#& I don’t quite agree with that
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It always seems insane to me that when Titanic (1997) came out, people said Kate Winslet was “too fat” in the film, “Jack couldn’t fit on the debris because of how fat she was”, etc., because I can distinctly remember being a child watching the film several times when my mum bought the DVD, and that whenever I saw the scene where Rose gets out of the car at Southampton and the camera shows her looking up from underneath her hat, I would ALWAYS without fail think “oh my god that is the most beautiful lady in the world”… like nine year old me genuinely thought Kate Winslet was the single most beautiful woman on the planet, you could have told me that she was a goddess and I’d have fully believed you.
I stand by that opinion by the way, anyone who thinks she wasn’t beautiful can fuck off
#this film was HER film quite frankly (and also Gloria Stuart’s to some degree but mostly Kate’s)#like don’t get me wrong Leo in this film is 🥵😮💨 but this Kate’s movie hands down#I’m sure leo would 100% agree tho lmao we love supportive besties#titanic#kate winslet#rose dewitt bukater#she’s still beautiful btw I’m not saying she’s not I’m just talking about child!me seeing her in titanic#also I love James Cameron as a director + he seems to have mellowed out with time but I’m still mad about him calling her Kate Weighs-A-Lot
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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🥴
#hate how there’s no way to talk about (ie complain sorry) having a large following without sounding like a Bitch w a humongous head#like I can’t say anything about how I don’t like it without sounding ungrateful (?) or sounding self important#like who tf am I to think anything I do or say matters to anyone one a broader scale just bc I have some followers on a silly website?#I myself agree b*tch I’m just some girl!!!! but another faction of my followers think I’m incredibly important somehow#and they go thru everything I say/rb with a fine toothed comb. or read a lot into what I DONT say but apparently should have..?#it’s exhausting I’m sorry lmfao I can’t imagine how draining it would be if I had anon on still#it’s even big headed to acknowledge I have a large following. like yeah I do. it just kinda happened sorry#I don’t REGRET it in fact I like it quite often but just in little spurts#but idk what I’m saying is there’s a feeling of pressure to make public my thoughts and feelings that I hate
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Mr Perfectly Fine 2.0
#mr perfectly fine#mr perfectly fine (sophie’s version) (ft sophie turner) (2023 version)#don’t yell at me y’all ik we don’t have the details#but I cannot stand a man shaming a woman.#the whole thing about how she was struggling after her pregnancy and he was dragging her out with him#but nooo she’s the partying one#and she was the primary parent for quite a while. right? that is what happened right#but ooooh it’s just been so hard for him to have the kids alone for A COUPLE OF MONTHS#an arrangement they no doubt agreed on#I’m sorry??#I hate men#but also whatever we don’t know them don’t know the details I’m not trying to be definitive#I’m juST SAYING with the information we HAVE at our disposal#he’s made it so easy to point fingers this really isn’t my fault#joe jonas#sophie turner
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see I do disagree w the take that there’s nothing interesting to the character if you don’t read yosuke as queer (tbh the entire conflict re him initially looking down upon the town out of both boredom/unhappiness/dissatisfaction and as a way to protect himself by rejecting the place and people that are largely also rejecting him for something he’s not responsible for, is incredibly interesting and genuinely well written imo) but he does become more unsympathetic in a lot of dimensions if you reject or waive his queer subtext, considering he’s also in a narrative that won’t even let you push back against his homophobia.
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tags continued from prev post.
