#+ your birth certificate

[lr31o]

i’m gonna go feral this job is asking so much from me in terms of government requirements, i hate pointless bureaucracy so much i’m just going to be working retail come fuicking oooon

[robobee]

once again tormented by how Declan lived in a horror movie his entire life. you're two years old. your parents decide to kill this random new brother they pulled out of nowhere one day with no pregnancy. you display basic human decency to the baby (you are hardly 3 years old) and then your parents agree not to kill it. one day within 6 months of that you wake up and your mom has been replaced by a woman that looks *exactly* like her but Is Not Her and you can't verbalize how you feel about this (you are four) but you Dislike It, and your real mom never comes back so maybe you start to forget why you feel so uncomfortable with cloth mom in the first place. you have no access to any other people except this thing posing as your mom, the random baby that you are told can and will bring stuff out of his dreams, and your dad who is NEVER HOME. and then you are five years old, and every night you stay up to watch your little brother lest he bring back anything like, God Forbid, a human being.

He brings back a baby. He tells you it's supposed to be a better brother, because you suck, because you don't sleep and you live in a house with two fake people and a father who slowly seems to be forgetting who you are. You are six.

You are eight. Your dad starts taking you with him. You get thrown into car trunks and listen to him get beat the shit out of. You realise everyone wants your family dead, at best. Your father seems to have entirely forgotten he was ever your father, and seems only interested in the brother who dislikes you because you don't coddle him like everyone else does. Your father ignores the new dreamt thing, so you and your strange mother take care of it. You are nine.

[arachnerd-8-legs]

really disappointing that bunjywunjy had to be pestered twice just to quietly remove their reblog after using their huge platform to encourage garbage like raving about the lesbian estonian soviet flag and how 'new pride flag just dropped' so people could go 'ooh pretty' about a flag that was forced onto us by ppl who wanted our culture gone and oppressed us for about a century in total if not more.

to say nothing or not show anything of the truth about that flag and quietly remove the reblog felt more like it was done out of obligation (and you didn't agree) rather than care for the subject matter that is still a fresh wound in our country's memory. it's only been 33 years since it ended.

I'd rather you make the mistake about something you didn't know (eastern european history is easy for westeners to overlook, because we're not a big country like them, we're not england or france or spain or germany) and admit/apologize for said mistake or even just outright state that you don't actually care rather than say nothing and quietly remove something so that people would stop talking about it

[shotmrmiller]

Anything to playfight with the 141. Honestly I don’t care to win (I wouldn’t anyway) but i just want to bite and be thrown across the bed by four burly men😔

play fighting with 4 men in one room is wild because one of em's body mass alone takes up a whole corner but i'm interested and you know that it's gonna end up with them trying to "teach" you some "moves" that is just them wedging their wide ass waists between your legs like

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 82

Lex Luthor is admittedly, a very petty man. A very petty man who absolutely despises a certain kryptonian. So what if he made a clone- the alien got mind controlled practically every other week, could anyone blame him for being concerned?!

He’s more than a little annoyed that said clone was stolen from Cadmus, even though they had assured him repeatedly that they knew what they were doing. Trying to steal Gotham’s cryptid’s child was not a good idea- even he knew that! So of course they take the clone and the kryptonian discovers said clone and�� rejects it. Huh. He should probably take advantage of that. 

But he is a petty man. 

If the alien is going to reject the child then he’ll just have to prove to be the better father. He’ll of course be the best father, if only to shove it in the other’s face. Really, how hard could it be?

[snobgoblin]

imagine you ask Valdemar for their birth certificate and they pull out a stone tablet with symbols literally nobody even recognizes and it's just crumbling to dust at this point and they don't acknowledge it

[monsterfuckermilligan]

i have a theory that the baby!jack fanaticism in the fandom partly comes from the fact that on june 26th, 2017 (less than two months after jack was introduced as a character) the us supreme court ruled that queer couples were allowed to adopt in all 50 states. so naturally, as kelly died giving birth to jack, dean was in the midst of his widower arc, and the fandom thought that jack was going to be a baby, we had a wave of romanticization of infant adoption for destiel.

[toxicroyjamie]

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like Simon probably genuinely loves Jamie like he is his own son, but would never ask Jamie to call him Dad.

I totally agree!

I don't think Jamie would call him Dad either tbh. It would be different if Jamie never knew his father, but his dad was in his life and he terrorized him for years, so "Dad" is not a compliment

[mondaymelon]

how old are you

haha. i dont feel comfortable answering that question.

this is... awfully blunt. like no context straight up- dunno why people are digging into personal things and serious things in my inbox now like did i write something that made yall think id give out private info like that ( nothing against you btw ) ??

its common and known knowledge that to. yk. stay safe online that you shouldn't reveal your legal name, age, blablabla whatever. please understand that i don't feel safe revealing this information to random people online that i don't trust.

for you to read my ffs, all you need to know is that i am a minor who is still in school. if this is the same anon that sent the nsfw ask earlier ( if it's not, sorry ) please stop . my blog doesn't really have relevance to things like that as im writing perfectly non-explicit things : )

ahaha. a hi next time would have been nice /hj

[rosiethedragongeek]

Honestly, Berk had the right idea. We should all have names like that. Hiccup?? Why not. Bucket??? YES. MULCH??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? SNOTLOUT?? SNOTLOUT!!!! PINACLE of 'names so bizarre they loop back around to being fine again' (or maybe i'm just desensetized to it lol)

[badolmen]

I don’t know what young person with their own laptop/computer/whatever device for the first time needs to hear this but:

Get yourself a goddamn password notebook. Label the pages alphabetically. Add your important log-in information, passwords, etc. Put the notebook in your underwear drawer and sleep easy knowing that if your device is stolen, trashed, or bricked, you will not spend three hours manually recreating new passwords or accounts.

This has been a PSA.

[nex-arson]

After tim meets billy, he immediately starts trying to legally change his last name to batson

[constantly-deactivated]

"By now, you should know that one of the hidden roles of the doctor/dock-ore is to de-liver babies & turn them into "products" of a ship/vessel to be sold in commerce using the birth certificate as the certificate of manifest

Metaphorically speaking, the word ore in the word doctor/dock-ore is you (the baby). You represent the ore because you are the battery" that is being used as energy to power the artificial matrix of the Dark Forces. So, when you were de-livered from the body/vessel/ship onto the dock, you (the ore) was delivered & put onto the dock.

Hence, the word doctor/dock-ore. This is why the person. who delivers babies in a hospital is called doctor. The doctor's/doc's ("dock") role is to deliver the baby/ore or "dock" the "ore" onto the shore, so it can be sold & used as energy"

Know The Law🤔

[grimalkinmessor]

Lawlight/Terraito AU where L and Light aren't quiiiite together yet but they're close to it, and Ryuk is Light's toxic ass ex-boyfriend in crime who rolls up just in time to make L insanely jealous and make Light seriously contemplate commiting murder again thank you

[will-pilled]

Me seeing the same people who called me a woman because I have a uterus and a vagina call Imane Khelif a man (apparently genitals don't make gender anymore?)

[iero]

The passport application process as a first time passport applicant is so daunting to me. Worst $300 I’ve ever had to spend and you don’t get that money back if your app gets denied?! What the fuck?