dazai? also, the woman in Judgement is Mizuki Tsujimura, who I headcanon is pretty good friends with reader in this one. :) please let me know if there are any pronoun inconsistencies! this was originally written with she/her pronouns, and i did my best to fix it to match the gender neutral style i like to use for tumblr stuffs.

©neevblanc 2024 // do not plagiarize or repost

[cultofcreatures]

My Top 15 Vaporwave Horror Movies

I thought I would put together a list of vaporwave/dreamcore/liminal aesthetic horror movies that I find to feel outside of time and space. That's sort of my vibe here on tumblr, and I also like the mantra of "if there's something you want to see that no one has made yet, make it yourself." These are films that I personally love, and the list not meant to be definitive. Remember also that art is subjective. I hope someone out there finds at least one film they want to add to their watchlist! It's been a minute since I've seen some of them, so let me know if I need to correct something.

15. Mandy (2018)

I wish I could add pictures for all of these entries, but I can still only add 10 pictures to a post blah. It's such a shame because I wanted to show off that gorgeous aesthetics of all these films. Oh well. This is a revenge flick about a cult kidnapping Nick Cage's girlfriend and him losing his marbles about it. Definitely recommend if you're the mood for vibes and/or Nick Cage NickCageing.

TW: violence, blood, fire

14. Come True (2020)

This is a haunting, fantastic vibes movie. It feels so otherworldly. It's about a homeless young person participating in a sleep study to be able to safely get some sleep. It would be an almost perfect film if it weren't for the just garbage ending. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, just skip the last 5 minutes, and take it for what the rest of the film is: beautiful.

13. Braid (2018)

This film follows a couple of young drug dealers on the run from their supplier crashing at a mentally unwell friend's house. The catch is they have to play along with their host's unhinged "game" while they hide out. Not gonna lie, this film is trippy af and definitely not for everyone. I can guarantee that no matter what, it is a ride.

TW: heavy drug use, blood

12. Perfect Blue (1997)

A pop star retires to become a full-time actor, which angers some of her fans. Her sense of reality becomes warped when one obsessive fan begins to stalk her. I don't love some of the turns this movie takes when it comes to mental health, but it's hard to deny this film is classic that has stunning animation.

TW: negative depictions of mental disorders, violence, blood

11. Skinamarink (2022)

This controversial found footage movie is sort of hard to describe because it's so otherworldly. Basically, two kids wake up one night to find their dad and all of their doors and windows are missing. Everything about this nostalgic yet terrifying film is vibes and aesthetic: liminal, vaporwave, voidcore, dreamcore, you name it. It feels like a fever dream, and it's a nightmarish journey you won't soon forget, for better or worse.

10. Vivarium (2019)

A couple are looking for a home to share. They follow a strange realtor to an even stranger labyrinthine neighborhood that seems to have no escape. If you're into liminal spaces, this film will definitely scratch that itch for you.

9. Revenge (2017)

This is a r*pe revenge tale that has absolutely beautiful scenery and cinematography. I love the sweeping liminal landscapes and vibrant vaporwave colors. It's a standard plot as far as the genre goes, but it's directed by a woman, so it has a different angle that I find to be superior to most films of the genre.

TW: violence, gore, SA, blood

8. Don't Worry Darling (2022)

A 1950s housewife begins to suspect that something about her utopian community is not what it seems. This film seems to be a bit controversial, too, for some reason. Whatever the case may be, I adore the liminality and dreamy feel of this film. You really get a sense that this world is outside of time and space.

7. It Follows (2014)

This film is straight up about a sexually transmitted curse. Jay sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time, and then finds out she must outpace this demon that can take the shape of anyone forever lest it kill her, or she must pass the curse on to someone else. The shots in this film are to die for. Especially for connoisseurs of the liminal, vaporwave, and dreamcore. Highly recommend for the visuals and music alone.

TW: gore, blood

6. House (1977)

Gorgeous decides to stay with her aunt to hopefully get closer with a group of six of her friends. The girls come to find her aunt's house is more than meets the eye. The visuals and absurdity are what make this movie. It's a classic for a reason.

TW: cartoon gore

5. Akira (1988)

Tetsuo gains psychic abilities via a secret military project and becomes mad with power. It's up to his friends and a small group of psychics to stop him. This is another classic anime. Its 1980s futuristic mentality really lends itself to the vaporwave atmosphere of the cityscape. I highly recommend this classic if you haven't seen it.

TW: violence, body horror

4. Censor (2021)

Enid is a serious film censor with a shrouded past that includes her long-missing sister. She watches a film that bears eerie resemblance to her vague childhood memories that begin to take hold of her as tries to piece them together. I don't think I'm totally clear on when this film takes place, which is what I love about it. It has a spooky surreal quality that will both draw you in and unsettle you.

TW: violence, blood

3. She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Amy is convinced she is going to die tomorrow. Her friend Jane comes by to comfort her, and then becomes consumed by the thought she will die tomorrow as well. This film is as strange as it is beautiful. It will either leave you in tears or confused af or both.

TW: blood

2. The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse is a very young, gifted model who is new in town (probably LA). She quickly signs with an agent and begins getting gigs, breeding the contempt of the established models around her. This is probably one of the most visually appealing films I've ever seen. The music is on point. The low key acting is a vibe. I just adore this film. 10/10, highly recommend.

TW: gore, blood

1. The Platform (2019)

A man wakes up in a prison that is an indescribable liminal pit where there are a seemingly never-ending number of levels. A platform full of food is lowered through each level once a day, and everyone on the lower levels must fight to survive. This film is just so utterly anticapitalist and gorgeous that I can't help but sing its praises. I think everyone should watch this movie at least once. It is horrifying yet eye-opening. Certainly one of my favorite films of all time.

TW: gore, violence, blood

Thank you for reading my list! Like I said, I wanted to make a list like this because I couldn't find one when I went looking. I hope you found something to add to your watchlist! I tried to include some of the big TWs for these movies, but they're far from complete lists. So please check websites like doesthedogdie.com for more complete TW lists if you have any concerns. Make decisions that are right for you. Thanks again, and have a happy and safe new year! xx

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

Life update and why I haven't been too active over these past few months. I'm not leaving. Please just be patient with me

Tw: Death, drug addiction, grieving,

Hey guys, I wanted to come on here and be completely honest with all of you. I haven't been the most active as I have been in the past. Truth be told, my mental health is not the best. My uncle has been in hospice care for stomach cancer, and yesterday, seeing him in that condition put me in a bad spot.

It's hard to see someone who helped take care of you barely able to swallow food is traumatizing. He doesn't have much time with us, and by that, I mean it could be hours or days until we say, "See you later" to him. I just lost my grandpa only a couple of years ago to a brain tumor. I never even processed his death. I'm not good with grieving. I become numb and self isolate. My little cousin passed away in a car accident. My aunt just a few years before died from a drunk driver. Basically, I've had lots of deaths and no time to even grieve properly (if that even is a thing)

On top of grief, my dad has been battling drug addiction. He's been in and out of jail at least 3 separate times since the summer. I've tried to help him. He just doesn't want it right now. He's lost, and so am I.

I'm not coming on here to gain sympathy. I just wanted you all to know that if you're dealing with shit you're not alone.

While this fandom has been very toxic lately. It's saved me in so many ways. I found my love of writing, and most of the time, that's where I go to escape. I know I may post a lot of fic/blurbs or whatever. That's just my own way of forgetting about what's currently going on in my life at the moment. I've also met so many amazing people here. You're all so talented, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

But yeah, this post isn't me saying I'm leaving. This is me coming on here to tell you that I just need a moment to myself. I have some fics and other little things I've created scheduled to be posted here in the next few weeks. I'll come on to respond to your reblogs and comments because I genuinely love the support from all of you. I'll be on here and there. Like I said, I'm not leaving.

If any of you want to reach out, my dms are open, and I do have a discord I'll give you.

[selfpositiveundertale]

Long post.

TW: car accident

Hey everyone. I'm not doing great.

I've already been having a hard time with migraines getting absolutely out of hand and interfering with literally everything in my life, but yesterday I had my first car accident. The meme I just posted is relevant. It was my fault but thankfully only me in the vehicle. Other than bruised knees(I'm short so I had the seat pulled up close so I could reach the pedals) and some mild rug burns where the air bag got me on my left hand and my neck (I had instinctively raised my arms to protect my face), I don't think I was injured in any way my chiropractor couldn't fix. Definitely jarred my entire skeleton and dislocated some ribs and messed up my neck but what else is new. I didn't hit my head and nothing hurts in any way I'm not already deeply familiar with. Surprisingly I haven't gotten a migraine yet but I'm fully expecting one soon.

Really good thing I wasn't wearing my sunglasses. I lost the pendent off my necklace though. It must have broken off when the air bag blew and then fallen into the road when I got out of the vehicle.

My vehicle is totaled. Not a great loss since the thing was on its last legs anyway but it sucks not having my own transportation now, even if I could only drive in town and couldn't leave town because it wouldn't make it far on the interstate. It would start shaking like a leaf any time I went over 50 mph and I didn't like that. I'm really sore and tired and shaken up but I'm getting through it.

