#+ i have issues and i am just very unproductive in general
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#fearandhatred#ANYWAY! i desperately need to study and it was already hard today because my period makes me tired as fuck#+ i have issues and i am just very unproductive in general#but then i had to go to a last minute wake today#which not only took up time of course but also my dinner is usually at a fixed time so once i got home at like 4pm#i could not do anything else except Wait For Dinner To Happen#so that's fun! i'm gonna flunk my exams!#and also my birthday is 2 days before my exams and my dad INSISTS that we have dinner out to celebrate even though i said#i would prefer if it was after my exams were over#and i just cannot manage my time at all once i've been out of the house like it's so bad#yeah so. i'm cooked
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Hi! ex radfem cis lesbian back. I saw you asked why I reconsidered my viewpoints, so I will answer:
Firstly, I do want to keep the context in mind that this is simply my experience and very well may just be a me thing.
I gravitated to being a radfem at around middleschool, because I was sexually harrassed by a boy. It gave me the "all men are evil" complex. But I slowly realized I only used my hatred as an excuse not to face my trauma. There are great men in my life, my father and brother are some of my biggest supporters. My brother even tried to beat up the guy who harrassed me lol. The hatred I felt for every male I saw (excluding my family), the fear I felt, made me intensely paranoid and unhappy. I also found it was just wrong. Like anybody, men are not a monolith. Somebody born into a male body is not instantly evil. I've actually been harrassed more (sexually and in general) by females in my life, so I realized the generalization didn't hold up.
Of course, it is obvious that males are more likely to commit violent crimes, even if my personal experience was opposite. But I try these days to see the best in everyone, as not assuming somebody's moral value based on their sex has helped me live a more happy life. When I say I find GC spaces a bit extreme, there are a myriad of blogs who constantly say all men are evil, all men should die...I think that sort of talk is unproductive. Like it or not, males will always exist in humanity. So we should be finding a solution to the social issues and dismantaling patriarchy instead of invoking ire in innocent people (People are more likely to listen if you are nice to them...I have seen many men get mad at the "all men are trash" thing because that would include them, even if they haven't done any wrong. Whether or not it's fair we have have to watch our words doesn't matter -- this is just the proven best way to get others to take your points seriously).
As for the trans stuff, I just don't really care these days. Using different pronouns doesn't affect me as it is just words, so I don't care. Much like men, I view all trans people as individuals and don't develope an opinion on them as people based on identity alone. I find operating in the world this way is just easiest, and helps me not develop a bias. (Also as a GNC lesbian I have been mocked for being "a trans woman" by what would be considered "transphobes" I suppose, because I look like a guy, so I feel how some TERFs try way too hard to point out "obviously trans people" just hurt GNC people. But I know that's not the majority of TERFs.)
That is just trans people however. The trans "movement" (quotes bc it's not technically a movement but you get what I mean, the social atmosphere etc), which is not a person but a common ideal, has a lot of issues. My biggest issue being that it's hard to have actual conversations about it without walking on eggshells. My best friend is trans actually, and 100% accepts her sex. After all, you have to be the opposite sex to be "trans" at all. So even if I was harrasses by a trans woman, I would not think of all trans woman that way, much like how I do not demonize all females because I was harrassed by a handful.
That said - The social class of "men" (not the person or sex, but the way we have normalized socialization and the like) has many issues, and I am 100% for tackling these issues. I think we as a society must be open to talking about things even if we disagree with them or it makes us uncomfortable. Now more than ever we nees loud feminist voices. You may be just a tumblr blog, but one blog can go a long way. Even if I don't 100% agree with every post you make or radfem ideals or whatever, I am very thankful to have people who are not afraid to hold discussions and discourse. I do think the hatred for radfems is unwarranted to the degree it has reached. I wish we could all have civil discussions. So in short: keep posting and keep talking, thank you.
Heyyy! I am first of all really sorry that my answer comes so late, it's because I didn't really have the time and/or energy to read all of the asks I got, so I didn't open yours - I hope that this is not all too late of an answer :)
I guess that you are making various points here. First of all, I understand how the hatred of men can be unproductive in some ways. I agree that for many women, they don't gain anything out of fantasizing about the death of all men or reading stuff about how men suck and are evil. However, I also think that this is useful for some women. I have to say that even though I don't hate all men, this type of rhetoric awoken me out of my non-feminist slumber, and I think that this can be a helpful outlet for many women. I mean if there were any real-world harms proven from this rhetoric, I would obviously be against it, but as for now, I just think that this rhetoric can be useful for some and not so useful for others.
Like my blog. Is it productive to make fun of weirdos on the internet? Some people will probably say that this just makes them angry and depressed, but other people will find something cathartic in those posts and find their own experiences represented for the first time. And for those who find it not to be helpful to read that stuff, I would expect them not to read it
Secondly, I'm glad that the trans stuff doesn't affect you, but I have to say that it affects me (and many others). I'm politically active and have gotten so many creepy comments and abusive behaviour from entitled males who believe that they are women. Where I am politically active, analysis of male socialisation is totally absent and most politically active women are not really safe. I have also been told that I can be non-binary if I don't identify with the gender stereotypes, and I identified with that.
But I guess those weren't really your points, your point was just that those are the reasons for you not to be as active anymore. And that's fine! I obviously hope that you still believe in female empowerment and women's liberation, and you seem to. I'd almost go so far to say that some of your beliefs are still those of a radfem, but maybe you have other stuff to focus on, and that's totally cool ofc!
Also, thank you for saying that about my blog and say hello to your friend from me hahah
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I am genuinely gonna say this even though it's syscourse (and that I prefer to keep syscourse off my blog) cause 1) its related to my views and recovery which is what this blog is about and 2) I feel people might actually hear me out as an ex-anti-endo and DID* system, but being anti-endo (talking about "endogenics existing" not any larger criticisms on individuals or communities; thats a different topic) really perpetuates some unproductive mentalities around alters and multiplicity that really honestly is very healing to let go of and stop worrying about.
Like even just from a solely selfish point of view and not a "don't judge how people get by in life and what works for them" - holding so tightly onto this idea that being multiple parts, people, identities etc and operating life like that as this sacred, unique, and trauma-defined experience just really holds you in a place of saying that "I am significantly different due to trauma and I am inherently not the same as a 'normal person' because of the trauma" which I GET it, its true trauma does change you like that, it has changed brain circuitry and there are things those of us who have Been Through it at a young age will understand.
But like... I know it might be hard to see and understand depending on where in healing you are, but interacting with yourself as multiple parts and individuals - while not traditional and orthodox - is honestly.... not new or that special? Especially as the dissociative barriers lessen, the idea that there is a straight and clear divide between "multiple" and "singlet" really starts to be debunked.
In my opinion, it's hard to see the difference between a person who has multiple parts due to trauma BUT recovered to lower dissociative barriers, and someone who has multiple parts because they are a multifaceted person BUT interacts with themselves in an Internal Family Systems manner because that helps them, and someone who has multiple parts that they choose to interact with as separate as it gives them company, insight, and comfort.
And personally? I think thats really beautiful honestly. Even though our brain has been royally fucked by trauma from an insanely young age to the point that it segregated parts to survive, it's not inherently anything that is "proof" that we are broken or changed significantly from any other person or human.
Of course there is nuance, I do think that especially earlier stage recovery DID systems really should have the option for their own space and what not, because the "going through it" experience of DID is so so so so so extremely different than that of someone who is late stage recovery, at functional multiplicity, and/or a system that is endogenic and/or operates within themselves as multiple for non-trauma related reasons.
But honestly? We stopped being anti-endo largely cause the more we recovered, the less and less sense and significance it held.
Also, do not argue "science!!!!" at me. I'll ignore it cause again, I used to be a feverous anti-endo. I know the texts, I've read them, I love reading research papers.
