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whiskeynwriting · 2 years ago

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Birds of a Feather - Chapter Two: Acquainted

Nico x Female Reader

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Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI)

Smoking, alcohol consumption, mentions of an age gap, get ready to ramp it up in chapter three lol

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A/N: There's some Spanish in this chapter, but as always the translations are in parenthesis after the sentences where it's used (:

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“Tape forty-nine, June twenty-third. It is approximately eight o’clock in the morning; I’ve quite liked this new exercise. I find myself becoming more poetic these days, smelling the roses, if you will. There’s been quite the breakthrough with my students lately, no doubt due to my own influence, I’m quite proud to say.” Nico laughs, his chuckle extremely self-assured. He’s having a good day. “But… her. She is still a mystery.”

He then hears something stir outside of his bedroom; the sound makes him spin on his heels. When he doesn’t hear a knock or see the doorknob jiggle, he narrows his eyes, but continues.

“These feelings are… strange. Why should I have to prove myself or behave like this for a young girl? Certainly I have no need for such attention or reassurance. I am Nicolás, a proud name! An artist, a composer, a philanthropist and much more. That is who I am, that is what I am!”

It’s been nearly a month, and still, it’s strange for him to have someone like you in his house, in both personal and professional preference. He’s never had a maid that was so involved with his life before. Though you’ve grown close, of course, or at least acquainted with one another.

“And Daniel,” he’s speaking much lower now, a look of distaste crossing his face. He never disliked the boy before you came to his home. “He’s taken quite a liking to her. How could he not when she dresses like that? Her small bows and flowery skirts, it begs for the eye’s attention.” When he says it his eyes widen, not having realized what he’s just said until he’s said it. And even though he’s alone, he blushes from embarrassment. Why did he say that?

“I…” He honestly isn’t sure what to say. “She does her job well. I’ve been happy with her attention to detail.” Continuing on, he decides to end his commentary on the topic of you for today. “I’m content.”

You’re not sure you’ve ever been this confused before. Your feelings surrounding the complexity of it all are honestly baffling. And over what? Nico’s opinion? His praise? You sigh, embarrassed to admit you’ve done your best to receive it nearly the moment you arrived. Of course you have, he’s your boss! But this is just silly, you’re only picking out a drink menu.

“What does he like?” You mutter to yourself, scanning the options on your laptop.

There were so many on the website, it was making your head start to spin. And you thought this would be one of the easier steps. When you took on this job, you never expected that it would be your responsibility to plan Nico’s social events. But you took the responsibility like a champ, planning every last detail as soon as he informed you of it. But following through on those plans is another story. And with the event only two days away, you were starting to panic.

During your stay, you’ve observed Nico, eyeing him even when he was unaware. It was easy to learn his interests, his preferences for food, his style, the way he speaks and likes to be spoken to. And when you conformed to these general likes and dislikes, he responded well. It was subtle at first, his kind compliments.

“Nicely done.” He’d say with a short nod, watching as you handed him his morning plate.

“You have a clear talent for that.” He’s told you, watching you look up at him with a brightness in your eyes. You’d been decorating a gallery wall for him.

“How beautiful.” Nico said once, eyeing the braid in your hair.

At times, he truly made you feel like the center of the universe, praising you for the smallest of things when done right; however, you’ve also learned that he has the capability to make you feel small, forgettable. Because you are, you’re the maid. And since you never leave, you assume that it’s become easy for him to dismiss your presence. It’s far too easy, actually. You’re a ghost in the background, a simple flutter in the wind - only noticeable when one looks for it.

Because of your boss’ tendency to be candid, your insides practically light up when you receive a compliment; it’s because you know he’s being genuine. But his approval was just as blunt and vocal as his distaste. If you did something wrong, he was certain to let you know. He didn’t care if what he said hurt your feelings; you have a job to get done. And he’s going to make sure you get it done right.

Quickly, you found that there were different levels of his appreciation, from mere comments to full on gratitude, true and genuine compliments. At first, you thought he was less than happy to feel your presence when you were near, but it seems he’s finally grown fond of you. He smiles when he praises you, too, almost happy to have placed a seed of joy within you. But did he have to phrase it that way?

“Good afternoon.” You say to him, looking up from your laptop.

“And to you.” Nico replies, dipping his head down with a grin while walking through the living room.

With a quiet yet dreamy sigh, you stare, watching as he waltzes elegantly across the floor. He’s well-dressed, he always is. The only time you see him in something that wasn’t professional or designer was in the morning. Even then, his night clothes were tailored to fit him perfectly. Subconsciously, you’ve romanticized him. He’s such a dream to you; the life he lives is incredibly idealistic. He gets to do what he loves on a daily basis, and lives lavishly because of it. What more could he want? Nico’s style is elegant, his personal hygiene pristine, his taste in music and movies quite refined. The way he glanced around the room made you want to look around, too; because whatever he was looking at must be worthwhile for you to see, too. He looked at the simplest of things as if they were made of gold, he spoke as if everyone in the world would listen, walked like he knew everyone stared as he strolled into the room; and they did. They always did. And you did, too.

Across the living room, Nico sits, having pulled a book from one of his many shelves to read. You’re surprised he’s choosing to sit with you. He doesn’t realize it, but he finds himself yearning for your company. It was sweet and calm, just like you.

He’s wearing his reading glasses, his hair pushed to the side and his beard freshly trimmed. His gray stubble shows his age, and so does his quiet groan when he adjusts to get more comfortable. He adjusts the pillow you’d placed on the seat moments prior to him coming in, settling into the plushness of it. It makes you grin; you like helping him.

While completing your duties, you decide to hum along to a song, one that’s been stuck inside your head all day. You make sure to stay quiet, not wanting to disturb Nico while he reads. But he notices, and not unpleasantly. It makes him grin. Quite the little songbird, you are.

“How is the event coming along?” Nico asks, eyes unwavering as they continue to scan the lines of his book. He props his left ankle up on his right knee, creating a triangle with his legs. He holds the novel with both hands, resting it on his shin.

“Good.” You lie, swallowing with a nod. “I’m currently viewing the drink menus.”

“Drink menus?” He looks up now, peering at you over the top of his glasses. “Surely you’ve done more than that.”

“I have!” You return nervously, nodding once again, this time more hurried. “I just, I saved the easiest portions for last.”

Slowly, his eyes return to the page. “Good.” Nico says calmly, his foot shaking lightly.

Lord, you really need to get going on this. But before you can even return to the screen, a knock on the front door rings throughout your new home.

“I’ll get it.” Immediately, you stand, placing your laptop beside you.

Again, Nico’s eyes peek up from the pages, watching you pass him and walk out of the room. He smells you as you walk by, inhaling deeply when the fresh scent is available to his nose. Clean and flowery. Sweet and pleasant.

“Hi,”

“Hi!” It’s an excited response, giddy almost, and it makes him internally groan. Daniel is here. He doesn’t get up to say hello.

“Señor Nicolás.” Daniel nods with a kind smile, walking into the living room and over to Fabian’s cage.

“Daniel.” Is all he says in return; again, eyes not leaving his book.

Your friend gives you a slightly concerned look, but you shrug it off.

“So,” Daniel begins as he takes the parrot out of his cage. “What have you learned?”

“No loud noises, no sudden movements, no big reactions.”

“Very good.” Daniel grins, “You’re learning so quick.”

At this, Nico perks up a bit.

“Well it’s hard not to when you repeated it nearly five times last night.” You joke with him, holding your hand out to Fabian.

Last night? You were home last night; did you speak on the phone?

“I just want you guys to be friends, okay?”

Daniel hasn’t let you hold Fabian in quite some time; he wanted the bird to get more accustomed to you, and you to him. Mateo, however, loves you. He lets you feed him all the time. It’s rather easy to receive the approval of a tortoise, though. They’re such peaceful creatures.

“I was wondering,” Daniel then says, watching you admire Fabian’s feathers. “There’s a new bar that opened up in town. Would you like to go there with me sometime this week?”

“Oh, really?” You ask, intrigued. “That sounds fun!”

You haven’t been out much, not at all, actually. An adventure into town sounds pleasant, refreshing. The house is nice, but it’s become stuffy. It’s been nearly a month; you desperately need a break. Plus, you’ll finally be able to spend time with your new friend, your only friend. This will be good for you.

Before long, the door is knocked upon. Standing to answer it before you can, Nico clears his throat, opening the door. By the way he approaches the situation, you assume he’s expecting a student. And upon further inspection, you realize he was expecting one, now welcoming her inside.

He doesn’t excuse himself, as he wasn’t really talking to either of you. But still, you’d like it if he addressed you, especially in front of this particular pupil of his. Pressing your lips together firmly, you wonder if you should listen in on their lesson. After all, the music they produced was lovely. Wouldn’t it sound even prettier up close? But that’s not the real reason you want to listen in, is it?

He’s pacing the room, he feels foolish but he’s still doing it. He’d cleared his head enough to get through his lesson, but once that was over, he shot upstairs to his private room. His study was the first place that came to mind, a comfortable space for him and his thoughts. A place where he can be alone.

“This is good,” He decides, firmly stroking his chin. This feeling of jealousy, he must be misinterpreting it. He needs to redirect his emotions. And while you’re busy with a new love interest, he can direct his focus elsewhere.

The day has gone by quick, and while he’s been in his study, you’ve been planning his party. It’s an event for other artists and musicians, ones he’s known for years. And because these are his friends, you feel incredible pressure to add in Nico’s specific tastes, his favorite foods and music, his preferred color schemes and decorating; surely they share those things in common. You’re aiming to impress, and not only him.

“Sir?” You call, knocking gently on his office door. You didn’t receive an answer when you went to his bedroom.

Nico looks up from his desk, having been composing a small piece for his students to practice. He’s wearing his reading glasses again, but takes them off as he sighs.

“Come in.”

Opening the door, you’re met with the warm tone of his work space. It’s dimly lit, the lights that are on emitting a warm, golden glow. There’s a candle burning in the corner, one that smells like sandalwood. There’s also the smell of tobacco; he’s smoking a cigarette. He’s sitting at his desk, which is placed along the back wall of the room. The wood is dark, just like the leather, and there’s an abundance of both all around you. He looks misunderstood, sat in the darkness like this; a poet, surrounded by the art that consumes him.

“I was wondering what your preferences were regarding liquor.”

While you speak, you hold your hands behind your back, twiddling your fingers nervously.

“Still on those drink menus, I see.” He grins, amused. He knew you’d been lying. And then he leans forward, grabbing a glass that you didn’t see sitting on the corner of his desk. “Whiskey, my darling.”

Those words make you flutter inside. He doesn’t ever call you that.

“Oh, I’ve… I haven’t noticed that before.”

“You wouldn’t have.” He returns, shaking his head. He holds up the glass, admiring the dark tint to the liquid it’s holding for him.

His words make you sad, your head hanging a bit. He sees this.

“Not for your lack of attention.” Nico corrects, “I don’t drink it anywhere but here.”

“Oh,” You lift your spirits a bit. That makes sense, then. You don’t often come into this room. But his comment makes you wonder, your thoughts spoken aloud. “Why not?”

Nico’s eyes dart over to you, a sly smirk on his lips. “The devil is tempting.”

Your lips mirror his own; he must be tipsy. It seems like it would be rather enjoyable, spending time here. Smoking, drinking, until all your thoughts swirl into something so incredibly beautiful, too beautiful to dream up when sober. The atmosphere, the air about him, it draws you in.

“You don’t drink, do you?”

You shake your head, holding your hands behind your back as you take a timid step towards him.

Shaking his head, he utters, “What a shame.” Gently swirling his drink. He then lifts the rim to his lips, taking a sip. “What do you think of it?”

“Hm?” The question takes you by surprise.

Again, his eyes flicker to yours. And this time, he sets the glass down.

“What, do you think of it?” He asks again, sternly.

“I, um… I’m sure it’s pleasurable to those who drink it.”

Nico tuts at this, head moving side to side. His fingers slide along the glass, the cup decorated with a clear, diamond pattern.

“I take pity on you.”

Your brow creases, head tilting to the side. What did you do wrong this time?

“I despise the boring.”

“Oh, I…” His words sting. He thinks you’re boring?

Nico’s harsh words only serve to dull the interest that’s been rising inside him. Perhaps you’re not worth his time, after all.

“People who don’t have opinions, those who would rather stay neutral; lacking depth.”

You gulp, fingers twitching before balling up into your palms, which are still held behind your back. By now, your face has ran hot, boiling just beneath the surface. You’re full of embarrassment and nerves, his words making you feel insecure.

But his next words surprise you.

“I know that’s not you.” He surprises himself, too. He must have had too much, because he’s letting his inner emotions bleed through. “By the way you dress, I can tell you have taste.”

Looking down at your current attire, you raise your brows thoughtfully. “Oh, t - thank you.”

What comes next is your name, sliding from his mouth as easily as the liquor slides down his throat, and just as smooth, too. His voice beckons for you, taunting you just enough to lift your head. He’s looking at you.

“Don’t hide your opinions from me.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise me?”

“What?”

“Promise me.” It’s not a request this time.

“I… promise.” You eventually say, caught off guard by the demand. But it makes him happy; he smiles.

Sucking in a breath, he looks amused, now sitting up in his chair.

“Take a seat.”

Nico gestures to a chaise lounge off to the side of the room, not too far from him. Eager to please, you follow his motions, sitting down on the leather covered piece of furniture.

“So, what do you think of her?”

Once you sit down, your head snaps up to look at him. “Who?”

You know immediately who he’s talking about, of course you do. That new student of his, well, relatively new. She’d started lessons with him two weeks ago and isn’t necessarily kind to you, especially when Nico isn’t around. She likes to raise her nose to you, act like she’s better than you. Scoffing when you make Nico laugh and grinning while watching you vacuum. She wore bright red lipstick every day she came, and wore skirts that just barely covered her center.

Not only do you know who he’s talking about, but you know why he’s asking you about her, too. After a moment of snooping, you’d found that the air duct beneath the first flight of stairs offered you the best opportunity to listen to his music when he was in that room. Earlier today, you decided to listen in. And to your utter shock and dismay, Nico caught you hiding beneath the stairs like a child, like a fool.

“Veronica.”

Swallowing your nerves down, you force a smile. “She’s… very pretty.”

Nico chuckles. You were clearly embarrassed when he caught you today. Why were you so curious about what he was doing in that room? Have you always listened to him like this? Or only during sessions with her? She dresses differently than you, her makeup and hair dissimilar to your own, too. But Nico wasn’t interested in that kind of look; and even if he was, she was only a student to him.

“What do you think of her music?”

He wonders, were you jealous? This is why he asked what you think of her. He doesn’t care what you think about her music, he wanted to see how you’d react to the question. And just as he thought, your reaction tells him everything he needs to know.

Silly girl, he thinks to himself.

His clarification makes you feel like a complete idiot. You feel stiff and cornered, and he didn’t usually make you feel this way. You want to go back to how he was during the day; his warm yet eccentric personality always makes you feel fuzzy inside. Normally, Nico was quiet. When he wanted to, he listened. But when he wanted to talk, boy did he do it. That’s what he did today, that’s what made you so jealous today. While listening in, you’d hear him tell Veronica about his most recent trip to South America, something he’s never told you. You’ve been here for more than a month, and her, only two weeks. Why has he never said anything about those trips to you?

“What, what was the question again?” You’ve become lost in your own thoughts.

Again, Nico chuckles, a true laugh this time. But as for his response, all he does is nod up at you, grabbing his glass once again.

“Go to bed, little one.”

