#& honestly?? learning to show up to myself. staying true to my promises to myself

[stuckinapril]

Honestly a bumpy but good start to this year. So many new exciting things in my life & so many new people. Anyone who isn’t good for me took care of themself & stayed behind in 2023. All the dominoes are lining up for maybe one of the best years of my life if I just stay consistent & block out all the noise

[sansaorgana]

hii 😊 can you please write benny x yn where she thinks he’s a player so she doesn’t want to give him a chance and go on a date with someone else and that drives him crazy and he does everything for her to see him differently, even asks kathy to put in a good word for him

hi! 💝 I know you sent it like 2 hours ago – I swear, I am not insane but I was itching so badly to write something about Benny that... it's already here 👀 as much as I adore the fics with innocent, sweet Readers – my Reader talks back 😇🤭 I hope it's fine 😘

[ I haven't abandoned the three requests from my inbox from the last time, I promise ]

requests for benny are open 🥺🎀

Benny Cross was an insufferable guy. He was showing up at your diner nearly every day and always asking for the same thing with the same smug smile on his pretty full lips – and always getting your annoyed eye-rolls each time. Yeah, he was pretty and you wouldn’t deny that. And yeah, you could see why so many girls saw the appeal. Bad boys were in fashion now… Well, actually, where had they not been? But you didn’t want to end up as a girl in trouble. Perhaps you were just an ordinary waitress but you still didn’t want to ruin your life for a player. And you couldn’t understand why he wanted you so badly.

“I think it’s because you turned him down,” Kathy explained to you the other day. She was your friend and recently she had also been strangely associated with Benny’s motorbike gang – The Vandals. Ever since her breakup, you could not recognise her, honestly.

“I turned him down, exactly,” you emphasised. “Why can’t guys learn that no means no?” You sighed.

“Oh, please, it must feel… Flattering to be chased by a guy like Benny, right?” Kathy giggled and you looked away, trying not to reveal that yeah, she was right.

“Listen, I just don’t want to end up like my cousin. She had a one night stand with this bad boy at college and guess what? She had to drop out, now she’s a single baby mama and the guy? God only knows where. Some say he married another chick in Nevada,” you explained to Kathy.

“But you’re not in college,” she pointed out as her eyes widened and you just rolled your eyes.

Jesus, what was going on with her these days?

You couldn't know that it was Benny himself telling her to "spread the propaganda" so you'd be more willing to finally agree to go out with him. You couldn't know that you were driving this man crazy – driving him crazier than his motorbike. He would wake up at night all sweaty and all he could think about was you.

You were a tough cookie and you were a challenge – that was for sure. But Benny knew it was more than that. He already knew that his desire would not disappear after claiming you. In fact, it would only grow once he'd get a taste. He was serious about you and he was desperate for you to see it.

When Marcus Lane asked you out, you were speechless. You were walking out of a flower store with a fresh bouquet to put on your grandfather’s grave and he whistled at you.

You turned around and raised an eyebrow at the guy leaning on his car. And God, what a car that was… A shiny, black Cadillac that made your eyes sparkle.

“Hi!” You waved at him. “You’re back from college,” you pointed out.

“Yeah,” he nodded at you and lit a cigarette. He offered you one but you shook your head. “Couldn’t wait to visit my neighbourhood. I’m staying with my ma until the end of summer,” he explained. “Then I got a job for myself in New York City,” he bragged so casually.

You had always thought he was full of himself and full of shit, too, but out of all the guys in your high school year he had been the one who would succeed most likely. Apparently, it was true. He was going places.

“And how’s Camilla?” You asked him.

“We broke up,” he winced. “What you doing tonight?”

You blinked a few times and fixed your skirt. Marcus Lane asking you out?

“Nothin’,” you answered and tilted your head.

“Wanna go and see a picture?” Marcus asked.

“Yeah!” You nodded, not even asking what picture.

“Still living with your ma?”

“Yeah,” you answered.

“I’ll pick you up at six,” he winked at you and you only nodded at him before walking away, not being able to hide a smile.

On your way back from the graveyard, you stopped by the laundry to tell Kathy the news but she didn’t look excited.

“He’s a knobhead, isn’t he? Always has been,” she shook her head.

“Wow, gee, thanks for being happy for me! You know he’s goin’ places and… He’s gonna be somebody,” you couldn’t help a grin.

“Don’t even start,” Kathy put her hands on her hips but you kept on a dreamy expression, so she snapped her fingers right in front of your face. “Guys like Marcus Lane do not date girls like us, wake up.”

“Why would he ask me out then?” You got defensive because your feelings and pride were hurt – mostly because you had a feeling Kathy was right.

“Because he’s back for the summer and bored? He saw you and thought he could play with you for a while before he leaves forever? Because he thinks a silly girl he remembers from high school might be an easy fuck for the summer?” Kathy asked and asked as your anxiety grew.

“Wow, thanks,” you got angry because you hated how right she could be. And sometimes you hated how honest she was instead of feeding your delusions. “I’m going out with him tonight and I’m not gonna sleep with him,” you told her before walking out to go back home and prepare for the night.

You wore a red polka dot top and tight jeans for the date instead of a dress. Marcus didn’t comment but he looked a little disappointed and you could see that on his face. He kept staring at your thighs as he drove you to the cinema, which increased your anxiety that Kathy could had been right indeed… More than you had expected.

You went to see Bonnie and Clyde and after the movie, Marcus insisted on taking you to a club in the neighbourhood. It was one of those places you would never go to alone but with a man around, you felt safer. At least you should feel this way. But something about Marcus was not right. Why would a proper guy like him even want to take you to a club like that? Perhaps because he was seeing you as a girl like that. You didn’t disagree, though. The idea of getting free drinks was tempting.

“Looks like some of those dirty bums have a meeting here tonight,” he murmured to himself as you walked inside and you sighed at the sight of The Vandals themselves.

The whole place was full of cigarette smoke and it stank of sweat, leather and grease.

“I hate those punks,” Marcus winced. “Sit here, I’ll get us something to drink,” he winked at you as he sat you down by one of the tables and you nodded,

He walked away, without even asking you what you wanted. You looked around, feeling out of place and then you spotted him… Benny Cross by the pool table. You quickly looked the other way but he glanced in your direction and smirked.

You pretended to be very fascinated by the posters on the wall but he sat by the table next to yours and kept grinning at you with his flashy smile, his muscles all on display as he rested his arms on the chair’s backrest.

Seeing you there, it made his heart skip a beat. And those tight blue jeans, that red top... Benny was smug for a moment, thinking that you finally decided to hang out with him. He had been inviting you to this club many times before.

However, he quickly realised that you weren' there alone. And the guy you came with made him feel sick in his stomach. Not only because he looked like a typical piece of shit that would take advantage of a girl like you... But also because this guy represented everything that Benny was not. And it was making him feel insecure at the moment. Of course your standards were higher than a guy like him. That was one of the reasons why he liked you so much.

Still, he decided to play his little game and annoy you a little.

Marcus came back with two drinks in his hand and he looked Benny up and down before placing a drink in front of you.

“That punk bothering you?” He asked – quite bravely, you had to admit. But Benny remained the same as if he was a statue.

“For weeks now,” you chuckled and watched Marcus take a seat in front of you, still glancing angrily at Benny on your right. 

“Is he stupid or somethin’?” Marcus asked.

“It’s fine. Let’s just pretend he’s not here,” you shrugged your arms.

In fact, you enjoyed it. And you wanted to pretend to like Marcus more than you did so Benny would finally realise you were not interested.

Still… You couldn’t help an odd feeling of safety now when he was sitting next to you and some part of you didn’t want him to walk away and leave you alone with Marcus.

“So, what do you think about the movie?” Marcus asked and sipped on his drink as you sipped on yours. Benny raised an eyebrow at you.

“We were in the cinema to watch Bonnie and Clyde,” you informed him quickly as if he was in the audience and you were an actress in the theatre but he was late and you wanted him to catch on. He nodded his head like a little boy and Marcus gritted his teeth. “Well,” you addressed your date now as you fixed your hair nonchalantly. “I adored it. And Warren Beatty was beautiful as always.”

“I don’t like him,” Marcus commented. “And I didn’t like the movie much. My favourite part was when they got killed.”

“Why?” You asked. It was already getting difficult to pretend to like him. And Benny seemed to be interested by his answer too – he tilted his head.

“Because they were outlaws and a couple of twisted psychos!” Marcus got irritated – at Benny still being there and at you asking such silly questions with such obvious answers.

“Yeah, they were but there’s also some romanticism to it, don’t you think? That’s why they made a movie about them. And why did you even go to see a movie about people you despise so much?” You asked and sipped on your drink again.

“You can’t be serious. There’s nothing romantic about murdering people,” Marcus started sounding very patronising and you suddenly realised that Kathy had been right. So, so much. You were a silly girl in his eyes.

“Murdering – no. But the life they had. The love, the freedom on the road,” you tried to explain.

“You want freedom on the road? Ask one of those bums here to show you,” Marcus laughed with irony and he squinted his eyes at Benny. “What you still doing here, punk? How can I get it into your thick head that you’re not a part of this conversation? It’s my date,” he scoffed.

“It’s my girl,” Benny leaned back with a smug smile and your heart skipped a beat.

Usually, when he’d call you that, you would get angry. But now, when Marcus had been annoying you for the whole evening, you actually enjoyed that. Because Marcus’ face was priceless. He looked at you with disgust.

“Is this true?” He asked you. “What the hell is going on?”

But before you could answer, some drunk and loud biker entered the club loudly as he laughed out loud.

“Fuck, I’ve scratched some Cadillac in the front!” He announced and sat by the counter to order beer. You couldn’t help but chuckle at that and Marcus’ face went as red as tomato.

He stood up rapidly, gave you a furious look and then ran outside to check on his beloved car, surely. Not caring much about the fact he was leaving you alone with dangerous men swarming around.

“So…” Benny started lazily as he licked his lips before looking you up and down. “That’s your type?” He pointed his thumb at the door Marcus had just left through. “That why you didn’t want me to take you out?”

“Why did you do that?” You asked, genuinely and his face got serious now.

“I saw you sittin’ here all alone, for a moment I thought… You came here for me,” he admitted with a laugh. “Then I saw that guy and I thought to myself: Jesus, what an asshole. So, I wanted to watch,” he shrugged his arms and you couldn’t help but stare at the flexing muscles and all the tattoos.

“He’s a proper guy. Graduated from college and with a job waiting for him in New York City,” you explained.

“But you’re not a proper girl,” Benny pointed out with a grin and you suddenly got a flashback of Kathy telling you the same thing – that you were just a silly girl for Marcus, just an easy fuck for the summer… 

You stood up rapidly and Benny looked up with a confused look on his face but you ignored him and left the club, hoping Marcus was still there and you could explain to him that you weren’t Benny’s girl… Maybe he’d drive you home?

But Marcus wasn’t there anymore. The only vehicles in the parking lot were motorbikes. You sighed and started walking in the direction of the bus stop but the door opened behind you. You heard heavy footsteps and then the sound of lighting a cigarette. Turning around slightly, you spotted Benny following you.

“Just wanted to point out that proper girls don’t find Bonnie and Clyde romantic,” with a few big steps he was now walking next to you.

“It’s not the murdering aspect, gee, why do I have to explain it so many times?” You got irritated.

“I didn’t say anything ‘bout it. You said something about the freedom and the road. You ever been on the open road like that?” Benny asked and you already knew what he wanted to propose because he had been mentioning it many times before while flirting with you at the diner.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes. “I need a ride home,” you admitted and bit on your lower lip. “And no, I’ve never been. On the open road, I mean,” you added, feeling your cheeks heating up.

Benny didn’t say anything, he only nodded before throwing his cigarette on the ground and walking away to jump on his motorbike. He started the engine and patiently waited for you to finally join him. Feeling the rush of adrenaline going through your body, you clumsily sat behind him and he made the engine roar like a lion – a very sexy sound, you had to admit – but he didn’t start driving. You realised he was giving you a signal to hold onto something before he would drive away. It was considerate of him, you had to admit. Other guys would just drive away and laugh at your squealing. But Benny wanted you to be safe and for the second time on that night you realised that he was making you feel safe. Safer than a proper guy like Marcus – for sure. And you just didn’t know what to do with this information.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, told him your address and that was when the engine roared again but this time he drove away.

And God, something broke inside of you that moment. It was as if your brain chemistry changed completely. The speed, the wind in your hair, the freedom – this odd feeling that he could take you anywhere like this and you would go with him… To the point that when you spotted him taking a turn that led to your street, you nearly felt disappointed that he wasn’t “kidnapping” you. Perhaps in this moment you understood your cousin even – why had it been so tempting to risk everything for a handsome bad boy.

Benny parked the motorbike in front of your house and you could already spot your mum standing by the window upstairs and looking out through the curtain. You chuckled at the realisation you would have to explain to her how your date with Marcus ended with a guy like Benny taking you home.

“Thanks,” you only said as you got off the bike, still clinging to his leather jacket to make sure you wouldn’t trip and fall. You were a little breathless after that ride.

“And? What do you think?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

“It was… Okay,” you grinned, not wanting to give him satisfaction.

“Why do you tease me so much?” Benny sighed.

He was done with playing for now. He just wanted to know the answer. Perhaps it would finally make him give up. Or perhaps it would educate him on the matter how to flirt with you better. Either way, he just wanted the truth.

“Why do you insist so much? I mean, I ain’t nothing special to chase me around for weeks,” you shrugged your arms. “And don’t get me wrong – or actually do get me wrong, the hell do I care? – but I don’t want to be just another number in your book, Benny,” you explained and Benny thought to himself that he wished you could see yourself through his eyes.

“You’re a whole book, kitty,” he winked at you and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Sometimes his flirting had this effect on you whether you liked it or not. “And I can’t wait to read it all,” he added, encouraged by your reaction.

“You can read?” You asked, teasingly.

“I’m full of surprises,” he smirked.

“That I see,” you laughed. “Um… I should go now… My ma’s watching us.”

“I can see,” Benny nodded and looked up at the window upstairs. He waved his hand and you grabbed him by his wrist to pull it down.

“Stop it!” You kept laughing at him and then you realised your face was only a few inches away from his as he was still sitting on his motorbike, ready to drive away any given moment.

A short moment of silence occurred between you two and you just kept staring into each other’s eyes as playful smiles disappeared from your faces. You swallowed thickly and fixed his jacket, not knowing what to do with your hands.

“You have a shift tomorrow?” He broke the silence.

“In the evening,” you nodded.

“So… See you?” Benny asked, unsurely.

“See you,” you smiled at him and he smiled back, relieved. “And hey, thanks for… For being there for me when I was with the… With the asshole,” you lowered your voice and took a step back to give him space now – finally.

“No need to thank me,” he shrugged his arms. “It’s just the thing I do, ain’t it?”

You furrowed your brows at those words.

“Protectin’ my girl,” he winked at you and the engine roared, making you take a few more steps back. And then he drove away – just like that.

Shaking your head and hugging your own self to feel warmer, you walked to the front door of your house, biting on your lip and not being able to help a chuckle.

Apparently, Benny had already decided that you were his girl. And, apparently – you enjoyed it.

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[doudouneverte]

2nd choice, but 1st place

a/n: okay I was very inspired for that I don't know why. And it should be my last last football (soccer) fic at leat until the world cup

*not my GIF*

Pairing: VfL Wolfsburg (frauen) x Putellas!Reader; Alexia Putellas x sister!Reader; (hint of Lena Oberdorf x Reader)

Summary: You need to prove that you're notjust La Reina's little sister.

Type: Fluff

Warning: nothing

word count: 5433 (i was inspired sorry)

note:

(///////) means change POV to TV pov (I tried something very new)

----------

Dreams are made to come true, they say. Yours just started when you signed your first professional contract for Barcelona. You were nervous, but you were not alone; there was your sister, the great Alexia Putellas, and the one who will become your best friend, Ona Batlle. But your debut was not really like you expected; according to your previous coach, you were too much like your big sister, and the club decided to send you on loan to Levante.

You should be angry by their decision, but you got more play time there, and you were with Ona, at least until she joined the WSL. The defender tried to convince you to go with her and maybe play with her in Manchester, but you declined. You were really happy with your new club, and they even decided to keep you after the left back left.

But fortunately or unfortunately for you, Barcelona wanted you back after their Champions League final win against Chelsea. At first, you thought that they finally found an interest in you, but you learned late that it was more of a way for them to be sure you didn’t sign with the rival, Real Madrid.

At the end of the 2022 season, you received some calls from a lot of clubs who were ready to sign you next summer. Honestly, you didn’t know how they could recruit a bench player, but two clubs caught your attention: Manchester United and VfL Wolfsburg. When you talk about it with your sister, it’s unnecessary to say she wasn’t really happy with it.

You were with the team celebrating the three trophies won this season. You talked a little with Ingrid and Fridolina; you three grew up close because they joined the club with you. After they gave you some advice, you decided to pull your sister away from the girls to announce your decision.

"But why?" Alexia asked, and you rolled your eyes.

"Do you really need to ask?" You were not really shocked by the fact that she seemed oblivious to your situation; every time you played together, she looked as happy as when you were both children and you were trying to reach her level. But there is the problem: you were not that little kid anymore, and you definitely didn’t want to reach her level like you did in the past. "Listen, I already talked with the coach and everyone. Ingrid and Frido said that Wolfsburg is a great team to improve myself so I think I can try."

"But why? Is it because we lost in the Champions League? I’m angry too, but don’t worry; we will do it next year, I promise." She said, and you sighed.

"No, it’s not—" you groaned. "I mean, yes, I’m angry that we lost, but it’s not because of that."

"So what is it? I thought you wanted to win the Champions League together. I thought you wanted to show the world how incredible the Putellas sisters are." She said, and gave you a nudge.

"I want; I really want, but look at us. You won the freaking Ballon d'Or; you're the captain of the team and the national team. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really proud of you; nobody deserved it more than you. But look at me; I struggle to make my way on this team. Until I’m still in your shadow, I could never reach your level; it’s not your fault, but it’s just that no team needs two of the same players." You explained, and your sister stayed there, processing everything you said.

"I didn’t know," she said. You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and gave her a weak smile. "I’m sorry," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it’s okay; it’s not your fault; it’s just that you started to create your own legend here, and it’s a good thing, but if I want to improve my skill, I need to leave." You said, and she hugged you.

======

The final whistle echoed in the stadium; it's over; Spain lost against England and was out of the Euro 2022. It took you a moment to realize what that meant. The coach called you just before the first match to let you know you'd replace your sister because she got injured just before the competition, and now you were angry and disappointed because you didn't qualify your team for the next round.

You were sitting on the pitch with your head in your hands when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to meet Ona's eyes. She was trying to restrain her tears, but you knew her better than anyone else. You didn't say anything; you just stood up and pulled her into a tight hug before your teammates came a few seconds later.

After a little while, you went to congratulate the winners with a sad smile, and you could see some English players were truly sorry for you. Leah came and hugged you while you tried not to fall apart on her shoulder. "I'm sure she's proud of you." She whispered to you, and you nodded. When you broke the hug and looked at the crowd, you saw her. Alexia was there, visibly sad, but she gave you a smile to reassure you and let you know that she's proud of your match even if Spain didn't win.

Later that night, you were with Ona, packing your things, when Alexia knocked on the door. The defender took a moment to analyze and make sure you were okay before she left you two alone.

"You did great." Alexia said, and you hummed, not really looking at her to avoid a possible deception on her face. She grabbed your hand, and you finally looked at her "I'm serious, you were the best player today."

"Yeah, but that was not enough to win." You replied, and she sighed. She knew why you were acting like that, why this defeat seemed more important to you than anyone else, and secretly she couldn't help but blame herself for something she couldn't change.

"This shot in the second half was extremely precise, and if their captain didn't touch the ball, I'm sure you would score." She added and rubbed your cheeks with her hand. You lowered your head to look at her leg and the clutches she carried with her everywhere.

"How is your knee?" You changed the subject; you were definitely not ready to talk about it right now.