((Usual disclaimer: while we are generally / vaguely pro-endo / endo-safe we very rarely interact with the community due to lack of interest and limited time in our life (we aren't online enough) so we have limited awareness on how things work there and unspoken social rules; we are not In The Endo community, we just think they deserve to have their space and designated shared spaces. If we said anything that is Bad Rhetoric or what not, I apologize as I am not the most versed in endo-community talk))
((*DID = Dissociative System in general, I don't care for discourse regarding DID and if that is inherently trauma or not and any interprettation - in this post - beyond 'a system with notable dissociative issues and a dissociative disorder' is up to the person reading))
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Hi, feels like it's been a longtime but alas I've only been here since the Era of Vash lol. Anyways I think you've made a great point about reader inserts and in general that's my concensus like it's impossible for a reader insert to be one hundred percent inclusive. Not to mention people should be allowed to read and interact with what they want howver they want. I think the only thing that does somehow bother me is the trend with people treating reader inserts as cringe. Like I've seen a lot of takes where people complain that using things like (F/n) or (Y/n) feels so cringe to them. Which again ok cool you do you, but we're all mentally ill here. Bashing on something isn't gonna help if you don't like don't interact is usually my go to. But don't try to force others to change something just cause it makes you uncomfortable. Like sadly I think Fandom culture has become sort of toxic and everyone policing everything makes me tired honestly.... but anyways, you're a good noddle. Stay safe, drink water. Keep slaying.~
HI FRIEND!!
i'm happy to hear that my extremely long-winded tirade resonated with someone!! it's always very nerve-wracking to express opinions online, even if they are something you wholly believe in, so having someone echo or express solidarity with it feels very comforting!!
i agree that x reader bashing is an issue, but ultimately i just try to remind myself that not everyone is going to like the things that you like—nor do the have to!! though, i think this speaks to a larger issue of people being unable to recognize that their personal, subjective opinions and preferences are not OBJECTIVE measures of correctness or value. something isn't bad just because YOU personally don't like it. and this isn't even just about x reader—this goes for fic tropes, ships, characters, even entire pieces of media. there's a huge trend online that rly glorifies being a "hater" as though it's cute and quirky or somehow funny, but i think at the end of the day it's senselessly unproductive and rly poisons the figurative well of online fandom spaces. but like hey—if u get your rocks off talking about all the things you hate, congrats! who am i to judge! when it comes down to it i'm just here for fun, and instead of being preoccupied with what other ppl are saying or doing or hating i would always rather spend time focusing on the things i like and earnestly working towards creating a space that doesn't make anyone feel bad for the things they like too.
#liv got mail#i think your (Y/N) comment in particular is a great example of this! i don't personally use Y/N in my fics bc that's my personal preference#that doesn't mean i'm right and other ppl are wrong. or that my way of doing it is good and the other is bad. it just Is What It Is#i once was in the process of actively writing and posting about a childhood friends to lovers series (that i was sooo excited abt)#and a mutual took it upon themselves to make a post about how childhood friends to lovers is a bad trope and that they hate it#which like ok word! live ur truth! find ur peace! but also like.... that kinda hurted?? did ya rly have to hit post on that one#also i mean this in the nicest way but like this (fandom! tumblr! life!) is all so UNSERIOUS#like it's FANFICTION!!! ABOUT MADE UP CHARACTERS!!! i'm a GROWN UP!!
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i havent said anything personally on the situation bc im not sure that its my place & not sure what my next move is .
first off shelby has been incredibly brave and as someone who doesn't watch her and hasnt ever, ive felt mostly that it was best for me to be supportive in a quiet way & that it wasnt my place to give my input . most of all i didnt want to reduce her solely to her abuse and "victimhood" as to me it feels extremely counterproductive to post only about that when she is obviously more than what she went through . it felt disingenuous to begin posting about it as if i was someone who's always cared about shubbles content when honestly im not . bc at the end of the day its not about me and its not about her abuser , its about shubble and ive never been a member of her community .
i dont want my silence to be interpreted as me not caring about the situation or not believing her because i do ; i don't want to speak where my voice isnt needed or could take away from others . from some of the responses ive been seeing though i feel its far more important to listen to and boost her voice than be quiet .
i dont want to talk about him because ultimately this is about platforming shelby and what shes gone through . that said i HAVE watched, posted about and supported her all-but-named abuser , so im involved at least on that level and i want to say i am horrified by the abuse shubble has described.
the general reaction to her coming forward i have seen on this site and others , from one end of the spectrum (she hasnt said his name so we cant know / its not that bad / blatant excuses and defense of him) to the other (leaktwt / posts about how hes always been a creep / jumping down the throats of anyone who words their thoughts in a way they deem wrong) has been horrifying to witness . some of the most unproductive commentary ive seen on an issue like this and i was here from cmc to drm .
im deeply upset and feel i should say somewhere that some of the shit ive seen is unacceptable and contradictory to shelbys initial point, which i understand to be 2 things: 1) highlighting how abuse is not always obvious, or 'normal', and ways to recognize these situations as a victim 2) to highlight her own personal experiences and to stop both her own abuser and others from being platformed .
mcytdom is NOTORIOUS for "drama" like this and similarly well-known for being unable to boost / listen to / BELIEVE victims or at least leave them the fuck alone . to anyone who's ever been groomed or abused, esp my mutuals who have received extremely insensitive messages and feedback in wake of this , my heart goes out to you and i hope you are doing alright & know how appreciated and strong you are . shelby, niki, and other victims of abuse should be listened to and celebrated for both their bravery and strength and for who they are as people .
on a more personal note heres ig what im going to do going forward
this is my blog & im not leaving it , wont be deleting any posts either , mutuals id love to stay in touch if youre moving out or moving on .
very likely ill still be here in the smp hell . just gonna have to see how i feel about it all . in the three and a half years ive been drawing reading and writing about these characters a lot has changed including my perspective . ultimately tho its not about me
general message i want to get across is that im glad shelby is healing and getting the help she needs, as well as doing well enough to help others recognize the signs . love you my mutuals and friends and followers . take care of yourselves
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Thess vs Division of Labour
On the one hand, I am looking very forward to my upcoming week off. By which I mean, it's the only thing making the thought of having to work tomorrow somewhat bearable.
On the other hand, I am not looking forward to spending a week stressing over what the typing queue will look like when I get back. It's bad enough as it is, with Temp having been off this week and The Other Part-Timer having been off sick. (Though, to be fair, The Other Part-Timer is now full-time but she's not on typing anymore, so I guess either way we're kind of screwed in that regard.) But when I go off...
Look. I'll give it to Goblin - she pretty much pulls her weight. And Temp ... well, as long as you don't expect her to do anything long or complicated (because not having a high number of things typed makes her feel 'unproductive', which I guess is all right for the rest of us somehow), she gets shit done. But New Girl? Oh gods, New Girl.
Today, for instance. It was a hellish day. We were struggling to--
No. Sorry.
I was struggling to get things back on track given Temp being off and no longer having The Other Part-Timer typing, given a bunch of folks who came in to dictate on the weekend. We are finally to the point where we were actually doing some of today's typing today, as in we cleared all of yesterday's typing before close of play. But the mess of that... Two complicated placenta cases dictated by someone who's new to placenta cut-up. Three extensive breast cases by a new individual who isn't entirely sure of herself but has picked up enough from The Breast Guy to skip around in the dictation as it suits her. A grand total of eight messes by The Word Salad Guy. A few from lesser Word Salad Individuals. And a dozen by one of the ones who skirts annoyance territory because she does complicated ones while speaking very quickly, and often makes minor word salad without the excuse of "English is not her first language". Also another one who makes her dictations twice as long by dictating the lab numbers on every pot when we don't need to type that, and the one who dictates by block instead of doing a block key like normal people-- and this makes very little sense to anyone who isn't me, sorry. Suffice it to say that it was a mess.
New Girl got one of the new individual's breast cases and one of Word Salad Guy's cases - and that under duress because she'd picked out everything else that might qualify as easy before that even got looked at and I had other shit to do, so all the rest of hers were easier ones, and shorter ones. I had both placenta cases, the longest of the breast cases, seven of the eight messes from Word Salad Guy, everything from the one who skirts annoyance territory, and most of the rest of the Annoyances in general.
She started at 10:00, took an hour lunch (where she dumped more complicated ones she hadn't got around to back into the queue so someone else would do them while she was away), and left at 16:00 or so. Total reports typed: 39.
I started at 11:00, had a few microbreaks so I didn't start spasming, finished at 17:30, and got far more of the complicated and longer ones than she did. Total reports typed: 93.
