questioning-ex-rq

[questioning-ex-rq]

hi, please don't feel discouraged from exploring perspectives outside of the rq community and finding a good way to separate yourself from it if that's what you're looking for just because of the bad faith anons sent to you. i'm proud of your journey, keep it up

that being said, i think i may have had the wrong idea about transids because i've seen them used exclusively in rq spaces so by association i assumed they're synonymous. would you mind explaining the difference as someone who was in the community? thank you

I've been in para spaces for like a decade so was aware of transage and other transids (used to be called transx/trans[x]/trans+ or other obscure umbrella terms) well before radqueer existed

In radqueer's coining, it just says it supports them - it didn't create them, they were just widely unsupported identities and there wasn't a word for supporting them really. It also doesn't even use the word transids since this came along afterwards:

OG Coining (mostly defunct / not used): supports "a range of marginalized and stigmatized queersexualities (paraphilias), internal identities (transage, transabled, transill/transnoso, transpecies, alterhumans/transnonhuman etc) and behaviours (social, sexual eccentricity etc)."

Most linked coining: "queers that love all sorts of identitys. Even “problematic” ones like transable,trace, transage, ect. + supporting paraphilas. Basically all good faith identitys."

Age dysphoria and transage existed in para spaces and other spaces like trauma recovery, age regression, and plural spaces way before radqueer came around actively supporting it. Transabled and trace (formerly transracial) are no different

This is part of why I'll never look at a transidentity and say it's a 'radqueer term' even if a radqueer made it. It's like how anti-endos often call non-medical terms like factive 'endo terms' when they're perfectly usable by non-endos and even people who don't support endos

[questioning-ex-rq]

i dont have a problem with mad pride. i assumed your delusion about having cancer was harmful because to me this would be a harmful delusion, which i am sorry for assuming. my problem is with transid labels as i dont think that trans should be used for things that arent transgender/transitioning. you can do what you want, but owning this blog for questioning leaving the radqueer community is obviously going to attract people who are going to want you to question the radqueer labels you use

yes, owning this blog will attract questions. I am responding to them. sending in questions means you will get answers and I can answer however I want :)

I do not see any label other than radqueer as inherently radqueer unless it's some radqueer-inclusive blankqueer label. radqueer is an ideology, not an umbrella term, transids and paraphilias are not 'radqueer terms' in my eyes. so we see it differently, that's fine

I think that trans can be used when not referring to fully transitionable states like how it's used with gender (which you can't really transition genders anyway, it's not that you were once one gender but then made the choice to change to another, you just are that gender). I see no issue with things like transspecies for example. you don't agree. oh well. womp womp. I see no use for this debate

you come here to lecture me on my delusions and how I 'should' respond to them, you come back to ask me why MAD pride can't replace an identity label, and you come back again to say what you actually wanted to say this whole time, which is apparently just 'I don't think you should use transids'. just say that- and even then I've said I'm considering dropping them but prefer the definition

please also notice how I haven't actually once said I want to continue using transids far into the future, but that the wording is the most fitting for me and I will always specify that those are the words that describe me best

[questioning-ex-rq]

i truly apologize for my last ask and appreciate you explaining your experience. i experience my delusions in a fairly different way and it's a perspective i haven't come across but does make sense. i should not have assumed anything and realized how rude it came across. in this case, what is your opinion on MAD pride (as in, do you see this as a potential alternative for transids you use for delusions specifically)?

why would just MAD pride, which is just a movement of pride for mental health conditions, be a satisfying alternative to labels that actually describe how I feel about my identity and sense of self?

I do not see why I have to find an alternative. and if I did I would've thought that alternative would be existing coinings for atypical dysphoria like dissomei (which I've explained doesn't fit as good right now), not just MAD pride existing? I'm confused

like I said, I'm happy to use dissomei terms, but I will always prefer the transid wording and I will always specify that I use that wording

it really isn't my fault that there's 'controversy' around the transid community and label or whatever. it describes my experience

why are you so quick to have me replace a useful descriptor for myself? especially when just moments ago you were complaining about MAD pride and telling me I shouldn't have flags representing my 'harmful delusions'

[questioning-ex-rq]

why do you feel like you need to label your experiences with harmful delusions as pride flags? shouldn’t you be focusing on working through these rather than centering your identity around it?

I dislike the idea that I should reject the way my identity works by default when it doesn't hurt anyone. the entire way you worded this is actually just accusatory bullshit

you are not me or a medical professional who knows me. you do not know if my delusions bring harm to myself or others. going out of your way to call them 'harmful delusions' is an assumption you're automatically making about my delusions simply because they're delusions

your specification of 'pride' flags is also disingenuous. I know that you're trying to act like I'm 'proud' of 'harmful' things when you actually know nothing about how I feel about them, not all flags represent pride and pride doesn't always mean being happy that you are something

you cannot just 'work through' a delusion. you as a stranger cannot come up to me about my mental disorders and go 'shouldn't you be doing this?'. I have professionals. I have a diagnosis. I have medication. I also have free will over whether I take said medication or not

I don't like the side effects. I am med-resistant so have to take more for a smaller effect. and I only take it if I feel especially in need of it

I should not have to live my life loaded up with medication just so that my identity makes more sense to you

it's not 'centering' my identity around delusions, my delusions impact the way I experience my identity. it's not some choice to 'center' my identity around them they literally impact all areas. every last one.