"It will be hard, but I should be back before the end of the next season." She said, and sat on the bed where your suitcase was while you continued to fulfill it. There was silence until your sister spoke again. "You know, we'll miss you." She said it with a sad smile.

"I know, but it's not like I'll change continents or anything. We will stay in the same time zone, and if you're good without me, we will face each other in the Champion's League." You joked, and she gently pushed you.

You spent the rest of your summer with your family before being called to Germany. In the airport, your mom and Alexia were making sure you hadn't forgotten anything, while Alba and you just rolled your eyes at them. When they called your flight, you gave them a last group hug, cautiously avoiding touching your sister's knee.

To your surprise, everything fit perfectly; your new teammates were really happy to have a new face, and the coach seemed to really trust you. Due to your position on the field, you didn't start every match, but it was definitely enough to grow some ties with your teammates and one in particular, Lena Oberdorf.

You were used to playing behind your sister in Barcelona, so of course you didn't mind playing defensive midfielder beside her, and it was definitely a game changer to have both of you on the pitch. The Bundesliga seemed too small for you two; rare were the strikers who were able to pass you and the German.

You definitely shined during the group stage of the Champions League, when everyone was prepared to stop Poppy or Pajor; they didn't know you were able to play as N°10, and every goalkeeper was shocked to see you so close to their penalty areas.

Because of your perfect performance on the group stage, Lena started to call you Prinzessin, or princess in German, because of Alexia's nickname. You found it funny and started to call her your knight because she always cleaned up after you every time you lost a dual.

Everything couldn't be better; you were one of the best scorers in the Bundesliga and definitely the one with more assists. While you were eliminating the PSG, your best friend was becoming the best left back in the WSL, and your sister started to work out to prepare for her comeback.

======

At the press conference before your first leg at home against Arsenal, a journalist asked something funny to Tommy Stroot: "What can you say about the transformation of Y/n?"

"What?" Your coach asked back.

"I mean, it's not the end of the season, and she already beat her record from the two past seasons. She was involved in four goals in the semifinal of the DFB-Pokal against Bayern. So, I'm asking if you know something about her transformation on the pitch."

There was a little silence; the response seemed so obvious that the coach couldn't even believe he asked him that. "I don't know if it's really a transformation; when she trained with us for the first time, she beat my expectations. I don't think we did something to her; maybe she just needed some confidence and play time. She's a young player, and it's the most important thing."

"Talking about play time, she got injured in the last match; do you think she'll get back in time for the match tomorrow?" Another journalist asked.

No, definitely not, but she works hard on her side to be available for the match in London, so I'm not worried." After a few rounds of questions, the conference ended.

To your surprise, the first leg ended in a draw. You were frustrated not only because you couldn't play but also because you knew you had to win the next match. In London, things were a little different; the Gunners were favorites, of course, but the atmosphere was almost suffocating, and things didn't go better when Stina scored the first goal. You were on the bench for this match; you were ready to play, but your coach wanted to use you as a super sub, and this man rarely gets it wrong.

At the end of full time, the score was 4-4 in aggregate, so that meant overtime, and overtime meant super sub. You just need 15 minutes to install fear in your opponent's mind. You barely lost a ball, and even when it happened, Lena always had your back. And in the next fifteen minutes, you did what you did best this season: assisted Bremer eight minutes before the end and qualified Wolfsburg for another final in their history, and more than that, because it will be against Barcelona.

Until then, you win the dfb-Pokal without surprise, and you place yourself as the second-best scorer of the season in the Bundesliga. At the end of the season, everyone's eyes were locked on one thing.

The day before the final, you were in your hotel room in Eindhoven talking with some teammates who had invited themselves into your room when you received a text from Ona.

======

Ona: good luck for tomorrow, Princesa. I come with Leila and Laia

You: you come to see me or the girls? 🤔

Ona: everyone 

You: okay but I need to tell you that we will win tomorrow, so prepare the girls to comfort them

Ona: I don't come here to see my best friend lose

You: don't worry, you'll not

You: I need to go. the girls need me to annoy the older. see you tomorrow. I'll let you touch the trophy 😜 

Ona: yeah sure 🙄

On D-Day, the pressure was at its highest level; the fans were expecting a victory, and you, the players, would do anything for that. In the changing rooms, everyone was tense after the lecture from your coach. You started your little routine before any big games to focus until you saw Lena beside you, totally nervous.

"Hey Lee, are you okay?" You asked after you gently paused your hand on her tight. She looked at your hand before locking her gaze on yours.

"I don't know. I mean, it's a big game, like, THE big game of the season." She said, and you chuckled. You found her very cute when she was stressed, but she didn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"Yes, but you played a big finale last summer, remember?" You asked.

"And I lost." She replied.

"Okay, that's not what I was expecting." You admitted; you sighed and gently cupped her face with your hands, forcing her to look at you. "Listen, I know it's a big game. I know how terrifying it is to face a team like that, but you're not alone. There's all the team to help you in the first half, and I'll be there in the second, whatever happens." You said quietly, and she chuckled, leaving you confused.

"I was more stressed about making your ex-teammates cry because we would crush them, but I think your little speech helped me too." She joked, and you rolled your eyes, even if that made you laugh too.

"Okay now, enter that pitch and show them what my knight in shining armor can do." You said, and all the girls cheered you up.

///////

"Good afternoon, everyone, I'm Dave, and I'll be your commentator for this final of the Champions League. I'm not alone; I'm with Selena, our consultant for this match. Good afternoon, how are you?"

"Pretty good, thanks, Dave. And yeah, we're here today for THE most important match of the season, one of the most equilibrated matches of this Champions League journey, at least on paper."

"Yes, on paper, the match would be beautiful to see, but we need to remind ourselves that FC Barcelona start this match with a little advantage. They were declared champions a few weeks before the end of the season, so they could rotate their squad and rest their players for this final."

"Of course, it will be a great advantage, but we saw how Wolfsburg can be really dangerous when we're not ready. I don't think Alexia and her teammates will take it easy; I think the defeat of the last year is still in everyone's memories."

"Talking about Alexia and her teammates, the players should enter the pitch in an instant now." The players started to walk out of the tunnel, and everyone was focused on one thing: the victory. You were on the bench watching your first team against your provisory team.

The anthem of the Champions League was playing on the speaker of the Phillips Stadion; the supporters started to be impatient, and you were more nervous.

"I will never get used to this tension just before the kickoff."

"I totally understand you; it never misses to give me goosebumps. I was watching the composition of the two teams, and I'm a little shocked to not see Y/n in the starting eleven. What do you think about it?"

"It's a surprise, but not as big as anyone thinks. We know that Tommy Stroot likes to use her as a super sub, and it's technically those types of matches where anything could happen that you need someone like her."

"Her big sister doesn't start either, but it's not really a surprise, so I think I'm talking for everyone when I say that we are really excited to see the both of them on the pitch. And now the kickoff."

—------------

Surprisingly, after the kickoff, the advantage was clearly for the German team.

"The Spanish seem to struggle to keep the ball out of their side of the pitch."

"Yes, but we know they can reverse this; we just need to—"

"Oh no, big mistake from Bronze. Pajor can shoot, and- she didn't miss! Wolfsburg take the lead with a missile from their Polish striker."

"I was saying that they can reverse, but this didn't go well, haha."

"It's not your fault; nobody can predict that Lucy Bronze would leave a little place for Pajor to shoot. But only after fifteen minutes, the teammates of Alexandra Popp can dream to lift the prestigious trophy."

—------

"—she's doing one of her best performances today, but– but right now the Catalans recuperate the ball! Graham Hansen is alone by her side. Oh, what a great move to push the ball in front of the goals; she can shoot—no, she passes, why she—"

After only fifteen minutes, everything needed to be redone.

"It's Patri!! After only fifteen minutes, ladies and gentlemen, Patri scored the equalizer!"

"That was the best way to finish this action, Dave. What a great goal and great performance from the Spaniard since the Germans took the lead! The solution didn't come from the strikers, so she just decided to take it into her own hands. 1-1, the real game starts now."

"You said it, Selena; she had the lucidity to stay away from any defender, and the finish is just amazing."

You and the girls were gutted; you didn't plan to win this game with a big goal difference, so any goal against you is barely a synonym of defeat. The real nightmare started only five minutes before halftime.

"A corner kick for Barcelona. It's shot very well, and—it's Rolfö! The Swedish give the advantage to the Spaniard only five minutes before halftime! What a goal!"

"Like you said, Dave, what a goal from Fridolina Rolfö. She used to score beautiful headers, and that's why corner kicks are one of the most dangerous weapons on this team. She just freed her from any defender and easily put it in the back of the net."

"You can see the joy erupting from Barcelona's bench; the supporters are uncontrollable, and it's totally understandable. The Swedish player may have just secured the victory with this goal."

In the next five minutes, your teammates pushed but failed to score against a visibly blessed Paños.

"And the referee blew the whistle; it's halftime, ladies and gentlemen. We will remind you of the score for the one who just joined. There is a 2-1 lead for Barcelona. Pajor scored the first goal of the game, but only fifteen minutes later, Patri equalized, and Rolfö gave them the advantage a few minutes ago."

///////

Back in the changing room at halftime, your teammates looked defeated, and after another lecture from your coach, the room was pretty quiet. The girls seemed to be trying to focus on the second half. Lena rested her head on your shoulder, and you intertwined your fingers with hers.

"Okay girls, you heard me out." Alexandra started to speak and gained everyone's attention. She gave a pretty encouraging speech. During this time, you were rubbing your thumb on the back of Lena's hand.

After the speech, when it was time to go, you unconsciously kissed the defender's hand and made her blush, but you were totally oblivious. "I believe in you; I know you'll be better in this half." You whispered to her, and she squeezed your hand.

/////// 

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. We're here for the second half of this final of the Champions League, opposing Barcelona to Wolfsburg, and the Spaniard took the lead just before halftime." The two teams were going back on the pitch with a little change in the Spaniard's side.

"We were just talking about her before during the halftime, and Jonatan seemed to have heard you." You were one of the last ones to come out of the tunnel, and you were a little surprised to hear the Barcelona fan chanting your sister’s name, but you were more surprised to see her ready to start the end of the match. "No, you’re not dreaming Alexia Putellas will play her first minutes in this campaign! Now the question is how Wolfsburg will react to this."

It was not surprising that the Spaniard took the advantage at the start of the second half, and things went worse when what everyone expected happened.

"Bonmati for a cross in the box, the defense struggles to kick the ball out. Alexia recuperates the ball; she places herself and aims, and—it's a goal! Barcelona is now leading by two goals!"

The joy erupted from the benches of the previous finalists. All the Spanish supporters were screaming; it was almost done. Almost because it was only the fiftieth minute, they had to conceive the score for forty minutes, and your coach was about to make his biggest move.

Your teammates were about to start the end of the game until the referee blew the whistle for a sub.

"Things are going to be more exciting now. The coach of Wolfsburg just made his super sub, Roord, let her place to Y/n." As a reminder of the start of this second half, all the German fans were chanting your name when you entered the field. You found your position beside your defensive midfielder, and the match started again.

"I have an interesting statistic for you, Dave. Wolfsburg only lost three games this season when they aligned their duo Lena-Y/n. And what is most incredible is that Y/n is a former offensive midfielder, but she didn't struggle to play a little lower on the pitch. She's very versatile."

Yeah, it's very incredible, but you know what is very unbelievable?" 

"No what?" 

Is it that since they became pro, the Putellas sisters have played more against each other than with each other."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, Y/n played for Levante until the last season, but she played only four games with her big sister on the pitch in Barcelona."

"It's quite funny because when we saw them playing together, it was almost like they had done it all their lives."

"Yeah, but I see almost the same result this season between Lena and Y/n, like now."

You recovered the ball, dribbled Aitana, and passed to Lena before being stopped by Keira. The German gave it back to you just perfectly in front of the penalty, and that led to you shooting and hitting the crossbar.

"She was so close to scoring only after five minutes of her appearance in this match."

"I think Tommy Stroot made a great choice to sub her on now; like we said earlier, even if she played alongside Oberdorf, she's a former offensive midfielder, which means that she can contribute to the offensive task. But she also gives hope to the team and their supporters; I think it's important too."

A few minutes later, Lena recovered the ball pretty high on the pitch and gave it to Sveindis, who made an incredible run, followed by Rolfö, but managed to cross it in the box, where you pushed it into the net with a big header.

"Ooh, what a goal! Y/n just scored a beautiful header, reducing the gap between the two teams."

"I wanted to say that the defense was too chill, but her placement was just perfect. She was quicker than anyone on this action, and I think it's not too bad to say she's quicker than anyone since she's here. She scored a striker's goal."

After thanking the Icelander and hugging some teammates, you were ready for the rest of the game. The game was more tense. The Barcelona players pushed really hard, but you were almost suffocating all their actions with Lena. Talking about action, your team just got one after a great save from Frohms, who kicked the ball far away. You controlled it and looked around to find yourself almost alone on the right side of the pitch, which means if you want to find a way to be in a good position to shoot, you have to use your left foot.

Alexia knew that; she was the one who praised you when you became more skilled than her, and what helped you was your ability to use both feet almost perfectly. Patri otherwise seemed to forget that because she was surprised when she got nutmegged; Rolfö just behind her tried to surprise you, but she got crocheted. You were running to the box, and when Mapi came to stop you, you noticed Popp alone was not offside yet, so you just lobbed the defender, and your captain controlled it perfectly. And she didn't miss her 1v1 with Paños.

"And Alexandra Popp for the equalizer!"

"What beautiful action from Y/n. She totally danced with her ex-teammates; she reached another level in this final."

You wanted to apologize to Patri, but you were stopped by the tall body of your captain, who pulled you into a tight hug. You laughed when she let you go, but not before she messed up with your hair like she had loved to do since the start of the season.

"I think we can say that Y/n is literally the definition of a supersub. She's implied in the two goals that helped Wolfsburg come back in this match. And from her expression, we can think it's not finished yet."

The German fans were chanting your name like you had been in this club for a few seasons now. That made you blush, and you made a heart with your hand to show them your love before the next and hopefully last quarter of the match.

Your sister and her teammates were more nervous and reckless in the last minutes, maybe because of the stress that led to some ugly tackles, which almost made you feel nostalgic about your matches against Georgia Stanway.

"The fourth referee announced 5 minutes of extra time. If Wolfsburg continue like that, maybe they could win in overtime like against Arsenal."

Only five minutes of extra time, despite all the fouls, was a miracle. Barcelona's players were more aware of you, and sometimes you were almost never marked by only one player. But you found a little breach where you forced your passage, and you found yourself trying to keep the ball from your sister and Ingrid. You wanted to pass, but they blocked every angle, so you took some steps back and decided to do it quickly.

You easily erased your sister with a dribble on her wrong side, and the Norwegian received your fourth nutmeg of the match. You wanted to pass to Pajor when you felt something collide against your foot, and you fell to the ground.

"Ouch, it's a pretty bad tackle from Mapi Leon."

///////

You were on the ground with your ankle between your hands, trying to ease the pain, when you heard multiple voices arguing.

"Hey, are you crazy?" You recognized Poppi’s voice.

"I didn’t do that on purpose, okay?" Mapi replied.

Lena quickly came to you and tried to distract you while your sister tried not to let your captain hurt her best friend. "Hey, do you hear me?" she asked, and you nodded. "Okay, good. The medics should come in a few seconds. Do you think you can continue the match?"

"Yes, of course." You spoke through the pain, and she nodded. Like she said, the medics came a little after; it was not serious, but it was not a good move from your national teammate. After the approval of the medic, you prepare yourself for the free kick.

A foul in front of the box, not so far, a little on the right side. Svenja took the ball, placed it, and looked at the players in the penalty area. You were still beside her, lightly testing your foot.

///////

"It seems that Y/n and Svenja Huth are talking about who’ll shoot this free kick. It can be the last action of the match. Who should shoot it for you, Selena?"

"Oh, it’s a tough question. We know Svenja can find a teammate in this situation; she took all the free kicks like always, and she was good like always. But, even if the last time she took a free kick was in her time at Levante, Y/n have pretty good statistics on this exercise."

///////

You took two steps back and a step to the left, took a deep breath, and focused on the goal. The referee blew the whistle. Alexia met your gaze; she knew. Svenja raised her left hand to indicate the near post. She started to run but stopped herself in front of the ball. She just took a step to the right, and you made your way to shoot.

Your feet hit the ball, and you saw it fly toward the goal in the opposite upper corner.

///////

"Y/n took the free kick and—she scored! In the last minute of this final, Y/n gave the victory against her former club! It’s totally unbelievable!"

"You say it, Dave! I thought Svenja would shoot it, but she let the young Spaniard, and for her first free kick with the wolves, Y/n just scored a beautiful one! She perfectly hit the opposite corner; Sandra Paños didn’t see it coming. This final is incredible, and this player is incredible. And the referee just blew the end of the match."

"They did it! Wolfsburg are Champions again for the third time in their history!"

///////

All the bench ran to you; you couldn’t process what was happening until you felt yourself being tackled on the ground by Lena, quickly followed by the rest of the team. You did it; you won your first Champions League. The tears started to run down your cheeks, and you wrapped your arms around the defensive midfielder.

"We did it," she said to you, and you nodded. She brushed away your tears and discreetly kissed your cheek.

You wanted to celebrate more, but you noticed your national teammates’ faces. You went to console a lot of them when you spotted Fridolina and Ingrid with Mapi and Alexia. The ex-Wolfsburg players noticed you first and were the first to hug you and congratulate you.

"We told you it'd be a good team for you." The Swedish said, and some tears started to fill your eyes.

"Hey, don't cry. It's okay." The Norwegian said this time, and you just gave her a sob as a response. They broke the little group hug when Mapi came closer to you.

The defender was the next to catch you between her arms. "I'm sorry for earlier." She and you shook your head to let her know that you weren't angry about that. Congratulations, hermanita." she continued.

"Thank you," you replied shyly. The girls patted your shoulders and left to see the rest of the team. It was just you and your sister now. She was crying, of course, and that made you cry too. When she noticed your tears, she just opened her arms wide, and you filled the space.

"You did it," your sister said, and you nodded against her shoulder. "I'm proud of you." She pulled away to look at you. "I meant it; you were the best player today."

"I'm sorry." You said while you were crying, but the captain immediately shushed you and pulled you into another hug.

Hey, no, don't be sorry. It's okay; we lost, and it's frustrating, but you deserve it. Listen," she pulled away from the hug and pointing to the supporters around you. Even some of Barca’s fans were chanting your name. "You proved everyone that you’re more than my little sister; you start to create your own history." You wanted to say something, but you were required to do an interview.

After that, the final ceremony started. You were a little surprised to be the player of the match, but Lena kept saying that it couldn't be anyone except you. While you were talking with the midfielder, Alexandra was talking with your sister. Their conversation was a little interrupted when they saw you chase the German with a big smile.

"Do you think I need to say something?" the Spanish captain asked.

"Not yet," the tall captain replied, and your sister nodded.

This third June, despite what everyone thought before this final, you led the Germans to number one in Europe. Your dreams came true.

