#+ that other joke he said recently where after someone asked about google's suggested search for j2 being 'are they still friends?'

[aliusfrater]

when are you acknowledging the et tu brute fiasco you got any commentary on that or what

i guess so? not an interesting enough part of j2 to be constantly generating commentary about imo; endearing (in terms of how j2 talk about it) at best, annoying (in terms of the discourse) at worst

[aleteia-ff]

A Decade To Find You | Part 4

Also Read On: AO3 | FF.net

Thank you everyone for the support! One more chapter left to go after this one ^^

I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Astrid didn't think much of the guy she bumped into just after midnight on January 1, 2010. It was just a hasty apology, a quip and a lop-sided grin from his side. It wasn't supposed to be special. 

Hiccup felt the same way. That was, until he locked eyes with her again one year later. And the year after that. And the next.

But somehow, their destinies only seemed to intertwine that one night a year... On New Year's Eve.

Hiccstrid, New Year’s Eve Fic. Spanning the entire past decade.

Chapter 4: New Year’s Eve 2017-2019, Part 1

December 31st, 2017

Tonight, Astrid was a woman on a mission. To fix the mistakes she’d made. To retaliate against fate, and return the middle finger it had given her last year. Shove it up its ass.

Because what were the fucking odds of finally getting time alone with the guy she’d been intrigued by for years, making her think her life is finally going somewhere, that there is a light at the end of the seemingly endlessly meandering tunnel? Only for her to break her phone by falling on her ass. And lose his number.

She’d found out too late. Too late to rush after him and give him her contact details instead. Too late to try and figure out where Hiccup’s cousin might be getting his nose fixed so that she might rush into the ER like the pathetic mess he’d turned her into. Because he had, in a way she couldn’t quite explain.

She’d adored every second she’d spent with him. She’d wanted to kiss him, to hold him, ask him to take her home and never let her leave again. Because he’d felt like safety, a sense of security, the direction she’d been looking for that year. And her heart, which had been beating too quickly all night, had completely dropped when she’d pulled her phone out of her back pocket, intending to ask him whether his drama-fuelled cousin had made it out alive, and had found it basically snapped in half.

She’d tried every method Internet-experts suggested to recover the data. She’d taken her phone to a specialised shop, where they’d informed her that there was nothing more they could do for her, and that perhaps she should turn on cloud sync on her next phone. As if she hadn’t reached that conclusion herself.

After that, she’d spent her free time in the first weeks of January digging through every social media website and search engine she could think of. But Hiccup hadn’t lied about his lack of social media. No matter how long she tried, she couldn’t find a guy with the same cute freckles, gap-toothed smile and messed up mop of auburn hair she just wanted to bury her hands in. No “Hiccup”. And it didn’t help that that nickname was the only thing she knew about him. She didn’t know his cousin’s name, she knew what he studied but not where. She hadn’t asked him if he lived in Berk or just celebrated New Year’s here. She hadn’t a clue how old he was, or what his last name might be.

If only she hadn’t tried to be funny by filling in his contact name as Fake Foot Guy. Then maybe he would’ve put in his full name. Then she could have Googled a lot better, or even asked around in Berk itself… After all, if only his friends knew him as ‘Hiccup’, she highly doubted simply that nickname and a physical description would get her anywhere. He couldn’t be the only tall, Berkian guy with auburn hair and green eyes. And she didn’t know how to explain what it was exactly that made him feel so, so special.

Towards the end of January, when she had been starting to seriously consider going to public media channels such as the radio and TV to ask if anyone knew a Berkian Hiccup, she finally sort-of regained her senses. He was just a guy, right? Sure, it had been a month since she’d last seen him, and she still couldn’t get him out of her head, he kept showing up in her dreams every other night. His bright green eyes peering into hers, his long arms wrapped around her as he kissed over and over…

But Hiccup hadn’t contacted her either. He had her full name, could basically look up and contact her anywhere. She’d kept her eye on all of her apps to see if she’d received messages from people she didn’t have added… But he hadn’t. Perhaps he wasn’t that special after all. Maybe it was just her most recent obsession, filling the void that would normally be filled by another Netflix series. Desperately trying to tag along on his journey, since her own life wasn’t heading anywhere else.

She had never been that person. And if she did find Hiccup again, she didn’t want him to get to know that Astrid. She wanted to make his life better, like she felt he could do to hers.

But as the months passed, and December came around, she couldn’t help but start thinking of again. Because she’d actually done it this year. She was getting her life back on track.

Remember that joke you made about me being an undercover cop last year? Well, I signed up for the police academy. I’m currently top of my class. And you helped me get there.

She didn’t know why she hadn’t considered it until Hiccup’s joke had stirred in her mind. But after the first few months of training, she was convinced it had been the right choice. It allowed her to help people, and to protect them. Which was exactly what she’d always wanted.

And, as much as she felt silly for it, she simply wanted to tell Hiccup. Apologise for losing his number, while also admitting that maybe, it wasn’t the right time for them to meet. But she felt better now. And she really wanted to try again.

She wasn’t superstitious. But she just needed fate to work in her favour one more New Year’s Eve, and allow her to find Hiccup once again.

She had never consciously looked for him before. All the previous years, it had simply happened for no apparent reason. But she didn’t want to rely on something so intangible, so unsure. Hoffersons made their own luck, after all.

Hence, she visited every part of the inner city of Berk she’d seen him in before. The stall at which they’d bumped into each other, the cafe she’d wanted to hug him in, the square where they had finally talked. But he wasn’t in any of those places, and she figured it was too early for anyone to be at a club.

So she pulled up her jacket, and made another round, trying to tell herself that she wasn’t crazy and desperate, just hopeful. That even Heather had told her to try, because Astrid would clearly regret it if she didn’t, and to bring Hiccup back with her to the house party she was throwing if she didn’t want to lose him again in the inner city crowd.

And then she saw him.

He was on the ice skating rink, rounding the corner significantly more skilled than seven years ago, a smile on his face that told her he was actually enjoying himself. Regardless of his decreased clumsiness, he still managed to bump into a small, blond woman instead of the banister he’d been aiming for, making Astrid chuckle to herself because it was simply adorable. But Hiccup kept laughing too, his slightly embarrassed but overall delighted smile not fading as the woman wrapped her arms around his neck.

And kissed him.

Time cruelly slowed down at that moment, making sure that Astrid saw exactly how Hiccup buried his hand in the woman’s hair, and returned the kiss.

It shouldn’t hit her as hard as it did. It shouldn’t make her feel like someone had punched her right in her stomach, her legs giving out as she was engulfed by an overwhelming sense of panic. The urge to run, to get as far away as possible. But her feet belonged to someone else, keeping her fixed in place and forcing her to look, for what felt like an eternity.

Until Hiccup broke the kiss and glanced up, the green eyes she doubted she could ever forget meeting hers. Widening in shock, a word that looked an awful lot like her name forming on his lips.  

She fled. She turned around, her back towards him, and she walked away as calmly as she could. Swallowing away the tears she didn’t think she could shed over someone she barely knew.

She’d missed her chance.

--------

January 1st, 2019 

No one at university had told Hiccup that graduating as an engineer did absolutely nothing for someone’s ability to turn themselves into a fool. Because he was definitely still incredibly good at that.

Always a fool for Astrid Hofferson.

Even though they’d only really talked to each other once. Despite her not calling him while she’d said she would.

He knew he hadn’t messed up his number, and he could come up with a thousand other reasons she hadn’t called him back, such as her phone breaking or her being snapped away by Thanos. But it was the reality that he’d forced himself to accept after he’d looked up too many of her social media accounts and had typed out many, many messages, only to delete them again. Whatever connection he had felt, she didn’t feel the same way. He was a tragic kindred spirit of La La Land, thinking he’d won the Oscar while the accountants of fate had simply messed up the cards. The idea, the notion that there was something between them, almost akin to soulmates, which had once seemed like a valuable Banksy painting, had been shredded and reduced to scraps.

Or perhaps it had been more like self-destruction on his end after all. A hope he’d clung to because she was just that damn beautiful.

But he had to move on with his actual life instead of believing in fairy tales. Only British princes got to marry girls who were way out of their league, after all.

Not that 2017 hadn’t been good to him. Part of moving on had been saying yes when Camicazi had told him she’d stop stealing his trash if he allowed her to steal him away to a restaurant instead. They’d connected and had quickly started dating. He had dated before, but she’d become his first long-term girlfriend, and he couldn’t say he regretted it. It was nice to have someone to talk to, someone to share the house with that still felt too big for him alone. Someone to hug, to kiss, to get support from and to return it to. He had fallen in love, Astrid Hofferson forgotten in the same way she’d forgotten about him. Or so he’d thought.

Until he’d seen her again on the New Year’s Eve of 2017.

She’d looked stunned to see him, her face struck by devastation until she’d turned away from him. Exactly the opposite of what he’d expected. Because of course he had anticipated seeing her, had mentally prepared himself for the awkward dance in which she’d pretend to have called him after all, or that they’d never exchanged numbers to begin with. He had planned to tell her that it didn’t matter anymore, because he’d found someone who made him happy.

It never came to that, since she fled the moment their eyes had met. He’d always thought she wasn’t the kind of person to run from any problem. But apparently he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. Which was logical, they had only spoken once, after all, but he’d had this feeling, and he just… tried not to dwell too much on it.

But then Cami moved away from Berk for a job she absolutely adored. They’d agreed that Hiccup would follow her after his own graduation that summer, that they’d find an apartment together and that Hiccup would sell his house in Berk after all. He still hadn’t found what bound him to the city so much, after all, thought that it had perhaps been Cami.

Instead, they simply forgot about each other. Their calls and texts lessened every week, their conversations becoming more detached and less intimate as the weeks went by. And while neither of them knew why it happened, the only upside was that it was seemingly mutual. Or at least, that was the conclusion they drew when they broke up by the end of summer.

Their split had definitely hurt him, but when he had worked through his first grief and evaluated their relationship, he couldn’t draw another conclusion than that what had happened was incredibly weird. That he had forgotten about Cami that easily, while he’d never been able to truly forget Astrid. Especially when the winter months came around and he was properly exhausted off the back of his first months of full-time work, she invaded his thoughts again, with her beautiful smile and confident attitude. He started to hope, somewhere, that he might see her again on New Year’s Eve. Just one more year. Because he wondered how she was doing, and wanted to at the very least ask her why she hadn’t called. So that he could put a definitive end to the saga that, next to the Star Wars sequels, had been haunting him for the entire decade.

Which is why he felt like a fool, because for all of tonight, he hadn’t been able to stop scanning the crowds in every bar and club he, Snotlout and Fishlegs visited. Actively looking for Astrid was a step further than simply hoping to see her, after all. But if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t enjoy the loud music and the close-quarters dancing all that much. He never had.

It had been in vain of course. Every other year, he hadn’t been looking. They’d simply found each other. So by the end of the night, when he got to his bicycle, he logically hadn’t seen a sign of Astrid Hofferson.

Until he was done tipsily fiddling with his lock and intuitively checked behind him as he swung his leg over the saddle. And he saw her.  

She looked like a vision, her blond hair bound into a ponytail, her face slightly pink from the cold. She was dressed more casually than the last time he’d seen her at a club, but stunning nevertheless. He couldn’t imagine there was a day on which she wasn’t gorgeous, inside or outside.

But she would never burst that particular fantasy bubble. Because she wasn’t interested in him. As she was currently proving by getting on the back of a motorcycle, her arms barely fitting around the waist of a tall, dark-haired man with four times the shoulders he had. Laughing, as if the bodybuilder had made her laugh in a way he’d never gotten the chance to.

Then she flung her ponytail over her shoulder. And her eyes met his eyes, her delight instantly deflating into an expression he was all too familiar with. Which he’d seen enough in the past decade.

Pity.

She started to get off the motorcycle, her eyes set on him. But instead of letting that phase him, he finally found the strength to decide that he didn’t need her apologies, let alone her pity. Not now.

She was free to call him if she had something to say. He wasn’t going to let her string him along. He’d had nearly an entire decade of that, of life, of fate having its twisted way with him. By taking his father away, and by hypnotising him with a prize he could never win.

So he pushed himself off and cycled away, heading straight home.

--------

December 31st, 2019 | Part 1 

Hiccup’s New Year’s Eve resolution stayed with him for the entirety of 2019. He had focused on his work, on building a life for himself that would set him up for the next decade. The hopefully not-so-roaring twenties.

A life independent of his father’s memories, of the weird connection to Astrid he still reminisced about from time to time. But he didn’t act on it. He knew there was no use in it. She still hadn’t called, after all. And he hadn’t looked at any of her social media pages to see if she had ended up with her motorcycle hunk.

It wasn’t as if he needed her profile pictures to remember what she looked like, after all.

But it was fine like this. He didn’t need her in his life, and repeated that to himself every time he caught his mind wandering off to her again. Every time he started wondering what it might be like to see her again.

In those moments he simply reminded himself that he stood above that now. His dreams and creativity were meant for his designs, for his drawings, for stories that happened to people other than himself. If the past year, hell, the past decade, had taught him anything, it was that he should stay practical. By taking one step at a time, towards a clear, definable goal that didn’t depend on coincidences.

He had been happier for it. It had given him a sense of fulfilment, of independence to be standing on his own feet - foot - and call the shots instead of wondering about the what-ifs. What if Dad had still been alive? What if Astrid likes me after all and her not calling me is one big insecurity-fuelled misunderstanding?

So he had asked himself what would actually make him happy on New Year’s Eve, too. And he had made the boring, very adult decision to, for the first time in a decade, stay home. His feet propped up on the couch, a bag of Dutch doughnuts on his coffee table, the entire season of The Mandalorian ready on his TV to help him get through the post-The Rise of Skywalker void. Followed by The Witcher if he felt like staying up. It gave him every opportunity to cradle his new rescue dog, Toothless, to his chest whenever they both got spooked by the fireworks, and to simply be himself.

Comfortable and tucked in in his favourite sleeved blanket, he found himself wondering why he hadn’t done this before. Going clubbing with the New Year’s Eve crowds sucked, and the Berkian weather tonight was even worse than normal, the streets covered in snow and ice. He’d already seen Gobber and Uncle Spitelout that morning, and had agreed to meet with Fishlegs, Snotlout and the twins in the next days.

There was really no one else he needed to see on New Year’s Eve.

Not anymore.

And he’d made his peace with that.

He could be perfectly happy in the absence of the most beautiful and interesting woman he’d met in the twenty-six years he’d been alive. 

[nocturnal-jeon]

𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜➛ 𝚔𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐 {𝟹}

*final part*

The tension within the Kim household forced the oxygen outside the open back door, where you sat and watched as your daughter played on the grass. Taehyung had been gone for the past week and a half as he was working on promotional stuff with the members. And while you usually missed him when he get was gone for any period or time, you found yourself wishing he was gone for longer if that meant eliminating the numerous awkward encounters the two of you shared.

It had been just over a month since you discovered Taehyung’s google searches. It’s been a month since you and Taehyung have shared any form of physical intimacy. It’s been a month since you learned that your ex husband was going to fight for custody.

It’s been a month since you could breathe freely.

The thought of having another baby quickly slipped your mind as your focus was on keeping the one you already had. Your daughter was flourishing regardless of the court hearings being scheduled that focused on her. And while you have not touched Taehyung in over four weeks, y/d/n loved spending time with him. She seemed to have the most amount of fun with him, since unlike you, his energy levels were constantly soaring and he could go hours with a smile on his face and not get tired of it. 

You missed him. You missed his touch. You missed the way he would kiss your shoulders every morning when he got up. Now, it seemed that he would just get out of bed without saying anything and go get ready, not playfully inviting you to join him in the shower like most mornings. You two slept with your backs to each other, or at least that’s what you thought. 

But Taehyung would stare at your back and imagine his long fingers tracing over the delicate skin. You mostly slept in tank tops, so the view of your shoulders was a plus. The way your very faint but visible back muscles flexed whenever you stretched or moved your arms would cause the tiniest smile to creep up onto his face. You were still you in some aspects. 

Typically, you and Taehyung would sleep facing each other, cracking jokes to each other like schoolgirls having a sleepover. He would caress your face and give you kisses, praising your good looks and personality to the point where your face was as red as a tomato. But you loved it. 

The house was cold without the warmth of your shared love with Taehyung filling the corridors. 

“Mommy, watch!” your daughter exclaimed, harshly pulling you out of your thoughts. After blinking a few times, you looked at your daughter who was extremely close to getting the perfect cartwheel. “Are you watching?” she pressed as she pushed her hair out of her face. You nodded. “I’m watching, baby,” you said with a small smile. 

And with a smile lacking several teeth, your daughter tried, but somewhat failed, at doing a cartwheel. Nonetheless, your hands found each other as you clapped, cheering as well. “That was so good! So much better than what mommy can do,” you said as you kissed her head when she made her way over to you. She rested her head on your propped up knees as she looked at you with eyes that were identical to your ex. You used to love those eyes. Now, they just resulted in shivers covering every centimeter of your skin. 

“Yeontan won’t play with me,” she pouted cutely. You chuckled and looked over at the little black and brown puppy who sat in the grass. “Go get that ball over there. Taehyung taught him fetch recently, so go try it out,” you suggested. Using her endless amounts of energy, she ran for the striped ball and threw it into the air, to which Yeontan ran and caught it in his mouth. 

You watched for a few minutes before your phone buzzed in your pocket. 

“Hello?” you spoke. “Hi, Y/n, it’s your lawyer. Listen, a court date has been set for tomorrow since I know your ex husband is very keen on speeding up the process. So, I suggest you find a babysitter for your daughter,” your lawyer began as you listened intently. “It’s always a lot for a child, no matter how young, to be in a room like that under those circumstances.”

“Yeah, I think I’m just going to leave her with my mom. I’ve already spoken to her about this,” you said as you anxiously nibbled on the skin covering your finger. “Maybe you should have your husband come. The support is always great,” your lawyer stated. “I do want Taehyung there. But he’s been busy and I haven’t even told him about this court stuff, so I think I’ll just ride solo tomorrow,” you said, though you could hear your lawyer sighing on the other line. 

“Whatever you wish, Y/n. Let’s not let this bastard take your kid.” You chuckled. “Yeah. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow,” you replied. After saying your parting remarks and hanging up the phone, you put your face in your hands and let out a loud sigh. 

Within a minute or two, you heard the familiar squeals of your daughter. 

“Tae!” Looking up, you saw your daughter running into Taehyung’s long arms as he stood in the backyard. You didn’t know he was coming back today. “Hey, princess!” he excitedly said, picking her up and swinging her around. “Did you miss me?” he asked as he sat her on his hip and kissed her cheek. She nodded quickly. “Tannie played with me today,” she said as she looked down at the dog who excitedly waited by Taehyung’s feet for some love. 

It seemed you were the only one not excited to see him. Well, you missed him. But things were so tense between the two of you that seeing him caused anxiety. And as you watched him pick up Yeontan, too, the two of you made eye contact. You gave a small smile and he gave one back. That was all you two did for that whole day. 

Your daughter and Taehyung played outside all day long until you finally called them inside for dinner. The conversation at the table mainly consisted of your daughter telling Taehyung everything that he missed and Taehyung explaining to her what he did while he was gone and how her uncles were. You just kind of sat there. You felt as though you were a third party, not watching directly but through something. As if you were seated on the couch watching their cute interactions unfold on the television screen. 

You were close enough to where you could understand what was going on, but you felt far away to the point where entering the conversation wasn’t possible. 

Taehyung offered to do the dishes after dinner, and while you usually would have insisted you do them, you gave him a nod and went to go give your daughter a bath and put her to bed. 

Taehyung sadly cleaned the plates and utensils, longing for contact, as well. He felt that space was what you needed at the time, but didn’t realize that there was such thing as too much space. He didn’t know that you had read his google searches, because if he had, the first thing he would have done when he came back home was explain how it’s not what it looked like. But. In your head, it seemed to be what it looked like and it hurt like a motherfucker. 

After cleaning up the table and your daughter’s toys, Taehyung walked up the stairs to go give y/d/n a kiss goodnight, but his heart warmed at the sight of you curled up beside her as the two of you soundly slept in your daughter’s small bed. He decided that it would be good for you to sleep with someone who was giving you affection, which he thought he shouldn’t do, so he turned off the lights and went to sleep alone in your once-shared bedroom, the sounds of Yeontan’s breathing lulling him to sleep. 

When you awoke much earlier in the morning, you groggily got dressed into your most professional outfit and got yourself together. Since it was so early and your daughter was no doubt sleepy, you gathered her up into your arms as she slept soundly in her pajamas and placed her in the car. And you drove her to your mom’s house. Your mom waited in the doorway with a tired smile on her lips as she welcomed her sleepy granddaughter into her arms. And with a ‘good luck’ and a kiss on the cheek, she sent you on your way.