[questioning-ex-rq]

Maybe coin ur own term? A term similar to dissomei and desirdae, but feeling like you should have been [x] or similar? If you're not one for coining, I can try to coin it myself later ^^

I'm not actually that big on just recoining transids with the exact same wording over an association with radqueers that they didn't ask for, and a community that they didn't ask for. I think it's just a lot of hassle over a small issue I've never seen anyone else have. it's also been done too many times now and the same terms have to get coined every time in every different wording with every different flag template. it's pointless imo

personally I'm fine just specifying that the transid definition for all my atypical dysphoria related identities is most applicable to me

[questioning-ex-rq]

if you like how transid labels are more focused on "i feel like i should be this/i internally am this" and not about a disconnect, you might like desirdae better than dissomei?

it's not a desire either, I just feel like I am the thing or like it's wrong that my body doesn't have it, like I should have it

i feel that way about things i dont necessarily want or desire, like cancer. it just feels like it should be that way or when delusions are really bad, like it already is that way

[questioning-ex-rq]

you might want to remove the #radqueer tag from ur pinned post

I would like radqueers to see my posts. I think closing myself off to their community only makes them more isolated in its vacuum and I think they deserve to be aware of people who've noticed issues with their community but also aren't verbally attacking them for being in it

I always used to think that anyone labelling themselves 'ex radqueer' or associating themselves with anti-radqueers hated me, but that's not true and I needed to see non-radqueers who accepted my identities to come to that conclusion

I think 'cross-tagging' when you're just flat out verbally attacking a group is a bit uncalled for, but when you're not quite one or the other yet like me, or your content may be useful for or directed towards radqueers, I don't see why you can't tag it

[questioning-ex-rq]

Pandissomei / Pandissodic

Pandissomei or Pandissodic (could also be called Dissoeverything) is a dissodic term that describes someone who feels involuntarily disconnected from the entirety of their physical / current self, believing that every aspect of them should be or is something else

This could refer to feeling disconnected from each individual part of yourself, being dissoage, dissobody, dissospecies, and so on, or just feeling disconnected from yourself as a whole. You don't have to identify under each dissodic umbrella individually to be pandissomei

This term is against transitioning if its unsafe or could harm others

@dissodic-archive, flag template by @kiruliom

[questioning-ex-rq]

Info, Intro, BYF

Note: my opinions are being re-developed. I'm new to being able to question these things openly and may lack in-depth views on things or use terms you interpret as meaning something else

About the Blog

This blog is especially a safe space for those who have left or are considering leaving the radqueer community or the radqueer label, but anyone can interact, I have a block button after all - asks are always open

I wanted to make a new blog where I can connect with others in my position and talk about how I feel more openly without fear of backlash from the radqueer audiences on my other blogs. I believe this will ultimately help me come to a more free conclusion about the radqueer community, and help me make friends on other sides of the debate. There's a lot about the community I dislike or don't agree with, but you're encouraged to just 'let it be' in those spaces

About Me

You can call me Mori as a pseudonym on this account, he/him. I'm currently active in the radqueer community - I have a blog and Discord server that is primarily used by radqueers - but I don't feel like I can freely question things in that space, so I came here

Right now, I don't really identify as 'radqueer'. I sort of fell into the community in late adulthood when it first came about because people used to call me radqueer for having paras and atypical dysphoria. At that time, the only space that really recognised my dyshporia was the radqueer community, but now it's different

Because of that, I want to learn what all sides have to say. Since I also have a really solid knowledge of what it's like to be in the community as well as in similar communities before radqueer existed, I'm also happy to offer info about my experiences in the community

BYF

I'm bad at remembering to check for DNIs and don't always interpret them correctly. Check if I meet your DNI below:

I am NOT: - radqueer - pro or neutral contact, pro-abuse, anti-consent, pro-noncon, etc - pro harmful transition I MAY be classed as: - transid (I'm considering moving to dissomei, but the transid wording of 'feeling like I should be/internally am' fits my delusions better than the dissomei wording, and there's more transid labels coined) - 'radqueer-adjacent' (this is vague. if you consider just being pro-atypical dysphoria and pro-para to be that, then yes, but otherwise I just assume I don't fit it) - pro-transid (I'm questioning if I should keep this stance, some transid terms I think are better off worded differently or being less specific) I AM: - an adult (21+) - dissomei / atypical dysphoria - pro-para (in the 'supportive of people with any type of paras' sense, unrelated to contact) - multiple fictendels and factendels - questioning plurality - radinclus