[justapigeonn]

DOTC REWRITE/AU

Ok so I know I said I'd never do an actual rewrite for DOTC but after some thinking I honestly couldn't help myself so here;s a megadump of some of the changes I'd make:

Turtle Tail and Bumble would escape the twoleg house together after she becomes pregnant and Tom shows his ugly side

2. Gray Wing actually realises he was the reason Turtle Tail left in the first place and apologises for being a twat

3. With Turtle tail's help, Bumble convinces the moor cats to let her stay, but she soon discovers that she's not cut out for their way of life so Turtle Tail takes her to River Ripple to live with him and his colony and she becomes a seasoned river dwelling cat. She ends up living a long, peaceful, happy life and she and Turtle tail visit each other regularly

4. Tom eventually shows up to demand Turtle Tail's kits. He ends up finding the hollow by actually scenting them out as opposed to Gray Wing doxing them out of sheer stupidity and attempts to sneak into camp and take them, but Turtle Tail intercepts him and kills him where he stands

5. This is a big one that may spark controversy but SkyClan does not exist and Clear Sky never gets to be leader. He proves time and time again even after the battle that he is not worthy of being one, let alone a FOUNDER by any stretch of the imagination. He continuously demonstrates irresponsibility, is unnecessarily controlling and cruel, even to the cats he's supposed to care about and only seems to get his shit together in the very last book, long after he should have 'learned his lesson'. He never changed and should never have been given the countless chances to redeem himself. Instead, after the battle he is stripped of his leadership role by StarClan and the other founders and the forest cats fall under Thunder's authority instead, who leaves the moor after the battle to be where he truly wants to be. Clear Sky is allowed to join his ranks but he does so with the utmost resentment and bitterness. When One Eye and Star Flower enter the scene, One Eye takes advantage of his hatred and convinces Clear Sky to spy on and betray Thunder's group with the promise of him joining his rogue group and earning a position of power by his side and Clear Sky accepts (you have full permission to interpret this as gay) while Star Flower grows close to Thunder as she does in canon, manipulating him from the side line. At some point along the line Clear Sky outs himself and Star Flower and he joins One Eye's group before having a change of heart while Star Flower has her own redemption and blah blah blah still working on it). Clear Sky realises that being a meanie head ain't it, turns against One Eye and his rogues and supports his son wholeheartedly etc. At some stage during the final battle Clear Sky is killed by one of One Eye's close supporters as a final sacrifice/attempt to redeem himself, though I'm not keen on giving him a particularly heroic death considering how angry Tom's canon death made me so I figured it would be funny of the other settlers were like 'ohh noooo, anyways' with a couple of solemn words as opposed to a whole grievingfest. As for my reasoning for omitting SkyClan completely, half of it is due to the fact that it's basically just defacto ThunderClan except for the fact that they can jump high and hunt in trees, which are easily things ThunderClan can adopt. Firestar's quest and the latter half of AVOS can just not happen which I'm sure not many people will complain about

6. Gray Wing is not a Clear Sky apologist loser and actually resents him for all the grief he has caused

7. Rather than his own big bad, Slash is rather one of One Eye's devoted followers. One ruthless manipulative rogue leader would have been quite enough to serve as the arc's main antagonist for the latter half of it's duration, with better writing they could've spread it out and and left a true impact. Considering have him kill Clear Sky in the heat of the final battle maybe as opposed to giving his slaughter to One Eye

8. Fern and and a few of the other various mistreated rogues still exist, but this time under One Eye's command. She still ends up working with Gray Wing and joining the moor cats along with some of her friends after betraying One Eye

9. Star Flower never becomes Clear Sky's third mate or is reduced to a stock sweet baby mama where her getting kidnapped, abused then giving birth in an inconvenient place is introduced as a form of conflict, but rather reconciles with Thunder and builds on the previous connection they had already established (which would be stronger in my au). He eventually forgives her and they bond over the fact that they have manic shitty bloodthirsty fathers plotting against them and team up to be their foil, eventually becoming mates at the end of the arc.

10. Slate and Violet Dawn do not exist. This isn't because I don't like them as characters but imo never existing in the first place is a far better fate than being last minute underdeveloped love interests for the male protagonists with no other function in the story whatsoever

11. Quiet Rain is not guilted into forgiving Clear Sky for the atrocities he committed on her deathbed by Shaded Moss (who had no business doing so considering the fact that he wasn't a victim of his and she was particularly angry at the fact that he has killed Rainswept Flower who seemingly didn't get a say in the matter)

This was super lengthy and I ended up adding way more than I expected but I do hope to expand on them in the future. There are other things I have issues with such as the way Gray Wing treats Jagged Peak in numerous scenes as well as the overall ableism of the arc but this is all for now :3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

No specific tws, looking for comfort

Deep down I'm terrified of dying alone, but I'm pretty sure that's how I'll end up.

Not only have I never had a stable relationship that lasted over 3 months, but I've lost almost every friend in my life I've known for over two years. I'm horribly unstable, codependent, feel alone and unwanted no matter how much love and attention I'm given, have constant episodes, I'm terrified of commitment. I expect too much from the people around me, I don't know how to take care of myself so It's like I expect others to do that for me. I don't know how to love, I never learned to love. I know I do feel love but I don't know how to show it in a normal human way. I lash out at the ones I care about completely accidentally. Then I beat myself up over it, feel like an asshole, and sabotage everything by distancing myself. Or, if they leave because of my behavior I'll never forgive myself years later.

I'm not liked in high school, I was NEVER liked in middle school or kindergarten. I was aways treated like I'm inhuman (by the other kids, the teachers like me for some reason) and I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me. I've had only one childhood friend who left me after an 8 year long friendship because they got so sick of me.

I bring it down to just being neurodivergency and trauma but it's so so incredibly alienating to live like this.

I don't know how to function in a friendship or relationship because I was never taught to. I've never had the chance to learn because I was always so alone.

I'm so terrified.

Alright anon. You're not going to like my main point here, but I'm going to be real with you.

Before the main point, here are some brief other things I want to say.

1) Therapy. Consider it if possible. Be open with your parent(s) about how you're feeling, and what you need (assuming it is safe to do so). Many therapists offer pro bono to those who can't afford it. Having someone to talk to and lean on can go a long way. They could also help you with social or relationship skills, trauma, or other things you feel you struggle with.

2) Some people aren't meant to stay. Some people are meant to help you grow, or to push you onto a new path, and leave when their job is done. That's okay. Not everyone can stay in your life forever. Learn to let them go when it's time.

Now to the main point which you may not like so much.

You're young. There is so much time to make connections. High school connections very rarely last. I could count on one hand the amount of people I know who have sustained true deep connections from high school.

I know that feeling alone is suffocating, and I know that it hurts to be left out. But I promise you, anon, that you will have so many more opportunities to establish connections as you live out the rest of your life.

With adulthood comes real world experiences, comes autonomy, comes finding your own people outside of from pre-designated pools of people from about four places you go, at least half of which are mandatory. There is so much to life beyond high school.

If I may get a tiny bit personal here, I wasn't exactly Mister Popular in high school either. I had one good friend, and even she spent about half of her time with her other, much larger group of friends. I spent most of my time by myself, buried in depression, dealing with my own shit all alone. And it sucked. I left high school feeling completely hopeless and lost and alone. Then came college. I met so many people, and I had the full autonomy to decide who I let into my life and who I didn't. I got to decide where I spent my time. I got to look up places I wanted to go, organisations I wanted to be involved in, extracurriculars with people that had similar interests, and I got to learn more about myself than I ever did in high school, and I made many more connections. But even then, many didn't last. A little later on, I met my now-spouse, and honestly, I didn't ever think we would date, nonetheless be married. Now, as an adult with a spouse, two children, and a whole life ahead of me... it's insane to think that I ever truly believed I would die alone or unhappy or unloved.

Give it time, anon. Life will give you what you put into it. Give it patience, give it grace, give it time, give it hope. Put yourself out there when you feel it. Tell that person they have a really cool backpack. Compliment that one guy's really awesome haircut. Express how much you like the show or band that person is wearing merch of. Look into local groups of people like you and make an effort to go. For me, it was an lgbtq youth center as a gay college student, and a really funky neurodivergent D&D group as an adult. Maybe those are things that suit you too, or maybe it's a local art class, or a skate park. Who knows. But if you keep following yourself, if you keep going places you want to, doing what you love... you'll meet people who love that stuff just as much as you do. And I'm sure that some of those people will stick around for a while.

You'll be okay, anon. I believe in you.

~ Mod Night

[usaigi]

Chapter 1 - Deal With The Devil

Read on Ao3

Summary (T) Earth 65 AU where Elektra is Daredevil and was hell-bent on killing her ex Matt Murd(er)ock but she’s in therapy now and is channeling her energy into helping Spider-Women defeat him instead. Semi-comics/Marvel movies crossover. Elektra and Matt are mostly based on the Netflix version and Gwen is based on Into the Spiderverse.

In another world it’s Friday evening; Gwen just aced her Physics midterm and is ready to enjoy her weekend. MJ would still be pissed because (somehow) Gwen still managed to be late to band practice. Although Gwen thinks MJ seriously needs to calm down, they’ve been practicing nonstop Gwen’s even practicing in her dreams. MJ annoyed groans would echo in her head, Gwen you’re early, you don’t come in until after Betty. MJ would ask everyone to stay late but Gwen would turn her down, already having promised Peter they’d get takeout and watch a movie. Peter would wait for her at the subway stop, with a wool scarf in his bag because it’s freezing and he knows Gwen is still walking around in a hoodie because she’s too stubborn to wear that embarrassing pink puffer jacket her dad bought her. 

Unfortunately, the real world sucks and she’s not just trash for showing up late to practice. She’s literally trash. In her trash home amongst her trash kin. 

Worst part is she has no one to blame but herself. She’s the idiot who tripped off a building and nose-dived into a dumpster. Which could be worst–she could be red sauce on the ground next to the dumpster. Never in Gwen’s wildest dreams did she think she’d be grateful to be lying in a dumpster on a Friday night instead of falling to her death. 

The slight ringing in her eyes halts as she hears footsteps approach. Quiet, pretend to be a rat, Gwen says to herself. A true New Yorker. 

“Spider-Women? What the hell are you doing in my dumpster?” An unfamiliar voice asks. Slowly, Gwen raises her head and opens her eye and– Fuck. 

Daredevil.

Gwen has heard plenty about the infamous Daredevil. The woman who bought the Kingpin down to his knees and personally delivered his ass to her father, along with a fat stack of incriminating documents to the police precinct and the district attorney’s office. Rumors were even going around that she tied a collar around his neck and made him walk around like a dog when she turned him in, like some sort of dominatrix. If Captain George Stacy wasn’t quite literally her dad, Gwen might have even humored the rumors. 

That’s one of the more fantastical and silly rumors going around about Daredevil, like the rumor that Lea Michelle can’t read. Like, everyone knows it’s a joke but still acts like it’s the truth. The other rumors are less so rumors and more so warnings. 

Those that Daredevil is brutal; brutal enough she might as well be the devil. A demon walking around Hell’s Kitchen. Dangerous. Dynamic. Deadly. According to sources (totally not Reddit), it does not fair well for anyone who stands between her and her swords. 

As much as Gwen respects someone who commits to her branding, she was hoping to avoid Daredevil and her little hand pitchforks sword things for as long as possible. Welp. Too late now.

“What’s it you?”

“My neighborhood. My turf. My dumpster.”

God, she’s scary. And British? Gwen isn’t totally sure, she just sounds ambiguously “posh.” Her sharp voice echoes through the alleyway, bouncing off the walls of dumpster wall, with all the elegance and cadence of the Queen. Barf. Or at least some BBC reporter. Or whatever stuffy British person. Honestly, the only good thing to come from Europe is the Punk movement. 

“You’re so weird about the whole Hell’s Kitchen thing. What happens if someone–”

“If Someone on 60th and Amsterdam get mugged, huh? Baby, trust me I’ve heard this before. If I can help of course I will help. My therapist just encouraged me to have obtainable expectations at work and to not overexert myself. Something you clearly… haven’t learned.” Ok, rude. 

“You’re seriously in therapy? Don’t you regularly beat up guys half to death?”

“Half to death. Pre-therapy they’d just be dead. That’s called personal growth,” she says as she pulls down the scarf covering the lower half of her face, revealing a smug smile. Ugh, of course, her lipstick color is flawless and a perfect swatch of red. She’s silent for a second, tilting her head to the side, before asking, “you finish your homework already?”

“It’s Friday,” Gwen groans. 

“Fair. Though it is past midnight, your parents won’t worry?”

“Nah, Dad’s working today.”

“Ok so high school. Damn, I knew you were young but I expected you to be at least in college.”

Oh shit. Dammit, Stacy! 

“Wait what?” 

“So how long have you been… a crime-fighting spider or whatever. And don’t lie, I can tell,” she says as places her hand on her hips. Wouldn’t be too intimidating if it weren’t of the reflecting bouncing off her silver weapons. 

“Look, I don’t know what your deal is but I’m not interested–”

“My deal is there’s a punk kid running around my neighborhood who’s going to get herself seriously injured or killed if she continues to be this reckless. Not only that, but you’ve been sticking your nose in my shit and I can’t have you fucking it up for me,” she sneers, each word feeling like Daredevil is cutting into her. “But I’m not lying, I’m in therapy. I’m less of a raging bitch now. Me five years ago would use my ninja-spy skills to find everything about you; every weakness, every move, and everything on everyone you’d ever loved just for messing with my shit. Now, I recognize that we both want to help our city in our little way and we’ll be more successful working together.” Damn, the tone shift. From Cersei Lannister to a school guidance counselor in seconds, holy shit. 

“I don’t need anyone to tutor me in the ways of being a superhero, I’m fine on my own. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Is that why you’re in a dumpster?”

“I’m just taking a little break. Self-care.”

“There’s a condom in your hood.”

“What! Ew ew ew ew,” Gwen squeals, bolting upright and jumping out of the dumpster. 

Oddly enough something must have caught Daredevil’s eyes, seeing as she makes her back towards the dumpster, stepping up onto the edge. Daredevil pulls out one of her sword pitchforks and uses the flat side to fish out–Gwen’s smartphone by the key charm. Ahhh. She really can’t do anything right today. 

“Seriously, you’re using your real phone when crime-fighting? Please tell me you’re smart enough to turn off your location,” Daredevil taps something into her phone before tossing it back to Gwen. “Anyways, here’s my number. I’ll train you, I’ll text you tomorrow,” and now she has a vocal fry? Seriously, what’s this lady’s deal? Did one of Kardashian seriously put on a suit to start fighting criminals?  

“Seriously!? You’re just leaving?” Gwen cries out. 

“Work-life balance, babe. I got a photoshoot tomorrow, I need my 8 hours. Go home, you also need it. And take a shower.”

And like that, the Devil disappears into the dark. 

Weird.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Despite being someone living a double life who has high sakes in securing anonymity, Gwen can’t deny her love for TikTok. Well, it’s not that she loved it per se, it’s just that she rarely has time to sit down and read a book or watch an actual TV show. With school and Spider-Women-ing, she barely has time to eat. While a “normal girl” could play youtube videos in the background while working out, she has to go through science flashcards while stretching if she even hopes of getting into college.         

Fifteen minutes. That’s all she’ll give herself. Fifteen minutes to turn her brain off and watch dumb videos. A video by Brenna Lip of some cops jumping the subway turnstile, double tap scroll, a recommendation to a new ramen restaurant, scroll, a video of herself swinging through Manhattan, nice. 

Then she freezes.

It’s the girls. Betty is holding a microphone and lip-syncing to trending audio by Elektra Natchios. ‘What’s your ideal man like?’ Betty asks before the camera turns to MJ, as she confidently brushes her hair back and says , ‘Funny. He has to have a really good sense of humor. But he can’t be broke. Because that’s not funny.’ 

Gwen lingers, letting the video play a couple of times. 

Would they have invited her to make the video if she were still in the band? Do they send each other TikTok ideas in the group chat? Could Gwen have found a way to still be in the band? 

She clicks on the comment button, blankly staring at her keyboard as the video plays over and over in the background. Just say hi. Anything.  

A notification banner breaks her trace, a text message from an unknown number, ‘Meet me at 10’ along with an address in Hell’s Kitchen. 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, she says before tossing her phone on her bed. Time to be a Superhero. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

If anyone asks, Gwen’s only going because she’s curious. And that’s also why, for the first time in her life, she might actually be early to something. Shocker, right? Because like, what can Gwen really expect to learn from Daredevil; how to torture bad guys or something? Ok, maybe Gwen can learn a thing or two from her considering she personally helped the DA lock up Fisk. That’s probably not something Gwen can learn from YouTube. 

So as Gwen swings through Manhattan and lands on the rooftop, she’s expecting to find stakeout or spy gear or something. Or maybe even a guy tried up to a chimney if there’s any truth to all the rumors about Daredevil being a Satanist. Hopefully not, the Daily Bugle already labeled Spider-Woman a menace, Gwen doesn’t need to also be associated with cultists.   

Reality is someone more unexpected.

There’s no way…What the hell!

Never. Never ever. In a million years did Gwen expect to find fashion model and influencer Elektra Natchios cosplaying as Daredevil at the exact time and place she’s suppose to meet with the Daredevil. Elektra is wearing the same black loose cargo pants, the same black long-sleeve top with red accents and the double DD on the chest, the same utility belt with an excessive amount of pockets, and the same long red scarf flowing loosely from her neck. The red helmet with the icon horn sat by her feet. 

Gwen bets she looks like surprised Pikachu right now. 

“No. Way. You’re Elektra Natchios? You’re Daredevil!?” Surely this is a joke. Surely she’s cosplaying or something. 

“Yeah,” she says, drawing out the vowels before her voice trailed off. Ignoring Gwen's blatant state of disbelief as she bent down to pick up her signature Daredevil helmet. Gwen's jaw just stays open as her brain tries to process it. 

“What the hell is wrong with you!? Aren’t you the daughter of a Greek politician or something!? Aren’t you a model!? You have how many followers on TikTok!? Didn’t you date the Weekend!?” Not that Gwen cares about celebrities and influences or whatever, she’s much more interested in indie rock music, but it’s not like she lives under a rock. Although, the only reason she knows about Elektra is because she says a lot of “relatable” shit in interviews that get turned into memes. That and her hot takes about feminism, classism, and racism that always make their way to her TikTok feed. 

“What about it?” She asks innocently, fluttering her eyes, as if obvious to the absurdity of the situation. 

“Why the hell are you dealing out vigilante justice!?” 

“Why are you?”

“Because I can! Because I have to!”

“No, you don’t. You don’t want to do anything you don’t want to. What’s the real reason?”

This lady can’t be serious. Of course, she did. Or else–

“Because I want to help people because I can help people. Even if the public doesn’t trust me, or label me a criminal or murderer, I have to try,” she says a bit softer, looking down at her feet instead of Elektra’s eyes. Or else Peter’s sacrifice will be in vain.

Elektra doesn’t say anything, letting the sounds of the city speak. That of traffick and the Hudson and people eight stories down. 

When Gwen breathes a little and looks up, Elektra is wearing her helmet. The scarf is still loosely around her neck.

“Cute. I do it for revenge,” she says in her deep scary Daredevil voice. Despite the mask, Gwen can feel Elektra’s eyes staring into her. There’s the devil. 

“Revenge?”

“Yup. My ex-boyfriend killed my dad.”

“Oh that sucks. Wait sorry! That’s insensitive, I mean, that’s horrible. I have no idea, I’m sorry you had–”

“You’re funny,” Elektra laughs, cutting her off. “You’ve heard of Matt Murdock, right? Wilson Fisk’s lawyer.”

“I wish I hadn’t,” Gwen groans, rubbing the back of her neck. She’s not supposed to know but she’s overheard her dad talk about Murdock a couple of times. Apparently a real pain in their ass. 

“You’re going to help me bring him to justice.”

[cheerscoops]

Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham || 1.5k

“So you promise you know how to make snickerdoodles?” Steve asked. “Actual snickerdoodles that taste just as good if not better than the ones from the grocery store bakery?”

“When I said that I knew the best snickerdoodle recipe, I meant that I knew the best snickerdoodle recipe,” Chrissy replied. “These will blow your store bought cookies away. Mrs. Henderson’s going to love them.”

Chrissy and Steve had been hanging out together more often now that they’d rekindled their childhood friendship, and she and Jason had broken up. They’d fallen back into their easy routine of teasing, shared secrets, and weekend hangouts, so when Steve had mentioned that Dustin’s mom had invited him to participate in her annual Christmas cookie swap, she offered to help him bake a batch when she realized he intended on getting store bought ones. Chrissy might not have been encouraged to eat many sweets as a child, but her grandmother had raised her to believe that there was nothing better than a homemade batch of cookies no matter what kind you were making.

Since his parents were out of town for the foreseeable future, Chrissy had invited herself over to help bake the cookies. His parents’ kitchen was much nicer than her own, and they’d be able to work uninterrupted unlike at her house.

