sonder-poems

[sonder-poems]

You

You’ve been down lately and we haven’t talked much, I wish I could hold you and let you know how much I love you, my dear moonlight

When I look up at night, I see the moon...

And the hurting soul I am writing this to

The boy with deep dirt brown eyes

Where all life seems to come from, where beauty truly lies

Brown curly hair, light-skinned, skinny and tall

Very “basic” features but that’s far from all

With kindness as authentic as a mined diamond

Honesty unmatched, genuine, divine and

A voice that could sway even the hearts of those lost

A smile, (I imagine) with the ability to defrost

With the gift of pulling people in like the tides

It’s hard to stay grounded when the gravity subsides

So I can’t help but look up to you, as you take strides

But we all have our weak moments at times

Two years, and it feels like not much has changed

Although, in the past week, not many words exchanged

As the moon fades, and the sun rises, our memories arise too

\Who needs the moon, when I’m blessed with you

[sonder-poems]

You Confuse Me

I love your humor, but for once, please be sincere.

I’m not the most communicative person

I feel like my talking skills can sometimes be worst than

My ability to tell what you’re about to feel

Whether it’s a joke or whether you’re for real

Over the past year, you’ve made two jokes about dating

An insinuation of why you want me to break up with my boyfriend, baiting

Your words have always confused me in ways

But you laugh and play it off, leaving me in a haze

I don’t expect a direct confession, a hug, and a kiss

But your words linger as I wonder if it’s another opportunity I have missed

When it comes to you, I’ve never been that smart

So, please let me know, and stop playing with my heart

[sonder-poems]

You Are My Muse

I wanted to write today but I have too many inspirations

I’ve always had writers block with love poems, but you inspire me differently. 

The way you make the little stupid thing in my chest feel that makes me feel... alive and reminds me I’m not quite dead yet.

The way you make the little stupid thing below my waist that digests my food, but can’t seem to process how much I love you.

The way you make the little stupid thing I use to talk fully stop moving, my words seem to get caught in my throat.

It’s a full time job being around you and feeling these emotions alone without you having doing anything. You might have to take a break with all this running through my mind... But no worries, my head is a temple that will always be open to you... I hope you feel the same.

[sonder-poems]

I Can’t Get You Out My Head

This guitar riff from OHSHC reminds me of you

My little love,

My... mon cherie,

Your goofy smile

Your amazing feats

When I hear those cords,

I can’t help thinking of us

The way you laugh

How you’re so sweet

The sun will shine

When you’re near me

Oh darling, my love, my sweet

Thinking of us And I can’t help

No, I can’t help

Wondering if you feel 

The same around me

I’m finally good, with you

I love you, mon cherie

[sonder-poems]

I’m Glad You’re In My Life, X

I originally wrote this poem for someone who didn’t deserve it. Made some revisions for you. 

Flax Wheels

Wool of two balls of yarn

Both spun on different flax wheels

One a thick bright eye-stunning pink of sparkle

The other a cooler shade of blue, much like the deepest color of ice, of a thinner texture

Both balls are spun feet from each other

And once created, thrown into a bin

The bin filled with many different spun yarns

Of different textures, colors, stretches, and bulks

The bright being thrown into one side

And the cooler being thrown on the opposing

As the yarns knit their own concepts

It’s up to the needles to decide whether they want to become a white thick rhinestone sweater

Or a brown thin bralette

Others are unfortunate enough to miss a few stitches and ultimately run out of thread for their mistakes

The pink and blue continue to wonder what they may knit with their wool

As 18 years passed, they are finally taken out of their bins, ready to knit

Excited until once realized two threads of them are intertwined 

The sparkling pink is excited and thinks of what they can create together

As the cooler blue is unaware of the pink’s excitement and awe 

The bright shining pink sees the potential in what can be created

And ultimately decides they want to knit with the thin blue

Knitting varies on whether you want to knit with a single ball of wool

Most choose duo balls, wools, and colors, two wools for an amazing outcome

Some choose more 

For now, the yarns stay at their stations imagining the possibilities of creation within their hold

For if one day they decide to cut and separate, that one intertwined thread will remain in a tight knot

Forever showing the existence of the two opposing colors that once created a beautiful colorful blend 

I hope one day I can create something with you.

