prettylittledi

[prettylittledi]

[prettylittledi]

Higher vibe

There are things we do just for fun, because they make us feel good and so we prompt ourselves to do them and we seek to make them a constant in our lives. Sometimes however it’s not as easy and it’s important to know that we can summon those feelings by recalling the moments when we felt that much good and get back on our feet or simply turning back to those things and doing them all over. 

Having tried to record a video this morning and failed to accomplish it in th manners that I had idealized I decided to turn to my blog. This video was supposed to cover the things I do on a regular basis to keep my vibration high and feel mostly good throughout the day even in the face of disturbing challenges.

It’s all a matter of mindset, and it was this very premisse that compelled me to write this blog today. When I realized the videos I had just tried to record I thought almost instantaneously less than good feeling thoughts. And then intermediately afterwards I talked myself out of it and thought instead: “Okay, Di, what was it that you learnt from this? How can you benefit from this experience?” And it got me thinking, it really did.

Yesterday night when I was thinking about recording this video I thought I would first and foremost write about the subject of how I keep my vibration frequency high. And how funny is that, how ironical and instructing it feels to discover my patterns that make me feel less than positive about myself when going around this subject! 

So now I am going to write on this blog the very things that make me feel good on a regular basis.

The first thing that crosses my mind when I think of this is listening to audio-books. The first one I ever purchased was Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone about a year ago, before the first quarantine. Everyday, several times throughout the day I would put my hear-speakers on and listen to this fabulous story. Not before long I had the entire saga and was craving for more audio-books. So far I total a number of 22 purchases.  

So I guess it’s safe to say that Harry Potter is one of the things that makes me feel good. In fact it’s sort of an obsession, I don’t think life had much sense to me before J. K. Rolling came along into my life many years ago. Ahahahaha!

Daydreaming is another things that helps me feeling lighter and getting some relief sometimes. Lately I had been daydreaming about my moving to the States and I relish thinking that it might happen sooner than I expect. Listening to the History of United States on Audible - yes, another audio-book - is also another way to keep me lifted up and motivated. In fact it’s even deeper than that. I think I do it because it feels so good to get to know this culture. I remember when I was a little and I have written here on this blog about it, when my father and I would watch American movies together, Saturday-family movies that would make my heart swell and my soul dance. 

That’s how I feel when I think of moving and living in the United States. A whole new world in front to me to experiment. Completely different people with a completely different culture, many sets of cultures and a huge range of opportunities to learn from them.

Spending time in nature and meditating are two major things which I simply must do. In fact I mustn’t really, I just find myself doing it because it’s so intrinsic in me. Like breathing, Sometimes it just takes me lying down on the grass and watch the clouds passing by and I envision them as my thoughts, things that happened and I want to let go of and there and then I find relief. 

The one thing I really love and tend to procrastinate with is doing the manifesting exercises offered by Esther and Abraham Hicks. A while ago, when I was working at a supermarket - when the second quarantine was announced in Portugal - I decided to listen to her audio-book version of “Ask and You Shall Receive”. It was incredible! I haven’t yet finished it but I can promise you that it is an amazing read. One of the my “ahah” moments for me was when Esther offers the idea that our happiness is independent of any condition. In other words we must feel good for the sake of feeling good and not just so we can achieve a certain goal - which is a belief held by many people around these days. We don’t have to have things or people in our lives to be happy. I know this now because for far too long I had this crazy Idea that I would only be truly happy when I was living in London. And because I was so attached to my moving there I would feel horrible. And then I finally moved to London and even though It was amazing in many ways, it proved a different kind of experience. Completely different to what I had imagined. Or grown attached to think what London would be like.

As an actor I tend to turn to all things creative and so everyday I find myself dancing, singing and writing, sometimes even during work. I simply can’t help myself.

[prettylittledi]

Carrying (Myself) Out (Loud)

In 2017 during a drama lesson my classe-mates and I were doing an exercise I had suggested in which We’d face everyone in the room sitting in front of us and one by one we would tell what it was that we most wanted to do with our lives.

Everyone did so, some more enthusiastically than others, some with more clarity that others.

I being the last one had the answer in the tip of my tong. I said: “I want to live a Carrie-Bradshaw-kind-of-life. Having my own apartment and writing and having friends in whom I’d confide every tinny detail of my utmost sordid moments.

The devising of such dream took time to be taken seriously. It took a great deal of nervous outbreaks, tears and confusion where and when I’d not know myself.

But I do now. I may not be blond, nor blue-eyed hot-chick with cool outlooks and a sassy mouth. Well, perhaps the sass I do, but all the same, I may not be Carrie per-say, but I do know myself now. I do know who I want to become, at the very least. That being a start provides a sense of comfort.

