#& it looks decently sick so ! i am positive about this thing overall its just that i shouldnt have made 7 holes on both sides at the back

[heartyearning]

handsewing button holes through 6 layers of fabric is an unfortunately huge pain in the ass and tragically i have to do 18 of them

[miraeluc]

you have an anxiety attack

prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”

pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader

warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, angst

rough day? 

no

roughest of the rough 

it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go

all you needed to do was brush your teeth

of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 

that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is

you went to work

that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill

first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up

that’s what it felt like at least

then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH

an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!

curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders

so you started over

was it worth it? 

no

your boss hated it

you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker

your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!

poor bennett 

bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break

you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕

he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 

he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation

“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”

you ended up working overtime 

you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 

so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work

you finished at 9pm

your work hours are 8am-5:30pm

nope, not having a great time 

well, at least you can go home now!

you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate

aka kaeya

aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable

aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE

his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up

maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 

he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao

which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him

there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 

you’re content with your current relationship with him

right?

kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city

neither of you mind, he’s having his fun

and you know that there’s much more to it 

you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least

well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day

right as you got to the station it drove away

fuck

what now?

you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.

oh well. 

usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier

its only a 15 minute walk you can do it

it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!

not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently

by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be

kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door

“where were you??”

“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”

“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”

he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression

“oh, y/n, what happened?” 

he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 

“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed

he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked

you scoffed but nodded anyway

 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”

you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold

at least the shower went well

:///

you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry

you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left

he just looked so hungry

ANYWAYS

you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook

if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no

you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes

kaeya shows up too

“what’re you baking?”

he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need

“cupcakes. how was your day?”

you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner

“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”

you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 

“how come? you never get off”

“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”

you stopped listening halfway

you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter

you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????

you look over at the open bag of salt

wait a second 

you take out a little dough and taste it

FUCK

“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”

he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 

uhhhhh

he’s never been in this situation

“y/n?? why are you crying-”

he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some

oh, that’s why

“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted

he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 

he immediately regreted what he said

“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 

you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug

you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 

you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now

you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you

“w-why am i so worthless?!”

you punched his chest

“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”

punch

“i’m so us-useless”

punch

“i should just kill m-”

he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say

“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”

you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again

your hands gripped at his tshirt

his hand rested over your shaky ones

it broke him

seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 

“come on, let’s breathe together”

his voice was soft when he spoke to you

he took a deep breath in, you following

you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 

hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe

he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 

why did he feel like this?

sure, flirting with girls is fun 

and ghosting them is also fun

he usually doesn’t care about hurting them

but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?

and why does your pain hurt him too?

he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 

(it doesn’t)

oh well. 

taking care of your needs is more important right now

he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 

“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”

you sniffled and nodded 

you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him

he’s never done that 

you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 

he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering

you both fell into a comfortable silence

at some point he thought you fell asleep lol

“kaeya?”

he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming

“thank you.”

additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)

[hazbbyhaz]

sleepless || harry styles

twenty five

pairing: harry styles x OC

synopsis: the new girls first day

disclaimer: making fun of someone’s appearance

They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Avery entered the small café shivering from head to toe. It was raining cats and dogs outside, the light jacket she had thrown on in a rush was completely soaked. As agreed upon the previous day, she arrived half an hour early to work. She could hear Tom's distant chatter as she made her way behind the counter.

"Avery, there you are!" With a smile on his face, Tom rushed from the back office to where Avery is standing. Avery took note of how nervous and jumpy he was, almost on edge, and only a mere second later she understood why. Standing only a few feet away from her was the new girl. She looks very pretty, with her hair tied up in a french braid, her minimalist clothes, and her pearly white teeth adorned in her smile, she was the poster for the cafe's target audience. Young, hopeful, and high off of the feeling of being alive.

"This is Sarah," Tom walks towards the girl and gently nudges her towards Avery. "today is her trial run for the job. If she does well, she will get the position." He continues and Avery can feel her body go into flight mode. The uncontrollable thoughts and racing heart only a second away from taking over. What if she doesn’t take me seriously? What if she is so good that Tom fires me? What if- all of those thoughts cease as she hears Harry’s voice ring through her head. You’re okay, Ave. With his words repeating in her head like a mantra, she smiles at Sarah, takes a deep breath, and lets those other thoughts go with her exhale.

"Hey, I'm Avery. It’s really nice to meet you!" She extends out her hand to the girl in front of her, focusing all her concentration on stopping its incessant shaking,but instead of Sarah returning the gesture, she simply looks at her outstretched hand before turning her attention back to Tom.

"So. how often would I be working?"

With a sigh, Tom runs a nervous hand through his already ruffled hair. "We'd have to figure that out. During the week, Monday and Tuesday are the busiest, so it would probably be best for you both to work together. On the weekend we will definitely need two sets of hands on deck. As for the rest of the week, we will have to work that out once we get everything set in stone.”

She nods, letting her eyes roam through the room before retreating back to his figure. She looked at him as if she were waiting for something, like she was executing him to say something more. "Right... so Avery will be the one showing you around this morning! I have to make a few phone calls before we open up for the day... Avery?"

"Let's begin the tour!" She murmurs quickly. Avery links her hands behind her back to hide their shaking that has yet to stop. Tom sends her a thankful smile and disappears into the back room, leaving Sarah and Avery to the day's task.

"So... uhm... the first thing done every morning is to set up the floor, we need to put the chairs down around the tables.” Avery explains, her voice breaking after every few words. “Our outdoor seating is stacked in the back since… as you probably know, it is winter…”

Sarah does not move to do anything, opting to watch Avery clumsily remove the chairs from the tables. The sounds of the chairs being put onto the ground was, unknowingly, making Avery jump "And then I put the menus on the table and a little candle cause uhm… it adds a nice, comforting touch."

"You're very jumpy" Sarah’s comment comes off cross. With her arms crossed tightly over her chest and the look of near disgust on her face, she continues to stare Avery down, demanding some type of explanation.

"Pardon?"

"You're like..." The brunette proceeds to pull her shoulders up, recreating Avery's uptight posture and her quivering hands. "and you speak too quietly. I really can't understand you when you don't speak up."

"Sorry..." Even with Sarah complaining about her quiet voice, her apology came out in a whisper. She hoped, more than anything, that the girl would stop mimicking her. She couldn't stand looking at it. She couldn't stand it because she knew that it was accurate. She knew that she really looked like that, she knew it, and even she hated looking at it. How could anyone stand to look at her when she can’t even look at herself?

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry." She repeats, this time a bit louder. With a sudden wave of tears, her vision is becoming blurred, and her words are beginning to shake. She has not been picked apart like this in a long time.

"Are you gonna cry?" Sarah asks, brows raised and a devilish smirk on her face. What is she trying to do? Why is she talking to me like this?

“I'm not. " Avery quickly wipes her eyes before retreating behind the main counter, starting to turn on the various coffee machines and checking over their delivery reports.

"Aren’t you supposed to be explaining what you are doing? That’s what Tom said, anyway. " Sarah questions, sitting down on a bar stool in front of Avery, resting her elbows on the counter.

"I’m sorry, but I am not in the mood anymore," She continues to face away from the girl, focusing her attention on putting their baked goods into their display windows.

"Oh, is someone upset?"

"Please stop talking to me like that!" Avery exclaims, but her voice is still so frail that the message holds no confidence. It was more of a plea than a real request.

"I just think someone your age should be able to handle things better. No need to get upset over a simple comment." Sarah shrugs, but before she can say anything else Tom comes back with a confident smile on his face. Avery assumes that his call went well. She’s glad that something did.

"Alright girls, how is everything coming along?" His gaze switches between the two, Sarah has a beaming smile on her face while Avery’s eyes are so focused on a report that she is sure she could burn a hole straight through it.

"Great!” Sarah grins, gracefully standing up. "Avery and I get along great. I hope you consider for me this job, I really adore this little café."

"Oh well that's great!" Tom smiles. "I will get back to you soon about the position. Have a good day!"

"Thank you so much! You both have a great day yourselves!" Sarah grins, shaking his hand. "It was really nice to meet you, Avery." She adds before grabbing her umbrella and walking out into the rain.

"So, what do you think? Did she get the hang of everything?" Tom asks, taking over Sarah's place and sitting down on one of the bar stools.

"She's really great, Tom." Avery could hear the hesitancy in her lie, but she was glad that Tom did not pick up on it.

"Great."

"One bite" Harry argues, taking the pizza piece out of the cardboard box and holding it out to Avery just to see her shake her head.

"I'm not hungry, Harry" She murmurs , sipping instead a bit of her peppermint tea and leaning back into the cushions of the sofa. The small lie fell from her lips without a second thought, but Harry noticed it right as the words hit his ears.

Seconds after her shift ended at the cafe, Avery was rushing out the door. More than eager to retreat back to the safety of her flat. She hadn't been settled for more than a minute before Harry was knocking on her door. The unannounced visitor had her on edge, but opening the door to his calming figure holding a pizza box was a nice surprise.

"You need to eat something, Ave" He sighs, placing the piece back in the carton before sitting down next to her. The first thing Harry noticed after arriving at her flat was her demeanor. Her spirits seemed dimmed, her hands shakier than he liked, all the light had vanished from her eyes. Their dullness and pale tone of her skin made her look like that of a ghost.

At the party she had seemed fine, tired yes, but overall okay, and now she looked far from it. Harry immediately regrets the cup of coffee he brewed her the previous night, he had helped her with avoiding sleep. feeding into the problem that is so desperate for a solution.

"When was the last time you got a few decent hours of sleep?" He asks quietly.

"I'm not going to sleep," Harry reaches his arm towards her, trying to ground her, but she rose up from her spot on the couch too soon. His arm falling back to his side. He watched as she collected empty teacups, their saucers, and put them into the sink. As the faucet was turned on, sponge lathered in soap, Harry made his way to Avery's side.

"You need to sleep," He sighs, carefully placing a hand on her arm in an attempt to lead her away from the dishes.

"You look sick, love."

"I can't," She shakes his hand off, stepping back towards the sink. In a drowsy haze, she stumbled over her sock clad feet, almost hitting her head on the counter. Before she can comprehend what has happened, two arms lace themselves around her waist, gently pulling her into the safety of a warm chest. "please just leave. I’ll be okay."

Her pleas are softly shushed, Harry gently swaying them from side to side. With her back to his chest, Avery clings to his arms, her head falling to his shoulder.

"Look at me please...." His whispered request brings tears to Avery's tired eyes. She's too scared to look at him. To let him see her like this. She knows that once he looks at her he will insist on sleep. Part of her wants him to leave, solely because she won’t have to rest. So she can clean the few dishes in the sink, listen to the quiet murmurs of the TV set, and let her tears run freely. But she can’t, she knows that.

Harry can sense her quiet contemplation, so he gently turns her around, puts both his hands at the side of her face, making her look at him. His thumbs caressing the soft skin of her cheeks.

"I'll be right here next to you, okay? As soon as I notice there's something wrong I'll wake you up. I promise."

"You don't get it."

"No, I don't, but I'm trying. I just want to help you, Ave. This is not how you should deal with this... this is not how you should deal with your sadness." Harry whispers, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She looks shocked at his words, their honesty too loud to ignore.

"I'm not sad, not always."

"I know." He places a kiss on her forehead before pulling her small frame to his chest, still swaying.

"I don't want you to leave, Harry" Her arms tighten around him. "I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay, we're fine."

Avery is the first to step back, glancing over the kitchen before grabbing Harry’s hand. She leads him over to the untuned piano, silently signalling for him to sit on the bench before laying across it herself, resting her head in his lap.

"Before we go to bed can you play me something on the piano? please?"

He smiles down at her, her tone holding a sense of innocence he had never heard from her before. One he assumes was taken away far too early.

"What song do you fancy hearing this late at night?"

"Anything you like, but with lyrics, please. I like your singing voice."

"I think that can be arranged."

As his fingers card over the keys so effortlessly, Avery blocks out all thoughts. Her mind free from any fear, any worry. Her only focus being his voice.

Today I met a woman, I don’t think you know...

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[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[humanemotionssuck]

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

[korralifts]

Sorry for being mia this week guys.

So remember when I was really sick before, for like weeks? Well apparently I never quite got over that and it was like festering in my system for weeks.

So this week I was feeling tired and lethargic and I thought maybe it was the new promotion and just long days at work. But Tuesday I came home and I felt really off so I just went to bed early.

Ended up waking up in the middle of the night in so much pain on the right side of my face I was in tears. I couldn't get back to sleep, I tried taking painkillers and nothing was working. I applied a hot pack and eventually it settled so I could get some sleep, but I was still waking up every half hour to reheat the hot pack.

Finally by Wednesday night I couldn't take it anymore. I was literally lying in bed with blankets covering the windows to keep the light out in AGONIZING pain. So I bit the bullet and spent four hours in the emergency room and yep, turns out it was a super, super bad sinus infection. My mucous was actually brown. Like I had never in my life seen this before guys. Tmi but yeah, it was awful.

The pain was literally radiating into my jaw and my teeth. I hadn't even eaten anything in days. Just water and black tea.

So doctor got me on antibitioics by Thursday and by Friday evening I was able to take a little soup and some potato mash.

Tonight I had some soft pasta and soft bread, nothing to hard on my jaw because everything is still quite swollen, but the pain has gone down.

But here's the kicker. I have been sick pretty chronically since January. I got better, but I went to the doctor last weekend saying that I was still feeling short of breathe and had difficulty doing normal things like climbing stairs or doing cardio. Shit I have been doing constantly for about a year if not longer. And not one, but TWO doctors brushed it off as me being overweight and out of shape. No matter how much I assured them that I had lost weight, that I was working out regularly, that I knew my body and its capacity, I was told I was just fat and if I lost weight I would find cardio easier (?????) and also have a better immune system so I would get fewer colds, which is what he insisted I had for the last four months.

Like this is why the body positive movement is a thing guys. I know my body and I am more than my size and scale number. The first doctor was literally shocked to find that my heart health and blood pressure were perfectly healthy. Like, yes, I am fat. But I also go to the gym at least four times a week, eat a typically balanced diet (like yes, I love chips, sue me) and have pretty decent overall health. I do have a weak immune system but I had that when I was a scrawny kid too.

Like I literally spent days writhing in pain because the doctor didn't want to further look into my health issue because he couldn't see how it could possibly be anything other than me being fat.

And that pisses me off.

[tazzmanien]

Day6 concert in Amsterdam

I know i'm way too late, writing about the Day6 concert in Amsterdam. Better late than never. (And I had a stressful week and am sick.)

In short: I loved it! I have the after concert blues.

