#& somehow i just. dont have the attention span to do that anymore?

[wickedghxst]

very annoying habit im noticing lately: i buy a game i Know im going to enjoy. I Love absolutely Love every second of what im playing - and then I take a small break & somehow never play it again.

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/758042078814093312/but-i-dont-feel-like-anyone-actually-knows-who?source=share

''Memories and DVDs were filled with Jikook moments that even non shipper OT7 fans complained''

I also disagree with basically everything this anon said, but this part took my attention about something that I was thinking these days, and I wanted to share my perspective about this whole narrative that jkkrs and some armys have about how much jkk we get on official content, and bc of that it somehow proves how closer/real they are. I wish I could say more about the other stuff, but unfortunately it took me almost 4 years of being an army to really start believing in taekook, but I was an active army and I did consumed tkk content, and I believe I had a pretty neutral tl because I did not believe that tkk were together at the time and did follow ot7s and people that shipped all types of ship because I liked to consume fics and fan arts form all kind of ships from BTS. But this narrative of BTS dvds are basically all jikook content that some people try to push is kind of a lie. Yes they do have lot of moments on it, but I was an active army on twt since 2017, and what I remember what happened for like 2/3 years in a row is that one of the first persons to get the dvd and release content of it was Peaches, a disgusting jkkr tae anti by the way, which basically released only their moments or moments that involved only Jimin and Jungkook excluding the other boys, specially Tae. So what actually happened was that for a few hours in twt what we basically had of memories was all jkk content, and you have no idea of how armys had a really short attention span at the time. Memories 2019 for example was released while BTS was promoting dynamite and in the soop was being released, so lots of things were happening at the time and I remember some people did not even talked about the DVD after a few hours due to all content that we were getting and since it wasn`t the freshest new we had at the moment. Not to mention that in memories 2019 was the same dvd that if I'm not mistaken we got like not even 1 minute of tkk content inside of more than 700 minutes of content, so it wasn't even like a fair comparison when the only ship that could make more noise than jikook had like 2 moments for tkkrs to hype it up and when it took hours for us to get in the tl because the only person who bothered to upload tkk content got her dvd later than others when people were not even talking about it anymore. And to give an example of how a person who gets their hand on the content first can impact the tl, what also happened in memories 2021 is that one of the first persons to get it was a taekooker and tl at first was infested with taekook moments and photos, I even remember some tkkrs saying that maybe hybe were finally releasing more tkk contents again, and some army discussing that they seemed to be closer again. This also happened with magic shop in Japan which I remember one of the first moments we got on our tls was the "still number 1 without makeup" because a jpn tkkr got her hands on the dvd first than others. And just to clarify I don't remember army complaining about it anon, I actually remember that in memories 2021 lots of ''army's' and jikooker were desperate and making hit tweets about how peaches needed to get her dvd soon they could get jikook content on their tls, ignoring the fact that they were a whole Tae anti who dismissed him and tkk/vmin moments. My point is that sometimes these kind of narratives are not only created by hybe, but it can sometimes be created by fandom and big accounts themselves and create a whole herd effect of misinformation about who is closer than who, and that is complicated for us to state something when our tls can basically direct what it will tell us, specially when most won't have the patience or means to go through 500/700 minutes of paid content and will probably hype the most out there moments. And to finish just wanted to add but I'm from latam and also became an army in 2017 and at least here jkkrs have been huge since then, totally overtaking tkkrs, and I hear stories of them causing trouble here to armys and Tae way back from 2017

More thoughts.

[freebooter4ever]

Now that my dripping nose has slowed down and im feeling more myself, i want to draw, and. Well. Drawing with ADD when focus requires more effort than usual (sick!) is like:

Want to draw, but brain not cooperating, need something in the background to satisfy that restlessness, turn on tv show

Tv show somehow not enough to settle down??? After one episode thoughts still circling to other things. Change tv show.

Second tv show STILL not working. Suddenly brain changes track to thinking about something random.

Switch to a documentary about that random thing. Ten minutes in discover that this is too literal

Switch to a movie vaguely related to the thing.

Movie works for about two hours. Then it ends. Very frustrating, need to find new thing.

Decide to switch to music. Absolutely not working. Doesn't satisfy that ‘ive been alone in the house and i need human interaction’ itch. :/

Attempt to listen to an audio book. Sickly and feeble brain cannot hear words spoken in a dull voice anymore they become a distant hum that does absolutely nothing to help. Why do all audiobooks have the worst readers? The only exception to this is joe mazz*llo and i suspect its cause he's an actor. Or i just like his voice in a southern accent, who knows.

Finally accidentally stumble on a well written tv show with (THANK YOU) over 10 episodes an hr long each that will sooth your restless soul and let you draw for the rest of the day, wow. It only took like...four hours to do this.

FUNNY ENOUGH? The best background distraction to get me in the drawing zone ever turns out to be live hockey. But it has to be live, it can't be a game where i already know the outcome. And it has to be a team i care about. Like i know i would joke about listening to the games at work and how they were distracting but the truth is beyond taking breaks to type out commentary ocassionally live hockey worked like what i imagine adderall would be like to make my brain fucking focus. I absolutely did not expect that. Something about how its happening LIVE combined with needing to know all the terminology combined with my brain in the background trying to vizualize the action on ice while vizualizing the stuff im working on just...is peak attention span for me. :/ brains are so fucking weird. (try explaining to your boss that your productivity every other day decreased at work because the penguins got booted out of the playoffs and that was what you were using to focus for like...months.)(i dont know what im going to do now that the rangers are in the same boat :/)

[mchi22]

i was tagged by @artificialpawsertives but somehow forgot 2 actually mention that when i posted this !! anyway hi bestie!!!

Name: alex or mchi (-: i dont really prefer being called one over the other

Star sign: scorpio but idk shit abt astrology lol

Height: i legitimately dont know but im taller than my 4′ 8″ chain of soda can tabs so. somewhere above that

Birthday: 11/15, which is 2 days before the anniversary of the release of the star wars holiday special. btw

Favorite Band/Artist: uuuuh lol idk. i like 100 gecs and a lotta stuff released by emma essex but i dunno that id say either of those are my favorites

Last Movie: ok so ive been thinking on this for like 5 minutes and i have no idea lmao i dont usually watch movies bc my attention span is Bad<3

Last Show: i once again dont know i dont watch tv shows HGJNKHGF

When Did I Create This Blog: early 2015 i think.. dark times

What Do I Post: i just be posting shit my dude ! the 2 constants u can count on me posting are rtvs and half life/hlvrai, but i also post abt video games i like and also my best friend fin fin (-:

Last Thing I Googled: i almost always google stuff in incognito for some fucking reason but the last thing in my actual google search history is “vrchat sdk”

Other blogs: mchi-art which is my art blog, w-e-b-k-i-n-z which is. my webkinz blog lol and xx-kandicore-xx which is my scenecore/old web/general aesthetic blog. i have other blogs i dont usually use like colorpicked-flags which is bc i love making pride flags colorpicked from various things, and then i have some urls im just keeping as a treat like dj-y0nd3r, leisuresheetthatbecomesabag, and piki-seal but i dont really plan 2 use any of those lol

Do I get asks: not usually unless i explicitly like, reblog an ask game or smthn lol. also sometimes random questions on my webkinz blog

Following: 328 ppl (-:

Average Hours of Sleep: uh uhhh lol uhhhhh like. 3-5 hours? but then i also nap sometimes

Instruments: like.. musical? i played clarinet for 3 years in middle school but i Hated it

What I Am Wearing: camo pants, the walking dead t-shirt (i dont even like twd anymore but i Have the shirt so i might as well wear it yknow), and sneakers. yes im wearing shoes in the house leave me alone

Dream Job: id say entomologist but like i literally have no idea what thatd entail.. am i making new bugs? new bugs just dropped? look forward 2 it.. but aside from that hear me out. i think itd be fun 2 be like someone who wears a silly mascot suit (-: i already like, want a fursuit and its basically just the same thing but u get paid, right? anyway this WILL be me

Dream Trip: if not just Go Visit All My Friends, oh my god i want 2 go 2 west virginia and go 2 billy bob’s wonderland

Nationality: american 😔

Fav Songs: this is too broad and is putting too much pressure on me so instead im going to offer some of my favorite songs that i have maps of in osu

lagtrain, lapfoxed forever, energy synergy matrix, guitarmass

Last Book I Read: i dont read stuff !!!!!!! i guess the handmaid’s tale? which i read over a year ago for english class?

