#& not being able to even comfort her
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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#a man who DESERVES A SLICE OF PIE
#mobius#owen wilson#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki#loki spoilers#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#for y'alls sake some ep4 moments instead of a hundred gifs of him being silly and kind over the course of the series but#please stop writing characters to exist solely for conflict when they don't have a leg to stand on ;;;;;#so it's fine to get a jump on refilling the straw machine while the timelines are in constant danger but pie during a break crosses a line#okay sure tell me more 💀💀#of COURSE he has coping mechanisms when the comfort and kindness he naturally extends is rarely returned#free will for all utilized as someone else says?? idc i wouldn't look myself up either and he shouldn't be pressured to#she's only even able to yell at him bc some of the first things he's done since pushing past brainwashing have been saving her life 🙃#ANYWAY peace and love on earth when the dilf of all time is a sweetheart who takes responsibility for his actions 🥰💖#marvel#loki s2 spoilers
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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Me explaining in terms of strictly how I read canon I think Nahida not severely punishing the Sages is just meant to convey that Nahida, even when wronged, is not a very vengeful or harsh person and makes the choice to be kind instead, but in my mind I have this idea of a Nahida interpretation which elaborates on that where her self punishing tendencies extend to her being someone who internally downplays her own experiences constantly, and as a result has a hard time feeling she’s allowed or justified in placing a lot of blame on the Sages for what they did to her So while she is following her own philosophies regarding teaching lessons/wisdom/etc in how to handle the Sages and genuinely doesn’t want to be really angry or punishing because of who she is as a person, her decision is also influenced by the fact she’s basically blocked herself out of grappling with how to handle people who hurt her by blaming herself for said hurt instead as a coping mechanism. And like this is all just me being insane about Nahida Trauma and not something explicitly implied in canon but also I really do think this isn’t a far stretch from her canon characterization especially when my vision isn’t to conclude that Nahida needs to be angry and vengeful but she should extend the kindness she shows others to herself and also every day I get tormented thinking about she was the mental equivalent of an average human child when the Sages found her and how they basically specifically discarded her for being a child and the idea of how Nahida would pick up on + internalize that and eventually need time to unlearn it
#nahida#genshin#fern.txt#genshin tangents#fictional child abuse cw#anyways is anyone else here normal#see I think a sentiment most ppl get from nahdia’s character is correctly that she is kind despite being treated so poorly#but I want to explore her grappling with Why she does that bc she is genuinely kind#and I don’t think she’s struggling with moving on from things#but based off things she says word for word I feel it’s established nahida is very distressed by not being able to rationalize or#understand things that upset her#this is clear in both her SQs & her voicelines even down to her not liking seafood bc the unknown of the ocean#intimidates her. so I’d imagine she’s someone who responds to being mistreated by concluding#there must be a reason for it. and I actually have dialogue that backs me up here#bc when we first learn the sages have imprisoned nahida nahida herself basically says it’s fine bc her existence has#little meaning and she’s not good enough to be an archon. even as paimon is remarking how awful#the sages are for it and prompting nahida on if she’s upset w them#it’s not that Nahida isn’t insightful enough to acknowledge something as mistreatment#but rather she finds more comfort and a sense of control in having explanations for things#heck the reason she gives up her gnosis to Dottore is states in her char stories to be bc#she doesn’t want the lack of control that comes from a lack of information#nahida leaning on knowledge for a sense of control makes me esp sad when I think abt how#she does not have autonomy or agency for a majority of her life bc of her imprisonment n had fo rely on her#mind n ability to learn n gain knowledge#anyways to reiterate ks anyone else normal
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B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.