My husband came immediately when I called him and he talked to the car insurance company and called his boss to take the rest of the day off work so he could be with me.

The people in the other car were mostly okay other than the man having a cut on his forehead and his wife having a scraped knee but both of their babies were completely unharmed, thank goodness. Nobody was mad at me, possibly because I was hysterical panicking inconsolable and kept apologizing and asking if they were okay. They were also on their way to the car dealership to see about getting a new vehicle anyway, so I think they'll be fine.

I made an appointment with my chiropractor this morning and he checked everything and basically said I was in pretty bad shape but not really any worse than usual, which was a great relief but not surprising. He fixed the ribs, my shoulder blades, neck, and hands and gave me some samples of a supplement he said might help the soreness. I'm also taking my painkillers, OTC pain medicine, and applying arnica cream to the bruises.

I've been so tired and sore and haven't been up to doing much of anything except eating my feelings but I'm making sure my pets get fed and helping my husband get ready for work in the morning. I don't think I'll be able to meal prep anything for him like I normally do and he says it's okay, he's not expecting anything of me if I don't feel up to it and he doesn't mind buying his breakfast and lunch.

I fear the financial repercussions of this, especially since things have already been very tight due to several sudden veterinary expenses. The cat gods looked at us and went "kittens upon you and your household" so in the last 4 weeks there have been 2 vet visits for a tiny baby runt of a kitten my husband found alone and abandoned at his workplace, one for a very pregnant stray kitty that followed a family member home and popped out 7 babies, and one for my dog when she caught a UTI. We think she's over it by now but I'm taking her back to the vet Friday for a recheck. It's been hard with her because she's been refusing to eat her dry food and we've been having to buy wet food as well as chicken breast and white rice and alternating between the wet food and a bland diet when the antibiotics made her tummy upset. I'm really hoping that by Friday I'll be brave enough to drive. The vet isn't far and my mom is going to let me take her old car for whatever I need until we manage to get me another used vehicle.

I know the car insurance is going to go up because of the crash even though now there's one less vehicle on it, and I'm praying to the heavens that I don't have to actually go to a doctor and get checked out because of the crash.

I need to see a doctor anyway about the migraines that are now coming several times a week and affecting me in unsettling ways like impairing my speech, making me nauseous when I use my eyeballs for their intended purpose, and even made me collapse once. But the clinic I usually go to because the price is income based is in the next town and I'd definitely have to have my husband take time off work to take me. I also fear they'll refer me to a neurologist. I'm certain I need to see one but since I don't have health insurance and the process for getting financial assistance at any given specialist office is (probably deliberately) incredibly difficult and tedious and almost not even worth the effort, it just doesn't seem feasible at this time.

I am trying to make things to stock my Etsy shop so I can make some money but at the moment I just don't have the energy for it. But maybe I should try anyway. The simple repetitive action of crocheting while listening to a book or Old Gods Of Appalachia might help me settle down and feel more normal. My hands ache but my compression gloves might help.

Things are just extremely scary and very painful right now. Staying determined is hard but I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[aleksanderscult]

Hello! I loved your post about Baghra and how she is a glorified egoist and super toxic!!!

I would like to know your opinion about Ana Kuya, the terrible woman who screwed and oppressed Alina when she was still a child!!!

⚠️TW!: Domestic violence and abuse!⚠️

Thanks, anon!

Apparently that's a similarity that they share, the Darkling and Alina. They both had shitty, abusive mothers. And in Ana Kuya's case it's pretty much the same. She was physically abusive and Alina and Mal remember her fondly. And that's the problem. Instead of having the characters admit that she was a horrible mother figure, we have them look back on her punishments as something...worth to be remembered fondly??

Let's dive in her most fucked-up moments.

Talking shit about the children she's assigned to look after. Alina and Mal both heard her but she's still an icon in their eyes! 😍

No 'cause imagine comparing your mother figure to some blood-thirsty creatures with sharp claws and teeth that live and thrive in darkness.

Uhh...

Excerpt No. 1, in which the protagonists talk about Ana Kuya's physically abusive behaviour.

A LETTER?!

Girl, if I were you I would say adiós and never look back. What letter are you talking about?? 😭

Ana Kuya being responsible of Alina's shame for wanting to get it on with a man. This woman and her morals are imprinted in her mind.

Imagine having to spend your last day with your love and choosing to talk about her. And the memory is again toxic 🥹

Other couples: "Let's talk about our happy memories"

Malina: "Let's talk about how our mother abused us"

They have literally zero good memories from her. Only shouting and beatings.

Now that's a woman to admire!!

Do you hear that Alina?? You must kiss their shoes otherwise you would be like that poor girl on the road! 😠

Excerpt No. 2, in which the protagonists talk about Ana Kuya's physically abusive behaviour.

Excerpt No. 3, in which the protagonists talk about Ana Kuya's physically abusive behaviour.

Excerpt No. 4, in which the protagonists talk about Ana Kuya's physically abusive behaviour.

If a child refuses to eat a food, beat it!

Aha! So she does acknowledge it, huh? But what does it matter? We forgive her in this house😍❤️

(also can we talk about how they wanted one of their friends to meet her? Like guys whyy??😭)

Thank the heavens actually.

In my opinion, children need mostly love and understanding. But they also need discipline, yes. But NOT through physical violence. NOT through constant screaming. This is wrong but it's very possible that in Ravka it's accepted and forgiven? Because I also remember reading somewhere that when Nikolai was a child and misbehaved, they were punishing his best friend physically (I haven't read the duology so please correct me if I'm wrong). So even the royal family found it normal.

But having the characters look back to it as something that was okay? And they adored her?

I'm sorry but I didn't shed one tear when she died. Botkin's death affected me more than hers ever did.

Alina when she died: "Oh my God!"

Me when she died: "Oh thank God!"

[miffy1111]

Fish in a Birdcage

cross posted onto Ao3 (Account is Miffy_1111)

Tw! -Gross wounds, bugs in said gross wounds, violence and death Also fun fact when I was writing this, I grinded a little too hard (on this as well as a million others fics) and got a weirdly painful ganglion cyst in my wrist and it is currently stuck in a wrist brace for the next week or so :p so the end of chapter 1, the editing process and all this stuff here has been typed one handed, so I apologise for any mistakes. This was really fun to write, and I'm excited to get the second chapter out! This chapter here is basically a look into the past and why he'll be silly next chapter, Also I haven't gotten to book 7 yet so I apologise if General Lilia is ooc! Please let me know in the comments what you think, Im pretty new to writing so I'm always happy to hear what you think!

(Word Count: 3847)

1/2 Chapters

i. Damnation: condemnation to eternal punishment in hell. To be doomed to suffer in hell forever.  - do this one for the last word thing lol

The sun felt warm. Its heat soaked into Lilias's armour, making it feel rather stuffy to stand in the forest clearing. He couldn't see any reflection of himself in the lake before him, however he knew his cheeks were flushed. As a nocturnal fae, he hadn’t spent much time outside during the day, either training indoors or sleeping. 

However, due to the diurnal nature of humans, he often found himself needing to be up when the sun was. 

He pulled up his hood to shield himself and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He looked down on the human soldier below him, the cheeks of their face- left unconcealed by their metallic helmet, were also a reddish colour under the unforgiving rays of the sun.

During a patrol in the forest that further deprived him of much-needed sleep, a familiar yet unfamiliar scent caught his attention. It was heavily metallic, with undertones of bitter red wine. He followed the scent towards the mossy shores of a lake, where he saw a figure lying, body half in the water.

 Crimson leached into the lake from beneath them, the source of which was a large rather gorey-looking cut in their side. They looked to be a human soldier, a low-ranking one at that. The only armour they wore was a spangenhelm and a chainmail shirt, their dark blue aketon covering the rest of their arms. A shield bearing King Henricks emblem was half-sunk in the shallows of the lake, Lilia taking it as a sign.

Looking at the human soldier, Lilia noticed magenta scorch marks on the edges of broken chainlinks, indicating that the weapon used was likely enchanted. He also estimated by the blowflies laying eggs and chewing through the wound, that the soldier would have been here for a few hours, at least 4. Lilia knew that blowfly eggs took anywhere between 8-20 hours to mature to maggots, which the wound was devoid of.

A series of wheezy coughs snapped Lilia back to reality, as the soldier attempted to lift themself with their elbow, hand just barely clutching a broken sword.

“Just kill me. To die by the likes of you… is a better fate than this,” Their voice was hoarse, and shortly after they spoke they broke into another coughing fit, more blood dribbled from their side from the movement.

Lilia looked at the soldier, eyes narrowing as he scowled, “Silence soldier! I will not have a human such as yourself command me,” 

Lifting his boot to their head, he swiftly kicked off the helmet that covered their face, not bothering to avoid their nose. The soldier groaned in pain, the arm that lifted them gave in to cradle their seemingly-broken nose, blood trickling down their pale olive-toned skin. 

Though Lilia hated humans, he truly hadn’t aimed to further injure the soldier- he just wanted to get a better look at their face, without the barrier of the helmet. His eyes raked over their newly revealed features. 

The human soldier's gender was indiscernible, and their face was wet and speckled with dirt, with dark curly hair just barely touching their shoulders. 