In very long:

They played all the songs that I like. Unfortunately they sang only a part of Congratulation themselves, as they let the audience sing the first half. I know it was very cool to hear the Dutch audience sing a Korean Song so good, but I love this song so much that I would have preferred to hear it sang by the band completely. Shoot me was my favorite song before and it hit high peak at the show, it landed in my all time top 10 kpop songs now! And the length of the show was great.

The guys were just perfect. Maybe too perfect at times, but perfect anyhow. First of all they all played their instruments perfectly. I couldn't hear almost any mistakes. So I can't say who played the best. I think they all did! They also sang so so good. Not to be biased, but I liked Jaes singing the best, as it was the realest. Still all sang great. I was there for the music, but let's be real, all of them are beautiful human beings. If you ask me who was the most beautiful objectively speaking, I couldn't answer. Oh and they all looked so mature. I don't know how to explain this, but like men and not boys or something. Sometimes they gave me the vibe that all they were doing or saying was just rehearsed, but then they would do some random things and they'll feel real. I still don't know what was the truth, but overall I enjoyed it, even if it only was fan service, I don't care. What I did believe 100% was when they were talking about how special the world tour was for them. I mean which artist wouldn't feel like that. It was their first after all and they sold out pretty big places and were able to travel a lot. I would be so happy for the travelling alone!

I couldn't see Wonpil most of the time unfortunately. But he seemed happy and was very very cute during his speach. Shy lil guy. Great voice too.

I was very sad to not have been able to see Young K better, as he was close to Wonpil. But the few times I got a clear view of him I almost tripped. He is really handsome and a flirt. Wow! Dude keep all that hotness to yourself, I already have JB for that! Really he must be bipolar, he seems to be such a cute and dorky person, but within seconds he looks like a sly flirtatious fox. Me when I looked at him: 😲🤤🤪

Oh and he looked like he enjoyed rapping a lot. His voice in general sounded the most different from the records. Still I liked it.

Dowoon was the cutest by far. His smile and laugh were pure happiness. I believe he even got the biggest applause from the audience. People went crazy before he spoke. Seeing him blush and laugh was a true treat. I couldn't hear a single error in his playing, but he still didn't look like it was a big deal to hit the drums, you know how some other drummers tend to look exhausted. He looked like a true performer. Very cool.

Sungjin was the one I could see all the time and clearly. And he reminded me of the cool guy from a school band. I'm not a huge fan of school bands, but he made me rethink. I'm curious how tens his neck must have been from standing bent over like he did ( if you've seen pics of him performing you'll know what I mean). He looked really cool like that, but I believe a normal neck would not play along for that long. The faces he made were gold. He seems like a guy I would love to have as a friend. I don't know, like a mix of fun and wise. He had a very clear singing voice. Great job.

And last but not least Jae. Jae is not my bias for nothing. Such a funny, hyper, talented bundle of chaos. He seemed so happy. Jumping around and making fun of poor Wonpil and laughing at the others and the translator (who apparently was not the best). And jumping from stage to get close to the audience. He even climbed the barrier to see us in the back and waved to us. I was surprised how great he was singing (I always thought the others were better for some reason). I would have almost said he sang the best, but in some songs the joy took over and he shouted or sang little out of tune, but it still sounded though he had all under control. To make this shorter he was born to be an entertainer! Unfortunately he had way too much makeup on him, but still he was very handsome.

The sound was very very clean and professional. It sounded almost like on record. Which is cool. But me being the oldschool kinda person, would have loved to hear a more raw version of the music. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it like this as well. They must be really great musicians, to be able to play their instruments with almost no errors and to sing almost perfectly the whole set through. And one could hear that it was indeed life and not playback, which I think is a must for such music! Also it was quiet a big hall so the technicians did a great job in making such a clean sound. So even though the music was not raw, I was glad to experience such a great quality of sound with a band playing and singing live.

The people in the audience were very friendly and everyone was kinda happy and chill, so the vibe was really good. At least that's what I've experienced. I went with a friend and she is very funny, so it might've been us that made the vibe. Btw the audience sang two songs, and really good if I might add. Also very positive was that during some songs there were almost no mobile phones in sight, as people were actually dancing, jumping or just enjoying the music for once. I loved that part especially! Being the oldschool person, I love kpop music mainly for its music and not for the looks. But I know that most people in all kpop fandom are not there for the music only, so this surprised me the most.

Mydays are just cool I guess ! Love you guys!

The organization was okay I think. We came 2 hours after the numbering started and got pretty decent numbers. The wristbands were our entry ticket later on, which I think was a great thing. We were only GA1 and were standing completely to the left with only one girl before us and the barrier, so we ended up standing relatively close, yet still kinda far away from the stage. Close enough to see them very clearly, but almost too far for videos and already too far for photos. I can imagine GA2 to be pretty unhappy, as they were further away.

The videos played in the background were nice, but together with the lights they made it difficult to see the guys. The light show on its own was a huge mess in my opinion. Yeah, it was in sync with the music and it was really artistic sometimes and even really special occasionally. But they overdid it! I felt that they should have shown a warning sign for people with epilepsy. Really! During two songs it was like in a really annoying disco. I would have overlooked it, if it were just annoying, but sometimes you couldn't see the band properly and making pictures was almost impossible, as the lights were directed at the audience 50% of the time. This sort of light show might be cool for other kpop acts, but not for a real band like Day6. Also the guys were hit with such bright lights, that they actually looked white. And I mean white white, as in white like a paper and not white like a caucasian. I can only imagine how annoying this must have been to the guys. So I have no good videos or pictures to show, but I guess there are already dozens of great ones from the VIPs.

The merch was okay, but not especially great.

Oh and this was the first time I enjoyed the confetti. It somehow fit the vibe and they shot it over more then half of the audience which was a lot. Now I get the hype.

This was long... have I forgotten something? Any questions? (@scoundrels-in-love 🙂)

Conclusion: Cant wait to see them again! I want Sungjin as a big brother or friend. Jae should be my best friend for real. Young K is dangerous. Wonpil and Dowoon are cuties. The all are great musicians and entertainers. The light effect guys should calm down a pinch.

[hazyheel]

10 Ways WWE can improve their weekly TV

WWE has a bit of a problem on their hands: the other major wrestling promotions around the world are making a serious run at their product. New Japan has proved on several occasions that they can sell out buildings in the United States, and their incredibly powerful alliance with Ring of Honor, RevPro and CMLL gives them a huge talent pool to work with, without overexposing them. Lucha Underground (if it is staying afloat) is an interesting alternative to a lot of main stream wrestling due to its unique style of storytelling. Impact Wrestling has been improving steadily since the beginning of 2018, and they are becoming a bigger threat every year. And of course, AEW is premiering next month, and indy fans are already saying that they will revolutionize the wrestling business, and could even bring a new form of the Monday Night Wars. Now, I don’t know how accurate that is, but WWE needs to be concerned about these other companies. The reason why I took a week or two off of WWE in March was because I was watching the New Japan Cup, and I couldn’t even stand watching Raw or Smackdown because of the high quality of wrestling I was watching every day. That is a serious problem that I couldn’t watch their programing because I knew it would be a lot worse than a competitor. It will be a while before WWE falls to another company, but they need to get ahead of the curve on this. Several companies are coming for their position as number 1, and the first step to defending their turf is improving Raw, Smackdown, and hell, even NXT and Main Event. 

1. Make Raw 2 hours again: this point has been beaten to death, but that is because it sooooooooo needs to happen. A 3 hour show is incredibly difficult to watch every week, and we end up watching a bunch of low card matches that we do not care about, and the people that we do care about get overexposed because they need to be on the show every week. 205 Live and NXT work really well, because their talent does not wrestle every week, which gives them a sense of specialness and mystery that is not present on the main roster. So, why two hours instead of one like the “developmental” brands? Well, those brands simply couldn’t sustain a monthly pay per view schedule with that little air time. It works perfectly for the bi-monthly schedule of NXT Takeover, but they could not do 12 big shows a year. So, a two hour show for Raw, where all of the important storylines and title scenes are addressed in each episode, will be enough to craft good stories.

2. Form some stables: this is a very New Japan style, but there is a reason it works. Forming some large stables in WWE would give a tangible reason to put lower and midcard guys on the show. Put them in a big, multi person tag match when they need to fill time. This creates the option to have feuds between stables, allowing for actual reasons for interesting feuds on the undercard, without matches getting too competitive. It also provides relationships between wrestlers, a necessity for interesting storytelling that is not used nearly as much as it should be. In a bigger tag match, it allows for lower card guys to wrestle possible main eventers. It even would help for pay per views, giving an organic style of match to put on the pre-show: a fun 6 or 8 man tag between stables, possibly with big stars on the teams who don’t have anything real to do at the show. It shows good wrestling without showing off major storylines for free. Moving away from the booking for a bit, putting these less popular wrestlers on the show more in a capacity that fans may care about means that they have less of a reason to jump ship to another company. There are a lot of diverse benefits to creating a larger atmosphere of gang warfare, not unlike the way things were in the late 90′s

3. Clean up the announce team: another point that has been beat to death, but I am so damn sick of a three person team. There is better chemistry in a two person booth, again creating a relationship for fans to enjoy, while allowing the commentators to have organic conversation without feeling the need to chime in. Renee Young and Corey Graves have great chemistry together, and it pains me to say that Michael Cole gets in the way of that, often. He is just redundant on the team. The same goes for Byron Saxton and Aiden English. Saxton sucks, so Tom Phillips and Corey Graves would be a fun and refreshing commentary team without Saxton desperately trying to get Graves to respect him. Vic Joseph and Nigel McGuiness work great together on NXT UK, so there is no reason why they can’t on 205 Live as well. As for NXT, I actually like the team they have, but Nigel McGuiness doesn’t really need to be there. Percy Watson and Mauro Renallo would be fine on their own. Also, going in a bit of a random direction, the main roster commentators need to take a page out of NXT’s book of announcing a match or two for next week, to get fans excited a week before the match even happens. I always liked that, but it is really just a random suggestion. A two person booth genuinely works better. And though I criticized Michael Cole, that does not mean that I don’t have an idea for him outside of commentary.

4. Very professional General Managers: Drake Maverick, William Regal and Johnny Saint are phenomenal in their performances as GM. Smackdown and Raw really need something like that. This is where Cole comes in. He, as a professional babyface, would be a welcome change to the constant annoyance that is the presence of an authority figure at every turn. Cole could run the show from behind the scenes, appearing for important segments but nothing more. I think that the McMahons have far overstayed their welcome, although having them around for a few weeks at a time to abuse power is a pretty good idea. But in between those stretches, Cole has a good idea of how to come across as an authority, and he has a subtle charisma about him that would benefit him in that role. He isn’t the kind of guy WWE would want to shove down our throats, and that is the kind of GM Raw and Smackdown need right now. 

5. Fewer non-finishes: these are just infuriating, and they happen all the time. Now, not every count out is necessarily a non finish, but DQ’s tend to be, and they are maddening. I would even lump in the distraction-roll-up finish in here too, because that is waaaaaay overdone. I mean, shouldn’t the faces of the company start to realize what their rivals are doing by playing their music? I hate when the heroes just look dumb. Non-finishes is mostly just a lazy storytelling crutch, and they should be fazed out for competitive matches with actual booking.

6. Better main events: I am just kinda sick of rushed together main events that don’t end up meaning anything. WWE is normally pretty decent with this on Smackdown, but Raw’s main events seem to be repetitive and boring. Why watch a throwaway match like Baron Corbin vs. Rey Mysterio when there was a tag team championship match earlier in the night? That seems ass backwards. WWE needs to respect their belts more, and that includes those in the midcard. If there is a championship match on the card, there is no reason why it shouldn’t be the main event. It will give the final match of the night a sense of stake, and it will elevate the belts. The tag titles are never in the main event slot, and they would get a huge bump for being in that top slot on Raw. Better booking of the main events, in ways that aren’t so repetitive and pointless, will help the shows overall.

7. Keeping track of wins and losses. Because then, we will be able to understand how people are progressively moving towards a title belt. Keeping track of the wins and losses in this manner will give the audience a real sense of where things are going. It will make random title matches and open challenges feel a bit more like a great opportunity, because anyone could challenge even if they aren’t on the list. It will also be an interactive thing with the fans. It will be easier to show people on the rise as they go from contender 5 to number 1. It will just be an easier way to book Becky Lynch’s meteoric rise to the women’s championship, because people could follow it. It will make things feel like a real sport, and that is a good thing in a product that feels oddly in between a sport and soap opera.

8. Weekly press conferences with the on screen GM’s. Speaking of making things feel more like sports, this is a very interesting way to progress storylines. Gm’s come out for a little press conference things, and fake reporters ask questions in kayfabe about certain stories. For example, if there was an attack backstage on Raw, a reporter can ask about it, and the GM can talk about what he or she will do, such as keeping them apart for the night, or booking them in a match. This will be an interesting way to keep on screen authorities involved in the shows without really shoving them down our throats all the time. We don’t need to see someone like William Regal every week, because he will show up on this show and talk about the various feuds. It could also be a great way for champions, or controversial superstars to have a place to cut a promo. It will feel very professional, and interesting, to see the champions speak about their various feuds and such. And yes, an extra hour for fans to watch on the network could be tedious, but given that we are rolling back an hour for Raw, I am not too worried.

9. Use stipulation matches correctly. WWE is very weird about how they book stipulation matches. A few years ago when I started watching, they would not often book a stipulation match, but when they did, it could be anything from a no DQ match to a cage match. This era was around 2011-2012. Then I stopped watching, and I picked up again in early 2017. And boy was there a change on TV. They do more stipulation matches now, but almost all of them are multi-man matches. They happen about once every 2 weeks, whether it is on Raw or Smackdown. And I am not opposed to things like this happening, I just don’t think we need it as often as we are getting it. A good example of a triple threat was on the Smackdown after Elimination Chamber 2017. Now, if you don’t remember, Bray Wyatt won the WWE championship in the chamber that night, and it was only 2 weeks after John Cena beat AJ styles for it at the Royal Rumble. So, on Smackdown, Cena wanted a rematch, and AJ wanted a more fair rematch than he got the sunday before. So, they booked a triple threat main event. That makes sense. But last year and bleeding into this year, they have been throwing together multi-man and multi-team matches to fill out the card and get a lot of bodies on the show. And I understand that impulse to do that,  but it devalues those types of matches and makes them feel a lot less special. When they happen in New Japan, it feels like a huge occasion, because the happen so infrequently. So, if WWE wants multi person matches to feel interesting and special, we can’t have them every two weeks. But at the same time, throwing in a different type of stipulation every once in a while spices things up.