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: i can Not think of 3 so im just gonna say pokemon bc i wanna see deoxys.. silly guy

Tagging: no one bc i dont wanna give ppl notifications!! just do it if u want!!!! yippee!!!!

[voidcat]

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206

[just-a-fangirl13]

MacGyver s5 theories..Time jump? MacRiley? Trust issues and more

OKAY! So we finally got our first (3) SNEAK-PEEKS at 5x01 and I have soo many thoughts.

Here are the links incase you missed it: https://just-a-fangirl13.tumblr.com/post/636474561109639168/the-new-sneak-peeks-for-macgyver-5-01-are-out

Firstly let’s talk about the elephant in the room...The TIME JUMP....? 

MacGyver writers really like their time jumps. From season 3 to season 4 we lost about 18 months, and in that span of time the Phoenix shut down, Mac and Desi dated, lived together, had a pet? and a “nuclear breakup” and then proceeded to live their lives, Riley also started seeing someone then moved in and had been living with him (Aubrey) for about 6 months and of course Bozer directed his own movie. So clearly a lot happened.

This 10 month jump might not be as eventful (or can it be?!) since it seems that the writers have included the pandemic into the storyline. Now if the characters were quarantined like we were I have tons of questions..

IS THE PANDEMIC OVER IN THEIR WORLD? WAS IT A DIFFERENT KIND OF PANDEMIC OR COVID? WHAT ARE THE REPERCUSSIONS?

DID THEY STILL GO ON MISSIONS? or were they literally just doing nothing like the rest of us? *I wonder if Mac burnt down the house....hehhehe*

DID RILEY MOVE OUT? or was she stuck quarantining with Mac and Desi?

DID MAC AND DESI BREAK UP? I cannot imagine them quarantining together for 10 months and maintaining their sanity. 10 months is a long time for MacDesi and if they survived it... It is possible them breaking up this second time around (for MacRiley to happen) just got a whole lot more complicated.

So there are 2 possibilities because we know Mac and Riley have to happen at some point RIGHT?!! *I WILL LOSE IT IF THEY DONT*

1. Mac and Desi broke up a few months in and this press release photo has more going on then meets the eye. At face value it seems like Mac and Desi might still be dating but I doubt that very much. Why? ill talk about that in a minute. Also if they broke up a few months (into the 10) that would leave sufficient time for Mac to get his head back in the game and if he and Riley happened then she wouldn't look like a rebound. (OH GOD PLEASE BE THIS!!)

2. Mac and Desi haven't broken up but knowing their track record they haven't exactly had a smooth 10 months. Now this would mean that when they do break up eventually, (there is a certain chance they may not at all and MacDesi might be endgame...NOOO) we will actually see it happen but I dont know why the writers would want to risk pulling the show down by anchoring Mac and Desi in this chaotic relationship not a lot of us are even fans of and slowing down the whole timeline of things. This is the theory I am not a big fan of but I guess we will know in the next 48 hours.

Okay now that we have the relationships out of the way lets talk about the plot.

We know Codex isn't done yet. LeLand is still out there and they seem to be the main focus this season. Again we dont know much about this and only time will tell. 

The team does seem to be back and going on their usual missions but you have to remember there are around 4-6 episode from the original season 4 that never aired (due to covid). Plus the show runner changed so it will now be an alternation between the old s4 episodes that are definitely more Codex focused and the usual missions that might somehow tie into the big picture (even if they dont im not complaining!) This will give them time to develop the other plot lines and hopefully give us some happy moments too! (can we not kill anymore of Mac’s blood relatives? oh wait THEY ARE ALL ALREADY DEAD!!)

Another HUGE THING that I am very happy that the writers decided to tackle in terms of inter personal drama is trust issues.

As we all know when Mac kinda-sort-of went rogue towards the end of season 4, Riley was the only one who had complete faith in him while Matty and Bozer knew there was clearly more going on....BUT Russ and Desi didn't stop for even a second to consider that Mac might be doing the right thing. 

Now you have to know this. Russ and Desi are not only new to the team but the world is very black and white for them. (Desi more than Russ actually) While Russ did some very gray area things he always thinks like a soldier just like Desi. For them people are mostly good or bad. You cant do (kinda) bad things for good reasons.

As we saw in the sneak peek where Russ doubts Mac and Mac gives Russ a piece of his mind about not trusting him, there is definitely a lot of conflict going on. (I expect Mac to have the same issue with Desi because if I remember clearly unlike Russ, Desi never apologised to Mac about holding him at gunpoint. How pronounced that issue is and if Mac and Desi break up because of it..only time will tell.) 

I have to say though Mac telling Russ off was pretty amazing. It seems like he’s finally talking his mind and not taking shit from people. I cant wait to see more of sassy Mac!!! (wonder what brought that out...hmmmmmmmhmmm)

The events of season 4 are definitely going to influence a lot of what happens in season 5 and I cant wait!! Less than 48 hours to go!!!!!!

P.S. One more quick thing. Everyone has been saying that since MacGyver now has a LA unit Jack might be back since George Eads wanted to be closer to LA but all the shooting for MacGyver happened in Atlanta so that problem might have been resolved (I dont know how likely or unlikely that is its just something that came to my attention).

Also our favourite psychopath aka Murdoc could show up in S5 too since David Dastmalchian the actor who portrays Murdoc is also in LA right now (or at least he was till the 29th of Nov) along with Meredith Eaton for whom travelling to Atlanta is dangerous because she has several health issues. (I am happy they haven't written her out completely just because of COVID) We shall just have to wait and watch!

[lycanomancy]

the Fallout 4 pokemon au no one asked for.

I asked one (1) person if this was wanted and they said yes. So, here is a 17 page list of the Fo4 companions as gymleaders and Elite 4. 

for followup on type choices, here ya go

edit// as i view this more ill probably make changes/adjustments

 Warning- This post is 17 pages long in Google Docs. This is not a simple snack, it’s a Golden Coral buffet. For the love of Arceus dont open if you’re on mobile. Your phone will melt.

GYM LEADERS

SANCTUARY

Codsworth: Beats doing housework!

A Mister Handy that’s kept Sanctuary from collapsing for 200 years, Codsy is a gentleman through and through. His old owner supposedly dead, he’s still keeping the house spick and span. While tending to the Carrot Flowers, two little creatures wandered up to him, and the metal butler was smitten. Scavengers who come to pick through the ruins are met with a robot who is very insistent on not letting people steal from his neighbors, dead or not. After word got out to avoid Sanctuary if you didn’t want your Pokemon to faint, people started coming in droves to meet the challenge. “It’s just a robot, how bad could it be?” Answer: Quite bad. He doesn’t really have a Gym, but the Elite 4 noticed him enough to make him a Leader. His Badge is the Rust Badge, and he gives out TM61, Will-o-wisp.