I'd ask if anyone else was seeing the issue here, but as @mxlabradorite said to me recently, that's been my professional life for over twenty years now.
Honestly, I'm kind of glad that we had to cancel Saturday D&D shenanigans this week. I am so tired, and I hurt so much, and I need to recover. I have no idea how the fuck I'm going to manage to get through tomorrow at this point. Worst of all, though, is that I'm going to end up stressing for at least part of my much-needed, well-deserved week off about how those yahoos I work with are just going to go at their usual slow-to-middling pace while I'm gone because "it's just a job". For fuck's sake, am I the only person in that damned virtual office that remembers that there's a patient waiting to find out if they have cancer attached to those names and lab numbers?!?
(Answer: yes. Either that or they don't care. Fuck that; knowing that I'm sometimes the difference between life and death for some of these patients is what keeps me going half the time. And given my work in various stages of oncology, no, I am not exaggerating, or at least not by much. The earlier you catch something like that, the earlier you get treatment and the better the odds of forcing it into remission. At worst, I'm giving someone desperately needed reassurance that they don't have something life-threatening. That's worth a lot.)
Oh, and Scruffman hasn't said a damn word about performance reviews. I figure that'll be sprung on me on short notice either tomorrow or once I get back. Or maybe Scruffman will have a well-timed attack of good sense and wait for the week after I get back, as I'll be busting my ass dealing with the backlog those dipshits leave me while I'm gone.
...Don't worry too much. I'll have some things to keep me occupied so work worries aren't eating my head all the time. Sunday D&D is still a thing and it's getting spicy for these guys. Silent Hill 2 drops in early access then too, so if I'm really feeling better, I can do a lovely spooky all-nighter and either way, I'll have James Sunderland's emotional issues made manifest in eldritch ways to distract me.
(Please, Bloober Team, don't have fucked this up...)
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Hey everyone, a few days have passed and I just wanted to be completely honest and take accountability for my actions and apologize.
On Friday, I started making a lot of posts on here about disliking the ship Huntlow. Which is usually fine, however these posts got less opinionative and general, and more personal and mean to others who ship it. I was getting into arguments with fans of this ship and I was being really unnecessarily rude, argumentative, and aggressive. Instead of ending the arguments or deleting my posts like I should have, I doubled down and argued more, which was really unproductive and unnecessary.
As a lot of you know, I am professionally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and I have been under a lot of stress and inconsistently taking my medications. This ultimately lead to a manic episode that peaked on Friday. Mania can make you really irritable, aggressive, argumentative, impulsive, and obsessive and delusional over a specific issue. At the time, I was convinced that I was completely correct and everyone needed to know how I felt about the ship and I absolutely HAD to continue every argument for as long as possible.
I ended up coming out of the manic episode over the weekend, and now that I'm taking my medications and I'm more stable, I feel incredibly awful about my behavior. Most people who know me, know that I'm usually very good at respecting all opinions, and I don't typically seek out arguments and I HATE being rude to people. Fandom is supposed to be a safe space for everyone. I really love The Owl House and being a part of the fandom, and I feel horrible knowing that I made people have a less than awesome experience. I'm really really really sorry for making my blog a toxic space, and I will genuinely do everything I can to prevent it from happening again. The next time I'm in this state, I will take every step needed to keep this a safe space, including going offline altogether for a few days if needed. I know that my mental illness is no excuse, I need to be held accountable for my actions regardless of what my mental state is like, but I want y'all to know that that is NOT how I usually am as a person. Once again, I am so sorry and I hope this can be a strictly safe, non toxic, and positive space again.
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Mother’s Day drag brunch focuses on love, positivity and inclusivity in Riverview, N.B.
Surrounded with love, loud music and glamourous makeup, drag performers put on a show for Mother’s Day with an important message
“You don’t have to fit into the male stereotype,” said drag queen Nova Gyna.
“You can play with Barbie and that’s OK. You can be the Barbie and that’s amazing! So there’s lots to play with and it’s just dress-up. We’re little princesses today and showing kids they can be whatever they want to be.”
Over 100 people were in attendance for the family-friendly event, which saw performers sing kid-friendly favourites. They also censored their stage names to be age appropriate for everyone.
“I want to try and break the stigma. We’re not dangerous, we’re not going to attack you or say anything bad,” she said.
The event was seen as a space for people to showcase inclusivity and positivity. For many, it was also a chance to be allies for the next generation.
Shelia Furlong was there with her two daughters, Stephanie and Zoe. She says being accepting is something that was a part of their upbringing.
“Just like with race and religion, it doesn’t matter your sexuality,” she said. “It doesn’t matter. It should be more about the person, who they are, their character, their integrity, not judging them or generalizing based on rumors, or out of fear or propoganda.”
“My mom raised us since we were very small to be accepting of everybody no matter what you look like and I think it’s very important to get out here and support people who are just coming into it and trying to learn things and make sure that there are spaces for these people,” Zoe added.
Stephanie, who is currently pregnant, is thinking ahead to the environment her child will grow up in.
“I think it’s very important to raise the next generation to be very inclusive, very thoughtful about what you think of others, what you say and how you treat people,” she said.
Open to all ages, Sabrina Matinez brought her 22-month-old son, hoping these experiences will help shape him as he grows up.
“It’s incredibly important for me to have him grow up and be super inclusive and accepting and understanding of people and their differences,” she said. “He himself is a little mixed, I myself am a little mixed, so being accepting is incredibly important to us.”
While Sunday’s event was a happy one, it comes amid backlash and hatred that many in the pride community are facing.
“For this event, we had a lot of hate online, but instead of having hate, just have questions. I’m more than happy to answer the questions,” said Gyna.
Recently, protests have been seen at pride and drag events and in New Brunswick the government is currently reviewing Policy 713, which lays out a minimum requirement for school districts to create a safe welcoming environment.
“It is very sad to see that they would review 713 as it was something that took a lot of effort to put in place,” said drag performer Anastasia.
She says the policy didn’t exist when she was in school and she remembers staying late to talk with the school board and fight for change.
“Honestly, it’s on the side of the government that I would like to see change,” she said. “I would like to see big names in the government stand next to drag and be like, ‘This is OK.’ That’s what I’d like to see.”
Both Anastasia and Gyna say they have seen improvements in New Brunswick, but a lot still needs to be done.
“I think it’s part of a trend over time that when rights are secured, there’s always a backlash,” said St. Thomas University Professor Jamie Gillies. “But what I find particularly problematic with the kind of hate that’s going on currently is that it’s being mainstreamed and largely by right-winged political parties staying silent.”
He adds that what’s being seen today with groups protesting drag and pride events is disgraceful and unproductive.
“My issue in New Brunswick is that it’s up to politicans and government leaders and community leaders to stand up to hate and I don’t see the premier or people like Kris Austin and Pierre Poilievre doing that. I think they see this group protesting events like this as potential voters,” he said.
Adding, “It’s up to all of us to fight for these rights again. I think it’s just a reminder that you always have to stay vigilant and you always have to fight for these groups.”
As for Sunday’s performers, they say they’re focusing on spreading positivity.
“At the end of the day, we’re just here to show our art, show who we are, and at the end of the day, the kids love us,” said Anastasia.
