#Justin bieber fan fiction

[bl00dst41ned]

•·.·''·.·• snooze •·.·''·.·•

pairing: justin bieber x sza

summary: in which two superstars announce their relationship to the world

author's note: this music video did something to me, i needed to do this. so Hailey is not the picture, no Jelena (the relationship is DONE), SZA is not a pathological liar here, just vibes. (no Hailey slander or Hailey vs Selena debate allowed. Again, just vibes)

word count: 584

[📍64th Annual Grammy Awards]

“And the Grammy goes to…” Avril Lavigne spoke to the microphone before opening the envelope and reading the names

“Kiss Me More, Doja Cat featuring SZA”

The beautiful black woman walked up to the stage walking as slowly as possible since Doja had taken a toilet break at the wrong time. The both of them gave a little speech before going back to sit down.

The ceremony ended and all the celebrities stood up, going to a private space to leave. As she left the room, her eyes came in contact with a certain someone’s eyes. As if they had had a conversation through their irises, he left the room, Solana following him discreetly to a dark hallway.

“What are we doing he-” She was cut off by some hands wrapping around her waist.

“J, someone could see us” Solana informed constantly looking around to see if anyone was there.

“But they’re not here right now”

His tattooed hand grabbed her jaw, bringing their faces closer until their lips collided. Her arms surrounded his neck as their heads tilted, deepening their kiss. Minutes into them making out, she softly pulled him away, laughing at his frustration.

“Wait at least until we’re back to the hotel” Solana completely got away from his grip. “Can’t risk seeing us on tomorrow’s front pages”

“Imagine: SZA and Justin Bieber caught doing it at the Grammys”

Justin and Solana had met at a celebrity birthday party years ago. They grew friends as they healed from past relationships, helping one another. It all changed when Justin invited her for a date at his house since they didn’t want to be seen in public. She gladly accepted, leading to them spending the night talking, a glass of alcohol in their hands. Months after, they officialized their relationship, choosing to keep it private. To the public, Solana was SZA, this voluptuous woman, talented singer and Justin, the world’s favorite it boy.

“Yeah, can’t let this happen”

“I have to congratulate you on your Grammy though” He sent her a smirk as she avoided eye contact.

“Guess you’ll have to wait, babe”

Solana walked off going back to her team and preparing to leave.

✼�� ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

[📍Hotel]

Solana just got back from the after-party. She entered her hotel room and immediately kicked her heels off. She fell flat on her bed before hearing the door open. A smile appeared, already knowing who it was.

Justin lay down on the bed as Solana, got on top of him, straddling him.

He didn’t waste any time to kiss her, ready to spend the night close to her.

[📍Studio]

Solana sat in her studio listening to different instrumentals. None of them inspired her anything, resulting in her scrolling on Instagram, barely concentrating on her music. A notification popped, which drew her attention.

JB

I just had a dream about u

Sol

And what happened?

JB

can’t text you that 😏

Solana liked his text before finally noticing the beat that was playing.

“Hey, put that on repeat, I like that one” She spoke to her engineer as he did so. She took her notepad and a pen to write lyrics.

I can’t lose when I’m with you

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

[Social Media]

justinbieber

1,842,301 likes

justinbieber my girl >>>>

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

BREAKING: Singers SZA & Justin Bieber announce relationship with kiss in new music video

[Snooze music video]

sza

sza how can i snooze <3 mv out now

like, repost and suggest if you want (hope you enjoyed it)

header and pics from pinterest, gif by @low-and-beho1d and jb pic by @maleness-addict

masterlist for more

[leavememorieshere]

Has anyone heard from Bertram?

[augustconversations]

Attention!

Hi, I received a message a couple of days ago for a specific request. I’ve lost that message. I have no idea where it went. It was a request about Justin and Selena Gomez. If you’re that person and so happen to see this, I apologize, but I’m not taking requests as stated in my bio. I’m not sure when or even if I will take requests, but if I ever do, then I will change my bio and open up a request form, which will be linked in my bio. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for understanding <3 

[multifandomworldsposts]

ABOUT ME + WHO I WRITE ABOUT + MASTERLIST 🪩🫶🏻

my name is cassy, my pronouns is she/her, i’m a fan of a bunch of humans including fictional humans :))

WHO I WRITE ABOUT

Elvis Presley (& his characters)

Austin Butler (& his characters)

