good girls swallow. fight eating disorders. (dipping in and out of recovery from social anxiety and an eating disorder)
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wow so camhs said that if things don't get better they'll have to admit me to an eating disorders clinic. I haven't been in recovery for long at all, I don't even feel like im in recovery now, and I'm already being threatened with inpatient. I have an appointment with a dietician from rhodes farm to try and make things easier and help me follow a meal plan.
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i’m sorry i was the wrong kind of mess // 01.03.15
#you#love#heartbreak#him#boys#kiss#smoke#smoking#cigarettes#vodka#alcohol#drunk#vomit#bulimia#anorexia#eating disorder#ednos#ed#blood#cuts#self harm#scars#sh#depression#self destruction#suicidal#broken#poem#poetry#mine
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I really need to start taking advantage of the people who are offering me help. there are so many friends / teachers / family members etc who have said "i'm here if you ever want to talk" - I really need to take that seriously because i'm feeling SO alone
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my mental health (or lack of it) constantly makes me feel so pathetic and I know it shouldn't/it's an illness/I can't help it but how come everyone else can cope and I cant ???
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i'm sorry i was the wrong kind of mess // 01.03.15
#this actually hurts my chest to read#spilled ink#poetry#poem#mine#romance#boys#love#heartbreak#vodka#cigarettes#smoking#eating disorder#bulimia#ednos#self harm#depression#mental health#self destruction#suicidal#you#i'm a mess
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negative post !!
I saw my psychiatrist last week and (without meaning to) he made me feel super bad about putting on weight and now (not just because of that) im relapsing so badly with restrictive behaviours/exercising etc. and im just finding everything so difficult. im really struggling with my insomnia, anxiety and self harm urges and im even getting suicidal thoughts which have never really been a problem for me before. I feel like I can't tell the people around me i'm struggling anymore because they're already trying to help me, i'm just not helping myself??
#god this is so negative#this has all been in my head for far too long#ignore this!!#negativity#rant#personal#eating disorder#eating disorder recovery#ed recovery#ednos#ednos recovery#anxiety#insomnia#self harm#:((((((((
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i've just turned sixteen and i don't like who i have become (07.02.15)
#spilled ink#poetry#sixteen#mental illness#depression#anxiety#eating disorder#ed#anorexia#bulimia#ednos#self harm#alcohol#smoking#love#heartbreak#sad#suicide#suicidal#depressed
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I told my mum that I was having really bad urges to purge and she got me a blanket and a glass of water and made me sit with her and watch a stand up comedian for two hours. she's trying so hard I love her.
#bless her#ed#ednos#purging#ptw#urges#eating disorder#eating disorder recovery#ed recovery#ednos recovery#ed warrior#personal
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cigarettes are not cool!!! don’t fucking start smoking!!!!!! whatever image yo wanna be, however badass or indie or grunge you wanna seem, it’s so stupid love yourself nerd and don’t smoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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honestly students with mental disorders such as depression anxiety etc that go to school should get more recognition and support, most people have no idea of what it is to have to pick yourself up every morning and attend class even when you feel like dying
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