“They’ll mean more to her if you can honestly tell her that you helped make them,” she’d told him. “Baking is a labor of love, so this is truly a gift from the heart.”

When she came over that afternoon, she’d pulled her grandmother’s old recipe box out of her bag and flipped through the dozens of handwritten recipe cards until she found the right one. As she did this, she thought about how she should spend a day just organizing the box. She was sure that they were actually organized at one point in time, since the box contained divider tabs for side dishes, desserts, and several other categories, but her grandmother had never been the most organized woman, so she just stuck the recipes back into the box wherever she felt like after she was done with them.

She handed the card to Steve and instructed him to read off the ingredients to her as she floated around the kitchen grabbing everything they’d need from the fridge and various cabinets. She knew his home well enough by now to know where everything was kept, and she’d been smart enough to call him and tell him what ingredients he’d need the day before. Once she’d gathered everything, she hoisted herself up to sit on the edge of the counter next to the stand mixer and turned to him.

“Start baking,” she told him.

“You mean you’re not going to do anything to help?” he asked.

“Consider me a mostly hands off teacher. You’ve gotta do it on your own. Besides, the mixing and measuring part isn’t that hard. I’ll help out if you get stuck, and I promise I’ll show you my technique for actually forming the cookies when you get to that step.”

And Chrissy stayed true to her word. She handed Steve measuring spoons when he needed them, and she kept him from making any unfixable mistakes, but she let him do all of the actual work. Once the dough was finished, she slid off the counter and stood next to him.

“Now, are you ready to learn how to make sure all of your cookies are uniform in size, so they’ll look all fancy and store bought?”

Steve nodded. “I’m ready to learn all of the master’s secrets.”

Chrissy stifled a laugh. “I’m no master,” she told him. “I’ve just had a lot more practice than you.”

“Considering the fact that this is the first time I’ve ever made a batch of cookies myself, you could definitely say that.”

Chrissy opened her bag again and pulled out a large melon baller.

“This is my greatest tool when it comes to baking. I don’t think it’s ever actually been used as a melon baller. It exists only to make uniformly sized cookie balls.”

She plunged the utensil into the batter and pulled out a small scoop which she then dropped into her palm and rolled into a neat little ball. She set that ball on the cookie tray and repeated the process a few more times before handing the tool to Steve.

“Your turn.”

While Steve started making the rest of the dough balls, Chrissy went about mixing together the cinnamon sugar mixture for the cookie coating. And when the cookie dough bowl was empty, she showed him how to make sure that the whole cookie had a perfect coating before placing it back on the cookie sheet. Once again, she demonstrated only a couple of times before stepping aside to let him do the rest. Soon, all of the cookies were done, and they had all of the baking sheets in the oven.

Chrissy hoisted herself back up onto the counter, and Steve moved to sit with her.

“Where did you learn to do all this stuff?” he asked her. “I can barely make boxed mac’n’cheese without setting the kitchen on fire, and you could practically run a bakery from your kitchen.”

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “My nana always said it was in my DNA. She was always in the kitchen when I was growing up, and she taught me everything that she knew. That recipe box is my legacy as a Cunningham woman as ridiculous as that sounds. Most of the recipes were my great grandmother’s, and my nana hand wrote them all as she learned them. She claimed to have the entire box memorized and said I’d do the same one day . . . I’m rambling.”

“You’re not. And it’s fine. I like hearing you talk.”

“You do?”

Instead of answering her, Steve looked Chrissy in the eye and moved to run his thumb across her cheek. When he pulled his hand away, there was a small glob of cookie dough on his finger. She could feel her cheeks burning in embarrassment at the fact that she hadn’t known that was there. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and ate the dough which only made her embarrassment intensify.

“Delicious,” he said with a knowing smirk.

Before she could respond, the oven timer went off. She hopped off the counter and grabbed her oven mitts to remove the cookie sheets from the oven. As soon as she had set them on the counter, Steve tried to grab one, but she swatted his hand away with a spatula.

“You have to let them cool first,” she said as she started transferring the cookies onto her cooling racks. “You’ll get to try them when we’re packing them up for the party.”

“You really can’t let me have one now?”

“If I remember correctly, when your nanny would babysit us, she could barely take the cookies out of the oven before you’d eaten half of them.”

“And who do you think was eating the other half?” he asked with another knowing smirk.

“That’s irrelevant. I learned self-control.”

Steve feigned offense and hopped off the counter.

“I’ll have you know that I have loads of self-control,” he said as he moved to stand next to her.

“Oh yeah, since when?” She turned to face him and realized just how close he was to her for the first time. There were barely two inches between them, and she had to look up a bit more than usual to meet his eye. He was only about eight inches taller than she was, but it seemed like so much more when they were this close together.

“Since always.” He had one hand on each side of her resting on the counter behind her and effectively trapping her against it. Things had been getting more flirtatious between them lately, but this was bringing their playful banter to an entirely new level that it had never reached before. It would have been so easy for her to just reach up and kiss him if she wanted to, and she definitely wanted to. Not a kiss on the cheek like she’d done many times throughout their childhood, but a real kiss. One that would make her toes curl and her heart beat faster.

But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be the one to take it to the next level. Not when they were just starting to be friends again. She didn’t dare do anything to jeopardize that.

“Could’ve fooled me,” she told him.

“Maybe you’re right,” he said as held up the cookie he’d just stolen from behind her back. “Some things are just too tempting.”

He took a bite out of the cookie and smirked at her as he chewed.

“You’re evil,” she said as she turned away from him and back towards her cookie trays.

“Only when I want to be.”

[senpaiiventblog]

5 / 25 / 2024

(couldn't reblog the post, so I took a screenshot of it)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This post made me genuinely cry.

I cannot properly express how much I needed this post, and to be told this in these exact words. My trauma is very specific, so certain tones/words really effect how I will react to someone. And if they are trying to help me, THIS is how I want it to be told. I want it to be with sweet but strict words, I want the person to say they genuinely care and they see the issue and they are listening to me. If I don't hear that, I will assume the person is going to legit hurt me and I will get immediately defensive. And I know it's wrong to assume the worst out of others, but my brain can't tell the difference between genuine help and someone screaming at me (because again with the trauma when I feel attacked I think the person is yelling at me).

But this post helped me learn a new perspective, that I've literally been 'comfort rotting' most of my life. And it is 100% a trauma response in my case, if I didn't have my interests/hobbies I'd be long since dead from suicide. And it is true, I don't even feel like I'd stick around for my loved ones because I see my existence as a curse that is only meant to harm them. And though I know they say different, that my life does have meaning, I just don't feel the same way as them. Because every single day, I have to wake up and keep myself from just staying in bed all the time (which 90% of the time doesn't work) and I have to remind myself to eat. And that's not even getting into things like showers or brushing my teeth.

I am truly a mess of a person. I am 27, I have disabilities that make me unable to have a normal job, and I am 'too young' for anyone to believe that I am truly in need of help. And what's worse is these stupid 'waiting games', where I just sit around and twiddle my thumbs in the hopes that things go alright. Because I'm the type of person who does prefer immediate action, having to wait more than a day or two to see if I'll get any help (or even a job) literally makes me go insane with panic. Too many times have I waited MONTHS, only to find out that the help I was hoping to get was revoked and now I'm back at square one. Oh, and with the current state of the US as a whole, I'm even more terrified now that I'll end up on the streets because they're trying to take away things like disability entirely.

But, I guess I do have one thing keeping me going still. I just think of what Deku would say/do if he saw my situation. I know it's a very cringe thing to do, but honestly it's saved my sanity more times than I'd like to admit. And truth be told, I know he'd tell me to keep on trying - that he is proud of how far I've come, and how much it shows my strength against the odds. I honestly wish anime characters like him were real, maybe the world would be a much better place if we had Deku in charge of things. But keeping this in mind, I have promised myself that I'd try just for him. If I can't do it for myself or my loved ones, the least I could do is try to make Deku proud of me.

EDIT: So I just learned that there is a type of autism called 'ADF' or 'APD' (can't remember the exact acronym) and it basically explains how I react to tone and why I have specific trauma with it. So Imma look into it more.

[te1escope-eyes]

Feeling kind of low today, so self pity blogging ahead.

Starting positively, there are so many good people in my life. I'm fortunate to have the friends I have and the support network I have.

But, not to sound like a high school cliche, I'm so sick of fakes, flakes, and users. Both romantically and in friendships, I'm sick of people that just want me around when it's convenient for them and discard me.

I have one friend I'm trying to... slowly distance myself from because their energy is constantly draining. They are always at like 90% anger capacity over absolutely nothing. I understand emotional regulation can be hard, but they don't want to change or hear they're wrong, ever. If they're in the wrong, they change their story. Also, this person actively talks trash about me, and has lied multiple times to try to get extra money out of me. I'm not a tit-for-tat kind of person with money, but the lying part really pisses me off. I should probably just tell them what I think and cut them out, but they're not always a bad person and I just don't have the energy for the fallout.

I have another friend, or something, that I met on a dating app. She wanted to keep things casual, which was fine, but actually acted very clingy towards me until she found someone she actually wanted to commit to, and since then it's been almost radio silence. For someone that said she didn't want a relationship with me because she didn't want to fuck up having me in her life, she was so quick to discard my friendship. Like, we're not /not/ friends, but now she's able to disengage. I haven't tried to push it into anything more than friendship since she established that boundary. And now I have this girl that I matched with 2 months ago that messaged me out of the blue on Friday. She's cute so I chatted with her a ton this weekend, but I can already see the red flags I learned from my last relationship. I show someone basic kindness and human decency and they think I'm like, this magical love of their life. Until they get used to me. Full disclosure that I used to honestly be a bit manipulative about this. I thought I could get people to stay if they just remembered how nice I am. And I do still value being nice, obviously. But I want someone to like me for me. I don't want someone to stay for the kindness, or my attention, or the sex. I want them to care about the entire person behind that. Idk. Similarities she has to my last girlfriend just really freaked me out. Because last November, I really, really got my heart shattered. I had better tools to manage it than I ever had in the past, and I didn't come out of it hating myself like I had in the past, and I'm proud of myself for that. I'm proud that I don't base my entire sense of self around who loves or doesn't love me anymore, but it still does hurt. I touched on this a little last night, but I wish people wouldn't throw around the forevers and "you're different" crap. I wish people could see themselves falling into the same cycles. I'm trying to break mine. I won't let people promise me forever, especially not quickly. I won't let people say I'm perfect. Not because I have low self esteem, but because it's not true. And if you think your partner is perfect, you're looking at them through rose colored glasses that are going to hurt you both. Not even about that though, I'm just sick of people only reaching out when they're bored or lonely or whatever. I know people can't be there for me 24/7, and I don't expect them to. But I'm tired of one sided friendships. I feel crummy and bitter today over something stupid that I saw. I think I'm also just sleep deprived and it's affecting my mood.

[heathernyb]

I read a post by one of my favorite follows on IG tonight , Mallory Ervin , and felt inspired to journal our love story too . You scroll Instagram and everyone seems to have these perfect sparkly love stories and I’m guilty of posting just the oh sooo good too . But our story hasn’t always been easy .

12 years ago I found myself sitting on the floor of my shower with tears streaming down my face begging God to show me where I was supposed to be . Single mom of 2 kids , no college degree , multiple failed relationships , no career , and honestly completely lost in every sense . I didn’t know who I was anymore . I had made horrible choices and I was at rock bottom as the result of those poor choices . I will never ever forget that day because I literally gave God every single ounce of myself . I left a relationship I knew I never even wanted to be in in the first place, I focused on my kids , spent more time with family , and within 2 weeks of that day on a Sunday afternoon my cousin came into my aunt and uncles house and told me she had just passed Eric on the road . She had me look him up on Facebook (I thought he was cute) so I finally got up the courage to send him a message . He had no idea who I was but my cousin had said he was single and just moved to Sheridan so he might be a good person to hang out with in my free time . He said sure , he loved friends , but didn’t want a relationship . He asked me to hang out and I pretended I was busy . Eventually we did hang out and became fast friends , even started dating a few months later . He also tried to break up with me but we got back together . 6 months later engaged , and a year later married . You know what though ? Marriage didn’t come easy for us in those early years . I still had a lot of shit I needed to deal with and I thought Eric was supposed to save me . It was a lot of pressure on him , not to mention he went from a bachelor to instant family of 4 pretty darn quickly . We had a LOT of growing pains . I’m pretty sure we even threw the D word around a time or 2 ! We stuck it out and a few years went by and I was ready for a baby . My husband said we weren’t . I was heart broken and again made some horrible choices . Through our pain we still chose each other along with a therapist and finally worked through our shit . Today we will tell you - had we not gone through that , we wouldn’t be as strong as we are today . We’ve now had 2 more babies and have a marriage that is healthy , happy , and full of love . We’ve learned to respect each other , listen to each other , work as a team , support each other , have each others backs , and we never ever say the D word even on the really hard days . I always say our love isn’t perfect but it’s soooo good because it is . But that good good love didn’t come without a lot of bumps and challenges . I’m just so thankful we never gave up.

I tell Eric all the time I hope things never change because I love him so much. Some days I’m not sure how I ended up with such a dang good guy but all I can say is it was Gods doing . It’s the only thing that makes sense . I was a hot mess so he knew I needed someone who had their shit together . Tonight I asked him to promise me he will never stop loving me like this + he promised me and I know his promises stay true . I guess my whole point of this is 1. God is good so trust Him and 2. Don’t give up on love because it might just find you after you pick yourself up off the bathroom floor and wipe the tears running down your face . I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have this life I’m blessed to have but here I am . Truly happy and more in love than ever . 💛

[zeke-ewan]

Anyone else remember "The Guild"?

Wonderful web series that I hope helped Felicia Day skyrocket to more screens. I have honestly spent so much time listening to "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar" on repeat

It was around the same time I got hooked into deep-cut pop cult-ure online, and honestly it was pretty wild but also wholesome.

Another notable nodstalgia to Parry Gripp - "Girl at the Video Game Store", a particularly relatable song back when I was a girl who worked at a video game store. Now I'm a guy who worked at a video game store lol.

Where was I going with this? Oh right! The thing about "The Guild" that made it so easily relatable, was that they never to my memory actually mentioned "the game" they were playing. I personally was trying to de-toxify my WoW relationship at the time, and felt seen and related to.

So with what I'm writing, and I'm sorry if you've tried to encourage me to work on something else, and I thank you for trying to help motivate me. Part of this arduous journey is learning when I should stay the course and when I should veer laterally to something entirely different.

The reason I made this post, is that what I am writing involves a person with an undisclosed mental health condition. And I desire to keep that vague, on purpose.

One reason is just like The Guild, I want people to be able to relate to the protagonist, who is ideally, a quality representation of the struggles of mental health, without excluding those who resonate with a particular symptom, but haven't "collected" that diagnosis.

Diagnosis didn't save me; support did. And I have no idea what kind of support I actually have, I can only assess what is in front of me. So what am I going to do with that?

Hopefully, make good art.

So if you'd like to see something in a protagonist who wants to show the world just what we can do... well, perhaps pop a reply, or an ask. What am I wanting you to "ask"? Well, I've actually got plenty of questions to see us going for a while, so if you don't mind, please let me know what experience of living with severely-affecting mental health conditions would you like to see in a story? I have no idea if I will even finish a book or pilot pitch, but I'm sure as heck going to start. Care to join me? Then please, imagine, feel, think, deduct, and send the ask. What's the worst that could happen? I promise if you're respectful, I'll be respectful.

And if no one takes me up on this? Well, I'll just keep on writing, and maybe you'll see this as part of an article or something. Oh well ^_^ Thanks for reading, if you did. I'm hesitant to post anything on here that is actual content, as recently everything I've thought of has been turned into something already, and I'm unable to draw true correlation of course, but sometimes I suppose I should keep my cards to myself, lest there be spying eyes algorithms trying to nick my ideas lol. Or was that the last of my recent paranoid episode finally fading out? I sure hope so.

[beels-burger-babe]

I Burn For You

***So THIS has been stuck in my head all day and I just- I love it. I love it so much. And it reminded me...So you guys all know how I hate/love Lucifer...it gave me those vibes. So........... Well I haven't written anything actually relevant to The Facade of the Suitor or anything else that I've been procrastinating, I have been able to push out this little short inspired by this beauty of a duet that is EVERYTHING to me. -B***

Summary: Since MC's arrival, Lucifer and them have never fully gotten along. There was always a large, unknown and undiscussed tension between them and they were fine to keep it that way. But when MC's security in the Devildom is threatened by both the angels and the nobility of the Devildom itself, everything changes. As a ruse to persuade the celestial realm, MC and Lucifer wed. After the ceremony, they finally talk about the unacknowledged feelings burning inside of both of them.

MC x Lucifer

The air hung heavy and thick like the gold bands that now decorated both of your fingers.

You and Lucifer stood on opposite sides of the room, your backs facing one another with nothing but silence between you.

You couldn't help but reminisce on how you got here, on your supposed 'honeymoon' married to none other but the prideful, arrogant, avatar of sin, Lucifer Morningstar himself.

Diavolo had burst into the House of Lamentation an entire month ago. He desperately explained how the angels had received word about you through the fond, innocent-intending, stories of Luke and we're demanding that you be 'released' from your 'imprisonment in the infernal Devildom and that they wished to cleanse you of the 'hellish corruption' the demons had 'forced upon you' through your pacts. Wanting to avoid yet another Celestial War, even on a small scale, the noble court had wanted to agree and simply hand you over to them, cut your pacts, and banish you from returning as an act of agreement and co-operation with the angels.

Obviously, this didn't sit well with you or any of the brothers.

You had all tried to come up with a number of plans, but they all promised retaliation from the angels.

Eventually, it was Lucifer himself who begrudgingly came up with the final plan. The angels wouldn't believe you if you simply told them that you liked it here and wanted to stay. They'd think you were charmed or manipulated. However, if the two of you worked together, and pretended to be in a relationship, convince the angels of your 'genuine' feelings and prove to them that you were in love, and finalize this by marrying Lucifer, it just might work.

First of all, love was something that had sparked war in the past, that both sides had learned from and had grown to deeply treasure and value. Secondly, Micheal, head Archangel of the Celestial Realm, trusted Lucifer the most of all the brothers. The two of you could take advantage of that use it to convince him that you were actually safer in the Devildom by Lucifer's side. And finally, if you were willingly bound by marriage, there was very little that the Celestial Realm could do to force you to leave.

The plan wasn't terrible, but there was one thing about it that caused you to clench your fists and grind your teeth: it was with Lucifer.

Lucifer who constantly teased you and pushed your buttons in a way that he knew would cause you to either give in to him or snap.

Lucifer who was cruel and sadistic and did nothing unless there was some personal gain or it was under the demand of his precious Diavolo.

Lucifer who never ever put anything before his own stupid pride.

Though you were normally a calm and positive person, there was just something about Lucifer that had always caused an inferno of anger and rebellion to burn within you. You felt this strong need to constantly prove him wrong and to defy him.

As a result, the two of you consistently butted heads, arguing about Lucifer's treatment of his brothers and your recklessness on an almost weekly basis.

The idea of being chained to this...this demon for the rest of your mortal life caused your stomach to twist tightly into knots. Though, if it ensured you'd be able to stay with the rest of your found family? You'd make the necessary sacrifice.

So the two of you did the whole show. You went on dates, smiled and laughed together as though you were the lead roles in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and played every card in the book to convince the angels that you were safe and happy under the kind watch of your lover.

Those weeks had started off painful, as you pushed back all feelings of disdain for the eldest brother to play the role of the perfect partner. But as time passed, you hadn't noticed that it had become easier and easier to stay by his side. The smiles you gave him were no longer forced, but sincere ones that brought joy. The lines between what was real and what was fake began to blur.

You sealed the deal with your wedding only a few hours ago.

The vows Lucifer had spoken...promising to watch and protect you even as your skin wrinkled and your hair grew grey. To hold your hand and aid you when you no longer had the strength. To shower you in love and devotion even in your final hours.