The main color is yellow, muted and pastel and in every sense of the word, cute. It’s the first time you can dress a little looser than you do around the house; you’re going out! You’re so excited you’re practically giddy. You haven’t been able to wear these pieces around Nico, you wouldn’t dare. Your day to day attire usually consisted of a long sleeve sweater, maybe even a turtle neck, your top always fitting nicely. Almost always, you’d wear a skirt, the summer heat not allowing anything else. When guests were around, Nico had a specific outfit he’d like you to wear. A black pencil skirt, a blue undershirt and a long, dark gray cardigan. It kept you very covered, it almost made you feel hidden. But tonight, you’re wearing something new, something that makes you feel noticeable and bright.

Yellow, you knew you wanted to wear yellow. You pulled out a short, plaid skirt, one that went to your mid-thigh. The base was an extremely pale lemon color, with the plaid consisting of muted greens and pinks. You then decided on a white tank top, lace decorating both the top and bottom edges. Covering your arms was a small, sunshine-toned cardigan. The hem fell to your waist, the white lace of your tank top peaking out at the very bottom. There were buttons, but you only connected the two bottom ones, deciding to allow the lace at the top of your shirt to show as well. Feeling a little extra free and flirty, you let the cardigan hang off one of your shoulders, draping a white handbag over that same arm. Simple, white sneakers adorn your feet, sparkling and clean.

As for hair and makeup, you decided to doll yourself up. You wrapped your hair into a claw clip, placing it at the back of your head. A few strands hang around your face, fairly messy but entirely cute. And applying your makeup was easy; you went for a nude look.

On your way down the stairs, you hear the landline ring. And with no one else around, you decide to answer it.

“Hello?”

Daniel answers with the question of your name on the other end of the line.

“Hi!”

“Hey! Just checking that we’re still good to meet?”

“Of course, I’m so excited!”

Around the corner, your boss hears you speaking to someone on the phone. Curiosity brews inside him, so he inches closer to listen in.

“Está bien, te veré pronto, hermosa.” (Okay good, I’ll see you soon, beautiful)

Beautiful? That’s not something he’s said before. The nickname catches you off guard, but you laugh it off somewhat awkwardly.

“Te veo pronto.” (See you soon)

Before he can say anything more, you hang up the phone. And in good timing too, because Nico is currently rounding the corner to come talk to you.

“¿Tú hablas Español?” He asks, a curious crease on his forehead. (You speak Spanish?)

He practically blurts it out as he approaches, but once he fully sees you, he closes his mouth. This is new, incredibly new. He’s never seen so much skin on you. Your shoulder and arm out, your thighs on display, your cleavage even daring to request his gaze. He’s stunned to see you this way.

Jumping a little, you look at him with surprise before answering. “Sí.” (Yes)

His own shock is obvious, those dark brown eyes scanning your form. He swallows when he gives into the silent request, his eyes finally falling to your chest.

“¿Estás bien, señor?” (Are you okay, sir?)

Nico’s eyes dart up to yours, something about you calling him sir in Spanish making his insides stir.

“Tu acento,” He breathes out, almost in awe. But he tries to compose himself. “Es perfecto.” (Your accent, it’s perfect)

“Gracias señor,” His words make warmth rush to your cheeks, dipping your head bashfully, gracefully. “He estudiado durante años.” (Thank you sir, I’ve studied for years)

“¿Estudió?” (Studied?)

“Sí, yo también he viajado.” (Yes, I have traveled as well)

“Estoy… impresionado.” (I’m… impressed)

And he truly is. He had no clue you knew more than one language, let alone his own mother tongue. Apparently, you’re much more cultured than he’d assumed you to be.

“Bueno,” You respond, eyes floating down to the ground as you ponder your full response. He seems so intrigued. You wish you could keep this interaction going, but Daniel is waiting. “Me voy ahora.” (Well, I’m leaving now)

“Dónde?” It comes out before he realizes. He shouldn’t be interested in that. (Where?)

“Al bar, con Daniel.” You say it as if he should know, and he should. You told him about this the other day. (To the bar, with Daniel)

“Ah,” He sharply nods. “Por supuesto.” (Of course)

An awkward silence passes between the two of you. Something has been… off, inside him. He feels almost protective over you. You are under his supervision, after all, and because of your duties, you’ve grown quite essential to his daily life. Nevertheless, he must move on. Clasping his hands together and taking a breath he smiles at you.

“Qué tengas buenas noches.”(Have a good night)

And before you can respond, he turns, and is gone. You wanted to wish him well on his nighttime endeavors, too. It’s a shame you can’t be present for the party you’d planned. But it works out in your favor, as your cab has been waiting in his driveway. Daniel offered to pick you up, but you insisted that you meet. You didn’t want him to go out of his way.

The bar is about a fifteen-minute drive, but you don’t mind. The city is beautiful at this time of night, just before dusk. The lights are beginning to glow as the sky becomes dark, a cool breeze drifting by every now and then to rustle the leaves in the trees. The sunset is stunning tonight, as well, something that distracts you as the car continues to move.

“Hey!” Daniel calls to you, a wide smile on his face.

He’d been waiting outside the bar for you; how sweet of him to do. Once you pay your driver, you step out, walking over to meet him after shutting the door.

“Hi,” Comes your graceful response, reaching out to accept his friendly hug. “Have you been inside?”

“Not yet; I was waiting for you.”

Pulling away, it’s easy to see just how happy he is. And you return this, thankful to finally have a friend in this new city. He steps to the side, opening the door for you. You assume it’s a simple, gentlemanly gesture, but think differently when you feel his hand fall to the dip of your back. Eyes widening slightly, you move forward a little quicker, stepping out of his partial hold.

The establishment is full of patrons, and you expected this, what with it being a Friday night. As you make your way to a hightop table, you notice a few wandering eyes. Men your age stare with a smirk, looking over their shoulders as you pass by. And you have to admit… it feels nice. What girl doesn’t like a little attention? And to not beg for it from Nico felt nice, too.

“You look nice tonight.” Daniel says, shouting a bit over everyone else.

“Oh, thank you!” Comes your cheerful response, smoothing your hands over the front of your skirt. You grin; you agree with him.

“I’m so glad we met,” He takes a seat directly across from you, resting an arm on the table. “I really love your company.”

To be completely honest, you find this strange. You’d only ever spent time together while on the clock, only having a true phone conversation twice. How can he genuinely enjoy your company that way? How can he say he loves spending time with you when he doesn’t even know you?

“Oh, you’re too sweet.” You quickly respond, brushing off the possible meaning behind his words.

“No I mean it; you’re such a joy to be around. Here, let me get us some drinks.”

You’re thankful he changed the topic, especially to that. Immediately, a martini comes to mind, something to help take the edge off. But it only serves to ramp it up.

“Classy girl,” Daniel says, setting the cocktail before you.

At this point, his words are making you cringe. Why is he acting like this with you? He didn’t act like this on the phone, and especially not in Nico’s home.

“Thanks.” You say dryly, swirling the olive at the end of your toothpick before sipping some of your drink.

This time when Daniel sits down, he slides his chair over beside you. There’s already an awkward tension in the air, the thickness of it growing when he invades your space. Swallowing your nerves, you do your best to push on.

“How um, how are you?” Trying to make conversation, you turn to face him.

“I’m doing so much better now that I’m with you.” This time, he winks, and brazenly, he leans forward. Is he… is he trying to kiss you?!

“Daniel,” You hiss in shock, leaning backward. “What are you doing?!

“What do you mean?” He asks as he leans back, clearly offended.

“I’m, I… we’re friends.”

“But you came with me tonight… you said yes to our date.”

“Our date?” Widening your eyes, you suddenly wish you were back at home. Your shrill voice does nothing to pierce through the crowd, making you feel that much more defensive. You feel like if something bad happens, you’ll have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. And suddenly, your breathing begins to pick up. “I thought we were just, I don’t know, hanging out!”

“We hangout at work!”

“Work is work, Daniel!” You spit back in return. “I can’t believe you thought I wanted this. I’m in a new city and I… I just wanted a friend.”

“Well, we can be that.” You look up when he says this; maybe this can be fixed. “We can be more than that.”

“Ugh,” You groan, shaking your head. “I don’t want that! Oh my god.” Your hands fly to your face, covering your disappointed, aggravated, and flustered expression.

This isn’t what you expected this night to be, not at all. This was supposed to be fun, a time to relax and just let go, to not worry about chores or schedules or Nico. You wanted a break, but now all you want is to go back to Nico’s home.

Walking through the garden, Nico eyes his surroundings. He admires the way you’ve decorated the place, both inside and out. The catering you hired is more than adequate, the musicians elegant, and he finds himself admiring the thought of you. This is the second time you’ve impressed him tonight.

His friends ask about the event, complimenting him on how calming it’s been, yet stimulating in the same sense. He mentions you, only briefly, giving you the credit that you most certainly deserve. In truth, tonight was a test, his biggest one for you yet. And so far, you’ve exceeded his expectations.

Artists and friends walk throughout the main level of his home, some in the garden as well. Each with a glass in hand, they admire his work, bringing some of their own to display too - only upon Nico’s invitation to do so. He takes his time, chatting quietly with each guest, admiring their work and thanking them for sharing such amazing pieces. His associates are right, this is quite the calming event. Sophisticated, too, just what he’d hoped it would be.

“Ode to a Nightingale.”

“Ah,”

“Have you read it?”

“It’s on my list.” A friend of his answers, giving him a grin. “I’ve heard it provokes thought.”

“Indeed. Oh,” He stutters slightly, lowering his glass once he completes a sip. He then holds a finger up to his colleague. “I have a copy you can read. Let me go get it for you.”

“Nicolás, I couldn’t possibly -”

“Truly it’s no trouble; let me.” Nico insists, a warm smile as he reassures this friend. “What good is literature if it cannot be shared with the world?”

At this, the man offers an amused laugh, agreeing with him.

Turning, Nico walks inside, moving swiftly behind his guests as he makes a beeline for the stairs. He’s excited to finally tell someone about this piece. And his friend was right, it did make him think.

Once he’s in the hallway, he struts down the center rug, intent on going directly into his study; that is, until something small pulls at his attention. Just before he reaches the end of the hall, he passes your room. For some odd reason, the door is cracked, opened just slightly. He wants to respect your privacy, of course, so he walks over to close it. But once his hand is on the knob, his eyes dart up, unable to hold himself back from looking inside. He’s curious about you.

Nico’s deep, dark eyes peek into your room, the space dim as it sits unlit. It seems different than when he first introduced you to it, messier than the work you do around his home. This confuses him, and without thinking, he pushes the door open to try and understand the situation a bit more. Your bed is unmade, clothes strewn randomly on the floor, books and papers cluttering your desk. When you clean his home, it’s spotless, so why is your room so dirty? Does he truly work you so hard? Or do you just focus on impressing him?

Now that he’s in here, he figures he might as well explore. Why not get to know you a little more intimately? He doesn’t realize he’s giving into his thoughts, though, the ones he’s been pushing aside.

Naturally, he goes to look at the papers and books laid out on your desk, as it’s set straight ahead. There’s a stack of them and he picks up the top one, flipping through the pages. You’ve highlighted a few quotes and lines, each one about passion and desire. You long for these feelings; it seems you’re quite the hopeless romantic. He grins, sighing out a chuckle while he reads. As he continues to flip through the pages, he comes across a picture. Turning the book sideways, he finds that it’s a photo of you and two friends. You’re all in your cap and gowns, it must’ve been taken on your graduation day. Bright smiles color each of your faces, but yours is undeniably the brightest. You’re very beautiful, your expressions so joyous and pure.

Turning, he sees your bed. Your sheets are tossed, pillows disorderly as they lay across the top sheets. Subconsciously, he reaches out. The skin of Nico’s palm meets your bedspread, sliding along the sheets as he walks beside the space where you sleep. He’s gazing down at the piece of furniture, something so simple, so normal. But it’s special now; it’s been marked by you.

His path leads him to your bathroom, his feet continuing to move through your space. On your sink sits a bottle of perfume, among many other things. The bottle is gorgeously crafted, though, that’s why he notices it first. Acting seemingly of its own accord once again, his hand reaches out, grabbing the bottle and removing the cap.

“Hm…” He hums after he’s inhaled. It’s your scent, it’s you. A light smell, clean and flowery.

Walking out of your bathroom, he stumbles upon a small pile of clothes he hadn’t noticed before. He looks down at the garments, furrowing his brows as he takes in the details. A large shirt, one you likely use when going to bed, lays at his feet. His eyes trail across the floor, and then he sees it. Sitting a few mere inches from him are a pair of your used panties, white and cotton; they look soft. And not too far from your underwear is a matching bralette.

For the first time, Nico wonders what you look like beneath your clothes. What does your body look like with that matching set on? What does it look like with that matching set off? Excitement stirs within him, but just as quickly as that emotion appears, it goes; now replaced with guilt.

What the hell am I doing?

Spinning on his heels, he strides toward your bedroom door. Why did he think it was okay to do this? To invade your privacy like this? He’s a man of morals, how could he let himself act in such a depraved way?

Completely forgetting the book, Nico scurries down the stairs. He just wants to get away from your room, from the situation he created. It feels so inappropriate to him, but something about that excites him. Jesus, he needs to get himself together.

“Oh,” He stumbles a bit, grabbing onto the handrail. And then, he mutters your name.

“Hi, um, I’m sorry.” Your response is quick and shaky, doing your best to avoid his eyes. “I’m sorry for crashing your party, I just -”

Cutting yourself off, you sigh, the breath coming out uneven and a little high. This night has gone completely sideways and you have no idea who to talk to about it, but you know you can’t talk to him. At least you shouldn’t; he wouldn’t want to hear about this. But he surprises you.

“Why are you back so early?”

But Nico doesn’t say it out of concern - of course not. He furrows his brows, thinking how unprofessional this is of you. He’s not at all worrying about your emotional state, not concerned about seeing you home so early in the night. No he’s only worried because… because of how you’re dressed. That’s it. You should be dressed more appropriately if you are to appear in front of his guests. Yes, this is the only reason he’s worried about you.

“I know I said I wouldn’t come back until later, but it just didn’t, it didn’t go well…”

He doesn’t care that you’re upset, no, not at all. How could he? You’re an employee; then again, he can’t have someone he’s hired be so upset, especially when living in his home. Yes, that’s it, that’s why he invites you up to his study. There’s no other reason for him to spend time with you like this.

Your boss gulps as he walks past your room, having been inside it mere moments ago. He tries to shake off the feeling he got when staring at your pretty panties, but it zips back inside him the moment he eyes your now closed door. Shivering slightly at the thought, he shakes his head, opening the door to his study for you. With the gesture of his hand he motions you through, and when you step inside, you immediately move to sit where you had just the other night.

“No,” He says quietly to you, shaking his head as he sits behind his desk. Another motion of his hand, extending it outward. He’s gesturing to the seat in front of him, the one on the other side of his desk. “Please.”

He notices that the small yellow cardigan you wore out is now buttoned almost to the top. It’s pulled up on both shoulders, too. You’re curling in on yourself, even though you try not to. It almost makes him wince, seeing you like this. You’re usually so lively and kind, so imaginative and helpful.

Nico clears his throat quietly, folding his hands in his lap as he starts out with, “Is there anything I can do?” It comes out more tender than he intended. Maybe he does care for you.

You just shake your head, staring down at your nails, picking at them. “I just don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely here.”

This shocks him. “Lonely?”

Without raising your head, you nod, pouting slightly. “Daniel was such a nice friend to have, I don’t have any besides him. Not here.” Lifting your shoulders slightly, they then sag as you exhale a sigh. “And now that’s ruined. I have to start all over again.”

Nico is incredibly confused.

“I don’t know anyone in this city, besides you.” Shrugging, you take another deep breath. “And obviously we’re not friends.” You then release a brief, almost fake laugh. “You’re just my boss.”

The longer you talk, the sadder he gets, especially upon hearing that last little bit. Just her boss. He’s just your boss. But isn’t that what he’s been saying all along? You’re just the maid? He’s just your boss? But if that’s the case, and he’s accepted it, why does it hurt so bad coming from your lips?