“We’re little princesses.”
from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/0uvlLyW
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diary396
10/22-23/24
wednesday - thursday
ummmm. not much today to say.
we saw our friend, he came over and we talked for a while, he was outside for about 10 minutes while i was still getting ready, feel bad about that. he didn't seem to mind, it's nice out side at least, lately.
uhmmm, what else.
we talked about a lot of stuff, he's moved out, and is working a lot, and he's generally rather happy i think, or being around friends makes him happy. so he was happy to be here. having him here makes me happy, and my gf too, we both really like him and she can relax around him. others, it's harder to relax around, it makes sense to me, since he's more relaxed than basically everyone else but not in a way that's like, vegetal, like, stoned or whatever. not to hate but sometimes people who just turn into a vegetable on the couch make me sad and stuff. not pity it's just like, i wish i could talk to you more type stuff.
he talked about some frustrations he's had with other friends of ours recently. which is sad, it's sad that there are frustrations, it's also sad that like, he's not just tripping or something. it's just simple quotidian stuff nobody is evil or bad it's just frustrating when some people are like, i'll do this, let's do this, i'll do x, and then don't and then when someone is like, well just be honest with me, to be like, fuck you, about that, it's normal i think, it seems very normal for things like this to happen, but it does bother me that it does, and him, and it's also been an issue w/ one of our other friends too, since we've known him he's always been soooo flaky and stuff. i dunno. the only answer, thinking of it now, for me at least, has been to become more patient.
i didn't do much else today, i was gonna write but it's 1 am now and i need to sleep now/soon cuz we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. probably go to walmart, her mom seems to be in good enough shape to drive. i hope that goes well. i am thankful for that, since getting some more stuff w/o having to walk very far will really help us out.
just kept thinking about man hating today as well. unproductive but what can i do. i thought about how people can get hung up on stuff online that seems meaningless when compared to the issue which is how men see people who aren't men, the phallocentrism of things, the way you're nothing or like, in some cases, you will be dragged into that way of seeing and thinking no matter what. a kind of forced conversion into being someone who thinks less of others. i shouldn't be like that about men, or all of them, though in some cases, by some men, that is what being raised by them can feel like. i will make you someone who thinks it's okay to beat kids, like i beat you, you will be afraid of women and wish to possess them, and so on. subtle arts taught by fathers who don't know how to be kinder people.
or idk. that's just a lot of bad parents. women teach that too honestly, maybe less so the gendered stuff but they hit their kids as well, i've experienced it though significantly less so from my mother. i know my gf has had it that way though.
i don't know, idk what's going through my head right now, it's just a strange sadness. it's sad to think of people as being similar, especially realizing one is really only similar in some ways that describe a general unpleasant thing i've noticed among the men i've encountered, the very frustrating ones, who make me feel like this, my stepfather is kind of a centerpiece in that, but even then... i soften on him, feel bad for him, there is one guy who traumatized my friend, and my friend he's just like, so fucked up because of how unpleasant this guy was, self obsessed and weird, a lot of these people, they all kind of have stuff like that guy, but that guy is so different too, or, not different... it's maybe that for my friend, and in my experience of him, there's less to feel sorry for. some of it for me is this sense and wish that i could make them not awful, or, no sense, just wishing, really, not so much the i can fix him of people who are pathetic and sad, like daan from fear and hunger, for instance, just like, there is some way to help someone out of this kind of fear they seem to have, and out of the walls they have, right? with this other guy, it's like all wall, and what's behind it, i dunno, it's probably just that if i could see him, i'd have the pity, and the wish to try and be his friend to make the thing that sucks go away, or less, by being his friend. but that's insane of me, it's probably some kind of egotistical thing in me, that makes me think that by being around me, someone could be less like that. what's special about me? i'm just stupid, and sometimes people think i'm funny and i like being around people. it's just dumb.
anyhow, my friend was here, and i played fear and hunger 1 for him a bit, and got le'garde and got to ma'habre, with he and d'arce + moonless. now i need to lose moonless and get the girl... then... i d k,,, hum.... i just wanna get ending a.
lately i've been listening to less music. i should get back on my usual stuff. just lots of stuff that's soothing to me i guess right now since i'm depressed. i also want to do a drawing of daan, i'll try to lay it out tomorrow.
here's a song i hadn't heard until recently, somehow:
youtube
i love siouxsie, and i love basement jaxx, not hearing this feels like a crime, it's so perfect, love love love the bass synth in this one.
also, thinking of drawings, i want to do more marina at some point. while i have this fixation, it feels good to try and use it to get better at drawing, so i wanna try and do something with her in colors, and maybe a place? who knows about that second one though. scenes seem very difficult for me. also i need to read soon, i'm such a dummy for not.
okay, it's about 2 am, so i ought to sleep,
so,
byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My story's Tumblr @staticseasons
I'm moving up in the world.\(^^)/
My side blog when I shitpost @cheapcreeps
Vtuber blog @x-via-victoria-x
Guidelines when interacting with me
No nsfw dms or sexual messages in general, that crap makes me extremely uncomfortable. Please do not use my model in tier lists with smash or pass, or judging via's boobs size. It's really really weird and degenerate behavior. Please don't sexualize me in any way, I prefer if you don't. Thank you very much. This will be a automatic block from me, if I catch you doing this. I'm deliberately setting a boundary, please respect that.
Don't flirt in dms, I'm not interested and I'm not looking to date anyone currently. I just want to vibe and chill for the time being. I'm taking time to heal and advocating my needs more often. I have a history of bad relationships, I would like to not add to that. ( I'm joking here. )
Please, don't talk about politics. Politics rots the mind and soul. I am apolitical because I hate both parties equally. And no, I'm not right-leaning, you're blatantly misinterpreting my words and interpreting them in the least charitable way possible. I know what you're doing, stop being slimy and manipulative. Here's some wisdom for ya, Not everything on the internet is a fight that you have to win.
If I was in support of the right I would get my butt deported. ( That is just some dark humor for the grim reality of things. It's not looking good no matter what outcome happens. ) Shock of all shocks not everyone is white on the internet. Just don't assume what I am, that's all I'm asking. I'm just not saying what race I am for protection and safety reasons. Please respect my wishes. I just don't want to be othered or I feel like I have a target on my back.
( I am very annoyed because I had to change this section recently because a content creator misread chappell roan words and thought she implied that she was right-leaning when she said her disliked of both parties. How this content creator came to that conclusion with her words? I have no idea. It was putting words in her mouth misinterpreting her. The whole video felt mean spirited and like beating down a woman for her opinions. I guess nuance be damned. Heaven forbid someone has a different opinion than you.
However Her and I have similar sentiments on politics, so I'm editing my words now to not be misrepresented. )
You don't have to agree with my opinion. I respect that you have a different opinion to me and I want nuance. I don't want to creative hive mind or Echo chambers. I encourage you think for yourself and form your own opinions.
Please don't dm me about political issues, it's only going to make me ignore you. I will ban you if you mention politics, My streams are not the place for politics.
When I say I'm apolitical, I mean it. Politics are a massive headache that's mostly because it turns into a screaming match of who can be the loudest. It is mostly unproductive because it's mostly arguments that lead to nowhere and I'd rather not deal with that brain rot. I rather not participate if I have to. To me it is arguing for sake of arguing, And that is just deeply dysfunctional in my opinion.
Please don't ask about my personal life.
Please don't label me as a different sexuality than my own. It's disrespectful and rude, you don't know me like I do.
Failure in respecting my boundaries will get you blocked, banned and muted. You get one warning and that's it. I am being very clear and upfront with how I want to be treated. Anyone healthy person will have no problem following these requests.
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[REPOST, 2022] - "Roe, Roe, Roe-ing my boat, gently into this stream"
(This was originally posted to my WordPress blog "Thoughts of the Free" in May 2022.)
Oh, joy. Here we go again.
Yep, it’s the internet’s laziest political commentator here, back after several months of silence to talk about one of his least favorite topics: abortion! Yay! In case you haven’t heard, this just happened, meaning abortion is now no longer protected here in the States under federal law. Not a huge surprise, but still a very facepalm-inducing moment for this country nonetheless. So, rather than sit around and debate every single person who’d like to argue with me on this subject, I figured I’d get in front of this whole thing, and preemptively put my logical scalpel to work here and now.
Before we proceed, let me make one thing absolutely clear right off the bat: if your go-to arguments against abortion are along the lines of “it’s murder!”, “it’s irresponsible adulting!”, “it’s against God!”, or more, do not even bother trying to respond to this post. Not only is this branch of reasoning weak (for reasons that I’ll dig into as we go forward), but the fact is that moral arguments in general do not stand up to scrutiny at all on this topic. I am also not about to grind to a halt here to argue about some unproductive conceptual nonsense like “when does life begin? 12 weeks?!” or “but what about edge cases like rape?!”, because these are where the point goes to die a slow and painful death. Got it? Okay, good. Let’s move.