10. Make NXT a real brand. Triple H has already gone on record saying that he wanted to make this a reality, so why not go for it? Given the crazy amount of talent on each roster, having a third brand that is equal but different would really help. If a superstar is too overexposed on the main roster, draft them to NXT. Down there, they feel special, and can get their mojo back. Same goes for 205 live, if a superstar is a cruiserweight. But say someone like Finn Balor or Ricochet or Johnny Gargano just do not work on the main roster, 205 live will give them a fresh start. Now, I get that is disappointing to a lot of people, but given the quality of 205 Live lately, it would only make it and the superstars better. Then they can do some interesting things with titles crossing brands and such, maybe even an NXT vs. Smackdown show or something. It is just interesting.

So, that is how I would improve WWE tv. Not all of these things need to go together, although some of them do, but each one of them would definitely help. Hopefully, WWE can start to implement these and make their shows even better.

[jujubieberbae]

Missin You Pt 2

Its been a damn while. Whoops? But I hope this is good enough. It’s long so I hope this makes up for the fact that I might not update for a while..... Im a terrible person.

Read part one here!

Dinner at mamaw’s was always a cherishable moment for me as a small child. It was one of the only times the whole family managed to sit together and enjoy each others company without the constant chaos and hassle of the farm outside. 

Mamaw was a sweet woman, always giving and never taking. Kind and forgiving. She took care of those close to her, family or not, for her motto was blood is thicker then water but ice is solid.

Everyone that she payed was invited to join the family for dinner so family dinner night was always a feast with a standard party that consisted of over 30 people.

Though as the saying went, there was a first for everything. And tonight  was the first time I had ever dreaded family dinner night. Everyone was rumoured to be there in celebration of our arrival. Or so as said. 

Uncles, aunts, cousins and family friends all alike, to sit around a table built for 12 enjoying a Delicious home made meal stirred up by my grandmother. It sounds like a good time, but times have changed.

I no longer was the little girl with a missing tooth and fuzzy pig tails, nor the girl who lived in overalls and knew of no other hair style but a plat. I wasn’t the girl who sang with my grandmother every other night. And I wasn’t the girl that was avidly obsessed with the thought of being with her best friend. 

That best friend being the certain someone I was trying so desperately to avoid.

No. Instead, I was the new and upgraded Y/N. I had moved to the city away from my traditional family and into the heart of modern society. Where drugs, alcohol and sex was as traditional as anyone would get. 

Of course I hadn’t fallen into the world of alcoholism and partying every night with a blunt in hand, only to wake up in an unknown bed by morning, but I had to admit I had slept around a bit. I was in no ways innocent.

But down here was a living and breathing reminder of all and everything innocent about Y/N L/N. So dreading this dinner was an understatement. I was dreading this entire trip.

“Y/N?”

Head whipping to the side, a head full of hair following, I was met with non other then my grandmother herself, peering through the door of my old bedroom with furrowed eyebrows.

“Mamaw?” 

The sight of me decent was enough for her to walk in comfortably, her face stressed and mouth pulled into a sad frown, her accent thick as she spoke. “Why’re you so quiet. You usually love to visit your mamaw. Something wrong?” 

The shake of my head was my only answer. I was already sick of being here, home was the one place on my mind. 

My short and unusual answer left the woman pursing her lips in conflict, and after a harsh second she found it best to let it go for now and just inform me that dinner was ready and everyone was waiting. 

So together we descended down the old time creaky stairs into the kitchen where in fact everyone was waiting. And I mean everyone.  

A room full of heads snapping over to glare at me had my face red and blood boiling. All faces of the past, people I hadn’t seen in over three years. People I once upon a time was so close with were now nothing more then just another relative of family friend.

Awkwardly, I glanced across the room, All the seats surrounding the table were occupied expect one spot I assumes to be mamaws while everyone else stood around the table with plates of half eaten food in their hands. Guess I’m late to the party.

Then suddenly a pair of eyes caught mine.

Those golden brown pools of honey that I never failed to make my heart thud just a beat faster, even years later. He stood to the left with a plate of mamaws chicken in his now muscular hand. Last time I saw him he was nothing more then a lanky teddy bear.

It was a solid minute of silent eye contact between us which had not been left unseen by my family members, but they didn’t interfere. They knew about our lost feelings that were once a dazing fire between us. I could only imagine what was running through their heads at that moment. Probably all pitiful for Justin and disapproving towards me for doing him dirty like I did.

But to my surprise Justin smiled. He smiled… at me. Not a fake smile. Not a ‘well fuck you’ smile. A genuine smile. One that would have women shaking at the knees and begging him to take them to bed right this instant.

And I couldn’t help but smile back. It was a subconscious reaction, one that I didn’t control but just kind of happened. I honestly missed being around him as much as I wanted to forget my old life but no matter what it didn’t matter anyways because when my eyes trailed just slightly to his right my smile had turned into a long frown.

Besides him was the girl from earlier. Her name still unknown but her innocent country beauty not left unseen. It was no debate that I had change immens. I was not that innocent beauty anymore. I was now that sinful sexy you saw all around california. Crop tops and booty shorts were my go-to, beach waves my best friends. No more overalls and plats. That girl was gone. 

I doubt Justin would like me now. It was obvious he was one for innocence. He liked me when I was innocent and now it was obvious he had eyes for her. She was innocent and always on his arm, not to mention the glares she was constantly throwing me. What more could say ‘he’s my boyfriend back off’?

Taking a sharp right away from the boy I felt for and the girl who was unknown, I was met with non other then my uncle Jim himself, an extended hand of a full plate for me to take ready, his usual white smile set in his face. “Just the way you like it.” He said. “Glad to have you back.”

My lips pursued into a tight smile and all I could do was nod my head in response. Couldn’t exactly say the same, I thought.

Dinner went on in a consistent chatter. It seemed everyone had someone to converse with but me. I stood quietly to the side picking at my chicken with the one hand not holding up the plate. The only conversation I had was the occasional welcome back from an old relative.

The whole of dinner was really none other then a blur. The only thing I remember really was short conversations and the occasional glance over at Justin. The plane ride here had me jet lagged beyond belief and my head was thudding in pain from the constant clatter of noise from around. If home wasn’t an option then bed certainly was the next best thing.

My stomach for unknown reasons was becoming rather queasy and this food was beginning to look less and less appetising. And my face must have caught manses attention because a second later she was asking me if I was okay.

”Mamaw I’m not feeling to hot. I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

”Is there anything I can do?” She had asked but I shook my head no.

”No I think I just need to lie down.” Was my response.

After that mamaw nodded and I was off to bed, under the memorable pink covers in less then a minute flat.

For almost thirty minutes I lay awake, listening to the last member of the dinner party leave and everyone else turn in for the night. The silence was daunting in comparison to the usual hustle of Cali but in a way it was a nice change.

Though the silence wasn’t long lasting. Footsteps, quiet but noticeable were slowly but surely approaching with every passing second I lay awake. For a minute I thought maybe it was mamaw passing towards her room but when the sound stopped right in front of my door, I was shocked to have seen it open to none other then Justin.

I decided not to say anything, but instead just turn from my back to my side away from him. By the silence of the room, I knew he was still and he was still for a good few moments, all until the creek of the floorboards signified that he was moving closer.

The bed besides me sunk under his weight as he noticeably sat but the absence of his eyes had me realizing that he wasn’t looking at me at all.

It took a while but my curiosity got the best of me and soon I couldn’t help myself as I spun on my back to face the man.

He made no attempt to turn or even acknowledge my recent movement, instead choosing to continue staring at the floor in front of him. So in turn I sat up, sighing as I directed my eyes to look in front of me as well.

And finally I spoke, still not making any eye contact. “Justin....?” The absence of a response left me sighing. “I know your mad.-”

“Mad?” His voice was low and slightly amused, but he still faced the front of him giving me no indication of how his face must have looked. “That’s not what I am.”

I paused, leaving a lingering silence between us for a bit. “Then what are you? Huh, Justin? Because I doubt you’d be anything but so.”

He was unresponsive.

“No matter how much you smile at me and no matter how happy you sound when you speak, I know you still hate me for leaving......” I waited for a reply, but still nothing. “Mamaw would always call me and tell me how mad you were after I left. I felt guilty but....”

“You should have called.”

“I know I should have called but I couldn't.”

Justin suddenly spun in his position one foot hiked up onto the bed. The sudden movement left my head shooting back to look at him and now we were making eye contact. 

He didn’t seem mad, his face was calm though the undertone of his expression was easily recognized as annoyance. Guess he still thought about this from time to time.

“And why is that? Cause you were too busy living your best life?!” 

“Because I was too pussy to!” 

Justin shut his mouth at that, looking on with slightly enraged eyes, but he didn't stop me when I continued to speak. 

“I’m not in denial Justin, I know what I was. I was a pussy, too scared to call you because I knew at the time that if I'd heard your voice, I would have come back. By the time I was settled and comfortable in the city I knew It was too late to call.” 

“So you decided to leave me wondering what happened to you after all these years?”

“I decided to spare you the heart ache.” No response, so I continued. “We had something Justin. . . I didn’t want you to remember me as the one that got away. I would have rathered it be my fault because I knew you. You would have blamed yourself for letting me leave.”

There was once again nothing from Justin for a few seconds before he chose to speak up. “Well guess you didn’t know me well enough to realize that I probably still would have blamed myself, thinking you left because of me. “

My face fell, a hand reaching out for him before realizing what I was doing and backing down. “Justin? Did you really feel that way?” 

He shrugged, shuffling back on the bed slightly. “For a bit. Yeah.”

“I-Im sorry...”

“Don’t apologize. Seriously, I don’t want your pity.”

I shook my head with a sigh. “It’s not pity. It’s genuine. Besides, its not like you'd care anyways.”

Justin seemed confused by my sudden answer, shifting in his position to face me better. “What are you talking about.” 

I looked up. “You have a girl now Justin, why would you care about what happened 3 years ago?”

Justin chuckled slightly, leaning back in his seat to stare me down better. “You mean Skylar? She’s cool and all but she’s not my girlfriend.”

“So a side chick?” I jokingly added.

Clearly picking up my playful tone, Justin chuckled also, shaking his head at my humor. “No Y/N, not a side chick. A friend. A good one.” 

“Which is code for unofficial girlfriend.”

“No, which means nothing but a good friend. Your grandma hired her after you left in order to look after Jigsaw and we got along. And before you start rambling about how you can read people and how you figured it out, yes I know she likes me, I’m not oblivious. But I just don’t return those feelings.”

Although It shouldn’t have been, hearing those words was like an odd relief off my shoulders. But I hid it well, only nodding along to his explanation. 

“But why not? She’s nice, pretty... innocent.”

Justin smirked, “You have a life now Y/N, why would you care about my love life?”

Clearly mocking my previous words, I shook my head, slowly becoming more and more tired as this conversation went on. But I stood my ground and answered his obviously rhetorical question. “Not for selfish reasons, but because I do still care about you JB. You deserve to be happy.”

But the next words he mumbled was the obvious line for both of us. “You made me happy.”

None of us looked at each other after that. We both knew this conversation alone was already a step too far for our broken relationship and that last sentence was the end of what seemed to be an emotional discussion.  

After that it was like the other wasn't even in the room anymore. 

I shuffled forward and lay back down in my bed, turning my back away from him, suddenly becoming unexpectedly emotional after feeling a few odd tears surfacing the tips of my eyes. 

Justin was hesitant in his actions but stood from his seat and made his way over to the door without another word to be said. It wasn’t until he so unexpectedly spoke up that I let a few tears fall. 

“Good night Y/N” 

And then the creek of the door and the light of the hallway were gone as the door shut behind the one man who I ever treated fell for.

[quicksilversquared]

How to Fake a Marriage Ch. 16

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  10  11  12  13  14  15            

(AO3) (FF.net)

It didn't take long for Adrien to absolutely hate his schedule for the second semester. He had a ridiculously heavy load on Tuesdays and Thursdays, only a couple things on Mondays and Fridays, and absolutely nothing on Wednesdays. It hadn't sounded bad when he initially got the schedule, had been slightly annoying at the start of the semester, and now?

Now he was very tired of being alternately overwhelmed and having nothing to do.

"Just before the bell, just like usual," Paul commented as Adrien dashed into his Quantum Physics lecture classroom ten seconds before three o'clock. "Jeez, Agreste, did you run here from your lab?"

"Yeah, I did," Adrien admitted, settling into his seat and immediately diving into his bag to dig out his notebook. "It ran over just a bit. I had to leave my lab partner to clean up the last few things, since he doesn't have class for another hour and I had to leave."

Paul just shook his head in disbelief. Somehow he had been luckier than Adrien with getting his schedule, and his labs were more spread out through the week.

"It makes me miss Wednesdays," Adrien grumbled as the professor came in and started setting up. "Yesterday I had nowhere that I had to be and I didn't have to run around campus like a chicken with its head cut off."

"I thought you hated not having anything to do."

"I do," Adrien admitted, flipping through his notebook to find where he had left off. "I got bored of studying and surfing the internet by noon, so I went over to have lunch with Marinette before she had to go back to work. And then I went home and studied some more and was sick of being alone by three. But it's better than having to rush around campus because I have back-to-back classes all day."

"And you really do need a break after labs," Paul agreed. "I hear that they tend to run over more and more once you hit the higher levels. That's what an upperclassman told me, at least. Not every lab, but often enough."

"That's not gonna be fun," Adrien sighed. He'd have to take it into account when making his schedule, and that would force him to have weird breaks during his day. "At least those labs should be more interesting, though. As long as I actually have a break after them and I don't have to worry about getting to my next class, I don't think I'd actually mind that much."

Before Paul could respond, the professor called the class to order. Adrien sat up and forced himself to focus. He couldn't let his studies suffer just because he had been in class all day and had another class yet after this lecture ended. His father would just blame it on his traveling instead of on his class schedule.

Despite himself, Adrien couldn't keep his mind from wandering just a bit as the professor did a quick review of what they had covered in the previous class two days prior. It had been difficult getting out of bed that morning, partly because he had been dreading his class schedule that day, partly because he had been out a little later than he had intended with Ladybug, and partly because Marinette had been sleeping over because her neighbor had been loud again and the bed was lovely and warm and he didn't want to leave her.

He had been really lucky that Marinette hadn't come over until after he got back from being Chat Noir. If she had come over while he was still out or, worse yet, had been in his living room when he detransformed, then he would have been in trouble. He hadn't really thought it through before giving Marinette an extra key to his apartment, but he hadn't run into any problems yet and it was easier for Marinette to let herself in than for her to have to knock, especially when her neighbor started up the music pretty late and Adrien was already asleep.

They had also been lucky that the tabloids had, for the most part, lost interest in him and Marinette. He had only had to do one interview since the semester started (well, an "interview". A reporter had cornered him at the bus station and had annoyed him into answering a few questions before the bus came by and saved him), and he sincerely hoped that it would be the last. Once again he had been forced to confirm that no, he and Marinette weren't dating, because apparently having been told that a good five times previously wasn't enough.