Top Gun Maverick

Teen Wolf

Top Gun

The Vampire Diaries

Outerbanks

The Outsiders

Harry Styles

Shawn Mendes

DC

Marvel

80s/90s actors (ur choice)

Justin Bieber

One Direction

5 Seconds of Summer

Sam & Colby

Big Time Rush

Saved By The Bell

beverly hills, 90210

my life with the walter boys

Harry Potter (characters)

🫶🏻 MASTERLIST 🫶🏻

🎃🕷️ Kinktober 2023 ☠️👻

❄️🧤Kinkmas 2023 ☃️🛷

🧤🧣Kinkmas 2024 ❄️🎄

OuterBanks 🌴🐚

The Night We Met - JJ Maybank

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

That Damn Cadillac - Rafe Cameron

POV: ur dating Pope Hayward

dating jj maybank would include…

taking care of him - JJ Maybank

dating John B would include....

Our Little Secret - JJ Maybank

POV: ur dating JJ Maybank

You're The Love Of My Life - Pope Hayward

At The Beach House - Rafe Cameron

DC & MARVEL 🗡️

Love Story - Aquaman

Austin Butler 😍

Trouble - Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

We Met In Tampa - Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7

POV: ur dating Austin Butler

fais moi l’amour - Pt. 1

Top Gun/Maverick 🛩️😎🤎

The Pilot I Fell In Love With - Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky

Maverick’s Assistant - Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw

POV: ur dating Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

POV: ur dating Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Champagne & Sunshine - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Shawn Mendes 🎸

Confession

because i liked a boy

Teen Wolf 🐺

POV: ur dating Isacc Lahey

POV: ur dating Stiles Stilinski

The Outsiders 🚬

POV: ur dating Ponyboy Curtis

POV: ur dating Dallas Winston

Elvis Presley 🎸🥰

My Manager's Daughter

Youtubers ▶️♥️

POV: ur dating Colby Brock

finally meeting - Colby Brock

Harry Styles 🫶🏻🩷

POV: ur dating Harry Styles

Louis Tomlinson 🖤

POV: ur dating Louis Tomlinson

Football Players 🏈⭐️

Victory Win - Joe Burrow

[whooiew]

KAFSANT FANFICTION!!!!!

GRAHHHHHHHHH A FRIEND WROTE A KAFKA SNOWSANT ARKNIGHTS FAN FICTION, GO READ IT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

kicking my legs around like a giddy teenage girl listening to a recorded message of Justin Bieber back in the 2010s

[sandwich-the-cat]

What are your favorite things/takes about fanfiction? (suggestions for a talkshow!!) Please help

my friend and I are starting a talk show on our college radio station about fanfiction.

we, of course, are lovers of fanfiction and fandom culture, but we’ve been having a hard time coming up with topics because…. we have such different tastes!

I grew up on here and scrolling through ff.net before i discovered ao3, i was a childhood superwholock fan and watched a lot of anime. more recently I am a huge fan of star trek and have been reading a lot of k/s. i never read xReaders or things with celebrities. (no hate of course, i just am drawn to transformative works with fictional characters) (mainly wlw mlm and gen)

my co-host on the other hand grew up reading things like Justin bieber gets ariana grande pregnant xreaders. i think she reads more things with celebrities and either het or lesbian ships.

like she was reading draco/hermione and i was reading drarry in middle school. there’s a link there but it is rife with tension.

honestly it’s like being introduced to a whole new world of fandom! but we kinda have no common experiences. but i feel like this combo gives us the ability to cover a lot of ground.

anyway! if you were to have or listen to a talk show about fanfiction what would you want to talk about? we are working on a syllabus so please comment/repost with your suggestions!!!

[anchorandrope]

Yahoo! is editing old articles about 1D, louis and harry. i noticed this yesterday in only two of them, but now they are A LOT. here are some pics that show they are being edited, they also appear on top when you search with the "published on the past 24 hours" tools on different web browsers, they also show the "edited" tag. more about this here.

Note: the second article and the fourth article that appears in the first picture are new (july 15, 2024) and they talk about euros! but below im listing some old edited ones.

