#& to answer my own question it happened at least three times bc i have two other shitty comics like this one drawn already LMAO

[windupaidoneus]

how many times do you think this kind of thing happens

[red-doll-face]

Heeyyy! Soooo I have a fun request idea that I totally came up with on my own with no help from anybody else, from my own mind and not some super creative person that answered my question about Arthur proposing to reader 🤣 it goes something like this:

-takes three months to work up the nerve and like another one to pick out one ring.

-chickens out at least two times bc the moment isn't right

-asks Hosea for advice 19 times (Hosea is tired)

-he's the trope where reader starts crying and he's like ohh goddd i fucked up of course you don't wanna marry my ass

-the way he would ride around for a week looking for the perfect spot to do it

-marks it on his map with a heart

-the essays he would write in his journal about this situation

-he's so cute i love him pls marry me Arthur Morgan

-awww once you say yes??

Hehehehe no pressure though!!!!! I just looooovvvveeeee this idea so much!

Yes !!! Yes of course I’ll write this!!! ❤️❤️💕💕🥰🥰😵‍💫😵‍💫😩😩As always it ended up running really long even though I didn’t even really flesh out a back story. 🥲 I’m glad you enjoyed my response ☺️☺️ I definitely had high honor Arthur Morgan in mind for this when I read it, I hope it’s ok and that you like it!!! I was so happy to see you in my inbox !!! @zae-heeyyy 💓💓💓💓💓 writing this was so cathartic and I loved the rdr1 setting so much so that I made this pre black water heist or whatever 😭🫶 from Arthur’s pov hope you like the characterization 🥹

Tags: established relationship, marriage proposals?? Arthur being a major weenie. Like huge weenie. He is soooo sooo sweet it’s almost like too much and I love love love sweet Arthur so very fluffy!!!! Pre black water !! Dutch being a jerk 😒 but cute dad Hosea moments ☺️

Arthur wants things to be perfect for you.

(High honor) Arthur Morgan x fem. Reader

Arthur knows he’s made up his mind when he’s in the tailor’s shop in Blackwater, looking like a lowdown cattle rustler among all of the fancy fabrics on the wall. He and his spurs, his boots scuffed to hell and a leather satchel slung over his chest. He’s out of place and he knows it. But he’s here to buy a new shirt.

Yesterday, he had nearly driven himself insane looking for a shirt of his that wasn’t ruined, ripped and mended, dirty, stained irreparably. None of them were good enough for what he wanted, something nice to get down on one knee and ask his girl to marry him. And so he kissed you goodbye and rode into town in search of something better. He makes an effort at pretending to be interested in any of the fancy stuff, silk and linen suits that he sure will never be fitted for him. He clears his throat as the attendant drags his eyes away from the sunday paper.

A tight lipped smile consumes the man's face. Arthur already can sense the assumptions he’s getting but he pays little mind to it. He’s getting this shirt and that's that.

“How can I help you, sir?” Obnoxious and nasally, the thin and short man's voice already gives away his air of superiority. Arthur's eyes narrow but he isn’t too irritated yet.

“Here to get a shirt.” His words are simple. The attendant raises a brow.

“Just a shirt, not… pants or shoes?” the attendant lowers the paper to scan over the rest of Arthur’s clothes. Arthur can hardly ignore the burn of insecurity.

He gives a look that conveys how quickly he is losing his patience. “Excuse me?” He can only tell his posture changed when he observes the man's attitude change, clinging to the counter between them like it would make any difference.

“No, well sir, perhaps I’ve overstepped, I apologize. What kind of-of shirts were you thinking?”

“Listen, I ain’t here to cause no trouble, just show me what you’ve got,” The attendant hurries to show him some options, tries to sell him a vest but that isn’t happening with his budget.

In the end, he picks a blue french dress shirt. Costs a real pretty penny but he wants it to be special. Because you’re special. He stuffs it away in a saddlebag after thanking the attendant, who no doubt heaves a sigh of relief after he leaves.

-

He’s been collecting rings. In a special bag is a collection. A few plain gold bands, some with stones set in them. They’re pretty blue and red gems, some have filigree detailing. But he still can’t find the right one.

Worse then, is that they’re rings of all different sizes which he gets from his more sordid activities. Debt collecting or train robberies. It’s all stolen goods. It feels wrong to give you something like that but when he told Dutch his intentions, he clapped him on the back and told him to look in the collection box for more rings. He nodded then but it was half hearted. Somehow that was more souring. Did he really want to give you something he took from someone else? That someone else bought for their loved one with the express purpose of giving them something to symbolize how they loved each other? His own thoughts swirl circles in his head, why he had these scruples about it, he didn’t know.

It’s riding with Hosea that he asks for advice. They’ve been working on a job in Tumbleweed, trying to con some poor fool into giving money he shouldn’t by pretending to sell land deeds. They ride all the way from the yellow grasses of Hennigan’s Stead and it’s been mostly quiet over the stretch of passing though Armadillo. Arthur decides to speak up after they pass through town. The sun is beginning to dip a bit lower in the sky but they’ll be in Tumbleweed before then.

“I been-”

“This about you n’ the girl?” Hosea already has a knowing smile and Arthur rubs the back of his neck. “I think you should do it! You two would make quite the couple, she’s a sweetheart, that girl,”

“Yeah, she-she’s… I’ve been lookin’ at rings to give ‘er,” He grips the reins before going lax, riding easily along the path. Hosea murmurs, letting Arthur continue. He guides Boadicea down the dusty road. “I don’t think I wanna give her something I got robbin’, don’t seem right,”

“Then get her something new, I don’t think she’ll mind at all. But you do what you think you should. You could probably fence all the other rings you thought about and get her something quite nice with the cash,”

“Yeah, I could do that,” why hadn't he thought of that?

“That’s a wonderful thing, getting married. Don’t be afraid to, y’know, go through with it. If you’re thinkin’ about it. Maybe, once Dutch and I find the perfect spot for the gang to settle down, we’ll build you two your own little thing on the land,”

“You that confident she’ll say yes?” Arthur has an awkward and disbelieving laugh but Hosea keeps his earnest smile.

“Why wouldn’t she? Arthur, somehow, she has gone for a man like you, you should be over the moon, you should be whistling tunes everywhere you go,”

“Like me? What's that supposed to mean?” He knows what he means. A man like him had very little to offer you, a young woman who could easily charm some other well established man into giving you a home. Leagues away from his cot and the weathered canvas he put up to give you some small amount of privacy.

“You remember what happened with that Mary woman. This time, things oughta turn out better. This one’s got no old man to chase you around with a shotgun,” Hosea figures himself very funny and laughs, ending it with a shallow cough. Arthur furrows his brows.

Of course he reminded him of his disaster with Mary. He could never escape that woman, even when he severed ties with her. But how he had wanted to, especially with you. Yes, it was true, he had loved Mary. But now he loves you. He needs you. His idea of the rest of his life always includes you, laying in bed with him, gently stroking his chest, leaving him love notes in his satchel, telling him what happened in the camp while he was gone. He always listens, always wakes up smiling with you tucked under his arm.

“I remember just fine,” he grunts,

“Good, because you’ll forget about her soon enough. Month from now, I suppose. Where are you going to tell her?”

“Where? I didn’t think we was gonna go nowhere, just tell her when I was ready to…” he hadn’t even imagined a place when he first set out to do this.

“So you wanna propose; with Uncle standing behind her, drunk off his ass in just his soiled union suit?”

“I-”

“Take her somewhere special, somewhere to make her feel special! Women like to feel special, Arthur, you know that,”

“I do?” He says, with a sarcastic edge to his voice, though he tries on his attempt at sounding uninvested.

“You should. I didn’t do that enough. I should have before, well…” Arthur nods, bowing his head a little as if in remembrance. He hopes to always have you by his side. Otherwise he would be much like Hosea: carrying a torch for a woman who passed through his life too quickly.

-

He starts his journey looking for something special. Special like you are. Keeps his eye out, marking potential things in his map, and makes a list in his journal. Aurora Basin maybe, a pretty lake deep in the forest but getting attacked by bears doesn’t sound romantic in any way. There are some sweeping vistas overlooking the San Luis River in Rio Bravo. He isn’t quite sure about anything though, thinking it over deeply. He just wants things to be perfect.

He’s still thinking about it when he comes back to camp, close to Lake Don Julio, sighing. Thinking much too hard obviously, he doesn’t notice that you’re sitting on his bed, biting your nail nervously until you see him first. You look worried, happy to see him but worried. You stand, hugging your arms around yourself and then placing them on your hips to make you seem more upset but you just drop them when he’s close enough.

“Hey, darlin’,” He utters, opening his arms to give you a hug but you just look up at him. He drops them, mentally kicking himself before taking his hat off and sitting down on his bed.

“Arthur, you’ve been gone three days,”

“I know,” you’re disappointed in his answer. You take a breath and a pause, looking off to the right. He stares down at his scuffed and weather worn boots. He hates to disappoint you, hates when you’re upset. It takes a lot to get you there, too. You’re a forgiving soul when he knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. He looks away, like a dog who knew he shouldn’t have chewed those leather boots up to bits.

“You know. I asked everyone where you were and they didn’t know,”

“Honey, I ain’t gonna leave you, I’m not-”

“You leave other men out of this, Arthur,” you already predicted he’d bring another man’s failings to make up for his own. Maybe bringing up John’s shortcomings while you’re upset is a little below the belt but it worked better in his head. He puffs some air out in a laugh. God, he just can’t seem to find the right words to say.

“Is something funny? Is how much-how much I worry funny to you?” You look like you’re gonna cry, squeezing your arms tight around yourself. Your eyes flick around, thinking of all the people watching, never any goddamn privacy in this place. You start to back up, looking for a place to hide your tears.

“No, no, I- I’m sorry, don’t go walkin’ away,” You let him pull you back. Let him tug you into his lap. You sniff and tuck into his neck. “I’m sorry,” he says at least 5 more times. His hands pet down your hair, holding you. He hadn’t wanted to come back to such a harrowing fear in the pit of his stomach, the thought of you walking off without him. He thinks himself lucky that you haven’t had enough of him and decided to leave already.

Arthur pulls you in real tight, doesn’t let up til’ you start to calm down a little. “Shouldn’t cry for me, sweet girl, bastard like me ain’t worth them tears,” he wipes a few away. Seeing you like this could make him cry if he thought about it too much, how he had let you down. His nerves almost make him tremble, the slightest shake in his fingers when he brushes them under your eyes, shiny with tears. If anyone else made you cry, he’d knock their teeth out. But what is he supposed to do when it’s him? Sickness roils around his abdomen.

“Where were you, anyway?” You shake your head at his words. “Mac and Davey said…” he perks up at that. Those boys are a terror. His face screws up in an anticipated anger. He’d be angrier with them, they’re the ones who need to see it, not you.

“What’d they say?”

“No, they were just messing with me. I don’t think it’s true,” You look away. But he knows exactly how nasty those boys can be. He gives you a look and you give him a defeated one in return. An embarrassment leaks into your words. You can’t meet his eyes, twiddling your fingers.

“They said you were at the saloon in town. They said things that aren’t true and I know it but it isn’t nice to leave me here with nothing to say about it,”

“I know, darlin’, next time, you’ll be the first to know where I’m goin’,” You nod and wrap an arm around his shoulder while he pats your back, grabs your thigh so he can pull you to sit across his lap fully.

“Are you gonna answer my question or should I take their word?” you tease and he reassures you about those boys. They’ll be hearing from him soon enough.

“I’m gonna have a word with them, don’t worry about it,” he scratches his beard. How is he supposed to say that he went riding around looking for a place to take you so he can ask you to take his sorry hand in marriage? He had already disappointed you and saying it’s a secret is a laughable idea.

“Well, I was out, uhh- huntin’?” You frown and lean away.

“Arthur, you’re an awful hunter and an awful liar,” you look really hurt. You almost stand but he pulls you back. He needs something to tell you and fast.

“I was out lookin’ for somethin’ real special to give you. It’s supposed to be a surprise…but well, I can’t keep no secrets from you, sweetheart,” You fuss a little, a wariness in your posture. You study his expression. It isn’t a complete lie, makes it a bit easier to pull off. He really does have a surprise for you. He tries to keep his face neutral, but his lips twitch up when yours do to, a small smile shining through the clouds of your emotional turmoil.

“What surprise?”

“I didn’t find it, guess a surprise, it’s gonna have to stay,” You pout and wiggle, a soft chuckle rumbling in his chest.

“Ok, but once you find it, you better take me to see it right away,” You kiss him, soft and sweet, holding his prickly jaw in one hand. He can feel how your pout gives way to a smile. The feeling of your soft lips on his is one of those things he’ll never get sick of, never get over.

“I will, promise,”

-

He’s found the perfect ring, really, by chance. It’s a little thing but it’s the right color, goes well with you. The rock on it isn’t very big but he saw it in a window while in town. Some big fancy jewelry store, showing off all the finer things that he never paid any mind to. Unless it was to steal it of course. But he had bought it. With money that may have been also robbed but it was from hitting a Del Lobo stash. A good deed, probably in a backwards sense.

The girls had ‘oohed’ at it, Mary-Beth had an excited tiny clap and Tilly rejoiced. Jenny nodded with a small smile.

“We’re happy for you Arthur! Oh my god, Arthur Morgan, gettin’ married…” Tilly giggles, putting her hands to her cheeks and clasping her hands in front of the skirt of her yellow dress.

Karen laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day,”

“Don’t listen to her, I mean we was hoping when we saw you two huddled up all the time,” Mary-Beth takes the ring from him, holding it closer, so that Jenny and Tilly can get a closer look.

“Hey, be careful with that,” he murmured, trying not to sound too desperate. He scratches his neck instead of snatching it back like his instinct wants him to. Evening is coming soon, purple dusk and soft coyote yipping and howling far in the distance marks the sun's descent. Meaning you’re probably finishing up whatever it is you’re doing. He hopes you don’t come around the corner at an inopportune time. Arthur turns his head this way and that.

“Where’d you get it? Looks new, ain’t scuffed to high heaven like everything else around here,” Jenny points out and the girls nod.

“Bought it in town,” playing it off doesn’t work so well.

They ‘ooh’ some more. “Fancy. Only the best for Arthur’s sweetheart,” Karen coos teasingly.

“Gimme that,” grumbling, he takes the ring back, bowing his head so they can’t see the embarrassment plain on his face. He meanders off after asking how things have been. Of course, they only give him updates about you, Karen jokes that that’s all he wants to hear about anyway. He scoffs and wishes them a good evening.

But the perfect spot is yet to be discovered. Evades him like just about nothing else. He almost gives up on the idea. He’s been taking you out, trying to get you in the almost perfect moments. Taking you out on the town in Blackwater was a good time, he bought you dinner and took you on a stroll down the cobbled streets, watching your face light up when you saw something pretty in a window, clutching his hand and pulling him in more. He almost proposed on the veranda at the Blackwater saloon. Only for a fight to break out at the poker table to interrupt.

Then he took you out to see the poppy fields in Great Plains. But he had let his anxiousness and his nerves overtake him. He had tucked the ring away. You had looked so beautiful standing among the flowers, it was perfect but he just…couldn’t. Instead, he wrote in his journal about his own cowardice. Wrote about if he should lock you to him for the rest of your life. If he’d end up leaving you a widow. Or if you were to be taken from him like Annabelle and Bessie. Leaving behind lonely men who longed for a woman gone from this world. Then he scribbled pictures of you, trying to draw the motion in your hair and in your dress and the beaming most enchanting smile he had ever seen.