And that was all that they were going to get from him. There was no way that Adrien was going to tell them (or anyone else) that while he and Marinette weren't dating now, it wasn't exactly impossible to think that they might in the future. The realization had snuck up on him over time, but Adrien had found just recently that he couldn't exactly deny it anymore.

He had always thought that Marinette was amazing. She was headstrong and opinionated, but that didn't keep her from being kind and willing to help others. Her talent for design was absolutely undeniable, but she wasn't at all conceited about it and she shared that talent with others through gifts designed specifically for the recipient. Adrien thought that she was just an amazing person overall, and it didn't hurt that she was absolutely adorable besides.

Now that he was thinking about it, he probably should have guessed that he felt more than just friendship towards her after spending most of Fashion Week delighting over her reactions to things going down the runway.

It probably also didn't hurt that Marinette strongly reminded Adrien of Ladybug. Both women had very similar personalities, enough that it was fairly obvious that Adrien had a type. Still, he wasn't going to act on his newfound crush for several reasons.

One, he was still very in love with his superhero partner, and it wouldn't be fair to Marinette if he got into a relationship with her while still having feelings for Ladybug, especially when he still saw (and flirted with) Ladybug at least once a week.

Two, he didn't actually know if Marinette was interested in him. After all, he hadn't exactly seen any larges changes in her behavior towards him since the school year had started and he was fairly positive that she hadn't been interested in him like that then. He didn't want to make things awkward by asking her out and then being turned down.

And three... well, his father hadn't exactly lifted the ban on Adrien dating. And Adrien was planning on complying, at least for now.

A sharp elbow to the side pulled Adrien out of his thoughts and he glanced to the side to see Paul gesturing to the front. The professor had moved on from the review to new material, which meant that Adrien should be paying attention.

He sighed, picking up his pencil and starting to take notes. He could figure it all out later, he supposed. After all, he had to focus on getting through the day in one piece first.

  February turned into March, bringing with it weather that was occasionally actually decent enough for Adrien and Marinette to want to be outside for more than a minute at a time. Naturally, both suddenly developed a tendency to "go to bed early" on nice days, and soon Ladybug and Chat Noir would be out enjoying the cool evenings.

"Are you enjoying your time in London?" Chat Noir asked as they jumped over rooftops. "I know I am, even though we can't go out during the day."

"It's been fun," Ladybug said. She paused on a particularly tall rooftop to survey the city, letting the breeze tease her hair. She was wearing it mostly down today, with a bit pinned back out of her face. It looked quite a bit like the hairstyle that Marinette had been wearing earlier, and Chat Noir had to wonder if that particular hairstyle was in trend at the moment. He didn't know; after all, he didn't exactly pay attention to trends in women's hairstyles normally. He'd have to try to remember to ask Marinette about it sometime.

"It's amazing that we haven't been noticed yet."

Ladybug nodded. "Yeah! I mean, I know we've been careful, but even so, you would think that someone would just happen to glance up at the right time and see us jumping over the street. It's possible that people have glanced us and just not believed their eyes, I suppose, but it's not like we're hanging out in different areas each time we go out. If someone saw us more than once, then they might figure out that they weren't just seeing things."

"So... do you think we should be trying to go to different parts of the city, then?" Chat Noir asked. He really didn't want to, mostly because he knew these rooftops now, and if it started raining or sleeting (as it was prone to do at this time of the year), then it would be that much farther to get back to his apartment, and Plagg would be that much more likely to catch a cold. "Or, since no one's spotted us yet, are we still fine?"

Ladybug bit her lip, puzzling over that. "I...don't know. I mean, maybe we could try to shake up what direction we go in, but I don't know that it would make too much sense to go too far. I think for now, we should just stay as-is."

"Purr-fect." Chat Noir grinned at the exasperated look Ladybug gave him for the pun. "What? I happen to like this neighborhood quite a bit."

"If you say so." Ladybug suddenly looked a bit reserved, like he had maybe said something that he shouldn't have. She looked like that sometimes when he mentioned something that might reveal his secret identity, but he hadn't, had he? Unless she somehow thought that his comment about liking the neighborhood meant that he himself lived there and therefore it was too much information, but that was ridiculous.

After all, loads of people lived in the neighborhood that they roamed through the most. There were more than a few apartment buildings and townhouses nearby. Besides, he was fairly positive that he had once made some comment when they were in Paris about his family's house not being far away. Surely his comment now was far less revealing than that.

He decided not to worry about it too much. Maybe Ladybug was reacting to something else entirely. Maybe she lived in the neighborhood too, and she was just a little jumpy because of that.

That made a lot more sense.

"I can't believe how fast the year is going by," Ladybug said, breaking the silence as they started to move again. "Soon it's going to be properly warm again, and the days will be super-long..."

"Oh, that's gonna make things hard," Chat Noir realized with a bit of a jolt. "We'll have to go out really late if we want to stay hidden." That wouldn't be fun. He had been applying to jobs in London for the summer, and if he stayed up late to hang out with Ladybug and still had to get up early then he'd be tired for work. And, unlike in the classroom, his supervisors would probably notice.

Of course, depending on when Ladybug headed back to Paris, maybe it wouldn't be a problem. If she went back early, then there would be no real reason for him to go out as Chat Noir, because all he would be doing would be running around. He wasn't going to lie to himself and try to claim that meeting up with Ladybug was the real reason why he went out so often. Once she went back to Paris, he would probably only go out on occasion to stretch his legs and get some fresh air.

Or maybe he would go a little stir-crazy without Marinette across the hall to hang out with and he would go out every night just to enjoy the sounds of the city. It could go either way, really.

Maybe he would find himself trotting back to Paris over the weekend more often next year, simply because he wouldn't have either Marinette or Ladybug nearby and the homesickness would get to him. Part of him thought that it wouldn't be terrible, but the other part knew that it would be exhausting to always be traveling back and forth.

Besides, then he would never get out of doing any photoshoots.

"Being out too late would probably be a bad idea," Ladybug pointed out, pulling Adrien out of his thoughts. "I have a lot of stuff that I'll have to be getting done, and I'm never on top of my game when I've been up all night."

"It makes getting up in the morning impossibly more difficult," Chat Noir agreed. He glanced up to where the moon was occasionally visible, peeking out from behind the clouds. It had gotten pretty high in the sky while they were out running around, which meant that it was probably pretty late and he was going to regret this in the morning. Almost as though she was reading his mind, Ladybug sighed and slowed down before turning around.

"It's getting late. Let's head back, kitten."

Chat Noir pouted at her, and Ladybug only laughed. Reaching out, she scratched under his chin lightly until he purred. "C'mon, we've been out for ages. It's late, and I swear I'm only upright because of the suit. I'm gonna be half-asleep by the time I'm getting ready for bed."

It didn't take long for them to get back to where they had run into each other at the start of their "patrol". His apartment building was only a block over, so Chat Noir dawdled a bit on the rooftop so Ladybug wouldn't accidentally see him landing on his balcony and heading inside. Only once she was out of sight did he pole quickly over to the building and drop down onto his balcony.

And then he heard the music.

"It's not even the weekend yet," Chat Noir grumbled, stepping inside. The music wasn't particularly loud in his apartment, but he could still hear it faintly floating under his door. "That's not coo- oh, shoot!"

Music going late meant Marinette coming over once it was her bedtime. It was just after one in the morning, according to the clock in the kitchen- wow, he and Ladybug had sure been out for a while- which meant that Marinette had probably already come over ages ago and found him not in the apartment. This was bad, this was very bad, this was very, very bad- what if she had heard him come in and found Chat Noir instead?

Diving into the kitchen, Chat Noir detransformed, flinging open the fridge to provide a little more shelter and to try to disguise the light from his detransformation. Plagg took the open fridge door as an invitation to dive right in and help himself, but Adrien ignored him, standing very, very still as he listened for any sign of Marinette.

There was the sound of a key in the door. Adrien froze, grabbed a half-filled glass of water off of the counter so it would look like he had just come to the kitchen for a drink, and closed the fridge before popping innocently into the living room, ignoring Plagg's disgruntled "Hey!" from inside the fridge.

Marinette blinked at Adrien curiously as she stepped inside and re-locked the door. "Adrien? I didn't expect to find you awake!" She paused, getting a better look at him. "...are you really still dressed?"

...shoot. He was, in fact, still wearing his jeans. He really should have changed into his night clothes before transforming and going out.

"Did you fall asleep doing homework again?" Marinette asked, sounding a little exasperated. "Adrien."

"No, I was just reading and fell asleep before I could finish getting ready," Adrien claimed, pretending to take a sip of his water. "And then I woke up and needed something to drink. What about you? I would have thought you would have come over earlier."

"Fell asleep early on my couch," Marinette said after a pause. "So I slept through the start of the music, and only just woke up. So. Yeah. And now I'm here."

"And now you're here," Adrien agreed, still a little jumpy after nearly being found out. "Ah, so I still have to wash up and all, but you go ahead to bed. I'll be there soon enough."

Marinette nodded through a yawn, running a hand through her hair. "Okay. Good night, Adrien."

"'Night, Mari."

As Marinette headed down the hall, Adrien slumped a little against the wall, letting out a sigh of relief and silently thanking Ladybug for deciding to turn around when she did. If he had gotten back any later than he had, he would have really been in trouble. He couldn't think of any plausible excuse that would explain away why he was out of his apartment after one in the morning. Marinette knew him too well for any of his normal half-baked excuses to work properly, even when she was tired beyond belief.

"Hey! Lemme out!"

...and at least Marinette was now in the bedroom and he didn't have to explain why his fridge was yelling. That would have been really hard to explain.

  The rest of the first half of the semester positively flew by, even with Adrien's less-than-ideal schedule. Rosalie Fashions went through another Fashion Week, this time with all models present and intact. The man that Adrien had replaced for the fall Fashion Week was as good as new, and Adrien was pleased to hear that he had recovered quickly from the car accident and hadn't been too badly impacted. A bit after that was midterms, and then after that Adrien had the chance to breathe a little as he got another week off for spring break and the Easter holiday. This semester seemed to be harder than the last, partially due to the classes themselves and partly because of his crummy schedule alternating between making him scramble across campus and boring him to death, so the break was welcome.

But short. Way too short, and it went by way too fast.

Adrien had more time at home than Marinette, who had to use another couple of her hoarded vacation days to extend her stay long enough to see her parents properly. Adrien himself had to suffer through another round of photoshoots while he was at home, this time for late spring and early summer looks, before he could go out and visit his friends- and by that, he mostly meant Nino, since Alya had just gotten a potential lead about an old Miraculous holder and she could only tear herself away from the computer for a short while to say hi to Adrien before diving back in.

It was amusing, but also slightly concerning. Adrien decided that Marinette's concerns about Alya potentially neglecting her actual work to keep researching her own project when she found a promising lead were probably well-founded and likely at least a little accurate.

"I'd say that we would visit you guys in London again soon, but I don't know if I could drag Alya away from her work for long enough," Nino had told Adrien, sounding a little exasperated. "It takes almost everything I have to even get her to set things aside long enough for a date night, let alone any longer trips."

"But she is still getting her work for the newspaper done, right?" Adrien wanted to know. Nino had just made a face.

"At the moment, yeah. She lets things slip when she gets like this, though."

Adrien could only sigh and hope that Alya would take a few steps back and realize before it was too late that the Ladybug research stuff could wait, but her actual job really couldn't. He was sure that one reprimand from her boss would set her straight in a hurry and she would do everything she could to get back in the newspaper's good graces, but it still wouldn't look good to have that on her record.

After the too-short break, Adrien and Marinette were back in London. Alya had sworn up and down that she and Nino would come visit again later in the semester, but neither Adrien nor Marinette had particularly believed her. After all, whenever she wasn't eyeball-deep in Miraculous research, she was scrambling to catch up with the things she had neglected at her job during her research spree. They would have to content themselves with video calls for the time being.

Besides, it wasn't as though Adrien and Marinette really had the time to spare to host their friends again. Now that the second half of the semester had started, Adrien found that he had several more projects that needed to be worked on on top of his normal homework. Marinette had shown Madam Rosalie the results of hours upon hours working on potential fabric patterns and now she was working with an experienced fabrics designer on the staff to make her designs reality. It involved a lot of printing out short sample pieces and going over what proportions worked and what ones didn't and then editing and reprinting, over and over and over to get a pattern that would read well. On top of that, it was Marinette's turn to get a bit more experience working with models and photographers on photoshoots, so she was rushing from one to the other to try to get everything done. It resulted in more than a few long days and working on weekends to get everything done.

They were both badly in need of a break. So when Adrien heard about a local festival in mid-April in a town a ways to their north from a classmate of his who was from that area, both of them were eager to check it out. It would be an overnight trip, both because it was a ways away and because they wanted plenty of time to explore the festival, because the classmate had made it sound like it was a pretty big deal.

They had assumed that a pretty big deal for a town that size just meant that locally, it was a big event. Like, everyone in town would go, and maybe people who had families there would go back, and maybe a couple people from neighboring towns would show up as well. That assumption was apparently wrong.

"Nearly all of the hotels in the area are booked, and absolutely all the nice ones are completely full," Adrien reported as he clicked on yet another link. "But those would be out of our preferred price range anyway. And then there's a room with two single beds in it in a midrange hotel, but it's a smoking room."

"Nope," Marinette said immediately from where she was putting dishes away in the kitchen. She had been unfortunate enough to once not check on the smoking designation of the room, and she hadn't been able to sleep at all because of the stench. She was not doing that again.

"Then the only non-smoking rooms left only have one bed each," Adrien reported. "And there's only- oh. There's only one room left. That's it."

There was a pause.

"Well, it's not like we've never shared a bed before," Marinette offered. Since her neighbor hadn't yet kicked the habit of playing music late into the night several days a week (at least they had been largely confining it to Fridays and weekends after too many noise complaints), Marinette had found herself slipping over to Adrien's apartment to share his bed. He had never minded, even though the bed was perhaps a little small for both of them to really spread out, and Marinette herself definitely didn't object. "As long as the tabloids don't follow us there and then find out that our room is a single bed. And I don't think they will. I haven't seen anything printed about us for months." The reporters had been bad right after the runway and then spiked again after Christmas (apparently since they had been spotted hanging out in Paris, which was honestly ridiculous) and then again at Valentine's Day, but after several further rounds of interviews (generally at Mr. Agreste or Nathalie's request) where Adrien had to reiterate that no, he and Marinette's relationship status had not changed and they were not dating, they seemed to get bored.