They had been spoken with such passion and raw emotion that you didn't dare think too deeply about. It had caused your breath to catch in your throat, and you had to remind yourself that this was all an act. Soon the curtain would close, and Lucifer would return to the cold-hearted monster that you knew.

Yet even now, hours after the ceremony had finished, you couldn't get that intense gaze, and the sparks that exploded under your fingertips as his hands gently squeezed yours, out of your head.

Lucifer sighed from the other side of the room and glanced over at you. "Are we just going to continue ignoring each other?"

You scoffed and turned your head further away; ignoring the loud pounding of your heart and instead focusing on the flickers of frustration licking up your gut. "What else are we supposed to do? There's no one else around. The act is over."

You whirled around at his sarcasm and could practically feel the wrath blazing behind your eyes. "Sorry, my Lord, if I'm not exactly giddy about the fact that I just signed myself to the likes of you just for the approval of some fluffy winged assholes!"

You could practically hear Lucifer roll his eyes as he walked over to the liquor cart and poured himself a drink. "Right. So you just plan to spend the entirety of the weekend that Micheal paid for us brooding in a corner? How mature of you."

Lucifer, the fucker, had the gull to act unphased and casually swirled his drink in his hand. "It could be much, much worse," he took a sip of the amber liquid before staring down in his glass. "It's not as though you didn't agree to this."

"Only because I didn't want to be kicked out of the Devildom and never allowed to see your brothers again!" You growled. Your anger only grew as you noticed him clench his fingers tighter around the glass. You groaned and ran a hand through your hair. "This was a stupid plan! You probably just invented this entire ruse as yet another way to get under my skin. Well congratulations, Lucifer. You win!"

You refused to look at him, as you turned your heated gaze out the window.

You didn't see the flash of hurt that washed over his expression, nor hear the way his breath caught in his throat. "Is being married to me truly that awful? Are you honestly telling me that you haven't enjoyed even a single second of this past month?"

You tensed and crossed your arms over your chest, as you continued to avoid looking at him. "What kind of question is that? You're a demon who cares about nothing but himself," you pursed your lips and mentally tried to deny just how wrong those words felt on your tongue.

"I wouldn't say that's true. Believe it or not, I do care for my brothers." There was a shaky breath, one so uncharacteristic for the confident Morningstar, before he continued. "And you. I did promise to love you until your final breath after all, and I do not break my promises."

There was silence once again. Though this quiet seemed to crackle with the anticipation for something, though neither of you quite knew what.

You closed your eyes, refusing to acknowledge the flutter in your heart at his words. "Those vows were only part of the act. They weren't real."

"Perhaps not for you," your eyes snapped open at the response. You looked back at the demon. Lucifer stood leaning against the wall, drink still in hand, as he stared intensely at the floor. "This may have all been an act for you, MC, but it stopped being a ruse for me mere hours after we began."

You felt yourself frown as you stared at him. Your traitor heart dared to grow warm with hope, only adding fuel to the growing frustration inside you. "You're lying. You're just trying to get me worked up again."

"Actually, I'm not," his eyes met yours and it felt as though time froze. His expression was so unguarded, so honest. For once, you looked into his eyes and you could see every emotion that he wore openly before you. You could see the hurt, the certainty, and most of all the same passionate love that shone so brightly in them throughout the ceremony. "From the moment I met you, you caused a fire to ignite in my heart. I was determined to control you and to make you be the human representative for Diavolo. But then, you acted against me, and that changed. I still wanted to make sure that you fulfilling your purpose in the exchange program, but I took on the challenge of finally having you respect and listen to me. You were stubborn and fierce, yet so beautifully driven and I admired that." your eyes widened at the admission. "It wasn't until I was forced to look at you in a romantic light for this scheme that I understood the true nature of these feelings. It wasn't that I wanted to control you, or break you, or shape you into what I needed. It was so much deeper, so much more dangerous than that. I wanted to have you fall in love for me, as I had fallen for you, and make you mine."

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I know you don't feel the same. I've accepted that. But I...I'm done with acting like this isn't real for me. I refuse to pretend that there's nothing there between us any longer."

He finally broke eye contact, looking back at his now empty glass as you practically gaped at him. Love. Lucifer...loved you? You gulped and took a step towards him, "Lucifer..."

The fire burning within you consumed you as your face heated up. "You...You love me? You actually love me?"

You flinched as he glared sharply at you. "Don't rub it in."

You didn't know what to make of that. You weren't sure what to make of any of this. Your feelings towards Lucifer had changed over the past month, but you had assumed that was simply part of the act. But if everything he had done and said as you two were pretending to be a couple was real, then what did that mean for you?

What did that mean for the way the sight of him caused your heart to skip? Or the way his rare smiles never failed to make you smile back? Or the unwavering sense of comfort and security that he provided?

What did that mean for the ruthless, scalding fire that he had always caused to rage inside you? You always assumed it was anger, but what if...

You gasped in realization. "I burn for you."

The demon tensed as he blinked in confusion. "You...I'm sorry, you what?"

You moved closer to him, each step more certain than the last, as you shakily spoke the words that rang through you. "I burn for you, Lucifer. I don't know entirely what it means myself, but ever since we met you've caused this irrational passion and drive to sear inside of me. I-I had always assumed it was hatred. You're so infuriating. Every word you speak does nothing but cause that fire to flare brighter within in. Every action leaves me filled with sparks of restless energy that won't be satiated until I combust at you," as you now stood nearly toe to toe with him, you grabbed his hand and placed it over your roaring heart. Hope flickered like a candle in the darkness of his black eyes. "I had thought that this couldn't be anything other than anger and hatred. I refused to believe even the possibility that it could be anything else. But this past month you...you were honest and almost kind and vulnerable. Your teasing didn't make me want to punch you, but rather made me laugh. You showed me a side of you that I didn't even know existed. I...I think-"

You were cut off by a finger on your lips. Lucifer looked down at you with a stern, cold expression. The action paired with that face would've caused you to become infuriated by his audacity and superiority complex in the past. But now you could see past it, and could see it for what it truly was: a carefully crafted barrier that hid his most vulnerable feelings and protected him. "If you do not mean the words you were about to say, if you are pitying me, I must demand that you stop here. Do not say those words unless you truly mean them," his deep voice was tinged with distrust and caution.

You held his gaze as you kissed the pad of the finger against your lips and whispered gently, "Lucifer, I think that I love you."

Suddenly your lips were captured in his as he pulled you close and ever so adoringly cupped your face. For the first time since meeting him, the flames inside you were extinguished by the cold touch of his hands on your face and the surprising gentleness of his affection.

His hand slid from your face and came to rest on your shoulder as his eyes widened. His gaze scanned your expression for any traces of falsehood or insincerity. You could hear the breath leave his lungs as he found none.

He softly kissed his temple, effectively hiding his face as it grew redder and whispered, "Of course, beloved."

Lucifer laughed as he pulled away, his thumb caressing your cheek, as he smiled. "To think it only took us getting married to realize it," you laughed as you felt happy tears prick the corners of your eyes. Lucifer sighed in content as rested his forehead against yours. "Remind me to send a thank you to, Micheal."

You hummed and nuzzled closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Forget Micheal. He's still an asshole as far as I'm concerned. Instead, focus on me. On us. I want to learn everything about you, about the real you," you smiled as he looked down at you with flushed cheeks. "My husband, Lucifer Morningstar."

You couldn't help but wonder how you had been so oblivious to your true feelings as a shiver ran down your spine and warmth spread throughout your chest simultaneously.

This honest and pure love between the two of you, was new, yet it felt so familiar, and it was abundantly clear to both of you that the depth of those feelings would only become clearer and clearer in time as the fires of your love only grew.

***Gasp. I actually finished something. Would you look at that. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little fic! Thank you so much for your support during my hiatus and for being so understanding. I love you guys! Thanks again for reading!***

Taglist: @thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @lovelymushi @victoireshaven @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @poly-bi-mf @armycandy10 @burrixino

[edenmemes]

skyward sword sentence starters

more to be added !

❝ you promised to meet me before it starts, remember? ❞ ❝ you seem pretty...relaxed about the whole thing. ❞ ❝ is something wrong? what’s the hurry? ❞ ❝ sometimes i just don’t know what’s going on in your head. ❞ ❝ i'm not like you. i fail at everything i try. ❞ ❝ a shrimpy boy like you hardly looks the part of a hero. ❞ ❝ swatting a few monsters will be no trouble for you. ❞ ❝ run and play this time. get in my way again, though, and you’re dead. ❞ ❝ don’t even pretend that was an accident! ❞ ❝ do you doubt these eyes? i look upon your shirt and i see a single thread loose on your sleeve stitching. ❞ ❝ this is no place for one such as you. and yet here you stand. ❞ ❝ i need to vent all this unhealthy anger,     and your agony is such a great stress reliever. ❞ ❝ remember what we discussed. restrain yourself. focus on the task at hand. ❞ ❝ do my words anger you? do my words sting? let them. ❞ ❝ you don’t come by here just to see me, do you? ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? you just made a face like you wanted to say something. ❞ ❝ oh, i get it. you’re trying to weasel out of having to practice. ❞ ❝ i guess it’s not all bad. at least i’m getting paid. ❞ ❝ there’s something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about.... ❞ ❝ would you wake up, straighten up, and grow a backbone already? ❞ ❝ nice try, but you’re not fooling me. ❞ ❝ i...i have to go. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ folks were always cheering me on like it was a parade. but as you know, time passes. ❞ ❝ you keep some very strange company, friend. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if it’s safe yet...i’m going to stay here awhile longer. ❞ ❝ oh no. you’ve done it now! there’s no escaping this one! ❞ ❝ so, what now? are you going to cry? ❞ ❝ i can’t begin to tell you how sorry i am for pulling you into all of this. ❞ ❝ what is wrong with you? just look at what you’ve done! ❞ ❝ what we’ve seen here today defies explanation. ❞ ❝ you put up more of a fight than i would have thought possible out of such a soft person. ❞ ❝ did you really just draw your sword? foolish. ❞ ❝ should you heed the call of destiny,     i don’t know what dangers you may have to face. ❞ ❝ i can’t help being such a coward...i’m really sorry. ❞ ❝ i fear i spent far too long teasing and toying with you. ❞ ❝ you do your people proud. ❞ ❝ how long do we have to live in constant fear? ❞ ❝ i'll just beat you within an inch of your life! ❞ ❝ dawn is drawing near. it has been a long night for the both of us, hasn’t it? ❞ ❝ you were limp and unconscious. i feared the worst. ❞ ❝ what do you think you’re doing sneaking out with that? ❞ ❝ such a beautiful day, but we’re too busy to enjoy it. some things never change. ❞ ❝ i guess you’ll never learn unless you run into trouble one day. ❞ ❝ look at my face. if that’s your idea of a joke, i’m not laughing. ❞ ❝ you appeared to be relishing that snooze, so i declined to wake you. ❞ ❝ huh? oh, uh, nothing. really, i was, uh...talking to myself. ❞ ❝ you’re looking a little pale... ❞ ❝ i imagine you and i will cross paths again. until then, do not lower your guard. ❞ ❝ you certainly are persistent... ❞ ❝ all that may be well intentioned and true, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. ❞ ❝ i’m prepared to pay the price for what i’ve done. ❞ ❝ i had no idea we were fated to carry such a heavy destiny. ❞ ❝ i need your strength to tip the scales in our favor. ❞ ❝ all this training, and no results! ❞ ❝ all i’ve hears so far is a bunch of babbling about destiny,     but that’s a load of garbage. ❞ ❝ when night draws her tenebrous curtain across the sky, i come here. ❞ ❝ what in the world just happened? did you use some kind of magic? ❞ ❝ please, see it through and prove the legends true. ❞ ❝ i was happy just spending my days hanging around with you. i wanted that feeling to last forever. ❞ ❝ you are vital to a mission of great importance. ❞ ❝ the chances of that happening are just about less than zero. ❞ ❝ i hate to break it to you, but today’s the day i bust up this adorable little fantasyland you’re living in. ❞ ❝ this is a war, and the fate of the land hangs in the balance. ❞ ❝ i know you, and you’re no hero. ❞ ❝ you’re messing with me. say it again, i dare you. ❞ ❝ you float through life with your head in the clouds. ❞ ❝ i don’t do charity for wimps. ❞ ❝ what’s this...? what is it that my eyes behold? ❞ ❝ don’t even think about it! are we clear? ❞ ❝ the point is your work here is done. i got it covered from here. ❞ ❝ my eyes foresee a hazardous, thorny road ahead for you... ❞ ❝ you...this is your fault, you know. ❞ ❝ my heart is bursting with thoughts of you. ❞ ❝ i have a serious dilemma on my mind right now, and you’re distracting me. ❞ ❝ i’ll make you proud. you’ll see! ❞ ❝ feels dangerous. something could jump out at us at any moment. ❞ ❝ we’re talking about a tale that’s been passed down over a lot of years, so i wouldn’t put much stock in it. ❞ ❝ i have the right to experience an unfettered and passionate love, don’t i? ❞ ❝ i’ll tell you, it gives even a big guy like me the creeps. ❞ ❝ oh...how can i get you to notice me? ❞ ❝ i get the feeling nothing i can say will talk you out of it. ❞ ❝ my love for you is wider than the horizon and deeper than the clouds. ❞ ❝ trust my piercing eyes...listen to my pure and innocent voice. ❞ ❝ i feel so excited, so cheerful, so full of life. ❞ ❝ i sense a silent power dwelling somewhere in your frame. ❞ ❝ this turn of events has left me with a strong appetite for bloodshed. ❞ ❝ there’s no doubting it. the gears of fate have begun to turn. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i was lost in thought there for a moment. ❞ ❝ don’t men open doors for a lady anymore? how long am i supposed to stand here waiting for a little chivalry? ❞ ❝ i hate even saying this, but i guess you got it all figured out. ❞ ❝ you must not push yourself. you’re still recovering. ❞ ❝ you think you’re pretty suave, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i know you’re in a hurry, so i really appreciate you taking the time to help. ❞ ❝ i saw it, but i was able to escape by the seat of my pants. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how that made me feel inside? furious! outraged! sick with anger! ❞ ❝ you’re really something else. i could never imagine myself doing what you’re about to do. ❞ ❝ i must aid you in fulfilling the great destiny that is your burden to carry. ❞ ❝ i should have believed you...i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ lately, when i think about you, my head gets all fuzzy, my heart races, i get short of breath, and i feel all dizzy... ❞ ❝ you should know better than that to fret about me. ❞ ❝ thanks for jumping in there to rescue me. ❞ ❝ hey, hold on there! what are you trying to pull all of a sudden? ❞ ❝ your face cries out in earnest wonder, and that cry is: ‘what’s this?!’ ❞ ❝ i promise up front not to murder you. ❞ ❝ you...didn’t hear any of that, did you? there’s no way you heard, right? ❞ ❝ i tell you, all sorts of weird things are going on lately. ❞ ❝ calamitous visions appear before me... ❞ ❝ you...make me so happy...i think i’m going to keel over... ❞ ❝ i wanted you to be the first to see me like this. ❞ ❝ i can’t imagine a more fitting color for you. it’s as though you were born to wear it. ❞ ❝ i bet you can’t even decide what to have for lunch on your own, huh? ❞ ❝ amazing, right? wrong! it is beyond amazing! ❞ ❝ it can’t be easy for you, can it? ❞ ❝ you’ll see in time that you have your own role to play in all this. ❞ ❝ trust in fate to guide your feet. ❞ ❝ i bet you’re here just to check me out, right? ❞ ❝ i just hope nothing has happened. i’m worried sick thinking about it. ❞ ❝ whoa...you’re kind of imploding my mind right now. ❞ ❝ if you wanna live again one day, you should head for home. ❞ ❝ you have a great journey before you, and those clothes...they don’t look up to the task. ❞ ❝ did you manage to get even a wink of sleep last night? ❞ ❝ ever heard of banging your knuckles against the door? it’s called knocking. ❞ ❝ so, uh...yeah. just how long have you been standing there? ❞ ❝ honestly, it’s almost as though you become a completely different person when you worry about me. ❞ ❝ you showing up here must mean we’re connected somehow. like fate. ❞ ❝ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. ❞ ❝ to tell you the truth, i’m feeling a little frustrated, and right now i just need someone to vent to. ❞ ❝ what’s with you? leave me alone if you don’t want anything. ❞ ❝ hearing that is such a...huge weight off my mind. ❞ ❝ though your journey will put you in harms way, you must endure. ❞ ❝ i'm just deadweight. what kinda use is that to anyone... ❞ ❝ seriously, what is that thing over there?! ❞ ❝ before i say another word, i feel like i owe you an apology. ❞ ❝ during your long journey, you’ve grown so much. ❞ ❝ from the moment i laid my eyes on you, i could tell you had a gentle and generous heart. ❞ ❝ oh dear...i don’t know what’s come over me all of a sudden... ❞ ❝ you don’t appear to have any serious injuries. for that much we can be grateful. ❞ ❝ i can see into those dopey eyes of yours. ❞ ❝ i can finally smile and laugh again! thank you ever so much. ❞ ❝ i think i might of broke something. ❞ ❝ is that it? i thought it was going to put up more of a fight. ❞ ❝ i thought we were goners this time. sort of glad i was wrong about that. ❞ ❝ what? i don’t seem like my usual self? ❞ ❝ this place needs a name. a name fitting for this rugged, adventurous wilderness. ❞ ❝ what were you thinking? you scared a year off my life! ❞ ❝ care to explain just what you meant by ‘our special moment alone’? ❞ ❝ my advice? work hard and wish with all your heart. ❞ ❝ say, you look all flustered. ❞ ❝ i fear we can’t dwell on our success. ❞ ❝ the world is bursting with undiscovered surprises, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ you're not exactly mr/mrs.perfect either, are you? ❞ ❝ this is easily as scary as i thought it would be. ❞ ❝ i swear this neighborhood’s getting crummier every day. ❞ ❝ you ain’t as dumb as you look. ❞ ❝ i was going to ask if you wanted me to take care of you forever... ❞ ❝ i need to learn how to keep these delirious dreams in check. ❞ ❝ maybe you should forget about everything that happened here tonight. ❞ ❝ can you imagine a more gruesome fate? ❞ ❝ there are more monsters about than before, so be careful. ❞ ❝ human desire is an insatiable, fearsome thing. ❞ ❝ i sense an evil presence on the other side of this door. ❞ ❝ you understand, don’t you? i’m not wrong about this, am i? ❞ ❝ i never wanted to lay eyes on you again. ❞ ❝ i would have gotten discouraged if you hadn’t come by to cheer me on. you gave me motivation. ❞ ❝ who do you think you are, getting involved in my business like that? ❞ ❝ i just wish there was more i could do for you... ❞ ❝ i don’t even understand how you could make such a wild accusation! ❞ ❝ it was at that moment i finally realized. i realized that...i love you. ❞ ❝ make sure you come home every now and then. nothing like a good sleep in your own bed. ❞ ❝ you’d better not keep me waiting. ❞ ❝ make sure you put your heart into it! i won’t stand for anything but your best. ❞ ❝ how could you be swayed by the temptation of material gain?     do you have no honor? ❞ ❝ you really want to hear about all my troubles? that’s kind of you. ❞ ❝ you...weren’t supposed to see that whole spectacle. how embarrassing... ❞ ❝ you have only succeeded in buying us a little more time. ❞ ❝ watch it! that’s no way to talk to someone who just saved your life! ❞ ❝ you look like you need to get something off your chest. ❞ ❝ know that all the questions you have now will be answered in time. ❞ ❝ there is nothing natural about these tremors. ❞ ❝ you might just be the person i need! you seem pretty good with the ladies. ❞ ❝ it’s great to hear you’re so confident in me. ❞ ❝ ideal love is unfettered and passionate. anything less than that can’t really be called love at all. ❞ ❝ you're incessant buzzing around my head like some irksome gadfly when i’m this busy is...making me very disagreeable. ❞ ❝ you may not have noticed, but i’m trying to hide here.     could you please scoot along? ❞ ❝ you'd better keep your eyes to yourself, if you know what i mean. ❞ ❝ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ❞ ❝ you...you came to see me! i’m so happy. ❞ ❝ your job is simple! you make sure none of these monsters lays a claw on me. not...one...claw. ❞ ❝ now is not the time to be picky about who will help you. ❞ ❝ watch carefully while i demonstrate what a real hero looks like. ❞ ❝ you are something else! there is nothing you cannot do. ❞ ❝ if you think about how often we meet, you have to admit that our relationship has gone beyond friendship, you know? ❞ ❝ i’ll make the affair so excruciating, you’ll deafen yourself with the shrill sound of your own screams. ❞ ❝ i was right, then. there is something special about you. ❞ ❝ i should have reprimanded you the last time we met, but instead i was...soft. ❞ ❝ ha-ha! you didn’t see that coming, did you? ❞ ❝ you really are a snake in the grass. ❞ ❝ you are indeed worthy of being called a hero. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to getting stared at like this. it’s making me blush. ❞ ❝ i can’t hide anything from you, can i? ❞ ❝ the longer i train, the more i realize i’ll never measure up to you. ❞ ❝ whoa...you took out every last one of them. ❞ ❝ i know how bad this must look to you right now, but i assure you i mean no harm. ❞ ❝ it’s all very strange, but i doubt there’s much of a connection between these things. ❞ ❝ you're a weird one, climbing all the way up here. ❞ ❝ don’t cry --- it’s perfectly, mostly safe! ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by that thread of fate. destined to fight. ❞ ❝ meet me in battle, and the thread of fate that binds us will be soaked crimson with your blood. ❞ ❝ i do not wish to dwell on what may have happened if you hadn’t been here. ❞ ❝ you have awakened a wrath that will burn for eons! ❞ ❝ you really like those fantasy stories, eh? ❞ ❝ there is one teensy, tiny thing i lack...namely, mercy. ❞ ❝ i must warn you, i won’t go easy on you this time. ❞ ❝ i might be willing to forgive and forget if you’ll strike a deal. ❞ ❝ since i know i can be honest with you, i’ll admit i got a little sulky. it was frowns all around. ❞ ❝ i see you’re still among the living. ❞ ❝ i saw them dragging you off unconscious, so i tailed them. ❞ ❝ i want you to visit me at my house tonight. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to say a word. i can see how you feel by the spark in your eye. ❞ ❝ you’ll see. i’ll be as tough as you in no time. ❞ ❝ it’s not like ‘oh, hey, that person’s back! i’m so happy!’ or anything like that... ❞ ❝ whoa...that’s some really terrible handwriting. ❞ ❝ i would very much like it if you would go out with me. ❞ ❝ truly? you choose me? ❞ ❝ i swear to you, whatever it takes, i will drag you into an eternity of torment. ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by a thread of fate. ❞ ❝ i’ll watch over you, protecting you from afar. ❞ ❝ until then, we’ll keep our love secret. ❞ ❝ this news has just filled my heart with rainbows! ❞ ❝ this place seems strangely familiar... ❞ ❝ don’t you gotta take care of your own business first? ❞ ❝ they’re not going to do anything nice if they catch you. ❞ ❝ it’s not humane to tease someone this bored. ❞ ❝ i’m not some sideshow for you to gawk at. ❞ ❝ it’s weird to say out loud, but that’s just how i feel right now. ❞ ❝ you can’t break me with interrogation. you’ll never make me talk. ❞ ❝ word is there’s a huge treasure hidden in these here ruins... ❞ ❝ what? that’s not weird to say! ❞ ❝ ...i understand your true feelings. better than you know. ❞ ❝ all the fairytales that we heard growing up...they appear all too real. ❞ ❝ do i look sad? no, i’m doing what i want to do! ❞ ❝ i don’t know what came over me! i had no clue i had the talent to make something like this. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t be out here in the open with no way to defend yourself. ❞ ❝ you do have the tendency to cause trouble for those you ‘help’. ❞ ❝ as far as i’m concerned, i got nothing but time. ❞ ❝ don’t you play coy with me. i know that you know, so why not let me in on the fun? ❞ ❝ so you really think a sob story like that is going to work on me? what a joke. ❞ ❝ i’d take pleasure in punishing you, but i have no time for recreation. ❞ ❝ sorry to leave you on your own, but you look like you can handle it. ❞ ❝ remember --- it’s a secret to everybody. ❞ ❝ it isn’t as action packed as what you’re doing, but maybe this is my destiny. ❞ ❝ don’t you just love the way it smells down here? ❞ ❝ defending the land...it’s my purpose, i think. it’s why i’m here. ❞ ❝ what do i know...you might just surprise me. ❞ ❝ fibber! you’re a fibbity fibber! ❞ ❝ you needn’t even say it. i can tell from the look of sheer astonishment on your face. ❞ ❝ you have had this destiny thrust upon you without warning...    or choice, for that matter. ❞ ❝ don’t do anything heroic and get yourself caught. ❞ ❝ ...you want to tell me but you can’t? ❞ ❝ you know, i really worry about you. it’s a weakness of mine. ❞ ❝ try not to get in the way of my shots, ok? ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept a wink in...ahhh...i don’t even know how long. ❞ ❝ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn’t sure. ❞ ❝ you seem a good deal stronger than the last time we met. ❞ ❝ i would be remiss if i didn’t let you know of the weight on my heart. ❞ ❝ i have a reputation to protect, you know. ❞ ❝ listen closely. do you hear that? ❞

