#nev and max

[robsongirl234]

Who else wanted them to be gay & in love as a child

[velocitytimes2]

catalyst

rating: m pairing: max/nev

Max regrets the first time he kisses Nev Schulman. He regrets the fingers that scramble for purchase against Nev’s still too small frame. He regrets it most while his hands now search for the folds of Nev’s shirt to pull them together in a darkened hotel room. If he hadn’t kissed Nev back as early morning sleet stung his skin, he wouldn’t be here, ten years later, begging for Nev’s body to slam into Max’s orbit and stick there.

gratuitously ten years late to a fandom as always

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

save me yuuris ass and thighs

yuuris ass and thighs save me

also. Fic where Victor goes back in time and instantly starts working to hit his hubby up. However we dont know this and its largely from Phichits POV who gets Yuuri onto the show Catfish cus theres No Fucking Way that's actually Victor Nikiforov, no its someone trying to scam his fanboy of all time bestie

everyones all 'this is gonna be like the time that guy thought he was talking to Katy Perry isn't it' and its all very sad

lo and behoooooold :3 no scam!! Nev and Kamie do all the cooing as the instant Victor and Yuuri are within eyesight of each other, Victor is scooping Yuuri up and theyre giggling and petting each other and its veeeeery cute

Phichit is in awe. very Shocked Pikachu.

it becomes one of the most popular episodes of all time

idk if Yuuri has gone back in time too but itd be cool if he did cus i don wan Victor to be alone <3 quq <- always the most painful part of time travel fics for me

[versacethotty]

[cloudjumpervalka]

i think a silly life dream of mine is to be on an episode of catfish but like as a third party whos photos are stolen or something. i just want to have a phone call come in from nev ? id cry laughing

[barrywhelk]

[likesnowatthebeach]

I love it when Max gets mad at the catfish to defend the person getting catfished

[juanitasupreme]

Nev and Max were so salty about the reveal when she has done them a favour

[roseorbs]

i’m rewatching catfish rn and this shit was quite literally deranged actually like wdym you flew across the country to grill me in my face on tv for ghosting you 😭

[takumiraine]

Once upon a time chapter 10

<first> <prev> <next>

Danny slept more soundly in these two little cat naps with Sam and Tucker (and Jason) present than he had in the last couple of years. Really since the ghost shit started. His first awareness was Tucker saying “no dude, seriously, watch.” Right before Danny remembered to breathe.

“Freaky…” he heard Jason mutter.

Danny opened his eyes. “Technically dead, remember?” He yawned, stretching in a way that he had been told most people couldn’t move in.

“It’s still kinda weird man,” Tucker said without a hint of remorse, even as Danny swatted him. “But your food’s done.” That drew Danny’s full attention. He sat up, taking the plate that had been offered to him. Carefully, Danny blew on the rolls, before popping one into his mouth.

“P’f’ct” he mumbled through his bite.

Sam shook her head. “So is your big bat friend aware that we’re coming too, as Danny’s backup?”

“Yeah. I told him. He’s not thrilled but what can he really do. He feels guilty that he missed a chance to help adoption bait.”

“So he doesn’t think I’m going to go villain on you?” Jason shrugged.

“You had plenty of time and motivation to do so to me.”

Tucker’s PDA beeped. He looked down at it. Looked up at Jason. Looked back at it. Showed the results to Sam and Danny. “Does that mean…?” Danny looked back up at Jason.

“Dude. Is your fucking dad Batman?” Danny asked.

“How….?” Jason didn’t have a good answer to that because if he said no, then in like an hour max, Danny would learn of another lie, but if he said yes, it felt like some sort of weird betrayal against B. “What makes you think that?”

“Because Tucker needed to isolate the crack you guys made into the GIW before he could make sure they haven’t done anything about it and… I’m pretty sure the main location came from right where your house is. So it’s either your dad or your butler.”

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please be surprised when he tells you. And please let me be the one to tell the Replacement that some random guy followed his hacking trail on a goddamn PDA, and was able to deduce Batman’s identity from it. He’s gonna froth at the mouth and I need to be the one to cause that.”

“Who’s the Replacement?” Sam asked.

“The kid that became Robin after me. He and Oracle led the break in to that site.” Danny crunched another couple pizza rolls, while Tucker looked triumphant.

“Watch, they’re like a big creepy family of crime fighting rich people.” Danny nudged his friends between bites. Jason forced himself to laugh along.

“You might never know. B said he was the only one he was going to out tonight.” Jason hedged, trying to play up the mysterious vibe.

The trio shared a look as Danny finished off the rest of his pizza rolls. “Right. Anyways. You’re not going to like blindfold us right? We can just go in like normal people? Or is he going to come to us?”

“He’ll send a car when we’re ready. No blindfolds.”