Let’s really get started in a place you probably won’t expect: the Bible. If you’re one of the folks who follows it, I implore you to open yours to Numbers 5:11, read onward from there, and take note of what that section describes. What you’ll find there is a very detailed commandment, from God himself to his priests, for abortions to be induced on wives who cheat on their husbands. This also isn’t even to speak of numerous other moments, such as Exodus 12:19, where God himself goes a step above abortions and personally kills unspecified masses of born children, demonstrating multiple times over that the lives of both the unborn and children aren’t quite as sacred as claimed in this religion. To attempt to handwave this fact away in support of the Christian anti-abortion case by claiming “it’s okay when God does it” is to engage in a hilariously meta kind of moral relativism that conservatives would not accept in any other context, so please, don’t try this response either.
As an aside: the problem with going to church and listening to sermons about the Bible is that you rarely ever learn anything truly new from them. You just skip around at random and hear a lecture about some part that gets worked into a generic message about the positives of being faithful. If you’re a Christian, professing faith in the Bible, and you haven’t heard of these parts before, you should ask yourself why that is.
But you didn’t come here to listen to this, right? Nah, what does the atheist brony know about the faith?! We want some real meaty bits to take in on this subject, dammit! Argument bits so meaty that they make you feel like you’re choking to death on a 72oz. steak of RAW TRUTH, with a side of BUTTERED FACTS AND LOGIC! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA– [coughs uncontrollably]
Uh… Sorry. Moving on.
See, the religious part is only one part of this. When it comes to moral arguments, I hold the true centrist position when it comes to abortion: I do not care. I’m of the belief that I would never personally have an abortion (and would prefer my partners also not), but that if other people do want to have them, that’s their right, and not something for me to concerned with. Since this is a “moral gray zone” issue, and I have no desire to play to moral arguments on the subject of abortion anyway, ethics is what really needs to be talked about here.
An anti-abortion moral argument would state that a fetus is a person, and has the right to be kept alive through to birth as such. Now, this alone doesn’t hold up when you think about it for a minute. Picture, for a moment, a situation where someone is standing over a cliff, holding a 3-months-developed live fetus in one hand (we’re assuming it’s still, you know, alive in this hypothetical), and a 3-year-old named Billy in the other. This hypothetical person tells you to pick which one of the two they drop. I’m reasonably certain that everyone, in this scenario, would choose to save Billy. If a fetus were really a person, that would be closer to a 50/50 split.
BUT… Let’s go even further. For the sake of the argument, let’s say that, yes, fetuses are people, and they have full personhood. In that case, the best way to test the anti-abortion position is to think of a similar situation involving a grown person. How ’bout it?
The scene: I, an absolute moron, have just hopped in my car and gone driving up Highway 61 at half past midnight, after downing way too many liters of whiskey. I get my deeply drunk self to the Huey Long Bridge, drive up the wrong entry ramp, and promptly slam head-on into a fellow driver, surviving with only moderate injuries. A several-hours-long coma and a quick airlift to a Baton Rouge hospital later, I wake up to find that the person I played a game of automotive jousting with is barely clinging to life. They’re only able to do so because, while I was unconscious, the doctors discovered that we share a blood type, and decided to start transfusing my blood into them without my consent. If I tell them to stop pumping my blood into the victim of this crash, they’re guaranteed to die.
In this hypothetical scenario, I’m the one who’s entirely at fault for this ordeal. There’s no question as to how we got here. The question is: should the state (or even just the hospital) have the power to force me to keep this person alive against my will, using my bodily resources? I would say the answer is no, but I invite you to ask this question for yourself. When you do so, remember that this is a hypothetical where we assume the other party is a fully-grown adult; trying to apply this logic of personhood to afetus will take this argument into some very, very absurd philosophical territory.
With the religious, moral, and ethical arguments against abortion not standing up to scrutiny… well, what are we really left with?
We already know what the myriad negative effects are of denying abortions to pregnant women. It’s not irresponsible adult behavior to not have a child when you likely can’t afford to raise one, for reasons that should be fairly self-evident. Nor is it reasonable to demand that every prospective abortion-seeking mom instead bear the kid and put them up for adoption, not the least of the reasons being that dumping a millionnew children would cause our already-overburdened foster care system to collapse, especially without a sudden surge in adoptive parent candidates to accompany it. (EDIT FROM FUTURE HAWK: Now that I think about it... don'tcha think that it would help on that front to stop arbitrarily outlawing queer couples' ability to adopt? We already know that the kid would be as fine in that company as they would be with a straight couple.)
In short… there’s no big socioeconomic benefits to banning abortions either. So, really: what reason is there?
Like I said earlier, I want all of you, anti-abortion people who may be reading, to take some time out and ask yourselves: why do I believe this? Was this knee-jerk hatred for pregnancy termination a position you arrived at through some process of critical thinking, with all of the above factors in mind, or something you’ve been told to believe by the people you listen to? Be it the biblical literalist pastors who can only claim the Bible opposes abortion by engaging in some very tenuous interpretation, a political apparatus that found an easy issue to get you sloganeering about as a distraction, or anything else: what was it? Most of all: can you arrive at your current position after asking yourself all of the questions posed here?
Well, I hope you at least have an interesting answer. Maybe that’ll keep me from wanting to measure my ruler every time this subject comes up. See y’all later.
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@avimaka hi, to preface im so so so sorry for how long this is. i love to talk so much, and i implore u to ignore this if ur like "what the hell calm down" HFHSDFHSDFHSD
nods. and thats, like, normal! for literally any fandom! theres always gonna be character interpretations that just dont Jive, but in a lot of cases im personally generally somewhat capable of putting that aside and still finding value and enjoyment in works with characterizations that dont necessarily fit My Vision. theres always some new angle to look at things, which is a nice experience, and even if i decide that the fic im reading has nothing to offer me beyond distaste, at Least its managed to help me better Understand Myself and my thoughts and feelings on the character in question
except, somehow, that isn't how it works with six!!! i get So Upset in a way that is distinctly silly and unproductive whenever an interpretation feels inaccurate, ESPECIALLY when i feel like the author is… glossing her over? i guess? she's a weird, awkward kid who does Weird Things like snap mannequin/prosthetic fingers out of place for apparently no visible reason and warm herself in front of a furnace fire someones being roasted in. (and like. i personally feel like she acts weird that whole chapter in a way that to me implies discomfort/stress, either due to general fear or what could be a particular trauma-based response. all of this takes place literally immediately after getting kidnapped by the bullies and rescued by mono!!! but its still Weird, shes still a little weirdo, and it bothers me so much when people reduce her weirdness to, like… "gremlin energy" or whatever. idk.*)
she clearly has a rich internal life, and we literally only see what she gives us. and a lot of what ive made brief contact with tends to feel weirdly reductive of that. add on to the desire to, like… idk, make her more Appealing? i guess? her actions are reduced as well into something easier to sympathize with. which is not in itself A Bad Thing or even Actually Reductive, because most people are sympathetic because most people are just doing their best. i am a firm loud Six Defender for Life and i think all her decisions have reason (MAYBE not Active Reasoning on her part, but at Least reactive-type reason) behind them, reasons i understand and will shout from the rooftops in order to add to my defense of her; and taken in that light, with those reasons, its a very simple matter to find her sympathetic. but what i've seen seems to either paint her in a distinct… uhm.
okay, so the issue is a little more complex than i can (or should) try to get into this post/reply-that-im-using-as-an-excuse-to-ramble. really what's happening—what all this nonsense im spouting sums up to—is that i have my own extremely particular concept of who she is (a traumatized nine year old with symptoms that arent pretty and look weird, all in my own particular flavor of understanding), and im not actually making room for other interpretations. i am so set into my personal nuance of her, nuance that literally no one can Perfectly Replicate because its nuance born of my own interpretation (an interpretation which is not The Only Right One, no matter what my brain insists), and then im getting Upset when the things i read dont hit all the beats i expect.
