#!DX
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*showing visible symptoms* oh my god i need help desperately
*symptoms go away for one day* what if im just faking it
#lukayaps#jiraiblr#jirai kei#jiraiblogging#landmineblr#jirai danshi#mental illness#landmine type#vent#landmine jirai#lifestyle jirai#lifestyle landmine#landmine kei#landmine#jirai#jiraikei#actually bpd#actually self-dx#self diagnosis
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friend asked recently how I knew I was autistic (late self dx) and after a joking answer of ‘five autistic people told me unprompted in the span of about two weeks, I settled on: I don’t.
I don’t Know that I’m autistic. What I do know is that my life makes more sense, and is easier to navigate, when I view it through the lens of being autistic.
I learnt what masking was, and started to undo the damage of 20+ years of it. I let myself stim for the first time out of joy and it was incredible. I recognised it as a regulation skill and started using it for coping. I stopped being cruel to myself about making ‘weird’ noises, I let myself ask for tone clarification from friends. I stopped thinking I was being rude by mimicking others (echolalia). I started respecting my own communication needs and differences. I started being able to communicate these with friends and loved ones, and had the language to do so. I recognised my sensory needs and was better at reducing shutdowns and meltdowns (which is also been confused by and blamed myself for in the past). I also could better identify things that were genuinely impeding on my life and ways to work with myself around them. (Social situations are easier now that I know what information I need before hand, and can prepare. I know what the difficulty involved in switching tasks is and can work with myself on it.)
Mostly I stopped bullying myself the way I’d been bullied growing up for everything that has made me ‘weird’. I stopped policing everything I did the way my parents had in an effort to ‘help’ me blend in. (I don’t resent them for this- I understand that what they did to me is likely what was done to them and they didn’t (and don’t) recognise it.)
Not a weird or broken horse, but a regular zebra.
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friendly reminder you dont need a diagnosis to be in disability spaces, as an example im in constant pain and fatigue, have migraines every week and my joints hurts to a point I can't write, but since familiar gaslighting/medical trauma and the fact that im an indigenous, brown skin fat man a diagnosis is fucking hard (but im in my way! :)) , but i still deserve a safe space to talk about my experiences and to feel valuable and supported.
never feel like youre interrupting someone's space or that you shouldn't be here cause you dont have a diagnosis, disabilities existed before diagnosis
#fatphobia#disabled pride#disabled community#actually disabled#pro self dx#pro self diagnosis#chronically ill#chronic migraine#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue
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it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.
personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.
if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.
now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.
there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.
#psychiatric abolition#before ppl come for my throat#know that i was prof dx'd with bpd + ocpd + both of those dx's were used to neglect + abuse me#but the doctors kindly reminded me not to Stigmatize Myself :) it's Okay To Have Noncompliant Brat Disease Charlie <3#but anyway we will be withdrawing care + writing about u being manipulative for advocating for yourself#but that's Not Your Fault :) You Have A Disease#these were doctors at some of the best hospitals in the country so do with that what u will#not to mention the pathologization of trauma inherent to this but anywayyy#this post brought to you by buy one get one free monster energy
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“Resurrection”
#pimsriart#pimsriart2023#I have been playing so much path of titans ahhhhh#dinosaur is my childhood hyperfixation lol#but i literally don't know anything else#i'm dumb and science can't get into my brain pls don't ask me which dino are they bc i don't know DX#dinosaur#uhhh#iguanodon#i think#and some#raptors#birds#the text is from mahler's symphony no2 finale
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#this file was called traumatriangle.psd#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#I actually managed to draw something this weekend WHOOOO!#I wish I had more time and energy to draw... being an adult is the worst :(#I wanna join in the fun now that the fandom has been revived!#I wanna draw comics again!! DX
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Having played PMD DX now, not letting you upgrade the base more in postgame was a really missed opportunity.
REUPLOAD from my old deleted account FYI. This is the only pic from there I rlly liked n want 2 keep so don't expect other reuploads.
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hold him close
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Concept art for various scrapped vehicles for Mario Kart Arcade GP DX.
Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source
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the funniest thing about how badly veilguard fucked up the crows - trying to turn it into some anti-hero, good guy faction that cares so much about antiva - is that as a contrast they had to write governor ivenci to be the most flat, comic villain ever like all of the game's villains cuz we cant have nuance but thats another post to make sure you the player know that Crows Good, Government Bad
but like!! they still had a point!!! you tried to make them sooo unlikeable and yet!!!
bitches hate to see a They/Them call out the guild of literal human trafficking, child abusing murderers that have control over the the country 😞
#governor ivenci#rayan ivenci#datv critical#i forgive them for their crimes - attempted or otherwise#yet ANOTHER way we failed jacobus my boy jacobus!!! Dx
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#pokemon#nintendo#pokemon mystery dungeon#gba#gaming#anime#video games#diglett#mudkip#eevee#funny#lol#humor#meme#gameboy#gameboy advance#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon red rescue team#pokemon mystery dungeon rescue team dx#switch#nintendo swti#nintendo switch#retro#nostalgia#nostalgic#2000s#2000ish#retrogaming
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#the outsiders#the outsiders fanart#ponyboy curtis#darrel curtis#sodapop curtis#I’m sorry#future DX worker!!!
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when your exploration team partner is a cat pokemon
#sound on!#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd rescue team#rescue team dx#skitty#torchic#if you remember these two then you're a real one#I haven't drawn them in so long...
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♫ Hatsune Miku: Project Mirai DX (2015) ► Mikuversi victory animations
#hatsune miku#vocaloid#miku#project mirai#project mirai dx#project diva#nintendo 3ds#rin#kagamine rin#luka#megurine luka#kagamine len#len#kaito#meiko#video game#dailygaming#dailyvideogames#nostalgia#gif#y2k#2010s#cute#heart#kawaii#kawaiicore#ysigifs#havent played with meiko yet but her little >зo is winning me over really hard#also im so mad rin and miku have the same animation. absolutely waste of an opportunity#all the animations in this game are extra cute btw
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Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX ~ Menu Backgrounds
#pokemon#pmd#rescue team dx#nintendo#treeko#torchic#cubone#chikorita#totodile#squirtle#pikachu#eevee#psyduck#charmander#bulbasaur
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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.
It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.
Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.
#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel#not knowing is one thing#erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different#like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way#and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr'#but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth#and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic'#and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience'#relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge#anyway. tl;dr:#if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!!#if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually#but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick#the locked tomb#harrow nonagesimus#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth
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