“Good because I’m not doing kinky stuff with someone I haven’t even kissed yet.” Danny said through another yawn, stretching out obliviously.

Jason stared, open mouthed.

“What…?” Danny asked when he opened one eye mid stretch. He ran back what he just said, face turning scarlet. “I mean… fuck. You know what I mean.” He groused, purposefully not looking at the other three. “You try not really sleeping for five years and see where it gets you.”

Tucker and Sam burst into a fit of laughter. “Called it.” Sam announced, fist bumping Tucker and deftly dodging the swat.

“I can’t believe I’m still friends with you two assholes.” Danny grumbled, still red. “Let’s get this execution over with…”

Bruce sent Alfred in the town car to pick them up. “Master Jason, it is good to see you are making friends.” Alfred’s voice was genuinely caring beneath the dry delivery.

“Yeah yeah. A, these are Danny, Tucker and Sam. Three new people for you to feed.”

“Most excellent, I am always being told that I cook entirely too much.” Feeding a family of vigilantes that never seem to sit still requires a lot of food after all. He opened the back door gesturing for them to enter. “Sirs. Ma’am. Master Jason, I assume you will be taking ‘shotgun’?”

Danny, Tucker and Sam slid into the car, squishing Danny in the middle seat. Jason went around and opened his own door as Alfred closed the back. “Yeah. I’m not feeling like the trunk tonight.”

The ride to the manor was tense, even though Alfred did his best to settle it out by talking about different foods in the fridge that needed to be eaten if ‘you kids’ -Jason included- would be amenable.

For Danny, it was torture on two fronts. First, he had no idea what he was walking into. The second was that even after a pile of pizza rolls, Danny still felt like he had a black hole instead of a stomach. Was that due to the fact his family never seemed to have an adequate volume of non contaminated food, he was a man under 25, a halfa or just hadn’t eaten much recently? Not even he knew the answer to that. He was just pretty used to ignoring the feeling.

When the car drove through the manor’s gates, nobody seemed impressed. Which would have been concerning if Jason hadn’t remembered seeing the Mansons at galas before. Danny seemed like he was trying to melt through the seats, regretting his choice to come there.

“I swear to fuck if it’s Vlad here…” he muttered to the two other teens, so quietly Jason almost didn’t hear it.

“You’d feel it wouldn’t you?” Tucker asked just as quietly.

“Maybe? If it’s not his domain it might take longer…”

“Well do you feel anything now?” From Sam. Jason watched Alfred’s eyes in the mirror. He was listening too.

“No…. Not him. This is the domain of something, but I don’t know who or what.” Danny tried to look out the window, squinting through the glass to look for Jason didn’t know what.

Eventually he shrugged and sat back as the car pulled down the winding drive. It was only as Alfred opened the door to the backseat that something odd happened. Danny’s breath came out in a single puff of winter condensation, and all three of them tensed. Bruce was standing there, watching them, and all three got out, lining up against the back of the car. Danny seemed to be looking at something, distracted while B was giving them the typical welcome speech, and ushering them inside out of the cool night air. Though the other two didn’t seem to be able to see what Danny did, they gave whatever he was looking at a wide berth.

“D?” Tucker asked, hand on Danny’s arm. He just shook his head.

“Not violent.” He murmured back. “Been here a long time…”

That brought up more questions than Jason thought he’d be able to ask in one night. If Bruce heard the exchange he wisely chose to comment on it.

They all followed Bruce into the main sitting room, and the trio sat on the couch while Bruce took one armchair and Jason shoved another to be more lined up with the couch before flopping into it in a way that was sure to make B’s teeth grit.

“Has Jason told you why I’ve brought you here, chum?” Bruce said to Danny once Alfred had brought them all drinks and an assortment of snacks. Danny immediately set in on the food, eating in a way that was just controlled enough to seem bored.

Danny was about to answer when Sam elbowed him in the side. He finished chewing and swallowed. “He said you’d explain everything when we got here. I assumed it was because you thought we were dating and wanted to give me the shovel talk.” A pause. “We aren’t.” Another pause. “Dating that is. These are good snacks.” Danny’s eyes kept darting to something over Bruce’s shoulder.

Jason assumed it was to the portrait of the late Waynes. Those eyes had an uncanny habit of seeming to hone in on you wherever you went. Still, before Bruce could process, Jason put on his best terrible southern accent. “Aw, honey, no need to hide from my father. No doubt you’ll be able to win my dowry in no time.”

“Jason.” Bruce sounded constipated. Good. Serves him right for tormenting Danny. “No, I brought you here because I have something very important to reveal to you.” Bruce waited an appropriately dramatic amount of time, causing Jason to roll his eyes. “I am Batman.” There was a moment before the trio let out the fakest gasp he’d ever heard. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What? No way!” God their acting was terrible. Danny was even doing that little nervous laugh thing he did when the topic of families came up in class.