so ACTUALLY what im saying is that i keep throwing hissy fits (internal) over Perceived Slights against her character. my annoyance is unfair and in some cases obviously misplaced: most interpretations have value, even if i cant see it. people who write her as a gremlin-y kid have merit, and people who treat her like she's older (as in, knowing she's nine but writing her with the internal life of an older child) and should—but refuses to—have a stronger moral compass are Obviously acknowledging the themes of the story itself and channeling that thru her, even if it feels ultimately unkind to her. all these angles—and even the angles that outright change her decision to drop mono (which i really cannot jive with At All)—have merit and value but i'm over here holding a big sign that reads BUT IS IT WHAT I WANT???? as if thats the Only thing that matters. its NOT, but im acting as if it is
so ACTUALLY what im REALLY saying is i cant read little nightmares fanfiction because im being a huge nerd doofus about six. thank u for listening and im so sorry to subject u to this rant
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*not to say she DOESNT have gremlin energy, its just that when people define her personality around that single aspect of herself it just feels frustrating and demeaning of her character and the story as a whole
worst thing on the planet is i cant actually read little nightmares fic because in my mostly isolated fixation space ive reached my own sort of conclusions and headcanons that im so invested in and firm about that anything i try to read has me going "but do you understand the layers of nuance to six" like cups my cheeks. "its fanfiction not an essay and the authors opinions are secondary to the actual contents and messages of their works" i tell myself, but my brain screams BUT ARE THEY NORMAL ABOUT SIX because i see so many people rewriting her actions or behaviors into something more palatable despite her character being the most goddamn compelling thing ive seen in MONTHS. so i try to read a fic and someone says something a LITTLE sideways of my thoughts on her and i just leave. like hi robin. how bout YOU be normal abt six
#robin rambles#robin replies#long post#again i seriously didnt mean to go on this rant but i just felt the Urge hdsafhsdahfds. im so so sorry#but like. i wanna read ln fic sooo bad#its jsut that when i do find things i Might like i tend to hit a roadblock with their characterization of her#and rather than going 'maybe the author has good reasons for this decision and ill learn them as i go on' i just get upset#its all very silly and a bit immature i think#of me i mean#not of anyone else#im kind of... i have one friend im talking to about little nightmares and theyre pretty much ofthe same mind as me#but this does isolate me from the wider fandom perspectives#and it means that im kind of in an echo chamber? of my own ideas#and normally im ok with that when this happens because i can sustain myself very well w my own thoughts and ficlets and headcanons#but something about little nightmares has me actin foolish i just wanna read good fic man. shes my daughter.#I THINK ANOTHER ISSUE IM HAVING IS THAT I JUST WANT SIX FIC#I LOVE MONO AND I APPRECIATE RK BUT I JUST.... MONO DOESNT HAVE THE SAME LEVEL AS COMPLEXITY#AND HE ISNT OSTRACIZED BY HALF THE FANDOM AND MOST CASUAL PLAYERS#SO HES NOT AS INTERESTING TO ME#six on the other hand is wonderfully complex and interesting and her motivations are always a little in question and it drives me insane#and i get ....im just sad because i want more people to focus in on that lmao#[AND I BET PEOPLE ARE. I JUST DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO LOOK FOR IT. AND THEN I GO AND COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET ABT IT. robin sillymode]#i just want extremely six centric fic. shes very valuable to me and i want to read about /six/ and everyone else is kind of secondary#so i guess its less that im hyperfixated on the game and more im hyperfixated on her?#huh.#might explain some things abt why im so weird abt this. smth for me to think abt i guess
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I think I need to get off Tumblr some.
Not disappear or an hiatus, exactly, but I think I'm slightly unnaturally obsessed. I never though I'd say that about social media.
I feel the need to check Tumblr all the time, even at work or on movie nights with the family, or at 2am when I get up to go to the bathroom.
I'm afraid I'll miss something that I would really like and open all these tabs on my phone to go back to things if I don't have time to get to them all.
Also, I'm a bit ashamed to say I've been looking at my notes a little too much. I get excited when there's a lot of activity and something I post is going over well.
And I do this thing (with real life, too) where I get overwhelmed thinking about the things I should be doing, so then I literally do none of it and am unproductive the whole day.
I want to read, I want to interact, I want to write, I want to organize my dash. There's tag games and inbox notes and I want everyone to know I see them and want them and want to get to them. I feel bad for taking a while to get to them.
But I can't decide which of all of those things to do first so I have a chat with myself as to how best to go about it and don't ever come to an answer and by the time I know it, it's dinner time and the day is gone.
Since I do not know how to fix that still, I think it would be best for me to just get off here once in a while. As I write this I feel I'm not going to do it properly like I should. Tomorrow my dash could very well be filled with stuff. I wouldn't be surprised with myself.
I guess what I'm saying is if you don't hear from me for a day or two, it's all good! I'm not ignoring anyone, I want nothing more then to be here with you all, I'm just trying to keep myself sane.
If you made it this far, you're a trooper LOL <3
I will be around! Bear with me! And good luck to anyone finishing up classes, or just dealing with life issues in general!
Ps anyone else feel they have this issue?
#eliza rambles#eliza thoughts#i love you all#i'm not going anywhere#if you have any suggestions#send them my way#social media obsessed#that's not me
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Anon wrote: Hey. I'm INFJ. I want to ask about relationship problems. The relationship in question is between my ESTJ mother and I. Generally, I would describe our relationship as close and loving, but there is a conflict, and that came from our opposite ideology and political beliefs.
I want to say before continuing that we are neither American or European, so our ideology and politics shouldn't be understood from the "western" side of things, though to simplify by comparison, my views could be described as leftist and my mother's as conservative. I should also add that I used to hold her worldview when I was younger, but changed once I was old enough to form an opinion of my own. This caused my mother to imply many times in our discussions that I am "brainwashed" and dismiss me as "too young" and "too ideological". I should add that the latter (ideological) is a valid criticism. Still working on that.
Otherwise, I often tried to persuade, then later find middle ground with her, to no avail. We ended up arguing many times, until we decided to not talk politics with each other anymore. So, what's the problem, you might ask.
Recently, the political climate in my country got intense. Heated, even. I won't go into details, but there are protests again the government by young liberals/leftists-equivalent of my country. Many of my good acquaintances joined the protest. The government used police force against them, and it got violent. There are young unarmed protestors who were teargassed, beaten, and shot with rubber bullets and high velocity water jets. Some protestors were heavily injured. Some protestors were arrested and incarcerated in horrible conditions. My mother and I agreed to not speak about politics, so I said nothing.
Until my mother, right infront of me, with another family member, openly mocked the protestors, made judgments about them based on the goverment's propaganda, called them a nuisance, and implied that they "deserved it". It's not about her discussing it, but it's about how unempathetic she was when she said those things, towards those young people my age, with similar ideology to me, and how apathetic she was when she said that "nothing's going to change anyway". It was the first time that I saw my mother in that angle, the complete lack of humanity in her words. It still haunts me until now.
So my question to you is, how does one deal with that? I love my mother, I think I always will. I also know that she loves me, or at least the part of me that's still her child. But for a moment, I loved her less, and that frightened me. I began to wonder, what would happen one day if we have to actually take sides, because things are getting worse in my country, not better. This adds to other issues I have in my life and made me more depressed. A part of me tells me that I should tell her about how I feel, but how do you tell someone you love that they're one of the reasons for your sadness?
I'm sorry if this is stupid. I'm sure that this feeling I have is one-sided, and I wonder if I'm being selfish or ungrateful. Maybe it's because I'm too sensitive these days, so I thought if I have an outside neutral opinion, it will help illuminate my clouded mind. Thank you. I hope you had a good summer break!
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The sentence that sticks out at me the most is: "It was the first time that I saw my mother in that angle, the complete lack of humanity in her words." I would argue that the problem doesn't lie with her. In fact, nothing about your mother had changed. She was still the same woman as before she uttered those words. The issue arises from your perception of her and the standards by which you evaluate her.
I follow world affairs very closely, so I think I know which region you are speaking of. One of the biggest problems in the manner that people think and talk about politics is the tendency to stereotype. Stereotyping is basically a form of cognitive oversimplification. It makes your thinking ability fast but also very dull and blunt, unable to understand situations with the nuance and sophistication that is required for good judgment and decision making.
It doesn't matter which country/culture you are from, there is always some variation of "right versus left". Why? Because in every society, there will always exist an underlying tension between those who don't want change and those who do. You may label these two opposing forces as right vs left, conservative vs liberal, regressive vs progressive, etc, but the fact of the matter is that these labels are gross oversimplifications of people's political belief systems.