You had never been to a courtroom before, so as you walked in, the bland decorations and dying plants really put it in your mind that this wasn’t a happy place. This is where futures got destroyed, dreams got crushed, and children got taken away. You sat next to your lawyer at the table in the front and tied up your hair so that it wouldn’t be a distraction. But at this point, you were waiting for any distraction whatsoever. 

Your ex walzted into the room with a flashy suit and grin on his face. He waved to you, which consequently resulted in a light scolding from his lawyer. They sat at their table. And as the judge looked around the room and saw that all necessary parties were there, her gavel hit it’s surface and court was now in session. 

You sat in a daze as your ex went up to speak his case, using big vocabulary words to hide the fact that he didn’t graduate from high school and that he was, in fact, a man of smarts and a man who was mentally capable to take care of his daughter. You, however, couldn’t gage the emotions of the judge. 

And you went up there, looking down the whole time, as you explained how much your daughter meant to you. How in the nine months you bonded when you carried her, you realized that you could never lose her in any way possible. And that she needed her mother. Always. 

The judge wrote stuff down as you spoke, nodding occasionally at your words. 

“Are there any other people in this room today who can testify on either side to their character?” the judge asked as she scanned the room. You, at this point, had stopped listening and felt numb. But when you saw the Gucci label on a suit walk by your table, your eyes widened and your senses came back to you. 

There Taehyung sat where you did once before in a designer suit that put your ex to shame. You hadn’t told him about this court stuff. You hadn’t told him about the court date. As far as you knew, he knew nothing. But. He knew everything. He gave a small smile to you before clearing his throat. 

“Your honor, as I wondered how custody hearings went, i did tons of research on divorce and such. But then I realized that does the law really matter?” he hypothetically asked, which caused the judge to look confused. Well, to say you felt stupid about the google search stuff was an understatement, but you were curious to hear what he had to say. 

“I feel that it’s simply a matter of who has y/d/n’s best interest at heart. And Y/n has it. She constantly weighs every tiny or major decision over whether it’ll be best for her daughter or not. Y/n has been an exemplary mother to her young daughter. Not once has she been late to pick her up from school, unlike her ex husband. Not once has she failed to provide a hot meal for her daughter, unlike her ex husband. Y/n places the life and wellbeing of her daughter above all else.”

“And as I watch them interact at home, i know that they have an extraordinary bond that should not be placed at risk. And though I feel us wanting to expand our family is a private matter, all I have to say about it is this. Y/n would not have even considered adding to our family if she didn’t think she would be able to properly care for and love both children.”

“Her daughter is her life. Though she was still extremely young when she had her, from day 1, Y/n was only thinking about her daughter and what would be best for her. Y/d/n is a wild, crazy, and extremely aware little girl. And she will notice something is different. And do I think a drastic change like one her ex is asking for will benefit her now or in the long run? No. I do not.”

Tears poured out of your eyes as you held onto every word Taehyung so beautifully spoke, your heart rattling in its cage. You could see that Taehyung was tearing up, too, as he spoke. And as the judge excused him and Taehyung went back to go sit down, you reached out for his hand and gently squeezed it. The first form of physical affection performed in months causing both of you to feel a sense of hapiness that hasn’t been felt in a long time. 

Looking up at the judge with hopeful eyes, you took a deep breath, expecting the worst. 

“After looking into both of you,” the judge said as she looked between you and your ex, “I’ve learned that you, sir, have missed your AA meetings. Is that so?” she asked as she looked directly at your ex. He nodded shamefully. 

“That already doesn’t put you in a good light. But after listening to such a moving testimony in favor of your ex wife, it would be unjust for this court to not rule in favor of her.” Your eyes widened as that spark of hapiness covered every inch of your body. “However, orginally, I was going to just resort back to your previous arrangement, but having heard this news about these missed AA meetings, the court is ruling that Y/n Y/l/n have sole custody of your daughter, Y/d/n. Indefinitely.” And with the bang of another gavel, court was adjourned.

You stared at the carpet of the court room for a few seconds, taking in all that just happened. You had your daughter forever. She was yours. Indefinitley. 

Turning to look at Taehyung, who stood in the aisle with a smile on his face, did not expect you to throw yourself into his arms, your body shaking as you cried. Holding you close, Taehyung stroked your hair and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he gently rocked your body. 

You looked up at him. “How did you know?” you asked. He shrugged. “That’s not important right now. But, I figured you knew about the google searches and I want to set the record straight, okay, darling?” You nodded. “I don’t want to divorce you. Never. I just wanted to do some research, is all,” he said as his thumbs wiped your tears. You smiled. 

“I’ve missed my big baby,” he mumbled as his forehead rested on yours. You chuckled. “I’ve missed you too, Mr. Kim,” you replied. Softly, but eventually with more pressure and passion, Taehyung kissed you for the first time in a month. And it felt like the moment when you two shared your first kiss on your first date many years ago. 

Pulling away and holding onto your hands, Taehyung kissed your cheek. “Let’s go get our baby, hm?” You smiled at his words and nodded as the two of you left that depressing place together. The two of you spent the rest of the day with your mom and your daughter, laughter being shared that was once a thing of the past. 

And you and Taehyung did start to try again for more babies. And though the process took longer than you wanted, there were soon three little Taehyung’s and Y/n’s running around the house with their big sister. And Taehyung was right. All your kids felt the same amount of love all the time. Not once did they ever feel like you didn’t love them. 

And just like your bond with your daughter, your love for Taehyung grew into something that was just as extraordinary and rare. 

You finally had your flower babies. And your garden finally felt complete.  

[i-love-regenerations]

Sign Me Up For That

There are far worse things than failure...

(Something else I wrote a while ago - dark humour warning)

“I’ve got something you’ll really like,” said Claire’s friend Judie when they were talking on the phone one evening.

“Another knock-off kitchen gadget?” Judie often got stuff from sales or offers in magazines.

“Nope, a way you can go and cuddle babies at the hospital,”

“I can’t do that,” said Claire “I’m not good at that sort of thing!”

“You could be. They’re really short of volunteers,”

“If they’re that desperate for staff, they’d best call Ingeus - another place I have no intention of going to anytime soon!”

Claire had applied for a lot of similar work – both voluntary and paid – a while ago. If she was any good, she would be doing it already. And that had been when she was unemployed and available all the time. She’d now found a fairly reasonable job at an estate agents and this position could well be weekday afternoons anyway.

“Seriously, can you at least Google it? Are you still there?” asked Judie.

“Yes. I’ll Google it later, with the malware scanner on!”

“That’s a great start! Come on, it’ll give you loads of self-esteem!”

“Loads of spam, more likely!” said Claire.

“You aren’t worried about spam when you’re downloading dodgy movies!”

“I know, but I get some satisfaction from watching movies!”

“You don’t get any from holding babies then? Okay…”

“No, I don’t!” Claire was getting annoyed. “I don’t do it because I would never get past the interview! How do you know so much about it anyway? Did you see it on an American documentary?”

“Possibly!”

“Yes then! Can’t I just come round to yours and play with the kittens?” asked Claire. Her priorities certainly weren’t the same as a couple of years ago. “It would save me a lot of hassle and I could watch a movie at the same time!”

“Not right now, I’m watching Bear Grylls,” said Judie.

“Oh gawd,”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“One, the man is a plonker. Two, I’m not eating anything you’ve cooked now, I have no idea what might be in it!”

Claire decided it was probably a good idea to rustle up an application before Judie suggested any other documentary-inspired ways to spend the evening, such as digging around in the local park for something to eat!

“I’ve got an interview tonight,” Claire said when she went to see Judie after work the next day.

“It’s at ten o’clock at night though. That doesn’t sound remotely dodgy, does it?”

“Sick babies don’t all do office hours,” said Judie. She kind of had a point but you’d think the recruitment office would still be nine to five.

Perhaps they were in there typing rejection letters, Claire thought sarcastically. She’d done some Google searching last night and noticed that some of the baby holding programmes in America had very long waiting lists. If the same applied here, that could be a lot of letters!

“Well, I’m going to get a big fat no anyway,” said Claire.

“How do you know?” asked Judie.

“None of the places I applied to wanted me three years ago, why should they now?”

“I dunno, more experience?”

“From an estate agents!? If they were sitting around cuddling babies all day in the one you went to, how on Earth did you get a flat?” Claire asked jokingly.

“Listen,” said Judie, with her serious face on, “It’s really good for babies and I know you would love it too. Can't you use your imagination? I read about babies who’ve been born on drugs, they need holding all the time so they can recover,”

“I can imagine, I was watching videos of it online last night, while you were watching Bear Grylls making a condom out of stinging nettles or something! That doesn’t change the fact I’ll be getting a big fat no, does it?” argued Claire.

“You might not. My friend’s brother had an interview at night, it was so they could give him a work trial straight away and he got the job!” said Judie. 

“What kind of job?”

“Oh, just supermarket night work,”

“Which doesn’t need a background check or anything,” said Claire “I’ll do my best, but if it’s a Big Fat No you’re paying for us to go somewhere that’ll actually give me some satisfaction. Like a gig! Deal?”

“Deal. Want to watch a film?”

“Not if it’s one of your choices! If the interviewer asks what I’ve done this evening, I can’t tell them I watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the Centipede or whatever else!” said Claire.

“That could work, they’d certainly know you’re not squeamish!” said Judie, laughing.

“I’m not telling anyone I watched those!! Can I print my CV?”

“Okay, but I’ve only got pink paper left. It’ll be er, baby friendly!”

“You mean it’ll be naff! The babies are not doing the interview, the recruitment people are!”

Judie hadn’t mentioned that she’d run out of black printer ink too. Claire’s CV came out bright pink with purple text. It was starting to look very much like she might be getting this gig!

Claire had a problem with her interview straight away - she couldn’t find the place! Surely a hospital had to be pretty big and clearly signposted? Yet she’d somehow found herself outside a closed-looking office block in the backside of nowhere!

It was 21.49. She knocked on the office block door to ask for directions, hoping like crazy that she wasn’t more than ten minutes’ walk away from the hospital or Judie would have a right laugh hearing that she’d never even found it, in order to get The No.

A man answered the door. Claire heard bleeping and saw someone go past behind him. They were walking around with a drip stand, so this presumably was the right place! It just looked a bit rough on the outside, likely because of Conservative party budget cuts and it being late at night.

“I’m here for the volunteering interview,” said Claire.

The man checked his watch. “Ah. Wait upstairs,”

“Thank you. Which floor…”

He went back inside and and Claire had to kind of run after him into the lift. His voice had sounded all wrong – should he be around sick people with a sore throat like that? Not to mention his attitude!

On an upstairs floor, a woman came in and asked for Claire’s CV then walked off, leaving her in a waiting room with several inside windows. Some of the rooms were definitely staff offices. Others had the shutters down so behind there could have been anything, although the bleeping seemed to be coming from that direction so she assumed it was a hospital ward.

On and off, Claire could hear drilling and what generally sounded like building renovations. Damn, no wonder they couldn’t get the babies to sleep with that racket! She smelled burning plastic and had a terrifying mental image of the block catching fire. Sensibly, she knew it was probably just the paper laminator or whatever the builders were doing.

Where was the interviewer or anyone else? She doubted they were planning to trial people straight away because if nothing else, the background checks would have taken ages. It was Friday night, even something ridiculously fast-tracked would surely have to be done at nine o' clock on Monday morning?

Maybe they’d done it early this morning, after she applied last night? Maybe they could trial her with supervision? Maybe they were just going to give her The No straight away? Although someone actually getting around to interviewing her would be a good start for any of those.

On the upside, she had at least one requirement sorted thanks to their brilliant scheduling – the ability to sit still for a very long time!

Claire remembered one of the videos she’d seen online of a woman snuggling a baby who woke up and looked around at her. He had really big lovely eyes and it had made Claire feel funny inside. Although that was probably just because she had the sense of a Big Fat No heading in her direction.

She was just going to think about that sort of thing, unlikely though it was for her, and not some of the other things she’d read about online recently – about perverts and financial scammers and high-rise fires. That hot plastic smell was making her feel funny inside and not in a good way, maybe she should go and tell someone?

“Yeah, and that’ll make me look brilliant,” Claire thought sarcastically. It would almost certainly be the office document laminator she was freaking out over. Then when this volunteer position inevitably turned out to be admin, she still wouldn’t be getting it!

Claire wasn’t exactly sure how long she’d been waiting. Fifteen minutes or so? One of her interviews was pretty late before, wasn’t it? Although that one was in the morning at a cash & carry, which was just a bit different from this.

She started walking around the place looking for someone to ask. She’d been waiting longer than fifteen minutes - the clock in the staff office said 22.30. Did the interviewer forget about her? If the hospital was that busy, how come she’d barely seen anyone? She found a pile of documents next to the shredder with something pink in it that looked rather like her CV. This was a big fat no alright!

She picked up the pile to check whether the pink thing was actually her CV. It was, and there was something worse underneath – exam certificates! Why would anyone be shredding those? She had suspected from the beginning that there was an admin assistant here who needed replacing but that was ridiculous.

She was going to find someone to moan to, and to hell with The No. She probably would have gotten it anyway and she was now kind of looking forward to getting out of here. She was just glad she didn’t bring her exam certificates! She spotted something else that made her feel funny inside, and certainly not in a good way.

The clock wasn’t on 22.37, it was 02.37! Where the hell had she been for over four hours? Asleep? She must have been totally forgotten about.

There was a corridor at the back with more small offices, but there was nothing in them. She got the feeling that the place wasn’t even finished. What if the entire thing turned out to be some kind of horrible joke? Judie had seemed very encouraging, hadn’t she? Not to mention the weird suggestions of getting useful experience from an office job and the dodgy CV.

Judie certainly wouldn’t have had a problem with frightening her – lover of disgusting horror movies that she was. But she surely wouldn’t be mean enough to disappoint someone with a fake job interview? And how did she rustle up the keys to an empty block? Claire wouldn’t have easily been able to arrange that late at night just for a joke, and she worked for an estate agents! Judie worked in a shop.

Claire remembered something else about the interview at the cash & carry – their offices had been on intermediate floors at the sides and she could see down into the main warehouse from there. Maybe the same thing could work here? It surely wouldn’t hurt to look, if only to find out where everyone had gone and make sure the place wasn’t on fire. She found the controls to the window shutters, opened them so that she could see down onto the next floor and screamed.

There were people in there with their entire bodies covered in bandages, as if they’d been burned in some sort of terrible accident. Far worse than that, one was laying on an operating table and a worker was covering parts of his body with something that looked horribly like plastic laminator sheets. That must have been what she could smell earlier!

The sound that she’d assumed to be building renovations started up again - they were screw-drilling things into his chest. He twisted around - he was awake for this - and she saw metal bars screwed into his head and just kind of…holes for the eyes and mouth. 

She turned round and started running, only to find all of the waiting room doors firmly locked. Even if she could have forced them, she could see that someone who must have impossible strength had moved several heavy filing cabinets in front of the hallway exit doors. She couldn’t get to any outside windows either, so screaming for help or even jumping off the block weren’t going to be an option. The staff had only told people that this floor was the baby nursery because it was a lot easier to make people turn up than if they told them it was the cyber-conversion theatres. Claire realised she was about to lose a hell of a lot more than her self-esteem...

[kiruuuuu]

Ignorance is Blitz

Dearest @magehir​, I wish you a happy birthday and all the best 💖💖 May this next year bring all that you need. Thank you for existing, putting up with me and infecting me with the worst kinds of ideas :) This is a first part to the long-promised Wikihow fic, though it functions just as well as a standalone, and I hope you enjoy it! (hints for Blitz/Rook, Rating T, humour/fluff, ~5k words)

.

“How to give passive-aggressive gifts for Christmas”, Mute murmurs.

Rook’s brain shuts off mid-sentence. He supposes this is one of the situations where people claim to be thinking of a million possible responses when his thoughts have instead come to a screeching halt and the last syllable died on his tongue, never to be accompanied by its brethren which would’ve formed the rest of the term best describing the all you can eat buffet he went to recently: culinary extravaganza.

“How to find hot people to be friends with on Facebook”, Mute adds just as quietly as before, apparently oblivious to the sudden silence as his two friends merely stare at him in vague disturbance. “How to act like a modern vampire.”

“What the fuck”, Rook addresses him and attempts to catch a glimpse of his screen, now thoroughly concerned. “I hope to god this isn’t your google search history you’re reading right now or else we’ll have to start carrying around garlic soon.”

Mute, now having finally noticed their attention, is grinning down at his phone and announces: “How to hide an erection.”

“I could’ve used advice on that in school”, Glaz states drily, startling Rook into a laugh.

“How to be okay with having a communist friend.”

“Are those actual – what the hell are you reading?”

It’s yet another one of their lazy days, meaning they’re draped over various pieces of furniture, dying of boredom and hoping fate plops anything exciting into their laps. Their standards keep dropping with every passing second and it’s happened before that a small caterpillar became the highlight of one of their afternoons – they spent more than an hour simply feeding it and watching it eat and Glaz ended up almost crying when Sledge threw it outside to motivate them for kitchen duty. At this point, Rook would give his left arm for a balloon or a piece of string, though he keeps dismissing Mute’s claims about the internet harbouring enough entertainment to last several lifetimes. Maybe he just doesn’t know where to look, however.

“How to trick people into thinking you’re possessed.”

“Step one: be Mark Chandar on too many energy drinks.” Mute throws the Frenchman a glare and earns an innocent smile in return. “Seriously though, pretending to be possessed by a demon must be hilarious around Maestro, he’d probably cry.”

“He’d cry for you”, Mute informs him. “With me, he’d offer to put me down before even thinking twice about an exorcism. Do you think we should pick one of these stupid articles and actually do what it says? It could be entertaining.”

“Are there any remotely nice ones?”, Glaz wants to know hopefully. “Like ‘how to break into somebody’s room and clean it without their knowledge’?”

“Oh, here’s one for Jules – ‘how to love’.”

Before Rook can even threaten bodily harm, Glaz sighs and mumbles: “That one I definitely don’t need to read.”

Fighting down the urge to just hug him and never let him go so no one can ever hurt him again, Rook suggests: “They probably have stupid suggestions for really normal things too, don’t they? Like really detailed descriptions of how to shower for example, we can take those and exaggerate them a bit. How does that sound?”

“In that case I’ve got the perfect example”, Mute replies excitedly. “How to date. Short and sweet but the very first point is setting yourself up for success, so this should be good. If we follow this like a recipe, we’ll be dating left and right no problem.”

“Somehow, I doubt that”, Glaz sighs. “Who do you even want to date?”

“What do you mean, ‘you’? Shouldn’t you be the one to do it?”

“I’ll do it”, Rook volunteers to gloss over the fact that the last time Glaz asked anyone out on a date was likely ten years ago whereas he himself flirts with everything that moves, therefore making an unsuccessful attempt sting less. “So, how do I trick myself into being successful?”

“Define your expectations”, Mute quotes the article with a grin. “Are you looking for a lifetime commitment?”

“Sorry, mystery guy, but I’m already in a committed relationship with -”

“- yourself”, Glaz butts in, making Mute snort and break out into immature giggling as soon as he notices Rook’s indignant expression.

“… I was going to say my bed and food, but I guess that works. Thank you for the vote of confidence, in any case. Am I that self-absorbed? I don’t think I am, I’m a good listener, right? And it’s not like I talk over people or ignore them, or as if I’m lacking awareness of talking too much about myself. You wouldn’t call me egocentric, would you? I definitely don’t fit all of the criteria, after all I’m not -”

“Decide how you want to date”, Mute interrupts him quite rudely, Rook finds. “You’re absolutely not going to snag anyone on the internet, we may be out for a laugh but you’re not catfishing anyone.”

“Why would I catfish?! The only fitting part of that is the fish, since I’m a real catch”, Rook protests and causes the other two to groan.

“Yeah, no, I’m not letting you on the internet because you’d need a likeable personality for it. Oh, one of the options is having a friend set you up. I like that – Glaz, who should he try to date?”

“Craig”, the Russian deadpans immediately. Concerned silence follows as the other two attempt to assess whether he’s joking or not. “You can go watch a film with him and get kicked out when he won’t stop talking loudly.”

“I’d say Seamus but -”

“- there’s no way I can compete with Italian sausage”, Rook chimes in and feels a grim satisfaction at Mute’s grimace. He really reacts as if they were talking about his real parents. “Have you seen his bruises? The worst I’ve done is accidentally slap someone in the face.”

Glaz is horrified. “How do you… accidentally?”