Not quite appreciating being born in a country I don’t quite love and having for too long forced myself to learn how to, I am resolute, secure and vested in finding my place.

I’ve tried London which was quite nice. The first dream come true. First time making out in a park with a guy I enjoyed, in front of everyone in broad day light. Learnt how to sell, excelled my English skills and sharpened my passion for this Language. My all time passion ever since I can remember.

Now, quite aware of the more I want to acquire and forcefully feeling I can make it on my own, I am willing to figure out, take whatever time it may. I am desirous of this adventure.  

[prettylittledi]

Unce upon a long time ago there was a boy who more than anything else wanted to be a girl. His sole-whole happiness presided over the fulfillment of such wish.

Not being able to realize it, he sought to be anything but himself for it didn't know how to be himself - or better perhaps: he was much too afraid to.

So one day he convinced himself and uttered others to know that on his 10th birthday a fairy would pay him a visit at night while he was sleeping and turn him into a true girl.

When the morning of his 10th birthday came and he was still himself, the boy decided, for so he had seen on television, that if he performed a 100 Good deeds he'd be worthy of being a girl. He even knew what he would look like! Identical to his favorite Bratz doll called Meygan

Over 100 good deeds he came to accomplish during the subsequent 17 years, and nowadays he's a grown man writing about women who inspire him to create the most delightful stories.

And he couldn't be happier for it.

[prettylittledi]

If I could then I would tell Little Di it was okay for him to be himself. I would hold his hand and say that speaking up and defending what he believed in were perfectly plausible. I would allso tell him to dream an never stop dreaming. That all yewanted to accomplish was possible an that by workig uard and with persistency he'd get wherever and become whatever he wanted.

In truth I'd tell him to dress up, go out and date, study what ue was passionate about and never let anyone tell him what to be or what to do.

I'd encourage him to share his opinions,to actively participate in activities and follow his heart.

I'd tell him he was perfect and that even though he wasn't born in the ideal place, wherehe was was good enough to start with,and that when he was older and bolder and wiser, he'd get the change to go everywhere and do anything.

It is with this inspired state of being that we are supposed to live ourlives. From our childish days to our adult times.

Now is the time to remember what dreams we left behind. Now os the time to pick up where we stopped and resume our adventurous journey in this life.

Should it be true and we only get to live once, why not gettig the most out of it?

In a few years, no matter how long it tkes, I'm gonna make my childest dream come true. Living in the United States and make an amazing, fabulous, fantastic life for me.

Wish you, dearest reader the same fortune.

[prettylittledi]

American Dreaming.

What is it about (North) Americans that makes me smile every time I think of them, come about their presence or simply see them on TV?

Why so much joy and admiration for a country I wasn’t born into but always dreamed of, when I have one where so much good lies ahead?

Is it the lack of Patriotism and National Pride of my Nation that compels me to seek for anther whose spirits about itself are more highly elevated? 

After 5 years dreaming and seeking to live in London, I managed to move there. For three months I sought to make a reality out of that which for so long only happened to be an idea. The English dream, the nice villages with theirs cottages and kind-warm-welcoming people. The adventures and walks around the parks, the many crusades.

For three months then did I attempt to make my stay long and indefinite, secretly perpetual tough. 

And now back to the nest, by the face of Europe I dream of the New Continent and a prosperous life by the one of the many States. I find myself learning its History and eagerly so. I even seek references and opportunities to endorse such an expedition.  I do not wish however to make it as irrational as its predecessor. Having learnt form my mistakes of obsessing about an idea is now indicating me to do all manner of things which are linked and attuned with my will and intentions, with ease and earnest. 

When I think of joining the American People and become a citizen of the United States myself, I think of a family living in a beautiful house. My mother and father have respectable and prominent jobs, our neighbors are nice and the zone we are settle in, quite tranquil. We celebrate the National and International festivities and commemorate with the fundamental values of family, freedom and purpose.

My young brother is studying with me at school He’s the cool kid. I’m the hot-chick. We’re quite popular, each in their own way. We have friends and in spite o having the normal, eventful sibling falling-outs we are the best of friends. 

This image of my family and myself has been inspired by a certain TV show I used to watch when I was a little. “100 deeds for Eddie McDowd”. I remember as if it had been only yesterday when the main character with his family were celebrating some festivity of the National Calendar (probably the 4th of July) with the many triangle-shaped USA flags hanging around the backyard. I remember it was with this TV show as well that I learnt the term : dollar. Although I couldn’t pronounce it correctly then. 

On this note, I hope that this new adventure, after having finished my Master Degree (which by the way comprises American Literature as one of its course Units) may provide some comfort and absolute joy to this child within who still remembers and lingers to the memories of yonder when playing around and watching television wasn’t yet a project material, but only a matter for fun and dream-making.

May the odds be ever in my favor.