When you divide people along an oversimplified dichotomy, it's too easy to stereotype them, in terms of believing that all people on each "side" hold all the same beliefs and values. Stereotyping goes along with the natural tendency of humans to be tribal. You start to view those on your side as being intellectually and morally superior to those on the other side. This leads to dehumanization and even demonization of the other side. In essence, you lose the ability to empathize with people, as long as you believe that they aren't on your side or the "right" side.
It seems that your political thinking has become too stark due to how extreme the situation has become. You have the feeling of fighting for your life because of the way that the situation has been handled by authorities, as they are indeed putting people's lives in danger. Your feelings about the situation are completely valid. But you fail to recognize that your mom's feelings about the situation are also valid. Certainly, there are hard-core fundamentalists and extremists out there that you can never reach because their beliefs and values are not based in any form of reason. However, I don't think your mom fits into that category, does she?
Do you know what it means to have no humanity? You are accusing her of something like psychopathy. Is that really true of her? I don't think so. She said: "nothing's going to change anyway". I don't consider this an expression of "apathy", as you assume. This is an expression of hopelessness. In that sentence, there is a real possibility that your mom is sympathetic at heart, but she disagrees that the chaotic actions of the protestors (i.e. the method) will lead to any meaningful change... and she may be absolutely right about that.
You haven't grasped the nuances of your mom's beliefs and values because your mindset has been so hardened by the extreme nature of the political conflict. This means that, when you engage in political discussion with her, you are unable to: 1) acknowledge how she feels, 2) acknowledge that there is some reason/merit/validity behind her beliefs, and 3) be open-minded enough to meet her halfway.
Put another way: If you met someone who wouldn't acknowledge your feelings as valid, dismissed all of your beliefs and values as completely wrong without proper investigation, and only sought to "convert" you, would you want to communicate with them? Probably not. This is the unproductive attitude that you now both bring to the table. This is the divisive attitude that arises when a conflict becomes too polarized and everyone is forced to "choose a side".
Unless one of you learns to listen and communicate more effectively, what will change? You say that you have tried to find middle ground with her but always end up arguing. Not finding middle ground is one thing, but getting caught up in interpersonal drama is a whole other thing. The option to amicably agree to disagree is always available. If you genuinely respect someone and respect their freedom to form their own beliefs, it shouldn't be hard to agree to disagree. Why do you find it so difficult to let her be her? Ultimately, you're not really interested in "middle ground"? You just want her agreement? Getting caught up in arguments all the time, especially on a recurring basis, indicates poor communication skills that stem from a troubling lack of objectivity. The more you argue with the intent to shame/change the other person, the more you push them away from your side, and the more myopic you get in your own beliefs.
You seem to have fallen into the trap of categorizing her into the tribe that you view as the enemy of your tribe, namely, the authorities that are cracking down on you young protestors. You've started to view her as the enemy, now you can't empathize with her, and even accuse her of having no humanity. You now consider yourself morally superior to her. If there is any possibility that she could be your ally, you've slammed the door on it.
You describe a very dire and desperate political situation that affects everyone, BUT, it doesn't affect everyone the same way. Different people have very different ways of dealing with intense emotions like fear, insecurity, grief, despair, helplessness, etc. Due to inferior Fi, ESTJs have extremely low tolerance for intense and uncontrollable emotions. Remember that one's ability to utilize the inferior function is not much better than a young child. If ESTJs can't neutralize or deflect their sense of powerlessness quickly, the burden of the emotions will quickly destroy them. I don't think you've really understood the thought process behind your mom's words and what is really motivating her "apathy".
Just because someone doesn't agree with your methods, doesn't mean that they don't have anything in common with you. Politics isn't just about good vs evil, as in, if you don't stand up for good, then you are evil. Everyone has their own way of looking at the situation because everyone has their own interests to take care of first and foremost, and everyone has their own ideas about the best methods to pursue. This is true for both you and your mom. It is possible to agree on beliefs but disagree on methods. For example, I'm assuming that you care about this cause so deeply because you care about your future. Sure, your ideas about the future differ from hers. But, certainly, you are both interested in securing your future, aren't you?
History has shown us that young people are always more willing to fight for causes because: 1) they would suffer less immediate material loss than the elder generation, 2) they have fewer life responsibilities, obligations, and commitments to take into consideration, and 3) their lack of life experience sometimes makes their thinking too simplistic when visualizing future implications.
Your interests aren't fully aligned with your mom's in this situation, perhaps because you are from different generations. However, this doesn't mean that your interests don't align in other important ways. At the end of the day, your mom is probably deathly afraid of seeing YOU on the news being beaten to a pulp and disappeared by the police, right? And it may be the case that she's passing harsh judgment on the protestors because she's trying to discourage you from meeting their horrible fate? That's hardly lack of humanity.
To be a good critical thinker, you need to learn to be more objective. Objectivity means understanding all aspects of the situation, or as many as you can manage. Objectivity and empathy often go hand-in-hand. You won't be able to empathize well unless you acknowledge that there might be some aspects of the situation that you're not seeing or understanding. When you take more time to get to the bottom of someone's thought process and why they really feel the way they do, you will discover all sorts of openings to influence their political beliefs in a friendly way. But when you can't even acknowledge that the other side might have an important point to be made, because you are so hardened in your stance, you've created a dead end for yourself.
#politics#empathy#emotional intelligence#debate#disagreement#conflict#infj#infj relationships#communication#ask
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What are your feelings on the general tonal direction that the dub was given compared to the original?
I had this general feeling that the dub was always attempting way too hard to be funny. Like, jokes seemed to be shoved in at every opportunity. Establishing shot with nothing but the BG playing. Nope got to have a funny intercom moment about a jelly donut in the pool. Scene transition, nope got to have the kids running in the background call back to the donut.
I dunno. It was something that always seemed to bother me in hindsight. It was amusing, but out of place.
Preliminary point of disclaimer: I am absolutely not saying any of the following as an indictment of people who personally prefer the American English dub for any reason; I'm well aware that there's a lot going on in terms of accessibility, reasons of personal sentiment/attachment, and the fact that legally available subtitled versions of the earlier series range from limited accessibility to downright absent. I also fully admit to having my own attachments from the fact that said dub was what I technically got into the franchise via to begin with; I love the voice actors and I also have certain zinger lines from the dub I personally treasure, so please take everything I'm about to say with an understanding that there's a lot of extremely complicated personal sentiments mixed in with it.
I will say that, first of all, which dub we're talking about is important. There's a pretty huge difference between the Adventure/02 dubs and the Tamers/Frontier/Savers ones, and then of course the one for Xros Wars (although I think the majority of the fanbase is pretty critical of that last one, given that the "but my childhood" bias is out of the picture). There's also a mild difference between the Adventure and 02 ones, since the latter is probably the most aggressive in terms of how off-the-rails it could get with its changes (and I am confident in saying that I fully believe this is the case even outside my own bias for 02 as a series). I honestly never really had much to gripe about with Tamers through Savers; I think they were still fairly aggressive with the added jokes, but it wasn't to the level that I'm particularly bothered (even though I generally prefer watching with the Japanese version these days anyway). It's probably a matter of taste. The second 02 movie and the Tamers/Frontier movies were also dubbed during this era, and I have the same to say about those.
Adventure and 02 are a completely different story, and especially in regards to 02. I think added jokes are okay to a certain extent -- again, probably question of taste -- but I have problems when the desire to be funny starts actually cutting into characterization or story integrity. That definitely happened way too many times for my liking in Adventure and 02, and I have a lot of personal misgivings about it, especially since its definition of "funny" often overlapped with "these characters start insulting each other for no reason" to degrees that stop feeling like "comfortable friends" and more just "needlessly malicious". Certain characters (Mimi and Daisuke come most to mind) are very different to the point where I couldn't make sense of their intended character arcs, and actively disliked their characters as a kid for being rude, condescending, and obnoxious before I watched the Japanese version and realized how different they were. (I give my regards to everyone who saw the potential in them with the dub only, of which there are many, but please understand that I am not the only person in this camp, and that I feel the changes most certainly led to a statistical increase in people disliking them.) In the case of 02, I also think the insistence on being reckless about the changes adversely impacted the story and character arcs overall because a lot of things that were meant to be consistent in Japanese stopped making sense, a lot of the emotional depth and range of the characters got stripped out to make said jokes -- hard to believe Daisuke's nearly as emotionally pained and impacted at times when a joke has to be added in there, especially when most of his lines in the first half involve him dunking on others and others dunking on him for comedy purposes -- and in general, I'm not against adding jokes per se, but there are times I just really wish it could have learned to hold it back just once during some very important scenes that have vital story and character importance. I am personally very positive that this only contributed further to the stigma of 02 being a poorly written series with inconsistent character and story writing, especially when there was a lot of nuance lost in said character arcs.
