sabenhalfmoon

[sabenhalfmoon]

did you hear they're gonna start publicly executing anyone with a glimmer of hope and a light in their eyes

[sabenhalfmoon]

stretches my legs out so far with all toes spread out wide

[sabenhalfmoon]

[sabenhalfmoon]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[sabenhalfmoon]

I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon

[sabenhalfmoon]

Tfw when men do that thing where they pretend they have no control over their temper. LOL It’s so funny like am I supposed to pretend that I don’t know you’re completely self-aware and present during this rage performance. Or should I pretend you’re the tortured hero in a movie, possessed by a series of fabricated flashbacks of the war and your father

[sabenhalfmoon]

[sabenhalfmoon]

just encountered a corner of pinterest with some of the craziest cocktail recipes ive ever seen. i dont drink so idk how these would taste but the names and graphics alone are really getting to me

[sabenhalfmoon]

Here's a fun story of malicious compliance to brighten your day:

Until recently, a few people in my office had these desk shades to combat the obnoxious fluorescent lights, which is very helpful for people (like me) with migraines or other light-sensitivity issues.

A few days ago, everyone who has them was told to take them down. Different people were given different reasons - It violates fire code (it doesn't) / It blocks line of sight (sort of?). Since this goes against the existing status quo, the union reps (my beloved) jumped on it. Someone jokingly suggested using umbrella hats instead, since hats are allowed in the dress code. Today, the union reps are passing out these ridiculous things in protest:

If the rules are absurd, the resistance should match.

[sabenhalfmoon]

daily affirmations:

i will wash the dishes

washing dishes is not that hard

i have the skills needed to wash dishes

i am a dishwashing genius

i am never using a plate again in my life

[sabenhalfmoon]

[sabenhalfmoon]

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

[sabenhalfmoon]

oh you think your life is hard? try being a gay rat living in france who hates your dad and just wants to cook

[sabenhalfmoon]

Put your fucking knight on a leash it keeps trying to duel mine

[sabenhalfmoon]

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

[sabenhalfmoon]

masquerade 🎭💀

[sabenhalfmoon]

i think elon musk has had a really, really bad week. thoughts and prayers next week is even worse <333