“Listen, I was drunk, the guy kept getting louder and louder about wanting me to spank him but I at that point didn’t know how it’s done, so I just…”

“Maybe this was a mistake”, Mute grumbles and rubs his temple. “I would have you date Seamus now just out of spite but he’d chuck you out the nearest window as soon as you started babbling nonsense or acting weird. We need someone who’s more lenient, ideally someone nice so they don’t hold a grudge when we tell them it was all for shits and giggles, maybe shy because then your chances are better, and someone who doesn’t dislike you. So Fuze is out.”

“What, why?”

“Are you telling me you’d like to date Fuze?”

“No, I mean – why doesn’t he like me? He never talks to me, but he never talks to anyone.”

“It could be the fact that you helped Dom dye his teeth blue while he slept. Not only is it fucking creepy, he also looked like he ate all the Smurfs for a day.”

“What about Elias?”

Again, Glaz’ contribution gives them pause, albeit a noticeably more pensive one this time. He’s right, what about Blitz? Together with Sledge, Thatcher and Montagne he makes up Team Dad, meaning they look out for everyone but especially the younger operators, take them under their wing – yet it also means neither of the three are particularly keen on details about their love lives, which is why Mute’s thoughts instantly went to Sledge as a form of punishment. Blitz is similar in that vein, though he fits the Brit’s description to the letter: he’s quick to forgive people, has an atrocious track record concerning relationships as far as they know and he seems to enjoy Rook’s company. He might indeed be a good target for this.

“Rather him than Gilles or Mike”, Rook hastens to reply as soon as he realises that if he rejects the German, this is where his friends’ worrisome thoughts are going to end up. Both of them could easily be his dad, unlike Blitz who might have a fatherly protective attitude towards his younger colleagues but at least no grey hairs yet.

“I’m sure you could win them over with your boyish innocence”, Mute deadpans, making Rook grimace. “They might be a tad too old for your tastes though. I think Mike even owns a Cat Stevens CD.”

“Remember how Elias and Marius talked about a DOS-based game? I think he is, too, but he’s the best out of the three.”

“Ten years older isn’t too old.”

Glaz and Rook exchange a meaningful glance and merely raise their brows at an increasingly flustered Mute who looks ready to smack himself in the face with his phone, given how much he’s suddenly fiddling with it. “I’m not sure we’re talking about Julien and Elias anymore”, the Russian states drily, and Rook nods up a storm.

“Look”, Mute begins to defend himself to two expectant expressions and eventually just sighs in frustration. “Whatever, let’s not talk about my crush -”

“Oh, so it is a crush now, is it?”

“Shut up.” Rook wasn’t aware that Mute’s ears could be this shade of red. “James is… a good friend right now.”

“You say this as if you hadn’t thought about whether he sounds in bed just like the time Seamus accidentally pelted him in the balls with Diana’s tennis ball and he whimpered for an hour straight.” Rook feels a rush of pride at his comment when Mute suddenly looks ready to murder. It seems like he hit the mark, just like Sledge had done: right in the crotch.

“He strikes me as someone who’s had dog slobber in that particular area before”, Glaz murmurs probably as an aside and looks almost shocked when Rook’s instant guffawing lets him know that he said this out loud. Even Mute doesn’t seem sure whether he should be horribly offended or deeply amused.

.

In the end, they do decide on Blitz being their victim. Glaz gets cold feet halfway through the conversation, raising the issue of morality and deceit but gets shot down quickly when Mute lists some of the pranks with which Bandit got away and which had exceedingly far-reaching consequences. The West wing of their building still has no running water. Not that Rook is complaining about sharing their showers with some of its occupants, no, not at all.

“We’re going to Bond you up”, Mute announces while digging through one of the many, many drawers in the workshop that are filled with… stuff. Rook is waiting for the day this stuff starts pouring out of every cupboard they have, because it means it’ll all get cleaned up and tidied by someone who’s not getting paid enough and maybe then they’ll find the remote for the TV again. He’s sick of bribing people to turn the volume up or down by pressing buttons on the device directly, especially because his candy stash has run low by now because of it.

“What are you guys doing?”

Only Rook and Glaz turn away from the unmanageable mess of cords, cables, plugs and other electric parts in which Mute is elbow deep right now, and maybe Rook should worry about it turning sentient and swallowing the Brit whole at some point, but right now he’s worrying about one thing only: the possibility of Bandit catching wind of what they’re doing. He’s pretending to make nonchalant small talk but really, he must’ve smelled blood. He always knows when they’re up to something.

“Befriending communists”, Glaz replies politely.

“Hiding boners”, Rook supplies.

Bandit’s eyes narrow suspiciously but he remains silent as Mute produces a triumphant noise and pulls out what looks like an earring attached to a cable and a few other things, with a small box at the end. “Here we go! You can wear this, Jules.”

“In my life I’ve only fucked one guy who wore earrings”, Bandit deems it necessary to divulge. “And when he got dressed, he’d do sock shoe sock shoe.”

Rook snorts. “I’m not surprised you’re friends with James since you seem to have prior experience with psychopaths.”

“Let’s go, boys, we have all we came for”, Mute tells them, an unambiguous signal to not engage Bandit any further or else he’s never going to leave them alone, and starts herding them out of the workshop. To their collective annoyance, Bandit follows, unperturbed by the waves of get lost rolling off of them.

“If I give you a Curly Wurly, will you leave us alone?”, Rook addresses him and earns a scoff.

“Please, as if I could be bribed with sweets. This is an interesting device you’re undoubtedly going to misuse somehow and I want to see where it’s going.”

“And four hobnobs. The ones with chocolate.”

“I just told you -”

“Add a chocolate orange to that.”

“Deal. Have fun!”

.

“I feel extraordinarily gay”, Rook mumbles into his collar and prays that no one else in the canteen is paying any attention to him hovering uncertainly at the edge of the room, waiting for Zofia to be done talking to his mark. Blitz looks comfortable in the middle of the room, paperwork spread out on the table before him and an open bag of crisps by his elbow – only he would still be working during his lunch break. Considering all the people in front of whom Rook could be thoroughly embarrassing himself, he’s one of the better options as his smile is not only contagious but also very pretty. So even if this will influence his reputation for a while, Blitz is likely to be a good sport about it all.

Rook is wearing an apron reading Kiss the cook because one of the items on Mute’s blasted list involved making him look ‘approachable’, and since the pink t-shirt they gifted Glaz with the slogan ‘single and ready to flamingle’ is in the wash, this was the next best option. The earring which serves as Mute’s and Glaz’ way of communicating with him during this whole ordeal is not only garish but unfortunately a clip-on, so Rook couldn’t refuse wearing it. He feels like a budget version of an undercover agent, only much, much shadier.

“You look it, too, so it’s perfect”, Mute’s tinny voice reassures him into his left ear. They’re both sitting at the other end of the canteen, sharing popcorn and crunching infuriatingly loudly into their mic. “Make eye contact, smile and raise your eyebrows – that’s the first step, according to this masterpiece.”

It’s the perfect opportunity to implement a technique Rook has mastered almost twenty years ago: he starts out by rolling his eyes over his friends but as soon as he notices Blitz looking over, Zofia nowhere in sight, it transforms into a bright smile. This instantaneous switch in facial expressions has served him well over the years, especially around unlikeable teachers or bosses – only this time, he thinks a little too much about what Mute has said and ends up with a manic grin instead of a friendly smile while lifting his brows so high he must look either utterly astonished or inexplicably anticipatory.

Glaz masks his snort as a cough whereas Blitz reciprocates his bloodthirsty smirk with a much milder lifting of the corners of his mouth. Even from this distance, Rook can detect his concern which is probably fighting Blitz’ omnipresent drive to be social, accepting and open-minded. He always looks like this when Twitch’s current explanation has left him lost half an hour ago or when Tachanka jovially reminisces about early Spetsnaz training (and who in the world thinks that being chased through a hallway filled with blood and guts by a massive dog in the middle of the night was in any way, shape or form fun).

He’s starting to feel bad. Only a little, but honestly, when Blitz put on the clothes his blind roommate laid out for him this morning (because how else does he explain his usual attire), he probably wasn’t expecting to become a wikihow experiment today.

“I swear you’re gonna make me choke on this popcorn”, Glaz mutters and, like clockwork, Rook immediately replies: “Sounds less entertaining than choking on cockporn.”

More strangled noises in his ear, but fortunately Mute takes over to rescue him from certain death via being cast out of society by informing him of the next step: “Indicate interest and project confidence during social situations. Go on, be interested and confident. You’re as great as you are misguided in one of those, and terrible at the other.”

Rook ignores the slight (really, just because he once paid no attention to what Mute was telling him and they ended up stranded in the wilderness with no more gas doesn’t make him a bad listener, and him self-assuredly flirting his way into some stranger’s car who then became a little too interested in him doesn’t necessarily mean he’s overconfident), and approaches his target with a cocksure swagger he’s practised for exactly three seconds on the way to the canteen. “Hey, what are you doing, I like you, is this equipment paperwork, I’ve actually done a ton of these so I’m an absolute pro, how are you this fine day?”

Blitz stares at him. Maybe Rook should’ve let the other two know that he gets the worst case of stage fright whenever he feels observed in social situations and that it manifests in casual blabbering. “I, uh, I’m good, thanks. Are you alright?”

He sounds hesitant and Rook can’t blame him. After plopping down opposite of the German with a slightly less manic smile, he attempts to ignore Mute and Glaz whom he can very clearly see over Blitz’ shoulder and who both seem to be shoving their fists into their mouths to try and not giggle too obviously. “Peachy”, he beams. “How’s the work going? Is it just as work-y as always?”

His contagious laugh falls on deaf ears, at least from the man he’s talking to. Glaz looks about ready to cry.

“I suppose so.” Bless Blitz for his endless patience. The doubtful tone is still present and betrays his suspicion of something going on, but as Rook neither attempts to steal or set fire to the papers nor to shove a cake into his face, he probably figures there’s no immediate danger. “Have you actually filled out these kinds of forms before?”

“Confidence”, Mute squeaks into his ear, still suppressing his mirth, and Rook suddenly wonders whether Smoke would like to know about the time Mute despaired over his new laptop not working, troubleshooting it for several days and refusing any and all outside help until an innocently passing-by Jäger pointed out that it wasn’t plugged in. So far, the event has been contained but Rook has long been waiting for an opportunity to unleash this knowledge.

“Of course, I used to do them all the time as homework, I could do them in my sleep”, Rook lies through his teeth.

“Great!” It seems Blitz failed to get the memo about projecting entirely misplaced confidence because he goes on to ask: “Could you help me with this one detail then? I’m not sure what -”

And while he explains his problem, Rook’s brain long having shut off, Mute informs him of the next step: “Make engaging small talk. Ask broad, open-ended questions like ‘so, what got you interested in rock-climbing’.”

“So, what got you interested in rock-climbing?”, Rook interrupts Blitz’ detailing completely out of the blue. A distance away, Glaz is putting his head in his hands.

Blitz forgets to close his mouth for a few seconds, and Rook almost wishes he didn’t stop talking but instead ignored Rook’s question entirely. “I… am not particularly interested in rock-climbing, if I’m honest. Why do you ask?”

And while Rook flounders and stutters out a non-committal oh, you know, Glaz, the absolute angel on his shoulder, decides to step in and save him: “Perfect opportunity, the next step is don’t take yourself too seriously. Try making a joke at your own expense if you say something you think is utterly stupid. You can save this, Julien, I believe in you.”

“Well, uh.” Think, think, think. Rook feels like Winnie the Pooh and barely stops himself from tapping his temple. As usual, his mouth is writing checks long before his brain has earned the money, and so he witnesses in unfortunately non-mute horror as the words come over his lips: “It’s just that your muscles are as hard as a rock and I suddenly thought how awesome it would be to go rock-climbing.”

Smooth.

Blitz is genuinely gaping now.

Behind him, Mute nearly falls off his chair while shaking with silent laughter, and Glaz is wearing the all too familiar expression of ‘if anyone asks, I will forever deny knowing you’.

“I, um, well, thanks? I guess? Julien, are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“I’ve never felt better in my life.” Confidence, right? What was the other thing? Open-ended questions? “Speaking of, what do you want to achieve in life?”

How Blitz hasn’t gotten whiplash yet is a mystery. Maybe Rook will be able to make Mute laugh so hard he’ll drop dead. He’s looking a little blue in the face already. “Why do you ask? Do you really want to know?”

“Yes!”, Rook responds too forcefully and thanks whoever is responsible for Blitz being completely resistant to weird behaviour, merely accepting it as a fact of life and glossing over it. On second thought, the reason for this is most definitely Bandit and Rook would rather gnaw off his own toes than thank Bandit for anything.

Blitz’ eyes lower and he absent-mindedly moves some of the papers around. His entire demeanour… shifts. “I want to make a difference somehow. And I know this sounds horribly cliché, and everyone here has the same wish – but does that make it in any way less special? I don’t think so. We put our lives on the line to ensure some girl will have a mother when she grows up, to inspire some people to turn their life around, so that people have a roof over their head and peaceful sleep. And I don’t care if some say there’s better ways to do this. This is mine, this is something I’m good at, and my capabilities are useful here where they would be lost as a politician or anything else. And there always will be more to do, I’ll never be done, but that’s okay. I’ll know I’ve done a bit, and I’m happy with that already.”

Something flutters.

He hasn’t felt it in a while, not like this, usually stemming from a different place in his body or more concrete, aided by alcohol or general giddiness, but paradoxically his heartbeat is calming down despite the tingling sensation in his chest. Speechless, he stares at the man in front of him, trying to do what he always does when people’s sincerity makes him uncomfortable – joking about it in his head, react with sarcasm, discard the notion as sentimental or naive. Only right now, it’s his cynicism which feels fake instead of Blitz’ words.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bore you with a speech”, the German adds sheepishly and laughs a little. It’s cute. It’s the cutest thing Rook has seen today and if he does that thing where he scratches the back of his head because he’s embarrassed and a little lost now, Rook might pass out on the spot, just lose all body tension and glide to the ground like a jelly pancake because no one, and that includes genuinely happy Glaz, no one has any right to be this adorable.

Blitz scratches the back of his head.

“I’m going to faint”, Rook informs someone, he’s not even sure who, whether it’s Mute and Glaz and this is a badly hidden attempt at getting them to come to his aid, or whether it’s Blitz to inform him that the cute police is on his case.

“Oh, that’s right, it’s lunch and you haven’t eaten anything yet, no?” If his next sentence is something along the lines of ‘let me offer you food’, he’ll have to propose. There’s no way around it. “I’d offer you something more substantial but I only have the crisps. You can try them if you want, but they’re a little hot.”

Right on cue, Mute whispers in his ear: “You should find some common ground and then ask him out. This is already a disaster, no need to prolong it.”

“I love hot things!”, Rook exclaims cheerfully and it’s not even that big of a lie, except that ‘food’ isn’t on the list. But if Mute wants his common ground, he’s going to get it. Without checking the packaging, Rook reaches into the bag and shoves a few of the suspiciously red potato crisps into his mouth.

“He’s going to die”, Glaz utters full of concern, just as the spiciness hits Rook full force.

Blitz seems to be convinced of the opposite. “Really? That’s great, I’ve not found anyone who likes this type. You should try some of the Indian dishes I make now and then!”

Rook’s consciousness is fading, slowly being replaced by unadulterated fire. This must be what it’s like to be burnt alive, he reckons, and right now he’d rather eat glass than ensure a second more of this brilliant pain. His eyes are watering and he’s doing his best to efficiently chew without letting any more of it touch his tongue so he can swallow it as fast as possible, in the process ruining his throat. Now it, too, feels like he ate glass. “I’d love to”, he croaks and sniffles pitifully while a cold sweat breaks out on his back.

“Are you ill? You’re a little…” Blitz’ concern is as heartwarming as it is unwelcome; it only makes everything worse.

“Yes, actually.” He can’t cough now. If he does, all is lost, he won’t be able to stop, ever, and it’ll invade his lungs and slowly cook him from the inside out.

“You need to get out”, Glaz informs him, sounding troubled, “and eat your emergency chocolate. Now. Ask him and then bolt.”

This is it, huh. This is what he’s been working up to for the last half an hour: posing a question while sounding like he’s been smoking for longer than he’s been alive, choking back tears which make it almost impossible to see Blitz, and faced with all the kindness and compassion of a man he suddenly doesn’t want to disappoint.

And so he asks.

.

“I am still in shock”, Mute says. The others nod.

“I have no idea how it came to this”, Glaz says. More nodding.

“I can finally feel my tongue again”, Rook slurs and downs the third glass of milk, just to be safe. He feels like he ran a marathon, solved maths problems and had an allergic reaction all at once. Not to mention the overarching shame of having embarrassed himself in front of someone who turned out much more sympathetic than he thought.

“I don’t understand.” Mute’s rational brain is rejecting this reality, Rook can almost hear the gears crunching. “Why would he say yes?! Where did we go wrong?”

He’s hesitant to tell them that he actually wouldn’t mind getting to know Blitz better because the memory of them shoving oversized condoms into Glaz’ pockets in order to embarrass him in front of his crush is still all too fresh. “This was a success then”, he very inaccurately summarises the unholy catastrophe of whatever it was that happened in the canteen twenty minutes ago. Maybe he can just… pretend he doesn’t want to actually go on the date but go nonetheless, be far, far from either of these two so he might end up enjoying himself – and if something comes out of it, he still has ample time to let them know.

“You don’t seem sad about this result”, Mute picks up on his careful neutrality and squints. “Are you telling me you actually want him to make you groan with something other than his terrible dad jokes? Is that it?”

“We probably should’ve picked Shuhrat after all”, Glaz muses with a sigh. “He wouldn’t have accepted. He might’ve refused to ever go near you again, but at least we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Wait.” Mute is on his phone, which is never a good sign if the Thomas the tank engine toy he modified into a fully functioning flamethrower after having watched a video of someone else doing it was any indication. A sense of dread starts rising in Rook. “There’s instructions for a first date here, too. We can do the same thing again, give you instructions and have you follow them. At this point, we kinda have to do this.”

Rook pictures it. All he can see is carnage, chaos and more catastrophes. It’ll be a disaster, he’s already struggling with multi-tasking without it involving another largely unpredictable person, and his nerves don’t deal well with expectations of any kind.

He weighs this against the alternative: admitting that he’d like to go on the date without their interference and facing endless mockery as a result. He remembers his own mental threat against Mute to divulge embarrassing stories of his past to Smoke. He thinks of the time his tongue got stuck to a pole because Mute told him this only happened to children, not adults.

“Alright”, he agrees with a sigh and regrets his decision as soon as Mute’s and Glaz’ eyes light up.

[owlmylove]

big ask, how do you make friends?(not you as in you but as in the general all of us you does that make sense?)

aight strap in kiddo. heres how to win friends and influence smiles

first: find people that seem cool, or interesting to you. this is nowhere near as high stakes as it may seem because, though you may not know it yet, you don’t have to commit to being friends with someone just because you get to know them. we all make brunch and coffee date promises that will eventually go unfulfilled, not because we’re terrible people but rather we realize we’re better suited to hanging out with others. so, tldr: find cool people and don’t worry overmuch about it

now, find a way to talk to them. this depends on A. how often you see this person annnnd B. your own confidence level.  

if you see a cool person and don’t immediately know how to approach them, the easiest way in the world to make friends is to open with a compliment and go from there. this sounds ridiculous, but I’m currently at a large university and I literally make friends every day. most of the time, that’s prompted by complimenting them. I once told a girl outside starbucks I loved how she was working that croptop, and she almost yelled with joy, complimented my hair, and demanded to ask for my instagram. if someone is in a rush I naturally don’t interrupt them, but I have stopped by other people’s tables or seats in cafés before to inform them how much I like their outfit/hair/earrings/messenger bag. after they fawn over the compliment, proceed to small talk. 

small talk takes practice. 

and thats okay! most things in life do! you’ll get better the more you do it - I swear to god I’m the proof. 

bounce off whatever response they give to your initial compliment and, most importantly (and easiest for you!) keep the focus on them. try to end most - but not every one! - of your thoughts with an open question for them to keep the conversation rolling. complimented their jewelry? (usually a v. good pick, people take pride in their jewelry. sidenote, try to compliment things people choose: clothes, books, shoes, accessories. although “you have incredible eyes!” is a great compliment, it’s awkward as an opener because it A. requires you to have looked them in the eyes for a long period of time before talking to them and B. sounds like a pick up line. [I wait until I’ve been talking to them for a while before I acknowledge how wow, I’m sorry, the light just hit your eyes and they’re gorgeous! I’m sure you get that all the time, but wow.]) 

ask them where they got their bracelet. if someone got it for them, ask about the gift-giver. if they don’t remember where they got it, laugh and say that all the best pieces in a wardrobe are the ones you forget where they came from. give an example of your own, if applicable. try bouncing from complimenting their hair to asking where they get it done and maybe make a joke about how you wish you could bring a professional negotiator to your appointments, because otherwise you’ll ask for a trim, the stylist will give you a buzzcut, and you’ll say “oh thats perfect, thanks :))” almost everyone has had that experience, I promise.