“You knew.” It was less a question and more of a statement, then Bruce turned slowly to focus the full weight of his gaze on Jason. “They knew.”

Jason waved a hand. “Don’t look at me. They figured it out the moment I said we hacked into the GIW. Turns out having one of the hacks originate close to the house meant they could figure it out since they had some basic common sense deduction skills.”

“I….” Bruce sighed heavily and grabbed his mug, looking for the world like he was regretting every choice he’d ever made leading up to that point.

Danny snorted a laugh but covered it with a really badly acted cough. Sam elbowed him and he made a sort of helpless gesture and gestured off to the side of the room. Interesting.

“Care to share with the rest of the class Danny?” Jason asked, watching him as well as he could without actually sitting up.

“Uh… well… it has to do with uh… my powers. The lady over there…” he gestured again to the side of the room, “just told uh…. Mr. Bat…? Mr. Man…? That it’s what children do, and she’s had to watch her “Little Roo” do that to her for years now.”

At the name, Bruce sat up stock straight, looking around the room. “What kind of trick is this?” He growled, defensive. “How did you know that name?” Danny immediately looked nervous, grabbing onto his friends.

“The woman told me. The one in the painting.” Bruce and Jason both turned to look up at the portrait of the Waynes and that was all it took for Danny and his friends to completely disappear.

“Danny, come back. He’s not going to hurt you.” Jason sat up now, trying to locate Danny in the room. He knew the younger man and his friends were still there, he could feel Danny close but it was clear he was trying to reassess the situation.

When Danny didn’t immediately appear again, Jason looked around for something he could throw at Bruce. There wasn’t anything of an appropriate annoyance level immediately handy so he grabbed the pillow off the couch Danny and his friends had vacated and flung it at Bruce, taking no small amount of pride in the resounding thud it made as the fabric connected with his father’s head.

Bruce looked over at him then. “Can I help you?”

“Me? Nah. But you could try to calm Danny down before he gets sick of our shit and ghosts us permanently. He’s hiding here somewhere.” Had he just made a pun??? He needed to spend less time with Tim.

It was only then that Bruce seemed to shake off his shock at what Danny had said to realize that he and his friends were unable to be seen. “Danny? Chum? Jay is right. I will not harm you. I was just…. Shocked by the fact that my mother’s ghost is still here…. And making comments.” There was another moment of silence before Danny spoke again.

“Oh… that being your mom explains a lot. Your dad is here too, but he hasn’t said much.” Slowly, Danny became visible again, floating in the corner with his friends, who seemed far too used to being grabbed and floated off with for their own good. He lowered them to the floor first, and fidgeted with his clothes until Jason reached out and gestured to the remaining food.

“Eat or Alfred will be disappointed.” Carefully, Danny let his feet touch the floor again, and became fully solid and visible. Only once Danny was okay did Tucker and Sam go and sit back down, grabbing a snack for themselves.

“Sorry…” Danny murmured to all of them, retaking his position between his friends.

“Not at all lad. I should be the one apologizing to you. Tonight is the night of unexpected it seems.” Jason noted, that while Bruce should be apologizing, he in fact had not said the words. “I wanted to let you know, personally, that you will be safe from those government stooges while the League still stands. You should not have to be afraid to exist and had we received your messages when they were sent, we would have helped then.“

Danny narrowed his eyes, pausing mid bite. “You’d help some kid you don’t know, just like that?”

Jason snorted then, cutting off Bruce’s response. “Danny, B found like five kids, all with black hair, blue eyes and a tragic backstory. You fit right in.”

Danny looked at Jason for a moment, considering, then at the two ghosts that had stayed in the room. Finally, he nodded. “Alright. I’ll trust you. For now.”

“Excellent. Shall I have Alfred make up a couple of guest rooms?” Bruce looked entirely too happy at the idea of having guests.

“No, I’ve got my own place. But thanks…” Danny said, trying very hard not to look worried at the invitation.

Jason texted something to Alfred, then stood when the butler entered the room with a large ziploc bag. Jason stood and took it, then dumped the rest of the snacks into the bag before pressing it into Danny’s hands.

“C’mon. I’ll bring you home. You look exhausted still.” Jason carefully, but casually positioned himself between Bruce and Danny. Not that Jason didn’t trust Bruce, but Danny had been through a lot and Jason wanted to offer any protection or comfort he could. Danny nodded, standing with his friends. Sam looped one of her arms through his.

“Thank you for the food and assurances of Danny’s safety.” Tucker said diplomatically as Sam pulled Danny after Jason.