Despite their nose being rather crooked due to the far-too-much force of his kick, Lilia could see its aquiline shape, different from the typical straight-pointed ones common in their comrades. Their jaw was clenched hard and they looked at him, dark eyes squinted in pain, as shaky hands attempted to lift their sword at him. 

He grabbed the sword by the handle, taking it from their hands and throwing it into the lake. The human soldier was no danger to him, this was just an example he would make. Grabbing onto the wrist that once held the sword, he hoisted them over his shoulder- ignoring their groans of pain, and walked back into the woods to return to the camp. 

The position was awkward for the both of you, the soldier was completely limp, so the tips of their boots smacked against his calves with each step, and he had to focus on his steps so that the both of your legs wouldn’t tangle together.  

Despite Lilias' disgust at the thought of having to save a human (especially one from the blonde bastard's side), he needed information, and if they survived they could be useful.

After another series of painful-sounding coughs that left little specks of blood on Lilias's armour, the soldier spoke up with a strained voice, “Where are you taking me,”

“You’ll see, try anything and I’ll leave you back there to perish,” he grunted out, eyeing the tiny red speckles that trickled down his torso. 

They went quiet.

Premonitory: A warning about something unpleasant before it happens. 

When Lilia arrived at his quadrant's temporary base, he barged into the healer's tent, curtly described the soldier's condition and why they were to live, dumped them in front of the healer and left. 

As he walked over to his tent, he looked at where the soldier had coughed on him. The splotches of blood left on his armour turned a strange almost burgundy colour, and turning as far as he could to see his back, a large patch, more purple in tone, was left there from their side.

As he tried to wipe as much of it off as possible, a sense of foreboding washed over him. It was no doubt just by looking at the state of their armour that they fell victim to something enchanted, however, there was no telling what effect such a weapon would have on them, or if they would even survive.

—

Around 4 weeks later, Lilia was called to the hospital tent, a mere blink in time for the fae. While at times he was left morbidly curious about the soldier's fate, it wasn’t something he lost sleep on. 

As he arrived he scanned over the room, ruby-red eyes searched like an owl hunting a rabbit. Only to find that they weren’t there. He looked accusingly at the now-trembling healer. 

His scowl had done all the talking for him, as the healer finally began to stutter out an explanation

“Ah-h! General Vanrouge, the human soldier, she was sent off to the dungeon in Black Scale Castle as of yesterday. They asked me to tell you to go… there for questioning,” he grew meek as he continued, irritation evident on Lilias's face.

“I see…” Lilia said calmly, confusion washing over the healer, “And the thought hadn’t come across you to tell me this, several days ago?!” his calm disposition quickly disappeared as he raised his voice, the healer quickly muttering something about him not finding out till this morning. 

Lilia sighed and shook his head, his features softening as his anger fizzled out, “Nevermind that, how was their health?”

“Ah yes! I suspect th-that they were hit with a spell, maybe corrosion magic? B-but! It hadn’t gone so far into their system that I couldn’t somewhat heal them, they were rather difficult to deal with…” he spoke with both constant stuttering and muttering, things that Lilia found rather irritating back in his youth. 

“Oh! Also, t-the nature of their illness, i-its similar to… something like, say mould for example,” The healer's shy nature crumbled away as a grim expression washed over his freckled face, “Once it's there, its roots slowly spread throughout the host. Meaning that- though it is a trace amount- there are still roots of the magic inside them. I give them a few months at best,” 

Lilia nodded, all the more reason to get the interrogation done sooner rather than later, “I understand,”

___

It took him almost 2 days to get to Black Scale Castle, with the first day spent being pestered by the Senate to receive permission and the second spent travelling without rest. Upon arriving at the castle, he was immediately sent to the dungeons. 

Looking at the soldier through the bars of their current prison, they seemed ever so slightly better than when he had last seen them. A torso covered by layers of chainmail and aketon was replaced with a hemp-cloth shirt, as were their linen pants, both several sizes too large. He could spy bandages wrapped around their shoulder and left arm, as well as around their chest. The air smelt of wet stone and medicinal herbs.

The dungeon itself was poorly lit and dank, and each cell was only made accessible through a wooden door, with a slot for food trays to slide through on the bottom. The only light let into each cell was a small barred window at the top of the door, however after looking through, Lilia could spy a rectangular (also barred) window at the top right corner of the cell.

The dungeon was practically desolate, he almost felt a sliver of empathy for the human. Almost.

Holding a torch, Lilia opened the door to the human soldier's cell and prepared for what was to come.

iii. Ephemeral: Something that lasts a short duration of time, a fleeting moment, a brief period in time. 

His eyes pierced through them, attempting to either read them with a single glare or intimidate them into submission. It was always unnervingly quiet in the dungeon, all sound almost completely sucked up by the stone walls. It should have been considered a miracle that someone hadn’t gone insane in there. 

The soldier's face remained downcast, however, he could sense their vulnerable state. Dark circles were prominent underneath their eyes, however their skin was less sickly-pale than when he last saw them.

Lilia crouched down beside them on the stone floor and lifted their chin to meet their gaze

“You will call me General Vanrouge from this moment forth. You will answer my questions with nothing but the truth, fail to do so- and the punishment will be beyond any pain you’ve ever felt. Now state your name and rank, human,” he said, pointed teeth bared.

The way the soldier looked glaring upwards at him, jaw clenched and nose crinkled in disgust, such attitude flared the faes temper. 

“I am a low-ranking soldier, I was given the name Siro,” Despite the scowl on their face, the human spoke without malice in their voice. They made themself seem small against the cold stone, and even though their stare was poisonous, they almost wanted to look submissive. 

“And what were you doing in fae territory? I’m sure even the daftest of your kind would know that that forest is strictly overseen by fae,” he asked, no lack of his prior harshness

“I was given the wrong directions to camp, and I wound up by the lake you found me at. If you want to blame anyone- please, blame my commanding officer, Lucius,” they spoke with a flat voice, and even though Lilia wished he did, he couldn’t feel any indication of them lying.

“What a fool” He replied, “Now, tell me everything you know,” This was Lilias's favourite part of the interrogation. A human soldier's pride and ego often knew no bounds, so breaking them in was a lengthy process the Lilia thoroughly enjoyed. To wipe their dreadful smirks from their faces and tear that awful look of hope from their eyes. 

The soldier, Siro, looked up at him with an unreadable expression, opening and shutting their mouth as if continually deciding not to say something- like a fish gasping for air. 

Lilia moved his hand to his weapon, a threat to hurry things along.

“I-I! Uhm,” Siro quickly cleared their throat, “I don’t believe anything I know would be of use to you. I am of the lowest rank, so I am not trusted with important information,” They blurted out. 

Siro almost looked panicked. They clearly knew what became of hostages that weren’t of any use. Lilia once again almost felt bad for them. Even though Lilia revealed in their fear, it would be a pain to find yet another human soldier

“Well then, I want what little you do know, as well as how you came to be attacked. Surely you weren’t foolish enough to go alone into the forest?” 

“I was sent on my own. Before my unit made our way back to camp, my officer pulled me aside and asked me to stay and sharpen my sword on one of the rocks. It must have been a prank, as I only realised later well after everyone left that all the swords were sharpened only yesterday. He gave me a map as well, but it must have been the wrong one as I wound up at that lake,” Siro explained with a bitter edge to their voice and a glare in their eye. One that Lilia wanted to slap clean off.

Cruel pranks like those weren’t uncommon in human armies. Hazing, he believed it was called. Lilia could only imagine the officers all giggling together, telling each other ways to make fools of their subordinates. Lilia only wished he could see the look on the officer's face as the weeks rolled by and Siro was nowhere to be seen. Another one of their pathetic soldiers gone.

“Such pranks are common in human armies, I hear. Humans truly are foolish. You would have died out there,” He replied “Now, how did you come to be injured,”

“I don’t remember. I was by the lake looking around for anyone I may have known, then next thing I knew, I was in some healer's tent with a broken nose and a chunk out of my side,” they said.

“How strange…,” Lilia said, avoiding Siro’s eyes at the mention of their nose. 

An hour went by, and nothing more than basic questions and answers were shared. He hadn’t learned much, however they were far more cooperative than other humans he had interrogated.

As he prepared to leave the cell and return to his duties, Siro spoke up, “Was that enough for you? When will I be permitted to leave,” They asked him.

“I assume till either the war finishes or you do. Perhaps if you continue to behave I might be able to send you to a prison of… better quality,” He said, looking around the dank cell to further his point, “However it is out of my control,”

They looked at him, shoulders slumped as their standard glare was replaced with a melancholic gaze, “I understand”

iii. Wasting: Causing a person or a body part to become progressively weaker and more emaciated, typically by a wasting disease

As the months passed, Lilia (much to his dismay) often found himself returning to the dungeon. The first few times it was purely for information, however as time went on he slowly became more and more curious about them as a person. However, he wasn’t sure how long he could continue saying he was just curious.

Siro, the lowly soldier, no longer had any name of their own. Their birth name was Mariam, born a girl in a place they no longer remembered. The soldiers who raided their village assumed them to be a boy, only realising after a week their mistake. Their name had already been changed to Siro, and so they were brought up as a boy.