#B'Elanna's difficulty with Klingon myths and religion (especially due to her internalized racism)#Chakotay's current strong belief in his own spirituality despite his initial complete rejection of it (and how B'Elanna seems to admire#and have talked with Chakotay about it extensively in the past given how many specifics she's aware of)#Neelix's belief in an afterlife being the only thing that comforted him after his entire family was killed - the knowledge that he would be#able to reunite with them again and that knowledge being ripped away from him#Does he still believe? Are there other aspects of his previous spiritual beliefs that are thrown into question?#Just because it isn't 'real' does it make it unimportant? How do we even know whether or not it's 'real'?#He died and doesn't remember reaching that tree and seeing his family - does that mean it didn't happen?#Tuvok's line in 'Innocence' about how he's begun to have doubts about whether or not a katra exists and what happens after someone dies#and his firm ties to Vulcan spirituality and ritual#ALL SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!#star trek voyager#I don't think it'd be a calm or healthy conversation either - they're not therapists and I don't think anyone but Chakotay#would be particularly careful with his words#and before you say Tuvok's a Vulcan so he would be let me remind you that Tuvok told B'Elanna to her face that he thought Klingons#were basically savages - he is INDELICATE to say the least#Neelix is careful with his words bc he's a people pleaser for survival but also he has a tendency to bother people and be overly pushy#and I think he'd do a lot of research and be the one leading the conversation/the reason they get on the topic and continue on it#B'Elanna wouldn't want to talk about it. She wants to talk about it the least. But she must!!!! Bc the episode demands it!!#st voy
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while my mind is still on the subject of transfem genderfluid taichi. i very recently got around to reading SSR family and my main takeaway after getting through all the backstage stories for it, and then especially after also reading citron's backstage story for devil maid's holiday, was this:
#a3#a3! act addict actors#citron#no SERIOUSLY i read through all of SSR family and still thought citron was a cis man the whole time#but then it was like. okay. so ritsu--the character citron is PLAYING--is obviously a trans woman herself#who can't comfortably express her identity in her normal life and uses the VR world to be able to present as a woman#and then in the backstage stories. citron himself INSISTS they all create female avatars so they can go to a VR host club#and everyone else is like 'ugh this is so weird idk what i'm doing' except citron who LOOOOVES being a cute girl#and then when they all need to use voice changers to be on taruchi's stream?? NOBODY suggested that citron should talk like a woman#but she just brought that up out of nowhere and then decided on her own to do it because ?????#like the parallel between ritsu and citron is way too strong here#and then the devil's maid card. you're telling me a cis man reacts like THAT to having to wear a maid costume for a play 🤔#also someone needs to tell her that her falsetto voice in family activation is SO GOOD i don't think she even NEEDS a voice changer#she already has the range 💖💖#anyway citron and taichi are the genderfluid icons of all time. to me.#star.txt
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Do think you can do something with ash and clay like father and daughter
PLEASE 😁
Clay-Ash, Father Daughter Edit
Of course, I would love to make a video showcasing how much Ash and Clay are father-daughter, sha!! I've always loved this relationship between them, and I hold it close to my heart.
Thank you so much for sending in this ask! The video was a pleasure to make. The video isn't crazy exciting, since it's not supposed to be a hype song. I instead decided to focus on the small details, like color correcting!