[imaginethathaikyuu]

kinktober - day one

akaashi keiji - friends to lovers 

kinktober faq kinktober prompt list  

NSFW warning featuring: fingering, dry humping, first time together, unprotected sex other tags: lots of exposition, too many words, years long pining, accidental almost confession, emotional real one, mentions of characters having previous partners, oblivious reader, hidden feelings, slight angst, oh no there’s only one bed!  fem reader

word count: 7380

-

Akaashi Keiji knows everything. 

At least, he seems to. 

You realized this only a month after knowing him. He turned around to you, the girl who sat behind him in biology, and gave you one look before saying, “You have no idea what this lesson is about, do you?” And you laughed, because it was so absurdly true, while Akaashi turned his desk around and introduced himself as your study partner. 

You still don’t know how he knew you were struggling. You thought you hid it well, but his eyes must have caught the poor grade on the quiz the teacher returned to you the week before, or the way you seemed to immediately sulk the moment you walked into the classroom. He could see everything you tried to hide - even things you couldn’t see yourself.

And he wouldn’t let you get away with anything but a stellar grade, so study sessions became routine for the two of you - a friendship was destined to bloom, and fast. 

He was too observant for his own good, which was something you learned while watching one of his volleyball practices. He had been inviting you to come watch after study sessions for awhile, but it took you a bit to work up the nerve to walk into the giant gymnasium filled with boys you didn’t know. 

As you watched him play, you saw his superpower: Akaashi’s eyes were everywhere at once. On the ball, on his teammates, on his opponents, on his own feet - he always knew where everyone was at any given moment, all while somehow managing to spare you a few knowing glances during the mess of the game.

You never knew how he did it, but you figured you didn’t have to know. It was because he was Akaashi, and that’s it. 

But you questioned why no one else seemed to notice it. His excellence was obvious to you, but even his closest friends seemed to gloss over it. 

Keiji stood out to you, while to others, he was just Akaashi. Quiet, reserved, sometimes as blunt as a hammer, Akaashi. 

He didn’t care, though. Akaashi thrived on being in the background - he didn’t need any of the attention or recognition you wished to give him. And maybe he loved his friends more because they left him be. 

Those friends of his, however, all shined just as bright as Keiji did, and were never shy about it. You look back at getting to know them all as a highlight of being in high school; despite never feeling like you belonged in their friend group, you were always happy to be with them. 

Keiji pushed you to get closer to the three boys, Tsukishima, Bokuto, and especially Kuroo, right from the first day you met them. They were playing a friendly volleyball game with a few other boys you never really met, and you quickly learned you had no reason to be nervous to meet them. 

It was easy to let go and goof off, because that’s all any of them were doing, anyway. 

Just because it seemed like fun to get under Kuroo’s skin, you decided to antagonize him a bit. “So, Nekoma’s mascot is a cat, correct?” 

Kuroo immediately grew defensive at your tone. “Yes - what do you have against cats?” 

“Nothing, nothing! I like to think of myself as pretty cat-like, actually.” 

“Show him your claws, Y/N,” Keiji chimed in. 

“They’re nimble, and sneaky... and lazy. Something that owls aren’t - just saying. Seems pretty fitting when comparing your team to ours, don’t you think?” 

“Akaashi, you better get your cat,” Kuroo grumbled, with a sly smirk that never seemed to leave his face. 

“She’s just a kitten,” Akaashi replied, winking at you and immediately taking your breath in a way you’d never felt before. “Not my kitten, though, so you’re on your own here, Kuroo.” 

That’s when the first wall came up. You didn’t notice it, not yet, or even realize why it had been built. But as soon as your heart sank to your stomach and erupted into butterflies all because of Keiji’s flirtatious gesture, that wall arose. 

And many would follow. 

On the walk home from that practice, you noticed every glance he sent you. Every time his shoulder touched yours, you felt it amplified. Your knuckles grazed his and you looked down at your hands - his much bigger than yours, your fingers raring to wrap around his. And they were going to, either out of curiosity or the blatant need to touch him or both, until he stuffed both of his hands into his pockets and away from your potential grasp. 

You shook your disappointment off and reminded yourself of what the two of you were: friends. Just friends. Friends only hold hands sometimes, and it’s not on walks home or during study sessions or any of the times you found yourself wanting to hold onto him. 

“Kuroo likes you,” Akaashi said out of nowhere. And you laughed. 

“You think so?” 

“I’m pretty sure.” He sounded distant, his gaze was head on. “Maybe you should give him a chance.” 

You laughed again and said, “Maybe,” even though you knew you’d never entertain the thought of going out with Kuroo. 

Not with Kuroo or anyone else, but you wouldn’t understand why for a long time. 

Two years of friendship had come and gone in almost an instant, but every day with Akaashi was memorable in that easy familiar way only he could offer. He truly was your comfort - everything you needed in a friend, Keiji had. Being so close to him was a blessing, you knew that. 

When the two of you ended up choosing the same university, you almost wanted to cry, because you knew nothing could quell your fears of what’s new better than Keiji’s all knowing familiarity. Having your best friend by your side during times of change would make everything easier.

But it was a different story entirely when you became roommates with him. The apartment you shared was small but homey; it had all the comfort you had in your friendship with him, and you thought nothing could be better than that. 

It was more than that, though. Months went by of seeing him every day, and it felt like that comfort was leaking through the floor every time you saw his bedhead or heard him singing in the shower or watched him pull another girl into his bedroom. 

It wasn’t like the latter was an often occurrence, but just the thought of him being with someone made your stomach turn. But it gave you the idea of seeking your own partners, which was something you hadn’t done in years, and it quickly spiraled into an unhealthy habit. 

You longed for familiarity, to be touched by someone you knew. You were desperate for comfortable vulnerability, and you never found that with a stranger in your bed. So, you decided to seek out someone familiar. And when the person in bed with you was an old friend, a realization dawned on you. Rather, it was offered to you. 

“What are you doing, Y/N?” Kuroo mumbled, and you did nothing but send him a questioning glare, one he scoffed at. 

The two of you had done nothing so far but send a few flirty texts and then sit on your bed; he hadn’t even kissed you yet. You weren’t sure how you felt about it - you weren’t sure if you even wanted him to kiss you. 

“I’m not the one you want here, idiot. So why am I the one you brought to your bed?” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied honestly. “Are we going to -” 

“No, we aren’t. Are you really that dense?” 

“What?” 

“Look,” Kuroo said, standing up and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he was annoyed that he had to be saying this. And while you watched him, you noticed this was the first time you ever saw him without his signature grin or sly eyes. “If I was a shitty friend, I would have fucked you back in high school, alright? I mean, come on, I had the chance. But I care about Akaashi too much to ever do that with you, and I know you don’t actually want to fuck me.”

You stood up, too, facing him head on. “What does Akaashi have anything to do with fucking me, Kuroo?” 

“Everything, idiot. I know you probably think you’re good at hiding it, but everyone knows you’re as in love as you could possibly be with that smartass.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, because you didn’t, but Kuroo wasn’t having it. 

“Well you’re the only one you’ve convinced. And, for the record, this isn’t going to help you get over him.” 

Still, you didn’t get it. You couldn’t see it - you refused to. 

“You’re off limits, dude, Akaashi told us himself.” 

“Then why are you here?” 

His annoying grin was back. “To see how delusional you really are. And give you some advice. Just admit it to yourself - you’ll feel better, I promise.” 

Keiji was your best friend, and that was it. 

This wasn’t some story of years long pining and unrequited love. 

Was it? 

But you thought about it, for just a moment. You thought about being in love with him. 

And then you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

You decided, right then and there, that what Kuroo said wasn’t true; admitting it to yourself didn’t make anything better. In a lot of ways, your friendship with Akaashi thrived on your special feelings for him, and it relied on those feelings staying secret to both of you. 

You couldn’t even finish the conversation with Kuroo. He swore not to tell, because you made him, and that was it. 

That’s when the second wall came up, then the third, then the fourth. You were trapped inside of them. Hiding, only hiding, and safe from anyone who could see you or your heart. 

You denied it still, even though Kuroo knew, just to convince yourself he didn’t. No one knew but you; the only one who knew the password to that door was you. You could be hidden, safe, and protected forever, because you made it that way. 

Keiji would never know, and everything would stay okay. 

Everything but you. And that security wouldn’t last, because a storm was brewing. 

But you were content. What you had with Keiji was always enough for you - you had enough. You saw him every day. You got to hear his laugh on the good days and hug him on the bad ones; you got to have coffee with him every morning and secret late night snacks too many midnights. Sleeping alone was fine. Not getting intimate moments was okay. What you had was enough. 

It seemed like the more you recognized your feelings for him, the more of Keiji you saw. You were still getting to know him after years of calling him your best friend; you were noticing his habits that you never saw before. He mumbles to himself while he cooks; he picks at his nails when he’s nervous; he overthinks everything, even the smallest decisions. 

The latter had always been obvious, but you had never realized it until you lived with him - until you really started to love him. 

Every day, you learned something new about him. And every day, you loved him more, in ways you didn’t even know you could. Ways that made it hard to love him from afar.

Months of your love growing during your first year of university seemed to go by too quickly, and soon spring break was fast approaching. A trip with old friends to a lake house was planned months in advance, and both you and Keiji were excited to see the three boys again. 

But when you arrived at the old looking house that evening you were met with knowing eyes and a sly grin that hadn’t changed since high school. 

“There are only four beds,” Kuroo announced, “and five of us.”

“That’s alright,”  Keiji started, but he was interrupted by Bokuto’s loud laugh. 

“Oh, I guess we’re sharing a bed, four eyes!” 

“I’ll suffocate you in your sleep,” Tsukishima said, meaning every word he said in a way that made Kuroo cackle. 

Keiji looked at you. “You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” 

A million thoughts ran through your mind, but you only shook your head. You didn’t voice any of the concerns you had for yourself. 

“No problem.” 

He gave you a grin. “It’ll be like our high school sleepovers,” and then he took your bag and left to find your shared room. 

You remembered the last sleepover you had with him and your heart raced just thinking about it; you spent half of the night pretending to be asleep, and the other half watching Keiji’s sleeping face and wondering why laying next to him made you feel the way it did. 

This would be the exact same, except now you knew why your heart would be pounding. 

Kuroo was still laughing, but he was looking directly at you. “Are you sure it’s not a problem?” 

“Shut up, Kuroo.” 

He kept laughing, and it left Bokuto scratching his head. “What’s going on? Why are you mad, Y/N?” 

“Because Kuroo is an asshole -” 

“Hey now, I’m doing you a favor here!”

“...I still don’t get it.” 

“You never will, Bokuto,” Tsukishima commented. 

You decided to leave Kuroo laughing on his own - you shouldn’t let him get under your skin, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. He was doing this on purpose. Maybe he thought he was helping you out, but he was only making things harder for you. 

You weren’t going to let him win. You were going to have fun on this trip while keeping our secret seeled, and nothing would stop you - not even Kuroo attempting to play matchmaker. 

The late arrival called for a quick dinner and a nighttime bonfire to kick off the vacation the right way; the boys were all too excited for the night and had gotten the fire started before you could even finish unpacking your bag. 

When you stepped outside, the cool air hit your skin and froze you all over - you expected low temperatures, but not that. 

“It’s cold!” you called out to the boys who were all sitting around the nearby campfire. 

“That’s why we have a fire, moron!” 

“It’s still cold,” you argued, even though you knew it was fruitless to fight with Kuroo.

“It’s alright, you’ll warm up,” Keiji told you. 

“Go warm her up, Akaashi!” 

You ignored Kuroo’s comment - you were not in a good place to be entertaining that thought, not when you’d be in bed with Keiji in just a few hours. 

Keiji seemed to ignore it, too. “Here, I saved you a seat.” He patted the vacant spot on the bench next to him, and you sat down. “You didn’t bring a jacket, did you?” 

“It’s inside,” you replied. “But I’m fine.” 

He didn’t even listen to your response, he was already pulling his hoodie off and giving it to you. 

“Are you sure?” you asked, holding it in your lap.

“Yes,” he replied. “It’ll keep you warm - you need it more than I do.” 

“How romantic,” Kuroo butted in, and it was only now that you noticed the beer in his hand - as well as the few empty cans next to him. 

Drunk Kuroo is always worse than Sober Kuroo, even though you could hardly believe he could ever get snarkier. It was like alcohol made him open his big mouth more, and it always made you nervous. Even though you knew he’d never say anything about your secret while anyone else was around, any time alcohol was involved made those chances go up.

“Just being nice,” Keiji said, obviously playing in to Kuroo’s banter. “I don’t see you offering her your jacket.” 

“Hey, I just don’t think you’d like it if I gave your girl my jacket, would you?” 

Keiji laughed at his slurred words and directed his reply at the group rather than to Kuroo, “He’s only had five beers and he’s already stuttering.” 

“We’ll see if he makes it to six before passing out,” you said, and while it made the others laugh, it seemed to rub Kuroo’s drunken fragile ego the wrong way. 

“I can handle my alcohol just fine, thank you.” 

Bokuto butted in, “Are you sure about that?” 

“You’ve been a lightweight since high school,” you added. 

Everyone laughed, Kuroo included. With his next words, he must have thought he was playing along with the joke. That you were all in on what he was about to say next. That they would have no repercussions, they would sting no ears. 

But when he said them, it sounded like a smack of thunder. 

“Yeah, and you’ve been hiding your feelings since high school - some things just never change, Y/N!” 

You could hardly hear Bokuto saying, “Feelings? For who?!”

“For Aka -”

“Kuroo.” 

You stood up. Keiji’s forgotten hoodie fell out of your lap and landed on the ground. Everything was quiet save for the fire cracking and the pounding of your heart. 

Your eyes said everything you needed to tell Kuroo. He stared right back at you, his face white as snow and his mouth hung open as he choked back his words. Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. It was the calm before a fast approaching storm, one you couldn’t run away from. 

“You weren’t going to say Akaashi, were you? Surely not…” 

Kuroo turned his head to look at Bokuto, seeming to have no clue what to say. You kept staring as he shook his head, not having the courage to say anything else. 

“Pretty sure he was,” Tsukishima said.

“Oh. Shit.” 

You could have denied it - you didn’t. You could have been angry at Kuroo - you weren’t. You could have explained this away as him being drunk and talking out of his ass - you couldn’t. 

You didn’t dare turn to look at Keiji as you stormed toward the cabin. You refused to stay and let this situation become worse than it already was. 

You could hardly hear the words Keiji had for Kuroo, but they were something like, “Why the fuck did you do that?” and if you had been any less upset you would have been worried for how angry he sounded. 