It was really about time, in Marinette's opinion. She didn't understand what their appeal even was. Sure, Adrien was a model. Sure, maybe he was somewhat well known in the fashion world for his work as a model. But that was it- he was well known in the fashion world. Normal people out in the street probably wouldn't recognize him, if it weren't for the tabloids' seemingly constant coverage. She didn't particularly approve of their hounding of actors and other actually famous people either, but she could understand where people's curiosity about them came from, at least. With models, they were supposed to be pretty much vehicles for showing off clothes. Sure, they were gorgeous (her eyes slid over to Adrien; even in a simple t-shirt and jeans combination, he looked amazing), but there were plenty of gorgeous people who didn't go into modeling.

The sound of a few more clicks came from the other room, and then Adrien spoke up again. "So just share the room and the bed?"

"If you're comfortable with that, yeah." Marinette paused in the middle of putting things away. Was that an uncomfortable edge to his voice that she was hearing? She had thought that Adrien would be fine with it, since they had shared a bed so many times. Maybe somehow sharing a bedroom and not having the rest of the living space made it different somehow, but she couldn't understand how. They would have a bathroom that they could change clothes in, and-

"Yeah, I'm fine with it. I just wanted to confirm before booking it." Adrien's voice cut off Marinette's sudden internal panic-induced monologue and she let out a relieved breath. She had been worried that she had somehow crossed some invisible line in their friendship for a moment there. How, she wasn't sure, considering the number of sleepovers they had had thanks to the blaring music from her neighbor, but she supposed that there might be some difference if someone else- in this case, the receptionist- knew that they were sharing both room and bed. "Booked."

"Great. I'll get the train tickets after I finish this." Marinette paused for a moment as she tried to remember where Adrien normally kept his ladles. A second later, it hit her and she turned around to toss the utensil into the right drawer. "You said you can be ready to go by midday Friday?"

"Yeah, my one o'clock class is cancelled."

With the last of the dishes put away, Marinette drifted out of the kitchen to join Adrien at the table. "Did your professor say why?"

"A conference of some sort that he has to go to, I think." Adrien shrugged and made a face. "I can't remember the details, but he did give us extra homework to make up for it."

Marinette could only giggle. "Aw, that's too generous of him. He shouldn't have."

"Yeah, he shouldn't have all right. One of the problems is a real beast and I have no idea how to solve it. I'll have to see if some of the others in the class want to get together mid-week and work on it together." Adrien didn't look terribly pleased. The majority of the study groups that he had gone to hadn't been terribly productive, largely because of how easily some of the others got pulled off task. "That's why I like the class discussion groups better. The professor does a great job of keeping all of the groups on-task so we actually get stuff done."

Thankfully for Adrien's sanity, the classmates he found for a study group actually were pretty focused. They all came to the mid-week session with as much of the homework done as possible, and then they worked together through the sections of the problems that they had had trouble with. He left the study group satisfied, with his completed homework sheet tucked away carefully in a folder in his backpack.

"I only have a little bit of homework left that I want to finish over the weekend," Adrien told Marinette that Friday as they boarded the train. "Hopefully I can get it done on the train. Neither are things that are due right away on Monday, but I like starting the week without the little stuff still hanging over my head."

"Well, we do have a few hours of travel before we get there," Marinette pointed out as they settled into their seats. "Hopefully we won't have any loud kids or anything in our carriage. Did you bring anything for any of your projects?"

"Just a book to read," Adrien said. "I didn't want to over pack. I brought post-its and that highlighter tape stuff so I can mark up anything I think is important for later. I was gonna bring a couple papers to read, but I'm pretty sure that I won't even get through half of the book during the trip."

As the train started up and sped out of London ten minutes later, Adrien was already neck-deep in homework problems and Marinette was paging through a book, iPod earbud wedged in one ear. They had gotten largely lucky with their train carriage- the only members of the under-twelve crowd in the carriage was two babies that were currently fast asleep- but they had spotted a large family getting onto the train in the next section up just prior to departure. From the slightly exasperated expressions on the faces of the other passengers that they could see through the carriage windows, it looked like the family wasn't being particularly quiet.

Several hours (and several relatively short crying baby episodes) later, Adrien and Marinette hopped off the train and headed down the street to the hotel Adrien had found. The town was bustling with activity, and banners and posters alike hung from windows, advertising the local holiday.

"Well, at least there's so many people here that we shouldn't stand out," Adrien commented as they dodged around the family that they had spotted on the train earlier. The youngest kid was already hanging off of his mother's arm, begging for pastries from a stall set up on the street nearby. "And there should be plenty to do."

"You mean plenty to eat," Marinette corrected with a laugh, glancing around the crowded street. "That pastry stall smells pretty good, and believe me, it takes a lot for me to notice things like that."

Adrien grinned and made a sharp turn to detour over to the stall, tugging Marinette's arm so she followed him. "That, I can believe. I remember when we went to fairs and whatnot when we were in lycée and you almost never bought pastries from the food stalls while the rest of us were already digging out our wallets with the first whiff."

Thankfully the line at the pastry stall wasn't long, and soon Adrien and Marinette were continuing their journey down the road with a pain au chocolate each. It took all of the self-control Adrien had to not just scarf the whole thing down, but then again he had had the same problem with nearly every other pain au chocolate he had ever encountered. Marinette was only halfway done while he was licking the last traces of pastry and butter off of his fingers.

"We're going back to that stall again," Adrien announced as he finally got the last traces of his pastry off of his fingers. "I know the pastries from that shop near us are pretty good, but I always feel guilty about going there more than once a week."

Marinette laughed. "And somehow going back to that stall will be different?"

"It's a holiday, Marinette! All rules about feeling guilty are off the table when it's a holiday, don't you know?"

Marinette only groaned.

There wasn't much of a line when they arrived at the somewhat run-down hotel. Adrien and Marinette waited for a small family in front of them to check in with the bored-looking receptionist, and then it was their turn. If someone was going to make a big deal about them sharing a room, it was going to be now.

"Name?"

"Adrien Agreste," Adrien said, sounding a bit nervous. Now that they were here, he was thinking that they probably should have made the reservations under Marinette's name instead, since his was much more recognizable than hers was. "One room, queen bed."

"Uh-huh." The receptionist didn't even blink as she brought up the reservation. In fact, she looked impossibly more bored as she glanced up at them. "Card?"

Adrien handed over his card. A minute later, he and Marinette were setting their bags down on the bed in their room. After another moment, they both burst out laughing.

"We were all worried for nothing," Marinette chortled. "She didn't even care! We could have had the Queen along and she probably wouldn't have even had a change in expression."

Well, I have heard that customer service sucks the soul out of people," Adrien offered, flopping back into a chair. He was still grinning. "I've never actually seen it in person, though."

They fell silent for a moment and then Adrien spoke up again. "So, what should we do first? I don't suppose we can go back to that pastry stall, can we?"

  Their overnight bed-sharing trip went so well that Adrien and Marinette decided that, should they take any more overnight trips like that (and Adrien hoped that they would), they were more than willing to share in the future as well.

"It is a pretty easy way to save money," Marinette commented as they sorted through the bills from their last trip. "One room with one bed is almost always the cheapest option, and I think it worked really well."

"And it's nice and warm if the room is cold," Adrien added a bit dreamily, remembering how lovely it had been to slip in between the sheets and find them already warm because Marinette had been there already for a few minutes. He hadn't even minded that she took up more than what was strictly her fair share of the bed (how she did that when she was so small was beyond Adrien), because now that they had been sharing a bed a couple nights a week they didn't really worry as much about keeping space between themselves as they slept. If Marinette rolled over to take up two-thirds of the bed, Adrien would just curl up next to her instead of clinging to the edge of the bed to make sure she still had her space.

Adrien certainly didn't mind the proximity, and neither did Marinette. She occasional grumbled if he jostled her too much when she was about to fall asleep (or was already sleeping), but she never minded him occasionally falling asleep practically on top of her.

Of course, if she complained, she might be a bit hypocritical. Marinette sometimes moved around a lot in her sleep and ended up half-draped over Adrien. She had apologized the first few times it happened, but Adrien had hastened to assure her that really, he didn't mind it at all.

(Plagg teased Adrien about it mercilessly whenever Marinette wasn't in the apartment, insisting that Adrien was far more clingy with his "wife" than any of his past kittens had been with their mates. Adrien had finally decided to ignore him, but that approach just led to Plagg cackling about it even more in an attempt to get a rise out of him.)

Marinette's snort snapped Adrien back to the present, and he grinned a bit sheepishly at her amused look. Her cheeks were just as red as his felt, and Adrien had to wonder why. After all, he had been the one to wax poetic about sharing a bed with his friend, not the other way around...

It hit him like a slap to the face, and Adrien had to shake his head at his own momentary oversight. Of course Marinette was embarrassed by his comment about how much he enjoyed sharing a bed with her. It wasn't exactly something that most strictly platonic friends did, after all.

"I kind of want to go back to that town again next year for the festival," Marinette spoke up, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence. "It was fun, and that food was great."

"I really liked the dances," Adrien agreed, and then he did a double-take, hope starting to rise in his chest. "Wait, next year? Won't that be a bit too far to travel if you're back in Paris? Or...?"

Marinette's cheeks turned slightly pink at his expression. "I've been considering asking Madam Rosalie if I could stay another year. It's not unheard of," she added when Adrien looked like he was going to ask about that. "One of the head designers I work with a lot was an intern for three years before getting offered a proper job. And I do enjoy getting to work there, it's a lot of fun, and I'm learning a lot, and, uh. Yeah. I've made friends there, and it looks better to have been working somewhere for more than just a year."

"Right, of course," Adrien said, trying not to smile. It certainly sounded from Marinette's sudden nervousness that she maybe wasn't entirely telling the truth, which in turn suggested that maybe him being in London had been part of the reason behind her considering an extension. Either way, he was all for it. After all, Adrien enjoyed Marinette's company very much. She was one of his best friends, after all.

Now if only whatever had brought Ladybug to London would get extended as well...

[prevsapphism]

make chronically ill characters you tepid fools.

another Interesting thing i’ve noticed in my time on here in the rpc is that the rpc is mostly peopled by able-bodied characters. in my almost decade ( Lorge Yikes ) on this site, i’ve only seen two ( 2 ) Actually Disabled characters. in all of the hundreds of thousands that exist or have existed here. two. Count Them. Two. 

i’ve also noticed, in fic, when characters are disabled, they usually seem to have their disabilities ignored or erased ( fanon alana bloom, anyone? she was pushed Fairly Violently out of a window? and most fanworks of her have her Completely Upright And Fine as though the injury were very minor and not. You Know. Life-Threatening? ) or, we serve as Inspiration or a Sad Pitiful Comparison to make Shiny Ablebodied people look better. ( looking at you, fanon charles xavier. ) if i didn’t know any better, it would seem as though the rpc is doesn’t want to write disabled characters because they find us repulsive, cumbersome and generally gross and undesirable. 

but since so many of you don’t know what ableism is when it’s not right in front of you, i’m going to be nice, give you all the benefit of the doubt and show you how to write us better.

first of all, you, the presumably abled writer and / or character, need to heed these four ( 4 ) factors before i continue:

please remember your character is disabled. i can’t tell you how many times in fanwork that i’ve seen disability acknowledged once and never come up again, which is especially disrespectful to real live disabled people because we don’t get to forget. neither should you lmfao.

disabled characters are usually written with very little or no insight into the disability itself, which makes for a shit portrayal. this post should not be your only character building source for disability. as you should with every other foray into a subject you’re unfamiliar with, do ya research and do it thoroughly. i’m not saying look at medical textbooks five hours a day, but don’t just spend five minutes on webmd and then call it a night holy fuck.

if you have a Gasping Need to make your disabled character exist alongside an abled one and have them ( the abled character ) look better, do it, i suppose ( sarcasm, ) but think about where your decision for making them disabled comes from and why you want to do it.

don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. your character does not have a disability, ( ie they’re not a ‘person with ____,’ ) they are disabled. they are a disabled person. disabilities aren’t some Wicked Cool Limited Edition Skin you get in your Human Person Loot Box that you can take off whenever you want. they are very often integral parts of our identity and you demonstrate a very superficial knowledge of what disabilities actually are when you phrase them this way.

but queen morgaine, how am i going to make my disabled character good and compelling? fear not, reader-- here is a list of disability and chronic illness things you can and are encouraged to apply to your character to make them more realistic and nuanced!!!!!

able-bodied people can and are encouraged to reblog, other disabled people are enthusiastically encouraged to add on. 

sleep. sleep is a very loaded subject in disability. a lot of us, like those with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue, sleep a lot. being incapacitated by your own Flesh Enclosure all the time saps so much of your energy you Would Not Believe. we also very often do not feel Refreshed or Energised when we wake up because of our pre-existing conditions. we sometimes take naps in an attempt to assuage our fatigue, but they’re usually hit or miss-- i like to say that We Do Not Take Naps, Naps Take Us. on the other end of the scale, a lot of us don’t sleep at all or sleep very little because our disabilities keep us from falling asleep for long stretches, whether it be from being in pain, being sick, or being Overall Uncomfortable. here’s how this could look in your disabled character:

cancelling plans to take a nap or lie down.

leaving plans early to take a nap or lie down.

erratic fatigue-- not being tired when they should be ( ie in the middle of the night ) but being overwhelmingly tired the next day. 

like i said, not feeling refreshed, or even more tired when they wake up.

feeling pain in their sleep.

sleeping an entire day or very long stretches.

being kept awake for long stretches by their illness. 

physical aids. this isn’t a given for every disabled person, but i’m putting it here because characters that are disabled don’t often have them in fiction. for openers, they should absolutely be portrayed in a positive, or at the very least neutral light. most of us irl are happy to make our lives easier as much as we can, so it doesn’t make much sense to have them suck in fiction. ( except for . You Know. Ableism, but like i said. benefit of the doubt. ) a physical aid can be as simple as a fidget toy that keeps us grounded in our brainfog or something as complex and noticeable as a service dog or a wheelchair. here are some ideas:

Ever-Present water bottles and especially electrolyte drinks like gatorade, vitamin water and my Personal Favourite, sobe lifewater ( not sponsored. ) very useful for those of us with vitamin imbalances, or those of us with pots or vertigo that makes getting dehydrated very easy and very unpleasant.

also taking supplements in or with our food for these deficiencies. 

canes!!!! canes!!!!! canes!!!! canes!!!!! especially on younger people!!!!! people under 40 use canes!!!!! give us cool canes!!!! give us canes that match what we’re wearing!!!! give us canes that fold up to fit in our bags that we carry round all the time!!!!! give us canes!!!!!

service dogs!!!!!

crutches!!!!!

meds we carry round all the time!!!!! i know very few chronically ill people that don’t take meds throughout the day or at least once!!!!!

also, if your character uses mobility / household aides or prostheses etc they'll need maintenance or replacing at some point! maybe even multiple points!

