sexylazymercymama - Tumblr blog

[sexylazymercymama]

I’m not back on Tumblr! Just had to check my account for something and this popped up on the top of my dashboard. Dang, can’t believe I’ve been gone from this site for a year now.

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

[sexylazymercymama]

So true story: I have outlined *THREE* different puck bunny!Bitty smut fics based on the costume, each revolving around a different way the outfit may come off because- according to the comic- Bitty’s pretty much sewn into it.

1: There’s a sneaky zipper in the front, which is how Bitty gets that perfect v-neck.

2: Snaps under his crotch (not totally unheard of for a super-short bodysuit costume).

3: It’s actually 2 pieces, the hoodie top and booty shorts w/tail.

[sexylazymercymama]

Jack in year 1: “We’re going to get you over it.” Jack in year 3: “You’re over it and wow, is that arousing!!!”

okay not to be That Bitch but i was rereading and saw the first panel and couldn’t help but remember the second and… we love an arc

[sexylazymercymama]

Oh wow. Okay. The world does incredible things to us humans sometimes. The connections between people... there’s nothing like it.

Ok, yes, I just finished watching all of Good Omens and am once again having All The Thoughts of humanity and ineffability.

I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND AFTER READING THIS PLEASE READ IT

[sexylazymercymama]

Thank you all you awesome people who responded to me! For some reason I was sure it was an extra and not part of the main fic so I totally didn’t find it. Yay “cheering” for the other (Harvard) team! http://checkpleasecomic.com/comic/hockey-shit-chirp-1

I bet you Shitty goes to every Harvard hockey game and cheers super loud, but the team quickly realize he went to Samwell, was instrumental in kicking their asses for four years running, and is actually chirping them nonstop.

[sexylazymercymama]

Yes, please, and thank you.

Things I think about: Bitty’s birthday present to Jack

I was washing dishes when this headcannon came to me.  Here you go:

What do you get an NHL star for his birthday?  To be honest, Bitty is broke and while he could probably make a small fortune selling late night hand pies to the post party set at 2am, he has a better idea.

Bitty, with the enthusiastic help of the SMH, makes a “Drunk History of Hockey: the Story of Lord Stanley’s Cup”.

Lardo is in charge of filming.  

Both because it was Bitty’s idea and because his accent is amplified while intoxicated, the team makes Bitty do the voice over.  

One bottle of merlot in, and Bitty is ready, dressed in Jack’s Falconer’s jersey.

“Hey y’all! I am about to regale and amaze you with the story of Ice Hockey and the Stanley’s Cup.  No Stanley Cup.  Yes, Stanley Cup.  Ok, here we go.”

Lardo edits the film to sepia tone and adds a measured flicker to the film to make it look dated.  The story starts with Shitty skating into frame on the pond. Bitty’s voice comes in, “So this guy in cold ass Nova Scotia, named James Creighton says, “thank you N.S. but you are too cold for me, so I’m going to Montreal! “ And when he gets there, he’s all like, “Damnit!  It’s cold here too! But I got my sticks and I got these cool ass boots with knives strapped on with clamps, let’s take this mess indoors!”  

Bitty takes a moment to get another glass of wine before continuing with the story.

The camera pans back to Shitty now standing in Faber Ice Arena in a far corner to give the allusion that it was 100 years ago. “Alright, so then, Creighton makes a team and people run in like…” At this point in the tape, Ransom skates onto the ring, “Dude, you can’t play hockey indoors!  What if you kill someone with that ball that you are just smacking around on the ice?” And Creighton is all like, “Man, I’m going to like answer your concern with something even more dangerous!  Instead of a round wooden ball, how about I flatten it to something resembling a miniature frisbee of death!”

The camera cuts back to Bitty, “What do you mean frisbees weren’t invented yet?  Whatever, you know what I mean.”

Bitty takes the story through the first few games of hockey and all the way to the first leagues, the Governor General of Canada, Lord Stanley, and the inclusion and exclusion in the Olympic games.

When Jack gets the video, he has to pause it periodically because he’s laughing so hard as his boyfriend gets progressively drunker and Shitty’s acting gets more and more over the top.  The entire team had fun filming the various roles for the video.  

The video becomes a yearly tradition to be formally screened on Jack’s birthday or anytime at all when he feels even the littlest bit sad.  

[sexylazymercymama]

So I did this thing in September of 2018 and it somehow broke 1,000 notes(!!!) and I’ve seen some posts recently about timelines and Bitty’s background so I thought I’d share what I managed to put together.

Y’all. Y’ALL. We need to TALK about this.

