#& that the weather is nice where you are !!

[conscydraws]

My first 15 hours in Death Stranding

[ourfag]

conversation topic: dogs in the city. tiny dogs that scamper and gallop bc their legs are so short. big dogs that can't possibly fit in an apartment. purse dogs. dogs in outfits. also babies in hats. actually just what's the convo when they r browsing a lovely farmers market. 💐 happy sunday hope the weather's nice where u r

ed: oh fuck me, look at that one

stede: which

ed: there. that. i’m—pointing with my fucking elbow, look—

stede: d’you want me to take something? i can carry—

ed: just—shut up and look at that fat little baby, look

stede: oh. oh my lord

ed: with the pom poms

stede: i see what you mean

ed: little fuckin—

stede: on his booties

ed, a full octave up: on his little booties look

stede: i love when they’ve got the hats that make them look like starfish

ed: is he supposed to look like a starfish?

stede: little points on his hat. starfish arms

ed: that doesn’t look like a starfish, it looks like a jester

stede: what? no it doesn’t. the points are sticking straight up, that’s a starfish

ed: how many starfish have you seen whose arms end in jingle bells

stede: i—

stede: the world is vast, edward.

ed: see i just think—

stede: must i be accountable for every species of starfish?

ed: —if there’s a starfish with jingle bells then you’re the kind of person who’s gonna know it off the top of your head

stede: i’m sure there’s one out there

edward: ok. is this like when i floated the idea of horse with wheels

stede: ……well, not—

ed: it’s practical, save the horse a lot of effort

stede: —it’s unlikely. it’s unlikely

ed: see that’s a useful feature. what’s a starfish gonna do with a jingle bell

stede: i don’t know! celebrate??

ed: doesn’t even work underwater

stede: maybe it just wants to feel fancy once in a while, you don’t think a starfish ever wants to feel fancy?

ed: spaghetti dog

stede: that’s—now you’re just hybridising

ed, pointing in an altogether different direction: no, look, there’s one of those spaghetti dogs, look

stede, following ed’s elbow to an italian greyhound: ooh spaghetti dog

ed: spaghetti dog

stede: that one’s got a jacket on. stylish

ed: didn’t you say starfish were carnivores?

stede: it’s houndstooth though. is that a bit too on the nose? sorry—

ed: no you have a point

stede: —what about starfish and carnivores?

ed: oh, just—if the starfish’s got bells, won’t its prey hear it sneaking up

stede: well you said it yourself, bells don’t really work underwater

ed: huh

ed: now you think about it that’s actually—that’s kind of depressing

stede: oh no

ed: sorry i didn’t mean to—

stede: no, starfish baby dropped one of his little pom pom booties, look

ed: oh shit—aw look at his little toes he’s gonna get cold

stede: should we go over? is that—would that be weird?

ed: i dunno, maybe, but like, also kind of badass?

stede: …badass?

ed: yeah like we’re starfish baby’s bodyguards or something. like we’re not gonna smother him but we’re just—

stede: on the outskirts, right? to make sure he won’t be mobbed for autographs

ed: right cuz he’s a celebrity baby

stede: but then when he needs assistance, we’re—

ed: “you dropped this, sir”

stede: and then he takes it, very businesslike, because he’s a professional

ed: and he understands what we’re saying because he’s a genius baby as well

stede: yes

stede: well—normal babies can do that too

ed: what, understand you?

stede: yeah. i believe so

stede: what? what’s wrong?

ed, in quiet horror: i have said so much stupid shit in front of other people’s babies

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

[henrikvanderhussy]

now you may think that this warning at the beginning of CRY is here to enhance the atmosphere and give it a little spookiness, but actually it's because the lighting is bad and you can't see for shit unless you're in a dark room

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

I was wondering what Akai is up to in the sweater weather AU, so here you go

I.

Akai Shuichi is a thrillseeker at heart, but even he has his limits.

So when his mother, conveniently pocket-sized but still as sharp as ever, threatens him with a gun and lays into him, not for faking his death, but, of all things, for not mentioning his partner to her, he privately questions her priorities but decides to tell her the truth. He certainly likes to live dangerously, but he wouldn't be alive today if he didn't know how to pick his battles.