“I just wanted a friend, someone to share my time with. And he… he tried to kiss me. I wasn’t ready for that, I didn’t want that.”

Ah, now he’s starting to see. He’s also starting to see some things non-metaphorically, your jewelry, for example. While you speak, his eyes roam your frame, taking your appearance in. There’s a dainty necklace hanging on a chain around your neck, a few earrings in your ears, a couple rings on your fingers. They sparkle, and now that he’s seeing you dressed like this in privacy, he feels his opinion changing. He doesn’t want you to cover up; he finds himself wanting to see more.

All too quickly, he’s shaken out of his thoughts. Not by you, but by himself. You’re here confiding in him, and all he can think about is your appearance? You’re so much more than that.

“I’m honestly just over it, the whole dating thing. It’s the same thing over and over again. I’ve been wanting to get away from the whole romantic scene, and the first guy I talk to outside of my hometown immediately wants to be romantic. Can you believe that?”

He can.

The longer you talk, the more you open up, and Nico’s seeing a side of you he hasn’t experienced before. You seem truly vulnerable, showing your emotions much more than usual. And that makes him happy, not seeing you sad but seeing you open. Maybe you’re starting to trust him, if you don’t already.

After so long, Nico lights a cigarette, asking if you want one.

“Oh no, I don’t smoke.”

“Do you mind that I do, little one?” He asks, his lips mumbling around the cigarette as he lights it.

You smile; strangely, you like the look of it. You shake your head. “No.”

Changing the topic, Nico finds himself wanting to know more about you. He also wants to create some distance between you and Daniel. Strong distaste has formed in his stomach over that young man; he doesn’t want you hovering on the details tonight only to make yourself more upset.

“What is it that you study? Or plan to?” He then asks after inhaling, the smoke billowing from his puckered mouth.

“Literature.” You answer proudly, happily, and it makes him grin. He likes this. Maybe he can give you his copy of Ode to a Nightingale instead.

“And hopefully music, too. Though, I can’t really play any instruments. At least, not as beautifully as you.”

Amidst your chatter, a compliment slips from your lips. In all honesty, you don’t even realize it; but Nico does. It makes him smile, makes him admire you. But he stays quiet, allowing you to continue on. You’re so passionate about this; he finds himself regretting not asking you about it before.

With a deep breath, he watches you speak, eyes now roaming your face, your features. He notices your shade of blush, how feminine your eyelashes look. Small strands of hair hang around your face, even more so when you look down at your fidgeting hands. He finds this cute, along with the heart-shaped earrings you have on your first piercings. They’re all meaningless things, intricate details that shouldn’t matter, that don’t matter. But regardless of how much he tells himself this, he can’t seem to take his focus away from you.

“You flatter me.” He says, finally contributing to your conversation. You’d complimented him again, a flustered look coming over your features when you admitted your admiration for his intellect. Nobody without a background as impressive as yours could play the way that you do.

“It’s true,” You shrug again, glancing down but now smiling. “It’s why I listen. But I shouldn’t, I know that.” And then your eyes dart up, looking directly at him. “And I’m sorry for that.”

Easily, he dismisses this. “If music is what you intend to study, then I encourage you to listen.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” Taking another puff, he shrugs gently. ��Would you like to sit in on a class?”

“Oh no,” You huff out a nervous laugh. “I don’t think I could ever. I, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Again, Nico shrugs. “Sit, observe, do what you normally do. Only this time in my presence.”

And then he winks, something so small you shouldn’t even notice. But you do, and it sends a shock wave up your spine. For some reason, your face begins to run hot, a timid smile forming on your lips.

“Maybe.”

Going to bed that night is easy for you. Nico missed two hours of his own party, but he didn’t mind. Not a single bit. He was overjoyed to help you relax, putting you at ease. He’s not just your boss, he can be your friend, too.

Chapter Three: Intrigued

#Birds of a Feather #Birds of a Feather series #BoaF #BoaF series #Nico #House Comes with a Bird #Nico x you #Nico x reader #Nico x female reader #Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character

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okeydrama · 3 years ago

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every drama i’ve seen so far pt.3

record of youth

4/5

so beautiful & aesthetically pleasing

very lighthearted, like a slice of life more than a melodrama

Park Bo Gum <3

both male leads are super cute, I liked how they were both just nice

subverts a lot of traditional drama tropes, it didn’t feel as predictable as other dramas

there was a lot of cute scenes between the leads that made the romance very believable

it was easy to watch until the end, I didn’t really lose interest very often

the leads and most of the side characters were very flushed out in their motivations, dreams and purposes

it’s just so cute

I took a star off because of a few unnecessary scenes, plots and twists but they were not that bad

weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo

5/5

wow wow wow

this is one of the most iconic dramas i’ve ever seen

this is a friends to lovers drama which is not something we see often

the leads have so much chemistry and it makes sense that they dated in real life

the female lead is not traditionally feminine and it is so refreshing

the male lead is also not traditionally masculine and it makes him really likeable

the drama itself is hilarious and has many quotable sayings

the characters in this drama also have really flushed out motivations

the found family is iconic

the pacing of this drama was well done

the love triangle was interesting because you don’t necessarily root for her with the second lead but it is realistic portrayal of a teen girl’s coming of age

i just loved all aspects of this drama

true beauty

5/5

another one of my FAV dramas of all time

i was very hesitant about this drama because of the premise and not absolutely loving the webtoon but i gave it a chance and i absolutely don’t regret it

the pacing, energy, tone and aesthetics of this drama were not only consistent but were SO incredible

i had heavy second lead syndrome the entire time but unlike usual, i still loved the main lead and was fully invested in both leads scenes with the female lead

besides the main leads, the side characters were just as incredible

the secondary romance with the female lead’s sister was so cute!!! i genuinely watch an entire drama of just their romance

the female lead’s brother’s romance was engaging as well

unexpectedly, i cried because of this drama which, trust me, i never do and it was because of the incredible representation of mother daughter relationships

the message of this drama was misrepresented in my opinion and is much better than its portrayal

my only complaints are that the horror comic aspect of this drama should have been played up and that the bullying and addressing of bullying could have been touched on more or at least better

love alarm S2

2/5

this was very much a waste of my time

i think i’ve outgrown this story honestly because i was not at all invested in this season

basically, i love that she didn’t end up with the first season’s main lead, i think the person she ended up with was more suited to her and will treat her better

i also liked the maturity of this season compared to the last

the last thing liked was the sweetness of the romance

that being said, this is was mind bogglingly boring to me

the side plots and messages were unnecessary and took up too much airtime

the romance was also unnecessarily drawn out

the tone of this season was completely different than the last and it was a negative change in my opinion

the slow pace, drama and characters were not engaging

this was extremely dramatic and whimsical and it didn’t work for me in this story

yeah... just generally not a fav

reply 1988

5/5

THIS IS IT THIS IS IT THIS IS IT

i have never ever seen anything like this

this is the perfect show, like absolutely perfect

the depictions of familial, platonic and romantic relationships was PERFECT

the nostalgic vibe of this setting was incredible

the settings, wardrobes, objects and events were so well done

never has a show so perfectly invested me in every single character’s story while having so many characters

when i tell you i watched this entire thing in 2 days despite its length, i am not joking

i could not look away or think about anything else for the entirety of watching it and for a week after

there is an element of mystery with who the female lead ands up with and i was personally VERY happy with the result

another drama that i cried watching MULTIPLE times

the representation of different families, romances and personalities was incredible

there were so many scenes that were placed in that were not related to the plot and that was perfect because it was like we were watching their daily lives and interactions and made the watcher love the characters so much more

it is such a sweet, low stakes watch and such a slice of life story

some of my favorite plots: the father daughter relationship, the single-father son relationship, the single-mother son relationship, the protest storyline, the smart-mean-girl nice-good-boy love story, the moments over time create love, the first crush story, the working-mom son relationship, the found family group, the not knowing what the future holds and SO MANY MORE

reply 1997

5/5

i obviously had to watch another show in the reply series

i also LOVED this one

this was more focused on just the kids in the families rather than the families as a whole

the romances were so cute in this drama, and there were more romantic scenes compared to 1988, which i loved

the stan culture depiction in this drama was so interesting and fun to watch

i can’t express how much i loved that she was a kpop stan like it was so entertaining

this felt like a really good depiction of high school and how high schoolers are

i loved the vide of this drama too, the high school and concert setting were very immersive and comforting

the main lead’s romance was SO cute and i fully developed a crush on the male lead

it really felt like i was in 1997 Korea and it was so nice

the gay character representation!!!!! like this is HUGE for a kdrama and especially one set in 2012

I LOVED the female lead, she was so cool

the characters’ growths were so good and well done just wow

i will say that 1988 was better because of the elevation of the familial bonds and the general plot connections but the romances of this one were a lot more developed simply because there were so many scenes

they tried to do a mystery ‘who does the female lead end up with’ but it was very predictable compared to in 1988

hands down another favorite of mine

love in the moonlight

3.5/5

this was a hard one to rate

the romance for me is a 5/5 but the rating went down for a lot of reasons

firstly, i’m a huge fan of sageuk and this drama was a perfect one

Park Bo Gum <3

i think the leads ahead a lot of chemistry

i loved the side characters a lot, and especially the female lead’s friendships with them

the settings and aesthetics were A1

the banter was great

the plot was great and believable

the reason i had to lower my rating comes down to few minor issues that compiled so much that it hindered my enjoyment

the first issue i had is that here were SO many third act conflicts like waaaayy too many

the characters got together way too early so you can tell the writers created a bunch of issues to keep them apart and it could have been avoided if they hadn’t done that

the plot started imposing too much on the main storyline towards the end and i didn’t love that

the second lead was good compared to how they’re usually written so it was extremely bothersome that the love triangle wasn’t made believable, not once did i believe the female lead had any romantic feelings toward him

just generally the individual aspects of this drama were very good but when combined it was all over the place and not cohesive

anyway that’s the update, if anyone has any recommendations for me, please let me know. thanks for reading!

#kdrama #kdrama edit #kdrama recommendations #netflix #korean drama #record of youth #weightlifting fairy kim bok joo #true beauty #love alarm #love alarm 2 #reply 1988 #reply 1997 #love in the moonlight

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wolvesandpetals · 3 years ago

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Loki x Sylvie Post-Finale Fanfiction (Angst, Rated Teen) Part 2 of 2

Part 1 is here:

She never knew it would hurt this much when the person she loves is right in front of her, but she can't reach out and touch him; when she is still her, he is still him, but everything else has changed, like an invisible lever in an old theatre changing the scenery in the background, bringing them both to the part of the play where they are hopelessly lost.

[[MORE]]

All it took was one single moment, one single decision, and everything feels irrevocably broken now. It makes her contemplate on the true nature of relationships, how fragile they are, and how easy it is to shatter them- and her.

The smoke is slowly clearing, and all that seems to be left is a man who is doing his best to keep his distance from her, physically and emotionally.

She can tell from the way he stands with his arms crossed, or his fists clenced when his hands are by his side, that he really doesn't want to hold her hand. How can something so simple as the touch of his fingers be so vital to her existence that it feels like something has been ripped out from inside her?

She wants to reach out and touch him, but she is scared that if he pulls away outright, any hope of reconciliation that she still has left will shatter into pieces.

And she really needs this hope. It's the only thing she still has left. It's the only thing that keeps her going.

---

He looks like a man with a mission.

They spent quite a long time together, running from the TVA, running towards the citadel at the end of time, hoping to achieve their goal of bringing down the one behind the curtains.

But that was her mission, and he was there for her. She was the one behind the wheels, he was the one keeping the sails afloat.

Now it's different. Now he has a defined goal, a glorious purpose.

She's seeing him in a whole new light now, and not just because he has switched to Asgardian leather and metal armors.

As far as she is concerned, she is better off doing it all alone. One woman army, nobody to get in her way, nobody to screw up her plans. Nobody to blame her if it all goes to shit.

Or so it was, until two months ago, when Mobius decided to enlist her help in fixing the multiversal madness.

She has never really worked with people before, and it's weird, to say the least. She never considered herself a team player, but she is finding herself hating the idea less and less lately.

And she swears it has nothing to do with him. Not the fact that they are working together, and seeing his face first thing in the morning brings her a sense of calm that she quite can't explain. Or the fact that their rooms are next to each other and it makes her feel secure enough to finally get some rest at nights. Or that this whole arrangement has kept them on talking terms, when they had gone their own separate ways otherwise.

Nothing to do with that at all.

---

Humans are stupid, and the biggest evidence of this is how they decided that two extremely powerful Gods skilled at magic, enchantment, and defeating an evil extra dimensional cloud that swallows everything it touches, should be delegated to the role of research. "You're clever. You're good at reading people. You can put yourselves in the shoes of the bad guys, no offense", they said, but really, what they meant was, "We can't trust you out in the field much." She knows it, he knows it. She just doesn't know why he's complying.

That's how they find themselves researching every single day.

She likes to think he's not the only reason why she's studying in the library instead of in the comfort of her room, but that'd be a lie.

At first, he chooses to sit at a separate table. But she keeps going over to his to "get his opinion" on something in the file she's reading, and finally, he gives in. Their current arrangement consists of him sitting in the chair in front of her, to the left, prim and proper, while she hoists her feet up on the table.

He falls asleep on the desk one night, face smacked against a file, the tiniest bit of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. It would be a hilarious sight, if her heart wasn't feeling what she can only describe as longing.

They should probably talk about it, like mature adults, but neither of them know how to do that.

All she can do right now is gather the courage to run her fingers through his hair. The touch is hesitant at first, as if one wrong move would make him wake up and push her back to square one. Slowly, she relaxes, letting her fingers dance on his scalp.

He stirs in his sleep. "Please Sif. I'm sorry. Don't cut off my glorious locks, please."

Now this is a story she must hear when things are better.

If things are better.

---

Doctor Strange joins them very briefly, very rarely, but the tension between him and Loki is hard to miss. It's worse than the current situation with her, and that's saying something.

"You don't really like Stephen, do you?"

Something inside him seems to shift, but he masks it behind a non-chalant look immediately and just arches an eyebrow at her. "He's Stephen now, is he?"

"Well, that is his name." She shrugs. "What do you call him?"

"Strange", he spits the word out with an amount of irritation that indicates there definitely is a story there. "That is his name", he mimics.

She can't help the smirk that spreads across her lips. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing", he lies, ignoring the horrifying flashbacks of thirty minutes of endless falling. Not a single soul must ever know a mere human got the best of him. "What can he do to me? I'm a God among those mortals. He just irks me because he is so pompous, and arrogant, and he ceaselessly uses magic to toy with others."

She pretends to think deeply. "Now where have I seen that before?"

He scoffs. "You mock me, but I am nothing like him. For one, I am not rude."

"He seems fine to me", she declares decisively.

It's the first time in months that he gives her a cheeky grin. "That's because you're rude too."

---

They are still just containing the threats to their world, instead of finding a way to fortify the barriers between worlds and stop the threats from coming.

"Shouldn't we have a plan to seal off the other worlds from ours?" She asks him one day.

"They are working on it." He tells her, and then with a look of worry, adds, "I hope."

There are debates on what to do at the Avengers tower and at the TVA. Nobody seems to agree on what the best course of action is, but everyone seems to be following the general instructions of Doctor Strange.

During one such meeting, a Minuteman makes the mistake of voicing out loud how she wondered if things would be better if they were running according to their old boss's plans.

Sylvie feels the guilt wash over her once more.

"No", Loki tells them all firmly. The determination in his voice takes her completely by surprise. "Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary. The definition’s blurred." She catches him steal a glance at her direction. "We couldn't have left a dictator in charge just because it's convenient. Listen, I'm the bad guy. I've done horrible, unspeakable things. I thought humans needed to be ruled. I wanted to rule. But even I know that it's not right to take away a person's life completely. These are innocent people. You are innocent people. You have families back home, parents, children", a pause and a softening of his features, "-love. A whole past, a whole future. That man had no right to take it away from you."