You didn’t know what would happen next. If you thought about it, you were sure you’d fall apart, and that was the one thing you couldn’t let happen. You had to hold yourself together, you had to give this situation the benefit of the doubt. 

Maybe if you could just lie down and sleep before Keiji comes inside, you could wake up in the morning and everyone would act like nothing happened. Just because your secret is out doesn’t mean it was over - you could wait out this storm. 

That’s what you were doing when Keiji came into your shared bedroom. You lied in bed as Keiji slipped in, your back to him and the blanket pulled up to your chin. And, just like at those old sleepovers with him, you were pretending to be asleep.

You had to be good at pretending if you wanted to stay best friends with him. To be as close as you are, with the feelings that you keep for him, you learned how to hide from Keiji. And you had gotten good at it, too - at least, you liked to think so. You were sure he wouldn’t catch you awake. 

You tried not to think about what happened earlier. You tried not to dread what was coming if he knew you weren’t actually sleeping. 

Minutes passed and Akaashi stayed awake. Then, he looked over to you. 

“I know you’re awake.” 

Everything felt frozen, just for a moment, but you didn’t move. You kept your breathing deep and steady, you lied still. 

He reached a hand out to you, fisting your shirt into his palm. His thumb grazed your lower back, skin he exposed from grabbing your shirt. 

“Stop pretending. You’re bad at it.” 

It was like the world stopped spinning. Your world, anyway - the one you had made up in your head. The world where the only things Keiji didn’t know were all the things you were trying to hide from him; the world where, despite never being a good liar, you were good at lying to him. 

But that wasn’t the same world Keiji was living in.

“I know,” you replied, voice cracking through the words. 

You were sure he didn’t mean what he said in the way you felt it sting your chest, but it didn’t matter. Years of learning, hiding, pretending were all culminating in this moment, and if you weren’t careful you’d end up losing it all. 

His hand moved from your back to holding your side. “Will you look at me?” And you didn’t have a choice, because he was turning you to lay on your back, anyway. 

So you looked at him, because it’s what he asked you to do, and you felt the first crack in your poorly built foundation when you realized how close he was to you; then, he put his hand on your side and pulled you even closer.

It’s like he was looking through you. 

“I should tell you something,” he said, and you had some idea where he was going with this but you didn’t want to find out. No part of you wanted to hear what he was about to say. 

“You know… I already knew, Y/N.” 

There it was: the collapse. 

You couldn’t look at him anymore, so you closed your eyes and tried to keep pretending, even though you had nowhere left to hide. 

“Yeah.” The hand on your side was hot and heavy and hard; you hated how much you loved being touched by him, even right now when your made up world was ending. “I know.” 

“I’ve always known.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

You were so close to letting go, to breaking down in the pile of rubble. But you had built your house of lies on unsteady ground, after all; what else did you expect to happen other than this destruction? 

You wanted to cry. You didn’t. You couldn’t be angry at yourself or upset, because you saw this coming. After all, Keiji knows everything. He sees things you don’t even know are showing - he’s been able to read you like a book since before he even knew your name. 

Of course he knew. You were stupid to ever think he didn’t. 

He whispered your name, and then you felt him kiss your forehead. 

“I’m sorry,” you said again, meaning it with your whole heart even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything. 

“I should tell you something else,” he said, and it was quiet, like he was telling you a secret only you could know. He was treading carefully, choosing his words particularly - he didn’t do that often. You felt him bunching your shirt up in his fist again, you heard him sigh loudly. “I don’t even know how to say it.” 

The tears were finally slipping free as you began to understand what he was getting at, so you pulled back. You didn’t need him to pity you. 

“It’s fine,” you insisted, trying to push him away. He wouldn’t let you. “I know - I’ll get over it - you don’t have to tell me - I already know.” 

“No, you don’t - you don’t know, Y/N, please, just come here.” 

“Keiji -” 

“Let me show you.” He wasn’t speaking quietly anymore - this wasn’t a secret anymore. “I can’t explain it - let me show you, Y/N - please.” 

“Show me what?” 

“That I feel the same,” he said, pulling you back into his arms. 

For a second, you thought you misheard him.

And then, he kissed you. 

Soft, sweet, new lips were on yours, taking your breath as if he needed it to breathe himself, then breathing a new life into you that you never knew could be alive. It was like striking a match, flicking a lighter, starting a fire; you watched the rubble of your once hidden love burn, all at the hands of Keiji. 

At first you didn’t even know how to kiss him back. It was too much, too bright, too hot - and then, you couldn’t stop kissing him. You anchored your hands on the back of his neck and held him against you, silently begging him to let you take all that you wanted from him. 

You kissed him like you’d never get the chance to do this again, because you were sure you wouldn’t. This hardly felt real, let alone something that would ever happen more than once. So you savored it, you memorized this feeling so you could relive it in your dreams forever. 

A whimper reverberated through your throat and against Keiji’s lips and the feeling made him kiss you deeper, like he was searching for a way to get you to make that noise again. As the kiss got deeper, a natural progression came over your position; before you could realize it, Keiji was on top of you and lying between your legs. 

His touch was hotter than a flame and yet you couldn’t get enough of it. Every time his tongue brushed against yours, it took a part of you with it, and you were ready to give him all of you. 

And then, he stopped kissing you. 

He pulled back only slightly, and when you chased his lips he pulled back even more. You opened your eyes and stared up at him, at his blushed cheeks and pink lips and beautiful eyes. You could see the cogs in his mind turning and for a second it was like you were seeing a part of Keiji he’s never shown you before; the veil of his all knowing gaze was being dropped, only because he was letting it. 

Because all this time, Keiji was hiding, too - hiding in plain sight. You always thought he treated you the way he treated everyone else, that he knew everything about everyone, but it wasn’t true. He only knew all of your secrets because he took the time to find them. He only saw you for who you really were because he cared enough to know. And, unlike you, he was a good actor; good at pretending you weren’t special; good at building walls that would stay up until he was ready for them to come down. 

And with his next words, he made them shatter. 

“I love you.”  

You kept staring at him, trying to figure out if this nervous boy on top of you really was Keiji. 

“Really?” 

He nodded. 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you.” 

You brushed his hair out of his face and rested your hand on his cheek, still completely in awe of him, and this was all too much for you to believe. “Is this a prank?” 

He laughed at you, and his nerves seemed to melt away. 

“Damn, you caught me.” His forehead fell to rest on yours, your noses brushed. “No, it’s not a prank. I love you.” 

Somehow this intimacy felt all too foreign and way too familiar, all at once. It was overflowing, your heart was racing, it was hard to breathe, tears were falling from your eyes. 

“Say it again,” you whispered, begging him to assure you of this - to make you believe it. 

And he wiped your tears away as he told you, again, “I love you,” and the kiss he placed on your cheek seemed to make you weep even more. “And I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you replied immediately, “I love you, too - it’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.” It was obvious, now, that this had been bothering Keiji for longer than you could ever know. “I just… wasn’t ready. Especially with volleyball, and then moving, and then starting university, I just - I never had enough of me to give to you. And you deserve all of me, not just what’s left of me at the end of the day - I don’t know. I’m just… sorry.” 

You didn’t know how to reply to that in a way that was good enough - all you could think to do was kiss him, because you finally could kiss him, so you did. And it was the same as your first: hot and sweet, familiar and foreign, intimate and overwhelming. 

And the more you kissed him, the more it stirred something up inside of you. He wasn’t holding back - not after holding back for years - and it was like he was trying to get any reaction he could out of you. You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him closer than he’s ever been, and the way it felt to have him pressed up against you sent chills across your burning skin. 

You pulled back from the kiss just to take a breath. “Say it again,” you mumbled, because you weren’t tired of hearing those three words yet. A part of you still didn’t believe them.

Instead of saying them, though, he let his kisses trail down your jaw and onto your neck. You could feel the vibrations of his voice when he spoke, “Let me show you.” 

And you knew what he meant, but you teased him anyway, “How do you want to do that?”

His hips seemed to move on their own free will, thrusting against you as if he couldn’t stop them. And it proved that he was just as in over his head as you were; you liked that. You liked knowing you weren’t the only one in a daze. You liked having this effect on Keiji. 

“However you want,” he said through a dry throat. “We can do anything you want.” 

“I just want you,” you told him honestly. You had no other choice anymore - the truth was all you had left. 

“You have me,” he replied. “I’m yours - just let me show you.” 

Your next kiss was interrupted by his shirt coming off, then yours. You felt his bare skin against yours and you were sure this was enough, that you were content with just this. This feeling was all that you needed. 

“You’re pretty,” he whispered to you as his eyes scanned your bare body, and it left you shaking in anticipation as his lips made their way to your chest. “The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

Your eyes couldn’t leave his face as your fingers carded through his hair; you felt his hands travel the length of your body, and every kiss he left on your skin felt like it was touching your heart - all you could do was watch. 

His hand moved lower, his fingers were teasing the edge of your shorts, but he hesitated to cross the barrier. You grabbed his wrist and pushed him across it, showing him that you couldn’t wait for this. 

That’s all Keiji needed to understand how far you were willing to go with him. His skilled fingers worked against you, slipping into your underwear and touching you exactly where you needed them to, and it was better than anything you could ever dream. 

And he did it like it was easy, like he’s spent years getting to know your body and he was doing what he knew would work. Like this was routine rather than your first time. 

This sure as hell felt like it was your first time doing this; you had never felt so sensitive or open or vulnerable. But you had never been touched by a man you wanted so much; you never thought you’d feel his fingers spreading you open or see him on top of you - this is something you’ve only done in daydreams, and now it was real. 

For the first time you were vulnerable and okay with it. You were letting him have all of you, and you trusted that he would treat you right. And he was. Maybe it was your love for him or the disbelief of the situation or both clouding your judgement, but you were convinced that his fingers felt better than your own. 

“Is this okay?” he asked in a whisper, and you replied with a moan that you couldn’t hold in anymore. He laughed, “Does that mean yes?” 

“Keiji, please don’t tease.” 

“I’m not teasing yet,” he replied with a few kisses along your jaw. You felt his fingers moving more, moving toward going inside, but he hesitated. “Y/N…” 

You were pulled out of your daze for just a second as you looked up at his furrowed brows and half lidded eyes; his face left you wondering what he was about to say next. 

“I really like the sounds you’re making,” he said, “but if anyone hears we’ll never hear the end of it.” 

You laughed, because you had completely forgotten that you and Keiji weren’t the only two people in the world - let alone this house. 

“Right,” you breathed out. 

“I’ll give you anything you ask for, but you…” 

Two of his fingers slid into you, and you held back a gasp. 

“...have to stay quiet. Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, trying your best to take deep breaths rather than let your voice out. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you replied, giving another nod. 

“Good,” he said. 

His fingers curled, and you covered your mouth with your palm. 

“Stay quiet,” he said, even though it felt like he was doing everything he could so you’d do the opposite. His fingers curling into you were begging for a reaction, and it was hard not to give him one. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

Keiji’s hips were moving again, thrusting against your leg like he just couldn’t help it. You wanted to give him more but you couldn’t - your hands were busy covering your mouth and holding onto the sheets for your life, and so all you could do was watch him grinding against you. 

“You’re one to talk,” you replied, making him laugh. 

Both of you looked down and watched; the curl of his fingers moved in time with his thrusts against you - every time they came forward, you felt his length sliding up your thigh. And when he pulled back, his fingers straightened out. 

You’d give anything to have more. “Keiji,” you started, but you just couldn’t get the words out. 

He said them for you as he pulled his fingers out, “Can I fuck you?” 

You had no other answer besides, “Please,” and you were ready to beg for it if that’s what it came to. 

He started to pull his boxers off, but again, he hesitated. The arm he was holding himself up with was trembling, his breathing was unsteady, his entire body seemed tense. Keiji was hanging on by a thread. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

You were taken aback. “Keiji…” 

“We don’t have to do this now - is it too soon? Are you sure you want me?” 

It was hard to listen to his voice when it sounded so honest. 

Your hands took place on either side of his face, ensuring he would look at you while you spoke to him. 

“Keiji… do you want this?” 

“More than anything,” he replied. 

“I can tell,” you joked, and he rolled his eyes at you. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember - I don’t think it’s too soon. But we can wait if you want. There’s no pressure, okay?” 

“I don’t,” he said. “I can’t wait - I’m so hard it fucking hurts - I just don’t want you to -” 

“You think too much.” 

He laughed. “I know.” 

You let your hands travel down to his chest, hoping you got through to him. “Don’t overthink it. I want you to fuck me, Keiji,” and your hips thrusted against his as if to convince him of how badly you needed it. “Sooner rather than later.”

It seemed to be good enough, he seemed to believe you, because now he wasn’t hesitating to take off his shorts and yours. The view it gave you struck a burning desire like no other - now that you could see all of him, you couldn’t handle not having all of him. 

And he was raring to give himself to you, coaxing his cock inside of you until you took it all, and both of you felt like you were about to explode. 

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, and the volume of his voice pulled you back down to the real world. 

“Stay quiet,” you reminded him, giggling because the tables had turned on him. 

“I know,” he said with a nod. “You just feel so good - you’re so fucking tight -  I can’t believe this is happening - oh, fuck, it’s too much.” 

“Move, Keiji,” you whined, bucking your hips up to try to feel anything, and he cursed under his breath when he pulled back to watch your desperate attempt at fucking yourself with his cock. 

“You can do it,” he teased, pulling his hips back a little more so you had more room to move. “Keep going - fuck me like that, kitten, don’t stop.” 

You were dying to feel him meeting your thrusts, because this wasn’t nearly enough, but you loved his teasing. 

“That’s it,” he said, “that’s my girl. Taking me so well, fuck, you’re perfect.” 

He couldn’t take it anymore, that was obvious as his thrusts started. He took a hold of your hips and held you in place so he could take you at his own pace, and he was everything you could ever need. 

Your love for him was spilling from your lips and he was doing everything he could to keep you saying it, bringing you higher with every passing second. Feeling him between your thighs and inside your walls was intoxicating. It was everything you hoped it would be, simply because it was Keiji. 

“I’m close,” you said as if he needed a warning - he could probably already tell. 

“Quiet, kitten,” he said to you, bringing your lips up to his for a kiss. “These sounds are for me - don’t want anyone else hearing what’s mine. Be a good girl for me.” 

“I’m trying,” you replied, and he cooed at your whining. 

“I know,” he mumbled, and just by the sound of his voice you could tell he was liking this. And he was going to make it harder for you when his hand trailed down your body so his fingers could circle your clit. 

He kissed you hard to stop any sound you were about to make and you were grateful for it. 

“I want you to cum for me,” he said, “and I don’t want you to make a sound when you do.” 

“Keiji -” 

His hips and fingers sped up. “I’m serious. Come on, kitten, be my good girl - make me proud and stay quiet while you’re cumming all over my cock. You can do it, I know you can.” 

Any trust he had in you staying quiet until the end was completely misplaced - you knew that when his hand clamped down over your mouth. You didn’t try to hold in your voice at all, and Keiji was having just as much trouble, burying his face into your neck to muffle his noises the best he could. 

It didn’t matter if anyone else could hear you; to you, nothing else mattered but Keiji. He was the only other person in your world, the only person your body would ever scream so loudly for. As long as it was him bringing you to this euphoria, you didn’t care who else knew about it. 

Let your friends give you hell for it, let Kuroo say I told you so - you’d deal with the embarrassment in the morning. That moment was worth it. 

The soft kisses he was leaving on your neck in the wake of hitting your peaks helped you float back down easily. It was like being woken up from a dream, one where the only thing you could remember was how pleasant it was. 

“You were not quiet,” Keiji laughed. You felt your cheeks swelling and heating up in embarrassment. 

“I couldn’t help it…” 

“It’s okay,” he replied. “You still made me proud.” 

He lied next to you and pulled you close, and you convinced yourself that you were going to be there in his arms forever. If you were, you’d have no complaints. 

A quiet moment passed, and you couldn’t stand the silence. “How was… that?” 

He pulled back to look at you with wide eyes, as if he didn’t expect you to ask. “What do you mean?” 

“Was it good? Did you like it? Was I -” 

“It was perfect,” he said, biting his lip and looking up at the ceiling as if his high hadn’t completely worn off. “It was everything. Don’t get all shy and insecure on me now that you know I love you back.”  

“Shut up,” you said with a laugh. “I’m just making sure.” 

“Do you need me to prove it to you again?” 

“Maybe.”

“I’ll make sure you stay quiet for me this time, then.” 

Whether or not the two of you were successful in your attempts to keep the noise down was up for debate, but by the end of the night, neither of you cared. 

And the next morning, when you forced yourself to leave Keiji and the warmth of the bed, you found Kuroo pacing outside of your door. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hey.” 

“I’m sorry - I’m so sorry - what I said last night was way out of line, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for it -”

“It’s fine, Kuroo,” you said, because it was. If you were being honest, after the night you had with Keiji you had completely forgotten about what Kuroo said. 

“It’s not fine,” he argued. “I shouldn’t have done that - you trusted me not to say anything about your feelings, and then I did. I fucked up - why aren’t you pissed right now?” 

Before you could start to think of a reply, the door behind you opened. Keiji’s bed head popped out. 

“Can you guys be quiet?” 

“Sorry,” Kuroo immediately replied. 

Then, Keiji turned to you. “Can you come back to bed? It’s cold.” 

You nodded, and Keiji went back inside, and the moment you looked at Kuroo’s face, you knew he’d figured things out. 

“Did you guys fuck?!” 

You had no response. Keiji, however, called out a simple, “Yeah,” leaving you covering your face in embarrassment. 

“Holy shit. I -” 

You went back into your bedroom before he could even finish his words, slamming the door in his face so he couldn’t finish his boasting. But you heard him say, “You’re welcome!” before finally trodding off, and you shook off your embarrassment as best as you could. 

The breakfast you needed minutes ago was long forgotten as you looked at the view in front of you of the boy who was yours. Keiji was waiting for you with sleepy eyes peeking up at you from soft sheets, a grin on his face, and his arms open. 

He didn’t have to say a word - you were in those arms in seconds. Both of you released a sigh of relief; Keiji was warm again, and you were being held by him again. 

“Finally.” 

“I was gone for, like, two minutes, tops.” 

“I don’t care,” he replied. “It was long enough that I got too cold without you here.”

You felt like you should have more to say, but you didn’t. 

You’d spent years hoping for a moment like this. It was as soft and golden and happy as you’d ever dreamed, and moments like those didn’t need words. You knew how Keiji felt, and despite all your attempts at hiding, Keiji knew how you felt, too. 

And in that moment, when the two of you were lying in the afterglow of intimacy from the night before, finally knowing is all that mattered. 

 - 

tune in tomorrow for kinktober day 2: royal 

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers Getting Possessive at the Club

… I can explain. Or, well, no I can't. But this exists now anyway so enjoy?

Warnings: Possessive Behavior, Yandere-ish, Violence

Intro: The MC and their favorite demon were just trying to have a fun night out at The Fall. The lights were going, the music was blaring, and the two of them were by the bar but there was a problem. Their demon noticed a sketchy creep who'd been eyeing their human all night long… and that simply won't do. So when their human left to use the bathroom…

It was time to take care of the problem.

Lucifer

Though Lucifer was usually less than into the club scene, the MC wanted a change of pace from their usual dates and he did so want to make them happy… At first, he thought he'd just be dealing with the loud noise and crowded atmosphere but then he noticed something else…

A demon had been following them through most of the night, always keeping his distance but staring at the MC far too much for his liking…

This put Lucifer in a bit of an odd position. He didn't exactly want to leave the club because the MC didn't look tired yet, but he also didn't like seeing that cretin following them around…

Yet, of course, it also rubbed his pride the wrong way to go tell him to stop directly. Lucifer would never admit to feeling bothered by some pitiful lesser demon… Never.

But by the time the MC left him to use the restroom, he was at his wit's end. He could see the man had taken a seat at the other end of the bar just to watch them and he was growing irritated… So he had to devise a new strategy.

It's unusual for demons to walk around in their true forms. It's not that it's frowned upon or anything, it's just that it's normally something reserved for big events… or for displays of dominance and control.