They would never be able to return to their family, all slaughtered in a land now foreign to them. Their sister, Arev, Siro assumed was still alive, as she too was taken. Siro had told Lilia with eyes as dead as a fish how it was obvious Arev was a girl, and a beautiful one at that. He knew to read between the lines and assume that she had been taken to be some soldier's wife; a war prize. Such was one of the many things about humans that disgusted Lilia.

After they had been taken, they were banned from their language. The commanding officer Lucius, the one who played that rather cruel prank on them, was the one who taught them how to speak the common language. Lucius never had a son, so he helped raise Siro, and despite his somewhat cruel tendencies, Siro never said much on their feelings about Lucius, and Lilia never asked.

Being born a girl and raised a boy, Siro never really saw themself as either. They weren’t ashamed of what they were born as, nor were they embarrassed about what they were raised as. They were simply just a person, they had told him once.

Lilia hated how he remembered everything they told him, how he soaked up their words and near reveled in the sound of their strained voice. 

Siro the human soldier. Truly an example of how cruel fate can be. Born in a place to a peoples that weren’t seen as human enough, forever fated to being a glorified slave. They were a slave to their own race, and they would be chained in this prison for the rest of their life. Chained to him. Despite the change in scenery, they would never be free, something they never truly accepted, even through their growing weakness.

The months went on, and both him and Siro slowly became consumed. The former, his mind- as it became overrun with the thoughts of Siro, and the latter, their body. As the months passed, deep purple veins became more and more prominent across their skin, which too grew to be a sickly pale. Their eyes looked glazed over and dark circles emerged underneath despite their frequent sleeping. Their body, though already thin when they were first found, grew even more so as their muscles fizzled away. They knew they were dying, and their appetite dwindled to the point Lilia had to come by every day to force food and water down their throat. He was never soft with them, and though he would say it was due to his hatred he knew deep down that he was in denial.

As the seasons changed and the weather grew colder, so did the cell. The cold had gotten to Siro, as their hands were even more clammy and their nose became stuffy and red.

When Lilia came to visit again, a spare blanket hidden behind his back, he found them shivering in the corner. The blanket draped over their shoulders was thin, a hole torn near the middle meant that it was doing little to provide warmth. 

Silently, Lilia draped the extra blanket over them, averting his gaze from the purple roots creeping across their face. The healer said himself, they would likely only live a few months, and it was a miracle they made it past 8. Siro wouldn’t live to see the end of the week.

​​As Lilia laid in bed that night, he regretted leaving that cell. Though Siro had an extra blanket, a twinge of guilt tugged at him. What if that was the last time he ever saw them? What if they were lying on that uncomfortable straw mattress, Lilias blanket wrapped around them as they breathed their la​​st breath? He tried to shake away those thoughts, they were nothing but a pathetic human!

He wasn’t sure what he would say, to his superiors, to himself, as he snuck into their cell. The opening and shutting of the heavy wooden door didn’t stir them from their sleep as it used to, and Lilia immediately went to check their breathing. 

He kneeled down and checked everything twice over; their soft pulse, the slow rise and fall of their chest, the laboured breaths that left their nose. He let out a sigh of relief, hand going to stroke their thinning- now wavy- hair. A strange feeling sat heavy in his chest. Why was he even doing this? He must look like a fool, he thought as he smiled at their sleeping face. 

Would they want to die here? He quickly shook the thought from his mind, he could only imagine the outrage from the senate if they found out he released an enemy soldier without written consent. Even if they were sick and dying, it wouldn’t be allowed.

Siro roused from their slumber with a painful sounding cough, more of that purple mucus splattering against their hand like phlegm. The roots had taken place in their lungs not long ago, shown by their recent difficulty in breathing. They looked up at him, tired and disoriented, “Lilia, is that truly you?” 

Lilia wasn’t sure what had got into him, his hand trailed down from their dark strands to gently hold the side of their face. He merely nodded then hushed them, a tenderness he had never felt before overwhelmed him, the feeling like a tide washing over him, blocking words from his mouth. They slowly pushed themself up till they sat up before them, opening their blanket so that Lilia could find warmth in there too. 

Intimacy, his first taste in a while. He cosied up next to them, allowing them to rest their head on his shoulder. Maybe Lilia was just tired, but he was finally able to ignore his internal feelings of disgust, of hatred towards Siro.

Suddenly his arms were wrapped around them, suddenly they were playing with his hair; suddenly their lips met and they both fell completely silent. An all-consuming warmth washed over him, silencing his doubts. They weren’t slowly dying before him, they weren’t a soldier from the enemy side, and they would be able to kiss like this again. The stoney walls of the dungeon disappeared around the two of them as his tongue slipped into their mouth. They ran their fingers down black and red strands of hair, then shakily caressed his cheek. 

It was unfortunate that all good things came to an end. Their body suddenly became too weak to hold itself up, and they crashed back into their bed, ending the kiss. They coughed again, it racked through their body as purple veins in their neck began to bulge slightly. They were in pain, it was only right.

With one last strained breath, they were gone. No final words were spoken, neither did Lilia say anything else. There was no point in shedding any tears or screaming out with regret, and even though his heart cried out, Lilia merely sat, still and silent as the stone walls around him.

He would have preserved them if he could, however, there was a war, and as the Silver Owls closed in, he had to have them cremated. Lilia had tried to find their sister, Arev, however he hadn’t the time or resources to do anything beyond scour through a few official records. He knew Siro would have wanted their ashes to be spread, Great Sevens, that was one of their dying wishes. Call him selfish, but something inside him couldn’t let go of them yet. They would have to wait a few more years, he would tell himself, to at least let his grief pass.

Siro, the human soldier, forever left longing for their freedom.

End of Part 1

I hope you enjoyed! Sorry if this was straight ass, this is only my second work in this fandom lol. The second chapter might not be released for a hot minute as I'm currently both flooded with school work and! stuck wearing a wrist brace for the next week or so. Stay well and stay hydrated!

[autism-autobot]

LMK Angst Fic Part 5

Author's note: I think there need to be more platonic and friendship cuddling in media and in the world, so here we are. (Definitely not touch starved nope not me!)

Part 4:

It was around three in the morning in the celestial realm. Nezha had become accustomed to sleeping beside Sun Wukong every night and had even begun to enjoy it despite the reason why they started doing it. He had always thought of Wukong as a good friend and companion, which he didn't have very many of thanks to his workaholic attitude. Him and Wukong had even become quite comfortable with each other.

Nezha was aroace and Wukong still considered himself spoken for since his previous marriage had ended in death and not divorce. So it was as platonic as could be. However, they were both touch-starved and emotionally neglected as children, so there's that.

Wukong and Nezha had grown used to falling asleep snuggled up next to each other, with limbs tangled in weird form around each other. But neither of them were exactly still while they slept, so Nezha wasn't immediately concerned when he couldn't feel Wukong next to him when he flopped his arm around beside him to try and find the monkey he'd grown so close to.

Until he heard the whimpering.

That can't be good.

Nezha bolted upright in the bed. He searched the dark room for his friend's ginger-colored fur. He found it at the edge of the bed.

After clambering over to Wukong's side he gently and quietly asked:

Nezha: Wukong, are you awake? What's the matter?

SWK: *sobbing* I-it's my head! It's hurting! It hurts so bad! Please-

Nezha: Shhhhh, Wukong. It's alright. I'm here, it's okay. You'll be okay.

Nezha had become accustomed to Wukong's post-circlet migraines and various other symptoms of Wukong's traumas. It seemed as though even after Wukong had learned to cope with the physical damage done to him, his body had not, and was therefore having it's own posttraumatic episodes.

Nezha had found ways to sooth him luckily.

Nezha laid Wukong in his original position on his side of their shared bed and put an ice pack on his forehead. He then lit some incense and lightly wafted the fumes in Wukong's direction so he could smell it. That was more to soothe the monkey's panic than anything.

After laying back down beside Wukong, Nezha wrapped an arm around his chest.

Nezha: Are you comfortable enough?

SWK: I think so.....*gasps*

Nezha: Wukong what-

SWK: Hot flash. Don't worry, it's already over. Gosh, that felt bad.

Nezha: It will be alright my friend. I am here.

SWK: Thank you. For everything.

Nezha: No problem, I quite enjoy your company. I just wish you weren't in pain as often as you are.