His powers of persuasion are foreign to her, and it's mesmerizing to watch. Her enchantments cannot hold a candle to how he is able to just talk people into doing what he wants, thinking what he thinks, seeing what he sees.

"He who remains had a plan. One, singular plan, from one, singular man." There is absolute conviction in his voice. "It's not the only way. We'll find another way. A better way."

She has never known what it is like to have someone see you for who you are- broken and flawed, and defend you- even your well-intentioned actions that yielded different results than what you expected and hurt them in the process. She suspects it has been the same for him, a lifetime of not having anyone have his back.

The warm feeling inside her is brand new. What is the name of this? Comfort? Relief?

Happiness?

---

This will be their first time out in the field in a long time, and she feels a little sick to the stomach.

He notices. "Are you alright?"

The concern in his voice tugs at her heartstrings. She nods. She has faced way worse, she shouldn't be so nervous about this, but she is. "I've never done this before."

"We can always just kill him and blame it on the Chitauris", he suggests with a serious face.

"I heard that", Peter yells from the other room, where he is doing whatever it is that teenagers do to prepare for battle.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're babysitting."

"I've done this before", he assures her, and it surprises her to picture him being entrusted with such a serious task. "The trick is to conjure up illusions that keep them distracted enough to not cry."

She laughs. "You're thinking of infants. This one is a little older."

"I'm over a thousand years old, Sylvie. They're all infants to me."

Peter joins them, mask covering his face so that he doesn't reveal his identity. "So what do I call you? Loki and Loki? That's confusing. How about Loki and Lady Loki? Or is that offensive? I'm not suggesting women are inferior, because they're absolutely not..."

"Does he come with an off switch?" She whispers in horror as Peter rambles on.

Loki grins. With one wave of his hand and a flash of green, Peter's own webbing shoots out and seals his mouth shut.

---

Things are fine but not fine at the same time. He's right there beside her, but not there at all. They have their banters, they have their stolen glances, but they haven't had a meaningful conversation since that first day when she got back. She's been putting it off for a long time, but she knows they really do need to have the talk.

She corners him in his room one evening while he's tinkering with a temporal collar. She takes a seat in the chair next to his bed and rests her hand on the table, leaning her head against her palm, before switching position and crossing her arms and legs. Everything about her posture screams uneasiness. If he notices- he probably does- he doesn't say anything.

"You defended me that day."

He briefly looks up from the task at hand and gives her a soft smile. "Of course."

She blinks. "I don't understand." Her hands involuntary rise up to rub her temples. "If you can justify my actions to them, then how can you still be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you", he says without missing a beat.

"Rubbish", her words come out angrier than she intended. This frustration is the result of the months of status quo they have had. She has to know now, one way or the other. "You're distant. You're guarded", she accuses. Then her voice breaks, as she feels a part of her break all over again with her next words. "You don't hold my hand. Why? Tell me."

He abandons the collar and focuses his full attention on her. Staring straight into her eyes, he answers her. "You know why."

"I wouldn't be asking if I did. Look, if it's because I chose the mission over you-"

"-Of course it's not that." He says decisively. Then a sad smile clouds his face. It's the same look he had when she accused him of conning her to gain the throne. "Do you think I'm the type of man who would want a woman to abandon her life-long ambitions just because she has met someone?"

She knows he isn't. But it still doesn't answer why he is so cross with her. "What is it then?"

He pauses for a moment, trying to decide whether he wants to bare his soul out to her once more or not. There are two ways he can go from here- choose to not let her in again and save himself from the hurt, or trust her again and open himself up to potential pain.

Who is he kidding? Pushing her away- keeping her away- doesn't hurt any less.

There were a thousand things that had to go wrong to bring two Lokis from two universes together. A connection like that, it doesn't just happen.

And it doesn't just go away. The pain is constant, it's a part of him, pounding like a second heart every second he has to stop himself from reaching out for her hand.

This has to come to an end.

He takes in a deep breath, bracing himself. "You didn't have to send me away, Sylvie. I wanted to stop you from making the same mistakes I did. But in the end, I didn't care what you chose. I just wanted us to do it together."

She never even imagined this could be the reason for his hurt. All these months spent thinking he hates her for her choices, and now it turns out he is hurt simply because she chose to do it alone? "I'm sorry." She says sincerely. "I just wanted you to be safe."

"And I just wanted to be there with you till the end." He confesses. His eyes shimmer with the emotions he has kept bottled in for so long. "You go, I go."

She doesn't know what to say to that. She has never been good at articulating her feelings. Tears stream down her cheeks at the realisation that even after everything, he is still there for her.

She didn't cry even back at Lamentis when they thought they were going to die. She doesn't let anyone see her cry when she is sad or scared. That's all she has known her whole life. She's used to it by now.

This is new. These are tears of relief. Comfort.

Happiness.

Tentatively, she crosses over to the bed and sits by his side.

It's quiet for a few minutes. But unlike the months of tension so thick she could cut it into splices with her daggers, this is comfortable silence. The kind they had before it all went wrong.

"Did you even miss me?" He whispers.

"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I did." Her shaking hands grab his, and oh how she missed this.

He intertwines their fingers. His eyes draw closed. Bliss. That's the only word for this feeling.

He opens his eyes again and studies her. She's staring back at him, teary-eyed, but with a hopeful smile. "Really? Because you have a really unique way of showing it. You didn't even come looking for me."

"I didn't know how to face you", she tells him honestly. No tricks, no enchantment, no treachery. Not with him. "I didn't know if you even wanted to see me." Her voice grows quieter, dropping to a timbre that perfectly encapsulates her deepest fear. "I thought you hated me."

"Hate you?" He is shocked that she thinks that is even possible, specially after seeing him these last few months. "Sylvie, I'm working with the Avengers. The Avengers. Do you know how much I hate them? They are my nemesis. They're self-righteous, condescending, and so completely dull. Every second with them makes me want to rip their hearts out. Why do you think I'm here with them?"

She thinks she knows. But she needs to hear it anyway.

"It's because of you." He lays it all out on the table. All cards on deck, win or lose. "You've been running away. I have been the one who has been here, trying to hold down the fort, working to fix everything. Because that is what one does when one loves-"

Shit. The word slips out before he realises it.

Their eyes go wide in unison.

"Sylvie, I-"

"-Don't you dare take it back now." She warns him. "I-" She doesn't know how to say it either. They make such a great pair, both equally daft at saying how they feel, like they are teenagers, not Gods who have lived for centuries. "I've been running because I didn't think I could bear the burden of knowing I found you and then I lost you. I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever."

He kisses the back of her hand, before letting it go. He cups her face, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't want to lose you either."

She leans in closer, until their foreheads touch. She can feel his breath on her face, warm and soft. That is exactly how she feels inside. "You won't", she promises. "You go, I go."

---

(Quote on Lesser Evil from The Witcher. Thanks for reading!!)

#fanfiction #fanfic #loki #loki disney+#loki x sylvie #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #sylvie x loki #pro sylki

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ganymedesclock · 4 years ago

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Why do you think Ghost willing to kill the Maggots and the Menderbug? It really doesn't align with how I see them and it kind of bothers me.

When Ghost encounters the Hunter, he asks if they are like him, and feel the urge “to kill, to stalk, to understand.” Similarly, Nailmaster Sheo, when he teaches Ghost his technique, comments that swordsmanship and art are not so different. “We cut into the world to peer deeper inside.”

Ghost can attack harmless maskflies and aluba, the maggots, and the menderbug. The menderbug is not required for the completion of the hunter’s journal, but the others are, so the game expects you to try killing most things around you at least once.

Both the maggots and menderbug also call you to think about your actions. I think, anon, the reason why these actions bother you is it’s clear the game both expects you to do it, and expects you to have an unclear conscience afterwards. We kill the maggots before accessing the Failed Champion, who is failed precisely because Ghost killed his brethren.

But as there’s no one else who names him ‘Failed Champion’ this more sympathetic shift from the accusatory ‘False Knight’ suggests that Ghost, when they realize what they’ve done, has changed their opinion. After all, they understand what it means to feel the strongest, but also, left alone, of your siblings- the one who has to carry forwards for the others. This literally haunts them in the Abyss to the tune of two masks of damage.

So, why, you say, do they kill the maggots in the first place? Why does canon imply this is the choice they take, as it’s the one tied to an achievement (the Hunter’s Mark) while sparing the maggots is not?

Ghost is curious. That is perhaps a delicate way to put it- Ghost is driven to understand. It is several times implied that there is a thread of anger that runs through Ghost- that they grapple with rage and a desire to prove themselves. To the Mantis Lords, to the Hunter, to the Colosseum. If they are challenged by someone in a way they deem serious they tend to answer that challenge, brandishing the nail, the one thing that is ‘truly theirs’ at the beginning of the game and the thing they refuse to discard or separate from at any moment, even when it is broken and better weapons are available.

And this is my read- why should they not, as an individual who faced formative trauma at a very young age? As someone who felt their survival was senseless- their sibling being taken, other siblings perishing all around them- why did they survive? They have no good answer. They were explicitly not chosen. Discarded.

I think that Ghost is someone who is in fact prone to tearing at the world, sometimes calmly, but other times with intense aggression- WHY AM I HERE? Why is anything what it is? They need answers! They need others to heed their presence! It’s tempered by the fact that they are an experienced explorer, they are used to being alone. They are not quite like Zote, who is needy in such a way that leaks into every single interaction- when Ghost is so illegible, and so self-determined, they can kind of ignore most people who don’t meaningfully stop them, or choose to listen in the hopes of answers.

The other thing is that it takes time and patience and effort to understand and process not wanting to hurt others. This isn’t a problem a lot of people run into because in general, the period while we’re learning how to not hurt other people, is also a period where we are kind of impotent. As someone whose day job is working with kids, I’ll say this: babies rip each other’s hair out and pinch and claw at each other. They are horrifyingly cruel to each other purely because they don’t understand.

There is no inherent understanding of kindness and gentleness. There are few situations you can be effectively merciful in a context where it is never modeled to you, where you struggle to understand.

For Ghost, being kind- instead of simply being patient or tolerant- is a skill they are learning, slowly. Comparatively, striking an enemy down is something they are extremely good at. Being lethal is something they understand. Keenly. Efficiently. It is a point their disability is of no consequence.

As a result I think in many situations- the maggots, the menderbug, the nailsmith- there are points in which it is very easy for Ghost to strike something down, it seems easy and intuitive and they put up very little fight- and it is only after the body stops moving that we, as the player, are led to what Ghost feels- approaching on quiet feet, thinking, that’s dead. I did that.

.....Should I have done that?

I think a lot of the fandom wants Ghost to be in a better situation than they were. We can pick up that Ghost was unloved, was isolated, has spent an uncertain but quite possibly long time wandering through the twilit and forlorn wastelands beyond Hallownest. If they found other places, and other people, those other people noticeably did not leave much of a mark on Ghost, so that suggests they spent most of this time alone.

The reality is, while I think it is a noble goal to want Ghost to be able to be happy with others, that has to be tempered with the pragmatic awareness that who Ghost is now, is shaped by those things, for better and for worse, and not just in ways that mean they are sad. They are also confident, and self-sufficient, a warrior who sometimes lacks remorse and sometimes experiences it but too late.

In particular, with the menderbug, it’s an exciting insight into a mystery of the kingdom- why do the signposts repair themselves? and we see a new entity we haven’t before. We WANT TO INTERACT WITH THAT. So we run after, but we’re not fast enough, they fly away too quickly. What can we use to slow them down? We can stop them. We can stop them very well.

And, then we did. And we break them, and open their house, and read their diary, and it’s like...... oh. oh no. We just killed someone. We wanted to talk to them. We wanted them to stop. They didn’t stop and talk to us.

Ghost wanted to understand. They grabbed a familiar tool, and then afterwards wondered if there was some other, more esoteric to them thing they should have tried to wield instead. But they for the most part don’t have those tools. Why is the delicate flower so important to them? Because Ze’mer, in her own grief, taught them how to express grief and love/pity(?) to other people. They struggle with the ability to do that. Most of their social skills requires other people to stop and initiate. Several times, it’s ‘canon’ or clearly asserted cinematically that we see someone running ahead of us (Hornet, Nosk) and Ghost chases after them desperately trying to reach a point that other entity will talk.

Ghost’s tragedy is very overt to the audience, but, also, it’s left some complex facets running through their personality that are not just, sad. They’re a complicated person and being a silent protagonist doesn’t make them uncomplicated.

#Hollow Knight #readmore #Ghost is like... hypercompetent wayfarer battle tweenager #and ethics are complicated #and sometimes they do something and are like 'oh! that was a moral bad'#'hmm'#and there's nothing to do but stand there and stare at the body a little #Anonymous

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tsu9live · 3 years ago

Text

Before I start, this is in no offence to anyone else’s opinion. You are all valid and probably make more sense than me. This is a bit of a rant and then a short character study.

Warning: This got too long.

I tend to come online for manga updates and ended up reading through opinion posts because I am a curious cat. Most of the time I come across really well-thought out posts, really valid points. But then MHA is also a soap opera/family drama where the main character is not supposed to have any progress in his story unless its to bolster or move along the other favs . But then they shouldn’t be bolstering his story either because why is a story about Deku’s journey all about Deku?

But then there are people who are happy Deku is finally edgy and they want him to wipe the floor with his classmates who love him and are willing to fight him if only to get through to him. So there are both extremes and honestly there is validity in all these thoughts because despite the writer’s intentions, a reader brings the story to life.

I personally hate making my own predictions because most of the time I feel it ruins the experience of reading a work for me. I go in with different expectations and when the story goes a different way I don’t enjoy it as much but I feel its more my fault.

So I do understand and respect the difference of opinion because there is no fandom without discourse.

In my opinion though, this Deku solo arc was a long time coming and I think Horikoshi has handled it really weird. I’m still trying to understand what he wants us to think about.

A story about heroes and putting your life on the line for someone else is controversial, but, I thought it was a given. Recklessness had been part of Deku’s character but an overly-cautious character would do nothing. Deku’s lack of self-preservation wasn’t unnatural for a hero, he rushed in to save Bakugo from the slime-villain when Pros stood by putting himself at risk but it spurred AM to act. Katsuki experienced it as well during the war arc, when his body moved to save Deku.

Going to Kamino to save Bakugo was suicidal, reckless and potentially flawed but story-wise it made sense. How is hero-work anything than risky? Kirishima and Todoroki initiated it.

Disclaimer: Deku, Bakugo, Uraraka, Momo, Toga and Shigaraki are characters that are very dear to me because they have had me extremely invested since the beginning of the story. This is my personal opinion, flaws, rant... basically me working through my feelings about this manga I had been obsessed with recently.

1) There is an opinion where Bakugo had a right to be upset/angry/bully Deku because he wanted to be a hero but did nothing for it. Firstly, I don’t understand the need to justify his behaviour when he himself has expressed regret on it. People want others to move on from the “go jump off the roof comment” but won’t stop talking about how everything about Bully Bakugo was justified. Deku was weaker, but he had the same dreams, dreams that were the basis of their friendship earlier on. Regardless of how Deku wanted to achieve them, Bakugo had no right to keep trying to stop him from doing so. No, 5, 10, 14 year old Bakugo did not do so because he had the brilliant foresight that Deku would be self-sacrificial and it was for his sake, he was an angry kid and Deku was a timid, wannabe that confused him, intimidated him even. Taking out his anger was a way of working through those feelings. He was in Deku’s words “a punching bag”. In a world where the powerful reign, Bakugo couldn’t understand how a quirk less, weak little boy could think he could stand shoulder to shoulder with someone as gifted as Bakugo. Yeah, society is very much to blame. The change and maturity Bakugo goes through where he is humbled by a cast of amazing hero students who are just as gifted yet with inspiring personalities and then traumatic consequences of being kidnapped, watching his hero use the last of his powers to hold back a great evil, having that fight with Deku where he bared himself open, failing the licensing exam, training with todoroki, the internship... the war has changed him in a way that has brought out his full potential as a hero and a person. There is a lot to admire about him yet I see so many people fixate on headcanons that glorify his every action/word instead of praising the amazing person he has become/how well written his growth has been.