I should also acknowledge: I’m writing this as a cis female. I can (and do) compliment a lot of people, mostly women. But I’ve been told that if you’re male-presenting, then giving such compliments to people of any gender might be seen as flirting? As such, for those who don’t present as girls: give compliments in a way that feels right for you. One of the best drive-by compliments I recently got from a guy was while I was late for a performance, striding across campus, and a guy passing by just said “Hey, I love your style,” without breaking stride or trying to force a conversation. No matter what you identify as, if you’re worried someone will think you’re hitting on them be sure to keep that air of, “I don’t mind if this conversation comes to a natural conclusion.” Even if you desperately want to be their friend, desperation is easily detected and can be as uncomfortable in platonic contexts as it is in romantic ones. 

so don’t lean in too close, don’t force extended eye contact or stare, and don’t compliment any body parts unless you think you can do so without being suggestive. casually mirror their body language when possible (if they’re leaning their cheek on one arm, wait a beat or two before propping your chin up similarly) to make them feel like you’re attentive and similarly minded.

if you can immediately tell you have a common factor with a person, go for it. if someone’s reading a book you’ve read, or a book you want to read, or a book you wrote, sit sorta near them, glance their way and, acting as if you’ve just now recognized the book, ask them how they’re enjoying it. if they’re a deep reader and go “huh?” as your voice drags them up from the literary depths, give a self-effacing smile and say “Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt. That’s just one of my favorite books. How are you liking it so far?” this leads to any other question about a book you can imagine. 

ditto any t-shirt about a form of media you’re familiar with, or patch or sticker or pin. all of those are just nerd flags flying high in pursuit of like-minded people to talk to. trust me.

once you’ve made enough small talk and, if it’s working well, try finding a “to be continued” thread. could be “oh, you come to this coffee shop every morning to? well maybe I’ll see you next Wednesday then! it was nice meeting you, have a good day c:” orrrr maybe it’s “awww your dogs adorable!! here’s pictures of my pet/any other vaguely related to the conversation thing on instagram. [insert photo sharing, wait until you both stop actively looking at the photo] oh here, what’s your instagram? I’ll follow you!” open the search tab and hand it to them so you don’t have to worry about mistyping. 

also a very, very good method is to find something you can relate to the present conversation that you might not be able to immediately show. so an article, video, a picture you can’t-find-right-now, friend’s name, movie review, the name of this really cool bookstore you found in Annapolis because they mentioned they’re going there soon (if you really don’t mind bullshitting, find out where they’re traveling in the future, claim to remember a bookstore/museum/etc. you went to once, years ago and say oh shoot, what was the name? it was a pretty cool place - I’ll think of it tonight at like 2am. I can send you the name whenever I think of it if you like? [pause for answer] okay great! here, whats your number? and then go home, google some cool places, and text them a few hours later.) anything that gives you A. a way to continue this conversation and B. an excuse for not doing so immediately and, therefore, C. the chance to get their name & contact info.

now, if this isn’t just some cool-looking person you’re meeting for the first time, but someone you see regularly in a residential, academic or professional setting, start laying the groundwork for friendly vibes before you make a move. smile when you see them. if they’re a classmate, try sitting a lil closer (but not crazy close.) pay attention if they speak up in a group. if they drop something, and you don’t have to take extreme steps to do so, pick it up. if someone drops something across a lecture hall, don’t go running for it. but just close-lipped small smile + eyebrow flash when you see them and, after a few of these, try for a nod and/or a grin. if you’ve spoken to them at least once, if only to pick something up for them, you can try a “hey!/hello!” with a smile if they seem receptive to it. if you haven’t spoken to them yet, you’re welcome to try it if they seem receptive, but I usually wait.

if you don’t see this persona regularly, but semi-regularly, you need to evaluate whether the times you encountered them is significant enough for them to remember. please know this has waaay less to do with whether or not you’re memorable, and more to do with how much data our brains sort through every single day. think honestly about this, and decide this: when you eventually introduce yourself to them, would it be stranger to admit you remember the first time you both occupied the same space, or stranger to pretend to have forgotten?

I have a classmate who I vividly remember meeting for the first time, but we never really spoke until on instagram recently, 2 years later. So I never made a point of mentioning our meeting, until he actually referenced it! Then I went ahead and mentioned the highly-specific detail which made him so memorable as a question I was unsure of - “Ahaha yeah, his class was great! Weren’t you the one who _____?” 

Try never to be presumptuously confident in social settings until your conversational partner indicates it’s appropriate. It is almost always more polite to allow yourself uncertainty.

case in point: my default when friends are introducing me to people who I’ve seen around a few times is “Oh! Hello, I’m ___, haven’t we met before?” Assuming you have met before (even and perhaps especially when you know for a fact you haven’t) is SO MUCH SAFER than asking “have we met?” When they respond in the negative, we haven’t, you get to say “Oh, really? I guess I’ve just seen you around so much, I could’ve sworn we were introduced. Well, it’s so nice to officially meet you!” and then proceed with small talk, ideally including whoever your third party member is or, in the event of being one-on-one with this prospective friend, try asking them some questions about wherever you’ve been seeing them (so what do you think of our biology lecture?) OR compliments (Oh, I just noticed how awesome your watch is! where did you find that?) OR any other question you like. proceed with the small talk until one or both of you seems ready to leave, there’s a decent enough lull in the conversation, OR you’ve found a “to be continued thread” which you can string up before making your goodbyes. 

(Sorry if I’m exhausting this post with too many conversational examples, I just know how much younger, more-anxious me liked the idea of having a script to fall back upon)

don’t worry if you don’t get a contact method after the first conversation! you have spoken to the person, laid the ground work for a follow-up conversation, and that’s awesome. keep interacting with them when you see them, but be mindful of how interested they seem in interacting with you. the worst thing is to always stop and wait for a conversation when someone just wants to get on with their day. if they seem impatient, or busy, just say “hey! good to see you c:/have a good day c:/your hair looks great [insert name]!” and carry on. 

Friendships aren’t formed by constantly forcing conversations with a person. They’re formed by being mindful of those around you, considering people’s perspectives & emotions, and having a positive presence people want to be around.

you can shoot them periodic texts or DM’s, depending upon the contact method. best to start off is to send or discuss things relevant to your IRL conversation. if that starts a whole new text convo: awesome!!! if it fizzles out; let it fizzle. wait a few days/week/etc. try asking them for a book or music or coffeeshop recc, because people fucking love an invitation to offer their opinion (what do you think this novella of an answer is?) and then springboard into your own tastes, things you like and dislike, and see how well your views and tastes align. remember, talking to a potential friend is just like an interview! you may feel like you’re under examination, and need to win their attentions, but you’re interviewing them for the position too. 

finally, go ahead and invite them to hang out. you can do this waaaay earlier if you have sufficient reason/confidence to do so: if you compliment someone’s superhero shirt, and they say they can’t wait for the new movie next week, and you can’t either, say this! say you’re planning on going [insert date] if they wanna come get their mind blown with you and/or go halfsies on the pricey popcorn. 

also, naturally: if you’re in a coffeeshop and both clearly plan to be there again sometime soon, establish when you’ll see them next. when you do: don’t seat yourself at their table unless A. they invite you to or B. they’ve been clearly invested in talking with you for more than a few minutes, at which point you can say “Do you mind if I sit?” and then boom! coffee friendship!!! which is also the best way to deal with the natural, awkward pauses that come between topics - you can both reach for your cups as you think of ways to continue

But: if you don’t have the excuse of “here, wanna study for the next exam together?” or “carpool to work together?” or any of the above, go ahead and find something you think they might like too. If you have other friends who’d be down, and who aren’t super abrasive or wild or super super shy personality types, go ahead and try to make it a group hang. “Hey! Some of my friends & I are going to the movies on Friday night if you’d care to join!” orrrrrr invite them to grab coffee if that’s not where you usually meet them, or invite them to an outdoor market or some cool event (ideally with free admission!) like a live concert or gallery showing, etc. etc. 

If you only have their instagram when you first hang out with them, take a picture of them over the course of the night (not a selfie unless they ask for it.) I know how people feel about getting photographed, so I always take a bunch, tell them to try different poses, and then let them swipe through and pick their favorites for me to send them. offer the same, and tell them instagram/social media messagers kill the image quality if they don’t already know. Boom! now you have their phone number, and now they feel good about themselves bc of you. Woooo, positive correlations! if they want to take pictures of you, even if you’re squeamish around cameras, go ahead, laugh and let them go for it. otherwise, refusing the picture skews the friendship towards their ego, and suggest, if only subconsciously, that you like them more than you like yourself. 

from then on, it should be pretty smooth! see how the hang out goes, decide whether you want to keep hanging with them (as I said, you have that right!) and then text them when you want to. and as you spend more time interacting with them, and grow more comfortable, you might have some of Friendship Bonding Moments™ I’ve encountered. such as: being told I played a minor role in someone’s weirdly vivid dream, anytime someone sent me a post/song/video/article of clothing/picture of a dog and said it reminded them of me, sending me a new song they love and demanding I listen to it, asking for my opinion on what they’re going to wear tonight, and/or whether they should post a picture to instagram, someone randomly calling me up to say they’re headed to my favorite diner at 2am, do I want to come? (~Just College Things~), telling me they made extra dinner/food/baked goods and do I want some?

and then, congrats! you have made friends! if you really like them, and enjoy this sincerely and/or ironically, feel free to make them a friendship bracelet to immortalize the event once you feel comfortable enough with them

(although I have also promised to make friendship bracelets for people I have just met + had very positive conversations with, preceded by “Okay, that’s it, we’re friends now. You can expect your friendship bracelet in 3-5 business days.” and they all, without fail, freak out over the mere thought of a friendship bracelet and the implication that we are now officially friends. this works on people I met like, less than 5 minutes ago. it’s also really easy to say “you can expect your friendship bracelet in 3-5 business days. Here, what’s your instagram/phone number? I’ll text you!” bear in mind: don’t be presumptuously confident. gauge their level of enthusiasm before you ask for their contact details, or take the joke too far. but know that most will almost immediately say yes, because even adults who may laugh at the thought are still just little kids deep down, and everyone wants a friend to like them enough to make them a friendship bracelet)

if you’re looking for more than just casual friends: time, conversations and empathy all help to turn casual acquaintances into friends you can trust & rely upon. asking how they’re doing if it seems they’re having a rough day and actively listening, offering advice (only if they want it) or food or an indulgent stress relief hang out, or asking (one of the rare times presumptuousness is okay!!) if they wouldn’t mind letting you vent about a coworker or something frustrating - any time you encourage them to emotionally share with you, or you offer to share your emotions with them, will help solidify your friendship. as much as I hate admitting when I’m sad to my close friends, those that I do admit it to are the ones I trust & rely upon the most.

finally, most importantly and, yes, most clichédly: be yourself. The more a friend learns about you, the deeper the friendship. Never lie about yourself for the sake of impressing a friend, or all that effort you’ve put into making a friendship will be built on false grounds. you’ll never be comfortable or relaxed around someone you have to act around, so don’t! if someone doesn’t like you for you, they’re not worth your friendship in the first place. I may sound like Dr. Seuss or Hallmark, but I’m serious. 

Okay cool, so it’s 4:33 am and I should be studying for me french final in 6 hours, but hey, here’s like 3,000 words of rambly social advice and scripts. should I write a book about this? I feel like I could write a book about this. Hmm. Maybe thats just the espresso & caffeinated chocolate talking. please weigh in on book or nah in the comment section below

Anways, I hope with every fiber of my sleep-deprived soul that some small part of this goliath answer could help you! And if, in my stupor, I outlined every possible scenario except the ones you actually needed to know about, don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll try my best to assist. Now go forth, make friends, and be you! ♥

[that-terrible-writer]

Everybody Knows

Back at it again with another part to another story. What can I say, it was Legends Day and I wanted to publish this today.

Gif found through Google, credit to the owner.

Thank you for the love on this story. I’m so glad people are loving Ray as much as I do!

PS it’s a 4.1k parter, as a way to show sorry for my hiatus. 

Ray Palmer x Reader

Part 4

Part 1 2 3

“Love love love! Can’t wait to see what happens next!”

“So freaking in love with this;_;”

“where’s my part 4 (please)?”

You couldn't stop spinning in the dress that Gideon had made for you. Your smile kept growing the longer you continued looking at every fine detail that was given to make it look historically accurate. You glanced up, seeing an equally happy Ray gazing at you; dressed in an 1820's suit, with a long coat to match with his top hat to complete the outfit.

You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks, giving them a red hue. Your breath was becoming inconsistent due to the recent memory that had you had received. It had more of an effect on you how you saw Ray now, every little thing he did―just getting out of his seat―made you and your mind go crazy. You didn't know how to control these new found feelings, to make your heart stop pounding against your chest, but were they new feelings? Or were you finally returning to some sense of familiarity?

"You look stunning, Y/N," Ray complimented you. His voice laced with love. His words wrapped around your body, giving you that warming feeling once again. You tried to return the compliment, but words had failed you. You stumbled to make a simple sentence, your face turning into a brighter shade of red. You lowered your head, fiddling with the fabric of your dress between your fingers to avoid eye contact with Ray. You watched as his feet came into view, closing the distance between you two; you shifted your gaze to look at him once more, to see Ray smiling brightly at you.

"It's blue," You childishly said. Turning away to slap yourself, mentally, for saying such a stupid thing.

"Your favorite," Ray pointed out to you. Ray reached over to take your hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb. You observed the hands interacting with each other, having a more steady breath because you were focusing on his touch. His hand was yanked away from yours, snapping you out of your daze. You watched Nate wrap his arm around Ray's shoulder, dragging him away from you.

"Hey man, I just thought we could explore New Orleans together," Nate proposed, squeezing Ray closer to him. Ray was confused by Nate's sudden request, having his attention turn back towards you.

"I was actually going to see if Y/N wanted to see the city with me," Ray stated. You tried to contain a pleasant size smile while Ray's words took full effect on you. Your heart quicken when you saw Ray's smile grow due to seeing your reaction.

"Come on, let's go to the bar! See the women," Nate added. When you heard Nate suggest women, it hurt you; more than you thought it would. The very idea turned that feeling of hurt into jealousy within seconds apart.

"Booze and women? Count me in," Mick huffed, entering the room already pregaming with a beer in hand. Jackson and Stein followed, agreeing with Nate's offer. Ray was confused on what was going on, but you quickly figured it out. Nate didn't like you. Trying to make sure that Ray stayed as far away from you as possible.

"We'll make a guys day," Nate grinned, shaking his friend once more. Ray shrugged his shoulders at you, not knowing how to get out of the situation.

"B―but Y/N," Ray stammered, trying to walk away from Nate. He wanted to spend alone time with you, to try and get to know this you better. Also, to see if there was any glimpse, any hope, that the old you was still in there.

"Don't worry, Palmer," You heard Sara's voice boom. You turned to see Amaya and herself walking into the control room. Her arms stretched out, having a hand land on your shoulder, "We'll have a girls day. Don't worry about her; she won't be lonely."

Before Ray could protest any further, Nate began to drag him away from you. Ray looked over his shoulder one last time, scared a bit, "Y/N is in good hands with Sara and Amaya," Nate convinced Ray, continuing to drag him out. Your heart sank the moment you could no longer see Ray. You pressed your lips together, turning to face the girls but you couldn't mask your heartache.

"Come on," Sara tried to cheer you up, patting you on your back to help guide you towards the door. "We don't need the guys to have fun."

You sat in a cafe deciding to have some tea. Sara and Amaya were enjoying the stores, and you were too: after store seven, you had enough. You enjoyed watching the people interact with one another, yet, watching couples mingle with each other just brought up the yarning feelings for a certain someone.

"Don't worry; I'll be here."

The only memory that you had kept replaying in your mind. It made having a song stuck in your head enjoyable. Your mind would wander back to Ray, no matter how hard you tried to distract yourself. Picturing his face, wearing his goofy smile, wanted you to explore your past life. You felt something for Ray; it felt both new and familiar at the same time. You hadn't felt this way towards anyone: not even towards Wells. You quickly snapped out of your thoughts the moment Amaya and Sara had joined you at your table.

"Quit sulking," Sara joked, placing her bags to the sie of her chairs. She raised her hand to alerted the staff member to come over, "Thinking about Ray?"

Your cheeks instantly grew red, letting out a small gasp, "N―no," You fumbled. Your flub caused you to draw your eyes down to your tea, growing quiet with your words, "Why I would I be thinking about him?"

Sara glanced over to her teammate, a smile on both their faces, as they were amused by your reaction. "It's fine," Sara told you, resting her hand on yours, "He's single." You chuckled at her joke, feeling a little better. You pressed your lips again, debating to tell the two about the recent memory you had gained; fearing on how they would react.

"I got a memory," You confessed, gripping your teacup tighter. You glanced up to see Amaya and Sara staring at you with their eyes wide.

"Of what?" Amaya asked, leaning on the table.

"It was something Ray said that had triggered it," You explained, waving your hand towards the side of your head. You brought your cup to your lips, silencing yourself from saying anything else.

Sara tapped your arm playfully, grinning at you, "You can't be quiet now. What was it?"

"I think it was the first time we met," You recalled, "We were all sitting around, taking off for our first mission; while another man flew the Wave Rider."

"Rip," Sara informed you. Sara tilted her head slightly, crossing her arms, "So, it was just something Ray said that gave you that memory? It was that simple?"

"Yeah," You confirmed, nodding lightly. "I think that interaction I had with Ray was when my other self started liking him." Ray's face flashed in your mind, causing the butterflies to flutter in your stomach, growing shy.

"If it's that easy, maybe we just need to say other things to trigger the memories," Amaya brought up, looking over to her captain. Sara shook her head.

"We need to head back to the Wave Rider and discuss this with Stein," Sara stood from her seat, grabbing her bags. She noticed that you weren't following her nor Amaya; continuing to sip on your drink, "You're not coming?"

"It's New Orleans!" You beamed, placing down your cup, "Let me just enjoy this for a little bit more!"

Sara took in a deep breath, finally caving into your plead, "Fine, but come back in an hour, or we will come and find you." You waved them both off, continuing to taking in the period. You were in a place you always dreamed of, never thinking it was possible to come to; yet, here you were enjoying 1826 New Orleans.

You were enjoying the time to yourself until a chair moved, having someone joined you. You thought Sara had returned, forgetting to mention something but when you looked at the person, you saw a beautiful mixed woman. She seemed more on her African side, in her mid-twenties; she, too, was studying you. "Excuse me," Her voice was cool, very soothing. You kept gawking at the woman, farrowing your brows to try and figure out who the mysterious woman was that joined, "You're quite beautiful," She complimented you.

"Right back at ya," You causally said. You realized the slang you had used, the language you used was not fit for the period you were in, "Thank you very much." You quickly corrected yourself. The woman kept watching you, her eyes searching your face. She placed a hand under her chin.

"Are you married?" She asked. You shook your head a bit, but then it finally clicked. Your eyes grew when you identified who the woman before you was.

"You're Marie Laveau!" You gasped. Marie was baffled by your sudden outburst. You had to remind yourself that you couldn't mention anything about the future. It was the start of her career, and she was just simply a matchmaker at this point, "You're the reason why my uncle and aunt are together!" You quickly covered your tracks.

"Glad to know about another successful marriage," Marie beamed in confidence. She relaxed, still taking you in, "I know the perfect man for you." She clutched your hand, pulling you to your feet to bring you along with her. You became flustered. Not knowing what to do or wanting to interact with her any further: worrying about the future. No other Legend was around you; no one could help you or tell you what to do with her. You tried to tear your hand back, but she was surprisingly strong.

"Ms. Laveau," Your voice shook with fear, trying to grab her attention but she was determined to get you back to her place, "I'm not interested in marriage!"

"You say that now, but I tell you when you meet this gentleman: you will surely change your mind," Marie responded, spinning on her heel to point her finger at you. She wore a smile, sure of her match that she had for you, "I never seen more of a perfect match than with you and this man." She stopped in what had to be her home. She let go of your hand to enter through the front door, she noticed you were not accompanying her.  She barely looked over her shoulder to speak to you, "Why aren't you coming?"

"How are you so sure?" You challenged her. Your eyebrows pushed together, playing with the palms of your hand: you grew nervous. Nervous that the person through that door was a person you were destined to be in love at first sight. Was it even possible to have that happen; two people from two different points in time to be together? "You know nothing about me, yet you're so confident in this, how is that possible?"