SWK: You and me both.

~~~

They slept for a few more hours before getting up. Sun Wukong tended to be very weak during and after a migraine, as was the design of the circlet he once wore. Nezha helped him to the downstairs living room and set him up on the couch.

SWK: Ow.

Nezha: Sorry.

SWK: Nah, it's fine. I should be the one saying sorry to you.

Nezha: Whatever do you mean by that?

SWK: You're always having to help me out with stuff and getting me out of trouble.

Nezha: That is only half true. Besides, I do not mind taking care of you.

SWK: But don't you think of me as weak for needing help like this?

Nezha: No, not really. If I did, however, I'd be the world's biggest hypocrite.

SWK: What? How so?

Nezha went into the adjacent closet and pulled out a wheelchair, it was the active kind too, unlike the bulky ones you'd find in the hospital.

Nezha: I haven't told you this before, I probably should've by now but, I guess I share similar insecurities.

Nezha: I am disabled. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk about easily at times, while others I cannot.

Nezha: That is also why I have my fire wheels, sash, and staff. They are mobility devices. Albeit they are a bit atypical.

SWK: Cool!

Nezha: Really? You think they're cool?

SWK: Well, yeah! I think that type of stuff is pretty interesting. I get why you wouldn't exactly want to show it off though.

Nezha: Thank you. Perhaps if you are ever needing some help after a migraine or other health complication, you can use one of my many wheelchairs! I hardly use most of them anymore, it's nice to have backups. Just in case.

SWK: Thanks for the offer. Maybe I'll give one a spin after I feel a little bit better. I still feel like my head will explode if I sit up.

Nezha: Alright then. I'll park this one next to you so you can have an easy transition when you are ready.

SWK: Thanks again.

Nezha: You are quite welcome.

Part 6:

[ana-mp3]

INTRO <3 | TW: ED mentions

DISCLAIMERS:

This blog is meant to serve as an online diary and a place where I can talk about my struggles (ED, depression, ADHD, etc.). If you do not like what I post please BLOCK, DON'T REPORT.

I am NOT promoting EDs or any mental health issues I talk about.

I am very pro-recovery

ABOUT ME:

Hello! My name is Lilian, but I go by Lili. I'm queer (I really don't know TT. I'm either bi or a lesbian). I am a minor (6teen). I used to be @Lazyana (but got termed :/). I'm not sure what else to talk about.. so here are some of my interests :D. I LOVE music! I love listening to music, playing instruments, and singing! (Although I am terrible). I can play the flute, and I'm learning the piano and guitar :D (All incredibly half-assed I should mention). Along with music, I quite enjoy Philosophy/Ethics, Psychology, Geography, Vexillology, and Etymology! (Typing this out I just now realize how boring I am).

ABOUT MY ED:

(Be advised, this is very ramble-y and typed at 03:30)

I have atypical @nørexia (Which diagnostically isn't that different from regular @nør3xia). It's all the same criteria, just not being underweight. I've never received any type of treatment/medical attention for my ED. I've had an on-and-off ED for a few years now, but it got serious this year. I've always been insecure about my body, ever since elementary school. I have always been taller and a bit bigger than all my friends (It didn't help that they were/are all just naturally very skinny and short) and so I've found my ED journey(?) extremely lonely and isolating. An ED in itself is already a deeply lonesome experience, but with the addition of all your friends (ever) being the standard you so desperately wish you were just throws in new emotions. Sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, and knowing that they would never (truly) understand what you're going through. (I'm not saying that skinny people can't have ED's. I'm saying that they wouldn't understand what it's like to be bigger with an ED). I haven't told anyone about my ED for a few reasons. 1) I don't want to be a burden that they have to watch over. I don't want them to be worried about me constantly (I also don't want to feel pressured to eat). 2) I am not at the results I want yet. I've always had a thought in the back of my mind, "You can eat/get better/get help/etc., once you're skinny" and surprise surprise, I'm not there yet. 3) I just know they wouldn't/couldn't understand. They all are skinny/short/really pretty, blessed with fast metabolisms. How could they understand that I have to ⭐ve myself to get skinner. How could they understand that I hate how I look so badly, that I need to punish myself for it. How could they possibly understand my obsessively toxic mindset, where I'm acutely aware of everything I've ate and the calories I've consumed (I can't forget what I've ate until I log it). 4) They'd never look at me the same. Sure, they wouldn't judge me for it, but I'd always have that target stuck on my back forever. I'd always be 'the girl with the ED'. 5) This is one of my most vulnerable secrets I'm keeping. I can barely communicate with my friends about significantly less intense mental health issues, let alone a god damn ED.

STATS:

SW: 178lbs/80kg

CW: 160.6lbs/73kg

GW1: 154lbs/70kg

GW1: 147lbs/67kg

GW2: 140lbs/63kg

GW3: 132lbs/60kg

GW3: 127lbs/58kg

UGW: 110lbs/50kg

height: 5'8/173cm

That has been that <3. (Again please don't report, It really doesn't help in any way :( please just block me)

[glazedtrash721]

Beware, this is a LONG post!!

TW: a lil' scopophobia perhaps

So, you know how there's a boat load of Welcome Home AUs floating around?

Well, now there's one more!! (And even more given some time!)

Let me introduce you to my first Welcome Home AU:

Children's Hospital AU!!

In this AU, all of our lovely neighbors are staff at the town's local Children's Hospital, which is officially titled the "Healthy Home Children's Hospital", or HHCH for short! This AU doesn't really have any spooky or funky elements to it, as I was pretty desperate for ideas that haven't already been done when I thought of it. Although, this AU does serve its purpose in being very cute and wholesome, and I'm sure that it could make for some fun content!

Characters and more info can be found under the break!

By the way, these drawings are not to scale! I just made them so that they would fit on the page :/

Anyways...

Let us first start with the Doctors!

Doctors Darling, Joyful, and Frankly have bested too many years of medical school and are now here to take care of their young patients! Both Dr. Wally Darling and Dr. Julie Joyful are physicians, and they can be found buzzing around the hospital, tending to whoever needs it! Dr. Darling, with his calm and cool energy, is more often assigned to older and more anxious kids. Dr. Joyful, on the other hand, is often tasked with the care of younger children and babies with her more energetic and sweet personality. Dr. Frank Frankly is the surgeon of the group, and he excells with his steady hands and his thirst for knowledge and for solving problems! Dispite his grumpy appearance, the children find him a joy to see when he checks up on them before and after surgery!

Next, we have the Nurses!

Nurses Sally, Barnaby, and Howdy help make up the back bone of the hospital, and they are always on their toes helping those in need! Nurse Sally can typically be found in the ER, where her quick feet and her sunny disposition are a must have, though she can be found bouncing all over the hospital! Nurse Barnaby never fails to put a smile on a patient's face with his funny jokes, and he is a dream when someone needs a distraction from a needle or anything else that may be frightening them! Nurse Howdy is extremely handy with his four hands and arms, making him an amazing multi-tasker! He is also a master of hugs, and he is wonderful with calming down particularly upset patients. He and Barnaby are also often called on the occurrence where a patient (or even parent!) needs restrained, thanks to their size and even tempers!

Lastly, we have those with more miscellaneous jobs!

Mr. Eddie and Ms. Poppy also have important jobs that help the hospital and its patients! Eddie is the HHCH's trusty mailman! He takes gifts and letters from the mail room and gift shop and delivers them to their recipients. As he knows the hospital's layout like the back of his hand, he also often accompanys visitors and volunteers, such as those who bring therapy dogs and such! He also takes extra care to dress up on holidays and other occasions! Ms. Poppy is an Emotional Consultant, and she is there to help patients and their families make difficult decisions, usually regarding treatment. Still the nervous bird that she is, she still tries to put on a brave face and a warm smile to those who need a little extra guidance or reassurance.

They're all colorless now, but I'll probably add that soon lol.

Also, I haven't designed Home yet, but I imagine he'd be the Headmaster of the hospital or something similar? I may give him a design later on.

Anyways, that concludes my first Welcome Home AU! Feel free to ask for any specific info that you want me to elaborate on, and feel free to use these silly dudes in your own fan content, given that it's not sussy (NSFW in the sexual way), and that a lil' credit is given! Otherwise, go ham!

[boba-tea-addict-1004]

🔥 Cryptid Rengoku offers you safety 🔥

Pairing: Cryptid Rengoku x Nonbinary Y/n

Word count: 1,665

A/N: i wanted to post this on Halloween but got caught up with some stuff, so enjoy some post Halloween content :)

⚠TW: Transphobia and Physical abuse ⚠

Inspired by:

You worked as a paranormal investigator for about a year now. you always been fascinated with mythology, the paranormal and other worldly things... this of course did not go unnoticed by your parents (along with signs of your not so cis normative identity). they always said that they did what they did out of protection... however now on your own you weren't so sure you were the one they were protecting. push came to shove, and you haven't spoken since you moved out.

you think they liked it better this way anyway.

the town you moved in had a strange atmosphere to it, you couldn't quite place what it was...

once you got settled in you started researching, not only for your job but also out of pure enjoyment. the place you rented was small and cozy however the rent was... something. still you didn't have much time to dwell on it, you figured if you could just get through these next few months with at least a few assignments you'd be okay.

shouldnt be hard..

since you moved into a city with possibly the most missing people..

.

.

.

'

'The Aniciti Oni: A mysterious beast going as far back as the taisho era and even a bit further than that. rumored he has the power to create and control fire with ease. ancient art show's he was worshiped and praised... for what purpose is unknown. little is known and everything is still just speculation. was said to be sighted in forest near resident area's' as you continued to read you sighed ignoring whatever calls you got from your parents. they have been calling for a few days now, it was really starting to worry you. you didn't tell them where you were going when you left and yet from the voicemails they left, somehow.. they knew. unsettling to say the least.