#and all of this is true while it is ALSO true that her songs age incredibly well#even debut or random soundtrack songs or endgame#whatever song people try to put on the worst Taylor songs list NEVER QUITE BELONGS#it doesn’t feel right. and to some extent occasionally in mercurial flashes I feel the same about her BEST songwriting list#I can never rank anything of hers ever because she can write better than she has written#if anything finds her own songwriting dead it’s what her future self will be able to achieve#and I think sometimes even the public can SENSE this about her and it’s part of why people are sooooo hard on her in a brutal way#and in a way they never are with other artists. who have reached the limits of their potential#Taylor has not reached the limits —that’s the simple way of saying it#in some way she is still figuring out the artist she is going to be#and I really do think that it is going to be absolutely astonishing#because in some ways (this is going to sound crazy) she is still distracted by her success and her tour#she’s NOT but I mean. the canon hasn’t been fully set free#there are still somehow things holding her back#and we’ve watched her outstrip so much of those early confines that fame and the business of the music industry strapped around her#we’ve seen her say ‘that doesn’t apply to me’#but actually she’s going to and she needs to and I believe she WILL continue to move into rarefied air#my mom helped me give me the final piece of this feeling (and it’s just a deep gut intuition/brain chemical thing for me)#when she said one day almost in mild exasperation: maybe one day Taylor will grow into a Dolly Parton#and something CLICKED#in my brain. and I don’t agree with my mom in terms of her non-interest in Taylor (as much as it has pained me to do so)#I think she’s worth loving and paying attention to now#but that gap that exists between people who love her and people who don’t (full time haters internet trolls do not interact)#I think it’s going to close with time as her work stretches out and out and grows and changes#like I think by the end of her career we are going to have something so astonishing#and to loop it back for a second to a previous thought. I think that’s why sometimes a taylor song can sound disjointed to me. because it#will hit the Depths of the Depth for a second. it will transcend and then it will go back to merely being an excellent pop song#those flashes are everywhere in her work but I think she is going to work and hone them into being conductors of light in a more steady way#the older she gets. does this sound INSANE. idk sometimes I think it does and then sometimes I think it DOESNt. so who knows. but yeah#it’s hard to say because I know it will read as more critical of Taylor than I mean it to be. when really I mean it with so much awe
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#‘you should take random strangers making suggestions about your eating habits as a compliment’ is certainly a take I just read#<- referring to being told you should eat more if ur skinny#like i get the point you are trying to make about skinny shaming not being as bad as fat shaming (and I agree)#but you’re being stupid about it yk#like telling skinny people that being told you should ‘eat a burger’ or whatever is a compliment is a little wild#a compliment would be ‘your body looks great !’ not making unwanted suggestions about my eating habits#when you know pretty much nothing about me lolll#it’s also wild bc I’ve never gotten compliments for my body it’s just mostly people who don’t know me well being concerned#especially new doctors lol#and I mean like actual compliments like people saying actually nice things#I don’t have problems with food or eating disorders or anything#so it’s annoying when so many people who barely know me make those kinds of suggestions bc you DONT know my situation#expecting people to take that as a compliment is kinda wild ngl#like I’d get it more if people also did say nice things about my body but they don’t#and I’ve been made fun of for it a lot more than I’ve been complimented for it lmfao#like I really get the point ur trying to make I get it but also you’re being really stupid with how you go about it#not quite sure they understand what a compliment is lmao#cw weight
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Sorry to be a hater but this is how I’ve been feeling recently
#listen.#I love fluff#fluff is great#but does EVERY relationship have to be fluff and only fluff#I’ve noticed in the past that fandoms fandoms tend to#like#stray away from any conflict between characters they ship that doesn’t end in ‘omg you were right and I was so wrong 🥺’#‘no I was wrong and I’m so sorry 😖😖😖’#‘okay let’s agree to never fight again and be healthy and happy forever 🥹’#and I’m more into complex not quite a perfect fit relationships right now#ones where they struggle to stay together#or where they both like each other but don’t get together for reasons OTHER than miscommunication#ones where they know they love each other but there’s obstacles#or where they’re both abusive shits#or where they’re both shitty people and they fit like a glove#I want more than just ‘luv you bby’ ‘awww me too’ ‘let’s go pet puppies together’#like sometimes I find two characters and I’m like ‘YES! something refreshing! let me find more content’#only to find all the fandom flanderized the characters#especially with the more toxic ones#it’s like. they’re shitty people but the fandom can’t explore that so they just remove everything that made them interesting#and its like ‘…why are you using *these* characters to do this?’#there’s every other character in the world to be sweet and cutesy#I’m hyperfixate on *this* dynamic#not the same dynamic every other relationship before it had#it’s like copy paste characterization regardless of if it makes sense#anyway#sorry for being a bitch about this but whatever :/#personal post
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Really don’t want to quit my job but like I need to quit my job
#don’t WANT to quit my job I like working in the store but anything and everything else is just downright intolerable never should’ve agreed#the problem is is that I don’t know if I have it in me to find another job at the moment and also I have proven myself thoroughly incapable#of handling things that require either speed or relatively quick learning and like there’s not gonna be much else out there for me I dunno#what to. do. because I can’t keep doing THIS this is miserable spend all day every day obsessing and worrying and dreading and i didn’t even#WANT to do it in the first place but I agreed because oh my god holding your ground just takes so much energy and I was so so tired#was right near the end of school and I was also so busy and hungry and falling asleep running on self hatred and a dream frankly#and I figured id be able to figure it out at least!! I generally do!!! and most things are tolerable if I can figure it out but now I’m in#ocd hell and everything is demeaning and embarrassing and crowded and FRUSTRATING and I want OUT. thank you.#tacit rambles#vent
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my motto for this game has been enjoy it for what it is and it is Working so far
#i do agree i am disappointed in the lack of nuance surrounding the politics of tevinter & antiva & etc. the world feels flattened#and it is … hm. Very similar to mass effect (with the point above being one of my major critiques of me3)#and idk the constant talk about ‘oh they want power’ well…why? when are we going to talk abt oppression?#but i like it right now! it is very fun to play i will say that#the companions are fun#datv spoilers#the more i think on it the more i’m like now wait the formula for this game is soooooo mass effect 3#also a lot of the lore critiques don’t hit me quite as hard bc i literally dont rmr anything from origins so i literally wouldn’t even know
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turning my phone off tomorrow I will NOT be going into work. im on holiday bitch!