[daddyhausen]

mjf talking u through it🫣

｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ 「 TALKING YOU THROUGH IT HEADCANNONS 」 ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡

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「 MASTERLISTS 」 | 「 AEW MASTERLIST 」 | 「 MJF MASTERLIST 」

「 COMMISION INFO 」 | 「 LIKE MY WORK? BUY ME A COFFEE — KOFI — DXDDYHXUSEN 」

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「 SUMMARY 」 — talking you through it hcs w/ mjf

「 WARNINGS 」 —smut, 18+ [ MINORS DNI ]

「 WORD COUNT 」 — 114

「 PAIRING 」 — fem!reader x mjf

「 GENRE 」 — smut

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「 TAGLIST 」 — @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @mjfass @wardlow @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @legit9thlunaticwarrior @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @harmshake @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @seeingstarks @kennysbadkitten @darkangelchronicles @ripleyswife @selena-tyler-564 @auburnwriter @alyyaanna @nightmare-viper @nev-danielgarciawife

「 COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST 」

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you half expected him to be wrapped up in his own pleasure

so it came as quite a surprise when max was being all attentive to your needs

his words, although sweet and caring, held a hint of flirtation and dominance to them

he may be an asshole but he’s also a gentleman

“such a good girl, takin’ all of me so well”

“i know it feels good sweetheart”

“c’mon baby, just a little more. that’s it princess”

in the same breath, he’ll call you the filthiest things under the sun

“such a perfect little slut”

“greedy little whore, so desperate for my cum now, aren’t you”

all underlaid with praise only for you

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[onboardsorasora]

I went to the dentist today for my post op and there’s something about going to the dentist and having your praise kink stroked when they’re working on you.

So naturally Max is a new patient at the dentist in his new city. Everything is great and fine, the sign up was easy, they took his insurance (an important reason for why he chose them of course) and the wait to get in an exam room was negligible. 

Everything changes however, when his new hygienist walks in all sunshine and bright honey eyes. Max can’t see all of his face because he’s already wearing his mask but his eyes are beautiful and crinkly when he smiles. And Max knows he's smiling because the edges of his mask lifts with his cheeks. 

His name is Daniel and his voice is lovely, happy and his accent is taking Max for a ride. His dark hair is curly and a little messy, as if he runs his fingers through it often and Max could see a few tattoos peeking out from the sleeve of his bright blue scrubs.

It's lovely, he details everything he’ll be doing for Max today. It's just an intro appointment to get a lay of the land so they can plan his dental journey with them.

“We’re not gonna get into anything too intense today, just a few x-rays, and pictures of your pearly whites and then the doctor will be in to go through his recommendations. And then you’ll be outta here in no time.”

Max can’t help but smile because he can hear the smile in Daniel’s words. Daniel claps and does some finger guns before starting to set up. He puts the radiation vest on Max’s chest, Max does not catalogue the feeling of his gloved fingers when they cup the back of his neck to make sure the vest wasn't digging into his skin.

Daniel tells him how they're going to x-ray and he puts the little device in Max’s mouth. 

“You have beautiful teeth, Max.” Daniel says offhandedly, he was looking behind him at a screen. Max clenched his fingers underneath the heavy vest. 

“That's it, perfect. I’m gonna move this to your left upper…bite down for me? Beautiful love.” Daniel murmured under breath as he worked. Max dug his fingers in the meat of his thigh.

The torture continued, punctuated with the beep of the x-ray machine when it went off and the fresh smell of Daniel’s cologne mixed with his own natural scent. 

“There we go, I just need you to– good boy.” 

Max clenched his toes in his sneakers. 

“You’re doing so well for me Sweetheart.” 

Max wondered what the maximum pressure the little x-ray device could take before the stem snapped in half.

“Perfect baby, just perfect.” Daniel breathed, typing on the computer off to the side with one hand and stroking Max’s cheek unconsciously with the other. Max inhaled sharply.

Daniel looked back at him quickly, worriedly. 

“Let me get that out for you, your jaw must be a little sore.” Daniel sounded a little sheepish as he pulled the device away, Max watched the line of spit that still connected them thin away to nothing. He wondered if Daniel saw it too, if he maybe wanted to taste it. Taste what Max tasted like.

He was hard in his shorts.

Thankfully, Daniel took his time with putting back the x-ray extensions and taking off the radiation vest, Max was able to calm down a little. He was further able to refocus when his dentist came in, an older gentleman with shrewd eyes.

They discussed treatment plans and Max heard Daniel making notes whenever the doctor called out certain things. Daniel eventually left the room and his dentist continued to speak to Max about short term and long term goals. 

He was out front in the waiting room when he heard a loud honking laugh. While the office assistant scheduled his next appointment, Max’s eyes strayed to a lithe man in bright blue scrubs that turned the corner. He eyed him appreciatively, hearing his voice as he teased another hygienist and they laughed together.