Boadicea munched on the long wheat grass, waving in the wind while he kept a watchful eye on you, picking flowers in your pretty dress fluttering against the bright blue of the sky. You have a bunch of candy orange poppy flowers held together by your palms, a bright smile on your face. You walk to where he sits, leaning against the tree, next to a small broken down stone fence. Your smile falters when you see his pensive expression. You come close enough to touch. You dangle one flower above him before you tuck it into the frayed ropes banded around the crown of his hat. He lowers his head while you fuss. Smiling like a fool. You smile again too, sitting beside him. You both listen to the sound of the quiet plains, breeze in the branches above him. The shade is cool, light filters beautifully over your features, speckled like the back of a doe.

“Something has been going on with you, Arthur,” you state as pure fact, knowing him all too well. You had only really known each other a year and have only been together as a couple for six months but you knew him better than anyone else. You had let him be himself, let him just…be. He didn't need to say anything for you to understand him.

“I’ve just been… thinkin’ bout some things,”

“Really? I thought you said you weren’t very good at that,” you smile a little, nudging his shoulder. Hoping to lift his spirits with his similar brand of humor but when he hardly huffs a laugh, you frown. “Is it about you and me?”

“Yeah, in a way,” he says, unable to hide anything from you. Why should he bother? Saying no would make you more suspicious. Arthur closes his eyes and can feel the panic rising in you. He could have been better about saying it but he’s quick to deflect it away from his secret. “You happy with me?” low and grumbled, the severity makes his tone go way down.

“I don’t understand. Do I not seem happy? Arthur, I’ve never…I’ve never been happier than I am with you. You’re the kind of man any girl would be lucky to have,” You smile, leaning to face him. Softening up, your eyes track over his face.

He wanted to ask you right then and there. Tell you just how much you complete him. How lucky he was to have you, how there never was a happier time in his life. He doesn’t believe in that sentiment you have, he had failed the women in his life. But he had wanted to make a vow, to never leave you alone. It’s his own nerves that wrap tight around his hands, don’t let him reach in his satchel for the little treasure that will be your wedding ring.

“No, I just know I been gone, I don’t wanna ignore you. I just been busy,”

“You have things to do,” You sigh heavily. “I wish the other men would be as helpful as you. Sometimes, I watch Sean, Uncle, and Bill lay around all day while you’re out working. It doesn’t seem fair,” Your brows pinch in a small dissatisfaction with the idea. He smirks.

“I don’t know how much I trust Sean to get things done right. We’d probably eat nothin’ but leaded rabbit meat and whiskey if we left it up to that boy,” You giggle and nod. Happy to see him back in his joking mood.

“Arthur… You know I love you, don’t you?” God, those words make him shiver. Make his heart rattle in his chest. Could swear his insides turn about 3 times. So sweet, you look at him, hands on his thighs, leaning into his side. He opens his arm for you to tuck into, grabbing your waist to pull you close.

“Yeah, I do. Love you more,” he can feel heat flush up his neck and cheeks but he doesn’t care if he looks like a lovesick idiot. Your joy is worth it. The wind blows your hair over your shoulder, you let him sweep it back some more. Your pretty laugh when he bows over to lay you down on the grass makes him chuckle.

-

He’s finally found it. Montana Ford. A shallow spot in the river he discovered, looking for a short cut trying to cross from New Austin into West Elizabeth. He hated riding through the Del Lobo populated Thieves Landing, especially after they were catching on that it was Dutch and his boys robbed their stash two weeks ago. He sighed and then he veered off the road, looking for somewhere to cross. And the shaded river was perfect.

He stays there a moment, looking at the pretty grass growing alongside the water, the light glittering over the surface. The sound of the river rushing by fills his head pleasantly. You’d love it, you’d toss your boots aside and wade into the river, lifting your skirts high enough to hopefully not get wet. But you’d be wet anyway. He’d do it too, you made him feel like he was twenty despite his thirty some years on this earth.

He decides to sit and sketch it and write about you. Just how excited he was at how everything was coming together. He feels like a kid, sappy but too devoted to care very much at the small heart he puts on his map. He’s almost embarrassed of himself. Even with no one to see. He folds his map up and stuffs his journal away, whistling his horse over. With a soft word or two, he mounts up and continues on to his destination.

-

It's been three days since he found the spot he would take you to and he’s had a ring in his satchel that glares up at him every time he opens it to pull out a cigarette. Of course, just as everything comes together, Dutch insists he go scouting for some new venture, looking to follow a treasure hunter so they could rob him. It ends up being a whole lot of nothing from a bad tip but Dutch has a ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ speech to try and lick his own wounds at Arthur’s expense. Arthur rolls his eyes. Feels his hands knot into fists.

“Maybe next time, it’ll be you runnin’ all over New Austin on some wild goose chase! And I’ll give you this bullshit. Wouldn’t that be just fine, wasting your goddamn time-”

“Arthur, calm down! I don’t have time for your complaining. Where is that girl of yours? Why don’t you blow some of that steam off with her? It’s obvious to me-”

“Dutch…stop pushing the boy,” Hosea remarks from where he’s reading a book nearby. Arthur postures to continue arguing and Dutch shoots a glare before waving him off. He looks to Hosea and backs away, huffing. But before he can go for a smoke to hopefully calm himself down so he could be with you, Hosea calls him over.

“So… have you popped the question?”

“No, I ain’t got time most days,” He sighs in defeat, dropping his weight on the seat next to him, resting on his knees, leaned over. He takes his hat off to adjust his hair before putting it back on. He hadn’t seen you in another two days on account of this stupid ploy to rob a treasure hunter who didn’t know left from right and east from west. What an idiot. But not nearly as foolish as he.

“Tomorrow, I’ll tell Dutch to leave you out of these plots of his. I’ll even tell Miss Grimshaw that she’ll be gone. Take her and ride away for a couple of days. I hope to see a ring on her finger when you get back. In fact, I’ll be expecting it!” Hosea has a smile on his face, the excitement is genuine. Arthur nods.

“And what if she says no?”

“Well you keep at it. Perhaps a little persistence is all you need but why do you insist on imagining the worst?” It’s as if after asking, he considers why Arthur might not want to change things irreparably, might have already put his heart on the line and had it thrown away before.

“Arthur, the sting of rejection must be pretty…pretty lamentable. But you wouldn’t be trying this hard if you really thought you didn’t have a good chance,” Hosea sets his book down. “Go get some rest… leave first thing in the morning,” Hosea pats Arthur lightly on his shoulder. Arthur looks up as Hosea wanders in the direction of his tent.

His heart does yearn to see you at his side, wearing his ring on your finger. To hear you referred to as Mrs. Morgan. But all he can see is an incredulous look on your face. ‘Marry? Me? Arthur, you must be joking,’ you laugh and laugh. You’d never be so cruel but whatever part of him hates his own guts imagines the scenarios with great fervor. The anger from the rest of his day and the anger at himself grit against each other. He growls low before marching off to his tent.

You’re already inside, looking very lovely, one of his mended shirts serving as something of a robe to wear over your underthings. You look up and smile. He could forget the whole world just by looking at you. You hum, scooting over in bed.

“Arthur…” the way you call his name, you hardly need to give him any pet names, just Arthur will do.

“Come out with me tomorrow. First thing in the morning,” He states. More like a command, the residual anger drips off his words. You look at him strangely.

“Alright but I’d like to know what all of this is about first,” You set whatever you were working on, perhaps brushing your hair as you set a horsehair brush aside. You give him a concerned look.

“Found that surprise,” he grumbles, sitting down and tugging his boots off. “Hope you’ll like it but…” he stops to tug his gun belt off, his suspenders too. Arthur rests his hat gently on the side table. “Can’t be too sure til I show it to ya,” You smile softly.

“I think if you think I like it, I’ll love it,” God, he hopes so. Anticipation bounces around in his head and in his lungs. He’s practically short of breath. How he’s going to sleep, he has no idea.

“Yeah?” you hum in agreement. Looking sleepy, he’s endeared by how your eyes blink slowly, how you wiggle onto his chest the second he lays down. Your hands rub down his chest and belly. You’re asleep in a matter of minutes. He almost wishes he had you for company still but he’d never wake you for something so selfish. Instead, he pets down your hair and listens to your breathing, the natural hush that covers the camp once it’s too late for much of anything but small chatter.

-

Like clockwork, he wakes early. He can’t remember falling asleep but you're softly murmuring, you won’t wake unless he expressly wakes you. He gives himself time to put on that shirt he bought and rub his hand over his face at how nervous and silly he feels buttoning it up. He pulls a jacket over it to hopefully hide how ridiculous he looks. The morning is a pale blue when he steps out, thinking to bring you coffee to wake you.

You dress, half asleep, when he comes back to you, humming into the cup he brought you. You wear something nice but not overstated. You put kisses on him to wish him a good morning after you’ve decided you’re cleaned up enough.

He helps you up on his horse, Boadicea already very used to you. The ride isn’t too bad and you certainly make it better, he’s quiet with nerves, responding as much as he can without getting lost in his thoughts. The sun has climbed up and blazed down on you for a while by the time you get there. But your face when you see his surprise is too precious, eager to slip off the back of his horse.

“Arthur, it’s so beautiful!” The summer sun is high in the sky, perfect for your plans as you tug your boots off. He ambles after you, hitching his horse to a tree. You’re already sighing and knee deep in the center of the river. Your stockings lay haphazardly tossed over your boots. You’re some fabled creature, come from somewhere else. He could see it. No woman shined like you did, at least not how he saw things.

Just like he imagined, he rolls his pants up and tosses his boots aside, the spurs jingle when they hit the ground. The light catches the river’s surface, shades of yellow and green, the earth's gentle brown. You’re excited to see him join you, taking his hand that he holds out to you, pressed to his belly and chest, just where you belong.

“You like it, sweetheart?” He mumbles, really fishing for compliments. He knows you do but he’d love to hear you say it.

“I love it, Arthur, how could you say I wouldn’t? Sometimes, you’re a silly man,” you laugh, sway with him in the river. Birds sing, the water is cool, it’s perfect. He pulls you up to a shallower part of the ford, the sun forms a halo around you, reminds him you’re pure heaven and he couldn’t let you go.

“I have something else for you,” his voice is shaky instead of the easy confidence he likes to portray himself as. You look up excitedly but the dazzling smile slips off your face, you're shocked as he pulls a ring from his satchel and kneels down in the river.

“I-uhhh…I-“ he had really planned all of this and didn’t think of a single word to say. He can't bear to look up, he’s sure he’ll lose his nerve. “I haven’t loved…anyone like I love you,” the ring looks tiny and pathetic in his fingers. They’re also calloused to hell but he continues anyway. “There ain’t anyone else for me in this world but you. I just wish I was a better man, you deserve more than I can give but… if you would have me,” he looks up and your hands cover your mouth and tears leak over your fingers.

He really had ruined everything, hadn’t he? How was he supposed to go on living with you? What would he tell Hosea? His face falls and his heart cracks but he’d be glad to take you back home and disappear for a few days.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, don’t know what I thought,”

“Arthur, just please…” you hold out your left hand. You wipe your tears, trying to compose yourself and when he sees your smile, your hand over your right cheek, he lets himself ease. “Nothing would make me happier than to be- to be your wife, Arthur, you are…you’re the best man I know,” you wiggle your fingers excitedly and he slips the ring over your ring finger. He stays stunned, kneeled in the water, his pants soaking it all up but he couldn’t care less.

The ring looks so perfect on you. He holds your hand, kissing it like a knight of old, looking at him down on his knee, still crying but that brightness in your eyes is all he needs. Your giggle makes him smile at you too. And you drop to embrace him, tucking into his chest, arms around his neck. You murmur his name, rub his back. Tangle your fingers in his hair. He settles with you, surrounded by your unmistakable presence, basking in it. Holds you tighter, trying to not squeeze the air out of you. He breathes you in, holding you through your overwhelmed clinging, wiping your tears on his shoulder.

You pull back a little, enough to kiss him, his relief is groaned into your mouth. He loses track of himself and slips, sitting in a river with you in his arms, giggling more into his kiss.

You sit with him on the banks, trying to dry out after he tipped over. So much for his fancy shirt. He thinks the both of you will look half drowned by the time he brings you back to camp but he isn’t sure he wants to go back. Just you and him for a few days sounds rather enticing. You keep looking at your ring, leaned into his shoulder. A pleased little smile blooms over your face. How can he not smile at how beautiful you look, hair wet at the ends, warm light casting its glow over you.

You look up at him, with a look that says you’re gonna cry again but you just give him a teary smile.

“I’m a lucky bastard, get to call you mine,” You wrap one tiny hand over his neck when you kiss him slow and deep, letting him consume the very air in your lungs, grip over your body to feel it. You moan just softly enough to pull on his need for you. But you part ways for you to continue.

“Did you really think I’d say no?” you give him a sad frown. As if upset that he would think such a thing of you. You brush your fingers against his skin. He looks away.

“You wouldn’t have been the first,” you sigh.

“Who could say no to Arthur Morgan?” You ask no one in particular but he huffs a small laugh.

“Many people,” a joking tone tinges his words. But then he dips towards the sentimental. “Don’t even remember, really, all I think about is you, darlin’…” You laugh before coming closer, unable and unwilling to part from him. He knows he’s a hundred and one percent sap but he lets himself melt in your presence.

“Well, it certainly wasn’t me,” you wiggle your left hand in his face. He chuckles a little at your cute little fingers. “I’m glad…it means I get you all to myself,” The joy is boundless in his chest, he could light the night like a lightning bug with the flame in his heart.

“Arthur, I… I… sometimes I don’t have the words to tell you how much I love you,” you lean onto him. He shakes his head with what he’s sure looks like a stupid grin on his face. He wasn’t sure this would be in the cards for him but here he is, with you.

“Every part of me loves you, honey,” is all he has to say, paling in comparison to the pure power of your own words over him. They tumble clumsily from his mouth but you pull him down for kisses anyway. Your teasing ‘do you?’ has him nodding between your giggles and wet kisses.

-

Thank you so much for leaving me this request, I loved writing it!! It was so much fun and I really had fun including some parts of rdr1 map that were really special to me and brought me back to when I was a kid playing that game 🥹🥹🥹🥲🥲🥲❤️❤️❤️ any feedback is appreciated and thanks for reading 🥰🫶

[milksnake-tea]

━━ welcome, rover .

Waking up in a foreign world with no memories and hostile natives isn't what it's made out to be, especially when you have a sassy voice telling you to jump off a cliff.

self aware!wuthering waves au (kinda.)

contains: male!rover, elements of sagau, ooc!chixia, canon divergence, based off of beta wuwa

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i wrote this on the plane while having motion sickness so uh sorry if it's bad but i had a vision... this is based on the old version of wuwa btw !! where everyone was kinda hostile towards rover so that's why chixias more antagonistic bc i heard she was kinda mean in the og... rover might be ooc too bc honestly my experience w wuwa is... limited due to the lagging but i hope i did him decently enough !! if he doesn't have sass that's uhm. that's my bad. anyways self aware beams your wuwa

When Rover awoke on that new world, the first thing he'd seen was a heated glare.

Alright, maybe “glare” wasn't the right word. It was moreso wariness, or distrust. Narrowed eyes, hostile and defensive body language, and hands hovering above where he assumed was their weapons holster - it was obvious that to the locals, he was an unwelcomed guest.

He'd barely regained enough consciousness to comprehend the language - their words were twisted, alien, yet he could somehow still understand them - before he was barraged with an onslaught of interrogations: Who was he? Why was he here? What were his intentions? Why was he alone?

And of course, when faced with all of these questions, his recently wiped mind went blank - that tends to happen when you have amnesia. Unfortunately for him, that answer wasn't exactly satisfactory. It was painfully obvious from their expressions that no one believed him when he explained that he didn't remember anything, not even his own name.

The redhead was the most aggressive - Rover was sure she would've already started getting physical had her companion, a darker-haired woman dressed in blue, not kept her in line. While the others weren't exactly kind to him, they still remained civil… or at least, as civil as they were willing to be.