Headlines of the articles they edited:

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson responds to Harry Styles gay fan fiction (posted july 2, 2019)

Harry Styles reminisces on One Direction days (posted july 2, 2024)

Niall Horan speaks out on Harry Styles' sexual assault (posted october 25, 2017)

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson Reveals Why Harry Styles' Success Initially Bothered Him (posted november 9, 2022)

Harry Styles Fuels Gay Rumours After Calling Patrick Dempsey 'Outrageously Handsome And Steamy' (posted november 27, 2014)

One Direction’s Security Aren’t Allowed To Touch Rainbow Bondage Bear (posted october 13, 2015)

One Direction get some Bondi Ink (posted november 28, 2014)

One Direction look hot covered with kisses, team up with Justin Bieber in the studio (posted april 6, 2012)

Here's Why Simon Cowell's Latest Comments On One Direction's Success Are Not Going Down Super Well (posted june 5, 2024)

Zayn Malik And Liam Payne’s Twitter Exchange On One Direction’s Five Year Anniversary Is Everything (posted july 24, 2015)

Simon Cowell launches search for 'new One Direction' (posted june 5, 2024)

[throne-for-queens]

"whenever i see mgk smoking, i wonder when he'll try to quit smoking again 🧍‍♀️ smoking is just horrible. ppl who smoke smell horrible in general too"

I am tired of this fandom. They are following a grown man approaching his mid 30s.

He is not their tamagotchi pet or a Sims character they can create. Not 13 a year old Justin Bieber or a k-pop Idol. Not a boyband member from the early 2000s or a character of a fan fiction made into a movie.

Can a mf' who tried at least one version of any drug known, whose life was affected by addiction from childhood and birth really, keep smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee in peace, without somebody bitch!ng about it? What's gonna be next, coffee?

Northern America, Australia and certain parts of East Asia are the only places in the world where I see Average Joes completely lose it around a tobacco smoker. It always surprised me.

Yes it's an epidemic that should be controlled but I promise there are worst that deserves the priority.

Okay, so I read a lot into tone and I think, THINK, he may have been offended but then turned it around at the end. The joke that the fanpage was aiming for was to point out his hypocrisy, but it did seem a bit mean in my opinion. Colson, like you mentioned, has struggled with drugs for a majority of his time being famous, probably before then too. Usually people who smoke need to have something in their hands. Hence why you see cigarette smokers eating chips to keep their brain off wanting cigs. It takes a lot to stop smoking whether that be weed or cigarettes. I know that a lot of people who smoke cigs are addicted to the nicotine, and the weed smokers are still exposed because they use the wraps off cigars for their weed. It's all just one big circle of addiction, and addiction takes time to let go.

Saying that smokers usually smell bad in this context was uncalled for, especially since he has so many insecurities already. And besides not one person that's been around him has said he smells bad, so that doesn't fit here.

Colson seems to understand the concern that his fans have for him, so I'm going to assume he didn't take as much offense as I think he did. And you're right, he is an adult, older than a lot of his fan base. People cannot continue to poke and prod at him like he's an inanimate object.

[eliza-fanofstuff]

When you discover there is Cars (pixar) fan fiction:

When you discover there is explicit Cars (pixar) fan fiction:

When you discover there is explicit y/n (human) fan fiction for Cars (pixar):

When the explicit Cars (pixar) fan fiction has tags such as "Kerchow", "car crash" and "Justin Bieber X lightning McQueen":

[streamdotpng]

My thoughts are a bit scattered, so I’m not sure if this makes sense, but possible prompt? Much as social media and fan edit tiktoks of visual fiction today will mostly be associated with a song that’s primarily used with said fan edits, it’s safe to assume that the new viper adaptions will have fan edits and a song associated with it, even if the song doesn’t show up in the adaptation. So, in a roundabout way, what song do you think would be the unofficial viper theme song?

nawh i gotchu jd, i gotchuu

(had to search up edit audios bc idk the titles for these)

Songs for Viper! all of them bc my mind can't settle for one:

killshot by magdalena bay reminds me of Viper. Idk why, but its giving me viper and her penchant with admiring the dark and death. Maybe Diet mountain dew by lana del rey!

Toxic by britney spears and judas by lady gaga come into mind too.

Sirens (usually seen for makima if i remember correctly or the one usually used with the ominous ass sounding edits) or Freak by sub urban if we're going for a more ominous vibe

Cinematic? Skyfall or Derniere Danse

Its definitely Sirens however if we're going for the song. yknow i was going to say bloodymary but thats literally wednesday on the show so maybe not LMAO

songs for Helios would be:

Me too from meghan trainer has the same bright and confident vibe helios usually is known for. Same goes for Just Dance by lady gaga.

Big boy is prob just bc Enid is jacked asf and its obvious during action scenes.