Marie's smile grew, opening the door to gesture you to come in to join her, "The look in your eyes," She clarified, "They are the same as his. That's how I know." You took in a deep breath, the moment you accepted her offer and joined her inside, you had instantly regretted the decision. Even if you and this particular fellow were the ideal matches, you couldn't―there was no way―stay in 1826 New Orleans.  You made your way down the corridor, the closer you got to the room that held the gentleman, you could hear whispers; sounding as if they were arguing with each other people.

"We need to leave."

"We can't do this!"

"It will interfere with the timeline!"

Your eyes widened when you recognized the voices. Your heart began to beat harder against your chest. The corset that you wore felt tighter causing your breath to shorten. Marie placed a hand on your back, giving you a slight push to enter the room. "Mr. Palmer," Marie hummed, "Not only did I find you a match, but I believe I found your soulmate."

Ray turned around, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. When he bumped into Marie Laveau, he wished you were with him. Ray remembered how much you knew about her and it was the main reason why you wanted to visit New Orleans. When she said she was a matchmaker, wishing to set him up; he kindly refused. Not only could Ray not date someone from this time, but he didn't see himself with anyone that wasn't you. His heartrate matched yours, hearing the term 'soulmate' scared him because if it wasn't you who he saw, then how accurate was the Marie Laveau? That wasn't the case. The moment Ray's eyes fell onto yours, that you were the person he was matched with, a wave of calmness came over him.

A soft smile appeared on Palmer's face as well as a hint of pink to bring color to his cheeks. Joined by the rest of the men, they were surprised that out of all the women in New Orleans; Marie managed to find you. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress. A smile was slowly growing while your eyes remained locked with Ray's. Ray walked over to get closer to you, looking down with a more prominent smile than before, "What are the odds?" He sighed, his heart lifting when he saw your eyes turn doe like to stare at him.

You tried to say something, but you botched over your words. Your face turned bright red, quickly adverting away to cover your face with your hands; Ray just laughed at your cuteness. "Look at that," Marie said, placing her hands on her hips, pleased with herself, "Clearly in love already."

"No," You overheard Nate interject, causing you and Ray to look over to the Steel's direction. He waved a hand, getting in between the two of you, "They are complete strangers," Nate lied, "How can they possibly be 'in love'?"

"Don't you believe in soulmates, sir?" Marie angerly spat at him.

It happened again. When it occurred before, you were seated, but the dizzy spell had returned and affected you more since you were standing this time. You placed a hand on the side of your head; you shut your eyes, finding it harder to regain control. Ray felt you brush your hand against his arm, trying to to make yourself steady. He turned to look at you, quickly catching you before you fell to the floor.

"Y/N?" Ray called out to you. Your vision began to blur when you weakly glanced up at him to see what had to be a concerned look on Ray's face.

"Don't you believe in soulmates?" Ray asked you. You rolled out from underneath a generator. You took off your goggles, to show Ray your clear expression of uncertainty.

"One person destined to be with another person? It's just kind of a far reach." You countered. You pointed your tool at the Atom, giving off your signature jackass grin, "Aren't you suppose to be a man of science? Where're the scientific facts to support your claim?"

"I don't have to be scientific on everything," Ray mumbled in embarrassment. He pressed his lips together, gripping the counter he was leaning against, "When it comes to love, I'm just a romantic."

You rolled your eyes, covering them once more to go back to working on the broken generator to begin welding. "So, how many girls have you gone through thinking they were the one?" You loudly questioned.

"Actually," Ray thought out loud, "None. That's why they never worked out." You couldn't help but laugh at yourself hearing his explanation. You didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth. "I'm serious!" Ray defended himself, "I already met my soulmate."

"Honestly now?" You asked, your tone changing to pure sarcasm. You stopped welding, not rolling back out, "Is this soulmate just another Ray Palmer?" You pictured Felicity to be the one he was mentioning. They had equally great minds, and they understood each other as if they were twins; how they never worked it out was beyond you.

"No," Ray's voice grew sheepish. You pushed yourself out, not lifting yourself but staring at the ceiling; you waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Ray," You dragged out, growing a little uncomfortable, regripping your tool, "Tell me who your soulmate is."

"No," Ray quickly answered.

You sat up to correctly look at Ray. He was looking away from you, regretting to bring up the very subject. He rubbed his arm, a blush growing on his cheeks; it scared you how nervous Palmer was becoming. You felt your heart pound against your chest, holding onto your torch. "I―I―" Ray stammered, messing with his hands. It puzzled you on how nervous Ray was becoming, "I―" Ray mumbled his words, his eyes flickering to yours. He took one deep breath to calm his nerves, "It's you."

Your hand slipped, lighting the torch causing you to let out a scream. Ray suddenly ran to you, taking the tool out of your hand, turning it off. You ran your hands through your hair, trying to process Ray's confession. Ray had gone down to be at your level. He placed your tool aside, just to gaze at you.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything! It freaked you out―" You raised your hand in front of Ray's face to stop his rambling. It gave you a chance to collect your thoughts. You looked at Ray, whose eyes scanned every part of your face and his emotions were written all over his: he was petrified. He just went all in without thinking of the outcome: that you two were meant to be together.

"Ray," You managed to get out, "We aren't even dating. How do you know that I'm your...I'm your..."

"Soulmate?" Ray finished your sentence. You pointed your finger at him, waving it a little to show him that he was correct. Ray took another deep breath before he continued, "I know it's odd."

"We're complete opposites, Palmer!" You barked at him, "You're Ray Palmer! Mr. 3 PhDs!"

"Actually four," Ray corrected you.

"See!" You yelled, moving your pointer finger closer to him, startling Ray a bit, "Look at you! You have Palmer Tech, well had." You corrected yourself, "You're this brilliant guy, who created the Atom suit! You create so many things, so many weapons, inventions and just useful things! Yet, me? I'm just your average mechanic! I didn't even go to college; I'm nowhere near your mind! Why would someone as great as you be stuck with a loser like me?" Your voice shook, your eyes on the verge tears, "There's no way that something this good―"

It was the first time you felt his lips. They were soft, fitting perfectly around yours instantly calming you from your tangent. Ray pulled away; you were shocked at how sad you quickly became when his warmth left you. "I'm sorry," Ray apologized, rubbing the back of his neck, "It was the only way I could think of to calm you down." Ray turned away from you, grabbing your hands into his. He rubbed the backs of your hands with his thumbs, "I know it's odd but isn't that how this works? You may think you're not good enough for me, but I think you're perfect."

"Really?" You joked, causing Ray to chuckle.

He nodded his head in confidence, "Yeah, you may not see it like I do, Y/N, but you're incredible. You are intelligent, I mean come on, you maintain a ship from the future; who else can adapt that quickly? You're so kind and try to see the positivity in everything. You're fearless; you look after everyone, you're talented. Maybe it's the opposites attract, but I'm sure that we are―"

It was your turn to silence him. You took your hands away from his to turn his head, leaning in to kiss him. It caused a wave of electricity going through your body. You continued to kiss him, that feeling never left, and he wasn't shy about kissing you back. He placed his hand on your cheek, letting you rest both hands on his chest. It was a whim, something that you weren't confident about, the whole soulmates thing, but maybe Ray was right: you two destined for each other.

"Y/N" You heard your name being called out. There was the familiar warmth that you remembered, feeling a hand on your cheek. Waking you from your vision, you fluttered your eyes open to see Ray's worried face staring at you. You brought up your hand to place it on top of his, smiling at Ray.

"Hey," You whispered, giving his hand a squeezed. Ray let out a sigh of relief seeing you wake up.

"Ms. Y/L/N, are you alright?" Dr. Stein asked you. You nodded weakly, trying to sit up to answer the doctor.

"It must have been the side effects you had warned me about," You lied, smiling at the Legends, "Must have hit me later than what I guess it's supposed to," You slowly got to your feet, but your knees gave out. You wobbled, quickly grabbing Ray to hold yourself upright.

"We should take you back," Jackson offered, "Have Gideon take a look at you."

"I like that idea," Ray agreed, taking you into his arms, lifting you off the ground.

"I thought you said you were strangers," Marie finally spoke up. The team froze, forgetting she was even in the room; she watched how each man worried about your well being. You directed your attention to her. Marie had her arms crossed, her fingers tapping at the ends, "I have a bed she can rest on." She offered, opening the doors behind her that lead to another bedroom.

"That's nice of you, Ms. Laveau, but if we take Y/N―" Marie rose her hand, growing annoyed with Nate. She narrowed her eyes at the man of steel.

"It wasn't offered to you," She grumbled. She returned her gaze to Ray and you, inching her finger for Ray to bring you to the room. "Come." You held onto Ray more, having him accept the voodoo queen's offer. Once you both had entered, Marie was quick to shut the door to block the others from entering. Ray placed you down on the bed, sitting next to you.

"You know each other," Marie mentioned once more, taking a seat from across the room. She placed her hand under her chin, wondering what was going on.

"Yes, no, yes, no, kind of―" Ray tried to come up with the correct answer, but he stumbled with his thoughts; spiraling out of control. You grabbed his hand, calming him down.

"It's complicated," You informed the queen. You took in a deep breath, "You see, I lost all my memories, everything I had involving with the men out there and with Ray." Ray squeezed your hand, watching you discuss your issue with Marie.

"You two were lovers," Marie figured out, getting up from her chair to go over her collection of herbs, "Lie down."

You looked up to Ray, confused by Marie's instructions, "I don't think voodoo can help with what Y/N has." Ray tried to explain.

Marie didn't bother to look over, "Then there's nothing to lose, is there, Mr. Palmer?" Ray gave your hand a last squeeze, leaving you on the bed alone. Marie returned with some herbs burning. You did as you were told, turning your head on the pillow to see Ray watching you. He was biting his thumb, nervous for you. Marie started her chant, waving the smoke over your body. You shut your eyes, getting lost in a trance when it hit you.

Your biggest memory.

Tagged: @mad-doctor-mew @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @inspiredbynewt @writing-multifandom @thecraziestcrayon @x-goddess-of-nature-x  @saysay125 @writing-multifandom

[notdeadjusttrash-blog]

My Friend has been Falsely Accused of Tracing So I Will Defend Him

Okay I accidentally deleted the blog I posted this one because I’m a dumbass, so I’ll just repost it here even though I don’t use this blog anymore, but apparently I still have followers. Bless caches because I was able to get this back from google caches so I don’t have to retype everything. I added further evidence and refutes to claims that were not in my original post btw.

Anyways, I am making this post to help out my good friend @5ru9 aka Falco who has been recently accused of tracing/copy pasting other people’s / official art!

I’ve known Falco for over 3 years, and we’ve grown as artists together. Once in a while we give each other advice on art (thanks for the mech and armor advice and teaching me how you line and color!), but most of the time we just meme each other.

Anyways, a lot of people have pointed out that they’ve seen him livestream before, and he’s already posted some of his block outs and other wips as proof that he does not trace in his post here:

http://5ru9.tumblr.com/post/168277137427/hello-i-have-been-informed-about-a-callout-post

To further prove his claim with solid evidence, I shall present to you!

Times he’s asked for advice on his art, or I randomly decided to mention things I notice in his WIPs!

Exhibit A-1:

A Tenkai Knight he made up! I pointed out a few things I thought were awkward about the perspective in his WIP.

Exhibit A-2:

He started working on this way back in July and didn’t finish it until much later because he was working on several other pieces at the same time. I suggested lowering the eyebrows and drawing the eyes a bit narrower to get more of the playful expression he was aiming for. In his final piece here, you can see that Falco continued to refine the piece.

By the way! The reason he sometimes posts a lot of detailed artworks one shortly after the other is because he sometimes works on multiple pieces at once! And then finishes coloring them around the same time.

Exhibit A-3

Falco and I spent good time trying to figure out why he felt like something was wrong with his sketch! I thought maybe it was the trapezius and I decided to red line (or blue line i guess) it so it’d be easier for him to see approximately where i thought the line should go to fix it.

Exhibit A-4:

The gif-ing process turned white bg into blue… anyways! Falco showed me an early version of his Tenkai Knights OC that he eventually used in an April Fool’s joke to pass off as a new character in the series. He mastered the tenkai style enough that at first glance, people really did believe it was official! Like you had to get a good look to realize Shiyu was not really a real new character! Btw I had to go into my old twitter acc to find this…. (Edit: the gif wasn’t working bc it was too big so i had to make it smaller… and choppier and stuff to fit the mb max)

Well now that brings us into!!!

Exhibit B

Some of his old art!! (I’m so sorry falco i’ll be exposing your ancient art to ppl now)

Here you can see his progress from 2014 Tenkai fan art to early 2015! It starts looking more and more like the official art, which is what he was going for.

For reference, here’s what the character Ceylan Jones/Washizaki looks like:

I blocked out fan art by everyone except falco (which i marked) that shows up in this google search. Everything else is official art. The two fan arts by falco you see here are more recent, the angel one being from 2016 and the chicken one from 2017 (i think he also made a version with sonic instead of the chicken? lol). They’re both on his dA accounts btw! The 2017 one really looks like official art, doesn’t it? But it’s his artwork! He practiced a LOT to reach that point, and I hope the earlier arts I showed above this one are enough to convince you in his art progression! Side note: i only used images w/ceylan because 1. i’m biased because ceylan is my favorite character and 2. he drew ceylan a lot because ceylan is his favorite character Also you can see his handle change from s3iwashi to burningbraven. 5ru9 is is a pretty recent handle.

ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THE TENKAI FANDOM FOR A WHILE CAN VOUCH FOR HIM!!!!!

And now for the last one,

Exhibit C

WHAT? WHO IS THIS???

This is my favorite character from a Chinese series called AOTU World! His name is Grey, or 格瑞。I commissioned Falco to draw Grey for me, and let me tell you it would be IMPOSSIBLE for him to have copied any of this. Why? Because the donghua is 3D and the manhua’s art is very inconsistent!

Let me show you the reference pictures I gave him to work with!

They’re all in my gdrive folder here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1CqwH5KS-pHX0ZqLHQpoIZBi6W-gsU_Tz

This is all official art from the manhua, except the 3D model is from the donghua. Look at how inconsistent the references are! There’s no way he could have copy and pasted or traced this! Grey doesn’t even do this particular pose anywhere. lol. I told Falco “give him a cool sword pose”. (I’m sorry for being so vague, Falco! But it turned out great!!) The style he ended up drawing in was a mixture of all of them.

Btw!! here’s the blockout and the sketch he sent me before I sent my payment for the commission!! You can see his construction in the block out!! The arm construction and leg construction is light, but it’s there. You can also see the block out below the sketch. Notice he actually fixed the leg length from block out -> sketch?

ARGUMENTS AGAINST SPECIFIC ACCUSATIONS

LOOK, thte actual drawing doesn’t even match the sprites that closely. Pay attention to the collar especially. The whole frankensteining the image and then painting over it thing is just way more effort than drawing it himself. They don’t even match that well in the overlays. Like wow it’s such a crime to try and stay on model.

WHO WOULD EVEN NEED TO TRACE A MOUTH LIKE THAT? IT’S SO EASY TO DRAW. I CAN DRAW IT PERFECTLY JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. (well i AM an animator so I also do style mimicking)

Doesn’t the fact that you have to edit the sprites to match his artwork prove that you’re just a tryhard in making up fake evidence and not a tryhard enough at art since you think it’s so impossible for people to draw characters on model?

Yes he referenced the broom and possibly the heels from this image, but your overlays for the leg and arms are disingenuous and you know it. The leg positions are different, and the overlay doesn’t even match up. Face tracing also makes no sense. You literally stretched the mouth to try and make it fit but it still doesn’t fit. Do you really think it’s that hard to draw mouths and eyes in the DR style? DR faces are really simple to emulate. Also you fool, if you follow Falco’s artwork enough, you’d realize the way he draws bodies is actually rather consistent even as he does different styles. Especially when it comes to hands. His way of drawing hands is how I recognize his art and know right away it’s his art and not official art or a trace (also his coloring style). The heels he drew are also reminiscient of how he typically draws shoes/feet. he draws them bulkier. The other art has dainty heels. At most he referenced how backside works because he’s used to drawing sneakers.

Also come on, if all you referenced from an image was a broom because you liked the style (his is also clearly drawn by himself since you can’t overlay it on the other one. like i said he mostly used the style as a reference for how-to-broom) and you referenced pieces from many other images, are you going to list every single thing you referenced? While yeah it’d be nice to, it’s a little ridiculous to expect all 5-20 references whenever they post the image. It’s a thing where, if someone asks, you’d tell them, but it’s too much to list all of it. This isn’t a 20 page thesis.

If it’s such a crime, then holy shit sue all those people who parody other people’s comics and sue everyone who dares!!! to ever draw something remotely similar to someone else. Dang.

Art doesn’t live in a vacuum.

Okay, this one is just plain stupid. You distorted the sprite to match it up with his, but what would be the point for him to distort it just to trace? Also if he traced, can you explain the rest of the fingers that are drawn nicely but clearly different from the sprite? Also the thumbs don’t even match up. His faces more downward while the sprite is facing more forward. Also explain the turned body in Falco’s sketch, then!! And the hair! OH WAIT YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BY ANY OTHER WAY THAN HE DREW IT HIMSELF!!! BECAUSE NO SPRITES MATCH IT AND YOU CAN’T FIND ANY SPRITES TO DISTORT ENOUGH TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO MAKING FAKE EVIDENCE FOR IT.

By the way, the style he drew it in is closer to the drv3 than this sprite. while it’s pretty much the same style as the older games, drv3′s art is more refined than the older games. Falco’s art is also more refined as you can see. (wow not only did falco’s art improved from back when we first met; even professional artists improve. shocker. /s)

Dude what the hell? The overlays don’t even match up even ifi you tried to frankenstein them. And these are really common poses at really common angles, and once again, must every single thing we reference from be listed in the description of every place we post an image? Let me just list all 30 videos and 50 images i used as reference for one of my prints. jfc.

As for the saihara animation based on the digimon opening animation? It was pretty clear to everyone that it’s some kind of parody. Many people when making parody animations don’t mention the original video either?? It’s a fun thing for fans of the franchise to recognize the reference themselves. Yes he could have said it was the digimon opening on the description, but at least he didn’t say he thought of the idea himself? And if you talk to him about the animation, he will openly tell you it’s from digimon. And the fact that you think it’s a trace despite how much the overlays do NOT work out is practically proof that you’re just doing this maliciously and hoping that saying he traces enough with shoddy evidence will make people believe you.

ALSO PEOPLE LITERALLY TRACE ANIMATIONS TO MAKE PARODIES OF, DOWN THE STYLE WHERE ALL THEY CHANGE IS THE HAIR AND OUTFIT, AND YET SOMETHING WITH DIFFERENCES EVEN DOWN TO THE STYLE LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU THINK IS A TRACE? Do you need a new pair of glasses?

I was gonna ignore this one because it was the same as a lot of the others, but you literally erased Falco’s face line so it would match the sprite, and you covered the bigger boobs Falco gave her, and totally ignored that the angle doesn’t even match properly. Like you covered parts of his sketch in your overlay just to make it look more like it matches, but if you actually fucking overlayed it correctly, even with squashing it, it won’t fit. (Also sorry to point this out Falco, but the circles on your goggle lenses are too small compared to the sprite; Maybe if you actually traced like this person claims you’re doing, they’d be perfectly like the sprite. OH BUT WAIT YOU DREW IT YOURSELF SO OF COURSE THERE’S SOME DIFFERENCES. JUST LIKE HOW EVEN THOUGH ALL YOUR OTHER WORKS ARE REALLY CLOSE TO THE STYLE AND PRETTY MUCH ON MODEL, THEY’RE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME WITH THE SPRITES! SHOCKER...!)

HOLY FUCK. I already pointed out and gave evidence that Falco started on the Nier Automata drawing waaaaaaay before he posted the actual picture. The 2 sketches are sketches! They don’t take a super long time. I busted out 10 inktobers in 1 day. (thumbnails of my artwork below)

Look I even even lined and colored 5 fairly detailed chibis in 1 day (i did the sketches earlier though. btw i hand drew the plaid on ray. it was annoying)

At the moment I have 5 wips. They’ll likely all be done around the same time. I know Falco often has multiple wips as well, and sometimes he also finishes some of them close to each other. Some artists (like my friend Fish) can pump out extremely detailed paintings in less than a day. WOW some artists can draw at a fairly fast rate. WHO KNEW? (manga artists in weekly magazines pump out 15-20 pages of manga in a week)

He’s still developing a style; he’s mostly doing style mimics of series he likes in the mean time.

At the moment he’s mostly experimenting with the drv3 style, but he was practicing p5 earlier. By the way, he DESIGNED a phantom outfit for mishima. Who the heck would he copy that from? He made it up because he loved mishima and wanted to make him part of the gang in some AU fan art. Mishima doesn’t have artwork like this for him to trace, so it should be obvious it’s his own work.