2) “Deku wanted to be a hero and he did nothing for it”. “He could have been a quirkless hero like Batman.” Listen, the story is about AFO vs OFA first and foremost. Hori has done a good job of worldbuilding and adding a cast of interesting characters that its easy to forget what the main plot point of the story is. But it really is about a weak/timid boy who was born with a sort of handicap who dared to dream to be someone strong enough to have others rely on him instead. A lot of the times people want to become something they feel they needed, someone who gave people hope just by existing. Its natural for someone who is ‘considered useless’ to want to be the most useful person ever. His mother didn’t believe he could do it, Bakugo told him repeatedly he shouldn’t even try, everyone else made fun of him, and his hero gave him a wake-up call, no... you can’t be a hero without a quirk. Deku studied heroes and quirks all his life, hoping he’d find something that could work for his advantage. Not every hero relies on physical strength, their bodies are adapted to the nature of their quirks. Deku’s analysis, quick-thinking and impulsive nature is what helped him progress even after getting the quirk because he didn’t gain control until really late. People act like he was handed power, seem to forget he has just learned to use it without consequences. His studies of quirks also made him the best candidate to get new quirks, quirks that he has learned to utilise as tools quickly and efficiently. He was doing what he thought was going to help him become a hero without guidance, without backing and constant discouragements. Its admirable and relatable. If you don’t relate to him that’s fine, your life was different.

Batman was loaded. Deku is not an inventor. The Editors shot that idea down because it would not have survived in a genre where power fantasies are the main hooks. Aizawa, sure he’s training Shinso because he sees his potential now but he would have either expelled Deku/moved him to General studies on that first day for scoring the least in that test. He changed his mind not because of Deku’s quirk but because of Deku’s ingenuity.

When Deku did find his guidance, he tried to do years of work/training in a short period of time. He acknowledges how far behind he is, that the rest are leagues above him and all he wants is to be able to stand side by side with those incredible people and he would go to all lengths to do so. DEKU has never said he wants to be the number one hero. He always says he wants to be one so reliable he saves people with a smile and later on, he wants to be a hero that can save without having other people worry about him. Bakugo works hard, he’s not just exceptional he works hard for it, all of 1A do but saying Deku does nothing when he is constantly shown, studying, training his body, understanding his shortcomings and working on it is just petty. You don’t like him because of his saviour complex, newsflash, that is a hero thing. Hero course is about that, Deku’s is just highlighted because of how often he gets hurt. How can you be a Todoroki stan and hate Deku (although to be fair its your right, I’m just making a point), the kid saw Shouto and decided that it was more important for Shouto to stop hurting and gave him a hell of a fight. I still remember Shouto’s smile, it gave me goose bumps.

Deku’s lack of self-preservation is a part of his programming so much that he hasn’t noticed it yet. Deku broke his bones, but he didn’t realise the permanent damage. When Deku got injured with Muscular, he was never intending to fight him alone. He wanted backup, his phone was broken and he wanted to get Kouta out and tried but Muscular gave him no opening. He was driven into a corner and fought his way out. Like Aizawa said, “He got that injured because he has no intention of dying.” Before rushing to find Bakugo, he informed his superior first, knowing she can spread the message.

The fight with Stain, he messaged his location to all his classmates, didn’t intend to fight Stain alone, just defend Iida long enough for help to come along. Fight with overhaul, he just wanted to get Eri away and when he understood Eri’s power, he gave her the opportunity to fight back against her oppressor by teaming up with him, keeping her secure with the cape made out of Lemillion’s hair. During the whole fight he was present-minded enough to take the fight away from civilians and managed to prevent damage and casualties. During Natsuo’s rescue he played support.

During the war arc, he realised with despair that Shigaraki was coming in all his destructive glory for him and tried to stop him before but he didn’t object to Bakugo joining him. In the movie Heroes Rising (the initially planned ending) he willingly gave OFA to Bakugo, because he trusts him with his life, and was willing to be quirkless again if that’s what it took to keep the kids safe, and himself and Bakugo alive. Its mostly been good decisions on his part.

Its the war arc that’s been his downfall. Watching his childhood friend/rival almost die, his best friend, his mentors almost die while he could barely hold Shigaraki back set off a fight or flight response in him. The seriousness of how Shigaraki came for him and left such death and destruction in his wake because he was not strong enough and AFO is a monster and the sight of Shigaraki and the reality of his situation pushed him down the current path. His solo arc started well because constantly training in the field has helped him master his quirk, and he had the backup of the vestiges who trained and guided him in learning to use it as a toolset instead of a one-punch solution. Then coming face to face with the flaws of hero society and the power, manipulative nature and destructive intentions of AFO has prepared him emotionally. He is not acting like AM, he hasn’t in a while. He is acting like NANA and i don’t blame him because she’s in his head. No adult stopped him from doing this, instead using him as bait to lure out the league.

When they started realising he’s spiralling out of control, that’s when they realised they messed up.

He’s running on adrenaline/fumes alone and I think he’s actually terrified.

“AFO is OFA’s responsibility” “Tell the world I am here” “You’re not as strong as me yet,” “You are not a worthy successor”

Deku isn’t self-centered and but I agree with the screw loose comment (its years of “you are useless, not good enough, not worthy and I bet a dozen or so concussions, bloodloss, dehydration lol). I know Bakugo means well and that’s how he talks. At the moment, he’s probably the only one whose sole goal is Deku’s survival. Deku’s like a wild animal, terrified, lost and as always backed into a corner. AFO has him where he wants him and I am curious to see how class 1 A are going to get through to him. I don’t want them to fight, all those fanarts of Bakugo reaching his hand out to Deku and then maybe punching him in the face would have been a lot better then the mocking (the slow clap was a little triggering for me) but again maybe it just bothers me and Deku needs it. I’ll just have to wait and see. Deku and his class together would be an unstopabble force and I am waiting for that to finally happen.

P.S. Class 1 A looks so mature, everyone going crazy about Bakugo and his tie and I’m here like, look at baby Kirishima and his roots <3

I’m sorry if I gave anyone a headache lol.

#bnha spoilers #deku #personal rant #character study #midoriya izuku #bnha 319 #mha

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snowspryte15 · 4 years ago

Text

Thoughts on Cruella

Let me ask you a question:Have you noticed the increase in stories about making villains more relatable to us, and even giving them something that seemed to be lacking in all the fairytales we all know so well?

Something like humanity?

Here’s the thing: no one is truly born evil, and to quote a line from Once Upon A Time, “Evil isn’t born; it’s made.” Perhaps the baddies were actually good people who were capable of being happy, finding love, and living their best lives. But unfortunately, a chain of events or even people who wronged them would lead them down a dark path that is often very hard to come back from. In other words, the stories and characters we know isn’t always black and white. (See what I did there?) You can say whatever you want about making villains relatable or even showing sympathy to them, but I stand by my humble opinion that the updated version of the fairytales and stories we grew up not only gives us a glimpse into the heroes and making them more like us, but also the villains because their more than just the 2D stock characters we grew up with over the years. In other words, it gives everyone more DEPTH. The same is true for Cruella. I realize many of you are starting to (if you aren’t already) get tired of films making the villains more relatable or even giving us a villain to show sympathy for. And I get that. But let me ask you this: is the world we see today always black and white to you? Should it always has to be good vs. evil when there are layers underneath the goodness and the evil that’s in this world? Should we automatically assume that all of the bad things that happen on the news are caused by bad people? I think you know the answer to this: no. We’re all capable of being good people, no matter what society tells us. But the fact that we’re all born to be originals and not copies of another individual but being told that we have to be “perfect” or “thin” or “beautiful” or “handsome” or any of those labels is what draws people to the dark side, and that includes giving into power, greed, malice, and hatred. And here’s something else to think about - we’re always told by those around us, whether that’s our loved ones or complete strangers, to hide what makes us unique or even brilliant because it may not sit well with everyone. That’s another reason why some people go towards the dark side. And on another level, they use what makes them unique to stand out in not-so pleasant ways, instilling fear into others by what they say and do. Both cases aren’t right, not by a long shot. Now do you see why not everything is black and white? It’s hard to take the animated films we grew up and breathe new life into them while keeping these thoughts in mind. Especially if we were taught at an early age who’s good and who’s evil, and that the baddies aren’t deserving of our sympathy or even redemption. I don’t know who exactly started this tradition of taking the fairytales, animated classics, and other stories we all grew up with and add more dimension and humanity to each of the characters, including the villains. But I’m glad they did. It gives us something to think about and makes us see that we have a little bit of evil inside of us. I may be in the minority when I say this, but movies and shows like Once Upon A Time, Maleficent, Ever After High, Descendants, and Cruella fascinate me because it allows me the chance to see how capable the villains are to being good people and their external and internal struggles to keep the goodness in their lives while navigating through all of the bad things and people that come into their lives which sets a course towards their villainous nature.

At least take into consideration the hard work the authors, screenwriters, and creators put into formulating the question “what if...” and how much fun they have breathing new life into these characters we grew up with and how much of ourselves we can see in the villains, no matter how much we try to deny it. There, I said it. I may once again be in the minority when I say this (it seems to be a theme lately on Tumbr, which is quite sad), but I enjoyed Cruella immensely. The acting, the costume designs, the hair and makeup, the songs... It was just bloody brilliant. Both Emmas - Emma Stone and Emma Thompson - played their parts extremely well. Ms. Stone navigating through her internal battle to be a good person while facing a conflict with the bad side was a wonderful site to see. And Ms. Thompson, I mean, come on. She’s just fantastic all the way around. To play a narcissist isn’t easy, but she makes it look so simple and enjoyable. I commend both of their performances in this film. And let’s not forget the rest of the cast - Joel Fry, Paul Walter Hauser, Emily Beechan, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Mark Strong, Kayvan Novak, Jamie Demetriou, Andrew Leung, and John McCrea - such an outstanding ensemble! In the theatre, you know a show is fantastic because of its ensemble. The same applies in the movies as well. They may not get recognized as much as Emma Stone or Emma Thompson, but it was such a joy seeing these talented performers play their parts well, and the depth they played at was a joy to watch. Let’s talk about the costumes, hair, and makeup. This film better get awards for all of those areas (or at least nominations) because the designs and styles were truly epic. It’s hard to get the fashion of the times right without extensive research and a little bit of creativity and imagination thrown in for good measure. But Jenny Beavan and Nadia Stacey deserve all of the praise and accolades for rocking out the 1970s with boldness and some pretty wicked designs. I’ve noticed skimming on here the discontent many of you have for portraying Cruella as being a villain we should have sympathy for, especially since she wanted to skin Dalmatians for a coat. That alone should be cause for her to not be worth an ounce of sympathy, and I understand that. As an animal lover myself, I’m inclined to agree with you. But I’m going to let you in on one spoiler that I ask you take into consideration: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. I repeat: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. And here’s something else I want you to be on the lookout for should you decide to watch this film. During the end credits, there is a special message out there for those of you who are thinking about owning a dog: “Every dog deserves a loving home. If you’re ready for the commitment of pet ownership, please consider visiting your local animal rescue to find the right pet for you.” That message alone speaks as to how far we’ve come in society, and here’s why. Whenever we see movies or TV shows that feature dogs and cats, particularly puppies and kittens, we tend to rush out right away and getting them because they’re so adorable. But when they grow up, we tend to let them go and leave them in some unpleasant places. And organizations like PETA beseeched the film and the company to take a stand and use their voice to encourage adoption of pets in shelters and rescue centers and not pet stores. Apparently, the film and the company listened because they put this message during the end credits. Well done. I may not be able to convince you to go see this movie or give it another chance if you already saw it, nor should I try. But I do want you to take into consideration the amount of updated versions of the stories we all know and love, and how much the authors, screenwriters, and other creative types are bringing in humanity and depth to these characters. We’re not 2D characters like the heroes, heroines, and villains are often seen as in the original stories, so why should they be treated and seen as such for generations to come? We’re more complex and layered than seen in fairytales and animated movies. Also, I don’t think these stories where the authors give villains a chance to experience goodness before they became bad or even blurring the lines between good and evil are going away. It allows us as human beings to see and try understand that we’re all capable of being good, but it’s the events and people who come into our lives that shake things up and even brings questions of whether we’re truly good or evil that sets us down a path we alone can walk. And more importantly, it gives us as the audience a chance to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters, even if you don’t relate to the villains at all. I suggest you stop griping about the rise in updated versions of the films, TV series, and book series of the original classics and accept that they are here to stay. I’m not saying you should read or watch them if they’re not your cup of tea, but at least try to understand that things were NEVER always black and white, especially where fairytales, animated films, and even more stories are concerned. At least try to understand that part, okay? Is that too much to ask? I’m not here to change your mind. I realize I can’t do that. So many of you are so set in your ways and opinions, and all I can do is pray for you. But I am here to share with you my thoughts on Cruella and how the updated versions of these stories are here to stay, whether you like it or not. And I’m also here to try to help you see that these stories allow us to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters we grew up with, even if it’s through a new set of eyes. You are welcome to disagree with me, or even not say anything at all. But all I ask is that you be respectful of my opinions and what I have to say. I will not tolerate any hate speech or disrespectful language. You do that, and I will block you. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything. It’s that simple, and yet it’s so hard, especially on Tumblr. I hope I didn’t take up too much of your time.

#disney cruella #emma stone #emma thompson #jenny beavan #nadia stacey #what if #villains #brilliant #bad #a little bit mad #opinion #bekind #be respectful #costumes #hairandmakeup #101 dalmatians #dalmatian #something to think about

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autisticcassandracain · 4 years ago

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The original plan for the Mirage thing was for Kory to react reasonably and not blame Dick at all, and leading to their successful marriage. However, behind the scenes interference nixed that plan, and orders were given that Dick and Kory were to be broken up instead, leading to that whole mess

Do you happen to have a source on that? Not that I don't believe you because it would make a LOT of sense, it's just that if there's anything I've learned from being in the DC comics fandom it's that there's a lot of unsourced 'common knowledge' going around that's just plain wrong and I'd like to avoid falling for that. again. bc I've done it before (a lot. I am very gullible) and it's embarrassing.

But even if they had to break them up due to editorial demands I feel like they could've done that in way better and way more natural ways. Disclaimer that I don't like dickkory to begin with so my opinion may be biased, but there's way better angles you could've taken for a break up plot than the massacre of Kori's character that happened now.

I skimmed the break up plotline last night (I'm not finishing this comic because there's only so much bad writing my brain can handle, but I'd like to know the basics on what happens to Donna and Kori in it), and the thing that really got me is that they flirted with actual solid reasons for why Dick and Kori might be better off broken up but then consistently wrapped it in so much bad writing I can barely even give them credit for it. Instead of that weird contrived plotline with Mirage and Sexy Evil Raven that happened now, you could've simply had a B-plot of Dick and Kori's relationship slowly falling apart.

Their relationship was already quite rocky; while they clearly love each other very much, their personalities are quite different and that frequently leads to conflicts. We've seen that mostly with Dick lashing out at Kori when he has his own personal issues going on, and Kori blaming herself for it, and Kori wanting to be closer to Dick while Dick doesn't feel ready to make that kind of commitment. You could've easily extrapolated reasons to break up from these semi-frequent issues.

anyway this got long so there's an example of what you could do with this plotline under the cut

For example, we know that Dick always wears disguises when dating with Kori, and had to move out of her apartment to protect his identity. Kori values openness, and it wouldn't have been OOC for her to become unsatisfied with the secrecy surrounding their relationship. She likely wouldn't feel like she has the right to pressure Dick to out his secret identity (because she doesn't), and since there's no easy way around it otherwise, I can imagine it putting a strain on her.