Im yours is the name but it has the same aesthetic of helios for some reason. Where she's supposed to come off as this angel -which is usually how wednesday described the character- before going through her own corruption arc. Its the audio that goes "nervous trip over my words, youre so pretty it hurts"

definitely Me too as the song in my mind :)

bonus songs for Imperial gold (helios x viper)

i wanna be yours by artic monkeys

love me by justin bieber (cant believe i'd be listening to him again but it honestly fits)

infinity by james young

Dandelions by ruth B

[kiddbegins]

ohhh but how are you feeling about 1989 tv and the vault!! 💙 any thoughts on listening to taylor in firehouse 51? who would be a swiftie, who would begrudgingly listen, who learns to appreciate her music after you give them a powerpoint presentation LOL

I like it a lot!! I’m admittedly not like a giant 1989 fan, but the songs I do like I vibe with. And tbh, I think these might be my favorite set of vault tracks? Like I like all of them 100%, each other set of vaults there’s one or more im not big on (sadly bc I’m a speak now stan but I can’t get behind foolish one)

Also god taylor swift at 51,,, in my mind I can twist any fictional character into a swiftie in one way or another. I will never find myself saying ‘this person would hate Taylor swift’ because her array of music I just think everyone would have at least one album they love.

That being said

Taylor swift lovers:

Gabby (of course - she’d be a fearless or red stan)

Shay (SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED LOVER YOU BITCH)

Stella (reputation stan probably)

Matt (I don’t know why but he radiates 1989 and reputation lover to me)

Violet (would absolutely fuck with 1989)

Gallo (that’s a speak now lover if I ever saw one)

Ritter (him and Violet fuuuuuck with 1989)

Capp (idk what album but he just gives yk)

Tbh hear me out, Kelly as a folklore or evermore stan,,, a stretch but idk

Also also hear me out, otis biggest 1989 stan in the building

Taylor swift dealers:

Everyone else lmao, the rest of them either weren’t fans until they met the others, or have a few songs they like here and there / an album they don’t mind hearing.

Most likely to not like her before: Sylvie (solely based on her dislike of Justin Bieber), Herrmann/Mouch (bc they’re older men and we know how men view her,, even tho I love them we’ve seen how Herrmann talks about women especially early in the show - still love him don’t get me wrong), and if we’re bringing temporary members into it, chili would say she doesn’t like her but stream her music

Boden would have no idea who she was until she’s brought up in the firehouse, and tbh actually maybe Herrmann and mouch are here instead but 1. Cindy would be a debut/fearless stan so maybe not Herrmann and 2. Mouch is glued to the tv and that girl is everywhere so,, not that possible

Honorable mentions from other shows that you didn’t ask for:

Will Halstead biggest lover lover 🥹

Jay and Hailey reputation lovers

Kim (and Adam) stream red daily

Connor listens to folklore and evermore

[nevillespuff]

Tagged By - @ayoweshiftingtonite

Tagging - I interact with literally no one else on here sorry LMAO

Go-To Snack at a Convenience Store - I adore the Hawaiian Sweet Maui Onion Chips!! they are delish

Favorite Type of Clown - me overanalyzing every minuscule interaction I have with this guy in my anatomy class because I'm convinced he's in love with me

Height - I'm a wee 5'2

Favorite Song Right Now - Style by Taylor Swift is an all time fav but rnnn is probably Evergreen by Omar Apollo or Maria by Justin Bieber

Favorite Item of Clothing & Where I Got It - my friend got me these rly flowy black pants from a small business based in Thailand for my bday and I can't remember the brand name but they are so nice even if they're a little big around the waist hehe

Last Movie/Show I Watched & Enjoyed - I watched TBOSAS recently and thought it was alright :) Before that, it was Crazy Rich Asians on my birthday and I loved it as always!!

Last Movie/Show I Watched & Hated - the last thing I remember not loving was the 1st episode of The Office. I just couldn't sit through the 1st season

Thing You Have no Use for But Refuse to Throw Out - I ordered a 4 pack of the vanilla Burt's Bees and used them religiously before I switched to my tub of Aquaphor and they all say "[my name]'s Bees" on them instead of Burt's Bees bc they sell customs and I still have all of the empty tubes omg

Have You Ever Met Your Great-Grandparents? - no :( they both passed before I was born

Favorite Flower - I'm a v simple gal and a huge fan of baby's breath

Favorite Quote - “I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being and you can be grateful for them, even if they were never meant to be in your life forever. I’m glad I knew you too” I think this is from Bojack Horseman. have been doing some grieving these days so this fits