And the pokemon and crash bandicoot ones are actually not that close. The pokemon one looks like a good attempt at imitating the pokemon style, but since he hasn’t practiced it enough, you can tell it’s a little off model because, well, he drew it himself and doesn’t practice the pokemon style a lot. Same with the crash one. Had it been a trace, with his level of control over his lines (which you can’t refute), it would have been much closer.

And you act like it’s a crime to imitate others’ art style. It’s really not. What is wrong with you? Do you want to slow down animation production by only letting the character designer draw everything? Or do you want animation where the art has 0 semblance of consistency because all the artists draw in vastly different styles? lol. What do you have against artists that try to stay on model?

LOL THIS IS ONE IS SO STUPID WHERE DO I EVEN START?

Oh, I KNOW. Why don’t I do that same pose with my own hands?

IT’S A MIDDLE FINGER, YOU IDIOT.

Just because YOU don’t know basic anatomy and can’t tell a middle finger from a pinky, doesn’t mean everyone else is as incompetent as you. He wasn’t doing the rock-on hand pose (sry idk if that pose actually has a name lol), and he’s drawn the rock-on hand pose properly before.

Closing statement

I believe I covered a lot of things and provided a lot of evidence here that Falco and his other friends did not cover in his defense against the false accusations.

I even added more counter arguments in this repost because apparently my original post wasn’t enough to convince people.

Perhaps the person calling him out meant well (no, I doubt it because they made a new side blog just to diss him because they knew if they did it on their actual blog, they’d be called out for being a jerk), but they did not do enough digging to find out if their claims were true or not (and they probably know well enough that they MADE UP THEIR EVIDENCE).

If you’re going to make a call out post, please make triple sure sure of everything before you accuse people. Talk to them first. Talk to those who know them too.

Many jobs require you to be able to draw characters exactly in the style given. Animators for example! There are multiple animators working on one series, and they all need the skill to draw consistently! Some games also have teams that need to be able to draw in the same style so they don’t have to leave everything up to one person. Comic artists often have assistants that help them draw background characters, but those background characters can’t be too different from the main style either.

As for the people who believed the call out post before, it’s perfectly understandable. I am also guilty of falling for similar posts in the past. Due to that, I decided it was best to double check before retweeting (i say retweet because i use twitter far more than tumblr these days. heck i almost never post anything on this blog) things, and if i wasn’t sure, I would just leave it be.

I hope my post was able to convince you on Falco’s innocence and all his hard work. And if you already believed him but checked out this post anyways… Thanks! ObligatoryPleaseWatchAotuWorld.

And again:

Art does NOT exist in a vacuum. All artists are influenced by each other and MANY artists, especially professionals, use a lot of references, whether it be from photographers, their own pictures, others’ artwork, life, or whatever. We all use many different resources. If you’re going to say that’s wrong, you just dismissed millions of artists in the world.

[visions-skam]

CHAPTER 1

notes:  at the beginning of each upload, i will include a song that i listened to while writing that fits the mood of the writing. also, @smoothyousef ‘s original character karl makes multiple appearances so i apologize for that in advance. please let me know if you enjoyed this chapter! i’ll be updating this story on here and on the ao3 account @spaceygemini every other day, so please stay tuned for more!

thursday, october 27 staying up-the neighbourhood A doe-eyed, curly-haired little girl skipped along in a wooded area, humming nursery rhymes. She stopped when she came across someone sitting cross-legged on the pine needles beneath a towering tree. It was a boy only a little older than her. The girl came closer to him and waited for him to notice her. After a moment, the boy looked up and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was looking past the girl, as if he didn’t see her. “Hi, Sana,” he said, his voice tinged with melancholy. “Hi,” she replied shyly. The boy used the hem of his shirt to wipe his eyes. He had been crying. “What’s wrong?” The boy sighed and repeated the lines that everyone who’d sat under that pine tree before him had said. “I’m going to die, Sana. I’m going to die, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.” _____________________

Sana awoke in a cold sweat. She felt her forehead. It was feverishly warm and damp with sweat. She was used to having dreams like that. She’d had premonitions in her sleep for the past six months or so. She had never told anyone, mostly because she had never had any reason to believe the predictions would come true. This time though, it was different. This time, she’d recognized the person under the tree, even though he was younger in her dream. They had known each other for as long as she could remember. It was Yousef Acar, her brother’s best friend. _____________________

Sana gazed into the mirror, searching for any imperfection in her appearance. Noticing that her hijab was a bit loose, she plucked a silver heart-shaped pin to secure it. When she was finished, she looked back at her reflection. Even after applying makeup, she could see the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t gotten much sleep recently between studying for exams and the growing intensity of her nightly phantasms, which had culminated with last night’s dream. After she’d woken up, she couldn’t go back to sleep, so instead, she had spent all night Googling those who thought they could predict death. Most of the people recorded were raving lunatics, now probably locked away in places like Eichen House. No one she found online was in any condition for her to question them about their abilities. It’s for the best, Sana thought. I don’t want to end up like them. Besides, I don’t even know if my visions are true. I shouldn’t worry too much. Yousef isn’t going to die. That’s… that’s impossible. Sana swirled a makeup brush in a powder compact and applied it under both her eyes. She blended it in before swiping on dark lipstick. She smiled at her reflection. Perfect. Just as she was getting up from her chair, she heard a voice call from the bottom of the stairs. “Sana! Hurry up!” her brother called. “If you don’t come down soon, you’ll be taking the bus!” Sana grabbed her school bag from the floor. As she was about to leave her room, something on her laptop screen caught her eye. It was the research from last night. She closed the search window and turned the laptop off, fearing her parents would see it. “I’m coming, Elias!” Sana said, rolling her eyes. Elias was so annoying sometimes. Who did he think he was, rushing her like that? Sana walked downstairs, grabbed a granola bar for breakfast, and kissed her father on the cheek. She called out a goodbye as she left the house and met Elias on the sidewalk outside. Yousef was waiting for them, his faded blue Jeep parked on the curb. Sana gasped softly when she saw him. She had never really paid much attention to Yousef, but today she felt relieved when she saw him alive and joking with Elias. “Good morning, Yousef,” Sana greeted him with a warm smile. In some weird way, she felt like she should be extra nice to him today, seeing as she had basically foreseen his death only a few hours ago. “Hi, Sana. How… how are you?” Yousef smiled at Sana radiantly, as if he could see nothing but her, but Sana didn’t seem to notice. Elias sure did, though. “I’m… I could be worse,” she said, sighing slightly. After a joking around for a few more minutes, the three were off to school. ____________________

“Alright class, get out your homework from this weekend. I’ll be checking it for a grade.” It wasn’t even lunch time, and Sana was already extremely annoyed. First of all, she was in AP Calculus, which she found easy but hated with a passion. Second, some ninth grader had spilled coffee on her Spanish textbook before second period, which she would have to pay for. Third, Karl Magnusson kept trying to find excuses to talk to her in class. And fourth, she was still thinking about her dream last night. She heard Yousef’s voice in her head over and over, repeating the same morbid sentence. “I’m going to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” That had thrown her concentration completely off, and she’d been scatterbrained in every class. Sana rifled through her backpack, searching from her homework from that weekend. She couldn’t find it. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she remembered where she had left it. It was right next to her laptop, and she’d forgotten to grab it before she left. The teacher was coming down the aisle, only three desks away. And to top it all off, Karl had just tapped her on the shoulder for what had to be the twentieth time in the past hour. Great, Sana thought before turning around to shoot a snarky remark at Karl. Nothing could possibly make this day any worse. _____________________

The day got worse. A whole lot worse. But that came later. When Sana got to lunch, the small group of interchangeable clones she usually hung out with was nowhere to be found. She contemplated eating in the library, but decided that was cliche, and extremely nerdy. Just as she was about to sit down with Elias and his friends, she spotted a girl sitting alone by a window. Sana had never seen her before, but she looked nice, and more interesting than the vapid look-alikes she usually talked to. Sana approached the table where the girl was and sat down. The girl was reading a huge leather bound book, and she was so engrossed in it that she didn’t even realize that Sana had sat down. Sana cleared her throat. “Hey, mind if I sit here?” Sana asked. “Oh, sure, of course,” the girl said, embarrassed. She closed the book and set it aside. Sana peeked at the title. GATONYE BESTIARY. A complex symbol was inscribed on the cover, and she caught a glimpse of some French words. The girl hadn’t said anything else, so Sana decided to introduce herself. “I’m Sana.” “I’m Laila. Nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you too. I’ve seen you in the hallway,” Laila said. “Oh, my God that sounds so creepy, sorry,” she giggled. Sana laughed too. “No, it’s okay. So what are you doing sitting all alone? You’ve got to be pretty interesting company if you’re reading a book like that,” she said, gesturing to the book on the table next to Laila. “Um, I’m new here. My family just moved here and this is my first day.” “Well, Laila,” Sana said, leaning in conspiratorially. “How would you like to be my new best friend?” Laila looked surprised. “Um, don’t you already have friends? I mean-” Sana nibbled on her bottom lip. “Not really. Just… acquaintances.” She paused meditatively and grinned. “So, is that a yes?” Laila broke into a smile. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” Sana smiled. “Good.” _____________________

After school, Sana was in a terrible mood. Before the last bell rang, Karl had made crude comments about her to his stupid lacrosse team cronies and she was thisclose to slapping him across his smug, misogynistic face. He’s such an asshole, Sana fumed as she shut her locker, and everyone just lets him get away with it because he’s the captain of the fucking lacrosse team. Pathetic. Sana slung her bag over her shoulder and stalked outside. She scanned the parking lot, looking for Yousef’s Jeep. She spotted it parked near the athletic fields. When she was about halfway there, someone grabbed her arm. Sana whirled around, ready to unleash a stream of curse words. It was Karl. Sana sighed, chuckling drily. “Unbelieveable. What do I have to do for you to get it: I’m not into you!” She tried to walk away, but he tightened his grip on her forearm. “Just give me a chance, Sana. One date, okay? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” Karl wiggled his patchy eyebrows suggestively. “No!” Sana exclaimed angrily. “Let me go, or I swear I’ll kick you ass.” She felt her face get hot. She knew she should stay calm, but Karl was just so infuriating. Karl smirked. “For a girl who’s trying to convince people that Islam is peaceful, you’re pretty violent.” Sana flinched as if he had hit her. “The only thing I’m trying to convince you of is to let me go!” Sana tried to wrestle her arm free, but she was unsuccessful. Just as she was about to start screaming at him, Yousef walked up. “Hey, Karl,” he said testily. “Is there a problem here?” Karl loosened his grip a bit, but not enough for Sana to get away. “Nah, man, everything’s fine. We were just talking.” Yousef stepped closer to Karl and looked him in the eye. “And everything will stay fine if you let her go.” He spoke quietly but fiercely. Karl stared into Yousef’s eyes for a moment more and then slowly dropped his hand, releasing Sana. “Whatever, man,” he scoffed. Yousef shook his head a little and then turned to Sana. “Are you okay?” he asked. Sana exhaled sharply. “Yeah, I’m fine. Karl’s just…” She trailed off. “You shouldn’t have to put up with that,” Yousef said bitterly. “That guy is horrible. Have you reported him to the administration?” “Yeah, once,” Sana said, shrugging. “They didn’t do anything. They just said it’s a part of high school. Boys will be boys and all that.” She let out a harsh laugh. Yousef studied her intently, momentarily drowning in her chocolate eyes. “No one should have to put up with that. Especially not you.” Sana smiled a little. “Thanks, Yousef.” She paused. “You’re a good guy, you know that?” Yousef shrugged. “I try my best.” They both smiled and walked the rest of the way to the car. Elias was leaning against the car. His eyes were fixed on a pretty brown-skinned girl he’d never seen before. Sana followed his gaze and recognized Laila. She smirked and cleared her throat. “Earth to Elias! We’re here, let’s go.” Elias snapped out of his trance. He had a look on his face that Sana had never seen before. It wasn’t the usual hungry expression that he usually wore when he saw a pretty girl, but something deeper, more thoughtful. Sana smiled to herself. If that look meant what she thought it did, things were going to get interesting. _____________________

After Sana had completed all of her homework that night, she was exhausted. Her day had been so hectic, and all she really wanted was a solid night of sleep, something she hadn’t gotten in years. Sana showered and pulled on ratty pajamas, and then crawled into bed. She tossed and turned for a few minutes, and then resolved that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep when her thoughts were so tangled around her macabre dream. Sana swung her feet out of bed and turned the lights on. She sank into her desk chair and powered up her laptop. If I can’t sleep, she figured, I can at least try and make sense of this… Her thoughts trailed off. Nothing she had ever learned had even given her the knowledge to name the nightmares plaguing her subconscious mind. Sana went to Google. When she went to search something, she had no idea what to type. She stared at the screen, almost mesmerized by the cursor blinking in the search bar. She slowly started to type something. “fortune telling dreams" It was the most sane-sounding way she could explain what was happening to her. In less than a second, over two million results popped up. Sana scrolled down the page. All of the webpages seemed to be about dreams in which someone tells the future. In other words, nothing helpful. Sana tried again. “predicting the future through dreams" This time, thirty-six million results turned up. The first link was an article in the Huffington Post. Sana let out a small breath of relief. The Post was a reputable source, not the capricious ramblings of some lunatic. She skimmed the article. It was written by someone whose relative had dreamt of their deceased family members in the weeks leading to their own death. “Perhaps we should pay attention to the messages we receive through our nightly dreams, and not dismiss them as trivial, for they may be a startlingly accurate indicator of what is to come.” When Sana read this last sentence, she flinched. She had hoped the article would quell her rising concerns about her dream, but it did the opposite. Here was a professional writer published in a legitimate news source, saying that dreams affected life. Sana shut her laptop and sat there, frozen in the dark. She wondered how such an innocent article could have such a profound impact on her. She turned the lights off and slipped back into bed, but sleep never found her. Sana instead laid awake the whole night, a single thought circulating through her mind. If she went by the reasoning used in the article, Yousef’s life could be in severe danger.

[hydrangeathief]

The Great Halloween Party Disaster of 2017

(contains both canon egos and egos that have recently been invented at least in part by yours truly, which you can get by heading on over to my tags for ethan egos and tyler egos)

“This is the worst idea we’ve ever had,” Blank said, stretching to hang a black and orange strip of crepe paper from the kitchen cabinet.

“Nah, it’ll be fun!” Challenge insisted. He was perched haphazardly on top of the fridge, attempting to secure a plastic skeleton to the wall. Mrs. Thompson, at the kitchen table, frowned when Challenge leaned forward a bit too far for safety, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“We invited Wilford Warfstache to a party,” Blank pointed out.

Challenge stopped trying to pin the skeleton to the wall for a second and stared into the middle distance. “I guess we did.”

“We also invited Anti,” Blank continued. “And every ego we know.”

“Yeah, we did,” Challenge said. He sat back and dropped his hands into his lap. The skeleton, abandoned, slumped off the wall and onto the floor. “Fuck. Are we gonna get ourselves killed tonight?”

“Can we die?” asked Postman. He’d opted to relax on the couch instead of helping with the decorations, despite the general atmosphere of nervousness Blank was automatically causing because the party was supposed to start in half an hour and they’d yet to get any real decorating done.

“I dunno,” Challenge said. He shrugged and made to lean over the edge of the fridge. Blank opened his mouth to stop him and Mrs. Thompson even got so far as to almost say “no, don’t” but it was too late. Challenge dismounted the fridge by tucking and rolling into some sort of somersault that miraculously ended with him on his feet, perfectly intact.

“If you keep it up, you will,” Mrs. Thompson muttered, but she said it lovingly. She ruffled Challenge’s hair as he passed on his way to the living room. He flopped onto the couch next to Postman, who frowned at the disturbance.

“Please don’t jostle me,” he complained. Challenge bit his lip in an effort not to make the obvious joke about fragile packages.

“Party starts in twenty-seven minutes,” Blank broke in, and the others hurried to get to work before the creeping sense of lateness could sink in. 

“This was a mistake,” Blank muttered to Stone. The two of them were in a corner, leaning against the wall, as far from the thick of the party as they could get. 

“You’re not wrong,” Stone muttered back.

In the kitchen, Challenge seemed to have convinced Bing and Chase Brody to participate in something that probably could have been a wild drinking game, had alcohol been involved. As it were, there was simply a good deal of yelling and flailing. 

“Wanna take bets on how long it takes before something goes wrong?” Blank suggested, but even as he said it he knew the answer.

“Give it twenty minutes,” Stone mused.

Blank sighed. “You’re giving them the benefit of the doubt.”

Stone hummed thoughtfully and they went back to watching the party. Mad Mike, who’d gotten off work at the ice cream shop only half an hour ago, was trapped in a conversation with Wilford and Jackie, both of whom had clearly had enough sugar to last a lifetime. Marvin had somehow gotten the attention of Mrs. Thompson, Apocalypse, and Peevils at the same time, and seemed to be enthralling them with card tricks. The Host and all four of the Googles were clustered around Anti, who was clearly enjoying having their attention on him as he told some story, complete with sweeping hand gestures and full-body glitching. The King of the Squirrels and Robbie chatted pleasantly over a bowl of punch. Dark leaned on the far wall and seemed content to watch silently.

The party was a ticking time bomb, and Blank could feel the counter winding down.

“Oh, Wilford,” Mad Mike laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. Whatever Wil had said must have been hilarious to have had both Mike and Jackie crying tears of laughter. “You kill me.”

Blank felt his heart stop.

“I mean, I guess?” Wilford said, puzzled, and shot Mike point blank.

The room devolved into chaos. More than one person was screaming, more than one person attempted to flee, and more than one person rushed to Mike’s aid.

“Wilford, we’ve talked about this,” Dark admonished, which only served to spur an argument between what were arguably the two most powerful egos in the room.

“He told me to,” Wilford said. “You can’t fault me for doing what he wanted!”

“Guys?” Mike asked from where he’d fallen to the floor. “I’m bleeding? A lot?”

“I can help!” shouted Dr. Iplier.

“Let me take a look,” Dr. Schneeplestein said.

“Would you two knuckleheads get out of my way?” Mrs. Thompson complained, shoving the two doctors aside. She knelt next to Mike and put a hand on his forehead. She frowned, but straightened up. “He’ll make it.”

“And how do you know? Dr. Iplier demanded. “Are you a doctor?”

Mrs. Thompson looked him up and down with a raised eyebrow. “Son, have you ever raised a child? Because you don’t look like you have. Why don’t you sit back and let the real professionals deal with this?”

“Fight!” Anti crowed from where he’d perched on top of the fridge. 

“Control yourself,” Dark broke away from bickering with Wilford long enough to say.

Anti glitched hard and sneered. “Make me, you three-dimensional drama queen.”

“As if you’re any better,” muttered Kenny Loggins, who was still put out that they’d collectively vetoed his idea to have The Band perform at the party. “Glitch bitch.”

“Take that back!” Anti shouted, leaping down from the fridge. 

“What do you plan to do to him?” asked Google Blue. “Your murder success rates are abysmally low.”

“The Host suggests taking a step back,” the Host suggested. Blank complied just in time to get out of the way of the first punch. 

In the months to come, several stories would be told in increasingly elaborate detail as to who, exactly, threw that first punch. The story changed from person to person, from day to day, but one thing was consistent: it was Mrs. Thompson who threw the best punch, and Dark wore the black eye like a badge of honor for nearly a week.

In the end all it took to break up the melee was Postman shouting, “Fire!”

All heads swiveled to the kitchen, where the stove was indeed on fire.

“How did that even happen?” Turkey wondered aloud, smoothing his feathers.

“I dunno,” Anti mused, wiping blood from his nose. 

“Should we do something?” Bim Trimmer asked, holding a broken wrist.

“Probably?” said Postman around a mouthful of broken teeth.

“Guys,” Jackie broke in, forcefully relocating his shoulder. “The fire’s growing.”

“Should we call 911?” asked Peevils, whose makeup was still flawless.

“Dialing 911,” Google Oliver said. A small piece of his face had torn off, revealing sparking circuits underneath.

“We need to leave,” Blank said. He and Stone still leaned against the wall. The last thing a free-for-all brawl like that needed was a guy made of anxiety and a guy made of rock, after all.

“Where to?” asked Bing. He held his broken sunglasses in his left hand and his broken left thumb in his right.

“I think the only place safe enough right now is Mark’s place. He shouldn’t be home,” Blank said.

“Someone needs to stay and talk to the cops,” Apocalypse put in, hefting his sledgehammer, the end of which was bloodied. “Someone human, and not damaged.”

All eyes searched the room for anyone remotely unscathed, and the horror was palpable when they came to the collective conclusion as to who would have to stay behind.