you sigh "give me a break" you mutter to yourself rejecting another call from them. you looked at the page and figured that'd be a good place to start looking... the forest wasn't that far from your general area so it would be much of a problem. just hoped you'd be able to do what you needed to do first.

.

.

you had you headphones in your ear listening to your music looking around the outskirts of the woods first, seeing if there were any signs of life besides the usual birds and wolfs. you looked close at the ground at a few footprints, so far nothing seemed out of the ordinary and things were going pretty smoothly. you were about to stand when suddenly you were yanked up by someone causing your headphones to fall out of position. you were turned around and forced to face the people you tried so hard to run from. how they found you, you weren't sure but if you had to guess it was most likely a friend told them. you listened as your father yelled in your face while you were trying to push him away. after a bit he dropped you onto the hard asphalt of the street close by.

"After everything we done for you! after raising you and taking care of you this is how you repay us! running off to some town without so much as a goodbye!" your mother was trying to hold him back from kicking you any further. at this point you were curled up from the pain and was just waiting for him to stop so you could finally get up, every time you did try to get up you were kicked back down. you were internally screaming and begging to stop but no words were coming out, you considered yourself a strong person... but not around them. they somehow always managed to seem bigger and more powerful than you. he grabbed you by your collar again and he hit you a few more times. after a bit he dropped you back on the street and it was then you took this opportunity to run into the woods. you didn't have your phone, dew to the drama you lost it so now you had no way to call for help. not like you really had anyone to call anyway... your mom then ran after you trying to 'reason with you' but you already knew what that meant. she'd try and find a way to convince you to come back. that wasn't going to work this time. you continued to run till you tripped on a tree root and hit your head on a rock. then.. lights out..

.

.

.

when you woke up you felt your head was pounding and still bleeding slightly. "urg.." you groaned trying to get up. you noticed that the plaid shirt you were wearing was torn- no.. it was ripped in some areas and was now being used as a makeshift bandage for your head. lucky for you, you were wearing a tank top underneath, so you weren't half naked or anything like that. you got up and noticed that the jacket you were wearing (now covered in blood) was being used as a makeshift pillow. day had long since ended and from the looks of things you'd be knocked out for six hours at most. sun had already set and it was starting to get cold. you picked up your jacket and put it on trying not to think about the blood.. though you did wonder what was keeping you warn while you were asleep.. or.. what even saved you in the first place. "hello?" you call out but no response

"Hello!"

still nothing but dead silence

"I- I'm not from around here... and... i could really use some help getting back into town..." you weren't sure how deep you were in the woods or how long it'd take you to get back. everything looked the same at night. you looked around a bit more and after a bit you heard the sound of something rustling in the tree's. you look up swiftly and noticed a pair of big eyes, unsettling for sure but you weren't scared. you made eye contact with- whatever it was and in a calm tone said "hey.. don't be afraid.."

"I'm not afraid." he responded with an echo in his voice

you were a bit taken back, you weren't expecting an actual response but replied anyway "then come out" you walk a little closer

"then you'll be afraid."

you shake your head slightly then winced a bit from the pain "who- who are you?"

"careful... looks pretty bad..."

you nod slight then tilt your head slowly ".. who are you?" frankly you were somewhat afraid of the answer but stood firm

he didn't respond

"...are.. they coming back?"

he shook his head, you could somewhat make out his form a bit more as your eye adjusted "no, every time they got close i led them out. they gave up after a while... i'm sorry about that by the way"

"you.. saw?"

he nodded "i watched.. I'm sorry i couldn't step in sooner.. was afraid you'd run away"

you sighed "why would i do that?"

"..."

you look up at the moon and then back at him "..can i at least get your name?"

"..Kyojuro. Kyojuro Rengoku.."

you smile slightly "Y/n. Y/n L/n"

"What were you even doing out here?" he moved a little closer but remained hidden enough.

"i could ask you the same thing.. but i'm not gonna since i owe you one"

he shook his head "you dont own me anything Y/n.."

you look up at the moon, the light was perfectly on you, and you looked down and saw how many bruises and cuts were on you. you then walked closer to where the figure was and reached your hand out. he shook his head again then stepped back a bit more... you both continued to make eye contact then after a few seconds he took it. one thing you were not expecting to feel was.. claws... one thing you also now just noticed was how much taller he was than you. around seven feet at least. you led him into the light, and you nearly froze but kept your composer as best as you could. his eyes were red and almost looked like staring into a void, you noticed his ears and tail.. you weren't dealing with a human in the slightest. whatever he was... you were making direct contact with and felt your blood run colder. still you did your best to stay calm and composed. you remembered that page you read about in one of your books, a legendary creature that was rumored to be lurking around. could he be what you were looking for?.. he was a lot bigger that you expected. you noticed you were still holding his hand and rubbed your thumb against his soft fur and you let out a soft exhale "fluffy." you note. he chuckled slightly smiling "i'm guessing i'm not what you were expecting"

"Well yeah i was somewhat expecting someone more.. my height" you chuckle. from his fur you were able to make the assumption he was beside you as you slept and only left when you were starting to to wake up. for some reason that brought you comfort in knowing..

"it's not safe to go wondering alone at night.. especially if they might still be lurking. you may stay here for a while.."

"Oh no i couldn't do that, i don't want to impose" you shook your head still trying to get used to who you were talking to

"i insist.. it's why i was created after all.."

you rose a brow "created..?"

"i can elaborate more on that some other time, right now.. you need rest... and food"

now that he mentioned it you noticed you were hungry "i'd really appreciate that" you smile

and so was formed your first friendship in your new town

[ibelieveinthejrsupremecy]

‼️EMERGENCY POST‼️

I might potentially be homeless in a week! I don't have enough money to rent any place and I'm trying to reach out to friends and even co-workers for help, tips on this blog would be appreciated!

I'm 21 years old (until November of this year), I'm a trans man, and I'm getting kicked out by two emotionally abusive narcs and I desperately need help financially if I can't find a place to live. At this point, it feels like a life or death situation because I am losing hope for anything in life. Existing is just hard and if I can't find any help, I know I'm gonna do something stupid to myself.

TW: talk of transphobia, self-unaliving/harming thoughts, and emotional/psychological abuse under the cut.

I have been living with these two people for almost 3 years and I have been nothing but miserable. Initially they wanted to help me get on my feet but things changed when they found out I am trans. They have made transphobic comments such as "Do you have a dick between your legs?" "Are you sure you aren't just confused or genderfluid?" "Its your persona, not the real you" and more.

I have attempted to reach out to others about this, but they "don't want to pick sides" and let it happen. I have never felt more alone than I did.

Struggling with chronic depression and anxiety, I tend to lose motivation to even do the simplest things. Things like; showers, brushing my teeth, getting out of bed, remembering to do chores. That has gotten me into issues with my two roommates, always making me feel bad about those things. And when I attempted to explain myself, they would always say "We brought you in when your mom told you to move out, you should be grateful. We work full time jobs, you have more off time than us for being part time, you shouldn't be struggling to remember to do chores. You're lazy, irresponsible, you hardly do anything to help yourself and always say 'oh I forgot' all the time."

They tell me that I take advantage of their kindness and generosity. When I first started to live with them, they say they "allowed" me to cut my hair when I first did it, as if I had no say in what I did with my own body.

Everytime I was happy and in a good mood and said something, they pointed out that it was weird and stupid to say. They constantly made me feel bad whenever I expressed about being in a good mood over something I enjoyed. Everytime they're around, I always felt uncomfortable in their presence like I was walking on eggshells. Just their mere presence always made me uncomfortable.

It's only recently that I started to think of relapsing with self-harm, something I haven't done in probably 8 years? I do have a blade that I use as a self defense going to and from work. I haven't tho, thankfully, but I still think and consider it. I also started to think "things would be better if I was just gone. The people that I live with hate me, so it's a good idea" and thinking that scares me. I don't trust myself to be alone anymore. And if I do end up on the streets, I know I'll do something stupid because it would basically feel like I got nothing to lose.

I used to get so angry whenever they said or did any of these things. But living with them for this long, I'm just tired and more depressed than ever, and today was the final straw.

Today marks the day that they gave me an ultimatum; get my shit together in order to stay or get kicked out. So please, if you're willing to give me a tip on this blog, I would appreciate that a lot because now every. Penny. Counts.

[moonjxsung]

so we're all struggling right now huh ... 😭

just want to let everything out, you don't have to read or post this ml <3

tw for sexual trauma mention ? not sure

im really upset recently because i had to cut off the only guy i found myself comfortable being around, and guess why !! he wanted my body !!! 💯💯💯🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🍻🍻🍻🍻👏🥳🥳🍻🎈🎈 no but seriously im really upset. he was an awful texter and communicator, and he knew i had really big struggles with abandonment PLUS attachment. i had to beg him to text me back and just talk to me, which he still didn't unless i was (reluctantly) flirting with him or if i was venting to him and needed him.