In the end, the third woman, this one with sharp eyes and presumably the medic of the group, managed to convince the other two that Rover was telling the truth after a brief examination. It was then, and only then that the interrogations stopped, and Rover could finally have some time to himself as the three women discussed what to do with him.

As the details of their conversation faded into the background (he heard a lot of fancy terms that he wasn't familiar with), Rover decided to take a look around.

He'd landed in the middle of a forest, which didn't strike him quite right - out of everything, the one thing he clearly remembered was being underwater. But as he surveyed his surroundings, only looming cliffs, thin trees and swaying grass greeted him.

He winced, his head throbbing suddenly. A stabbing sensation struck through his head like a bullet, and then there was warmth, spreading through his body like sunlight.

“..ey. Hey!”

Rover blinked. The redhead planted her hands on her hips, irritation evident from her scowl.

“We’ve decided what to do with you,” the woman in blue said softly, holding an arm in front of the redhead to calm her.

Rover tilted his head innocently, prompting her to continue.

“We'll take you to the city,” explained the medic. Her voice was just as frigid as her gaze. “There, the officials will examine and determine whether or not you're a threat.”

“I’m-” Rover started, but caught himself. “Okay.”

The medic nodded, then bent down on her knees. Noticing her outstretched hand, Rover realized she was offering to help him up.

He stumbled as she pulled him to his feet. His legs felt like jelly, pins and needles pricking at him as they slowly woke up. For a second, he'd thought he'd fall over.

But then the warmth came again, and this time, with a voice.

“Steady. Easy does it.”

Sudden strength surged into his legs, and he stabilized himself, the pins and needles fading away.

“There you go.”

He looked up as if expecting someone to be there, but predictably, all that met him was a vast blue sky.

“Are you looking for me?” He heard the voice laugh, a clear, bell-like sound. “Maybe do that later, you're making yourself look funny.”

With a start, he realized that the voice was right. The three women were giving him weird looks, and his hand was still intertwined with the medic’s.

Hastily, he yanked his hand away, a sheepish chuckle escaping him as he rubbed the back of his neck. The redhead scoffed.

“Yangyang, this guy’s got a screw loose or something…” she muttered to the woman dressed in blue. Yangyang sighed in agreement, turning on her heel and walking away.

“Bear with it for a bit, Chixia,” she replied. “We'll drop him off at the City Hall, and they'll take it from there.”

Chixia didn't look happy with that, but she relented nevertheless.

“Wow.”

Rover flinched as the voice spoke again, this time closer to his ear.

“They do not like you at all, do they?”

Obviously not, Rover thought incredulously, but can you blame them?

He'd noticed it a while ago - the three were clearly on edge. Something was going on on this planet, something bad. Having an unpredictable factor such as him probably wasn't helping.

“Good point.”

So you can hear my thoughts. Rover huffed as he pulled himself up a cliff, vines scratching at his arms. The route the locals had decided to take wasn't a kind one.

“Well, yeah. How else are we supposed to have our super-secret confidential shittalking sessions?”

Rover paused. What?

“Don't worry about it.”

No, what'd you say-

“I said don't worry about it. Now keep climbing, they're leaving you behind.”

Easy for you to say, Rover thought indignantly, but did as the voice said nevertheless. He quickly caught up to the group, the medic raising a brow as he fell into step beside her. Thankfully, she didn't say anything and only kept her gaze straight ahead.

“Hey, I'm not the one who's being marched to officials for an inspection. And I don't have a reputation I need to maintain.”

Rover hated to admit it, but the voice had a point.

What are you, anyway? He walked past a small pond filled with fish. His hands twitched with the urge to jump in and grab some, but his first impressions were already bad enough as is.

“I'm God, actually.”

Rover deadpanned, unimpressed.

“Jeez, tough crowd.” The voice shifted, moving from his right to his left ear. “But seriously though, I'm human, just like you.”

If you were, I'd be able to see you.

“Fair enough,” the voice mused. “But I really am human. I just… happened to wake up invisible and connected to you.”

Rover grunted as he vaulted over yet another cliff. Very convincing.

“Says you.” He could practically hear them rolling their eyes. “At least I remember what my name is.”

That one hurt more than Rover would've liked to admit.

“...Sorry.” Quieter now, almost meek. “That was out of line.”

Rover closed his eyes briefly, breathing in as subtly as he could before opening them again.

It's fine. You didn't say anything false.

“It was still insensitive.”

Rover sped up. It happens to the best of us.

The voice went quiet, leaving Rover to the slight howl of the wind and the sound of boots crunching against sand. But they hadn't left entirely, no - Rover could feel a presence to his left, subtle but impossible to ignore.

“So you don't remember your name, huh?” Chixia said suddenly.

“No,” Rover muttered.

“Guess that just means we'll have to give you one. Or I could just keep calling you ‘Weirdo’ in my head.”

Rover’s eye twitched. “Let's not.”

Chixia grinned back at him, but the smile didn't ease his nerves at all - on the contrary, it made them worse.

“Why not? I think it's pretty fitting.”

“Chixia,” Yangyang warned, which Rover was grateful for. Had he retaliated, things wouldn't have ended well for him.

Chixia shrugged, crossing her arms behind her head as she sauntered off.

“I must apologize for her.” Yangyang turned to him. To his surprise, she seemed genuine. “Chixia usually isn't that rude, it's just that, well…”

She trailed off, uncertain on how to continue. Rover shook his head.

“It's fine,” he assured. “I can tell that you're all anxious.”

Yangyang’s shoulders slumped. “Is it that obvious? But… yes, you're right. Life hasn't exactly been calm as of late, with Tacet Fields appearing left and right.”

“Tacet Fields?” Rover repeated, tilting his head.

“It's easier to demonstrate than to explain,” the medic cut in, stepping forward as the cliffs and trees opened up. Rover followed her gaze to a darkened field, corrupted by dark matter and with a star-shapped scar at the center.

Abyss-like creatures prowled the corrupted zone, covered in dark armor, scales, and/or fur. They spoke to one another in gargled gibberish with voices that sent chills down Rover's spine.

“Those are Tacet Discords,” Yangyang explained. “They’re born from the distorted frequencies that result from the Tacet Field.”

“Ew.”

Welcome back, Rover greeted, to which the voice didn't respond.

“They're ugly,” they commented instead, scrutinizing the Tacet Discords one by one. Rover silently agreed. “But there's a few pretty ones I can see, like that wolf.”

Rover stared at said wolf's sharp canines and ravenous glare. Pretty… isn't what I would call them, but suit yourself.

“There’s a whole swarm of them out there,” Chixia observed, breaking through their conversation. She stretched her arms as if preparing for battle. “Can't get to the city without getting through them first.”

“Hm…” Yangyang contemplated to herself, before looking up at Rover. “Say, uhm…”

She hesitated, not knowing what to call him.

“Rover.”

His mouth moved on its own as his voice mixed with the voice's. Yangyang blinked, startled.

“I… I thought you didn't remember your name.”

“I don't,” Rover spoke without meaning to, like a puppet on strings. “It just… came to mind.”

Yangyang didn't look convinced, but she let it go.

“Alright, then, Rover, do you know how to fight?”

The feeling of being puppeteered left him as the voice became separate once more.

“Yes,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

What the hell was that?

Yangyang smiled. “Good, because we'll need to clear that Tacet Field before reaching the city.”

He nodded, understanding the implications. “I'll do my best to fight alongside you.”

“I don't know what that was,” the voice replied, and sure enough, they too sounded unsure. “I just did what the system told me to.”

The system? Rover questioned, but received no answer.

Rover heard a pistol click behind him as Chixia readied herself. “Don't try anything funny,.”

“I won't.” Operating on instinct, Rover drew a blade of his own. Chixia chuckled.

“We'll see about that.”

One by one, the group jumped off the cliff, deploying a glider so as to land safely below. Rover was the last to go. As his feet skidded at the edge of the cliff, sending pebbles flying down, unease swirled in his gut.

“Hey,” the voice said gently. “Don't worry. I'll help you out.”

What… Rover furrowed his brows, frustrated at how little he knew. What are you?

“Like I said, I'm just another person who ended up stranded here. I have a feeling we're going to be stuck together for a while, so I suggest you get used to me.”

Then, Rover sighed, at least give me a name. You said you remembered yours.

The voice paused.

“[Name],” it finally said, the name foreign to Rover's ears. “That's my name.”

“[Name],” he murmured, feeling it roll off his tongue. “We should get going, the others are waiting. You said you'd help me, right?”

“Yep. Just jump off the cliff and extend your left hand up to glide.”

Rover paused. Aren't these called intrusive thoughts?

“Just do it.”

Taking a deep breath, Rover looked down at the jump before him nervously. Closing his eyes and mentally praying to whatever god was listening that he wouldn't end up a black puddle on the forest floor, he lept.

Mechanical wings unfolded above him in a series of clicks and whirrs, a handle extending down for him to grab onto like his life depended on it. Peeking open his eyes, he let out a sigh of relief, feeling a small breeze brush against his face.

“See?” Although not obvious, relief bled into [Name]’s words as Rover landed safely on his feet. “You can trust me.”

A small smile slipped onto Rover's face, the first since he'd woken up.

“I guess I can.”

The glider folded in on itself, replaced by his blade as he joined the others.

“Took you long enough,” Chixia commented, but for the first time, it wasn't with ill intent.

“Sorry,” Rover replied. “But I'm here now.”

“Enough chitchat,” Yangyang called up ahead. “They've noticed us.”

Sure enough, the Tacet Discords were turning towards them, snarls twisting where he assumed their mouths were. The corruption worsened, dark energy forming in black smoke.

“Let's see what you're made of, Rover,” said Chixia, expertly spinning her pistols. Yangyang had already drawn her sword, and Baizhi, the medic, had summoned a pearly dragon-like creature to fight alongside her. [Name] didn't say anything, but he could feel their energy beginning to seep into his muscles, ready to aid him in battle.

Rover pointed his blade towards the Tacet Discords.

“Let's go.”

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

tags: @sh0jun, @themoderatelyawesomeninja, @xphantasmagoriax, @rainswept, @lucensei

@akutasoda , @naraven , @scribs-dibs

[suzukiblu]

hi, question for you, have you ever experienced prolonged writer’s block before? do you happen to have any advice for getting a writing flow going again, that you’d be willing to share?

bc i don’t want to get too heavy in your asks, but between chronic illness/fatigue and longterm autistic burnout i haven’t been able to write a single word in several years now, and GOD am i tired of it. it’s like all the stories and words are stuck inside me and i can see it all in my head but the faucet is jammed and i just can’t get it OUT! i have been slowly feeling like the creative embers are maybe starting to spark again but it’s so hard not to get impatient with myself because it never seems to actually transfer to paper (or word document or notes app). any ideas or tips?

no pressure to answer this if you don’t want to of course, regardless i really enjoy your writing and i’m so glad that i can at least engage with fandom through other authors even when i can’t write my own stories! 💛

Oh god, yeah, I DEFINITELY have experienced that, hahasob. I have gone through at LEAST a year or two without, like, putting down a single word or even drawing anything, just total creative block/not there-ness. Like I feel u on that one, bud.

Good news: now if I write less than 2k in a day I think "oh that's kinda low, huh", so like . . . definitely "didn't write jack shit for [ INSERT TIME PERIOD HERE ]" has yet to sink me, and therefore fuck if it's gonna sink ANY of us. We persevere!!

So like, in my experience actually helpful writing advice is just SO wildly "you just gotta try shit 'til something works"-based that I'mma just give you a list made up of a bunch of, like, assorted tips and tricks that I use on myself to make my brain put words down when it's being stubborn about it, though different ones work at different times and obvi YMMV here anyway because for obvious reasons these are all approaches that I have tailored to my own needs, hah, and some of them are a bit facetious and some are also a bit heavy, but absolutely and unironically I reguarly use them all and they have all repeatedly worked for me.

Also, they're all gonna be goin' behind a cut because WOW there's actually a lot more of them than I realized I had, hahaha. The psychiatrist who recently used me as a case study told me I was very self-aware, so take from that what you will, friend.

Get up and do a chore/take a shower/eat a snack/literally just walk through a friggin' doorway, more often than not it'll at least make your brain reorient enough for you to realize you were just beating your head against a wall and need to do [ INSERT DAMAGE CONTROL/HARM REDUCTION BEHAVIOR HERE ].

Track your progress. Write to-do lists and cross shit off 'em. Keep track of your word count when you write; put it in a spreadsheet or a notebook or on a graph on your bulletin board.

Get a NEW way to track your progress. I currently use, like, three different "to-do list" apps to varying degrees in varying ways, not counting just my basic calendar app ( for the record: Finch, Structured, and just a generic notes app, but mostly Finch and Structured and seriously I CANNOT recommend Finch enough, go get yourself a bird buddy immediately. do you want a friend code, I will GIVE you a friend code, I think it gives you a bonus mini-pet or something if you use it. ), and also set myself MANY a phone alarm to remind myself of things that I need to do in case I space out or get distracted by somebody/something/the specific phase of the moon.

Did you take your meds? Take your fucking MEDS, self, good LORD.

Leave the house even if for literally, like, thirty seconds to just stand in some actual natural light. Or leave the house to go eat at a cafe or library or fast food place and just put yourself in a new environment for literally any length of time whatsoever.

Switch pens. Switch notebooks. Get a NEW notebook. Use your laptop instead. Use your PHONE instead. Get a nicer notebook. Get a shittier notebook. Use the scratch paper at work. Use the Procreate app on your friggin' iPad if you gotta, whatever, you do what you want!!

Don't write!!

Seriously just don't, go watch an actual scripted TV show or movie or read a book or a comic or some fic. Feed your brain something you didn't have to make up yourself.

Come up with a convoluted way to trick yourself into being accountable to someone else. Join a writing group. Make a Tumblr post about how you're gonna go write now. Ask Tumblr for their opinion on what you should write now. Ask Tumblr to spin this random wheel spinner game you generated and tell you what answer they got, and then write THAT.

HAVE you had a snack? Did you eat breakfast? Did you eat lunch? Did you remember to move around the house at any point whatsoever during the day? Maybe like, do that. Like, at least the snack part. Maybe a stretch or something wouldn't hurt either though.

Meal prep is so fucking useful and saves you SO much annoying time and also, like, makes you eat actual veggies and fruit and shit, genuinely actually works, the gym bros were not wrong, go figure. Also then you don't have to think about what you're gonna eat all the time and then cook it and then clean up and then--yeah anyway meal prep, god bless it. Once a week I make a batch of pasta salad and roast a pan of good-when-roasted veggies with like, garlic and salt and pepper and some olive oil and add bacon after, and then I portion it all into tupperware and in the morning I add spinach or crack an egg into that day's share of veggies for breakfast and maybe make some toast, and just grab one of the pasta salads whenever I want something lunch-like. It saves SO much time and distraction when you are hurting for free time/focus. So, SO much.

Unfortunately the gym bros were also correct about exercise, if that's doable for you. Exercise does in fact make you feel better and more energized and less depressed, fuck those guys for being right about that shit. Assuming you have enough iron in your blood to actually, like, do it, which admittedly I frequently do not, but the point stands.

Dude why are you even trying to write, you're so tired, go to bed and get up early, you write SO much better in the mornings anyway.

Hey, I know that's how you USED to write, but like, is that actually how you write right now? Is that actually even what works for you anymore? Actually maybe outlines COULD be helpful or maybe you don't need all those worldbuilding notes all at once; maybe your inner architect needs to let the building decay and go back to nature or maybe your inner gardener has developed a taste for trellises, metaphorically speaking and all.

Please eat something. Also please DRINK something. Like ideally water but we'll go for anything that involves a liquid, seriously.