You can couple this with the fact that Dick has attempted to restrict Kori in many ways; it's even directly acknowledged by Dick himself that he's tried to change Kori rather than taking her as she is, and that this was a mistake. (For the record, I don't think this would be impossible to work through, or that it means Dick doesn't love her, but we're talking break up plotline here.) By contrast, Kori has always tried her absolute best to be understanding and accommodating to Dick, and even though she is pushy sometimes, Dick has stated/implied this is something he actually appreciates. The break up plotline in canon already mentioned that Kori has always lived for others, and now wants to explore what she wants for herself. You can expand on this by having Kori become dissatisfied with the effort she puts into accommodating Dick vs. the seeming lack of effort he puts in.

The catalyst for this can absolutely be the Mirage plotline. The thing is, I don't think it's unreasonable or OOC for Kori to be upset about the fact that nobody noticed she was missing. It's not that anyone did anything wrong, but it's got to hurt, being tied up in a basement for days, only to finally break out and find out nobody noticed you were gone. Even with a reasonable Kori who recognizes that this isn't Dick's fault, I think it'd be completely understandable if she was still upset.

This could be interesting to explore because Kori, as a rule, lives by her emotions, but she's also spent enough time on Earth that she's learned the value of logical reasoning, and why you sometimes need to put your feelings second. In this case, logical reasoning says she shouldn't be upset, but emotionally, she still feels that way. This conflict could be a good catalyst for getting her to re-examine how exactly she wants to live, and how her relationships contribute to that. Particularly, she could take a closer look at her and Dick's relationship and come to the conclusion that while they clearly love each other, it's somewhat unbalanced, and might not actually be what she needs. The reason Kori has pushed through all this before is because she loves Dick, and that's all that matters to her, but with her taking a new look at the benefits of rationally examining your emotions, she might start doubting a little.

This could also tie back in to a line Donna said way back when Dick and Kori first got together that kind of lives in my head rent free but never got expanded upon. Namely, right after Dick and Kori get together, Dick's personal troubles start boiling over and he takes it out by being kind of a bitch to Kori. Donna and Kori have a conversation about this, and at some point (I forget the exact details), Kori says that she's in love with Dick, and Donna responds, "Are you sure you're not just in love with being in love?"

Like, again, dickkory hater bias here, but one of the reasons I was disappointed by the canon portrayal of dickkory was that it always felt like Dick was getting way more out of this relationship than Kori. In particular, I just. Genuinely have no idea what Kori likes about Dick. They've never established that. I can guess and extrapolate, but while Dick has stated repeatedly and explicitly that he loves Kori for the openness of her emotions, her passionate nature, and compassion, Kori. Hasn't done anything like that with Dick. Again, I don't think this would be impossible to work through, but again, break up plotline. In this case, Kori could think back to Donna's words, and realize she was at least partly right; that it's not necessarily Dick specifically that Kori loves, but more the sensation of being in love itself, which she could get with virtually anyone provided she fell for them.

All of this could be combined with Dick's new clinginess regarding Kori, which is canon. I don't know WHY his mental health was going downhill that fast bc I'm only here for Kori, but regardless, you could have Kori getting worried about how much Dick depends on her emotionally, just like she already did in canon.

All this, combined with her newfound worry that she might simply not be getting enough out of this relationship herself and her feeling increasingly restricted in it, puts stress on her. Kori is an emotional person, and the reason she's put up with all of Dick's shit so far was that she loves him, wholly and completely. But if she started thinking it might be a better idea to take a slightly more rational approach to this relationship, the way Earthlings usually do, I think her eventually reaching the conclusion that a break up would be healthier for both of them wouldn't be OOC.

Of course, this does kind of depend on your interpretation of Kori, and the arc you want her to have. Canon sent her in wildly the opposite direction, in which she got more in touch with her Tamaranian roots and decided to live by them fully, which I don't mind in theory, but it was just. SO badly written. I think this would be a much more logical progression of her character after staying on Earth for so long, particularly since she's already become more willing and able to take a deep breath and calm her emotions if necessary. I'm not saying you'll have to basically just give her Earth's values when it comes to emotions, absolutely not please don't do that, but for this particular plotline, I think it'd work.

Plus, if they wanted to, this also leaves a lot more room for a reversal of the decision. If editorial changed its mind, it would've been really easy to give Dick an arc of doing a bit of soul searching, proving he can stand on his own, and proving he can support Kori emotionally in this relationship, and Kori would likely be extremely happy to take him back because she really does love him to pieces. Again, maybe it's the dickkory bias, but I think it'd even be good for them, in the long term.

Of course, none of this fixes the fact that the Mirage plotline was a really shitty portrayal of sexual assault, but I feel like that's been discussed fairly well by fandom at this point (I mean, it's not mentioned that frequently, but it's well-discussed for a 30-year-old plotline and people seem to be aware of the problems with it), so I don't feel like I really have much to add to that discussion. By contrast, whenever this arc comes up, I rarely see people mentioning how OOC Kori was, and they even sometimes use it to bash her/dickkory in general, so I felt like it was worth discussing on that angle.

#koriand'r #dick grayson #my posts #asks #this is super long and super rambly and i feel like i repeat myself a lot in it so im sorry

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lesbiancarat · 3 years ago

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PREACH IT!! SAY IT LOUDER FOR TH3 PEOPLE IN THE BACK!! *stands up and claps*

Just your comment, please I want to tattoo that entire response on my forehead so people could understand some stuff fjshdhsh. I very much agree with everything you have said, like I do think the bighit deal was more so with the help of say with western connections (which again does NOT mean pledis could have done this without bighit. They clearly could but I saw a theory on a YouTube comment where someone said they focused on the core fanbase aka in Korea which is their main market and it paid off imo) from helping with buisness side of things like we do have merch to buy directly (which I have my opinion on some merch ideas like why the fudge is bighit selling us water!? Bro you thought that worked with bts doesn't mean it will with seventeen) which wasn't common in the past or being able to film concerts with ease during the pandemic. Bighit clearly acknowledges that seventeen is a monster group in their own right I mean as you said, they break records and are 2nd behind bighits own group. They are EXTEMELY big in Japan. They are their own song makers, bang pd confirmed this when pleids was first announced in a press video so the fact people brush all of their achievements and statements because why, their streaming numbers are low?

And oohh such an interesting point as well! Very much i think the current mindset of kpop fans (or at least some) is that streaming is what equals success which to some degree, yes but as you said, many ignore the casual side of listening. People that find the song due to it being viral for whatever reason, a fancam getting popular like in the cass of hani from exid or whatever reason. Dwc is a great example and I saw those comments under their recent performance of that song and it makes me proud that the boys have a song like that. That it has its own "fanbase" quote on quote with how well loved that song simply is and well known. You don't have to have fans doing crazy streaming to be considered "popular", I mean I could give more examples but I don't wanna make this too long nor cause unwanted fandrama lol. Those casual listeners are extremely important and powerful I mean brave girls is a great recent example of that I think! It very much does seem like that when looking at the views, its mainly the core fanbase which isn't bad nor should we feel bad for not having crazy numbers. They seem more organic if that makes sense? Plus I agree, we can stream and can explain how it works, clearing up confusion about it like no emojis don't take down views and yes youtube does take away views but that is due to it making sure it isn't bots only viewing the video. Explaining that streaming should be done with a chill mindset and its ok if you don't stream. But hey, maybe we're too weird of fans to think like this fjajdjajs.

But some few updates! Seventeen is back on Instagram, fully everyone is posting away. Makes me happy hehe m, a bit funny it took so long for them to comeback but am happy nonetheless. The interactions that seungkwan does makes me super soft. Seventeen are also back with doing proper promotions so yay (also pledis is S Wording people over the mingyu issue finally so bless). As for me on the personal side of things. I have OFFICIALLY finished that video game ^_^ it took me a while but I have finished it, my last goodbye was completed and am at ease so to speak? Lowkey am planning on beating all the trophies in the game cx also may I ask about your thoughts on the album? Favorite songs, have you bought the physical cd?

ok finally getting around to this lol!!

and yeah that's absolutely true, pledis focused on kr promotions/fanbase first and foremost (and then expanded to Japan and is now looking toward the US/western promos in general). which i agree was a good thing. i think some companies get too greedy with wanting a group to be ~internationally famous~ that they ignore their Korean fanbase a bit too much and I've seen groups that have failed bc of it, so I'm glad that didn't happen w SVT

and yeah in terms of merch I'm genuinely grateful as an american that for this cb at least there was a US distributor which made things super convenient but wtf is going on w hybes merch those water bottles are not it TT it just sucks to see bc it's clear that at least as far as merch goes hybe doesn't have an interest in like. doing market research to figure out what carats want. which is funny bc they don't even have to start from scratch they could literally just ask pledis?? and tbh what's sad is i don't think hybe is like. purposefully trying to sabotage SVTs merch from my limited perspective i get the feeling they treat all their groups merch like that :( but since us carats have seen in the past what kind of merch we're capable of getting it's disappointing to see such a downgrade. and like tbf pledis's merch decisions were never perfect like that time they tried to sell replicas of the SVT rings and carats were rightfully pissed bc those are something the members earned, not something to be bought. and i also don't think hybe never has or never will make good merch, I'm sure they're fully capable of it. but it just seems obvious that they've put WAY less if any effort into understanding both the market (ie carats) and seventeens brand compared to pledis so like of course most carats aren't gonna like it :/ i really hope they step up their game and do better research or bring ppl onto the team who better understand svt's brand

and yeah i very much agree with everything u said about streaming! tbh i think this mindset isn't as uncommon as you might think, I've actually met a fair number of kpop fans who are critical of streaming culture but as u know there also are a lot of ppl who are really into it and those ppl tend to have the loudest voices. and unfortunately part of streaming culture is that if you question the methods or don't participate you must be a bad fan or secretly an anti or something ridiculous like that. so ppl who aren't into streaming culture end up learning to not be too vocal about it bc of how bad the backlash can be

yes! I'm glad to see insta line (+ now dk!!) active again. i still wonder why pledis made them stop using their ind instas, like I know all the theories people have as to why but honestly none that I've seen seem to fully make sense. it will probably be one of those things where we'll just never know the full story. but i digress!! regardless of the reason I'm just glad to have them back after all this time ^^

congrats on finishing the game! I'm glad it was able to help you work through your grief a bit and that you feel more at ease now ;-; and good luck with the rest of the trophies if you end up trying to get them!

as always I'm answering this a bit late so you may have seen already but i did get the physical album! it was a birthday gift so i only got it the other day, but according to my mom it arrived almost immediately after the album was released so as i said before, I'm very grateful for the US shop this time around ;-; as for the songs usually it's easy for me to pick one or two favorites but this time around it's genuinely a 4-way tie between heavens cloud and all the unit songs TT (i also love anyone and RTL, they're just slightly lower on the list in terms of preference if u get what i mean). i really hope some time in the future we get some kind of performance or special video or something for heavens cloud, since so many carats and the members themselves seem to really love it. i also think it's a song that brings up such beautiful imagery that it would be a shame if it never got any type of visual representation, you know? I'm also really curious to see a performance of wave, since iirc the members said the choreo is a lot more laid back/different from other perf unit choreos?? + that song also evokes such great imagery for me that like... makes feel like it needs some kind of movement so I'm just itching to see a performance. kind of like... even if i didn't know it was a perf unit song i would think it would be great to choreograph to if that makes any sense dhfkf. but yeah overall i think it's just a really solid album, as expected from summerteen ^^

#melia.ask #📖 anon #long post

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Godddddd I'm so upset that I dislike yen this much, doing main quests in skellige and Freyas ppl were doing stuff and she again disrespected other cultures with Geraly being against, "I may be inhumanly beautiful" I know she's meant to be confident but wowww. She's not confident and worried for Ciri she just comes off arrogant and selfish and vain. Like, fuck.

The ultimate mood, anon. My Witcher fandom life would be so much easier if I enjoyed Yen ... but I just do not lol. Remember how I mentioned that things were going to get even worse than her stealing and using a potentially dangerous artifact? Yeeeaah. She also resurrects Ciri's friend to torture him for information, all while destroying another sacred garden to get the power to do it! It's not even a "She's so evil and I love it 😏" situation for me because the game tries so hard to convince us that she's still The Best. Geralt's sexy soulmate, Ciri's adoring mother, the baddest bitch around who gets things done and does it with an effortless confidence... all while ignoring how horrific her actions and attitude are. Oh sure, other characters speak ill of her at times, but considering how much Geralt is written to adore her, no matter what you choose, that's all undermined. I love morally gray/evil characters, but I've never enjoyed them when the text refuses to appropriately acknowledge that side of them. Nothing is more frustrating to me than a story that frames disliking a character as the unambiguously wrong thing to do, especially when the text is piling up reasons to dislike them and, as a result, ignoring or shrugging them off their actions as not that bad. Yen is a rather extreme example of that for me. Despite her attitude, her choices, and other characters outright going, "Why do you like her?" the story as a whole works under the assumption that it's correct to like her anyway because Geralt loves her. And he loves her for... reasons.

They do meet before the wish, but only just. Major "The Last Wish" spoilers in this paragraph, so feel free to skip. Basically, Geralt and Dandelion run into trouble with a djinn, he goes to Yen for help since she's a sorceress (first time meeting her), he instantly falls for her because she's gorgeous and such (there's an elf there who is also madly in love with Yen. Men just... fall for her, instinctually), she heals Dandelion, Geralt agrees to pay her, but Yen has already decided on the payment she wants. She takes control of Geralt's mind and forces him to attack the town to seek revenge on those who have insulted her, resulting in him waking up in prison awaiting execution for "his" crimes. Meanwhile, Yen has gone after the djinn for herself because power/trying to regain her ability to have a kid. Geralt escapes, finds her failing to master the djinn (an attempt which btw has endangered the whole town) and despite what she's done to him, Geralt tries to get Yen to escape with him. She refuses, set on capturing the djinn even though it's obvious she can't. So as a last resort he uses the final wish to bind their fates together, saving Yen from the djinn in the process. Aaaaaand then they have sex.

So yeah, their rocky relationship is one of the main reasons why I can't enjoy Yen. For some their tumultuous history is evidence of realism, for me it's evidence that they're not actually very compatible and they're only together because a) that's the fantasy trope: protagonist men get together with the hot sorceress and b) because the magic is literally ensuring that they can't escape one another. I mean, canonically their fates are tied together by magic and canonically they spend about 20 years swinging between passionate love and fearsome fights... but there's supposedly no connection between these two things? No chance at all that they keep coming together because magic is drawing them rather than because they actually want/should be together? I wrote a meta a while back about the short story where they meet, which includes a present day scene where Geralt is criticized by another character — Nenneke — for running out on Yen. Thing is, he tries to explain that he left because she was "too possessive" and this is... flat out ignored. By both Nenneke and the fandom. There's a strong trend of ignoring Geralt's words in favor of a pro-Yen interpretation of events. He says he left because she was too possessive and she treated him like ____ — he's not allowed to finish the sentence and say what she treated him like because Nenneke interrupts him, saying she doesn't care about his version of events. Major yikes imo! She turns a claim of being possessive into Geralt not being man enough to stick around. The fandom likewise turns this into a case of Geralt getting cold feet and running out because he's a bastard who hates commitment. Likewise, Nenneke and the fandom claim Geralt is trying to get Yen money as a way of appeasing his guilt for leaving, he claims he's doing it simply because he still cares for her — even if he doesn't want to be with her — and knows she needs it. Geralt's words are frequently dismissed, in the same way others characters' opinions of Yen are dismissed. Any mark against her is treated as either a lie, or a convoluted claim that they don't really know her... never mind that an understanding of why she may act this way doesn't excuse the behavior itself. (Plus, the whole "Yen had a horrible upbringing, so of course she struggles being kind" perspective always fell flat to me when so many, including witchers, had horrendous upbringings too. The whole point is this world is a mess and most everyone suffers). It's supposedly true love, yet if someone came up to me and went, "I magically tied my fate to this woman to keep her from getting herself killed and we've spent the last couple decades having what many would term a rocky relationship, to put it kindly. I left once because she was too controlling. She once cheated on me. I likewise hooked up with others during our frequent breakups. A mutual friend used magic to get me to have sex with her — also while my lover and I were broken up — and though I view it as a dumb decision I'm happy to forgive her for, my lover is ready to commit murder because again: possessive. A lot of the time we're only a family because of our daughter. I once thought she'd horrifically betrayed us both. She didn't, but it says something that I was so ready to believe it, huh? Hmm? Permanently separated? Of course not! I love her. We're destined to be together after all :)" I'd be like, "Uh... you sure about that, dude?"