[sonder-poems]

Please Don’t Leave Me

I just realized I’m in love with you

My name; water or woman of the rain. To move through things and never stay in one place for long, I flow through life, following one steady path only to be a sip of other glasses, never staying to see it all gone. I am evanescent. For years I have caught feelings for others, and they were unrequited. I am here to help them move forward with their lives, until they become bored of me. The filler character role that I have been burdened with has left me with a question for years: Am I burdened to watch the ones I love be happy and move forward while I stay at square one? I stare at my phone as thoughts run through my mind, messaging my one and only best friend. 

I smile as I see his message pop up on my screen. I think about his face, the deep brown eyes, and curly bangs that cover his eyes, his soft jawline and crooked smile with plump lips. Other people who know him call him loud, obnoxious, funny, full of himself. He is the most magnificent enigma I have ever known. His deep voice, 6-foot, horrible back posture self never fails to have me in awe. He’s always struggled with mental health, and I was always there when his world was falling apart. It was the two of us. I was his shoulder, as he was mine. 

A silly smile takes over my face when I see him. We talk for hours and play video games together, conversing on any topic that comes to our minds. I look at him with a glint in my eyes, a sparkle I held whenever he came into view. You always filled me with pain. I continue smiling, ignoring the inappropriate thoughts that race through my head. 

Acknowledgement or ignorance? Sure, I may have been a bit envious but that’s normal for a friend. I think about his bright smile and golden-brown eyes that resemble those of dirt, in which all life comes out of... but in a platonic way of course. Acknowledging anything more would mean complications to our friendship; it could lead to its demise... However, if I continue our friendship as if nothing has changed – which nothing has – then everything can stay the same and he’ll be happier. Acknowledgement means potentially losing him... While I would like to acknowledge there is more to my feelings, at least I have his eyes in my life. My inchoate feelings get the best of me.  

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I have always been the filler, so I debate whether to disrupt the flow of our relationship. I listen as you talk – another beautiful chorus. Your voice is a melody to a song I could listen to forever... platonically of course. While I could admit there is a small chance my feelings are something more – that I may wish for serendipity, I’m content with the relationship we have. If you are next to me, we’re content with our little world. Even if it means watching you share yours with someone else... I am proud to see it flourish. I stare up at the sky... my name, woman of the rain... except my cheeks are stained and the sun shines.

[sonder-poems]

Where It Begins

I don’t deserve this,

Two years

I gave you my love and I gave you my fears

You know how my love knows no bounds 

Such a love, is something so profound

With no bounds, I’ve been told I’m going to Hell

And sometimes I have feel like I have to dwell

Inside this shell, God I can’t breathe

God, why have you forsaken me

Two years, I’ve talked and you have listened

I stare at your eyes as they glistened,

I never felt so… safe and so found

Such a love, is not found all-around

Lately, you started to drift away from me

I wasn’t sure what for, I felt completely

Confused but I’ll stay and wait

Another two years, I can handle the weight

You tell me about your new found faith

I felt like I’d become a wraith

As long as you don’t see me as wrong

As long as you don’t degrade me, I’m so strong

You then told me you saw my love as a sin,

The ability to love everyone? Cut in

My heart like daggers as I stared in disbelief

My smile, dropping like a leaf

Then I began to sob, 

I sobbed and sobbed like never before,

Holding onto what your words tore

I grabbed onto my chest holding my heart

Since when was I not so smart?

I sobbed, and couldn’t breathe as I yelled for air

A silent yell, with pain I couldn’t bare

I screamed and sobbed and screamed again

But no one could hear me, but your god, Amen

A satanist, I would give anything to take away

My crying pain

But here I scream

And here I lay

You’ve changed, and now I’m too alert

Such a love, could only bring hurt