Hey did you know actually if you ONLY eat instant ramen and microwave pizza you'll probably get scurvy and die instead of, like, writing your magnum opus? Like probably?? Put a fucking egg in that ramen, man! Slice up a scallion in that bitch!! EAT AN ACTUAL WHOLE FRUIT or at least, like, buy a smoothie with actual fruit involved somewhere in it on occasional. The whole fruit, unfortunately, is better. I like apples. Apples take a REAL long time to rot if I forget they exist for a couple weeks or whatever. But like, mango smoothies are also the shit, can't turn down a mango smoothie or a good strawberry-banana. Hey did you know the grocery store just, like, will let you just buy one single apple and they don't give a fuck? You're free! The cashier won't remember you in five minutes!! Buy your one single apple and work your way up to maybe two apples next time!! Also now I want an apple!!!!

Don't write. Don't write THAT. Write the other thing. No, the OTHER other thing. No, not THAT other other thing.

The rules are made up and the points don't matter.

Fuck it, we ball.

[ INSERT FULL-THROTTLE STIMMING BEHAVIOR HERE ]

Only God can judge me and I'm still technically agnostic.

God, that's the weirdest fucking idea you've ever had, literally NO ONE but you would read it. So you should write 180k of it and also make it even weirder and yes it will absolutely be the one fic that just about everyone in MCU fandom who knows you exist knows you for, don't even worry about it, this isn't based on a true story at all.

Actually you could probably storyboard this scene to figure out wtf is happening here. Or like just draw literally anything related to this story, a bit of that might work some kinks out of the whole process.

Did you get that snack yet?

Hey go pet your dog, she's very soft and wants attention and also her OWN snack. Pet your dog and eat an apple and idk watch some anime or a weird niche documentary or an even more niche reality show, have you seen Deep-Fried Dynasty yet, it's on Hulu and was surprisingly engrossing.

Why are you even following the rules, we've been over this, they are made up and the points do NOT matter, and also you're not even getting graded for this anyway.

Yeah okay that thing you wrote sucked, but it turns out that Dean Koontz somehow has a writing career and also Twilight happened to all of us, so actually even the suckiest thing you ever write is gonna be better than the perfect ideal of the scene in your head, because the suckiest thing you ever write is something OTHER people can READ. And again: Dean Koontz has a career. Colleen HOOVER has a career. And fucking good for them, they're killing it, they are fucking WRITING!! Who gives a damn anyway, fix it in editing if you're that worried about it, they call it a rough draft for a reason.

Hey if that thing doesn't work you can just, like, delete it. Or rewrite it. Or stick it in your back pocket and do something else for a while. The sunk-cost fallacy is bullshit and you don't have to listen to it.

Maybe drink some more caffeine, that'll calm you down. [ DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE OF ADVICE TAILORED TO A PERSON WITH MORE ADHD THAN LITERALLY NINETY-FIVE PERCENT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD; THAT PERCENTAGE IS ON THE ACTUAL LEGITIMATE DIAGNOSTIC PAPERWORK ]

Seriously you can just write anything you want, nobody can stop you. Only God can judge me and I'm still technically agnostic enough that that's like, thirty-seventy odds at BEST.

God that idea is so niche and weird and niche, better tone it the fuck down to--oh wait no mass appeal means you're writing popcorn and literally no one will remember it in five minutes anyway, stop reflexively censoring yourself for some imaginary audience that will just chew straight through your one-size-fits-all story for The Content(tm) and then immediately move onto the next one without even bothering to hit "kudos" or remember anything about it later. I have written shit so weird that people still remember how weird I was TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER, man, and that is why literally anyone will EVER remember that you exist or wanna read your stuff or follow you to a new fandom where they don't even know the source material, fuck it, they'll wiki some shit. And also who cares anyway, it's YOUR stuff and YOU wanna read it. Your agnostically-possible god did not make you this weird and niche for no reason, don't pussy out now!!

Actually you can just write in the bath/on the bus/while waiting for your roommate to finish up with the guy running this estate sale. You've got your phone, right? Fuck it, pack a notebook. Pack an extra notebook. Pack a smaller notebook. Pack a BIGGER notebook.

It's not stupid if it works. You don't have to do what literally ANYONE else is doing, you just have to do what works.

You can literally just skip to the good part and write that, actually. Nobody's gonna throw you in writer-jail. What are we, cops?? Actually do you even need this lead-up here or do you just need to write this one specific blorbo gettin' laid REAL enthusiastically kinkily and/or maybe having a nervous breakdown sobfest over their perception of their personal self-worth and everything else is kinda just window dressing??

I mentioned the snack thing, right? Also sugar rushes are fake but sugar CRASHES are real so maybe be a little careful on that one, maybe buy some trail mix/jerky/smoked salmon, smoked salmon is SO good, smoked salmon is just objectively delicious.

Go talk somebody's ear off about what you're trying to write about. Bonus points if you can find somebody who matches your freak enough that you write, uhhhhh /checks smudged writing on wrist/ a 60k Overwatch fic in two weeks and also like 280k of Witcher fic in less than a year specifically because they're just a real good cheerleader. Wow. Wow that was a lot more Witcher fic than I was aware I had written. THE POINT IS LOOK FOR A WRITING BUDDY, WRITING BUDDIES ARE THE SHIT.

If the writing buddy doesn't work out though the first time I won NaNoWriMo I did it directly out of spite because someone said they didn't think I actually would. So like, spite is always an option, you can always keep that one on tap if you gotta.

Stephen King did not write "On Writing" because he didn't want you to write. Francesca Lia Block did not introduce you to the weirdest and gayest shit teenage!you had ever read so you'd grow up and be a fucking NORMIE about this shit. SIR TERRY PRATCHETT DID NOT WRITE LIKE SIXTEEN OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME BECAUSE HE DID NOT WANT YOU TO WRITE WHAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY FRICKIN' INTO.

Clean your room. No, better than that. Okay fuck it just set a ten-minute timer and do what you can in that time, we work with the spoons we've got.

Random number generator. Random color generator. Random "hey followers here's a very oblique poll, don't even worry about what it's about, just click a button please and thank you".

Did you know the internet will just GIVE you free graphs/trackers/bullet journal page designs and you can just print 'em out and do whatever the heck you want with 'em?? Yes my new little "color in the squares every day you do the thing" tracker IS just six daily writing tasks and two daily "just go pick some stuff up in this specific room" tasks and that is MY BUSINESS, MS. SIR AND MR. MADAM AND MX. [ INSERT BUZZER SOUND ]. And also, like, has done much better at getting me to do chores than anything else has in a minute, go fig.

You can actually just do whatever you want forever.

Literally, like just forever.

Fuck, how many times HAVE you done this? You'll never get better for good, it'll always go bad again, you'll always get sick again, you'll always get SAD again, you'll always fucking forget how to even DO this again and have to start all over.

Well yes, obviously, because you'll always have done it again. So do it again. One more time.

( seriously though did you take your meds-- )

[alpaca-clouds]

How do gods, vampires and the afterlife work in Castlevania?

Okay, now with Castlevania: Nocturne season 2 I absolutely get to speculate a bit more about how the worldbuilding in the world of this anime actually works.

To catch everyone up with my speculations up until this point, let me quickly get you to speed. So far I assumed the following:

Vampires in this world probably go back to some sort of magic or alchemy, which has to have happened before 1500 BC (given that we know Morana was turned around that time).

There is only one afterlife, where every soul ends up, no matter what they believed in and what they did in life.

At least the "old gods" are real, possibly by some variation of the "clap your hands if you believe" rules. Meaning: It is possible that gods have started to exist, because people believed in them.

So, let me quickly go over the different aspects - on the basis of what we now know from Nocturne season 2.

Vampires

Now, we definitely do not get any answer so far with the question of where vampires come from in this universe. But we got a confirmation for a suspicion that I had all the time: There were not vampires in the Americas before colonial contact. (Though I might note, that this also means that the excuse a variety of people used to make up for the fact that the first four seasons had tomatoes and bell peppers - vampires had already been to America - was also wrong.)

In Nocturne we also do not only see one person being turned into a vampire, but in fact three different people. Tera, Drolta and Mizrak.

From this we can gather that generally speaking the universe works under the established rule of the "baptism of blood", as established in the Dracula novel. Meaning: If a vampire wants to turn someone else into a vampire, that person usually needs to be bitten first, before needing to drink the blood of the vampire. This seems to hold true for Tera and Mizrak at least - though we do not technically see Olrox feed Mizrak his blood, though it seems to be implied.

Drolta in this regard is interesting. Because from the sequence that sees her turned, she does not seem to get bitten. While the vampire injures her, there does not seem to be a bite. She only gets some of his blood and drinks it of her own volition.

I have seen some speculation if there needs to be some will or want involved in the turning of a vampire because of this. Does someone have to want to be a vampire - or at least want to not die? I am not sure, but it is interesting.

We also know with season clearly that whatever we assume a soul is: Vampires have it.

Other than that... We do not know how often vampires need to feed. However, given that we know they can journey over the Atlantic, it is probably not quite as much, given that the travel between Europe and the Americas in the time took about three to four weeks, and if a vampire would need to feed too often, I doubt that would end well. (Vampire feeding for the most part is a very logistical problem - but that is a topic for another day.)

Other than that, it seems that outside of the general inability to go out into direct sunlight, most typical vampire weaknesses do not seem to apply. They can go into churches, they seem to have a reflection in the mirror, and they can cross water no problem.

The Afterlife

So, from the very beginning I have been firm on one thing: While everything the show establishes seems to suggest that there is heaven and hell, I do not believe this. I was very sold on the idea that there is only one afterlife basically since the beginning, but especially since season 3.

The reason are two: Firstly, we know of at least one vampire in this world (Morana) who very much predates the concept of hell, which only came up in the 4th century. Sure, technically you can argue that Hinduism and some other religions also have a hell or a "bad place" to go after death, but generally, hell as known in Abrahamitic believes only came up in the 4th century. Given this is the case and this world does not ignore the fact that the rest of the darn world exists, it would make a lot of sense if hell was not real.

Secondly, we know the stories of two people ending up in hell, that in my understanding should not be there. That is Lisa for once, and also FlysEyes. I am sorry, but for what sin is Lisa supposed to be in hell? And she definitely is in the same place as Dracula, who definitely should be in hell, given the whole genocide and murder hobo thing. The same holds true for FlysEyes. Did he betray his friends? Yes, but he did so under torture. I am sorry, but I am not gonna assume that God really was so darn petty. Isaac also points that out in the dialogue.

However, Nocturne does bring up another possibility. And this possibility is, that this works rather under a varation of the "Clap your Hands" rules, specifically the one that American Gods seems to use. Which is basically: There is tons of different afterlives, and you will end up in whatever afterlife you align with the most. The reason for this obviously is, that we definitely know that the Ancestral Plane (a variation of which is part of a variety of both African and Asian religions) is a thing, as well as the Duat from Egyptian mythology.

And if we go by those "Clap your Hands" rules, it is obviously possible that FlysEyes ended up in what he perceived to be hell, because he felt guilty for betraying his friends, while Lisa might have wanted to go to hell, to meet with her husband again eventually. This would be interesting of course, because it would then mean that Mizrak would indeed have ended up in hell - just because he felt that he should.

The big question is, what this means right now for Forgemastery. We know at the very least that even vampire souls can be called back through it - both Drolta, and the resurrection of Dracula in the end of SV S4 proof this. But do souls for Forgemastery actually have to come from hell, or could forgemastery actually draw them from any hell whatsoever? That would be interesting to know.

Gods

In terms of the gods, Nocturne definitely so far implies some things about them. We definitely know now, that at least some of the "Old Gods" (I kinda love that the terminology used is the same one I keep using - not gonna lie here) are real. Namely we definitely know that Sekhmet, and Ogun exist, as well as Karfu and Papa Legba. If we all are not wrong about Olrox's background, Quetzalcoatl also very much exists or existed at some point. We also absolutely have some implications that at least some of the Christian demons and devils seem to exist to some extent. We already saw those fallen angels escape hell back in season 3, and now we have some more implications for maybe some other devils might exist for real too.

Ironically speaking though, we have so far absolutely no proof in one direction or the other, whether the Abrahamitic God with a capital-G exists in this world or not. Which I kinda understand - it is an iffy question to deal with in writing.

The question is, by which mechanic the gods exist. Does it work by "Clap your Hands if you Believe"? Or is there another mechanic that keeps them existing and presumably immortal? What happens to Gods, if nobody is left to believe in them? What happens if even their names are forgotten?

I talked a lot already about the Gaulic gods, who are a really prime example for this. There is plenty of gods from the Celtic pantheon of whom we found depictions in art, where we do not have the slightest idea how they are named, what their function was and so on. We know: "Someone painted this deity onto some pictures/made some statues" but that's all we know. What would this mean for this world?

It would be an interesting thing to find out. I wonder if we will ever learn this, should there be a season 3 or possibly another Castlevania series.

[normspellsman]

Truly & Honestly

part one | part two | part three | part four (wip)

pairing: ao’nung x fem!sully!reader, lo’ak x twin sister!reader, & jake sully x daughter!reader

genre: angsty, comfort (from jake to reader), fluff, ao’nung being a simp for the reader, & the twins make up (yay!)

word count: 3.9k+

warning(s): jake feeling like he’s not an adequate father, lo’ak still in his self loathing era, lo’ak missing his twin :(, ao’nung growling, the sully twins crying, kissing, & reader + ao’nung being cute af

word bank: kehe — no, skxawng — moron; idiot, sempul — father, sempu — daddy (term of endearment), eywa / great mother — goddess deity that the na’vi believe in, paysyul — water lily, & sayrìp — handsome

taglist: @aonungsmate @dearstell @optimisticblazetrash @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @goodiesinthecloset21 @universal-s1ut @amortencjja @liyahsocorro @minkyungseokie @chshshhshshshshshshshs

note: kinda rushed the end bc i struggled with figuring out what lo’ak should say & the reader should respond with & this is what i came up with. hope i did it justice & well enough. i swear i never read or written the words gently & softly so many times in my life holy shit 🧍🏻. anyway, the long awaited part three is finally here! yayyy! enjoy lovelies <3

It had been days since the last time you talked to Lo’ak, ignoring him everywhere you went.

At first, he avoided you too, trying to gather his thoughts and think of a way to apologize to you. He tried a couple of things that worked back when you both were children. He made you a new armband that matched his, but he didn’t see you wearing it the next day. He then made you a small trinket to add to your ever growing collection of random shit you found, but it was right where he left it the next day. He then tried to talk to you but all he received in return was your silence and Ao’nung’s small growls in warning for him to step away. Lo’ak felt like he was going to circles. He felt utterly hopeless.

It wasn’t long until both of your parents and remaining siblings realized your avoidance towards each other. Neteyam had failed to tell Jake and Neytiri about what happened that fateful night, in turn disregarding telling Kiri and Tuk. He wanted Lo’ak to tell them for himself or at least have you confront them about it and receive comfort from them. But he knew the both of you were too stubborn to ask help from your parents, so one night he asks no one in particular if they knew why you were, yet again, staying over in Tsireya and Ao’nung’s marui pod.

His question made Lo’ak freeze and nearly choke on the food that was halfway down his throat, harshly swallowing in discomfort.

Neytiri was deeply disturbed by your absence. She missed you dearly. She asked you many times as to why you were never around and you never gave her the truth, wanting Lo’ak to do it on his own. You’d always give her an answer of Tsireya is offering me extra breathing lessons, it’s just easier if I stay over for dinner tonight or Tsireya and I wanted a sleep over. Neytiri always frowned at your answers, knowing that you weren’t telling her the truth. But she never pried. She knew that you would tell her the true reason someday so she let you stay with Tsireya as long as you needed.