What Superpower Would You Pick if You Could Have One? - girl bye I had to look up examples of superpowers anyways I think healing or elemental control or teleportation

Fictional Character(s) I Would Most Want to Meet - Harry Potter, Meredith Grey, Topanga Lawrence

okay back to studying for my chem final lol

[692blog]

dracotok: a golden era in tiktok history

if you’re here, i doubt i need to introduce you to tiktok: the video sharing app. the ‘algorithm knows me better than my best friend’ app, the ‘spread misinformation with vigor’ app, the ‘yeah! i saw someone talking about it on tiktok’ app. the reason i chose it as the main subject of this blog is because while it is relatively new - compared to long standing things like twitter (or x), instagram, and tumblr - tiktok has a grip on the conscious of american consumers like nothing else.

the app is rife with content, absolutely saturated with users, and growing every single day. it’s hard to find someone born after the millennium that doesn't either 1) love tiktok and spend hours on it or 2) absolutely hate tiktok and continue to refuse to download the app.

something that will be mentioned on this blog that (at face value) has little to do with tiktok is the coronavirus pandemic. the spring of 2020 is when i finally folded and downloaded tiktok. i had a weird sense of superiority abstaining from the app previously, when it was still called musical.ly (and was mostly comprised of teen idols lip-syncing to justin bieber), but suddenly the pandemic hit and i, like everyone, was alone and stuck inside. thus we all turned to our phones and found solace in tiktok.

downloads of tiktok absolutely boomed in the first two quarters of 2020 and because of this parasitic takeover of the internet, previously existing groups of fans inevitably moved over to tiktok. this migration thus creating an entirely new and dominant chapter of fans on the app. one of the most infamous examples of this population increase is the subject of today’s blog post: DracoTok.

DracoTok derives its name from two things: Draco Malfoy and TikTok.

Draco, of course, being the popular antihero from the fantasy series Harry Potter and known for being not very nice but oh-so-very mysterious.

most communities on tiktok are called by their subject matter, followed by the suffix ‘tok’ (examples: booktok, cleantok, sportstok).

DracoTok was unique because it was the first time that a (quite large) section of the app was dedicated to one (fictional) person. amongst edits and fanfiction, the primary type of video posted on dracotok were P.O.V.s (point of view) tiktoks.

dracotok #povs (pronounced "pee-oh-vees", or "pahvs"), at their simplest, were videos putting the watcher (or the creator) in the position of someone adjacent to draco (mostly his girlfriend, but also his sister, best friend, etc.). situations and events (canonical, or more popularly, non-canonical) would occur and 'you' would be reacting/talking/acting with draco and then the video would end. it was formulaic but such is tiktok. and so, in 2020, with nothing but time on everyone’s hands, dracotok quickly infested the entire app.

within dracotok povs (and also povs at large), there are two main visual categories.

the first being you (the watcher) as y/n (your/name, a common placeholder for the watcher to inject their own name):

-

you could be either a blank space in the video, meant to be a spot for your imagination to insert yourself in (sitting next to harry in your hogwarts robes) or you could be a pre-existing character, retrofitted with y/n and previous character traits erased (common characters to replace: hermoine, luna, etc.). thus the movie scene would play and you could pretend you were right along with the cast as whatever situation unfolded.

ara's video - note the acknowledgment of the 'old dracotok'

secondly - later and more elaborately, tiktok creators started superimposing themselves into the harry potter movies:

-

creators would buy prop costumes and wands and would record themselves against a green screen to later edit themselves into movie scenes. these creators obviously were not in the original filming, but with color grading and convincing costuming, it looks like they were rubbing elbows with draco himself.

cherrie cherry's video | atina's video

the audio portion of these povs were usually whatever songs or 'audios' were trending at the time. 'audios' are what make tiktok iconic – they're short clips of music/talking/dialogue that are either original or pulled from somewhere else on the internet - and tiktok encourages you to record videos against these ‘audios' (it’s what makes up most of the app).

because audios are tiktok's bread and butter, the dialogue exchanges in dracotok povs are usually purely in writing – captions written in time to the characters moving their mouths - with some morose song or badass quip playing over the scene. this allows for audio freedom and personalization – you can read your pov damsel in any voice you want.

these videos, at their core, are exercises in escapism. life in 2020 was strange and very scary, so people turned to the things they knew - characters they loved from childhood. it's an understandable evolution of content and a perfect encapsulation of pandemic loneliness.

there is a larger conversation absent from this commentary about fan-made work in general - but that is a very long post for another day.

this combination of pandemic free time, childhood nostalgia, and internet access allowed dracotok to thrive. now, people look back on the ‘dracotok era’ of tiktok and sigh wistfully, wishing for the simpler times of three years ago (when nothing stressful was happening at all).