While she seems initially confused, the conversation about Akemi quickly veers off-track when his mother asks him to repeat her family name. Miyano, as in, her sister's daughter Miyano Akemi. Shuichi didn't even know he had an aunt. Not that it matters much, since he knows Akemi's parents died years ago. Eventually his mother leaves him alone, both of them too caught up in their heads to continue the conversation.

Shuichi's not really sure what to feel about all of that. So he doesn't.

.

He's not always been good at managing his emotions, but it's pretty close. When his father taught him how to hunt, and the misery of seeing proud game succumb to his shots had almost swallowed him alive, something cracked under the pressure. And whatever that was, despite Shuichi's best efforts, it has never quite healed alright. It left him with a slight gap between his thoughts and feelings, giving him that bit of extra distance necessary to keep going instead of breaking down. He'd come to understand, then, with a clarity born from numbness, death as an integral part of life. It comes for all living things, sometimes too early, and there really is no way to escape it. There's no use in fighting. Better get used to it.

The FBI counsellor called it repression, many years later, and while it was not even close to immediate grounds for disqualification from the program, she tried to give Shuichi reading materials on mindfulness and self-reflection. He hasn't touched them; the ability has been too helpful so far. He would've shattered several times over without it; when his father disappeared and his world threatened to break apart; when he decided to leave his family, including an unborn sister, behind for the ghost of a chance to find his father; and most often since he went undercover for the FBI. There's no fooling himself, compartmentalization and repression are probably the only reasons he can talk about the years and years of dirty work, including everything from blackmail to torture and murder, without losing his sanity. People call him cold-blooded and emotionally unavailable, and mean it as an insult. Shuichi can't bring himself to care. Life is complicated enough without emotions thrown into the mix. He needs to control some factors and keep them simple. Himself, he can control - mostly. So he does.

And he's good at it, but some days, it's too much.

.

Dealing with Akemi's untimely demise has always been difficult. He made a mistake when he got attached to his target. He can't even claim that he didn't know better, at the time, because he did, he just chose to ignore his better judgement. Couldn't help it, really. She was so easy to get along with, gentle yet tough as nails in a way that gave him, too, the strength needed to make a name for himself as a hitman. Those first couple of months before he learned not to sleep too much, when he came back from his missions feeling stained in blood that never even touched him, when he maintained his cover throughout the day and threatened to break apart by night, she was there to steady him. And she allowed him to be gentle with her, to hold her and love her and promise her the world. He needed desperately to not just be a monster, and she managed to see the man in him.

Now he's left to wonder if the easy familiarity he settled into with Akemi was a result of their relation. Such a pointless question.

.

With the help of a few glasses of Maker's Mark, a pack of cigarettes, and a probably unhealthy amount of emotional distancing, he manages to lay the matter to rest, for now. Until the organisation is dealt with, he can't afford to let his emotions get in the way, so he buries them as deep as he can, and applies logic to the problem.

Ultimately, he reasons, rhythmically assembling and disassembling his IWI Jericho to give his hands something to do, it doesn't really change things. What matters is that he loved her and she died for it. Whatever he learned after can't tarnish that memory. It's a simple fact that he needs to keep going to avenge her; aside from that, all he can do right now is remember her, and honour her last request. That's the active parameter he can affect: he will see to it that Miyano Shiho is protected, or die trying.

Shuichi considers telling the girl they're cousins, and eventually, he will - if she doesn't figure it out before that, keen as she is. But for now, she still doesn't trust him, has too much to worry about, and honestly, for a supposedly dead man he has enough tetchy family connections already. Maybe, when all of this is over, he can tell Masumi - she's a bit too careless to be told now, and he hopes his mother shares this assessment. But his little sister is great at breaking the ice, and he's sure she would love to hear she has more family. It might do Shiho well, too, knowing she isn't as alone as she might think. Their family is odd enough that she'll fit right in.

He's not sure he'd wish it upon her, though. Dealing with his darling mother always involves a headache of some kind. He is reminded once again why he didn't join the MI6, and why he tries to keep contact with her to a minimum. Still, somewhere deep down and buried, he's glad she seems to be well enough to feel like going out and threatening him. It's almost cute, even if she's deadly.

.