Jake didn’t realize your distance until nearly a week after the fight. He had been too caught up in his training with Tonowari and making sure that Quaritch was nowhere near Awa’atlu to comprehend your absence from the family for one too many nights. But once he did, he felt uneasy. He knew you like the back of his hand. He had to. You’re his first born daughter, it was expected of him to. He was always the first person you’d run to whenever you had any kind of problem, confiding in him for a solution or aid. It warmed his heart that he was the first person you came to in time of need, made him feel wanted and loved. So when he saw you barely glance at Lo’ak or even say goodbye to them before heading off to wherever you had in mind, he felt unease settle itself on to his chest. He knew something was wrong and wanted to know what it was, but didn’t want to pry it out of you. It wouldn’t work. He felt helpless and wanted to figure out whatever was wrong so you’d stop distancing yourself from the family. He just wanted his little girl back.

The night Neteyam had asked that question, made Neytiri and Jake pop up in interest and repeat the question to their circle of children.

Lo’ak wanted to tear his older brothers head off right then and there. He didn’t need his parents meddling in both of your business. This was something between him and you, not your parents.

Kiri and Tuk had also realized your absence but didn’t give it too much thought. You always hung out with them at your guys spot and interacted with them. Yeah they found it odd that you rarely slept in the family pod and if you did, you were the first person awake and out of the house. So Neteyam’s question piqued their interest.

It took a lot of prying on Neteyam’s part to finally get the truth out of Lo’ak, but once he did, shit hit the fan.

“Kehe!” Neytiri gasped out, truly surprised at her sons words, “You did not!”.

She thought she raised both of her sons to respect all women, especially the ones in their lives. She couldn’t believe that her own son called his own twin a slut. And for what? Seeing the Olo’eyktan’s son and not telling a single soul about it? Neytiri was flabbergasted at the news.

“Boy,” Jake growled, beyond pissed at his sons previous actions and lack of communication about what occurred. He didn’t even need to ask Lo’ak about whether what he said was true or not, it was written on his face that he was guilty.

He found himself disappointed in his son, perhaps even more so than he usually was whenever he heard or caught Lo’ak doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Jake had made sure to instill how he and Neteyam should treat every woman they came into contact with, continuously reminding them to behave accordingly and treat them with respect no matter what. So to hear that his son had called you, his sister, a slut for seeing a boy, made his blood boil. I’d ought to show that boy how humans would treat him, he thought in response.

“I know,” Lo’ak croaked out, on the verge of tears. His guilt was eating at him everyday, practically being the only emotion he felt for nearly the past two weeks. “I know what I said was completely out of line. I was angry and that isn’t an excuse for what I said. I am desperately trying to make it up to (Y/N), but nothing’s working. I’m going in circles trying to,” he finished, tears running down his cheeks.

Lo’ak knows that he shouldn’t be crying. That he doesn’t deserve to. That he doesn’t deserve anyone's pity for what he did. But the guilt ate away at him and he couldn’t help but cry. He just wanted you to forgive him and be his twin again, his other half. He felt incomplete without you by his side. It physically hurt to have you avoid him and not have you next to him.

Tuk had wiggled her way into Lo’ak’s lap in order to comfort him, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck as he cried into her shoulder.

Every Sully member could see just how much Lo’ak regretted saying what he did. They felt bad that he was feeling the way he did but they also knew that he deserved your avoidance and distance. It was the only way that would allow Lo’ak to see the impact of his words.

———

You were laying on the soft, warm sand below you when a shadow covered the suns soft rays, blocking them and covering you in its coolness.

You quickly opened your eyes to see who it was and to shoo them away, not in the mood. But your mouth quickly shut itself once you saw your Sempul hover over your relaxed figure, a small smile on his face.

“Sun bathing?” He asked, sitting next to you as you sat yourself up.

You only shrugged in response, wrapping your arms around your legs and pulling them up to your chest.

You felt bad for essentially ignoring all of your family members, but it was the only way to get it through Lo’ak’s thick skull the kind of impact his words had on you.

Your Father hums and looks out to the water line, silence overtaking the moment for a few beats. Until he finally speaks.

“Lo’ak told me,” he starts, “About what happened that night. Don’t worry. I gave him a stern talking to,” he continued, giving you a small smirk at his words.

Jake’s stern talking to’s almost always involved him dragging one of his children somewhere, yelling at them for Eywa knows what they did, and giving them some sort of punishment that will go on for however long Jake deems necessary. You found yourself wondering what punishment your brother got for his actions.

“I figured,” you chuckled, still looking out towards the water line in front of you.

“I’m sorry, babygirl. I know that it shouldn’t be me apologizing, but,” Jake says, tip of his tail swishing back and forth a bit before resting by your siding, curling itself around you gently for comfort, “Your brother is a complete skxawng. And I’m sorry for…not instilling it in Lo’ak’s brain enough to not call anyone, you that.”.

Your head whips towards your Fathers direction at his words.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for, sempu,” you replied, eyebrows furrowed together, “Lo’ak is a skxawng and said something he shouldn’t have. He knew what he was doing and none of that reflects your teachings.”.

Jake could almost scoff at how wise you sounded. Since when did you become so wise?

Your Father only hummed in response. He wanted the best for his little girls, for you. And to hear that his own son had insulted his daughter and took his words to heart made him feel as if he wasn't adequate enough as a Father. He spent so many years craving for a family of his own before he was sent to Pandora, knowing that it wasn’t possible in his human condition. And once he finally got it, he felt over the moon. He wanted his children to love and respect each other, something that was a struggle for him and Tommy growing up. So being in this current predicament and having you and Lo’ak avoiding each other like the plague, made him feel as if he wasn’t successful in emphasizing how important family was to his children.

“I think you should hear him out,” Jake whispers to you, turning his head to face you, smiling gently down at you, “You don’t have to now. But, soon. Whenever you feel like it,” he reassured.

Your lips pierced together into a thin line, head nodding at his words.

You know that you should give Lo’ak some benefit of the doubt and at least listen to what he has to say, but it’s hard. The last thing your brother said to you were words that caused severe distress to your psyche. To be honest, you were terrified to see what he had to say. To see if he truly meant it or not.

“I’ll try,” you replied.

Your Father continued to look down at you as he smiled, bringing you into his side as he placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head. You laid your head on his shoulder in response.

“So, Ao’nung, huh?” Jake snorts out, teasing you.

“Dad!” You groaned out, covering your face with your hands as you lightly shoved him away, earning a loud cackle from your Father.

———

You were with Ao’nung when Lo’ak approached you for the first time in nearly two weeks.

Ao’nung had taken you out on a date around the island, as he usually did just to show how much he adored you. It almost always consisted of Ao’nung taking you to one of the many jewelry stands the Metkayina jewelers had out, telling you to pick whichever necklace, bracelet, or armband your heart desired and gently putting it on you once you budged, walking with you hand in hand around the island, twirling you around as you two danced to his light humming and singing, and finally going for a swim to wrap up your time together. Even though the dates were repetitive and always the same, they never failed to make you smile from ear to ear and warm your heart. It was something that you and Ao’nung did together to enjoy each other’s company. It was nice.

The both of you were spinning and dancing around in the warm sand as your boyfriend softly sang a song his Sa’nok used to sing to him when he had trouble sleeping, the melody being gentle and delicate, a perfect song just to waltz or sway to.

Ao’nung pulled you into his chest, slightly leaning down to grasp your hands against his lean chest, dipping his head down so you were face to face. He continued to sing the song as he smiled, rough hands slowly moving from your hands on his chest to your shoulders down towards your back before resting against your hips, pulling you in even closer.

You giggled at the ticklish sensation Ao’nung’s hands left on your skin as they just barely grazed it, moving your arms to wrap them around the back of his neck, fingers making their way into his curly hair. Your fingers gently run through the loose ends of his bun before messaging the scalp underneath his usual hairstyle, elevating some of the pressure from the tightness of it.

The Metkayina boy shivered at your soft and slow touch, nuzzling his forehead against yours as the two of you swayed in the gentle breeze.

“You look so pretty, my paysyul,” Ao’nung whispered out, blue eyes deeply gazing into your amber ones. He loved calling you new pet names, enjoying the soft blush that spread itself across your cheeks and neck once you processed what he called you. You loved the nicknames he gave you as well, making your stomach churn in excitement and never failed to make you smile in adoration. He truly did love you and he expresses that in many different ways, pet names being at the top of the list.

A light purple hue painted itself across your cheeks and down your neck in response to your lovers nickname. “And you look so sayrìp, Ma’Nung,” you whispered back, smiling up at the boy.

The teen boy purred out at your response, softly rubbing his face into the side of your head, kissing the arch of your eyebrow.

Ao’nung halted his singing and humming for a moment, basking in the silence and blissful peace that settled itself into the moment. Everything in his life was so quiet and peaceful the minute you arrived on Awa’atlu. He didn’t know he could feel such peace with a singular person and he was glad that he felt it with you.

But, unfortunately, much like the event that occurred days prior, Lo’ak had to ruin it with the loud clearing of his throat.

A cold chill ran up and down your spine at the sound, stopping all movement you and Ao’nung were doing. A small growl emitted itself from the Metkayina’s throat, grip on your hips getting tighter as he pulled you closer into his embrace. It was a clear warning to Lo’ak to stay away from you and leave the two of you alone.

“Can I talk to you, (Y/N)?” Your brother asked, standing a good couple of feet away from the both of you.

Lo’ak had worked up a lot of nerve to approach your figures once he caught sight of the two of you dancing. He didn’t want to ruin the moment the both of you were sharing but he knew that if he didn’t go to you and try to talk to you now, he never would. So, he gathered up all the courage he could muster and made his way to you, hyping himself up on the way.

“Leave, Lo’ak,” Ao’nung hissed out, angling you away from your twin, “She doesn’t want to speak with you.”.

“I wasn’t speaking to you, fish lips,” Lo’ak argued, growling out. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be speaking for you when he wasn’t the one who decided things for you.

Another growl left Ao’nung’s lips as he glared at the Omatikaya boy, anger creeping up his throat. Your brother shouldn’t be speaking to you if you didn’t want him to, especially after what he said to you.

“Ao’nung,” you mumbled out, hands now on his chest, pushing him back slightly.

Much like your brother, you knew that if you didn’t talk to him at this moment, you most likely never will. You needed to nip this thing in the butt sooner than later.

You nodded at your boyfriend, telling him to stand down and give you and your brother some space, that it was okay to leave you alone with him.

Ao’nung only huffed in response, eyes narrowing at Lo’ak behind you. Before he parted ways with you, he captured your lips into a kiss, running the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip before pulling back, not giving you time to respond to his light teasing.

“Our spot after? Twenty after eclipse?” He softly asked, thumb running over your cheekbone as he grasped your face in his hands. He wasn’t very happy that your brother interrupted your alone time and didn’t want to leave you alone with the one that deeply hurt you, but he trusted your opinion and respected your wishes, no questions asked.

You hummed as a response to Ao’nung’s request. There was no way that you weren’t going to tell your boyfriend how this conversation was going to go. Albeit the tension only being between you and your brother, Ao’nung was very much involved as you were.

Once Ao’nung became only a speck in your eyesight, you finally turned around to face your brother.

“Yes?” You asked, arms folding over your chest in an attempt to protect and hold yourself together. You had no idea where this conversation was going to go and that made you anxious.

Lo’ak took a deep breath in before he breathed it out, quickly gathering and preparing himself before he opened his mouth to speak.

“I know apologizing, no matter how many times I do it, isn’t going to change what I said and the way it affected you. But, I am deeply sorry about what I said to you, about you. There is no excuse. I have no excuse,” he started, tears stinging his waterline, “I was so angry at that moment that common sense was thrown out of the window. I don’t even know why I called you that. I was just so angry that you were with Ao’nung, someone who made it quite clear that we were freaks and were not welcomed here. I know that he had been different after leaving me at the reef, which I could assume is around the time you two got together.”.

You nodded at his guess, confirming.

“But I still didn’t trust him. I thought he somehow managed to manipulate you into falling for him. That he was forcing you. It was the first thought that popped into my head when I saw you two that night. I couldn’t comprehend that someone like you, my sweet and caring sister, could fall for someone like Ao’nung, a mean bully who took pleasure in causing pain to others. Confusion and anger clouded my vision. I just…” he paused, a couple of tears had already dropped down his face, “I know that I am shitty at apologies and can never accurately get out my thoughts, but I am sorry for causing you so much pain from my words. I am such a shit brother and you shouldn’t accept my apology. This past week has been awful. I felt incomplete without you. You felt miles away when in reality, you were only feet away. There was this…emptiness inside of me whenever you weren’t by my side. Everything felt wrong without you there to experience it with me.”.

“I desperately missed you. So much. It physically hurt me to not have you by my side. It made me realize that my words and actions do have consequences and that I wasn’t going to escape this situation scott free. Dad gave me the worst scolding that I’ve ever gotten. He told me that I was really fucking stupid and ignorant with my words. That he and Mom raised me better,” a chuckle escaped from your lips at that sentence, only imagining the type of scolds and hisses Lo’ak received from both of your parents.

“Yeah, you were really stupid to say that,” you replied, arms still crossed against your chest but a small smirk on your lips this time. It was nice to hear from him that he was punished by your Father, solidifying what he had told you earlier. But you still felt somewhat bad for him, knowing how angry and intense your Father can get when dishing out punishments.

Lo’ak chuckled at your acknowledgment, wiping away a couple of tears that continued to run down his face. He wanted for days to hear your voice and for you to acknowledge him. He felt relieved that you were talking to him and actually were listening to what he had to say, even if he didn’t deserve to be heard.

“I’m so sorry. You are not what I said you were. You are not slut. There is no excuse for what I did and I know that I can’t take it back or make it up to you in any way that will undo the damage I did. But I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will do anything,” he finished, eyes never leaving yours.

The smirk fell off your face after he was done and silence overcame the two of you for a couple of beats.

“What you said really hurt me, Lo’ak,” you started, arms uncrossing from your chest, “It really fucked me up for a while. The intensity of your words made me truly believe your words. I know now that you didn’t mean them but in the moment, it felt like you did. I avoided you to teach you a lesson. To teach you that what you said was not okay. I am sorry for making you feel that kind of pain from my absence. I felt the same too. There were too many times where I wanted to just give up and go and just sit by you to ease it, but I knew that would defeat the purpose of what I was trying to get through your insanely thick skull.”.

The both of you laughed at your childish insult, more tears running down the both of your cheeks.

“But,” you continued, “I forgave you the minute it happened, Lo. I forgive you. I just needed to teach you a lesson and make sure it actually stuck and made an impact,” you finished, hands grasping your brothers.

Lo’ak smiled down at you from his height, lips quivering as he did so. To hear that you forgave him immediately after it happened was relieving but also made him regret his words even more. You were so kind and forgiving to him when he felt like he didn’t even deserve it.

“I love you, sister,” he whispers, bringing you into his warm embrace, one hand going behind your head to pull it into his chest while the other one went around your waist.

“I love you too, brother,” you replied back, accepting his hug and wrapping your arms around his back.

The two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, hugging as the waves softly lapped against the shore.

It felt good to have your brother back and to finally hug him again after all this time, the emptiness the both of you felt from each other’s absences now replaced with warmth and comfort.

You couldn’t wait to meet up with Ao’nung later and tell him all about your conversation.

[sonkitty]

Trickery 2: Going Nowhere - Post #9 - Tone of Voice

To close out this series, I'd like to go back to the question of if Crowley knew about Beelzebub and Gabriel and if so, when? I will not have an answer.

But still...I'd like to start from focusing on when he said, "Tone of voice" to Aziraphale.

When Crowley enters the coffee shop to talk to Aziraphale, his first question is, "Right, what's the problem?"

In those letters, we can find "Gabriel" whereas for "Beelzebub's name," we can only get a b, e, and l. That at least gives us a Rule of Three.

Now Crowley is thinking of Aziraphale's problem, not Gabriel's problem.

But my point is it's there and let's see what comes next.