Codsworth - Fire

Vulpix

Will-o-wisp

Quick Attack

Tail Whip

Ability - Flash Fire

Growlithe

Bite

Ember

Leer

Ability - Intimidate

DIAMOND CITY

Piper Wright: Can’t stop the Press!

Piper is a part-time gym-leader, part-time reporter, and full time sister. With her hectic schedule, her composed Grass types help her errands and keeping her sane. Piper’s paper, Publick Occurrences, used to be about news and advice for Trainers, but lately it’s been mostly accusing the city’s mayor of consorting with the shadowy Institute, known for stealing Pokemon and kidnapping people. Because of this, Mayor McDonough is constantly threatening to take Piper’s Gym (and Pokemon) away. She’s been arrested multiple times for disturbing the peace and causing fights among the citizens of Diamond City, no matter how hard her team tries to stop her. If you can withstand her onslaught of status moves, she gives you the Paper Badge and TM86, Grass Knot.

Piper Wright - Grass

Leavanny

Bug Bite

Protect

String Shot

Razor leaf

Ability - Swarm

Item - Sitrus Berry

Lilligant

Sleep Powder

Mega Drain

Magical Leaf

Growth

Ability - Own Tempo

Roserade

Stun Spore

Magical leaf

Leech Seed

Grass Knot

Ability - Poison Point

TRINITY TOWER

Strong: Strong is Strong.

Trinity Tower was a ruin after the war; but recently, Fighting-Type Trainers have made the place a Dojo, training themselves and their Pokemon with discipline and restraint. The Gym Leader doesn’t do any of this. Strong uses absolute brute force to decimate his foes and underlings. Strong came to Trinity Tower because he heard that Fighting-Types were strong against Normal-Types. After wiping the floor with the trainers, he demolished the previous Leader to the point the man went off the grid in embarrassment. Even though his underlings’ favoured Pokemon counter his own, his ferocity and mercilessness lets his Normal-Type Pokemon stand victorious. If you can fight his brawn with brain, he gives you the Berzerk Badge, along with TM64, Explosion, which he is so very sad his Pokemon can’t use.

Strong - Normal

Ursaring

Brick Break

Lick

Slash

Feint Attack

Ability - Guts

Tauros

Payback

Stomp

Horn Attack

Rock Tomb

Ability - Anger point

Miltank

Rollout

Stomp

Milk Drink

Defense Curl

Ability - Scrappy

THE COMBAT ZONE

Cait: The Irish Cage Fighter!

The Combat Zone was once a theater, before the war. After the bombs dropped, it was turned into a fighting ring. It had actually decent customers and audiences, until raiders took over. But, throughout it all (excluding before the war), Cait was the star of the show. She beats her opponents down and down and down, whether with her fists or her Pokemons’. She used to be the 5th leader, but after the raiders took over, her mental health went on a rapid decline and consequently, so did her battle ability. Now, she’s far better at beating someone’s face in with a bat than she is with Pokemon. Her Pokemon are very strong, but she just can’t use their power to her advantage anymore. Her badge is the Trigger Rush badge, and she gives you TM08, Bulk Up. Also - your biggest threat isn’t her Machamp. That Stufful will destroy you, your team, and your will to live.

Cait - Fighting

Stufful

Brutal Swing

Brick Break

Bulk Up

Thunderpunch

Ability - Cute Charm

Item - Sitrus Berry

Machamp

Karate Chop

Focus Energy

Foresight

Submission

Ability - No Guard

Hitmonchan

Mach Punch

Bullet Punch

Ice Punch

Bulk Up

Ability - Iron Fist

GOODNEIGHBOR

Hancock: Of the People, For the People!

As the Mayor of GoodNeighbor, John Hancock doesn’t want to waste time and resources for an actual Gym. To challenge him, simply walk up and ask for a battle. Since Hancock is the Mayor, he doesn’t have a lot of time to spend battling, so he fights only a select few of his challengers. First, they have to get in good with his town. If the challenger doesn’t follow the rules of GoodNeighbor and disrespects anyone in his town, they’re not getting a battle. Second, they have to get a reputation as a strong trainer. Hancock doesn’t like wasting his time with overconfident people who more bark than bite, and he doesn’t like crushing dreams of younger trainers who just want to prove themselves. If you can somehow defeat his beloved Scizor, he gives you the Isotope Badge, along with TM28, Leech Life.

Hancock - Bug

Heracross

Fury Cutter

Aerial Ace

Night Slash

Double Team

Ability - Guts

Scizor

Bullet Punch

Fury Cutter

Wing Attack

Focus Energy

Ability - Technician

Item - Sitrus Berry

Scolipede

Bug Bite

Rollout

Iron Defense

Poison tail

Ability - Swarm

Galvantula

Thunder Wave

Electroweb

Bug Bite

Leech Life

Ability - Compound Eyes

LOCATION UNKNOWN

No one knows.

The Sixth Leader is almost impossible to find. It changes daily. No one has ever fought the same Gym leader. Also, there’s no set gym. The Gym Leader will either be always on the move, or in a undisclosed, forgotten ruin that no one can find. They always have the same Pokemon and sunglasses, however, so some suspect it’s the same person being a jerk. The League claims that the leader hasn’t changed in years, and that the badge is authorized, but since no one can find the Leader, the badge isn’t necessary to fight the league. Apparently, the badge is the Cloak & Dagger badge, and the assigned Technical Machine is TM99, Dazzling Gleam.

                                                 Deacon - Fairy

Sylveon

Light Screen

Swift

Draining Kiss

Misty Terrain

Ability - Cute Charm

Item - Lum Berry

Clefable

Sing

Minimize

Magical Leaf

Metronome

Ability - Magic Guard

Florges

Swagger

Moonblast

Petal Blizzard

Wish

Ability - Flower Veil

Mimikyu

Shadow Sneak

Double Team

Toxic

Feint Attack

Ability - Disguise

Item - Sitrus berry

CAMBRIDGE

X6-88: Pokemon Redefined.

Who is the strange man that appeared out of nowhere to take over when the last Gym Leader moved? No one seems to know. The most heartless of both the Gym leaders and the Elite 4, he has no mercy for his challengers, and little respect for his underlings. As much as he appears to hate pretty much everyone, he strangely seems to like the 8th Gym Leader, who hates him. Despite how ruthless he is with training and work, and how hard he pushes people to push their Pokemon, he has been seen using baby-talk with his own. His Pokemon are wickedly strong, but if you can melt them down, you win the Harmonic badge, with TM79, Frost Breath. Also, he’ll be your  #1 fan.

X6-88- Ice

Ninetales (Ice/Fairy)

Confuse ray

Ice Beam

Nasty Plot

Disable

Ability - Snow Warning

Item - Occa Berry

Aurorus

Thunder wave

Ancient Power

Aurora Beam

Take Down

Ability - Refrigerate

Glaceon

Hail

Frost Breath

Swift

Attract

Ability - Ice Body

Weavile

Embargo

Ice Punch

Night Slash

Beat Up

Ability - Pressure

Froslass

Will-o-wisp

Ominous wind

Destiny Bond

Frost Breath

Ability - Cursed Body

Sanctuary (Previously Cambridge and Boston Airport)

Danse: Shock and awe!

Danse’s old Gym was at the Cambridge Police Station, and then the Brotherhood Prydwen when it showed up. His battle tactics got the attention of the League, and they basically harassed him to accept. He only did because being a Gym Leader gives him and his Pokemon plenty of exercise and training. The supplies given as a ‘welcome’ gift from the E4 and the good rep he was getting for the Brotherhood didn’t hurt either. However, something happened within the Brotherhood, and Danse was kicked out. He’s still a Gym Leader, despite the protest of one of the Elite 4, and he now shares Sanctuary with Codsy. He has a shiny Skitty named Cupcake. His badge is the Authority Badge, and he gives you TM91, Flash Cannon. After being exiled, his mental health, much like Cait, has gone with the wind. Not only is he too mentally out of it to perform the best he can, his Pokemon are also thrown out of the loop, and are worried to death over him. He’s not nearly as powerful as he was a month ago. 