Bitty starting college at 18 and being in the class of 2017 (meaning he’ll graduate when he’s 22) means HE WAS 15 AT THE TIME OF SOUTHERN JUNIOR REGIONALS 2010. Which means it was either spring of his freshman year or fall of his sophomore year of high school.

The closet incident was in 7th grade. Which means Bitty kept skating- FOR YEARS- after it happened. It wasn’t what made him give up figure skating like we’ve all been head-canoning for so long. He was locked in the closet and he kept skating anyway. Yeah Bitty!!

(Also, can someone verify for me that the move IS the reason he quit? I know everyone agrees on that but I thought we agreed on the move and quitting happening soonish after the closet incident and WOW.)

And also- Bitty went from figure skating championships at age 15 to being CAPTAIN of the hockey team his junior and senior years. He would have been about 16.5 when the season started his junior year. What. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE. Yes, he seems to imply that being captain might not have been a big deal because it was a “small town” team but we know his tape was incredible enough to get a full athletic scholarship to a Division I school (we know it’s Division I because they play Yale).

If he didn’t start playing hockey until after he quit figure skating (which seems super likely but please confirm if you can) even if he quit right after the Southern Junior Regionals championship then that means he reached Division I levels in 3 years. Here we were all thinking he started playing in 8th grade after the closet incident but… appparently not??? Turns out he’s an even more incredible skater/learner/athlete than we all realized (ya hear that, Coach??). @ngoziu , what are you even doing to us? Does Bitty have super powers?? Is he actually a secret future member of the superhero comic you’ve been sketching out recently? Was Superhero Bitty your plan all along???

My mind, it is blown. And this fic I was working on needs to be, like, completely re-written because I’m determined to make it as canon-compliant as possible.

Please let me know if there’s more to this that I’m missing!! And cite your sources, please! I feel like Tango now. I have…. so many questions.

[sexylazymercymama]

Happy Pride Month, all y’all!! Marching with my church at our local pride parade soon!! @omgpieplease I love it when I get reminded of your art. So good.

Some time in the future… Just Jack and Bitty livin’ their best lives. (A lil’ belated Pride month thing) My other Check Please stuff My Not-Check Please Stuff

[sexylazymercymama]

Peek at an old fic because I’m OMGCP trash.

Castro Street Fair, San Francisco, August 17, 1980. Photo © Paul Fusco. #lgbthistory #lgbtherstory #lgbttheirstory #lgbtpride #QueerHistoryMatters #HavePrideInHistory #PaulFusco #FridayVibezzz (at San Francisco, California)

[sexylazymercymama]

If anyone who’s followed me recently wants to know what I’m like, I once got so in my feels I wrote a RPF for an unknown federal employee(s) based on an anti-smoking campaign.

Just a reminder that someone in the federal government is using tax dollars to pay people for being fabulous.

Like I can just picture them, some federal government worker who got hired to work in the Department of Health & Human Services during the Obama administration, dedicated and passionate about making the world better for everyone, maybe the LGBTQIA+ community in particular, and finding ways to get them better access to healthcare and other important resources.

Then 45 gets elected. And they’re just…. devastated. But they love their work and they need this job and they don’t want to walk even if they did find something better because this is important work and somebody needs to fight for our country, and maybe they can find a way to do that from within.

Keep reading

[sexylazymercymama]

Thank you! I saw Whiskey’s haircut and had a total moment of Old Spice, “Look at sophomore Bitty. Now sophomore Whiskey. Now back to Bitty.”

I’m glad you liked my additions! I didn’t realize until I saw Whiskey’s Samwell Chop that since Bitty has grown out his undercut by the beginning of year 3 that Whiskey may not be aware that he now has the same haircut that his gay, out, boyfriend of a NHL-Stanley-Cup-Winner, captain had his sophomore year as well.

Update Feelings

Whiskey’s. Undercut.

I’m still really caught up in a lot of emotions about his internalized homophobia, and Bitty trying so hard to reach out to him and reassure him hurts my heart.

Also, his lack of excitement about his parents makes me very anxious for him, and feeds my thoughts about the internalized homophobia, and also his general fear of sexuality.

Jack Zimmermann’s body should be outlawed. Lordy.

That feeling is so incredibly awful and isolating and scary, and I know a lot of us don’t have to imagine it, or imagine the special kind of pain that comes from watching someone you care about seem to struggle with it.

Bits is clearly super upset about how Whiskey’s feeling/how he thinks he’s feeling, and his anxiety and worry over it is hard to see, and also perfectly illustrates why we love him as much as the SMH does.