I'm not a localization purist. I don't think changes are inherently bad. I'm fully aware that things were very different back then, and at the time it was considered that making those changes may have been necessary to reach the Anglosphere market. I don't personally know if it was actually true; nearly every other country got a significantly more accurate dub and they seem to be fine (and they're currently side-eyeing the Americans for being so weird about it, and I can't say I blame them for it, especially when Anglosphere fanbase denizens have this awful entitled attitude about acting like other dubs are lesser and that somehow "but my childhood" only applies if you've seen in American English, never mind that other people have childhoods too and the Southeast Asian English dub also exists). I wonder if it's really a good thing in the long run for Americans to be pinned as people who can't enjoy something unless you add a million jokes. I'm also disturbed by the fact a lot of people gave and still give passes to some sentiments that often feel like downright anti-Asian motives when it comes to dub changes, just because "my childhood". I completely understand that localization means that you have to alter certain cultural things lest they become difficult to relate to or understand, I cannot say I'm on board with the fact these kinds of dubs were and are often so aggressive about it that they feel like they're pathologically trying to scrub out the Asian scourge. I don't have any particular grudges against the dubbing staff for what they did on an individual level because, as someone who doesn't work in the localization industry, I don't know what pressures they had or what they had to consider in marketing this product, I think everyone has the right to judge which version of the product they prefer for themselves; I just am really uncomfortable with what kind of sentiment fuels the idea that these changes were necessary in the first place, I dislike the fact that I can't voice my concerns without being treated like I'm insulting a sacred cow, and I'm a bit frustrated that the "the dub didn't change anything significant" is still such a pervasive sentiment in this fanbase after 20 years, making discussion of this issue difficult and discussion of the series itself unproductive when we keep running into two people "arguing" about what's actually two very different things.
#digimon#digimon adventure#digimon adventure 02#shiha's ask box#aheroslayer#digimon multi series talk
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Hey, since the maximoffs are generally white-passing (though not always and “passing” is a complicated thing) in the comics, do you think it’s rude/unnecessary to confront someone for making very pale art of them? If I did it I’d try to be nicer about it than I would if they were just blatantly whitewashing a visibly brown or black character, but I see a lot of artist who I feel like might not know and I really wonder if it’s worth it. Do you have any thoughts?
That's complicated. It's not a misrepresentation of the characters in the way that, for instance, a blonde Wanda or a tall, muscular Billy would be.
I can't reasonably fault anybody, fanartist or canon illustrator, for drawing characters on-model.
That said, in the last few years there has been an ongoing conversation in this fandom, at least here on tumblr, about who the Maximoffs are, and the ways in which their general representation is lacking. It's become more common to draw the characters with darker skin or more apparently ethnic features. If you're a fan of Wanda, or Pietro, or any iteration of Young Avengers, it's pretty hard to avoid that conversation, so it's easy to point fingers at anybody who seems to be ignorant to, or is intentionally ignoring, that trend. If I'm reading your message correctly, you seem to be asking if that trend represents a truer, more valid version of the characters that we should all adhere to, and if it is necessarily problematic to do otherwise.
I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I believe that disrupting the representation of all Roma people as white-passing, or even interchangeable with white Europeans, is crucial. Setting aside the fact that the diaspora intersects with just about every racial group, not just white people, the broad whitewashing of Roma communities in media erases our origins and occludes the fact that the mistreatment of Roma people is a race issue. On a wider scale, I believe that this manufactured ignorance contributes to systemic antiromanyism, but within the sphere of pop culture, specifically, it allows people to get away with obviously racist art and writing, and it's why Romani history and identity are viewed as disposable whenever people adapt these comics for the screen.
On the other hand, I'm deeply frustrated by the tokenization and co-opting of Roma identity that this fandom performs. This may sound hypocritical, considering how much of my blog revolves around my edits, but I see a lot of folks on tumblr who draw brown Wandas, make fancasts with Romani actors, and, like me, photoshop comic book panels, but not a lot of people who demonstrate any understanding of antiromanyism, or better yet, material allyship. In everybody's haste to earn diversity points, they've produced a lot of unintentionally racist content. I've seen a lot of cultural tourism, inappropriately co-opted activist work, and even virtual brownfacing in the form of RP accounts. No one, myself included, should feel entitled to dictate what a true or valid image of Wanda looks like, but especially not a community of people who think that having a folder of Hiba Abouk gifs and a Wikipedia list of common chib phrases makes it okay to racefake for your MCU roleplay.
Anyways, when it comes to fanart, you're going to have to rely on your own subjective judgement, and try to think about more specific issues than "whitewashing" because these characters just don't fit into that idea. Content that's derived from the movies is complicit in erasure. Content that is derived from the comics, but which applies lighter and straighter hair to Billy or Wanda is complicit in eurocentric standards, and the trend of gradually lightwashing characters of color, and even white Jewish characters. Content which employs racist stereotypes is not better than canon "white-passing" depictions. Cultural appropriation is still cultural appropriation, even if the character you're drawing is a member of that culture. Many popular writers and artists have a history of ignoring or shutting down dialogues about representation, even harassing people like me.
Hopefully, thinking about that stuff gives you a more clear idea of what to look out for, what's worthy of confrontation, and how to articulate your problems with a specific person or their content.
I know this ran longer than was strictly necessary, but I wanted to roll your message together with a similar question about whitewashing:
The Maximoffs weren't conceived, written, or designed in such a way as to be intentionally whitewashed, at least not originally-- their background was established via a retcon, at least a decade after their first appearance. Up until that point, they were generic, apparently white, Central Europeans. The fact that they are treated as interchangeably white and Roma is both product and perpetuation of the broad whitewashing of European Romani that I described earlier. Nobody's going out of their way to make sure the twins always have at least one white ancestor in order to justify "whitewashing" them, rather, nobody has ever truly envisioned them as people of color in the first place.
People will perform all kinds of mental gymnastics in order to minimize the Maximoffs' ancestry, or come up with reasons why it makes the most sense for them to look white-- invoking Erik as the father; dredging up the short-lived Robert Frank retcon; or, for Billy and Tommy, claiming that their resurrection somehow erased their genetic and ancestral ties to Wanda, even though the text implies the very opposite. I'll let you in on a secret, though-- these characters aren't real people, and their stories aren't immutable truths. If anybody, fans, writers, or artists, is making leaps of logic to avoid making comics more inclusive, it's not because their hands are tied by the unbreakable chains of canon, it's because they don't want comics to be more inclusive.
Also, I could be off the mark here, but I don't think I am-- Sinti people are Roma. Different parts of the diaspora have different names for themselves, but are all part of the same larger population. It's mostly a regional thing, as I understand. If you want my opinion, it doesn't matter what version of the story you go with-- whether Magda, Marya or Natalya is their birthmother, Marya and Django raised them. They have direct Roma ancestry either way, and they were raised by a Roma family. It's hard to say exactly where in the world the Maximoffs lived, or what specific label they might have identified with, but the twins would likely identify with the community they were raised in, be that Sinti or Servitka or Kalerash or whatever else. If I'm being honest I don't think that distinction is relevant for non-Roma to make.
I've said this before, but I don't really care what the characters look like, and I'm not interested in playing identity politics with fictional stories that were created by and for American gadje. Obviously, I love these characters as a fan, and I do have my own vision, no pun intended, of who they are and how I'd like to see them represented, but I worry that these conversations are unproductive. I hope you guys understand that I'm not out here trying to canonize an arbitrary idea of what Jewish Romani people look like. American superhero media has a long history of exploiting, misrepresenting, and erasing Romani history. I want more people to understand that, and understand the material consequences it has, and think about how comics, American culture, and art in general can deconstruct this specific mechanism of racism. It's not about any one character's identity, and it's not about my creative vision.
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