-

this comment was on a tiktok dedicated to the third anniversary to dracotok, which, apparently, was celebrated recently on august 22nd - i'm sorry you missed it.

[augustconversations]

Stop Staring At Me!

May be triggering to those who had the displeasure of dealing with someone who won’t take no for an answer. Read at your own discretion. 

Originally Written: April 12th, 2022 <3

His eyes are soft. They always have been and they always will be. I figured that out a long time ago, back when we were in school. 

It’s not like how the books put it. You don’t “melt.” You don’t “lose yourself.” You simply notice and hope they don’t notice you while you’re noticing them, otherwise they might think you’re swooning over them when you’re really not. You’re just looking. 

That’s what I like to think, anyway. It’s too cringy to say Jason was attractive, but the truth is, he was. Charm in general is a great quality to have, but there’s nothing like boyish charm. With his stupid golden locks, honey brown eyes to compliment his thick brows, and the textbook definition of a button nose that seemingly always had a hint of pink on the button part—let’s just say, he was a heartbreaker. Don’t even get me started on that perfect smile with those freaking dimples. 

I slipped up a couple of times, okay? I didn’t mean to. It was always in passing and that was a good thing because he never saw me. Not among all the other girls that were bold enough to look him dead in the eye.

However that all changed Saturday, April 9th, 2011. 

“Oh, come on…” Gracie slurred, eyes taunting. 

“Gracie, no. I don’t wanna play,” I say back, trying to snatch away from her, but she had a death grip on my arm. 

I wasn’t ready for this type of thing. I barely drank, didn’t dare to smoke, and could hardly move to the beat of the music without feeling as if I’m being scrutinized by my peers. What makes Gracie think I would randomly join a game of spin the bottle? Let alone with Jason being the one to start it?

“It’s gonna be so much fun and you’re going to be upset when you look back one day and realize you didn’t live out being sixteen to your fullest potential!” 

I looked into her eyes, all blurry, all mock angry, and the churning in my stomach began to twist. I know she’s not going down without a fight. 

“Why do you want to play this with your cousin anyway?” 

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. I won’t kiss Jason.” Then she wiggles her shoulders and gets closer to me. Vodka on her breath was like a kitten in lingerie: just didn’t look right. But Gracie drank it anyway. Part of me thinks she just wants to impress Tyler. 

He was currently waiting, watching, with devilish eyes. He wanted her, I could tell even if I was blind. And Gracie was too starstruck to realize he was going to use her for one thing and one thing only. 

“I know you like him,” she squints, “or at least think he’s cute.” 

“Who, Tyler?” 

She scoffs. “No, he’s mine.” She looks over her shoulder, down at the floor where Jason sat. He was looking at Vanessa, a pretty Latina with big lips and big hips. “I mean Jason.” 

“Don’t be stupid, Gracie,” I say, somewhat telling the truth. “I don’t want him.” 

I watch Vanessa try to sit comfortably in that black skin-tight mini skirt. First criss-cross apple sauce with her hot pink juicy couture jacket covering between her legs, then she switched to the mermaid style. She preferred it that way because ever so often Jason’s shoulder would rub up against hers and her little dimple, deeper than his, would sink in and her entire face would light up. 

She was really pretty. Really pretty for him. 

Part of me finds comfort in knowing if he notices other prettier girls then he won’t see me. The other part of me thinks Vanessa is trying too hard as if sitting next to him would give her a better chance of getting picked by him, like the damn bottle isn’t going to be totally random. 

Gracie laughs a little too loud. “You wear your emotions on your sleeve, you know that?” 

“Well, you wanna know something too? You smell like a freaking liquor store.”

She turns away from me and puts her arm in the air. “We got another player!” 

I instantly feel hot, like every light in the house is pointing right at me. Instead, I get eight pairs of eyes, which was way worse.

“Gracie, I don’t wanna play this!” I say through clenched teeth, but she doesn’t hear me. She’s already grabbing Tyler and they find their seats in the empty spot next to Vanessa.

A dingy guy with dark blemishes and squinty brown eyes looks up at me from where he sat. “Great, so fair chance. Five guys and five girls!” 