Song: Beautiful Boy - John Lenon [ x ]
#theyre literally father daughter#they told me themselves#clay calloway#sing ash#sing movie#sing 2016#sing 2#sing 2021#mysing#ok but i cannot understate how good this father-daughter relationship is#first of all clays never had kids#i choose to believe that was just because they never chose to#meanwhile ash#we never see her parents despite her being relatively pretty young#i like to think that Ash used Clays music as an escape from her toxic parents and homelife and found comfort and solace in his song#ad thats why she calls herself his biggest fan before even meeting him#meanwhile Clay#Ash was able to help him realize the situation hes in and get out of him#(i can elaborate more on that Ash hc earlier btw)#they both helped each other out emotionally a lot#theres also the huge point in Out of This World when Clay decides to sing because he sees herself in Ash... LITERALLY#when the lights shine on Ash's quills they turn white like Clay's mane#and its just ohhhhh its so father daughter#also shoutout the several several clips of Clay looking at Ash to check on her#oh yeah also this song was a huge comfort song for me because of some past issues so i was glad to be able to use it here
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god tywin lannister deserved worse
just remembering elias death and i wanna puke and the way tywin talks about elia and what happened is so damn gross
but rip tommen and myrcella we all know what’s about to happen in the next book :/
the cycle of violence just keeps spinning and damn you tywin for beginning it
(i got a bit crazy in the tags 💀)
#rest in peace elia and rhaenys#i’m one of those crazy ppl who thinks jaqen h’ghar is aegon 💀#literally lost the teeny tiny amount of credibility i had#anyways i think doran’s in on it and i think rhaegar switched out asharas child for aegon paralleling the baby swap jon does#the pact made in braavos about viserys and dany marriages is a half truth half lie#and arianne being sent to faegon is simply doran testing his heir. if she messes up then whoever’s spying for doran will correct her#gerold dayne knows too much that’s why doran thinks he’s too dangerous#but this would make the dornish plot sooooo much more interesting and would show that no doran hasn’t been doing nothing#it would also automatically make the daynes more important#jaqen (aegon) was in kings landing to kill robert but got caught by varys. syrio was sent to find him. ned cleared out the black cells tho#saving aegon in the process. fun how we’re actually introduced to this character through lyanna starks mini me arya#aegon was able to kill robert with a boar tho so mission accomplished.#now he’s in old town trying to hatch his dragon egg. the stone beast taking flight in danys vision is aegon being symbolically depicted…#..as a spinx#i’m crazy delusional. but ppl who think faegon is actually aegon are even more delusional than me#plus the real aegon being alive fulfills the suns son part of quaithes warnings#i like this theory bc it makes the dorne plot more interesting and it explains whatever is going on with jaqen h’ghar cause he is sus#yes yes i know i’m delusional 💀 i just think it’d be a very interesting twist#kinda hoping no one sees this post at this point bc i know no one will take this theory well lol#i do think this theory can be supported by the text tho#and cerseis throw away line about ned stealing asharas baby would suddenly become peak foreshadowing#barristan comparign dany to ashara would also be peak foreshadowing bc ashara would take the place of gilly in this parallel and she was dis#dishonored by someone at harrenhall. likely aerys and then she turned to a stark probably brandon for comfort#tbh i think it was ashara who lied to brandon about what happened to lyanna. perhaps she was trying to mess with brandon’s wedding and#was trying to get back at rhaegar for humiliating elia at the tourney. i highly doubt it was baelish who lied to brandon cause brandon#has little reason to believe him and no reason to trust him. ashara tho? arthur daynes sister and elias lady in waiting? also his lover?#anyways varys the spider potentially stealing aegon away (if he did take a child it was the false aegon) is there to parallel the others#who ride ice spiders taking crasters sons. tbh i think it was aegon who decided he wanted to train as a faceless man so he could get revenge#on his own terms. and the sea lord of braavos at the time was in on it and helped aegon with his plans#the unveiling coming up is going to be a lot more important than arya just reclaiming her identity. yes im delusional lmao. rant over
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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you know thinking about it i feel like in terms of cangel-and-ace-cordy-posting i have really been neglecting arguably the funniest possiblity, which is that cordy goes into that relationship still completely oblivious to the ace thing. like they decide to get together and cordy's being very magnanimous and all "well we will never be able to have sex because of the curse how tragic well it is a sacrifice i am willing to make because i love you so much" and then cut to like. two weeks into the relationship and her going "hm. for some reason this feels like it's working way better for me than any of my previous relationships. that's weird"
#buffyverse#angel the series#ifer rambles#this is a silly jokey post but also icl i have been making myself get all teary eyed all day thinking#about ace cordy and her spending most of her high school years moving in and out of various relationships that she never felt truly safe in#(even with xander where we know they never had sex she presumably would have felt like. an expectation it would happen eventually if the#relationship lasted long enough)#and her finally being in a relationship where she DOES feel safe and is able to express physical affection in a way that's comfortable#for her UAUGH#clutching her like a squeaky toy and shaking like a dog that's been left out in the rain
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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just my thoughts but if you are in a monogamous relationship and often wish you could be in a more open relationship, you should communicate that to your partner. and if your partner makes you feel afraid to communicate that (not you being afraid out of anxiety, but them specifically saying things that make you afraid to say how you truly feel about stuff) then they are not being a good a partner. it might be a hard conversation but communication is the number one thing necessary for a good relationship.