Jack and B Haus sleepovers are common.

Also though, imagining Jack’s feet poking out of the covers and hanging off the end of the bed is hilarious. These two are both athletes and muscled accordingly, the only way they could possibly share a twin is for them to be pretty much on top of each other. “Cozy” indeed, Jaques.

Every time Jack calls his boyfriend by his last name, a hockey puck gets its wings.

Jack trying to get Bitty to talk about The Real Stuff, and Bitty’s panicked “nope, nothing to see here” face are everything.

Bitty: Coach won’t think about me being gay if he doesn’t see my boyfriend.

Jack: That’s not how this works, babe.

A) Poor anxious Bits.

B) Smooches on the top of the head are very important to me.

FORD!

She’s so cute!

BITTY’S SMILE!

HOPS!

HOPS’ MOM IS A HUGE FAN OF BITTY! SHE BAKES!

IF THEY BAKE TOGETHER I’LL CRY BECAUSE THERE’S BEEN NO MENTION OF SUZANNE AND WHAT IF BITS HASN’T SEEN HER OR BAKED WITH HER SINCE THE KISS!

Bitty is a fan of Hops and his mom, because he is a good man.

He looks so scared when he hears the “Y'all”, my poor baby.

(Also though, “I am the y'all-er in this Haus, who do you think you are?”)

Coach? Is so good looking?

Also, he is so happy to see Bitty, and my heart is full, and it’s making me really emotional.

I’ve always sorta thought that Coach would be the parent that was more accepting of Bitty, and Suzanne would be more distant and cool towards him, and this is not dissuading me. I’m so, so happy to see how happy and comfortable he is waiting for/seeing Bits is amazing, and I hope it puts Bitty at ease and gives him comfort.

And, finally and very very importantly, the “Hi, Daddy” nearly killed me, because Bitty so rarely (maybe once or twice in canon?) refers to his dad as anything other than" Coach, and here it’s almost as if it snuck out because he was caught off guard by his dad’s appearance– both his early arrival and his big, proud papa smile.

Next update is gonna be A Lot.

[sexylazymercymama]

Hello, half-naked boys. I love the angle and the perspective and the way peeking in through the window adds to the sneaky nature of it and hints at the way Jack snuck into Bitty’s room without anyone knowing. No idea why tumblr’s not showing it under @happyzimm‘s “my art” tag, though. :(

inspired by @17piesinseptember‘s ficlet

[sexylazymercymama]

Just a reminder that Versify Books is a real imprint, started by Kwame Alexander so you know it’s genuine, it’s on Tumblr, and they want submissions from authors of color. You can do it, awesome people!!!

The incredible Jason Reynolds gave some praise to Lamar Giles’ LAST LAST-DAY OF SUMMER! He says “All children deserve to exist in magical spaces where their imaginations and familial bonds will them into heroism…I for one am grateful to Giles, and this brilliant story, for that reminder.” 

[sexylazymercymama]

I love this forever. More socialist Steve Rogers, please. Seriously, this is me asking for recs.

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

Keep reading

[sexylazymercymama]

This is why representation matters. This is made by someone with true knowledge, respect, and appreciation for the culture, someone who truly knows it, not just some white kid going “oooh, I love anime so Imma draw “samurai” superheroes now.”

Ukiyo-e Endgame 

Japanese illustrator Takumi blends pop culture with the ancient Ukiyo-e art form in his latest series of superhero illustrations. To celebrate the recent Avengers: Endgame film release, the talented fantasy fan rendered each famous character in the style of authentic Japanese woodblock illustrations.

[sexylazymercymama]

How could somebody post such gorgeous wlw content and not tell me where it’s from?? Help, I’m a stay-at-home parent and grad student with little awareness of media and culture and what’s on TV these days.

[sexylazymercymama]

You can laugh but this is exactly how you teach babies to talk!!! 

By responding to their babbles with full sentences and engaging them in “conversations” like this, you teach them that the sounds they make have meaning and that they can use them to communicate with the people around them! 

This inspires babies to try even harder to make the sounds that will produce certain responses, i.e. get them what they want, whether it’s milk or a snack or attention!!

I don’t know if this dad knows that he’s using some of the best-proven methods for enhancing infant language development or if he’s just loving interacting with his kid. A+ daddying either way. Also, the look on the dad’s face when he looks at his baby. My ovaries hurt. So. Much. Love.

Confirmed that Chris Evan’s really did re-tweet this, too. Had a peek at his Twitter while I was at it. What a gorgeous SJW, that man.

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