we saw each other in person while he was at my work for a while, and then tried to literally have sex with me there ???????? i told him no and brushed him off since i was uncomfortable with it (it's my fucking job hello why are u trying to fuck). about a week before he came to see me, i opened up to him about my sexual trauma and disassociation issues, and he literally said "i don't even wanna touch you now" after. PLEASE TELL ME IF IM TWEAKING BUT THAT REALLY UPSET ME WTF and then also made fun of me when i was having a disassociation episode ummmmm anyway!

i texted him and again begged him to talk to me and asked him why he acted the way he did, and he apologized so i thought he'd change. HE DIDNT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

he continued to flirt and be sexual with me even though i wasn't really comfortable with it, but i was really attached so i let him get away with it even though i knew i shouldn't. then i told him how i was panicking about that old guy at my job (the one i told you about WHO GOT FIRED WE CHEERED) and he completely left me to deal with it on my own and i was PANICKING. i even texted him twice after my meeting and he still to this day hasn't texted me back (i texted two weeks ago). i haven't reached out since and he hasn't checked on me once 🔥🔥🔥🔥 me when i attach to cold nonchalant men who i think i can fix then end up hurting myself 🔥🔥🔥🔥

-🦢

Ohhhhhh classic case of a man only keeping you around because he wants to use you but he’s a fucking terrible person in every sense of the word!!!! I know this trope very well it sounds like my ex 😍 and then they only reach out when they want nudes or to sext and then they disappear again 😍 mmmm yeah do that thing again where you treat me like fucking garbage and I’m too stupid and naive to walk away 😍 so hot

Also not him trying to have sex at ur place of work….. AND THEN WHAT HE SAID WHEN YOU OPENED UP ABT YOUR TRAUMA???? HELLO?????????????? Hoooooly fucking shit I am so sorry I literally had a visceral reaction to READING THIS I want to k!ll him actually

Cold nonchalant men who ghost u unless they want sexual favors in return my beloved 🔥 exactly my type 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I am so fucking sorry jfc please tell me you’re aware that you deserve SO much better and you dodged a bullet with him 😭😭 sending all my love I guess we really are just going THRUUUU it this week. Who else up ruminating and yearning for the past so they could go back in time and do it differently 😍 feel better bby I’m here if you need anything :( 🫶

[hi-i-do-stuff]

Hello author!

Could i request Cyrus from Pokémon who falls in love with a autistic reader (if you can’t right an autistic reader thats totally fine! No pressure!) who has an interest in space and astrology.

You can write this however you may want. I don’t mind! Take your time and don’t rush.

- Anon :)

HI ANON YOU ARE GREAT FIRST OF ALL <333 I am,, so excited to write this bc this is me asf. I LOVE Cyrus pokemon he needs more content and love imo ALSO I was not aware if you wanted post, pre, or during galactic so this is just some random timeframe in the plot Please enjoy it and I hope it's what you wanted ^^

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Cyrus x Autistic Reader who enjoys Space and Astrology

gender-neutral reader No TWs for this anywhere! Enjoy!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Swaying yourself from side to side and staring at the floor as you sat on a bed, you awaited for Cyrus to enter the room. He had previously promised to spend a little bit of time with you, even if it wasn't much.

Neither of you are really the social kind of person, and that was okay, you both gravitated towards each other because of that. Often times you'd sit on his bed with him and read or talk and just be alright. It was quiet, and it was rare that the two of you would be interrupted by anything. The door opened eventually, and you looked up from staring at the floor to be greeted by Cyrus, who gave you a nod and held a finger up, to ask for you to wait for him one more moment. He then walked off into a private bathroom he had in his room. When he came out, he had his overcoat held in his arms and his hair pushed back a bit from its usual messy bird's nest of a hairstyle. He set his overcoat down on a chair in the room and made his way back over to the bed where he sat next to you, before pushing himself further onto the bed and up against the wall. You followed that motion and a silence then fell over the two of you for a bit. He had a long day, and you didn't want to intrude, but at the same time it was hard for you to sit still and be quiet for long. Not that Cyrus minded when you spoke up either. "Do you want to know something I learned today?" "Of course." You smiled at the response before continuing "The closest star system to us is called Proxima Centauri, and it's about 4.25 light-years away from earth. Isn't that neat?" You asked, looking up at him, he didn't look back, but he did nod "That is quite interesting. What else do you know that you haven't yet told me?" He asked, and your face lit up in response "Well did you know that there are more than 4,000 known exoplanets? There are more known to be out there but only around that many found yet, and also the boundary of the solar system ends in a spherical cloud called the Oort cloud. I wish I could see it; it sounds quite pretty... oh and one more thing-" You went on for a good while, and by the time you thought you might've been talking for too long, you looked up at Cyrus to see if he was bored or annoyed with you. He hadn't said anything since you started going on and you wanted to make sure you weren't speaking too much. However, you were gratefully greeted with Cyrus having his full attention to you, and he looked confused as to why you stopped talking. "Sorry, was I speaking too much?" You asked, you voice quiet as you rocked yourself subconsciously back and forth "Not at all, you're perfectly alright I promise." Your smile returned as he said that and you leaned back onto the wall once more, shifting your body so you could lean on him a bit, and he didn't move out of the way or anything which was good. "Thank you for listening to me, Cyrus, it means a lot." "Thank you for speaking to me. I would listen to you talk until the sun exploded." You giggled at that comment and sighed as the two of you fell back into a comfortable silence. At peace.

[bozepomagaj]

College AU!Trigun (part 1)

I can't believe I'm actually posting something I made on a long ass car ride LMAO. I haven't written fanfics in a long time, and this is my first time with 'x reader' fanfics so you'll have to bear with me on this one, I'm treating this as an experiment to see if I can even make these types of fanfics (also I'm a lesbian. But I'm not immune to babygirls.). Criticism is always appreciated on this blog🤝. Also wanted to mention that english is not my first language so I apologize for my poor/repetitive vocabulary. This was proof read but I also apologize in case I missed a mistake or two.

|------------------------------------------------------|

Summary: you end up at a party and save a mysterious but pretty blondie that your dear friend won't shut up about

Tw: drugging

Cw: swearing, 'questionable noises' get brought up once

Word count: 2.2k

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

There was an infamous guy on campus that seemingly, everyone knew. Rumors about him spread quickly every couple of weeks but what we do know is this:

He came here through a recommendation. Didn't have to work hard like the rest because his relative, supposedly late mother, was an up-and-coming biologist who apparently stuck her nose where she shouldn't have and got killed in an 'accident'. No records of said crash could be found, presumably because the government did their best to cover it up. He barely studies and instead spends time at parties getting drunk out of his mind but luckily he's incredibly smart which means all he really has to do is anxiously study the night before the test and he'll get incredible results everytime. He's kind, caring, cheerful, and many other positive adjectives, or so you've been told by your dear friend Meryl who's been trying to get you to meet him for the past few weeks. She always complained about how you need to 'live a little' because you never went out, always nose deep in some book studying or on your phone, never the outgoing type. She never forced you to go out but this time, she had to because you needed to meet Vash Saverem, the guy she would talk about nonstop.

You stood in front of the door, loud music blaring, people screaming in excitement as their favorite song came on, lights flashing in your eyes until all you could see is white. You could even make out some... questionable sounds but this was normal. This was college. You were going to grab your phone to call Meryl when she bursts out of the front door carrying quite a large, half-unconscious man.

"Oh my god you came afterall, I thought you were gonna ditch me!"

You rolled your eyes at the comment, she promised you 20 bucks if you finally came out of your hidey-hole and who are you to say no to that type of money?

"Yeah, I need to get out from time to time too."

"Good! Now come in!"

She grabs your hand and pulls you inside, giggling while doing so. Clearly she was a little tipsy already. She dragged you to the only clean table in the house, most likely defended it with her life to make sure it stays like that.

"So it's just the two of us?"

"Nope. Others are scattered around, I'll go and find them okay? You just stay here."

It was only then that the realization of what you're doing hit you. You're about to meet her friends. 3 other complete strangers that you only knew some bits and pieces about (except Vash) and you had no idea if they were even gonna like you. You looked around nervously, contemplating if this really was a good idea. The place was already cramped but somehow it felt even more cramped and stuffy in this moment.

"Are you like... sure about this?"

"What do you mean?"

It was honestly surprising how you didn't meet her friends yet, considering how much time she spent around them and how many random stories she told you about them. You made an image in your head of every single one of the individuals she spoke of. The heavily religious Nicholas D. (she said it stands for dickhead) Wolfwood who, despite studying theology and being the first person in the church on a Sunday morning, drank like a 40 year old man with marriage problems. Milly Thompson, a total sweetheart but also not the brightest bulb who went to the gym at least 4 days every week and was fucking shredded and him. Vash. The one and only. She was convinced you two would be great friends when you meet eachother but you doubted that, considering how many stories she told you about him going out to random parties. She left as quickly as she came, looking for her dear friends. You were never much of a drinker so you just sat there, looking at your phone, rejecting random advances from drunk guys&girls alike. 20 minutes pass by and Meryl is still nowhere to be seen. You get a little concerned, these types of parties could get... out of hand at times so you get up, looking for her. You walk around, trying your best not to bump into too many people but you're still met with an occasional 'hey' and 'watch it'. It's then that you witness a different scene. Two guys holding a blondie who was clearly drunk out of his mind, babbling something while the two tried to drag him upstairs. Weird... you thought. But it was then you saw them force his mouth open and quickly throw in a small, pink pill. You might not have been to many parties, but you've seen your fair share of movies and shows to know exactly where this was going. Other people saw the scene, too, but just ignored it.