You can tell he was excited.

“Oh, no, I’m not—” 

Jason claps his hands. “Let’s get this party started!” 

Everybody in the circle cheers and the people surrounding the circle close in, cameras out, alcohol spilling out of their cups and down their chins. 

I shrink in the dark as best as I could. Luckily, there was a couch right behind me. I sit in the crevice and feel okay. They won’t see me here. Not when people are kind of blocking me now. I am grateful, although they stink. 

Jason spins first, and it lands on some girl with short brown hair and black-rimmed glasses. I think her name is Chloe or something. She was pretty too. Almost model-like, and Jason didn’t mind. He kissed her, lips to lips like she was his wife, tongue and all. It was so wet and so intimate; I had to look away. But everybody else was wooo-ing and laughing and blushing and recording, including Gracie. And suddenly I wanted to hit her. 

She spun next and got the guy with the squinty eyes. It was a short kiss because Tyler pushed her back and glared at the guy. For a second I thought maybe he did like Gracie, but then he spun next and got Vanessa and kissed her passionately. To upset Gracie or because he wanted to kiss Vanessa, I don’t know. Vanessa was the one to push him away and when he finally got the hint, he sat back laughing. She looked at Jason in a “Can you believe that?” type of way, but it was somebody else’s turn and the moment passed. Gracie didn’t look pleased at all. 

I started to relax a little, seeing as the bottle didn’t land in my direction no matter how many people went. Maybe they’ve forgotten about me, and a little piece of me wished I was as slender as Chloe, or as curvy as Vanessa. Maybe then I would have the nerve to kiss people at will, and not because I wanted them, but because they wanted me. But I know it’s better this way. Even if I had all of their physical attributes mixed, I don’t think I would want my first kiss to be at the hands of a bottle. 

Half of Jason’s face is showing behind some guy’s huge body, and by the way he’s focused I know it’s his turn again. He spins it as hard as he can and the bottle goes crazy against the hardwood floor until it slows. I think it’s going to land on Andrea, another anxious participant, but it passes her and I swear I see her shoulders slump. 

My whole body tenses when I see his head tilt past the big guy and his eyes land on me. I pretend I don’t see him but it’s no use because he keeps looking and the big guy clears the way. Suddenly everybody is looking at me. Vanessa’s eyes are jealous, and Gracie’s are delighted. 

I look back at Jason and he’s smirking. He looks at my lips and I lick them instinctively and suck them in. The strawberry flavor lights up my tongue and I want to hit him, hit Gracie, hit Vanessa just for the hell of it, and run. 

I get up when he gets up. When he starts getting closer, I start to back away. 

Three years without this guy even so much as glancing at me and suddenly I have all of his attention. He looks at me like we’re the only two people in the room but I remember everybody is looking at us, at this interaction, and I remind myself this is just a stupid game. Not anything special. I also remember how he kissed Chloe, sloppy with no remorse, and that’s enough for me to head out the door. I want to cry hearing the laughing and booing and the small, but equally humiliating chant of “party-pooper.” 

The air tonight is cold and unwelcoming but it feels good against my skin. 

“Why don’t you wanna kiss me?” 

He’s right up on me. His warm breath hits the tip of my ear before I am down the stairs. Then I look up at him as he looks down at me.

“I just don’t want to,” I say, pathetically. 

People are starting to spill out of the house. 

“Oh, come on, princess. I don’t bite.” 

“Nope, no,” I laughed, hoping he would laugh too, and shrug the whole thing off. But then he starts coming down the stairs, eyebrows knitted like Vanessa had hers earlier. 

A lot of people were looking now, waiting to see what the most popular guy in school would do as they began to cheer him on. 

“Kiss her!” One dude yelled. 

Jason had his arms out like he wanted to hug me. I had my arms up hoping he would stop. He grabbed ahold of my hand and pulled me into him. I crouched covering the side of my face. He kissed my hand, then the side of my neck. He smelled of alcohol and smoke and had the strength of a bull.

“Stop it!” I yelled. The tears were hot and fresh, dropping onto the short, trimmed grass. Camera flashes were beginning to blind me and in the midst of it, I saw some old guy at the next house over, standing on his porch with his phone to his ear. Then he was gone as we both tumbled to the grass, his body heavy on top of mine. He was right there. My crush was right here. And he wouldn’t stop. 

He kissed me, long and hard. Not special. Not sweet. Not caring at all. 