if your justification is “well it’s useless because they would say no anyway” -> you won’t know until you communicate
and
if you feel at all restricted by monogamy, maybe it is not for you, and it may be hard to have to leave your partner if they’re not comfortable with an open relationship, but i don’t think you should sacrifice your happiness for someone else, no matter how much you love them. your feelings and desires matter. your life should not revolve around keeping your partner happy even if it means sacrificing your own happiness and freedoms.
#i wish my ex had just broken up with me#because instead she just cheated on me when i told her i wasn’t comfortable with opening our relationship 👍#but now i am in an open relationship and it is so much for freeing#even though we’re not currently seeing anyone else#just having that freedom and knowing it’s okay to get crushes on other people#or desire other people#not feeling guilty over that is everything#being able to talk to each other about crushes we get#or people we find hot etc#that’s something i personally need in a relationship#and if u feel like that’s something that would make you happier in ur relationship too#then you need to communicate that to your partner
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mistynat was the best fucking dynamic in the WORLD!!!!!!! AND THEY FOUCKING TORCHED IT!!!!!
#im mad about Yellowjackets now because its cathartic to get mad about poor writing and I cant do that with succ#UMMMMM hyperobsessive weirdo killer who holds an endearing fixation on the nihilistic yet tender junkie?#and they detested each other in the woods but also one pledged devotion to the other? and misty has been obsessed ever since?#and has forgiven nat for absolutely everything even when nat won't forgive herself? because she exists on an entirely different moral plane?#but will protect her now because nat protected her then?#like misty's obsession with nat isn't even because she was the antler queen#she was obsessed from the get-go via her idolization of the Yellowjackets#but then it clearly turned into something else#because misty is an apostle above all else#yet she was shown in s1 to be so devoted to nat as a PERSON beyond anything else#and nat's begrudging alliance with her...now on equal grounds in the Real World...being able to perhaps stomach misty's insanity because its#so much more visible than that of the others#because it validates what nat believes about the survivors#they are FUCKED UP#but there is a certain comfort in the fact that misty was always fucked up#GODDDD they could have been so good#yellowjackets#mistynat
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when you say you’re happy being by yourself
but maybe that’s just what you’re trying to convince yourself of…?
#more incoherence coming up bc i still!!!! jk trio!!!!!!!!!!!#from what i can see… chizuchan’s really… something#she seems to really really *really* crave love. but hardly anyone gives her the time of day when she’s chizuru and not chuutan#it’s no wonder that she accepted the shady modelling deal so quickly the moment she received her parents’ support tbh…#like. someone *finally* acknowledged her for herself. even her classmates dgaf about her#with that kinda situation i think it’s really no surprise that she would latch on to the attention she was given from someone else…#it’s also no wonder that she clings so hard to aizo and lxl tbh. she got suckered in by their pretty smiles and fanservice#the ‘you’re my only one my julieta~~~~’ thing they have going on must bring a sense of joy to lonely girls who want to be loved…#she’s clearly *not* ok being alone (despite what she claims while dolled up in her chuutan ‘fit)#i think she’s only able to tell herself that she’s fine by herself when she’s fully locked in as chuutan#bc she genuinely loves herself when she’s dolled up all cute like that; hiding her true self under layers of makeup and whatnot#(see: the way she lights up when she puts on her makeup vs how she sees her plain self in the mirror)#(and also bc she has many people who love her as chuutan. her tt fans. her maid cafe regulars.)#(and i assume she gets at least some positive engagement on her stan twt account. we prolly only see the negative ones bc it’s chizu pov…)#(…and she kinda hates herself and such… but she’s able to put on a brave face bc she’s *the* perfect chuutan and nothing can phase her)#(so. like. she prolly only registers the negative comments bc *that*’s what she’s agreeing with deep down…)#(…even though she acts unbothered bc she’s *the* chuutan: aizo stan extraordinaire)#also. like. look at how many solo songs she has. she sang all of them as chuutan. the only songs she’s singing as herself are group songs#i hope she’ll able to have a song as *herself* one day..#i’m waiting for the day when she finally feels comfortable enough as herself by herself (and not just with her besties)#…idk where im going with any of this tbh. um!!!!! i think renren would like her for who she really is?????#maybe the acceptance from someone else would be the final push for her to love herself?? idk???#anyway gws chizuchan~~~~ aizo’s not good enough for you~~~ raise your standards queen. renren’s right there—
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The tadfools were just SO connected for such a long amount of time that I can't imagine them seeing each other as anything but family after a good run, especially a good Resist Durge run. I think they'd swoop right in for one another like they were siblings if they absolutely needed something.