Despite his best efforts not to let it affect him, emotional exhaustion sticks to him through the next couple of days, uneventful as they are. Sleeping would probably help, but he keeps himself awake with coffee where he can, only napping a couple hours a day. Shuichi's life is one of constant vigilance, of surveillance and planning and striking at precisely the right time. And it suits him just fine, patience is in his nature. But while he's not on a mission, it sometimes leaves him just a little bit bored. The Kudo library is extensive, but there's only so many mystery novels he can read before his mind starts to wander. Trying not to think of Akemi's death is like trying not to think about pink elephants once he has been reminded of them. The comparison is uncharitable, and he knows she wouldn't appreciate his brooding, but it's not like he has much else to occupy himself with. Yes, there are the preparations for a joint operation against the organization coming up in a little over a month, and there's a class Okiya Subaru has to attend Tuesday evenings, but it's not like they require his full attention. He still tries to give it to them.

II.

Shuichi's not sure whether it's a blessing or a curse that he's meeting with Furuya Rei a couple of days after the ill-fated encounter with his mother.

Their relationship is tumultuous at best, and murderous at worst, complicated in the way all interactions containing Furuya tend to be, as the man is dictated by exactly the kind of emotions Shuichi tries to avoid. Granted, it is a rather one-sided disagreement; as with most things, Shuichi has no strong feelings about Furuya. He respects the other agent's abilities, particularly the fact he is still undercover, and teasing him is surprisingly fun. That's about it. Shuichi's keenly aware of Furuya's flaws, but as long as they don't bother their operations, he's not going to do anything about them.

In fact, in the last weeks - months really, at this point - he's been enjoying going along with Furuya's whims, meeting him to exchange the sweaters he seems to be so obsessed with. When he's not trying to hound him, Furuya can be somewhat decent company, chattering away about the mundane things that irritate him. Until he realizes he's been too pleasant, at which point he gets a little volatile to make sure Shuichi understands they're not actually friends. It's nothing Shuichi can't handle, and to be completely honest, he appreciates a little less boredom in his life.

Today, though, doom and gloom and failure still on his mind, he's not really up for playing games with the PSB agent. They know each other better than anyone else alive, aside from maybe Morofushi. Furuya will understand.

So he prepares a bag, shoves the sweater Furuya requested in, double-checking it's the right one because he really doesn't need another lecture right now, and waits for the agent to break into the Kudo mansion so he can hand it over and be done with it. Considering he's an ally now, Shuichi would offer him a key, but he's got the distinct impression Furuya would somehow misconstruct it as an insult to his abilities.

.

Exactly five minutes ahead of schedule, there's the click of the first-story balcony door, and Shuichi pads down from the sniper nest in the attic to meet his guest. Wordlessly, he holds out the bag to Furuya in the hallway. "Not even a good evening? Lacking in manners as usual, Akai Shuichi." Shuichi shrugs, can't be bothered. Shakes the bag. "Here's what you came for." Furuya's eyes narrow, scan across his form, then his brows furrow. An expression Shuichi hasn't seen on him before crosses his face, and before he has time to interpret it, it's gone, replaced by a smirk. "Hey, Akai." He stretches, dangling his own bag overhead. "That takedown you performed on the serial killer two weeks ago. Teach it to me." Shuichi stares back, unimpressed. "Maybe next time, I'm not-" Two quick steps, and Furuya's in his space, eyes blazing blue, looking up at him so impossibly bright. "That wasn't a question, Akai." He grins, eyes shining. "Or you're not getting your sweater back."

Shuichi almost lets out a laugh. That's gotta be up there somewhere in the top five stupidest threats he's ever been issued. Which is really saying something, considering he spent his teenage years in a high school in the US, and then some more years with FBI trainees in Quantico. What is it with Furuya and his sweater fixation? Akai doesn't care, he can have them all if it gets him out of his hair.

Unfortunately, Shuichi's best death glare doesn't seem to have the desired effect. Determination is either Furuya's best or worst quality, depending on how much trouble his current agenda involves, and for the sake of Shuichi's time, it's probably quicker to go along with him than to try and forcibly relocate him, even if he's certain he could. With a quiet sigh he makes for the basement gym.

.