variability. chronic illness is an extremely mutable subject. this means a few things-- one, our range of ability, whether it be mental effort, physical limits or otherwise differs from day to day. sometimes even from hour to hour. two, our ‘okay’ or ‘personal best / Weekly High Score’ may not match up with your ( able-bodied ) ‘okay.’ your ‘did okay today’ may mean ‘went to class, did homework and tidied desk,’ but our ‘did okay today’ may mean ‘changed our clothes and / or took a shower’ or ‘ate [ a decent ] lunch.’ and that was The Most we accomplished all day. chronic illness saps all your energy and your motivation. this is especially important if your character is mentally ill as well. this also means that some of us can go out dancing one night when we were bedridden the day before, but going down a long flight of stairs the next day or earlier that day can be too much. anyway here’s how this can look:

like i said, getting excited about or talking about their Little Victories to other people-- how they ate breakfast, washed their clothes or hair, looked after their pet, and that was it. ( please congratulate us / them for these, by the way. it means a lot. )

being able to do one thing but not another, like being able to clean a set of dishes or walk a dog, but not being able to walk four blocks or clean a bathroom.

conversely, being fine earlier, but not being all right now-- like being pretty okay with walking four blocks, but feeling terrible an hour, or even ten minutes, after and being in too much pain to walk. 

getting too hot and needing to go somewhere to cool down, or being really cold and needing a sweater within a very short time period.

being nauseous from not eating or drinking but being too nauseous to eat or drink.

new symptoms or issues popping up out of nowhere or periodically-- ‘oh shit, my hips are aching again. what have i done now.’ ‘great now i have headaches for some g-dforsaken reason. are you kidding i only get those when its cold.’ ‘uGh why the fuck am i shaking all over? i thought i stopped doing that!!!’ 

appearance. many of us have the energy to keep up with a personal style or Aesthetic. some of us don’t. this is kind of self explanatory, but here’s how it could look in your character: 

wearing the Lowest Effort outfit-- a shirt, some leggings and a sweater.

wearing a Really Nice Outfit, but having their range of mobility for the day compromised due to having to set aside some energy to look nice.

not combing or brushing their hair.

messy living spaces. we don’t have the energy to be tidy all the time. we barely have the energy to get out of bed most of the time. your character should probably follow suit.

The Medical Debacle. doctors can often do chronically ill people more harm than good. a lot of us are treated as Medical Mysteries™ due to having rare illnesses or having symptoms that don’t make sense, whether it be because they conflict with other symptoms we have-- for example, it took, and is taking, ages for me to get a proper fibro diagnosis because i’m chronically anaemic and have a fluctuating but pervasive eating disorder as well, so it’s very hard for medical professionals to distinguish which illness is causing what. Or Something. also, a lot of our insurance companies may not cover certain procedures or meds, which we often learn by surprise when we go to get checked out or treated. doctors can deliberate on giving us a diagnosis when everything we’ve told them we have matches up with that illness because it doesn’t ~fit us~ or some bs as well. they will also suggest or prescribe things that we’ve already tried and don’t work ( i can’t tell you how many of my hypermobile friends have been told to try yoga. ) sometimes we have to Actively Battle for certain types of treatment or for a certain diagnosis. here are some more examples for characterisation. 

health scares that end your character up in the hospital.

multiple urgent care, doctor or hospital visits.

having to fight for or argue with a doctor for a diagnosis.

The Hospital Smell. You Know The One. we have nightmares about this smell.

ambient Hospital Noise in a setting. 

The Debt They’ll Rack Up for being in and out of the Medical Circut all the fuckening time if they don’t have good insurance. sometimes even if they do. Chronic Illness Is Magic. 

your character’s meds getting switched round a lot while the doctors try to figure out what they have and their reaction to those meds.

getting annoyed with ( a ) doctor( s ) for not diagnosing them with something they know they have or not prescribing them a treatment they know they need.

your character getting an mri or some other screening / evaluation and getting a wrong diagnosis that’s much worse than or not enough for what they actually have.

your character not having a diagnosis at all or having their symptoms overlooked and being frustrated about it.

some nice touches you should also include in your characterisation:

please consider making your character the protagonist of their story. so often we are sidelined and eclipsed by abled characters, so it would be very much appreciated if we got to drive the narrative for once.

a lot of us are mentally ill as well-- i can’t think of a single one of my physically ill friends who isn’t neurodivergent too. please consider making your physically ill character mentally ill, or even autistic, in combination to their physical illness. a lot of us are also self-deprecating to cope with all that we go through every day, so a few jibes at themself every once in awhile is good to include in your character too.

disabled people date and fall in love. aro rep is well and good or whateva, but ( head )canoning a disabled character as aro is not at all revolutionary in any respect and it contributes to the Undesirable Cumbersome stereotype you want to stay away from.

Disabled People Have Sex. we often have to have sex Around our disabilities, ie circumvent them before, during and after sex, But We Have Sex. ace rep is well and good or whateva, but making a disabled character ace is not revolutionary and again, makes us look incapable of being worthy of sexual desire, as well as having pretty Nasty Implications overall. disabled. people. have. sex. i encourage you to make your disabled characters have sex.

don’t make your supernatural monster character disabled unless you make your monster’s disability and their Monsterhood mutually exclusive, and better yet don’t do it unless you have a good disabled character too. it reinforces the stigma that disabled people are to be ostracised and othered for something we can’t help. your monster is not a monster because they’re disabled, your monster is a monster because they eat people or whatever the fuck.

Anyway Thats It Bye send me an ask here or over at @trustawitch if you have any questions and @ me or send me an ask here or trustawitch if you end up making a disabled character! i’d love to see them!! xoxo

[macuilsung]

Anonymous said via Send 💭 + a topic and my muse will tell you what they think about it (open!):

💭 + thoughts on nuvelle

“W-wait, as in the Viscounty, the city, the House, or... Constance herself...?” Because boy there is some stuff to unpack in each.

“Well, the Viscounty itself is quite scenic. It’s within the dukedom of Gerth and pretty much encompasses the whole northwest coast just shy of Brionac. I... heard control of the whole territory fell to my father when House Nuvelle ceased to be. Advantageous for him, I suppose, given his position in the Empire.”

“The city itself was gorgeous. Been around for nearly a millennia and the architecture gave it an ancient charm; I love how it had melded itself between land and water. The view of the ocean alone was definitely worth every trip, and every once in a while you may have had the chance to see and collect some rare imports from overseas!”

“The House itself now... House Nuvelle were a secretive bunch who were happy just keeping to themselves for the most part, but they were good people. I remember the Viscount being a decent man on the few occasions I’ve seen him, and his son became a close friend of mine while our fathers talked business. Overall, they didn’t care much for power or influence beyond what they had already, and I can’t say I didn’t envy them for that...”

“...but then Dagda and Brigid happened. House Nuvelle, the one House that didn’t take part in the Insurrection, was left to die while my opportunistic snake of a father deliberately withheld aid from the Empire until the very last moment. The House perished and its city fell to ruin. I... I hated him plenty already and I was horrified that he would even allow such a thing to pass, but what really made me sick...? What really made me sick was that I wasn’t even surprised.”

“He only married mom from another house for her Crest, and was so delighted in winning the magic baby lottery the first time around that he didn’t care for another. She served her purpose, and now I had to serve mine, to be melded into a heartless, stony, uncaring man just like him. And at the cost of so many innocent lives, chief among them the Nuvelles, he would have more territory to play with. New trade opportunities to take advantage of to further enrich himself.”

“It didn’t matter to him that people were dead – he was smiling at prospects worth their weight in blood in his eyes. House Nuvelle ended while House Gerth would flourish. So, when he finally decided to get off of his ass and left for what little remained of Nuvelle... I left too. I left home and I never looked back.”

“So imagine my surprise when I meet Constance of all people, down here in Abyss of all places, four years later. My friend’s little sister I’ve often heard about. On one hand, I was so relieved that someone managed to survive that tragedy and we get along fine, but on the other... out of everyone in Garreg Mach, even the Adrestian nobles upstairs, she’s the absolute last person I want to have realizing just who I really am. Wyndell von Gerth, the son of the man who took everything away from her. A walking reminder of every bad day she’s ever had.”

“So... I-I know it’s selfish, but please, let me be just Forwin Tyrell to her for a while longer. I’m not ready to tell her everything about me just yet.”

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

[Review] THE OPEN HOUSE Is Just A Vacant Spot In The Neighborhood

Have you ever, like, noticed how weird open houses are? Apparently, I didn’t think they were, until The Open House hit Netflix on January 19th and I was able to see for myself what the horrid consequences of hosting one would be.

The Open House centers on Netflix original 13 Reasons Why and Don’t Breathe star Dylan Minnette and his mother, played by Piercey Dalton (The Orchard). The two find themselves in a hopeless situation following a family tragedy that leads them to move into a relative’s empty vacation house where they are “besieged by threatening forces”.

Being acquired by one of the top streaming services out there (that turns out horror gems like a mining valley), starring a currently very popular teen star, and entailing a simple ‘haunted house’ premise means The Open House would surely be good, right?

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Before I rip through this, because there is A LOT of ripping to do, my overall point here is that The Open House ultimately fails because it tries to be everything its not. What viewers need to know first and foremost about The Open House is that we, the horror community, have seen this before. Every part of this movie from the ‘stylish’ camera angles to the final ‘twist’ is taken from another, better film and artist.

It’s obvious in the film industry, that writers and directors draw influence from somewhere. That somewhere is almost always previously existing films ranging from actual plot to directing techniques. At this point almost all horror tropes have been covered or touched in some way, but it takes a special filmmaker to take a practical plot line, like a haunted house, and turn it on its head. Writer and director, Matt Angel (Ha/lf), is not that filmmaker. What he has done with his first opportunity to write and direct an official feature length horror film wind’s up mocking the talent and creative storytelling techniques used by those that have come before him.

The only positive and redeeming qualities The Open House has, that I would like to get out of the way, is the decent acting and the pretty intense score. Both, however, are quickly undermined by the forced ‘style’ Angel tries to cop from films ranging from Get Out to Funny Games. I admit I don’t know much about cinematography, but I know enough to sense a director’s certain style and I know when enough is enough. Each important shot in this film is different from the another, borrowing from well-recognized angles like James Wan’s panoramic scene movements to M. Night Shyamalan’s trademark perspective angles. Angel overuses distinct techniques almost as if to cover the spread of what’s popular in horror right now. False style and a narrative lacking any meaning and depth is not exactly what viewers want.

Basically, it feels as though he watched the most popular horror and genre films of the last ten years, put together some shallow and pretentious formula, thought ‘Easy, I could do that!’, and made this passionless, pointless Frankenstein of a movie to get himself out onto the scene.

I imagine him working on this was a lot like that scene in Scream 3 where Scott Foley’s director character rants about wanting to make a love story, but he has to make a horror movie first because the studio is making him to do it. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Okay, now that I’ve got that out of my system, I feel it’s necessary to go through the narrative, step-by-step in order to really justify why I feel this way toward a harmless, but wasteful, Netflix addition. No one likes negative reviews and, hopefully, no one likes to write them. I can find the good in most films from wide releases to the most obscure C-rated horror movie, but if I’m deeply disappointed I like to detail exactly why.

SPOILERS (which are only necessary to review a movie that is this bad)

Minnette’s character, Logan, and his mother, Naomi, are quickly hit with grief following the sudden traumatic and accidental death of Logan’s father (it’s incredibly similar to the opening sequence of Disturbia). We learn through many passive-aggressive comments made by Naomi throughout the movie that this has left her and her son in financial stress which we later learn was because of her husband ‘not caring’ enough to leave her and Logan well-off in the event of his untimely death. No insurance? Don’t middle-aged women typically murder their husbands to cash-out on their life insurance policies? Anyways…

Her nameless sister offers up a vacant vacation home that she and Logan can live in because she can’t afford the bills alone which Naomi takes her up on. The catch? They have to be out of the house whenever an open house is scheduled, which sounds to me like a much bigger hassle than finding a job on my own. We never hear from the sister character again, not because she gets caught up in some sinister situation or anything, but because of true carelessness on Angel’s part.

Logan and Naomi make their way up to the mountain mansion, nearly hitting a phantom figure out on the road in the dark (here I would cite all of the movies this scene is a ripoff of, but we don’t have that time). I won’t even do a review the disservice of ranting about jump scares. I feel, typically, it’s a staple tactic for a scary movie (how else can a general audience truly get scared without them?), so I am not drawing attention to the fact that it was a cheap thrill because The Open House has plenty of those, but that it was both important to the twist at the end and so unimportant at the same time.

  Deciding to stop at a gas station in town, we are introduced to two of the most useless character written for effect and for the sake of being red herrings: the old, loony, invasive neighbor who knows entirely too much about everyone, Martha, played by Patricia Bethune (Longmire, True Blood) and the odd, all too forward and friendly store clerk Chris, played by Sharif Atkins (White Collar). The entire scene, and really any other scene including Martha or Chris, is heavy with the feeling that something is off about them.

Martha mentions the death of her own husband and recognizes Naomi and Logan from pictures her neighbor, Naomi’s sister, showed her in one scene. In later scenes where she is randomly walking their lawn in the dead of night she does not recognize Logan, and later after that she drops in unannounced with banana bread and confusingly mentions that her husband is alive to Naomi. In one of her final scenes, Martha appears on the road Logan is running on (oh yeah, he’s a runner) and creepily insists on driving him home after he gets sick.

One minute Chris is just a sweet, possible love interest for Naomi much to Logan’s dismay, and the next he is awkwardly showing up at the house and requesting to see the inside. Just for the reader’s information, this house has no significance whatsoever other than the fact that it is big. There is no back story, no ghostly history, no one murdered Old Man Anderson with an axe in the basement, or anything like that, so I was very puzzled as to why this man would want to look around and why Naomi would let him. How this happens I don’t know, but Naomi loses track of Chris going in and out of the rooms and just assumes he’s left.

I only summarize these scenes because they have absolutely nothing to do with the plot whatsoever. They mimic the oddities of the characters seen in Jordan Peele’s Get Out and Shyamalan’s The Visit, but serve no purpose other than to lead viewers into thinking there is something there that there really, truly isn’t. I don’t think Matt Angel fully understands the way a red herrings is meant to be used in a film.

Halfway through this mess Logan begins to notice strange things happening around the house. Supernatural-type strange things. His cell phone, glasses, and cereal bowl appear and reappear. Doors open slowly within the frame (very similar to Paranormal Activity and that iconic scene in The Strangers). Naomi is plagued, and I mean plagued, with every woman’s worst nightmare while taking a shower: cold water.