“Alright Max, your next appointment is–” Max doesn’t know when his next appointment is because at that same moment Daniel turns around and sees him and smiles. Max has never really been bowled over by a smile before, by a face. But Daniel’s is gorgeous. Max wanted to kiss him, feel his nose bump his.

If Max was an artist then Daniel would be his muse. As it was, he was simply struck dumb by the man walking over to the desk.

“Georgie, are you treating Max here nicely?” Daniel teased, Max saw George roll his eyes fondly.

“Of course I am Daniel. He’s your favourite patient after all.” George grinned teasingly and Max saw Daniel’s eyes widen a fraction before he settled into a grin of his own.

“That’s right.” Daniel murmured and Max watched the way his lips formed his words. He wished he hadn’t worn his mask earlier so he could have seen how beautiful, sweetheart, and good boy had looked coming from those lips.

Max couldn’t help it. He blushed.

[the-hugger]

@aguineapigcouldntdothis @annotated-catastrophe @aroace-wizard @asteroids-in-space @be-gentle-with-littluns-2

@brightest-star-ai-hoshino @burger-churgler-secret @calypsori0n @chaoticgremlin-1 @chocolate-cake-enthusiast

@cookie-block @cordyline-uki @dragonerd8224 @emo-oreo @flaming-cactus

@f4y3w00d5 @four-leafed-queer-gal @homocidalpotat @i-eat-so-much-grass @inkfilledaria

@irusanw4 @januscorner @kermit-the-fag-official @kimu-dem @loki-god-of-mischief-13

@lucastheidiot123 @mentallyunstablequeen101 @meshaamem-li @mun-urufu @names-confuse-me

@nanochittle @nev-valkyriesdottir @nyx-taylors-version @0dditie @rileywritesreblogs

@saucy-mesothelioma @sentientballofpeas @silverliningspidey @sketchy-potato @smax-maxs

@sun13koi @supermilkshakebanana @teaktty @theetherealraphael @thebookshelflord

@therewillbenoromance @unstableunicornsofasgard @uwathebestgirl @violet-hady @27-cats-in-a-trenchcoat

[apomaro-mellow]

42!

The funny part of it all was that there had been a single, solitary moment, where Steve entertained the thought that this was all a joke. After all, in what universe did Eddie actually love him? But every touch was so natural. His smiles all looked genuine. He had really convinced Steve it was real.

Unfortunately for Eddie, his little game got revealed when Steve overheard him talking to his friends.

"I can't believe you've actually been dating Harrington for this long. I bow to your acting prowess", Gareth had said.

"What're you gonna do when time's up?", Jeff asked.

"I don't know...dump him...I guess."

Steve's heart had shattered but he forced himself to stay and listen. This had to be a mistake, a misunderstanding. Eddie would nev-

"Are you gonna make it brutal?", Craig asked.

"Naw, he doesn't deserve that. We had a few laughs and now we're moving on. And I'll be 60 bucks richer", Eddie grinned.

Steve felt like he was falling. He still was, even now as he stood in front of Eddie, confronting him when they met up at Skull Rock for a 'date'. What would've been their last date, had Steve not caught on.

"You...heard all that?"

"$60. That's all I'm worth to you?"

"Steve I-"

"Shut the hell up Munson. I'm done. You can get your money. Just don't ever talk to me again."

"I'm not-"

"Oh my god! Just give it a rest. I don't care if you feel guilty, or if you're trying to convince me this wasn't a game. I heard everything. I know it's fake. And I know you're an asshole." Steve turned to the side, not able to look at him all the way.

It was very easy to remember all the sweet nothings Eddie whispered to him. How it felt when he held his hand. But it was like Gareth had said, he was a good actor.

"We had a few laughs right?" Steve let out a watery chuckle. “Who’s laughing now?”

“…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.” 

Steve turned back to look at him just as he reached up to touch his face. It was wet. He hadn't cried when he and Nancy broke up, or when he was beaten within an inch of his life, or when he nearly saw Max die right before his eyes.

But of all things, of all people, THIS was what brought on the tears.

Happy Ending here

Send me a dialogue prompt

[blorger]

the Great Longbottom Bully Chronicles: Snape edition

We conclude our four-part investigation into Neville's canon bullies (pt.1, pt. 2 and pt.3) with none other than his most well-established tormentor, the big kahuna himself: Severus Snape.

Snape's mistreatment of Neville is undeniable but does our view of it change if we take into account not only the context in which the bullying happens but also Snape's personality (does not suffer fools), preferences (hates children) and situation (probably overworked to the max from all the extracurriculars assigned by Dumbledore, also the whole spy thing)?

I'm not looking to excuse Snape's bullying, mind you, what I am seeking to do is to understand it. Why does Snape do what he does? How much of his behaviour towards Neville is intentional? Also, how seriously are we supposed to take said bullying?