So when Lucifer slipped into his demon form in the middle of The Fall, it turned quite a few heads. Truthfully, there was only one head in particular that he wanted his way, and once he got it, he stared the guy down…

It was a taste of the lowlife's own medicine, but so much worse coming from him… The feel of Lucifer's bloody-onyx eyes and chillingly cold smile from across the bar could have made even the strongest men run for the hills…

Needless to say, the demon didn't last very long under the eldest brother's gaze. In fact, he wilted almost immediately before slinking away as quickly as he could… 

A guy not even able to stomach the firstborn's stare? Truly a pathetic coward if Lucifer ever saw one.

He was totally back to normal by the time the MC returned and went back to dancing with them like nothing ever happened… Though his human couldn't help but notice the crowd kept their distance from them for the rest of the night... 

Eh, Hell is just weird sometimes isn't it?

Mammon

Look, Mammon had been trying to have some fun the whole night and for the most part he'd been succeeding except for one thing…

He could sense that asshole still hadn't left them alone. He'd just hover near him and his MC like a hellhound stalking prey… It was annoying. It was creepy…

And it was reeeaaallly getting on his nerves.

When the MC left for the restroom, he was leaning back against the bar scanning the room for their abhorrent admirer while using the tint of his sunglasses to hide his eyes.

It didn't take him long to see the gross fuck sitting alone at a table. Who knew what he was planning... following them home? Taking candid shots of MC? Either way, he wanted to sock him in the jaw…

But, of course, Mammon knew he had to play it just a little smoother than that to stay in the club.

Mammon sauntered over to the man's table and invited himself to sit, kicking his feet up to look casual but knocking his boots against the surface so roughly it made the guy jump... Pathetic.

"Oi, so I've seen ya lookin at my human… Real work of art, eh?" He flashed the guy a fanged grin and watched him sweat for a second before cutting off any answer.

"-'course they are. Don't need to tell me. But I gotta say, you're really ticking me off, bud… We're just tryin to enjoy ourselves but I keep seeing your ugly mug wherever we're at."

He pulled his legs back from the table and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a deck of playing cards.

"Tell ya what, I'm feelin oddly generous so let's play a game. You and me. If ya win, I'll let ya have a night with'em…" He fought the urge to punch the guy when he saw his eyes light up, "but if I win…"

Mammon put the deck on the table then leaned in real close, "I'll flay your skin off and gild ya skeleton in the 4th circle myself… Gold skulls are selling like hotcakes right now." He put every bit of malice he could into the threat, even barring his increasingly sharpening fangs.

The guy must of had a good head on him because he paled immediately before getting up and running from the table. If there's one thing everybody knows about Mammon, it's never play cards with him if he can make even a single Grimm… Chances are, you're gonna lose.

When the MC came back, Mammon flagged them down to their new table and pulled them onto his lap for a little chat before getting more drinks. They're his human. His.

Leviathan

Of course Levi noticed this creep the second that they walked in. He's Envy. He had been hyper-vigilant of all the attention the MC had been receiving since their first step inside. But this guy was… persistent.

He'd been tailing them all night, always finding spots with good vantage points, which of course was sketch as hell but...

Honestly? Levi just didn't like him looking at them. Not at all. In fact, he'd hazard to say he truly hated this complete stranger for how much real estate his eyes were taking up of his precious MC… What gave him the right??

By the time the MC had to use the restroom, he was sitting at the bar seriously contemplating whether or not to just carry them home… He didn't like night clubs anyway, but they seemed to be having fun and they always looked so cute while dancing…

No. He couldn't just take them home. But once they left, he had a much better idea.

It was easy for Levi to slip away from the bar. The asshole was leaned back against a nearby wall and pretty much pulled his phone out the second the MC was out of sight. From there, Levi only had to do what he did best, blend into the background, until he was right next to the guy...

He didn't say anything. He didn't give him any warning or threat. No, no he was far too ticked to be that charitable…

The only indication the man got of how royally he fucked up was the searing pain of Levi's fangs digging into his shoulder, the thirdborn's gloved hand muffling his screams until the venom took hold of his prey.

The last thing that man ever saw, propped up and paralyzed against the wall, was the MC coming back to their docile otaku, who now pulled them into his arms… still shooting the occasional smirk in his victim's direction.

And the last thing he ever heard was the same word his killer whispered to him after his throat became too tight to scream… "Mine."

Satan

This always seemed to happen whenever he took the MC places… They could be walking together in the park and he'd still see lesser demon eyes following them around...

Frankly, it did piss him off to a degree. He knew they never asked to be stared at like a piece of meat, but if he'd go on a rampage every time it happened then they'd never have a quiet date again. So he learned to put up with it… to an extent.

The demon that had been following them that night was really testing his notoriously short patience...

He had tried several tactics to shake the guy as they were dancing but he'd always come right back. He even got more handsy than normal to show, "Hey, this one is mine!" but that had gotten him equally dismal results… It was bordering the line of disrespect now.

He did his best to keep up a friendly face while the MC was with him, but they must have noticed he'd gotten tense. They told him to try and relax a bit before they left for the bathroom…

Oh, he was going to relax alright.

The second they were out of sight, Satan's smile broke into a glare he leveled right at the offending scumbag's table. Of course, seeing the MC had left put the guy's attention elsewhere, but that was his funeral.

Satan knew his time was limited, so he skipped the pleasantries and marched right over to him, slamming his foot down onto the edge of the table with such force it threatened to tip it over then grabbed him by the neck.

"Back. OFF."

It really didn't take much, his reputation preceded him. He felt the guy's pulse skyrocket between his fingers before he let him go.

It was hard not to get a little satisfaction when watching the worthless creep scramble away from him like his life depended on it (as it very much did). He almost considered giving chase just to amp up the fun, but the MC returned sooner than he expected…

A pair of arms around his waist and lips against his cheek were enough to evaporate his anger right then… but it didn't settle his sudden need to mark them in the slightest.

Ultimately, the real question was whether he could wait until they got home to show the world that they were his or if they needed to find somewhere… quieter. No promises, MC.

Asmodeus 

Asmo had dealt with his fair share of admirers, the stalking kind included. Fortunately, dealing with them had always been relatively easy for him (he is a ruler of Hell after all) but one targeting his beloved human…? That was far less acceptable in his eyes.

He caught sight of the beady eyes of the creep while he was dancing with the MC. At first, he thought the guy was looking at him (who wouldn't?) but then he followed his eyeline right to his lovely human companion…

Though he couldn't exactly blame him for staring, he and MC made a fantastic looking pair, he definitely couldn't sit idly by either. People like this are usually bad news and he refused to let any harm come to his MC…!

He was as tactful as ever, though. He liked The Fall and would rather not be banned from returning… He waited patiently for the MC to go to the bathroom before making his way over to the creep, his perfect smile still sitting on his face.

"Excuse me, cutie." He waited for the stalker's eyes to leave his phone and settle on Asmo's own. "Ah, there you are! Good. I had a question for you, I think… oh no, I must have forgotten it! Silly me."

Though he could see the demon was growing annoyed, Asmo stalled for just a few moments longer… just long enough for his bewitching charm to set into his victim's mind.

"Ah! Now I remember. Do you like dogs?" He smiled in satisfaction to see the creeper's head nod slowly. "Oh good! Because I know a very hungry dog right now… Cerberus is his name and I don't think he's had a meal today. Would you be a doll and go feed him for me? He lives in the cave behind the House of Lamentation. You can't miss him."

The demon's head nodded slowly yet again as he rose from his chair and walked out of the club quietly. Quick, painless, and with no messy cleanup!

Well… none that Cerberus wouldn't clean up for him anyway. Asmo returned to the bar with a newly giddy grin on his face... His MC wouldn't be seeing that man ever again~!

Beelzebub 

Beel is very patient. Beel is very kind. Beel is very forgiving. Beel is… really not about this right now...

Unlike his brothers, Beel's easygoing nature made him less quick to pick up on the lingering glances that the MC gets from others. Even when he does notice, he can usually let it slide if looking is all they do (he's the only one who can touch after all).

But even he couldn't miss how wolfishly that demon was staring at them… It made him uncomfortable and the guy just refused to leave them alone…

By the time the MC left Beel at the bar to use the restroom, he was on a level of irritated usually only reserved for when someone denied him food… It was like that jerk had taken a cheese grater to his patience and it was wearing thin…

As much as he knew he could deck him, he didn't want to get them kicked out… The MC was having such a good time, despite the creep's ogling, so he used a different approach…

Being so high up in Hell had its perks and one was that anywhere in town that offered food also had a secret menu… A Beelzebub Only menu (as a precaution so that he wouldn't wreck the place whenever he stopped by). Anything on his menu always had huge portions and The Fall was no exception.

The bartender didn't seem too surprised when he ordered a Drakon Leg, but he was very surprised when he asked to get the full bone too… Not with the meat on it. Just the bone.

Fun Fact: the bones of Drakons are supremely thick and strong enough to be used as clubs.

Even More Fun Fact: it takes an incredible amount of force to snap these bones…

...which Beel did without breaking a sweat… and maintaining eye contact with the creep The. Entire. Time. The sound of the bone snapping in two was almost as deafening as a gunshot and he didn't even flinch.

The demon went running out of the club with his tail between his legs and quickly got swapped out for the MC running back, worried about what made such a loud noise…

Of course, by that time Beel had the bone thrown away and was chowing down on the meat like nothing ever happened so they dropped the subject soon enough...

He may not be as open about when he claims someone as the rest of his family but that's because when push comes to shove, who in their right mind would want to challenge Beel anyway...?

Belphegor 

Nope. Nope. Nope nope nope, he's not having this. Not one bit.

Belphie lacks a lot of the good-natured patience of his twin... Chances are if there's something happening and he's not stopping it, it's just because putting up with it is the path of least resistance…

But there are always exceptions and those are usually reserved for the MC.

Strangers trying to get close or even imagining themselves being with MC really makes his blood boil… He knew them the most. He loved them the most. On just what grounds did some random moron think he could take his place?? Wishful thinking? Keep dreaming, buddy.

So, of course, he wasn't happy when he noticed some asshole staring at the MC like Beel does when he sees a havoc roast...

He kept his poker face up while he was with the MC, but he was devising a plan to take care of him the entire time… One he finally got the chance to enact once the MC went to the bathroom.

He's even better at going unnoticed than Levi, so sneaking his way over to the asshole was a piece of cake. He didn't notice until Belphie casually draped his arm around the guy's neck, hanging his clawed hand dangerously close to the scumbag's heart...

"Having a good time…?"

He could feel a shallow swallow against his arm as he began to slowly apply pressure to his trachea.

"I bet you were… and I was too until I saw you following us… Care to explain yourself?"

"I-I uh-Gah!" 

The guy's voice gets cut off by Belphie's arm getting even tighter, the sharp tips of his claws drumming directly over the man's thundering heart.

"Ugh, that's what you actually sound like? Never mind, it's not worth knowing…" His fingers stopped drumming and slowly began to dig into his skin...

"I'm only going to say this once… If I ever see you tailing my human again, you won't be needing this-" his claws drilled a little deeper into his chest, "-anymore. Am I clear?"

The demon's head nodded as much as his strangled throat would allow and Belphie finally retracted his claws, wiping the blood off on the guy's shirt before letting him go. He fell forward onto all fours before attempting to scramble away as fast as he could...

Belphie watched him go with disinterest on his face, but satisfaction in his heart. Yet another threat to his human dealt with… And they could go back to enjoying their evening together. Alone. Just where his human belonged...

[bjornswoman]

hey babe! Do you take requests ? İf you do, could you do a story with these prompts? And ofc with bjorn please?

Prompts : "Would you do the same for me?” & "don’t touch me!” &

“Did you ever care about us? Or was that another one of your lies?”

False promises

Requested by @bjornsholyarmring.

Author's note: Hey guys! I hope that is what you had asked. If it isn't, let me know and I will write it again the way you want it to be. Also, sorry for being inactive for so long, I had some problems that needed to be fixed. I ensure that I am writing stuff right now and I have a lot of work to do. Sometimes is coming stay tuned! I hope you will like this. Till the next time have fun and take care!

Pairing: Modern!Bjorn x Reader.

Genre: Modern!au, sad, romance, drama.

Summary: Bjorn has cheating on you.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, heartbreaking.

"Is Bjorn here?" You asked Ubbe, as you were getting inside the living room of his father's mansion, trying to act like your normal self. Like you weren't crying some moments before.

After the news you received it was natural for you to cry. But you didn't want Ubbe, or any other member of his family to notice that you were crying before. You didn't want to cause a scene in front of all these people. You wanted to yell, cry, hit and yell again to Bjorn after what he did to you.

"He is coming. I talked to him some minutes ago, he is on his way. That's what he said." Ubbe answered to you and showed you the way which led in the living room.

You followed him and when you were in there, you sat on an armchair. Ubbe sat on the couch opposed to the armchair which you were sitting. Torvi, his wife, was sitting on the same couch as him. She was there before you.

"What happened to you?" Torvi asked you, noticing that something was wrong with you. You forced a fake smile on your face, trying to seem natural as two couples of eyes were examining your face.

"Nothing, I am fine. I just want to talk with Bjorn about something. That's all."

You weren't good at lying. It was obvious that you weren't fine. Both of them noticed your red eyes and the tone of your voice. You were angry and sad at the same time.

You weren't even looking at them. You didn't want them to understand —which they did.

"Is everything alright between you and Bjorn?" Ubbe was the one who asked this time. You looked at them both —Ubbe and Torvi. Then, you looked at the clock on the wall in front of you.

Nothing was alright between you and Bjorn. You thought that it was, but apparently you were wrong. You were wrong until you learned the whole truth. Bjorn was cheating on you the whole time. It wasn't that you were such a stupid person and you didn't notice anything. You had noticed once. You were about to leave him, but he promised to you that this wouldn't happen again. Bjorn didn't keep his promise. He cheated on you again.

All this situation made you feel bad about yourself, about your appearance. Why would he do that? Were you so ugly? Why were he even in relationship with you? And this woman. Apparently, she was better than you. He wouldn't have anything with her if she wasn't.

"Yes, everything it's perfect. Things couldn't be better." You lied.

"I—" Torvi was about to say something, but she didn't say it. She started and didn't finish. She decided not to say anything. Maybe, she didn't say anything because Bjorn entered the living room, smiling and greeted all of you.

"(Y/N), I wasn't expecting you. Did we have a date and I forgot about it? Excuse me about it, these past weeks at the company are really exhausting." He told you and you forced a smile again.

"No, no, we didn't have a date. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

You stood up next to him. He seemed curious, he didn't know what you wanted to talk about and didn't expect you to know what he did.

"Tell me."

"I would prefer to talk private." You answered him. "Excuse me guys." You referred to Ubbe and Torvi.

"Okay. Let's go upstairs." Bjorn said frowned and followed you upstairs in his room. When you were inside his bedroom, Bjorn closed the door behind him and sat on the bed. He patted the mattress next to him, motioning you to sit next to him, but you avoided him. You stayed still in front of him. Nobody talked for some seconds. "What did you want to talk about?" He asked looking straight in your eyes.

"About Porunn."

When you mentioned her name, he froze. You crossed your hands on your chest, looking at him, waiting for him to tell you the truth that you wanted to listen.

"What about her?"

You scoffed when you listened his question and looked anywhere else except him. He was enraging you. He knew exactly what you were saying. He knew that you knew everything.

"You know what I am talking about."

"I don't."

"You do."

"Honestly, I don't."

This game was pissing you off. You rolled you eyes and then you looked at Bjorn again.

"I know about your lies and your betrayal. I know that you cheated." You muttered. You tried hard not to start crying again. The tears were already in your eyes and you were fighting them.

"(Y/N), I—"

"I feel bad about myself all this time. I forgave you before and tried to feel good again, but I can't and, apparently, I'm not beautiful and good enough for you." You spoke and tears started falling from your eyes. You couldn't fight them anymore. You didn't have so much power. You felt really bad.

"(Y/N), it just happened once. I was drunk, we fought and you didn't talk to me. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. You are perfect. You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Give me a second chance." Bjorn said. He stood up and reached you. He extended his hand to touch you, but you didn't let him.

"Don't touch me!" You screamed and he did as you told him to. He was stood in front of you. You sighed heavy and turned around, running your hands through your head. You were really upset. You didn't know what to say. You closed your eyes and sighed again. After some seconds you opened your eyes and turned to face him again. "I feel hurt and betrayed and it's not the first fucking time. I have forgiven you before for the same thing and, now, you are asking me to forgive you. Again! What if I cheated on you, would you do the same for me? Would you forgive me? Would you give a second second chance?" You asked him, looking at him. His large hands made it to both your cheeks and wiped your tears away from your face. You didn't stop him from touching you this time.

Bjorn hesitated to answer for some time, but he did gave you an answer.

"I wouldn't."

Was the only thing that came out of his mouth. It wasn't like you didn't expect his answer. You knew that he wouldn't do the same for you. You wouldn't fall for his lies again. You had decided that you would end things with him. It hurt you, but you had no choice. You loved him and it wasn't secret, but you couldn't stay in this relationship anymore. You couldn't let him treating you like that. Nobody deserved this.

"I can't do that either. This relationship is hurting me. Your actions are hurting me. I have no choice left, but to end things with you. This relationship makes me feel bad and insecure about myself." As you were speaking, a tear fell from his blue eyes. You hated hurting, like he had hurt before, but you couldn't do that to yourself anymore. Tears were falling from your eyes too.

"I promise you that if you forgive me this time, I will be the best man for you. I love (Y/N). Please." He muttered and you closed your eyes. The tears were streaming unconditionally from your eyes. You couldn't hear him saying the word 'please'. You didn't want to give in. You didn't want to believe his fake promises again. You believed once and he didn't keep his promise.

"This isn't love. You don't cheat on the person you love and, of course, I can't trust your promises. In fact, you false promises. I did once and look what is happening now. I am the price of my silly actions." You said. Bjorn didn't answer, so you found the chance to say all those things that you needed to say. "In fact, I don't believe that you ever cared about me. All you care about is yourself. You just wanted to have your fun with me and at the same time you had fun with other women too when I was too boring for you."

All the time you were talking, you were crying too.

Your words hurt him. They made him angry too.

"That's not true!" He screamed angry.

"Yeah, yeah." You scoffed "Did you ever care about us? Or was that another one of your lies?" You asked like you hadn't heard any word of his.

"Are you even listening to what I am saying?" He asked angry and you scoffed again.

"No. Now fucking answer to me!" You yelled and he run his hand through his blonde hair.

"Yes, I fucking did! I fucking do! I fucking love you! For fuck's sake!" He yelled too and placed a cigarette on his lips. Before he could light it up, uou threw it away of his mouth.

You didn't like when he smoked. It was bad for him and really unhealthy. It was killing him.

"This kills you!" You yelled again, before he could say anything about his cigarette. "And I don't trust you anymore. We are done, Bjorn." You said and placed your hand on your mouth to stop yourself from sobbing.

"(Y/N)." He muttered your name and gripped your arm firmly to stop you from leaving him.

"No, Bjorn. It's better this way. All this was a lesson for both of us." You spoke softly and placed your hand on his to take it away from your arm. "I love you, Bjorn. I will always love you." You said, as you were taking his hand away from your arm. Tears were covering both your faces. The image of him crying were tearing your heart apart, but you couldn't act otherwise. It was the best choice for both of you.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

This was the last thing you heard before you got out of his room and his house.

After that day you hadn't seen Bjorn again for a long time. Later, you heard that he got married with Porunn and had a child, a daughter, with her. You felt happy for him. You loved him and because of that you wanted him to be happy. Apparently, Porunn made him happy.

Some things aren't made to last, one of them was your relationship with Bjorn. Because you couldn't be together didn't mean you didn't love each other. He loved you with his own way that you couldn't understand and you loved him with yours. But love isn't always enough for relationships. Trust is important too, along with other stuff.

Maybe you will be together in another life if that thing exists.