Danse - Steel

Aegislash

Shadow Sneak

King’s Shield

Sword’s Dance

Sacred Sword

Ability - Stance Change

Metagross

Meteor Mash

EarthQuake

Hammer Arm

Agility

Ability - Clear Body

Item - Sitrus berry

Aggron

Earthquake

Avalanche

Giga Impact

Screech

Ability - Rock Head

Lucario (Mega stone)

Dragon Pulse

Aura Sphere

Psychic

Waterpulse

Ability - Steadfast/Adaptability

Item - Lucarionite

ELITE 4

Curie: Though dangerous, battle is quite vigorous exercise!

Everyone in the League agrees: Curie is an absolute angel, too good for the Commonwealth. As an Elite 4 member, though, she’s the most hellish devil from the darkest pit of...hell. An avid lover of poison types, and prodigal with potions and status healers, Curie doesn’t fight offensively, but defensively, planning out her strategy to outlast her opponents until the poisons and confusion does the damage for her. Honestly, she only uses poison types because studying them helps her find cures and medicines, which she gladly shares with anyone. After battling her, she’ll heal your Pokemon and give you more supplies, whether you win or lose. Curie won’t let you give up. She has an Audino that she uses as a nurse to heal both people and Pokemon. It has little pom-poms to cheer you on as you battle Curie.

Curie - Poison

Venusaur

Petal Dance

Poison Powder

Leech Seed

Sludge Bomb

Ability - Overgrow

Vileplume

Sunny Day

Sludge Bomb

Sleep Powder

Grassy Terrain

Ability - Chlorophyll

Gengar

Toxic

Facade

Confuse Ray

Shadow Ball

Ability - Cursed Body

Item - Leftovers

Scolipede

Baton Pass

Sword’s Dance

Iron Defense

Ability - Speed Boost

Dragalge

Dragon Pulse

Sludge Bomb

Water Pulse

Smokescreen

Ability - Poison Point

Elder Maxson: Ad Victoriam.

Intelligence, strength, power. These are some of many words used to describe Arthur Maxson, the Elder of his army, the Brotherhood of Steel. As the the Elder, Maxson personally makes sure his soldiers know what it means to be a Pokemon trainer. It isn’t about strength, defense, or speed, but raw determination, discipline, and respect for your team. Elder Maxson radiates power and generates respect. He stands tall, so his soldiers and Pokemon may look up to him. He walks with confidence, so his soldiers and Pokemon may march besides him with hope and vigor. Also, he’s kind of...racist. And pretty much anyone that isn’t a BoS soldier hates him. Has tried to personally kill the 7th and 8th gym leader - stopped because if he succeeded, he’d be booted from the E4, which he wants the BoS to have a firm foothold in. 

Elder Maxson - Dragon

Altaria

Cotton Guard

Dragon Pulse

Flamethrower

Sing

Ability - Natural Cure

Flygon

Dragon rush

Earth power

Sand Attack

Faint Attack

Ability - Levitate

Garchomp

Dig

Dragon Claw

Double Edge

Brick Break

Ability - Rough Skin

Item - Sitrus Berry

Haxorus

Dragon Dance

Dragon Rush

Iron Tail

Reversal

Ability - Rivalry

Kommo-o

Clanging Scales

Dragon Dance

Fire Punch

Poison Jab

Ability - Bulletproof

MacCready: ‘Nother notch on my rifle!

Robert Joseph MacCready - a name that will bring a myriad of reactions depending on who you mention it to. Either despised or adored, people can agree on one thing only - the young man is way too good for his age. Picking up both a sniper rifle and a Fletchling at a young age to protect his people, MacCready is rude, greedy, materialistic - and a total family guy. His Togekiss and Drifblim were his wife’s before she died. He uses multiple tactics to win, and fights dirty. Defensive strategies and accuracy are key to reaching the Champion. If you lose, expect raspberries and ‘L’s and ‘neener neener neener’.

MacCready  - Flying

Braviary

Hone Claws

Sky Drop

Rock Slide

Crush Claw

Ability - Defiant

Togekiss

Nasty Plot

Aura Sphere

Air Slash

Sweet Kiss

Ability - Serene Grace

Drifblim

Amnesia

Nasty Plot

Baton Pass

Shadow Ball

Ability - Aftermath

TalonFlame

Flare Blitz

Brave Bird

Steel Wing

Roost

Ability - Gale wings

Item - Sitrus Berry

Noivern

Hurricane

Dragon pulse

Supersonic

Water Pulse

Ability - Telepathy

Valentine: Peering deep into the darkness, wondering, fearing.

As the Commonwealth’s best (only) detective, Nick Valentine is always working. His room in the Elite 4 is his office, with papers stacked to the ceiling. His main office/workplace is in Diamond City, with his secretary, Ellie Perkins, running it while he’s away. It’s odd that he uses Dark-types, but people think he only uses them to fit his “Noir-Detective” aesthetic. They’re right and wrong. They do fit his aesthetic, especially with the black/pink color scheme with his Psychic types, but Dark types have a knack for solving mysteries. That knack, paired again with his Psychic Pokemon, help him immensely with cases. That, and their mischievousness is cute to him. Dogmeat, a shiny wild Mightyena, is often consulted for his nose-work.

Valentine - Dark/Psychic

Umbreon

Toxic

Confuse Ray

Double Team

Shadow Ball

Ability - Synchronize

Zoroark

Hone Claws

U-Turn

Night Slash

Embargo

Ability - Illusion

Absol

Future Sight

Taunt

Sucker Punch

Charge Beam

Ability - Super Luck

Espeon

Psychic

Morning Sun

Calm Mind

Attract

Meowstic

Psybeam

Reflect

Sucker Punch

Ability - Infiltrator

Gardevoir

Psychic

Signal Beam

Draining Kiss

Hypnosis

Ability - Trace

THE CHAMPION

Preston Garvey: Protect the people at a minute’s notice.

Before the Minutemen army collapsed, they prided themselves on their Pokemon. Every Soldier was given a team that could best help with building settlements and protecting them. Water, Electric, and Grass types were mandatory, for growing food, electricity, and clean water. Preston joined the ranks with a Mudbray he had since he was a kid, born from his dad’s Mudsdale. It was the only Pokemon of his to survive Quincy. After the massacre, he made it his goal to be strong enough to never let history repeat itself. After Sanctuary was able to defend itself, he set out to find weak Pokemon, as he was raised to believe the strongest creatures start out as the smallest. Now, that determination can be seen by trainers all across the Commonwealth. Preston has the ability to carry out the protection he swore to the people of the wasteland, and he will mow down anyone or thing who threatens them. 

Preston - Mixed types

Dragonite

Outrage

Fire Punch

Roost

Thunderbolt

Ability - Inner Focus

Milotic

Water Pulse

Rain Dance

Ice Beam

Dragon Breath

Ability - Marvel Scale

Jolteon

Rain Dance

Thunder

Signal Beam

Shadow Ball

Ability - Volt Absorb

Arcanine

Extreme Speed

Flamethrower

Sunny Day

Solar Beam

Ability - Intimidate

Mudsdale

Bulldoze

Iron Defense

Superpower

Heavy Slam

Ability - Own Tempo

Item - Leftovers

Sawsbuck

Horn Leech

Aromatherapy

Sunny Day

Wild Charge

Ability - Chlorophyll

Item - Heat Rock

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Wrecked part 4

The next few weeks passed in a blur, after negan and the saviors came back from their supply run it was like i had never said i love you to negan. He didnt act any different and he never said it back. Which i knew how negan was before i said it, he doesnt love not anymore.