Answering these questions is not as easy as it may seem and it's only made more difficult by the fact that (as seen in part 3) the narration itself is often unkind to Neville. The fact that books 1 through 4 Neville is little more than comic relief affects directly how we feel about his mistreatment.

In the first books, Neville is a cartoonish character: he doesn't speak, he "squeaks" or "quavers". If something delicate is around, Neville is bound to either sit on it or send it flying. Neville spends the majority of the first 4 books in a constant state of fear: he gets descriptors like anxious, fearful, tremulous; he acts sadly, miserably, shakily; he cries, he moans, he whimpers, he stammers. All of this happens independently from Snape's bullying, though it must be assumed that said bullying contributes negatively to Neville's self image (which in turn guides his actions and mannerisms).

It's not until Goblet of Fire that we see a distinct shift in the way Neville is portrayed, with Barty Crouch jr (cosplaying as Alastor Moody) holding the honor of being the first adult in Neville's life to step up and offer him guidance (but only after intentionally traumatising him by showing him the curse that he used to ruin the minds of his parents, he's a multi-faceted guy that Barty).

This coincides with something I've already talked about: as the story's tone shifts, so does Neville's characterisation. From GoF on, we see a sharp decrease in both Snape's targeted bullying and Neville's fear of it, and they both come to an end in OotP once Neville's chrysalis is ready to hatch and he can become Neville 2.0, the Ultimate Hero.

Taking all of this into account, let's look at Snape and Neville's interactions in canon:

PS

(Neville manages to melt a cauldron during his first ever lesson: this is Snape's introduction to him.)

You can see from Snape's tone that he's immediately short with Neville (because he's a bad teacher) but this is also Harry's first lesson and Snape immediately redirects his frustration towards him instead. I give this a 4/10 on the bully scale since he's admonishing a student for a mistake, it's how bad he is at it that moves it into bully territory. He gets a 7/10 on the bad teacher scale, though, because an atmosphere of fear is not conductive to learning.

CoS

(Lockhart is trying to select students for the duelling club, Snape has opinions)

At this point in the story Neville DOES cause devastation wherever he goes, we know this from non-evil sources (Harry). This gets 3/10 on the bully scale because there's merit in what Snape says but 8/10 on the bad teacher scale because Nev is at an impressionable age and needs constructive criticism, not public humiliation.

Is Snape attempting to bully Neville when he says this? I'm going to go out on a limb and say no. We know that Snape speaks to most people in a direct and often insensitive manner and he does not seem to be actively targeting Neville in this scene. Snape, it seems, merely makes a throwaway comment and immediately goes back to his real objective: needling Harry.

(Harry observes Snape in class)

Harry considers Snape's actions to be bullying, and we know that Neville feels victimised by them but what are Snape's intentions? At this point in the story I feel like Snape is not seeking to intimidate or otherwise harm Neville, it's just that the intimidation is a byproduct of the way he teaches. 5/10 on the bully scale but 7/10 on the bad teacher scale.

PoA

and

and

(Neville has a terrible time in potions)

This is perhaps the most egregious case of mistreatment Neville faces in the books. We start with Neville already worked up and anxious and his state of mind (and potion) is only made worse by Snape's attitude. The final threat of toad annihilation and Snape's refusal to let Hermione assist Neville are what really escalates an otherwise ordinary situation (ordinary for a potion class containing Neville) into nightmare territory.

This gets a 9/10 on the bully scale because the toad threat is both unnecessary and cruel and a 8/10 on the bad teacher scale. Snape does try to impart information but the tone he uses is clearly inappropriate (as are the threats of animal cruelty). Snape does not seem to be able to teach effectively when it comes to his problem students, which results in his frustration and eventual descent into maliciousness.

(Just some friendly advice to the werewolf professor you hate, completely normal behaviour from Snape)

Here Snape is undeniably acting out of malice: there's zero pretence that this conversation is for Neville's scholastic benefit. It must be noted that this scene happens right on the tail end of the potion disaster described above so Snape is most likely still worked up from that. 8/10 on the bully scale because this is said in front of Neville, Neville's class and the New Teacher for maximum embarrassment and 10/10 on the bad teacher scale since there's no possible pedagogic reason for this exchange.

(Snape has found out about Neville's boggart)

We are not shown the resulting bullying directly so we have to take Harry at his word. We do not know what Snape actually does, only the impression it leaves on someone who already doesn't like him. I give this 6/10 on the bully scale because of vagueness but a solid 9/10 on the bad teacher scale, because Snape has just found out that his teaching style is terrifying enough for Neville to make him his literal greatest fear and yet he seems more preoccupied with the slight to his ego.

