smileykit

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My god, I think I actually understand now.

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THIS. My god. ALL OF THIS.

There’s always a lingering question that I ask myself, which is why do I, a cis bisexual woman, enjoy romance between two men so much?  

There are easy answers, like that it’s just fetishizing.  And like, I find men attractive, yes.  But I also find women attractive.  I don’t have a problem with enjoying het romance, assuming I can find good ones.  I enjoy stories with female characters I can relate to.

But there’s something much deeper at play, IMO.  A friend of mine who is a gender studies professor was the first person to point this out to me, but a lot of women enjoy m/m romance and gay porn because of the lack of women.  It removes a source of pressure and sexism.  Without any women present, you don’t have to constantly evaluate the sexism of their portrayal, or be reminded of negative experiences in your own life.  It allows women to experience romance and especially sexuality without all the baggage that comes with it in our patriarchal society.

This was recently illustrated to me rather dramatically.  I read a recommendation for a het romance.  And it sounded cute, and came highly recommended.  The tropes at play were fun.  Until I read a snippet and realized this was a romance between a woman and her boss.  I had a visceral negative reaction.  

Instantly I’m thinking of sexual harassment stories I’ve read and heard from other women. I’m thinking of how uncomfortable it would be to have your boss develop feelings for you.  How icky the power dynamics would be, etc.  

And then I realized…this wouldn’t bother me if it were two men.  Now, there’s no logical reason for that.  Sexual harassment is just as wrong when its object is a man.  But I know I’ve read fics with a similar premise and never thought about it.  Because when it’s two men I can accept this is just a light romance, a fantasy, meant to be fun and sexy and not to represent the real world.

But I can’t when it’s a het relationship.  There’s too much baggage there.  Too much societal history of abuse.  I can’t relax enough with the premise to enjoy that story.  

Now some people can.  And that’s fine.  And some people are never going to be okay with power imbalances like that regardless of gender.  That’s also fine.  I don’t think having either reaction makes one morally superior.  It’s okay to just enjoy light entertainment for what it is without going into deep analysis.

But it’s much more difficult for me, and I think for many women, to relax and enjoy romantic and sexual stories when they involve female characters.  We’ve been burned too many times by shitty depictions, by shallow role models, by abuse portrayed as romantic.  We have developed a stress response, a trauma response to heterosexual romance.  We are hyper-reactive to a wide variety of triggers in regards to it.   But removing women from the equation makes stories safer for us.  And maybe it shouldn’t?  In an ideal world?  But for many of us, that’s the truth.

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No lie this is a freaking BOP.

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Rave, Maurice, Rave!

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In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

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The way they immediately crack up and don’t deny it 🤣🤣🤣

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Meeeeeeeee like a mofo

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For me, it’s the way Moe gently puts his hand on Jaime’s arm as he passes around behind Jaime to go examine the sign. It’s such a tiny little thing, but wow does it speak volumes of how far all these guys have come in their relationships with each other. 🥰

TED LASSO

Big Week (3x04)

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Well, it took a little bit but it happened. He popped up on my “in your orbit.” The Tumblr ecosystem has spoken. Hello, Ryan.

the chances man….he found me….I love this app.

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how long are radio stations gonna say “80s, 90s, and today!” We’ve entered the third decade of “today”

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Well, that was shit. You think I’m gonna watch a spin-off featuring the character that did THAT? You think I give two craps about that character NOW? You took all that good will and affection and flushed it in one minute. Congratulations. Kill them both, or kill neither. Don’t leave one of them floating, screaming in the middle of a river. What happens to her now? Does she drown? One is definitely gone, but there’s no ending for the other. It’s the ending, so END IT.

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American healthcare is not made for normal, regular people. Trying to take care of an aging relative is insanity personified. If that relative happens to have dementia or is disabled in any way other than just being old? My god. I completely get why people turn to less than legal means. This cost is EXORBITANT. How do these people sleep at night. This is not okay.

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All of these quotes fit these characters SO WELL it’s eerie.

Word of Honor and Santa Clarita Diet

(original set)

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Watch "Hoist the Colours Acapella VoicePlay ft Jose Rosario Jr" on YouTube

Yo-ho, all together - hoist the colours high!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

This is the best cover I've ever heard of this song, hands down. The chills are constant. Geoff's rumbling bass, Layne's crazy drums, Cesar's eerie tone and intensity, Jose's smoothness, Eli's heavy metal grit... To say nothing of the incredible arrangement and insane video production. Now off to listen a million more times.

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I love these guys!! Not only are they insanely talented, but you can tell they genuinely like each other. They always look like they are having the BEST time being around one another. I think BTS and Voiceplay would have an AMAZING time collaborating together. The behind the scenes shenanigans alone would be worth it!

[smileykit]

Well crap. There goes any productivity I was going to have. Bright side: LOOK AT ALL THE FREE KNOWLEDGE!! FREE PATTERNS!! WHOLE ENTIRE BOOKS!! Ahhhhhh!!! So excited!!

Crafters Beware!!!

This is the worst thing I've ever discovered. it's going to be so detrimental to me.

http://www.antiquepatternlibrary.org/

It has every antique hobby I'm interested in, in one place. FOR FREE!!!!

You're welcome