“Wilford, promise me you won’t hurt them,” Bim pleaded.

Wilford made no promises, but they had no choice. Dark whisked the group into the void just as the first siren came into earshot.

The group tumbled out of the void and into Mark’s living room in one clump of battered, bloodied, beaten egos. 

“Nice place,” Anti mused.

Mark screamed.

[worstshowever]

Alante & Nevaeh

“Alante & Nevaeh”

Season 6 Episode 2 

Original Airdate: March 8, 2017 

More Appropriately Titled: Kissin’ Cousins 

This season has been full of mooks so far. Here are two more. 

Alante emails “A small town guy with a big time love.” Nev immediately finds a way to make this all about him. He shares his dream car is a Cadillac Alante. Wow, big surprise. I learned something about Nev I neither asked for nor wanted to know. Alante is from Saginaw, Michigan. The crowd goes wild because 90% of America’s catfish are in Michigan. For eight (!) years, Alante has been in purgatorial relationship with Nevaeh. Ross and Rachel suggest she could be the female Nev. Please, for the love of God, I do not have the mental strength to handle two Nevs. 

Alante has gone to meet her multiple times. However, something always popped up that prevented them from meeting, which is completely shocking and unheard of. He says she disappears for weeks at a time. I also do that, but that’s because I’m rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. 

They get Alante on the horn. He met Nevaeh online when he was a senior in high school. They spoke for years, but it only got serious when they swapped heart and kissy face emojis. 

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert*

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons: 

1) Millennials are stupid. 2017 is stupid. The future is stupid. 

2) The art of communication is dead. Aristotle would be horrified. 

3) My mom literally just told me she needs attention. 

Alante and Nevaeh have Skyped, but she’s always been in a pitch-black room. Nev musters up the strength to talk about someone other than himself. He asks Alante if he sees how suspicious all these moving pieces are. Alante says, “I try not to think of it like that.” I don’t think he’s thought much about the mechanics of this relationship.

Nev starts rambling some garbage about how this will be the one! She will be who she says she is! It’s mad trash. This is why you should sign my WhiteHouse.gov petition to have me replace Nev. Max completely ignores Nev’s barf-worthy sentiment because he, like myself, has common sense. 

They're off to see the wizard. 

They arrive in Saginaw. Surprisingly, Nev rings the doorbell instead of letting himself in uninvited. After chatting for a few minutes, Max does something very Nev-like and asks if Nevaeh’s tiny girl brain is capable of keeping up with Alante’s highly intellectual wit. Trust me, he’s no rocket scientist.

Alante tells Phoebe and Joey that he and Nevaeh spoke all day long until Jimmy Hoffa here suddenly disappeared for months at a time. She would reappear and pick up the conversation as if nothing had happened. Way to keep the upper hand, girl.

Alante has seen eight photos of Nevaeh in the last eight years. The stress of not knowing her is causing him hair loss. He was recently hospitalized due to the stress she brings him. I dead-ass don't even have a joke for this. Some people deserve to get catfished. We’ve seen plenty of bozos over the years deserve it. Nev definitely deserved it. Now this guy (eight years!). 

Nev drives recklessly through a parking lot and then they arrive at their off-brand Starbucks. Alante sends Monica and Chandler all the dirty deets and we learn Nevaeh has two phone numbers. 

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert*

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons: 

1) He should know better. Midwesterners are smarter than folks from the rest of the country. Think about the mental fortitude it takes to endure a -30 degree winter. It takes some brains to do that and not die. As a midwesterner from the greatest state in the union (Illinnoying), I am ashamed. 

2) I have nothing for this point. I did, but it’s in an argument with someone about how it’s pop, not soda. Politely, of course. 

The google image search yields results. Nevaeh is really Audrey. She has 13,000 Instagram followers. As they look through her Facebook, a producer tells them how to insert their usernames into the URL to look at their friendship and see what they've posted to each other. They marvel as if this is a great hack. However, Facebook has a button called, “See Friendship.” This is a prime example of why no one, especially the kale eating, trendy exercise-doing west coast, can measure up to the great midwest. If you want kale in the midwest, you gotta farm it. But I digress. 

Alante and Nevaeh have 46 mutual friends, which is a lot for a fake profile. All their mutuals are in Saginaw. They send out the Catfish miranda rights to all 46 friends. 

They google the phone number, excuse me, ONE of the phone numbers and learn it belongs to a Latoya in Saginaw. They do their super cool cutting edge new hack and find she and Alante have 23 mutual friends. I don't think this means anything at all and has contributed nothing to this search but what do I know. I only went to one of Newsweek’s top high schools and one of Forbes’ top 50 colleges. Both in the midwest. 

One of their 46 new best friends messages them back, so they decide to come on too strong and give him a call. Royon tells Rachel and Monica he was recently flirting with Nevaeh on Facebook. 

Max then says something so white, it’s wearing a polo shirt on a golf course; “She’s hollering at guys in Saginaw.” 

The next morning, Nev tells Max he continued on with Nev’s Catfish, written, directed, produced, and hosted by Nev and nobody else. He spoke to two more fellas from Saginaw. They both said Nevaeh flirted with them on Facebook. I do not know if the intended purpose of sharing this information was to show the wide net cast by this catfish or to needlessly slut-shame her, but either way, they achieved their goal. 

They head over to Alante’s house. He’s hosting a barbecue. The guests of honor lucky enough to meet handsome, rational Max are Alante’s brother, Joe, and his godsister, Ericka. Ericka’s chest and shoulders are all tatted up and I think women who tattoo their chest are mad brave. She says she hopes Alante gets the closure he needs because eight years is quite a long time to string someone along. She is also positive Nevaeh is a girl. I love this juicy lil diddy, so keep it in mind as we continue on this adventure. 

Joe and I have almost the same pair of glasses, so I’m going to trust whatever he says. As he puts nearly a whole hot dog in his mouth, he tells Nev he hopes Nevaeh can cook. Maybe I won’t trust what he says because that’s really not our top concern right now. 

Ross and Chandler sit down to show Alante the deer they shot on their hunting trip. As they open Audrey’s (the real girl’s) blog, the recoil hits Alante right in the eye. Nev shows Alante his and Nevaeh’s mutual friends. He asks if he recognizes anyone. Wow, c’est incroyable, Alante recognizes his Facebook friends. Nev then takes a tone as if Alante was the one who asked such a stupid question. To kick him while he’s down, Nev tells Alante Nevaeh is flirting with other fellas on Facebook. 

They show him Latoya’s Facebook. He does not recognize her. MTV plays an angsty song about pain and love lost. 

Nev shoots the ole gal a very demanding text. Right as Alante falls apart emotionally, Joey and Monica decide to leave. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Cool glasses, huh? However, mine are gold all the way around. 

In the car, Nev gets a call from Seiairah, Nevaeh’s friend. She asks to meet them. The goons are concerned this is a trap. A trap for what. You’re two grown men with an MTV camera crew. What’s gonna happen to you. 

They meet Seiairah at what I can only assume is an abandoned gas station where teenagers smoke beer at night. Seiairah is good friends with both Nevaeh and Alante. She says there’s more to Nevaeh than they know and she wants her to come clean. She offers to call Nevaeh since Ross and Phoebe have been unable to get in touch with her. Sieairah does the job MTV is paying them a million dollars to do. Nevaeh will meet them at a park in an hour. 

They meet up with Alante and, shockingly, Nev breaks character and doesn’t storm into his house uninvited. Alante confirms he knows Sieairah and she has a big crush on him. Sieairah looked like she was 16, so naturally, Nev says something gross and disgusting. “A little young. She’s cute. Not sure what your hangup is on that.” 

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert* 

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons: 

1) I am disgusted. 

2) I am appalled. 

3) I am legend. 

Max does not touch this with a ten foot pole because he’s not a human dumpster fire. 

The squad arrives at the park. Nev’s gross comment is followed by something equally cringeworthy. Nevaeh is Ericka, Alante’s godsister. I don’t totally know what a godsister is, I barely know what god is, but if you were raised together and/or have “sister” in your title, should you really be in a romantic relationship.

Ericka says this was a lesson Alante needed to learn. Eight years ago, Serairah had a crush on Alante. To prove he was a dirty dog, Ericka made the Facebook page to show her he talks to other girls. She says she continued the page for so long at Sieairah’s direction and chose her side over Alante’s as some sort of womanly solidarity. Nev calls her on her bullshit.

Nev takes Alante on a man walk to discuss man topics as men. Alante maintains he never had any feelings for Sieairah and never led her to believe he did. Handsome, thoughtful Max stays with Ericka. She tells him she never came clean because she wanted to let him down gently. What’s more gentle than a national television audience and the court of public opinion! 

The next morning, Nev performs a classic Nev action and barges into the house without knocking as if he is claiming it under Taliban law. He calls Ericka to come over and “talk calmly.” Nev finds all women to be hysterical and incapable of controlling their emotions. 

Ericka has arrived and she knocked like a normal person who wasn’t raised in a barn on the Upper West Side. She says, “If you hurt me, I’m going to get you.” Yes! We’re finally getting somewhere. I wanna know the petty reason someone stuck with catfishing for eight years. 

Back when Bush was still president, Ericka began dating one of Alante’s friends. We learn he was a dog and Alante knew but didn't warn her. They dated on and off for seven years. At that point, it’s Ericka’s fault. Come on. This guy wasn't into Ericka and Alante knew but didn't tell her. 

Ericka gets honest and says she loved the attention she got from being Nevaeh. The two establish their friendship is over and Ericka leaves in tears. 

Three months later, Ericka and Alante are on the Skype together. His dad passed away and mourning brought the two back together. Ericka is expecting. Nev practices his best gotcha journalism when he asks who’s the father. He looks like a local Toledo reporter who once had New York City dreams. Nev was sure he was going to end the episode with an M. Night Shyamalan twist. Nice try, Nev.

Recommendation: 3/5 Would Recommend. I'm a fan of any episode in which we meet a middle (wo)man before we meet the catfish. Plus, this one had a good creep factor because of the godsibling aspect. However, their relationship was not high-drama enough to justify eight years. That's fucking insane. 

Final Thoughts: I apologize for the quantity of rants and advertisements promoting the midwest. However, I do NOT apologize for what I said. Midwest is best. Follow me on Twitter @MaeveMcDonough I was just told by my boss to clean it up, so you know it’s good.

[biofunmy]

Years Ago, My Sister Vanished. I See Her Whenever I Want.

“Don’t worry,” reads the cover photo of my sister’s Facebook page. “Everything is going to be amazing.”

The words, in neon blue, green and red, glow from the screen as a kind of preternatural promise, a message from beyond. When I’m feeling stressed, I click on her profile, gaze at that image and take a deep breath.

People leave notes, messages and pictures on her page. They say, “I miss you,” “I love you” and “I’m thinking about you.” They can’t leave flowers, but they do leave animated hearts.

Sometimes they even travel through time by responding to a comment of hers from years before, and a certain magic is created — the conversation extending across a bridge of years, transcending her absence. The page facilitates a continuation, an afterlife.

On Facebook, my sister’s words are preserved, frozen like a photograph. And her photographs remain, too, marking the stages of her young life. You can view them chronologically, scrolling to see a giggling girl in a pink Patagonia fleece become an 18-year-old model with a disposable camera and a goofy smile.

You can watch her tan legs grow long, her hair become blonder and curled, her freckles scatter into constellations across her nose. You can see the seed of rebellion sprouting into an idea, her green eyes alive and wild.

Every so often I click on the videos tab and watch as she and a friend drive through a tollgate with incorrect change. I listen (again and again) as my sister laughs. The video is grainy and absurd, and it’s difficult to distinguish faces, but her laugh is distinct, ringing out my favorite sound, throaty and extravagant.

I used to call my sister’s phone when she first disappeared. I knew she wouldn’t answer — the signal had vanished the moment she had — but the voice mail was intact. When I needed to hear her voice, I would dial her number and she would tell me to leave a message.

Occasionally, I did. I would tell her about my day or ask where she was. Other times I would cry, my silence following the beep.

I used to text her number too. Technology allowed me to continue that casual correspondence like a widower might speak to a gravestone. I kept her up with the Kardashians, told her what colleges I had applied to, related gossip from our high school and the details of our parents’ separation. I told her crazy things, ridiculous things, things you only tell your older sister.

The messages were automatic, reflexive, a mode of self comfort. Until one night, while out with friends at an Irish pub in Boston, I received a reply.

At that point, it had been two years since the frigid January night when she took a taxi to the foot of Philadelphia’s Benjamin Franklin Bridge. Two years since my parents sat with detectives, viewing security camera photos that showed her walking toward the bridge’s high point in her red North Face jacket but not continuing. Two years since the searches for any trace of her came up empty.

My family never officially proclaimed her deceased, but the reality settled in our stomachs like the dust that fell upon her untouched bedroom.

When my iPhone buzzed at the bar in Boston and her name appeared on the black screen, I was so startled that I dropped it, my hands instantly slick and my heart racing.

I was a freshman in college then and hadn’t told my new friends about my sister. It was easier to say I was an only child than to reveal the complicated truth.

At the pub that night, a band was playing my sister’s favorite song, so I had texted: “I miss you.”

That’s when her name appeared, with the message: “Who is this?”

I rushed to the bathroom and made it into a stall, where I collapsed onto a toilet seat, thinking, “She’s alive. She’s alive.”

Shaking, I pressed the call button.

“Hello?” a voice said. It was a female voice but deeper than my sister’s, older. The woman explained that she had been given the number with her new cell plan.

My roommates found me sobbing in the stall, mourning a new kind of loss. They guided me out past a well-meaning stranger at the sink who said, “Whoever he is, he’s not worth the tears. Trust me.”

I wanted to say, “He is a she, and, trust me, she’s worth it.”

I told my friends the truth that night, though it’s a truth I have struggled to face myself.

After all, if I could still see her, hear her and text her, was she really gone? If Facebook reminded me annually of her birthday and calculated the passing years into her current age, then her death wasn’t a period or an end but more of an ellipsis, and I could still imagine the “…” of a chat bubble popping up at any moment.

When someone you love disappears, there’s no finality of an autopsy report or the closure of a funeral. All you have is a lack of presence. You can piece together the mystery like in the Nancy Drew books you used to devour, but there’s no memorial service to confirm the truth. And that’s the problem: The promise of possibility, however faint, is harsher than any certainty.

It has now been five years since her disappearance, and I still fantasize about an alternate outcome. That senseless hope is hard to smother, the off-chance that someday I may see her face in a crowd, as familiar as my own reflection. I’ll run toward her and save her this time.

I have this dream a lot, intruding on other dreams, bullying them, demanding to be heard. Several years ago, my mother suggested we delete my sister’s Facebook account, wondering if it was inappropriate, the way her online life is paused with her random thoughts and photos on public display.

Ultimately, we decided not to. It brings me too much comfort.

As the years pass — I am now the age she was when she disappeared — I have come to know her better from the quotes she posted in her bio, the songs she cued in her iPod, the comments she left on her friends’ photos. It’s like getting to know someone through glimpses in a window, but it’s better than nothing.

And yet, I understand my mother’s view. There’s something indecent about holding on to social media. It’s so alive, so casual, so improper. There are screenshots of FaceTime conversations, selfies, profane jokes, a picture of her asleep with a friend’s Chihuahua.

Recently I read about the development of chatbots that can imitate human speech patterns. The technology is being considered as a way to facilitate bereavement, allowing us to communicate with loved ones through text messages. Using personal data and old messages, the bots can respond like your father, grandmother or sister. They can use your loved ones’ favorite phrases and dialectic habits. They can say, “I miss you, too.”

With such sophisticated technology, the question is no longer what’s possible but what’s morally permissible. In the gray area between preservation and personality theft, there is a danger of too much holding on and not enough letting go.

Memorials never feel like enough to the grief-stricken — never big enough or grand enough to commemorate the people we lose. Technology may get us closer, replicating faces and voices with alarming accuracy, but it will inevitably fall short.

These days, there are fewer friends posting on my sister’s page, not as many hearts. As Instagram surges and Facebook recedes, I wonder how long her page will remain active. It’s sad to think that interest in my sister may depend on the relative popularity of a social media platform.

For now, the photos keep her memory vivid, and I like the solidarity of knowing when others think of her and how they express that love. With absence comes forgetting, and Facebook helps me remember what I cannot bear to lose.

On her page, her essence remains. The way she extended her words with too many vowels, “I miss you” becoming “I miiiiiiis youuuu!!!” The bright colors of her crochet top. The fuchsia she painted her nails one summer. A picture of us on Cape Cod, my gangly knees resting on her tan shoulders at sunset.

I can see the scar on her lower lip from when she fell out of her bedroom window, sneaking out to a high school party. I can see her nose scrunched up as she readies herself to tell a joke.

Facebook cannot mimic my sister’s flowery handwriting, remind me how she smelled when wearing her favorite perfume or hug me the way she used to. But it can preserve the post she left on my wall six years ago that reads, “I love you.”

Sometimes, that’s enough.

Kyleigh Leddy is a senior at Boston College.

Modern Love can be reached at modernlove@nytimes.com.

To hear Modern Love: The Podcast, subscribe on iTunes or Google Play Music. To read past Modern Love columns, click here. Continue following our fashion and lifestyle coverage on Facebook (Styles and Modern Love), Twitter (Styles, Fashion and Weddings) and Instagram.

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[popofventi]

Ventipop #233 :: Kinky Karma, Nordic Noir & The Prison Inside Me

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever."  -- Sagan

HERE ARE THE MOST INTERESTING, HUMOROUS AND INSPIRING THINGS I FOUND ON THE NET THIS WEEK. IF YOU ENJOY, IT WOULD BE AWESOME IF YOU WOULD HELP SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT VENTIPOP AND SHARE WITH A FRIEND.

Joy To The World

SPECIAL THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAVE MADE CONTRIBUTIONS TO VENTIPOP THIS WEEK:

BRYAN JAMISON, LAYDON MCGUIRE, EDNA SIGORSKY, ANTNY HARRISON & LISA MCCADE

It’s A Small World After All

South Korea - For the past five years, a mock prison facility in Hongcheon, South Korea, has been locking up paying “inmates” for brief stays in simple cells where mobile devices are prohibited, talking with other participants is not allowed, and no clocks can be found. Welcome to The Prison Inside Me

Ancient Rome - "Evidence from an archaeological dig has found," wrote Telegraph science correspondent Richard Alleyne in 2012, "that legionnaires wore socks with sandals" — ancient Roman legionnaires, that is. "Rust on a nail from a Roman sandal found in newly discovered ruins in North Yorkshire appears to contain fibres which could suggest that a sock-type garment was being worn."

Japan - In Japan, the swastika still appears on maps and buildings, in its original unflipped form, as a way of designating a variety of positive meanings including good luck, prosperity, and eternity. For Westerners, the swastika induces feelings of disgust and remorse; the tacit acknowledgement that we must not let evil consume us again. Japan is the host country for the 2020 Olympics. Should Japan modify how it culturally displays swastikas before taking the world stage? The debate is on.

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."  -- Abraham Lincoln

Snaps & Buckles & Things

Years ago, I was working in a dive shop when this little old lady with a British accent came into the store and asked if I could direct her to the craft store located in the same shopping center. I told her where it was and after a brief back and forth, she thanked me and in her thickest Hogwart’s sounding accent said this very line: “Well, I’m off for some snaps & buckles & things”. I’ve been quoting it ever since. Sometimes it’s ok if you’re the only one that gets the joke. After all, if you can’t make the audience in your head laugh, it’s gonna be a long, lonely life. Now, “snaps & buckles & things” are the links to the small stories that also make me laugh.

Instant Karma Gonna Get You - Jerk tries to drive through giant snowman not realizing it was built on a tree stump

Poorly Researched Men’s Fiction by McSweeney’s Evan Allgood

PopQuiz, Hotshot! - How Open Minded Are You? (I’m radically open minded!)

If you scored high on the quiz above, you may be happy to hear your partner probably wants a kinkier sex life

TV’s The Office helped a Tucson, Arizona man with the last name Scott save a woman’s life

Strangest Reader Submission of the Week :: Thanks Reader Tony Clayton for submitting The Cleverlys performing “Gangham Style”.

I will sing nothing else all week.

"I don't really go out at all."  -- Jack Kerouac

Culture Vulture

Design - I had no idea my family room was Nordic Noir until I read Tiffany Lewis’ nice piece about 2019 trends in interior design over on Spacify.com.

Science - A fascinating new study claims to link gum disease as the root cause of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Goods - It’s a date! Check out this scrolling calendar that spans an entire decade. Check out more of our favorite goods here.

Food & Drink - Non-Alcoholic bars are a thing, but how do they work?