The saviors were gearing up for something big. I had been hearing negan talk to simon for a week or two now about a group that needed to 'shown whos boss.' I didnt know who they were talking about but this group had already killed more saviors than negan was comfortable with, and i didnt feel like letting negan go out there alone. Its not that i thought something would happen to him because i knew better. I just wanted to be by my husbands side.

Negan had gave the order early that morning for the saviors to span out and block any road that this group would and could use. They would filter them through the woods and end up right in the clearing negan wanted them. They had no idea what was coming for them.

Negan was heading up the stairs when i caught up with him. "Negan, wait a minute."

He turned with a smile, "whats on your mind doll?" He placed a kiss on my lips and grabbed my hand.

"I need to talk to you about tonight." That got his attention, he led me upstairs to one of the rooms he used for meetings. He pulled out my chair, i smiled and still chuckled at how much of a gentleman he is despite his reputation. I sat down and he took the chair across from me, hee placed lucielle on the table and folded his hands over each other on the table.

"Lets hear it."

I cleared my throat, "i want to be with you tonight. You know when you trap that one group."

He smiled, "you want to be front row and fuckin center?" I nodded and he stared at me for a few seconds then shook his head. "Sorry baby, but this group isnt like the others. When they get cornered they do stupid shit and i cant have you caught in the crossfire."

I sigh, "you know im more than capable of holding my own. I want to be with you tonight. I wont take no for an answer." I cross my arms and dig my heels in, i wont budge and he knows it.

"Why do you want to be there so fuckin bad? Dont tell me youre worried about me, cause you know what the fuck i can fuckin do." He says leaning forward.

"No," i shake my head "i know youll be fine. I...i just." Somehow the words doesnt want to come out now. I sigh and drop my head.

"Hey." He whispers and i look up at his intense eyes and find him smiling. "Say it." He growls, he knows exactly why but he wants me to say it.

"Because i love you." I whisper, he stands suddenly and im in his arms in a second. His lips scorch mine, i feel like im going to burst into flames every time he kisses me.

"Ill make you a deal." He growls as he pulls away. "You can come with me tonight if...." His tongue darts out aand licks his lower lip.

"If what?" I breathe out, not caring what he wants me to do or what hes going to ask. Ill do anything for this man, anything.

He smiles and steps back a step, "get on your fuckin knees." He says as he reaches for his belt. I drop down to my knees, he unzips and unbuttons his pants and lets them fall in a pile at his ankles. His hard cock just an inch or so away from my mouth, i lick my lips anxious to taste him.

He grabs my hair in his fist, "open that perfect fuckin mouth." I do as im told and he shoves his dick to the back of my throat. I gag and he moans as he thrusts himself in and out of my mouth. I can feel spit on my chin and my eyes are watering uncontrolably but i am loving every second.

"Im going to cum baby doll." I moan at his words, i love pleasing him. He shoves his dick to the back of my throat and i feel his hot cum spill into my mouth. "Fuckin swallow every bit." I do as im told, i feel him twitch a few more times then he pulls out.

He reaches in his jacket pocket and hands me a hankerchief, i wipe my face and mouth then i clean him off. He reaches his hand out to me, i take it and he pulls me to my feet. After he pulls his pants back up and buckles his belt he kisses me slowly and passionately. "Alright baby, you can come with me tonight."

I smile and thank him, we make our way out of the room and to the armory. "Lets get you geared up." He says with a smile, and at that moment i fell even more in love with him.

@holylulusworld @an-unhealthy-obsession @vicmc624 @justanotherwinchester @tftumblin @jesseswartzwelder

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

[turtle-steverogers]

WTF is Cats About?

ralbert and cats the musical :)

warnings: none, cept cats the musical (if ur a cats stan, i swear im not making fun of it,,,,just,,,,,cats)

ship: ralbert

word count: 1577

editing: no lmao...CATS

-

Albert likes to think he’s gotten used to all of Race’s funny quirks and little habits.  He’d long since given up on getting him to stop biting his nails and the whole twirling his hair while he relaxes thing is pretty endearing.  But there are some things that still surprise him.  

Like his utterly amazing habit of withholding big life changes until they’re glaringly important and then announcing them as if he’s commenting on the weather.

Which is why Albert basically spits his tea all over his laptop one morning when Race announces he’s been cast in the fucking Broadway revival of Cats.

Fucking Cats.

Albert doesn’t even know what Cats is about.  Not that he’s ever really had the desire to know.  The whole show is a little too...furry for him.

It had been a mild Sunday morning up until then.  The sky was clear and blue and the sun rays hit just right on their bed, waking them up, but not disturbing them.  They’d lounged around for a few hours, switching between lazy morning cuddles and tiredly making out.  Life since moving to the City together had been exhilarating.  The freedom they’d once yearned for so heavily was finally at their fingertips, lending them the time to focus on their dreams and basking in the post college glow of their early adulthood.

Race worked at the local pizza joint when he wasn’t auditioning for whatever he could find casting calls for (which apparently included fucking Cats the fucking musical).  It was a good gig for him; it kept him busy and entertained.  Something Albert struggled to do single-handedly.

Albert on the other hand worked at a dingy mechanics shop a few blocks away, fixing up old cars on the side while working his way through the prestigious culinary grad program he’d somehow managed to get into.  All in all, they were doing well for themselves as 24 year olds living alone in New York City.

Somehow, they’d managed to drag themselves out of bed and into the kitchen, where Albert fixed them a modest breakfast of omelettes before docking at the counter to sort through some emails.  

Race was sitting next to him, absentmindedly petting Chips, their orange tabby, when he states, “I got cast in the Broadway revival of Cats.”

Albert pauses mid-type, glancing up at his boyfriend, who’s still intently looking at Chips, running his hand down the length of his back, “You what!?”

Race takes a deep breath, then repeats, “I got cast in the Broadway revival of Cats.”

Albert’s been rendered speechless by Race plenty of times in his 6+ years of knowing him.  But he’s never felt quite as...dumbfounded before.

“You got cast...in Cats?” He asks slowly, before shaking his head and backing up, “Wait, no, hang on, hang on...you auditioned for fucking Cats?”

Race ducks his head, a blush forming under his collar and around his ears, “Uh, yeah, I meant to mention it...but it never came up?”

Albert blinks again, “Who- what- what even is Cats?”

Race goes to answer, then closes his mouth hastily, “I don’t...actually really know…”

“How don’t you know?  You’re in the damn show!”

“I was only just cast!  I don’t know it that well yet!”

Albert makes a choked noise, “Okay, but you should at least know what the fuck the show is about if you went through a damn audition process- wait, when was this even happening? What- I’m so confused right now...my fucking boyfriend got cast in a Broadway musical- FUCKING CATS- and I didn’t even know he was auditioning.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!” Race says, looking alarmed at Albert’s impending Cats- induced mental breakdown.  Chips gives an annoyed meow at the lack of attention being bestowed onto her and leaps off the counter, trotting away to find Queso, their golden doodle.

“I mean, you’re not entitled to tell me everything about your life, just...wow, I mean, this is big,” Albert scrubs a hand down his face, “I didn’t do anything to make you feel like you couldn’t share this with me, did I?”

Race’s face softens, “No, of course not, Albie,” he sighs, reaching across the table and linking their hands together, “I just got caught up in everything...sometimes things just feel so busy and overwhelming and I like to process it alone before letting other people in on it.”