Soon after, to explain to Aziraphale how he knows there is a problem he says, "Tone of voice. You have three reasons for calling me: you're bored, you need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop, or something's wrong. This was your Something's Wrong voice."

One of the things this answer tells us is that Crowley listens to a person's tone of voice, this time Aziraphale in particular. He makes it known that's what he does.

Later on in S2E1, Beelzebub partially manifests in Crowley's car, and one of their lines is, "I suppose you're wondering why I called you here."

Shax called Crowley first by phone in the episode; once they spoke in person, Shax revealed events are transpiring related to Gabriel. Aziraphale called Crowley second by phone earlier, then revealed Gabriel is in the bookshop. Now Beelzebub calls on Crowley.

The base word "call" is used in all three scenes. Crowley knows he has a third call, even if this one is not by phone.

He does not tell Beelzebub that yeah, he is wondering. He never asks at all. If he's trying to think of the answer on his own, he can make some guesses, especially with the previous two calls and knowing Gabriel is in the bookshop at the time. Among those guesses he can think of the 3 reasons he gave Aziraphale and the information from Shax.

He acknowledges that he is listening in particular to the things Beelzebub says when he acknowledges, "Doesn't actually sound like the sort of thing you're likely to say." The "s" in "sound" is drawn out further than the others in his words.

While Beelzebub's voice has changed with their new face, they do still have at least one line where one could reasonably guess that the tone of voice means Something's Wrong. That line starts with, "Well, wherever he is, you find Gabriel for me and, and you can have whatever your nasty little heart desires." Then it continues onto what they are "hearing."

Little clues in the scene are pointing to the listening and the hearing and that Crowley is taking those things into consideration.

...

For this series of posts, I gave parts of a study I did for Nina's "love lives," line. Just before she says that line, Crowley himself had noticeably shifted his tone of voice lower when he said, "I know," in "He's just an angel I know."

The "know" sounds like "no." The post I made, No?, was part of trying to figure out with when he repeats the word "no," if that's a clue to Crowley actually knowing about this couple.

So, did Crowley know about Gabriel and Beelzebub? I think that yes, he did.

If so, how far back does this knowledge go?

I'm still hesitant on an earlier mentioned idea, but I can can say that yeah, he possibly connects the dots in response to Nina's "love lives" line since it hits so close to home with him and Aziraphale.

Yet, the story gives clues Crowley made this connection before that with his repeat "no" usage in S2E1 and having repeat "no" usage as a clue when he made the goats fly in the memory from 2500 BC.

I can make up a story, as told through Crowley and Muriel having a lineage connection, to fill in some blanks, but I remain uncertain about that story.

How much are supernatural precognition and memory wiping factors into what happened?

When it comes to Earthly Objects, I know, as much as it can feasibly be done, that there is an Earthly Objects game in the story. I know there are 6 Threshold Tricks. I know Crowley has Tied Hands. I know there is a Rainbow Connection. I know the sideburns are used to manage Crowley's personal space based on the context.

But when it comes to these other questions...

I still don't know so many things.

One of the reasons I think there are 2 timelines is because of a Rule of Three met regarding the root word "week" in the dialogue.

In S2E1, Maggie tells Aziraphale she can be out of the record shop in 2 weeks. They keep talking, and then she says she can be out of there next week. The amount of time shifted in her dialogue. If that were just one thing, it would be odd but okay, fine, she means 1-2 weeks.

In S2E6, Nina asks Aziraphale, "This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it?" His answer is that it all started a long time ago but also yes. The story, as it is given, looks to happen over the course of a few days that are probably a Monday through a Friday. You have to figure out pieces of Storming Out, Crowley's scene with Shax in the park, and the Heaven recordings to guess at what might be Saturday and Sunday.

In S2E5, Crowley does not reference next week or a last week. He says "weeks" regarding the Standard Rules of Engagement for some rule he made up. But that does allow the "week" root word to meet a Rule of Three in mention across 3 different episodes by 3 different characters for each mention.

I am rather stubborn on thinking there are 2 timelines. The "week" part above is a significant source to that, further built on by other little clues. Still, it's a knowing closer to how I knew the Heaven elevator was a third bigger threshold. I just knew. To say I know there are two timelines is slightly pushing it but not by much.

I think the week reset.

Who reset it? I don't know. Crowley? The Metatron? Both?

Why was it reset? I don't know. Is there more than one Big Miracle being managed in a hidden way? Why would the Metatron reset it? If the Threshold Tricks happened twice, Aziraphale left in both timelines, so the Metatron would have gotten them separated like he presumably wanted.

I think the Book of Life is invisible and in the matchbox in Heaven, possibly enclosed within a Book of Lie as the outer box. Maybe I'm being misled. Maybe it got magically teleported out before the end. But if I'm right...did the Metatron figure it out?

A recent idea I came up with is that there are 3 supernatural objects in play, not just the Book of Life. The Holy Grail would be in the statue of Gabriel in Edinburgh. The Spear of Destiny would be in some object in the bookshop, such as the yellow feather duster. I'm not very committed to this idea, and it definitely feels like something that would have to be redone or undone with the finale situation being what it is.

Is Aziraphale's smile in the elevator a good omen or a bad omen?

By now, I think it's both. I know that other people have compared that smile to the one he has after successfully tempting Mr. Arnold into going to the ball with the idea they are the same smile. In my opinion, no, they are not. Still other people have described that smile as not reaching his eyes, and I'm inclined to agree. The eyes do not narrow as much on the middle lower part.

Maybe Aziraphale is having his memory wiped or his being reprogrammed, but that's a smile of fear, as best I can imitate it myself as an actress.

At the same time, I know Aziraphale was successful at The Door Catch. I know he sent that nightingale song to Crowley. I know Crowley does narrow his eyes at the same time that smile happens, and I know that "Good Omens" scrolls by Crowley twice at that moment through the credits.

So, it's like something bad, or something that looks bad, but that's how it has to be for now, until things can change for the better later.

I suspect Crowley knew about Gabriel and Beelzebub before the reveal in S2E6.

Did Gabriel explicitly tell him in a scene we never saw for arriving clothed on Saturday with a cardboard box? At this rate, I lean more toward that having happened yes. It's still closer to a guess than a confident knowing the way I know other factors in the games.

If I try to write out the order of things with potential scenarios, I still can't put together a timeline to my satisfaction.

I still don't know what parts are from the Metatron. I mean, I do think he has a role in at least directing the lookalikes of Maggie, Shax, and Furfur.

If he has a tell beyond the usual guessing based on context of the full story, I don't know what it is.

That's why I feel this adventure went nowhere. Even so, it felt worth taking just for being interesting to me.

All the same, this series is done. As with the previous series, I hope you enjoyed this journey of play with me; please let me know if you did.

...

(Previous: Trickery 2: Going Nowhere - Post #9 - Tone of Voice)

(General reference: Trickery 2: Going Nowhere)

[svtskneecaps]

qsmp ghost investigator au dump

here is everything i spitballed into my sibling's texts. apparently their discord was "thriving on it". i'll divide this into categories and attempt to format it as reader friendly as possible. god almighty i hope the keep reading below this paragraph works

CHARACTER HEADCANONS:

there's a main investigative squad formed by roier, cellbit, fic, pac, and tubbo

roier is in charge of their social media accounts

mike is their former college roommate who they constantly bring up and declare has died, except every time he comes up the way he died was different. he's actually a really successful movie producer (or something) so one time they do a live stream for a milestone celebration and in the last ten seconds mike comes flying out of the left side with ghost stage makeup and tackles pac off the side of the screen and they never address this publicly. any time someone asks what happened to pac they answer "who's pac" including pac

cellbit gets extremely disappointed when the perp isn't supernatural

roier is thrilled when the perp isn't supernatural because the peter parker in him loves taking the piss on a billionaire publicly

fit has photographic memory (à la canon screenshots)

pac is extremely good at breaking and entering

cellbit is an old fashioned polaroid kind of guy bc digital cameras don't capture ghost evidence as clearly

roier swears by digital photos bc he likes photoshop (he carries rolls of film with him in case cellbit runs out)

fit has an auto shop. tubbo and ramón work in this auto shop. this is a headache for everyone involved but at least the auto shop was already a thin disguise for experimenting with homemade pyrotechnics so things exploding isn't a big deal

whenever the team has to do a distraction, the only two options are 1) manipulation 2) explosion

when they get caught in a bad spot, pac plays on sympathy, roier plays dumb, tubbo plays along, cellbit pretends to belong, and fit uno reverses

they commissioned jaiden for their logo. she also beta reads the scripts

richarlyson works for mike. sometimes he joins the investigation crew as a cameraman on loan. fans have learned to recognize when richas is behind the camera because the camera doesn't shake when the monster of the week appears because homeboy does not fear death. cellbit knows mike will end his bloodline if anything happens to richas (and would probably end his OWN bloodline) so he tends to be double stressed when richas is behind the camera

the team has a house, courtesy of mike, because god knows a ghost hunter's salary probably can't pay for one

bagi belongs to a "rival" investigation group. she and cellbit talk MAD shit every time they're in the same room. they are also both incredibly fucking smart and often end up working together to crack the tough cases while continuing to smack talk each other

bad is also in the rival investigative group. he is very clearly a demon. this is never commented on.

skeppy is a ghost except bad is the only one who can see him. anyone who calls skeppy imaginary is shouted down by bagi. bagi also believes skeppy is imaginary

tina is the safety net / brawn for bagi's team. she trains in hand to ghost hand combat with etoiles because she is Not Human and can punch ghosts. bagi does not know this and she just thinks tina's super cool and super talented and super badass. tina definitely thinks bagi has realized she is Not Human but they haven't like had a conversation about it but bagi's super smart sooooo

dapper is the "guy in the chair" for the rival investigation team. bad tends to ask a question into a radio (or seemingly to thin air) and immediately get the answer via text. sometimes cellbit will wonder something aloud about various ghost types or signs ("they heard scratching in the attic, so that could be caused by--") and almost immediately get cut off by bad's text tone as bad reads aloud dapper listing off three paranormal options as well as potential structural problems and rodents having an extremely fun night, at which point bad cuts himself off with "LANGUAGE" or "OUT OF POCKET"

the main team thinks dapper is just short until they realize that no, dapper is actually like 14. bad's like WHY DO YOU THINK THEY STAY IN THE VAN???

baghera makes and posts music and consults for bagi's team. cellbit is scared of her and also desperately wishes he could poach her for his own team but she only answers jaiden's calls

pomme has a ghost gun. it was a gift from etoiles. she accidentally took foolish's head off with it one time. his head grew back and that was how they learned he was Not Made of Meat. this was not particularly surprising, because bad is still her part time dad. it still scared the crap out of pomme the first time it happened because the ghost gun SHOULD only work on ghosts but foolish is in a weird enough state of undead that he qualified.

foolish was thrilled to have a spare head, hence "the first time"

vegetta is a famous architect. he calls foolish to ask which paranormal team he should consult on whether a property is haunted, because vegetta trusts his partner of unspecific relationship's judgement, considering foolish is Not Human. foolish's answer usually depends on how spiteful he feels towards tina and bad at the time of the call

bonus, i really want maximus involved in one team or the other but since he hasn't interacted with bagi yet i can't decide his role or anything concrete. but just know that's in my brain.

EPISODES (in no particular order:

foolish summons bad during a sleepover with tina and then thinks it'll be funny to summon paranormal investigators (bad also thinks it's funny). they decide to play a game of "can the investigators figure out who's the immortal". it is revealed to the audience in the end of the ""episode"" once all the investigators have left that all three of them are immortal. bad and foolish devolve into yet another argument over which one of them won based on a win condition they somehow came up with and agreed on without ever consulting each other. tina was actually the winner. roll credits.

NEXT:

quackity owns a casino. he hires the team to look into some demonic activity his patrons have been reporting. he spends the entire investigation and episode demanding they find the demon and exorcise the demon and generally shittalking the demon. they spend the entire episode questioning more and more how quackity's casino stays in business as everything they learn about it and him does not inspire confidence. it is revealed that ironmouse is the demon and is also singlehandedly keeping the casino in business because she fucking loves gambling. quackity immediately changes his tune.

NEXT:

antoine calls the team because he's KINDA worried by the latitude and longitude he keeps finding on the walls at the company he works at, written in what looks suspiciously like blood. unbeknownst to them, bagi's team was ALSO contacted, by baghera. they eventually discover the recipient of the messages is etoiles. after an incident at his previous employment he is half ghost and can now fight ghosts. the messages were from an entity that attacks things when it gets bored and it may as well fight etoiles because etoiles is the only one who has beat it so far. they meet in various back alleys and restaurant parking lots to go at it and get drinks afterward. the entity has no idea how to speak any modern languages but Fighting is Universal.

NEXT:

pierre is a wine baron and claims there's a unicorn who watches over his family's vineyard. it's been part of the brand since inception and it's taken mostly as propaganda and old legend until people start actually catching glimpses of a unicorn around the vineyard and the rumor starts to spread until roier "investigative journalist and old money hater" drags the team to go on a tour of the production line in hopes of blowing the case wide open. fit, pac, and tubbo are in charge of distractions while cellbit and roier sneak away to explore the vineyard and track the unicorn.

the unicorn is pierre. roier ends up finding this hilarious and while his journalistic spirit cannot allow him to NOT expose that the unicorn is fake, he ends up calling it "a white horse with a taped-on horn" instead of the face of the company in a fursuit. pierre sends the team wine periodically as thanks and also because roier still has a picture of him in a unicorn costume in the woods.

fit and pac do a wine tasting together.

NEXT:

wilbur contacts them because ghost slime has taken up residence in the guest bathroom and while his daughter insists slime is part of the family, phil is coming with his son (chayanne) to stay with them for a festival or something and wilbur doesn't feel like getting roasted by the middle schooler who is his brother because the bathroom smells like algae and wet dog so he needs the team to babysit slime until phil leaves town. slime spends the entire time going through windows and walls with no warning and scaring the piss out of everyone. one time he was in the cabinet when cellbit was going in to make his midnight coffee and his scream sent everyone in the house into emergency mode. roier would have FULLY put slime through the wall if slime were corporeal. lucky for slime, and their wall, slime is not.

NEXT:

jaiden works at an escape room and her boss reaches out to the team because he is FED UP with some paranormal entity that keeps drawing on walls and moving shit around and throwing things and tripping him and he wants it GONE. jaiden is extremely fond of bobby and bobby is extremely fond of HER, so she reaches out to the team and asks them to NOT do that and just pretend or something. so the team goes in and pretends to investigate and stuff. roier and bobby feud in the background. by the end of the episode they're besties.

the episode concludes, shockingly, with the boss and bobby gaining grudging respect for each other. somehow. the boss threatens to reveal bobby's existence to the internet at large as a publicity stunt every time bobby trips him in the hallway but never actually does. bobby stops throwing things at him (as much). the themeing of the rooms shift so the drawings and moving objects fit in. the boss is mariana.

from this episode on bobby periodically appears in the team's house, because it's my au and i make the ghost rules

END OF SEASON:

the end season villain is a guy who ran the biggest corporation in the world who died under mysterious circumstances. the corporation has a duck mascot for no reason in particular hahahaha. they're a company like nesquick or aquafina or amazon or something yknow REAL assholes.

the team is contracted by the billionaire's nephew (forever) who took over the business when he died and is extremely overwhelmed by 1) running a business on this scale and 2) all the paranormal bs happening in his office (which is where the former CEO died). he also happens to be cellbit's ex. this is highly awkward.

because i hate billionaires but like forever, let's say forever was contacted by the villain solely because the CEO does NOT want any of his immediate underlings to get the company and thus only reveals his blood relation to forever IN HIS WILL. except forever is A Good Dude and is trying to grasp the full scope of the company's corruption and dismantle the shitty practices while still keeping the employees paid, despite his only business experience being his current position of running a boardwalk/beach. this ends up being the cause of the paranormal activity: the CEO is panicking now that forever is trying to 'ruin his company'.

the episode ends with the CEO briefly succeeding in possessing forever, and the combined forces of the ghost teams bring him back and send the CEO to hell.

somehow the billionaire is involved in or mentioned during previous episodes.