GoF

(Neville starts the school year strong but so does Snape)

I am of two minds on this: on the one hand there comes a point in a teacher's life when nothing you do seems to work so you resort to handing out detentions, on the other hand a more competent teacher would actually use said detentions to attempt to do some teaching. Snape chooses to use his time in a decidedly less productive way, that is to say by terrorising noted toad owner Neville Longbottom with toad dissection. this gets 6.5/10 on the bully scale, because toad parts are actually used as potion ingredients so it's a somewhat constructive detention but 8/10 on the bad teacher scale, because Snape does not use the the detention as a teaching opportunity and opts instead for some petty revenge.

OotP

(Snape describes what his advanced potions class will entail and also his expectations regarding his pupils' O.W.L.s)

This is positively benign coming from Snape, also Neville should be nowhere close to an advanced potions classroom. 1/10 on the bully scale and also 2/10 on the bad teacher scale.

(Neville just received some unintentionally super-effective psychic Damage from Draco. Harry and Ron try to hold him back and Snape takes notice)

Who is this New and Improved Severus Snape who behaves like an actual teacher (albeit a somewhat biased one)? 0/10 on the bully scale and a mere 1/10 on the bad teacher scale.

I want to take this moment to note that Neville's character makeover happens in tandem with Snape's. Just as Neville becomes less cartoonish as the books progress so does Snape's character acquire nuance and depth. Also, since the situation in the wizarding world is escalating rapidly, Snape is now quite busy with his second job (triple agent). The time for comical takedowns form the witty teacher is over, we need to get ready to sympathize with Snape's upcoming martyrdom.

(Snape is called to Umbridge's office, where the DA has been caught red-handed)

We have finally reached the very last interaction between Neville and Snape. We join them at a particularly sensitive time, as Snape cannot reveal he's a double-triple-super secret-gold star agent and therefore has to keep Umbridge appeased in order to quickly GTFO and investigate Harry's claims of Sirius's capture. In a way, this is Snape cosplaying as himself in the earlier books. This gets a mere 1/10 on the bully and the bad teacher scale because he's just trying to keep up appearances.

And finally: the long-awaited conclusion

So, what did we learn kids? First of all, that Snape is a terrible teacher shoved into a position he's ill-suited for, and it shows. He does not have the patience nor the tact required for his position and furthermore he cannot keep his emotions separate from his job.

Even if we take into account the fact that that potions is clearly a subject in which not following instructions properly can have dangerous consequences - which gives Snape some leeway to act more strictly than other teachers - we cannot help but come to the conclusion that he should not have been put anywhere close to children (which calls into question Dumbledore's judgement but I digress).

We also learn, though, that Snape's treatment of Neville is at its peak when Neville is still being used as comedic relief and the bullying is scaled back as both of their characters undergo metamorphosis in order to reach their Ultimate Form. By the end of the books, we need to see Neville as Brave and Snape as a multi-layered, morally grey character and as such the bullying comes to an end rather abruptly (and anti-climatically). It's difficult to treat Neville's mistreatment with the gravity it deserves when the book themselves care so little for him as a character. Neville 2.0 is treated as important, yes, but in order to do so the author glosses over many formative moments in his life.

That said, it is an undeniable fact that Snape's actions have an enormous impact on Neville's self-worth. This, together with his grandma's awful parenting and the dismissive way he's treated by his peers, contributes to perhaps one of the saddest self-assessments in the books, as seen at the very beginning of OotP:

This is not a moment of introspection from Neville, it's merely a throwaway comment used to get out of a conversation, yet it's telling that his first instinct is to put himself down.

Also kudos to Ginny for never being a Neville hater and being probably his first genuine friend. You go girl.

When it comes to Snape's side of the equation, though, I'm left with more questions than answers. Can he tell that what he's doing to Neville is perpetuating the cycle of abuse he's part of (see: Sirius and James but also his father)? No matter how much I think about it I can't seem to come to a solid conclusion.

Snape is capable of extreme levels of compartmentalisation; this is what allows him to be such an effective spy but at the same time it's what keeps him from looking inward (and perhaps recognising the root of some of his actions). That said, Snape is also very astute and observant: he of all people should be able to tell what his actions are doing to Neville. I feel like Snape is able to rationalise his behaviour towards Harry quite well but Neville is not someone he holds rancour towards, so how does he justify his mistreatment?

I imagine Snape is under immense stress for all of Harry's (and Neville's) time at Hogwarts and the situation only worsens as the years go on so I can see him releasing steam with some recreational bullying. Is this all there is to it when push comes to shove? Was Neville simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?

[lovinglyharsh]

satosugu ⚪️⚫️ adultxadult (college au, they are both 18+)

warning! ⚠️ if you are not comfortable with NSFW/Yaoi/Sm*t please kindly leave as this might be triggering!

warning 2! there is usage of s*x toys/s*x scenes. a warning if you dont enjoy these!

a/n: hey! miss me?