Albert squeezes his hand, “That’s understandable,” he smiles, bending down to kiss his knuckles, “And congrats! I’m so proud of you! I mean, fucking Broadway...my boyfriend’s gonna be on Broadway.”

Race beams, “Thanks.”

“We have to celebrate,” Albert concludes, “I’m calling Spot and the others.  You better not have work tonight, ‘cause we’re going out for drinks.”

Race shakes his head, bemused, as Albert pulls out his phone to text their group chat.  

“Fucking Cats…” Albert murmurs as he sends the text, “Fuckin’....Cats.”

XXX

“Can you say that your bite is worse than your bark?  Are you cock of the walk when you’re walking alone?  Because jellicles are and jellicles do, jellicles do and jellicles would, jellicles would and…”

Albert freezes in the doorway to their apartment, slowly closing the door behind him as he strains his ears.  He follows the sound of the weirdly tempoed music to the kitchen, where Race is bopping around by the microwave, reheating last night’s dinner of chicken curry.

“Hey,” Albert calls, setting the groceries on the counter.

Race glances over, flashing Albert a smile and turning down the music a few notches.

“Hey, yourself,” he says, pulling his bowl out of the microwave and stirring it a bit with a fork to cool it down.

Albert crosses to him, pecking him on the lips quickly and grabbing a glass for water.

“Jellicles can and jellicles do, jellicles can and jellicles do…”

Albert wrinkles his nose, “the fuck even is a jellicle?”

Race shrugs, shoveling a forkful of curry into his mouth, “Dunno, some type of cat?  Google it.”

Albert hums, “So this is Cats then?  Interesting music.”

“I know, it’s kinda weird,” Race says, perching at the counter, “But it grows on you.  Rehearsal started today, so…”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” Albert places his glass in the sink and leans against the counter, “How’d it go?”

“Pretty well, I made a few friends,” Race says, “Jojo’s in it.”

Albert smiles, “No kidding! That’s crazy.”

“Right?  I didn’t even know he was auditioning!”

“Seems to be the trend with this show.”

“I get it, I get it,” Race rolls his eyes, looking a little guilty.

“Jellicle songs for jellicle cats, jellicle songs for jellicle cats, jellicle songs for jellicle…”

“If they say ‘jellicle’ one more time I’m going to shoot myself,” Albert growls.

Race whips his head up, eyes slightly wide, “Oh, honey, you are not going to make it through this one…”

“Fantastic.”

XXX

“Hey, Race, have you seen my- WHAT THE FUCK!”

Race turns away from the bathroom mirror, fixing Albert with an innocent look.

“Have I seen your what?” He asks.

“No,” Albert says, pointing a finger, “First answer what the FUCK happened to your face.”

Race turns back to the mirror, dabbing some more orange cream foundation around his eyes.  Disturbingly, Albert notes that his makeup design looks very similar to Chips.

“Gotta do our own makeup for the show,” Race answers, padding a generous amount of setting powder around his face, “I’m practising.”

“Right…” Albert rakes his eyes over Race’s features.  So far, the makeup only spans on his face and down his neck a little, “What else does your costume entail exactly?”

Race grins wickedly and Albert swallows.  

“Oh, you’ll see.”

XXX

“Do you like my tail?”

Albert slowly closes his book, praying for strength as he looks up.  Race is standing by the doorway, rehearsal bag dropped at his feet.  His face is smudged- like he tried and failed to clean off all the layers of his meticulous cat makeup.  He’s dressed normally in adidas workout pants and a random t-shirt from a color run they did years back.  Protruding (Albert doesn’t wanna know how, but alas) from his backside is an orange tabby cat tail.

“Did you choose to be the same kind of cat as Chips?  Or was it some sort of creepy coincidence,” Albert deadpans, refusing to look at the tail longer than he has to and keeping his eyes fixed on Race’s face.

Race’s smile drops a fraction of an inch, “Wait, it’s weird that I chose to be her breed?”

Albert groans and picks back up his book.

XXX

“Congratulations!” 

Albert is met with a faceful of Race’s blond curls as the cast comes swarming out of the stagedoor.  He smells like makeup remover and sweat, but Albert doesn’t care as he kisses him, pride swelling in his chest.  

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the exhilarating feeling of seeing Race shine onstage.

“Thanks!” Race looks high on adrenaline and Albert never wants that light to leave his eyes, “What did you think?”

“You were so good!  Everyone was!  And the music was all better than I first thought it would be,” Albert said, playfully swaying them back and forth where they stood, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Race, “Just one question.”

Race cocks his head, “what’s up?”

“What the fuck is Cats about?”

Race tips his head back and laughs, “I still have no fucking clue.”

-

the word ‘cats’ doesn’t even sound real anymore and i think that’s fitting

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @getchapapes @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable 

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @technically-whizzy

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[shenani-gan]

Get to Know Me Better

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better.

1. Dogs or Cats?

While I love all animals, I stick to cats because easier to care for than dogs.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

Neither tbh

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

Uhhhhhh. A nice wooded place near the ocean or some sort of water that gets all 4 seasons. Though mostly the cooler ones like winter and fall.

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

Depends on the film. While I love a majority of the classic Disney movies, like the ones that came out during the Disney Renaissance, I love a lot of the stuff Dreamworks has put out and I feel they do a better long term job with their stuff, as most sequels dont suck ass unlike Disney sequels.

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

Darkwing Duck and Gargoyles. (Wow that says something about my aesthetics...)

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

I’m not. I’ve kinda given up on most movies as they seem to be mostly cash grabs at this point than new, interesting films with decent plots.

7. Favourite book you read in 2019?

I haven’t. I honestly don’t get the opportunity to read much anymore, much as I would like to. (Also my attention span has been SHIT lately.)

8. Marvel or DC?

Both. They both have amazing characters and some not so amazing ones.

9. If you choose Marvel favourite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

X-Men would have to be Wolverine

Justice League.... depends. Traditionally it’s Batman, though if we’re going with the version they threw out in the 2000′s, it’s a toss up between Hawk Girl and The Flash.

10. Night or Day?

Night.

11. Favourite Pokemon?

Mew or Abra. I love them both.

12. Top 5 bands:

Uhhhhhh.... I don’t tend to go for specific bands, but songs themselves but let’s try.

1) Two Steps From Hell

2) The Piano Guys

3) Lindsey Sterling

4) Lizzo

5) Peter Hollens

Yeah idfk. I have a hard time with that shit because I don’t just stick to one particular artist, I hop around according to my moods.

13. Top 10 books.

Welp. Here we go.

1) Dragon Riders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey

2) The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice (Even if she’s a bitch to fanfic writers)

3) Harry Potter  by JK Rowling

4) Lamb by Christopher Moore (Fucking hilarious omg)

5) The Hobbit by JRR Tolkein

6) The Lord of the Rings (Also by JRR Tolkein)

7) Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

8) Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

9) The Devil’s Queen by  Jeanne Kalogridis

10) I’m having trouble remembering another book that I’ve read and enjoyed also the sound of my husband eating is driving me crazy and my concentration is breaking....

14. Top 4 movies

Not even going to try. I fucking hate these lists.

15. America or Europe?

I prefer Europe. Besdies the fact that it’s GORGEOUS... the history and food alone compel me...

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

Meh. Either? Both have their ups and downs. Tumblr has more downs tho lbr 

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Pro-choice

18. Favourite YouTuber?

I dont have any.

19. Favourite author ?

I dont have one. Seems any time I find one they somehow end up being problematic and if you like them you’re an awful human being. Or some shit. Also it’s been a while since I’ve read anything.

20. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee. Always the coffee.

21. OTP ?

I dont have one.