Not that Geralt doesn't make his fair share of mistakes in the relationship — he absolutely does — but I don't think it helps his case that he's immature in other ways and, frankly, that he's a very strong, badass witcher. It's easy to turn the hints we get about their relationship into a simplistic "emotionally naive man can't give the poor woman the commitment she wants" situation. Given Geralt's status as the badass fighter of the tale, it's likewise easy to dismiss his admissions of her being "possessive" and his general discomfort. He's the man. He's the witcher. If he's making any claims about how Yen isn't treating him well, they must be excuses, or exaggerations, because real men, especially physically powerful men, would do something about that — a something that's not sneaking out in the middle of the night. A lot of people read Geralt leaving as the ultimate proof that he's an immature bastard who doesn't deserve her. I read him leaving and think, "What were you trying to get away from? What was going on that made you think you could only leave by sneaking out without a word?" To me, that doesn't read as someone who felt safe, comfortable, and respected enough to do anything but slip away and try to wash his hands of things. And I'm not just pulling this "Geralt is at least somewhat afraid of Yen and isn't comfortable establishing boundaries with her" reading out of my ass. When Yen wants Geralt to kill the golden dragon for her and he refuses, saying he doesn't care anymore, his thoughts are:

He expected the worst: a cascade of flames, flashes of lightning, blows raining down on his face, insults and curses. There was nothing. He saw, with astonishment, only the subtle trembling of her lips. Yennefer turned around slowly. Geralt regretted his words.

And everyone is like, "See! Yen has improved so much. Geralt nearly made her cry, but she's supposed to be the bad guy here?" Meanwhile, I'm going, "Uh... anyone want to unpack why he expects fire, lightning, insults, curses, and blows to his face for telling her no? Why he's astonished that she wouldn't use her magic against him? Anyone think that Yen refraining from attacking Geralt when he refuses to murder on her command is a pretty low bar? No? Just me?"

Geralt and Yen's relationship makes me uncomfortable and a great deal of that discomfort derives from how much of the Witcher fandom shrugs off the fictional warning signs. I mean, I post primarily about RWBY. We watched a man in that show try to sneak away with his kids when his villainous wife planned to use them for a eugenics plan... and the fandom still blames him for that, refusing to admit that he was in an abusive relationship. Because that doesn't happen to men, right? I'm not saying it's the same for Geralt and Yen, simply because they are written to be soulmates. An abusive relationship was, quite obviously, never the authorial intent. However, I am saying that the a "This isn't a healthy relationship" reading is there, it exists as an interpretation, and both the story and fandom's tendency to dismiss it is something that hasn't helped me enjoy Yen's status as an otherwise well written, complex character. Their equality supposedly stems in part because they're both so flawed, yet each time I see a list of Geralt's supposedly equal faults they're... lacking imo. "Geralt bound himself to Yen without her consent." Yeah, to save her from dying from the djinn she was trying to enslave, after she refused to leave, while her actions threatened a whole town. "Geralt ran off without a word." Mmm hmm, anyone care about why? And my personal favorite is a scene you may not have gotten to yet (or may not get depending on your choices), but suffice to say, Yen is supposedly justified in physically attacking Geralt if he dares to challenge her in any way. That's the main takeaway across the fandom: If Yen is pissed off, you must have done something to deserve it which, in the relationship deliberately written to be "stormy," is something that sets all the alarm bells in my head off. Honestly, it kinda makes my skin crawl to go, "Geralt didn't deserve that" and get responses back of, "Yeah he did because he [insert basic human action here]." The Witcher world is hard and cruel, absolutely, but that doesn't mean I personally enjoy seeing an equally messed up relationship presented as something that's enviable in its flaws. "That's actually true love because the magically bound man who often expresses discomfort with his lover, written by a male author with a very iffy perspective on women, says it's true love." Crazy theory here, but... maybe it's not?

Idk, lots of rambling on my end tonight! For me, Geralt/Yen reads as something rather tragic which, in a canon that unironically upholds the relationship, and in a Yen-adoring fandom, doesn't make enjoying her character any easier. I keep coming back to Witcher 3, the comics, the show, even the books going, "Maybe I'll like her this time?" but nope, still trying lol.

#witcher #mymetas

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kendrixtermina · 3 years ago

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On the great selfishness of forced “reconcilliation”or, what’s in it for me? (A Thinkpiece)

It’s very clear and easy to see what he would get out of it: A great relief to his ego, self-image and pride. A feeling of attaining his goal. He’d no longer have to explain to himself or anyone why his daughter isn’t speaking to him. He would be more comform with the image and values he wants to attain. He would have piece of mind.

I’m even gonna be generous and grant that he would feel happy about the connection and being able to show his love, though I personally don’t buy it.

But what do I get?

A common retort here tends to be that I’d get “peace of mind”, and I grant that this can be true for a person who hates conflict and feels distres from disharmony, but I am really quite comfortable with some conflict. I don’t care to be friends with everyone. I get that not everyone will like me, and I’m fine with that.

It’s actually rather arrogant for someone to inflate their own importance to the point that they think your mentsal wholeness, hapiness and peace of mind depends wholly on themselves - like all your other relationships, your job, your hobbies and any self-improvement efforts you might be doing don’t matter at all. It’s jarring that anyone would think claiming that would make you forgive them, especially if your initial complaint was that they are arrogant and treated you as an extension of themselves rather than a whole person. They’re claiming that they changed and in the same breath showing that they still think your life revolves around them, that they get to have the relationship by default without ever having to build it.

And even such a person for whom forgiveness would bring piece of mind could just forgive the person in the quiet of their own heat for their own betterment without reestablishing relations. They wouldn’t be keeping to themselves because of a grudge, but simply because there is no good reason to connect.

Do you need a reason?

Well, if you didn’t, then you would have to connect to every single person who has not given you reason to loathe them. That’s impossible.

Consider that there are seven billion human beings on this planet. Most of them I will never meet. I couldn’t be friends with all of them even if I wanted. We all have limited time and energy. So, I have to pick some.

And to pick all the ones who just happen to be nearby seems like leaving a very important part of your life up to randomness. Your social contacts, after all, influence what values ideas you’re exposed to and what kind of support is available to you, and what experiences and energies you invite into your life.

It makes sense to first consider your family: They’re already nearby, you get to know them very well by virtue of living together, they’re biologically programmed to get attached to you, and they are likely to have things in common with you.

So if you know nothing else, it makes good sense to assume that a family member is a good candidate for a social contact.

But there are also family members who are NOT good choices for company. I think most of us can agree to this as a principle at least for extreme cases like rape.

So, it’s rather like this: A family member is a good candidate for social contact unless proven otherwise.

If we were like god who can be everywhere at once and needs nothing and never gets tired, then maybe we could be friends with everyone who is not an irreedemable sinner, but I am not god.

Any relationship costs time and energy. Yet, this can be very worthwhile, because human relationships also have great benefits.

For a relationship to be worth keeping up, the benefits have to equal or outweigh the work.

In our christianity-influenced culture it is still considered shameful to admit that you “want” something out of a relationship, but really, all of us do - that’s why we start and maintain relationships. Not being aware of that makes us blind.

By ‘benefits’ I don’t just mean shallow things like sex, attention or status. If you are longing for deep, meaningful experiences, that’s your benefit. If you love to give and see others thrive, that’s your benefit.

And I don’t mean that as a clever gotcha or as some cynical assertion that all relationships are inherently transactional, but as an useful mental framework to make oneself aware of the desired end result and check if one’s actions are in accordance with that.

If you want your children to trust you, you can’t judge and humiliate them when it’s convenient because that destroys the trust that keeps them listening to you & sustains the relationship. In the book “7 habits of extraordinaryly efficient people” this is called Production vs. Production Capacity or “The Goose and the Golden Egg”.

And don’t get me wrong, nortmally, there are great benefits to keeping in touch with your parent as an adult:

They typically have more ressources and are more advanced in their careers, so they can help you if you’re in trouble

They might be wiser, more experienced and more mature than you, so they can give you valuable advice

And lastly, you have all the benefits you’d get from any close social bond: Companionship and emotional support. They can listen to your woes, share you joy, you can tell them your thoughts, liven up your everyday life, and they can also introduce you to new ideas and viewpoints, and motivate you to go beyond your comfort zone. What’s more, being with a loved one can give you a feeling of meaning and community all on its own. Just seeing them on its own can make you feel happy, satisfied and meaningful. They don’t even need to do anything. They might be interesting and loveable and just all around enjoyable to be around and fill your heart with warm fondness.

People who have even 1 decent parent should be aware how lucky they are compared to ppl with no parents or two unforgiveable asshat parents. Every time you spend a good time with your parent, think of all the orphans, thrown-out gay kids etc. who don’t have that. Having a nice parent who supports you well into adulthood is a cause for great gratitude.

But now let’s look at an abusive jerk parent.

Could I get material support? No, because it comes with a proce tag of emotional distress. You will be guilt tripped even for the baby wipes that wiped your newborn butt! Super not worth it. If I wanted to pretend to like someone for money, I would just open an onlyFans, it’d be much less stressful

Could I get valuable advice? Is he wise? No. He is a fool. All his opinions are copypasted from rightwing websites. H e was telling us to heard hydroxy last year. Is he mature? He has the maturity of a toddler My 20 year old sister is a hundred times more mature.

Could I get emotional support? No, you have to walk on eggshells around him

Could i share my thoughts? No. he flies into a range if anyone voices any opinion that isn’t to his liking

Could we have fun together? No. He hates my lifestyle and values, and I loathe his. I think his politics are deeply immoral and he probably thinks the same about mine. We have zero interests in common. He only ever mocked my music and interests and tried to force me into sharing his so that I now associate them with bad memories. I would never be friends with such a person normally. I would count to ten so that O don’t waste time having pointless arguments with them on youtube comments. He says people like me are destroying Europe and that we are lazy degenerates. And this is assuming I believe that he didnt mean all the other outrageous things hes since made flimsy pretend apologies for.

Could I relax around him? No. I’m rather efficiently pavlov trained to associate him with pain and humiliation. Speaking to him tires me alot. It would cost me much, much more effort than any other relationship, and much time I could be spending doing useful things or interacting with people that I don’t have bad blood with & that don’t trigger emotional flashbacks with their mere presence

Would I enjoy being near him? No. He has zero traits that I like, value or enjoy. I absolutely do not enjoy being near him. I might have suffered him to touch me as I child because I was told to by my mother whom I trusted, but it was always with fear. He’s also never shown much signs of being interested in me. He would always yell at me if I entered a room and cried and whined about what a burden and a punishment I was. That is, except for making me take courses so he could then brag about having a child that does this & that, ignoring my wishes completely. In effect he brushed my real instincts and personality aside to mold me into his fantasy of having a child prodigy, exerting extreme pressure, and then humiliated and abused me when I remained a perfectly ordinary, non-genius child.

None of the normal reasons for having a social bond is present. There are only downsides for me: I have to shut up, bottle up my feelings, play nice, censure my thoughts etc.

I could see the point of doing that for a boss who pays me money, or to get into a social group that gets me prestige and energy, or maybe to get along with the friends and family of spouse I love and enjoy.

But what do I get here?

I mean, I’m not a child. I get that you sometimes have to play nice to get paid or archieve a cause. But my private relationships in my private life should be pleasurable. It’s where I go to recover from the work where fakery maybe can’t be avoided.

So why, why in the name of god would I ever chose THIS person to spend time with out of all the seven billion humans on earth? Aside from murderesrs, rapists and evil politicians, he’s probably among the worst choices.

Obviously this “reconcilliation” could only benefit him. There is no joy for me, no benefit. It’s purely letting myself be used for his ego like he has always done for the first 20 years of my life. If he was capable of providing the benefits normally associated with having a father, he would have done so already.

Considering that the whole problem was that he used me to fill his needs instead of thinking about my needs like a parent is supposed to, it’s insuit to injury and salt in the wounds.

And if I wanted such benefits, I would have much better odds of getting them by trying to find a mentor, tutor, life coach, therapist, friend etc. who is an older male.

So why would I believe that he is changed if in the next breath he makes such a profoundly, deeply selfish request?

If anything it shows me that he still doesn’t have the capacity to consider things from my PoV and see me as an adult independent human with logic, feelings and will.

This is not about not wanting to make the effort. No one makes an effort for effort’s sake; They do it because something worthwhile is at the other end.

There is nothing for me to gain here, nothing at all.

I see the point of making an effort to salvage a once good relationship that has gotten sour because of mistakes: The hope is that you can have that good relationship once again, or even a better, more evolved version of it.

But here there was never any good to begin with, and any hypothetical good that come in the future is questionable and dubious from past experience.

If he come then and ask, “Then what is he supposed to do then?” that would just be proof of that same objectifying mindset, that he just need to throw some coins in and out pops a relationship.

You’re just going to have to live with the consequences of your actions, just as I do every day.

Once upon a time when I was younger, I might have said “show real interest in me”, there’s people that know me that you can ask. Heck, I’ve got an internet presence. Nowadays, I do NOT want that. I’ve learned not to let him have any information or acess about me because I’ve seen time and time again that it will just be used as ammunition to clubber me. The benefit of the doubt is fucking gone.

But I have always believed in free will & not putting people into fixed unchangeable categories like, say, “narcissist” that give themselves easily to easy juddgement and fundamental attribution & stigmatize mentally ill people. It’s much more sensible to label behavior.

So in the name ofintellectual integrity, I’m going to try & name something that might lead me to reconsider. Not immediately agree, because that would presuppose that he’s entitled to it somehow. Just think about it.

It’s really pretty simple: Actually change.

When I visit my mother and don’t have to witnesses her getting yelled at, pressured and emotionally blackmailed over the phone, when my younger sisters tell me of all the great quality time theyare spending and how much he listens and cares about their feelings, when he behaves like he understands what he did, maybe then I’ll believe.

But as of now it seems about as unlikely to me as a giant sucker on the backside of Pluto. I can’t prove 100% it isn’t there, but it seems unreasonable to live my life assuming it exists.

99% sure isn’t the same as 100% sure, but both those things are very different from 0%. then again its a pretty common trope of far right rhetorics to act like every degree of uncertainty is the same

#emotional abuse #abuse #forgiveness discourse #child abuse #abusive father #abusive parents #physical abuse

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Galactica, Chapter 34 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Hello, darlings! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Violet got one step closer to her dream.

This Chapter: Violet shares her good news, Courtney finds out about her new position, Bianca makes a request, and Katya shows Trixie who’s boss.

***

“Anything for you sir?”

“Whiskey on the rocks please.”

Sutan smiled at the bartender, who quickly left him. He was waiting for Violet at The Nomad Bar, the woman promising that she’d be there, but she was already 10 minutes late.

It was weird with Violet, something about her somehow tricking him into forgiving the fact that she was chronically late for everything that wasn’t work related. Sutan was wondering if he’d have time for a cigarette, their dinner reservation still not for another hour, when he felt someone touch his shoulder.