#quite literally the first time in my life I’ve ever hit this level of doneness#this is my scheduled 4 day weekend i got in return for agreeing to work so much over Christmas#bestie i am on a casual contract! I don’t need to say yes to any shift!
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So much of the current marauders fandom controversy wouldn’t even exist if people just tagged their posts right 😭😭
#And if we stopped sending death threats to people I think that would be really cool!!!!#I’m very likely going to delete this post soon because I’m afraid of having it up and I don’t usually talk about controversies and shit#and I want to make it clear that I’m approaching this from a completely neutral point of view!!#so without further ado#in my humble opinion it is absolutely 100% so very valid so so fair absolutely okay for somebody to hate on a ship there’s no issue in that#just tag that it’s hate#It’s so very valid so very okay to like a ship and want to post about it#just use the right tags#don’t tag a ship that isn’t relevant#it’s so very totally okay and so very valid for you to be really fucking tired and really fucking annoyed with seeing a bunch of shit about#tags and characters that you don’t like or support and it’s totally fair that you don’t want to see it anymore#that’s the fault of the people making those posts and if you’re one of those people? use the right fucking tags#if you wanna hate - hate#if you wanna love - love#but no amount of loving or hating part of a fandom based on FICTIONAL MEDIA is justification for sending literal death threats#to real fucking people#there could be a child who has suffered from thoughts of suicide or sh on the other side of the phone that you’ve just sent death threats t#and that child could then be so frightened by what they’ve been sent or they could start believing that they deserve it#and then you would be the cause of irreversible damage to a literal fucking child#And the thing is that that’s literally just an example and there are hundreds upon hundreds of other people with different situations#whether that be adults and people who’ve never suffered with such thoughts etc#who could be affected just as badly if not worse#and that’s all because you got angry about a fictional fucking universe#from a completely neutral point of view I think it’s very reasonable to hate on a ship or a character etc#and I think there should be a place for that hate to be put online because at the end of the day thats part of what fandom internet is for#but that hate shouldn’t be directed towards real people (except for JK Rowling I think we can all agree she’s an exception)#and quite simply it should be tagged#IM GOING TO CONTINUE THESE IN REBLOGS I DIDNT KNOW THAT THERE WAS A TAG LIMIT#tw sui implied#marauders era
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FINALLY finished my outline for prodigal son it’s going to end up way longer than i planned </3
#there’s so much i’m trying to get across without making it ridiculously long#i’m like. trying to make it clear that malc isn’t the driving force here#because he’s a bit older than jamie and jamie’s only eighteen and pretty sheltered so it could seem dodgy#and don't get me wrong i'm not going to NOT write something just because it's objectively shady especially for ttoi#but it’s not like malcolm swoops in and initiates everything. that wouldn't fit the characters#jamie’s a determined wee shit and he’s fucking relentless when he wants to be#it’s more a case of malcolm caving and agreeing to let him into His World as it were#and jamie’s always had this anger and this rebellious streak that leaves him susceptible to doing shady shit#he’s not a kid he’s making his own decisions malc’s just here for the ride#and also like. jamie SEEMS like he’s losing his faith at points but it’s actually getting stronger#i don’t want it to seem like he’s given up god for the sake of following malcolm#he’s just making peace with the fact that his god and the christian god don’t align too well#it's kind of like. malcolm is partly helping him be more honest and brave and do some good in the world#but he's also partly (mostly unknowingly) being a genuinely bad influence too#but all the bad shit jamie's going to end up doing comes from himself. it was already there#because i see jamie and malc as huge enablers for each other. it's their whole thing#and i think it's interesting to show them in my fic being (for the time) very radical and rebellious#and it stems from a genuine desire to a) do good in the world and help people and b) break themselves out of the working class bubble#but by the time they reach canon that has manifested into something quite horrible#their rebellion and radicalism is now used to do bad things that don't even justify the end goal anymore#and now they've broken out the working class bubble they're just playing into the toxic westminster mindset#because that's the only way you survive in the game (or at least in malcolm's case. he ends up with no spine)#because he's willing to abandon his principles if it keeps him and the party in power#and at some point down the line the good intentions get lost to his own ego and need for control#anyway i'm normal#ttoi
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good things today:
National Park agreed to let us do a year-long research project starting in January which is gonna look REALLY good on my resume (and also be fun!)