I pushed against his chest as hard as I could and he finally got off of me, licking his lips. His happy-go-get-some attitude was replaced with something of disgust. 

“Ew,” he says, wiping his mouth. “I hate the taste of strawberry chapstick. My ex use to wear that shit.” 

Then he’s standing over me, lending out a helping hand, with that stupid smirk on his face. Suddenly his dimples weren’t so cute. 

I stand up on my own and look him dead in the eyes. They’re playful and a lot less charming. But then he notices me crying and his little smile slowly starts to drop. 

“Hey, it was just a joke—” 

I slapped him as hard as I could. He stumbled back, face beaming, shocked as I have ever seen him before. 

I point my perfectly manicured finger right in his face. “I know you’re used to getting your way, but I am not the one to try it with! Only rapists do things like that, and if you ever do that again the pain is going to be worse than a headache!” 

Gracie intervenes then. She looks as if she wants to help Jason but she starts coming towards me. I speak only so she can hear. “I told you I didn’t want to play that game. Now look.” 

Then I walk fast and heavy down the street, hand stinging. The crowd starts booing at me again and as soon as I hit the corner and am no longer seen, I run as fast as I can with two thoughts ping-ponging through my mind. 

Jason McCann stole my first kiss. 

I will never forgive him for it.

[estrxnged-dxylight]

The world that I used to live in here is no longer…. When did I become so old. When did these things stop mattering to me.

I truly do miss being a 16 year old, reading smut and fan fiction on this app, ogling over Dylan O’Brien and harry styles and Justin Bieber…. Worried about who was married to who and now it’s just not the same.

Twitter is taken over as XPO and you’re charged to use it??? Tumbler…god I gave up on this app so long ago. I feel like instagram is just the same 3 artists talking about what they love about this organic shit or they’re having kids or.. idk. I have a child of my own but I feel nostalgic about how things were 24/7. What changed? Why aren’t I happy?

[waterspinachdith]

IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!

Fandom can provide a safe haven for us to express ourselves, have fun, and participate in activism. However, fandom is not always amusing. It can also be harmful at times. One of the toxic fandom cultures that we may have heard about recently is the "duty" to stream songs or music videos by idols in order to meet particular screening targets. Of course, this is done to both respect and encourage idols' work and hard work.

This behaviour, however, can become toxic if one fan or group of fans forces other fans to stream as well. Fans who do not stream militantly have been abused and dubbed "disloyal" to their idols on countless instances. Bullying is nothing new in the fandom. According to the BBC, in 2018, Canadian writer Wanna Thompson was bullied by Barbz, as fans of rap superstar Nicky Minaj were known. Wanna, who is also a fan of Nicki Minaj, questioned Nicky's work at the moment. He believes that the performer should write more mature songs.

Wanna began receiving threats and insults from the Barbz shortly after tweeting. They even found a photo of Wanna's four-year-old son and made fun of him. Gayle S. Stever writes in his article "Parasocial and Social Interaction with Celebrities: Classification of Media Fans," which was published in the journal Psychology Theories Methods and Applications, that a person can love or like his idol based on feelings such as "celebrity idols are similar to him," "he wants to be like a celebrity," "romantic attachment," and "considering idols to be holy heroes."

It's no secret that all fandoms can be awful, and I've certainly known this, but for those who prefer to use fiction to inspire and distract themselves from reality for a while, groups within a certain fandom might feel like a safe place to create relationships and not feel alone. For the longest time, I was only interested in one fandom, which I adored. There were some negative portions, but not nearly as horrible as some other fandoms I wanted to join. I'm getting into the practise of ignoring fandoms that I find offensive or obnoxious, but it makes me feel more alone in my enjoyment of a series; also, depending on the fandom, it can cause me to see a character or series as just one big cringey meme.

From my personal record, When I was in highschool, I was part of the Beliebers (Justin Bieber's) fandom. I remember creating a twitter account just to make friends with other beliebers. I used to post edits and tagged Justin's official account on every post I made. I believe I made quite a few friends on the acc even though none of us actually know each other personally. The fact that we're all gathered under the same interest. I used to get mad at people who make stupid jokes about him. I made a mistake and allowed it to impair my enjoyment of the series, something I'm trying not to repeat. It bothers me to see something that I find uplifting and reassuring portrayed as filthy and cringeworthy. Apart from meeting friends online, I remember that I used to skip school lunches just to save my pocket money for Justin Bieber's merch. The fact that this might be seen as cringe or childish to others, I was really enjoying those moments as a fangirl.