Where his temper shines through in conversations, Furuya's presence in a fight is that of a wildfire, contained in a person. When he fights, he burns, sucking the oxygen and attention out of his surroundings, doesn't allow for distractions or he'll singe and bite and sting whatever is in his path. He takes to Akai's instructions easily, and soon enough they're no longer practicing but engaged in a sparring match. Furuya doesn't leave him time to consider anything else, at all, and damnit, that fervour of his is contagious. The battlejoy kicks in, hard, and Shuichi finds himself mirroring the PSB agent's mad grin as they wrestle for dominance, toss each other into the mat, twist and turn and struggle on the fine line between play and serious fighting.

Once they're staying down on the mats, the battle is over quickly; one moment he has Rei in a full-body pin, sure of his surrender; only for the man to twist his legs, shift their positions, and straddle Shuichi, bending down to choke him. He's stunning like this, flushed and panting for breath, his scorching gaze focused intently on Shuichi and Shuichi alone, looking for an opportunity to make him yield. An effigy of life itself.

Shuichi can't help it; his heart soars, his blood sings, his body shivers. Rei is a pinpoint focus of light, and then everything goes dark.

.

Sweater weather AU masterpost

[front-facing-pokemon]

[cheeseknives]

Yes....

...why are you looking at me like that though...

[szappan]

university.. university leave me alone

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hi, I was the anon that had brought up the high seas adventure!! I'm glad you took interest in it, and hearing your ramblings to add onto it just made me imagine so many fun things! (Poor Eddie, haha. With your description, I just imagine a dog trying to stand up in a moving car.) Ohh, now I imagine a case where the ship wrecks and their stranded for a few days until another rescue ship comes! Perhaps on an island?? I hope some of them know how to hunt!

the very first thing that came to mind was Eddie sobbing while pointing one of Howdy's guns at a crab. Sally just comes up & stabs it through the shell before taking it back to the fire for eating. Eddie collapses to his knees, wracked with guilt-

[fluffypotatey]

Hopefully the Twister fandom grows for the sake of more people able to understand the fics you're writing because I love your stuff but I'm missing all the subjective love a fan of the series would have

same! both the 1996 and 2024 movies are so much fun and deserve all the love and fics and fanart and gifs

like it was only until last week I think since Twisters got an official tag on ao3 (which is just a combo between toy and a twister 1996 but still!!! huge props to all the fic writers contributing to the fandom) and i have found that the Jake “Hangman” Seresin & Tyler Owens (Twisters) tag is common enough to be included when typing for the relationship tag so 👀 we are definitely getting there!

[mimikusu]

Something else I'm very soft for:

As they're getting over their cold, feeling much better already and well enough to be out and about:

"hH... Hah! ... heEh'zshhAHHh! ... ...! Ugh! I'm so fed up with this! That better be the last one!"

[doctorweebmd]

i love the comments on the latest chapter of the path to paradise where people are like 'akutagawa leave those crabs alone!'

because that's something I do

literally traveling the world's oceans, harassing all of God's crustaceans

for example took a weekend trip with my partner for our 6 year wedding anniversary a few days ago and spent a solid multiple hours searching for and harassing crabs

here is photo evidence of the largest and most in-chargest one I found:

[wolvisms]

dude i love love

[pa-pa-plasma]

i feel like a lot of people ignore the fact that in a lot of places, bicycling just. cannot be done for half the year, & that's why public transport being good is important. i cannot bike in 5 feet of snow & ice or in 40c heat. i can't even walk in that, unless i have the energy to snowshoe or a bucket of ice water to chug.

"but I can do it!" good for you. unfortunately i live in Berk (snowing for 9 months of the year & hailing the other 3) & cannot unless i want to die. also disabled people exist. & children. & people who live in a place where everything is no closer than 30 minutes away, & 30 minutes in -30c can kill you if you can't afford a good pair of boots & a good coat. i may have bike paths but the river floods past them every year. what do i do then? bike on the highway?? just let me take the train

[imovyn]

people on this site will reblog shit like “i enjoy weird irredeemable gross nasty perverse media” and then have proshippers dni in their bio

[stunie]

stumbled on ur page by accident n ur such a sweet soul <33 hope you have an amazing weekend !

-🔑

omg a 🔑 anon ?! welcomeeeee !! how cute is that 🥺 you are so much sweeter for dropping by and telling me this <333 :> eeee i hope you have fun here !! wishing you the loveliest weekend ever as well > < 🤍