Fucking Bystander effect.

You kept looking at the scene unfolding infront of you, your mind racing at a 100 miles per hour. You wanted to help obviously but could you really go up against two guys at the same time? Or would you just end up making the situation worse? It's then that you saw both of them hesitating as the blondies legs gave out on him. It was now or never. Quickly, you approached them, putting on the bravest face one could muster up in a situation like this.

"Hey, what are you two doing?"

Their heads snap back, fear in their eyes. Clearly they didn't expect someone to approach them while doing this. They looked at eachother stammering some excuses but you cut them off.

"If you don't mind, I'll be taking my friend back so he'll sober up."

You were quick, hoisted him on your back and dragged him to the nearest bathroom, locking the two of you in a stall. He was completely out of it and you could only hope it was because of the alcohol and not the pill. You forced his mouth open, he didn't swallow the pill. But even then, it must've melted at least a little. You grab the pill and flush it down the toilet, then proceed to slap him a few times so he could maybe, just maybe get a hold of himself.

"Hey, buddy wake up. What's your name?"

You kept trying but it wasn't working. He tried to say something but the words were slurred and nonsensical. You ran to the bar to get a cup of water then returned, making him drink it in hopes it would somehow help. You got your phone and tried to call Meryl to find out this mysterious mans identity at the very least but she wasn't picking up. Texting also didn't work. Frustration and anxiety kept building up, you never expected to be in this situation when suddenly, the guy handed you his apartment keys which you recognized immediately. Meryl had s similar pair which meant they lived in the same apartment complex. After some weird glances and bumping into people, you two managed to drag yourself out of the house, it felt like hours had passed by the time you were in front of his apartment, the poor guy still completely out of it. You unlocked the door hastily and dragged him inside. The apartment was... large. And fancy. Not really what you expected from someone like him. You look around, trying to find a bedroom and on your 4th try, you do. You drag him inside and lay him on the bed, taking off his long coat and his shirt so he doesn't overheat. You give him some more water to drink when finally, Meryl calls you back. Her voice is muffled, loud music still blaring and people talking in the background.

"Where'd you go? I can't find you anywhere."

"No shit, I'm freaking out cuz I'm at some guys's apartment."

You hear Meryls voice shift to being slightly panicked.

"What? Did they take you there? Are you okay?"

"I am fine but the guy certainly isn't! Someone gave him a fucking pill and I dragged him back to his apartment, he didn't swallow the pill so like... maybe he'll be fine."

"Holy fuck, uh, do you want me to come over or something?"

"I'll be fine but I'm going straight home after this. Maybe I can meet your friends another time."

"Yeah, yeah no problem. Sorry about all this I uh... didn't expect this."

You hang up and sigh heavily, putting your head in your hands assessing your situation. You're in a random, half-unconscious guys apartment, sitting down on the floor close to tears because this was NOT how this night was supposed to go. You were supposed to be drinking while meeting new friends and overall having a hell of a time. You decide there's no time to wallow in your misery and you get up, checking back on the guy. He's sleeping soundly, his beautiful facial features still visible by the moonlight seeping through the window. In a way he looked angelic... otherworldy. You grabbed a pen and some paper and wrote a small note.

"Dear stranger,

We don't know eachother but I dragged you home cuz you almost got roofied. If you still feel sick in the morning, please call an ambulance. I hope your hangover isn't too bad.

Ps. Here's my phone number in case you need help with anything."

You left it on the nightstand and quietly exited the apartment. You stumbled back home, absolutely wasted from... well, everything. You got changed, did your nightly routine and the moment your head hit the pillow you fell asleep, exhausted from everything that happened.

-|-

You woke up to the sound of your phone blaring and vibrating. You grabbed it with an annoyed groan slipping past your lips. You tried to turn off your alarm... but realize it was actually a call. Who the, and excuse my language, FUCK would be calling you at 6:07am? You answer with a raspy voice, not even bothering to clear your throat.

"Oh my God you actually picked up, hi! I'm the guy you helped yesterday."

And just like that you were wide awake. Memories of last night flooded your brain as panic set in again.

"Hey, hi, are you okay? Did you call an ambulance?"

"No I didn't, I'm doing fine now thanks to you. I wanted to thank you for helping me out. If I'm being honest I don't remember a thing so... I'm just glad I'm home safe. Thank you."

His voice was like honey, you couldn't tell if he actually sounded that nice or because you still weren't fully awake and being complemented this early in the morning gave you a kind of an adrenaline rush.

"It's no big deal really, it's the least I could've done."

You replied with a small giggle. Not sure what was so funny but just the fact that someone came to thank you for your good deed felt nice.

"It is a big deal though! I'm treating you to coffee or some cakes, I know a really good place. But it would be nice if I knew your name."

Overly-sweet, he was just like the cakes he mentioned. You couldn't help yourself but to smile, it's rare to find people like these today.

"Yeah, sure. The name is (Y/N) (L/N). And you, my mysterious drunken man?"

He giggled at the nickname. For someone to sound so angelic and energetic at 6:10am, he left you in an awe.

"Vash Saverem."

And with that your jaw just dropped. He was the guy you were supposed to get drunk with yesterday, chat about something random and not drag him half-dead body home, wondering if he'll be okay or not. You stayed silent for a couple seconds before nervously talking.

"Oh my God I know you. Kind of, you don't know me but- it's hard to explain okay? We'll talk more when we meet up, bye."

You could hear him protest on the other side of the phone but you quickly hung up out of shock and disbelief. It's like this couldn't get any weirder. You quickly call Meryl, she was gonna murder you for calling her this early but it would only be right to tell her about her friend, right? The phone rang once... twice... three times... four times... and then you heard a loud, pissy groan.

"Seriously. 6am? What is wrong with you."

"Remember the guy I had to drag home yesterday? Turns out it was Vash."

Thank the lord you moved your phone away from your ear because the screech she let out was ungodly.

"You're kidding right!? How do you know!? And is he even okay now?"

Her voice was panicked, you could tell she was concerned about her friend.

"Yes, yes he's fine now. He called me this morning cuz I left him my phone number in case he needed me for something. I still think you should go check on him, just in case."

Meryl hangs up hastily, most likely to run over to Vash's apartment to see how her friend is doing. You just stay there staring at the wall.

You wonder if you'll ever get those 20 bucks she mentioned.

[callsigngrim]

Fuck canon and other ramblings

Please note these are just theories done for enjoyment. Tw mentiones of blood. Character death.

(I had to rewrite this so many times so I kept it short and sweet because my brain did not want to work with me)

Ok so lets get into the gun Makarov possibly used to shoot Soap with

This is the X13 auto glock which is modeled after the the G17. This gun is listed on the official C.O.D wiki as one of the guns Makarov used. And it's also the closest one that resembles the gun used in the shooting scene. So not 100% guarantee that its the correct one. But it's as close as I could get. (moving on)

The gun uses 9mm ammunition. Dangerous yes but there have been reported cases of people surviving being shot with a 9mm.

OK so I did some digging on possible ways that Soap could have survived the gun shot wound to his head and one of the things I found was the Valkyrie program. Now the Valkyrie program was created to allow for on site (on the battlefield) blood transfusions, this comes in a kit that allows for collection of blood. And then that blood can be used for a blood transfusion to the injured soldier/person.

I have added the link if anyone is interested in reading about it in more detail please be warned that it does show explicit images containing blood and needles.

Now there are various other programs that allow for a soldier to receive blood quickly to avoid severe blood loss or even death. I touched on these very lightly but if you have any questions please feel free to ask!

Now the next one is very simple Price is a smart man and I really doubt he would have gone in blind. So the moment the dust settled the medics where there stabilizing Soap and getting him out of there to receive the right medical attention he needs.

The list of physical and mental problems is going to be a long one but he would have survived.

Now those are the more realistic theories. And I highly recommend you read @moronic-validity post linked here:

Now onto the more crazy theories. (Aka a fanfic I will be writing because I haven't done angst in a while)

In Kingsman they brought back one of the agents using alpha gel. "Alpha-Gel is a substance used by Statesman that can protect the brain from a headshot wound. After the Alpha-Gel is applied, the agent is brought back to the laboratory, where nanites are used to repair tissue damage in the brain."

What if they used something like alpha gel to help Johnny? But just like the alpha gel it causes severe amnesia. Soap forgets everything and everyone from 141. He spends months in recovery. Simon is there every day trying to get Johnny to remember the team (him) but nothing is working.

Or

After being declared KIA.The CIA got involved with a revival project and the first subject that showed promise was former Sergeant John Soap Mactavish.

Entry #1: Test subject 114 is responding well to chemical ****** no further deterioration has been detected. Subject has remained mute during first session. A green glow has been detected in the subject's eyes. Close observation will continue.

Entry#2: Subject seems stable and is taking orders. No indication that test subject 114 has any recollection of former team members. Subject only responds to previous call sign ****

Entry#14: Subject has been training for *hours a day. It has been noted that the subject has increased stamina. Upon further observation it has also been noted that the subject has episodes of extreme emotional outbursts. The dosage of chemical*** will be increased to ***milligrams every *hours. Observations to continue.