#bat rambles#processing some planning thoughts cus like#single mom lae'zel who is crushing it but could still use a hand#and finds it more enjoyable when motherhood involves the village all stepping in to help in different ways#little miss “power for the individual at the cost of the strength of the collective” would like#i think motherhood would be fulfilling if it was as nontraditional as githyanki birth gets#enjoying the rearing and comfort but struggling with handling xan when he's being difficult#bc if you were difficult in creche k'liir you put a target on your back#so she doesnt know how to handle how difficult and nonsensical toddlers can be#like she's SO logical and would fight every argument with clear logic but#toddlers do not give a shit#that would be a nightmare for her#wyll and shadowheart would be the top two for dealing with that stage#wyll would be able to play along in a way that he can redirect them#redirection KING#shadowheart is just so playful and patient#she would get frustrated but i think she'd be at a point where she'd just#appreciate even being able to have this moment and commit it to memory#karlach is perfect with all the kids she's the cool aunt#so she encourages the chaos instead of reigning it in#she also would be the one to get them hyped up on sugar and drop them off but not maliciously#astarion would do it maliciously
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I just watched a quiet place day one for the first time thinking it would just be like a thriller/suspense and no one told me how steeped this movie is in guttural emotion. I’m over here crying over this monster movie and the display of true human emotion and tragedy and love it shows as if I haven’t seen a million apocalypse movies
#a quiet place day one#the way Sam goes from being a self described ‘mean person’ in the beginning and pretty obviously not wanting to form any bonds to include#how she was trying to get Eric to go to the boat for a while after they met#and she ends up accepting that he cares about her even if it’s just to make her lie#smile he looked so pleased with himself so proud when he was able to get her that pizza#and her giving him her dads cardigan that she clearly holds dearly#the way Eric is terrified of the water and Sam continually calms him down and reassures him it’s okay it’s going to be okay#even though they are both scared out of their minds and she is hurting so much#the way he goes out in an APOCALYPSE to get her meds and help her fend off the pain he goes out despite how utterly terrified he is to make#her that much more comfortable to slow the symptoms of the cancer even just a little bit#I truly gasped at that part it is so insane to me and kind#the way we don’t know if they discussed the plan before she sacrifices herself for him but if they didn’t he knows he can see it when she’s#giving Frodo to him and he looks like he’s about to have a break down like he is so heart broken not only that she would die regardless but#that she is sacrificing herself for him she is putting herself at danger of being ripped limb from limb for the chance that he will make it#are you joking? are you serious with this I’m so obsessed this story alone would have me utterly enamored but the emotion in their faces#the way they are able to convey the depth of their feelings and you can see in equal parts the despair they feel#and the love on a human level say what you will about how the love was meant to be conveyed if it’s romantic or friendly or whatever but you#can tell there is love they care for each other they consistently risk everything for each other#as human beings they decided they care about each other and they choose each other they choose to protect the other#I’m just so in love with it and I didn’t expect to care this much about a monster movie
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