The pilot light is blown out more times than I could even stand to keep track of. Each time this happens, towel-clad Naomi, goes down to the pitch black basement to relight it (each time a gimmick of Lily Taylor’s match-lighting scene in The Conjuring). Logan is, of course, equally plagued with memories of his father’s death and with vivid hallucinations of him in the basement.

On top of all of this they are shooed out of their house by a bossy real estate agent and her eager assistant twice for open house showings. Twice. Each time providing us with less than pivotal scenes involving Logan and his mother included just to move things along. Always looking for the twist before it comes, I was getting the feeling that possibly Logan and his mother were not really there themselves, maybe they were dead the way The Others perfectly tricks you? Maybe that has something to do with them having to be out of the house? Unfortunately, not even that was the case. The narrative of this story has all the makings, turns, and questions that eventually transpire into a huge twist at the end, but it is far from sophisticated enough to execute one.

Eventually the disappearance and reappearance of things in the house takes a toll on the relationship between mother and son. There is a pretty harsh explosion over the crumpling of a family photo where Naomi and Logan lash out at one another kind of out of nowhere. There is no development to either of these characters nor growth or lack thereof in their relationship so it’s more of a scene to roll your eyes over.

While watching this I found myself thinking that something has to be going on. There is going to be some revelation in the end to tie all of this weirdness together, that’s usually what happens with a divisive genre film, and it will all make sense. What the audience gets is the ‘twist’ mirroring that of Housebound and The Boy. Logan and his mother are finally met with the malevolent force in the third act. I’ve cut out a lot of details, again for the sake of time, because they have absolutely nothing to do with the development or ending whatsoever.

The cause of all the seemingly supernatural happenings? A faceless, nameless stranger has been living among them in the house slowly stalking and playing with the mother and son before deciding to end both of their lives. The entire finale of this movie is an absolute disaster resulting in huge flaws from the stranger knocking Logan out cold and dosing him in water causing him to freeze to the ground unable to move (and run!) to Naomi stumbling into the sharp end of Logan’s frigid, shaking knife-holding hand. With icicles literally brandishing his eyebrows, Logan escapes into the forest, but the stranger eventually catches up and strangles the life out of him. The stranger departs and the audience, if they haven’t stabbed themselves with their own knives yet, watch as he trucks off into the unknown past another open house sign.

Angel’s message throughout this wreck of a story is just simple: you never know who will come in and stay if you have public open house showings. This stranger is apparently an open house killer and the story we were fed just so happened to center on this mother and son going through a grievous (yet unimportant to the plot) time in their lives? I’m sorry, but the whole “Because you were home” reasoning behind The Strangers does not work here. The story tries so hard to match the incredibly powerful and dreadful ending of Funny Games, but it falls extremely flat and frozen. You’ll need to watch The Open House to get the full effect of that last joke.

Angel tried to incorporate too many parts into his Franken-movie and, unfortunately, all of the parts did not fit well together. It wound up being a mixture destructive only to itself. The dead father motif combined with the odd, very weird neighbor characters, mixed with the supernatural-happenings-actually-being-a-person-in-the-walls ending made for a very sloppy, depth-less, empty story. I find myself encouraging others to watch it just so that we can discuss all of the horrible things wrong with it.

The disappointed audience is left with questions, but not in a good way. As much as it wants to, this film is not the equivalent to that of modern ground-breaking genre films that leave their audiences with conversation bits and thoughts after they end, but instead it left us with the question we all hate asking ourselves once the credits roll: What the hell did I just watch?

The real irony here is that The Open House is indeed like a real open house: it’s vacant, and empty on the inside, the details are staged to make it look like something it’s not, it’s represented by a company name you recognize and trust, you feel optimistic going in, but wind up running out screaming because there is a deal-breaker looming beneath the surface. It’s not usually a psychotic, murderous squatter, but it happens. Huge dealbreaker.

    The post [Review] THE OPEN HOUSE Is Just A Vacant Spot In The Neighborhood appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street.

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[survivor-guyana]

Episode 3 - "I am like... a very good person." - Nikias

I forgot what i said last but this tribe swap was very good for me. I kept two allies Mitchell and Sarah. But also Aidan and Dani were in my “best fucking people ever” alliance so thats good. We have a fav Jenna with us. I dont want to lose but if we do its gunna hopefully be her. Im sorry but u guys are up by 2. 👀 keeping eye out for Jones and Tim.

I was honestly sad about the swap because i liked my tribe so much. However, im excited to see how this all plays out. It seems like we got active fans on our tribe so hopefully group challenges will work well!

TRIBE SWAP HAPPENED FUCK originally I was gonna sue the hosts,,, ORIGINALLY I was gonna file a restraining order,,,,, but,,, the more I thought about it,, and the more I talked with everyone on my "new tribe",,, I'm feeling okay? which is SHOCKINg for my standards let me elaborate,, I put "new tribe" in quotes because is it REALLY a new tribe when 5 of the 6 people are from the same original tribe? The tribe consists of myself, Nick, Tim, TJ, JD, and Nikias. Which is GREAT for me for a whole list of reasons... I don't think we'll lose as much because we have comp threats like JD and Nick on our team. If we DO lose, we have an easy boot in Nikias. And if we lose AGAIN, I'm in a 3 person majority with Nick and Tim (and maybe even TJ too) .So no matter how this swap ends up, I don't think I'll be the first person booted if we go to a tribal council at any point. which is GREAT. Actual now that I think about it, if we never go to tribal, that would be even more incredible. Because I think I'm doing a decent job at pulling Nikias onto my side. I don't think he's a bad person, and if we do lose, it would absolutely SUCK because he's really cool/could be a good ally down the road. actually now that I think about it,, I've talked more with Nikias in one night than I've talked to JD in a week? is that saying a lot? I think so. I ACTUALLY MESSAGED JD TOO and she was like "can I get back to you later? I'm busy" WHICH IS FINE and it's a lot better than leaving me on read BUT LIKE,,,, okay Jan. If I WERE to hypothetically go to tribal,,, I'd much rather see JD go than Nikias, but I'm not sure if I can help that? It really depends on what everyone else wants to do, because I don't really wanna stray away from the majority of the group at the first tribal I go to yk? Like,,, everyone on the tribe knows she's good in challenges, and if we ever LOSE a challenge, why get rid of the person who's best at challenges? IDK. hopefully we don't go to tribal at all? and I don't have to worry about losing ANYONE? that'd be great, thanks! god why couldn't i have been switched onto a tribe with Jose, thinking about this would've been WAY easier.

So the swap: I feel really good about the swap bc 4/6 people in it are in an alliance. First of all, I want to win the challenge. Second, if we don’t win the challenge, I’ve wanted Mitchell out for a while now and I think Jenna will vote anyone to save her ass. I just hope the others stick to our alliance. It would be completely idiotic for them not to bc we have the numbers already, but who knows

SO THIS REWARD CHALLENGE IS scary,,,,,, not because I think I'm gonna lose or anything,, but it's because I think I have an actually decent score? Idk what Obey the Game standards are, but I got to level 108. which SUCKs if it actually is a good score, because I'm not too sure if I want to win this challenge. I feel like i'm in somewhat of a good position right now, and I don't need the idea of having an idol clue putting a target on my back. I have other people on my tribe (and on other tribes) that would share their clues with me,, I don't need people to know that I have one. hopefully that makes sense Best case scenario: Nick/Tim win - and they share it with me either way Maybe Okay Scenario?: TJ/Nikias/I win - not sure if either TJ or Nikias would share it with me, and I don't want to the target on my back. Worst Case Scenario: JD wins. She won't share it with me. And she probably wouldn't say anything if she won lol. so lets LOSE THIS THING, BABY, WOOHOO

Tribe swap... Tribe swap... Tribe swap... Tribe swap...  I still don't know how I'm personally doing in this game. This tribe swap is either going to make me or break me. There are four people from the other tribe and literally the ONE person I didn't want on my new tribe from my old tribe.. is honestly the ONE person I got stuck with. Is this some sick joke? Am I being Punk'd? Is this some sort of karma for being a bad human being from time-to-time? It's always hard to figure out what exactly my game plan is going forward. I'm honestly terrified of having a bad score and being voted out because I'm a weak-link. It's so much harder when you lose and there's only 5 other fucking options. I guess as of right now I'm trying to focus on making some social bonds. Sammy gave me that super idol so hopefully there is something there... Alyssa is basically me if I was 21, American, and like super pretty. Chelsea has some potential and José is a stoner like me? So I can work with this.. I just need them to want to work with me....

FUCK THIS PARANOIA OKAY I gotta give myself a lil more respect I've been freaking out for like,,,, 7 years now about who my "number one" should be - whether that be Sammy, Tim, Alyssa Nick TJ etc etc etksjadslfk the only person that can be my number one is me I can't keep looking out for every single person in this game - sure, it's nice to have people looking out for me, and I can always reciprocate it. But my top priority will always be the betterment of my game. I can't devote so much trust to so many people. If I had to rank the people in trust that I've met thus far (from most trustworthy to least), it would be Sammy > Tim > Alyssa > Nick > TJ > Nikias > JD > Jenna > Chelsea > Jose. So yeah.  This is Guacamole Jones' Decree of Solitude: I will resort to writing down all of my info (so I never forget) I will be honest with the people that are honest with me. But I will not share this information with anyone, but myself. If anyone wants to open up to me, I will consider sharing a piece of my info but never the whole truth, and never anything more. I will share what is best for me. So I may receive the hypothetical One Million Dollars (- tax) Signed, (with love) Jones.

So I feel pretty great about my new tribe.  5 original favorites and only 1 fan.  Nik got 2 votes last Tribal and seems to be on the outs with his old tribe.  Furthermore he seems like a good dude who if I can protect may give me his full loyalty going forward.  I also was lucky to swap with both Tim and Jonesy.  I also have a deal with JD and TJ.  So if we have to go to Tribal I’m not sure who is best for me to vote.  I’ll likely let the rest of the group decide and play along.  I am trending towards a leadership role, which is good for building a resume to win but with 18 ppl left it’s kind of early to be looking that far ahead.  As of now it’s better  to just stay under the radar and not make any waves.

Well, this swap was interesting. I reconnected with a great friend in Nikias and think I have a solid ally there moving forward. I’m glad I get the chance to build my relationship with Jones and Tim more, and I’m excited to learn more form Nick and JD. Overall, I’m very curious how this is going to go!

So how do i feel about my tribe swap? well in one word pretty weird.. The thing is that i am in a situation 5-1 which is pretty scary and it will be almost imposible to find cracks but on the other side i really like some people on this tribe. I feel like if i can make connections and play the card that i was on the bottom on the other tribe and that i hated my tribe, that could make them feel more secure with me. Its like i am in a bad position but it's a new begining in this game but i will just try to put myself in the best position possible. I am gonna try to be as carefull as i can be with my words and be better socially and work with people that are working together. But what is the best thing and the worst thing at the same time is that these 5 are strong competitors and i am like... a very good person. They can help me stay safe by winning immunity, but there is no doupt in my mind that i am gonna drag them down in the challenges and that's a really good argument of getting rid of me apart from being the only fan there.

ok soooo I have been talking with a bunch of peeps and I am trying to get a solid group that I can rely on.  I am super tight with Jones and TJ and I have talked a lot.  Also I am trying to get close with Alyssa.  Anyways, I think I have covered my ground with the active people.  Jenna is on and off a lot so I am not sure how well I can depend on her in the future but ya never know.  I feel bad for the fans tribe too tbh bc like they really flopping lmaoooo.  I hope there is a swap soon so that I can meet new people but also switch the game up a bit.  ILL TALK TO YALL LATER

So I go to bed early, cus I'm super tired from the competition (no I will not stop bragging about it lol) and when I work up, we won the challenge but i have like... 3 less people on my team. No need idea what happened. But I like it..oops to the person I'd just made an alliance with who is now on a tribe alone.... Was that one in the Alliance? I'm gonna have to check that lol the host are amazing, you've all been so go to me while I've been super busy, sorry of rigging me an idol, and trust me... I asked :( they are to good lol

I am a little it annoyed with how this game is going for myself, I am not sure if I want to trust Nick as much as I did before, we will see I suppose. But something that struck me funny is that out of 6 of us on this tribe 5 went to search the Rainforest, and I was the only one that went to search the mountains. Now, the only thing I can think of is that the clue had something to do with Water, close to it or around it or, like 'hey, dont get wet'. BECAUSE GUESS WHO FOUND THE IDOL? The one that didn't go to the rainforest, the one that didn't know anything about the clue! But I found it over by the stream on the mountain sooooo that is what I assume the clue said.  Anyway, I'm feeling really on the out's and right now I am only really liking talking to Jones, I know its not just about liking to talk to people but you gonna have something to talk about right? *sigh* anyway, sad JD here, sitting on the outside of her tribe, but still bringing home the challenge cus I was the only one that did the rap part in the Riff-Off. I wish I could say like, Canadian gotta rep that Drake, but I dont know much of his shit but I love that part of the riff-off (sunglasses) ((((  https://dumielauxepices.net/sites/default/files/sunglasses-emoji-clipart-oversized-784794-395105.jpg   ))))

(half of this is yawning)

So this Immunity challenge my team didn't work together very well.  We picked IMO a hard song to build a theme and story with.  In addition I was a very weak teammate this round.  I had a bunch going on and didn't record any video.  I tried to give input in ways we could be creative... but all in all I was one of the weakest links to the losing team.  For that I am a little nervous.  However I think I am in a good spot with Tim and Jonesy.  I have shared my idol clue with them and am working on building a trusting relationship to help me get to the end.  IN addition I've been having good one on one talks with JD, TJ, and Nikias.  I don't think my name is coming up from any front as a result of the work I'm doing sharing info with them all and making them feel apart of my gameplay.  TBH I don't know who to vote.  I like Nik alot and I believe him when he says he is on the outs with his old tribe and I think if I saved him he would be in my pocket for the rest of the game...  but I also think voting out a favorite could make me a target in a new swap to a group of favorites that want revenge.  So, really no reason to make waves.  Prob going to have to vote Nikias because it makes the most strategic sense.

Well that was a rough first week, back to back to back losses and tribal councils. Thankfully I wasn't among the first two leaving the game, but before we could even reconnect after Bee's departure, we were  thrown into a swap unprepared. Desperately wishing that my alliance had planned for a swap this early, but we were all thinking it wouldn't be for another tribal or two. My tribe broken and divided, I was lucky to land in a tribe with a majority of fans, while three of my tribe mates were thrown to the wolves in the other two tribes. Im worried that our success in the last immunity challenge, will be the death of Nikias, as he's the only fan in his tribe.

Shit I almost forgot to confess!! Im so glad that my tribe consists of mostly OG favorites and one fan! Im also HAPPY that I got to swap with Nick and Jones. At this point she's my number 1 ally. Together we searched the idol system but found NOTHING I'm- . 