“Hey.” Violet pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, her lips soft, the pleasant scent of lavender washing over him.

“Hello.” Sutan smiled. Violet looked absolutely stunning as always, though she was wearing what he now recognized as her work wardrobe, a black skirt and a white silk blouse so proper he wanted to tear it off her.

Sutan expected Violet to sit down or to start chatting, or at least apologize for being late, words always spilling from her when they met up because Violet wasn’t a texter, but today, she was just standing there, an excited but secretive expression on her face.

“What’s going on?” Sutan titled his head.

“Guess.”

“Guess?” Sutan smiled. “Okay, so, what category am I-”

“You’re looking at Galactica’s newest designer!” Violet burst out, a gigantic grin on her beautiful face, her eyes shining bright.

“Wow,” Sutan laughed, Violet absolutely beautiful in her joy. “Congratulations lovely eye-”

“Can you believe it?!” Violet squealed, putting her arms around Sutan and almost jumping in place, her excitement so thick he could taste it, the poor girl almost bursting at the seams with emotions.

“I can, actually,” Sutan smiled, a hand on Violet’s hip quickly guiding her down on the chair next to him. “Bartender!” Sutan yelled, “Champagne for the lady please.”

Violet giggled. She put her hand on Sutan’s thigh, leaning over to give him a kiss, a sweet whisper of ‘thank you’ left against his lips.

“I almost wish I had a cigar.”

“I’m glad you don’t.” Violet deadpanned, and Sutan snorted, Violet looking back at him with a smile.

“So,” Sutan took the order, Violet getting her glass of champagne while he was handed his whiskey. “When is the happy day?” Sutan put a hand on Violet’s knee, squeezing it as Violet took the first sip of her bubbles.

“Soon.” Violet looked at him. “As soon as I can.”

***

“Courtney.”

Courtney looked up from her computer, where she’d been updating Miss Fame’s schedule. She checked briefly to make sure that the phone call she was listening in on, a conversation between Fame and Trixie, was muted, and asked, “Yes?”

“I need you to know,” Violet was standing right in front of her desk, “that the 10th will be my last day working in this office.”

“What?” Courtney’s eyes went wide in alarm. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Violet held up her hand, “Nothing’s wrong. I’m getting a promotion.”

“Oh!” Courtney let out a sigh of relief--now that she knew it was good news, she relaxed a bit. If anyone deserved a promotion, it certainly was Violet.

“I’m going to be working in design,” she added, an uncharacteristically proud expression on her face.

“That’s awesome, Violet, I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m glad you’re taking it this well.”

“Of course!” Courtney smiled. “I’ll do whatever I can to make it easier: helping with the job description, interviews, whatever you need.”

The more Courtney thought about it, the more excited she got. Not that she had anything against Violet, but it would be so wonderful to have a coworker who was a real friend.

“Interviews?” Violet’s brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”

“For your replacement?” Courtney said, trying not to sound like she was being patronizing, although the answer was painfully obvious.

“Oh…” Violet just stared at her, blinking slowly, with that look she hadn’t given her for some time now, the one that said that Courtney was an alien doing a piss-poor human impression. “Huh.”

“What?” Courtney asked, suddenly self-conscious, knowing she must have put her foot in mouth but unsure how.

“Courtney,” Violet said, exasperated, in a tone that may very well have added ‘you brain-dead moron,’ “You’re who’s been hired as my replacement.”

“But...wait, what?!” Courtney's mind raced, panic filling her chest. Replace Violet? “But then who will replace me?”

“Nobody?” Violet looked like she genuinely didn’t understand. “You will be Miss Fame’s first assistant, and also her only assistant.”

“Shit.”

“Why do you think you were hired in the first place?”

“I just thought, with how much work there is, that you’d...need…” Courtney trailed off, not wanting to appear even dumber than Violet obviously thought she was, mind still reeling from this news.

Alone in Fame’s office? No one to guide her and lecture her and stop her from fucking everything up royally?

“No, Courtney. Fame has always just had one assistant.”

“But...do you really think I can do it alone?” Courtney asked, her stomach tight.

“I do.” Violet said. “Your work has been decent, even adequate recently.”

Courtney almost flinched. All she’d ever wanted from Violet was approval, and maybe some general comradeship. But this was almost too much. Could she handle it?

“You’re ready.” Violet looked at her, a small smile actually on her face. “I’ve done this alone. The workload is heavy sometimes, but who knows, in time you might move from adequate to good.”

“If you say so…” Courtney said, swallowing down a lump in her throat.

***

“Are you done yet?” Adore whined. She was sprawled on the sofa in Bianca’s office, waiting for her sister to finish working so that they could go to dinner.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is my job, that supports us both, getting in the way of your plans?”

“Yeah, I told Pearl that we’d be done early. Plus I’m starving,” Adore informed her.

“Ugh, I guess that means you haven’t broken up yet,” Bianca said with a sigh.

“Don’t fucking start, Bianca.” Adore was in no mood to Bianca’s dumb opinions aout her girlfriend...who had been nothing but wonderful so far.

“Fine, fine. So then are you still plus 2 for my party next Friday?”

“Uh, I don’t know, I might just be plus 1. Courtney’s been real busy at work, I don’t know if she-”

Bianca turned away from her computer, brow furrowed.

“But you said she was coming!”

“She was coming, but I’m just not sure she’s gonna feel up to-”

“Adore. I want her there,” Bianca said sternly, before flashing a charming smile, adding, “Consider it my birthday present.”

Adore sat up straighter. “Listen, Bianca, I know you think she’s hot, but I really don’t think you should mess with her. First of all, she’s straight, and she just broke up with her boyfriend, and she’s really vulnerable, and-”

“My specialty.”

“Bianca!” Adore’s face contorted in outrage. She knew about her sister’s reputation, of course, had seen the parade of girls with her own eyes plenty of times. But this was the first time she’d turned her attention to one of Adore’s friends, and it was extremely disconcerting, even if Courtney seemed to enjoy the attention.

“Oh, calm down, I’m kidding,” Bianca said with a laugh.

“Are you, though?” Adore crossed her arms, glaring across the office.

“Yes, asshole! Listen, I know I joke, but the truth is, I only seduce the willing. Otherwise it’s just no fun,” she explained. “I just like her, that’s all. I want her to come. Please.”

“Fine, fine. We’re supposed to hang out this weekend. Assuming she doesn’t cancel again, I’ll bring it up.”

“Adore. Darling baby sister,” Bianca cooed. “Make it happen. Or I’ll cut you out of my will and leave everything to the dogs.”

“I’ll do my best.”

***

“Go to the bed.”

Katya smiled as Trixie scrambled to obey, like the sweet boy he was. No one else was home, Pearl out for the night, and for that very reason, the toy chest from underneath their bed had come out to play.

Katya caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and she couldn’t help but smile. She was all dolled up; her hair and makeup done by Trixie only an hour before when he had artfully curled her hair and carefully applied lipstick to her lips. Katya was wearing heels and a set of black lingerie that they only brought out whenever they played a very particular game. Katya had allowed Trixie to choose today, and he had picked a bright purple strap-on that was now nestled against Katya’s stomach.

Katya took a step toward where Trixie was laying on his back, and she could practically hear the sharp intake of breath, anticipation radiating off Trixie’s body.

“Did you lube yourself up for me, sweetheart?”

“Yes I did, I did what you asked me to-”

“Ssh.” Katya was now kneeling on the bed between Trixie’s spread legs; a smile on her lips as her hand gently glided over his soft stomach, dipping into his navel, onward to his puffy chest where she couldn’t help but play a little with his nipples. Trixie’s hips bucked a little at the sensation, sending his cock bouncing. He was already so hard, so filled with excitement about what Katya was about to do that he was practically dripping onto his own stomach, a small pool of precum collecting in the valleys on Trixie’s chubby middle.

“You look so good, all ready for me.”

Katya smiled as she gently pushed a manicured finger inside of Trixie; the passage was so smooth and easy that she added another one immediately, which made him whimper.

“Sssh, you’re being so good right now, let me play with you a little, let me feel my big, strong man, who always pleases me so well.”

Trixie nodded, his eyes scrunched shut as if it would be too overwhelming to see Katya’s fingers disappear into him.

“Turn around.”

Trixie nodded again, moving so fast Katya barely had time to get her fingers out before he was on his hands and knees. Katya couldn’t help but smile and lean down to give Trixie’s lower back a sweet kiss, the red lipstick she had worn for this scene leaving behind a perfect mark.

“Are you ready for me?”

Trixie didn’t answer her question with words, but with actions instead as he pushed back against her, a high whine leaving his throat, making Katya laugh.

“That’s my sweet boy, my sweet…” Katya pushed inside, her strap-on fitting perfectly into Trixie’s ass, “…amazing boy.”

Trixie moaned as she bottomed out inside of him, and it was the sexiest thing. Katya loved this, loved to take Trixie this way. She loved all of it, the control, the respect, the trust, the way Trixie gave everything over so completely as she set a rhythm, the amount of times they had done this together making it easy for Katya to circle her hips in just the right way to make Trixie shout with pleasure.

Katya snapped her hips faster and faster, her hand in the space between Trixie’s shoulders forcing him down as she took him and used him for her own pleasure. The constant pressure against her clit made Katya join in on Trixie’s moans with real sounds of her own pleasure. But it was not until she leaned down over Trixie, their bodies pressed together and the words “I love you” leaving her mouth that Trixie came all over the bed, his eyes seeing white as he shook apart underneath her.

When Trixie came back to, wrapped in Katya’s arms underneath their duvet, it was to the feeling of sweet kisses getting pecked onto the bald spots on his head. Trixie couldn’t help but smile, his chest warm with happiness as he looked up at Katya.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, sugar butt.”

***

Violet had done the unthinkable, which meant that she hadn’t done anything at all.

It was her last day in Miss Fame’s office, and she had come in at 9, only arriving 15 minutes before Fame, not lifting a single finger to complete the morning routine.

It was all in Courtney’s hands.

So far today, she had opened her email and gone to get coffee, making sure to include the peach tea for herself that she was sipping that very moment, taking notes and keeping a keen eye on Courtney, the notes most of all for show to keep Courtney on her toes.

When Violet had suggested this dress rehearsal, Courtney had looked like she had wanted to die, but so far, she wasn’t doing terribly.

Sure, she was stressing over what Violet considered simple tasks, and she had almost missed a phone call, but Fame had requested adequate, and Courtney was delivering just that, without a single irritating joke or any clownish airheaded behavior, even when she was flailing.

***

“Don’t you want some pizza?” Adore looked over at Courtney, who was on her phone, dealing with some work thing for the third time since she’d arrived. She set the box on the coffee table and took a seat.

“No… I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

When Adore didn’t get a reply, she grabbed a piece of pizza herself instead, trying to figure out what was going on in Courtney’s head.

Between Courtney’s work schedule and Adore’s blissful new-relationship bubble, they’d barely seen each other at all since Adore got back from Paris. But when they had, Courtney had been acting strange: subdued, a muted version of her normally exuberant personality. Adore wondered if she was depressed, and felt like a pretty shitty friend for not noticing sooner.

“Court…”

“Hmm?”

“What actually happened with Willam?” Adore asked carefully. “You never really told me the whole story.”

“There’s nothing to tell. He turned out to be a disgusting, lying jerk, just like every other man I’ve ever been with,” Courtney said, flinging an arm over her eyes and lying back on Adore’s purple sofa.

Adore didn’t have a lot to add to that, because as far as she knew, it was kinda true. For as long as she’d known Courtney, her bestie had had the worst luck with guys. But usually, she bounced back right away, onto the next adventure...this seemed different.

“I’m sorry,” she replied lamely.

“It’s not your fault. You’re not a douchebag,” Courtney said.

“So…hey, are you still coming to my sister’s party next week?”

“I don’t know, Dore. It’s gonna be the end of my first week in the office alone, and I’m gonna be so tired. Third-wheeling at a fancy party where I don’t have anything to wear doesn’t sound-”

“Come on, you always look great! And it won’t be third-wheeling! If anyone’s third-wheeling, it’s Pearl,” Adore giggled, reaching out to tug gently on her hair.

“Look, I know you love them, but the idea of being at a party with my boss, and Raja, and all their friends is-”

“It’s gonna be a huge party, you probably won’t even see them!”

“Right.” Courtney rolled her eyes.

“If you don’t come, Bianca will be so disappointed.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure she really cares whether I come,” Courtney said sarcastically, shaking her head.

“She does! She even asked me to make sure you, you know, have all the right info. She definitely cares. She thinks you’re cool.”

“Well…” Courtney suppressed a smile, biting her lip. “Really?”

“Yes. Cross my heart. So please come.”

“I guess I can ask Ivy to lend me a dress from the wardrobe closet at work.”

“There you go! Plus, it’ll be a great party,” Adore insisted. “I promise you’ll have fun.”

Courtney nodded, finally looking at Adore with a sparkle back in her eyes as she reached forward to grab a piece of pizza. Adore grinned, but her happiness dissolved into confusion as she then watched her scrape the cheese off before taking a bite.

“What are you doing?” Adore asked, horrified.

“I’m vegan now. You know this, I told you weeks ago.”

“You’re still doing that? Dear god, why?” Adore moaned.

“Well, I’ve been really stressed and low energy and I think this will make me feel better, and sleep better, and give me some balance back. And it’s something concrete that I can do for the planet. Did you know that the meat and dairy industry-”

“Okay, okay!” Adore held up her hand, laughing. “I don’t need a whole essay.”

After a slight pause, Courtney sighed and said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, bae?”

“I know I’ve been in a shitty mood. I’m sure it hasn’t been fun to be around.”

“Honey, it’s okay. You just went through a breakup, it’s totally understandable.”

“It’s not even that,” Courtney said.

“No?”

“No, it’s just...work is…” Courtney sighed again. “It’s hard to explain. But I am done with men.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna come to the dark side?” Adore asked, fluttering her lashes.

“Ha. I wish.”

***

“Baby!”

“Yes?” Trixie was making breakfast, the eggs sizzling away in their pan. He turned, just to see Katya round the corner, a look of panic in her eyes. She was wearing an open shirt with a puppy print on it, her orange skirt around her hips, her hair barely collected in a loose bun, miniature pencils dangling from her ears.

��I just remembered-” Katya paused, “Hey,” she snapped her fingers, “eyes up her here,” and Trixie grinned at the fact that he had been caught openly staring at her tits.

“It’s Violet’s first day at design today. Why didn’t you remind me? I have nothing planned to celebrate and this is huge for he-”

“Hey, hey,” Trixie reassured her, putting an arm around his fiance. “I got it.” Trixie titled his head, and Katya turned to look at their kitchen table, a gigantic framed sheet of pink paper on it.

It hadn’t been easy to find photos of Violet, the woman apparently avoiding cameras like she was being paid to do it, but Trixie had still managed to find quite a few, Katya, Violet and Shangela all smiling at the brunch table on the roof.

“Did you make this?”

“I’m taking offence at that, this is a Mattel original, I poured my heart into this.”

Trixie smiled as Katya was hanging on to his shoulder, moved by her fiancé’s work. “I plan on putting it on her desk.”

“She’s going to despise that.”

“Probably.” Trixie chuckled, and Katya gave him a kiss. He had expected it to be short and sweet, but Katya pushed him against the cabinet, her hips flush with his.

“… Are you turned on by the fact that I made a collage?”

“Maybe.”

“Good enough for me.”

Tags – rpdr fanfic, thedane, veronica, galactica, vitan, bitney, trixya, violet, raja, Courtney, adore, bianca, Trixie, katya, lesbian au, m/f au, fashion au,

#rpdr fanfiction #thedane #veronica #galactica #vitan #bitney #trixya #violet chachki #raja gemini #courtney act #adore delano #bianca del rio #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #lesbian au #m/f au #smut #fashion au

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