Travel - If you’re both an avid traveler and a social media influencer (not to mention somewhat of a cheap skate), Amtrak Is Searching for Travel-Lovers to Ride Its Most Scenic Train Routes for Free

Books - I’m in a literary lighter fare mood lately. Currently, I’m reading Dry by Neal & Jarrod Shusterman. It’s a true story about what happened when we all ran out of water. I also recently finished The Bomb Maker by Thomas Perry. I recommend both if you’re looking for a book that’s both entertaining and fast moving. Get more book recommendations here.

Recommendations

True Crime TV :: 3 Excellent docs To Watch

1) The Staircase :: Streaming on Netflix - Accident or murder? Author Michael Peterson claims to find his wife’s bloody body at the bottom of the staircase inside their home. The police arrive and immediately become suspicious. The events of this documentary take place between the years of 2001 and 2018. I couldn’t decide the entire time watching this doc whether or not the accused, Michael Peterson, was someone I should feel sorry for or someone I should be scared to death of.

2) Making A Murderer, Season 2 :: Streaming On Netflix - Like everyone else who watched the first season of Making A Murderer, I was pissed off on behalf of the accused. I thought the defense team did a pretty decent job on behalf of Steven Avery, but he was convicted despite their efforts due to a corrupt justice system in the state of Wisconsin. However, after watching an even more infuriating season two of the series, Avery’s new attorney, Kathleen Zellner makes it clear just how incompetent Avery’d defense team were and presents a very logical alternative explanation to the crime and those involved in the ongoing coverup.

3) The Jinx :: Streaming on HBO - This is one of the craziest docs you will ever watch. The story delves into the strange history of real estate heir Robert Durst, long suspected in the still-unsolved 1982 disappearance of his wife as well as the subsequent murders of family friend Susan Berman and neighbor Morris Black. It features an extended, revealing interview with Durst himself. He’s hard not to watch. The final moments of this doc are guaranteed to leave you sitting there with your mouth agape.

Some Long Reads

Some private colleges are doing the unthinkable: Slashing Tuition Prices

"Fox will always be best known for his Back to the Future films and his other acting roles — that's only natural. But his most important legacy is the Fox Foundation, the model it created, and the hope it has given to people who have Parkinson's disease." Joe Nocera in Bloomberg: The Michael J. Fox Foundation Gets Results

2019 Seems like the perfect year to begin using a search engine that does not track you. Nothing Can Stop Google. DuckDuckGo Is Trying Anyway

I used to go into people’s homes for a living as well, so I totally related to this story: I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America.

Aeon - The Marvel of the Human Dad

Check out more Long Reads in our Mental Yoga Archive

Encore :: New Songs We Love This Week featuring new songs by Over The Rhine, Jenny Lewis, Florence + The Machine, Lady Lamb, Phoebe Bridgers, Conor Oberst & More

Ventipop #233

-xxx-

[lovenerdywinnerbouquetfan-blog]

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Renting a fleaflat n lilmexico, houston. they require an additonal $20 for insurance can i use my own insurance company? does anybody outthere use apartment insurance? i do not have any insurance of any kind so stop bundle answers""

What will happen if i dont pay my car insurance this month?

I am a student and find it financially. I recently had to get my car repaired so I now do not have enough money to pay my insurance this month (192.10) I was thinking of asking if I can skip this month and request double payment this month? What are the consquences of not paying the insurance for a month. My friend believes it can damage the policy and they may ask for the full ammount? Im with quinn direct

Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?

I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""

What does a saliva test took for when getting life insurance?

What does a saliva test took for when getting life insurance?

To get maturnity insurance or not?

I am currently 29 years old and just recently married. I have come to a decision I have to make on my health insurance. I am not planning on getting pregnant for at least the next 2 years. So do I or do I not take the maturnity insurance. It would be a differance of 140.00 a month! Crazy since I am on the pill trying not to get pregnant. But it is still possible to get pregnant on the pill, but highly unlikely. So my question is do I take it to be on the safe side or waive it until it gets closer to that time. Money is tight and I hate to sink money into something I will hopefully not need. Any views on the situation would be much appreciated. Thnx.""

Young drivers - What is your insurance?

Hey there! Im an 18 year old male , and to get insured on a 1999 1.0 GLS Vauxhall Corsa it will cost 3000+ a year! Am i doing something wrong , what kind of car should i look for? (that quote was from Gocompare.com). So yeah , young drivers what is your insurance , what is your car and insurance company? Thanks""

Wondering about maternity insurance?

okay I dont have maternity insurance. My insurance will only cover me if I have complications. Is this what most people have? or do you have an insurance that covers maternity? I am asking because we are trying to have a child and I am losing my mond trying to find a good insurance co. What and whom do you recommend and why? and say I got the insurance in a month for maternity coverage will it cover me right away if I get pregnant in 2 months or etc or do I have to wait a full year to have the insurance and than be covered? Cause thats what I have been hearing.. ANY help would be great!!! thanks!!! ttc#1 on 8th month trying!!!

How much is car insurance for a 19 y.o?

Hey, I know people are going to say I'm dumb for asking, but I'm wondering how much car insurance would be for a 19 y/o. I want to get a car, but I need to pay the insurance. I'm not looking for a great car, so I'm sure I'll pick something insurance friendly. Also, would it be cheaper if I still had my parents insure the car technically and paid them the amount?""

quotes insurance ireland

quotes insurance ireland

Driver Education/Insurance Rate Information?

For my Driver Education class, one of the assignments goes as follows: Call a local vehicle insurance company and ask if you can take a few minutes to ask some questions. Ask what the insurance rates will be for you when you are ready to drive. Also, ask what the rates would be for someone your age who is not taking any driver education classes. What will the rates be when you are 25 years old? What are they for a person without driver education? What are they for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated? If anyone could spare me the phone call, it would be greatly appreciated.""

1993 camaro car insurance?

I'm looking to buy a 1993 used camaro with a v8 engine and 145k miles on it off craigslist. I just need to know how much the car insurance will cost me. I'm 16 turning 17 in a month. I get A's and B's in school (someone once told me grades help lower car insurance) and havnt gotten into any accidents yet. i know you guys can't give me and accurate price but i just want a general price range from any company. i'm trying to find a really cheap car insurance. so can someone please tell me a general price range i might end up paying for the car?

Car insurance wrong information coverage upon car purchase..?

i bought a new truck, i am a first time car buyer and got the independent insurance agent the dealer had.... the agent told me that he was informed by the insurance agent that i will have a one (1) year coverage for the auto insurance as well as the amount of my monthly premium.. when i got the policy i was shocked to find out i only got six months coverage for the insurance and my monthly premium increased... they got PROGRESSIVE as the insurance company. i have already paid the required first six months (according to the agent) insurance premium and have to pay monthly for the remaining 6 months... which is not the case when i got my policy... is there a way how to handle, change this car insurance that i got? if not how could i send any complain to certain authorities/agencies for this kind of activities? any help is appreciated""

""Adding a driver to car insurance, average cost?""

if you add another driver to your insurance like your brother, or sister or son, who is a new driver, and your insurance costs $350 for six months already. how much do you think would be additional cost to this insurance as a result of this change? if you can share ur experience it would be nice. i know it all depends on the history of the new driver, but say the new driver did not have any accidents or anything. i need to get a general impression... Thanks in advance.""

Cheap Auto Insurance Deals?

Whats the best car insurance deal you know?

Why is unemployment insurance so cheap and health insurance so expensive?

The government deducts my unemployment insurance but I have to pay health insurance out of earnings? Seems like the government takes less. Conservatives hate low prices only profits. We need to take health care out like unemployment.

Roughly how much would the insurance cost on an Audi A3 1.4 cost at 17?

Roughly how much would the insurance cost on an Audi A3 1.4 cost at 17?

Why is auto insurance so expensive?

I am 17 years old and male, I'm also about 3 weeks from 18. I recently got a quote from Geico on a 97 Ford Explorer and they returned with $280 A MONTH for minimum coverage! My question is: -Are there any other options that would be cheaper than 200? Possibly around $100 to $150? -Would being added to my family's plan be cheaper? My dad owns a mustang and we also have a Ford Explorer, is Geico going to charge more even if I don't ever drive the mustang? -What can I do too get a cheaper quote? I can't afford nearly $300 a month! -I'm almost 18, Male, A Senior in High School, Currently Employed, Have average grades, Never had a DUI, car accident, and never been arrested. I'm not married as well. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! -Shawn""

""Im from the UK.Around how much would insurance cost for me a 17 yr old girl, buying a 1999-2000 toyota celica?

All helpful answers appreciated. Stupid answers are not welcome !

What is the price of insurance on a 1990 pontiac firebird?

I am 16 years old and just got my license. I am looking to buy a 1990 pontiac firebird. I was just wondering how much insurance would cost for a new driver.

""I have a company car, who should pay for the car insurance?

I have a year contract with this company and they are giving me a car for the duration of my employment. they told me i can use it for personal as well as work use. they told me i have to pay for my insurance though. is that fair?

Do I need to be on the insurance to get my license?

Im about to be 18 and I have an appointment at the California DMV to get my license. I've had my permit for a year. my boyfriend wants to take me. his car is registered and everything is fine but his insurance doesnt cover other people driving his car. can I take the DMV test in his car or not?

Will my insurance rates go up because of this?

I cancelled my Esurance policy and went to State Farm. I received a cancellation email afterward. My policy with Esurance is set to cancel completely on the 8th but I got an email today saying my policy had lapsed. Will my insurance rates with State Farm go up because of this?

Auto Insurance coverage -- How much Liability and Medical?

I got a couple of questions about about auto insurance coverage. Namely, what's the best amount of liability and medical coverage to select. 1) For the liability, I know it's wise to get the best liability that one can afford to cover your assets. But how about if one also gets umbrella coverage. For example, if one gets an umbrella coverage at a $2 million limit and the liability limit for the auto insuarance is $300,000 or $500,000, does it make sense to select the $500,000 or is it better to select the $300,000 limit since the umbrella coverage would kick in? 2) for medical, is this redundant coverage and not needed because wouldn't the liability portion also cover medical expenses? Or is it wise to get this, for example, if a passenger is not insured (no health insurance), so the medical part would help out in that case? Thanks.""

I have an insurance quote of 1300 for a punto 1.2 on a provisional licence?

if i take this quote what will happen when i get a full licence will it go up or down?

What happen if drive car with no insurance?

i've been buying this used car since last 2 weeks and drive it with no insurance. The MOT and tax will end in August. I just cant afford to buy the insurance yet. What happen if i don't insured it? i live in Northern Ireland, UK""

How would you change your car insurance if your car was over ten yrs old?

idk what my stupid teacher means by that.. i know that car insurance would increase but im not sure thts what she is asking with this question.. thankyou =]

Where can I find affordable medical insurance as a self employed person?

I am a self employed person so I don't have medical benefits like you would if you work for a company. I am paying well over $600 a month for medical insurance coverage as a business owner. Does anyone know of a program or something that offers cheaper insurance to business owners?

Insurance on newly bought car?

When you buy a car, you kind of have to drive it home without insurance. What happens if you get in an accident or get pulled over? I'm talking about buying a used car, if that makes any difference.""

Where can i get a car insurance policy which lets me drive any car including hire cars anywhere?

i have a normal car insurance policy in the uk which allows me to drive my own car in europe. i want a policy which allows me to drive other cars anywhere in the world

When does health insurance kick in when you start a job?

I've never had a job with insurance. I'm hoping that I finally receive my first full time job with a company (I'm a recent grad). I'm in desperate need of health insurance to take tests on my heart but it's so expensive! So if you start a job, usually how long does it take to be able to take advantage of having the health insurance?""

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Why can't i get cheap car insurance?

i recently passed my driving test and i'm thinking of buying a cheap 1000cc car but every site i check i can't get anything less than 6000 a year even tho the car is like 600. i even have pass plus..

What would the cheapest car to insure be (uk)?

any suggestions on what would be a cheap car to insure for a new driver (18)

Does your car insurance go up if you get a parking ticket?

I was just being dumb today and I parked in a neighborhood where you can't park. I accept the fact that I was in the wrong and all that. The fine is $80. What I'm most concerned with is whether or not it will increase my car insurance rate. My first thought was no, because it was a parking violation, not a driving violation. But considering how crazy car insurance companies are, I just am not sure. Any help? Thanks in advance.""

quotes insurance ireland

quotes insurance ireland

What car insurance company should I go with?

I am looking for the cheapest car insurance for a 19 year old who has a clean driving record

""If you have Amica car insurance, how much does 1 speeding ticket cost you?""

I live in Massachusetts. Have a perfect driving record but now I'm charged with 1 speeding ticket. How much more in insurance premiums will it cost me if I plead guilty? It's a regular speeding ticket, not DUI or wreckless driving. THanks""

Where is the best place to get insurance for my scooter?

i know that scooter insurance runs around 120 a year but all the quotes i keep getting from places like Allstate and progressive are more like 1167 a year. Where is the best place to get comprehensive insurance for my scooter.

Why does my car insurance provider ask for other people in household?

Does it matter who I live with if they aren't going to be driving my car? How will it affect my rates? When I first got my insurance I lived with roommates - they had good driving records but still they never drove my car (they had their own!), now I live with my fiance who has a DUI - will my rates go up because of it? He has his own truck and SUV so we rarely ride my car and when we do I ALWAYS drive... so why do I need to tell my insurance company (Mercury) who else resides in my home?!""

""My friend backed his motorcycle into my car, who's insurance covers it?""

My friend backed his motorcycle out not paying attention and backed into the side of my car leaving 3 deep scratches from the pegs on the side of the bike. Also, the bike and the car were in his driveway. He does not have insurance on the bike, but we both have liability on our cars. How do we go about getting this issue resolved?""

Why does having access to more than 1 car put your insurance premium up?

I'm trying to get insured on my mums car, the quotes on insurance comparison websites are higher when I mention that she is insured on somebody else car though...""

Why is my car insurance so high?

iv just passed my test and looking to insure a car, any car to be honest, iv got 2 convictions with 6 points for no license and no insurance 3 years ago now, and my quote on 993cc suzuki swift was 2086, WHAT THE F##K!! i even just tried a 205 diesel and it was over 3k?????? what i dont get is my friend got a 1.1 punto with a recent dui and ban and his insurance is only 1800 which is high but shudnt mine be less as my convictions are not half as bd and where done twice the time ago as my friends!!!!""

How much is car insurance for a new driver in London?

I'm 27yrs and I'm looking at buying 2000 VOLKSWAGEN POLO 1.0 E 3dr Hatchback. I want to get my full driving licence before I buy the car which means I would be a new driver when I want to get the insurance. I just want to have a rough idea of how much I will be paying annually. I know i cant get the right figure, just need a rough idea of the minimum/maximum i would have to pay. Any contribution will be highly appreciated.""

Car Insurance Question?

If i have a fully comp insurance policy in my name, can i drive any car on the road, with no limitations ie. engine size, make, model, and does the car which im hoping to drive need to be insured by someone else, or not, thanks in advance""

""Car accident, no insurance?""

Hi, i got into an accident Friday. I was cut off on the highway and when I went on my breaks my car started to skid out of control due to ice. A car in the left lane struck mine. I am on my fathers insurance and found out when I called my insurance company to report the accident that my policy was cancelled last July. My car and registration and insurance is all in my dads name, i am just a registered driver. If the state of RI decides to fine me for not having insurance, or the other driver decides to sue me for it, will that go against my father or myself? Thanks.""

Car insurance prices ?

How much does insurance cost for your first car and also how much would group 14 car insurance cost for a first car

Is there one day motorcycle insurance?

I'm planning on buying a motorcycle in Philadelphia tomorrow or this weekend, but I still haven't seen it yet. If I test ride it, like it, and decide to buy it, I'm gonna have to ride it home. I figured out the registration part of it, where I can acquire temporary tags for the ride home, but for insurance, I don't want to insure something I haven't seen yet. Is there any way or company that does like one day insurance just for the ride home, then I can and will officially register and insure it. Thank you""

What is a good insurance policy for a motorcyclist?

I'm 17 and I have good grades and a job. Im driving to school and to work. Im geting a ninja 250 cc. I litterally own the motorcycle, I paid in cash from a dealer. Do I need liablity insurance? How about comprehensive? collision? medical? Please, I want to pay an addordable insurance policy. Please give me some good policy rates for a 18 year old. ty""

Please help me get health and dental insurance?

I am 20 years old and make about $250/week (bi-weekly checks vary from about $420-520 after taxes). I am in desperate need of health insurance and I badly need dental coverage. This is horrible, but I need at least 5 fillings maybe more. I have weak enamel and I am prone to cavities. As you can tell I dont make a hell of a lot of money (and I work almost every day, but of course my hours were recently cut because the owner decided to hire a family member and pay them twice as much to sit on their *** and tell me to do the stuff I already do on my own initiative, then ***** that payroll is too high) I have to pay car insurance and constant car repairs until I can just replace it with one that wont need so much tlc and money. This makes it pretty hard to save when I keep on paying to fix things. I have a phone bill to pay as well and I do not have a house phone so it is necessary to keep in touch with family and work. Please help me figure out how to get the best coverage possible that will be affordable on a teeny budget. I really am in desperate need. Thank you so much!""

How much car insurance do I need?

I have a 2007 Honda Element and live in an area where people drive really expensive cars on a regular basis (i.e. Tesla's, custom Mercedes', Porsche's, Lotus'...). Also, Elements tend to need windshield replacements a lot. I will be driving children around as well so I need sufficient coverage for that. I was basically just curious about how much coverage I need because I'm getting the feeling that I have too much coverage therefore am paying too much. Currently my coverage is: -Bodily Injury: 100,000/300,000 -Medical Payments: No Coverage -Uninsured Motorists: 100,000/300,000 -Property Damage: 100,000 -Comprehensive: 100 -Collision: 500 -Auto Death Benefits: 15,000""

Insurance........................

I want to get self insurance. wich insurance is cheap and good?

Question about Michigan auto insurance! URGENT!?

I have a son that has his drivers license and he doesn't have a car. He does NOT drive my car! Does he have to be on MY policy? If he's on my insurance it raises it 500 dollars for 6 months! HELP!

Car accident/car insurance help 18 year old girl?

i am an 18 year old girl (almost 19) living near miami, fl. i am looking to get my own car insurance eventually i have had 2 major accidents -the first one was when i was 17. totaled a 93 bmw in the rain, no other cars involved. i was in the hospital for a week -the second one was recently, i rear ended a small car with my 98 mountaineer. i got a careless driving ticket. the damage is pretty bad (mostly to the radiator) i have also had 2 speeding tickets, both when i was under 18. right now i am looking to get a 2004-2010 used 4x4 pickup truck how much would car insurance cost me per month (estimate) and what would be the best company for me to go with?""

Health insurance question?

Had COBRA insurance, terminating, looking for health insurance. One health insurance has turned me down. Am on SSDI and have a condition that needs outpatient surgery monthly. Anyone have any suggestions?""

Babies insurance please answer?

I have medicare (pregnancy) and I was wondering how does it cover the baby when he is born and what do I do to get his insurance and all that? Thank you.

What is the cheapest insurance u can get with a cobalt ss because it is a super sports car?

i do not currently own it but if i find a super cheap quot so i can get it and i don't know much about insurance so can you explane why u have to have it and what it really pays for... if HyperGforce get in here i would really appreciate that because i love gm workers (my dad currently works there for 25 years and my grandpa also has worked there all his life so gm runs deep in my family.

What would happen with my insurance company?

I hit a car 10 months ago. The guy said I didn't have to pay for it because he said the car was a piece of crap. So no reports were filed or anything. 1 month after the accident, he wants the car fixed. What would happen if I called my insurance and told them this? Would my rates rise? Would I pay extra fees? Would my insurance still cover it? I live in California and have Farmers and I am under 18""

Affordable health insurance?

how does health insurance work? what are we really paying monthly? what are deductibles and premiums? my boyfriend needs health insurance he is 22 and a smoker and lives in nj he graduated from college already so he cannot get the school insurance and his job does not offer him insurance where can i find affordable heatlh insurance for him

Do I need health insurance for cosmetic surgery ?

Just wondering ? I have the money to pay for it, so I don't need the insurance to cover it..But the medical forms ask for that information, and I don't have health insurance yet ? Does it matter ? Can I get the surgery without it ?""

Question on Auto Insurance?

I live in California. I noticed on my insurance policy that I did not have collsion or comprehensive coverage on my car. I called my insurance company yesterday in the a.m. and told them to add the full coverage. I had an accident last night about 7 hours later. A lady turned left in front of me. Even if I was at fault which I don't think I was, did that updated coverage go into effect when I called the insurance company and told them to add it?""

quotes insurance ireland

quotes insurance ireland

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