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

Nope. Tone deaf as a mother fucker thought I used to sing in my school’s chorus when I was a teenager.

I was tagged by @resistance-ranger​ and am just now getting to it.

Tagging.... whoever wants to do this I guess.

[99deux]

21 questions tag!

answer 21 questions and tag 21 people (that’s soo many people so i wont...do that) I was tagged by @xunqi thank you so much for tagging me !! 🥰

1. Name: fran(cine) 2. Nickname: i go by fran here but its not actually my name so i guess that ? other than that... cine, ciney and uhhh frangipane 3. Gender: female 4. Star sign: aquarius 5. Current time: 6:30pm 6. Favorite artist(s): exo babey !!! although my og boys are all time low lmao i was a lil emo punk before i converted to exoism 7. Favorite song: i don’t think i have one tbh 🤔a lot of my friends do associate me with cherish by cbx tho, i love a funky bop 8. Song stuck in your head: monday to saturday by seventeen ! *chefs kiss* (also un village somehow) 9. Last movie you saw: parasite in the cinema probably? i don’t watch movies very often, i prefer shorter things bc of my shit attention span 10. Last thing you googled: 180902 chanyeol 11. Other blogs: i run too many blogs.... @happyminseok @happydks @happykjm @happy-pcy and some other ones that are mostly inactive lmao 12. Main: this one ! 13. Do you get asks?: very rarely, im a hermit 14. Reason for your url: i yearn to see x-minseok and was robbed 15. Average amount of sleep: i take whatever i can get... i love sleep but she does not love me back 16. Lucky number: 18 probably 17. Currently wearing: crop top and shorts (aka my pyjamas lmao) 18. Dream job: just vaguely thinking about my future makes me. so anxious lmao...something that gives me enough freedom i suppose, both financially and time wise 19. Dream trips: i’ve been before but would like to spend more time exploring different parts of japan and korea 20. Favorite foods: don’t think i have one either 🤔but i do prefer savory foods to sweet ones  21. Play any instruments: hm i used to play the guitar, piano and oboe but i dont remember how to anymore, i played the drums for like 8 years but haven’t since coming to uni

im not gonna tag 21 people dkfkdf, if anyone wants to do this then just say i tagged you !! but i will tag @amaranth bc she does anything i ask her to lmao

[skaian-fiddler]

State of the Webcomic

Im not sure what I wanted this to be when I started writing it. I know that as of late, Homestuck, in terms of its fanbase and its surrounding politics, has been pretty bleak. And I know that it feels like there arent alot of us left that care anymore. So I guess this is going to be something of a chronicle of the comic, and its involvement in my own experience. If youre just here for classpecting memes, feel free to totally disregard this. Otherwise… strap the fuck in I guess? Theres a nonzero amount of words about to come at you. For this 4/13, this is my account of Homestuck.

On April 13th, 2009, some guy with a shitty url published the first page of an indie webcomic. As I have come to understand, this fact would eventually become something of a ‘big deal’. At the time, however, it was not. I wouldnt be aware of its existence for quite some time.

Some years passed, and people started learning that this weird thing existed. The webcomic had survived through its fledgeling stages, and had managed to gain enough momentum and a fanbase large enough to keep above the surface and on peoples radar. At this stage, the only thing I knew about the webcomic was a single word, whispered in hushed tones: “Homestuck.” A few more years passed and the fandom began to grow steadily in proportion to a roster of increasingly convoluted characters, as well as the hair-brained complexity of the comics plot.

And then, Cascade.

I heard rumor of a webcomic that went off so huge that it fucking broke Newgrounds. Suddenly the fandom was omnipresent, and potentially out of control. From what ive picked up, it was a pretty rad time to be a nerd. “Somewhere, a soused uncle deliberately shatters china on the floor. Muddy livestock is decorated, and then lost track of. The question ‘Who's mule is this?’ at times can be heard over the din. This is now your reality.”

But, as much as I was starting to learn exactly what Homestuck was, I was hearing equally as much in terms of negativity about its fandom. Of their overwhelming presence during conventions, their reputation for immaturity, the torrents of unsealed gray face paint flooding the lobbies of unsuspecting hotels. So, I stayed away. This was like, late middle school for me, and there was no way in hell I was going to risk putting my image-obsessed ass on the line for a bunch of rainbow blooded zodiac alien shitlords and their apocalyptic tendencies. So, I stayed away.

It really was the first time something pop culture had ever gotten this big. Openbound hit, and it got bigger? Somehow? More trolls? Jesus christ. The fandom kept growing at an exponential rate, faster than people could process it, and so much so that nobody else knew how to handle it.

And then it… stopped.

The Gigapause, I think it was called. At the height of their power, the fandom was left with nothing, no new content to grab hold of, no new development to fuel their fan works, no anything. The fandom starts to lose speed. A spot of hope happens, during act 6 and is subsequently dashed against the rocks below as the Omegapause kicks in. I wasnt paying attention. I was busy, there was work to be done trying to get into college.

And just as suddenly as it had come, it was gone. The webcomic concluded in a way that implied that not only the readers, but the fictional characters themselves were freed from the scope and size of their own work. Anyone still reading watched Collide, in what I can only imagine to be 20 minutes of pure catharsis. The fandom got hit with Act 7, and that was it.

This whole time, that entire span of that seven years, nobody had ever ‘told me about Homestuck.’  Until, about a year after it ended, a friend of mine told me that the way I talk reminded them of a character called Karkat (after what Im assuming was a fairly aggressive bitch fest about something or other). Upon my asking what in the fuck kind of name Karkat is, they nostalgically smiled, and asked me if I had ever read a certain webcomic.

We went back to my dorm and they pulled it up on my computer. We read for a couple hours. I didnt think too much of it, but it was amusing enough. I put it away, and forgot about it until one lazy day like month later. And then I think it was Rose dropping a bathtub in Johns hallway that sealed the deal. I dont think I have to tell anyone following a fucking classpect blog about how addicting reading Homestuck is. I got really into the classpect system, as you can see. Im damn near constantly nerding out about videogame-esque class systems and personality studies, and I thought Homestuck’s god tier system was so fucking creative and interesting. And the music, holy shit. A flash webcomic? With LEITMOTIFS?!?

I eventually figured out that thinking Homestuck is cool in 2018 was… lonely. The people that still were fans of the comic enjoyed it in hushed tones, and in shame. It was sad, in ways. A part of me wished that I had gotten to experience it at its peak. I am not one such member of this fandom that has existed when the work was in its primordial stages, and I do not for one second claim to have been at the apex of the movement.

So what does this shitty history lesson good for anyway, right? What does it all mean? It has been nine years to the day, this 4/13, and Hiveswap is the only thing from keeping what was once considered a monumental aspect of pop culture from fading into complete obscurity. I am hopeful of the future of Homestuck, but I cannot help but also feel that one day, in the near future, it will be lost to time. And so, here we are today. I walk amongst the bones of the sun-bleached empire that used to be Homestuck. Not many people live here anymore. One day, it might be empty. One day, it might be that nobody remembers it at all.

But not as long as you are here, reading horseshit like this rant. Not as long as someone is drawing shitty fan art of the Mayor, not as long as someone is shamelessly jamming out on the bus to Sburban Jungle, and not as long as someone out there who cant think of the word ‘Pisces’ without instinctively associating it with the color fuschia. Humanitys drive to build things, to create, is rooted in an effort to outlast their own lifespan. And the same is true for this thing that we have all come to love (hate?), and for all of the thousands of people that have found some connection with each other over a common bond. I know that this whole rant has had some serious cringe potential, but know this, you bunch of nerds: As long as you are out there, reading, enjoying, then the fandom is still alive and well. And better yet? You arent alone.