[iamnmbr3]

Hello!

You’re really cool and I could spend all day going through all your posts where you answer drarry asks :)

I am writing a Drarry fanfic at the moment, my first one actually! So far I’ve written an epilogue and I’m almost done with Chapter 1 Part 1. I’m being really careful with planning too much of the fic too soon, because knowing me I will probably get bored of writing it so easily. But the ending is bugging me, I thought I had solved a massive plot hole but turns out I haven’t :(

So I have a few questions for you, and I’d be so thankful if you could answer at least one or two of them! You don’t have to answer them all if you don’t feel like it (I feel bad for asking so many lol). I’m assuming you have no interest of reading my fanfic XD, so I’m sure you don’t mind any spoilers?

So, the questions (read them all before answering!):

If Voldemort hadn’t gotten his hands on some of Harry’s blood in GOF, and if he hadn’t gotten the blood into his body with that blood ritual thing Wormtail did to bring him back, what consequences do you think it would have had?

If Voldemort accidentally got someone else’s blood into his body, thinking it was Harry’s, what consequences would it have? Would he still come back or would the ritual fail, and what would happen to Voldemort if it failed? What would happen to his soul and his temporary body?

If Voldemort accidentally got some of Draco Malfoy’s blood into his body, thinking it was Harry’s, would it still count? If Draco was a traitor, would he count as Voldemort’s “enemy” and therefore his blood as “the blood of the enemy”? Would this make any difference for Voldemort’s return, and would there form some type of bond between Draco and Voldemort?

Since Wormtail cut off his hand, and the hand + some of his blood was put into the potion, what theories would that leave room for? Could Wormtail have some form of bond between him and Voldemort and/or Harry because of it?

The reason Lily’s love protected Harry was because she got asked to move out of the way three times but refused, before sacrificing herself. Or at least that’s the theory that has stuck with me. What do you think would happen if somebody did that, but after refusing to move out of the way three times they’d get injured badly but not killed? Would it still count as protecting them, and would the person protected have the same type of protection that Harry had until he turned 18? Does the person who protects someone have to be a mother, or could it be somebody else?

That’s all I have for now! Wow, it looks much, but I’m sure you can answer a few of these at the same time XD

Lots of love xx

Thank you so much for your kind words! It always delights me so much to hear that people enjoy my blog and my posts. Also that's awesome that you're writing a drarry fic! You go! Of course, my answers are just my own opinions. It doesn't mean you could make something else happen in your fic.

If Voldemort didn't use Harry's blood he'd probably be unable to touch Harry without burning the way Quirrel did. Also he and Harry might not have been quite as closely linked which potentially means a weaker telepathic connection, possibly Voldemort doesn't get knocked out when Harry dies, and possibly Harry doesn't come back from the dead.

Would depend on if it was an enemy. The ritual would probably still work bc let's be real. Voldemort has a lot of enemies. Potentially it could fail tho or not work as well depending on whose blood it is.

Depends when. By book 7 yeah. But of course Voldemort's return is a big reason why Draco changes his attitudes - because he is confronted with the reality of who Voldemort is and what being part of his cause means. So potentially the blood ritual would fail earlier on.

Possibly. We see no canon evidence of it. The bond between Voldemort and Harry isn't just because of the blood ritual but also because Harry is a Horcrux. I think if they had any type of bond Voldemort would've been more protective of Wormtail (even if he still felt dislike and distain for him) in case Wormtail getting hurt could harm him in any way. Since we don't see that I don't think there's evidence of a bond. But that would be super cool to explore in a fic.

Personally I think the implication is just that it's because she chose to die - rather than the power of 3. And I also headcanon that she did some kind of actual blood magic using herself as a sacrifice. Actually, the whole thing kinda mirrors Voldemort's ritual. Lily the willing sacrifice, Voldemort the sacrifice of the enemy, and James the unknowing sacrifice. But the idea of the power of three is very neat and could add some cool world building to a fic. I think if Lily hadn't died it probably wouldn't have worked. I don't think the person doing the protecting has to be a mother.

[turquoisetuber]

Tides, coral reefs, and deep sea for any oc!

ooh ooh!! i like these questions alot!! answers will be under cut!! (aand bc im feeling UBER autistic. as a treat you can have two answers for each :3) [tws for death and suicide]

tides: how do they cope with change? is it something they welcome or avoid? do you have any examples of a change they've had and their reaction to said change?

for Hazel and Vander!

Hazel can be.. weird, about change. She doesn't mind it as long as she sees an immediate benefit, but Hazel historically struggles looking past the here and now. For example, when Hazel had to decide to leave Inkopolis to find her siblings, she REALLY struggled. She had friends and a girlfriend there, but she had to find her siblings more than anything. It took Hazel three years to leave Inkopolis, where she met up with Cloud and wound up with the Autobots. And... she's still weird about change, because unfortunately the change she made back then ruined her relationship with a *lot* of people.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, though, Vander accepts change as it comes. He rolls with the punches because change, good or bad, has always led him to the next big moment of his life. Like how when he ran away from his devastated home as a kid, he wound up meeting Ev, which was a net positive! Then he was forced to join the war which wasn't good, but it gave him VERY important skills. And he may have been forced to betray Ev, but that led to him getting to know Jade. Overall, he accepts change because whatever happens next he can *definitely* find some good there.

coral reefs: does your oc depend on anyone? if so, who and in what way? is this relationship one sided, or do both parties benefit from eachother? if they don't depend on anyone, why not?

for... Jade and Peri!!

Jade depends on *everyone.* But the benefit is she always has something to offer. The notable people are Meta Knight, who provides her comfort while she provides him closure, Hazel, who, naturally, as twins, are so in sync that they have each other's backs no matter what, and Vander, who is 110% her soulmate and would kill and die for her (which lucky for him she wont ket him die, at least). Jade provides as much as she can for everyone, so it's a good thing she has so many people to watch her back.

Peri, on the other hand, struggles relying on people. She knows she has people, and in a really bad moment she'll always turn to Dark Meta Knight or Daroach or her boyfriend or her sisters. But normally? No way. Between working for Mind under the promise that he would protect her as long as she was able to gather the intel he wanted, then learning he FUCKING LIED and in doing so got her dad killed and almost got her killed, overhearing one of the nicest guys she had ever seen, Jade's eldest brother, threaten to bury her alive, and then seeing just how awful some people were upon more experience with people from the 'real world' (aka. Peri watched how much her family suffered thanks to one fucking guy)... well, needless to say her trust was shattered. She may not work solo, but she absolutely wants to lead if she's involved.

deep sea: what is your oc's opinion on death? on afterlife, if they believe in it? has your character ever been close to dying and if so, what was it like?

for... Ev and Vander!

to preface: all my characters have died. many many times. so for these two, i'll be talking about their first time being killed and their ideas on death when they didnt know of Morpho's blessing

Ev... is a sad, sad case. Having lived fatherless his whole life, with an abusive mother... He was heavily suicidal up until he was 19, even having attempted twice, being stopped by Vander first and Hazel second. So for most of his young life, death was an out to him. He didn't care about any afterlife, he didn't want to live at all. Up until he was of course a young adult, battling by his cousins' sides. Battling his own mother was the least of his issues. It was that she was ready to kill Hazel after having already killed Jade (who the team had *just* found to have talked to Morpho and obtained their blessing). And since Hazel was still pretty secretive at this point about her teenage years, Ev didn't know she had done the same already. So in an act of sacrifice he died by his own mom's hand. And it was only then thay he realized he didn't want an easy out. He didn't want to die, but... their medic was dead. So he was damned anyway. Luckily the story has a happy ending and Ev recieved his blessing of immortality but it changed Ev's perception of the world DEEPLY.

And as for poor Vander... After his parents died, the prospect of death terrified him. He didn't wamt to end up like them, which is why he ran away. In fact, the only reason he betrayed Ev's trust and ratted his secret trips to the enemy side out is because Siofra (Ev's mom) threatened to kill him about it. Unfortunately Ev was ready to kill him about it too. The two challenged one another to a duel, and it was properly mediated and all. But Ev overpowered Vander, and in Ev's rage he accidentially dealt a near fatal blow. However, as Vander brushed death for the first time, he wasn't mad at Ev. He had just accepted that what he did to Ev was worth this punishment. Was he scared? For sure. but Vander believed that Ev was 100% right to kill him. (Also, the bleeding out from the stab wound didn't kill him—Vander had collapsed and cracked his head on a rock which killed him.) And while he was able to accept Morpho's blessing as well and seek a better path to redemption with Jade's help, to this day he still believes that he kind of deserved that.

[the-cat-chat]

April 13, 2024

Split (2016)

Three girls are kidnapped by a man with a diagnosed 23 distinct personalities. They must try to escape before the apparent emergence of a frightful new 24th.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I can't communicate how much better this movie is compared to its predecessor, Unbreakable. Honestly, why on earth they forced them to be linked is a mystery to me.

James McAvoy kills it in this role, as does Anya Taylor-Joy and even the other two kidnapped girls. But I really want to highlight James McAvoy. It's a difficult role to be convincing in. Like he really has to make people believe his character possesses these personalities and he commits himself totally to this role. In the end, I even felt bad for the abused guy at the core.

This movie packs an emotional punch in a lot of ways. My god did the gross uncle in Anya Taylor-Joy's character's past makes my blood boil. Her whole background is just sad, but it does end up with her empathizing with her kidnapper and giving her the ability to survive in the end. I like this idea that her "weaknesses" are actually her "strengths."

I'm reducing my rating a little for a few different reasons. One, I don't like the way they show the initial kidnapping. It happens so slowly and the response time of Anya Taylor-Joy's character feels unrealistic. Like I understand being in shock and everything, but it feels off. Also, a random dude jumps in the car and the one girl politely says, "Hi, I think you've made a mistake :)." I don't know, I just thought that whole scene could be different, both in dialogue and action.

Second, I understand that Anya Taylor-Joy's character had like "advanced survival instinct" but it is rather odd that she is so against the plan to ambush the guy entirely. Three on one, one girl stands behind the door and hits him over the head with the toilet tank lid while the other two (and eventually all three) fight him at the same time. I think I would have liked to see this attempt at least once (and have it fail in some way) so that question is answered in the viewer's mind.

And lastly, I think the motivation for The Beast to both choose and spare his victims is a bit weak and underdeveloped. But a small adjustment to dialogue and I think this could have been addressed.

P.S. Was there a reason The Beast always has to leave his underground lair to transform? I'm still confused about that. Cause the dude leaves his place to transform only to turn around and come back to the place he left. Why not transform there?

P.P.S. I'm not even addressing that ending with Bruce Willis. I'm pretending it doesn't exist cause it's STUPID.

Rating: 6.75/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I am going to bring clarity to my review and not act like I should have a room at the asylum. But no promises. * also this movie gave me full blown kidnapping nightmares that I thankfully forgot after being awake for 10 seconds. And my fingernails are demolished.

First the actors and their acting. All the awards. Give them allll of them. Anya Taylor-Joy is always so captivating and amazing but it’s the situation where you’re always thinking it’s Anya Taylor-Joy, which is what I did the whole time with James McAvoy in this, but I was totally committed to her story, what would she do next, what’s going on here?? And now that I think about it, it might be bc her hair was a dark brown and I’m just used to the blond, so I could disconnect that part of my brain. And then we have James McAvoy. I’m scarred. Mr. Tumnus. First the bald head. Just wow. I knew that would hit me but it hit me. And all his personality!!! He did soooo much. Like just different ways he carried himself or body language or his face. He’s an actual genius. That being said I was in total panic mode the entire time, and just the watching him portray this kind of condition made me feel bad for people afflicted bc all I could think was how exhausting switching continuously would be - and then when his real self came back and had no clue everything over years had happpenedddd gawwwd.

Second the story and plot.

Again amazing and terrifying- on the surface you think its pretty straightforward with just him kidnapping the girls (which can I just say wow they need some better situational awareness) and then him switching personalities- but there’s sooo many details and then you have the girl’s story and it’s all so detailed- plus the tigers all over and how his one personality talks about animal facts?? But then they’re in an old part of the zoo. And his one bad personality is the Beaaaasst!!! It’s 10/10. Oh and the toothbrushes for all of his personalities. I do wish maybe with the video diaries we could maybe see more of his own identity- but I get that it’s for shock factor when he “wakes up.”

The ending.

I don’t wanna talk about it I will turn into the beast. The music. The fact you know Bruce Willis is there just bc of the music and that it’s panning around the dinner with the news about him on. And that dumb lady that can’t remember Mr. Glass’s name. Really. And the stoooopid line from Bruce Willis. Gaaawd. Tranquilize me now. Pls. For the love of gawwwd. And that all of the personality’s are called The Horde. How long was that brainstormed. My soul. My emotions. My feelings. My regrets. My brain. I honestly just need to see Glass bc I need to see how James McAvoy is caught.

Rating: 4.5/10??? Cats 🐈 I’m real conflicted

[radishhqueen]

2024 Writing Roundup!

tagged by @bobtheacorn <3

Words Posted:

about 40k, give or take! ao3 says 75k but i think it's counting all of the ol' switcheroo, half of which was published in 2023.

Additional Words Written:

guh. listen. half of my active wip documents were created before 2021. there's words in there. idk when they're from <3 but probably add about 40k, that feels right.

Fandoms:

Rise of the TMNT

Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Batman

guys i am not beating the "interests of a 12yo boy" allegations 😔

Highest kudos + Highest Hit One-Shot:

probably just by virtue of being the most populous fandom on the above list (Batman), my one-shot Twice Over won both of those categories despite only being published in November lol

New Things I Tried:

well first of all, i published fic that wasn't TMNT. 💀 even though i have been writing pretty consistently since like, at least 2018, most of what i wrote was centered on my dnd campaigns or other roleplays i was in.

i wrote and published some flash fiction, even though that hasn't historically been my jam!

Fic I Spent The Most Time On:

the ol switcheroo....... the back half of that fic kicked my entire ass. much emotional processing had to happen. i love it dearly and i'm so so so glad i'm done writing it <3

Fic I Spent The Least Time On:

Not 100% sure on this one, since I actually published a couple short fics this year, but my guess is Freaky Friday. i had a pretty clear image going into it, and I'm pretty sure I hammered it out in like 30-45 min.

Favourite Thing I Wrote:

ok i know i just said that the ol switcheroo haunts my nightmares but it is also definitely my favorite thing I wrote in 2024. I haven't been delving much into rottmnt fics this past year, but I feel like I was able to convey a fresh look on a F!Leo comes back to the past AU.

i struggled a lot to write the ending, but i am very happy with how it came out! i think it tied up all the loose ends nicely, while not minimizing Casey's grief or his recovery process :)

Favourite Thing(s) I Read:

I tend to be pretty stingy with my AO3 bookmarks, but there are two fics I read in 2024 that really stood out.

Creation of a Philosopher's Stone by @ocean-ignition (Rise of the TMNT) - IT COUNTS BC IT COMPLETED JAN 3 2024. Draxum has to deal with the consequences of his actions. Such a good character study on a guy that doesn't usually get character studies. Also all the alchemy bits are so stylistically fun. i am binding my own hardcopy version of this (very slowly)(right angles are intimidating)

The Long Way Home by itsnathalie (Batman) - i tend to dip out of fics somewhere after 60k; my attention span isn't quite long enough. however. I stayed up and read all 111k of this fic in one night on a work night and absolutely obliterated my sleep schedule. Jason and Tim get stuck in a horrible labyrinth that is trying to kill them. Every time a question gets answered, you walk away with three more questions about the lore. I need to go back and reread it with a highlighter and a notebook. It's so good it makes me wanna do analysis.