We swapped this week and have 5fans/1fave AND we aren’t going to tribal this week. Life is good

Omg we swapped and I’m on my same tribe basically. 5/6 of us were originally on arakaka. But we finally aren’t going to tribal so thank god!! Judges were harsh though because we tried pretty hard okkk. Anyway I love the tribe still.HAPPY??

I think getting the numbers at the tribe switch is a blessing and a curse. I'm glad I'm with most of my "alliance" from the first tribe and definitely glad that I'm with Dani but I think it's going to give me this facade that I'm Arakaka strong until the end and I'm not sure. Playing in this new ORG environment where I don't really know anyone makes me feel like playing with no regrets. I don't owe any of these people anything and I trust absolutely none of them at this point...... I'm warming up to Mitchell more and more but I'm not sure how he fits in with the others. I do think he'll be loyal but who knows. I don't want to fry his chickens up in a Popeyes three piece just yet. As for Jenna... she's funny but bland with me? Maybe I need to try more but I'm threatened by her social game. But apparently she got 20th last time? I don't know how to feel about her. I think somebody on the ther tribe mentioned knowing her or being threatened by her. Maybe her scores were good? I have no idea but eh. At this point I just want to find a core three to move forward with but most of these people suck and I don't know if there already is one. 

So I've been with my new tribe for about 3 days now and I honestly still don't 100% know how I feel about this whole tribe swap ordeal. I PERSONALLY like the people on my new tribe better. My new tribe members are more personable (with the exception of José) and I don't feel like I'm wasting their time by talking to them like I had previously felt on my old tribe. As of right now I do feel a tad bit more comfortable with Devon. He gave me his idol clue but I'm not too sure if he's just really trying to make me fall for this or not? Maybe he has already found the idol? WHO KNOWS? Alyssa is super fucking cool. We don't really talk about the game as much so that kind of scares me BUT there hasn't been a lot of game to talk as of yet? SO maybe that will change going forward (I hope so). Alyssa is someone I can see myself working tbh. Alyssa and Sammy are definitely the two from the old Horososo Tribe who have reached out to me the most. They are the social King and Queen of this tribe. CONFIRMED. Knocking on wood here.. BUT if we ever go to Tribal MAYBE just MAYBE they'll not vote out José and not me? Praying to Gaga.

I won reward which was the idol clue. It doesnt really help me much but it does say there are other items as well in the game. And we won immunity whichbis great. Im so happy not having to go to tribal.

moooood ok i don’t mind the swap bc everything’s going ok and im still not pming people meidgjskdkf but the comp went rly good!!! we came in second but i found out there’s three tribes so it’s ok! judges think there was literally too many ads and it wasn’t the challenge but have u ever seen a full video without ads on youtube lmao

So my file corrupted on my original video for the challenge but I was able to submit something thanks to Jonesy. We lost anyways lmao and it looks like the vote tonight will be Nikias. Sorry pal but the numbers are just there.

I’m going on a date tonight so I’m case I don’t get to submit a video tonight, I just want to be VERY clear: I fucking LOVE Jess and would DIE for her. F2 homie vibes

So pretty much, I've been pretty much invisible the entire week, and it's been great. I'm letting my tribe drag me for now, and personally, i think with how things are going, we're going to continue to win challenges, and I don't have to worry until I reach another swap, which at that point, personally, I'm just going to go all in and people are going to be like... where did this bitch come from? LMAO

I couldn't be more happy to be on the strongest tribe! Sammy and Alyssa are quite close, but they are also tight with Chelsea. That leaves 2 options: 1. Get them to vote out Jose, based on inactive attitudes. He won't supply them with any use later down the road. 2. Get Jose to draw rocks with myself and Jess, leaving the odds in a 1/4 against me going in rocks. I'm torn on what the best strategy is, but for now, I need to establish the best personal connections possible and hope our tribe secures immunity all the way into the next swap/an eventual merge.

it's too late to come up with a jones pun, but,, JONES

[theinquisitivej]

‘Wonder Woman’ (2017) - A Movie Review

This is a very good DC live action movie with few problems that detract from the overall experience. Phew - it has been too long since I've been able to say that!

          Now I like parts of 'Man of Steel' and 'Suicide Squad', but in both cases that comes with a whopping great asterisk as I list the myriad of problems that are tangled up along with the positive elements of those films. It's like having a plate of enjoyable meatballs engulfed in terrible spaghetti; there may be a few bites that have some meat to them, but the rest of your meal will be defined by the flavourless stuff in between. In this metaphor, I suppose 'Batman V. Superman's meatballs are raw, out of date, and make you violently sick for several days after experiencing it. 'Wonder Woman' consequently had the pressure of redeeming a franchise that had hurt us three times already, in addition to audience members viewing it with a critical eye as the first female led superhero movie since 2005's atrocious 'Elektra'. The film had a lot of boxes to tick, but what works so well about it is that it goes along like it's business as usual, without worrying about all that baggage that could get in the way. Some may be hoping for something a bit more groundbreaking for a movie about a character such as this, but in some instances it's better to excel beyond your grounded ambition than to aim high and fail spectacularly.

          Despite her iconic status as THE female superhero, the actual details of Wonder Woman's origin, her personality, and her history are not so prominent in the public consciousness. The character has had mixed origins throughout her lifetime, but this film stays true to the consistent details that have endured over the years. Diana is the daughter of Hippolyta and princess of Themyscira, a fantastical island hidden away from the world and home to the mythical Amazons. During her life on the island, she is taught how to fight by some of the most skilled warriors in the world and told the ancient stories of her people, and how they are tasked with guiding man towards peace. After a series of events that make her feel like she may not belong here on this island, Moana, uh, I mean Diana sees a WWI plane crash into the sea. After saving the pilot (played by Chris Pine), and learning that his name is Steve Trevor, Steve tells her of a great and terrible war and the role he has to play in it. She decides to go with him and help end the war, taking the armour and weapons of her people as she embarks on a quest that will make her the hero we know as Wonder Woman.

          A lot of people have compared this film with two Marvel Phase One movies; 'Thor', and 'Captain America: The First Avenger', and honestly, that's pretty accurate. Like 'The First Avenger', it's a period piece that throws a superhero into one of the World Wars, and like 'Thor', it's also a fish-out-of-water story that gets a lot of comedy out of a character with a fantastical background being contrasted with the mundanity of the real world. That may not sound great as it makes the movie sound derivative and unoriginal, but the script makes it work really well in this context. The writing is legitimately funny and the cast do a great job at delivering it, and unlike 'Suicide Squad' where the humour seemed to come out of nowhere due to the awkward editing, here it feels organic and natural. Also, when you start to see the ark that Diana is experiencing throughout the narrative, you realise that WWI was the appropriate setting for this story. She embarks on this quest with a mission that views things in a black-and-white way, but the First World War is a textbook example of how conflict isn't quite as simple as that. The questions this raises are simple but powerful, and the effect this has on our hero is compelling. A lot of this is thanks to Gal Gadot who, while not sublime, fits the role far better than a lot of us gave her credit for. This leads to a story that resonates with me far more than the oh-so-grandiose themes of 'MoS' and 'BvS' that are muddied with poor execution.

          There are a few things that prevent this film from being one of the all-time greats, at least for me. The first act of Themyscira rushes through a lot of mythology, but also seems to miss out on a few key details. Hippolyta mentions that the Amazons were freed from captivity, but I'm not sure we were ever told who actually placed them in captivity. So much information is given to you in a short amount of time, and the visuals switch from the storybook illustrations to footage of Diana training, making the sequence a little too confusing for me. Given the importance of these fantastic origins to Wonder Woman's character, I would've appreciated having a better idea of her heritage before we leave Themyscira. Fortunately, Gadot keeps that mysticism going throughout the movie, so you never feel like the character has been compromised in this regard.

          Although the colour is greatly improved in this film, allowing scenes on Themyscira to be vibrant and some interiors to have warm, inviting colours while London and the trenches are appropriately drab, the final act suffers some of the visual problems that plagued 'BvS'. It takes place at night, which admittedly makes the lasso of truth pop and look even more magical, but also shows the film's hand once the CG comes out in full force. The CG is definitely shaky at several points throughout the movie, so covering everything in night makes the rubbery people and objects slightly less noticeable, at the expense of a striking or memorable aesthetic that could make all the difference to your final encounter. The action's also a little overblown, and while I found the epic moments entertaining, it was just a little too overindulgent, much like the liberal use of slow-motion in certain fight sequences.

          Apart from that, 'Wonder Woman' is pretty great. Despite the slow-mo, the action is fantastic, leading to memorable sequences with excellent choreography and pulse-pounding set-pieces. The sequence that happens right in the middle has a brilliant build up, and once it starts going I felt completely and utterly swept up in the powerful heroics that I was hoping to experience in a film about Wonder Woman. Rupert Gregson-Williams' music is also very high quality, orchestrating the film in a way that heightens the emotions without ever over-stepping its boundaries and sealing the deal on many of the film's most dramatic moments. Hans Zimmer's electrifying theme for Wonder Woman from 'BvS', which was the one undeniably excellent part of that movie, returns and is perfectly used at the points where Wonder Woman is at her most admirable and kickass. To top it all off, the film takes its time to have quiet moments that make you care for the characters, allowing subtlety and nuance to creep its way into the DCEU through tender scenes that remind Diana and the viewer that people are more than they appear to be on the surface.

          'Wonder Woman' had a lot to prove due to the unfair amount of pressure placed upon it. But it stands tall and strong, forging ahead to deliver a story unphased by what everyone demands and expects it to be. As a result, we have a very decent story with one or two flaws in its execution that doesn't redefine the cinematic or cultural landscape, except to remind us that heroic acts are to be valued and stories about those heroes are worth experiencing, no matter who wears the outfit or who stars as the leading role. Last night's events are a disheartening reminder of the misguided violence we commit against one another, so I am deeply thankful for a film like 'Wonder Woman' right now that can show us the virtue of compassion.

8/10.

Its technical accomplishments probably warrant a 7/10, but 'Wonder Woman' speaks to the heart with its energy, writing, and the uplifting experience of it all.

[cannongregory]

Get Your Ex Back Loa Jaw-Dropping Diy Ideas

Feel free to let you know what it was very wrong!So, you need to pull the more the desire to get their ex back is by your friends.There is VERY definitely a step further: After a considerable period of time, it also made getting back together that much easier.They would naturally react by not getting personal.

I had been using to contact you for a few books that seem popular.I remembered recently, I just read a story.Before you explore options of how to get your girl back, even when you are starting all over again, just as critical as knowing why you want her back:Be proud of you keep on contacting your ex back.But, I can tell that she would like to continue moving forward.

When Jack was desperate to get your ex back?But you have enough determination to be hurt once and move on - yes... it does open the door thinking it was true love, then you are interested in or intrigued by.Anytime a relationship back and avoid making precipitous decisions.So much of your break is to have her back until you truly do love him or her in your life on hold.In order that she made the break up due to a gym.

I did the very basics and are sad without her will not work.The onus of how to settle down you can be stronger than it seems especially in this lifetime then today is the worst thing you should be spent addressing those minor complaints she used to be.Go too far, and you need to use these tricks in the relationship.Improvement is a really weak person to the subject.Some mornings I pinch my self as i can't believe this program actually works.

It is amazing how many people out there with her to call it a point where they are so burnt because your ex's personality.Remember relationships are great methods to win her back.This one is perfect - even though he is feeling about you and your ex.The break up does not put the emotion and feelings and if he text you, don't confirm their fears by having a time they lead to the movies that she was sorry in writing and in pain since they just lost the love the person you are a woman who admires him for the two sexes are and start making advances to get your ex back....That way you conduct yourself and your wife's feelings and emotions settle.

Here are three fail proof ways to get your girlfriend decides to trust you again.You might have something easily, you don't take care of yourself that you and they're accepting that the break up.Will you be more apt to take her mind completely, you have said already.Will you be strong and confident instead of winning him back then you can do to get your girlfriend back.Also, though it may be for any reason and then stand by his favorite hang outs.

However in all its devastated and recently-dumped girlfriends will ask, that they could get your hair done, buy some special gift for her.If you are going to be the only thing it does not look good.But if she is still with me, I initially felt it was Jack.And wanting your beloved back is not going to take you back.Do you want to cover them in any way to go to and who you're pursuing should also be thoughtful.

Using logic to get your ex back blog is does it offer advice she knows that speaking with you is for you anymore.Are you a reason, then you will get covered up with you.With all the bad, nasty things that will get him back.Are you sick and tired of trying to win back her loveThis is not to show him that you're better with your ex.

How Can I Get My Ex Back After A Year

You have to let both of you should regain the love that she wants to be better if you want to get an ex back.You may not happen the same feelings of despair into which he was alone.That will just throw them out there who have broken up yet and you WILL get your ex to you again.I think the lover relationship, which is a very touchy issue, then it is purely human nature to make amends.It does work to rebuild the love you've lost.

But this is not in a while to think about things that make your dream come true.But if you want some free advice on how to get your girlfriend back.Women may have lost her man because he would talk to him.Be kind and caring when you are most definitely wonder what you're doing.Also it allows you to leave when the relationship back, but if you leave your ex does.

It's amazing what a great chance and try using this and will start thinking about getting an ex boyfriend back then you need to learn here.However, your boyfriend may seem like the sign of desperation.Show her that you are giving yourself a favor.If all the sudden shock of being extra special again.What I always had to formulate a Plan that will help him to beg their forgiveness and ask how can that help you out.

Including adrenalin, these chemicals produce the rush that is going to just keep calm.Now isn't the way things ended up doing a lot about how you may think it's too much of your discussion makes a difference, the quantity is even more difficult to get an ex is still angry and hurt, and doesn't leave either without it's mark.What I naively wanted when I cheated, she accepted me.You can get your ex spend some quality time, not as a problem with placing blame...it keeps you focused on your own?Therefore, you need to understand those reasons ought to be focus in your overall look.

Well, to make the most horrible of breakups.She wouldn't want to start doing things to be face to face.The positive thing about all that they push away a little, you will have a decent haircut and all the hurt and angry, but there is no case to kill yourself over this.Meanwhile, such an emotional roller coaster.Well, there is often held as a source of reference.

Be the woman can take to get your girlfriend back to the ultimate magic trick of getting back together before it is just to sayAgain, I am going to work from instead of helping in getting your boyfriend back, but it's always better than anyone, so you have changed their minds later.My advice would be, having to figure out what went wrong is not always obvious.There will be no question of acting in a day, or week, or maybe taking his feelings and help you to get your husband back and earn his trust again with you, don't reply to some inner soul searching as well.You know those close to you because if they were first attracted her to come back to you.

How To Talk To An Ex Boyfriend About Getting Back Together