Happy 4/13, kids.

“I keep having these dreams. Great empty cities, silent roads stretching for miles. The Earth from space, all dark. Not a single light to guide me home. But if someone really came from another world, what would the Earth look like to them? A wilderness? A wasteland? I don't think so. Even after thousands of years they’d see a world shaped by our hand in every aspect of its being. They'd see the cities and the roads; the bridges, the harbors. And they would say: Here lived a race of giants.”

-Acclaimed Actor and Sleeping Prophet, Charles Dutton

-Alexandra Drennan, The Talos Principle

[ministryofgamers]

The FIX - Bren

I’ve been doing YouTube for a LONG time now, well 8 years certainly sounds like a long time to me.. but eerily doesn’t feel like a long time. We’ve been through so many changes and trails, trying different things, making movies, TV shows, Interviews, Press events... you name it, as a content creator for the video game community I’ve made it. I’ve always wanted to be a successful youtuber when it came to video-games, these days that usually means you have to figure out a silly name and play lots of games and make a fool of yourself (and yeah i’ve done that too). A youtube star is someone that has millions of followers, uploads daily, sometimes twice daily, but I have none of those things... does that mean i’m not successful? I dont’ think so. I’ve conducted interviews with lead game designers, been to top tier invite only press functions, had 2 shows on UK TV for video games, a movie, and run an active community driven youtube channel that has a great gathering of awesome people. So why is it that I feel like I’ve failed somehow? is it because I didn’t find the right audience? is it because I didn’t get launched to super stardom for my time as a games journalist... would I even want that if it came knocking... i’m not even sure I would like it to be honest. It's strange, I've always felt like I’ve wanted to be successful in making video content, films, art, always wanted to entertain and make something that would make someone say “wow” and I have done that, but on a small scale.

Now on Youtube I see things are very different, attention spans are miniscule, kids are starting channels left right and centre, no knowledge of how to frame a good shot, how to use a decent microphone, no knowledge on how to make a proper video... vertical videos of cats being dicks, fail videos, pranks, challenges, all of that stuff to me is benine crap,  redundant. I feel the same about reality TV and how most formats prey on schadenfreude( german phrase meaning "to take pleasure in anothers missfortune") I find it nausiating that television, for the most part, has become so mundane, fuelled by adverts and les than average production values. I recently watched a shocking piece of output form the BBC where they seem to have forgotten that sound levels are important... as well as whitebalance and did the OP forget his tripod? Hand held is ok, but this chap looked like he'd had a bit too much rum in his coffee that morning.  

Anyway, back to Youtube. I'm a part of a few "small youtuber" groups on facebook, basically if you don't have 500,000 subs these days you are considered to be pretty small time. And in these groups I see thousands of the same posts everyday "yay i got 20 subs" or "how many views do i need before i can monetize." and the best one "sub for sub anyone?" honestly pretty much everyone on those groups that i've looked at (except one or two) literally have no fucking idea what they are doing and couldn't make a video if it meant saving their own life. Time and time again I see the same shit, constantly. It honestly makes me Wince at the thought that these kids are about to embark on the most dissapointing crusade of thier lives.  I started youtube in 2009 and it was a bloody good time to do so as there were pretty much no such thing as lets plays or video game shows etc... we had an amazing show, 4 presenters, heavily edited reviews, sketches, comedy! And best of all we were in with the big boys, interviewing people I never thought i'd ever get to meet!  "But Bren, why didn't you just keep going with that?" Well, thats a whole different story and i'll just sum it up by saying there were differences of opinion and it fell apart.

Starting GameGazmTV was very freeing... I had decided that I needed a platform where I didn't care too much about what content I put on it... I had boxed up my camera equipment and used a phone to film most of the stuff for it... we slapped half naked manga girls all over it with flames and rock music in the hope that we would offend someone enough to just come and look at the channel... even the name "GameGazm" was fucking ridiculous. It wasn't long before we started to slowly change everything. Removing the semi naked girls, and some "dead weight" and started to clean up the brand... but it didn't do anything really.. I started to slip back into the "everything must be good" routine, so started heavily editing videos again, making bigger productions, adding more visual effects to everything... graphical updates, weekly updates, started doing let's plays for more content, live streams... then by year 4 we changed the name fully to Ministry of Gamers in the hope of finally shedding the GameGazm crappy beginnings. And now I've suddenly realised... that I hate most of it... I look back at a lot of our content and pretty much 90% of it I could throw in the bin and no one would bat an eyelid. The content I love the most on our channel is 2 videos... Solstice and Top Gun. 2 videos that I think are actually really worth watching... the rest of them i'm not that bothered about... but solstice and top gun both took 6 weeks each to make... thats a lot of time... and then the most successful video on our channel is a video about a fucking controller that we shot in an hour because we thought "why not" I couldn't give a crap about that controller... but its the only video that i've spent the least amount of time on and its the most successfull thing ive ever made.... talk about a kick in the teeth... thats some way to really get yourself down.

Up until this point if you asked me is YouTube worth doing, should I start a channel? I would have said " yeah its really fun to do, and totally worth it." but ask me right now? i'd say "no... don't do it.. its really not worth the stress you'll put yourself through, its not worth seeing comments like "shut up and stop reviewing games you fat cunt." on a video that you spent DAYS writing, recording, editing.  Its not worth making any video that takes you longer than an hour to do, because honestly... your effort is the last thing youtube gives a crap about." Youtube does not care if you stayed up for a week straight slaving over an edit, making sure your colours are good, sound is balanced, Youtube doesn't care if you spent days crafting a CGI intro for your channel, making custom graphics, building a brand! It DOESN'T CARE... but make a controller video, slap it up, and youtube will give you £300 and a pat on the head..... great... just film your cat doing something retarded and you'll be a millionaire in no time. don't worry about talent... its not required here.

Basically youtube isn't the kind of platform I would like to be on. But not being on Youtube is like saying "I don't want to be on the biggest viewing platform available." throughout my video carrer I've only ever really been interested in making content about videogames. It's my passion so what else would I do? I have a couple of thoughts about other avenues I could explore. But if I really cared about them then I would have been doing it already. No I still care about making content for videogames but now its time to change the focus... change the direction because something has to change... i'm no longer going to use youtube as a platform to give content thats about something else.. i'm going to make it about ME and my team as people, its not a show anymore. I want it to document OUR struggle, OUR journey through a project, how we as people are focused on making entertainment. Youtube doesn't need another gaming channel, it needs to hear about how crushingly difficult it is to get anywhere with content creation, and thats where I want to be now. I'll be working on something I really care about, and i'll provide updates to that on youtube.

I can't keep going the way I have been, a constant viscious circle of dissapointment and failiure, over and over. I'm done trying to fill a gap that just doesn't need to be filled. There are other ways I can use my time and thats the most precious thing to all of us.. becasue there really isnt' that much of it.

Why have I written this? I guess to just put it all down somehwere other than my head.. the more I write at the moment the more I feel it leaving me.. literally like ive turned a tap on and the water was filthy and its slowly starting to clear up. My main point to all of this though was to fully understand why i'm so successful at failing, I make incredible work that never gets anywhere and no one really cares that much about, but its still MY work, and even if only one person sees it and is entertained by it, then to me, i've won. So in closing, I am a youtuber, and a fucking successful one.  And no one really knows it...... yet, and of course i'll never give up, I firmly believe I have something to offer a wide audience, i'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I feel like its my mission to figure it out, I owe it to myself to keep trying! and always give my best. Take pride in what you do, and if you believe in something enough, you will get it... after a long bitter road of absolute mental turmoil.... you'll get it.

Bren.