Writing Goals for 2025:

i want to do another longfic, bc i miss it. being more consistent about writing, even just small amounts daily. however, I am a hobby juggler at heart, so I try not to be too down on myself when my word count drops bc I'm too busy knitting or w/e

New Works:

speaking of longfic! Worrying About the Check is a Batman fic i just started. eyeballing 30k-ish, but everyone knows how good i am at estimating word count.

if the tmnt bug catches me again, i've got a pretty decent outline for mean teen fighting machine's EPF induced camping trip, so that's also possibly on the docket. :)

also I've had this Raph&Casey sickfic in my wips for like 6 months i really need to get that one out of there.

Tagging: @witchofthemoss @uncannyalien @......bro idk who else is writing rn. trying not to double tag people. if you wanna fill this out then by all means <3

[stars-of-kyber]

Hi, I (officially) found you through your Bridgerton fic ‘Faithfully’, and have recently realised that you are also a writer for ‘You Used To Live In My Head’. I just wanna say, your work is fantastic and I am respectfully and excitedly (but impatiently) awaiting the next chapter for ‘Faithfully’.

If it’s okay, I would like to ask a few questions about it if that’s okay (feel free not to answer any of them if you don’t feel like it).

Can I get a timeline on when the Simon/Daphne relationship will happen in the fic?

In relation to the previous question, will we get overprotective, and angry Anthony when he finds out? I think it could be a good avenue for angst, humour, fluff, or any combination of them, and I’m excited for what you do with it.

Will we get Sophie and her relationship with Benedict in the fic? I know you haven’t tagged them, but Benedict is my favourite of the show Bridgertons, and I consider his book to be quite the guilty pleasure (I’m also dying for Season 4 and really don’t want to wait til 2026 to get it so I’m trying to get my Benophie fix wherever I can)

Will any of the other Bridgerton siblings join Aubrey Hall? Or will they go do their own music careers?

Can we get a tease of your favourite moment in the fic yet to come?

Once again, feel free to ignore any and all of these questions if you don’t want to answer them. Also, just so I have it in clear writing (and cause I tend to overwrite so much my meaning gets lost in the sea of words I make) I love your fic ‘Faithfully’ and can’t wait to read more.

Hello, my ducky friend! (don't mind me, I'm not well in the head lol)

Ohhh Faithfully, my sweet baby Faithfully which started bc of one scene in the end that I've yet to write and it was supposed to be a purely super sweet and fluffy story with 3 or 4 chapters and now it's not only VERY MUCH NOT 3 or 4 chapters long, it's also one of the two stories I actually truly cried writing bc I keep filling it with Angsty moments lol

I AM one of the writers for You Used To Live In My Head! Actually, it was my idea, I started it as a little Birthday present for @ladystanbury but it then it got bigger and bigger and then I kinda forced @harnitbee to get sucked into the rabbit hole with me and here we are nine months, several Canva folders and MANY MANY MANY HOURS on video call later lol (I'm so sorry, Anita lol)

Of course! You can ask as many questions as you'd like! I'm always more than happy to answer them!

Kay, let's see

1- There's still a little bit to go before we get there, actually. In the fic, they get together in the 1st of Feb 2020 and so far it's around August 2018 in the story.

2- Ohhh yes, we'll have SOME drama over this. Anthony finds out about it some months after they get together and honestly, it's a miracle the band is still going on after all the bullshit those guys go through lol

3- Unfortunately, Benophie is not very much into the plans in this story, apart from the last, epiloguish chapter. The idea is for the story to go up to Ned being born, then have this epilogue in the Grammies (will make sense in a couple of chapters, I swear) which will be set a couple of years later, so Ben and Sophie will already be together, or at least tentatively so.

3- No one is joining Aubrey Hall other than the three original members. Eloise owns a music shop and teaches percussion (which is how she meets her plant daddy and his plant little hellions) and Frannie does go into music, but as a solo artist who collaborated with Aubrey Hall a few times, even if they have pretty different musical styles. Hyacinth goes into agencing to work with Lady Danbury and the other siblings follow their own different career paths.

4- I haven't MUCH written forward apart from the two next chapters but I'll show you a bit of Newton coming into Anthony's life, will that do? rs

"He had tried to be as quiet as possible, knowing the chances she was actually asleep were huge, but the moment he stepped inside, there was some movement from the bed. 

Only it wasn’t Kate who was moving. 

Well, he assumed it wasn’t because Kate wasn’t really known to bark. 

“There is a loaf of bread on my pillow.” Anthony stared at the creature who was lying on his side of the bed, wiggling his little butt wildly along with its tail, half-forgetting he’d meant not to wake Kate up. “It barks.”

“That’s Newton.” His girlfriend yawned stretching her arms above her head as she offered him the most amazing sleepy smile. 

“What’s a Newton?” He eyed the furry beast mistrustingly. 

“Newton is our baby, Anthony.” Kate rolled her eyes, patting the creature on the head lovingly. “Say hi, please.” 

“Hi, Newton.” He muttered with a roll of his eyes, rubbing the top of the dog’s head just like his girlfriend had done. The little creature wiggled desperately, trying to spin around to lick at Anthony’s hand. “I don’t remember agreeing to this.”

“That’s because you didn’t.” 

“Right.”"

Poor Anthony, always bamboozled by his lady and happy to be so lol

Thank you so so much! I love hearing this. All my fics have such a special place in my heart in different ways and it means the world that people actually enjoy them.

I'm going to try to update soon, I swear!

Feel free to come with any more questions you want about it!

[mr-nauseam]

30, 33, and 38 for the fic writer ask game please!

30. Which fic would you most like to have its own fanfic written for?

Bad Ending Series. The idea is not original of us! But we NEED MORE SNOWJANUS AS A FAILURE MARRIAGE! Especially bc c'moon guys!! Coriolanus is in canon, THE PRESIDENT!! What is not slay about First Husband Sejanus? It could go in any focus. If yall want rebel Sejanus thats for sure an interesting take to go! Or the classic prisioner one. Maybe they divorce and get back a million times? They are indeed divorced but still fuck? They have children or no children?

I feel Sejanus have the potential to complain abt christimas decorations but thats me... 😔

My other option is Fugitives in the clouds bc I feel is a divergence very PAUSIBLE in canon and I'm shocked aren't much or any working with it????

(Summary. What would happen if Sejanus managed to escape with BT? I go by that focus but can be literal him doing the escape with BT, Spruce and Lil.)

33. Which of your fic titles is your favorite?

I answer here So I'm copying what I put there ☝️

OH THERE ARE TWO I THINK THE TITLES ARE GREAT.

First one is Knockoff. The plot is basically Coriolanus doing fucked changes in his own body and then forcing THOSE IN SEJANUS TOO bc he's SO SURE THAT IS THE BEST FOR BOTH. It's basically me going more delulu over Coriolanus fake ass and need to pretend so:

Knockoff. A copy or imitation, especially of an expensive or designer product.

Feel very adequate to me use that word.

The other is Como él, reniego.

Is the only one shot I posted in spanish. The translation is a bit complicated bc at least my quick research point out there's not equivalent in the same meaning in english for the word Reniego.

"Just like him. I reject / I blasphemy / I curse." All of those words are contain in Reniego. Is a rejection of God - Virgin Mary, is offended these sacred figures, is a denial, is curse someone with bitterness and in that fic in specific that's what Sejanus do.

Just like him (Coriolanus). I (Sejanus) do the same offense and at the same time offend a sacred figure. I simply like the catholic guilty potential swag in Sejanus, his devoteed and loyalt nature tie with Coriolanus that is always on the verge of have a God complex. Of want infinite adoration.

38. Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each. THIS WAS A HARD DECISION but I decided to go for the triad as I call in my head to the first 3 fanfics I wrote for tbosas: Suffocation. Suffocation the song. Björk- Jóga (that was in my head Sejanus pov from the situation). Heavenly. Arca- Destellos. Lovejoy - Cause for Concern. And pant the name that kills. Soda Stereo- Entre caníbales. (From the lyrics come actually the title)

<3 <3 Thanks for the question!! Sorry for the delay

[roublardise]

tag game - 20 questions for fic writers

YAAAY thank you for the tag @dogearedheart i love talking about my own stuff 💕

i'm unlocking some secret fanfic facts about myself that only two people know about!!

.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

17 i can't believe it.... only 6 on my spn pseud which is my main one at this point

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

107 433 😳

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i only write for spn rn. the 11 other ao3 fics are from my vld era, and they keep getting kudos it means so much to me.... tho it's not my best works lmao i'm glad it still resonates with some people especially bc i wrote them for trans & autistic teenagers and like, you go ily

now, here's the secret facts: before ao3 and writing fics in english, i wrote many things in french. my main fandoms were Yuri!!! on Ice (i was in the french trenches!!) and Notre-Dame de Paris (the book & musical)

4. top five fics by kudos

i'm done taking the vld fics into account, so it's only spn stats:

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect

It's new - the shape of your body

The Way Home

amidst ashes and feathers

here come the fallen, here come the failed ones

5. do you respond to comments?

i can't really say i do 😔 i TRY to, and sometimes i DO!! i used to reply to some on ff.net and i loved discussing with readers & other writers, but it's very time consuming and i already don't get much writing time anymore

so i take a while especially to longer comments bc i wanna give it justice? idk. i already struggle a lot with responding to my besties' texts so yeh ao3 comments aren't my priority unfortunately. they do mean everything to me and i screenshot them and read them and reread them and read them again like 😭😭

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm i think it's my unfinished french Yuri!!! on Ice fic lmao. the ending is still in the drafts but it's very bittersweet bc the main relationship doesn't like, fall in love together and all. i play with that trope of "i'm not gonna fall in love!! *does anyway*" with an aro character and they will not, in fact, fall in love.

but the other character will with someone else and so it's this change of relationship that can get pretty heartbreaking still, bc something is still ending. well, more like evolving into smth else but a huge part of what they've shared is kinda lost and it's sad (<- fic written by a situationship survivor)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

amidsts ashes and feathers TO ME!!! The Way Home's pretty happy as well but blablabla they kiss romance whatever, it's an easy answer.

now my Mary's fic is about finding community and she starts to collect every part of herself to be herself and she finally feels welcome somewhere 💕 pretty open ending and it's not much about reconnecting with dean & sam it's about taking steps yipeee

8. do you get hate on fics? i haven't gotten any so far!

not a big enough fanfic writer for this

9. do you write smut?

i've never done it in english.... YET 😏 if/when i drop my bela x meg you'll see. things happen!

i can't really say i've done it in french either tbh bc i never went super explicit but i did write many kinky scenes at this point so it's like. very sensual at least.

10. craziest crossover?

i don't do crossovers

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not by someone else, but i've translated a few of my own things from french to english!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes!! i wrote a three-chapter thingy with @littlehaize that i think we deleted bc it was 10 years ago LMAO. it was very fun to do!

14. all-time favorite ship?

well...... no one will ever be destiel. however it's a fanfic ask and i do not write them much, so my fondness goes for sapphic ships and ships that are not canon. always been a rarepair girlie (gn)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh for sure my dean & sam portraits. i had actually started a kind of sequel to You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect, that was like, "From the same soil we've grown and yet he doesn't know"

GOOD stuff in there, but it was back in 2021. since then my spn takes have changed so even if i took it back up i'd have to rewrite it from scratch + i'm not super interested in it anymore. i started this at a specific time in my life, and now i'm onto new things, different issues, same themes but different takes!

16. what are your writing strengths?

poetic prose!! it's about creating emotions and imageries.... lots of my fics are character studies for a reason, i just like exploring ideas and that's what i've been doing for the longest time

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

worldbuiling LMAO. do NOT look too closely into my fics' timeline and chronology, i try my best but there's also a point where i stop trying. sometimes everything is vague bc it says smth with the story and/or bc it goes with the genre, but also bc it's vague in my own head

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i did that!! i think sometimes it's a better choice depending what the story is saying, like slipping some foreign language than one character speak and not the other to say smth (show what a character is still too afraid to say / it's hot / etc). in The Way Home i tried to insert actual ASL in some dialogues, and it felt important both for the disabled rights and bc like, bilingual life sometimes you have the right word in one language and not the other (and again, it says smth)

sometimes it's not quite relevant to actually write it down in the language, just mentioning what it is is enough. different choices for different contexts and stories 🤷‍♂️

19. favorite fic you've written?

The Way Home 💖 i love amidst ashes and feathers so much i have to mention it as well. but ultimately i have a fondness for longer stories bc i have very few of them!! The Way Home is a first in that regard, longest finished work of mine. i spent 3 years with this story and it's gonna be forever with me just like the city i left behind when i posted the last chapter :) it means a lot on a personal level

20. tagging: @littlehaize 🫶

[greenapricot]

2023 fic year in review

Doing my 2023 fic year in review in February bc that's how things are going in 2024 so far.

Total number of fic: 5 (1 still in progress)

Total word count: 24,217

Fandoms written in: Lewis (3), Endeavour (1), Our Flag Means Death (1)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. Though I didn't really have any specific expectations about quantity, just that I wanted to write things I enjoyed writing regardless of the reception, as opposed to past years when I was fixated on the idea of writing a certain amount of fic per month. 2023 felt much more relaxed writing-wise and I'm also about halfway through a super self-indulgent fic that is probably going to end up being around 20k and I'm very pleased with that.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? The Names of All the Winds (Lewis, James/Robbie, magical realism au, alternate meeting). The aforementioned fic that's half done. I am having so much fun reliving my own holiday on Lake Garda by sending slightly alternate universe Robbie and James there and also writing magical realism which I hadn't done in a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wouldn't call it a risk exactly, but Patterns Unfamiliar (Lewis, James/Robbie, hurt/comfort) was a fun challenge. My writing is usually very visual and it was interesting to have to describe what was happening in the story when the POV character was in complete darkness.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Finish TNoAtW, which I'm actively working on and hope to manage by the end of March.

And I've said this the last two years running, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads my Lewis/Shetland xover (currently titled The last place we left off). I did do a fair amount of work on it before I entered the fic challenge that spawned TNoAtW, and wrote a good portion of the Shetland fic interlude that I've realized needs to go between the two stories. So both of those are next in line after TNoAtW.

Then there's the Blackbeard's Building & Renovation fic idea that was spawned in discord, in which Ed is a builder and Stede an interior decorator (each with their own crews) and they are both hired to work on the same house at the same time. Some kind of OFMD/Grand Designs-ish fusion. And, as ever, those three Lewis casefics that are mostly plotted and not anywhere close to completion.

Most popular story of the year? One thing at a time (Lewis, James/Robbie). It was spring, I had allergies, so I wrote a fic in which James had allergies. It seems to resonate with folks :D

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Nothing like poetry (Endeavour, post-s6 Ronnie Box angst). It has the least number of comments and kudos, but I don't actually think it's under-appreciated. Ronnie Box ruminating on the terrible mess his life is post-s6 is just very niche.

Most fun story to write: TNoAtW for all the reasons I mentioned above and adding my own photos to it. And it remains fun.

Most unintentionally telling story: I should probably make up another question to go here bc I never have a good answer for this, but The Most Remarkable Thing (OFMD, Ed/Stede, domestic fluff) was basically me putting my love of gardening and living a quiet life in the woods into fic form.

Biggest disappointment: I wouldn't say it was a disappointment, but I really did think I was going to finish the Lead me wild sequel in 2023. I think I'll finally finish it in 2024 though (this time for sure).

Biggest surprise: TNoAtW growing into what looks like it will be the third longest fic I've ever written.

Tagging people just for the fun of it (no pressure though): @bryndeavour, @thankyouforbeingsowrong, @vita-s-west, @mcgstarroar, @mr-iskender, @ronniebox