difficult conversation with my boss went well (I think she agreed with me and I’d gonna follow my advice/had already reached the same conclusion herself)
fun concert (with banjo!)
made plans with a friend for tomorrow
got school work done
#sooooooooo pleased with today actually#the most important things today were that the meeting go well and the convo with my boss go well#and fellas we are two for two!#i thought she might be really hesitant to agree with me but i feel like she got it#bc i was legitimately coming at it from an unbiased perspective and she appreciated that#of course i DO have a secret biased angle but that’s frankly not even my fault#if someone says they’re gonna quit if they don’t get a certain job and then clearly demonstrates that they are not capable of that job… 🤷🤷#i did not cause that situation - so i am well within my rights to call it as i see it#tbh threatening to quit if you don’t get a job you’re unqualified for says a lot#like. this is a seasonal job - feel free to quit at any time!#but to be so specifically fixated on getting this one particular job and expecting to be handed it despite All Of That…#ridiculous#the definition of making your own bed#but i said it in a nice way of course so it got through#bc i do legitimately want her to improve and i feel like giving her the job would do the opposite of that#what she needs is strong and effective leadership (particularly when it comes to people management) to learn from#will she get it? who’s to say#maybe she’ll quit!#and wouldn’t that just be too bad…
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Rest in peace, Smiling Scug rivulet campaign, for you were taken so soon.
Sleep well, sweet prince
#Spaghetti Speaks#Smiling Scugs#Rain world bug#Rainworld bug#rw bug#Rainworld#rain world#rw downpour#Basically what happened was I might’ve messed up the game by trying to see what’s happen if I spawned in the rarefaction cell without takin#and it broke quite a lot#No cell that I spawned would hook up to Moon’s heart#I tried until my karma had plummeted#since it was co-op I did this without my friend as to not waste his time#the only reason Charlie is rivulet in that screenshot is purely so I don’t have to worry about drowning- not because I think it’s fitting#so I thought maybe it was broken because we never took the cell- so I fasttravelled to The Rot to fetch it… only to find THAT (image above)#I deleted the save file- we agreed it was completely bugged and to do gourm’s campaign instead next time#it also kept making my entire game bug out in a way I could only fix with a full reinstall#whole thing was so weird#we had fun before that nonsense at least#I’ll speak more of it in another post#rw rivulet#rw campaign#rain world downpour#Game bugs#game glitch
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no one understands how hard it can be for me to relax like I think my body & brain would rather die than relax i forced myself to put away my laptop & it wasn’t easy but I did I absolutely forced myself to put it up & I put on a video essay to sit back in bed & relax to but I disagree with everything this guy is saying so I can’t relax I’m going insane
#I’m just in one of my anxious modes I get like this sometimes (all the time)#but also.#this person is talking about always sunny & some of the information about the history of the show was fun even if I already knew it all ofc#but now he’s discussing what makes the show work & for such a super fan he misunderstands it so fundamentally#his analysis of the individual characters was pretty good & his discussion of how the characters being awful makes it a fantastic#anti sit com with compellingly awful characters#was so true#but his main point is that the heart of the show is the characters always screwing each other over in the end#& I don’t quite agree with that#that’s an important part but it’s not the heart#if the end of the Ireland arc got anything it got THAT at least#no. the heart of the show is that they can’t escape each other#they are all awful & also no one will ever love them EXCEPT each other#despite everything they are ride or die for each other#it’s the FOR WORSE of for better or for worse#the heart of the show & what ultimately make us keep wanting to watch these awful characters is that they will never ever be anything but#a family. a fucked up horrible family but a family nonetheless#THAT is the heart
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