WC: 5.7k (wow)

"if you roll your eyes again i’ll make them roll a different way.”

it was a early morning, around 6-7 am, gojo called geto to the living room, geto was wearing baggy clothes (as always), “what? it’s almost time for class…” he said in a raspy voice, gojo chuckled, bringing out a box of sex toys. gojo replied, “not yet, we still have a while. i have a challenge for you.” geto wanted to protest but was brutally interrupted by gojo, “ah ah ah. no, you have a wish to return to me, so! pick out your vibrator.” he layed out 5-6 toys on the floor. geto knew that gojo made a face everytime he picked out something he liked/disliked, so he did, but little did he know that gojo was just teasing him, he chose the smallest one (with the biggest settings.) gojo smiled, “good choice.”

around 0730 geto was in class jotting down his notes as usual, he sat a seat infront of gojo for more concentration, gojo was bored and played with geto’s hair, “suguruu…” he purred leaning infront to whisper in his ear, geto rolled his eyes and slapped him away, gojo pouted then took out the controller, increasing by two (max: 12-14 min: 1-3) geto felt it vibrating inside slowly, he turned his head back, “what.” gojo smiled and shook his head, “nothing… i’m just bored…” geto rolled his eyes again, “just sleep and dont mess with it.” gojo smirked, “yeah yeah.”

1000, geto was taking a nap on the couch, with a unread book (how to season a curse) on his chest, gojo smirked increasing the settings, he chuckled seeing geto jolting up, he curled to his stomach, looking up to see if gojo was there, gojo immediately hid behind the wall, geto stood up, his legs were getting wobbly maybe cs he sat for a long time or maybe it was the vibrator? “fuck… satoru, when i catch you satoru…” geto stumbled to the ground huffing. (dw gojo decreased it)

at around the afternoon (1100-1600) it was just regular, nothing happened really, geto thought that gojo finally stopped, until 1800. they were taking the metro back to gojo’s penthouse, (they were at a house party and it was far) geto was on his phone txting with an anonymous guy, he was smiling and giggling which made gojo jealous, “who is that?” his leaned down to whisper in his ear, geto rolled his eyes turning off his phone, “no one…” he turned it on but turned the brightness low, gojo frowned and had a death glare, he took out the vibrator and increased to a high speed (8-10). geto gasped, hislegs were starting to feel weak, “fuck… satoruu… pl-please.. ah-!” he covered his mouth as gojo just held onto the handle, geto clinged onto gojo’s hand gasping for air, “satoru… pl-” he tried to finish his sentence but gojo just increased it even more (9-11) geto was struggling not to moan out loud. geto was trembling and shivering from pleasure. gojo shit grinned wrapping his arm around geto’s waist, “i’ll make your eyes roll differently if you roll them again.”

1815 they finally arrived home, the vibrator hitting his prostate with every vibration, he fell to the groun as soon as gojo opened the door, gojo chuckled darkly, picking geto and and bring him into the bedroom, “you’ll be fine suguru…” he purred into geto’s ear, kissing his neck, geto let out gentle moans, he arched his back as he felt the vibrator hit his prostate again, gojo could see and feel that he was close, geto would arch his back, cling onto him and let out sloppy and wet moans. gojo loved it, he fucking loved how geto felt inside and how his moans sounded like, he gently pulled down geto’s pants, his fingers immediately finding his way to his hole, geto gasped again, tearing up from the pleasure, gojo smirked as he fits his tongue inside with the vibrator, geto rolled his head back, neverminding if shoko heard how fucking loud he was (they live with shoko, RIP her ears.) he felt every thrust gojo’s toungue made, “satoru…” he moaned out gojo’s name as he continued to eat him out.

gojo was thrusting three fingers at once, geto was pleading for him to stop and to take them out, but gojo ignored him putting in a fourth, geto’s cum splurting out the 3rd time that night, (the vibrators out 🖤) gojo chuckled, “suguru… you’re so messy…” he said as he takes out his fingers, “huhuhu, my fingers are soaked…” geto’s head was spinning, “st-stop…” he said softly, gojo smiled unzipping his own pants, his cock was throbbing, he slapped it against geto’s hole, teasing him. gojo then thrusted his cock inside of geto, making geto moan in pleasure, the sound of his and geto’s skin slapping together made he only hornier, he ignored geto’s begs and pleads and continue to fuck him relentlessly

gojo finally stopped, pulling out his cock, admiring his seed spilling out of geto, gojo smirked, kisssing geto one last time, before doing basic care.

would gojo do this again? yes! obviously… but… let’s let geto rest for now.

the end of “toy’s”

a/n: hey! ty for reading this till the end, love you all so much, if you liked this then great! if not, feel free to leave recommendations and ways that i can improve!

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